#it's my final essay and it's due today but i haven't started any of it because i'm lowkey an idiot sjkdfhgsjk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tangledinink · 1 year

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whoa, i wrote a thing. the first chapter of my tmnt "sorry, teenage mutant what now?" au is live on ao3, or can be read below the cut!!! complete with sketchy title card and dumb chapter title. do i have any real experience writing fics??? no!!! am i gonna do my best anyway!?!? yes i am!!!

“Did you drink all the milk AGAIN!? Dude!—"

“What?! You know I need an exact milk-to-rice-chex ratio in order to enjoy my breakfast, Leo!”

“Have any of you seen my dance bag? It’s not where I left it!”

“Why do you need it, anyway? Isn’t dance on Thursday?”

“Leo, today is Thursday.”

“What? No, it’s not. If it was Thursday, then my American Literature essay would be due, and I haven’t even started it yet, so there’s NO WAY—“

“If my toaster is destroyed, I will be making whichever child is responsible pay for the replacement!” The warning rang out over the general chaos of the morning.

“Oh shoot—“ Yoshi could hear the frantic scrabble of a belated attempt to rescue the burning pop tart, which Yoshi could smell from all the way in the living room. Parked in his reclining chair, the TV playing in front of him, he munched contentedly on his own breakfast which he had acquired earlier before his teenage sons descended upon the kitchen. He was not much of a ‘morning person,’ but it was a necessity if he was to eat in any sort of peace in the mornings.

This was a typical morning in the Hamato household.

Yoshi was used to it by now. The bickering, the bumbling, the hectic last-minute "wait I forgot something's--" it was all just a part of the routine. Sure, it had been a bit exhausting at times when they were all still children, and he had to scramble about like a madman each morning to ensure they had everything they needed to get where they were going. But at this point? He could more or less just ignore them and allow them to work things out by themselves, only occasionally needing to step in and offer a bit of guidance. He had always been a bit of a... Hands-off parent, for better or for worse, but he was fairly certain that he had finally found the rhythm of things over the past several years. Not that that made him a perfect parent by any means, there had certainly been plenty of occasions--

"APRIIIIILLLLLL O'NEIL!!!" The battle cry and hearty thud of his poor front door put a sudden end to his narration, and, though it happened near every day, he startled in response, just barely avoiding dropping his tea.

"April!" He bellowed from his chair, turning just enough to peer into the kitchen, where his honorary fifth child (as if he needed any more…) and next-door neighbor had just appeared. "How many times must I tell you?! If you break my door, I will--!"

"Aw, c'mon, Yosh, you know I gotta make a bold entrance at the start of the morning, or my mojo is gonna be off for the whole rest of the day! Besides, I haven't broken the door yet, and it's been how many years?"

“Bah! Haven't broken my door yet, maybe, but what about my bed frame? Or my printer? Or my third-favorite koi fish figurine?!"

"Oh, you wanna play that game now?" O'Neil countered, narrowing his eyes behind scarlet frames, crossing her arms across her chest and cocking one hip to the side. "Okay, then, how about my window? Or my mom's antique vase? Or my literal entire bathroom--"

"Okay! Okay, enough!" Yoshi spluttered with a dismissive wave of his hands. Dammit. The fact he was technically responsible for his sons’ occasional partaking in light property destruction was still, in his opinion, the most unfair and annoying part of parenting. "Fine! Break down the door for all I care! Burn the entire place to the ground! See if I do anything about it! Teenagers..." He muttered with a scowl, shaking his head and returning to his program, an exaggerated scowl on his face. The kids, to their credit, knew well enough by now not to take his rants and mumblings too seriously and quickly re-engaged themselves in whatever gossip and chatter they had previously been wrapped up in.

Yoshi smiled just the tiniest bit, listening with one ear as Donatello explained to a devastated Leonardo that it was, in fact, Thursday, bringing up evidence on his cell phone, and Raphael and April pulled Mikey's dance bag out from inside the oven, where he had forgotten it for the third time this past month.

This was not where he had imagined his life would take him when he was young. Not even close.

He would not trade these moments for anything at all.

By the time his television show was ending, he was just finishing off his tea and shoveling the rest of his bagel into his mouth. Game shows, he had found years ago, were an excellent means of timing routines, and he had it to a science by now. He pulled himself to his feet, stretching and cracking his back loud enough that his children yelled at him from the kitchen, before shuffling his way into the kitchen to begin the work of chasing the teenagers out the door.

"Alright, come on, shoo shoo! You are all going to miss the subway and be late!" He scolded, occasionally swatting at a stray child with his sleeves. "And do not forget anything, because I will not bring it to you!"

"Dad--" Leo began, his eyes blown up huge and pleading. "I don't feel well, I'm pretty sure I've got, like, a tummy bug, or something? Sooo, I should, like, probably stay home--"

"You are not skipping school just because you forgot to do an assignment." Yoshi immediately responded.

"What?! Noooo, Daddy, please, I'm really sick!"

"I was not born yesterday." He scoffed, shooting his son an unimpressed look. "And I have seen you do assignments in far less time! Besides, I'm sure April and your brothers would be happy to help."

A chorus of groans rang from around the table.

“Enough bellyaching! Come on, out of my house! Let's go, chop chop! Anyone who stays home today will be giving me a pedicure!”

That threat always worked. On cue, everyone fell into action. The boys gulped down any remaining breakfast still left uneaten, (whether it was theirs or not,) in between conversations, TikTok videos, and, in Leo's case, loud mourning about the day of the week. Donatello began to long process of buckling up the seventeen different straps on his chunky boots, Michaelangelo passed out lunches to each of his family members, narrating his culinary decisions as he went, and Raphael hurriedly tossed bowls, spoons, and plates into the dishwasher with clatters and clunks.

"I can't find my eyeliner pen-- Nardo, did you steal it? Did you go through my bag?! You DID, didn’t you!!! I am going to delete all of your Minecraft save files--"

"What?! I cannot believe you would make such an accusation, I would never stop to such petty thievery--"

"Mikey, hurry up and grab your skateboard if you're gonna--"

"OW, Dad, Donnie pulled my hair!"

"Oh, what are you, five?"

"HEY, both of you knock it off because Raph makes ya!”

"Wait, did we have a quiz in geometry today--? Because I did not study!!! Raph, this note had better be a joke--!"

After a few final moments of mayhem, Yoshi finally managed to get all five high schoolers out the door, closing the door firmly behind them with a loud sigh.

He loved his children. Truly, he did. But thank god for school.

Grumbling a bit to himself, he got to work straightening the remaining mess left behind. His sons were more than old enough to clean up after themselves and help out around the house, but that still didn't necessarily mean they did it particularly well. Maybe by their late twenties, they'd start to figure that out, if they were anything like their father. He swept up spare crumbs and wiped down the table, putting cereal boxes away in the pantry where they belonged and closing cabinet doors left open.

Boys.

Truthfully, he had very little room to complain and he knew it. Compared to the first four years of parenthood, things were a breeze. Sure, there was still plenty of work to do, but aside from the occasional exhausting day or difficult conversation, he could practically just put things on autopilot by now. He could hardly imagine how his younger self used to get through each day.

Well, perhaps he could, because, if he was being completely honest, he didn't really "get through" most days back then as much as he was bodily dragged in and out of them. But he had realized long ago that lingering on his past shortcomings was not in anyone's best interest.

With school, extracurriculars, friends and neighbors, babysitters, and a shit-ton of parenting classes on his side now, in addition to the general concept of the passage of time, given that his children were no longer children and now teenagers, he had at his disposal something that he had not had even a scrap of for years before "the move."

Free time.

It had been nearly ten years since "the move." Ten years since he and his sons had donned these disguises and bodily forced their way back into society on the back of lies and forged paperwork. Or, well, he had forced his way back into society. His children were just along for the ride-- and new to it all.

Not that you would be able to tell now, he thought to himself, smiling ever so slightly. Ten years… They had lived this way for a long time now.

It had been so long… Some days, he nearly forgot that he was anything but a man.

--------

"Donnie, here, it's your turn."

Donatello sighed loudly, pausing in whatever he was doing on his phone, (Scrolling through Twitter? Purchasing uranium off the dark web? They were equally likely,) but accepting the laptop shoved into his hands anyway.

"Why am I getting the impression that my turns are longer than everyone else's?" He questioned, his brows pinched with gentle annoyance as he glanced at the other four, all piled together on the subway. There wasn’t enough space for all of them, but even finding a couple of open seats was a near miracle this time of day, so they could make do. Stacking Mikey on Raph's shoulders and denying Leo a place to sit, seeing how it was his American Literature essay that they were taking turns writing, did the trick.

"Because you're the smart one," Leo said, his arms wrapped around the nearest subway pole, leaning so he could read over their shoulder. "This is the consequence of referring to yourself as a 'genius' all the time."

"I'm pretty sure I've always made it very clear that I'm a man of science, not literature." Donnie quipped in reply, even as he hunched over the screen, his fingers tick-tacking across the keys.

"Hey, I'm helping too! That whole third paragraph is mostly me." April protested, crossing her arms and slumping against Donnie, purposefully jostling them a bit in retaliation.

"Me too!" Mikey chirped from atop his brother's shoulders, slumped forward to avoid smacking his head on the roof. "I changed all the punctuation to fourteen-point font to make it longer!”

"Smart." Donnie hummed, not looking up, in such a tone that it wasn't quite clear if he meant it or not. Mikey beamed at the praise nonetheless, a bright grin lighting up his face as he crossed his arms over his brother's forehead.

"Look, it doesn't have to be good. It's just gotta be three pages before third period." Leo said. "I mean, Donnie could also always just hack into the school's gr—“

"Hey!" Raph barked. "We all agreed that that was for emergencies only!"

"Okay, okay, fine!" Leo sighed, a bit of sulkiness saturating his voice, holding his hands up in mock surrender. He reluctantly accepted the laptop when it was passed back over to him, propping up a knee to balance it on and hunching over to type.

