#it’s ridiculous! nobody needs that much money!

[maikaartwork]

Artists, let’s talk about Instagram commission scammers

There’s been a huge rise in commission scammers recently, mostly on Instagram. A lot of new artists don’t know what to look out for, so I figured this might help people.

How they begin

Usually the scammer will write to you asking about a commission. Something deceptively cute - mostly I encounter asks about pet portraits, with one or two photos sent. They’ll probably try to sell you a sweet little story, like “It’s for my son’s birthday”. They will insist that they love your artwork and style, even though they don’t follow you or never liked a single piece of your art.

What to look out for:

Their profiles will either be private, empty, or filled with very generic stuff, dating at most a few years back.

Their language will be very simple, rushed or downright bad. They might use weird emojis that nobody ever uses. They will probably send impatient “??” when you don’t answer immediately. They’re in a crunch - lots of people to scam, you know. 

They’ll give you absolutely no guidelines. No hints on style, contents aside from (usually) the pet and often a name written on the artwork, no theme. Anything you draw will be perfect. Full artistic freedom. In reality they don’t really care for this part.

They’ll offer you a ridiculous amount of money. Usually 100 or 300 USD (EDIT: I know it might not be a lot for some work. What I mean here - way higher than your asking price, 100 and 300 are standard rates they give). They’ll often put in a phrase like “I am willing to compensate you financially” and “I want the best you can draw”, peppered with vague praise. It will most likely sound way too good to be true. That’s because it is.

Where the scam actually happens

If you agree, they will ask you for a payment method. They’ll try to get to this part as soon as possible. 

Usually, they’ll insist on PayPal. And not just any PayPal. They’ll always insist on sending you a transfer immediately. None of that PayPal Invoice stuff (although some do have methods for that, too). They’ll really, REALLY want to get your PayPal email address and name for the transfer - that’s what they’re after. If you insist on any other method, they’ll just circle back to the transfer “for easiest method”. If you do provide them with the info, most likely you’ll soon get a scam email. It most likely be a message with a link that will ultimately lead to bleeding you dry. Never, and I mean NEVER click on any emails or links you get from them. It’s like with any other scam emails you can ever get.

A few things can happen here:

They overpay you and ask for the difference to be wired back. Usually it will go to a different account and you’ll never see that money again. 

They’ll overpay you “for shipping costs” and ask you to forward the difference to their shipping company. Just like before, you’ll never see that money again.

The actual owner of the account (yes, they most likely use stolen accounts to wire from) will realize there’s been something sketchy going on and request a refund via official channels. Your account will be charged with fees and/or you get in trouble for fraudulent transactions. 

You will transfer the money from your PayPal credit to your bank account and they will make a shitstorm when they want their money back, making your life a living hell. They will call you a scammer, a thief, make wild claims, wearing you down and forcing you into wiring money “back” - aka to their final destination account. 

Never, EVER wire money to anyone. This is not how it’s supposed to go. Use PayPal Invoice for secure exchanges where the client needs to provide you with their email, not the other way around.

You can find more info on that method HERE.

What to do when you encounter a scammer:

Ask the right questions: inquire about the style, which artwork of yours they like, as much details as you can. They won’t supply you with any good answers.

Don’t let the rush of the exchange, their praise and the promise of insanely good money to get to you. That’s how they operate, that’s how they make you lose vigilance. 

Don’t engage them. As soon as you realize it might be a scam, block them. The sense of urgency they create with their rushed exchange, and pressure they put on you will sooner or later get to you and you might do something that you’ll regret later.

Never wire money to anyone. Never give out your personal data. Never provide your email, name, address or credit card info. 

Don’t be deceived by receiving a payment, if you somehow agree to go along with it. Just because it’s there now doesn’t mean it can’t be withdrawn. 

Here is a very standard example of such an exchange. I realized it’s a scam pretty fast and went along with it, because I wanted good screenshots for you guys, so I tried going very “by the book” with it. 

Please share this post, make it reach as many artists as possible. Let young or inexperienced artists know that this is going on. So many people have no idea that this is a thing. Let’s help each other out. If you think I missed any relevant info, do add it as an rb!

Also, if you know other scam methods that you think should be shared, consider rb-ing this post with them below. Having a master post of scam protection would AWESOME to have in the art community.

#art resources #artist help #artist advice #commission advice #scammers #instagram scam #please share with your fellow artists

[drchucktingle]

reverse call out post

i have noticed that SOMETIMES it really bothers folks to discover i am sincere and not playing a character. that tinglers are deep artistic expression. i think it  because these few buckaroos are often kind and even politically left but had problematic ways just a few years back

these buckaroos are forced to confront their previous assumptions about neurodivergence and queerness, which is bound to happen as time trots on and cultural landscape evolves. but this sudden realization they have about themselves apparently MUST be ignored and pushed away

theres BIG TIME buckaroos on this very platform who publicly made fun of and gatekept my autism. these posts are STILL THERE. folks questioning my bisexuality. and these are buds who at one time worked with chuck and were pretending to ‘like me’ in way that i now see was irony

these are a previous generation of liberal ‘comedy forum’ buds who laugh and laugh at ‘ridiculous bad erotica’ and wrote as a money scheme. those who would later say with concern ‘chuck tingle is homophobic for making fun of queer erotica’. the same THEY might gleefully write

and i think their reaction is a way to deal with truth that THEY were doing these things ironically and have ABSOLUTELY NO CONCEPT that someone else couldve been creating joyful queer neurodivergent art during the same timeline with sincerity instead of irony.

so now as chuck gets taken more seriously they have to confront something. question of ‘wait, was i laughing at a real person the whole time? was i calling someone homophobic when in reality it is much more homophobic to MAKE that accusation, because queerness is not a monolith?’

old posts calling out chuck as fake, dehumanizing me, gatekeeping my place on spectrum of autism AND sexuality are still up. they wont be addressed because these folks cannot ever acknowledge they treated someones very existence as a joke. they will not admit THEY needed to grow

and honestly buckaroos, I FORGIVE THEM. nobody is dang perfect and the internet is swirling with irony poisoning. those folks on old forums were BATHING IN IT DAILY. it does not bother me because it is the past, but pondering on it during moments like this i am compelled to write

i do not bring this up to punish for past, but to hope buckaroos remember lesson in the future: you do not need to gatekeep. you do not need to make yourself the arbiter of others lifestyle and identity. you do not need to score online points as a way of proving your goodness.

proving love is complicated sometimes, and a big part or that complicated journey is accepting there are some unique buckaroos out there, buds who actually ENJOY making neurodivergent art and expressing their queerness in unique ways. who need time to learn THEMSELVES through art

it is my belief and suggestion that buds allow others this space. to accept them as they come. to TROT WITH THEM INTO THE FUTURE. thats a heck of a way to prove love is real. i think we can make this trot of sincerity together and DANG am i looking forward to it. LOVE IS REAL

#love is real #chuck tingle #buckaroo lifestyle #tingleverse

[prettyflyforawhitelie]

Hazbin Hotel x Sick!Reader

A/N: Hey guys! I wanted to do some more x reader headcanons just because they’re so fun! I love the idea of the characters caring for you when you’re sick, it’s just so cute. I hope you enjoy it!

Pairing: Hazbin Hotel x Reader

Warnings: None (if you don't count tooth-rotting fluff) 

Characters: Alastor, Charlie, Vaggie, Angel Dust, Husk, Sir Pentious, Lucifer

🦌📻Alastor📻🦌:

Essentially hides you away in his room: wants more than anything to take care of you, but refuses to expose this “softer” side of him to anyone else. If anybody knew that you were the Radio Demon’s only weakness, not only would that put him in danger, but you as well.

Will prepare any food that your heart desires - his mother brought him up to be an excellent cook! His recommended feel-good food is his mother’s jambalaya, but you absolutely love when he makes etouffee!

If anybody dares to try and disturb your well-needed sleep, he broadcast their screams to remind them just why the hotel has a radio tower… 

Will suggest that you take advantage of the bayou-side of his room for the fresh air, but of course will not force you to do anything against your complete comfort.

The best thing that he knows to do is what his mother did to him whenever he was sick: Sit in bed with him and tell him Creole folk tales. They always enamored him, and just the fact that he was allowing you to see this personal side of him made you feel better. 

At the end of the day, Alastor would take advantage of the beautiful setting that the dark bayou side of his room provided and conjure up a lovely scene of fireflies, all while softly playing his piano and singing his favorite songs to guide you to sleep (You are the only person he will let hear his singing). While Alastor may seem heartless from afar, you wouldn’t trade this demon for all of the money in the world.

🗝️😈Charlie😈🗝️:

Would definitely notice that you were sick before you did and insisted that you get plenty of bedrest. When you refused, insisting that you were ok, she would monitor you until you finally accepted that you were sick and let her take care of you. She would say, “I’m not saying I told you so, buuuuuut…”

Takes care of you to the point where some tasks of the hotel were neglected, but to be honest, it was a win-win for everyone in the hotel. She was happy that you were being taken care of, and everyone else was happy that they didn’t have to participate in trust exercises. 

She would crack open her book of the story of Hell - it always calms her down during an extermination, so hopefully it could calm you down as you try to sleep. 

If she absolutely had to leave the hotel to do/get something, she would most definitely buy a little keepsake and bring it back for you.

She would use her love for singing to lull you to sleep, singing sweet lullabies that her mother used to sing to her as a child.

You have to constantly remind her to take care of herself as well, as she will literally remain at your bedside, not caring to eat or sleep, until you get better. She often gets so caught up in caring for others that she forgets to care for herself! You tell her that it would genuinely make you feel better to see her taking care of herself as well.

🪽⚔️Vaggie⚔️🪽:

Gets more defensive over you than usual, which honestly scares everyone. Nobody wants to so much as speak to you wrong in fear of Vaggie literally attacking them. Having Vaggie around is the definition of scary dog privileges. 

She’s honestly extremely dramatic when it comes to you getting sick, which may seem ridiculous, but think about it: she was thrown away by her “family” in heaven, and now you’re the only person that she truly has. You confide in her, you allow her to let her guard down. If she lost you, she doesn’t know how she could even exist. So whether you have a cold or something more serious, she will automatically jump to the worst conclusions and get worried as Hell.

As tough as she seems, Vaggie loves to cuddle. She will literally lay in bed with you all day, not caring if she gets sick as well. You’re the only person that she can be vulnerable with, and if you have to be in bed all day, you better bet she’ll be right there next to you. 

Her love language is absolutely telling you about all the things that she would do to defend you. She will go into immense detail about the things that she would do for you, and you will always listen in awe. She has been through so much, and this is the only way that she knows how to express her true love for you. 

The last thing she wants is for somebody to feel abandoned in their struggle like she did when she fell from Heaven, especially you. She will make sure that you know how much you are valued and loved, not just by her, but by everyone at the hotel.

When you’re finally ready to get out of bed and start participating in hotel duties again, she monitors you the whole time to make sure that you’re not over-exerting yourself.

🕷️💖Angel Dust💖🕷️:

Is very upset and on edge - Valentino forces him to work everyday, no matter the circumstances, and not being at the hotel to care for you or at least watch over you makes him feel horrible. 

Basically forces you to sleep as much as you can, even better if it’s in his room so he can see that you’re okay immediately when he gets home.

Encourages you to cuddle with Fat Nuggets - he’s essentially a cute and cuddly heating pad. (He actually gives Fat Nuggets this adorable pep talk about how he needs to take good care of you while “dad” is at work)

He wholeheartedly believes in the power of comedy, so he essentially treats your bedrest as a stand-up comedy show for him to perform in order to make you laugh. He’ll tell stupid jokes, put together horrible dances, or even just hide in places and scare you in hopes that making you laugh will help you forget how bad you feel. 

