#it's not like the teachers are bad it's not like i hate my classmates! it's just so so exhausting and for what

[blood-grove]

— school fights

— dad!ghoap & reader scenario based off my fics here :3

— tws; ofc fighting mentions, injuries , annoying adult (principal)

a/n; this isnt a chapter to odd adjustments just a scenario so pls dont treat this as a next chapter !

Fuck Fuck Fuckkk.

I was so fucking screwed.

But honestly the kid deserved it.

God my fist hurt so damn bad, I just tried rubbing it despite the fact I'm pretty sure I bruised my knuckles pretty badly.

Managed to sock him in the face though god damn it hurt.

I've never really gotten into fights much barely at all really, and it's been good at this school so far.

All into this one fucking kid decided to start fucking up your day for two weeks straight, You didn't even know what you did to cause this.

You weren't the tallest person either which also didn't help your situation Nearly comically shoved in the locker, Always having to quickly rush to your next class just in case the long open hallway would flood and stop up with foot traffic.

The relentless harassment, and the honestly uncreative insults thrown at you.

You just snapped.

John had packed me lunch usually I didn't ask since honestly I never got used to asking for things I felt everything they've gave me so far was enough, I didn't want to be spoiled even though there was a nagging voice saying I wasn't being spoiled.

This sort of parental affection made me feel spoiled, Made me feel like I almost had too much.

The principals voice brought me out of my thoughts.

"Are you listening?!"

No.

"Yes.."

"I've already called both of your parents both of your behaviors were inexcusable- And you? Biting one of your classmates?!"

I slightly flinched.

Yeah I did bite them.

But that was also deserved, I hated this school's stupid no-tolerance policy, Nearly the whole class was there saw it.

They all saw him dump that milk carton on my head my hair still damp, I tried to just walk away but being shoved onto the ground was my final straw as I punched him, and then we were both on the floor he was bigger than me and obviously, And I wasn't made for fighting he had landed a few more hits on me than I had on him.

So I bit him.

Hard.

Then the teachers finally got in threw the small crowd of students and pulled us apart.

"What are you some kind of dog? Do your parents teach you nothing?"

I just stayed silent gripping my pants leg as avoided eye contact, Why was I getting torn into for self-defense? Her shrill voice was getting on my nerves at this point getting to them bad.

I doubted things would go any better if I completely shut down, But eventually, she let up on me and went over to the teary-eyed boy no doubt from my bite of just to gain sympathy I couldn't care.

I just pulled my legs to my chest as he chewed on my lip focused on the ground.

This discussion was just hell, I wanted to throw up, yell, and vomit all once.

We both were getting suspended for a week, You would be put in sperate classes as if that was going to stop any other interaction from happening.

And you were supposed fucking apologize?.

"What?" I spoke up finally as the principal looked over at me Simon looked over at me as well had luckily arrived before the other kids' parent came which would have basically felt like my doom feeling like they were just going to gang up on me and guilt me till he came.

"You bit another student-"

"He dumped milk on me he's been fucking with me for two weeks!"

"Watch your language-"

"I-" I stopped as Simon slightly glanced over at me and I just gave up at that point as I bit my lip nearly crumbling up the apology paper I was given.

I was sniffling quietly by the time we left the office.

"Wait here." Simon finally said something as he headed back into the office leaving me to sit down on a nearby bench as I sniffled tears streaming down my face.

Simon came back out a few minutes later.

"Where's the paper?" Simon looked over at me as I handed him the paper as he just ripped it up tossing it into the trash.

"Why'd you do that?-"

"Do you want to go get ice cream?"

"..Yeah."

"Ow"

"Sorry.." Simon mumbled as he wrapped up my bruised knuckles and hand, My other holding my ice cream cone.

"Well get it wrapped up in ice at home.." I just nodded as he shifted getting up from his crouched position and picking up his own cup of ice cream.

He sat back down and we sat in silince for a while as we ate out ice cream.

"..Are you upset?"

He glanced over at me.

"Yes."

"I-"

"For not telling us you were being bullied."

"Well..I..I just thought.." I just sighed I went quiet looking away I could hear him shift taking another spoonful of ice cream.

"..If it happens again tell me.." I looked over at him as he shifted.

"You don't have to write that apology letter.."

"W-Well you ripped it up so..Yeah I thought so.."

