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crusherthedoctor · 1 year

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1, 7, 12, 18 for Sonic :P

1. the character everyone gets wrong

All of them.

If I had to pick one, then I'll be predictable and go with Eggman. Other characters may come close or even exceed in terms of how often they're turned into something they're not (Sonic and Shadow being the two that immediately come to mind), but for obvious reasons, it's a bit more personally infuriating when it pertains to the good doctor.

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how the fandom acts about them

I try not to let fandom alone sway my thoughts on a character too often, since I prefer to judge a character through… well, the character, and their showing in the actual product(s).

That said, there have been exceptions that are too overwhelming for me to ignore. Usually this relates to characters I already hated in the first place, like Surge, so it's no major loss. But for a more regrettable example… Amy.

Now let me make it clear that "hate" is MUCH too strong a word in this case, since I wouldn't say she's a straight up bad character or wish she'd be removed. I still like the basic concept of her character, and I still appreciate her good portrayals and what she's able to bring to the table.

But for a multitude of reasons - most notably, the one-two fuck you punch of Frontiers and Prime making me realise that the amount of times where I think she's been portrayed legitimately well pale significantly in comparison to how many times they've dropped the ball with her, even compared to other characters - she's unfortunately been losing me all over again. And the fandom's current attitude with her, such as their tendency to defend everything she does when they'd eviscerate her if it were any other character, their tendency to break their own rules in order to give Amy preferential treatment ("Respect the ordinary girl!… but plz let her go Super and be more powerful than Knuckles and Tails combined and one-shot Eggman's strongest robot and beat the entire cast in a fight tee hee"), their tendency to spark #Rally4Sally-style hysteria every single time she's not in something, and rabid Sonamy fans… acting like rabid Sonamy fans, has only amplified this.

Maybe the tide will turn yet again if she gets a string of better, less eyeroll-worthy portrayals in the future. But for now, when taking her overall history into account, I've come to the regretful conclusion that she's arguably the most overrated of the recurring game cast at this point in time, and ultimately the fanatic sides of her fandom are no different to that of Sally's.

There's also Silver. Like with Amy, "hate" is an exaggeration, but it's no secret that I've never found him that interesting, whether in his canon game form or the flanderized penis hour mood that Evan Stanley loves to turn him into. But in the distant past, I had frequent encounters with fans who would lash out at me if I said so much as a single negative thing about him. Needless to say, this did not raise my enthusiasm for the character.

Finally, the Freedom Fighters. On their own, they're probably not the worst conceptually, even if Sonic being a member himself doesn't work and goes against his character. But they are so hyped up the ass and touted as being infinitely superior to the game cast that I can't muster any goodwill for them anymore. This only increased after I was reminded of just how often they made massive dick moves in Archie, and how they rarely got called out on it in any meaningful capacity. So even putting their fandom aside, they're kinda hard for me to like anymore.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

Obligatory mention of Black Doom for being the Best Shit Villain, compared to Mephiles and all the other ones who are inexplicably popular. Black Doom was the key to all this, so I'm glad they got him working, cause he's a funnier character than we've ever had. He's stylistically designed to be that way. (Jokes aside, how sad is it that even with my unironic goggles on, there have been so many shit villains in this franchise that Doom isn't even in the top ten worst at this point?)

For a more sincere example, we have Marine. Everyone had a hateboner for her at the time, and some people still do (one of them being Flynn apparently), but I never found her annoying. I understood the development they intended for her, and I thought it was handled decently for the most part. I also scratched my head at the flack she received for her Australian accent and lingo, since I never saw anyone complain about Bunnie and Antoine's stereotypical Texan-ness and French-ness respectively… oh, right, they're Freedom Fighters, so they can get away with it. -_-

Then there's Elise, who was just underdeveloped at worst (that and having a realistic human design, but that wasn't exclusive to her), and did not deserve the vitriol that she ended up getting. As far as non-Blaze princesses go, I actually prefer her over Sally at this point, because Elise doesn't have an extended history of being an unreasonable prick to Sonic for bullshit reasons, and never tried to change him either. That Elise was the one in '06 who got labeled as the worst character of all time, when a literal recolor was standing right there, was one of the early indications to me that this fandom might not always have the most agreeable takes.

She's not outright hated like Elise is (was?), but since she has a similar dynamic with Sonic, I'll mention Shahra as well. I used to think she was a bit bland outside of her relationship with Majin Ganondorf, and I expressed that opinion even quite recently. But in the past month or so, in light of how much I've grown to either hate or be disillusioned with certain other characters, I'm beginning to appreciate her non-abusive partner-related traits a lot more now, and her bond with Sonic is admittedly sweet. The Sonic Likes Tall Girls meme we have going on may have also contributed. Secret Rings is still by no means a game I care much for outside of its villain and some level aesthetics, but Shahra is a good character in retrospect IMO.

And I share your appreciation for Infinite and Zor. I approve of the intent with Infinite's character and think it was handled well despite some rushed aspects, and fail to understand why people single him out for being one-note when this franchise is stacked with one-note villains, and Zor's lines are genuinely hilarious and I will die on that hill. The latter's transformation into Unironic Generic Edgy Guy #6 in IDW was devastating for me. :(

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on…

Actually playing the games.

Eggman being a villain.

Eggman being a competent villain.

Rouge being more than who she is at first glance. As in, someone who is deceptively intelligent, more caring than she lets on, and will ultimately do the right thing despite her jewel thievery hijinks. AKA, not a villain.

The Hard-Boiled Heavies. They were rightly beloved come their debut, but ever since Mania came and went (and not counting their appearance in Seasons of Chaos that I'd prefer to forget), it's like fans collectively forgot about them. I'll say it till the cows come home: they had more personality in a game without dialogue than Sage did in a game with it.

Darkspine Sonic. It does have its fans, but it tends to get overshadowed by the lame as fuck Dark Super Sonic from X, and the equally lame as fuck Fleetway Super Sonic. I may not love Darkspine per say, but as far as dark forms go, I can recognize the thought that was put into it, and I appreciate that it allows Sonic to utilize his feelings in a positive way via keeping his rage focused on the guy who deserves it. This is much more in-tune with Sonic's character than a generic evil form would be, and it also avoids the unhealthy and unrealistic implications that anger, sadness, etc is inherently a bad thing that must be dismissed or concealed at all costs.

The Advance trilogy's soundtracks. Yeah, they get their kudos, but still not enough. >:[ I consider these compressed GBA ditties to be among Sonic's best, and find them more memorable and impactful than many a generic orchestral soundtrack you hear in plenty of games nowadays.

In light of Grass Simulator 2022, Sonic having an actual aesthetic of any sort. Other games did this so well, including CD, the Genesis and Advance trilogies, Mania, SA1, Heroes, Colours, Secret Rings, the Riders games, some of SA2, some of ShtH, even 3D Blast of all games. You can have all the technical graphic detail you want, but in the end, a plain grassy field does not fill me with inspired wonder in the same way as environments like Studiopolis, Night Palace, Red Mountain, Quartz Quadrant, or Twinkle Snow.

#Crusher's Asks #Opinion #Sonic the Hedgehog

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trio-of-chaos · 7 months

Text

//ooc post

RANDOM LORE DROP

Hello everyone. This post is being made cause there are some specific things about Amy's family lore that I don't think I'll be able to bring up in normal posts and stuff.

You guys can either simply act like your character doesn't know any of this or act like they talked about this in one specific day that wasn't posted about here/talked about in text messages and stuff

Well, here we go

tw child neglect, child abuse, drug mention

GRANDPA

Full name: Leonard Garland

Dad of Audrey Garland, Amy's grandpa

his team consisted of:

Nemesis, the Hydreigon

Blondie, the alolan Dugtrio

Teddy, the Bewear

Torch, the Armarouge

Mountain, the Abomasnow

Scuba, the Araquanid

he was an amazing battler with a pretty nice win streak of 143 battles before the incident.

he gave Amy Ness when she was a kid not only to give his granddaughter a pokemon, but to guarantee her the farm, since Ness was the only one who knew where the keys to the farm where besides Leonard himself

his soul still walks around the farm, watching over Amy. Krakatoa is the only who can somehow see him. He helps Amy with her help.

MOTHER

Full name: Audrey Garland

Mother of Amy.

her team consisted of:

Ghost, the Shiinotic

Pendulum, the Hypno

Spark, the Dedenne

Master, the Malamar

she got pregnant in a one night stand and got married to her husband because of that.

she hated Amy a lot for "messing up with her life"

if it wasn't for Leonard, she would have aborted

she would try to kill Amy in a variety of ways, but always trying to make it look like an accident

she would constantly neglect her own child, refuse to do basic stuff for her like feeding, helping her clean her stuff, teach her the basics.

she is a doctor, to be more specific, a cardiologist

she is also the reason Amy hates hospitals, since she would sometimes bring Amy with her. Every time this happened, Audrey would do everything she could to make Amy as scared as she could, making her surgeries as bloody as she could, showing Amy dead patients and forcing her to touch them when no one was looking.

she had a pretty creepy colleague that she'd often ask to take care of Amy. Audrey knew exactly what her colleague was doing to her child. She never cared.

she is still alive

FATHER

last but not least, we have...

wait, what's his name?

he changed it a lot throughout the years, but Amy knew him as Kevin.

his team was:

Coin, the Perrseker

Bank, the Grumpig

Rich, the Gimmighoul

he was a criminal. He'd do anything if you paid him and would sometimes commit crimes himself without the payment.

He killed, robbed, got involved with gangs

he was also addicted to drugs like cocaine and meth

the only reason he married Audrey was because she was rich

that day where they met was the first day they had seen each other

they talked through messages for a long time and he was ready to block her after that, but he didn't after he found out she was a doctor

Audrey knew about his criminal history, but she didn't care

what she didn't know was about his sexual history instead

even after marrying Audrey, Kevin had a simple way of acting. He'd go to other regions for "work", find a woman that looked like she had something for him to steal, use his charms on her, get her to bed, have fun with her, steal her belongings then disappear from her life

this worked well for him until one of this girls ended up being the sister of his main drug dealer. She went to visit her brother as he went there to buy more. She recognized him instantly and her brother shot him as soon as she told him who he was.

He was found dead not long after

his funeral was small, with only Audrey's family minus Amy, since Amy used his death to run away, and his family was unkown

#//ooc post #tw child abuse #tw child neglect #tw drug mention

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star--nymph · 1 year

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Hey! <3 1 for Artemis, 26 for Kass and Blaine, and 42 for Eury (or some combination of those if that's too many!)

Artemis

How does your character think of their father? What do they hate and love about him? What influence - literal or imagined - did the father have?

Ohohohoho. This can of worms you just opened up is hefty, Artemis hates his father. Loathes him. Would and will attempt to run him through if ever sees him again. Seth is a coward in his eyes; a weak shitstain of a man who puffed his medal decorated chest and then was too scared to stick around when his child turned out to be a freak of nature. He abandoned his family--his pregnant wife and child--and it wasn't for their sake, pretending like they were better off with out because of that fear. No, he left because he was just scared and wanted to protect himself. And then he disappeared while his family suffered. Was kidnapped, tortured, shredded, and murdered. Maybe he couldn't have saved them but fuck, if he had stuck around at least it meant he cared. That resentment in Artemis only grew when he become a father--a relatively young one, too. Dolly wasn't a choice, he didn't know about her, and she's an anomaly. She could absolutely end up killing Artemis one day but Artemis doesn't care. Dolly could turn out to be a full blown curse of nature and he still wouldn't leave her. The thought of abandoning her to the world like he was by his father boils Artemis' blood. So yeah, there is an influence there, in that Artemis is going to be everything his father isn't and at the same time everything he fears. He thought his baby boy was a monster? Okay, Dad, he'll give you a monster. In summary:

Kass and Blaine

26. What does your character’s home look like? Personal taste? Clothing? Hair? Appearance?

The Godkiller HQ is a former office building because that's all they could afford at the time. For the most part, it's not a bad place. They gutted one floor for training purposes, a second floor the medbay and the arsenal, a third floor for the interrogation/war room meetings, and then the upper levels are the living areas. The main living area is open concept with the kitchen and living room, loft above that leads to Blaine, Kass, Guest Room (later Asha's room), Amy's room, and Holly's room (which is combined with the surveillance). The living room has a door leading to Ryu's room and another leading to Utah's. There is also bathroom, another guest room, and a random scrap room that's also used for laundry. There is a stair case that leads directly to the roof as well. That's a lot but you asked for a home. As for Kass' personal taste/theme I guess? Kass is all sunset colors. Red, pink, yellows, oranges. Anything bright goes. I'm trying to figure out what in terms of fashion Kass is--cause she's kind of both very edgy rocker chick but also she likes very pretty clothing like dresses and mini skirts. Depending on her mood, she could be in damaged skinny jeans and boots or in a flowy summer dress. What she likes is comfortable above all else but most importantly, she always needs a leather jacket. Kass as a leather jacket for every color and if she doesn't, she'll go hunting for one. She just likes being cute, she likes being sexy, she likes her colors and glitter, she likes being able to move. She wants to feel good in her clothing and I think she's get a boost when she at least looks stylish even if she feels like shit. That said, her look for combat is all black, red, and grey--for good reason. She needs to blend in with her surroundings but her signature bright red jacket and power strips on her armor, braces, and boots key people in that she's not a civilian, but an active combatant. For Blaine, his colors are blues, useless leaning into muted hues or steel blues. He likes his pops of colors too, though. Yellows, greens, whites. I think his look is very casual and kind of loosey? Nice fitted jeans with baggy dress shirts, hoodies, sweaters. He has a lot of shirts that also have patterns too (yes he does have and happily wear Hawaiian shirts). He does that flannel over a graphic t-shirt look (the graphic is like 'local cryptic is my boyfriend', don't question it). Loves a good pair of high rise sneakers or boots. He likes wearing earrings and necklaces too. He also has a couple of bomber jackets and denim jackets. I think I'd call Blaine's entire look very...sleek? Homebody? Nerd? He does look a collar shirt under a sweater. Combat wise, Blaine is a greys and blues. Like Kass, his armor, boots and braces have subtle blue power strips running through to regulate strength and impact. Blaine's combat suit has external padding on the knees and elbows and over all has a close resemblance to a fencing uniform.

Eurydice

42. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?