Loves talking to you after work. You’re essentially the only person that he takes off his hypersexual mask around, and he knows that he can be himself around you, that you would never judge him. So, sometimes he will get home to find you already asleep and get in bed with you, holding you tight, whispering all of the things that he wanted to tell you about today, hoping that at least some of his words wiggle their way into your dreams. 

Loves sappy rom com movies and will 100% force you to watch them with him. He claims it’s because the “good vibes” of the romance will make you feel better, but to be honest, he just wants someone to watch his dumb movies with.

♦️🥃Husk🥃♥️:

Will blame himself for your sickness, claiming that he shouldn’t have let you drink so much over the past couple of days (He literally cannot comprehend the idea that people can be sick NOT from being hungover lol).

When you insist that it’s not his fault, he’ll ease up. He’ll use some of his bartending skills to make some sort of juice mocktail for you and will definitely sneak in some vitamin C to heal you faster.

Everyone - specifically Angel - will wonder why the fuck the bar hasn’t been stocked in days (It’s because Husk has been chilling in bed/taking care of you nonstop).

This is the only time that he will completely surrender to the idea of being one big stuffed animal to cuddle with. I mean, he’s warm, soft, and he purrs! What’s more therapeutic than that?

This is also a great time to get uninterrupted talking time with Husk. He’s a great listener, so you’ve always opened up to him, but it took him a while to open up to you too. He had told you that you were one of the only people that he trusted enough to confide in, but always seemed to air on the side of caution when sharing his personal struggles because it always seemed that someone would just pop up at the bar asking for a drink whenever it happened. This was one of the few times that the two of you could be completely open and vulnerable with each other without the risk of outside judgment. 

Given the fact that he was such a gambler, Husk has a knack for all sorts of card games. If you get too bored, just give him a deck of cards and the possibilities for entertainment are endless. Want him to teach you how to play poker or rummy? Done. Want him to embarrass himself while he tries to relearn some card tricks that he used to flaunt? Done and done.

🐍⚙️Sir Pentious⚙️🐍:

The second you told him you were sick, he would waste no time in finding one of his many inventions that could help you in some way. He definitely has some complex medical screening device hidden somewhere that he could use… he just has to remember where he put it. 

If you complain about being sore, he will insist that you snuggle up next to him. Because he’s a cold-blooded reptile, his body is one big ice pack! On the other end, if you feel yourself coming down with some feverish chills, he has you covered! His bedroom ceiling is essentially one huge heat lamp, so feel free to chill under there, too!

Has assigned himself as your personal nurse and will provide anything that your heart desires. If it for some reason cannot be found within the hotel, he will travel to any ring of Hell necessary to make sure that you are well taken care of. This man is DETERMINED.

You can tell that he’s taking this seriously because he actually neglects his “evil duties” for a couple of days. The airship isn’t even mentioned until you heal (unless, of course, you feel that taking a ride on the airship would make you feel better. Then, of course he will set it up for you!).

Despite literally voicing his complete and utter devotion to your every flight of fancy, this man is still as awkward as ever. He will still struggle to ask you if you want to cuddle, quite literally fluttering around the subject until you bring it up for him. 

At the end of the day, though, Sir Pentious is probably the sweetest sinner you could’ve ended up with as your caretaker. He may be awkward, but boy, does he love you!

👹����Lucifer👼👹:

While you are resting in bed, he will conjure up the most delightful images of anything you request (his favorite, though, is a group of ducklings waddling through a golden lake together 🫶)

Being the King of Hell, he has so many interesting stories to tell you if you’re willing to listen. He will gladly tell you stories as you lay in bed with him, slowly lulling you to sleep. (His daughter clearly got her love of storytelling from him).

He loves that you trust him enough to let him take care of you - he doesn’t often have people around, let alone people that he truly loves. Just your presence in his room truly fills him with so much joy.

He didn’t want to annoy you with his ramblings about his many rubber ducks so he was ecstatic when you asked him to give you a tour of all of them. This man was telling you each and every duck’s name, backstory, etc. and honestly, it was adorable. When he quickly glazed over one of the ducks anxiously, you asked why. He then shyly revealed that it was, in fact, a rubber duck that looked just like you. 

His love language is definitely gift-giving. This rubber duck would lead to him showing the many, MANY gifts he has created for you in his free time. He always has a ton of downtime, so making gifts for people is his favorite hobby. These gifts include, but aren’t limited to: various duck items, binded storybooks, music boxes, paintings, etc. This man is TALENTED, to say the least. He just hopes that looking at these will distract you enough from being sick. 

Also, his room is by far the comfiest to sleep in while you’re sick… the mood lighting that is naturally provided from his glowing light shows is simply unmatched.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #Charlie Morningstar x Reader #charlie x reader #vaggie x reader #lucifer x reader #sir pentious x reader #husk x reader #angel dust x reader #alastor x reader #helluva boss #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel oneshots #sick reader #charlie morningstar #vaggie #lucifer morningstar #sir pentious #hazbin husk #angel dust #alastor #radio demon #blitzo #stolas

[e-m-ma-lmfao]

PLS YOU NEED TO WRITE MORE FICS ABOUT ASTARION the one you did was so good and cute ☹️☹️ i love it

Let Me Clean Your Wounds

pairing : astarion x (fem) reader

summary : a long week of hard work leaves your party tired and injured. you offer to clean astarions and to your surprise, he accepts.

warnings : talk about blood.

a/n : thank you anon :0 i STILL have not played baldurs gate (so i apologize again for my lack of knowledge).

It had been an incredibly long week. 

It started by someone in the party pointing out that you had no more money left. So you had to spend your days doing odd jobs for people in the nearby town. 

However, a few of them had failed to mention the fact that their job requests could end up harming you in more ways than one. An easy job, like gathering fruit for an old lady who can’t venture out that far anymore, suddenly turned into fighting a hag in the woods for trespassing on her property. 

The compensation received was hardly enough for the injuries you and your party would gather on your bodies throughout the day. 

As powerful as your group was, being caught off guard by some giant creature in the woods left you at a disadvantage. And when calmly mentioned to the people of the village, suggesting that their pay be higher for sending you to do such strenuous tasks so they wouldn’t be attacked themselves, they threw their arms up to you. 

Calling you greedy and saying you were trying to steal their gold. Of course that didn’t sit well with the nearby guards, and while jumping to conclusions without any investigation, you were thrown in a cell. Not all your party, just you, as the leader. 

You weren’t released until a member of your party persuaded them, using the gold you had just earned from the townspeople’s ridiculous jobs. 

So you packed up your camp, and ventured out to find another village. One where you hadn’t been put behind bars for scheming and trying to steal gold from the elderly. 

When you found a nice spot, and a town that looked to have more than enough gold to go around, you set up camp in the nearby woods. The townspeople were less than friendly, but at least they were honest about their jobs. 

They made it abundantly clear that they would not be handing out charity and that you had to work for the gold you earned. That turned out to be a challenge after a few jobs had been completed , and it had clicked that your party has been consistently acquiring injuries over the last few days. 

Your party was down in power. You were lacking in energy, and it was showing in the way your attacks would fly but often miss or hit with not much force behind them. 

So after completing one last job, and buying some fresh meat from the town, you decided to rest. Finally caving into the exhaustion, you felt almost weak when Lae’zel complained about stopping. But nobody else seemed to have any complaints. 

Lae’zel was hasty to eat, along with almost everybody else in the party. They got a fire started and the warmth hugged your body, but while scanning over everyone’s face you realized just how rough your condition had become . 

Everyone seemed to be holding up all right, you weren’t too worried, but as you looked in closer you noticed Astarion was seated farther away from the fire picking at his skin. 

Curious, you left the warmth of the fire and wandered over to him. 

“Mind if I sit?” 

“No, well, not much. But I don’t think you’d listen if I said I did.” You shook your head at him before taking a seat beside him. 

His face was pretty bruised up, cuts on his cheek and lip. And his arms were covered with scratches that it was continuing to pick at. 

You took another glance before standing up and walking back over to your own tent to grab some bandages, your flask of water, and a rag of some sort to wipe his wounds. When you came back he stared at you with amusement in his eyes. 

“What exactly are you planning to do with all that, darling?” 

“You're covered in cuts, have to clean them up so they don’t scar your pretty face. Let me clean your wounds?” You tried not to let the pet name have any effect over you, but you were sure your thoughts were showing through your cheeks. His hand moved to touch his cheek, as if he didn’t believe that he truly did have any injuries, wincing as his finger brushed against a larger cut. 

“You’re seriously worried about me when you’re in the same condition? For the love of the gods , you were thrown in a cell this week and you're truly worried about some cuts on my cheeks?”

“May I?” You held the rag up in your hands, pouring some water over it. He nodded, hesitantly of course, but he allowed it anyway. 

Gently, you placed the dampened rag over his cuts, wiping away at the dried blood and layer of dirt covering his pale skin. His brows furrowed, the sight causing you to let out a giggle. Usually, Astarion was very closed off, so being this close to him and him allowing you to help him was sort of new to you. 

“Why are you laughing? I’m in pain and your ..giggling?” He tried to be stern and serious, his usual facade, but a small smile was playing at the corner of his lip.  

“I’m sorry,” You let out another giggle as you swiped away at his skin and his eyebrows furrowed once more, “It’s just cute, I’ve never seen your face scrunch up like that.”

He seemed to pause, his mouth slightly agape as he stared at you. You were being serious. You thought he was cute, when he was covered in blood and dirt. Him showing a little weakness , you thought it was cute? 

“What? I know my face is probably dirty.” You rubbed at your cheek with your free hand, conscious of your appearance as his gaze lingered on your face. He didn’t care though, he was too busy thinking about your words. 

“Cute is an absurd word to use when describing someone like me. I’m too handsome to be described in such ..simple terms.” His smirk returned to his face, your mouth now agape unsure of whether he was serious or not. 

“C’mon now Astarion, I never said you weren’t handsome. I just said you were cute with your face all scrunched up like that.” The rag sat in your lap, his face was clean, his cuts just needed a little cover up. 

“So you do think I’m handsome?” He leaned in closer , his voice captivating. 

“Well I never said that either.” You placed your hand on his chest to distance yourself , ripping off a piece of the bandaging in your hands and manipulating it into place on his cheek. 

He wore a subtle pout on his lips but when you moved in close and kissed his cheek, in a moment of boldness,  it soon fell away. 

Astarion’s hands brushed against your own, taking the damp rag and pouring more water onto the other unused end. 

“My turn, darling.” The rag, making contact with your skin, made goosebumps appear on your skin. It was colder than you expected, and you knew there had to be small cuts littering your face by the way it stung. Your face must have tensed because he took his turn to laugh at you. 

“You know, you are very beautiful, even with your face all scrunched up.” He was mocking you. obviously, but his voice mixed with his compliments made your cheeks flush. 

A final swipe along your cheek and he pulls the rag away, “There. All clean, my dear.” 

His hand reached out to cup your cheek, but before the act became too intimate, he changed his course and ran his hand along the side of your hair to flatten it down. 

“You really are quite pretty .” He knew his words had such a serious effect on you, as you never tried to hide the fact that your feelings for him were far from platonic interest. It was so weird seeing him be so friendly, and flirty in a way that wasn’t meant to manipulate.

“Would you stop? It’s not nice to tease y'know.” 

“And who told you I was teasing, my dear? Was it Lae’zel cause I’ve always thought she might have a thing for me.” He laughed at the end of his sentence, joking. “I would never tease a woman as pretty as you, that would be very cruel of me.” 

“Do you want to join me by the fire?” His gaze shifted to look at the group seated around the fire, he seemed to ponder before looking back at you with furrowed brows. 

“I can smell their horrible odor from here.” You huffed, pushing his shoulder. He looked once more, and seemed to ponder some more but his face was hard enough to read when he wasn’t looking away from you. 

Astarion groaned, ringing out the wet rag still sitting in his hands. “That is not an answer, Astarion. I’m cold, and the fire looks so nice.”