"I'm going to the gym tomorrow.."

He paused as he shifted as he got up to throw away his ice cream cup.

"I want you too come."

"I-..Why..?"

"So I can teach you how to punch someone properly."

a/n; idk what to put here so this is it lmao

#call of duty #simon ghost riley #dad simon riley #reader #simon riley #child reader #gn reader #gender neutral reader #cod

[jewish-vents]

I can't with this anymore uhhhhhhggggg

"AITAH for creating a private doc to keep notes on what my racist teacher said"

I have this teacher who said a lot of shit (eg. "Ashkenazi people were Europeans forcefully converted by invading Jews", "the Torah mentions Jesus and Mohammed", "Judaism started in Ethiopia because it's the oldest religion and therefore must come from where all people do", "getting angry at Houthis for attacking Israel is like getting angry at a l*nched man for struggling on the noose", etc.). No one cared that she said these things besides a boy she kept deadnaming, a girl who she used as an example talking about slave r*pe, and a kid who she humiliated in front of the class a few times.

When I reported this shit to the dean he was concerned as fuck and 100000% on my side because he's really cool. And to report the stuff, I'd been using a private google doc to keep track of what she'd said. The principal though was overly optimistic and decided instead of talking to the teacher in private, she would hold a class discussion! Yaaaaaaayyyyyyy. I was less than pleased by this, and at the discussion most people took her side. I eventually decided to share the doc with the other three kids so I could get better firsthand accounts.

But then the doc started spreading.

One of the other kids shared it with this boy who she used to mock and throw under the bus, and he shared it with his friend. Who shared it with another friend. Things went like whisper-down-the-lane until someone, I don't know WHO, got a hold of it and shared it to the whole. Fucking. Class. Including the teacher. People started claiming the doc was Islamophobic and didn't elaborate why, and saying we were only "attacking" the teacher because she was Muslim. Or that we only reported this stuff to get drama and attention. The principal herself even said that this was happening because we have varying cultures, which is BS because I have plenty of Muslim friends who have never said ANY of the shit this lady has. That is waaaayyyy more Islamophobic of a statement and I felt offended on my friends' behalf with that one.

I feel bad for the teacher for seeing that doc, but then again, I myself am suffering because someone leaked all my personal opinions to the class. I'm a super conflict avoidant person because I have severe ADHD and OCD and mild autism (ASD1, to be specific), and I hate being involved. I want to sympathize for her. I really do. But when asked to apologize for what she said, she started defending herself and saying we were all closed-minded for not thinking what we previously thought was wrong. My mom wants to take me out of the class to do an independent study project so I can pass the required course without being in that classroom. Because nothing gets in the way of Jewish parents. Especially during Passover.

My classmates are saying she's a sweet lady and it was wrong of us to get upset at her, so are we the bad guys and/or am I overreacting to this scenario.

Anon I'm going to be very honest here. You are absolutely NTA here. And you're not overreacting at all. Your teacher is being very offensive, not to mention historically wrong.

And the doc? If she didn't want to have her offensive opinions called out in front of everyone, maybe she should stop being offensive.

I'm going to say, personally if she were my teacher the doc would be the least of her problems. She would not like me very much.

I hope you're safe tho, you and the other students she's hurt. You don't deserve to be treated like this

-🐺

#jewish vents #antisemitism #leftist antisemitism

[hammill-goes-fogwalking]

I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI.

#not dislike. its hate #it made me cry several times today #thinking of how my classmates manipulate our teachers #and chatgpt AIs can EVERYTHING #its so painful to think of it #today I broke down in the bus and cried #idc what people think. hiding my feelings any longer would destroy me from the inside #maybe youve also seen how people use freakin AIs in their exams #the thing is that: #we wrote an exam for which Ive studies for like 2 whole days #this week we finally got the exams back (w the grades ofc) #and ok Ive got a 3 (C in America syste #*m) #my friends who used chatgpt throughout the exam got way better grades (I didnt expect it otherwise) #PLUS #the most provocating messages from the teacher: #“10/10 POINTS :)” “YOURE ROCKING THIS” “YEAH” #💔 #seriously #this breaks my heart #dont the teacher see something suspect in the exam?! #why cant they open their eyes and get modernized to reality. #& they KNOW- the students Im talking of. they usally have bad results. #once our teacher came to a chatgpt student and said the most miserable thing: #“youve been using duolingo a lot lately hm? thats where your nice grades come from 😉🥰” #you get it? #no- this peoson didnt learn. #no- this person isnt even interested in the stuff we learn in lessons #AWFUL feeling to hear the praisings of da teachers when *I* gotta sit among the gpt-students and look like Im a worse student than *them* #[writing this at almost 1 at night] still have some tears. this topic really has the power to destroy someones day. 💔💔