Freedom. I don't think Eurydice is aware of how much but she hungers for freedom and choice in her life. It's the saddest part of Inquisition because nothing that brought or kept here there was her choice. Eurydice stays as First out of Duty, she leaves for the conclave out of loyalty, she is forced into the position of Herald and the Inquisitor under threat of imprisonment by human hands. She doesn't want any of those positions and for most of her life, she's be forced into a very tight place by the people controlling her. The second she has agency, she doesn't keep the Inquisition. She disbands--she leaves. She hates being Inquisitor. So much of Eury's story is about her chasing freedom and being able to choose things for herself. She chooses to be a witch without a clan, she chooses to marry Cullen, she chooses to be a mother, she choose leave. Someone once told me that Eurydice felt more at home in an AU where she was a Avvar Augur than she ever did as Inquisitor and yeah, that's by design. She chose to be an Augur. Happy Ending in every story with Eurydice? She leaves and travels the world. No one is ever able to find her unless she allows them to. I think of a worse fate for Eurydice than her being chained to the Inquisition and Chantry for the rest of her days--except the fate where she chained to her father. This is why in the Fade her tombstone would read 'Possession': Eurydice doesn't simple fear being possessed by a demon, she fears any form of agency or captivity. She fears being a Tranquil, she fears being trapped in the Circle, she fears that she is an empty, heartless shell of a person like her father says she is. She fears objectification and dehumanization. There is no way out of she doesn't have a choice. And what Eurydice is willing a lot to achieve it? Gnawing her own arm off for one, which kind of feels like what happened in Trespasser anyway? Allowing the chantry to burn? Being exiled and hated by her clan even if she loves them with all her heart? The world? Well yes in the situation where Eurydice becomes a creature of the forest with no connection to anything or anyone besides her animals and her things and her space? Then yeah, the world can burn if it means her freedom? What does she care? The world is loud anyway. Gotta love that sense of self preservation that never goes away.

#writing #Godkiller//Deity #deity oc- artemis #deity oc- kassandra rosales #deity oc- blaine storms #eurydice lavellan #love my self serving Elf so much #she doesn't actually care about the world she cares about her people and sense of exploration more #honestly had she run into Solas as a self isolated witch she'd probably help him #but in a 'I don't care for your cause but sure you give me payment I'll help'#she takes her observer position when she has nothing to keep her tithered to her world #also GOD the Artemis' dad situation is SO FUNNY #cause I don't know to add this but I very much think him having Dolly call him Papa is very much a result of that #cause he called his Dad Daddy so now he's like ew no don't want to ANY relation to that

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amysubmits · 1 year

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Hi Amy!!

I recently had a talk with my partner about all the ways we have grown together in D/s and areas we still want to grow. It made me really emotional (in a good way) to see how far we have come. If you were to do the same with CD, how do you think you’ve grown the most? No worries if you don’t want to answer! Have a good day!

Hey!

Sorry i'm answering this late, I hope you'll still see it. I read it and thought it would be fun to answer but I had a busy day and told myself I'd get to it later and then I forgot about it until a new ask came in and I saw this was still sitting there. 😬

Anyway!

It's so awesome that you and your partner have seen growth and that talking about where you've come from and where you'd like to get later made you emotional in a good way. I love hearing positive d/s stories! I know it's not for everyone for lots of reasons but I'd love to suggest to you (and really everyone with D/s experience 😁) to consider making a tumblr! we could use more voices in the community. :)

To the question part...CD and I do talk about how our D/s has grown sometimes. The biggest area of growth for us has been communication...and that's been true for us for years, but it's because it keeps getting even deeper.

Neither of us had examples of healthy communication growing up but I sort of see our communication growth in several stages...

When we first started D/s, just talking about what we wanted was a big improvement in our communication. We had always talked openly and honestly about everything from our childhoods to our morality and hobbies and whatever...but we had largely avoided talking about our relationship.

Next, we started having meta-talks where we'd share what wasn't working, what changes we wanted to make. This is a lot harder than sharing what we want, so it took longer. It was sporadic early on, but over time, we saw that we could have these conversations and it would stay emotionally safe, so it made it easier to have them more often. This is one that has felt like there have been several steps of improvement over a long period of time.

I might be placing this in an incorrect order chronologically, my memory stinks. But at some point we realized that a big key to making our D/s consistent was through discussing needs day to day. In other words, asking permission on days that I needed to be excused from a rule rather than relying on assumptions.

Also at some point (again probably out of order time wise lol), we got more confident in our roles and in seeing ourselves as D/s. That confidence made it easier to communicate my wants, rather than just my needs. I was too worried about overstepping or 'topping from the bottom' or accidentally taking control early on. I kinda thought that only requesting things from CD if it was really important was a way to ensure that I didn't accidentally top from the bottom. In hindsight, I see that as me actually holding on to control, despite thinking I was avoiding taking control. When I share my wants with him and let him decide, that's showing trust in him and in our dynamic. Holding things in isn't letting him decide.

In the last year or so, we've got to a place where we can talk about anything and everything in the moment. We've been able to talk about hard feelings for years but we both were in the habit of waiting days before discussing the issue, or sometimes we'd wait too long, thinking we could just avid discussing it but then it would keep happening so it would have to come up eventually. We thought we had to delay these conversations to let our emotions settle and to keep the conversations feeling really calm and safe. This last year, we've realized that really isn't necessary, we can talk about things in the moment it reduces our anxiety and it's easier to really remember all the details of what happened and why so it's easier to problem solve.

I feel like I have to be leaving things out but yeah, lots of layers of communication improvement over the years would be my answer. :)

#asks #d/s

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melon-official · 2 years

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hi melon :) (dumps these on your doorstep)

💧, 💀 lily

🗺️,⚡ sunny

🗣️ lily, sunny, amy and daisy

☄️, 🎁 amy

TYSM KELL THESE R SOME HARD HITTERS

💧 What makes your OC lose hope, what makes them give up and feel helpless? Have they ever given up on something really important or let go of a dream? What are some of their biggest regrets? Would they ever try again (if they’re able to)?

lily’s been beaten down and made to feel hopeless countless times in her life. the thing about her is that she always gets back up again, whether or not she has a reason to. she just keeps truckin. i think she could recall quite a few moments in her past that she regrets, most of which have to do with keeping in touch with her friends, but ultimately her misjudgements shaped who she is today and she wouldn’t be the same without those experiences.

💀 Has your OC ever lost anyone to death? Multiple people? People close to them? How does the loss make them feel?

lil lost both of her parents in a traffic accident when she was young, and she has no memory of them. she’s never been riddled with grief over their deaths, but there have been nights in her childhood when she wondered how different her life would’ve been if they had survived.

🗺️ Does your OC like going on adventures? Have they ever discovered something really interesting and significant or are they just too busy getting lost? Where is their favourite place they’ve been? Least favourite?

sunny is an explorer and a trendsetter by nature. she doesn’t follow the beaten path very closely. more interesting than where she’s explored, though, is the time when she didn’t; the week-ish in octo canyon after five left and before the defeat of octavio saw sunny holed up in her room for (probably) the only time in her life.

⚡ What are your OC’s phobias? Is there any reasoning behind these? How do they calm themselves down after getting scared? What are they like when they’re afraid? Is there any chance of them overcoming their fears?

sun harbors an almost comical phobia of squee-gs ever since her disastrous experience in the back alley cleanup kettle. she’ll go to almost any lengths to avoid them. by chance, lily brought home a harmless and malfunctioning squee-g that she fixed up in kamabo, and it’s through this guy that sunny gets over the worst of her fear. eventually.

🗣️ What are the most painful words that can be said to your OC to utterly break them? What are the words that you could tell them to cheer them up? Maybe some advice to give them the boost they need!

for lil this has to do with kamabo trauma. most insults roll off her back pretty easily, but she’ll jump at certain key words that tartar used to command her body. likewise, it’s hard to cheer her up with compliments; distracting her with a story or asking for her help with a small task is much more likely to pull her out of a slump.

sunny’s been known to pick her battles without considering the opinions of her loved ones, and yet she loathes upsetting her loved ones with the consequences of her actions. so she’s most easily torn down by someone she cares about exclaiming over her mistakes. on the flip side, she’s always excited to be chosen for something; inviting her places or surprising her with a favor is a good way to win her over.

i think amy would be thrown off by strangers recognizing her from the domes, cuz she barely remembers her old life at all. that, and prying into her experience in the metro. her favorite kinds of compliments have to do with her attitude towards life or the work she’s put into a project, but she’s too humble to say that out loud.

daisy’s the type to take baseless insults and straight-up lies really personally. it hurts her, and makes her lash out, when she’s treated with dishonesty- especially cuz she’s pretty damn good at figuring out when people are lying to her. trusting her with a secret or something personal is the sign of good friendship and respect to her, and she’s likely to reciprocate that.

☄️ Does your OC believe in fate and destiny or do they think it’s a load of garbage? Would they ever get this fortune told? What would a fortune-teller tell them about their future?

i don’t think amy actually truly believes in destiny- only that she makes her own. she is a sucker for romanticizing life though. she’d definitely get her fortune told.

🎁 What would be the perfect gift to buy your OC? What would be the worst gift? Are they themselves any good at gifting things or are they really indescisive? How do they wrap their presents?

ames is definitely the kind of person to bring her friends all kinds of small gifts cuz she saw something that reminded her of them. she’d get creative with gift packaging too. as a gift recipient, she’s much more partial to art supplies or cute things than something more mechanical or bulky.

#my ocs #lily #sunny #daisy #amy #thanks for the ask

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amateurd18 · 1 year

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Hii Ami!! Secret Santa here!! Happy Friday!! May your weekend be a long and restful one!! ✨

It was your friends birthday? Well, happy late birthday to them!! 🥳✨ you can never go wrong with Mexican food!!

Ooooo, you’re studying in Madrid? That’s so cool!! What are you studying, if you don’t mind me asking? I had a close friend study abroad in Spain for a semester and absolutely loved it there!! I totally feel you about wanting to move to London!! It sounds like a pretty nice place to live based on the things I hear about it. I remember when I was studying abroad, my friends and I planned our spring break trip to the UK for five days, but due to COVID, we got pulled from our program before we were even able to step foot on the plane there. So I still have that desire to visit the UK for that reason alone lol.

Same here!! I love sweet things, to an extent!! I don’t eat as much surgery things as I did when I was younger!! But when I do, cheesecake is the key to my heart!! Lol.

Thank you!! As of right now, all the owls are packed away from when I decorated my apartment for Christmas. After we introduce ourselves properly, I can definitely send you some photos of my prized ones!! They range from very tiny figures to relatively large ones!! I’m pretty proud of it!!

Lego does count as a collection item lol!! They’re so cool!! I really like the aspect of having to build them (that’s pretty obviously lol, but it truly is therapeutic in a sense!!). Hopefully one day, you can start that collection!! Is there one particular Lego set you would love to have?

Speed Round Answers: Movie/TV Shows? I wasn’t sure if you were asking if I preferred movies or tv shows lol?! I’d probably say tv shows because you can learn more about the characters and their stories through the lens of a series rather than their one dimensional aspects cut short for a movie!! Some of the most recent tv shows I’ve watched are Heartstopper, Young Royals, Wednesday (Netflix cancelled this show after the first season, and I will never forgive them for it!! It’s called The Society and I definitely recommend it if you haven’t watched it already!!) I’ve been rewatching a kids show named Chowder on Hulu for the nostalgia factor lol. Movies/books? Hmmmm… I like books, but I can appreciate a good movie!! I’d say the best book I read this year has been One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston. I highly recommend it!! Who doesn’t love sci-fi lesbian strangers to lovers!!!? Fav. season? The transitional period between summer and fall!! To me, that’s just the perfect weather!! Not too hot or humid, yet not too cold!! Beaches/Mountains? I’d probably live by the beach because I went to college up in the mountains and when it gets cold, it gets cold!!! I’ll risk living around the sand than anything else. City/countryside? I’ve always lived relatively close to the city, but I think it would be nice to get away from it all. Have my own home in a nice large area. But not too big that someone could be living in my home and I wouldn’t know it lol.

Here are more speed round questions, my dear!! Do you have a favorite piece(s) of comfort clothing? (Sweater? T-shirt? Shoes?) What are three things you know you can’t live without? Do you play/enjoy any games (whether that be video games, board games, card games, etc). 🎄✨

Helloo! How is your weekend going? Mine's been fab yay!

I'm doing a dual master - an MBA with a master in business analytics. Why I chose insanity is still unclear, but oh well. It's been hectic but good so no complaints.

I'm so sad that you missed London coz of covid, but here's hoping you can make it there soon. ✨

As far as the Lego goes, i have a long-ass list of very random ones i want. So in no particular order- the entire city collection, the Harry Potter castle, the life-size r2d2 from star wars and the formula 1 Ferrari cars. Is it obvious yet that i love really random stuff? 😂

I love your speed round answers, and I'm putting one last stop on my Christmas read list. Fav clothing: nothing specific, just track pants and a tee / shorts if it's summer. Jeans if i need to be presentable. Three things i can't live without: ooh that's hard. My phone, an internet connection and my earphones. I love board games! Monopoly is a household favourite, as is Uno when we're traveling. Do you have a favourite board game?

More questions: I'm assuming you speak Spanish, but any other languages you speak or want to learn? Do you have celeb crushes? Comfort movie that you'd watch at any point? Do you have a favourite Christmas food?

#anon asks #secret santa #holiday pals

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astrowitch · 2 years

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Les Amis de l’ABC: Astrology

I am so excited to present my newest astrology post! Last summer, I read Les Misérables by Victor Hugo and became enamored with Les Amis de l’ABC, so I wanted to sort their sun, moon, and rising signs just for fun. These are all based on my own interpretations of the characters.

Enjolras

Sun: Leo - I honestly couldn’t picture our bold and awe-inspiring leader as any other sign. He is driven by passion and idealism, two key traits of people born under the lion sign. Enjolras has a charismatic and magnetizing personality that is able to draw even the least inspired people in and give them a reason to believe.

Moon: Aquarius - This was another obvious choice, seeing as lunar Aquarians have a distinct sense of social justice and a strong set of values. They are willing to set aside their own feelings for the good of others and focus greatly on progress. This is clearly seen in Enjolras, as he is consistently trying to better society rather than busying himself in his own more selfish desires (ie: romance).