“Fine, if we must, we can go,” You smiled down at him as you stood but it was replaced with a look of shock when he pulled you to sit back down, “On one simple condition.” 

You rolled your eyes, “What could you possibly want from me?” 

He stayed silent for a second, but as he noticed you becoming increasingly impatient he began to speak.

“A kiss. Not a petty one, and not on my cheek. I mean a real one.” You were flush in the face once more. He seemed totally serious, a permanent smirk painted on his face, but his eyes stared into your own without any sign of humor. You honestly thought he might be mocking you. 

“Okay. I can do that. Easy, but only if you’re nice and say please.” 

“Now who’s teasing.” You only stared at him, sternly. If he wanted to act like a child, and demand rewards in order to complete simple tasks, then you could tease him like one. “Fine. Please…pretty please.”

Your eyes widened, you didn’t think you had ever heard him say please to anyone, let alone add in a “pretty”.

 He didn’t move, he was entirely dead set on this. His face was close enough to yours that you didn’t have to shuffle very far. As gently as you could, in case he decided that he was joking and pulled away, you placed your hands on his face.

One hand cupping his cheek, fingertips rubbing at the hairs falling delicately in front of his ears, the other near the bottom of his cheek and holding onto his jaw. Slowly, you pulled him in until your lips met his. You still weren’t entirely convinced that he was serious, but when his fingers entangled in your hair and pulled you in deeper, you had a hunch that he might not be joking. 

He didn’t let you pull away until he was entirely satisfied. Your breath was heavy, and your skin was hotter than before in multiple ways. 

“I haven’t had a meaningful one in a long time, darling. Thank you.”

“Should we go sit by the fire?” You stood up, legs wavering before stiffening, and you offered him out your hand. He took it in his large one, following you to the fire, sitting beside you. There was a heavy silence, causing you to look around and see everybody's eyes already on you. 

“What?”

“If you guys are gonna keep sucking each other's faces, could you please do it in a tent? You made me lose my appetite.”

#astarion #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x reader #baldur's gate 3 #bdg3 #baldurs gate x reader #x reader #female reader #oneshot #drabble #fem reader

[ms-demeanor]

Not to be rude or derailing your answer to the ask about the scorched earth post, but I do think quite genuinely that the site is becoming more openly hostile to its userbase, or at the very least its disabled userbase. While I’m not a fan of mobbing people’s personal blogs in targeted harassment campaigns, I think some people are also ignoring that staff blatantly said in a recent post that epileptic users would need to pay for ad-free to have their safety assured

I kind of don’t think that’s being ethical or user friendly, to me that sounds like they’re refusing to meet basic accessibility requests and answering with ‘pay us money to be safe’. Strobing and flashing ads aren’t just eyestraining, they can legitimately lead to serious injuries for epileptic folk, and telling people with epilepsy to just pay up or get lost is kinda… I dunno… disgusting?

So it looks like in a livestream (not on a post so far as I've been able to see) either photomatt or zingring made a glib and inappropriate response to an epileptic user asking about flashing ads and suggested that maybe they needed to pay for ad-free.

That's bad, I don't like it, and if it was supposed to be a joke it was a shitty one.

Zingring, tumblr's COO addressed that comment in a post where she said:

Buying ad-free (or gifting ad-free to someone else) is always an option, but that is not the solution (and of course, some folks simply can’t afford it). Sorry that it sounded dismissive in the session! That was not my intent.

I still think that's inappropriate (it's not that ad free isn't *the* solution, ad free shouldn't be *a* solution to accessibility), but it looks like Zingring has addressed this issue multiple times.

She got tagged in this post listing ways that tumblr could improve accessibility for photosensitive users and seems to have pretty consistently followed up; she has explained that there are rules against flashing ads that are sometimes violated by the advertisers and asks people to please report ads that break those rules so those advertisers can be blocked, has noted that there is apparently a "stop all autoplay" option in the works behind the scenes. She does also seem to take it seriously when users reach out with complaints about accessibility issues and seems to be willing to explore options.

Looking through that blog, this does not seem to be a site that is hostile to users with accessibility issues so much as, like everything else that's wrong around here, it is ridiculously understaffed so every project that someone wants to have as a priority is a project that someone else needs put on the backburner.

However, to very gently push back: how much of what you're experiencing as hostility from tumblr is actual hostility and how much of it is seeing posts like this, which suggests that tumblr is removing accessibility features because the lightbox didn't have double-tap-to-zoom on mobile for some users for a short while, claims that the blocking/flagging issue is a false flag against trans women, shared the inaccurate fearmongering post about tumblr live's ToS, and also claimed that tumblr "allowed" flashing ads that violated the in-place rules that tumblr has for advertising?

(this kind of goes with the 'nobody understands the ToS' but also nobody understands ads; tumblr does not have enough staff to look over the ads that go on their site every day, no social media company does, they rely on advertiser agreements as a sort of enhanced honor system and reports from users if the advertisers don't hold up their end of the bargain; the only way around this for any site that uses ads is to not have ads and that post is explicitly saying don't pay for tumblr because they are doing ads wrong - either they have to run ads and some bad ones are going to slip through and users will have to report them or tumblr will have to be 100% paid by the users or tumblr will go away. If you see ads that are unsafe for photosensitive users on *any* website you should report them to the site because the site almost certainly doesn't know that there's an advertiser violating the ad ToS unless someone tells them)

Generally speaking, I am actually *not* seeing worsening accessibility features, I'm seeing improvements compared to where we were five years ago - alt text on images is now built-in and devs are working hard on making tumblr more compatible with screen readers (as noted in the changes blog regularly); tumblr itself started offering different dashboard themes for users after years of complaints about contrast levels and readability; the "tiktok/twitterified" desktop dash view that everyone hates is supposed to be more readable on wider screens.

Compare this post in October of 2022 when Changes celebrated adding animations for posting (and told users those could only be disabled at an OS or browser level) with this post from July 2023 when they rolled back a feature because of an unexpected use case that could cause problems for photosensitive users.

These aren't things that I'd expect to see from a company that didn't care about accessibility, or that was openly hostile to questions around making the site more accessible.

I don't disagree with you that the comment from the stream about buying ad free was inappropriate; it absolutely was and it must have made photosensitive users feel like shit. But in the three months since that comment tumblr has been very responsive about getting flashing ads removed as soon as possible and seems to be working on more permanent fixes. I think this may be an instance of able-bodied people not realizing how shitty and dehumanizing their joke was (and it was) and taking the steps to do better.

If you don't think they're doing better, I probably can't convince you. I certainly don't think that tumblr is perfect about accessibility and I think that users need to continue pushing for improved user control of how the site displays and interacts with various devices. But compared to the kind of responses users complaints got from staff in 2018? I feel like things have improved a lot.

[adiproseprose]

‘God, I can’t wait for you to explode’

‘Just imagine this helpless piggy too big to walk’

‘No doubt she’ll be immobile soon…’

The addicting tight rush of fullness settles in my bloated gut. My third straight pitcher of weight gain shake collapses to the floor, and I struggle to shake the numbness out of my toes. If I could see them I’d know they were swollen and startlingly red, but I can’t see shit past my massive tits, hanging low to the center of my belly. I sink back into the couch and rub myself off, sausage fingers snaking into my underwear. My chins serve as a resting place for my exhausted head. 

I’ve always been something of an extremist. There was a time where I would count the calories on a baggy of baby carrots. I was a whore in every sense of the word, skinny as a pencil and duller than an eraser. I didn’t need anybody, I had the attention of every boy I made eye contact with. Skipped college and became a model, traveled all over the world. If you want, you can get my before and after shots. 45 bucks a piece, 112 vrs. 675. 

Nobody pays attention to you when you’re fat. 

I kicked the ball down the hill when my agency fired me, parents claiming I was giving their kids bulimia or some bullshit. The ball began to collect years of sugar, fat, salt and grease, hardly able to get out of bed without a mouthful of fresh endorphins. My veins swelled with lard, stomach overstretched and doubled over onto my fat padded knees. 

It was all very discouraging at first. I heard the gossip as I toddled along to my convenience store for my nightly dinner of mars bars and oven fries, about how tiny I used to be, if I was really the same girl. ‘Nobody wants to rub out a fat girl’. 

I drank a lot. Partied a lot. Had a lot of shitty, desperate sex that ended after 4 minutes with a sigh and a cigarette. Then I met this guy. He grabbed my belly and afterwards told me I could make a killing if I kept gaining weight. I told him to fuck off but I looked into it. Feedism is a deep, dark, somewhat fucked up world. But money is green, so I did some analysis. What did they like about these women, big asses, big tits, double chins? These women are making thousands of dollars just to eat. 

I piled on fat like batter in a cake tin. I’m round up top, double belly and huge boobs. Thickness in my face that I don’t love, but my ass is rounder than the moon. 

“Ohhhh…fuck *HIC*...fuck me. I might’ve had too much, guys.” I whine to the camera. I rub and shake my belly. 

“BURRPPP!” 

I like to read the comments while I masturbate. I scroll, an endless stream of aroused fans. 

‘700 bucks if you do a fourth!!111’

‘7 HUNDO!!!!!’

Over and over again this bitch. I roll my eyes. “500 dollars for another one Mr…Pigfarmer?” 

‘YES!!!’

He donates. And I fix the shake on my coffee table, bringing it to my lips. I wince. I really do not wanna throw up. 

“Gonna do this for you, Pigfarmer. Whoooo boy..” 

I down the shake in maybe 2 minutes and let the empty pitcher land on the floor with the others. “So *huff* fucking…fat. Can barely get… off the couch anymore..ughhhh…” 

‘I will feed you until your fucking feet fall off’

‘I can help you off the couch!!!’

‘I’ll feed you and fuck you until you can’t move baby’

This isn’t enough. I need to be fat enough to where anything is monetizable. Walking out to the car. Going up stairs. I’ve made a few sets of my rolling out bed, when my joints are aching and my waddle is exaggerated the most. 

I don’t get much out of this besides the money. If anything, it makes me feel gross. But I blend in effortlessly, I’ve gone so deep. I’m not a feedee. I am a fat fucking whale who happens to be fat because it makes me ridiculous amounts of money. It makes it a lot easier to smile. 

“Alright, guys, I’m gonna hop off. See you guys next time!! Love you!” 

I click. 1700 dollars from an hour stream. Not too bad. I wipe the sweat off my forehead and drum my belly. I’m numb. I’m covered in grease, shake powder and cum. I can barely make it through my day without that tight fullness now. I wheeze deeply as I contemplate what to eat for dinner.

#death feederism #extreme weight gain #weight gain fiction #female feedee #dark feedism #weight gain #death feedist #weight gain writing #fat piggy #dark feederism #dom feedee #bloated piggy #death feedism fiction #weight gain story #fatty #fatass #fat girls #feed me #feedee belly #belly kink #glorify obesity #double belly #double chin #fat

[ystrike1]

Don't Look Back, Seisia! - By danryhan (8.5/10)

A poisonous love battle, featuring a ruthless Duke who acts kind and a merciful healer with a bad reputation. They are a loving and tender couple. Their honesty is the highest charm point in their relationship. The magical poison part of the story gets kind of pointlessly complicated, but it's good.

Seisia Lidyne is an adult woman who knows her worth. Not a crying child in need of saving. At least not at first. The forces working against her have way more influence than her. There's only so much she can do with no allies and knives in her back. Her father remarried. Her younger brother is an idiot sadist. Her father only cares about his male heir, and her stepmother only cares about her reputation.

It's a powder keg that explodes whenever Seisia Lidyne dares to step outside.

Her stepmother has been using her as a scapegoat.

Seisia Lidyne is an infamous hoe. Her poor brother was tormented by her, and her countless men. That's why he's such a nasty loser. It's all her fault. The rumors are both extravagant and ridiculous but Stepmother Lidyne puts YEARS of effort into the lies.

Seisia is left friendless with no marriage prospects.

She leaves the house.

Yep.

