#it's fricking 5 months of not being able to go home

[chaoticgoodcaptain]

finding out about malta's abortion laws while being in the middle of the erasmus acceptance process sure is a lot like "new fear unlocked"

#what have i done #like yk the second polish uni choice now seems like a better idea...at least poland is cheap to live in and not an island #honestly i'm genuinely scared what i would do in case of the worst of the worst happening to me (don't really wanna use the r word) #it's fricking 5 months of not being able to go home #nobody expects the maltese catholic church

[jasonblaze72]

[xreaderbooks]

Paradise on earth (4)

Chapter: 4. Spy Games

Pair: JJ Maybank x Routledge! Reader

Warnings: Language, Violence, unedited asf

Summary: This is an X Reader insert rewrite of the series Outerbanks, following the plots and events of the series, with certain twists to fit the reader into the story and to make things interesting.

A/N: Early chapter! Just want to start off by saying this is not my best chapter, it's also the shortest one by far. Not really proud of this one but I'd like to blame that on stress in my personal life and my rush to get this done on time since I'm not going to be able to post on Friday much less on Thursday, I promise the next ones going to be better. Nevertheless thank you for all the support, comment or send me a message to be added to the tag list :)

Also available on Wattpad and AO3

Word Count: 4.5k

Chapter 3 - Masterlist - Series Masterlist - Chapter 5

You all had found the royal merchant but not the gold, the ship was wrecked at the bottom of the ocean but no treasure. All that trouble and for nothing. To make matters worse when docking your boat in your backyard, walking into your home the social worker, Cheryl, sitting on your couch, and a cop standing in the middle of your kitchen with impassive faces. The urge to flee was overwhelming though you knew you should try to see if you and John B could talk your way out of whatever this was first.

By the look of it, this wasn't going to be like how it was when you were sitting in her office.

"You know Cheryl, it's kind of a bad time for a check-in." John sets down his book bag and box of cereal on the dining table.

"Not a check-in, we're here to take you, the both of you." She emphasizes as if you weren't aware.

You walk slowly towards John B, glaring at her in shock "Today?"

"It's just for a few weeks until your hearing," she says. That does not make you feel any better.

"No, no, no. Cheryl look, we're not going to foster care okay?" Your voice is in a slight panic. "We are not gonna go be a part of your little system," You say raising two fingers in quotations.

The cop in your kitchen walks up behind you, Cheryl introduces him "Y/N, John B, this is Deputy Thomas." John B stands up from his chair, you back up with him clutching the sleeve of his jacket. "He works with juveniles for the sheriff's department."

Cheryl rises from her seat at the couch, "Look, I know Uncle T is down in Mississippi working at a casino. He hasn't been here in months," John B scoffs to playoff disbelief then tries to run.

"No, see that's my nightmare right there." He runs a hand through his hair, pacing. "Look, I-I want emancipation."

"Emancipation from who? There's nobody here but you, and your sister."

"Asylum, then?" You ask

"On what grounds?"

"On--on solid grounds, on holy grounds, whatever fricking grounds that'll get us out of this!" You speak frantically.

"Look, this feels like we're being really prosecuted right now by you and-- especially Mr. Big Head over here, what are you looking at, bro? what're you gonna do, you gonna tase me?" John B shuffles to run again. You stay behind waiting to see what the cop does when John B throws cereal on his face and the cop pounces, wrapping John B in a headlock.

"He didn't do anything, Cheryl, Call your dog off!" You yell, your brother was being wrestled by a man way bigger than him. "Let him go, he's a minor! In case you forgot why you're here in the first place!"

"That's enough" She shouts, then says in a calm voice "Relax, John."

You wish you could do what the cop did to John B to Cheryl with the way she speaks to you both.

"Fine, we're going," John B conceded "Let's go pack our stuff Y/N," He motions for you to go to your room.

You roll your eyes huffing, you take out an old bookbag you had under your bed and pack an extra pair of clothes, your book, the stuffed animal your dad won you at a county fair so many years ago, and JJ's hoodie he left since winter.

The cop watches you pack in your room while Cheryl watches John B, you assumed so that you both wouldn't escape. "Fucking creep," You mutter as you shoulder bump him on the way out from your room, he catches your forearm "Excuse me?"

"Don't touch me," You shout out "John B!"

"Let her go!" His eyes meet the grip Deputy Thomas has and he loosens his hold, you tore away from him.

John B goes back to his room, unpinning the picture of your father he has on his bulletin board.

"See this, Cheryl?" He shows her the picture, "Do you know who this is? Yeah, it's our dad, and you know what he wanted? He wanted us to stay here, at home together."

His voice raises, "And, you're taking us away from home, from each other, do you understand that?"

You observe her face as well as the cops who both don't seem to give a damn, "It's the law, John B." She replies as if that's all there is to it.

You're both sitting in the back seat, radiating rage, your foot tapping to control your temper. John B takes your wrist, writing something with his finger, you and John B practiced "writing" on each other's wrist whenever you wanted to say something in front of people without them knowing. Follow my lead, trust me, we run separate ways.

All the anger turned into pure adrenaline, of course, John B would find a way to get you both out of this. The back window was opened a couple of inches, John B stares at the picture pensively then naturally slips it out the window as if the wind blew it away. "No, stop, stop, stop. Please, stop."

"His picture," you catch on "it's the last picture of our dad, please."

"Not gonna happen, kid," Deputy asshole looks back.

"Come on, just stop the car" John B insists.

"Tom, pull over." Cheryl commands, the car rolls to a stop "Thank you," John B gratifies.

The cop walks out of the car and looks at the road you had just passed, "Cheryl, can I help him look, please?"

"He's got it," You watch from the back window, he shrugs as if to say there's no sign of it. "This idiot, he's not even looking in the right place, it's gonna get trashed. Cheryl, please." You plead. "It's our final keepsake of our dad, are you really gonna let that happen?"

"Make it quick," She sighs and unlocks the door. You smile internally, knowing what she just did will screw her over.

"Yes ma'am," You both unbuckle "Thanks Cheryl," John B says lastly before you bolt from the car.

You sprint away from the car, bag in hand, you sling it across your back as you rush to catch up with John B.

"You head to JJ's I'll meet you there!" He shouts almost getting run over by two cars and you run in the opposite direction of where he's headed. You take shortcuts and make sure not to be followed, by the time you made it to JJ's you were gasping and panting. You were sure he couldn't hear you because he was using a teddy bear as target practice. Once you caught your breath you came up from behind him and slipped off his earmuffs.

"JJ!" You shouted into his ear, he whirled around pointing his gun at you. You put up your hands in surrender, "little unnecessary, don't you think?"

"Jesus, Y/N, the hell you sneaking up on me like that for?" He lowers the gun unloading it and putting it on safety.

"Well, excuse me for assuming you weren't going to fucking shoot me while you were murdering a teddy bear!" You defended while stifling your laughter.

"Hey, I'm practicing my bodyguard skills, you're gonna thank me when the time comes to use the gun."

"Just like you used the gun when the groupers invaded my house?" You recalled, He looked at you eyebrow raised and finger-pointing at you. "They just caught me off guard that time, next time I'll be prepared," He posed with the gun pretending to look around for bad guys.

You snorted, "Okay, JJ Bond." You played with the ends of the straps of your bag nervously, "listen, um- do you mind if I crash here for the night?"

"I'd have to make sure it's all clear with my dad but yeah, why, what's up?" He asked earnestly.

"DCS came by to take me and John B away, we ran and John B said he'd meet me here." You bit your lip to hold back the tears that were welling from your brain before they come out, the thought of everything happening in your life becoming overwhelming.

JJ took notice, he wrapped his arms around you, you melted into the hug arms wrapping around his waist. "You and John B are gonna alright, you hear me?" He kissed the top of your head, "They're not gonna take you away, I'll fight of every one of those social workers if I have to."

You giggled at his attempt to make you feel better and at the fact that knowing him, he probably would fight off anyone who would try to get to you. It made you feel special.

The moment was paused by a distraught Pope marching towards the two of you, "Guys, they know!"

JJ let you go and walks towards Pope, "All right, chill bro. They don't know shit."

"Topper knows I sunk his boat," He paces around with his hands on his head.

"How do you know they know?" You ask, "Because Rafe and Topper posted outside of Heyward's and mad dogged me."

"Will you calm down and get a grip, man?" JJ tried to pacify Pope but wasn't actually helping, "They don't know shit."

"They have cameras, they could've seen me," Pope asserts. You counter, "There was no power so they couldn't have seen you."

"It's figure eight, they have power!" He protested, "They don't give scholarships to kids who vengefully sink boats, it's not a good look on my transcript."

"Enough with the regret, bro! They caved your face in," JJ stands and points at Pope's temple where the cut was healing. "They hit us, we hit them. It's the law of the jungle."

Here goes JJ with his law of the jungle bullshit again, JJ gives pope instructions, "Now, if any kooks come up to you and ask if you had anything to do with it; you walk up to em' look 'em right in the eye, and... " he waits for Pope to fil in.

"Deny the living shit out of it," Pope answers.

"That's right. Deny, deny, deny" JJ points at the gun he left on top of a tree stub "but just for safety, we don't go anywhere without protection."

"That's if they give him time to explain before jumping him again," You say aloud without thinking.

"Can you not sike him out anymore?" JJ turns to you and gestures to Pope who began to pace, "My bad, it just slipped out. Pope, it's gonna be fine, JJ has the gun so if they try anything we'll be ready." You try to reassure him, which fails because Pope then goes on a rant about minors carrying unconcealed weapons and licenses and such.

"God Poopy, you need to relax." You walk past him calling the boys to follow, reminding them of prior made plans "We gotta meet Kie at the park for the movie."

~~~

"I'm so glad that they're still doing this," Kie says happily as you plod with all your chairs and bags to an empty spot. "Keep calm, carry on, back to OBX life."

If only she knew that the drama has not stopped, "Aren't you guys glad that I made you come?"

"I would be thrilled if I came without people hounding me right now," You look behind your shoulder, hoping not to see Deputy Thomas and Cheryl.

"Ecstatic," Pope speaks sarcastically.

"My couch was pretty comfy, I'll be honest." JJ claims, "I'd hope so seeing as how I'm sleeping over." You reply.

"You're sleeping over JJ's?" Kie questions, "Since when?"

"Since DCS came to ship me off to the mainland," you scoffed.

"Don't worry Kie, you'll always have a special place in my bed if you want." JJ winks, his comment stung but you said nothing.

"Gross," was all she responded. You set up your stuff in the spot you all chose, you heard Pope and JJ whispering suspiciously.

"We're in the middle of kooklandia, this is the last place I wanted to be," Pope states.

"Both of you," You give them a warning look pinching your index and thumb together zipping pretending to zip your lips to cut them off. "I'm gonna go get drinks," You announced.

Maybe, leaving them with Kie will ease their paranoia a bit. You walk up to the concession stand and order three Pepsis, You hear your name being called from your left. "Hey Y/N," Rafe comes up to you "What's up? How are you?"

You didn't understand why he was acting normal after your last encounter but you played along not wanting to cause a scene.

You look away awkwardly, "I'm fine."

"Good, that's good um, tell your boy that we know what he did."

You feigned your innocence, "What boy are you talking about, Rafe?"

"Oh, you know the one you ended our deal for," He lowered his voice on the last part.

You tightened your lips nodding, "Hm, cool I'll let him know. Is that it?" You grabbed the three cans strategically one in between your thumb, the other between your index and middle tilted so it rests on your palm, and the last drink in your other hand."No, um" He leaned a little closer to whisper "Can we talk?"

"We have nothing to talk about, Rafe" You dismiss turning to walk away.

"Please!" He called out, you continue to walk away flipping him off "Go to hell!"

You hand Pope and JJ their cans, keeping one for yourself since Kie didn't want anything. You take your seat beside JJ keeping your voice low attempting to only let JJ and Pope hear, "They know."

Pope whips his head towards you alarmingly, "What?"

"Rafe cornered me saying 'tell your boy we know what he did, I played stupid." You shrugged, Kie looks at you all confused, "What did he mean by that?"

"Where is he?" JJ asked.

"Right there, but don't look," You said. They did the opposite, JJ and Pope snap their heads to look behind them.

"Great the whole death squad, Ah!" Pope winces when JJ forces Pope's head to the big screen in front of you all. "Don't stare, bro."

"Just warning you bro, if they corner me, I'm coming out swinging, okay?" You roll your eyes at the notification. "If that doesn't work, I got this right here." He raises his bag implying the gun that is stowed away in there.

They mutter to themselves comforting words, "You guys are not making this any less suspicious." You tell them, Kie studies you three with her gaze fixed in confusion.

"I'm sorry, JJ, please tell me you did not bring a gun here," Kiara speaks in a mom's warning tone. "JJ, there are kids."

She had a point, of course, however, the only advantage you would have with these guys was the gun. JJ denies bringing the gun, "No, Kie I didn't bring the gun alright, everything's fine."

"Wow, thank you that's really convincing, I love that JJ." She says sarcastically, "Founding principle you guys, no secrets amongst Pogues. What is Rafe talking about?"

Pope leaned towards Kiara, "Kie, it might go down tonight."

"What does that mean? What did y'all do?"

"It's gonna be fine, y'all are putting out negative energy when we need to be bringing in positive energy." Was your response to the three of them freaking out, Kie shot daggers at you with her eyes. "That did not answer my question," You shushed her, "The movies starting."

~~~

The second film was playing on the big screen, your butt was starting to hurt but the plot was getting good so you didn't want to get up so you shifted your position to sit half sideways in the bendable chairs letting your legs hang over the arm side. "JJ?" You heard Pope whisper.

"What?"

"Gotta take a piss," Pope sounded like a little kid telling his mom that he needed to pee in the middle of a road trip. "I can't hold it, I drank too much soda."

"It's too exposed, they'll totally see us," JJ responded.

"I gotta go," Pope insisted. "They're blocking the bathrooms." JJ peeked over somewhere to the side, "Come here, I know where."

They get up bending over so as not to block the view of the movie, "Stay safe out there guys," You saluted them returning your attention back to the movie.

"Where are they going?" Kie whispered over to you. You took that to your advantage and stole Pope's chair so that other people wouldn't have to hear you whispering over the movie to each other.

"Pope needed to pee."

"What are they gonna do, hold it for each other?" You chuckled at her joke.

"Imagine, think there's something they're not telling us." You checked over your shoulder to find Rafe, Topper, and Kelce no longer in their original position, their chairs empty.

"Uh oh."

"What uh oh?" Kie glanced at you alarming you.

"Kooks are gone," Your nerves strike in your veins. You were all in public with at least a hundred witnesses but knowing Rafe, Topper, and Kelce that would not stop them.

"We gotta go," Kie voices. You nod, "Yeah.

Once you and Kie were out of sight you run up behind the projector screen where you heard the boys all fighting. "Let go of him Topper, you fascist asshole!" Kie yells out, hitting him with the bag that has the gun.

You run over where Kelce is holding JJ while Rafe is delivering blow after blow, "Rafe that's enough!" You attempt to yank Rafe away from JJ by holding the arm he was going to use to punch JJ. He uses that arm to shove you to the ground, Kie jumped on Topper and Rafe goes to take her off him, since you were still on the ground you extend your leg out to trip him. He stumbles a little but recovers, you get up but he's already carrying Kie and tossing her to the ground.

You focus your attention on where Kelce is choking JJ, putting your hands on Kelces forearms using your strength to get him to loosen "Kelce, stop!"

Rafe picks you up and over his shoulder walking a little ways away from the fight then sets you down pushing you against a tree, "Stay out of this, Y/N!"

While he runs back to the fight, you run over to the bag where Kie's looking for something in the small pockets, You go for the gun in the big one. You had it in hand, ready to use it if you had to.

"Y/N, no!" She protests.

"I have to!" You turn the safety off cocking the gun to get the bullet in the chamber when the projector screen gets set on fire.

You set the safety back on quickly tossing it aside, yelling at Kelce who still has his arm around JJ. "Kelce, Get off of him!"

Kelce does as told once noticing the screen was on fire, going to where Rafe and Topper are walking away. You check up on JJ, you put your hands on JJ's shoulders forcing him to look at you. "JJ, are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." He glances at the screen, "We gotta get out of here."

Pope and Kie walk ahead, JJ rests his arm across your shoulders as you walk to where Kie parked.

She pulls up in front of JJ's house with Pope in the passenger seat, "Are you sure you don't want to sleep over at my house?"

"Yeah, I'll be okay here, left my stuff here plus gotta make sure this one's alright." You gesture to JJ who went inside to scope out if his dad was inside. Your excuses weren't solid but Kie wasn't gonna argue.

She makes sure you get inside before leaving. JJ told you his dad wasn't home and that he probably wouldn't be until mid-afternoon the next day but you and JJ already made plans with Kie and Pope to go to Heywards before then anyway so you'd be in the clear.

You each took turns showering, you packed night clothes and an extra pair of clothes for tomorrow.

You felt relieved to be clean after a long day, JJ was sitting on his bed, legs crossed waiting for you with his red cap over his eyes it looked like he was sleeping.

You jumped on the other side of his bed, startling him, "Tired already? our slumber party just started!"

"Scare me like that again and your sleeping on the couch, young lady" He jokingly pointed at you with a stern expression. You fake pouted, "Just because you got beat up doesn't mean you have to be grouchy."

"Oh, I'm so sorry princess, how can I make it up to you?"He was a breath away, neither of you noticed how close you had gotten. You didn't want it to be awkward so you changed the subject.

