#it’s never gonna be fair

[pierregaslays]

:(

#i literally feel VIOLENTLY ill at the fact the hospital handled my mum’s passing so badly that her funeral is exactly ONE MONTH after it #i’ll forever be furious and angry and hurt and traumatised by the way they handled it #like A MONTH #it should not be happening this long after #and it’s her birthday on sunday so maybe i’m just feeling ten times worse because of that #but it’s not fair #it’s never gonna be fair #why the FUCK did she get taken from me like this #and then having to be the only one who knew about her funeral plans bc she only told me #and then everybody including my dad tells me how strong i am #IM NOT STRONG!!?!!?!??!? #i’m a girl who needs her mama. i’m just a girl who is so lost and confused and needs her mama #i literally want 2 die #tw death #i turned my tv off and immediately started crying bc i felt like the worst person in the world #did i not love her enough #should i have been better to get #*her #idk i just want her to know i adored her #and i need to hear her voice and get a hug #one of the last things she said to me was ‘i love you more’ well i love you most so how about that #tw grief #i am never getting over losing her #please . feel free to let me rant i just feel like i can’t talk to my dad or family bc like idk . #i always talked to my mum about my emotions and well! that can’t happen anymore lmfao 😭 #i just need a place to vent the HELL out of my feelings bc i am not going back to therapy

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

[aquilaofarkham]

this line hits a lot harder especially when you view laios as having autism...

#aquila talks #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #laios touden #laios dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #never have i come across another character with this much ''omg hes literally me'' energies oof #and chilchuck was making a fair point!! but an autistic person hearing that is automatically gonna go ''... oh''

[beansnpeets]

Thinking about human behaviour compared to animal behaviour again.

It's funny to hear people (the older gens) complaining that "kids these days are lazy, they don't wanna work, etc." What do we get for busting our asses? There is no reward. Many will never own homes. Many are unemployed, trying to find work, and nobody will hire them because they don't have a million years experience and a masters degree OR they want people to work for minimum wage??? People are giving up because there is no reward. Why would we do all this for nothing?

Same as a dog that won't recall when you haven't reinforced it with a reward. Your dog isn't going to do what you tell it to if there is no incentive. No, your dog SHOULDN'T listen just because you're boss and it should respect you. That isn't how it works. They don't think that way. And honestly neither do people.

When we went hiking Sprocket wasn't always taking treats gently from me when I recalled her or she checked in and I rewarded and my one friend told me to stop giving her treats. I told him I won't work for free so why should she. And he said "I do things for free all the time because I want to do them," and I didn't say it then, but I wish I had, but if you like doing it, that's the incentive. It's a self-rewarding behaviour. Just like anything else a dog does, like chasing a squirrel or sniffing things or getting into the trash. Heeling instead of going off to sniff stuff or recalling off of something they want to chase is something you have to reinforce. You have to give them something better so they make the choice you want them to make. They won't make it just because they *respect* you. They won't willingly recall off of exciting prey out of RESPECT. You need to give them a tangible reward for that. You cannot possibly expect your dog to listen just because and then punish them for disobeying you.

Yeah, Sprocket bit my fingers a couple times. The one time pretty hard. But she was excited. She knows how to take gently and I reminded her and she tried very hard to be gentle most of the time. I wasn't going to stop rewarding her for checking in with me and recalling while we were off leash hiking in the woods. I want her to know that coming back to me is good and in the event of an emergency I would like her to not blow me off.

#barkin up some trees #personal #the way my friends train their dog is not the way I would ever train a dog #in fairness he isnt food or toy motivated #and i dont have issues with ecollars #but they dont actually reward him for anything really #praise but little to nothing else #like yeah of course he is gonna blow you off to jump in the lake #lake is more rewarding than recalling to you when you have nothing to offer him in return #the way they recall him is that he has to come to them and then give a hand boop #and if he doesn't make contact they keep asking him until he does it #and then no reward #other than praise #which he doesnt seem to really care that much about #idk it just doesnt feel right the way they train him and i dont take advice from them on training #they also basically never have him on a leash even tho it is required by law in town #after the hike we went to the lodge restaurant and luckily we had an extra lead in the truck #otherwise they hadnt even brought one along so they were gonna leave him in their car while we ate #idk like i love my friends and they are nice people but jesus christ