"I thought Mikey set up that whole system with you. With the reminders and that agenda app and everything?" April questioned, glancing up at Leo curiously-- perhaps suspiciously.

"He did. I've just been..." He paused, hesitating in his words for just a second. "Busy."

"Oh no." April groaned.

"Not again." Donnie sighed.

"Who is it this time?" Raph asked, quirking a brow.

"What! I have noooo idea what you guys are talking about--"

"Leo."

"Okay, fine. Chase DeFerro." Leo muttered, his eyes immediately flicking to the side to avoid the inevitable reactions of his family.

"Chase DeFerro?"

"The same Chase DeFerro from five months ago?"

"Didn't you two have, like, a horrible break-up?"

"Didn't you block him on, like… Everything?"

"Didn't you say, and I quote, "If I ever have to even see that nasty bitch again in my entire life, it'll be too soon, and I swear to god I'll chop off--"

"Okay, okay! Hey, come on! That was five months ago. Things are, like, totalllyyyy different now!" Leo insisted.

“You said that about the last, like, three guys you’ve dated,” April said, unimpressed.

"Leo, have you ever stopped to consider that, perhaps, your need to constantly be in some kind of a relationship may have some kind of deeper connection to your own feelings of self-worth and the way that you assign value to--"

"Whoa there, Doctor Feelings! Chill! It's not that deep!" Leo scoffed, shooting Mikey an annoyed look. Ugh, he knew he shouldn't have brought it up. "Seriously. I'm just bored, okay? Quit trying to read into it."

"Bored?" Raph echoed, looking at the other with big eyes. "Leo, you can't treat love like it's a game like that! Come on!"

"It's not love, Raph, it's high school dating." Leo scoffed, giving a dismissive wave of his hand. “Anyway! Look, I'm only, like, fifty words short and then I'm home free. Who's got the next turn?"

"Fine." April sighed, rolling her eyes. “Only because your girl here writes a killer BS essay conclusion. But you owe me. Hand it over."

True to her word, the last-minute literature assignment was wrapped up shortly, and the remainder of the train ride was instead occupied by chatter and gossip, discussing upcoming tests and assignments in school, rumors circulating the hallways, and plans for weekends and far-off holidays. On the occasion it got too loud to hear each other properly, they’d sign to each other instead, and then switch back once it quieted down once more. The five scrambled their way off the subway when they arrived at their stop, making their way up the stairs and back to street level.

Leo inhaled deeply as he hopped up the final few stairs, his sneakers giving a satisfying thud on the concrete below them with each step. He had no complaints about the subway, (well, no more than the average person, anyway,) but there was always just something especially refreshing about getting to breathe fresh air after spending any amount of time underground. Even if the fresh air was New York City air. Call him crazy, but he'd never get tired of it.

The group began the final length of their journey, closing the three-block gap between the subway station and their high school-- most of them on foot, Mikey on his skateboard, though he was less skateboarding and more standing on his skateboard and hanging onto the back of Raph's shirt so his older brother would drag him along. Leo wondered absently if he could get away with that, too, before April's voice finally snapped him back into reality.

"You busy after school today?"

"Until six!" He replied, stretching his arms back to lace his fingers behind his head as they walked. "Dee and I have gymnastics."

“Next competition is tomorrow.” Donnie hummed, not looking up from his phone. "So we're getting in the extra hours."

"You know we've got a rep to uphold!" Leo sing-songed, his mouth stretching into a wide, smug grin. "Gotta keep that flawless record for the rest of the season."

It was very well known, to anyone who ran in such circles, that the Hamato Twins were all but sure to take the top two places in any gymnastics meet that they showed up to-- it was just a question of in what order they would do so. Of all the various sports that they participated in, gymnastics was just about the only one where it was truly a coin flip. The only other two extracurriculars they shared were swimming, where Donnie consistently took first place, and martial arts, where they both knew Leo was more likely to come out on top. But gymnastics? It was anybody's guess, and they flip-flopped from first to second just about every other event. For just a moment, Leo caught his twin's eye-- coz he knew he was thinking the exact same thing right now.

Coz he knew they both wanted to win.

Coz they both wanted to rub it in the other's face.

(Of course, they both also knew that the only reason they got to have this little song-and-dance to begin with was because Mikey was still in the age bracket below them. Wouldn't everyone be just so delighted to finally see the Hamato Twins usurped in the coming season... By another Hamato.)

“And Raph has work… Ugh! Y’all are too damn busy!” April huffed, leaning her head back and wrinkling up her nose.

“I’ve got a little bit of time.” Mikey chimed in, leaning over just enough to offer April a grin. “I don’t gotta be at dance until four. I was gonna go work on that mural I’ve got going up north. Wanna come?”

“Beats sitting at home doing homework.” April reasoned, giving a shrug. “I’m in!”

“Shweet!”

Leo smiled a tiny bit. Though he did, in fact, have complete confidence in his little brother’s ability to traverse the city safely, it was still kind of nice to know he’d be with someone else. If, for no other reason, then to know that Raph would now worry about Mikey at least 80% less during the coming evening.

“Alright,” Speaking of worrisome older brothers, Raph began his typical pre-school speech as they approached the front entrance. “No one be late. No one skip class.” Who, him? What was that pointed look for? He would never… Get caught more than once in a week. “And no one get in any trouble. Don’t do anything Raph wouldn’t do.”

“Yes sir!” The four of them barked in reply as they approached the entrance of their high school. Mostly, they were all just making fun of him. But Leo figured humoring him wouldn’t hurt, especially if it helped him chill a little bit. Raph had always taken his role as “the biggest brother” pretty seriously, ever since they were really little, though Leo wasn’t exactly sure why. He was always the one in charge whenever their dad wasn’t around, and Leo suspected he had a hard time ever completely dropping that mindset.

I mean, don’t get him wrong, Raph was just as capable of fucking around, goofing off, and getting into shit as the rest of them, for sure, he just sometimes wished he could… Relax a little. It wasn’t like anything bad was gonna happen, but Raph always kind of just had this air to him like he was expecting enemies to leap out from behind the corner and attack them at any moment. Like he always had to protect them all. Which Leo could get, sure, but, like… Wouldn’t it be kind of cool if someone did try to start some shit with them or something, just so that they could see the look on their face when they totally kicked their ass? Leo could only imagine it’d be pretty hilarious.

The five of them went their separate ways, parting with various promises to see each other at lunch, after school, at home, etc. April and Raph went one way, Mikey went another, and Leo and Donnie split off in a different direction still, heading towards the East Wing.

And as they cleared the corner, Leo whipped around to face Donnie, stabbing them in the side with a spare elbow. “Last one to homeroom gets second place at gymnastics tomorrow!” He declared, immediately taking off down the hall.

“Wha— Leo! This is unfair, I’m wearing platforms! You know I’m wearing platforms!” Donnie shrieked in protest, even as he broke into a run behind him.

Leo whooped in reply, throwing himself over the railing of the nearest staircase, knowing his twin brother was right on his tail.

-----

“Come on! Harder!!! SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!” Raphael roared, pumping a fist in the air. “LET’S GO! GIVE IT TO ME!”

The gaggle of six-year-olds in the water in front of him, all clinging to the pool wall, giggled loudly in response to his over-the-top encouragement, kicking their legs even harder in a flurry of limbs and dousing him in chlorinated water.

“Whoa, whoa, okay! You gave it to me! I surrender!” Raph chuckled, holding his hands up to shield himself. “Alright, alright. Good job, team! You did great today. Okay, let’s wrap up—“

“Raph! RAPH!”

“What?”

“Raph, we gotta do the ferry!” Penelope, the loudest of his students, insisted, her face all screwed up with determination. The other four children nodded along fervently. “We can’t get out until we do ferry!”

“Oh, RIGHT. Ferry. Sorry, Raph almost forgot!” He chuckled, thunking his own forehead with the butt of his palm, feigning forgetfulness, as if he hadn’t always intended to do their usual wrap-up game. Class ended with a game of “Ferry” every time, without fail, especially given that he touted it as the ‘reward’ that they had to work for each week by following directions and working hard. He shifted slightly in the water, turning his back on the kids still clinging to the wall. “Okay— hop aboard”

The five elementary schoolers squealed in delight, launching themselves off the pool wall to clamber over the teenager instead, climbing over his broad shoulders and hanging off of his arms. Raph gave a soft little ‘oof,’ at the impact, though it was mostly for show, snorting softly in amusement as Penelope all but climbed on top of his head. Reminded him of Mikey.

“Okay— GO!” She shouted once she was sure all her cohorts were fully boarded, the whole group buzzing with excitement despite the fact that they did this every week. Raph gave a soft hum of acknowledgment, slowly setting off on their lap around the pool. In the shallower end, where they started, he didn’t even really have to swim at all— He could just walk with his body lowered enough in the water to give the illusion of swimming. Or, more precisely, the illusion of ‘ferrying.’

“Welcome everybody to Penelope’s Ferry Ride. I’m Penelope, the tour girl. Over there’s the Empire State Building.” Penelope narrated happily from her perch, gesturing to the bleachers. “And over there is the Statue of Liberty.” The pool noodles. “And over there’s the Milky Way. And that’s the, uhhh, the Big Bridge…”

“Wait, how long’s this ferry ride? Raph didn’t sign up for no world tour!” Raph protested teasingly, to which Penelope sharply shushed him before continuing her narration. The other children bubbled with laughter at her increasingly ridiculous tourist attractions and descriptions. Reminded him of Leo and Donnie.

Raph chuckled softly to himself as he moved into the deeper end of the pool, transitioning into an easy breaststroke to keep them all afloat on their way. It was, admittedly, a bit more difficult to swim with five kids on his back than it was on his own, but Raph was a strong swimmer. This was no problem. Besides, it’s not like he was in a rush or anything.

Honestly? This was his favorite part of these lessons. No worrying about everyone paying attention or being involved. No worries about anyone wandering off when he had them all on top of him and undoubtedly accounted for. No stressing about remembering the lesson plan or rules… He could just swim. He knew it sounded dumb, but sometimes, with all the kids piled on top of him like this, he felt like some sort of big plodding swamp creature, floating lazily down the river with the world on his back.