"You okay, with what happened earlier?"

"Those fucking kooks, man." He huffed, "And they like to blame everything on us like they weren't the ones start shit."

"Yike, sorry to bring it up," You grimaced. "I just feel like their parents didn't raise them right..."

"I don't understand how even after everything, you still defend them." He argues.

"I'm not defending them, I'm right when I say that they're just big angry products of their parent's expectations. If we were born kooks we'd probably act the same way." You justify your point of view from your past feelings about kooks with your new mixed ones from the information Rafe expressed to you.

"Not true, just look at Kie." He mentions your passionate friend who didn't want anything to do with kook life.

"Kie is a special case," You sniggered. You pretended to just be aware of the sleeping arrangements, "So, am I actually sleeping on the couch"

He cleared his throat, "Nah, I'm taking the couch and you're taking my bed."

"Wow, JJ the gentleman," You fake your shock. "If I remember correctly you were asking Kie to be in bed with you."

"That was a joke, and you're different." He spoke seriously, you felt like the joke you made in slight jealousy, you made the mood awkward. Exactly, what you didn't want to do but now you were curious.

"How?"

"You just are," He raked a hand through his hair.

"Is it because I'm John B's sister, is that it?"  You pushed. You didn't know why or what you were asking, Did you want to know why he never felt the same way? Did you want to know why you were different than Kiara? Why everything was you did was different with him.

"No, maybe," He paused to think. You pulled him out of his thoughts, "It wouldn't make sense if it is. You're always, well, you. I wouldn't be able to tell the difference if it was right in front of me."

He barked out a laugh as if that couldn't be any truer, "That much is obvious."

It became silent for a minute, then he asked, "Speaking of, Where's John B?"

"I don't know, I'm worried about him," You said honestly. "He said he was going to meet me here, but clearly that didn't happen."

The weight in your chest suddenly felt heavier, you didn't forget about your brother but with so much happening you got distracted. Where were you gonna go from here? You couldn't run forever, eventually, DCS will find you. This island wasn't big.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"The same shit, it's been one thing after the other and I don't know how much I can take before it becomes too much."

"Don't go down that hole, Y/N, you're supposed to be the one to say fuck it." He tried to make to you feel better, "You always said fuck life, and you're gonna be the one to control your life, not let it control you. Don't forget about that version of yourself cause then your just gonna end up like me and we both don't want that to happen."

He pulls you closer, you rest your head on his shoulder curling into him. "I meant what I said earlier, they're not going to take you away, I'm gonna let that happen."

You stayed holding each other for a good couple of minutes in comfortable silence before JJ pulled away, "I should be going to my bed for the night."

He slides out of the bed going for the door, before he could step out the door you call out to him. "Wait, Can you- can you stay?"