[rocketbirdie]

everything's gonna be alright, cloudy-skies

#SIGH....... #never gonna get over these two huh #ffvii #zack fair #cloud strife #zakkura #my art <3

[camplease]

almost didn’t add pyrrha and offered to make a follow up poll to pit the winner against her because i already knew it was gonna be a pyrrha sweep. but you know what maybe i’m wrong let’s see

also some of these feel like obviously wrong answers to me but my curiosity usually wins out over reason

#cytherea judith and wake give me the vibes of people who have never personally wielded a strap so #the locked tomb #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #nona the ninth #gideon nav #harrowhark nonagesimus #ianthe tridentarius #coronabeth tridentarius #camilla hect #pyrrha dve #alecto the ninth #also i just know ianthe and pash are like. remarkably bad but i also know they’re gonna get at least some votes #originally i said harrow should probably be near the top though not number one however #people have pointed out how the necro lack of stamina would hinder her and yeah fair HOWEVER #there’s gotta be something she can do with bones and of course sheer goddamn determination #not because i paticularly want that i just feel in my heart that it’s true and that it’s gonna be slept on

[kakushigotofanclub]

I hate when people call Kyojuro weak for dying to Akaza.

It’s like “lol this 20-year-old human man got killed by the fourth most powerful demon on the planet that’s been gaining more power for thousands and thousands of years. Said 20-year-old man sustained what he was well aware was a fatal injury but he kept fighting up until his very last dying breath in order to ensure the survival of every other human there until the demon had no choice but to run away, which was very difficult for him to do because he punched the 20-year-old human man through the chest and the 20-year-old human man controlled his breathing so he literally trapped him there so the demon could not free his arm but yeah no the 20-year-old human man is such a loser for dying to that guy even though there were NO other casualties and he saved EVERYONE there”

Like shut up. Shut the fuck up do you hear yourself 😭

#the vast majority of the fandom is well aware of this and gives kyojuro the respect he deserves #but i’ve seen at least 2 people with this take. and i don’t understand how they reached this conclusion 😭 #this goes for any other hashira too #oh my god of COURSE they’re gonna have trouble beating upper moons #it’s NEVER a fair fight! #they are at SO many disadvantages #anyway if you call any of the hashira weak i’m going to fistfight you #or better yet #set you up with an upper moon so you can fight them and prove what a piece of cake it is #🙄 #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #hashira #rengoku kyojuro #kyojuro rengoku #akaza

[kaltacore]

no but essek's abnormal behaviours in the last arc and especially in episode 140 are my roman empire. which is ironic because aeor is something of a roman empire itself. but in all seriousness, it was the episode that made me realise i love essek and his development so much and it kinda summarised it even before caleb's epilogue.

and i mean the "it's not fair" scene specifically. it's like, an epitome of his whole character progression from a person who put An Objectively Important Goal above all else without hesitation to someone who can't help but care for people around even more than his goal, no matter how big and relevant it is.

the mighty nein - and he alongside them - pretty much saved the world and freed an ancient city from thousand-year-long suffering. they defeated nine extremely powerful menacing entities who managed to stay out of everyone's sight for years and were so close to achieving their goal and dooming exandria in the process. they did the impossible and became heroes and somehow, they survived, even though they had bidden farewells a couple of hours ago because they had already understood what they had been facing. and nevertheless. they made it.

and none of them was celebrating.

mighty nein are basically essek's only friends. he knew them to be very unusual people, to put it lightly, loud and stubborn and completely inescapable once they consider you to be one of their own. and they showed him so much kindness and put so much faith in him, they were here playing the most atrocious music ever and digging clay in his backyard for a spell they invented just to help one of theirs and asking him if he could bring them pastries the day after they found out he was lying to them and had started a war. they were chaotic and weird and sometimes unbearable but most importantly they were carrying so much hope with them all this time - a hope they could end the war, a hope they could stop the angel of irons cult, a hope they could get better, a hope he could get better, and now, finally, that they could save their lost friend.