Rising: Libra - Enjolras is described to be extremely handsome and aesthetically pleasing. He has an ironically godlike aura about him. When one gazes upon him, they could probably tell right off the bat that he is a great believer in humanitarianism. His beauty captivates the people he encounters, and it can sometimes cause them to underestimate him.

Grantaire

Sun: Taurus - This is another glaringly obvious answer to me. Grantaire has a strong passion for physical pleasure and beauty, hence why he was a student of Gros and regularly indulges in activities like drinking. Being an Earth sign, people under the sign of Taurus see things with a sense of realism and practicality (although what Grantaire sees as ‘realism’ may come off to others as cynicism).

Moon: Cancer - Ok hear me out on this one, PLEASE. We all know how truly complex Grantaire is as a character, and I personally view him as one of the most emotional in the story. Not because he outwardly expresses vulnerability, but because of what we know about him as a character. He’s in love with Enjolras beyond words. Enjolras is the only thing Grantaire believes in, he is fueled by this emotion of love towards another. We watch him desperately try to get Enjolras to pay him the slightest bit of attention, whether positive or negative. Down to his core, Grantaire puts his whole strength into loving another person, and I think his inner feelings perfectly reflect a Lunar Cancerian.

Rising: Taurus - Grantaire’s overt stubbornness and devotion already gives him the outward appearance of a Taurus. He isn’t shy about his indulgences nor about his desire to be loved.

Jean “Jehan” Prouvaire

Sun: Cancer - What better sign for Jehan than the imaginative and gentle Cancer? Jehan is in tune to the emotions of himself and other people, making him highly intuitive. His waxing poetics make him a particularly pleasant person to be around. One thing about Jehan that gets overshadowed by his fascination with the arts is his deep sense of loyalty. To the very end, Jehan was there for his friends and proved himself to be protective over his band of brothers.

Moon: Pisces - Lunar Pisceans are creative individuals who love to share their knowledge with others. Jehan frequently speaks of his knowledge of things like poetry and mythology in excitement. He finds inherent value in things like the arts and philosophy and can get easily emotional.

Rising: Pisces - And I return to the sign of the fish with Jehan’s rising sign. Jehan comes across as a very dreamy soul with a bit of quirkiness to him. He is unapologetically himself and loves to express his individuality.

Combeferre

Sun: Aquarius - Combeferre is an innovative and philosophical man who isn’t afraid to let his eccentricities shine through. I think Combeferre’s nerdy persona can sometimes overshadow his dedication to bettering the world. Aquarians are a revolutionary sign, and they strive for a progressive, open society. Their natural states are helping others and thinking deeply.

Moon: Virgo - Combeferre is clearly a perfectionist, seeing as he would correct the French dictionary for fun. Lunar Virgos feel like it is their duty to be analytical, perceptive, and nurturing. They love to feel in control of their surroundings. Combeferre isn’t necessarily controlling, but he instinctually loves to be of service to people. This shows through his love of studying medicine and how he died on the barricade helping others.

Rising: Capricorn - Combeferre appears to be a quiet, ambitious man. I feel like anybody who associates with Enjolras as closely as Combeferre does probably has a determined spark to them. The most important thing though is how obviously intelligent he is. Capricorns value intelligence highly, and Combeferre is a big supporter of education for all.

Courfeyrac

Sun: Sagittarius - Warm and jubilant Courfeyrac just screams Sagittarius to me. Not only is he passionate, but he clearly values freedom and expression. He likes to dress well, be with his friends, and make new friends. He’s optimistic, fun, and likes to make jokes in situations that are serious to cope.

Moon: Gemini - I think Courfeyrac is a lunar Gemini because of his need for fun and new experiences. I interpret him to be quite curious because of how quickly he is to welcome his home to Marius and share ideas with him. Courfeyrac is a natural-born communicator, and his amazing skills with people just reaffirm his lunar placement in my mind.

Rising: Leo - Courfeyrac’s bold and big demeanor would lead anyone to assume that he was a Leo. I imagine that Courfeyrac would be the type of person to over-gesticulate and speak in a loud tone. He just has this strong passion that any fire sign encapsulates.

Joly

Sun: Virgo - Practical and pragmatic Joly is the epitome of a Virgo. Although he is anxious and definitely a perfectionist, he uses these parts of himself to help others. He, along with his other revolutionaries, has a desire to improve the world. Being a medical student, I could picture Joly as being the type of person to say “Guys, I know this sounds wild, but what if we washed our hands?” and he'd get written off as some eccentric, weird scientist. I just see him as a very logical and driven person, and Virgo is the epitome of those traits.

Moon: Sagittarius - While this may seem out of left field for the anxious Joly, I don’t think it is. Joly may be prone to panic, but he also knows how to have fun. Not only is he exceedingly optimistic, but being around the people he loves (Bossuet and Musichetta) helps bring out a more outgoing side of him. Joly genuinely enjoys being drinking buddies with Grantaire and Bossuet! I think once he’s able to be coaxed out of his nervous shell, he’s able to break free and live life fully.

Rising: Cancer - I feel as though Joly comes across as the “Mom Friend” with the way he frets over himself and others. He’s exceedingly caring and I think he likes to be that way, hence him going into med school. Cancer’s reputation for being the ultimate caregiver of the zodiac just suits Joly’s outer appearance well.

Bossuet

Sun: Libra - I’m gonna be honest here, I chose Libra because Bossuet reminds me VIVIDLY of my friend who’s a Libra. Furthermore, I think Bossuet is an all around pleasant person. He seems to be very even-tempered and optimistic, no matter how unlucky he is. Continuing on his unluckiness, this doesn’t prohibit his sociability. Bossuet comes across as charming and well-liked. He just seems like the type of person who literally everyone would love because of how easily he gets along with people.

Moon: Leo - As I come farther and farther along into these, it gets harder to clarify my choices with textual evidence because of how minor these characters are in the grand scheme of Les Mis, this is just becoming personal headcanon material. Anyway, I think Bossuet is very happy-go-lucky and (as I said before) charming. I imagine Bossuet to be spirited and jovial, which makes him great for Joly. Bossuet is able to help get Joly out of his shell, and I think it would take a persuasive and friendly person to do that.

Rising: Sagittarius - Bossuet, in my opinion, is probably quite a carefree person. Yes, he may be unlucky and clumsy, but he could not care less! He lives freely and authentically, and he makes everything ten times more interesting.

Feuilly

Sun: Capricorn - Feuilly is the epitome of a Capricorn. He is generous, hard-working, and mature. He’s extremely ambitious and puts all of himself into everything he does, which earns him the respect of Enjolras. Feuilly is a believer in effort, and I assume that that would make him very dedicated and reliable. I think that some of the Amis would go to him when they have problems, seeing as he’s the oldest in the group, and therefore the most “experienced”. Feuilly would probably give the best advice.

Moon: Aries - Although Feuilly is mature and collected, I think he’s got some fire underneath. He has gone through so much and only seems to get stronger through it all because of his determination to succeed. Whereas Grantaire goes into bouts of deep melancholy, Feuilly takes every hurdle life gives as a new challenge to overcome. His passion drives him to join Les Amis in the first place, and I believe that he has the ability to think boldly and outside of the box.

Rising: Virgo - Feuilly comes across as a perfectionist who has a masterful ability to solve problems. I think that he’s a detail-oriented, logical guy who is always willing to help out, no matter who the person is.

Bahorel

Sun: Aries - This is SUCH an obvious one to me. Bahorel is bold, brave, and direct. He literally boxes for fun, he is the embodiment of the fiery Aries. I can see Bahorel being the most loyal friend you could ever have. He would literally be the guard dog for Les Amis. You mess with one of those guys, you’re messing with Bahorel too. I see him as a person who lives life to the absolute fullest and doesn’t really dwell too much on the past. As intimidating and intense as he is, this guy will be your ride or die.

Moon: Scorpio - I wanted to throw in a curveball. Something unexpected. Bahorel’s protectiveness of the ones he loves runs deep within him. I think that for the most part, Bahorel’s emotions are a mystery to Les Amis. He presents himself as this super tough guy on the outside, but on the inside, I think he’s a more sensitive soul. People underestimate his ability to observe situations. He may be impulsive, but he’s an expert at spotting when something’s up because of how much he cares for his friends.

Rising: Aries - His sun and rising match because I truly think Bahorel is so heavily Aries. It’s not hard to spot that he’s opinionated, boisterous, and lively. He brings the party wherever he goes. I think people gravitate towards him because of how naturally confident he is. It makes people want to be around him more.

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charzard-lord · 2 years

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You’re The Mystery I Need To Solve (Doctor/Reader) Part Five

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: Drama, angst, slight fluff, language

Key: 🎭💣😋❤☂️

Pairings: Eleventh Doctor/Reader, eventual Tenth Doctor/Reader

Summary: You've had several dreams about a madman with a box and when you finally meet him in real life, you realize that something is very wrong. For some reason, the TARDIS doesn't react well around you. In fact, it seems to completely stop working and turns into a regular police box. The Doctor is terrified yet fascinated, and completely determined to solve this mystery.

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five (you are here) - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight

A/N: I’m almost done writing this series! I’m very excited about it and I can’t wait for you all to see how this story ends! Also, I have decided to close my requests for now because life has been kicking my ass and I just don’t have the capacity for it. I love getting requests, don’t get me wrong, I’m just at a point in my life where it’s too much right now. I will work on the two that were sent to me but after that I will not be taking any more requests for the time being. I would like to open them again in the future, but for now I can’t. I hope you enjoy this part of the story!

You all make your way back down the spiraling staircase and out of the TARDIS to find that almost no time has passed at all. Your cart of groceries is still there, all the frozen foods still frozen and the milk still cold. You agree to meet the Doctor at your house and get in your car, pulling out of the parking lot.

Part of you is afraid he won’t show up, but by the time you get to your house, he’s already waiting in your backyard. You let out a sigh of relief upon seeing him, grateful that he’s finally willing to work with you.

The next few days are spent running extensive tests, while the Doctor attempts to diagnose your condition. Unsurprisingly, he finds a few strange things.

First, you seem to be in a state of flux. Sometimes he’ll be able to get a reading from you and other times, you don’t exist to his scanners.

Second, you have an insane amount of power surging through your veins. Enough to punch a hole in the universe. Enough to kill you. So how are you alive? And how did you get this power?

“Aha! I think I’ve got it! Well, sort of,” the Doctor exclaims, running into the kitchen where you and Amy are sitting, enjoying a nice cup of tea. The Doctor paces around the room, moving his hands animatedly as he speaks.

“It seems you have a mix of a few different… abilities. Well, a lot of abilities. I didn’t even think something like this was possible! But look at you! Here you are, achieving the impossible!” he gestures to you wildly and you can’t help but smile at his antics.

“So from what I’ve concluded so far, you possess a unique combination of Quintessence Force, Dynamokinesis, Spatiokinesis, Cosmokinesis, Exotic Matter Manipulation, and Space-Time Manipulation,” he looks at you, a proud and electrified grin on his face, as if he expects you to understand anything he just said.

“And that means…?” you drawl, silently asking him to fill in the blanks. You think you see a flash of disappointment on his face, but it passes so quickly, you can’t be sure.

“Well, you possess a unique form of electrical and life energy along with the ability to control and create matter that defies the laws of science! On top of that, you seem to be able to manipulate time, space, and any existing energy,” he’s talking so fast, but you think you have an idea of what he means.

“So, basically, I have the power to shape reality?” you look to him for confirmation and his eyes light up.

“Exactly! Well, not exactly, but basically, yes,” he looks at you for a moment and seems to realize something, “Wow, you’re fast. And clever. So very, very clever,” he jumps up and kisses the top of your head with a huge smile before retreating back to your living room.

You feel yourself puff up in pride. He called you clever. Coming from him, that’s a massive compliment.

“Now, time for some experiments!” the Doctor comes running back into the room and grabs your hand, pulling you out into the backyard with him.

Over the course of the next few hours, the Doctor conducts multiple trials to get a gauge on your powers. You find that visualization is a key part of the process. The more familiar you are with something, the easier it is to manifest.

After a while, Amy suggests that if you knew what the TARDIS was supposed to look like, you might be able to manifest it. You and the Doctor both agree to try it out and he gives her a pair of glasses to wear that apparently have a camera attached so you can see whatever the wearer sees.

“Just move slowly, okay?” the Doctor says as he fixes the glasses on Amy’s face. She rolls her eyes and nods before going outside. The Doctor pulls you toward the living room where he has connected the glasses to your computer, so you can see what Amy sees.

“You ready yet?” Amy says, tapping her foot impatiently.

“Almost,” the Doctor presses a few more buttons before shouting “aha!” and telling Amy to go ahead into the TARDIS. She does and you audibly gasp upon seeing what it’s supposed to look like.

“It’s beautiful,” you say, completely transfixed by the colors and design. You fail to notice the way the Doctor looks at you, awe and longing evident in his gaze.

“Right, um Amy, go up to the console,” the Doctor instructs. Amy follows his commands and gives you a good look at every angle of the console. It’s very whimsical, with a typewriter, a bell, an old phone, and many other fun little trinkets. It suits him, you think.

Once you’ve gotten the full tour of the console room, you decide to try going in for yourself. Your stomach is doing flips as you make your way to the backyard. A million thoughts race through your mind. What if it doesn’t work? What if you make it worse? What if-

“You’ll be okay,” the Doctor says, grabbing your hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. You smile at him, grateful for the distraction. He returns the gesture and releases you, letting you take the final steps toward the TARDIS.

Slowly, you approach the doors. You briefly glance over your shoulder at Amy and the Doctor, who give you a thumbs up, before turning back around and taking a deep breath. It’s now or never.

You do your best to visualize the interior, trying to remember everything you saw. You reach out to the TARDIS and you swear you feel her hum in approval. This gives you a burst of confidence, and finally, you open the doors.

You hadn’t realized you’d closed your eyes until you see the warm glow behind your lids. When you open them, you are overwhelmed with so many emotions that tears start to spill down your cheeks. Joy, melancholy, comfort, grief, and so many others you can’t name flow through you as you take the first step inside.

The TARDIS seems to respond to your touch, humming in what seems like contentment. In a way, it’s almost like she’s… talking to you. Not with words, but with something much deeper, much more visceral.