She also doesn't care about her father at all.

She walks out the door.

Time passes, and she finds a bloody man on the ground. Seisia has healing magic. Does this make her super special? No. It's pretty rare but healers have zero offensive capabilities. She never ever revealed her powers to anyone, because she knew her scummy father would use her gift to make money.

Dian is just another man who benefits from her services.

She settles down in a village. She uses her herbal knowledge and her magic to make a modest amount of money, for herself.

It's nobody else's business.

She quickly figures out he is noble. He's too educated. His clothes are too nice, and he was badly poisoned. His fingers were actually blue. Two plus two equals four. She helps him and sends him on his way.

Seisia Lidyne has no one. No one that can be trusted. No one that she likes. Her rare hair and eye color makes her a target. The local villagers eventually realize she's a runaway noblewoman, and they want to turn her in for money. Her awful family is looking for her because they need their scapegoat.

She doesn't flirt with Dian, who is secretly a Duke with poisonous mind control magic.

He goes after her.

They are opposites in funny ways. He sticks around the village to watch her, and he notices that she's actually kind. Even when she doesn't need to be. All of the villagers gossip about her sordid past. They talk about hurting her. Selling her back to her abusers. Dian hears them all, and he wonders why she doesn't want revenge.

Dian is frustrated. His reputation is perfect. Everyone thinks he's kind, because of his manipulative magic. On the inside he's your average ruthless Duke. He's a master of poison too so...two plus two equals four...

He kills the men who want to harm her with a burning cloud of poison ash.

He thinks he wouldn't mind dying if she killed him.

Dian is a strange kind of yandere. He's happy about it. He loves being in love. He resented his mother for most of his life, because she died in a stupid way.

His mother sacrificed herself for love, even though she had a six year old son that needed her. He didn't understand her.

Seisia is kidnapped by her family, and he doesn’t hesitate.

Now he does. His love for Seisia showed him the light. His mother could not give up on her first love, even after he betrayed her. That's normal and natural. He finally feels the same way about his own love.

It gives him closure, and he can finally let the past go.

Dian uses his status to save her and marry her. He is too powerful to refuse, and Seisia is happy about it. With no allies running from her father is a pipe dream, but she can trust Dian.

She also has no choice.

Dian listens to her woes. He accepts her past. Her flaws. Her fears. He promises her the world and he wants to give it to her.

Her brother has dark magic. That's why he gets so much special treatment. He tortured her with bugs. He helped spread the rumors about her sordid affairs.

He feels no remorse either.

Seisia is so happy to talk to someone she can trust.

The "real" Dian isn't hidden away. He shares his true thoughts and feelings with her too. He has enemies he needs to dispose of. They already tried to kill him. The gloves are off.

Seisia pledges to help her husband, like a good wife.

He takes her to an endless field of flowers, where four families compete for power. Even though she's a healer it's a struggle for her to get used to all the poison in the air.

She tries her best. He helps her, and together they rise to the top of the flower battle.

He gives her his blood, as proof of his love. His blood is the antidote. His mind control powers can no longer affect her. He has to trust her, and she has to feel the same way. When he says he can't live without her he really means it.

#yandere #male yandere #yandere male #yandere boy #recommendations #recs #rec #recommended #Don't Look Back #Seisia!

[honeybleed]

— ★ BABY FEVER // JEAN KIRSTEIN

author’s note: REUPLOAD!!!

word count: 1k

Weekends were usually uneventful for you and Jean, especially after being together for a few months now.

The honeymoon phase had slightly died down.

Not to say that things had fizzled out between you or anything. He still was the same sweet guy who was head over heels for you when you first met, but things were a lot calmer now.

There wasn't this need to put up a front any longer, and that was for both of you.

"Oi." His voice dragged you out of your daze as he stood in front of the shopping cart, leaning against it.

You shook your head and faced him.

"...Yeah?" You replied. His eyebrows were a little furrowed.

He was in a bit of a bad mood since he got tired quickly whenever you would drag him to your mother's home, full of all your nieces and nephews and siblings.

You snickered a little when you could see two girls huddled by the shelf giggling to themselves as they were checking him out.

You knew that tight black shirt of his that outlined his physique was nothing but trouble. It didn't help that it was rising a little and his lower half was exposed.

"Put back one of the cereals." He said, bluntly.

"Why should I?" You retorted.

Another part of the settling-in phase was when you and Jean stopped putting on the mask.

And one of Jean's irritating habits was his frugality. He liked expensive things — yes, because they had quality but he hated wasting money on things that were cheap crap with no nutritional value as he put it.

He snatched the box.

"Let's see...hm...well on this one the amount of additives is shocking." He snorted as he squinted at the label of the box.

"I'm not putting it back." You snapped, then returned your focus to the couple with a baby in their arms.

Jean snorted. You were as stubborn as him but he liked that about you. He watched you gaze at the baby in particular with a glimmer in your eyes and a warm smile.

He was a sharp man. He put two and two together, these past few weeks he couldn't ignore how your eyes lit up whenever you saw parents with their children, whether it was babies or toddlers whenever the two of you went out.

He knew you came from a large family too.

As much as it did tire him out to spend the day at your mother's house with all those troublesome and loud nieces and nephews of yours, it was all worth it when he saw you bounce a baby on your knee or when you rushed to kiss and hug one of them who scraped their knee after you cleaned and bandaged their injury.

He was just really waiting on you to say something.

Of course, he always wanted to be a father. And the man was crazy about you, there was nobody else he would want to be the mother of his child.

But it was your call.

The store was within walking distance to the apartment the both of you shared, and truth be told you did enjoy going grocery shopping with Jean.

You adored him and you always felt at peace and safe in his presence.

"You were staring at those baby clothes for quite some time." He said, wryly as you walked down the street which was slightly hushed since it was evening.

You blinked.

"Really?" You said, with an uneasy laugh.

"Yeah." He chortled. "Something on your mind..?" He still had his smart-ass face which annoyed you to no end sometimes but you could hear a hint of concern.

You gazed out at the trees in the park, the breeze rustling the leaves a little.

"...Jean, I want a baby." You finally said after a beat of silence.

"...You do?" He asked, eyes widening a little taken aback. You said it so clearly that it caught him off guard.

You turned to face him, you felt a little ridiculous professing such a heavy statement while holding groceries.

"Yeah..."

"Jeez." He finally replied. "All those times you would threaten to kill me if I knocked you up." He said as he shook his head.

"Jean!" You hissed as you elbowed his side sharply.

"Okay, okay!" He quickly said. "I mean I had a gut feeling."

You spent the rest of the evening together not discussing the conversation you had on the way home. It was pretty heavy and all.

That is until you both finished your nighttime routines.

He was already lying in bed, in his own world staring at the ceiling, arms behind his head. He propped himself up on his elbows as he saw you approach the bed with a wide grin.

You immediately surged towards him, sliding your arms around his waist and nestling into the covers. He laughed a little at how eager you were, a smile on your face too as you rested your head against his bare chest.

He peppered a few kisses across your forehead and pulled you impossibly close to him.

As you absentmindedly traced figure eights on his forearms, he settled his large hand on your waist.

You love how Jean looks at you. The glimmer in his eyes makes you feel like you're the only girl in the world.

"You sure about what you said earlier?" He asked.

It was obvious what he was referring to.

"I can't help this feeling. I know it's heavy but I'm sure I'm capable, we're more than capable." You responded, voice firm.

"Whatever you want, I'm with you." He said. "We're in it together."

You craned your head to look at him, eyes flitting to meet his. You could see reassurance in his eyes which left you in awe a little.

Leaning in to press a gentle, chaste kiss on his lips as a thank you.

His large and calloused hand cupped the side of your face not letting you pull away which made your stomach jolt a little.

You called out his name, dissolving into hysterics then nudging your forehead against his. He settled a hand on the nape of your neck.

"So I guess we better get started now, hm?" He murmured with a mischievous glint in his eye.

You thumped his chest with a fist.

"Jean!"

#aot x reader #jean kirstein x reader #aot fluff #aot drabbles #jean kirstein #jean kirstein fluff #aot x female reader #aot x y/n #aot x fem reader #aot x black reader #aot x black y/n #aot scenarios #⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡ nara scribbles

[piratefishmama]

Beware The Thorns | Part 1

(a NSFW multi-part ficlet)

“Who was that Eds?”

“Mind your business, shithead” Eddie pocketed his phone, he recognised the number the moment it flashed up on his work phone, a device he always had on him regardless of where he was, he could be at a FUNERAL, and he’d have that phone on him.

In this instance however, it was merely a family dinner. Well… family and the Henderson’s, so yeah. Family. He’d excused himself upstairs and answered as soon as he was out of earshot.

Evidently, he’d been followed.

“I heard you say you loved them… are you seeing someone?” Eddie tried really hard to not be insulted by his tone, a weird mixture of disturbed amazement, with just a dash of disbelief for flavour. Was it that much of a stretch to see him dating someone?

Was it that unbelievable to the person he’d practically grown up with, that he could find someone who’d like him?

Maybe it was. Didn’t mean he had to like it; his job had kept him away from actually… dating anyone.

“Maybe I am, again, mind your damn business.” Of course they didn’t know what he was, what he did to earn his money, he’d spun some lie years ago about an online business because ‘rockstar’ had to… actually have evidence, he had an actual legitimate website to keep the lie going, nothing ever really went through it, but… it worked to keep the questions at bay.

Nobody asked, and he didn’t tell, he was a grown ass adult, he didn’t NEED to tell anyone.

Dustin sighed, shoulders slumping in defeat, good… he’d have never gotten anything out of him anyway “fine, fine don’t tell me… don’t tell meee, your only brother.”

“We’re not even relat—”

“The best man at your future wedding.”

“Since when was I getting marri—”

“The Wan Kenobi to your Obi.”

“What the—”

“I am happy for you though, the both of you! I hope you’ll bring him home someday, I’m sure we’d all like to meet him” Eddie’s eyes widened… he’d never… fuck … he’d never said anyth— “What, you think you’re all crafty? C’mon Eddie, you can’t even sit normally.”

“The fuck has that got to do with anything?!”

“Y’know… gay people… they can’t sit properly… in chairs…? Is that wrong?” at least that proved that Dustin could be uncertain about some things.

“You’ve been on that stupid app again, haven’t you?” He had the decency to look guilty at the very least. “The fuck have I told you?”

“It’s dumb and addictive and I should stop, BUT IT’S HELPING ME LEARN!”

“It’s filling your head with bullshit! Fine, I’m gay, what the fuck ever. Go back downstairs for the love of all that is holy, and just give me a minute to process that you’ve been theorising my sexuality based on how I sit, and don’t you DARE tell anyone.”

“Oh, c’mon Eddie! You’re old enough to come out now, you have your own place, your own business! Plus, we all love you, no judgement here, this is a judgy free zone.”

“I will rip out your larynx and shove it up your ass if you even THINK of telling them.”

“But… how will you know if i’m thi—okay I won’t say anything, i wouldn't say anything. Not my place.” Eddie had levelled him with a look, a single, rage squint look, a look which promised imminent pain if he did not take his nosy ass and remove it from his presence, and he’d accepted that look for what it was. A promise.

Not just a threat.

“I’m gonna have to go early, my… my boyfriend, will be home tonight, the ridiculous idiot never has food in so I’m gonna go sort that out.”

“You’re buying his food for him? Eddie… that’s… he’s not just using you for money is he cause that’s really bad.”

“No dumbass, he’ll give it me back.”

“Right away?”

“YES, right away.”

“Not just promises he doesn’t intend to keep?”

“Dustin, I will brutally murder each and every one of your characters in graphic detail within five minutes of every campaign for the next year if you do not—”

“Okay!” Hands up in surrender, Dustin took a step backwards, a threat to his precious characters was no laughing matter, even if Eddie would struggle to make that kind of threat happen, the risk was there! He still had to ask “is… is he good though?” Of course, Eddie could threaten all he liked.

