the-real-list-of-ominous-threats

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

I'm going to make you realize that you changed your answers from correct to incorrect on a very important test right after you turn it in

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

I’m going to reveal to you that the person you have a crush on that you were SURE was flirting with you has a partner

#AUGH #finally I want someone NOT FICTIONAL and they have a partner :/ #oh well I’m not gonna try to steal someone’s man that’s not cool

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

I’m going to give you ideas for creative projects beyond your skill level

#pov me trying to cosplay Karl Heisenberg while he is like 6'2 and ripped and I'm the scrawniest 5'2 girl you've ever fucking seen #also me trying to make his hammer out of EVA foam #which I've never worked with before #wish me luck everyone!!

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

Curse of constant 60% maximum on all your exams no matter how hard you study. Just well enough that you think maybe you can pass if you try a little harder, just bad enough that you don’t.

#you’ll NEVER guess what I just got on my chem exam :( #I think this curse has already been put on me #:( #also no 60 is not passing at least not in my university #you need to get a c in the class to get the credits

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

I will inject a single PrPSc protein into your brain

had to google something because im too stupid but yes this is a good threat

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

i will ensure that every embarrassing post you make is somehow relevant to supernatural or homestuck and you will never stop receiving notes on it

#submission

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

I will make your posts accidentally resonate with discourse in a community you’ve never heard of, destroying the notes

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

Thanks Walmart for making me think of that :(

Also what the FUCK is this thread

I am going to eat you.

dont say that some people are into that :(

#tw vore mention #hate that I gotta tag that #this post is fucking terrible #good lord this is a disaster

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

You will NEVER experience the benefits of being a marine biologist ONLY the excel spreadsheets and the grant writing!!!

#marine biology #marine biology memes

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

I’m sentencing you to only consume 60s and 70s weight watchers recipes

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

I will make you eat every meal out of unflavored gelatin

oh god the 1950s back again

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

I am going to eat you.

dont say that some people are into that :(

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

I will unwash your car

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

I’m going to de-aww your tism

#works better if you say it out loud #before anyone comes at me I AM AUTISTIC #if it wasn’t obvious

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

I will make you allergic to salt

#British people already are

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

I will alter your brain chemistry to make you down bad for Nemesis from Resident Evil

#before anyone asks NO I AM NOT THIS IS NOT FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE #I have questionable taste in men but not THAT bad

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

I’m going to make you forget that your teacher sets weird deadlines so you think your homework is due at midnight but really it’s due at 10:30 and you don’t realize until 10:27

#posts that are much funnier if you look at the timestamp