piratefishmama

[piratefishmama]

I just got back online after taking time off to rest and relax, checked your blog and saw your post about not answering certain asks anymore and I was very confused because j thought it was somehow related to the eggs and I thought "damn no more egg gang? How is that insensi- OH its about headcanons oh ok"

Egg anons are ALWAYS welcome lmao, the asks were about ethnic origin headcanons and I just dont want to upset anyone because i literally do not know about different cultures and stuff so i'd rather not answer asks about them lmao.

Culturally i am... uncultured lmao, and i'm not about to promise to look it up, because i know i wont. I'll get distracted by something shiny and that'll be that.

so i'll just veto those asks, and have that be that.

Hope you're well rested and ready to get back into doomscrolling through tumblr though!!

#pirateanswers #listen. i know i could better myself by looking it up #but... even if i said i would do that #i know that ultimately i will not do that #so i'll just skip the lie and say i just wont do that lmao

[piratefishmama]

Every time I cook an egg I think of you and your egg army

GOOD. First we invade tumblr, now we're in your brain forever.

#pirateanswers #egg anons

[piratefishmama]

Steve getting Eddie these as a christmas gag gift

Eddie loves them.

#steddie #shitpost

[piratefishmama]

I'm not answering any more of those types of asks, I do not know enough about those things to broach those topics without potentially offending someone.

I'm not here to offend anyone.

I will simply delete them if they appear.

Religious beliefs, ethnic groups, they're not my wheelhouse. I'm an atheist white girl from a not very diverse part of Britain.

I'll research if it pertains to an interest or a canonical factor of a character, but I do not have to abide by someone else's headcanons if i dont want to, and I won't.

#important

[piratefishmama]

Do other writers ever get this like, hyper-specific dialogue exchange drop into their brains and you know exactly where these character are standing and what they’re doing and how they’re saying these words but that’s all you get. You don’t have much other context and this specific moment that exists only at this time in your headspace??

#yes #hence the silly little prompt ideas #:D

[piratefishmama]

#WEATHER #IT WOULD /ALWAYS/ SNOW.

[piratefishmama]

Steddie's daughter packing a couple of her barbies into Eddie's luggage one time just before he was set to go on a short tour because she didn't want him to feel lonely while away from home

and so Eddie sends Steve pictures like this captioned "we gettin craaaaaaaazy in the bus tonight!"

#steddie #shitpost #they're girl dads ur honor #baby girl gets child safe photos of Barbie enjoying back stage and hanging out with the band #Metal Barbie #Gareth makes her a little battle vest #daughter demands a matching one when they get home

[piratefishmama]

have we flipped it around and done Eddie becoming a roadie for Big Star™️ Steve Harrington as a way to get into the industry yet?

#steddie #prompt ideas

[piratefishmama]

After The Mechanical Bull Incident, i feel like Steve should take his friends to the ranch, just so they can see it in real life with a real bull.

and so Eddie can have a full blown mental crash over Steve in chaps riding a very angry bull.

#steddie #maybe they can discover things at the ranch #maybe Steve's uncle is a gruff old bisexual man that leaves Eddie thinkin /thoughts/ #just chillin on his ranch in Texas #so it's a safe space #within a not so very safe State

[piratefishmama]

Your puppies are adorable and i love them

My lil old man is a lil pooped now ehe, Hope has escaped downstairs to be a menace elsewhere.

They're very much deserving of all the love though, thank u ❤️❤️

#pirateanswers #pirates puppers

[piratefishmama]

can you give your puppies a smooch for me pls ❤️

OF COURSE I CAN

Smooches applied. They thank u kindly ❤️❤️

#pirateanswers #pirates puppers

[piratefishmama]

Long shot, but my brother, who fun story, had BOTH lungs collapsed thanks to a motorbike accident a few years back, is doing a half marathon in September for prostate cancer, something his missus' father is suffering from.

If anyone can donate anything, anything at all, it'd be amazing, and I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks!

#non fandom #i realize i could potentially be doxing myself here #but we dont share last names lmao #i could be anyone whee

[piratefishmama]

I couldn’t resist!

SCREAMING, this has to be AI generated

an if it is, god i wish i could be mad but this is hilarious.