He took his time about it, but he eventually made his full lap around the pool, coming to a stop by the stairs and gently chasing the kids off of his shoulders.

“Alright, come on, squirts. Ferry ride’s over.”

“Nooo!” Penelope whined, clinging to his head. “One more lap! PLEASEEE!”

“Hey, come on, you know the rules! If you don’t listen to Raph, you don’t get a ferry ride next week!” He warned, slowly peeling her off of his back. “Go on. Get outta here.” He insisted, though fondly, smiling a bit as she huffed and scowled… But she got out anyway, joining the rest of the kids running to their parents, all with towels in waiting arms, listening to the children excitedly chatter about what they learned today.

Raph smiled just the tiniest bit. He remembered when they had been that small, taking swim classes here. He, Donnie, and Leo had all been thrilled to take to the water, adoring each and every lesson.

They all loved it— Except Mikey. He recalled listening to his littlest brother scream bloody murder as their father attempted to coax him into the water, trying everything from reason to bribes to threats of consequences.

“You don’t need to like to swim, Michelangelo. But you need to be able to.” He remembered his father saying. “I need to be sure you will be safe if you ever end up in the water by yourself.”

If anyone asked, he’d tell ‘em that he took the job just to make some extra pocket money. But, at least a little bit, that was kinda why. He liked the idea of helping to keep people safe. Even if it was just teaching kids how to doggy paddle.

Doing all the small talk at the end of the lessons with the parents was definitely his least favorite part, however, and he always found himself kind of stammering and stuttering his way through it. After some short, “Oh, yeah, she’s doin’ great!” and “For sure, perfect behavior’s!” tossed at some parents, he was, thankfully, able to duck away into the office, his own towel flung over his shoulders to try to avoid tracking water everywhere.

“All done?” The office receptionist, Jessica, chirped in her usual friendly demeanor, glancing over at the other as he entered.

“Just about. I just gotta clean up as soon as the kids are all gone and we’ll be done.” He replied, ruffling his hair dry.

“Did you remind the parents that we’re closed next week?”

Raph froze.

“… Uhhhh…”

Jessica sighed a bit, glancing over her shoulder to give him a look. “I reminded you before the lesson started!”

“I know! I just— Raph forgot, okay? I can only hold so much stuff in my brain at one time before stuff just starts to fall out! I was thinkin’ about swimming stuff!” He defended. “‘Sides, it was your job to remind me to remind them! So obviously we both dropped the ball.” Jessica didn’t look quite convinced, but Raph was pretty sure his logic was solid. “Can’t we just, like, put up some flyers and send out an email and all that junk?”

Rolling her eyes, Jessica turned back to her computer and began to type. “Yeah, yeah… Can’t really do flyers, but I’m working on that email.”

“Why not? Just put a sign up on the door.”

Jessica looked over at him again, raising a brow. “You haven’t heard about the paper shortage?”

Raph blinked slowly.

“… The what.”

“Yeah! It’s a whole thing. I dunno, I guess there are, like… Paper thieves or whatever robbing all the paper stores and stuff in the city? We haven’t been able to get any new orders in for a few weeks now.” She explained.

“Paper thieves?” He echoed, incredulous. “And they... steal paper.”

“Yeah. They steal paper.”

“Who the heck steals paper?”

“I dunno! I just saw it on the news.” Jessica shrugged. “I guess the police are working on it or whatever.”

“I guess.” Raph said, shrugging a bit, though he still couldn’t help but find the whole thing a bit amusing. I mean, come on. Paper thieves? It was only paper. -------

"Dadddd!" Mikey called as he swung his way into the door, kicking his shoes off into the general direction of the pile where shoes were typically kept, tossing his duffle bag to the side. He'd come back for it later and put it away, he swears. "I'M HOMMMEEE!"

It had been a long day, in between school, painting, and dance practice, so it was almost nine by the time he got home, but he didn't really mind. He liked being busy! If he didn't have stuff to do, it was just, like, all the energy would build up and up and up in all his limbs and his body and his chest like something sticky and hot about to boil over, condensation gathering at the top of his skull, and then he just went kinda crazy. That makes sense, right? He was pretty sure his brothers were kinda like that, too, so he figured it was probably mostly normal. He sometimes wondered if that was why their dad let them sign up for so many after-school activities. The only downside was the limited time leftover to tackle homework and personal projects. Walls weren’t just gonna paint themselves, after all!

"What's for dinner?" He shouted across the house, shucking his backup off and beginning to unpack, collecting his various textbooks and notepads.

"Oh, since you were not home, Michelangelo, I have had no choice but to cook for our family--"

"Dad."

"But do not worry, my son, I am making the most delicious meal--"

"Dad."

"Boiled liver and onions! You boys' favorite! With chopped earthworms, yum yum yum!"

"DAD! You're not funny!" Mikey yelled, even though there was laughter in his voice. Their dad did this bit every time, and he hated how it was always kinda funny.

"Pizza is on the table." His father called back, and Mikey let out an excited cheer.

"YEAH BABY! That's what I was hoping you'd say!" He shouted, hopping up to his feet and beelining it to the kitchen. His brothers had clearly already done a round, based on the empty boxes and missing slices, but he knew they wouldn't dare leave him without his fair share. That's youngest child privilege. They knew damn well that he’d cry at them.

"How was school today, my son?" Dad always asked about school first and everything else second, every time.

"Id'was gooh'." Mikey mumbled, in between the pizza slice already hanging out of his mouth, piling several more slices onto his plate. "We're readin' th' O'ssey--"

"Orange, I cannot understand anything you are saying."

Mikey spit the half-chewed pizza slice back out onto the plate, which earned a really fun look from Dad, and he grinned.

"Sorry! We're reading the Odyssey in English class, which is fine, I guess, but it's kinda a lot to get through, so we're translating it to, like, real human words, annnndddd we gotta do a group project presentation thing, and I like all the people in the group project but you KNOOWWW how group projects are." He reported, rapid-fire, giving a dramatic sigh. "Oh! And I got my Algebra test back and I got! A seventy-nine!"

"Oh! Very good, Mikey. I am glad your studying paid off." His father replied with a small smile, and Mikey beamed. "And how was dance?"

"Awesome! I killed it, as per use'." Mikey said proudly, puffing out his chest a bit. "Miss Vega said that I just gotta tighten up my turns and I'll be all ready to destroy the competition next weekend!"

"Excellent. Good job, Orange." His dad said with a chuckle, patting Mikey's shoulder before making his way back into the living room, no doubt to reunite his butt with his beloved reclining chair and put on some TV series that no one else in the family appreciated. Mikey grabbed three more slices of pizza while his dad’s back was turned, and then scampered off, heading deeper into the apartment.

Considering they lived in New York City, they lived in a pretty spacious abode. Mikey couldn't remember a time in his life when there wasn't lots of room to stretch out and run and jump around. He remembered, back when he was really little, some of the hallways being big and long enough to even echo-- though he sometimes wondered if that had just been his imagination. Some of the stuff they would make up back then was pretty wild. Their dad had bought this big old brownstone apartment way back when they moved into Brooklyn, buying up the entire building so that they had all four floors, plus the basement, to themselves. Mikey recalled, vaguely, all the renovations that had gone into it when they first moved to New York, adjusting the fixer-upper into something where four very active children could be raised without feeling cramped. The building was tall and skinny, slotted neatly in with the rest of the city, and Mikey had always loved that. This meant it they had the perfect hallways for running back and forth through, and there was a surplus of staircases for him to slide down or jump over. The hardwood floors were perfect for both Tokyo Drifting and dance practice. They each had gotten their own rooms as they grew as well, with himself and Raph on the second floor, Leo and Donnie on the third, and their father taking the master bedroom on the ground level.

But the best bit was the basement. Lovingly dubbed "The Lair," their dad had designated it the hub for childhood shenanigans, (and now, teenage activity,) from the get-go, all but sacrificing the space to his sons from the moment they moved in. The house was technically his, sure, but the basement was theirs, like, for real for real. Arcade games and consoles lived down here, hooked up to the big TV on the wall and surrounded by beat-up beanbags. Raph's weight-lifting equipment was in that corner there, and Donnie's bigger, more mechanical projects were over there by the stairs, (with the yellow tape and the "do not touch" signs.") This big wide open space here with the mirrors on the walls and the punching bags mounted on the ceiling was perfect for both martial arts, acrobatics, and dance practice, depending on which kind of matting they laid out. And, best of all, the Lair was the one place in the house where their dad had reluctantly conceded that, yes, Mikey. You may paint on the walls.

The Lair was typically the best bet for finding any of his brothers, especially if they weren’t holed up in their rooms, and Mikey did think about heading down there, too… But, as very tempting as it was to hang out with brothers first and do math worksheets later was, he was pretty sure he could get through his homework in, like, thirty minutes, tops, and just get it all out of the way. Plus, this way, he didn't have to worry about anyone else making any grabs for his dinner.

With this in mind, he tromped his way up the stairs, nudging his sticker-adorned door open and dumping all his stuff on his desk, immediately shoving the previously-abandoned pizza slice back into his mouth again. He flipped open his textbooks, switched his speakers on to fill the space with some chill lofi beats to study to, and nudged his desk lamp awake as he settled in to get to work.

His workload had been pretty light recently, with way fewer teachers than usual handing out paper worksheets and questionnaires to bring home, so it didn't take him very long to get through all the assignments and readings. (Also, lowkey, it was times like these that he was, like, wow. Thank god for Adderall.) He was nearly done with the last of his work when he suddenly paused.