[silenthillbunni]

📓🕯️🐇🖤

#just a little diary dump: #i've contacted my school therapist again. asked for help regarding anxiety abt schoolwork since i dont get any other treatment #she said she can help me go thru if there are other options since neither psychiatric nor healthcare center will help me #+ she said that she and i can talk abt my anxiety regarding school etc. so in two weeks i'll see her #school starts next week. 4days a week rip... lol thats much for me. a bum. a cellar dweller. i've decided that im gnna go to all my classes #and always work while im there since its harder for me to do it at home. and i will also talk more w my teacher nd ask them for help #then im looking into an online therapy service. it miiight be possible for me to do that. but then i have to contact them and focus on only #1 or 2 issues. in my experience it just doesnt work to go to them and be like everythings bad :(( they wont help u then. i have to narrow it #down for them. nd i'll think i will talk 2 them abt my extreme feelings of loneliness and also my procrastination behavior #but yeah i have no idea if it's possibly bc idk if i can get financial aid for that service. im still in contact w the healthcare center so #i hope she will come to some sort of conclusion nd not just leave my high nd dry (she sent another referral to the persobality disorder - #clinic. even if they rejected the first one. so i'll see) #hmmm yeah. the situation w my sisters is sooooo rough. i hate it. they make me feel so so bad #and the housing situation is roughhhh. it's impossible to get an apartment lol. #so i need to find a way to shut it off and try to not let it bother me #just focus on finishing upper secondary school. nd i've been thinking abt taking out a loan for it and take german/french/spanish classes #instead of doing what im doing now when im actually poor and stressed bc they can choose to cut me off anytime #im meeting my highschool friend on tuesday. she asked if i wanted to hang out for a bit c: #im a bit anxious but like yeah.. it's nice to get out and talk to someone besides my family. which is just my mom lol #i messaged my other old highschool classmate on insta and said i saw her in my neighborhood #she replied but i had lowkeyyy hoped for more... like maybe being able to befriend her T-T but she didnt seem so interested in talking to me #which is ok ofc. it just made me a bit sad bc idk how to make friends and i thought she was rlly nice. but oh well #im rlly sad atm. maybe heartbreak prob. even more sad bc it was my stupid fault but yeah #im still grateful for all that it gave me. nd how i got to experience feelings of warmth nd love nd appreciation i didnt know i could feel #so even if im just contantly heavily sad bc i keep being like oh. i wanna ask this. say that. wonder what theyre up to. etc etc. i just have #to... be sad and just keep going forward #hope and try to not fuck everything else up. even if it feels like... what do all the other things matter when what i rlly rlly wanted got #ruined..... thats life tho. i know. im just so bad at handling life :(( #i feel so broken and confused and i hate that i didnt get to be normal and healthy #im so illequipped at dealing w myself nd my emotions nd there seems to be no professional help for me

[ruffgem]

group work is Not It. I should have known better than to enroll in an engagement course that involves planning workshops with a group of other students……. guess who is doing all the work! :^) Back in tha day my teachers called me a ‘natural leader’… fun fact!!!! I am actually not! I do not like being in charge! it is actually just that people take advantage of me! Hope this helps