“I think she likes you,” you turn quickly at the sound of the Doctor’s voice. You hadn’t realized that he followed you.

The Doctor is looking at you with a softness you never would’ve expected from him. Heat rises to your cheeks and you find yourself looking away. You walk up to the console and fiddle with things mindlessly, trying to avoid the Doctor’s gaze. What is this feeling?

“You did it!” Amy exclaims, running into the TARDIS and pulling you into a hug. You laugh and return the gesture. She’s become a good friend over these last few days. The way you two can talk makes you feel like you’ve known each other for years.

“So, what now?” she says after releasing you. She turns to the Doctor and grins before adding on, “I think our friend here deserves at least one trip, don’t you?”

Before the Doctor has a chance to respond, you hear a loud banging noise come from inside your house. Without thinking, you run back into your living room, just in time to see the front door splintering from the pressure of something heavy being slammed into it. For a moment, you’re frozen in place, unable to do anything.

The Doctor and Amy quickly rush in after you, coming to your side just as the door completely caves in. What you assume to be soldiers, come marching in, although they’re dressed rather oddly. And they seem a bit small. Child soldiers? How cruel, you think, before the Doctor is tugging at your hand.

“Give us the anomaly,” you hear a distorted voice speak before you’re being dragged out of your house and into the TARDIS.

“Who were they?” Amy asks, giving voice to your thoughts as the Doctor rushes around the console, presumably to get you all out of there. Those people didn’t seem very friendly.

“No one good. We’ve got to get as far away as possible,” he says, confirming some of your suspicions.

“They were after me,” you say, and the look on the Doctor’s face is the only answer you need.

“I promise I’ll explain, but first, we need to leave,” the Doctor says before pulling one final lever that sends you flying into space.

< Previous Part - Next Part >

#eleventh doctor x reader #doctor who #doctor who x reader #eleventh doctor #11th doctor #11th doctor x reader #fanfiction #reader insert #angst #drama #eventual romance #gender neutral reader #original work

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bloodybigshiplucille · 2 years

Text

Shame To My Name

Chapter 5: His Pain

For some reason almost everybody was stupid enough to agree to follow along Dad’s suicide mission. Everybody except for the Morales family. They decided they wouldn’t take the risk and rather head for Birmingham where they have family. It’s harder seeing them go than I expected. After losing Amy and Ed last night saying goodbye got ten times worse. Nevertheless we all started packing our stuff, we took down the tents and stuffed everything into the cars. The cars are literally about to burst apart.

„How are (y/n) and me meant to fit in the back with all that crap?“ Carl starts cursing. While Mom is scolding him for his language I have to suppress a smile. What does Mom expect since we live with Shane, T-Dog and the two Dixons. However, he’s right. The rear seat is filled with bags, a suitcase and even some pans.

„You guys can cuddle up a little, can’t you?“ Dad laughs trying to squeeze some more luggage into the trunk.

„(Y/n) can drive with me,“ I hear a rough voice from behind. Daryl is leaning against his pickup looking over at us.

„Oh, thank you, Daryl,“ Mom says irritated. „Maybe I can drive with Daryl so (y/n) can stay with you and Carl,“ Mom says only loud enough for Dad and me to hear.

„No, it’s fine,“ I interrupt her quickly, glad having found an escape from a family road trip. I grab my backpack and start heading for Daryl’s pickup. „Thanks, Daryl,“ I walk past him and open up the passenger side. I make myself as comfortable as possible in the seat and wait for our journey to begin. I was hoping to get Daryl alone anyway. I kinda want to talk to him about the evening at the campfire but then on the other hand I also wouldn’t mind hushing the incident up altogether. However, I feel like we need to talk about… something. I can’t get the evening out of my head. I can’t stop thinking about how easy it felt to open up to him, how easy he was being around. How all my worries of the day were completely paused. I want to feel this connection again. I also want to talk to him about Merle. I couldn’t have been the only one to notice that the men didn’t return with Merle last night. However, I feel like I am the only one who cares. Of course the group is also mourning Amy and Ed, well, mainly Amy, but they’re forgetting that one of us is mourning a brother, too. Seeing Daryl so broken last night broke something inside of me as well.

I observe Daryl and Dad through the windshield. They’re absorbed in their conversation and while Daryl is looking like he would rather face a herd of walkers in his underwear than keeping the conversation up for another minute, Dad keeps him in place with a stern hand on his shoulder. Before Dad lets Daryl go he’s nodding towards the pickup I’m in. What the hell are they talking about?

Without a word Daryl jumps into the drivers seat. Despite me fully staring at Daryl he doesn’t even acknowledge me when he puts the key in the ignition and starts the motor. This is gonna be an interesting drive.

I’m giving my absolute best to start a casual conversation, hell I’m that desperate for smalltalk I’m even talking about the fucking weather. Like the Georgia heat hasn’t been the same for days. Daryl just keeps on staring at the road gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles go white. The only responses I get out of him are occasional grunts and if I’m really lucky a nod of his head. How was I able to have a full on conversation with that man mere hours ago and now he’s acting like I’m not in fact sitting right next to him. Extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures.

I fully turn my body towards Daryl and finally ask the one question that’s been burning in the back of my head: „Is Merle dead?“

While I thought it was impossible to be more tensed Daryl’s entire body got even stiffer. His eyes start twitching while still concentrating on the road ahead. When a strained sigh slips from him he bites his lips so hard I’m afraid he’ll start bleeding.

„Daryl, talk to me…“ „He ain’t dead, okay?“ He suddenly shouts. „Your dad might believe so but I know him. He’s a tough motherfucker, he’s not dead.“

His eyes are once again filled with rage and even though it intimidated the shit out of me when we sat by the fire I’m not letting him take the upper-hand again.

„Why does Dad believe Merle’s dead?“

„Found his hand.“ Wait, what?

„You found what?“ I stare at him in disbelieve.

„We went on the roof where T-Dog handcuffed him. His hand’s all we found. Merle was gone,“ Daryl explains a bit calmer. No wonder Daryl keeps on lashing out. If I found a body part of Carl’s without the rest of him attached you could check me into a psychiatry.

„We’d have found him if he was dead. He got away, (y/n). I’m telling you, he got away.“ As I look over I see Daryl’s eyes slightly wet. He quickly wipes his hand over his face to hide the evidence of his emotions „He’s not dead,“ he repeats hoarsely.

„Then he’s not dead,“ I gently put a hand on his right shoulder just to see how he reacts on physical touch. Though he flinches for a second he doesn’t shake me off.

An hour later we spot our destination. Daryl and I spent the rest of the drive mainly in silence. However, the silence wasn’t uncomfortable anymore. I didn’t try to force any more profound conversations so we mainly co-existed peacefully. It was actually kinda nice and his presence once again lets an unknown sense of calmness flow all trough my body. At some point I drew my hand back from Daryl’s shoulder. I expected him to not even notice it but his eyes followed my hand back into my lap. His brow twitched slightly in protest like he has gotten irritated by the absence of my hand. I contemplated returning it to its former place on Daryl’s strong arm but I decided against it. I may have just imagined the protest in his look. Maybe he was actually glad to finally get rid of my sweaty palm and he only didn’t reject me out of decency.

Dale stops the RV in front of a roadblock.The scenery behind it is making my blood run cold in my veins, even after seeing literal zombies eating up loved ones. What must have used to be a town square resembles a graveyard now. Miles of concrete are covered in dead bodies, blood, gore and remains of what used to be ordinary people like you and I. Seeing a body isn’t even shocking anymore, kinda became day to day life at this point, but thinking about what died along with them still gets to me every time. Their stories, their families, mothers, fathers, siblings, their futures, … all of it erased through a fucking bite. That’s so fucked up.

Behind the walker graveyard though, the skyscrapers are still standing tall and upright just like there’s still people working in those offices and families still having dinner in their homes. And right between the life we used to know and the hell we’re living right now is the building of the CDC. As soon as I open the car door the most rotten smell I have ever witnessed is hitting me. If a walker won’t kill me right now I’m sure the smell of death will. I start choking on the stench and I begin to cough.

„Here, hold it in front of your nose,“ Daryl appears next to me and hands me a brown bandana.

„Thank you,“ I accept it hoarsely and hold it against my nose.

Our group follows Dad’s lead across the field of bodies. The stench is so extreme it’s almost mind numbing so I inhale the scent of the bandana deeply. It certainly doesn’t smell like clean laundry, however it does have a specific inherent odour. An inherent odour that is so typically Daryl Dixon. It smells like wood and fire, like smoke from a cigarette, like spending your days outside and falling asleep underneath the stars. It’s musky and warm. Just like its owner… once he stops pretending to be an asshole all the time.

We finally reach the gates to the CDC. They’re locked. Shit. Shane and Dad are throwing themselves against the roller shutters like they weren’t meant to keep anything and anybody outside who isn’t entitled.

„There’s nobody here,“ T-Dog words exactly what we’re all thinking.

„Then why are the shutters down?“ Dad continues kicking against the doors.

„Rick, this is a dead end!“ Shane gets progressively louder the more frustrated he gets.

„We’re not supposed to be in the city after dark,“ Mom tells Dad reproachful.

„Rick, Fort Benning is still an option,“ Shane tries convincing my father again.

„Then what?“ Andrea asks. „We got no fuel, no food, that’s 100 miles!“

„Forget Fort Benning, we need a solution for tonight. Now!“ Mom glares hysterically at both Dad and Shane.

„We’ll think of something!“ Dad reassures her furiously.

„We gotta leave, now!“ Honestly, it was a shit idea and I picked the side of the shit idea. What did we expect? And entire laboratory filled with scientist that would welcome us with open arms and openly present us with the cure for the apocalypse?

„The camera!“ Dad suddenly shouts. „It moved!“ I look up above the gates and indeed see an oval-shaped white camera. It doesn’t move an inch. I don’t know whether Dad’s hallucinating out of hope or if he’s been attached to analgesics for too long.

„It’s an automatic device, it’s dead, Rick! Let it go!“ Shane tries pushing Dad away from the roller shutters but Dad struggles against Shane. „Let it go, man!“

„Rick, there’s nobody here!“ Now Mom starts losing her shit completely. She’s screaming at Dad like a maniac but Dad doesn’t even hear her.

„I know you’re in there, I know you are!“ Dad shouts at the shutters, at nobody at all. „I know you can hear me. We’re desperate. Please, help us. We have children, no food, hardly andy gas left. We have nowhere else to go,“ Dad is preaching like crazy while Mom is physically trying to shove him away from the building and back to the cars but to no success. „If you don’t let us in we’re all gonna die. Please!“ He keeps on screaming while fighting Shane, Mom and now even Daryl of himself.

„Dad! Stop!“ I chime in, begging him to stop fighting and accepting his defeat.

„You’re killing us! You’re killing us!“ Dad continues like a broken record, tears of rage are streaming hotly over his face. I look over at Carl who looks absolutely terrified. His dad is his hero, his role model. Seeing him completely unhinged puts a dagger right through his heart. I run over to my little brother, throw my arms around him and block his view from our father.

„Carl, look at me,“ I’m trying to soothe him but he keeps on staring at Dad with tears in his eyes. I take his face between my hands and make him look at me instead. „This is not Dad right now. You know him. Don’t you dare letting this scare you know. He’d never be like that with you, okay?“ I don't even know if I believe my own words but I desperately hope my brother does.

„Okay,“ Carl chokes on his tears and buries his head in my neck.

Out of nowhere a loud, indefinable noise silences the screams of the group. I turn around and get greeted my a bright light. The gates to the CDC have opened.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/37750531/chapters/94753390

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 6

#the walking dead #the walking dead fanfiction #twd #daryl dixon x female reader #daryl dixon x reader #twd daryl #daryl dixon #rick grimes x daughter reader #original female character

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massivedrickhead · 3 years

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Bechloe Week 2021 - Day 2

July 27th: Bed sharing/one bed

Read on AO3

Fun fact - everything I’ve written/will write for Bechloe week this year are all part of the same universe, but they won’t be posted in chronological order. So at the end of the week I’ll probably put something up with a list of the prompts in chronological order :)

Beca was pretty sure that sharing a bed with Chloe Beale was simultaneously the worst and best thing that had ever happened to her.

It was almost unbearable to be that close to her without being able to touch her in the way she really wanted to.

Strike that.

It was unbearable.

But Beca couldn’t sleep any other way.

On those occasions when Chloe would sleep elsewhere, Beca would find herself unable to drop off.

She’d be up most of the night tossing and turning, unable to get comfortable, unable to shut her mind off.

It was as if Chloe’s mere presence could calm Beca in a way that nothing else could.

And then they would have these moments of complete vulnerability late at night.

Chloe would reach out with a featherlight touch and run a hand through Beca’s hair. So gentle that sometimes Beca thought she was imagining it.

“Bec?”

“Hmm?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“M’kay.”

Beca would roll over, still practically asleep, and lift her arm, allowing Chloe to either scoot back into her - making Beca the big spoon - or for her to rest her head on her chest.

Beca was usually already asleep by the time Chloe had gotten into a comfortable position, but she always seemed to register the soft “thanks,” that Chloe would whisper.

On those nights when it was Beca’s turn to be comforted, Chloe seemed to always know without Beca having to ask.

Logically, Beca knew it was probably down to the fact that Beca tossed and turned more, or played on her phone for longer, that tipped Chloe off, but she liked to think that Chloe just… knew.

“What do you need?” Chloe would ask, her voice quiet and thick with sleep.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Can you do the hair thing?”

“Mhm.”

Chloe would then lie on her side and gently run her hands through Beca’s hair, her nails lightly scratching her scalp.

Her other hand would rest on Beca’s side or stomach - depending on if she was on her back or side - and her thumb would sweep gently back and forth.

In the daylight, neither would mention these moments. They’d usually wake up back on their respective sides, and if they didn’t whoever woke up first would pull away and climb out of bed - usually waking the other in the process.

And while these moments were nothing short of tortuous for Beca, they were still the favourite part of her day.

Because at two or three in the morning, nothing else matters. There are no distractions. No texts or emails to answer. No potential to be interrupted. Nowhere they needed to be.

They could just exist in the quiet together. Their bed was an island in the room. They could ask questions that, in the cold light of day, could be forgotten or ignored. They could share secrets or confess insecurities that neither would at any other time of day.

“Bec, do you believe in soulmates?”