Dang. Artistic inspiration was truly a cruel but wondrous mistress. Okay, homework later. He scrambled for his phone, rewinding the song playing over the speakers. Ooh, yeah, okay-- That bass? Oh, hell yeah, this was really good! He could absolutely see the movement in his mind's eye-- he could picture the way the color swooped along with the beat and brightened along with the melody. Oh-- and what if he added some black outlines? What was the title of this song again...? Maybe he should look up the artist. He wondered if this would be better as a direct homage to the artist, (maybe the title up on a wall, in big curved block letters, yellows popping along the edges to pull it into the foreground, and that red in the center to sink it in--) or if this should be a more narrative piece. It made him think of that one movie that they watched two weekends ago-- with the spy and the watering can factory?! And this one line, about the lightning, he could just see the way he could paint a figure to answer that directly. Was it too ambitious to do a zig-zag line of action? Oh, but if he had the leg out like that...

He flipped the page of his notebook, his pencil skritching feverishly on the sheet as he moved to put these thumbnails into reality while they were still ticking through his mind in a slideshow. He paused only to command Spotify to play the song on repeat, his tongue stuck out of the corner of his mouth and his eyes narrowed. Ohmigosh, yes! This would be perfect. He couldn't believe he had never thought of this before. This song had been on his playlist for how long? He had just kind of been spacing out until now, but suddenly, he was so excited about this project.

And it would be the perfect excuse to use those metallic spray paints he's been hoarding! He practically vibrated with excitement, thumbing the paper with a grin. Oh, that would look amazing. Just a bold streak of shimmery color, bursting out from the composition, like an explosion, he could see it so clearly--

Half a thought later, the spiral-bound notebook in front of him burst into flames.

[ next ]

#sorrywhatnowau #fidgetwing #tmnt #rottmnt #tmnt human au #human turtles #fanfic #tmnt fanart #tmnt fanfic #tmnt fanfiction #rottmnt fanfiction #if anyone wants to beta read for me be my guest lol #guess r/n i gotta nobody on that which is probs not #the best play lmao #sorrywhatnowfic #long post

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lia-bones · 3 years

Text

A thousand splinters of glass

Sirius Balck x Reader

Summary: (Y/N) boyfriend Sirius intrudes too much into her friendship with Remus. When he confronts her with his thoughts, they start fighting.

Warning: angst, Language (defilement and swearing), consumption of alcohol, Hint of violence ... I gess.

(Misspelling, Grammar errors, translation errors.)

Words: 2520

Author note: It was super hard for me to write Sirius like that. But it was a friend's wish and I'm fulfilling it.

(English is not my main language. I apologize for all misspellings, grammar errors, and translation errors💕)

Enjoy Reading 🌻

(not my GIF)

* * *

(Y/N) enter the great hall and take a seat at the Gryffindor table next to her boyfriend Sirius. She looks at her group of friends and still tired, wished them good morning.

"Good morning dear, how did you sleep?" asked the boy next to her after he put a kiss on her temple.

"Oh, very well, unfortunately too short." she replied with a tired smile and put a spoonful of scrambled eggs in her mouth.

"Remus, do you want to do our Arithmancy homework in free period?" she turned to the others Marauder who sat across from her at the table. Remus smiled at her and replied, "Yes, of course. After lunch in the library?"

"Call it a date." (Y/N) winked and went back to her scrambled eggs.

"Hey, I thought I was your boyfriend? What about me?" Sirius grumbled beside her and looked at her confused. She waves it away with a laugh :"You are, but that doesn't mean I can't do homework with a friend. You don't have a free period after lunch you have Divination."

Sirius mumbles something unintelligible but said nothing else. The friends all eat their breakfast and talk about this and that, before they all went to class.

* * *

After noon Remus and (Y/N) met in the library and started their Arithmancy homework. After some time of writing, Remus contacted her and said :"You know, I'm glad you're with Sirius now. You're doing him good." The girl smiled at him and answered :"He's doing me good too. I've got the feeling since I've been with him I've been a lot more confident.I am very happy to have him as my Boyfriend. And of course I'm also happy to have you guys as my friends. I couldn't think of anyone better."

"We're glad to have you too. Finally I'm not the only one holding the boys back." Remus laughed and pulled her into a half-hug with one arm. "yeh somebody has to bring you rule breakers to your senses."

"But I'm really serious (Y/N). Since you've been together he's a lot more relaxed and you make him think before he acts. At least sometimes." Remus told her seriously again.

"I don't want to tell him anything. I like him the way he is. I think sometimes he just needs someone to get him to think again about his ideas before acting. There is no way I want something like the incident in fifth year to happen again." (Y/N) said in a husky voice, put an arm around Remus' shoulders and gave him a short squeeze .

"No, nobody wants that." the boy whispered back and squeezed her once too.

It became quiet and the two pondered their memories of this terrible event for a moment, before they broke the embrace again and continued on with their essays in silent agreement.

* * *

After the last class of the day, (Y/N) and Remus sat in the common room and waited for their other friends.

"What do you think of the book? Have you read it yet? " she asked Moony and with a nod of her head pointed to the book she was reading. Remus put a hand on her shoulder and leaned forward to look at the book. "No but i want..." he is just beginning to speak when the portrait opened and the remaining three Marauders entered the room. " 'e, You two, here you are. What are you doing here?We were looking for you." James called to them and slumped into one of the armchairs. "We just talked, nothing interesting. We have been waiting for you. " declared (Y/N) while she closed her book and placed it on the side table next to her. The boys nodded and Sirius placed a kiss on the (Y/N) head.

Due to the lack of space on the sofa, Sirius sat in the other armchair, instead of next to his girlfriend and Peter sat on the floor between him and James.

The friends talked about everything and nothing for a while and soon landed on James' favorite topic: Lilli Evans

"I mean. She is so perfect. She is beautiful and smart and quick-witted and helpful and friendly. What more could a man want?" enthused James with a dreamy face.

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife'." Quoted Remus softly which made (Y/N) giggle so much that she put her hands over her face and rested her head on his shoulder.

Sirius watched with a raised eyebrow and asked :"What's so funny?"

The girl sat up straight again and wiped her hands over her eyes before answering :"oh Remus just quoted pride and prejudice. You won't know it, it's a fantastic Muggel book."

"Oh, but Moony know this fantastic book?" Sirius asked in a voice tarnished with sarcasm. His friends' eyes fixed on him and (Y/N) briefly shook head in confusion before she answered :"Well, Yes. It's a muggle book. He's half blood. And he reads more than any of us put together."

"My mother gave me the book a few years ago." Remus quietly brought himself into the discussion.

Sirius clicked his tongue and got up from his seat he took a few steps before stopping in front of his girlfriend and saying dryly:" Yeah yeah the perfect perfect Moony.

I understood. We need to talk. Alone." He pointed a finger at the stairs that led to the dormitories. (Y/N) looked up at him from her sitting position, knitted her eyebrows briefly in confusion, then nodded got up and followed him up the stairs.

When she arrived in the boys dormitory, she closed the door behind her and stood in the middle of the room. She watched Sirus go to a cupboard and take out a Bottle of firewhiskey and a glass. He poured himself some and took a sip while staring at her over the rim of his glass. The silence in the room was heavy and thick and the air to cut. Sirius cautiously let (Y/N) play with her fingers nervously. It was not customary for him to be so quiet and well, serious. The last time he acted like this, he had just received a letter from his mother.

Since he still didn't say anything, just looked at her with a serious face, she decided to break the silence in the room. "So what did you want to talk about? "

"You. And what you're pulling off right now." he explained in a low voice.

"Sorry but, I don't know what you're talking about." she said in a calm voice.

That just seemed to upset Sirus more, because now his voice was a lot louder :" Oh don't tell shit. Do you really think I'm so stupid and don't know what crap is going on?" He finished his glass in one gulp and poured himself more.

(Y/N) also got louder now and energetically crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"I already told you I don't know what you mean. What have I done?"

"YOU CHEAT ME YOU FUCKING Slut!" he yelled at her and pointed in her direction with his free hand.

(Y/N) opened her mouth and for a moment. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. Had he just really accused her of cheating on him and had he called her a Slut?

"WHAT HAVE I DONE? I am supposed to have betrayed you? How do you get the stupid idea?" she asked and made a wide movement with her arms. As if she wanted to chase the tension out of the air.

"Don't be so ridiculous. I noticed it myself. You haven't really bothered to hide it. You and a your loverboy." Sirus spat and glared at her. This whole conversation was very confusing (Y/N). She had no idea how he came up with it. It deceived her that he really thought she would do something like that, but at the same time it made her terribly angry.

"If someone here is ridiculous then is you. You are imagining things that don't exist. How can you think that? Who should I cheat on you with, please?" seh shodet back, on her face, spots of deep red anger were slowly forming. Frustrated, she ran a hand through her (y/h/c) hair.

The one across from her growled, clenched his jaw and again emptied his glass, which he immediately refilled.

"With your oh-so-perfect Moony. I see how you behave towards the other. It's stupid of you guys to think that I wouldn't notice. Are you serious. With one of my best friends? But what should I have expected from a slut like you. I wouldn't be surprised if you slept your way through the whole school." he laughed bitterly and screwed up his face.

(Y/N) didn't know what to say for a moment. For a few seconds, she started at Sirius with wide eyes before she said in a lowered voice :" This not true."

"OF COURSE IT IS. DO NOT LIE TO ME. THE WHOLE LAUGHING AND HUGGING AND ALL THE LOOKS IN LOVE.

OH, REMUS ARE WE BOTH LEARNING IN THE LIBRARY TODAY? OH REMUS YOU ARE SO FUNNY. REMUS IS SO SMART, HE READS SO MUCH. BLA BLA BAL." Sirius spoke in a high voice, trying to imitate her. (Y/N) shook her head in frustration. She had tears in her eyes but she didn't allow herself to cry now. Sirius got on with things that didn't exist and she wanted to make that clear to him. "That's not true. Remus and I are just friends! We study together because we're both in Arithmancy. And since when is it forbidden to laugh when someone says something funny? And we don't touch each other all the time. You see things that not there!"

"YES OF COURSE. AND I SHOULD BELIEVE THAT?" Sirius yelled at her and swung the now almost empty bottle firewhiskey through the air.

"Sirius please ..." she was about to start, but was immediately interrupted by him.