#God. I wanted to take the class so bad bc it’s about the history of art in prison systems #and it involves a weekly art workshop in a prison #the group that runs it is pretty blatantly abolitionist and partially run by formerly incarcerated ppl #so it’s made pretty clear that we're not ‘teaching’ art bc thats weird and enforcing a hierarchy if ur a 'teacher' #its more like a way to get materials inside and basically hang out with and make art alongside incarcerated ppl #under the guise of ‘volunteering’ as the dept of corrections labels it #anyway that’s all off topic but basically I am doing all the fucking work lmao we’re supposed to go in for the first time tomorrow and #my group members suck shit at communicating and the person who’s supposed to drive is like radio silent whenever I ask #where we should meet and shit #FUCK!!! I hate logistical shit like this #its taken us a million years to get cleared by the system (on purpose i stg) so its literally midterm time and we havent gotten in yet #i swear if our first one gets jeopardized by this girl who refuses to check her damn texts or emails or even come to class im gonna be so #pissed. lmfao #goddddd this is giving me flashbacks to when i took the class where we were supposed to do workshops at an elementary school #different vibe because in that scenario it was definitely supposed to be educational and we lowkey were 'teachers' #but my classmates also didnt do shit and i also ended up doing literally everything #WHY TAKE A CLASS LIKE THIS IF U DONT WANNA DO IT LIKE SERIOUS QUESTION #maybe they just want to put it on their resume LOL #they need a vetting process for this class i stg like interview these bitches before they enroll #cuz some of these people fr do not care

[fridayiminlcve]

god i fucking hate college

#it's not like the teachers are bad it's not like i hate my classmates! it's just so so exhausting and for what #they have four classes a day 2hr*1 and 1.5hr*3 #we have to reach at 7am i usually go by the public bus which is either at 6:27am or 7:02am so obviously i hate 6:27 #and the bus stop is a 6 minute walk and on the other side of the road! the bus station is also liks a 10min walk from college! #which SOUNDS less but im a pretty fast walker so 300m+700m in the morning itself not counting the four flights of stairs! at 6:40am! #AND these bitches have the audacity to keep four classes a day out of which 2 are revision or doubt solving classes #but of course it's been two weeks since school so they're still not giving much work! it's only coaching! and it fucking sucks!!!! #because we haven't studied as much yet that we'll be stuck with doubts so without a question we waste a period or two just doing #ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING #it's so so exhausting i hate it #and where i live they do call jr year and sr year of school as jr college but there's nothing collegey about it except the no dress code #so they don't let you leave the campus early😃😃 it's so fucking tiring i want to scream in their face what are they thinking #don't keep doubts sessions so early on in the year for the love of god #delete later

[deanpinterester]

sometimes i think about the time i failed a midterm (and i mean failed in a literal sense, not like "aw i got a B+") while i was in an enriched high school program where everyone else was getting A's. in hindsight it should have been clear i needed help and i was struggling. but all the teacher said was to try harder next time

#uhhhh me #when i say i hated high school i'm usually just taklking abt the years i was in this program lol #i don't even know how i got in. i felt so alone when my grades couldn't match up to everyone else's #i didn't know how i was supposed to talk to my classmates about it because they all seem to just Get it and i just didn't #AND LIKE. i didn't even get a stern talking to by the teachers or principal or anyone #teacher just said 'wow you really don't like this class huh' as she handed the test back to me #and i had to seek her out MYSELF afterward to ask how i could make up my grades #genuinely wondering if a student's grade suddenly dropped like that isn't it a cause for worry #or had my grades been slipping so casually that they just assumed i was slacking off #oh ya to be clear it wasn't like something bad happened in my personal life or anything #i just had a rly rly hard time focusing on subjects i couldn't logic my way through (that being history and english) #(math was easy to get through bc there are formulas) #eventually i did figure out a way to properly study for tests #but like. i feel like the teacher upon seeing my failing grade could have offered me some studying strategies? idk #i don't rly resent her for it but at the same time. WOWIE that was such a shitty time in high school

[reginrokkr]

Today I officially finished the finals and with it, classes until September save for next Tuesday that I have to go for an hour for a internship talk. I'll go rest a bit to calm this headache of mine and I will start to tackle down things I owe here.

#◟༺✦༻◞ what lays behind the mantle of faux stars ┊ooc.┊ #I hate how bitter I feel and salty #over a teacher #who I'm sure that underrated my test #specially because I saw her helping a couple of classmates #and I did everything on my own #thankfully the grade isn't bad #as it is a 9'2/10 #but that grade is too low for how well the test went #and for all I wrote there #my father told me to let it be #as it's still a really good grade #otherwise most likely I would've gone back #to complain because this is unfair #anyway sorry for the ramble #I'll be back later after I rested a bit #and after I calm myself

[salsflore]

going to sleep soon ～ let me get some things off my chest here.... my eyes are super itchy again (fell into the trap of snuggling my cat even when i swore i wouldn't do it again)