#pirateanswers #Egg shenanigans #WE DONT CONDONE AI IN THIS HOUSE #but this is fuckin hilarious

[piratefishmama]

It was the competition that got him up there. That pesky mechanical beast set to the side of a dimly lit club buried in some backstreet of Indy.

He knew where he was. Knew what it’d look like, knew he wasn’t there to make a scene or even be seen, he was there as moral support.

He was there as the one actual sexually active human being of their terrible trio, be it totally straight sexual action or not, he was the only one sexually active, and thus… the guardian and guide for the night.

He was there as moral support, and only moral support.

He’d dressed like himself, hadn’t put much effort in at all, he’d only done his hair, nothing else. He wore his standard jeans, a striped polo, and some sneakers, he hadn’t TRIEDvery hard. It wasn’t about him. It was about them.

Eddie and Robin, his two fruitloops.

He was SUPPOSED to be wing manning for them. ‘Safe Golden Retriever Energy’ they’d called it, or Eddie had called it, Robin chiming in telling him he should put the energy to good use and go retrieve them some babes.

All the energy in the world couldn’t help those two though, he’d gotten at least three people to speak to them each and… and well…

Robin seemed to be the queen of run on sentences leaving even the most interested of lesbians eyes glazed over and confused, and Eddie had… well… Eddie kept freezing up.

He was like some kind of opossum, they all knew he could very convincingly play dead but this was just ridiculous.

Anyway, back to the mechanical bull that’d drawn Steve’s own eyes. It sat there, a challenge to anyone who dared mount it, and a few had, none lasting longer than half a minute. It was a beast. No easy mode to be seen on that thing.

He shouldn’t. that was the thing. He shouldn’t. Because well… he wasn’t supposed to be drawing attention to himself. He wasn’t the one looking to score! He’d scored! Many times! With many people! It was Eddie and Robin’s turns! But he was bored, and he was tired of listening to Eddie trying to make being a dungeon master sound hot.

Like. Maybe if they misunderstood what kind of dungeon master, but no, he couldn’t even let them misunderstand, going on to brag about his dice collection as if he really wanted to pile drive that dying conversation into an early grave.

Christ. How did anyone ever think that idiot was a serial killer?

Like. Admittedly, Steve had to say it was ridiculously charming when you got to know him, but definitely not a solid topic of conversation if you wanted a wham bam thanks man in the gents bathrooms if you caught his drift.

He needed a break from the disaster duo, needed something to get his blood pumping, wake him up, rouse his spirits, get him raring to go because CLEARLY he needed an energy pick-me-up if he wanted to get those two anywhere near someone else’s genitals any time soon.

Maybe he could have picked alcohol instead. Grab another drink, down it, and continue his pointless efforts, but as previously stated, it was the competition that had Steve Harrington saying fuck it and grabbing a cowboy hat from atop the head of the closest twunk (some tan, lean little thing with too much height and firm muscle to be a twink), before mounting that beast.

The little “Five bucks says you wouldn’t last two seconds on that thing, Steeeeve” from Eddie, as if he hadn’t just struck out by asking a potential lay if he wanted to see a magic trick. It might have worked had the magic trick not been a bouquet of fabric flowers that’d been up his sleeve for… honestly god knows how long.

And if one of them hadn’t flown loose in the surprise reveal and poked the guy in the eye.

Steve chose not to think about how that would have totally worked on him, Eddie was charming in his own stupid way, but you had to KNOW HIM first. But Steve was straight so. It didn’t matter how charming Eddie was.

The challenge. Back to the challenge.

Steve had an ace in the hole. A phrase that’d probably make at least a few of the guys in that bar laugh, maybe ask him what else he had in that hole. Cause. Y’know. Queer bar. Steve knew his audience. Years of hunting monsters helped him a lot with just going with the flow, accepting, and adapting to his environment, at least this one was full of fun loving and friendly people, not monsters.

His ace… was that he’d done it before.

Many times actually.

On a real bull.

The machine kicked up, whirred to life beneath him.

One hand on the rein, the other on his hat, he had eyes on him.

So many eyes. He was good at that. He’d always been good at that. No matter how plainly he’d dressed, no matter how hard he’d tried to just blend in, he couldn’t, it wasn’t in his skill set to just blend with a crowd, to be invisible. The cheering kicked up as his hips swerved, moved, rolled with the bulls movements, its harsh jerk and spin to throw him off. He knew when to hold on, when to lock his legs, when to loosen up and roll with its heaving throws.