“I don’t know. I think so. Do you?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

“If I hadn’t kissed Jesse, do you think things would be different?”

“Different how?”

“I don’t know. Just different. I dated him throughout all of college, maybe I missed experiencing some things?”

“Do you regret dating him so long?”

“No. I don’t think so.”

“Chlo’?”

“‘Yeah?”

“What if I don’t make it as a producer? What if I’m not good enough?”

“You’re the most talented person I know. You’ll make it.”

Over the years of being best friends with Chloe, she’d always had a crush on her. It had been a harmless thing really, she assumed everyone had a crush on Chloe.

Especially after a drunken confession to Aubrey had caused the blonde to let out a snort of laughter and say “girl, same.”

But this last year or so that they’d spent sharing a bed - sharing more of themselves with each other than they’d ever done before - Beca had fallen hard and fast and completely in love with Chloe.

Which, let’s be honest, wasn’t an ideal situation. Especially considering that, about three weeks ago, Chloe had started dating Chicago.

“He rescued us from the Med, Beca. I think I owe him a date.”

“Technically Amy and I rescued you. He turned up after the hard bit was done.”

Wearing a new dress and her highest heels, Chloe had thrown Beca a wink and said “don’t wait up!” as she left their apartment to meet him for the third time this week.

Once the door closed, Beca flopped back dramatically on the bed and let out a groan.

“You know you could tell her!” Amy called from her bedroom. “Actually, ignore that, that’s a bad idea. If she turned you down it would make our living situation way more awkward.”

“When not if,” Beca said, miserably. “Have you seen the abs on Shit-ago?”

(Yes, her nickname for Chicago was unnecessarily mean and childish, but give her a break.)

“If Chloe hadn’t accepted the date I would have climbed him like a tree,” Amy said.

“You could save me a lot of pain if you’d use those millions of dollars you have to move out so I could at least have my own room,” Beca said.

Amy left her room and was also looking dressed up for a night out.

“I’m doing you a favour captain,” Amy said. “If I move out you’ll have no excuse to share a bed anymore, and I know you can’t sleep without her. Besides, when she eventually moves in with Chicago, you won’t be able to afford the rent on your own.”

“Please don’t use his real name, it humanises him,” Beca said. “And what makes you think she’d move in with him? Has she said anything?”

“Not specifically, no. But things are obviously going well between them. It’s not out of the realm of possibility that Chloe has found ‘the one’,” Amy said. “So, you know, if you’re going to make a confession of love, time’s ticking.” She checked her phone. “I gotta go. If you are going to comfort eat please leave my Ben & Jerry’s out of it.”

“I make no promises,” Beca said.

“Hmm, due to your pathetic state, I’ll let you off. See you tomorrow!”

Beca spent the remainder of her night feeling sorry for herself, and making some truly self-indulgent mixes.

There were so many songs about unrequited love that Beca was never short of material, and when she finished she saved them in a hidden password-protected so no-one else could even accidentally listen to them.

No, these mixes weren’t going to help her career but they did make her feel at least a little bit better.

The crying and eating Amy’s ice-cream had helped too of course.

Beca was in bed by the time Chloe got back that night, and even thought she wasn’t asleep she pretended she was.

Chloe could always tell when Beca had been crying, and she definitely did not want to talk about the reason why.

So she closed her eyes when she heard the keys in the door, and kept them closed as the lights came on which was followed by the sound of high-heeled shoes walking across the apartment.

She felt the bed dip behind her, and heard the click of Chloe’s lamp turn on.

The bed jostled again, and the main light went off.

She heard running water from the bathroom as Chloe washed off her makeup and brushed her teeth, and then the sound of drawers opening as she searched for pyjamas.

She heard Chloe undressing, and tried not to picture it. She hoped Chloe didn’t need help with unzipping her dress, because she didn’t know if she could handle that right now.

Eventually the bed dipped again and the light went out.

She felt Chloe gently tug at the blankets so she could cover herself.

Then there was nothing but a calm silence.

Beca could tell by the way that Chloe was breathing that she wasn’t asleep yet and before she could stop herself, she was rolling over to face her.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hi,” Chloe replied. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Beca just smiled as she looked at Chloe’s face in the moonlight. She was so beautiful.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Beca said. “How was your night?”

They were both whispering, even though they were the only two people in the apartment, and it was only a little after midnight.

“Fine,” Chloe said. “What did you get up to?”

“Made some mixes,” Beca said. “Before you ask, no. They’re not ready yet.”

Chloe grinned. “Not even for me?”

“Especially not for you.”

“Spoil sport,” Chloe said.

They fell into an easy silence while they just continued to look at each other, and Beca felt that tug in her heart again.

She wanted more than anything to just reach out and touch her. To tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. To sweep her thumb across her jaw.

To kiss her.

God, she wanted to kiss her.

She swallowed, and turned so she was lying on her back.

Amy was right. Time was running out if she was going to say something. And Beca knew she had to say something.

She just didn’t think she could look at Chloe while she said it.

“Is everything okay?” Chloe asked, in her gentlest voice that was always Beca’s undoing.

She just had to do it. She had to rip the bandaid off and deal with whatever came after.

If Chloe turned her down… well… their friendship could survive that.

Right?

“Are you gonna move in with Chicago?”

If she’d been looking at Chloe she’d have seen her frown.

“What? No, what made you ask that? We’ve only been dating for a couple of weeks,” Chloe sounded genuinely confused, and it spurred Beca on. “We’ve been on, like, six dates.”

“But is that something you could see yourself doing? With him, I mean.”

“I… I don’t know. I don’t really know him, I hadn’t thought about it. Why?”

Beca swallowed again.

It was now or never.

“Chloe, I… fuck, this is… look, this is hard, okay. I’m not good at this.”

“Bec, you’re kinda freaking me out,” Chloe said. She sat up and switched on the lamp on her nightstand.

Beca felt instantly exposed and vulnerable - way too vulnerable - and she was up and off the bed in seconds.

“Beca-”

“Just… just give me a second,” Beca said, her heart beating uncomfortably.

She could feel tears building in her eyes and, at that exact moment, they heard the sound of keys in the door before Amy walked in.

“Funny story,” she said, shutting the door and walking further into the room. “Turns out it’s next week that I’m staying-”

She stopped abruptly, realising she had stepped into some kind of emotional minefield.

“Uh oh,” she said. “Beca when I said you should tell her I didn’t mean toni-”

“Nope!” Beca said, loudly cutting her off before walking into the bathroom and locking the door behind her.

Okay, so this wasn’t exactly going to plan.

She had locked herself in the bathroom and was maybe on the verge of a panic attack.

Not an ideal situation.

“Beca,” Chloe said, knocking on the door. “Come on, you can’t stay in there forever.”

I can try, Beca thought.

When Beca didn't respond, or give any indication that she would come out of the bathroom anytime soon, Chloe turned to Amy with a huff of frustration.

“What just happened?”

“So… she didn’t tell you anything?”

“No! I think she was about to tell me something and then…” Chloe trailed off with a shrug. “I don’t know. Something freaked her out and then you showed up.”

“Look this is really not something I should - or want to - be involved in,” Amy said. “So I’m just gonna…” She jerked a thumb towards her bedroom. Amy made a hasty retreat and Chloe returned to the bathroom door.

“Beca, please,” Chloe said. “Look, even if you don’t wanna talk to me, can you just unlock the door so I can go pee. I’ve had like a full bottle of wine tonight and you know how small my bladder is.”

She heard the lock slide and Beca opened the door.

Chloe could see tears in her eyes despite the fact that Beca was doing everything in her power to avoid looking at her.

“Thank you,” Chloe said, as Beca moved aside to let her in.

It hadn’t been a lie, Chloe really did need to pee, so after she closed the door behind her, Beca sat down on the bed and let her head drop into her hands.

It’s probably for the best, she thought. It would ruin everything.

The light from the lamp had had the same sobering effect of daylight.

It reminded her of all the reasons she hadn’t told Chloe how she felt, and why she shouldn’t tell her now.

Any fantasies she could conjure up during the night were always chased away by the day.

While Chloe was stroking her hair in the moonlight, it was easy to imagine that they could be together, but those hopes were always replaced with facts the next day. And the same thing was happening now.

Beca felt something hard lodge itself in her chest as she came to a realisation.

She couldn’t keep doing this.

She’d have to start looking for a new place.

When she heard the toilet flush and the sound of running water she quickly wiped her eyes.

She didn’t look at Chloe when she came out, and kept her eyes fixed on her clasped hands in front of her.

“Are you gonna tell me what’s going on?”

“No,” Beca said. “It’s… it’s nothing. It was dumb. Can we just go to sleep?”

“Sure,” Chloe said with a sigh.

Beca didn’t get into bed until the light was off and then she lay with her back to Chloe.

“Night Bec.”

Beca swallowed again, hoping her voice was steady. “Night.”

Beca’s phone then lit up on her bedside table.

Amy: omg tell her or I will!!!

Beca read it, smiled briefly, and then locked her phone.

She didn’t say anything else, but after a few minutes of silence, Chloe rolled over and wrapped her arm around Beca’s middle. Her other hand started stroking through her hair.

“You get a headache when you cry,” she said softly, answering the question Beca hadn’t asked.

Something broke inside Beca, and she knew she couldn’t keep it in any longer.

“I’m in love with you Chloe.”

Chloe’s hand stilled and Beca’s heart seemed to stop beating.

The silence stretched on, and Beca had to fight every urge to run.

And then Chloe’s arm tightened around Beca’s waist, and she pulled her closer.

“What took you so long?”

Beca laughed and turned around to face her. Their faces were inches apart now, and Beca could see the tears building in Chloe’s eyes.

“I was scared,” she said, her voice breaking. “I was so fucking scared. I didn’t want to lose you.”

“You could never lose me,” Chloe replied. “You will never lose me. I promise.”

Her eyes traveled over Beca’s face, flicking between her eyes, looking for doubt or regret. She didn’t see either. She saw love and adoration. She saw vulnerability, hope, and a tiny fraction of fear.

“I’m in love with you too, Bec.”

And then the fear was gone from her eyes and her face broke into a grin.

“Yeah?” Beca asked, letting out a tearful laugh.

“Yeah,” Chloe replied.

“Can I kiss you?”

Chloe nodded, and their lips met a second later.

Tomorrow, in the cold light of day, Chloe would tell Chicago she didn’t think they should see each other anymore. Tomorrow, she would ask Beca on a date and if it went well - which she knew it would - she would ask her to be her girlfriend.

Tomorrow, when the sun was up, she would repeat these things they’d said to each other in the moonlight.

She’d tell Beca she loved her.

She’d tell Beca she’d always loved her.

And Beca would say it back. A thousand times. In a thousand different ways.

#bechloe week #bechloe week 2021 #bechloe #bechloe prompt #bechloe fanfiction #bechloe fanfic #bechloe fic #beca #Chloe #beca x chloe #beca mitchell #chloe beale #pitch perfect #pitch perfect fanfic #pitch perfect fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic

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paragonlexa · 3 years

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you and me (we‘re a sure thing) a mary/ririka playlist

spotify/apple/youtube

a mix for a ship that is near and dear to my heart.

inspired greatly by cat/orsimer‘s beautifully crafted characterizations of ririka and mary and I hope I was able to capture some of that essence through this soundtrack. what it is to be seen and treated as human.

this is also dedicated to the incredibly talented nite @noiholic who inspired me to make it in the first place! happy birthday, my dear friend! I hope you dig it.

and shout out to the meariri fandom for being awesome in general. you’re all iconic. this is for you too.

anyway, I’ve blabbered enough. for anyone that checks it out, I genuinely hope you enjoy! tracklist and pointed lyrics under the cut. it’s a long one, sorry! it’s all about the journey. and so, they were gambling partners...

losing hand \ a silent film

I'll believe in trust, if you believe in blindness so show a little faith, faith in human kindness

I'm a losing hand, I'm a play too far I'm a step in the wrong direction, still, you hitch your wagon to this star

paradise (feat. dermot kennedy) \ meduza

in the fading light, hearts collide, shadows dance in the distance something just ain't right, I'm cold inside, help me find what I'm missing

love song \ kelly sweet

'cause love is the key we must turn, and truth is the flame we must burn freedom, the lesson we must learn do you know what I mean? have your eyes really seen?

try (feat. lola rhodes) \ wish I was

I wanna roll the dice, 'cause there's a chance I could get this right and I'm hoping to land on something I like, with you on the line

you make me want to try

blue heaven midnight crush \ betty who

my love, tell me what you're thinking, 'cause one way or the other I can take it 'cause I'm so tired of dreaming, you hold my hand and I forget to fake it 'cause it feels like I've been falling forever 'cause we're more than friends, we're perfect together

I got it bad, and you're my blue heaven midnight crush

fff \ zara larson

is there a spark for us, or is it just purely platonic? is this a story arc? 'cause if it‘s ours, it'd be iconic

can’t look away (feat. olivia somerlyn) \ tydi & christopher tin

killed some time with you, fell so far everything to lose, my whole heart is wrapped up inside your hands, and I never want it back how could you understand, how could you feel the same?

can you really see me, like I see you?

horizon (feat. haliene) \ seven lions, tritonal & kill the noise

I close my eyelids, shut out the violence here in the silence, you're my horizon

chemical \ kerli

this love is more than chemical, it feels unusual and I can't get enough

this love is more than chemical and we're unbreakable

love exists \ amy lee

love makes no sense, love has no name love drowns you in tears and it sets your heart on fire love has no fear, love has no reason so infinitely vast and we're standing at the edge take my hand, and erase the past forever my love is you... my love you are

wondrous love \ karmina

run like thieves, stolen treasure hide in trees, come down never midnight, moonlight, we might climb these stars floating, falling, landing in your arms

what a wondrous love is this that caused a heart of bliss till death you'll share my crown oh, my soul

(this is how the momobami twins love. once you have their heart, you have it forever)

sure thing \ man cub & svrcina

baby, you're a sure thing baby, you're a sure thing baby, you're the one thing that I can always count on even if it's only you and I, I never question and you know I'm a sure thing too baby, I'm a sure thing too

run \ sorn

stuck here, waiting for what? what’s here, but a whole lotta nothing? so why don’t we, why don’t we run do all the things that we want yeah

no fear, taking control I’m good with wherever we’re going so why don’t we, why don’t we run do what we’ve wanted for once yeah

find me \ boyce avenue

find me, here in your arms now I'm wondering where you've always been? and blindly, I came to you, knowing you'd breathe new life from within with you in time there's nothing else my life stands still you are the will that makes me strong

the beacon \ a fine frenzy

burning beacon in the night can't feel its heat or see its light, that single solitary guide it must get lonely there sometimes let me stand by you, the honor is mine let me stand by you, loneliest light

light \ darren hayes

light... it blisters your light, coming down so bright, transformation turn it up, give me some room to grow turn it up, give me the sense to know I have been cold, I have been blind you were sent to change my mind, I can put my faith in you

feel \ darren hayes

I no longer live like a man in the dark, hiding all the pieces of my broken heart way up high I'm holding on, way up high I'm holding on to you

I don’t know what to say \ the magnetic fields

so I don't know what to say I don't know what to say I don't know what to say I don't know...