#cw vent #this is bc i have a math exam tmrw I’M SORRYYY i feel some kind of way about that #this is the first exam where i am near confident i will fail. and its just kinda sucky #my mental maths is really poor and due to the fact i skipped grades (unable to afford Education) i don’t know a lot of things my peers know #my results as they are right now? theyre genuinely ok. not bad. but theres still gaps made by the years of missing out on school #this is one of them #its so embarrassing having my classmate look at me weirdly when i ask her about something that should totally be obvious or #something silly like that. i don’t know. its especially hard for me to be interested in maths because my old maths teacher has #literally fucked me up i’m so intimidated by every math teacher ever and i just hate the feeling of being stupid or whatever #i don’t enjoy being comforted by A+ students bc theyre like cmonn its totally fine!! i relate i got a 39/40 :( #or my friends who make jokes about how stupid i am and its just aghhh #its already been almost a year since ive enrolled in school again but i still feel so out of place #so miserable i could just die #so miserable i think i SHOULD die #and i'm just nervous about getting an absolute 0. failing my first test made me want to literally kill myself #sorry for being dramatic but when you have a sister whos awards and certificates fill your house shelf its kind of like........ #aghhhh!!!! maybe i should just accept that i'm good for nothing at all!!!!!! #not that great with numbers or formulas. probably not that great at writing either. nor am i as eloquent as i'd like to be ～ #not artistically inclined. science is a bore. not ~ naturally ~ adept with neither languages nor history! psychology! economics! sports! #forgive me for not being able to do anything good at all ... zzz

[celticwoman]

i made brownies :]

#to bring to my english class later today since it's my last class ever #bc i have my exam on saturday (which makes me feel like i'm about to piss myself) #anyways back to the brownies they're not the best sadly but they're not bad #they're a bit dry and my mom insisted on putting some chocolate pieces and they burnt a little #but they're yummy AND i made them myself so i hope my classmates & teacher like them #if they don't i might cry just a little #anyways i'm trying to think and do anything possible to avoid thinking about saturday lol #i'm soooo nervous i hate exams #whatever i'm gonna take a nap before class now #cami.txt

[darkredmage]

How come every time I tried to kill myself the next day is shitty and make me regret not actually being successful at that

#suicide tw #vent #oh boy hre we go #i dont really remember much from yesterday but god i wanna die so bad #and all i remember was that i felt fucked up and tried to do find the perfect time to kill myself while i just sat in my room and hating #- everything i do and how much of a fucking useless shit i am and how im quite literally only breathing and feel completely dead inside #but goddamnit im sorry to say this to you all but once again i failed to kill myself #my parents came back home from doing taxes i guess and i was basically forced by my sibling calling out from my room to help carry stuff #i think??? #but for some reason i feel like its ny dad the reason why but that argument he had with my mom could be from saturday????? #or sunday #god i just feel so lifeless today #and school was fucking miserable #with ny stupid ass having a hard time trying to filter out ny classmates talking while teachers are learning #theres a physical education test that fucking wrecked my lungs #and theres this fucking complex of an assignment i beed to do today for tomorrow #and the way she explains was fucking hard for me to process and i was basically overwhelmed from the whole shit #and all i could think was 'why didnt i actually kill myself last night' #before i remember Why that didnt happen

[jino-stuff]

If I thought I struggled with ableism before I moved out then I wasn't at all prepared to the ableism I'm facing in a big city 🙄

Why are you so quirky? Why you move so much? Why you speak weirdly? Why you gesticulate too much with your body when you speak? Why are you so clownish? AAAAAAAA STOPPPP!!!!!

Stop fucking demanding me to be 'normal'!!!!

#i fucking hate it so much #could you PLEASE just SHUT UP!? #ableism #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #adhd #YES I FUCKING MOVE ALL THE DAMN TIME #adhd brain #and i don't know how to tell my boss to just shut up about it bc she's not even being mean but it triggers me #and my boss is around 80yo so she wouldn't understand and i prefer to be the clown teacher than the fired teacher... #and the school is full of nd kids and the other teachers calls them out all the damn time!!! like #and one of the little girls was crying so bad bc of the noise and they scolded her for trying to run away and she was CRYING!! and then- #proceeded to be surprised when i calmed her down and she stopped crying and ate her food and went with her classmates for the recess and #the only thing i did was listen to her!!!! (and guide her through breathing exercises)