He wouldn’t even be sweating it, only the harsh coloured spotlights overhead had him warm, had sweat on his brow, beads trailing down his cheeks to his jaw, his focus was on that bull.

A rush, his heart beating fast, grip iron tight, body an adaptive force to be reckoned with, he’d held onto a fucking Demodragon at the end of all that chaos, held on tight and kept it busy while it did everything to buck him off, but even if he hadn’t done that, he’d still bested a real bull too.

His uncle had a mean one over at his ranch in Texas. A mechanical beast was no match for him an everyone knew it.

He had it beat. It bowed to his prowess, submitting in defeat. He hopped off a champion, chest heaving in exertion, sweat on his brow a confident smile on his lips, the most wanted man in the room with enough numbers and flirty comments being thrown his way to prove it. He probably ought to think about why that thrilled him, why it lit a fire in his gut. Being wanted by so many men… he wasn’t going to think too hard just yet though.

He walked through the gathered crowd anyway, after pocketing numbers and demurely rejecting come-ons and flirtations, to claim the five bucks Eddie had wagered. Then he used his index finger under Eddie’s chin to pop his jaw dropped mouth closed, popped the hat onto his head, and didn’t have to pay for a single drink for the rest of the night.

At least he’d tried to make the night work for them before claiming it for himself.

He wasn’t a miracle worker for Christ sake.

Eddie and Robin taking Steve as their 'token golden retriever straight friend' to a queer bar in indy only it has a rodeo bull and subsequently Steve ends up going home with literally almost every single phone number in that place cause

"I got an uncle with a ranch over in Texas, didnt I tell you that Robbie?"

#pre-steddie #Steve needs to THINK abt why its all so fun to him #why he fits so nicely #he'll do that later lmao #ficlet #shenanigans #I FELT INSPIRED TO WRITE

[piratefishmama]

egg gang egg gang.

i get real sad whenever people talk about runny yolked eggs because while the flavor is great, the 'tism disagrees with the l i q u i d. ive been cursed. however i do have a boiled egg tip for anyone else who gets this! if you have an egg boiler, put a veeery small amount less water (like. 1/6th below the line per egg- 6 eggs becomes water for 5) than needed for hardboiled eggs, you'll get it solid but it'll still be soft flavored! this can very depending on brand probably. if you don't - take half a minute off hardboiled time to start and fiddle with it until you get your perfect taste-texture ratio.

OH NOOO, MY TISM IS THE OPPOSITE!! i C A N N O T WITH HARDBOILED EGGS.

i have to either sacrifice them to the puppers, put them in some kind of mix like egg mayo, or Macgyver something, otherwise the taste is SJDHFVASJYDFVAJHSDGVFAJHSGVEUGGHHH, the tastebuds say

NO.

This is a lovely tip for anyone with your unfortunate tism side effect though, enjoy your hardboiled eggies everyone!!

#pirateanswers #egg anons

[piratefishmama]

I fucking hate when people say stuff like this. Especially when it's on a generally good post with valuable information. On the one hand I want to share that information because it could genuinely help someone; on the other, I don't want to spread this type of guilt-tripping and shaming and potentially trigger someone else like me. It's a lose-lose situation. No matter what I do, I am going to feel guilty. No matter what I do, I will feel like a terrible person. It sucks and I just wish people would stop doing this. I know it's shocking, but it is actually possible to make an important and useful post without guilting everyone that sees it into sharing.

#this is why i rarely send chain asks #or reblog things about 'supporting' things #like bitch i'll support in my own way #and i'm not sending your asks! #i'm wired to be stubborn

[piratefishmama]

Eddie and Robin taking Steve as their 'token golden retriever straight friend' to a queer bar in indy only it has a rodeo bull and subsequently Steve ends up going home with literally almost every single phone number in that place cause

"I got an uncle with a ranch over in Texas, didnt I tell you that Robbie?"

#he even gets a few numbers from Lesbians #for purely educational reasons #as in lesbians demanding he teach them his ways #Steve Harrington #they swear to never take him anywhere ever again