I could try to shove you off the nearest cliff I could say I lo...

say something loving \ the xx

you say something loving, it's so overwhelming, the thrill of affection, feels so unfamiliar you say something loving, without hesitation it hits me, it hits me... it feels so unfamiliar

humanity \ atb

others walked on by in their blindness, but you refused to let me be my disguise you saw behind this, you pushed on in and set me free and it was in protection, you held on with such certainty embraced by your affection, you wrapped me in humanity

chinese lanterns \ a silent film

as one dancing figurine came sailing into view, know I saw your face the way you want me to and then just like in a dream, the night burst like the flowers bloom just for us, it's all for us

#meariri #mary x ririka #kakegurui #fanmix #I'm ALWAYS open to music reccs and fanmixes pls don't hesitate to send them my way!!#also yes ofc I made a kirasaya mix too so if anyone is interested let me know and I'll post that too :)#thank you for indulging me #it's the depression and the meariri brainrot #here's a bonus track for you: can't help falling in love by cannons #much love and gn

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wayward-dreamer · 3 years

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Life’s Lessons - Part 4

Title: Life’s Lessons - A Lesson in Self Control

Pairing: Mechanic!Dean x Female!Teacher!Reader (eventual)

Other Pairings: Dean x Lisa, Female!Reader x OMC – Ethan (past, mentioned)

Word Count: 6,612 (thoughts, song lyrics in italics)

Part Summary: After Charlie witnesses the looks between Dean and Y/N outside the school on Friday, she convinces Y/N they should go out for drinks. At the bar, Charlie and Y/N bond, as she opens up to Charlie about Dean but also her past. After several drinks, Y/N goes home drunk and gets a little help from a friend. The next day brings a little embarrassment, but also brings up feelings within Dean and Y/N, that they know they shouldn’t be feeling.

Warnings: Swearing, Alcohol Consumption, Mentions of cheating, Mentions of reader’s ex, Talk of Emotional Abuse, Mentions of a physical incident against reader, Drunk reader, Embarrassment, Dean being sweet (yes, that’s a warning), flirting, forbidden feelings

Music: Deeper in the Water by The Lone Bellow (playing in the background while Y/N is baking scene), Wherever I May Roam by Metallica (Dean and Y/N backyard scene).

Life’s Lessons Spotify Playlist

A/N: Thank you to everyone for your wonderful comments on this series so far! I’m so glad you’re all enjoying it! This part is a little heavier, so please read the warnings. Please share your thoughts with me, I love hearing what you all think! Happy reading and enjoy! :)

Dividers by the wonderful @firefly-graphics! Check her out for all your AU needs!!!

Life’s Lessons Masterlist

Y/N took off her red glasses, smiling as she looked at her students. She could see them all flicking their eyes up at the clock every now and then, wondering when the bell would ring. She found it amusing as she tried not to laugh. It was Friday and they couldn’t wait to get out of there and start their weekend fun. She couldn’t wait herself, hoping to have some time for herself, call her family and maybe go see a movie.

Unfortunately for her students, they still had some time before they could leave, using that time to take the notes for the criteria set for their book reports. She watched as they all scribbled in their notebooks hurriedly, wanting to get out as soon as the bell went off.

“Make sure it’s personal to you” she told them as they wrote. “Books have a way of really affecting us, so I want you guys to choose something that really had a big effect on you.”

Some of them mumbled an “okay” while others nodded.

Suddenly, the bell rang, and they all sprung up at the same time. It was like how smaller children got excited for ice-cream.

“Alright, don’t all head out at the same time! You’ll plow each other out of the way!” she laughed.

“Sorry, Miss Y/L/N” one student called out.

“Have a great weekend, guys!” she called out in return.

Y/N walked out of the room as well, following them down the hallway and out of the school building. She smiled as students were being picked up by their parents, getting on the bus home or their bikes and riding home. She spotted a parent of one of her students notice her, walking over to her.

“Miss Y/L/N?” the woman asked.

“Yes” Y/N smiled, offering her hand.

“Oh, it’s wonderful to meet you, I’m Carol. Amy’s mom” she said, shaking Y/N’s hand.

“Wonderful to meet you, too” Y/N agreed.

“I just wanted to come and introduce myself and welcome you” Carol said, a bright, peaceful smile on her face. “I know it’s already been a couple of weeks, but I hope you’re loving Lawrence.”

Y/N nodded. “I’m definitely warming up to life here.”

“Well, Amy’s really fond of you. English is already her favorite subject but she’s so happy to have someone like you teaching it” Carol complemented her.

Y/N beamed, her heart soaring. It was always great to hear when kids enjoyed a subject and the way you taught it.

“She’s a great student, so that definitely makes it easy” Y/N told her.

Carol blushed, delighted by the complement for her daughter. “Well, we better go. I’m sure we’ll see you around.”

“Of course,” Y/N said. “It was great to meet you.”

As Carol walked away after saying goodbye, Y/N looked around as the crowds of children started to clear. She spotted Charlie and was about to walk over, when she noticed who she was talking to. Dean was leaning against his car, aviators on and laughing at something Charlie just said. Ben was sitting in the car, waiting for Dean. She didn’t realize that Charlie knew Dean too, but she really should’ve made the connection considering she knew Cas, and Cas knew Dean. She thought about going over there, but she didn’t want to interrupt them. Plus, after what happened the other night at dinner with him and Lisa, she wasn’t sure if she should go over there.

“Y/N!” she heard her redheaded friend call out and she knew she had to go over.

She smiled as she walked over, trying to prepare herself to be near Dean again. He looked so damn good in that moment, and she was finding it hard to look at him.

“Thanks to your car, I know you already know each other, so I don’t have to introduce you” Charlie laughed, as she nudged Y/N with her hand.

“Yeah.” Dean took his sunglasses off and Y/N saw that he was looking directly at her. She was suddenly nervous again.

Dean took her in, dressed in a black dress that hugged her body in just the right way. Her red glasses were tucked into the neckline of her dress, and he had a sudden urge to see her wearing them. Mind outta the gutter, man he thought to himself as he looked away from her.

“I didn’t realize you guys were friends” she said, as she stood in front of Charlie and Dean.

Charlie smiled as she looked at Dean. “Yeah, have been for years.”

“Charlie’s like the little sister I never wanted” Dean teased, smiling cheekily at her. Charlie punched him in the arm, and he laughed.

His gaze moved from her back to Y/N. He hadn’t been able to get her out of his head since the first time he met her, but even more so after what happened at her house.

Charlie noticed how Dean and Y/N were looking at each other and dropped her head, smiling without them seeing.

“I better go” he said, suddenly, putting his sunglasses back on. “Lisa finished work early and we’re going to Sid and Olivia’s for dinner.”

“Tell them I said hi” Y/N told him, trying not frown as she wished he had stayed longer.

“Sure thing” he nodded. He moved in to hug Charlie, kissing her head.

Y/N watched as Dean got into the car and drove off, the car roaring down the road. She turned to Charlie and her face dropped into a frown, when she saw her friend grinning at her.

“What?”

“You like him” Charlie stated.

Y/N stared at her in shock, before scoffing a laugh. “You’re insane.”

“On the contrary, I’m completely sane” Charlie countered. “And you denied it a little too quickly, so it has to be true.”

“Charlie…” Y/N trailed off, not knowing how to respond to that.

“I think we need to get a drink together” Charlie suggested. “We haven’t gotten a chance to hang out outside of work yet.”

Y/N grinned. “Sounds great.”

“Tonight?” Charlie asked.

“Name a time and place, and I’m there” Y/N responded quickly. She was excited to go out and see what Lawrence was like on a Friday night. She knew it wouldn’t be much for a small town, but she also knew she needed to know how the nightlife was here.

“Ditch the rental at home and I’ll pick you up” Charlie said, as she started to walk away. “I’ll be there at 7!”

“See you soon!” Y/N called out as they both made their way back in to collect their belongings, before they headed home.

When she got home, Y/N relaxed for a while before she needed to get ready. She freshened up and got dressed into black ripped skinny jeans and a dark mustard sweater. She put on her black heeled ankle boots, ran a straightener through her hair quickly to get the kinks of the school day out and applied light make-up. She picked up her black leather jacket and her bag, just in time when she heard two quick honks of a car horn. She picked up her keys and walked out, closing the door behind her. She walked down the porch steps and smiled at Charlie as she walked over, getting into the car.

Y/N and Charlie made their way to the town square, lined with shops and some restaurants. Deciding they were hungry too; they grabbed a quick bite to eat. Conversation over at the diner mainly consisted of work and minor things, because Y/N had a feeling Charlie wanted to talk about personal things over drinks. After they ate, they walked down the street and past a couple of dive bars, the loud music and chatter filtering out to the streets. She felt better knowing there was something going on in this town and that it wasn’t as sleepy as a place like Rhinebeck. Though Rhinebeck did have its own charms.

Y/N followed Charlie, arriving at the place where they sat at the bar. She and Charlie sat on the bar stools, the bartender immediately coming over to them.

“What can I get you, ladies?” he asked, smiling at them.

“Gin and tonic, please” Charlie replied, smiling back.

Y/N thought it over for a second before she replied. “A vodka martini.”

“Sure thing” he muttered before moving down the bar to mix the drinks.

Y/N and Charlie both took their jackets off, settling in. The bartender put their respective drinks in front of them and then went to serve other customers. Charlie picked up her glass and turned to Y/N.

“To surviving your first two weeks” she said, smiling.

“Well, thanks for making it easy for me to settle in” Y/N smiled back, clinking her glass against hers. “I really mean it. You and Cas have really helped me and supported me, so… thank you.”

“No need to thank” Charlie waved her off, taking a sip of her drink. “So… let’s get to the real reason we’re here…”

“Oh god” Y/N groaned.

“Oh yeah” Charlie smirked. “You like Dean.”

Y/N laughed a little to herself. She didn’t beat around the bush, this one.

“Yeah. I do” Y/N admitted, feeling slightly relieved to say it out loud. “At first, I really just thought it was a crush, something that would just go away after a couple of days. Then… then the butterflies stuck around and they’re not going away. Every time I see him… I just want to be near him. All the time. I know two weeks is way too soon to be feeling like this about someone I just met, but-” she explained but Charlie shook her head, cutting in.

“I don’t think the length of time matters to Oxytocin” Charlie advised her.

“I’m not quite at the love stage yet. In fact, I hope I never get there because that’s going to get me into trouble” Y/N countered.

“Which is unfortunate because I think you two would be adorable together” Charlie confessed, a guilty grin on her face.

“What?” Y/N scoffed, not quite believing what she just heard.

“I’m sorry, it’s just… the way he was looking at you, even just for a few seconds, I haven’t seen him like that in a really long time” Charlie said, a sad smile on her face.

“Oh god” Y/N groaned, her face dropping into her hands. “Charlie, what are you doing to me?!”

“I know, I know” Charlie shook her head, not knowing what else to say.

“I can’t” Y/N shook her head, taking a large sip of her martini.

“I know, and I wasn’t telling you to go for it at all. I’m sorry” Charlie apologized, sipping her drink.

“It’s okay” Y/N reassured her, patting her back. Once they had both calmed down, Y/N turned to her friend. “Oh, they came over for dinner on Monday. I wanted to thank Dean about the car, and he came over with Lisa.”

“Really?” Charlie asked, a little shocked. “She actually came over?”

Y/N nodded. “Seemed like she didn’t want to be there, though. I mean, she was okay, she didn’t say much, which I don’t really care about, but she was kind of cold with Dean.”

Y/N looked at Charlie and saw that she looked like she wanted to say something but was contemplating whether she should or not.

“Okay, look…” Charlie started, trying to find her next words carefully. “I’m just going to tell you this, and it’s in no way saying that you have to do something, I just think you need to know, now that you’ve brought this up.”

“Okay…” Y/N didn’t know where she was going with this, but she listened anyway.

“Dean and Lisa have never been good for each other. They had a one-night thing, it was great for both of them, but that’s where it should’ve ended. Things were fine at the start, but once they got past the one-year mark, is when things started turning. Two years in, it got pretty bad. I mean, Dean doesn’t know for sure… but he thinks that she might’ve slept with someone else when she went home to visit her family. Things haven’t been right for a while now. Between not trusting her and them fighting at the drop of a hat all the time… it should’ve ended a year ago” Charlie explained.

“Wow” Y/N sighed, shaking her head.

“The only time we see him happy is when he’s at work or when he’s with us and she’s not around. Hell, I don’t particularly think she likes any of us, and we’ve tried really hard to include her. She never really wanted to do anything with us and would only come out with Dean if she wanted to prove things were okay. After a while, we just stopped trying to get her to like us” Charlie went on.

Y/N couldn’t imagine anyone not liking Charlie or Cas. “Seriously?”

Charlie nodded, a glint of anger behind her eyes. “She’s never encouraged him with the business, she’s always put him down for his choice in friends. She claims it’s to make him see that he’s better than them, but she’s just forcing him to think things he never would.”

There was a long silence between them, as Y/N processed everything Charlie just told her. She and Charlie were only just starting to become friends, so she could’ve easily said she didn’t believe her. She did, though. Charlie looked genuinely hurt, which meant everything was true.

“Fuck” Y/N whispered.

“Yeah” Charlie said, raising her eyebrows. “Dean’s generally a happy, care-free guy but for over a year now, I know he’s been hurting. He just hides it behind his larger than life personality. I just want to see him as his old self again. He thinks that if he stays, maybe things will just fix themselves, but they won’t. They haven’t yet and they certainly won’t the longer he stays in this relationship.”