He walks back in, climbing into the covers with you. "Whatever you want, pretty girl."

~~~

Early the next morning JJ drives you on his motorcycle to Heywards, you bring your bookbag to do some shopping for things you needed at the house.

"Don't even think about it bro, there were three of them and two of us," JJ tells Pope who was expressing how he felt about being beat by Rafe, Topper, and Kelce. "That's typical kook shit right there."

"Hell yeah," Kie agrees.

"What was your thought process, using your head?" JJ continues to ask since Pope was the one to throw the first punch.

"I don't know man, I just kind of acted off instinct." He defended, "I was a cornered animal."

"Right, cause fighting has always been your style, Pope." You commented.

Heyward walked into the store with Shoupe behind him, "Hey Pope, someone here to see you."

"Evening officer," Pope greets.

"I have an arrest warrant for felony destruction of property," He strides over to Pope. You, JJ, and Pope look at each other knowing exactly why this was happening, the one thing you all didn't want to happen. "Hands where I can see them."

"Young lady out of my way," Shoupe directs at you. Heyward protests asking what he did. The store becomes chaotic with all your questions.

"Take a look at the warrant," Was all he responded with. He states Popes Miranda rights, you're all arguing with the deputy as he puts handcuffs on Pope walking him out. You couldn't imagine how Pope could be feeling right now, you knew he would be thinking of his scholarship and his future. The yelling follows outside where the cop car is waiting to take your friend away.

"It wasn't him!" You turn to look at JJ wide-eyed, "It was me, he tried to talk me out of it," JJ walks forward. "But I was just mad because he'd just been beaten up, I was so sick of those assholes from figure eight that I just lost my shit."

He set his story up perfectly to take the fall, Pope stares at him, " I can't let you take the fall for something I did, you got too much to lose."

"JJ, what are you doing?" Pope asks.

"For once in my goddamn life, i'm gonna tell the truth." Shoupe looks between JJ and Pope skeptically. "I took his old man's boat too," Pope continues to object. "Just shut up, Pope! Just shut up. He's a good kid, you know where I'm from. This was all me."

"That's the whole truth?" Shoupe verifies. He's looking at Pope so he doesn't see you shake your head.

Pope and JJ are in a short staring match, that JJ won, Pope replies to the deputy, "Yeah, that about covers it."

He threw you one last glance before stepping into the cop car.

Tag List: @deanwherescas - @thtbwltts - @nerdypartytrashpsychic - @random-girl-army - @siresweeney - @simpingbutch - @obx-pogues-4-life - @mitchloveswriting - @p-prettybitch -@mischiefdz - @quillsandtyposx - @ellallheart - @shay-https - @namacissi - @lyn07 - @caseysalvatore - @mysticmolina - @dangerdolns - @inkandpen22 - @beebeerockknot

(if your name is crossed that means tumblr won't let me tag you)

#jj maybank x routledge!reader #jj maybank x pogue #jj maybank x you #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank imagines #jj mayback x reader #jj maybank x reader #jj x reader #obx jj #outer banks #john b x sister!reader #john b x sarah #john b x reader #pope x kie #rafe cameron x routledge! reader #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x y/n

[fourmarkdove]

Fawn - Part 4

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |  Part 4 |  Part 5 | Part 6 | Masterlist

Title: Fawn - Part 3

Words: 3.2k

Summary: Yennefer confirms Geralt’s suspicions and a rift is created between you and the White Wolf. Angst. Suggested smut. Fluff. Hurt/comfort.

Pairing: Geralt x reader

Warnings: Suicidal ideation, miscarriage, abortion. If you’re triggered PLEASE skip ahead. Please check out the trigger warnings (tw:) in the tags!

A/N: Don’t blame me. It was that fricking wish! I’m not happy about it, either, but it’s canon. Comments welcome. Thanks for reading as always!

Like an expectant father waiting outside the delivery room, Jaskier paced just outside the tent while Geralt sharpened his sword near the fire.

“No. Get out before I portal you away,” Yennefer demanded yet again when the bard poked his head in and asked for an update. 

“She’ll come out when she’s ready,” the burly Witcher grunted. Another plume of purple smoke rose from the tent door and static sizzled inside. Jaskier began thinking of a verse that needed to rhyme with “plume.”

Wiping her hands, she emerged and motioned at Jaskier: “Watch her. Geralt, you’re with me.”

Sauntering across the way to her own much larger, and much more richly furnished tent, Geralt followed behind like a puppy.

“Well?”

“Well? Well, I saved her life, darling,” the raven haired woman smirked, turning to face him once they reached the foot of her lavish bed. Tossing aside the cloth, she twirled a finger and a dozen candles lit around the space.

He was not impressed by simple tricks. “What happened? It wasn’t just poison, was it? It was a curse.”

“Yes, my love,” she sighed, bored with conversation, so she lifted his shirt and ran both hands up his muscular torso, making the tense fibers just under his skin twitch. “I lifted it though.”

Craning his neck low, he crushed his mouth to her plump lips. The relief and gratitude expressed in his kiss melted when feral heat took over. They were souls bound together by a wish he made years ago to save her life. As such they were drawn time and again to this exact moment.

She moaned, tugging at the ties on his breeches pressed against her stomach. Biting down on his bottom lip suddenly, she flattened her palms to his chest and pushed him back to the bed, intent on climbing him and claiming payment for a job well done.

*

“So she’ll be able to travel soon?” Geralt huffed lazily, one arm under his head on the pillow. 

“You’re really taking her back to her father?” Yennefer sighed, playing with the glistening sweat droplets along the center of his chest.

“That’s the plan.”

“Well, if you do travel with her just have her take it easy the next few days.”

“Why?” He arched an eyebrow down at the naked woman still tangled up with him under the sheets.

“Well, she’s with child, Geralt. But the child is much smaller than it should be. She probably needs to see a real healer to have it dealt with anyway - given the circumstances.”

His brow furrowed sharply and he gripped her upper arms, dragging her off of him as he sat up. “Dealt with...?”

She sighed, running the back of her fingers down the sinews of his forearm. “Mm. She told me who the father is. I just went to his wedding just last month. It's a bad idea to show your new bride your bastard child. So yes… dealt with.”

“Wedding?” he mirrored, breaking into a cold sweat. “Did you tell her this?”

Yennefer shrugged and rolled over. “I alluded to it. Hmm. You know she may not need a healer on second thought. Baby isn’t well. Body might try to reject it after this, so watch for - where are you going?”

Stepping into his breeches, he glanced over his shoulder at the raven haired woman lounging in bed still. “Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

“Why? Did you want to attend with me? The food was decent but the wine was weak. I so would have loved to have dressed you, though.”

His frustrated growl was not lost on her but she didn’t budge by the threatening sound of it. “She told me where you met. Geralt, I said I’d try to save her life but she’s your whore. I’ve done more than enough here, my love. If you leave this tent tonight, I’ll be gone by daybreak.”

He didn’t even have his pants tied before he stalked out of the tent barefoot into the dewy grass. Jaskier heard him coming from his own cot opposite yours. Finding it quite impossible to sleep anyway, he met the Witcher at the tent flap opening.

“That witch gave her something to sleep but it’s not quite doing its job,” the bard forewarned, touching Geralt’s shoulder. He held his friend back just a moment longer to catch his golden-eyed attention. “It’s not you she’s been calling for.” 

Jaskier excused himself, ducking past his friend breathing hard with his jaw clenched. Every muscle up the back of his legs and across his spine snapped into tension; the coppery scent of bloody cloths left on the table sent his senses into a frenzy the moment he stepped inside.

“N… no… n...” you moaned in your fitful sleep, writhing and grasping at the pillow under your head.

Cat eyes dilated in the near dark, his attention drew to the shadow of your body tucked under a thin blanket. In two strides, he dropped by your side and dragged the tear-soaked hair from sticking to your cheeks. 

Your head rocked back and forth on the pillow, your expression wrought with grief, one hand grasping at nothing but air until his fingers closed over it. 

He lifted his brows in the center, anguish lining his forehead. Your breathing came in hiccups, clearly crying in your nightmare.

“Wake up, little fawn,” he rumbled, pulling deep from within to sound calm so as not to frighten you. “Come on, wake up.”

“Ah…” Your legs shifted under the blanket and you inhaled deeply.

Your wet eyelashes flashed open, revealing still slightly ink-stained black tears rolling down your cheeks. “Where is he? Where’s Acheros?”

Rolling his eyes at the sound of his name, Geralt backed up into the shadow of a tent peg. “That’s a good fucking question.”

“Why did he leave me in that horrible place?” You pressed, eyes bleary from tears, pain and exhaustion.

“Hmm,” he grunted, sitting back against the other cot.

“He said he’d always come find me. ‘Nothing in all of eternity could keep us apart,’ he said.”

Another frustrated grunt as Geralt sat back. As Jaskier stoked the flames of the fire outside, the walls of the canvas tent illuminated with flicks of orange light.

You stayed silent a long time, letting the length and breadth seep into your conscious thought. Curling up on yourself, you rolled over into the tent wall and away from the brutish man sitting in silence across from you. “Is it true? Did he - get married - without me?”

“Mmm,” Geralt hummed in the affirmative, dropping his head back as the reflected orange flames danced on the ceiling. He cursed under his breath. 

There is a screech a striga makes when you deliver that final death strike straight through its heart; the sound is horrendous up close. Because of their circulation system, it takes them a moment to go, all the while realizing they’ve met their end. And then there is the soft little squeak of a rabbit as its neck is being broken. It doesn’t understand what is happening to it and doesn’t expect the end.

Neither startled cry at their moment of death is as difficult to listen to as your trembling gasp and wailing sob at the exact moment your heart broke in two.

Snarling his upper lip in disgust, he planted a fist on the ground to stand up, but stilled hearing you speak into your own hands.

“But… this is his child. And... I’m his.”

“Fuck.” Geralt replanted himself and sighed harshly, rubbing his rough thumb of one hand into the palm of another.

“What?” you shuddered, glancing over your shoulder. “But I love him...”

“You’ve said,” he husked, glancing at the exit with an arched brow and a changed mind. Waking you from that nightmare, he actually considered taking you in his arms and comforting you with all of the strength he had in him. He was not particularly given to tender moments, but if you’d have asked, even whimpered, anything at all, he’d have moved heaven and earth to shelter you.

You turned away from his frustrated growling. “Where is he? He should be here.”

With a huff of rage, he lifted to his feet and took the one large step to the door. Rolling over, your torso twisted and you yelped at the sharp pain. “Ah - fuck! What -“

“You were very sick,” he oversimplified, glancing behind his shoulder. “Yennefer…”

“Yennefer? She says she’s the ‘Love of your life’? I thought I was dreaming but she’s really real?”

“You should know Yennefer saved YOUR life.”

You mewled, ripped the covers down your thighs and tugged at your torn shirt, trying to find the source of the overwhelming pain.

Setting his jaw, he breathed deep and clenched his fist to keep from absolutely roaring at you. “You wouldn’t have survived - to be reunited with whoever this arsehole is, since that’s clearly all you can think about.”

It was neither his tone nor his words that shook you, rather the ache in your belly. “Something feels wrong.”

“As it should. Sleep.”

“Fuck you,” you spat holding your middle, getting up onto your feet much more slowly than he did. Bumping chests, you glared up at him. “You knew, didn’t you? You knew and you didn’t say a damn thing.”

Nostrils flared, patience dwindling, he looked over your head; he knew the second he glanced down and saw the pain in your eyes, it’d just add fuel to his  fire and one of the two of you needed to be levelheaded. 

“Not for certain until Yen told me a few minutes ago. Although I had suspected something like this when you told the story yesterday.”

Suddenly alert, you bolted toward the tent flap, but a heavy arm across the front of your shoulders blocked your way. Desperately, you reached both hands out. “Please! I need to go home. I just need to see him. He’ll explain and fix it.” 

Your pained gaze finally lifted to his, digging your fingernails into his forearm locked across your chest.

His sharp gaze narrowed. “There’s a reason he didn’t come back for you. Showing up on his doorstep, now, won’t produce the results you want, I guarantee you.”

“But - I did everything I was told to do,” you gasped, blinking back tears that spilled down your cheeks anyway. Dropping your head, the tears dripped freely onto the ground. Tilting your shoulders just slightly into him, you bumped your forehead against his chest and stayed like that a long while.

“I hate you...” you sniffled and hiccupped, speaking slowly, clearly drained.

“Mmph.” He grunted, holding the back of your bare neck.

The rage had worn around the edges like two fighters in the last round dragging their feet; both of you were slow to swing back.

“Come on,” he encouraged as gently as he could muster, thumbing behind your neck. “Lie down.”

He sighed, glancing down at your trembling, balled up fist thumping against his chest.

“I-I h-hate y-“ you sobbed, nosing into his chest. “I h-aate-“

“I know,” he grumbled, closing his hand around your fist. “You hate me.”

He rested his chin on your head and carded his fingers through your hair. Feverish tears eventually gave way to panting, then to soft breaths against his skin.

“What am I going to do?” you croaked, dragging your fingertips down his spine, releasing the muscles you’d been clawing into. “I don’t know what to do.”

“The first thing you’re going to do is get some rest,” he graveled overhead. Not giving you a second to protest, he collected your wrists from behind his hips and drew you back to your cot, throwing open the covers with his free hand.

“I don’t want to sleep,” you whined, giving him a side eyed glance.

“Lie down and count geese then,” he huffed, clearly not budging on it.

With a long sigh, you crawled in and curled up, pressing your face down into the pillow. Your eyes closed when the blanket rugged up over your shoulders.

Hearing your voice just barely mumbling into your pillow, he came down onto a knee and tilted his head. 

“Hmm?” he graveled just above a whisper. “You don’t mean that. … No, you don’t. … Hm? Fine, I will. Sleep.”

Settling down cross legged, he reached over the short expanse between you and the edge of the cot. As promised, he smoothed over your hair, and hummed a deeply soothing tune, the one he’d sometimes hum to Roach when she was being groomed. 

Tag Team: @ly--canthrope​ @marswritings​ @fire-in-her-veinz​ @thiclikeh0ney @uncoolcloudyhead​ @michelle-1185​ @boop-le-snoot​ @tearsontape13​ @confusinglump​ @mary-ann84​ @the-soot-sprite @wanderingsoulcelticheart @henry-cavill-obsessed​ @ruthoakenshield​ @nerra75​ @raspberrydreamclouds​

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |  Part 4 |  Part 5 | Part 6 | Masterlist

#tw: pregnancy #tw: suicide #tw: suicidal thoughts #tw: suicidal ideation #tw: miscarriage #tw: spontaneous abortion #tw: abortion #fourmarkdovewrites #geralt of rivia #geralt x reader #geralt x you #witcher fanfiction #witcher fic #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill fic #henry cavill angst

[tartagliaxx]

Hello I have returned for Childe Day(tm) after having to deal with a couple of crises and some making of homemade coffee crumble ice cream to celebrate--

A NYWAY, LEAKS SJDBSB MY BAD, I DIDN'T SPECIFY THEY WERE LEAKS--but ye bestie, I have,,, burnt myself out playing genshin 😭 I ended up hyperfixing on it for months to the point my storage got hecking decimated, so no more playing for me unfortunately 😔😔 not like that'll stop me from watching those sweet, sweet trailers, tho 👀

G o sh, the man?? Is still whipped for you??? And while yes it is very sweet holy frick Childe one ring and wedding was eNOUGH--okay but! During one (or maybe even a couple) of your sparring matches you end up putting a little too much force than expected, resulting in you fretting over him because while yes, he has dealt with worse, you would rather not have opened up any of his wounds (or give him new ones for that matter). So please--just imagine him going all soft and heart-eyed as you bombard him with worried questions and apologies and momentarily forget that you two were just sparring moments ago. 💓😔 oh and!!! Childe coming home after a rough day?? And you usher him inside and help him unwind with some good food and a bath? Maybe run your hands through his wet hair with some shampoo? You singing him to sleep this time??Just--there's something about being able to help bring some comfort to him after having an exhausting time outside that makes me soft man 👉👈

aJDBDDJBSNS W E L L. I shall take great honor in being the first of the many victims you and War Criminal Ed Sheeran (germ version) will slaughter for your honeymoon, then 😌 wait but cULTIVATING?? B RUH HOW YOU GONNA CULTIVATE HIM? BY FEEDING HIM WHILE PLAYING ONE OF GRIFFIN'S SONGS IN THE BACKGROUND?? HUH????

-🌻

coffee crumble ice cream sounds so good oml— ehem, i’m sorry that you seem to be having a rough time. i hope it gets better for you soon!

ah… well ye i dont do leaks so i dont know anything ahgshahshsja— i havent hyperfixated on smth for this long and im lowkey scared that i’ll get burnt out bc i dont want to stop playing or writing for genshin seeing as i have invested too much on it alr. would do it again tho ✌️

their entire relationship is so sweet and comforting and it’s very simple but you just feel the sincerity and love and aidguabdhahsvshbdusnwjqoakanimcrying. childe would deffo pull you into him, just tumbling into the floor when you start rambling w your apologies. it’s just one of those moments where he realizes how much he loves you and ew he’s so gooey and sappy but he’s nuzzling his face into you and ig you can overlook this just one more time. also!! he would pamper you the next morning after his tough night. a little payback and it usually starts w a breakfast in bed and a five minute turned hour long cuddle. add in a few little smooches and it’s heaven on earth indeed. at this point i cant even call myself soft. i’m liquid or smth.

it’s a great honor indeed. imagine being patient zero of this hot uh germ couple. sounds awful but! me + childe = best ship wbk. i actually forgot i mentioned anything abt cultivating him but idc anymore. i’m gonna make my mans strong no matter what the cost is. to hell w my sanity. if he needs to listen to rasputin tartaglia version 5 billion times then so be it.

#˗ˋˏ°• letters from cat island •°ˎˊ˗ #˗ˋˏ°• from my darling : 🌻 •°ˎˊ˗

[spissues]

Week2

GW: 56kg

day1

CW: 57.0kg

Waist: 25.6in

Thigh: 23in (each

Hip(largest part of thigh?): 38in

I’m setting my GW for this week to 56 kg so I’ll be able to make my GW for the month(55kg), and can do online shopping. It gonna be hard tho so I should avoid snacking and binging completely unless it’s planned. I should try to get in 1 more workout. 

Breakfast: Oatmeal 40g water

Lunch: Lettuce, cucumber, bell pepper, 110g chicken

Dinner: 1slice homemade bread w 1 egg +1 cup lettuce + 4 slices of cucumber

Snack: Coke zero + 200kcal cake chocolate

In addition: water, coffee, tea

End of day note: Oh sweet chocolate. I probz need to allow myself smth sweet from time to time when i crave it, but as substitute I will try using greek yoghurt. When I’m at work that doesnt always work tho, but I was able to limit myself somewhat, and also ate one less egg than planned to help make up for it. Luckily school starts soon. Tomorrow I’m done with work already 16:30, so I’ll plan my meals accordingly to keep me full but not too full to avoid a binge. Btw I felt drained of energy the entire dayyyy.

day2

CW: 57.1 kg

Breakfast:   1 slice of bread, 1 crispy salad, scrambled eggs(2?)(=Lunch at work)

Lunch: 1/4 of bun + 3/4 of chocolate milkshake

Dinner: 240g fish cakes (4) + 1 cup cale+carrot salad +  6 slices of cucumber + 30g potato

In addition: water, coffee, tea, pepsi max

End of day note: Both today and tomorrow I start work so early I skip breakfast. Although I was extremely drained of energy all day, it was fine until about an hour before I left. I was still full from my lunch when I was offered a piece of a bun I couldn¨t say no to and I got a chocolate milkshake as well. It was hard to resist and ended up giving me really bad acid reflux. I didn’t eat until very late since I felt I ate way too much today and didn’t wanna be hungry before I went to sleep. I only planned on eating 2 fish cakes but when I stood up to clean my plate I gave into my cravings and ended up finishing all of them... =110 extra kcal. At least I remember a lesson now: Only eat one serving and put whatever I’m gonna eat on the plate. I did plan for this day to be higher in calories, to prevent a binge, but not this high. Tomorrow I¨ll plan smaller but more regular meals.

day 3

CW: 57.2kg

I ended up being hungry and binge during the night. I will count it as this day’s breakfast

Breakfast: 100kcal muslibar, 1slice of bread with 30g cheese, 10g low cal butter

Lunch:   Lettuce, cucumber, bell pepper, 110g chicken

Dinner: Small portion of family dinner=lasafna(200kcal)

Snack: 1.5portions of brownie + small pieces (400) 1 portion of lasagna (500) 1 piece of bread(100) 30g cheese (100)

Flippety frick. I think I require breakfast during the morning to remind me how to stay on track. I forgot to not eat out of a plate. I hate coming home from work, having avoided the snacks there all day but only to come home to my worst cravings (chocolate, bread, cheese). Tomorrow I HAVE TO do better.

day4

CW: doctor’s weight after breakfast: 56.6kg

Today I’m determined to stay on track. Self control. I’m going to the doctor’s then work so I should be busy all day.

Breakfast: 40g water oatmeal

Lunch:  Lettuce, cucumber, bell pepper, 110g chicken

Dinner: 1 slice of bread + 1 banana + 10g peanut butter

Snack: 200kcal of choc cake @ work

End of day note: I was happy to see the 56... on the scale again today! I  have to eat clean until sunday so I’ll reach 56.0 by the end of the week. I can’t give up now! I’m craving lots of sugar so I’d like to incorporate that earlier in the day and maybe I won’t do as much unplanned snacking along with the plate rule, but my lunch is so low cal so it’s hard. I might invest in some greek yoghurt to ease the craving.  I think I’ll join my family to my great grandma tmrw to distract me from food when I’m not working but it’s 2hr drive so I won’t be able to move much and I’m anxious she might serve a lot of dessert. Nevertheless... I won’t be able to weigh myself tmrw cuz I’m at my dad’s :(

