#it’s fiction idc what people write; full stop

[sadie-bug345]

greasers when they’re sick

i myself have been deathly ill for the past week so whilst i am bedridden i’m writing this🤡🙆‍♀️🤩 ANYWAYS LETS GO

ponyboy:

hates missing school solely cause my guy despises talking to teachers abt what he missed

also cause he thinks he gets super behind when guy just skipped one day of school😭

probably holes himself up in his and sodas room and when soda comes in to check on him after work it’s like PITCH black and pony is just sitting in a pile of tissues

”what do YOU want?” says pony with a voice similar to kermit the frog cause bros nose is SO stuffed up

and soda just assumes pony is in one of his moody, poetry reciting moods again and slowly exits the room, leaving only a baloney sandwich in his wake💀🤡😭

johnny:

def the type to not accept help

like he would go to school sick and the second someone brings up how his voice is screwed up he’s like 😐”what’re you sayin bout me?”

if the gang does quarantine him to a room he’d def just be able to entertain himself and prob come up with his own secret language and fictional multiverse or smth

idk he just gives the type to be fully okay with being alone for a bit but the meds he’s on make him all wacky too so it’s an interesting mix for sure

sodapop:

i’m sorry this guy has the most nastiest cough 😭

idc if he doesn’t smoke a lot he just got those mucusy coughs

other than that everyone’s having a good time, making jokes and feeling good and then soda pauses his laughter and unleashes the most rattley cough and then everyone just goes quiet and he just looks like 😃

definitely unfazed by sickness in general

until one day my guy just has the worst time and breaks downnnn🥰

we’ve all been there too esp when you’re sick and shit just goes downhill and everything sucks and you hate everything and everyone

darry:

now johnny doesn’t accept help but that’s NOTHING compared to darry

he has peak older-sibling syndrome and is just used to only helping other people

so when those people that he takes care of flip the script, my guy is just weirded outtt

like he def appreciates two trying to make him soup but he just doesn’t know how to react

goes lowk crazy with not being able to work or straighten up the house just cause he always feels like he’s gotta do SOMETHING productive with his time

dally:

i’m sorry but guy is def the type to go to school FULLY sick and either not say a word about it or complain like a lil bitch the whole time

also he totally smokes while he has a cough like soda which is so unhealthy i can’t even😭

just overall his habits and life doesn’t get upended by “some fuckass cold” (his words, not mine)

like bro please you just gotta rest sometimes😭

the gang is able to get him to stay at the curtis’ couch one day and bro just WIPES OUT

istg he’s out for like 15 hours straight in the full daytime and everyone is scared to walk past in case they wake him up

but dally is a crazy heavy sleeper so he actually gets a lot better after calming down for once🥰

two-bit:

honestly stays home from school like a normal person

except bro gets one cold and then just doesn’t show up to school for like two weeks😭

and it’s not cause he’s a wimp it’s just cause guy finds an excuse to skip out for a so called “vacation” and he rolls with it

and then he’ll just spawn back in on campus like a month later like nothing happened and everyone just expected two to take a dare too far and end up in the hospital🤡

steve:

CANT STOP WONT STOP

bro just pushes thru the pain😭

he probably takes way too much of the recommended dose of general meds (don’t do this please🧍‍♀️)

and then goes all loopy for hours straight

and people are kinda sus about it but honestly it’s steve so who is really all that surprised

LMAO THAT SOUNDS MEAN SORRY STEVE

ANYWAYSSSS i think imma post a romantic kinda sick reader x greaser thing so that’ll hopefully come out soon while im still coughing my lungs out🫶

#the outsiders #dallas winston #ponyboy curtis #johnny cade #darry curtis #the outsiders sodapop #steve randle #two bit mathews #matt dillon #sodapop curtis

[the-bjd-community-confess]

TW: Sexualization of (fictional) minors discussion/CSA mentions

Mod: Batch post 2 to help people avoid the topic if needed.

1. Idc, people who don’t dress and photograph YOSDs like children are creepy af. If you’re dressing your YOSD in lingerie that’s weird as hell and gross.

~Anonymous

2. "child sex sells" what the fuck is wrong with you? shut the fuck up. touch grass. see light. no the hell it does not. can you be fucking normal for five goddamn minutes? god just delete tumblr and get the fuck away from this and all other hobbies you are the worst sort of human being and i hope you get the help you desperately need because you are seeing child abuse in everything and that, i promise you, is a freakass problem to have. why are you like this???

~Anonymous

3. did NOT want to read the vomitous take of "ch*ld s*x sells" on the doll blog today!!!

~Anonymous

4. fandoms full of """child abuse"""

hi mod it's me again, i'm sorry in advance but this fucking topic makes me actually furious and as long as the most sheltered infants on earth continue to submit brain-dead takes on this subject, i'm going to keep showing up in your dms. CW for discussion of actual abuse, hard subjects in general, etc.

(i would put the read more here) [Mod: I hope you don't mind this format instead Anon, this confession deserves its own post but I want to shield readers from the topic if possible with the batchposting 💜]

ok but that's just it, as a fucking csa survivor, most of the "fandoms full of CSA" literally! have none of that! whatsoever! in any capacity! you shitty godforsaken little heathens call sfw romance between two fictional teenagers in a tv show incest-coded, you call grown ass-adults in animated works "child-coded" and justify that as the same as goddamn ABUSE OF REAL LIFE HUMAN BEINGS, and you doxx creators and send them death threats and clog up report lines for real life actual human victims about your fictional bullshit. you are the worst and i want you and anyone who reads this and feels offended by this description to know that you are helping no one and annoying everyone.