"SIRIUS PLEASE. SAVE YOUR WORDS. I should have known that it was stupid to sacrifice my single life for you. I could have had fun with other girls all the time, but no, I was with you. While you chedit on me behind my back. You dirty whore."

(Y/N) eyes got waterier and more watery during his monologue. She bit her tongue so hard that she could already taste blood and she clenched her trembling hands into fists, her nails digging in her palms.

"...Y...you...you now...i...i woud never..." She didn't get very far with her words, it all happens very quickly. Sirius took a step forward, she took a few steps back, bumped her back against the wall and and shut her eyes tightly. A split second later, Sirius 'glass flew across the room and struck the wall just inches from (Y/N)' s head.

"SHUT UP! YOU FUCKING CHEATER BITCH. SHUT UP!"

There was a crash and glass splinter hit the ground like raindrops.

Silence spread across the room and the two started at each other, eyes wide open. The remainder of the firewhiskey, flowed over the floor and watering (Y/N) socks. She took a deep breath and suppressed a scream. Her legs trembled and it took all her strength not to sink to the ground.

Sirius had tears streaming down his red cheeks and he pulled his black hair.

"No ... no ... I ... I swear ... (Y/N) I didn't mean to..." he began to stammer. He took his hands out of his hair and wanted to reach for her.

Slowly he took a few small steps in her direction. Arms outstretched as if to hug her.

(Y/N) shook his head vigorously, bit her lower lip and pressed herself even tighter against the wall.

Sirius stopped at the sight of her and stared at her desperately.

"No, stop it. Just leave it." she whispered in a husky voice and walked along the wall to the door, not taking her eyes off him for a second. With one hand behind your back she looked for the door handle, he followed her movements with his eyes. "No (Y/N) please, please don't go. Let's talk, I'm sorry ... I ... I ..." he begged in a scratchy voice and stretched its arms out to the girl one more time.

"No. I think it's all said." (Y/N) shook her head and opened the door. The restrained tears stung in her eyes but she definitely didn't want to cry in front of him now.

She stumbled backwards out of the room, pulling the door with her.

"Bye Sirius." she whispered hoarsely before she closed the door. Muffled through the door, she hears him calling her name a couple of times, but she just turned on her heels and ran down the hall to the girl dorms.

She stopped at her own dormitory, yanked the door open, entered the room and slammed the door behind her with a loud crack. The room was dark and quiet, the air smelled of fresh linen and cinnamon. None of her roommates were there.

(Y/N) leaned against the closed door and put her hands over her face. A heartbreaking sob escaped her and she slid the door down to the floor.

Now sitting on the floor, she hugged her legs tightly against your chest and buried her head between her knees. Now that she was alone she started to cry. The tears wet her face and the noises that came over her lips sounded heartbreaking. She tasted the salt on her lips and felt her tears seep into her tights.

(Y/N) didn't understand how this could all happen. She hadn't betrayed him. She had nothing with Remus or anyone else.

Yesterday everything was fine, they were happy together, laughed together, and fooled around. Today everything went downhill they fight, they yelled at each other and he accused and insulted them. He had thrown a glass in their direction.

Otherwise Sirius made her heart beat faster, makes it jump in joy or stop beating for a few seconds in love. But now her heart felt more like it was made of a thousand sharp pieces of glass. Broken like the glass on the wall. Broken like their relationship due to a lack of trust from his side.

(Y/N) wanted nothing more than to hide under her blanket, cry and not get up for a long time.

But she felt too weak to get up and go to bed. So she sat on the floor and kept crying into her legs.

#sirius black x reader #sirius black #sirius x y/n #young sirius x reader #young sirius black #marauders era #remus lupin #sirius orion black #sirius imagine #young marauders #marauders fic #harry potter #hogwarts

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rmichaelwahlquist · 3 years

Text

Juilliard is the tip of the iceberg. If Juilliard grads are struggling to find work – coming from one of the the most prestigious and well funded programs in the country, with some of the most high profile instructors – imagine the job prospects of all the state school grads. It's hard to imagine any scenarios where potential employers are going to take a ***** State University candidate over someone from Juilliard.

What follows may be my longest tumblr essay ever, buckle up for a ride through the perils of music education and a few ideas and solutions along the way!

And yet music programs around the country continue to expand the number of students in their programs – more students is after all in best interest of the institution (more students=more funding) – somehow without much regard to the hard numbers of how well these graduates will do in their careers.

Now, I work in music education and I readily acknowledge that changing this system is like changing the course of a glacier. For over two hundred years the higher education system in music has focused on a relatively narrow range of topics and techniques to train musicians. Berlioz's irreverent send-up of scholastic fugues during the finale of his 1830 Symphonie Fantastique is just one early example of students rankling at the limits of what was taught in school.

And for the first hundred or so years of the conservatory system (the 1800s), especially when it came to orchestral musicians, the product generally matched the demand - well trained musicians to play the music of the times.

On the other hand, I defend the traditional idea that not everything about a music education in a university has to be about job preparedness. For example, whether or not a musician teaches music history or theory for their career, I believe they should be well rounded and have a knowledge of those things. I tell my students: you want to be the whole package. And no matter what innovations come in music education, it would seem unquestionable that certainly the program should train musicians in excellent technique and performance.

I don't have the answers. I wish I did. I wish every person who wants to make music for a living could go to college and leave prepared to have an enjoyable, reliably profitable career in making the music that makes them happy. But right off the bat if you want to make pop (or any popular genre of) music or video game music or movie music – most university programs can hardly begin to help you with that. While some few specialized programs exist, you've really got to be the cream of the crop in the first place to even get your foot in those doors.

But where are the musicians making the money today? What skills do they have that enable them to make this living? And why does a music education have so little to do with either of those answers?

Many first year music students are surprised and disappointed to find that unless they want to be a band conductor, an orchestra musician, or a private instructor, being a music major may not be for them. And indeed it may not be! Many of the 20th century's and now 21st century's most wealthy and successful musicians became so without a formal music education behind them. Same for many of the ones who, while not wealthy, are working in studios and in live gigs with a steady income. Talent, work and creativity have always mattered a lot more in music than a piece of paper from an institution.

I have been wondering lately whether all of this really boils down to the fallout from the invention of recording technology over a century ago. Prior to the age of recordings, western musical notation had had a thousand years to develop and influence the way music was made, performed, and disseminated. Simply put, if you wanted to write, share, or perform music widely, then written music notation was pretty much the only way to do so. The accumulation of this tradition lead to the heights of late 19th century romanticism and the dawn of musical modernism. It's a staggering artistic achievement for humanity, no doubt about it, and it was all made possible because each generation could build on the written tradition of the previous one.

However, the advent of audio recordings abruptly interrupted (and/or accelerated) this progression/fragmentation. The need for creating and reading sheet music has gone from being universal to being niche - as long as the song can be performed, it can be recorded. The middle-man of notation no longer has a monopoly. This has led to the rise of new genres and commercial aspects of music that have fluctuated with the changing times and technology.

Jazz is an interesting case – an entirely new musical genre whose rise I would credit to recording and broadcast technology. Suddenly you didn't have to have tickets to an exclusive venue, training at a fancy school, or even the sheet music. You copied and learned from what you heard on the radio or recordings. You learned right from the best, right in the comfort of your home. You got playing experience doing live gigs. The genre evolved rapidly from Jelly Roll Morton to Louis Armstrong to Duke Ellington to Charlie Parker to Miles Davis to John Coltrane in just a few decades, becoming a well established and vibrant musical language – so well established that it can now retroactively enter higher music education. Those early jazzers would be quite amused, I think, that you can now (as I once did) get a degree in jazz.

Unfortunately, the same effect may be happening to Jazz education as happened to classical music education – the education becomes more about preserving the past than about keeping the music itself alive. (Have you heard some of the things the best jazz musicians are doing today? It is as far from even the wild jazz of the 60s as the earth is to the moon. Still recognizably jazz but not anything you'll learn in school!) Perhaps by its nature, a music education is only capable of teaching about the past. But I think that's an assumption worth challenging.

We may expect a trained jazz musician to be able to play big band styles and bebop with equal fluency, much the same way a violinist may be expected to play Bach and Brahms and Boulez. But is there a point at which a music education becomes too fixated on the past without adequately preparing for the right now, let alone the future, of life as a musician?

In fact, every non-notated music tradition is at risk of the same effect due to recordings. Say you recorded a native music maker from an endangered tradition in the early or mid 1900s. Now for all time, to make music in that tradition there is this temptation to calcification - hardening the whole style around a few interpretations just because they happen to be the earliest of which we have record. The reality is that no musical style ever stays the same forever. Those recorded in the 1900s were not even doing the music in the exact same as their parents, let alone 50 or a 100 years prior. The times changed, the people changed, the music changed.

It will always be that way. Music education may be a glacier set on its course but the flow of music increasingly is finding its way around and beyond it in terms of the art, the artists, the culture, and the money. Now, the times still change, the people still change, the music still changes, while the cultural and practical relevance of a formal music education wanes and wanes.

Man, I hate being so negative about this, but to fix things you have to first diagnose the problem. So let me propose a few solutions or at least work-arounds, especially for music majors.

- don't go into a music degree expecting it to do everything for you. Understand what it is and what it isn't. It will help you be a good musician. It may not prepare you for many other aspects of the career. You can do everything right in a music degree, pass with 'top marks', and still not be ready to go to work in your field.

- do look for opportunities to perform and make music outside the university. How do you expect to suddenly have music making be a money-making enterprise if you haven't already been practicing that? Why wait until you are a 'pro' to start a youtube channel, self release recordings on bandcamp or soundcloud, to self publish sheet music on sheetmusicplus.com? It takes time to build up a following and a reputation and it doesn't come automatically just when you get a diploma.

- do everything you can to learn about music business, copyright, contracts, recording, sound engineering, advertising, etc. whether or not it is required for a class. Learn what you need to know, not just the minimum for the grade or degree.

- be disciplined with your time. Give due diligence to your classes and practice but don't let those things take over the rest of your time. Balance your life and your art. If you don't learn to do that in school you'll have to learn it while trying to start your career...and why wait until that crucial period?