and that hope shattered, just like that, the moments after they'd already made the impossible. they saved so many souls - and then could not get back just that one.

for essek "my intentions were never good they were important" thelyss it just. shouldn't have mattered. they won. it could have been worse. people die and when they die they rarely come back. they should've been happy everyone else barely made it alive.

but for some reason, mighty nein being so defeated after they saved the world exposed him to that overwhelming feeling of injustice and unfairness. and i mean, there were many things essek considered to be unfair, but when i watched his first appearance and his interactions with mighty nein later on til their reunion in aeor arc, i wouldn't dare to guess that one of the things on that list would be something that personal. and personal not even to him.

the thing is, essek didn't even know who that guy was. why mighty nein cared about him so much. he had an idea, i guess, that he was their friend once, or someone in that body was. it was also a person who wanted to unleash a terrifying horrific aberration onto the material plane. it was a person very dedicated to killing essek and his friends - and they still didn't take any pleasure in fighting him. essek didn't feel strongly about lucien or molly, because he never knew them.

i don't think he mourned his death and failed resurrection. he mourned mighty nein's hope, the one they put in him when they had no reason to, the one they offered yasha in the cathedral and the one they kept after the spell for veth failed and the one they carried til the very end because they wanted it to reach molly. they had saved people with this hope. they had saved nations. they had saved the world. but they ended up feeling like it hadn't even been worth anything.

how desperate would it feel, witnessing people who for some reason always saw good in you when they absolutely shouldn't, who made literal miracles out of nothing, who ended wars and fought gods and tricked the hags and freed cities from horrors beyond anyone's comprehension purely because they thought it was the right thing to do and also loved their friends this much, silently crying over a dead body they couldn't bring back to life? how desperate would it feel to realise that with all your knowledge about time you dedicated your life to and threw away any principles for, you can't undo this? no one can. some things are left to fate alone and this time it wasn't kind to them. no matter how much good they did, they still got slapped in the face.

and it was, i think, such a genuine moment of empathy. like, essek is the character who prefers to put up a facade and act distant and self-composed but this time he just. walked away unable to watch this. the could only say to fjord that it wasn't fair. even when he was caught off guard in nicodranas he was able to explain himself and his motives to an extent even though he was a nervous wreck whose extra important plan went to hell the second the only people he cared about appeared. this time he had nothing to elaborate on. it just wasn't fair. it wasn't fair his friends didn't get what they wanted the most. it wasn't fair he couldn't do anything to make it right.

it is such a sad and beautiful and even cathartic scene because it is about person who started a war that destroyed so many lives - and then met this ragtag group of weirdos who saw a lonely stand-offish guy and said "hey, let's be friends!" and didn't even wait for him to answer. he saw them being serious and calculated and he saw them being ridiculous and extremely stupid, he saw their mistrust to outsiders and their loyalty to each other, he made spells with them and paid a visit to their hot tub, he ate their stale pastries and drank their hot chocolate mixed with whiskey, he was welcomed amongst them and in their wonderful home, both in xhorhas before they even found out what he had done and in the tower when they already knew - and then, he saw them mourning their loss, defeated and helpless, and he, a person who believed there were things more important than whole nations, let alone just one life, couldn't help but share the pain they felt. a pure display of compassion from someone who detached himself from it, who didn't believe he could grow into a better person capable of it again, but became one nonetheless without even realising it

#sorry. i cannot shut up about this. this scene stuck with me the moment i saw it and i just couldn't get it out of my head #i mean. i liked essek well enough. i just got attached to other characters more. but then 'it's not fair' happened and it sealed the deal #it was just. so beautiful. so sincere. so important for a character who just started to learn how to care about people #his reaction wasn't intentional. it didn't change anything. but it showed how humane he had become. how deeply he cared #mighty nein are no joke pal #they're gonna make you feel all these unknown emotions like sympathy and love and affection even when they're incredibly painful #essek experiencing closeness and attachment in all their forms. as something beautiful and something aching. is so important to me #they saved him because they had good hearts! and these good hearts sparked so much joy around them! #but if a good heart grants you an ability to experience joy so profoundly. it makes everything else feel like that #you get it. i hope you get it. anyway e140 did so much psychic damage on me i probably will never recover #in a good way mostly <3 but yeah. yeah. it makes me feel a little insane #the mighty nein #essek thelyss #critical role