do you know what real victims are victimized by? not fiction. not any fiction. not inanimate objects! literally write a story about fictional children being victimized for the plot, and it will not hurt me. if it hurts you, fair! stop reading it. go outside. your Personal Discomfort is not you being abused. learn the fucking difference perhaps! it will not make me... do you have any idea how hard it is to talk about this without getting so extremely goddamn personal? do you have any idea how much it sucks to have to have this discussion over and over and over? do you realize that roughly 10 years ago everyone with a braincell agreed on this point and it's only the last decade that people have been so radicalized to think that wrongthink is real? no, of course not, because most of the people who believe that fiction and reality are 1:1 in how one affects the other have no practical experience with any of the subjects upon which they have the audacity to speak.

listen. i am not going to go into my upbringing. i am not going to tell you what it was like to be raised in a household like mine where actual abuse was genuinely normalized. all i will say is that i was raised in a culture where this sort of abuse was normal and certain types of relationships between adults and minors were considered... sanctioned by the powers that be. are you picking up what i'm laying down? do not talk to me about your good intentions. the fucking argument that fictional content, drawings and toys and all that other inconsequential shit, that it's tantamount to a crime? buddy. bestie! amigo! compadre! that's the same logic that was used to make sure my upbringing was as sheltered and controlled as possible so that the "corrupting influences" of the outside world didn't give us the "wrong ideas". like i truly don't know how you did it but you've reinvented the toxic mindset i grew up hearing! and you are completely blind to it. boggles my fucking brain.

i just want to shake the people who say this shit with a straight face. "wow so violent op maybe you're the toxic one" yeah boy i'm toxic i've been in therapy for most of my life and will continue to be until i am dead. the fucking DRAWING CARTOON PORN IS INDOCTRINATING MINORS WRITING StORIES WHERE BAD THINGS HAPPEN IS THE SAME AS HARMING A REAL HUMAN crowd are just the same religious wrongthink crowd with a more recent birth-year and a rainbow hat. "anyone can say anything online i don't believe you" cool i don't give a shit. how do you want me to prove it, doxxing myself? you wanna see the fucking recordings anon? think before you speak. first time for everything.

i like this hobby. i enjoy my dumb little dolls and their stupid little faces, i enjoy the peace in changing their style and redoing their faceups, i enjoy being able to represent a diversity of appearances, identities, to make everyone queer and slutty because i'm making up for the lost time in my life where that was not on the table for me. i do Not fucking relish seeing the braindead anti arguments creeping into this hobby and shitting up another thing that myself and other survivors would like to enjoy in peace and quiet.

so let me tell you, from the bottom of my heart, even though no one who needs to hear it will bother to listen to the words of a survivor because it goes against your superiority complex against those nasty fiction enjoyers:

shut the fuck up.

sincerely, god, everyone, and especially survivors of CSA and other abuse against minors.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #Community Confessions

[queenie-blackthorn]

this is far overdue, so heres an introduction post

• you can call me queenie, im keeping my real name anonymous • muslim (feel free to ask any questions, idm, theres no stupid questions only misinformation) • minor • my birthday is march 20th, astrology is full of shit because i am the epitome of a gemini but apparently im a pisces ??? no • she/her • poc • intp (i know way too much about mbti and not enough about other forms of typology, like socionics, enneagram, etc) • self-diagnosed autistic • my special interests include writing (either original work or fanfics) and psychology • hobbies include hyperfixating, reading, writing, listening to music, and ranting to my friends about books ive recently read

on this blog pretty much all i do is talk about my fandoms, which may include:

• riordanverse • shadowhunters • the folk of the air • the ascendance series • heartstopper • anne with an e

(its mostly the first two tho)

and then the slew of anime i watch, which ill link here

my asks are also open in case youd like to request headcanons or fanfics, but obviously i cant do it if i dont know the fandom, so please if its anything anime/manga related, i cant guarantee that ill know it, so try to include the name in the ask

i also have a side blog @queenie-says-free-palestine. dont think i need to clarify what the posts are abt

uquiz masterlist (uquizzes i made):

• assigning you an ascendance series kin • choose something about me and ill decide if i like you or not • i assign you a percy jackson kin except the questions are stupid

more to come

kinlist here

my tags:

#queenie doesnt shut up #eka asks

dni if you are:

• zionist • ableist • sexist (that counts as misogyny OR supporting #killallmen) • racist • religiophobic (including antisemitism) • xenophobic • proshipper • sexualise minors (real OR fictional. idc if you age them up)

masterlist of my writing

i do have an ao3 account, which i will link here, but i only have like two works up on there as of april 2023

i also have a wattpad account, but its just the same fics as my ao3 account

also please follow the writing blog i made with my friendsss

tagging people who deserve some love:

irl: @itadori-yujiii - sister who is always on the receiving end of my rants @tinadablackthorn - other sister, sometimes forget she exists tbh @greenmanwiththesauce - asshole friend who exists solely to make me question my existence @velversess - my parabatai ily @1tomie1 - one of my irl friends who is literally me but not really @maybecordelia - cousin but also best friend also my fangirl buddy 🫶🫶 @ada-apolog1st - frenemy 😘😘

online (all of which are very cool people w amazing taste) @aliciasfantasyxox - online-friend-in-law we have not conversed but hello @moondust-on-the-hijabi - one of the first friends i made on here :D lovely lady lin rules over EVERYTHINGGG @that-multi-fandom-hijabi - ARAB MUSLIM AROACES UNITE !!!! @nerdy-girl3791 - showed up one day n i love seeing you around yes hello @sleepy-vix - someone who likes heartstopper, bsd, sk8, thats hot people shit right there @loife1m - LOLLIPOP :DD my love you are a breath of heaven walking upon this beautiful earth STAY STRONG BABES @someonewhogotanaccount - rambling twinsies whos basically a confused n optimistic me @heartstars - MY LITTLE SISTER I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH @reyna-obsessed - my darling mini come lets be gremlins together @hijabi-desi-bookworm - STOP CALLING ME [redacted nickname] OR I SWEAR TO GOD ILL SMITE YOU (jk ily esme<33)

yea thats pretty much it, may update later idk

#intro post

[binnniebee]

Here are my interests if any of you are interested :)

I like kpop(skz, txt, ateez, enha, crvty, bts, exo, tbz, svt, idle, b999, itzy, twice and many many others)

I play tons of intsruments(electric bass, guitar, drums, flute, piano, and hopefully violin soon)

I am under the age of 18

I don't care what you refer to me as(all pronouns, king, queen, royalty, man, woman, bro literally anything is fine)

I like writing fan fiction but i'm not that great yet(better when I started)

I have a really close friend that I am often shipped with and I lowkey wouldn't mind dating him... his code name on the internet is Teddy

I like the rain, cities, woods, ocean(the coast), the sun, and when its 68 degrees Fahrenheit partly cloudy with a wind speed of 2mph.

