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#it’s fitting and hilarious
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The Ancients are Gods
Just straight up Gods, one’s you can pray to, give offerings and such and maybe get a lil blessing or help from
Get nightmares?? Offer Nocturn some tea and dreams in exchange for no more nightmares, ‘man you can Have those dreams as long as I get some good, no nightmare, Rest.’
Your asshole neighbors keep raking your lawn but you need that Free Mulch for your garden next spring? Tell Overgrowth about it. 40% chance you won’t even need to give him anything, the promise of a garden will be enough for him to Smite your neighbors tool shed (and maybe their house but that ain’t your fault)
Need help juggling classes?? Phantoms literally the God of Balance & Discovery (along with Space but only aspiring astronauts call on that part of his domain) most students will give him food and Space Shit in exchange for better work/life balance skills and better understanding In classes. But if you’re really desperate or need a Big Favor… give him one a These
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sparklingthedas · 8 months
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Astarion lectures of disappointment >>>
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tinukis · 4 months
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HATERS MAD I CAN EXPERIENCE CHILDLIKE WONDER ☀️🌟‼️‼️‼️
egghead becoming animated has permanently changed me as a person
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nanaonmars · 1 month
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jason: why won’t you leave my dad alone?!
clark: because we’ve been together for 20 years jason… we have 8 kids, you included, and… we’re in love
duke, in the background: boke!
jason: i’ll find dirt on you yet. i’ve got people working on it.
clark: 🧍🏻
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ineffable-gallimaufry · 5 months
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if they made a homestuck movie:
VOICEOVER: it's coming...
*two drum beats*
JOHN EGBERT: *puts the disk for sburb into his computer* i'm in
VOICEOVER: this summer
*two drum beats*
ROSE LALONDE: *rolls eyes* john, stop goofing around
VOICEOVER: prepare to be stuck...
*two drum beats*
JADE HARLEY: *wakes up and looks around*
VOICEOVER: at home
*two drum beats*
DAVE STRIDER: *spins record* woah, this is off the wall, yo
*shitty orchestral cover of sburban jungle plays*
ROXY: but you don't understand! this game is dangerous!
*cut to dave leaving his clone behind at his quest bed*
DAVE: i can't do it... i just can't kill another me...
*bec noir appears next to alt dave*
ALT DAVE: he's right behind me isn't he
*fades to black as bec noir slashes a sword at alt dave's neck*
*text on screen reads "ASCEND"*
*cut to rose in her shed*
JOHN: rose, the meteor's gonna hit!!
ROSE: *grabs computer* *rolls eyes*
*text on screen reads "DESCEND"*
*cut to scenes of the war on the chess field*
*text on screen reads "RISE UP"*
*cut to john, running out of his kitchen*
JOHN: these imps are everywhere!!
*text on screen reads "ABSCOND"*
ROSE: it's all over...
*cut to the various sprites being sprited*
*cut to jake kissing dirk's head*
DIRK STRIDER: *standing nearby* *coughs* awkward...
*cut to terezi and john after game over*
TEREZI: john, 1t's 4ll up to you now...
JOHN: *gasps*
*cut to john and dave hugging*
NEPETA: *grins* :33< i ship ittttt
KARKAT: *facepalm*
*cut to terezi and vriska facing off*
TEREZI: vr1ska, you c4n't do th1s!
VRISKA: watch me!
*montage of vriska doing a bunch of random and cool stuff*
VRISKA: i can do anything!!!!!!!!
*cut to grimdark rose and dave*
ROSE: to win... we're gonna have to blow up the sun
DAVE: awww snap
*text on screen reads "NIC CAGE"*
JOHN: and i mean, of COURSE con air is the best movie ever!! what other movie would you even suggest
*text on screen reads "LIL NAS X"*
DAVE: man, this isn't even the best song in obama's whole rap career
*text on screen reads "AMANDLA STENBERG"*
ROSE: *rolls eyes* whatever, mom! i'm summoning cuthulu!
*text on screen reads "ZENDAYA"*
JADE: *petting bec* oh, who's the best dog! is it you?
*a bunch more celebrity names on screen*
*text on screen reads "BASED ON THE WEBCOMIC BY ANDREW HUSSIE"*
ANDREW HUSSIE: *sitting in chair* wait, am i still in this movie? do i still die?
VOICEOVER: yes
HUSSIE: oh poop
*text on screen reads "HOMESTUCK: THE MOVIE"*
JOHN: we're gonna save the world... or die trying
*quick montage of every single death scene*
DAVE: i think we're gonna die trying
JOHN: daaaaveeee
*text on screen reads "COMING THIS SUMMER"*
*cut to dave beatboxing*
KARKAT: CAN YOU SHUT UP?!
DAVE: are you gonna make me?
NEPETA: :33< ooooh—
DAVE and KARKAT in unison: DON'T SAY IT
NEPETA: :33< ship it
*they both sigh*
*cut to black*
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54625 · 14 days
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sorry this is so fucking funny. "They're really hard selling it" 😭
this is exactly what I was talking about
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friedri-ce · 5 months
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carrying them around like a cardboard cutout
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mlady-magnolia · 13 days
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Fontaine and its singular graveyard ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Part 2 of the Fontaine Graveyard Shenanigans
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bizarrelittlemew · 3 months
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OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH SEASON 2 | BLACK PETE favorite lines/moments (all of them)
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pedro-pascal · 4 months
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Does Kristen Stewart Know Her Lines from Her Most Famous Movies?
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safewavess · 5 months
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pac literally ordering for his viewers to send subs to fit after learning that when he hits 10k subs he’ll wear a maid dress lmaooo
pac: i wanna see it!
(fit tells him that it’s not a reachable goal for him)
pac: i’m sorry fit, but that is a very reachable goal
fit actually got so many subs out of that his sub count broke. the power of pac wanting to see fit in a maid dress broke his sub count.
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sakasakiii · 4 months
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some firstborn sons to start the new year two weeks after it began ✨
apologies for disappearing again,, this makes it the 4th? 5th time i've disappeared?? WILD. things have been busybusybusy but i've gotten some prior things all settled so hopefully i can get back into drawing and checking out things.... and answering asks!!!!!
obligatory extra as per tradition bc i always forget about the secondborns who arent maglor (im looking at YOU, orodreth's dad):
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Phil is getting rid of the Fit + Pac heart and is turning it into a Hardcore heart and chat immediately turns into a sea of:
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apixrl · 4 months
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i think about how tfp starscream saw a rabbit and thought it was a human at least once a day honestly
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glassedplanets · 4 months
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a few months ago giffy was like "haha hear me out, what if tattoo au" and then we blacked out and talked about nothing else for like three weeks
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 6 months
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Bingqiu ponies (Happy Birthday @Piosplayhouse!)
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