day5

CW:??

Breakfast: 40g water oatmeal

Lunch: 1portion of ggma’s dinner(2 meatballs, 1 large potato + 2tbsp peastew, brown sauce) + 1 cup strawberries + 100g jello

Dinner: 100g cake = 479kcal + 1breadthing 100kcal

Snack: 88kcal tomato soup 1slice of bread with 10g cheese 10g butter +20 chips

Fuck.binges.

Day6

CW:???

gotta be strict. The only way I’ll not succeed is if i stop trying

Breakfast: 40g oatmeal

Lunch: 1slice of bread with scramble eggs (2?)

Dinner: 1slice of pizza + 6 pieces of chocolate

Snack: 6 pieces of chocolate + 10 pieces of candy + 1 piece of pizza + ???chips

End of day note: T2morrow is last day b4 school. It’s time to get serious. I wanna die.

day7

CW:????

Breakfast: 1small piece of bread + <5g butter + 10g cheese

Lunch: 2m&ms + 5 strawberries + 60g bread + 10g butter + 30g cheese

Dinner: 1 cup rice + 2 carrots + 1/2cup lamb +1/2 cup(?) curry sauce

Snack: 1 slice of bread + 1 egg + 10g cheese

End of day note: Idk why I’ve been craving cheese all day... School starts tomorrow so I guess I’ve been bored-nervous-eating all day, but this is actually the result from avoiding several cravings. At least it didn’t turn out a full fleshed binge. I’m scared to weigh myself tomorrow, I hope at the very least I didn’t gain weight after the 56.6 at the doctor’s! Compared to last week I ate much worse this week, and didn’t work out today... I probably burn less calories too. It’s hard to tell without a scale but I’ll be going to my mom’s tomorrow before school to get my weight and measurements. I’m so scared. I have to reach 55kg by september! 

day8

Results

CW: 56.7kg

Waist: 25.5inches (-0.1 but eh)

Thigh: 22.5-23in (-0.5??? kind of hard to measure but probz nthng)

Hip: 38

So I’m pretty much the same. It looks hard to get to my goal for this month. I’ll have to try harder this week. School starts so it should be easier. No binges!!!

#thinspo #not pro just using popular tags #not pro only using tags

[thedeviltohisangel]

You Say It Softly//5//If He Won’t Be Here Next Year

Jim & Leah’s first time.

smut warning

masterlist in bio!

send any requests for Jim my way!

Leah watched with an ache in her chest as Isla Cane pranced past Jim in her new bikini for the third time that night. Not that she was counting. She was sat with her friend Adelaide, whom she had dragged to the beach with her so she didn’t seem as though she was clinging to Jim the whole time, on a log closer to the parking lot with a grimace.

“I hate that I have to admit her butt does look good in it,” Leah groaned as the girl spinned in the name of showing some other one every angle of the new swimsuit.

“And you did say Jim is an ass guy.”

“Addy!” Leah screeched as she hit her friend on the arm. “You’re supposed to build me up! Not feed into my fears!”

“I’m sorry! The only way for you to get his eyes off of her is to put them on you! Hiding on this log with me isn’t going to make your jealousy disappear.”

“Not jealous,” she mumbled in reply as she became focused on the rock that was by her feet. “Jim loves me. He’s not looking at her butt with anything more than a general appreciation for the female form.” Adelaide couldn’t help but snort.

“Sorry, Leah, but you are forgetting he’s a teenage boy and giving him way more credit than he deserves.” Addy loved Jim for Leah, loved that he had gotten her to come out of her shell more in recent months, but also knew how easily he could break her heart too. She was trepidatious towards him, at best.

“Then maybe I should just go before I get too upset. I knew coming to the beach with him and his friends was a stupid idea.” Leah stood from the log and began the battle of stuffing her blanket into her tote bag.

“What’d that blanket do to you?” She stopped what she was doing to regard Jim as he walked towards her, his wetsuit around his waist and his chest looking deliciously inviting in the setting sun.

“My tailbone was starting to hurt,” Leah lied as she let the bag drop to the sand. He stepped forward and pulled her against him with a kiss. He kissed her cheek once before letting her pull away.

“I’m gonna go to my car and change, then you wanna sit by the fire with me?”

“I don’t know...I have a pretty good view of Isla’s fashion show from here. Don’t know that I need to see it from the front row.” Addy snickered.

“Yeah, the thong is a little much, right?” He noticed the way her eyes widened as if she was about to deliver a scathing remark. “Not that I was, like, you know-”

“She just likes to watch you squirm. Keep you in check,” Adelaide said as she stood next to her friend.

“I’d like to see more of your devious side,” Jim said as his hands found Leah’s waist again, spinning her around as she giggled with delight. Any ill feeling she had felt evaporated once he was back in her orbit. Something about the two of them being together always made her feel as though she was doing the right thing. “Let’s get out of here. I’ll change and we can go get a milkshake or something.”

“Okay. Let me finish packing up and I’ll meet you at the car.” He pecked her lips one last time before trudging through the sand to his car. “Come on, let me walk with you to your car.” The two girls walked down a bit to where Adelaide had parked.

“Thanks for inviting me tonight. Hanging around judging people with you is my favorite thing to do.” It was slightly sarcastic but also partially true. Addy was torn between pushing Leah into the fire so she would breakaway from her comfort zone and holding her back so she could insure her best friend’s protection.

“Yeah, well, one day I’ll be comfortable around them. Until then you’re stuck hanging on the outskirts with me.” They hugged, Jim’s car rolling up alongside them.

“You two are cute together, you know that?” he teased. Addy flipped him off as Leah got in on his passenger side.

“Wrap that sausage up tonight, Jim.”

“Adelaide!” Leah’s face burned one thousand degrees at her words. Jim and her hadn’t gone any further than oral, and her friend knew that but she was trying to help her friend along in asking Jim to go all the way. “I am so sorry she said that,” Leah apologized as they pulled onto the main road. Jim just shrugged.

“All friends say shit like that. Doesn’t bother me.” He squeezed her knee in comfort. “Now, where you craving a milkshake from, Sugar?”

----

Jim had sat next to her in the booth that night. Whenever she was warm and smelled like the beach he was always craving to be closer to her. It wasn’t often he would join him and the Bay Boys so he was always elated when she did. They had ordered milkshakes and fries, Jim happy Leah had introduced him to the flavor of fries dipped in milkshakes, and took turns kissing whipped cream off the others nose. It was light and playful and for a couple of hours Jim forgot the shit show that was waiting for him at home. Forgot that his mother was probably pacing the front yard in her robe waiting for him.

They pulled up in front of her house, Jim cutting the engine before rushing around to open the door for her. He never knew how long it would take them to actually say goodbye so there was no point in keeping the car running.

“I had fun tonight,” Leah whispered as she leaned back against Jim’s car, their hands laced between them.

“Yeah, I did too. Thank you for coming and I’m sorry if any of them made you feel uncomfortable.” He kissed the top of her hand.

“They’re part of you, Jim. I’ll learn to be more okay around them.”

“They’re not the best part of me,” he chuckled as he looked down at his Converse then back up to her. “You wanna go with me to the end of midterms bonfire tomorrow?”

“Of course, Sprinkles. My parents won’t be home so I can cook you dinner beforehand if you want.”

“Perfect. I’ll be over at 6.” Leah smiled against his lips as he pulled her in, her hands releasing his so they could tangle into his hair. “You know I love you, right? Not any other girl could make me this nervous.” It was his own way of trying to quell her fears of Isla and her butt from the beach.

“I know, Jimmy, thank you. I love you, too. Only you.” He pulled her in for one last kiss and made sure to get a full handful of her backside as he did.

“Besides, it’s your butt that keeps me distracted in Pre-Calc.”

“Good night, Jim Mason,” Leah said as she kept their hands together for as long as possible as she walked backwards towards her house. He waited until her front door shut behind her before getting into his own car and heading home for the night. His hand felt empty without hers to hold.

----

“Leah this is absolutely ridiculous! This is not the Princess Diaries!” Leah had dragged Adelaide to the mall with her after their morning Government midterm in the name of getting her a new swimsuit to blow away Jim and everyone else at the bonfire that night. “No helicopter of photographers is going to come by and try to photograph you at the beach tonight.” Leah poked her head out from the curtain of the dressing room.

“It has nothing to do with that. I want Jim to see that I can fit in with his friends. That I’m not some snivelling girl for him to pity. That I look better in a thong bikini than any girl on that beach.” She snapped the curtain back with a huff.

“Only drawback will be that you can’t wear thongs because you’re constantly picking them out of your ass like a wedgie. That’s not attractive.”

“What’s not attractive is that I went straight from tennis practice yesterday with frizzy hair and no mascara.” She could hear her friend sigh from where she stood waiting for her to model her next option.

“Leah...you know Jim doesn’t care. Not that his opinion or your perception of it should make you wanted to change but...he for sure loves you.”

“We haven’t had sex yet,” Leah mumbled as she opened the curtain.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“I’m afraid that his eye is wandering because I haven’t been ready. Girls like Isla...girls like her are so experienced. If I can channel her then maybe when it finally happens, I can be more confident about it.” Adelaide was looking at her like she was an idiot. “Forget it. I’ll just wear that one piece we bought together in Santa Monica last summer. That has some sideboob.” Leah turned to go back into the dressing cubicle and change back into her leggings.

“No, stop. If that palm leaf bikini is going to give you more confidence then I think you should get it. I think you are the most beautifully intelligent creature and Jim will love you in whatever way you let him but I want you to have all the confidence in yourself that you deserve. If that thong will do it then hell I’ll pay for it.” Leah sniffled.

“You’re the best best friend ever.” The two girls embraced with watery giggles. “Let me change so we can go buy some fricking pretzel bites. I’m starving!”

----

“That spaghetti was everything I could have asked for and more,” Jim said as he waited at the bottom of the stairs for Leah to finish changing. “The meatballs tasted a little different from the last time. New recipe?”

“Yeah I’m tweaking it every time. The beef to pork ratio was a little different this time.” His further praise for her cooking died on his lips as she appeared in a lacy pink coverup.

“Is that new?”

“You like it?” She did a twirl for him was she reached his outstretched arms, Jim swallowing thickly.

“I love it. You look wonderful, Sugar, like you always do.” That was a little deflating. She had hoped she looked better than usual or sexier than usual. She guessed she would have to wait until he saw what was underneath for that change to take place.

“You promise to stay on my pace tonight?” It was a happy medium Leah had managed to reach with him. He would drink at the pace that she did. It wasn’t her asking him to completely not but it also meant she didn’t have to watch him lose control and need to be intensely taken care of for the rest of the night and following day. Jim had also promised her he hadn’t taken any pills since their discussion. He wished that he had been able to keep it.

The party was in full swing when they arrived, Jim being ushered away quickly towards the group of boys around the keg. Leah waved him away as he looked to her to make sure it was okay that he went off, the girl searching for a familiar face once her boyfriend left her. She managed to find a small group of girls from her tennis team, bouncing between them and a group of kids from her debate team.

“Come join our volleyball team, Leah!” She was interrupted from talking about the war in Yemen with a kid on the debate team and dragged to the side to play. “Take your coverup off so you don’t trip on it!” She froze when she remembered what it was that she had underneath it. She had spent the whole night not focusing on her masterplan that it had slipped her mind.

“I’m wearing something really tiny underneath. I can’t really play with it-”

“Everyone else is dressed in a little bikini. You’ll be fine.” It was now or never and the entire tennis team was staring at her like she was a lunatic. They only knew Leah as the star on the court, they didn’t know who this shy girl was. She undid the little button at the front of the coverup and let it drop, quickly running towards the net in the hopes no one would look at her too long. “Holy shit, Leah, your ass!”

“Oh God, does it look horrible?”

“Total opposite! You should wear less more often.” The girls around her snickered in agreement.

----

“Shit, Jim, is that your girlfriend?” Jim turned around expecting to be met with some sort of horrific scene. Maybe Leah had fallen during a keg stand or had thrown up her drink in the bushes. But it was neither of those things. He was met with the sight of her pert little ass on full display for the entire beach as she laughed with her friends and chased after a volleyball. “Didn’t know she had an ass like that. You’re a lucky dude.” His friend offered him a fist bump.

“Excuse me.” Jim downed the rest of what was in his cup and began to walk towards the game. He was aware that every guy he walked past had his eyes zeroed in on his girlfriend. It made his blood boil. He had never felt jealous of someone else when it came to Leah. She was always by his side or trying to shrink into the shadows. This was new territory for him and he hated it. “What do you think you’re doing?” He reached the game and his voice had taken on an edge Leah didn’t like.

“Playing a game with my friends?” She walked over to him carefully in the hopes he would lower his voice. If he had been drinking he had a tendency to be loud. She didn’t want whatever he was feeling to be broadcast across the beach.

“Everyone is looking at you.” She looked behind her to find that he was right.

“Yeah it’s kind of nice. Normally they’re all looking at me like I’m a nun or something.”

“You’re not theirs to look at. Put your pink thing back on.” Leah took a step back from him.

“Excuse me?” Disgust was laced through her tone and it hit Jim like a ton of bricks. “Don’t ever think you can tell me what to do, got it?” She didn’t give him a chance to respond, instead turning back to her game with a smile at an attempt to shake off the encounter.

----

“I’m sorry for my tone back there. I’m not used to people looking at you like that and it bothered me. You’re so...you and I just feel like I need to protect you.” She turned from where was staring out the window to regard him silently.

“You made me feel so little.”

“I’m sorry. Having to listen to them all make comments about things…”

“Things you haven’t even done yet with me?” Jim wasn’t insecure about his relationship with Leah, they were strong and sure of themselves and the path they were going down, but hearing the boys at the party trying to ask him questions about sex with Leah and things like that...it had awoken a possessive nature within him he hadn’t known was within him.

“I love you just the way you are. You don’t have to change for anyone. Especially me. I missed your sideboob one piece tonight.” That managed to get a laugh out of her.

“That was option number two.” Things felt right again as she laced her fingers through his in the center console, Jim more used to driving with her hand in his or his on her knee than without. They pulled up to her house and the lights were off. “Guess my parents aren’t coming home tonight. Want to come in?” He nodded and followed her into the house and all the way up her stairs to her room.

“Feel like taking a shower?” Jim asked as he licked his lips. Something about her in lace being bathed by the moonlight coming through her window was making him feel warm and molten inside. He needed her close and he needed it now. He followed her dutifully into the bathroom, helping each other undress as the water heated up and steam filled the room. They behaved for the first part of their shower, Jim letting his hand wander once she had finished rinsing the conditioner out of her hair. Leah gripped his shoulders as a gasp fell from her mouth at the way he teasingly worked between her legs. “You like it when I touch you like this?”

“Yes,” she breathed as she parted her legs so he could wiggle a finger into her easier. He pumped it slowly in and out as she moaned into their kiss, hitting that sweet spot nestled inside of her every time. “Faster.” He obliged and added another finger for good measure. She buried her face in the crook of his neck as the pressure snapped inside of her and his arm wrapped around her waist as her knees wobbled slightly.

“Don’t get tired on me yet. I have a lot more apologizing to do.” Jim leaned back in to kiss her but she stopped him with her hand against his mouth.

“I want...I want you to take all of me tonight, Jim.” He shook the hair that had fallen in front of her eyes to make sure he was reading her properly. “I’m ready. I love you and I want to be with you in that way. Want to show you how much you mean to me.”

“You don’t need to have sex with me just because of my nasty behavior tonight, Leah-”

“I promise that’s not why, Jimmy. I’m yours. Fully and forever.” He kissed her as his way of agreeing to her plan, Leah turning off the shower as his lips pressed against hers with a bruising force. Jim began to walk her backwards and Leah squeaked. “Jim stop! I’ll slip!”  

“Easy fix for that.” He lifted her easily so her legs could wrap around his waist, Jim deftly stepping over the lip of the shower and carrying her back to her room. Leah bounced as her back hit the bed, Jim almost growling at the sight of her bare and warm and pliant right in front of him. His lips started at the knot of her ankle and worked kisses all the way up to her nose before he settled back down onto her nipples. He licked and sucked until they were hard as rock in his mouth and her legs were squirming for friction underneath him.

“Need your mouth down there, Jim,” she panted. He eagerly followed her orders. Her clit found its home wrapped in his tongue, his mouth working her back over the edge that his fingers had only a little bit ago in the shower.

“You sure you want to do this?” He came back over to make sure he could look into her eyes.

“Positive. Want all of you to have all of me.” She bent her elbows so she could reach into her nightstand and pulled out a condom, Jim looking at her quizzically. “Addy bought them for me after we went bikini shopping. She thought the thong might have an effect on you.” Jim kissed both her cheeks as they flushed a brilliant red, rolling the condom down his length with ease.

“Ready?”

“I’m nervous. You’ve done this before and I haven’t. What if I’m no good?”

“Leah, I’m nervous too. My first time was a bumbling three minute mess with some random girl visiting from Ann Arbor. They said it’s different when you love someone so...it’s like my first real time.”

“Nothing can go wrong when we’re together, right?” It was what her and Jim had said to each other since the first time he had taken pills around her. As long as they had each other, they would have someone to look out for them and take care of them.

“Nothing,” he sealed his promise with a kiss, “Going to go slow. Nod when you’re ready for more.” It wasn’t painful as Leah had been lead to believe, just different. With each press Jim made into her she took a second or two to breathe and readjust before nodding for him to push in a little bit further. Jim was using all his self control at the sensation of being inside her after having dreamed of it for so long. Once he was in far enough, he began to slowly rock his hips in the same pace and depth she liked when he used his fingers. “Okay?” She nodded and tried to focus on the sensation of being filled by the boy she loved. Of being fully together with him, with anyone, for the first time.

“Are you close?” Leah could tell that he was by the way his grunts and groans were falling from his mouth in quicker succession. “Come for me, Jim.” Her fingers locked behind his head as he looked directly into her eyes as his hips stilled and he stuttered her name.

“Fuck, Leah, you didn’t-”

“You made me come twice tonight. It was my first time. It’s totally normal for girls to not come their first time.” He fell over onto his back next to her.

“Give me a minute to catch my breath and I’ll make it three times.” She giggled and rolled over to press a kiss to his chest.

“Can you promise me something?”

“Anything.”

“Never worry about another guy again. It’s only you, Jim, it’s only ever going to be you.” He twirled a piece of her hand around his finger slowly and puckered his lips as a way of asking her for a kiss.

“I can promise you that. I love you, Sugar.”

“I love you too, Sprinkles.” They just had to hope that love would always be enough.

Tags

@avesatanormalpeoplescareme

@tickled--pinkmoodpoisoning

@aveiangdon

@langdvn

#jim mason #cody fern #michael langdon #duncan shepherd #the tribes of palos verdes

[peonies-and-swords]

Message- Loki x reader oneshot !

Hello guys! Enjoy this new fic ! Mostly angst and fluff !

Plot : The reader waits for Loki to come back but receives strange messages. What has happened to Loki?

Warning: None I believe 

Words: 4200

Author’s note: This long fic takes place during Infinity War. Why would I do something like that? I honestly don’t now, it hurt so bad to write this story. But I think it’s kind of a catharsis for the pain that IW brought me. So get your tissues out and get ready ! 

Vocabulary : Y/N = your name

Loki Tag list : @lisalisa007  ( message me if you want to be added to a tag list ! ) 

Masterpost 

ENJOY !

She waited, and waited. For hours, days, months, she had waited for his return. And suddenly a message.

"This is the Asgardian refugee vessel Statesman! We are under assault! I repeat, we are under assault!"

Loki had given her a radio receiver many years ago when they had first met. He said that if he needed to send her an information, she would magically receive it, even if he was on the other side of the universe, even if he wasn’t able to speak. The message would find a way to her through the little device. 

That day, when she heard the first words, her heart skipped a beat 

"Asgardian refugee vessel? What is going on?" She mumbled to herself. 