I live in the midwest of the US and have a slight Wisconsin accent(ik fun.)

I hate snow, cold, chewing loud, loud noises, people touching me without warning and when people have an opinion they no reason for.

I'm super enclusive. Idc what you identify as, what you listen to, what you look like. Idc.

My favorite artists(jpop, kpop, western) are Nicki Minaj, Stray Kids, and Fujii Kaze

I like organizing and clothes design and crocheting

I've been a Stay(skz) for a little more than a year and have been into kpop since December 21, 2021.

I used to hate kpop and anime(I love both sm)

I dye my hair a whole(I started again in November by dying my hair orange. Its purple now and soon blue)

I stay up late into the night(EST)

I get attached easily and fall in love even easier

I collect charms and put it on my bracelet that my grandpa gave to me 3 years ago(a little while later, he died :( )

I'm introverted whos self concious(i dont text unless the other texts me first)

I tease a lot (i call myself and others losers bc I love them and slightly myself)

If Fujii Kaze wasn't my favorite jpop artist then I would probably choose Yoasobi

My wall is full of posters

I have horrible circulation with low blood pressure(This is genetic I hate it sm. stupid stars.)

If you have the time(i'm not at all forcing you), please check out my blog thingy. I spent like an hour on it and Im super proud of it.

I want to go to University of Washington(Seattle) but my grades suck. I'm trying my hardest to study.

I severly miss my old best friend that moved away sm that I text him every day. He never responds.

I'm pretty optimistic for a pessimist

I usually keep my twitter nice and happy but here is where the real shit goes down. if anyone wants me to stop, I will

I'm very much awkwad

My biases are Han Jisung(skz/main), Hongjoong(ateez), Woobin(cravity), Gyu(txt), Enhypen(Niki), Soyeon and Minnie(idle), Hobi(bts), Kai(exo), Vernon(svt), Ryujin(Itzy), Jihyo and Mina(Twice), Ollie and Jay(bp999)

I am a proud supporter of Ollie from Bp999 (VOTE FOR HIM PLSSSSS)

I read in my past times

I play some genshin

I'm a drummer in my school jazz band(I auditioned :D)

This is as much as I can think of rn... I hope you welcome me here! Today(04/03/23) is my first day on here and will never be close to last.

(why am i wording this so weirdly...)

#kpop #new #introduction #about me #txt #ateez #enhypen #bts #exo #twice #gidle #cravity #the boyz #seventeen #bp999 #itzy #music #moots pls #kpop moots

[symphonicmetal101]

Wishlist For Someone Special

Ok, so I'm feeling really sappy and just a little lonely. All my friends are boring and my family members are too young for me to take to do some stuff.

This is kind of a wishlist of things I wish I had someone to do with or look forward to doing eventually...not necessarily romantic, but I wouldn't mind if it was. (broskis, I ain't never been on a date, not even, like, a platonic one, so bear with me if it seems ridiculous)

Stargazing- lying on a blanket in an open field or in the bed of a truck, just watching the stars, pointing out constellations, and making up stories

Watching the Northern Lights- bundling up in our warmest winter clothing, grabbing a couple campchairs and hot chocolate as we watch them dance and flicker.

Laser Tag- sneaking around, just trying to one up each other, or being on the same team and still- try to one up each other😂

Paintball- a little more painful than laser tag, but still fun. Checking up on each other afterwards to make sure there aren't any really bad bruises

Graffiti- I've always liked the way it looks. I would love for someone to teach me, or for us to learn together in one of those public graffiti houses

A Willow Tree- I would love to find a weeping willow tree and climb it's branches, only to sit and read there with my loved one enjoying their company.

Just Drive- just take a roadtrip with someone I love, blasting music, laughing, singing, and snacking as we blaze down the roads. It doesn't have to be long.

Visit an Animal Sanctuary/Reserve- I find animals fascinating, but also find that sanctuaries and reserves are more educational and often more humane than zoos.

Volunteer at the Food Bank or SPCA- just general acts of service. They make me happy.

Pillow Fortress- I didn't really get to make blanket forts when I was younger, so I want to try doing something even bigger! I want to convert the couch into a cuddle palace.

Spontaneous Dancing- idk man, it just makes me really happy. My dad used to twirl and dip me when I was little, so that's probably where it started.

Cooking/Baking Together- so what if we make a bit of a mess? So what if we screw up the recipe? It doesn't matter, it was time well spent.

Cleaning Together- Growing up as an only child for ten years and then becoming the oldest means I've done chores alone for a long time. I want someone's company, maybe we'll talk, maybe we'll work in comfortable silence, or maybe we'll blast music. I don't care. I would be happy just to know I wasn't alone.

Learning One of Their Hobbies- I want to learn something they know!! Please, let me understand a little better, I just need them to be patient with me.

Forest Walks- especially in Fall. I want to walk down an old trail, listen to leaves crunch under our feet as more fall from above I want the blustery weather to give us rosy cheeks and noses by the time our walk is over.

Horseback Riding- I've done it before, but I would love to bring someone with me. You have more experience? Great! I love to see that confidence in you. You've done it a couple times? Yay, we're in the same boat! Never done it at all? That's ok! I'll do what I can to help you!