Dustin was his little brother, or as good as! It was his job to be insufferable.

The question however, made him think, he could pick any of them, any one of his clients to mould this imaginary boyfriend from, maybe mix and match, bring him to life from attributes of all of them, that’d be fine right? Nobody but Dustin really knew he was dating so… he wouldn’t be introducing them to him.

Perfectly coiffed brown hair… a warm smile… big, strong hands, a constellation of pretty moles dotted in places Eddie knew far too well. There was no amalgamation of faces, no mixture of personalities to make the perfect one, just a soft smile, warm hands, broad shoulders, muscle, and perfectly soft, thick brown hair… his favourite.

“Yeah… he’s… he’s great, Dustin… you’d like him” big strong softie he was, and it was so easy falling into the role of his boyfriend too, he’d been paying for that package for what felt like forever, he felt like he knew the man inside and out, like the back of his own hand.

He was the only one to have paid for that package continuously for over more than a few months, even Hagan only paid for it every now and then, never continuously. He thought Steve would have gotten tired of him by now but… It’d been two years.

Some people expected MARRIAGE after two years in a relationship.

Steve Harrington seemed to want him more and more by the day and the surprising thing, was that the thought didn’t invoke the same level of panic that he were SURE it would if anyone else were to have those wants, those needs of him.

He felt… comfortable with Steve, safe with him. Like he could show hints of himself, the real himself without the fear of losing him, of putting him off.

“You look so dopey smiling like that, y’know? You must really like him, huh?” He’d been smiling? Fuck… “Well… anyone who can make you smile like that just thinking about him is alright by me, I’ll cover for you, you can go sort his food out if you want.”

This was fine… totally completely fine. Would be better if Dustin could actually keep his mouth shut but alas. Dustin had a history of foot in mouthisms that'd gotten them into trouble after trouble after trouble years on the trot.

Eddie probably shouldn't have continued to tell him stuff, but that was his little brother so. He had to.

“Uh… yeah… yeah I like him. Thanks, I’ll… grab my coat, just tell em I feel sick or somethin so I’m goin home” he didn’t say goodbye, Dustin probably did that for him, just grabbed his coat and snuck out like he used to do as a teenager when he simply couldn’t be bothered dealing with his fathers drunk ranting about queers being put in cages.

He did have to come to one very unfortunate conclusion after that conversation though. After seeing Steve instead of a mishmash of faces, after being unable to put a random face to the title and spin it as truth.

Feelings were there. Real feelings. The mushy shit. The wants for more that he couldn’t have. The Pretty Woman syndrome without the corny and frankly rushed happy ending.

It couldn’t continue anymore, what he had with Steve had to end. Feelings… real feelings… he couldn’t have real feelings for his clients. It put his whole career on the line, his way of life gone in an instant all because his heart had to go all gooey for someone who probably didn’t even give a real fuck about him.

This was fine.

After the evening was done… he’d end it, terminate their contract. It was for the best. Steve deserved better than him anyway.

Part 3

#PirateWrites #BewareTheThornsFiclet #No Upside Down AU #Steddie #Escort!Eddie #Shady!Steve

[kitthepurplepotato]

My Weird Boyfriend, Midoriya Izuku!

Second Season of My Weird Roommate Midoriya Izuku !

Please read the first season before starting this, otherwise it won’t make sense.

~•🥦•~

Basic info:

- (Almost) Established Midoriya x quirkless female reader

- Other minor relationships: Bakugou x Kirishima, Kaminari x Shinsou (mostly just hints, except if you guys want to see more from them!)

- Warnings: Suggestive, swear words, new warnings on every chapter. I don’t really want to write smut but if it ever happens it will be in a separate chapter and it won’t be important for the main plot! 16+ for now.

- I’ll post as soon as I can but I can’t do it weekly for a while for personal reasons; please read this for more information! Be on the taglist so you don’t miss the new chapters! 🩷

Master List

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Chapter 0 - Midoriya Izuku tells the truth! (Midoriya POV)

The responsibility of being the number one hero comes to Izuku naturally; it’s like he was born for it, even though it was literally the opposite.

Affection, love and care also in his blood; he grew up in a loving family even without having a father; his mother is the most affectionate, most sensitive person in the whole world and Izuku is proud to say that he inherited all of that from her.

What Izuku has no idea about is… well… putting feelings into words and acting upon them.

Midoriya Izuku knows he is certainly fucked, as Katsuki likes to say, and he knows that one day, karma will bite his ass for taking so much from Sweet Pea without telling her about his own, absolutely not friendly feelings, but he just can’t do it. Sweet Pea is the purest soul in the whole wide world, her heart is nothing but pure gold, her touches feel like heaven, her skin smells like home and Izuku is quite sure Sweet Pea is not actually quirkless she’s just a descendant of an Angel and her quirk is jut her being… well… that.

He can write essays about how perfect Sweet Pea is; he’s not lying about that, he has three notebooks full of notes hidden in his secret room nobody knows about, every page filled with nice things about his lovely roommate, about her morning routine, about all the skincare products she uses before she goes to bed, about what food she prefers to eat and what food she makes only for Izuku but barely touches herself; for instance, when Sweet Pea makes a fruit salad she only eats the berries out of it the leaves the rest of it in the fridge for Izuku to finish. Oh, and every time she makes broccoli, she looks really guilty when she’s eating it and that’s the cutest thing in Izuku’s opinion. Oh and mushrooms; Sweet Pea doesn’t like mushrooms. At all. Oh and there is that really lovely cream she uses right before bed that smells really flowery so every evening, Izuku hides his face in Sweet Pea’s neck to smell it; it took him a bit of time to find the right product in her skincare cabinet and Izuku was horrified to realize the bottle was half empty so he quickly ordered one from Amazon so it never runs out; he was really surprised how ridiculously pricy it was but when the box arrived, it all made sense; he accidentally ordered a set of 10.

By the way, it doesn’t smell as nice on him as it does on Sweet Pea, but it does make his skin look flawless and moisturized so he has no complains. Plus, Sweet Pea doesn’t need to spend any money to buy a new tube because Izuku makes sure to change her tube up to a new one before it runs out.

Wait, how did he end up thinking about this?

Oh yeah, feelings. Friendly feelings and non-friendly ones. Yeah, he doesn’t really get that. When Izuku loves he loves aggressively and he can’t really see where one feeling ends and where the other starts hence why it took him a lifetime to realize when his relationship with Sweet Pea went past the friendzone and even then, it did not feel like it was past anything; it all felt natural to him like breathing.

Izuku would lie if he would say he doesn’t have any idea about romance; sadly, he does. But that romance was nothing like what he has with Sweet Pea; that romance was nothing but him being played over and over again for nothing but his money and when he ran out of all of it he was dumped like a misbehaving dog; not useful, not needed anymore.

It’s a story he doesn’t like to share; he was young and stupid, he was forced to do so much stuff he wasn’t ready for but he was too happy to be loved and appreciated he didn’t care about his own feelings at that time, neither about his missing money; until he was able to pay his mom’s rent and his own, he was more than happy to spend all of the rest on his “loved one” and let’s just say he definitely learnt a lesson right there and he vowed he’ll never fall in love again. After a few months of self destruction and a few explosions right in his face he realized the world isn’t about the end; his life is already perfect even without the romance; he has the best friends and the best family, he has a beautiful flat with a beautiful fluffy cat, he’s loved by so many and he’s the symbol of peace now, just how he wanted it all his life.

Life was great and he was satisfied.

But then…

He opened his door to welcome his new roommate who had a Deku cardboard cutout under her armpit.

It wasn’t love for the first sight but it was on the second; the way she slept peacefully in his arms when he shuffled over to her bed to put her to sleep, the way she took care of him when he came home drenched in blood, the way she’s never asked for anything in exchange for all the love and care she poured into his flat and his now-beautiful garden; it all happened without his knowledge, without a single warning, just like that, out of the blue and BAMM!

… yeah.

Midoriya Izuku always wondered why was his own point of view never a part of this silly fanfiction but seeing his thoughts written down on this piece of paper, now he can understand, why.

This is a mess, man.

So after the Big Bang, Izuku wasn’t sure what to do with himself. If he has to choose between keeping his Sweet Pea around as a close friend or losing her because of his silly little feelings, he would choose to go with the former for obvious reasons. Also, doing frisky things with your roommate sounds weirdly illegal, even if Kacchan says it’s okay and Kirishima says your girlfriend who lives with you is also technically your roommate so Izuku’s hour-long mumble doesn’t really make any sense.

When Izuku innocently asks which kind of roommates are those two, he was respectfully thrown out their window.

It was just a joke. There is no way Kacchan is doing frisky things with Kirishima.

… right?

Okay, how did he end up here again?

Oh yeah, love.

Izuku fell in love.

That’s it.

Things were alright for a while; there were a few occasions when Izuku felt a really strong urge to kiss Y/N in a non-friendly way; it usually came randomly, like when they both stared at each other during a movie or when Izuku came home and Y/N jumped into his arms, content and happy that he’s finally home, or when Y/N made his favorite food for dinner, or when Y/N fell asleep in his arms… okay, he felt the urge almost every day but he was strong enough to stop himself until they went camping together and…

No, he is NOT going to make a comment about his drunk shenanigans. That goes to the grave with him. The one occasion he wants to talk about though is when he accidentally kissed Sweet Pea… on the mouth. That’s when the dam broke.

He wanted to let her go right away, of course he did, but her lips were so soft and so squishy and… okay, maybe he lingered a bit before he actually moved away and maybe he hoped there will be another accident in the near future so he can relive that beautiful feeling but the life wasn’t kind to him enough for that; instead, Sweet Pea got sick and Izuku made an absolute fool of himself by freaking out completely. He even got hurt during a battle. He’s never been so disappointed in himself than that day. Thankfully, Katsuki saved the day and as always, exploded his face a few times to get him to his senses, even his mother helped to nurse his girl back to health, so it’s all well if it’s end well and Izuku must say, the next few days after were like a dream; they were both happy in each other’s arms, all the cautions thrown into the fire; Izuku was the happiest man on Earth.

…But there is a reason why people say not to play with fire; it looks nice from far away, but when you get too close to it… it burns like a bitch.

It was a few days after Sweet Pea got better. Izuku was already so close to confess to Y/N, tell her he loves her and that he wants her to be his; he was just about to say it out loud when he was called in to work on his day off. He was mad and angry but he decided to let it go; he made a plan in his head that day, the perfect, fool-proof plan to swoon Sweet Pea the right way.

He will get a lovely pink pot of flowers for her window seal first then he’ll ask Y/N out for dinner; there is a beautiful restaurant on the rooftop of the highest building in Tokyo which he wanted to rent out completely for one day, have a lovely dinner then watch the stars together, snuggled under a cozy blanket with mulled wine in their hands. Then Deku would take out the little box from his pocket; the little box with a little ring, made by his friend Melissa; it’s not an engagement ring, it’s more like a promise; the ring is actually a really cool support item Melissa made especially by Deku’s orders. It doesn’t matter what it is really but yes, he will give the ring to Sweet Pea and tell her about his feelings.

And then… they can have their first kiss under the skies and it will be perfect… if she feels the same of course. If not… that’s another story.

… well. Life had other plans for Izuku.

Blaming it on life isn’t the most manly thing to do though because really, it was all Izuku’s fault.

Sweet Pea and Izuku were chilling on the sofa, watching a lovely movie that afternoon. The mood was perfect, calm and homey, Y/N was warm in his arms and she smelled amazing; he just wanted to remember her beautiful, serene face as she tried to look sneak glances at him, he just wanted to remember the spark in her eyes when their gazes met in the dim lighting; he just wanted to feel how soft Y/N’s cheeks are on this lovely afternoon, but somehow, he got lost in the sensation, lost in those beautiful eyes staring into his soul, and without a single thought in his lovesick brain, Midoriya Izuku looked down at her lips, which he tried to not ever do. It was a mistake; Y/N licked her lips right in front of Midoriya’s hungry eyes and somehow, he ended up being jealous of Y/N’s own tongue for being able to do that, his mind went dark and his heart exploded; he felt like he needed to have a taste himself, just a tiny little peck to soothe the burning desire in his chest, so he did.