She held the device hoping to hear some more. She often asked to Loki why she couldn’t send him message like he was sending her. He replied that when he would settle in Midgard he would teach her how to use the device. But since it dealt with quite a bit of magic he insisted that she would need some kind of training. 

She wished he had listened to her, and took the time to teach her, at least she wouldn’t be so anxious if she could just ask him if he was okay. 

“under assault”? Who ? Who was stupid enough to attack an Asgardian vessel? 

Last time she heard about Loki, Ragnarok had just happened. He sent her a message to notify her that he would land on Earth in a few days. 

"Y/N, my love, I’m coming home. We finally defeated Hela… I can’t really believe what happened in the last few hours. I mean… This morning I was still on Sakaar… Then I was back on Asgard but only to see it burn. Few years ago, I told you I wanted to see that place burn to ashes. But with its destruction… I can’t help to feel like I have just lost the place that reminded me the most of my few happy memories. I still remember Mother teaching me tricks in the palace. It’s… quite … Uhm… embarrassing to be that depressed over something I wished for, years ago… But let’s talk about something else… I long for the sight of you my dear. I cannot wait to feel you near me. Just feel your breath on my skin. Hear your voice. But I have great news… Soon I’ll be back. Soon. We believe we’re 5 or 6 days away from Midgard. I cannot wait. Maybe this time you’ll meet my brother. I really hope so. I talked to him about you, he was really exited knowing that someone cared about me other than him, and that I cared about some other than myself. I need to go now, we have things to figure out before we land on your planet. I love you Y/N. See you soon my love."

She remembered those last words and tried to think about anything but the message she received last. She switched on the TV, listen a bit to a show about famous criminals but turned it off when Loki’s name was brought up. She decided to call her friends to talk about what she heard and maybe try to find an explanation with them. Most of her friends didn’t know about Loki. Mostly because last time he was publicly on Earth he did try to rule over the entire planet. But she trusted her closest friend with that secret. They used to share an apartment during college, but Y/N had moved out few years ago when things got serious with Loki. Her two best friends still shared their old flat together. She called them, needing some mental support. 

"Y/N?" Asked Rose 

"Hi Rose! I kinda need you both right know…" 

"Oh, are you okay ? Let me just get E real quick." She paused a second "E? Can I come in ? Y/N is calling, something doesn’t feel right"

"Sure … Hi Y/N! Is everything alright?"

"Hey… Well actually, no … I’m really sorry to bother you. I know you’re really busy but … I just can’t wrap my mind around some things"

"Don’t worry I was getting kinda fed up by that phonetic article anyway" replied E

"You two remember the device Loki uses to send me messages ?"

"Yeah we do" 

"Well I received a strange one this afternoon… It was like a distress call?"

"Oh god" said both Rose and E at the same time 

"Yeah … Hum well… Loki said some days ago that he was on a ship and the message today sounded like that ship was under assault." She paused a little, trying to calm down a bit. "But the worse is that I haven’t had any news since then… And that was 6 hours ago"

"Okay let’s stay calm" tried Rose" I mean once you received a part of a message and the second part 2 days later because the time goes by strangely on Sakator" 

"Sakaar but yes…"

"Yeah well maybe it’s the same thing! Maybe they already beat the shit out of the idiots that attacked the ship !" 

"Yeah but why would they even emit a distress call if it wasn’t something serious? " asked Elena. 

"Not helping E." replied Rose 

"No but she’s right! From what I understood Thor was also on the ship. Why two fricking gods would be sending a distress call if it wasn’t actually for something bad? I don’t feel so good girls… I just can’t understand what’s happening ? What that message means and more importantly why Loki wanted me to hear it?" 

"Listen Y/N I won’t even try to lie and say that I know what’s happening and that all will be okay. This sounds fucking scary. I think we better go to yours and just… I don’t know … wait together for a bit?" Said E

"Yeah that’s a great idea, we’ll get some pizza while we’re getting there, we may wait for a bit" added Rose.

"Thank you girls… I don’t think I can be alone right now…" 

She didn’t have to wait long before her two friends arrived at her house. She had been sitting on her couch and staring at the little transmitter. They ate and tried to find explanations. Loki had never send her a message from someone else. This was the first time another voice than his resonated from the device. Something in Y/N was telling her that he was in danger. Her friends tried to distract her, putting on the first Jurassic Park. But with all the emotions of that day, Y/N fell asleep almost immediately. 

She was woken up by a buzz in her hand. She opened her eyes and the light on the transmitter was blinking.

"Girls ?" She said with a trembling voice.

"Does that mean?" Asked E

"I think you should listen to it Y/N" 

Y/N pressed a little button and suddenly the group could hear a the new message 

"Hear me and rejoice. You have had the privilege of being saved by the great Thanos. You may think this is suffering, no. It is salvation. The universal scale tips toward balance because of your sacrifice. Smile. For even in death, you have become children of Thanos."

A strange voice filled the room. Y/N’s eyes filled with tears. 

"What does he mean death ? What is going on? Y/N? Do you know a Thanos?" Asked E.

"Did Loki ever told you about a Thanos?" Added Rose. 

Y/N just stayed silent. What could she say more? Why did she receive this message and nothing else? Was Loki injured ? Was he … No she couldn’t think about this. She felt sick, got up and headed to the bathroom. Quickly, she was fully crying, sitting on her floor. She felt Rose sit next to her while E was silently crying and leant against the doorframe. They stayed like that for a bit. Y/N tried to speak, say what was going on inside her. But nothing came out. Every time she tried she only cried louder or felt like she couldn’t breathe at all anymore.

Her eyes still filled with tears she decided to head to her room. She couldn’t even look at the picture of her and Loki that was taped to the wall. She laid on her bed not knowing what else to do and holding the transmitter close to her chest. Again her friends had followed her and just sat next to her, slowly trying to comfort her petting her head. 

Her mind wandered off almost immediately to the day she met Loki. Five years had passed since that day but she still remembered it like if it was yesterday. 

It was a cold autumn morning when she arrived at uni. She headed directly to the coffee machine like she always did. Her face still muffled in her scarf, she noticed a tall man dressed in a all black suit talking to another man near the vending machines. His black hair was a little wavy and he stood very upright. When she approached the two men, she saw the black haired man looking at her. His blue eyes locked with Y/N’s for a moment. She bought a cup of coffee and decided to go to her class. She walked back in front of the two men but this time didn’t meet the gaze of the mysterious man. Y/N had been slowly sipping out of her cup waiting outside the auditorium when she spotted the tall man again. He looked around a bit, turned to her direction and walked up to her. 

"Hello I believe we have not been introduced." He began.

"Well I don’t believe we have either" she smiled a bit. "I’m Y/N. I study English literature. And you ? With that suit you must be a witch trying to get his witching degree" 

"Not far from that… I’m Loki" he said while holding out a hand. 

"Loki? I believe I heard that name before…" 

"It comes from the norse mythology so maybe you read it somewhere? Also I have a homophone that almost made kneel the entire planet so …" 

"Oh yes I remember that guy! He wore that kind of strange helmet of some sort… Sounds kinky if you ask me" she stopped a bit and realized what she had just said "Oh god that sounded so creepy I’m so sorry! I just don’t really have a filter when I’m tired and I haven’t yet drank my morning coffee… I’m really sorry"

"Actually … That was pretty funny" he replied smirking. 

"I’m really flattered, but lying won’t get you anywhere with me." She said laughing. 

"Be careful I’m pretty good at that."

"Uh, so mischievous" 

"Well…" he winked and changed subject. "Actually, I was here only to talk to an old friend, Dr. Hiprat."

"I believe I heard about him…"

"He is pretty well known in the mythology study field."

"Yes, I think I read something about his new researches on the links between the different mythologies around the world"

"Yes, well I do not agree with part of his thesis and as a caring old friend I thought I’d pop in France to have a few words with him"

"That’s really nice of you"

"It indeed is" he responded with a devilish look in his eyes. 

"Well, I need to go right now." she said looking at her watch and at the other students who were getting inside the auditorium. "And I think we should probably talk about something else… As Nietzsche would have said "God is dead" "

"And you let me like that? Alone ? Then I shall wait for you here until your lecture ends so that I can prove to you that Nietzsche was wrong." 

"Oh would you look at that! Am I already one of your old friends that you care for, and give lectures to?"

"Oh no, don’t worry love, I have other plans for you." 

She spent the lecture without being able to focus on the matter discussed that day, clearly only focusing on the man that could be waiting for her just outside the room. When she came out of the auditorium Loki was patiently reading a book, waiting for her. 

"I don’t recall seeing this book before… What are you reading?" She asked. 

"Oh nothing… Just…" He stopped when she took the book from his hands. 

"Vian… Froth on the daydream… I love Vian! You should read I spit on your graves next… A little trashy but each time I re-read it it’s just…"

"Like you read it for the first time but from a different perspective? Yeah, that’s what I like in Vian’s writing…" he interrupted her.

"Wow, handsome and with good tastes in literature… Are you even real? No illusion ?" She pinched a little his arm "No, clearly you’re here" they laughed in unisson.

"So apart from our shared love for Vian … Tell me a little more about you, I’d like to know you." He asked smiling a little.

"Well…" 

Y/N shifted in her bed, getting out of her daydream. She looked to her side and saw her two friend lying on her bed too. She looked at the metallic device in her hands. No new message. As she got up, Rose and Elena looked at her. 

"I think … I think I should be alone now…"

"Are you sure? We could just stay with you" responded Elena.

"Yeah, we could sleep here tonight if…"

"No" interrupted Y/N "I need to be alone, if I receive a new message … I’ll keep you updated…"

She thanked them for being there for her. Even if she needed to be alone, she was thankful to have such great friends. 

When they left, she went back in her room and decided to sit on the edge of her bed. She thought about the time Loki told her about his real identity. 

They had spent the evening at Y/N’s place. They had known each other for few months and been dating for a little while. They were eating some Chinese takeaway from the restaurant nearby. Loki had been really silent the whole time.

"Are you okay Loki? You didn’t even say a word since we got back."

"Yes, love, I’m alright… I just … I can’t stop thinking about something."

"Well, maybe if you talk about it you’ll feel better?"

"Do you love me Y/N? Really love me?"

"I think by now you would have gathered that from the 70 times a day I tell you I love you."

"Please. Answer me."

"Yes, I love you. Really love you."

"Would you still love me if you knew that I lied to you about something important?"

"How important are we talking?"

"Like who I am …"

"I’m not sure I’m following what you’re saying…" said Y/N moving back a little.

"You remember the first time we met … I told you I had a homophone that tried to make the entire planet kneel… Well I lied… I tried to rule Midgard."

"You what?"

"I know, I should have told you everything before. But I was scared… I just-"

"Did you really kill all these people ?"

"I did, yes." He stopped seing Y/N almost crying. "I did, but I was forced to do it, I was manipulated. I was told that if I did what they told me, the torture would end."

"You were tortured? Oh my god ! Loki…"

"Yes… Mentally and physically… I was tortured, they used every single good memory I had to hurt me."

"Who ? What-"

"Let’s just say it was some kind of big-purple-toe-nail-looking guy… I won’t say his name. Mostly because it still hurts to talk about it. But also because I’m a bit scared that he might have put a spell on his name… Like in Harry Potter with You-Know-Who."

"All jokes aside… Why didn’t you tell me before? I mean… You killed people. Even under torture… I’m still dating a murderer."

"Well exactly. Listen. I’m- I’m not sure I’m even worthy of your love. But that day. I just felt something I never did. You left a mark on my heart. Just with one glance I was yours. And I couldn’t risk to never see you again because of my past. I knew I couldn’t live without you. So I thought that if you didn’t recognize me, I’d just lie about my identity. But I can’t anymore. I love you too much to lie to you."

"Loki… I understand why you did that… and even if I think I’ll need some time to really process what this means… I love you. And you’re worthy of my love, I assure you."

"I love you too Y/N"

"So … if you are the Loki… you’re not human right? You’re … A…"

"A god, the god of mischief. But also a Frost Giant."

"A what now?" 

"Please don’t be scared" Loki said while a green halo moved across his hand. 

"Wow … You’re turning blue! Oh my God! That’s so cool!"

"Please call me Loki"

"You cocky bastard!" Y/N laughed as Loki relaxed seeing that she wasn’t going to leave him after all these revelations. 

Once again Y/N got out of her daydream. This time it was the transmitter that brought her back to reality. A new message. She pressed the button and listened carefully. 

"Almighty Thanos... I, Loki, prince of Asgard... Odinson... the rightful king of the Jotunheim... god of mischief... do hereby pledge to you... my undying fidelity.

-Undying? You should chose your words more carefully.

-You… will never be... a god

-No resurrections this time."

No…. The first voice was clearly Loki. He seemed strange, afraid. The second one… That was the Thanos from before? Trying to understand what this message meant, suddenly the realization came to Y/N. No resurrection. Loki was dead. She felt her heart skip a beat. She stopped breathing. She felt tears running down her face, she hadn’t even noticed she was crying at first. How was it possible. Where was his brother? He wouldn’t have let Loki die now that they were together again. Was he dead too ? How could a God die? 

No. It was impossible. Loki couldn’t be dead. Couldn’t leave her like that alone. She loved him and now he was gone? No. Simply impossible. 

Maybe after all he wasn’t dead… No resurrection? He faked his death multiple times, this one was just another one. He could not leave her. No. 

Maybe … She had heard about Valhalla. Maybe Loki was just there. Maybe there was a way for her to bring him back. He was a magic being after all! Why should death apply to him? She felt a rush of anger all throughout her body. She threw the transmitter across the room, screaming. 

She fell to her knees, crying louder and louder. How could he leave her? 

Something in her clicked, she would never see him again. Even if she loved him with all of her soul, this wouldn’t matter. 

Loki was dead. 

She was lying on the floor, tears slowly falling down. 

Some time passed, Y/N didn’t even know for how long she had been lying on the floor when she heard a loud bang. Thunder. She got up and looked out of the window nearby. No rain to be seen, the storm was near but hadn’t reached her apartment yet. She turned her back to the window and tried to think. Obviously Loki wanted her to hear this … Why ? Was there a hidden message for her to decipher ? Or was it really his last words ? She felt her throat closing and tears falling down her cheeks again. 

Suddenly someone knocked at her door. She looked at the clock, it was 2 AM. Before going to the door she checked her phone to see if it was the girls who were back. No message, nothing on the transmitter neither. Another knock, this time way louder. She didn’t dare moving. 

"Y/N? I know you’re here! Please open the door!" Said a familiar voice 

"Who is it?"

"It’s Thor, open please"

She got to the door and opened it. There stood the god, very different from what she remember and how Loki described him. He had short hair and was missing an eye. He was out of breath, Y/N welcomed him inside her flat. She noticed that he was holding a small metallic thing, that sort of looked like her transmitter but only bigger. 

"Where is Loki?" She asked 

"Y/N… I believe you know…"

"No."

"Loki… He died. He was killed by Thanos. I don’t even know what I should say. It’s the first time I meet the person that last made my brother truly happy and I’m here to announce you his death. I just-" he paused a little. " I don’t know what to say. I tried to save him. But I wasn’t able to. I wanted to die there with him, but I couldn’t. See, I promised to do something for him. He sacrificed himself for our people. It’s the least I can do for him."

"How? How could you let him die?" Said Y/N crying.

"I know, I blame myself too. With Loki gone, I’ve lost everything. I had the last few days to think about everything I did wrong. I hope I’ll get to meet him again in Valhalla just to tell him how sorry I am."

"Few days ? But… But I just got the last message?"

"I believe that time travels strangely when associated to this transmitter, sometimes a little late." He said while pointing at Y/N’s transmitter lying on the ground. "Listen Y/N, Loki gave me this and made me swear to bring it to you. I don’t know what is in it, but it must be very important as he gave it to me just before sacrificing himself."

"Are you sure it wasn’t an illusion? I just-"

"Sadly, I believe this time it’s true" he responded as she nodded slightly. "I need to go know, here take the transmitter, I need to find a way to kill the monster responsible for his death."

"Thank you Thor."

"Thank you Y/N. I know he was happy with you, I wished you had more time with him. He deserved to be happy."

She waited for the god to get out of her apartment before inspecting the device she was handed. It looked almost identical to hers. Only bigger and with 4 buttons. Almost like an old cassette tape player. She pushed what looked the most like a play-button. Suddenly a hologram was standing in front of her. Loki was standing in front of her. She almost fell backwards, and just sit down on the floor as the image began speaking. 

"Y/N, my love. I am terribly sorry for what happened. If you are seeing this message, I’m dead. I believe I need to explain what must have happened. You remember I’ve told you about some purple guy who tortured me. Well his name is Thanos and I believe that if we meet again, I won’t make it alive. Unfortunately, an hour ago, a ship was spotted getting closer to ours. Seeing its size on our radar I’m almost sure it’s Thanos’s. So I’m taking the few moments I have left to tell how much I loved you. How much you meant me. And how happy I am to have been able to share a little of my life with you. Don’t be sad for me, I know what is coming and I’m waiting for it peacefully knowing that for now you are safe. The five years we have spent together have been the best of my long life. You helped tame my demons and calm the rage inside me. You saved me." The hologram stopped for a bit, Y/N could see through her own tears, that Loki was also crying. "I cherish every memory I have with you, Y/N. I would go through torture again if it mean being able to kiss you one more time. To feel your heart beat close to mine… I will give this transmitter to Thor and make him swear to bring it to you. I want you to meet him. Maybe you can support each other now that I’m gone. I need to go now. Y/N please remember that you made me the happiest I’ve ever been. I’ve always loved you and always will. I’m so sorry for leaving you now. I love you Y/N."  

Y/N felt her heart racing, she stopped breathing for a bit, not being able to process what she just heard. Her finger moved without she even realizing it. She pressed a button and heard Loki’s last words again as the hologram reappeared. 

" I love you Y/N."  

Tears were forming little creeks on her cheeks. Outside the storm was raging, thunder and lightening were mixed with a heavy rain. But nothing seemed to match the intensity of Y/N’s pain. 

#loki #Loki Laufeyson #loki odinson #loki fanfic #Loki Angst #loki fluff #loki (marvel) #marvel #loki x reader #loki x you #mcu #Thor Odinson #thor #loki oneshot

[superiorbiscuits]

“It’s 1907, you’ve never seen a leg before.”

Have you ever had a role that you just totally loved?

This is gonna be a long post about my summer choreographing a community theater production of Oklahoma! and performing as Dream Laurey (and ensemble). A LOT of it is me reiterating some of the compliments I received and I know it seems super braggy and it probably is, but I want to write down the happy things, not the sad ones. I want to remember the good times, and I’ve found over the course of my life that those are harder to remember.

So last summer, when I was choreographing (and an ensemble member in) Annie for this same community theater group (which I talked about here), about three weeks before opening night I heard tell from the guy playing Daddy Warbacks, who I’ll call D, that the next summer he’d be directing Oklahoma! He had directed our show in 2016, and I was excited that he’d be directing again. I was unfamiliar with Oklahoma (the story of how I’m unfamiliar with most musicals is long and emotional, so that’s for another time) so when I got home from rehearsal that night I immediately read the plot summary on Wikipedia and came away dreaming of two things:

1. I really want to choreograph it, because choreographing the Dream Ballet sounded AWESOME

2. I also really really want to play Dream Laurey

That dream festered for the better part of a year. I got the choreographer gig last year at the last minute, but I figured if they were to ask me to do it this year, it’d be around February/March. Well February came and went, and nothing. Sometime in March I was talking to a woman I’ll call K. K takes contemporary and hip hop dance classes with me off and on, and both her mother and older brother have been in every musical I’ve been in. She told me they had offered her the job of stage manager, and a couple weeks later she told me she’d accepted. She then talked about productions meetings they’d started to have, and strongly hinted that the group’s long-time choreographer was back that summer.