Outdoor Movie Night- we don't have drive- in theaters anywhere nearby, but give me a sheet, campchairs, and a projector? I've got us.

Indoor Movie Night- let's bundle up and cuddle together while we watch a new movie. Or maybe it's a classic. Idc.

Try New Food- let's go somewhere for lunch and pick something completely foreign...(I am not eating guinea pig again though, thanks.)

The Wharf- if one of us happens to live by the ocean, we'll be frequent visitors. Not necessarily the beach, bit on wooden planks where the salty sea air still reaches you. We can watch the boats come and go. (Fisherman's Wharf in B.C Canada is fun. There's a really good Mexican food place😂 There's a blind seal named Sammy that lives there, and you can buy a bucket of fish to feed him. Be careful though, seagulls are vicious, being pecked by one sucks...yes, I needed a bandaid and my finger was sore for a long time. Idk if it's still like that, it's been a while. Sorry, just reminiscing a bit.)

Painting- let's buy a couple canvases and paint and see what we can do! It doesn't have to resemble anything, just do what feels like you.

Splatter Painting- dear god I've wanted to try this for so long. Just full on globs of paint and flicking it towards the canvas. (I was never allowed to do it because it was seen as a waste of paint. I couldn't even do it with an old toothbrush on a small canvas😑)

Video Games!- Please teach me how to play! Video games are banned in my family. I mean, I've done Just Dance, but that's about it. Mobile games have been kept a secret...basically just teach me to play and don't make me feel bad about playing, and I'll love you forever, mkay?

Ice Cream Date- again, idk. The idea just makes me really happy, whether we're sitting in a small shop, eating and talking. Or maybe we're walking, maybe holding hands, trying to point things out to each other, but our hands are full, but there's no way we're letting go. Or maybe we're sharing a cup of ice cream on a park bench, just people watching.

Thrift Store Outfits- I want to go to a thrift store and pick out the most ridiculous outfits for each other. We don't have to go anywhere, but just humour me when we're alone by wearing whatever I found for you, and vice versa.

Writing- writing a poem, a atory, a quote, or learning calligraphy and just writing their name- I want to write something to you

Books- let's go to the library and choose a book for each other, one that neither of us have read so we can talk and ask questions, come up with theories as we continue to read.

Books pt.2- if you write me a note and give me a book telling me why it's one of your favourites, I'll melt. I'll do the same for you, and soon we'll have a few more things to talk about and enjoy together

Music!- you bet your bottom dollar I'm going to send you music that reminds me of you, and I would be overjoyed to recieve the same.

Music! Pt.2- if you happen to play, sing, or dance, let's make something beautiful together! If not, I'll teach you!

Improv/rp- just making stuff up as we go, not caring if other people hear our conversations.

Trampoline Park/Something Similar- I just want to try it. Don't care if I break my leg, I want to try it. I'll care if you break your leg though.

Plant Shopping- again, idk. Just the idea of choosing a succulent or two to take care of together sounds nice.

Dance Classes- maybe you're already an amazing dancer, I'll let you take the lead. Maybe you just know the basics like me, we can learn together. (I know how to do the basics for, like, salsa, cumbia, bachata, swing, and waltz, that's it. Please teach me more🤩)

Sewing/Knitting/Crocheting/Fabric Work- useful skill! And maybe we can make something for each other. (Spoiler alert: you're getting a pillow case, mask, or a scarf, I can't do much yet😂)

Rage House- let's just let loose! Make a mess! Yell! Doesn't matter, all of it's legit. I just want to destroy stuff.

Weird Cuddles- again, just the idea makes me happy. If you're lying down, I may as well just flop on you, right? Or maybe somehow we end up upside down. Cuddling while we read books or listen to music. Ok so maybe just cuddling but it feels weird because I'm touch-starved👌

Late Night Calls- I've never done this with anyone under happy circumstances. Could you help me change that? It would be nice to have the last thing before I go to sleep be reassurance and happiness.

Calendar/Planning- let's make a calendar together with pictures of the places we want to go one day. Let's talk to each other so we know what we both want and make sure we put it down.

Scuba Diving- this is something I've wanted to do since I was little- actually it was the first job I said I wanted. I don't want to do it as a career anymore, but I would love to try it with you.

Finding Random Things- little things that remind me of you. Maybe I was out and found a heart shaped rock. Or I heard a bird sing and managed to record it. Or maybe there was a cute keychain at the store that reminded me of you. And that would be enough to make me smile.

Ride a Double-Decker Bus- I've done it before, but the excitement that comes with the thought of riding one again makes me giddy. Just being able to see the city and people from a mobile throne😂

Bike Riding- let's explore nearby, just riding together. Maybe you have trails you want to show me. You can lead, I'll follow. Or vice versa. If we get lost at least we can laugh about it later.

Camping- lets share a tent and a campfire together, roasting smores as we laugh and tell each other stories. Maybe we'll try and sing a few songs too.

Punch Buggy- just playing the game properly will make me happy tbh. It's been 8 years of bending the rules😂

Board/Card Games- yes. I will get competitive. But that's half the fun. Also, I would like to play these properly as well lol

Museum Date- maybe somewhere local, or maybe we were driving by and decided to stop, or maybe we actually planned to go. Let's learn something new together, take some pictures.

Comfy- I didn't know what else to call it. Basically, take out, sweat pants, (messy buns), snacks, drinks, and a good show. Bonus if it's storming outside.

Rain- watching it rain, listening tonit rain, going outside and dancing or running in the rain, jumping in puddles- I want to do it all with you.

Little Gestures- little things we develop as we get to know each other, faces that we come to understand, hand movements we start to copy. Idk, I find it really cute.

Ok guys, sorry this isn't what, well, any of us were expecting. I guess this is my Valentine's Day post?? Idk. If you read it, I hope you liked it.