- you've got to be quite committed to make a music career work. It may involve participation in a combination of money-making streams - academia, private lessons, performances, recording, etc. You may even have to balance music making with other non-music income (I know of a successful composer who loves her second career as a yoga instructor). Carefully consider if all this is for you. You can have a lifelong, satisfying and fulfilling engagement with music making without ever making it the sole focus of your study or employment. There is no shame in seeking stability in a career, which music just can't promise.

- don't dismiss the value of the things in your college education that may not be "directly" relevant to the functioning of your music career. Modern college education has a foundation in the ideal that each person should have a well rounded grasp of some of the basics of the world. There's a reason all college grads are required to take classes like math or sociology or science. Practice finding that reason with each class and you'll have a happier time getting through those hoops. There can be relevance in pretty much any topic but don't expect college to spoon-feed you the application of that knowledge.

- Same goes for music topics that seem irrelevant. Just because the class is talking about music history, theory or repertoire that seems useless to you, it doesn't mean that you don't want to know those things as a musician. As I wrote above, you want to be the whole package: a well rounded musician who understands a thing or two about many aspects of life, the world, and music culture specifically.

- do take advantage of every resource that is available for your success. This may not be only within the university system. Look everywhere for mentors, professional contacts, grants, support, performance opportunities, learning opportunities and creative outlets. If you meet somebody who is making it work, pick their brain, ask for their help! If you aren't a voracious type of learner inside and outside of school, being a music major is going to be a tough road. Why suffer through four plus years just to eke out the degree that may not even lead you to a job?

- make the music of TODAY, of RIGHT NOW. Make music that matters to you and to your peers. Make music that is relevant and current and is more than a living museum. Don't be afraid of new music, be afraid of a world without new music!

- keep up with changes in the industry, especially paying attention to where the money is coming from and going. A music career doesn't have to be all about money but, you know, making a living matters unless you are 'of independent means'. Could be NFTs, could be grants, could be (as in the article above) playing your instrument with unusual ensembles. Be as creative with your income pursuits as you are in your art and I bet you can find a happy balance between making the music you like and making money in the process.

- don't give up hope that all the brokenness I mention above can be fixed. Total cultural change is possible and perhaps inevitable within a generation. Balance learning from the past with a push to make a difference in the directions you want to see.

I'll see you in a more vibrant and sonically rich world!

R. Michael Wahlquist | March 2021 | Rexburg, Idaho

#music major #music education #musicians on tumblr #juilliard #music degrees #music school

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neoarchipelago · 5 years

Text

Her teacher (Teacher!John Wick x reader part 2)

AN: Here's part two I still don't know what the fuck i'm doing just so you know...

Spotify playlist to listen while reading

Word count: 3 508

Warnings: SMUT 18+ SEXUAL CONTENT

------

You were staring at your finished essay. You had managed to finish it for the due date. It had been a few days since your encounter with Mr Wick and… that it happened. As you had told each other, no one but you two knew of it. You had however decided to avoid him entirely. Your mind was still obsessed with him and were pretty sure you were falling for him at this point. It had felt amazing when you two had sex, you'd do it all over again, but it hurt too much to know that it was just that. Sex. You sighed.

"Hey…(y/n)... You alright?"

You looked up at the boy in front of you. Leia's brother, Tom, was slightly older than you both and was studying sciences here. You two were more or less friends but you saw him as a brother more than anything.

"Tommy… yes I'm fine!" You let out while smiling up at him.

"You sure? You've been staring at those papers for the past five minutes…" he snickered.

"Oh yes… I was lost in thoughts" you simply said.

"Yeah Leia's been worried about you… by the way… she in class?" He asked looking confused.

"Hum.. yes, yes she is." You answered.

"Don't you have the same class? Aren't you supposed to be in class?" He asked, a smirk on his lips.

Yes. You were supposed to. But it was HIS class and you didn't want to see him. You blushed a bit and you heard Tom laugh.

"Come on! Don't tell me you're skipping classes!" He spoke while sitting next to you.

"I-I just needed to finish this essay…" you bluntly lied.

"Right… sure, whatever you want princess. You know if you need something you can talk to me." He said, winking at you.

You smiled back letting your chin rest on your hand.

"Thank you tommy. You're adorable"

He pretended to brush his hair back and dust off his shoulders as you laughed at him.

"You know princess.. whatever you're hiding away from, it's gonna catch you love. You need to be braver…" his words ran through your head and you sighed.

"Yeah.. i know tommy… but I don't know how to face hi-.. it." You caught yourself right on time, tommy seemed to not notice it.

"It's always hard, that's why we got to be brave! Ciao princess!" He spoke as he stood up and ran to exit the library.

You sighed again. You wanted to head home. Your phone buzzed and you checked it. Leia had texted you saying class was dismissed and she was going home. You quickly typed an answer before grabbing the few book you had picked up. You stood up and walked to the far end aisles of the library. It was almost empty at this hour and it was extremely quiet. You were trying to find out the place you had picked them from, trying to put them back in place. You were absent mindedly looking around and you didn't notice the shadow leaning over the shelf at the far end of it. You put the last book back in the aisles and turned to leave when you jumped and froze.

"Mr Wick…" you let out, staring at him wide eyed.

Silence fell. You cursed at the situation you were in. You couldn't childishly run away like you wanted to because the aisle only had on exit, the other end was just a wall. Your breath was shaking and you honestly didn't know what to say.

"Miss (y/l/n)."

The sound of his voice made you swallow hard, glimpses of memory rushing back to your mind and you were feeling hot already.

"I didn't see you in class today. I didn't really see you at the lesson before that neither."

Right. That.

"Hum.. yes, I'm sorry, I had a paper to finish and it was urgent.." you bluntly lied again.

The look he gave you clearly meant he didn't believe any of it. He took a step forward and you took a step back. He froze and frowned before taking another step forward and you another back. Problem is… your back hit the wall and you were trapped. He was inches from you and you had to look up to look at him.

"(Y/n).." he started.

But you couldn't take it anymore. You couldn't have this conversation not here not now, you couldn't bare have him call your name.

"Don't. Please, don't." You simply let out, closing your eyes.

You opened them again, falling into dark ones. You took a deep breath and escaped, walking passed him. But it couldn't be that easy. You felt his hand around your wrist and he pulled you back to him. You were against his chest, your hands on him. You were slammed against his body and your lips barely far away. You wanted to taste him again, the thought making your head spin. The dark gaze he gave you was promising and you moaned softly. But the moment was broken by the sound of someone walking closer and closer.

You both harshly separated and stood away from each other, you clearly not looking at him. The sound passed and no one came but it both made you realize how dangerous this all was. He seemed very unbothered though as if he'd seen much more dangerous.

You were ready to walk away when you heard him speak one last time.

"Don't miss class because of me… please."

You closed your eyes and nodded before running off to your table and gather your things. The library was empty, apart from the secretary. You ran out not wanting to stay in this tempting hell any longer.

----

You had thought this through. At least you hoped, because you were sitting next to Leia in his class. He was right. You couldn't keep missing classes like that. You were anxious, biting the end of your pencil. You had obviously asked Leia the last two lessons that you had learned by heart. But that wasn't what was making you anxious. Seeing him, spending a full hour in front of him, unable to touch him, that was driving you insane. Taking a deep breath you told yourself that as soon as class would start you'd feel much better.

And then he walked in. He looked at you, and the way your heart raced, you knew you were damned. But you hid it. This wasn't the place. You shook your head and focused on the lesson that had already started. You could still feel his eyes on you but much less often than before. That hurt. You were torn between wanting to forget him and wanting to be the center of his full attention. But once again you tried to focus on his words not the way his hands moved around. The heat getting unbearable, you opened the two first buttons of your white shirt, without even thinking. You realized the true effect you had on him when you looked up at him and you noticed that lustful look once again.

"For the end of class, I want you to grab a piece of paper and tell me in 10 sentences the importance of today's class." He had spoke without taking his eyes off of you.

No one noticed, too busy groaning of annoyance. You looked away, you had to focus on the paper, not on him. It was weird however, he had never done this before. The way you could feel him stare at you the entire time of the test made you wonder if he did it, solemnly to look at you and the way your cleavage was showing a bit more. Like a good girl you had finished the test, and you wanted to check out your little theory. Without looking up you opened up another button, this time the cute lace of your white bra was showing. You pretended to be thinking of something to write, not wanting to look up at him immediately. Once you did however, you almost choked on air, he looked utterly furious. Your eyes glued to his lips as he mouthed a 'get.dressed.Now.'. You quickly buttoned up your shirt, and you were saved by the class finally being dismissed.

You took advantage of the amount of people leaving to drop your paper on his desk and ran away, Leia following behind you.

"Hey (y/n), want to go to the library with me?"

You nodded away and followed her there, trying to keep your heart rate calm.

----

It was pretty dark outside already as the days were growing smaller and the weather colder. You'd have to stop wearing those skirts you enjoyed so much, but today you had chose to wear one with a white buttoned shirt. You had been studying for a while now and Leia was actually succeeding on making you forget about a certain man.

"Ah! I'm exhausted! I think i'm going home (y/n)." You heard her complaint.

"Alright! I'm gonna stay a bit more though" you chuckled as you spoke.

"Good luck there sweetie then !" She finally said planting a kiss on your cheek.

She stood up and left, leaving you almost alone in the empty library. You sighed and turned back to your book. You were reading carefully, trying to focus on the subject, when another voice made you look up.

"Ah I'm sorry! I thought that was the last student! I have an emergency I can't keep the library open…" you watched the old woman and smiled.

"Oh It's alright Mrs Hawkins! " You replied, already gathering your things.

"Wait, I'm going to see if there's a teacher who can close it in my stead."

You nodded and sat back down, going back to your book. A few minutes after the sound of heels were heard and you looked up to see Mrs Hawkins smiling.

"There you go, I found a teacher who will close for me, don't worry you still have over an hour!"