I honestly wasn’t hurt. That choreographer is 1. good at choreographing, 2. had been choreographing for this group for several years, and 3. is about ten years older than me. I knew there was a strong possibility that she would return, and they would go with her rather than me. I was disappointed, but not at all surprised. I resigned myself to the hope that I could be Dream Laurey, and comforting myself with the fact that I wouldn’t be as stressed as I was last summer (when, I should note, I was working 16 less hours a week than I do now).

Well, literally one week before auditions I got an email from D with the subject line “Choreographer for Oklahoma” and my heart started POUNDING. Sure enough, I open it to read that the long-time choreographer was supposed to do the show, but had to suddenly drop out to deal with personal family stuff. My thoughts were: oh my gosh, that’s so much work, this is so last minute, I’m working so much at my job omg, but of course I have do this, I’ll hate myself if I don’t. 

And also, wow why was God giving me this incredible gift? (The circumstances of how I got the choreographer gig last summer were eerily similar)

I attended my first production meeting a few days later, to which the rest of the production team were excited to see me and vocalized how happy they were that I was on board once again (most of the team was involved in one way or another last summer too). The next day was the first audition and K came over to where I was doing dance stuff before we started to say that on the news that the other choreographer had to drop out, I was the first name that came up. So I wasn’t D’s first pick, but I was his second, and that was pretty cool. 

Auditions happened, we got a killer principal cast and D allowed me to cast myself as Dream Laurey. We also got a Dream Curly, a guy I didn’t know at all I’ll call J (pictured above), who was not a dancer and had never been in a play before. But he seemed to pick up the dances fast enough during auditions that I cast him in the role. 

The next week we settled how long the Dream Ballet would be, because we had to cut some of it. But I came with my proposed cuts, which were a few sections that I honestly thought were superfluous, and D agreed, and let me keep the rest so the Dream Ballet went from ~13 minutes to 10. 

And then my panic set in. Here’s the list of things that were “firsts” for me in this show, as both a choreographer and a dancer/performer.

First time choreographing a ballet pas de deux

First time teaching a ballet pas de deux

First time dancing a ballet pas de deux

All the same as the above three, but contemporary instead of ballet

First time choreographing a dramatic dance

First time choreographing a fight

First time performing a romantic role

First stage kiss

First time playing the main character (albeit for only ten minutes, but STILL)

First time performing a dramatic role (other than tiny, minor characters)

First featured role in a musical

Additionally, neither the ballet nor the contemporary pas de deux could have any lifts, cause I know how much I weight and I’m not gonna force any guy to pick me up unless he’s a fricking powerlifter. 

So yeah, all of the above = panic.

But I got to work. Rehearsals were... an adventure. I didn’t have nearly as many dance rehearsals allotted to me as I did last year, and really struggled at times with the workload. But the production team was fantastic to work with, we had a good cast, and like a couples weeks before opening night things finally fell enough into place that I realized it wasn’t going to be a disaster and started truly enjoying myself. ALSO I roped in a 16 year-old who’s been in these musicals forever to be my dance captain, which she CRUSHED (like seriously, she helped so so much), and her and another girl were good enough dancers that I was able to dump a lot of choreography on them and they picked it up in no time (like, they danced so much we credited them as “featured dancers” in the program)

The non-Dream Ballet dances were good. Not as fantastically-amazing as I wanted them to be, but good. The Dream Ballet? 

I was so nervous each night. Especially opening night, I was petrified. But I had two amazing scene partners in Dream Curly, and Jud. J calmed himself beforehand by going over the choreograph, I calmed myself by stretching, and giving J a fist bump just before going to our places. Four shows, no major mistakes. Although, the second and third nights I got sweat in my eyes real bad halfway through. I tried to fight it at first, but then I realized I was dancing the sad part anyway, so I just let myself cry a tear or two. The last show I like, legit cried as a combo of sweat in my eyes, being super in character (who like, would understandably cry in that circumstance), and being so sad at it being my last time dancing the role.

I don’t really know how it went, honestly. I think it went well enough that I am satisfied. I have videos from the last few rehearsals, but each performance FELT better than the rehearsals. But people’s reception.... well here are a few highlights of the comments I received, as well as just little random tidbits.

1. First off is SEVERAL people told me I made them cry. The first and most significant was D, who announced it when we were doing a LIVE RADIO INTERVIEW. Like, he interrupted me talking about the Dream Ballet to say “it makes me cry every night” and then there’s like three seconds of silence cause I DIDN’T KNOW THAT AND DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO RESPOND. Another significant one was the woman who played Laurey (also pictured above) (who was always super nice about sharing the role with me and such an encouragement) (Also I’ll came her P).

2. K’s Dad, who has seen at least a decade’s worth of shows put on by this community theater group, told me that this show’s choreo was the best he’d seen. Also K’s boyfriend (whom I had never met before) came up to tell me how amazing the Dream Ballet was.

3. One of our backstage tech ladies (who CRUSHED it, and has been involved in these shows for like a decade) told me her cousin’s girlfriend said “I’ve never seen a ballet before, but if it’s anything like that Dream Ballet I’ll totally go see one” which like DANG what a compliment omg.

4. Not so much a compliment, but our assistant stage manager (I’ll call M) signed on to her job just after auditions, so she wasn’t involved in casting. We knew each other from previous shows though. ANYWAY we got through TWO MONTHS of rehearsals, and were hanging out at Wendy’s after our second-to-last show and I made some comment about J being a friend of P who she brought to auditions and our assistant stage manager was like “I have all this time thought J was your boyfriend.” I was super confused, so i asked for clarification and she was like “yeah I definitely thought y’all were dating and you brought him so that he could play Dream Curly with you.” So like, I guess we had good stage chemistry?

5. ALSO SOMEWHAT RELATED: The first part of the Dream Ballet is the 3-minute ballet pas de deux between myself and Dream Curly, which ends with us kissing and then him running offstage. We rehearsed the Dream Ballet in little tidbits here and there, so the first time most of the cast + crew saw it all together was like a week and a half before we opened, so we were already at the theater, and most of the cast was backstage in the wings waiting for their entrances. And one of my friends in the cast told me all the younger girls (like preteens and early teens) were straining to see and asking each other “are Merilee and J actually kissing?!” Which like, idk it makes me laugh

6. ALSO related: I went to talk to K and M before one performance and they were like “HEY we were talking about the Dream Ballet and how it just appeared, completely finished one day? How did that happen?” Cause they hadn’t realized all the little rehearsals I’d done with people prior to that day. 

7. Three little girls came up to me after a performance to get my autograph and two of them excitedly told me about how they were taking ballet classes and they were ADORABLE.

8. One of the preteens in the cast (who has been in these shows for years and her mom does tech backstage) ‘s dad came up to me after the last show and told how well I danced and what a great job I did with the choreography and then was like “you should dance at weddings! You should have people pay you money to come and have a little stage their wedding reception and dance and people can watch you!” and it was just... I could tell he was very well meaning, but like, dude what a weird thing to say. 

9. An older guy (who played Abernathy when we did Guys and Dolls in 2015) told me he’d seen Oklahoma many many times in his life, but that ours was the best Dream Ballet he’d ever seen.

10. A friend of mine (we were in Guys and Dolls together, but mainly we just talk cause we both love the McElroys) told me at his birthday party like two weeks after he came and saw the show that the Dream Ballet was far and away the best part of the show. 

11. This is something a friend of mine (who was Ms Hannigan in Annie last year and Mammy Yokum in Lil Abner the year before that) posted on my FB like, a week after we closed:

Like what a SWEETHEART.

12. This was something someone commented on a photo a friend posted of us from the show. I do not know this person AT ALL:

13. At a party at D’s house after our Friday night show I was sitting on the porch talking with some of the cast and crew and parents (it was chill and nice) and D and the guy that played Curly were talking about how they had both been in several productions of different shows, the first being when they were in high school, and D said “I guess everyone just has that one show from high school that they’ll do over and over again” and I kinda sighed and was like “I don’t have one since Guys and Dolls in 2015 was my first musical” and D apparently didn’t know that cause he stopped and was like “YOU’RE KIDDING” and I was like nah man, I didn’t start doing musicals until I was 21 and this is my 4th musical and he was so surprised (he was in Guys and Dolls that year, played Nathan Detroit)

14. I also talked to him after our closing show, thanking him for letting me do this and what a dream come true it was (well, I tried to tell him but I started crying) and he said I did a really wonderful job not just with the choreo and dancing but with the acting and I was like “thanks, that’s what I was most nervous about, since I’ve never played a romantic role, or a dramatic role at all” and he like, couldn’t believe it, because I had done such a great job.

15. The final, most incredible thing. During the above conversation, D told me that should he ever be in need of a choreographer in the future (and the likelyhood is that yes, he will be) that I will be the FIRST PERSON HE CALLS. Which if you remember, I was not the first person he called this summer. I still can’t totally process what an amazing compliment that was, but I’m so immensely grateful.

So yeah, long and braggy post, but I really just, want to remember this.

I had so much FUN in this role. I didn’t talk much about that, but man it was so great being Dream Laurey. It’s an experience I won’t soon forget <3

#personal #long post #mer choreographs a musical #hot hot hottie

[lyricsbylincoln]

-̗̀ —   “ i come bearing edible encouragement. ”  lincoln moves to set the cooke tray onto the countertop, but he can so much as blink, whole thing clatters to the ground. a musical laugh bubbles past upturned lips. “ crap. clearly, i am incapable of being slick. so now we’ll just have to make due with encouragement of the verbal variety, huh? ”

or alternatively :  whaddup, my dudes !!  it is linc comin’ atchu with my songwriter beb #2, LINCOLN MONROE .  you know what to do! don’t forget to like, subscribe, and leave a comment below !

(KEIYNAN LONSDALE, CISMALE, HE/HIM) i hear LINCOLN MONROE has a link to ALL OF THE BANDS. the TWENTY-FOUR year old is a SONGWRITER, apparently. he's so PACIFIC and CHATOYANT, but can also be kind of TRACTABLE and INGENUOUS. i hope he finds success with the band. i'm kinda interested in hearing more about them. 

gonna format this v simply in bullets this time, since i have to leave for work relatively soon & i wanna get it out here!

lincoln grew up in upstate new york after being adopted by kirsten & peter monroe when he was just an infant. they provided a very stable, lovely home. like?? his mother was the unofficial Neighborhood Mom. all the kids were always at the monroe household, sippin’ kool aids, snackin’ on homemade cookies. kirsten monroe is literally the ultimate affectionate, beautiful soul. in fact, when lincoln was 4, she convinced her husband to adopt lincoln’s adopted sister after her family was killed in a housefire three towns over. she’s about six months older than him, and honestly would be a lovely addition to the rp if y’all wanted to bring her in? essentially after the monroes adopted her, she and lincoln grew positively inseparable. 

lincoln expressed an interest in dance by the time he turned 5, so his parents eagerly enrolled him in dance lessons! pretty soon he hopped studios to a competitive school and began competing in contemporary/ballet dance competitions.

then came a full-ride scholarship to a performing arts high school in new york city. his parents weren’t going to say no  ( the monroe’s are characteristic people-pleasers )  so they made the three-hour drive to the city & dropped lincoln off for his first year. many tears were shed, hugs were exchanged, and his mother made lincoln promise not to forget about them back home. he’d skype them every freakin’ night.

at this school, lincoln became captain of the contemporary / hip hop dance team. they took national and international titles like they were kids in a candy store. this squad was insane. and with lincoln’s choreo, the awards just kept on coming. after he graduated, lincoln auditioned for the traveling cast of the wiz and snagged an ensemble role. he traveled with the cast for seven months until he decided it was time to put down some roots on the west coast.

at this point, all was well at home. he continued his daily contact with his family, and the monroe group chat was always booming. so lincoln didn’t think to suspect anything was going on at home beyond the usual. his mother spoke about neighborhood baking parties; his father spoke about the work he was doing at the state house as attorney general. all was well.

( tw: illness, hospitals, terminal diagnoses )  the phone call came on the eve before his 21st birthday, after the opening night performance of rent at los angeles theater. kirsten was in the hospital. she’d collapsed while helping to set up for the local church’s benefit concert. his father wouldn’t disclose much information beyond that lincoln should not fly home. against his better judgment, lincoln finished out the two-week run of rent before booking a ticket back to new york. he expected his mother to be out of the hospital by that time, and she’d indicated as much over the phone.

when lincoln’s plane touched down, no one was there to pick him up. kirsten was back in the er -- but lincoln only found that out by pressuring his sister until she caved and told him what was really going on:  three months ago, kirsten had been diagnosed with stage 3 leukemia. and no one in the family had thought to give lincoln a proper notice. 

kirsten was in and out of treatment for several years, reaching short periods of remission before her levels went awry again. lincoln visited home when he could, but once he began booking more consistent jobs, the cross-country flights became more difficult. he still talks on the phone to his mother each and every day, and will absolutely cancel plans to check in on her if need be.

i imagine he started songwriting as side thing, something to post online for fun back in college while he was studying composition? and his youtube channel probably gained lots of steam. following one of his larger runs in the la theatre scene, he was probably approached about entering a professional contract for a song for one of the groups. and he was probably elated about the prospect. 

since then, he’s been contracted for all of the groups, with pieces ranging from pandemonium’s chaotic rock to dream tsunami’s sunny electro-pop vibe. lincoln plays a grand total of twelve instruments & he’s always generating new material.

in addition to songwriting for these groups, he’s also an up-and-coming solo artist himself!! he performs at open mics, local coffee shops, etc. while also uploading things to youtube/soundcloud and performing in la-based theatre productions!

lincoln is ebullient -- his presence practically effervesces wherever he is. he’s always ready to shine, as cliché as that might be. he’s just got this heart full of love and joy and optimism and he’s eager to share.

currently has bleach-blonde hair, because it’s super cool. 

so speaking of that popular youtube channel! there, he’ll post choreographed routines to his favorite songs, little covers, original pieces, and vlogs with the bands he works with. fans probably eat it up and constantly ask for more.

his dancing. gah.  this boy just loses himself in it. catch him at a bjéar concert all-out contemporary/interpretive dancing in the crowd. frick, music just.... consumes him.

his favorite color is green!! why?? does he need to have a reason???

he takes his coffee with whipped coconut cream on top, garnished with a dash of nutmeg & cinnamon. he always gets lil whipped cream mustaches, and he’ll apologize every time.

apologizes a shit ton. will apologize for apologizing, and then apologize for doing so. it’s a spiral. someone stop him.

he’s all easy smiles & spring breezes, the cleared air after rain. it’s very difficult to get him angry, and some people ( cough nikolai cough ) find that absolutely infuriating.

cannot hide when he falls in love.

falls in love once every 30 seconds.

absolutely goes to florist shops to check in on the owners, ask about their favorite memories, and smell the roses. maybe he accidentally nose boops the flowers sometimes. it’s okay. it’s all part of the experience.

allergic to shellfish & negative vibes !!!

speaks fluent french. bonjour, my dudes

blushes v easily !!  will duck his head and smile so wide. compliment him & watch the magic

lowkey voiced prince naveen in the princess and the frog ... ribbit

some examples of original work he’s performed in the area / uploaded online:    x    x    x    x     x       

lincoln is that friend who’ll show up for you, even at 4am, with takeout and a shoulder to lean on. going through a bad time? he’s the one you should call.

lowkey fashion icon ???  let him take you thrifting.

if you get sound bite previews, you’re one of The Trusted Few.

at berklee, he was lauded by his professors and fellow students -- there’s a reason this guy can write so diversely. he’s virtuosic. he’s not afraid to make major leaps. catch him tossing unconventional chords into conventional genres, because the music industry needs a spark and he feels honored to be able to contribute.

you know how some people give birthday letters or cards? lincoln writes original birthday songs. every year. yep.

volunteers at a local dog shelter.

i would love a roomie for him? pls?

i seriously want all the connections so pls hmu on discord or here!! ily all sorry this is such trash on a stick

#band:intro #-̗̀ my rose-colored boy ! isms. #WE OUT HERE #WE MADE IT #TRU JOY RIGHT HERE

[aion-rsa]

You Should Check Out the Paralympics

https://ift.tt/3BpOGn7

U.S. Paralympic swimmer Jamal Hill has big goals.

“I set out upon this journey to become the LeBron James of swimming – to just become the greatest that I can be, but also the most recognized swimmer in the world,” Hill tells Den of Geek.

Hill was just 10 years old when he first experienced total paralysis and was diagnosed with Charcot-Marie-Tooth (CMT) – a hereditary neurological condition that can result in loss of muscle tissue and touch sensation. Over the years, however, Hill not only gradually regained his mobility but became an elite swimmer. The Los Angeles-native is now ranked #1 in the US Paralympic 50m Freestyle and is currently in Tokyo representing his country in the 2020 Paralympics.

The Tokyo 2020 Paralympic Games began on Aug. 24, just over three weeks after the Olympics’ closing ceremonies and are set to run through Sept. 5. The Paralympic Games have a bit of a marketing problem in comparison to its older cousin, which is something that Hill wants to change. He notes that some countries like Australia combine the swimming trials for both the Olympics and Paralympics but in the U.S., the Olympics swimming trials took on the pomp and circumstance of a Hollywood premiere, while the Paralympic trials had more of a high school meet vibe. 

“Athletes like myself just taking that initiative to promote their own careers and promote their own brands serves the greater Paralympic movement,” he says. 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Jamal Hill (@swimuphill)

Just before Hill took off for Tokyo, he was nice enough to chat with Den of Geek about his journey, why the Paralympics should be appointment viewing, and his non-profit Swim Up Hill. 

Surprisingly, there was a lot of talk about Ray Kroc’s McDonald’s business model as well, which we’re presenting in its entirety because it’s pretty fun.

The following has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Den of Geek: What was last year like for you? Because it was difficult and weird for all of us, but I imagine it’s even weirder and more difficult for you as an athlete.

Jamal Hill: Yeah. Last year seems like a long time ago now. Obviously first and foremost, just prayers out to all the people who were negatively impacted by COVID-19. Hindsight is 2020, and I’m somebody that doesn’t look at things as really blessings or curses, really it’s just all a new challenge. So, we had some strong challenges, man. We lost our pool facility. I was challenged to continue training in backyard pools, which is pretty comical. I was challenged to up my mental and spiritual game. 

Because our home pool was gone, we had to figure out “okay, well how are we going to train?” So, man, I was already all over the county, but COVID-19 literally put me all over the county. I was swimming in pools in the Palisades, and Ladera, and Long Beach, and Burbank, and Altadena, and you name it, I’ve been to pretty much every major pool there is around the county. That was a stepping stone, dude, and now we’re onto the next step. I pulled strength from that experience, quite frankly.

I imagine when you’re training for the Paralympics, there’s not a lot of free time. But when you do have free time, what do you enjoy?

Dude, my time ain’t free. When I’m not swimming, I’m the executive director and founder of the Swim Up Hill Foundation, Inc. We have a mission to teach a million people every year how to swim in BIPOC and low-to-middle income communities. So I spend a lot of my time organizing my staff, running documents, organizing events, running budgets, and things like that, just being a businessman. 

Then outside of that, I’m an avid reader. I probably read anywhere from four to six books a month. And that’s from autobiographies, biographies, self-improvement, you name it. That’s pretty much my time right there. But yeah, I find a lot of fulfillment in just fulfilling my destiny. That’s what I call it. It’s not even work, it’s just like I’m working on my destiny here, and it brings me a lot, a lot, a lot of joy. So I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything.