Feel free to put who you thought of in tags or comments, real or fiction. Or add to the list if you want. I would love to know😊 I know there's a lot of "I wants" but that's because for the first time, in a long time, I feel comfortable admitting that.

51. Mutual comfort characters

#obey me #obey me shall we date #not really blog related but oh well #valentines day

[ilikedetectives]

Hi, did you play every AC game? If yes, in term of game plays which are the easiest? For someone without much experience in games, ty!

Not every AC game, because I can handle only so much of cookie cutter games at a time. Before I say more, lemme get this out of the way first: I played the Ezio trilogy back in 2018 because Da Vinci’s Demons was cancelled and I wanted more Da Vinci content and the white and red hoodie looks cool. In other words, I didn’t play the game because it’s called Assassin’s Creed.

The AC games I played so far, by the order of which one I play first. I’ll rate gameplay by my personal preferences (because it’s the only way I know how).

Ezio’s trilogy (AC2, AC Brotherhood, AC Revelations, played in 2018): decent parkour, minimal grind (just invest in the villa and you’re a millionaire in a day or two), very story focused (perfect balance of historical and modern plots). Decent combat. The golden years of AC and I agree.

Unity (played a few months after Ezio): good parkour, medium grind (bigger map and more items to upgrade, you still get to invest in properties so it helps). Time-saver items are on sale for real money aka MTX (ew). Combat is ok, not much difference since Ezio. Historical story is meh (I don’t care for Arnold because Elise’s story is more interesting) and they completely ditched the modern plot (you think Odyssey has little modern day plot, try Unity). Buggiest AC game I encountered and I played this game 4+ yrs after launch (hold on to that thought, keep reading). Ubi spent all of their time and budget doing the interior design (which is gorgeous btw) that they have none left to fix the bugs.

Black Flag (a few months after): chasing flying papers is my favorite activity to NOT do. Grindy af (no property investment). I can’t tolerate the controls for the ship so I hate everything that involves ship in this pirate game, except for sea shanties. You’ll have more fun playing this game as a pirate than an assassin. Combat feels the same since Ezio. Other mechanics are like Unity (understandable). Modern plot is minimal, but it makes bloodline irrelevant and there’s a....soul inside a computer server that wants to possess a human body, meanwhile said soul’s husband is a maniac who has unlimited reincarnations (realism, I know). Black Flag is the gateway game that convinces me that I should stop wasting my brain cells in “what kinda bs realism is dis?”

Odyssey (a month after launch, bought solely because of Kassandra also when I heard Odyssey is set before the creed, oh fuck yea I don’t need to sit through another rehash of Creed crap or at least minimal anyway): oh gods a breath of fresh air from the old controls where you have to hold R2 whenever you want to run and my fingers hurt sfm. Climbing is the best because the protag actually moves where you want them to move. MTX (ew). Grindy but because the combat and movements are smooth, best combat so far; I don’t see Odyssey as grindy because I enjoy my time playing (also Kassandra); I platinum the game on PS4 at around 130 hrs I think, could’ve been earlier but photomode. Fun quests that I giggle whenever thinking about them (I don’t remember shit about any quests in any other AC game, but then again Kassandra). People bitch about no parkour but who parkour in the 450BCE?!?!? Full disclosure: I never cared for parkour and never will. I stop caring for modern plot after how Unity and Black Flag handled it. Playing Odyssey makes me realize that I enjoy AC games more if idgaf for the AC aspect, rather, I play for the fictional historical tourism aspect. Just ditch the AC and voila, blue sky and fresh air. Playing Odyssey also makes me realize that I want a spin-off IP that focus on the Isu so we can go full fantasy. Do I need to say how pretty Odyssey is? lol

Origins (planned to play Origins first, but Kassandra. Also, I remember Amunet from AC2, but somehow we play as a dude in Ancient Egypt, I’m not too eager to find out, despite I prefer Egyptian mythology over Greek and I’d like to thank Yu-gi-oh for that): combat is clunky, heavy, and slow, though no need to hold R2 to run so phew. Grindy af. The bow mechanics is a decade outdated (Horizon Zero Dawn came out the same year and oh boi the difference is night and day, oh yea I played HZD before Origins. I get it the bow isn’t the focus but does it have to feel like Skyrim in 2017?). I’m glad I play this game for the Ancient Egypt (which is beautifully designed *chef kiss*) aspect and no more. 

Syndicate (I play this along side of Origins, still haven’t finished it though. Literally bought the game for Evie and I nut over Victorian fashion): combat is no different from Unity. Grindy like Black Flag and Unity. Story is meh in both historical and modern plot so far. Evie is the only reason I’m still trying to play this game. At least the Helix outfits are included in the Gold edition of the game. Victorian London is gorgeous tho.

Valhalla (only care for this game because Eivor. Tbh after God of War and Hellblade, idc for another Viking game): game is buggy af, buggiest AC game I’ve played. Combat is like Origins but worse: the only saving grace is the finishing move & the bow mechanic hasn’t been improved since Origin; I honestly would rather have combat from the Ezio games over whatever-this-is. You have to toggle a button to run now, which is dumb af because I miss Origins and Odyssey automatic run. They bring parkour back (because Vikings totally dig parkour back in the Dark Ages) as well as the-character-doesn’t-move-where-you want-them-to from the older games. Chasing flying papers from black flag is back, no thx. Looting enemies is useless, but hey you get to run around to look for a key or two or THREE to get some minimal amount of materials; so imagine if 2/3 of every chest in Origins and Odyssey are locked. Oh! You have manually pick berries/food to heal, no healing potion, wtf is this half-ass RPG shit? Side quests, oh sorry World Events, aren’t tracked in an open-world game (guess who hasn’t been doing these bitches?). Grindy af. I’m wasting my time looking at the skill points interface (you have 99 lv in Odyssey, 55 in Origins, 403 power in Valhalla. A game doesn’t feel like grindy if you level up every 2 quests for 403 times, does it? lololol). The useless SP tree is so massive that I just don’t use the skills I acquire because it takes too much time to find out which buttons to push to locate the 10 skills in this 403-dot clusterfuck, but the astronomy design is beautiful (gotta give credit when it’s due). Scummy practice from Ubi: releasing “time-saver” pack AFTER reviews are published. Also, who wanna bet there will be more mtx outfits than in-game outfits? Don’t worry, Ubi makes inventory management cLEaNeR for you *hands over 8 outfits for an RPG game*. The free event bugs tf out of your already buggy event, but hey, you’ll get a free outfit that’s a reskin of what you already have, teeheee be grateful. Eivor is amazing but by the gods playing this game is a chore. Tbh I only play Valhalla if I don’t feel like playing Ghost of Tsushima that day. Lastly, why is England so yellow like it’s Ancient Egypt?!?!? And why the sunlight moves faster than Eivor’s running at full speed? Which parts of this game does realism count?!?!?!?