You smiled thanking her and she hurried out. You looked around at the now perfectly empty library. You sighed, feeling slightly uncomfortable. You still managed to go back to reading the history book in front of you. Time passed and the closing hour was getting nearer and you decided to start putting the books back on their shelves. Getting up you walked in between the aisles, swaying your hips, you were feeling in particularly good mood right now, you felt productive, like you haven't been in a while. You were humming a little song, dancing a bit as you put the books back into their shelves. Finally putting the last one into the shelf you closed your eyes spinning a bit on yourself and swaying your hips one last time.

You let out a little scream however once you opened your eyes and saw him. You put your hand over your heart, trying to calm down your heart rate. You must be cursed, no other explanation. He HAD to be the teacher misses Hawkins asked for help, and obviously you had stayed longer, alone! The smirk on his lips was making you furious. How long had he been standing there looking at you?

"You scared me!" You let out in an angry tone.

"I noticed." He simply said.

You wanted to glare at him, but he was your teacher after all. You were standing there eyeing each other. The air was tensed again, suffocating. You were looking at him, the way he stood there, the t-shirt he was wearing letting you see his biceps and you were slightly daydreaming on the moment.

"We need to talk." His voice rang, making you fall back to reality.

You straighten yourself, trying to look unfazed by him, by this, by the way you wanted him to wrap his hand around your neck again. You didn't reply, simply waited for him to continue. He took a step forward and you tried to swallow properly.

"What you did in class, was… inappropriate." He let out, making you frown a bit.

"What… I did… sir?" You asked innocently.

The glare you received made a soft shiver run down your spine and honestly you had just lost most part of your braveness.

"Yes. Undressing yourself like that. For everyone to see."

You were growing furious now. What did he mean by that exactly?

"Excuse me? I wasn't undressing. I was simply feeling hot." You let out trying not to sound too angry.

"Hot?" He repeated, but you ignored him, letting the last bit of braveness you had lead you.

"No one but you was looking. Perhaps you shouldn't stare and it won't be a problem." You spoke looking away. You felt brave but not that brave.

The silence that fell afterwards was uncomfortable and you knew he was waiting for you to look up at him, what you eventually did as you felt pressured to do so. The dark gaze he was sending you made you step back, letting your back touch the book shelf behind you. You watched, focus on his every move as he stepped forward once.

"You're right. It's a problem."

Twice.

"Because I wanted to rip that shirt off of you."

Another one.

"In. The. Fucking. Middle. Of. My. Class." He finished in very rough whispers.

He was inches from you, his arms on both side of your body, keeping you exactly where you were. Your breathing had quicken and your eyes were glued to his face. You were trying to keep the last strings of control within you from breaking. He was driving you insane. You needed him.

"Don't do that again." He commanded. "Other boys were looking as well." He finished in a groan.

His grip on the shelves tighten and once more your brain couldn't catch up with your pretty little mouth.

"So what? Don't tell me it bothers you that another one could fuck me?" You whispered.

And there it was. That hand wrapped around your neck, the soft pressure to keep you in place but not enough for you to feel threatened. You let out a moan, closing your eyes as you felt his leg in between yours, and his mouth next to your ear.

"It. Does. Young lady." He hissed in your ear.

You knew exactly what was to come, you were already getting wet from the thought of it. You knew that you should just push him away and leave but the heat your body was feeling was stronger than your will. He leaned back and stared at you, your doe eyes probably filled with need and you saw it, you saw his own control brake right before he roughly kissed you. He was furious, and you had pushed it too far. The taste of his tongue making you moan out loud. You had been needing this while fighting against it and giving up right now was pure bliss. It was a mistake. A huge mistake but fuck. You'd think about it later.

He pulled you up against the shelf, his arms under your knees as you wrapped your arms around his neck. This was going to be quick, you had broke his patience and you felt it. The way he ripped open your white shirt and let his hand roam over your bra. The way he pulled it down to reach your nipples and play with them, teasing you as you moaned into his mouth.

You felt him quickly reach down to your panties feeling your wetness through the fabric and that was all he needed. He pulled the fabric away, leaving your entrance naked. You clearly heard the sound of his belt unbuckling and felt the tip of his cock at your entrance. He pulled back to look at you in the eyes, both looking entirely broken by the moment yet entirely pleased with it. His eyes didn't leave yours as he entered you and you gasped. It felt amazing, and you had been craving it. He was big and he filled you up so good. He didn't let you adjust however before even pounding into you. You were trying your best to stay quiet, muffling your moans in his neck but he wasn't being gentle. You were sure to have bruises on your tights the next day but you weren't complaining. You had managed to slip your hands under his shirt on his back, wanting to feel more of his skin as you were both still entirely dressed. Your nails scratched on his back and you heard him groan against your neck. You were already edging being unable to keep up with the torturing pace he had settled.

"A-ah...Fuck...I-I'm gonna…" the end of your sentence was lost as you suddenly gasped feeling your orgasm crush you.

You held onto him tighter as your body shuddered in his arms, those powerful waves of pleasure rushing over all your senses. You heard him curse before pounding deeper into you a few times but you weren't exactly sure, still lost in the aftermath of your own pleasure. You both stayed there, catching your breaths, not fully getting back to reality yet. You could smell his cologne all over yourself, as if it had settled into your skin, melted away. He lowered you to the ground as you tried to stand on your legs but failed. He caught you up immediately, holding you against him until you could properly stand again. You still found it helpful to let yourself go against the bookshelf behind you. You both looked into each other's eyes, the same guiltiness showing, the same need, the same… affection? You watched his hand rise to your face but froze in the air as the sound of heels echoed through the library.

You both quickly separated, you grabbing your things after fixing your hair. You watched as another teacher walked in.

"Ah John! I was looking for you!" She said in a high pitched voice.

You wanted to cringe badly, the blond woman smiling brightly at him.

"Really? I was going to close the library, miss Hawkins had an emergency." He spoke in the most natural tone.

You scanned the woman with your eyes for a second, noticing the effort she was making to flirt with… Him. You felt your own self growing jealous by the second, with the way he smiled back at her and you just wanted to run.

"And you?" Your thoughts were interrupted by the obnoxious woman.

"I was just leaving. Excuse me." You simply said grabbing your bag and running out of the library, not bothering to even look back.

The fresh air of the outside hit your face and you felt yourself shatter once more. The tears stung in your eyes, your chest burnt and you wanted to cry out loud but you put you hand over your mouth. You had let it happen again. No one had to know obviously, but you had wanted to avoid him completely! It wasn't helping you forget him, it was just making you fall deeper. The wetness in between your legs was the rough reminder that your feelings had been stronger than your common sense once more. He was your teacher! This couldn't happen! Even if you were begging for it.

You let yourself fall, sitting on the front stairs of the university's building, the fresh breeze making your hair flow a bit. You couldn't contain the tears anymore, you were breaking inside for something forbidden and probably felt only by you. You wanted to vanish in his arms but he probably didn't want you. You closed your eyes, letting one of your hands hold your head down as you cried into the night.

"Hey! (Y/n)!"

Your breath hitched and you looked up at the familiar voice.

"Tommy…" you whispered "what are you doing here?...".

The worried look he sent you made you remember your awful state at the moment and you wiped your tears away.

"Leia has been texting you for the past hour and you didn't answer, I came to check if you were still here…" he spoke kneeling in front of you.

"I'm sorry… I didn't heard my phone" you tried to smile at him.

"Hey… what's going on?" He softly spoke out.

"N-nothing.. just a small meltdown" you tried to chuckle.

He wasn't a buying a tiny bit of it and you knew it. So you added to your lie.

"I've been pretty tired recently and maybe I took too much classes I don't know, I'm stressed out, I don't want to fail…" now that was a lie. But a perfect one.

"I told you you could come to me you know?" He sighed.

You still managed to smile at him, not heartfully though, all you wanted was to lay in bed and cry.

"Come on. I'm taking you home."

You nodded, agreeing. You were tired and heartbroken. Could it really be worse?

----

Tags: @thatbemyhouse @magdazwolska @faralasunita

#john wick fanfiction #john wick #johnwickgif #john wick series #john wick x reader #fanfics #fanfic #fanfiction