[darkfire359]

#the terror amc #polls #francis crozier #james fitzjames #cornelius hickey #cannibalism #follow up-question: #if it were possible for Crozier to eat Gibson #would doing so have been fair retaliation? #‘You ate my boyfriend so now I’m gonna eat yours!’ #like obviously Crozier would never do this logic #but would it have been reasonable if he did? #I know Hickey would totally cannibalize out of spite even if he weren’t already cannibalizing out of hunger #hmm maybe I should have included a poll option for people who think Hickey looted Fitzjames’s boots without eating him somehow #the terror #amc the terror

[oldkamelle]

Still accepting Ideas? If so, Spy asking advice on Sniper on how to tell Scout that he is his dad.

#tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #tf2 fanart #traditional art #traditional comic #pen doodles #oldart #mercs #(gently holds your hands) anon. what the fuck. /lh #this was such a behemoth of an idea cuz it raises so many questions?? #why would spy suddenly want to tell scout the truth given how he only chose to when scout was two seconds away from dying #(also. cant remember which comic this is but when spys about to drive off after scout begs him to take him as well #he only does so when scout mentions his ma so thats on my mind as well) #hes never shown like he feels the need to yknow #if spy decided to tell scout the truth why would he be asking for advice like wouldnt he want to keep it out of anyone elses business #(which fair enough wouldnt really happen given scout but eeh) #also he already did it good enough besides the cosplaying #and if spy for some reason was gonna ask for advice why would he go to sniper specifically #did i answer any of these questions in this mess? #the answer to that is the same as to 'do i have a good understanding of the characters' or 'do i have storytelling skills' #which is to say no #i also couldnt think of a way to make it funny to try and get away with that so i had to go with the more serious route so #anyway. sincerely hope its good enough anon (thumbs up)

[andy-clutterbuck]

9x01 | requested by Anonymous

#here ya go! 💕 #Rick Grimes #Michonne #Richonne #* #rg #S9 #why is rick washing his face my favorite? #the world may never know #Papa Bear 🐻💖 #💕 fuzzy daddy 💕 #still want to rub his head like it's a crystal ball and i'm a cheap ass fortune teller at a county fair #H A N D S #also his arm hair but i'm not gonna be that weird right now #that face is the actual iron throne #me loving the domestic normal stuff must be a day that ends in y

[wylinka]

The long awaited reunion from @lovelyelbowleech’s War Games, ch. 37! Took some creative liberties in the name of comedy, but i’m sure Momo’s still happy on the inside

#pic author never claimed to understand shading #im just here to fluff the fluff #avatar the last airbender #atla #fan art #fanart #my art #momo #aang #war games #all’s fair #lovelyelbowleech #would you believe i promised myself its gonna be ‚’’’’’just a sketch’’’ #then proceeded to spend 10 years on it #rip rip

[shokuto]

Very interesting how the movies didn’t have to reinvent Gwen and Miles to make their romance work. All they really did was give their relationship time and proper follow through, something that ultimately didn’t happen in the comics

#But it could 😶 #Like I think at this point it’s fair to assume there’s never gonna be a pairing for either of them that’s as iconic or notable #That page with them making out is STILL one of their most famous respectively and it came out seven years ago so like. Why fight it? #gwiles #ghostflower