I would say you’re definitely not. Even people who aren’t training for the 50 meter freestyle don’t usually read four to six books a month.

Well, again, that’s that kind of a business mindset of it. I set out upon this journey to become really the LeBron James of swimming – to just become the greatest that I can be, but also the most recognized swimmer in the world. I pull inspiration from the music industry and then some of my different industries of entertainment and artists, and you understand that the artform itself ultimately is probably about 30%, and 70% is business. The world’s greatest CEOs are reading, on average, 72 books a year. So, if that’s the company I want to be in, that’s the pace you’ve got to keep.

Do you think that there’s a path that can be taken to maybe promote the Paralympics a little more? From your perspective, what do you think is the best way to go about it?

I think one really powerful way is to combine the marketing and the events more. So for example, just in the swimming spectrum, there are certain countries like Australia where the swimming trials of the Olympics and Paralympics are held at the same venue on the same weekend. But Olympic swimming and Paralympics trials were held in completely different cities. One of them is a fricking Hollywood blow-out, and then one of them is rinky-dink high school meet, almost, the feeling of it. And that’s the one I was at.

Read more

Culture

Which Avengers Would Make the Best Olympic Athletes?

By Alec Bojalad

Games

Tokyo Olympics 2021: Every Video Game Song From the Opening Ceremony

By Matthew Byrd

Athletes like myself just taking that initiative to promote their own careers and promote their own brands serves the greater Paralympic movement. And then, again, also, outside of that, there are steps being taken, man. I think it’s just so new. It’s almost like when, do you remember when Lil’ Bow Wow changed his name just to Bow Wow?

Yep.

Yeah. And for a cool minute, everybody is like, “No, that’s Lil’ Bow Wow. I don’t care how old you get, Shad Moss, you’ll never just be Bow Wow.” But now after some time it’s like, okay, it’s just Bow Wow. Nobody cares. I think that’s ultimately where we’re at right now. It’s the Olympic and Paralympic Committee of the United States. The IOC and IPC haven’t joined yet. So I think those bodies joining and becoming this one acronym, is ultimately, again, over the years, going to start to help people.

This year is going to be the first year the Paralympics are showcased on NBC so we’re definitely continuing to make strides in the right way. I don’t even want to slap anybody’s wrist too hard, and say, “You got to be able to pick it up.” I think they’re doing some really good things. And obviously coming onto platforms like yours, now you’re a part of this education process. Now a lot of your community is going to be like, “Oh, shit, I thought it was just the Olympics. Paralympics? And they all get paid the same? They’re all elite athletes? They all are overcoming crazy challenges and struggles? And oh my God, this person has no arms or legs, and he swims faster than I do. How the heck is that possible?” That’s something I want to see. So it’s going to catch fire, man, don’t you worry, it’s going to catch.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

I believe you. What’s your favorite book you read recently?

Let me just pull up my Audible. I would say most recently my favorite book has probably been Grinding It Out by Ray Kroc and Robert Anderson, the McDonald’s story. That’s probably been my favorite book of late. Ray Kroc didn’t even make his nut till he was in his 40s or 50s. And at first it didn’t even look like it was going to happen, but he stayed dedicated. He had the experience and wisdom to know a gem when he found it and he stuck with it. Then just to see the licensing, the franchise model of McDonald’s with my foundation, that’s ultimately a template that I use when talking to my staff. 

We’re the McDonald’s of swim education. Our goal is to get people from “can’t swim” to “can swim” as quickly, as effectively, and as simply as possible. Ultimately the system is designed to be so simple that I can put you right here on the fries, or put your right here on the grill, and it’s like step one, two, three, done, and it’s always the same outcome, always quality control. That’s why Ray Kroc is my man. Big fan, dude. And obviously McDonald’s has as a brand, I know we’re in the health age, and it’s not the healthiest food, so I’m not supporting it in that way necessarily, but also at the same pace, it’s a lot healthier than a lot of stuff out there, the quality of their meats and things like that.

Have you ever seen the movie Super Size Me?

Guaranteed, man. Hell yeah, I saw Super Size Me.

I read recently that no one’s been able to replicate those results. That’s not really a strong  scientific process he goes through in that movie.

With respect, I hope no one was ever calling it a strong scientific process. No case study has ever been performed on one person. 

The Paralympics can be live-streamed on NBCOlympics.com with select events appearing on NBC-branded networks and the Peacock streaming service.

The post You Should Check Out the Paralympics appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/38mfJmM

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

[honey-and-strawberry]

No no, I don’t mind at all! Apparently (this is what my mother told me) my teachers caught on pretty early that I had som difficulties but since I read A LOT of books no one really tested me. I got glossary with me home from school every week to practice but I don’t have any memory of this. It wasn’t until I was going to take my drivers license it was noted (I had studied 2 years at university at that point without any problem) but this theoretical test for the drivers license, I never passed it! I tried 5 times and by the fifth time I was completely crushed and devastated, how stupid must I be for not managing that test!? Well, turned out I wasn’t stupid, I just changes places of some words and read a bit slower. After that I got some adjustments for doing the test and got only 4 wrong answers of 70 questions ^^. Wow...that was a long explanation!

Well of course they want to hang out with the cute American, you’re fricking adorable AND lovely personality ❤️! Let’s just stick with you’re a good listener 😁!

Tolerance to heat still sounds like magic and witchcraft. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it.

Actually, in the beginning I thought Shownu and Jooheon had plastic surgery, because of their lips, it looked to perfect to be done by nature and DNA but as time went by I figured that wasn’t the case - even if it were, I wouldn’t care, they can do whatever they want to their own bodies. I have a hard time with fans who bluntly tell their idols when they don’t like something with their idol, hair, tattoo or what not. Regarding Wonho, that amount of muscle isn’t attractive to me HOWEVER no one can deny the amount of work and dedication he put in his body and shaping in the wet he wants to! And besides that, the music he does and produces is just pure bliss ^^. I also love the fact that he is questioning beauty standards in Korea. An idol will never ever be able to satisfy all its fans at the same time but still fans are so pushy!!

Hmm, it was the Song itself, or more than so the beat. I’ve never been anyone to listen to lyrics that deep but the music and the beat has to have something. And monsta x sure has a lot of those songs, as I later found out ^^. Aww, that your boyfriend was a bit worried that he would make you upset ^^. Although some fans are rotten to the core most monbebes seems to have a quite hearty and joking attitude with the members. I’ve den a lot of mems and the king of them all 😊!

Maybe this is something you’ve written about before but when did you start writing, and what was the reason for it, if you don’t mind me asking?/stumbling anon

I’m gonna answer bellow to save space❤️

That’s amazing you got an answer and can accommodate for it! When I was little I had a problem with reading and speaking so I was in speech therapy from kindergarten till about middle school (tested out of it in 7-8th grade). I thought my problem was I was so young when I started school (I was in the cusp for the age group to start school so I was always the youngest in my grade), but as I get older I think my problem could be associated with something else because I would think too fast so I would sometimes slur my words whether it’s speaking or reading. (Which explains why when I write, I sometimes skip words like “the” or “and”).

Aw shucks 🥺❤️ sadly when I was a teenager I would get hit on a lot when I visited Europe, but thankfully they backed off when I said my age. It’s not my fault I had good tits 😭

Tolerance to heat is witchcraft and I feel the same way about people who have a tolerance to cold. I’m glad to be a desert witch, but you can’t grow anything here.

I thought the same thing about Honey and nunu(Shownu)! But then seeing childhood photos, there’s no way it’s artificial. I wish shownu had his chubby cheeks again 😔 same with Changkyun. Omg I get so upset about the tattoo thing because “fans” pressured Wonho to remove his tattoos and it’s like bitch those are not for you, they’re for him. Imagine his photos now if he kept the one on his thighs 🥴.

The song is so hype I totally understand why you love it! Coincidentally that mv was the one that had me scared of Jooheon 😱 he looked so tall and intimidating, I was so scared of him. I’m glad I have a sense of humor when it comes to me being a fan because yeah some people could be sensitive about jokes but I lived on the “we tease you because we love you but we would never cross the line”.

I don’t mind talking about me writing ☺️ I think I started writing stuff back in my early teens (mostly original stuff, I tried writing fanfic but couldn’t get it write). My best friend liked my stuff and would often read it, it was very sweet. My parents even liked my writing, I think my dad is my number fan, he would often ask me if I’m still writing and what I’m writing about (but I won’t actually tell him what I’m writing for obvious reasons. He knows it’s explicit content). After graduating high school I had a huge hiatus during university, it could be because of time but I don’t really know. Maybe I didn’t have a muse back then. I didn’t start writing again till I found kpop but I only wrote for myself. I didn’t know there was a whole community dedicated to content like this so after a few months of keeping stuff to myself, I started posting (on a different blog). It was so scary at first because I thought it would be cringe or bad, but people seemed to enjoy it. I gained some very lovely friends during that time and I’m eternally thankful for them and what I achieved. I made this new blog because my last writing blog was a side blog and it got annoying. I don’t regret moving to this one, it’s a lot cleaner. Do I miss having all of those followers (lol as if it was a lot, it was barely 300 before I made this one) and having access to immediate notifications on posts? Sure, but this one I don’t feel restricted. I don’t think my fics will ever compete to some of my past work, but it’s not about the note count, it’s about sharing the story and if people don’t want to read it 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ yes there is a big problem with lack of interactions that kill content creators, but I accepted I’m probably never going to get interaction except from the same 4-ish people (and there is nothing wrong with that, I love you and the others too❤️). Problems I’ve had trying to back “popularity” (as if I had that in the first place) is lack of readers using the tags to find content (they would use top tags instead of recents), of course lack of reblogging, and too much favoritism (there are some blogs who don’t deserve their following and it’s not because I’m salty). Sorry I rambled for a bit, it was just a lot on my mind. I really want to continue writing, but finding motivation and getting into the right headspace is hard as hell😔 (in reality I have a better time brainstorming and collaborating with friends than I do actual writing and they all call me a genius for the fluidity and ideas. Bless them❤️)

Something unrelated but what is the craziest dream you ever had that you remember??? If you ever had a reoccurring dream

#my stumbling anon❤️❤️❤️

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

#ACLA24 #ACLA24Leaders #youtube #youtube video #climate leaders #climate solutions #climate action #climate and environment #climate #climate change #climate and health #climate blog #climate justice #climate news #weather and climate #environmental news #environment #environmental awareness #environment and health #environmental #environmental issues #environmental justice #environment protection #environmental health #Youtube

[logans-chestnuts]

As You Are, Part 4

Pairing: Logan x Reader

Warnings: Language, Eventual Smut

Gorgeous artwork by: @giggleberts

Part 3

You had lunch together, which was not the pretentious, expensive restaurant you had expected but a small Greek restaurant that served authentic foods and heavenly desserts. Logan’s family was Greek and he was sharing his heritage with you.

Looking at the menu, you said, “I don’t think I’ve ever had any authentic Greek food. In fact, I think all I’ve ever had were mystery meat gyros. What do you like?”

“Everything, actually. This place cooks just like my Yaya – Grandmother — used to. There’s not a bad thing on the menu,” he said with a smile.

“Your Yaya? Your family is that recently come from Greece?”

“She was. My grandfather was born here and went to visit family and met her while he was there. They got married while he was there and he brought his Greek bride home with him. We Delos men know a good thing when we see it,” he said with a wink as he took a sip of his wine.

“That’s a sweet story,” you said with a smile and a blush. “Are they still with us?”

“No,” Logan said. “They died about ten years ago. Yaya had a heart attack and Papouli died a few months later. We also don’t last long when we lose a good thing,” he said with a sad smile.

“You sound like you were really close to them.”

“Yeah, my sister Juliet and I spent a lot of our summers there.”

You spent the rest of the lunch talking about your families and sharing bites of your food. Logan was very conscious of your time and returned you to your office with a few minutes to spare. Then he insisted he walk you to your desk, kissed you on the cheek and said he’d call you later.

The man was trouble.

L: Hi

Y: Hey! Didn’t you just leave me like an hour ago?

L: Can’t help it. Trust me, I’m even making myself sick, here. ;)

Y: I kinda like it. <3

L: Was that a heart? Did you just give me your heart??

Y: Pretty sure that happened yesterday, babe.

L: Wait, what?

Y: Hmm?

L: You can explain over dinner.

Y: No, I am so tired, Logan. I just want to lay on my sofa and watch trashy TV.

L: How about you lay on me and watch trashy TV? I’ll bring dinner. How does Chinese sound?

Y: Almost as yummy as you. ;) And bring extra dumplings!

L: I’m sleeping there.

Y: Logan…

L: I said *sleep*

L: I’m not pushing you for sex, but I want to stay.

Y: Does it seem weird that we’ve only known each other a day? I mean…I’m…attached?

L: Yeah

L: But weird in a good way.

Y: Yeah

L: OK this is scary as fuck, but I see a future when I look at you, Y/N.

You took a deep breath, bit your lip and tapped back, Me, too.

You didn’t know, but Logan let out a deep sigh of relief across town.

L: Gonna swing by my place and grab some things and then I’ll be over with dinner. Around 6? Unless you want to come to my place. Do you want to come to my place?

Y: LOL how about we sleep at your place tomorrow? ;)

L: OK tomorrow will be fine, I’ll send my housekeeper to shop.

Y: That was a joke…are you seriously sleeping over?

L: Yup

Y: Well, OK then.

Y: But I can’t be held responsible for any disgusting sounds I may make or drooling I may do on you in my sleep.

L: Same

Y: I bet you’re a farter.

L: I bet you snore.

Y: I do. Lucky you.

L: Yup :)

Logan appeared a few minutes before 6. You had changed into yoga pants and a t-shirt and he was wearing jeans and a t-shirt and damn he looked good. He dropped his overnight bag by the door and put the bags of food on the table, then you hugged him and he went straight for a kiss like he was starving for you. “This is ridiculous,” he said. “I feel like I haven’t seen you for months.”

“Same,” you said between kisses.

“Ugh I’m gonna stop kissing you now,” he groaned, still kissing you.

“That’s what we should do,” you agreed, your hands in his hair.

“Food. Let’s eat food. Not you. Food. I’d rather eat you,” he moaned as you kissed his neck.

“OK we should stop now. Neutral corners,” you said, panting and taking a step away from Logan.

“You look really pretty,” he said, also catching his breath.

“So do you,” you answered with a smile.

“I’m a guy, I’m not pretty.”

“Well then what are you?”

“I dunno, ruggedly handsome? Godlike? Sculpted as if by Michaelangelo?”

“The Ninja Turtle?” you said with a blank look on your face.

“Are…are you serious?” He looked a little worried.

You started laughing and Logan got a grumpy look on his face. “Not fair when there’s insufficient blood flow to my brain.”

You sauntered back over to him and ran your finger down his chest. “Now how is that my fault?”

Logan’s eyes were blazing. “Baby girl, you are gonna wind up thrown over my shoulder and tossed on your bed in about five seconds. Then some part of me will be inside you in about thirty.”

You took a very shaky breath at the visual his words conjured. “We should eat food.”

Logan took a very shaky breath watching your breasts move under your shirt. “Then let’s eat food.”

“Food. Yeah,” you said, staring at his mouth.

Logan licked his lower lip and watched you bite yours in response. “Are you trying to fucking kill me?”

You opened your mouth to make a smartass remark and really looked at Logan, seeing that he was truly holding on to his control by a thread. So instead, you smiled and said softly, “I’m sorry, Logan. I know you’re trying not to push, and I appreciate that. So let’s have dinner. I’ll go get plates and stuff.”

Logan watched your ass as you walked away, but was able to cool down enough to eat dinner and hold a conversation by the time you got back. You read your fortune cookies and laughed, then picked an inappropriate comedy to watch together. As promised, you laid on Logan’s chest and listened to his breath, heartbeat and laughter and thought to yourself, This man is trouble.

Bedtime was awkward. You weren’t sure what to wear to bed – certainly not the beat-up oversize T-shirt and undies like usual. But not anything cute coz no sex…

Logan didn’t seem to have any modesty. He brushed his teeth, stripped down to his boxer briefs and sat up against the pillows watching you try to decide what to wear and not look at him because damn he has just the right amount of hair and yup you were remembering the size of his package correctly and his chest was nicely muscled and whose idea was it not to have sex anyway?

“Baby, come to bed.”

Did he have to sound like a sin? Did he have to look like…that? Did you have to hear him say, ‘come’ and imagine him saying it into your ear while he…OK you were blushing and he was smiling like he knew exactly what you were thinking.

You pointed at him and said, “You little shit,” grabbed shorts and a t-shirt to wear to bed, went to the bathroom to brush your teeth and change.

“What’d I do?” Logan called after you, but you could hear the laughter in his voice.

You came back to your bedroom to find Logan lying down with his eyes closed, sheet draped across his bare stomach. His eyes opened when you walked in and he patted the bed next to him with a smile. Your bed had never looked so small before. He was lanky but he still took up a lot of room with his broad shoulders and long legs.

You sat down on the bed next to him, then gathered your courage and laid down at his side but with a few inches separating you, stiff as a board and at the very edge of the mattress.

“Whatcha doin’, baby girl?”

“Going to sleep. Night, Logan!” you said cheerfully.

“You want me to leave?” he asked softly.

“No!” you responded instantly. Then you turned on your side and rolled against his chest, his heart beating steadily in your ear as his arms gathered you close. “No, I want you here. I do.”

You felt his fingers under your chin, lifting your face to meet his. He gave you a gentle kiss, more of a brush across your lips, and said, “Sweet dreams.”

You reached up and caressed his cheek and said, “How could I have anything but sweet dreams with you here? But right now the reality is pretty fricking awesome.”

Logan groaned and kissed you again, harder and with more passion but not out of control like earlier. He wanted you, fuck yes, but he wanted you on your terms and he wasn’t going to push things. Besides, rock-hard cock aside, you had known each other a little over a day. That was fast by any standards. It wasn’t unreasonable to wait. What was unreasonable was sleeping in the same bed without making love to you. Yet, aching balls or no, he wouldn’t be anywhere else.

And frankly that terrified him. Logan hadn’t felt like this about a woman…ever. He couldn’t explain his instant attraction to you, nor his almost obsessive need to be near you. You weren’t wrong when you had panicked earlier; normally a woman like you would be a hit and run for him. He had never taken a girl to his favorite restaurant, only Juliet or some cousins.

But everything about you was unorthodox. You would probably hate escorting him to parties and shit that he has to attend. You would resist him buying you gifts and spending money on you. He already knew you loved your job and would continue to do it even when your relationship moved on to the next level.

Wait, did he just think ‘when’ like it was a forgone conclusion? Logan had no idea what was going on with him, but as he snuggled your now-sleeping form closer to his chest, he knew that his decisions were not being made by either of the usual suspects – brain or dick – but by the heart you were resting upon.

Scary as fuck.

Part 5

@drinix @giggleberts

#logan westworld #logan westworld x reader

[karlasblog31]

Wednesday 30th September

I hope everything went well with the birth of your new bubba. I sent you a thought during the Covid insanity hoping you were able to have everything go smoothly and not have to be alone.

So 2020 sucks and can f*ck right off. I think we all know that. Ha!

Yes, I'm still working in CAM 🤦‍♀️. We didn't have any Covid cases in our ward thankfully - luckily we're a locked ward. We've been at pretty much full capacity the whole time though because

A) other wards shut down

B) families put off finding facilities because they knew they wouldn't be able to visit them whereas most of the time our patients could have 1 visitor (with the 2nd spike that has changed)