Unsolicited opinion: GoT is an example of how an AC game should be and how DLCs should be handled, but with Ubisoft it will never be and I’m so fucking glad that it is Sucker Punch Prod which handles feudal Japan with utmost respect and realism. See how “honor” is handled in both games and compare the writing. Ubisoft should have announced ding dong AC is dead and create a new IP, but AC is their most financially successful franchise so expect more of this MTX, I mean, grindy RPG approach with minimal narrative. 

#every time I talk about AC I need to go play ghost of tsushima to cleanse myself #ask #anon #Assassin's Creed #ac2 #ac brotherhood #ac revelations #ac unity #ac black flag #ac4 #ac syndicate #ac odyssey #ac origins #ac valhalla

[dyketubbo]

yo.... been seein too many of em in my notifs reminder that i aint want any pro shipper mfs interacting w me, nor anyone who thinks its okay or excuses them. even if its to cope w trauma i dont agree w romanticizin shit like r/pe and inc/st, if youre doin it in a way where the message is that its fucked up i can respect that but jus full on writin shit like pedoph/l/a and sayin "its okay its so i can cope" while excusing it in the media itself i dont fuck with.

idc about calling myself an anti or whatever (though for the sake of being clear, yes, i am but also i think this is just a normal fuckin opinion to have) i just think that if youve gone through something shitty that you should find a better coping mechanism than romanticizin what you and others go through in media because "fiction doesnt effect reality" or some shit.

if you have to call your ships problematic then stop encouraging the problem. i know full well theres discomforting views on both sides and i dont agree w saying that you cant portray dark themes at all or that ppl are bad for having thoughts abt it, bc i do too, but encouraging people to normalize their experiences by putting them in media is.... not okay!! it isnt! and using *other* peoples characters for that is gross too, i hate it esp in fanmedia bc those arent your characters!! its gross to look at someone elses work, someone elses characters, and go "what if this had pedophilia? what if the siblings fucked? what if they were into beastiality, what if they were abusive, etc etc" esp if the media doesnt have traces of that.

theres a difference between healthily projecting and doing something that just encourages normalization of that kind of stuff (and yes, writing media of fucked up shit while acting like its okay in the media itself [again, not talking abt media where its acknowledged that its fucked up {and i dont mean like a pedophile going "oh i shouldnt be doing this" and going ahead anyways, thats disgusting} / where the victims heal] helps normalize the idea that its okay)

and in the end its frustrating to see ppl think that bc people are going "yo its not good to encourage the idea that this stuff is okay and 'coping' by exposing yourself over and over again and telling yourself that what happened was okay and valid isnt actually coping, its just getting more and more unhealthy" that means that everyone who says it thinks dark media shouldnt be explored at all or that survivors are gross people for having intrusive thoughts and trying to cope even if its not the best way to go about it. no it just means stop fucking romanticizing shit like pedophilia and stop allowing it to happen holy shit.

just because we have the option to click away/not see doesnt mean its not uncomfortable and gross as hell that its there in the first place!! if someone does something fucked up im gonna say thats fucked up it doesnt matter if i shouldnt have seen it in the first place, it being kept secret just makes it *worse*, acknowledging that you shouldnt do it and doing it anyways is *gross* and i cant believe this is controversial to say

#theres a post that words this better and i might find it later but i wanted to say this unfiltered bc its important and proshippers keep #overstepping my boundaries and it makes me almost relapse every single time and i hate it #i dont want to relapse on my birthday. please just respect my boundaries and leave me alone. please #please please pleade please #im sorry but im keeping this untagged (tw wise) bc. important. i just. i cant. i cant keep fucking watchnng ppl like that #be in my notifs it kakes me eant to fucking vomit and choke on it i hate being reminded of them i hate being reminded of what i went thru #going all 'ueueueue we said dont click on it' shut the fuck up seeing it at all gives me flashbacks and youre not as sneaky as you think u r #mask mews

[bigbrotherlouis]

the bag of chips scene from 'i ate you up the day we first spoke' for the director's cut meme!

whoohoo i actually loved writing this scene and i’m so glad someone asked about it yeeee

(director’s cut meme)

everything eases back into normal. tk picks nolan up for practice, because nolan’s car is inexplicably always out of gas, (this is true, i read an article about it somewhere) and ties nolan’s ties for him on game days, and follows him into his living room to eat all the good snacks nolan hides on increasingly higher shelves.

“how did you even get those?” he asks when he comes out of the washroom and finds travis eating illegal all-dressed his mom had sent down in his last care package. he’s pretty sure they were hidden, like, on top of the cupboards this time. he literally had to throw them up there. (food, when you move countries, is a really big deal. i always want to keep the mutlicultural aspect of a lot of hockey players in mind, because i was a young multicutural person in the united states, and home foods is usually a good way to do it. all-dressed are pretty distinctly canadian, and my cousin gets her parents to send them to her in california, so i borrowed that from her. also i liked the image of TK climbing on the counters to try and get at a bag of chips.)

tk shrugs and crams a handful of chips into his mouth. “smart thinking.”