“Wow” Y/N sighed again.

“So, that’s all I want to say” Charlie finished. “I’m not saying you have to do anything about it, but I want you know the reality, and maybe not hate yourself so much for having the thoughts you’ve been having.”

Y/N nodded. Hearing it made her feel slightly better, but worse now that she knew what he was going through.

Another silence fell between them as Y/N thought about everything Charlie said.

“It scares me” Y/N looked down into her glass, shaking her head. “Feeling something so quickly for someone I just met. I’ve never felt a connection like this before. Not even with Ethan.”

“Ethan?” Charlie asked, confusion written on her face.

Y/N bit her lip. She didn’t realize she had never mentioned him to Charlie. “My ex.”

Charlie nodded slowly, immediately understanding. “I’m guessing things didn’t end well if you’re so far away from New York.”

“No, they did not” Y/N muttered after a sip of her drink. “He uh… he was really controlling of me. He’d tell me how I shouldn’t dress up and be too revealing, but then somehow… somehow, he’d tell me that I didn’t try hard enough either, that I wasn’t attractive enough. My job wasn’t good enough. I… I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t… I didn’t think it was something that was a problem, no matter how much anyone told me it was. I thought he’d… he’d say the things he did because he just wanted me to be better, but it was to stroke his own ego.”

“Scumbag” Charlie muttered; her face morphed into anger.

“Yeah” Y/N laughed, bitterly. “I couldn’t see it until the night he hurt me. I thought he was doing those things because he loved me, but love isn’t making a person hate themselves to make yourself feel better.”

“You said he hurt you…” Charlie trailed off, worried that she’d uncover feelings that Y/N had buried.

“Just once, he pushed me and I ended up in hospital with a concussion” Y/N said, her words choking around the lump in her throat. “Once I was better, my parents helped me get my things out of his apartment. It wasn’t an easy transition; I kept seeing him everywhere. I tried to get a restraining order against him, but his family had money and probably paid someone off, so he never got charged with one. He eventually left with his new girlfriend, but that didn’t mean it got better for me. It took some time, a year of therapy before I left, but I realized that I wasn’t going to let anyone do that to me ever again. That place… I didn’t want to leave my family but there was too much of him there. So… now I’m here.”

“I’m glad you are. Y/N, you’re… shit, you’re fucking amazing and I hate that someone made you feel like you’re not” Charlie said, quietly, her eyes watery.

“I really know how to tell a story, huh?” Y/N jested, trying to lighten the mood again, as she blinked to keep her tears from falling.

“I’m glad you told me, that you could trust me with that” Charlie said, a small, empathetic smile playing at her lips.

“I’m sorry” Y/N shook her head, feeling awful at her sudden confession of her past. “I shouldn’t have brought it up when we’re here to have a good time.”

Charlie took her hand in hers. “No, please don’t apologize. I really am glad that you did. I’m so glad I know you.”

Y/N smiled at her. She knew Charlie would hear the story and wouldn’t pity her but be there for her and listen. She held Charlie’s hand, squeezing it. She was glad to have met the woman sitting in front of her.

“You know… Dean would never do that to you, right? To anyone” Charlie told her.

Y/N nodded, closing her eyes. “I know. I don’t know how I know, but I just see him, and I know that he’d never do that.”

“And that’s what scares you, right? That he’d never do that, that you feel so much and that he’s with someone else?” Charlie asked.

Y/N looked at her and didn’t say anything. Her face said it all. Charlie just nodded, before taking the last sip of her drink.

“I need another drink” Y/N said with a small chuckle, having finished her martini.

Charlie just smiled as she flagged down the bartender.

Another drink turned into two more after that. Y/N understood what Charlie said clearly, but that didn’t mean she was going to take the words and run with them. Why risk everything on what could just be a crush? She was wrong, 2 weeks was absolutely a ridiculous amount of time to suddenly fall for someone. She was overthinking things.

She was thankful when Charlie dropped the subject of Dean, having said what she needed to about how she felt towards Lisa, knowing Y/N would interpret everything the way she needed to. She also felt a huge pressure lift off her chest when she told Charlie about what happened with Ethan. It had been a year since the break-up and since she had started therapy. Her last session before she left had left her feeling relieved. Coming to Lawrence had been the best decision, even with her situation with Dean. Charlie was amazing and was glad she spoke up and told someone who she really trusted.

They eventually moved onto talking Charlie and Dorothy and Y/N found the redhead incredibly cute in that moment, as she gushed about her girlfriend.

Y/N knew that once the fourth martini went down, she had to get home. She was well and truly drunk and all she wanted to do was sleep it off. Just forget them ever talking about Dean.

As they left the bar, she stumbled slightly as they walked down the road. She needed to get an Uber and be alone in her thoughts now, her mind reeling with their conversation but vodka, too.

“Are you sure I can’t take you home?” Charlie asked, concern all over her face.

Y/N chuckled as she shook her head. “I’m sure, I’ll be fine.”

“Okay” Charlie agreed, reluctantly. “Message me as soon as you get home.”

An Uber quickly pulled up a few moments after she called it, and Y/N got in. She smiled and waved at Charlie. “Thanks for tonight.”

“You’re welcome. I’ll see you Monday” Charlie smiled.

Y/N leaned back against the seat, looking out the window. She really didn’t need man drama while she settled into a new town. She had had enough of it back home in her previous relationship, that one almost ruining her mental state. She was still recovering, even if had been a year since they broke up. Memories of him and imagining him around town, even after he left, were what made her decide to leave too. The last thing she needed was to be with someone. That being said, someone could argue with her that it was time to move on and find something better, something more meaningful.

Well, that something would have to come from somewhere else because it sure as hell wasn’t going to come from Dean. As much as she was attracted to him, he was with someone. No matter how unhappy the relationship was. Her mind floated to something Charlie told her. That it was possible that Lisa cheated on Dean.

He was sweet and caring, nurturing and compassionate. Gorgeous as hell and insanely hilarious. Who could ever cheat on him? People had their flaws, but that didn’t mean you give up on a person. His flaws couldn’t be as bad as her ex’s.

The Uber pulled up outside her house. Y/N steadied herself as much as she could as she got out. The car pulling up caught the attention of Dean, however, as he was sitting on the front porch, beer in hand. He watched as Y/N stumbled up the stairs of her porch and tried to open the door to her house.

Dean put his beer down on the stoop and got up from the stairs, walking across the street. As he walked up her porch stairs, Y/N turned around and smiled at him, indicating to Dean that she was quite drunk.

“Dean” she slurred happily, her eyes sparkling.

He tried not to laugh as he walked over to her. “Doing okay there, sweetheart?”

“Sure am” she giggled in her drunken state. “Just trying to get my door open.”

Dean watched as she tried to put the key in but kept missing the keyhole. He stepped forward and took the key from her hand, putting it into the lock and opening the door with ease.

“Thanks” she beamed.

As she went to walk through the threshold, her foot caught the edge and she stumbled. With quick reflexes, Dean caught her arm and pulled her into his body.

“Whoa, Y/N” he exclaimed, cradling her to his body.

She let out a loud cackling laugh, completely unaware of her near injury. Knowing that this wasn’t going to end well if she kept at it by herself, Dean bent down and lifted her legs up as he cradled her body. He lifted her into his arms as he carried her into the house, trying not to dwell on how good she felt in his arms.

“Ooh” she gasped, as her arms wrapped around his neck. “You’re very strong, Dean.”

She couldn’t help but lean her head on his shoulder, the intoxicating scent of cologne driving her crazy.

He ignored that as he walked down the hallway and into her bedroom.

Dean gulped as he looked around, the realization that he shouldn’t be standing in her bedroom hitting him suddenly. He quickly walked to the bed and laid her down, watching her eyes flutter as the alcohol she had consumed took control.

“Have to… have to text Charlie” she mumbled, the alcohol making her sleepy.

Ah, so that’s who she went out with he thought as he took off her shoes and pulled the covers over her.

He picked up her bag and fished around quickly, finding her phone. He didn’t look in, knowing that a woman’s handbag had things in there he had no business seeing.

Y/N unlocked her phone and handed it to him, flinging her head back to her pillow.

Dean bit back a laugh as he messaged Charlie as Y/N.

Hey, made it home safe. Thanks for tonight.

He added that in because if she was this drunk, then clearly she had a great time with his friend. Who wouldn’t?

Dean placed her phone on the nightstand and was about to walk away when he heard her stir.

“You’re really sweet, Dean” she mumbled, only one eye looking up at him as her face was smooshed to her pillow. “Why can’t all guys be like you?”

Dean shook his head. She was really out of it. “I wouldn’t say that, Y/N. I’m not someone to be compared to.”

“I think you are” she said, a soft smile on her face. “I think you’re something special, Dean Winchester.”

A smile spread on his face, but it dropped quickly. She wouldn’t remember saying it in the morning, so it was best not to dwell on it.

“Goodnight, Y/N” he whispered.

“I could get used to you in my life” she whispered, as she drifted off into slumber.

Dean felt a pang in his heart at her words. She may have been drunk, but it had been a while since someone had something like that to him. He couldn’t let her words affect him like that, though. He was with someone else and he needed to make that work again.

Dean slowly walked out of her room and back down the hall. He took out his wallet and took out the Advil tablets he kept in there, leaving them by her coffee machine. He picked up a napkin and quickly scribbled a note on it, before leaving her house. Hopefully she wouldn’t remember all of that in the morning and they could avoid the awkwardness that would follow.

The sunlight from the windows streamed into Y/N’s room. It warmed the covers she was wrapped in, causing her to stir. She groaned as she lifted her head, feeling the heaviness of last night’s drinking session with Charlie. She sat in bed as she tried to recall what happened last night. Her eyes widened as she remembered, everything quickly rushing to her head.

Dean had helped her into the house. Dean had most likely helped her into bed. Dean had been in her bedroom.

She couldn’t remember if any words had been exchanged. Had she said anything that would cause her embarrassment?

Y/N slowly got out of bed and picked up her robe, wrapping it around herself. She picked up her phone and walked out of her bedroom, into the kitchen, as she needed coffee as soon as humanly possible. She looked at the time. It was 10 in the morning. She had really been knocked out last night. She walked over to her coffee machine and was about to start filling it, when she noticed something out of the corner of her eye.

A slip of Advil tablets and a note laid next to the machine. She smiled as she picked up the note, scribbled in all-caps.

HOPE YOUR HEAD DOESN’T HATE YOU TOO MUCH IN THE MORNING.

-D

Her stomach flipped as she bit her lip, reading over the note again. She liked his handwriting. It said so much about him.

She quickly took the Advil before she made her coffee and breakfast, two eggs and a little bacon. You had to have bacon on a Saturday morning, especially if you were hungover. That’s what she felt.

The rest of her afternoon consisted of paying bills and doing some work for her classes, once her head was feeling slightly better. She made a mental note to actually go see a movie next week with Charlie. Maybe they could invite Cas’s girlfriend along, as she was dying to meet Meg. After doing her work for the day, she decided to do a little baking. Saturday afternoon baking was something she did often back home, and she wanted to keep that going here in her new house.

Y/N decided on making an apple pie, one of her favorites. As she got all the ingredients together, she decided to make two, wanting to take one over to Dean as a thank you for helping her last night. Hopefully he liked pie. She turned on one of her softer playlists, as cooking or baking needed some kind of music in the background and something soft was good for her head right now.

An hour later as The Lone Bellow graced her ears, she took out two beautifully golden pies from the oven. She put them on the kitchen bench and went to shower, having still been in the same clothes from last night.

Once she was freshened up, she walked out in dark blue skinny jeans, a white tank top and a pink and white plaid shirt over the top. She took a red and white checked cloth and wrapped it around one of the pies, making sure it stayed warm as she walked over. Slipping her phone into her back pocket, she shrugged on a light jacket to shield her from the light breeze. It was starting to get colder and she wondered what winter would be like here.

Y/N left her house and walked over to Dean and Lisa’s, pie in hand. She was a little nervous and hoped that Lisa wouldn’t be there, so that she could talk to Dean alone. She was slightly ashamed of herself; he was technically a parent of a child she was teaching, and he saw her drunk. She really hated herself for it and hoped that they could talk and come to an understanding.

She quickly walked up the porch steps and rang their doorbell. She waited patiently for a few seconds, before she rang the bell again. Again, she didn’t hear anyone coming for the door. Even the Impala wasn’t in the driveway. They had probably gone out as a family. As she walked back down the porch steps, she heard some music and clinking sounds coming from the back of the house. Wondering if maybe Dean was at home, she walked around the corner to their backyard, the sounds of Metallica’s Wherever I May Roam becoming louder as she got closer. The sight that greeted her caused her eyes to widen and her heart to beat wildly in her chest.

Dean was leaning over the engine of his car with the hood open. He was wearing blue jeans that hung on his hips in the most perfect way, highlighting his cute butt. His dark grey t-shirt defined his physique, the material stretching across his chest and biceps. His arms and face were covered in grease from the car, but that only added to the hotness he was showing at that point. When he turned around and noticed her, he smirked which just killed her dead on the spot.

“Hey, I didn’t hear ya coming out here” he said, walking over to her, turning the music down a little as he walked past his little radio.

She blinked a few times, trying to get out of the trance he put her in. “I rang the bell a few times but then I heard you out here.”

He nodded as he jerked his head towards the car. “Yeah, I gotta work on her from time to time, make sure she’s still runnin’ properly.”

“Well, she’s gorgeous. I wouldn’t want her to fade away either, if I was you” she smiled.

He smirked as he looked at his priced possession. “Dad would tear me a new one if I ever did.”

She laughed a little before a silence fell between them, only the sounds of the song being heard.

And the road becomes my bride And the road becomes my bride I have stripped of all but pride So in her I do confide And she keeps me satisfied Gives me all I need And with dust in throat I crave Only knowledge will I save To the game you stay a slave

Now was as good a time as to bring up what she needed to.

“Dean, I just wanted to say thank you for helping me last night” she started but he waved her off.

“Don’t mention it, sweetheart” he smiled.

He really had to stop calling her that if she was ever going to get anywhere with this. If only he knew what that did to her.

“I know it might’ve felt like just a nice gesture, and it was, but… Dean, I’m really ashamed and I really, really hope you don’t see me differently now” she confessed.