He did, and he hated himself so much in that moment.

There were two different kind of feelings raging inside of him; one was self-hatred and the second was pure hunger. He concentrated on the first one; he mumbled a quiet sorry, his eyes the size of saucers but Y/N wasn’t listening to him; she was staring at him, but her eyes were cloudy and so-so beautiful; he tried again then, said sorry again and again and again but Sweet Pea turned his world upside down with her next move; she shut him up with another kiss, right on his mouth, like kissing him there is the most normal thing in the world and Izuku’s lost it; he lost the fight against his desires and slowly crawled closer and closer until there was nothing to stop him from kissing Y/N until their mouths hurt.

It was amazing for the first few minutes; it felt like finally, the last piece of puzzle found its place; he felt complete and so-so happy in Y/N’s arms, the kiss was everything he wanted and so much more; her lips were soft and gentle and she tasted amazing, but somewhere in the back of his mind Izuku knew this is a mistake and finally, his mind caught up to his heart and the happiness came to an end.

Sweet Pea deserved so much more than a few fleeting kisses out of nowhere. Sweet Pea deserved to be loved and appreciated and she deserved to have a choice in this; she might have reciprocated, but he didn’t even ask for her consent before the first kiss. Izuku messed up terribly; as the pink clouds cleared out he started to spiral, which ended up with him crying in his roommate’s arms, begging for forgiveness, but even being forgiven didn’t make Izuku’s heartache less painful. This was a mistake but he can’t say it will never happen again; he won’t be able to forget how it was like to be so close to the person he loves the most, and it’s only a matter of time before he will seek this comfort again. Their friendship is doomed and it’s all his fault; so Izuku braced himself and served his heart on a silver platter right in front of her; he tried his best to make this last “I love you” different than the others, but she just said it back and left him in his misery and Izuku took it as a rejection; he went to his room, crying his eyes out like a silly little teenager after his first heartbreak.

“Kacchan…” Izuku sobbed into the phone and Katsuki’s yelling subdued right away.

“You should be happy, what the fuck are you crying about?” Katsuki mumbled aggressively, but there was a hint of worry in his voice.

“This is not how this was supposed to happen. This is wrong. So wrong…” Izuku sobbed and even without seeing Kacchan’s face he knew he’s rolling his eyes.

“Oh my god, you fucker, life isn’t some motherfucking fairy tale where everything is perfect.” Katsuki reprimanded. “You are not the first fucking person whose romance didn’t go by their plans, you annoying little prick!” Katsuki yelled and suddenly, Izuku could hear another voice in the background.

“Katsuki, stop.” Eijirou’s voice got closer to the microphone. “What Katsuki is trying to say is that just because you’ve made a mistake it doesn’t mean your feelings are not true. I’ll tell you a story… from the past, okay?” Eijirou asked but Izuku had no idea why he felt the need to ask that, but okay. Maybe he wasn’t asking him but someone else? But the only person close to him is….

Oh.

Well, Izuku was too mentally exhausted to put the two things together right now.

This is not the right chapter for THAT reveal, anyway.

“So when I was young and stupid I had this friend I really liked.” Eijirou started, then laughed. “Okay, liking this person was an understatement, I was head over heels for him. So one day, we were chatting about romance and this person was talking about how they’ve never kissed before so I decided to use this opportunity and get a little bit of action out of it. Well, things have escalated and we ended up… going way past the “two bros kissing” stage and I really thought our friendship will be over after that; but then they laughed and everything went back to normal like nothing had happened. So that’s one thing. But the other thing is…” The line went silent for a few seconds, but then Eijirou started speaking again. “I hate myself to this day for letting the opportunity go; they were in my arms and I had all the power to tell them about my feelings and at least give ourselves a try in a romantic way. But I chickened out and I let the “mistake” go forgotten. I beat myself up every single day for it. Don’t be like me. It fucking sucks.” Eijirou sighed on the other side of the line.

“Do you still love the fucker?” Kacchan mumbled, barely audible. Izuku didn’t know Kacchan’s voice can go so soft.

“Would it be really pathetic to say I do?” Eijirou laughed with a sad tone to his usually preppy voice.

“Maybe instead of giving shitty advice to shitty Deku, you should grow some balls and ask the fucker out finally, because I’m quite fucking sure they’ve been waiting for fucking ages for you to get your shit together.” Katsuki retorted aggressively and there was an awkward silence on the other side of the line.

“Uhm, guys, would you like me to end the call?” Izuku mumbled, gobsmacked.

“Not yet, Deku.” Kacchan yelled. “You don’t need to act now or tomorrow. Just give it a fucking thought and get your head out of your ass. Got it?”

“Yeah, Kacchan. Thanks.” Izuku smiled. Kacchan might be an angry midget but he is an amazing friend.

“Now let me call Headphones and message your girlfriend, knowing her she’s probably trying to get through this alone like a real idiot.”

Scratch Izuku’s last sentence. Kacchan is the best friend the world has ever seen.

“Call us if you need to, okay? We love you Zuku-boo!”

“Jesus Christ, that was the gayest shit you’ve ever said, Eijirou.” Katsuki laughed on the other side, loud and airy.

“I feel kinda gay today, to be honest.” Eijirou laughed back and the line went silent.

~•🥦•~

As everyone probably knows by now, Midoriya Izuku likes to overthink everything, so needless to say, he took his fucking time to think about his relationship as well.

He didn’t mean to stop eating and ignore everything for the sake of having more time to think about the same thing over and over again and he genuinely didn’t realize how harmful the whole thing was until he got slapped in the face by Sweet Pea’s teary eyes.

Izuku did learn his lesson the last time he did something so stupid as to ignore Y/N’s feelings, so this time, he listened and spoke up about his own; it was painful and Izuku swears something broke inside of him, but it was so worth it to be able to put his legs in Y/N’s lap in a pathetic attempt for intimate contact.

He wanted to snuggle up close and caress her arms, hide his head in his favorite spot, kiss the soft skin of her neck until Y/N’s tiny sighs fill the space… but Midoriya Izuku knows he won’t be able to stop himself there if this ever becomes a reality so he just… forced his mind to shut down and concentrate on the boring movie playing in the TV.

Life has been really hectic around him in the last couple of days, so don’t judge him for forgetting about his friend coming to Japan. They had an agreement; whenever the other is in town, they are more than welcome to use their facilities and spare beds to spare some money. No questions asked. Hence why Melissa came without a single word, and it’s fine.

He really should have realized there is no spare bed in his flat anymore for a guest though.

Izuku knew he was being ridiculous with this whole “I don’t let anyone in my room” thing, but his room is filled with personal pictures and memorabilia to the brim and a step inside his room feels like a step inside his soul and even though Izuku is the most open, most welcoming person on Earth, he’s still terrified to let anyone inside.

Well… anyone… but his Sweet Pea.

It was a really surprising realization for him, to be absolutely honest.

He also realized he kinda wants to let Y/N in into his room, he wants her to wander around and find the secret pieces of his soul laying on the shelves, and maybe, he wants Y/N to find out that a big part of his heart belongs to her already.

And she did. She did find them all and…

Oh, the ever loving god and all the angels above, thank you; the kiss Izuku received that day will forever haunt him in his sleep, in the best way possible. He will never ever be able to sleep again. Oh my god, Izuku is so absolutely whipped right now it’s actually kind of ridiculous.

There’s nothing in his head but fluffy pink clouds and Sweet Pea’s soft lips. Ladies, gents and everyone in between, Midoriya Izuku has left the earth and lives in Candy Land now.

If Izuku thought he was in love before, this is… something else completely. He drinks Y/N, he eats Y/N, he breathes Y/N, she’s so perfect and cute and squishy and she gives the best morning kisses… letting their friendship change over the course of the night was the best idea. They didn’t talk about what they are, but honestly, Izuku isn’t even sure there is a need to do that; whatever relationship they are in right now, they both know their hearts belong to the other; and honestly, that’s all that matters in Izuku’s opinion.

For now, he is happy with whatever Sweet Pea throws in front of him.

Maybe one day, he will feel the urge to give this a name, and knowing how romantic Izuku is when it comes to his Sweet Pea, he’ll probably ask her to be his girlfriend in a day or two, but right now, in this moment, Izuku needs nothing else to be the happiest nerd the world has ever seen.

… Next Chapter!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Potato ramble:

- I hope you enjoyed seeing Midoriya’s side of the story! I’m actually quite proud of it.

- I can’t really do my usual rambles right now as I’m in a really bad mental state but I really hope this chapter made your day a bit better! I really enjoyed editing it!

- I’m really not sure when I’ll be able to post the next chapter as it’s quite painful for my foreigner ass to write it properly! (I have an exact picture of Deku’s agency in my head and I’m trying my best to write it down but man, I’m struggling so much 😂😂😂) Please be kind and patient with me for a while, honestly, I’m not sure how am I even functioning as a human being right now.

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated as always! 🥦

TL: @porusuniverse @stickygumchewer @sixxze @mily-moo @aei-sedai-moiraine @aymasakusa @kastuar @kenzie-deadly @shiviwrites07 @lukerycyja-reblogs @cloroxisadelectabletreat @coffeent @kisskissshutmydoor @bobcar1 @yazminetrahan @cringefan @ronimacaroni77 @thekookiecorner @dangerousluv1 @emperatris-rinaka @shotos-angelic-whore @angelsdemonsmonsters @norvacaine @rei165

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #midoriya izuku x y/n #midoriya izuku x reader #midoriya x you #midoriya x reader #pro hero deku x reader #midoriya izuku x you #midoriya izuku

[humansofnewyork]

“I worked as a legal assistant for 50 years. And I’ve always been lucky to work for honest, kind, brilliant attorneys. All that paperwork might seem boring to other people. But I never even took lunch, that’s how much I loved it. I loved the law. It’s very precise. My work needed to be exactly right. And there was a lot of pride there. But something seems to have changed in the culture. So many of my coworkers would rush out the door at 5 o’clock. With important, unfinished things on their desk. In law you have to get things out quickly, but it’s like they just didn’t care. Maybe it’s a generational thing. I’m older, I’m 77. So maybe there’s something I don’t get. ‘Quiet quitting,’ and all of that, I just don’t understand it. If it’s just a paycheck to you, if you’re getting by on the minimum, and not trying to be perfect, or God forbid, if you're screwing it up on purpose,  why are you even going to work? Save your pennies and quit. Find something else you can take pride in. If you’re spending eight hours a day on something you don’t take pride in, it seems to me that somewhere, deep down inside, you’re a phony. Maybe not a phony. But you’re deluding yourself. It’s going to spill over into the rest of your life. And there’s not enough money for me. Well, $20,000 a week maybe. But otherwise there’s not enough money for me to not take pride in my work. I couldn’t do it. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I can’t. You know how people text, and there’s like spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes and everything? Not me. I’ll reread everything. I’ll go back and fix it, I’ll put in the comma. That’s who I am. You either have it or you don’t, and less people have it now. I think it was the digital revolution. When I first started working there were typewriters. If you made a mistake, you had to redo it. You had to be careful, you had to get it right, until the computer came along. I remember my boss was so excited about the computer age. He said: ‘It’s going to be great! We’re going to have a paperless office!’ I knew better. I told him: ‘There’s going to be a lot more paper, actually.’ Because you can reprint everything. And nobody’s going to care anymore.’”