“those are mine.”

“i don’t see you eating them,” tk says smugly and nolan thinks about it for precisely point two seconds before he launches himself at the sofa. (no thoughts, head empty)

it’s a familiar ritual, this one. tk cackles, going limp so he can noodle off the cushions onto the floor, the bag still clamped in his hand. he scrabbles backwards until he’s out of reach of nolan’s admittedly long arms.

“sucks to suck, babe,” he gloats, except nolan is not emphatically giving up, those are his chips, and he’s not going to let his idiot of a best friend eat them all. tk grunts when nolan lands on his lower half, hard, and pins down his legs so he can’t escape. he sits on tk’s knees and ignores the yelling. (travis “has never shut up once in his life” konecny strikes again)

“mine,” he says savagely, snatching the bag out of his hands. tk huffs, shoving at his legs.

“it’s rude— not to— share— fuck, patty, what are you doing in the gym?”

“some of us don’t skip leg day.”

“yeah, well, some of us aren’t built like a fuckin’ ox,” tk complains, as if he’s not just as in shape as nolan is. “i can’t even fuckin’ pinch you because you’re wearing jeans.”

“now who’s the smart think—  fuck!” (not you, pat. not tk either but still not you.) he shouts, flinching and rubbing at his side. that pinch is definitely going to bruise. tk uses it as a distraction to roll them, nolan’s shoulders thudding painfully against the floor, and straddles nolan’s stomach with his thighs. there’s another struggle but tk gets hold of nolan’s arms, pins them under his knees so nolan’s fists are at his sides. he’s effectively trapped. (too many nolans but what do you do when writing m/m. also this isn’t specific to this scene, but especially in hockey with all its nicknames, i like to write people’s internal narrative with whatever name they probably think of themselves as. that’s why nolan isn’t pat/patty here, and why tk is usually not travis)

“still me,” tk says, grinning at him with undisguised glee. he works the chips free and sits up, putting his weight just under nolan’s ribs so all the breath gets knocked out of him for a second.

“fucker,” nolan hisses, trying and failing to wriggle his way out. “what the fuck, teeks?”

“that’s what you get for not growing up with brothers, bro. gotta fight to survive. survival skills.”

“bud, you don’t even know. sisters have nails and they’re not fucking afraid to use them,” nolan says, his best murder glare in effect. he probably still has the scars in some places. (i know i do) tk snorts.

“sorry, i don’t see you scratching me here,” he says.  

“let me go and i’ll scratch you up real good,” he threatens and then his brain catches up with his mouth, his face going red as he realises what he’s maybe implied. “uh.”

tk doesn’t take the obvious chirp, just raises an eyebrow. there’s a considering look on his face, one that makes nolan want to squirm more and it settles somewhere down deep in his stomach. (so i wrote this scene because i needed a turn for both of them, relationship-wise. iirc, there’s been a few places where tk’s interest might be noticeable, but nothing super concrete for pat or for the reader. meanwhile, on tk’s side, he needed clear signals that pat’s into him before he tries to tell him again.)

“uh,” he says again because his brain is just fucking offline and his arms are still locked under travis’ legs and travis burns hot because nolan can feel it against his skin, through his t-shirt, and this is all going to get incredibly, incredibly awkward in about three seconds. (unfortunately, i love a good run-on sentence to build tension) he’s pretty sure popping a boner because a teammate is sitting on you is, like, not something you can get away with by laughing.

tk shifts, sitting up the tiniest bit, and reaches out the hand that’s not currently occupied with the fuckin’ chips— probably all crushed to hell now, anyway (foreshadowing!! also strategic last mention here so we know that tk is still holding them, and then they aren’t mentioned until the shoe drops for optimal dramatic effect) — and brushes his fingers against nolan’s cheek. he traces the blush from his cheekbone carefully down his neck, pausing to thumb at his jaw, and then bumps his fingers against his collar, where it disappears down into his shirt. (i really liked building the tension here. also this is fully just projection bc i would love to touch patty’s blush once in my life)

“you’re glowing, pat,” he says, so soft, and it makes nolan go redder. he glowers at a spot by tk’s ear, unwilling to look him in the face and see whatever is written there. (would tk actually tell nolan he’s glowing? probably not, but fictionally it gives the reader a good picture of what nolan looks like to someone else. i didn’t want to overuse red-- which didn’t quite feel like a strong enough word-- or blush, so glowing it was.) tk hooks his index into the collar and there’s a moment when nolan thinks he’s going to pull it down, see if his blush goes all the way down his chest— it does, if he’s embarrassed enough. it’s fucking terrible— and he turns his head away, dragging in a breath through his nose. he’s, like, so incredibly fucked that he can’t even think about it without going dizzy. (you’ll probably see this a lot if you look for it in my writing, but i like to add in a “like” or something similarly bro-ish when things get particularly emotionally fraught, to keep it more realistic. also i think it’s funny. anyway, i like the contrast of tk not being able to take his eyes away from something he wanted and nolan not being able to look at it. characterisation, wahey!) it’s better to just not look.

of course, it’s the exact opposite of what tk wants.

“hey,” he says. “look at me.”

nolan refuses, a muscle ticking in his jaw. (this is hot to me idc) tk lets go of his collar to pull on his hair instead, just a little tug of a piece by his ear, and nolan can’t quite bite back the punched-out sound that he lets out. (also hot.)