[snekdood]

if i could memorize shit good id be a great actor

#sdsdhjvvfsdcfdsggsfdvfdghssvhgdhvgfds #that was my biggest problem as a kid. i just like. couldnt memorize my lines for shit ever. #but. the passion. the comedy. the drama. it was there. #i played a minor role in a play and improvised and everyone laughed even though my teacher got mad at me sdhjbfshgdsvgf #its not about 'if i could just be the main actor id be famous' #its about 'if i could memorize my lines at all maybe i'd be the main actor' fsdhjbvgfdshgvsdghfdshvgfdssdhj #i think being nervous + a lack of passion for whichever play i was in + hating my classmates + my teachers never having faith in me anyways #and hating me bc im failing in my other classes + shitty home situation that gave me ptsd kinda makes it hard to wanna memorize lines #why should i memorize lines for a guy who already seems disappointed in me. #but memorizing shit is hard for me. idk if im bad at memorizing bc of ptsd or adhd or what but the ptsd definitely didn't help #nor did the having classmates-who-hate-me-and-make-fun-of-me thing #last thing kid me needed was to never hear the end of it from someone else

[anewbrainjughead]

my brother bumped into one of my primary school friends outside a pub tonight and he was going on about how sound and friendly he was and how he said a lot of really genuine and nice things about me, and im surprised how happy its made me to hear that i'm remembered fondly.

#also vindicating to hear someone gush abt how great he is after I spent my childhood trying to get my peers and teachers to believe that #even when he was briefly in high school with me and hung out with piece of shit boys i hated he was always nice to me #even though i was too mentally ill to really have a conversation with #and even then our one other classmate who went to my high school was still talking abt him like he was a bad seed or something #also he was hitting on me and my brothers mutual friend which is funny #she kept saying that he was good looking which is fun but like gross. #we used to play in the toy kitchen in the back of our p1 class together. he cant be hot hes just an old friend #anyways. happy to know he remembers me and vidicating to know i was right to defend him #anewbrainjughead

[strawbebyjam]

need someone to take the ex RO trope away from me

#every single time i’m like Yes. Yes This Is Helping. Yes I Feel Stronger. Y- [passes out sobbing] #i mean it’s delicious angst but i’m a hurtcomfort demon and hurtcomfort is not the genre of my life so it just ends up making me feel crappy #but it’s sooooooooooo. like i love it. and the. like the lingering sense of But Maybe and the way it’s validated in games. and th- #like i need someone to come over and blacklist all lovers to strangers to lovers content it is NOT good for me ‼️ [continues reading] #anyways everything feels bad again and i can’t do anything about it and my escapism all reminds me of it and the news is horrible and home #is horrible and uni is horrible and social stuff is horrible #and being this hopeless and negative about everything makes me feel entirely un-myself but i haven’t been myself in weeks #and i don’t know what being myself looks like in tbe midst of all this #and i’m working really hard to be good about it but then i think like this and it crumbles HDJDHD #going to my highschool reunion tomorrow where not a single teacher or classmate will remember or recognize me. that’s exciting #also been repeatedlyjaving the thought that id just be fine with it now to be some random mans nonsexualhousewife. family would ve happy. #and i wouldnt have 2 get a job and id just have to take care of a house. like as long as i can find sum1 who doesnt want sex it could work #and id never have to worry abt being alone again even if itd suck and id hate myself forever. but no job. n happy family #idk i promised myself i wouldnt like. give up like this. but i dontsee any other situation that doesnt end in me #like left entirely alone? i either give up family for the possibility of a fulfilling life as a lesbian but only certain ill be alone #or i try and make the best of things and make like. doing what they want. livable #anyways. back to the same dilemma as 14 year old me but this time knlwing im a lesbian and not bi. so theres not even a chance ill be happy #fun times #mano.mindtalk #neg

[luxieloo]

still thinking about how my intercomms teacher stopped me after class to ask me what she's doing wrong. she reminds me of my senior english teacher in the worst way.

#♡ ; rants ! #♡ ; cj's college arc ! #can my classmates at least pretend to be interested so teachers stop treating me like i'm a holy person #i hate being treated like this perfect example of a student when i have to be like that or i will be treated like a bad person #(< i have audhd i'm physically disabled i'm mentally ill and if my teachers don't think i care 100% then i am treated poorly) #that's on ableism!