[cuubism]

actor hob, and pretentious asshole film director dream

[ this got so long and so weird and specific i'm so sorry ]

so hob is an everyman actor. a good actor, charismatic, funny, fan favorite, but not the type that gets cast in highbrow art films. mostly he does like romcoms, mid-budget action movies, feel-good family films, etc etc. and he's totally cool with that, he's good at what he does, and people enjoy those films, anyway. he might be getting a bit bored though, a bit stagnant. might be thinking it's time for some reinvention. and there might be a certain director whose ridiculous and nonsensical but dreamy films he's particularly enamored with...

dream makes REALLY pretentious art films. the types that get studied in graduate level film classes and have fifty different academic papers with fifty different theses trying to puzzle them out. dream is a master of themes and images and subtle construction. he is also a COMPLETE asshole and impossible to work with, an auteur in the most stereotypical way possible, he writes and directs, he micromanages all his projects, he asserts his vision and god help anyone who goes against it. nobody can handle him, nobody can STAND him, and the only reason he still gets funding for these projects is because they win awards, so many awards, and the studios want to ride on the coattails of those awards. but it's getting to the point where even his most ride-or-die producers are ready to give up.

right off the back of dream's most recent bafta, a rather naive Big Exec approaches him to direct the next installment of his Big Superhero Franchise. dream is immediately like fuck off with that bullshit but the exec pleads with him that the franchise is flagging and they really need something new to spice it up. plus the pay will be enough for dream to finance like 10 of his own ridiculous art films without having to rely on producers for money. and dream really is about to get cut off for being a complete insufferable asshole so he takes the gig. it kind of feels like prison though.

anyway, he gets to work trying to make this shitty boring film at least marginally less shitty and boring. he doesn't have a lot of leeway -- a lot of the story is locked in, half the cast is set from prior installments etc. dream immediately regrets taking this job, he'd rather die in actual prison than work on this mindnumbing piece of trash. it feels like it's taking an eternity and who could possibly stand an eternity of this???

well. enter hob, whose agent managed to snag him a 2nd-lead sort of role in this thing. it's not QUITE the reinvention he was going for but the pay and exposure are really good -- and even if they weren't, the moment hob saw that dream was attached he was immediately on board.

cue dream tearing his fucking hair out and basically being a complete menace and diva on set -- no that wasn't good, yes we have to do a 57th take, oh my god this dialogue is horrible give me that shitty script i'm writing my own thing, what do you mean the plot is linear???, wait there are how many cgi aliens????? i'm going to kill myself -- and Hob, pretty much Just Happy To Be There as always, takes one look at this beautiful dramatic emo asshole and is like oh. yes. i don't know what i'm saying yes to, but i'm saying yes. just immediately enamored with this bitch against all logic, he's like i've seen all your films i know how your mind works you brilliant nihilistic mess of a person. i'm on board. let's go.

first scene that hob's in dream is once again ranting about the atrocious script, which he did not write and is hardly allowed to change -- or, every change he makes is too weird and the studio keeps nixing it. everyone keeps sighing and being like oh my god can we please just shoot i wanna go home, meanwhile hob's like alright then. let's workshop it. and dream's just like. what. you aren't just gonna tell me to shut up? and hob's like no, youre right, this script is trash, but i know you're just going to write something really weird and psychedelic that they won't let you shoot. and dream's like you dare to speak to me that way??? and hob just puts his hands on his hips and is like listen, i actually know more about this sort of general audience family film thing than you do, mister arthouse, so are you going to work with me or not? and dream's just like what... is happening... because usually people who try to 'handle' him either just cave to his every demand like wimps, or just fight him on everything to 'prove' that they're in control, and hob is just kind of... not doing either of those? anyway dream doesn't know what to do with him.

so they workshop it. turns out hob actually DOES know how these sort of general audience all-follow-the-same-three-act-structure films work and how to improve things within those confines, and also he understands what like, normal people like, you know, casual feel good movies, not everything has to be a mindbender, jesus. so they bounce ideas off each other for like 3 hours until they finally get something that's okay enough that dream no longer wants to fling himself into the sun. meanwhile everyone on set is staring at them like 👀. then dream is like come back to my trailer we are rewriting the other 116 pages of this script right NOW. what else is hob supposed to do but follow.

then hob becomes the designated Dream Handler on set. dream starts using him as his barometer for what 'normal people' would like because he does not understand that at all. ("hob, will 'people' accept this?" "well considering youre spinning the camera around on a string i'm gonna go out on a limb and say no"). dream becomes kind of obsessed with him because his life is so like, normal, and he's okay with it?? he doesn't find existence to be an insufferable prison from which there is no escape?? and hob is like aw i know you're such a tortured artistic soul *pats him on the head*. plus, hob is actually a good actor, and he's able to put a lot of heart into even this mediocre big budget film, and kind of forces dream to confront the idea that there's more than one good type of story. that different stories serve different purposes and a straightforward happy story is okay, actually.

(and that the problem is the corporatization of the storytelling, not the story itself)

anyway the movie ends up being pretty good, dream still kind of hates it because he wasn't given full artistic license but he has to grudgingly admit that it has at least some merit. after the premiere hob is like (cheekily) so you gonna direct the sequel? and dream is like i did not write that to have a sequel. and hob's like it has a cliffhanger? and dream's like so???? and hob's like well theyre definitely gonna make a sequel. and dream's like i hate this planet. also no i'm not going to make the sequel. i'm going to fuck off to the woods and make a movie about teeth. do you want to star in it? and hob's like you're so fucking weird i'm obsessed with you i'm going to kiss you now.

so yeah, that.

#dreamling #the sandman #just chuckin aus into the void cuz who knows if i'll ever actually write them #sorry this au became insane XD #it got SO much longer and more meandering than i was aiming for i just wanted to write a little 2 paragraph summary LOL #then it grew several legs #long post #anyway dream doesn't have a 'full name' in this btw he just directs under Dream like he's beyonce or something 😂 #you can think of dream as sort of like ingmar bergman or luis bunuel #and hob is like. mark ruffalo. so you can try to imagine that dynamic if you wish XD #sort of inspired by the way art film directors keep getting roped into directing marvel and disney films for some reason?? #my writing

[true-bluesargent]

how are people deluding themselves that the six of crows spinoff could have in any way shape or form been faithful to the books. it's already so ridiculous how they were like "guys sorry shadow and bone season 2 sucks BUT if you want us to make a six of crows show that we promise will actually be good then we need renewal!!!!" like first of all why would we trust you to make a good six of crows show after this and second of all. the existence of shadow and bone netflix makes a good six of crows adaptation impossible anyway! the casting is not good (no matter how much you try to convince yourself that 30-year-old, able-bodied freddy carter is the perfect kaz brekker), and they used up all of the meaningful scenes from six of crows and crooked kingdom as surface level throwaway moments in season 2. i don't know how people can't see that the end of shadow and bone season 2 did NOT in any way set up the story ready for the ice court heist. why would inej even need to participate in the heist now? she's free she is killing slavers on a pirate ship that was her ENDING at the end of crooked kingdom. wylan and jesper are already together and happy so there's no reason for jesper to join the heist out of misplaced love and loyalty to kaz, and he could get money to pay off his gambling debts from smaller jobs in ketterdam. we already saw kaz's entire backstory and he already GOT REVENGE ON PEKKA ROLLINS. that is literally his primary motivation for the entire duology so why would he now go on a ridiculously dangerous and near-impossible heist when he got what he wanted already and the money doesn't matter to him anymore. and nina only wanted to do the heist in the first place to help get matthias out of hellgate, but if nobody else needs or wants to do anything about it what the hell would be the point. in conclusion it's good that they didn't get to make a six of crows spin off show because it would have fucking sucked! just reread the books

#anti sab #afraid to tag this kind of #got very cross while writing this and now ive calmed down #so it is a bit harsh #and also i havent reread the books in a while so i might have gotten stuff wrong about what all the crows motivations were for the heist #but i stand by my point anyway #shadow and bone #six of crows

[intoanotherworld23]

Deep Water III

Characters: Will Miller, Ben Miller, Frankie Morales, Santiago Garcia and female reader

Warnings: Impure thoughts, swear words, mention of killings and murder, lots of drinking, shooting

Summary: The Frontier men have to take you to one of their clubs, and that’s a perfect excuse to get drunk

Hearts, reblogs, and comments are greatly encouraged and appreciated! If you wish to be added to the tag list please let me know so I can add you! Thank you all so much! XOXO

Part 2 Part 4

Check out my other works on Hall Of Hunks

It was incredibly weird sitting in a room with a bunch of mobsters, and yet somehow they looked like normal everyday citizens you'd see walking along the street. They just didn't match the profiles of killers or thugs. You were pretty sure you'd hear all their stories though.

"How long am I going to be here?" They probably didn't know the answer to that anyway but you'd figure you would try and ask.

"Depends on when Will wants to let you go." You didn't like the way Benny said that though it wasn't reassuring that he would even let you go.

"Is he gonna kill me?" Whispering this time as you fiddled with your hands in your lap afraid for the answer.

"He won't kill you." Benny said as he gave you a warm smile. "We can promise you that."

"What if he gets really mad and can't control himself?" You threw on their face as they looked at each other.

"He's not going to kill you babe." Bennys voice a little more stern this time.

"Unless you give him reason to kill you he won't." Frankie leaned forward elbows on his knees hands clasped in front of him.

Not liking the way that he said that at all. What reason would you have to give him to justify him killing you? Surely he wouldn't kill you for simply trying to escape. Everyone who is held against their will or kidnapped tries to escape. That would be a ridiculous reason to end your life.

Then you remembered he mentioned your father and said your last name was keeping you alive. Wondering how he knew your father and why that was so important. You weren't going to stop asking until you got a legit answer.

"He said my last name was keeping me alive." Throwing those words back at them crossing your arms over your chest. "What did he mean by that?"

"We can't tell you that darlin." Benny shrugged his shoulders a sympathetic look on his face. "That's Will's department and should be the one to explain."

"That's bull shit." Raising your voice a little frustrated beyond belief that nobody was telling you anything. "I just don't understand why you guys can't tell me anything."

"Don't worry he'll tell you." Santi responded with a nod. "When the time is right."

Why does the time need to be right? That was such a bull shit answer and reason as to why nobody could tell you, and why it specifically had to be Will. Maybe he knew your father in some way, and something happened between them.

Gasping internally at the thought of Will or his men having to do something with your family's death. If that was the case you'd be more than happy to put a bullet in each of their brains. Then again if they wanted the family dead they would have killed you too.

"So you guys kill people?" Asking no one in particular Santi and Frankie looked at each other for a moment.

"Only if we have to." Benny answered for them making you glance over at him.

"Just like that guy in the alley?" They could sense the cynical tone in your voice making them grin that you weren't as afraid of them as they'd like.

"He knew what the consequences were for dealing with us." Santi responded anyway turning your attention to him.

"So he owed you guys money." You leaned back in the chair trying to figure out the reason they killed him. "And because he didn't have it you guys killed him?"

"Yes." This time Santi looked a little ashamed answering your question.

"Technically Ironhead killed him." Frankie spoke up in defense the corner of your lip twitching. "Just sayin."

Maybe it was just you but Frankie didn't seem like the type of guy to be involved in something like this. He seemed more like the type of guy to be afraid of guys like them. Although you shouldn't judge a book by its cover cause he probably has killed more people than what you'd expect.

"How did Ironhead or whatever become the head guy?" Asking as you looked between the three of them.

"That's a story for another time." Wills voice rang as he descended down the stairs your heads turning to him. "We have to go."

"Where?" Frankie asked as he stood up adjusting his shirt.

"To the club." Grabbing a gun and placing into a holder that was strapped to his hip gulping as you watched him. "Apparently someone doesn't want to cough up what they owe us."

"Is it that Russian guy?" Benny already knew who he was talking about.

"Yeah security spotted him betting money at the poker table." He scoffed loudly as he looked at his phone. "Even though he told me last week he didn't have the money yet."

"Little fucker." It surprised you to hear Frankie talking like that since he'd been so nice to you.