[skylarbee]

miles about the possibility of tlsp3 coming out in 2024: "fat chance of that" "it's a while off that, if it happens you know, it's... yeah, unfortunately, but one day maybe"

massive thanks to @mileskanex for sharing this, full interview linked🥰

#when did he go from “it will DEFINITELY happen” and “there's GONNA be a third album” to “IF it happens“ and ”one day MAYBE“ ???????? #i wonder what happened for this change to take place #if miles has been writing again he might want do to another solo album next year; fair enough; but what's with the #“ummmm it might never happen again” vibes? #because it's been clear for yeaarrrssss that miles really wants another album (he's only been asked about 300 times) #currently cursing every single interviewer who had the chance to ask alex about tlsp3 and never doing so #because now we have no idea what he thinks about it and it's so easy for fans to go off into the direction of blaming him #and saying that it's him who doesn't want to do it #(it's fine to theorise as long as we don't think that our theories are 100% true and 100% what happened) #i guess we'll never know hahaha (i'm smiling but it ain't funny) #i wonder if those rumours from after tbhc (i think) of tlsp3 almost starting to happen but alex pulling out were true #miles kane #alex turner #tlsp #tlsp3 #milex #omb era

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

I will make your weird masochist friend call you a tsundere and beg for you to hit him

#read the tags #this is entirely my own fault #i am very aggressive and use threats in real life just like i do on here #and to be fair i kept doing it after i found out because i crave chaos #i mean the whole situation is objectively really fucking funny so here we are #tw kink mention #figured I'd better mention that just in case #adam if you did decide to make a tumblr and follow me then uhhhh #sorry lol #i'm threatening people with you now because that's just how it goes #mod lore #(i feel so weird typing that but also i think it's an objectively funny tag) #(haha. i have lore.) #lizzy is going to see this and laugh at me #my friends know about this blog if they ever check it I'm never gonna hear the end of this one #because of the tags not because of the post itself #like to be fair i did once choke him to make him shut up. in hindsight i have no idea why i thought that was a good idea

[zeb-z]

ok but the thought of the code actually glitching to break Etoiles armor hits hard though. these monsters are literally made up of code, they can glitch appearances, glitch items - of course they glitched his armor.

besides that, it's an ultimate blow to his character.

he's upheld his expectations as the islands greatest warrior, their defender. with this comes not just that responsibility, but a sort of respect for who/what he's been fighting off. the codes he's grown so used to. if he were to ever lose, he'd expect it to be from exhaustion. from being physically unable to lift himself up and fight anymore, because there would be no other way he would not stand and fight - but he loses without being given a chance to win. the code messes with Etoiles’ own player coding to unnaturally break his armor, giving a dirty death to someone who fights with duty and honor.

it wasn't fair, and that's the entire point, it was never going to be fair. like how they psychologically fucked with him using fake Pomme before, and almost won - this was never a fight to see who could win. it was a fight to ensure that he would lose. he’s reminded of something important - that he can bleed, and he can die.

this island doesn't play fair, and he can't shoulder the weight of the world on his own. a single shield will never be enough to protect a whole village. and now he's lost the actual shield, the one thing he could use to protect them all.

the loss leaves him without protection, both feeling guilty failing as the guardian of the island, and unsatisfied, because how can he say he truly got a chance to beat the challenge? there is no satisfaction in this loss, no way to come to terms with his failure, because it wasn’t done on an even playing field.

it’s hardly a consolation, knowing his loss was unnatural, unfair, because it’s a loss he could not afford. not only did he lose the shield, but he learned that there are moves that are unfair and unnatural that he can’t fight against. how’s he meant to fight something that can influence his own coding, especially without the shield that gave him the chance to fight in the first place? how’s he meant to protect the island, when he can’t protect himself?

15-1, G fuckin G

#looking directly at my ‘etoiles is a shield’ analysis. breaks down into tears screaming crying throwing up #I’m never falling asleep during an etoiles stream again btw. last time I did and woke up he got the code sword. this time he lost the shield #I’m gonna have to watch the full fight and not just clips on twt and might add more after depending on what I see but fuck man #it wasn’t admins cheating just to give him a loss. it was codes cheating to give him a loss. it was unfair and cheap and entirely done #because of that. a reminder that the island does not play fair. maybe a reminder they can’t fight alone or smth #idk I’m fucked up about it #I can’t believe he lost #mcyt #qsmp #etoiles #q!etoiles #character analysis #z speaks