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

Text

Ava & James

Ava: I've told all my family James: oh Ava: Maybe don't oh that hard Ava: thinking you've changed your mind and that's going to be very difficult to do a 180 on tbh James: I'm actually thinking about Bella's dad's reaction Ava: As far as I'm aware, my dad doesn't have a shotgun Ava: or an excellent moustache Ava: definitely not James: Mine does, on both counts, but the mentality simply isn't there James: war of words is as far as things have so far escalated Ava: That's a good visual Ava: what about your mum? James: she's very busy lining up every single woman she's aware of between the ages of 20 to 30 within a mile radius or so Ava: Very Mr Darcy Ava: I'll gatecrash James: I look forward to the dramatic dance scene during which we only touch palms & exchange looks Ava: I bet Lizzie Bennet didn't 😳 Ava: shame my sister isn't around to push over so your parents are forced to take us in whilst she languishes James: 😂 James: I'll happily push my sister over or let her fall through an iced over pond to further our romantic narrative Ava: 💘 Ava: I know it's less about me but I can swoon nonetheless James: if you're 😳 then you'll have my full attention regardless Ava: Promise? James: yes Ava: even if the single ladies have really good period costumes? James: well, I hadn't considered that Ava: 😏 Ava: rude James: before I decide, what are you going to be wearing when you gatecrash? Ava: Obviously something unexpectedly knockout Ava: am the protagonist, need I remind you James: okay, what I'm hearing is anything you already own or could pick out from anywhere given a few moments Ava: You're adorable Ava: how did it go really then? James: does that mean I'll get to see you before there's a seasons changing montage? because I really want to Ava: Providing you don't need to exile yourself, of course James: I'm sure there's now several people in both our lives who would like me to, but I won't Ava: They were as receptive as I expected but I've made it clear I won't be stopping seeing you, hopefully put to bed the concerns I can James: in my case, the only concern is outward appearances so there's very little I can do even if I particularly cared to James: & Teddy isn't concerned so much as shocked & appalled Ava: Of course Ava: at least I'm an addendum re. the main issue of the whole divorce, in that case? Ava: yeah, do you think I should make a point of talking to him or give him space? James: will you? as far as he's concerned I haven't made a good decision within his living memory, but you two are friends, or were Ava: I'll try, definitely Ava: if I can make him see it's as much my decision as yours, it might help, in the end Ava: and I can handle another person having their say James: thank you James: I meant what I said, I'm more than willing to discuss this with your parents, at any point James: I can handle that Ava: Thank you Ava: I think it might help Ava: but I also think I'm gonna give them a cool-off period or it won't be at all helpful and that won't be at all your fault James: understood James: I'm currently having to employ a similar situation with Jay's playdates because her friend's mothers cannot possibly keep their nose out of my business or their mouths shut about where hers is and every other single detail they believe to be fact Ava: Oh lord Ava: I wouldn't have envied you having to socialize by-proxy with the self-professed yummy mummies before but now Ava: I can only imagine Ava: Poor Jay Ava: I can't offer a human child for playdates but Frank is always down Ava: and my lips are, naturally, sealed James: I was hoping to take them away for a few days but it's as though my dad has decided that in lieu of my failings in other areas I need to suddenly become the hardest worker in the history of this company Ava: Of course Ava: Hmm James: because obviously what my children require most in their mother's absence is to also see me less Ava: Well, yeah, that's not potentially traumatizing Ava: thank God for School being right 'round the corner Ava: and Matty still being portable James: I've been bringing them both to the office & the bulging vein in his temple is honestly such a strong contender for the book cover Ava: 😏 That's how you do it Ava: risk his health and wellbeing so you get the time off for yours James: King's didn't teach me everything I know, I've got a few tricks Ava: When are you giving me that tour? James: When can I see you? Ava: When is your dad not working you to death? Ava: I can make it work James: [A pause while he figures that out] James: he's out of the office all day on [a date in the foreseeable to make this office hookup a thing] Ava: No offense but if your brother shows up again you need to send him on a really long coffee run James: as you said, school is right around the corner, meaning my parents priorities have shifted back to making sure he'll go Ava: In that case Ava: 😈 James: 😇 for saying yes Ava: I have ulterior motives, I promise you James: oh really? Ava: really Ava: it's very unfair I've yet to see you in your work clothes James: [sends her a pic because nobody can stop him] Ava: um hello 😍 Ava: you're really going to be away from me looking so good Ava: unfair James: I'm sorry James: I really, really am Ava: Me too Ava: I've not seen you enough to warrant how badly I want to right now James: [a casual essay about how much he misses her and wants her and everything he wishes they could do, in a saucy way but also just in cute ways like] Ava: James James: Ava Ava: I really love you, you know James: I love you too James: what I most wish is that we could go away for a while Ava: That would be Ava: so good Ava: maybe we could in like the Christmas hols, when everything has calmed down Ava: hopefully James: it would be indescribable Ava: I have no doubt you would do your best Ava: and it'd be impressive James: the subject matter lends itself to nothing but my best Ava: I'm honoured🙇 James: so am I, especially by that visual Ava: Gutted I'm out rn and can't immediately fulfill that wish for a visual like you did Ava: when I get back though James: [sends her an even better visual] James: until then, there you are Ava: oh, well, you aren't distracting at all 😖 Ava: definitely gonna get you back when you're so hard at work James: 😈 James: I so badly hope you do Ava: I intend to Ava: every day of the week Ava: but especially when I get to come see you James: you know, the things I intend to do to you on this desk drastically shifts the audience we're going to be able to pitch this book to Ava: You'll have to restrain your imagination in the write-up so the audience can use theirs to fill in the blanks Ava: because there's no way we're leaving your office 'til we've done everything you've thought of James: finally some overtime I'm not upset about Ava: It's all about balance, right? 😇 James: & I'm aware that you've got very good balance Ava: Will that help me be the best good luck charm on your best I can be? 🤔 Ava: intriguing 😋 James: absolutely, but if you need any more help, I'll help you Ava: You're very helpful, baby James: I try to be Ava: I've never met anyone like you James: I don't think I'll ever meet anyone else that comes close to you either James: I certainly haven't before Ava: Good Ava: I don't need to think about competiting so soon James: you don't need to think about it, full stop Ava: not 'til the dance, anyway James: even then, I'll only have eyes for you, that's the cliche Ava: Of course Ava: doesn't mean I'm not gonna do everything within my power to ensure it's worth your 👀s while James: I don't want to dance with anyone else, Ava James: I don't want to do any of this with anyone else Ava: I know Ava: you know I feel the same too James: you know I couldn't have done this without you though Ava: You did it all though, all the hard conversations and hard decisions James: a lot of those decisions were made for me, so there's limited credit due, & a lack of conversation with her just cements that Ava: Yeah but the ball is in her court on that one Ava: you're if not ready at least willing whenever she is James: of course, because that's not a decision, to not act, not any more Ava: yeah, and that's going to be a good thing Ava: even if it is not good all the time James: I'll be interested to see if she gets in contact before school starts because that's unlikely to be a good thing Ava: Yes, I wonder if this is just a summer holiday or Ava: makes you wonder what she's even doing that could keep her so 'busy' James: whoever cleans the pool, probably, not that she'd ever admit to such a cliche Ava: 😬 Ava: definitely not getting paid enough James: 😂 Ava: I'm just glad that right now you don't have to deal with her on the day to day, even if it's only a momentary reprieve, it'll never be that bad again James: me too, I can't & won't pretend that I didn't know how bad it had become but actually getting a break from it makes me wonder how either of us dealt with that for as long as we have Ava: I bet Ava: she must've been as sick of it, even though she was the one not letting go and doing the fucked up shit, that has to be exhausting to live like that Ava: full level hell beast all the time, like 😈 Ava: sorry, I'm not fully sure where the line is re. her Ava: but I've been hearing great things from Nancy and Buster today so, that's in my head James: it's okay, you're not wrong James: & neither are they Ava: Okay Ava: if it's ever weird or like, not up for discussion though, just say the word Ava: or several, as you're especially loquacious James: there's a fantastic word Ava: as far as safewords go Ava: I can think of a few situations where it might be hard to get out but isn't that half the fun James: I'll make a note of it, because yes, that's definitely a large percentage of the thrill Ava: I wish you were here Ava: I only am to get away from my parents for a bit James: where are you? Ava: My friend's house Ava: Her sister is called Stasia, think she was your year-ish? James: I remember her, whether she would me, favourably or otherwise, I can't possibly comment James: I'll take you home when you want to go Ava: Really? Ava: well, I'll go at whatever time means I get some extra with you James: okay, I'll take that as my cue to leave now, not only because any reason to get out of here is welcomed though Ava: Please do Ava: talking about you so much has only made my need to be with you even greater James: I can absolutely relate & admit to having had the same urge all day Ava: Oh good Ava: we're on the same page James: that said, a necessary note in the margin would be that in actual fact I've felt that way much longer, because whatever I'm talking about, I'm thinking about you Ava: Sometimes I think I think about you too much Ava: but then I remember I'm the protagonist in this romance so it's not just acceptable but necessary James: you can do whatever you like, darling, it's your story Ava: In that case Ava: read on James: voraciously Ava: 🤤🤤 James James: I'm just making sure we're still on the same page Ava: You're gonna have trouble keeping me on the page Ava: and making me go home James: & the driver's eyes on the road, we may need more than the Twilight soundtrack on this occasion Ava: Pride & Prejudice 2005? Ava: gotcha, honey James: 😂 James: yes, exactly Ava: 😊 Ava: I love you so much James: I miss you so much James: if I could take you home with me, I very happily would Ava: I know Ava: one day James: after the move to the other side of the river, because we both know there is a line Ava: It's pretty exciting, isn't it? James: I'm glad to hear you think so because I was going to ask you if you'd like to come house hunting with me Ava: I'd love to! James: [a possible date soonish] ? Ava: That should be good for me Ava: I'll let you know if otherwise Ava: it'll be nice to look at some actual decent places, let's face it, I doubt my student digs will be all that inspiring, like 😏 James: barely room for whatever hazing pranks they have in store, I'm sure Ava: I'm still not convinced that particular visual doesn't just come from a certain type of movie, babe James: you'll have to let me know 😏 Ava: I'll make it good for you James: my faith in you remains unwavering Ava: 🙇 James: have you reconsidered your stance on spoilers? Ava: That does depend James: oh? Ava: have you dumped fake girl? James: she was very slow to accept her fate, but yes Ava: I can't blame her Ava: I wouldn't wanna lose you either Ava: [picture, assumedly in her friend's room or somewhere not just in front of them like oh hey] James: Ava Ava: Make traffic move faster please James: I'll do the quickest rewrite possible & see you at your friend's door Ava: I'll be waiting so patiently James: & I'll be waiting impatiently James: 😇 & 😈 Ava: I think you deserve to be 😈 right now Ava: been a long day, yeah? James: yes, though it feels longer now, stretching out with the queued traffic Ava: 🥺 Ava: we'll just have to see it as motivation to not waste a single second James: it's a promise, in or out of traffic Ava: I'm so lucky James: if you think you are, then I need a better word to describe my own fortune right now Ava: I'm just really happy Ava: in spite of anything else, everything else, right now James: good, me too Ava: 🥰 Ava: you deserve that even more James: you deserve more than I can possibly give you, however patiently you wait Ava: nuuh James: yes you do Ava: 😣 Ava: no Ava: and I want you James: I want you, I'm well aware that it doesn't mean I deserve to have you Ava: How could you possibly not James: because James: the reasons I lack words to describe you aren't even close to the reasons I lack them to describe myself Ava: but I can't describe you either Ava: not just because I'm no writer James: but you do, all the time, in both words & actions I can vividly see myself the way you think of me Ava: I'm glad Ava: keep looking, okay Ava: we'll work on the believing bit James: okay James: if you'd like to get in the car, we can start immediately

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