Which probably meant it was just another man whose life they were going to take. It made your skin crawl at the thought of hearing another man beg for his life only to have it ripped from him. Those men they killed most likely had families to go home to. Wives and children that missed them wondering what happened to them.

If you could have avoided being caught you would have ran so quickly your legs would be on fire, and you wouldn't be in this situation. Hearing them justify what they did to other people made you sick to your stomach. This wasn't how normal people should live their lives, and citizens shouldn't live in fear cause of them.

"What about her?" Benny asked pointing at you.

"She comes with us." He said like it was no big deal but your eyes went wide in shock.

"What?" Exclaiming as you stood up looking straight at him but he was refusing to meet your eyes. "Your kidding me right?"

"Will we can't take her with us man." Santi tried to reason with him.

"Yeah that's not something for her to have to watch." Frankie defended his suggestion actually making you feel better they thought about your well being.

"Yeah I'm not going." You stated but nobody was really paying attention to you.

"She's going with us and that's final." Will argued his cheeks turning red making them back up a little.

"You guys can tie me up, lock me in a room whatever." This time they all looked over at you. "But I'm not going with you."

Standing firm putting your foot down in defiance, but Will looked like he wasn't in the mood. Looking over at you finally before stomping his way over to you making you cower back a little from him.

Grabbing your arm roughly in his hand pulling you toward him making you whimper. The rest of the guys stood back not even daring to tell him what to do, but they still felt bad. The feeling of his calloused hands rubbing against your skin was burning.

"I don't have time for your pathetic whiny bitching right now." He sneered at you the veins in his neck popped out. "You are fucking going with us and that's final."

The two of you staring into each other's eyes silently daring you to say something else to piss him off. Raising an eyebrow at you and you lowered your head a little but still kept your eyes locked on his. His lips quirked up into a smirk knowing he won this battle.

It was too soon to be challenging his authority. He seemed like the type of man who didn't like to be tested, and if someone tried to outrank him it would end in blood. You needed to be smart about things, and stay alive as long as you could.

"Well what the hell am I supposed to wear?" Looking down at your clothes feeling these weren't club appropriate. "I'm not going to the club looking like this."

"She does have a point man." Santi agreed with him making you smile. "Our club has a strict dress code."

"She's going to be with us." He growled not liking his men to be agreeing with you so easily.

"Yeah she can't wear jeans to a hot nightclub." Benny stepped in as his eyes looked your body up and down giving you a wink.

"Fine." Throwing his hands up in defeat. "We have spare clothes upstairs."

"Yeah I'm not wearing clothes that your sluts left over." You argued making them all laugh leaving you confused.

"Either you wear the sluts clothes," Will spoke as he stepped closer to you, "or wear nothing at all."

"I wouldn't mind the latter though."

Your mouth about dropped to the floor with his challenging words. Surely he wouldn't make you go to a club with no clothes on they weren't complete animals. Judging by the look on his face though he wasn't playing.

Benny and Santi seemed to also like that idea as they chuckled. A part of you wanted to say wear nothing at all just to see their reaction, but you were afraid that he was dead serious on making you go naked.

"Asshole." Grumbling under your breath as this time he smiled in your defeat.

"Fish show her where the clothes are." Will ordered him as Frankie walked up to you and placed a soft hand on your lower back leading you upstairs.

As he led you to a room you saw a bed and dresser, and that was it. It looked like someone had lived in this room, but there was literally nothing in here. Frankie could see the confused look on your face.

"There are no sluts clothing here." He teased as you just rolled your eyes at him. "By the way."

"This was Yovanna's room." Frankie informed you raising an eyebrow at him wondering who she was. "She's in the hospital in a coma."

"We took all her stuff down so we didn't have to look at it." Frankie looking down at his feet noticing his eyes started to water knowing she must have meant something to him. "We left her clothes though."

"Just in case." He nudged your shoulder with a smile this time causing you to smile back at him.

"What happened to her?" Asking him hoping you weren't going to upset him in any way.

"She was shot a couple times and she just never woke up." Turning to look away from Frankie as you pictured what this woman's room probably looked like.

She was probably a very tough woman to be living with four other men, and she was also most like ridiculously gorgeous too. Or was clinically insane and hated herself so much to the point she would live this life.

Either way it seemed like her story was something he didn't want to discuss. Which most likely means none of the other guys would want to talk about it either.

"Come on let's find you something." Nodding towards the closet opening it to see it was full of all kinds of clothing. "Pretty sure you guys are the same size."

"What about this?" He held up a crop top and matching black leather skirt as you looked at him raising an eyebrow.

"Uh yeah I don't think so." Tossing that to the side he started to rummage through some more things before he settled on a black dress.

"This would look amazing on you." It was plain black with spaghetti straps and it looked really cute.

"Okay fine I'll wear that." Grabbing it from his hands as you placed it on the bed going to take your shirt off when you noticed him standing there still. "Do you mind?"

"Gotta stay here with you so you don't escape." Shrugging his shoulders with an apologetic look on his face. "I'll turn around."

Which he did keeping his back fully towards you as you quickly stripped off your other clothes, and slipped on the black dress. It was snug against your hips, and the ends of the dress went down to about your mid thigh.

The push up bra you were wearing had your cleavage nearly spilling out of the neck line. This dress felt like it was made for you, and you looked incredibly hot in it. You were wearing black boots which wouldn't have been your first choice, but it still fit with the outfit.

"Holy shit." Scratching the back of his neck as he looked your body up head to toe his whole face turning red. "You look amazing."

"Thanks." Wiping your hands down the side of the dress as you gave him a weak smile.

"Alright let's go."

Walking down the steps all three heads looked up to see you standing at the bottom of the steps like you were some kind of mythical creature. Santi had his mouth partially open in shock, while Benny licked his lips like you were something sweet. Then there was Will.

Clenching his hands into fists by his side as he tried to control his breathing. If the other guys were there he would have grabbed you so quickly and bent your over the railing. You were the best damn looking woman he has ever seen, and that dress made you look mysterious and seductive.

"God damn you look scrumptious." Benny groaned as he placed a fist up to his mouth.

"You're wearing that dress all the time." Santi agreeing with Benny as they began acting like horny teenage boys.

Looking down at your feet as all the men continued to drool over you. Frankie awkwardly coughed to snap them out of their day dreaming of what you probably looked like under neath those clothes. Looking back at him mouthing a quick thank you to him.

It made you feel good about yourself for a split second, but then you remembered where you were, and what kind of people you were surrounded by.

"Fuck let's go." Will groaned as he grabbed the keys and one by one you all headed out the door.

Will was struggling to control his hormones, and could feel himself getting hard picturing you in that dress. If the other men weren't here he'd already have you pinned against the wall with your dress bunched up around your hips, and his fingers touching you.

Shaking those vivid images from his mind of what you would look like underneath him moaning his name. He was never the type of guy to let a woman make him feel things. The other guys were most likely thinking that too.

As you piled into the car you were smushed between Benny and Frankie. Santi took his place in the drivers seat and once again Will took his seat in the passenger. You were going to have to figure out why he did that. It seemed weird he didn't want to drive.

For the first time since last night you were feeling good about yourself. You kind of felt powerful with how you made the boys act with how you dressed. Dress like that more often and you could probably walk away without a scratch. Although you were pretty positive you'd have better chance just trying to escape.

"Let's move." Will ordered as the rest of you got out to see a huge line waiting outside the club waiting to get in.

Looking at the club that had green and black lights shining down, and a neon sign that said Venom. There was multiple security guards standing outside, and once they saw your group they all stepped aside letting them by greeting each other with nods.

Guess the one good thing about being around them was getting into clubs without having to pay or wait outside with everyone else. Nobody dared to even groan either as they were let him probably knowing exactly who they were. Getting glares from the other women who looked at you with jealousy.

Walking through the doors there was strobe lights flickering all around the club. The dance floor was packed with sweating bodies, and the bar lined up with pretty woman chatting up desperate men. On another side it looked like there was gambling tables, and VIP booths. Assuming that was where they man they were looking for is.

You could feel a hand wrap around your waist looking from your side view to see that it was Will. The hand that was now applying pressure to your skin was starting to tingle. He didn't seem phased at all meanwhile you were panting and sweating by just a single touch.

"You want anything to drink?" Placing his lips almost on your ear as you all sat in a huge booth gated off from everybody else.

"Uh yeah I'll take whatever." Shouting over the music making him chuckle.

He motioned to a woman who was clearly the bottle service saying something to her as she nodded with a grin. Next thing you knew watched multiple women came heading towards the table wearing lingerie with a liquor bottle in each hand. The middle of the table had glasses, and buckets of ice along with stuff to mix in your drink if you needed it.

This was going to be your excuse to get hammered and try to forget everything that happened over the last twenty four hours. Maybe if they got drunk enough they'd forget about you, and you could walk out of here.

"Let me know if you see him." Will informed the guys who put on their laser focus.

Sitting there awkwardly as the rest of the men talked to each other looking towards the dance floor. Will's main focus was to spot the man they were looking for. Chugging back your drink as you began to make another one.

The burn felt good going down your throat. It was already taking its affect as you could feel yourself starting to loosen up. Bobbing your head along to the beat, and swaying your body back and forth catching the attention of Will.

"Found him." You heard him shout over to Benny who nodded placing his drink down.

"Pope come with us." Bradley ordered as he stood up. "Fish stay with her don't let her out of your sight."

"What if I have to pee?" If it wasn't for the alcohol in your system you wouldn't have said that, but it amused everyone but Will.

"Guess you'll have to ruin that dress then." He had an answer for everything huffing as he turned around leaving the booth.

Frankie nodded as he scooted closer to you watching the three men disappear walking towards the mini casino area. Frankie already knew what was about to probably go down, meanwhile you had a very vague idea what was about to happen.

"You might want to slow down." He suggested as he watched you pouring yourself another glass of straight liquor. "We have all night."

"I don't care I need this." Shaking your glass back and forth as you tossed it back with no problem this time.

"The hangover won't be worth it." He was trying to reason with you but you didn't want to hear it.

"Whatever." None of them had a right to tell you how you should feel or react to things.

"You'll still be with us tomorrow." This time he was being realistic and wanted you to realize there was no getting out of this no matter what you did or said.

"You think I don't know that." Snapping at him feeling your blood boiling. "Why the fuck do you think I'm trying to get drunk?"

"Alright okay you've made your point." Putting his hands up in surrender not wanting to make you anymore angry.

You really didn't want to yell at Frankie like that, but with all these emotions you were feeling you couldn't help it. One minute they could be doing everything to keep you alive, and the next then having you dig your own grave while they shoot you in the head.

There was no way you'd still be here with them if your father was alive. He'd have them all arrested or shot the minute they put their hands on you. Wishing now that he was still alive so you could be back in the comfort of your own house and bed.

"He's not all bad you know." You didn't need to hear a name to know who he was talking about.

"You have to say that he's your boss." Shaking your head at him not in the mood to hear his excuses for him.

"Actually I'm saying that cause he's not just my boss but my friend." Looking over at Frankie this time with a defiant look on your face.

"Could have fooled me." Cocking your head to the side as you poured yourself another shot.

"He really isn't." Scoffing at him as you looked over to the gambling tables unable to see them. "Once you get to know him at least."

"I don't want to get to know him." Before Frankie could say anything shots rang out in the club making everyone scream.

Rough hands grabbing you as he pulled you into him and shielding you from any bullets. Your body was frozen and you felt the full weight of terror strike your body. Trying not to cry as the possibility of death floated in your mind.

You've been around guns before and heard them go off, but it was never in a public place where you knew dangerous men were. In that moment all you wanted was your family, and to hold them and have them tell you everything was going to be alright.

Wondering who was firing and who was hit? Watching as the patrons scattered like little bugs that felt danger, and didn't want to be in the cross hairs of whoever was firing.

"Fucking get her." Was all you heard before someone else grabbed you.

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