Dean frowned, not sure what she meant. “Why would I do that?”

“It’s just that… I’m a teacher, and I’m supposed to be a certain way. You’re practically a parent to a child in my class, and you shouldn’t be seeing me like that, like how I was last night-” she rambled but the feel of his hands on her shoulders stopped her.

“Y/N, it’s really okay. I’d never tell anyone about that. I mean, shit. You gotta let loose once and a while, too. Maybe someone else would judge you for that, but I never would” he told her, his voice calming her.

“But-” Dean shook his head when she protested.

“Honestly, Y/N. It’s fine. That’s just between you and me. Okay?” he reassured her.

She sighed in relief. “Okay.”

“Good” he winked at her.

Her lips pressed into a thin line as she looked down, trying not to think about that wink.

“It’s just… I didn’t say anything stupid to you, did I? If I did, I’m so sorry” she apologized.

Dean remembered everything she said last night. It had kept him up for an hour and a half as her words circled around in his thoughts.

“Nope” he lied. “Though you did mutter something about finding Christopher Walken sexy.”

Y/N eyes widened. “What?!”

Dean guffawed loudly, shaking his head. “Oh my god, you should see your face.”

She reached up and smacked his arm, causing a small “ah” to leave his lips but he kept on laughing, as he rubbed his arm.

“You’re such an ass” she shook her head, trying not to smile at the sound of his laugh.

His laughter died down as he composed himself. “That was too easy.”

“I don’t think you deserve this pie now” she gestured to the wrapped-up dish in her hands.

His eyes lit up as he looked between her and what was in her hand. “Pie? You-you made me a pie?”

“Yeah, I did, as a thank you for last night but I don’t think I want to give it to you now” she pretended to be upset, riling him up.

“Y/N…” he said, looking her right in the eyes. “Please.”

Jesus. She was putty in his hands. This wasn’t good. She couldn’t do this with him. In that moment, all she could do was hand over the pie with a polite smile. She couldn’t let him think that she was wanted to keep going on this banter of theirs. That was dangerous and she wouldn’t be that person.

She quickly handed it over. “Since you asked so nice.”

His eyes and smile grew brighter, as he giddily lifted one corner of the cloth and smelt the cinnamon and apple.

His eyes rolled back as he moaned lightly. “Damn, that smells amazing. Thanks, Y/N. Seriously.”

“You’re welcome” she said, laughing slightly at his reaction. “I take it you like pie.”

“Like?” he scoffed. “More like obsessed.”

“Good to know” she giggled as she watched him take another whiff. “I better go.”

“Oh, before I forget. Your car should be ready on Wednesday” he told her.

She smiled with a sigh of relief. “Amazing, thank you.”

“So, I’ll see you at the shop on Wednesday” he said, his thumbs rubbing over the cloth around the pie. He was itching to dig into it.

“Yeah” she nodded. “Bye, Dean.”

“Bye. Thanks again” he lifted the pie as he thanked her.

Y/N smiled as she walked away, rounding the corner and disappearing.

As soon as she was gone, Dean walked into the house and put the pie on the kitchen counter. He washed his hands and wiped them down, his mouth salivating as the delicious scent of the pie wafted through the kitchen. He opened a drawer and took out a fork, unfolding the cloth from around the pie dish. He licked his lips he looked down at it, stabbing his fork in and digging up a big bite. He blew on it and shoved it into his mouth. The flavors exploded as he closed his eyes in delight.

“Fuck, that’s good” he mumbled to himself as he swallowed down the mouthful.

It had to be the best pie he had ever had, not including his mother’s because that wasn’t a fair fight. Did Y/N really have to be so perfect that she made an amazing pie, too? How the hell was he supposed to stay away from her if she did things like this?

You just have to he thought as he wrapped the pie up again, for later. You can’t keep doing what you’re doing with her.

If this was ever going to remain friendly, then he had to stop turning on the charm, even if that was second nature to him. She made everything so easy. Things hadn’t been easy for him in a long time.

Between what she said in her drunken state to him (she may have been drunk, but she still said it. So, it had to be true, right?) and now bringing him this pie, it was getting harder to resist her. He knew was starting to feel something for her, even if it had only been a couple of weeks. He hadn’t felt like this since the first time he was with Lisa. Once they actually got together, the spark fizzled out quite quickly as comfortability took over. Now, even that wasn’t there.

Maybe it’s only meant to be comfortable. Maybe the spark isn’t meant to stay as you get comfortable with your partner. Though, that didn’t seem right to him. If you were really in love, then wouldn’t the spark stick around?

He had never been more confused about what to do, but he knew what the right thing was. It was to stick it out with Lisa, and that’s what he needed to do.

No matter how much he thought about Y/N.

As Y/N walked towards her house, her smiled dropped. What happened back there wasn’t just a friendly neighborhood chat. That was more. Much more. That was something two people did when they’re getting to know each other as more than friends. That was banter and flirting and messing around with each other with silly jokes. There were looks that made her tingle all over, and polite words that comforted her.

He made everything so easy. What she was beginning to feel for him was so much more than what she had felt before. This feeling wasn’t even there the first time she met Ethan. She knew she was fooling herself when she said this was just a little crush.

As she entered her house, Y/N was determined.

Dean Winchester was not going to have an effect on her.

He just wasn’t.

-x-

Tags: @flamencodiva @deanwanddamons @winchest09 @katehuntington @akshi8278 @hobby27 @michellethetvaddict @spngirl05 @kyjey @halesandy @440mxs-wife @stoneyggirl @deanswaywardgirl @wonder-cole @that-one-gay-girl @redbarn1995 @marianita195 @babypink224221 @deans-baby-momma @parinarain @thoughts-and-funnies @mandalou29 @castiels-a-winchester @perpetualabsurdity

#Life's Lessons #Dean x Female!Reader #Dean x Female!Reader Series #Dean x Female!Reader Fanfiction #Female!Reader Insert #Mechanic!Dean #Teacher!Reader #Dean x Reader Fanfiction #Dean Winchester Series #Dean Winchester Fanfiction #Dean Winchester Fanfic #Supernatural Fanfiction

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centrally-unplanned · 3 years

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Allocating Your Aesthetic Budget: Sailor Moon Edition

Sailor Moon is a show that undoubtedly built a powerhouse of a visual brand. Should I even bother posting a screenshot of the sailor scouts, given that I am 100% confident anyone reading this can recall them instantly? I guess it won’t hurt:

Anime is often really good at creating iconic designs like this, through repetition of the visuals. It is awkward in live action shows if characters just wear the same outfit every scene (what, they only own one outfit? Are they homeless/work in the tech industry?), but animation gives us enough aesthetic “distance”, an awareness that this isn’t accurate to real life, that you can buy into the conceit. By wearing the same outfit every time, it just becomes the character. Not to mention a studio can really save quite a few bucks by streamlining production with neat tricks like having only one character design to animate - when you are on a shoe-string budget, like pretty much every anime in the 90’s was, every cut corner counts.

What is interesting about Sailor Moon is that most of the time it doesn’t really use this conceit at all.

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Episode 15 of Sailor Moon’s first season has, in its opening act, this shot of all of the Senshi (at the time) talking to the plot-of-the-day character, who clearly trains rock Pokemon in 16-bit caves in his off hours:

If you knew nothing about these three characters, you could probably infer about 80% of their personality just from their outfits. Usagi (the blond one in the middle, if that's necessary) is wearing:

Light pastel colours, with pink on top of that: girly, feminine, bubbly and breezy

Short-but-not-too-short of a skirt, and red heels: cares about fashion, wants to project an image of being a woman with a romantic hint to it

Long-twin tails w/ buns: Contrasting the shoes, she is still immature and childish. It also means she is the protagonist of an anime

Rei (far right) rocks a very different look:

T-shirt and jean shorts, shoes over heels: sensible, practical, a bit sporty

Very short shorts, long black hair: Confident, a bit aggressive, and suggestive of a more overt sexuality

Ami (far left) settles into a more restrained vibe with:

Full, long, but sleeveless dress, bob-cut hair: Chaste, more conservative, but not to the point of prudishness; particularly with the length (and the hand posture, shielding her body) probably a bit shy

Monochrome blue colour in outfit & hair: reserved, serene, possessing a calm demeanor

I know I have seen the show already, but really none of these details are a stretch - this is just the language of fashion. And all of these outfits are outfits that the characters have never (or rarely) worn before up until this point. The cast of Sailor Moon, far from that animation conceit of “standard outfits”, change clothes all…

the….

time.

I just randomly clicked on episodes to find these, it requires no hunting

And while it isn’t always as spot on as the top picture, they all in some way embody the language of visual design to speak to the personality of the characters. If you want to see more, check out one of the multiple tumblrs dedicated to the everyday clothing the Sailor Senshi wear, because of course those exist.

If this was a 2010’s Kyoto Animation show, pointing this out would be the end of it - every one of their shows has this level of impeccable detail. Sailor Moon is notable in that it is not at all that kind of show; the animation and designs in Sailor Moon take perpetual shortcuts to get the job done. I don’t think the transformation sequences need to be belabored - the way they permitted the team to recycle identical animation sequences, multiple times per episode, was surely a godsend to the production schedule. Yet not all of the budget limitations are so prettily masked:

I’m sure they finished the background art in the...VHS release?

The show is filled with dirty animation, unfinished backgrounds, backgrounds that are a simple color gradient for no clear reason, and so on. It is clear that the Sailor Moon team did not have the resources for every detail - which is why the decision of what details they did choose to prioritize is so interesting.

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What is the point of Sailor Moon? I do believe that shows have “points”; and by that I don’t mean a message or theme but a core appeal to an audience, something specific that they will get out of the show. Almost every show appeals along multiple axes, and Sailor Moon is no exception, but I want to focus on one: aesthetic identification.

If you learn someone is a Sailor Moon fan, there is the obvious follow-up question you have to ask, namely “which Sailor Senshi are you?” It’s the which-Harry-Potter-house-are-you question of anime, a horoscope where you can choose your sign (in this case literally). The premise of this concept is not hard for media to execute on - it is just personality traits and aesthetics grouped together under a label, a basic building block of media and clickbait internet quizzes. Harry Potter, ironically, raised up its memetic question almost by accident, as its focus is so squarely on House Gryffindor that the others are almost forgotten; it was just so mind-bogglingly popular that it didn’t matter.

Sailor Moon, however, takes this concept and allocates so much of its aesthetic budget into making it a centerpiece of the show. Sailor Moon herself is a klutzy, lazy romantic, Sailor Mercury is a shy, earnest bookworm, and so on, with none of them ever really becoming very complex characters. However, the show devotes itself to making you *feel* these archetypes as strongly and intricately as possible. All of those outfit changes are chosen because not only do real girls care about their outfits and can therefore identify more strongly with characters who do the same, but so they can constantly emulate their archetype in diverse, different ways. The show doesn't have the budget for intense action scenes, so after Sailor Moon engages in her hyper-serious transformation sequences, she proceeds to, nearly every time, bumble through the combat scenes like this:

Oh sure, the scenes are done this way because it is funny (and good comedy can be done on any budget - these shots are frequently still frames with motion lines!), but it is also done this way because Sailor Moon is a total screw-up, and if you identify with that it is validating to see someone “just like you” able to pull off wins despite it all. The transformation sequences are not only beautiful animation that showcases aspirational power, but are also crafted to highlight the personalities of the Senshi in question - unless you think aggressive, combative Rei got fire powers by coincidence. Half of the run-time of every episode is spent, not on the plot du-jour, but on light-hearted personal squabbles between the cast because those scenes are not just funny, but also allow for far more moments of character expression.

All of that work pays off in building with the audience, not a connection with a character who reflects their identity in total, but a connection that reflects one aspect of their identity in an extremely deep (dare I say multifaceted?) way. I think if you were to describe Sailor Moon as a “shallow” show, you would actually be right to say so, in a sense. These characters will never have the true depth of personality, themes and so on of a more ‘adult’ show. But those adult shows have to spend their effort somewhere - for all that the themes of say Evangelion or Paranoia Agent are pristinely detailed and impactful, you aren’t ever going to be memorizing the moves of their transformation sequences. The way Sailor Moon committed so strongly to fleshing out the archetypes the Senshi stood for is, I think, one of the keys to how this cast of five became so iconic.

Not even their school uniforms match! They had to spend time in-universe *justifying* this!

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A Final Note:

At least, everything I’ve said here applies to Sailor Moon at its peaks. The show, however, is not one without its stumbles, even in Season 1. This section doesn’t flow into the core essay too well, but I wanted to note it because if you were to watch Sailor Moon today, you might struggle to feel the dynamic outlined above. The biggest culprit here is the length - Season 1 is 46 episodes long, and sections of it most certainly drag. They also take a startlingly long time to introduce the cast - this choice builds tension around their arrival, but it also means the later Senshi get a lot less time to establish themselves. Sailor Venus in particular gets hamstrung by this - she is introduced and then immediately arc plot elements sweep the narrative, and so she is left as a hollow shell for some time. The pacing of the show is undoubtedly flawed.

I think Sailor Moon is a show that you do have to keep its time and place in mind for - namely, middle schoolers and anime nerds watching it on broadcast TV in the 90’s. As an adult you “get” the point of the show pretty quickly, and get satiated on it almost as fast. Watching it all in a few sittings only heightens this problem. For a younger audience, and one that is waiting for a week between episodes with no internet for plot reminders, all that extra time is needed to jog memories and build connections. And younger audiences just have that limitless commitment to the things they love! If you think no one could actually enjoy seeing the same transformation sequence for the 30th time, watch it with someone who would have died for this show when they were 10 and you will be disabused of that notion *very* quickly.

Still, we can’t travel back in time - Sailor Moon is a show of its era. There are “filler-reduced” guides out there, though I caution that the plot of Sailor Moon is absolutely not the point of the show in comparison to the character dynamics, and so sometimes the filler is the best part (Cat-Rhett Butler is the best character in the show YOU KNOW I’M RIGHT). Certainly, however, some method must be used to cut down on its length. If you are going to be a first time viewer in adulthood, that reality should be kept in mind, and if you do accept it for what it is you can really appreciate its core appeal - and don’t forget to finish it off with a 1990′s era internet personality quiz to really wrap it up!

#essay #anime analysis #sailor moon

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