I emailed mental health and they only have casual positions and I'd rather do private mental health because it would really just be the same shit show I do now - trying and being abused by people who don't want my help. And Palliative Care said to message next year and see if they have positions. I have become more assertive at work, being able to tell patients to speak to me with respect/not swear at me/not to physically harm me (if they're not too cognitively impaired and KNOW what they're doing/saying). There's so many moments I wonder "if I wasn't a nurse what the hell would I do because I'm not good at things" but as Jane reminded me not all nursing is like this.

The CN (Jake) called me in on my last day before holidays and said he had gotten 2 comments about me "not coping". I, not helping my case, burst in to tears. I was coping, only just, but I realised I couldn't even fake it hard enough to please and thats what upset me. Despite the tears, I told him I was fine.

Yet only a few days before Jake had called me in to tell me there was a position for the Workplace Health and Safety Representative and they wanted me to take it. There was a vote but he told me all the management were voting for me. I got the call to say I got the position but completely freaked out that I wasn't capable and gave it away. Of course.

But I was confused how I suddenly went from being voted for a new position to "not coping" 🤷‍♀️

After that, I had (scheduled rec leave) 3 weeks off which was a saviour. I realised how bad shape I was in. I had a blood test and I was deficient in pretty much everything that gives energy. I stayed in the clinic for a week and a half - probably needed a little bit more but I wanted some of my holiday at home. So afterwards I went back to work for 2 days and fell over (not at work unfortunately) and ended up having to take another week off in a moonboot. So 4 weeks off was great. I was more patient and resilient when I came back. (But it looked ridiculous because Anabelle and I were in a moon boot and Lyse was in a cast - all separate incidences at basically the same time).

Our CNC/NUM (Wendy) told me I was finally being put up to .9 because the person I was "taking over for" finally got pension and it would take 5 weeks for the paperwork to come through. She also retired the day before I went on holidays. When I came back there was no paperwork. She popped in randomly and I asked her and she said she forgot to do the paperwork and Jake was now on it. I went and saw Jake and it is no longer happening and I MIGHT go up when someone retires later this year. Basically he's given the hours to his friend he employed. They're just screwing me around and at certain points its like "what's the point?"

Lyse and I have had our moments. I think the last big fight was about the money and her finding out I had a savings account that I wasn't giving her money out of. But I think that was before you left. She has a go at me or says things and I just let it go. I've written things that I want to say to her but never sent it.

I started contact with Mum again on Mothers Day. I found some photos and one fell out of her holding me and it said "my beautiful baby girl" on it and it changed my perspective sort of? I caught up with her and Kaitlin (I wanted it just Mum and I but for some reason Kaitlin was insistent) a couple of weeks ago. It was actually good, and our conversations have been good. Her anxiety is +++++++. She couldn't even order her own lunch and almost can't drive at all anymore.

Its coming up to 1 year on the 30th September since Dad did what he did last year (I still always put it that way when I talk about it...). And I'm finding it much harder than I thought I would; he survived, so why am I still finding it so fricking hard? He seems like a new man since moving to this new company. He's out doing things and whenever he facetimes us (he's working away) he seems so happy. I still wonder though.

Jane and I have been keen for your return. I think Jane has asked me when every appt I've had 🤣. But I said to her what am I actually meant to be working on???? I know I'm not right but I dont know where to start and how do I actually change THIS after 28 years of it. She said how the sensory group made a big difference with the dissociation stuff so that kind of thing. And self esteem etc etc.

In general I've been just very flat and vague these past few months. It seems like this is just my baseline now... forgetting time and questioning whether things happened.

Anyway... I hope you and your lil' family are happy and healthy. I have no idea what the rules will be re appointments or the world in general by the time you come back. But please look after yourself! I think its this month you're coming back so thought I would post an update. Sorry it's so long 🤦‍♀️

[littlesugabubbletea]

Dreams or Nightmares  Series (Prologue)

Author : LittleSugaBubbleTea 

Pairing: BTS X Reader (Soulmate!Au)

Rating: 18+

Genre: Romance, Angst, Fluff

Warning: Contain Explicit Language, Explicit sex

Summary:

The dreams start to appear randomly. The dreams of being in your soulmate’s shoes.  Each dream is an encounter of a random day your soulmate has experienced. You feel and go through their day as you live through your soulmate’s eyes never in chronological order.Each dream differs in time as you witness experiences during their young days to their current lives. 

However, these dreams never reveal your soulmate’s name in any shape or form. There is always the sound of silence as your soulmate and other people speak their own name.  When its written, it’s completely gibberish to your own understanding. In most cases of soulmates, it may be easy to recognize their soulmate’s surroundings and are aware where they can meet their soulmate. 

Some rare cases they are in from different parts of the world where language and location is a barrier.Of course, these were myths and legends way back in time when soulmates were a fantasy. There are so many different varieties of how soulmates work as it is a dream to find “the one”. Yet midway in the year of 2017- an outburst phenomenon of people  all over the world seem to have experienced it. Living in the reality of their soulmate.

Parts: Information, Prologue: You are here! 

The dreams suddenly started in the year 2017.

               There were no explanations why they began to occur; no scientific proof, and no evidence. People across the world started to question themselves- thinking they have become crazy as they sleep each night. Each dream so real but strange. As each day passes, each sleep session comes a new day of being someone else. Each day, the tension of what’s going on will soon break.

What is wrong with me?

Why are my dreams suddenly like this?

What is going on?

Am I going crazy?

These questions always popping in people’s heads. It is a struggle feeling this way. Not understanding what is going on in your mind does that to people. So, those who first experience it-do not dare to speak due to a fear of judgement. The fear of being labeled insane. They live believing it is better not to speak and cope with the unknown.

               Slowly as time progress, more and more individuals start to piece things together. More and more experiencing these strange dreams. They began to analyse their own dreams, pay attention to detail and search for answers. It is then a small group of people expanded through time as they recorded their dreams as much they can remember. Each person openly expressing themselves what they have noticed and how they feel about their dreams. One common fact mentioned was it was too real; its as if they were living some else’s life, despite, having their own. 

Within months, after it all began, answers were suddenly reveal worldwide.

June 25, 2017 

We have finally discovered what is going on. The mysterious outbreak of these dreams. For now, we will call them “Soul Dreams”. A soul dream is defined as “a series of thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person’s mind during sleep- as they live a day as their soulmate”.  Basically, we are dreaming as being our soulmate for the day. A first-person point of view of a day your soulmate have lived whether when they were young and their current shelf. Each dream differs from one another. There are times it seems to be jumping in different time lines. Each time we sleep, they are unpredictable-always random. A reminder and warning is that your soulmate may have experienced something wonderful or horrible- it will influence and effect you. I seriously have no idea if this is whether a good thing or a bad thing myself.

Plus what’s really interesting, is the fact, we never will be able to hear our soulmate speak, write or see their name-which is interesting. This means their full name, you will never get to find out what it is until you meet them. 

 Apparently, there is a reason for this. A name is what seals the deal. Once you meet your soulmate, you will know their name immediately. According to surveys to those who met their soulmates, their name just appears in your own mind at the first contact. The dreams will stop and you will finally get to know your soulmate’s name. 

However, we have no idea why these soul dreams even began but we do know it must be part of our biology- in our DNA. We are still researching at this very moment. Yet we do know for sure, It must have been hidden after all these years and just resurface. 

You watched the news in awe. Each detail and every word was sparking your interest. Your curiosity was growing and your thoughts racing with questions. Was your soulmate dreaming right now? What do they see in their dreams? What do they think of me?

You were near a television screen separated by clear glass outside of an electronic store. You stood in the cold winter snow with your cheeks all covered up. The scarf around your neck preventing the cold breeze hitting your face. Slowing pulling the scarf off, you looked at your reflection in the glass-you see a South-East Asian male. Your dark skin was slightly patchy,  your eyes brows evenly shaped, your dark hazel brown eyes were all qualities you hated about yourself. Yet, you pulled a smile at your reflection thinking maybe your soulmate will see this experience.  

So far we know, that these dreams stop once you find your soulmate!  I feel like this is kindly a good thing for those who are single ya know? Knowing them they are glad they have someone out there for them! Sadly, What happens to those with families? Imagine what it's like to find out you married someone who is not your soulmate? My gosh, that is horrible! 

You frowned as your attention returned back at the screen. Ever since these dreams started its either a good or bad thing for many people. Your eyes now looked at the individual opinions that people volunteered to share about soul dreams. 

I think it’s sweet and stuff! You have someone who completely understands you- inside and out! Whats not to like? Like, I no longer need to worry about being single but I just have to find them! With clues, ya know, in my daily life! I will write as much as I can,maybe they will get the information and find me! 

I can’t really say I am thrill about this soulmate deal. I freaking had a dream where my soulmate was partying and everything. He drinks like a drunken sailor and most of my dreams I experience a hang over! 

My soulmate has a fiance…what can I do? It’s even worse when I dream fuck them. I know its not technically me but my gosh. Its mentally scarring. Having a soulmate sucks. I will only meet them, just so these dreams will stop! I can tell my soulmate loves her fiance, her thoughts linger in my mind. I want to choose my fate, ya know? Plus it doesn’t help those very intimate dreams…makes me feel ugh.

Fucking hate soulmates. Do you know I was in a happy 5 year relationship until this bullshit started? Like why? Are we being punished?

I am just confused to be honest. I never really believed in soulmates. Now this happening, it makes me feel more confused. 

My soulmate is amazing but you know the sad thing is? I have no idea what they are saying. Must be french. It’s so weird to be able to understand them in the dream and wake up with a blank head. Its like you have the ability to speak but then u wake up you are back to your normal self. Its like forgetting a whole damn language every single time! 

I basically met my soulmate! They are absolutely incredible! They  are perfect to the T! No more dreams, its true! I get to see them everyday though! We basically talk a lot about what soul dreams we experienced. 

Can I just say this, I definitely know my soulmate is not even close to me okay? Fricking in like Australia or something. I am from Canada. Do you think I can afford to buy a plane ticket? 

I like it just…how the hell are you suppose to find them? Like, I don’t know.

I no longer want to sleep, do you understand? I want to be dreaming of milk and cookies; not masturbating in a fucking bathroom. That just weirded me out, soulmate.  Maybe if you see this interview in your dreams, you better fucking understand how I feel motherfucker!

Maybe if I can be a bit more smarter, I will understand the math equations my soulmate does when I wake up. Its so weird, like I am him when I sleep and when I wake its just WOW. He makes me feel stupid. 

Still can’t believe we can’t hear their name. Like what is this some Sherlock homes novel? It's weird. It’s like watching a movie but every-time they call your soulmate’s name-its all silent but u still react to it u know…? 

You listen intently and see different faces of individuals appear as they speak truthfully of how they feel. Yet, in your mind you feel content with your own experience. You feel your soulmate is cool. He seems amazing as you recall the first time you saw him. You slightly blushed of the thought and change your attention to the outside around you.

You were located in a small town, that was covered in snow. You looked a the beautiful bridge over the icy river. Taking small steps, you hope your soulmate was going to see this day when they sleep and decided to speak to yourself.

“My name is ______ ________ but I doubt you will hear it. Its kinda funny, I am speaking to myself but I know you will see this one day. Hopefully, soon!  The dreams I have of you consist of you  chasing some bad guys. You’re a police man right? You seem cool! I really want to meet you one day. Well, I am Filipino and I live in Canada! I still have no idea where you are though. I am not that smart but I know you definitely are,I hope we meet soon!”

You smiled contently at your words, watching your cold breath and decided to take seat at the bench near the bridge. 

“You have no idea how thrill I was when I knew someone like you exists, it’s has been hard for me. I just hope one day we will meet!” You weakly chuckled and continued to share your thoughts.

Exactly 2 months after June 25, a Persian man located in Washington, DC had a soul dream.

After his long day of work, he crashed on his sofa and quickly fell asleep. He dreamed of watching newscasters release vial-information about soul dreams. He watch a couple of strangers sharing  their thoughts on television. He remember talking so much to himself until he decided to get a coffee.  Once this man woke up from his soul dream , he had tears in his eyes. He remembered two details very clearly. It made him happy. 

His soulmate was in Canada and he was waiting for him.

Author’s Note: Basically, this is an introduction and an example of a pair of  soulmates in my dreams or nightmare series!  

#bts #bts fanfic #bangtan boys #bangtan sonyeondan #bts x reader #suga x reader #jimin x reader #taehyung x reader #jungkook x reader #namjoon x reader #jin x reader #j-hope x reader #min yoongi #park jimin #kim taehyung #jungkook jeon #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #jhope #v #jung hoseok #rap monster #rap monster x reader #yoongi x reader #yoongi #soulmate au #bts soulmate au #kpop #kpop fanfiction #beyond the scene

[crispyflowerblaze]

school tips, because maybe i can give better advice than administration, who just loves to tell us to get involved 3000000000000 times a day

Find to have some fun each day. Okay, yeah, this is pretty hard. And sometimes impossible, but I think it’s pretty important to try, at least a few times a week or whenever the heck you want, to do something fun by yourself either outside or in your room. Something I’m gonna try to do every day is play a few songs from a musical (probably Book of Mormon) and like just completely PERFORM it, like jump on my bed, dance all over, and sing loudly and stuff like that, IT’S SO FUN and i recommend it!!!!! I just really hope you’re able to do something fun

Okay, spoiler alert, this is actually basically taken from an actual school recommended tip. I’m gonna try to summarize my day after school, I have a google doc called “summarizing what i did each day, or using memes to help me remember stuff” and I just do what the title says, but I also... use memes... which just memes it’s not completely serious, and then I have a “general stuff” section, which explains itself I guess, and then, the best part, is “today’s big mood” and that’s taking one funny or relatable thing I remember that happened. And I think this is gonna be helpful because I can look back on previous days and review, also I can remember funny things and I love doing that!

Use memes in your notes/other shit. This is probably the most important tip. Making “actual serious notes” is SO. BORING. And this is speaking as an A student who most of the time only capitalizes things in personal writing (not stories; like non-story google docs and tumblr posts) for THIS KIND OF STUFF and uses a whole fricking ton of wrong spelling for stuff. I wanted this to be at least a tiny “professional” so I’m capitalizing my “I”s blah blah blah. But when people tell you using text speech will destroy how you write, DON’T. LISTEN. Okay, I’m getting off topic, but anyways, MAKE NOTES AND STUFF FUN. I do this with memes and by shortening EVERYTHING. Do references and funny stuff and if you don’t have free time for fun things, try to make you study/homework time fun!!! Please!!!!! I want you to have fun!!!!!! FUN. IS. FUN. (also, unrelated, but doing things like CAPITALIZING EVERYTHING is really an amazing freedom if you’ve worried about it being annoying. please do things on personal writing and tumblr posts that you have worried about people judging you for! the freedom is amazing!)

USE GOOGLE DOCS. Another really important one for people whose school uses a lot of technology. Google Docs is just amazing, and it’s super convenient!!!!! If you know your email and password (if you’re not sure PLEASE WRITE IT DOWN) then you can always reach it if,,,,, like,,,, you have access to a computer. So if for some reason you have a school laptop that doesn’t connect to your home wifi and you have access to a computer at home, then you can go on that google account and access them; also, it doesn’t take long to get a doc shared and then to go on the account you shared it with. Then from there, or whenever, you can transfer things onto a word or pages document if you need to. So Google Docs should be your go-to thing!!

(adding onto/related to the memes section) Experiment with ways to remember homework/study. Everybody does these things differently, so yeah start with a generic one and make it your own! In 7th grade and most of 8th, I used a “homework chart” which is pretty self explanatory and I filled stuff out for each class. This year I think I’m gonna stick my homework in my summarizing doc. If doing something in a funner (i’m strangely attached to the non-word-but-should-be “funner”) way than the bare minimum of study techniques, FIND OUT WHAT WORKS FOR YOU! Adding onto that, make your own additions to my rules or ignore them completely! Make your own! Whatever! And back to the weird ways to study, last year, for my history EOC, I made possibly the best thing I’ve ever created. It was called “8th grade history in a nutshell” and was sprung from my love of “hamilton in a nutshell” videos and similar ones to other musicals, and the “-musical- in a nutshell” things I’ve done myself. I basically just used memes to describe what I’d learned in history class, using a bunch of Hamilton references, and also, my favorite section, where Andrew Jackson basically just says “FUCK YEAH -something-” or “FUCK NO -something-” because, as I explained, Andrew Jackson was more of a hothead than Alexander Hamilton. So like... I can’t say it enough,,,.. but USE MEMES! That’s what makes learning fun.

Use your knowledge for the True Real-Life Applications. Have you been badgered with that horrible phrase, “real-life applications”? Has it sucked your will to math or science completely? Then reclaim that sucky phrase! My adventures in Reclaiming The Sucky Phrase “Real-Life Applications” include finding out how many miles, feet, and inches there are in a light year, memorizing the number of miles in a light year (um... shoot, i DID have it memorized!), finding out how to pronounce these horribly long numbers, and finding out how many light years the whole human race has probably walked! (2.2 light years. So light travels more in 3 years than the whole human race has walked!) And that was just one day with my friend in science class last year. I also figured out if you could fit the moon in the Pacific Ocean (you can dip it in the center of the Pacific Ocean and it won’t touch continents, but it will touch the bottom, and it’s a LOT taller than the ocean!) and when my dad said (exaggerating, obviously) he got a random pain about every 15 minutes while he was awake, and that he slept about 6 hours a night, I calculated how many times a day, a month, a year, a decade with no leap years (which does not exist XD), a minute, a non-leap-year February, in August, and in a 30 day month he would get a pain. It’s hilarious XD. My point is, you can have fun by figuring things out using the stuff you’ve used and it’s a much better review than homework. (uh, do your homework)

Sometimes musicals can teach you stuff, so like,,,,, listen to musicals,,,,,, that’s all. (Hamilton act 1 for reviewing and Cabinet Battles for history reviews!!!!!!! Trust me)

Speed walking is great! And every time teachers/staff tell you that 5 minutes is completely enough time to CROSS A HUGE CAMPUS THAT YOU BARELY EVEN KNOW WITH A HORRIBLE AMOUNT OF TRAFFIC, I feel you. I am here for you. It’s stupid and unfair. But please, rant to me or somebody who understands how it’s STUPID too instead of teachers/staff. I don’t think it’s a good idea. But yes, please, I understand what you’re going through. It’s dumb as heck.

Judging by all of the “high school will just seem like a bad dream!!” I can assume it’s true. Of course everyone has different high school experiences and problems, but if you want to talk to me and we can rant together, that’d be great!! Ranting is completely fine, so I just hope things will get better. :D

#school #school tips #school hacks #high school #high school tips #using memes to learn #trust me this works #and AHH i'm in HIGH SCHOOL AHH #it's gonna be okay :D

[ecoamerica]

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

#ACLA24 #ACLA24HighSchoolStudents #youtube #youtube video #climate leaders #climate solutions #climate action #climate and environment #climate #climate change #climate and health #climate blog #climate justice #climate news #weather and climate #environmental news #environment #environmental awareness #environment and health #environmental #environmental issues #environmental education #environmental justice #environmental protection #environmental health #high school students #high school #youth #youth of america #school