“look at me,” tk says again, an edge to his voice, and nolan does. tk won’t stop until he does, he knows that well enough. (another look at their dynamic and how well they know each other) he lifts his chin, just a tiny bit, because he’s not going to do anything without a fight. tk’s hand tightens in his hair and it keeps him in place, nailed— ha— to the floor. (i write for the people whose brains make inappropriate jokes at the wrong moments) he couldn’t move if he wanted to, watches helplessly as tk leans down.

the hope in his chest is so thick, nolan thinks it might actually smother him, stop his heart. he’s breathing fast and shallow, almost on the verge of panting, and jesus fuck, isn’t that embarrassing. he’s so desperate, he could squirm with it and he briefly remembers travis months ago, writhing on his very rug and how much nolan wanted to help. he can smell snow again, sharp in the back of his nose. (this does the double work of calling back to an earlier scene-- ya girl loves a good callback-- and also building the anticipation some more. the snow reference reminds the reader that this is still a werewolf au, even in the midst of this. also, once when i was like fifteen, i read something about how to write kisses/romance and it talked about picking one or two aspects of the kiss to focus on-- breathing, hands, the feeling of someone’s mouth, etc. i still use that advice.)

tk shifts his weight and nolan has enough time to think holy fuck, is this happening? before travis fucking konecny upends the bag of all dressed-flavoured crumbs all over his face. (OKAY a lot going on here! it’s one of my favourite moments, really. first of all, here’s the resolution of all the chips talk! sure, i could’ve just abandoned them, but the subverting of expectations was a lot more fun and the story still wasn’t quite ready for them to kiss yet. second, this is tk chickening out. he had two choices and he chose violence. or, like, the buddies option, which is amusing to me because this is not buddies, boys. finally, the full name was necessary to convey nolan’s disappointment and anger, as was the full description of the chips. nolan is upset, and he’s going to notice these things, and that shows up in his internal narrative.)

“got ‘em,” he crows over nolan’s sputtering, letting himself get bucked off onto the floor. nolan wipes furiously at his face, all his feelings a confusing mix of horny and angry and confused, all with the thick overtone of humiliation.

“you’re a fucking dick,” he says and it’s flat, but tk is gloating too much to care. (he’s not, he’s trying to cover, but nolan’s too embarrassed to realise)

“you should’ve seen your face, pat.”

nolan glares daggers at the carpet, the chips spread out everywhere. it’s going to be a bitch to clean up. tk had better help. (makes sure the punch landed, and to give a final resolution.)

he leans against the sofa and waits for tk to tire himself out, listening to the laughter and trying not to get too angry or, like, cry. his neck feels hot, prickling uneasily. he rubs at it with his hand, startles when tk kicks him gently in the ankle. (in order for tk to not come out of this looking like an asshole, i needed him to make up his obliviousness by being observant in other times. and in order for tk to notice patty being mad, i needed to give patty actions that could be noticed, like not laughing along with the joke)

“sorry if i made you mad,” tk says quietly, all the giggles finally worked out of him. “you looked tense (no shit bud) and i thought it would make you laugh.”

it’s not tk’s fault nolan thought he was gonna, like, kiss him. (”like” again, to break up a too-honest moment) it was a dick move but tk doesn't have a cruel bone in his body, so: “it’s fine,” he mumbles and shrugs his shoulder. “it was funny.”

tk preens for a second. “i know.”

“you owe me a bag now.”

“i’ll buy you a family-sized pack. i’m sure they’ll ship it down here, amazon or ups or somethin’.” (patty’s attempting to be normal and tk is attempting to make amends.)

nolan nods and scratches at his face, tipping his head against the couch cushions. (little motions like him scratching his face aren’t super necessary for like plot or development, but it helps humanize characters and i like to add them in whenever i can, as long as it’s not overkill. they can also be helpful in pointing to emotional state without directly saying it.) it’s quiet for a few seconds, just the sound of them breathing heavier than usual, and it would be so normal. should be normal, by all counts, but nolan still kind of wants to crawl into a hole for while. wants to push tk out of the apartment and eat ice cream and google ‘how to stop a crush,’ like his sisters used to do when they were upset. he’s already googled it, a few days ago, and there was nothing but maybe someone’s offered good advice since then. (people make an impact on you, and family even more so, and i always like reminders of how close nolan seems to be with his sisters. also, it’s funny.)

tk flicks him on the wrist. (this is something that tk does consistently through the story, and even though it’s not super important to this scene, it establishes a behaviour in the larger story. that’s important too!)

“pat,” he says and it sounds it’s not the first time. nolan blinks.

“yeah?”

“i just asked you if you were hungry.”

“oh. uh. no, not really,” he answers truthfully. tk wrinkles his nose.

“do you, like, have anything in your fridge to eat?”

“mm, probably not.”

“typical,” tk mutters under his breath, as if he ever has anything regularly stocked besides protein powder and bacon. (protein rich foods that are easy to eat after a full moon, or after a workout) at least nolan has eggs pretty consistently. (also a protein rich food that’s less easy to eat after a full moon, but are easy to make when you aren’t a werewolf) “wanna go get sushi?”

nolan thinks about it. shoves his sweaty hair behind his ear and considers going out to their favourite place and pretending he’s not still fucking mortified. and, like, a little turned on. it makes him nauseous. (i get such physical reactions to emotional things that i write everyone into having them) 

“no,” he says. he’s not facing tk but he can still see him deflate, his shoulders hunching over. “i don’t— no.”

“okay. that’s… okay.”

“i think i’m getting a migraine,” lies nolan. “think i’m just gonna lay down.”

“do you need me to stay with you? keep you company?”

nolan’s shaking his head before tk even finishes the thought. “no, trav. i’m fine, i promise.” (the trav here works as a signal that something isn’t right! it’s why tk looks at him for so long in the next line.)

tk studies him for a long minute, his eyes searching the side of patty’s face presented to him. nolan keeps his expression as blank as possible and stares hard at his feet.

“text me if you need anything,” he says finally, the words coming out slow and gentle. it’s a lot to handle. “i’ll come back.”

“i know. i will.” he won’t, but that’s not for tk to know. he doesn’t move when tk goes out the door, squeezes his eyes shut when the door doesn’t slam into its frame, (tk’s taking care of him, still!) and decides to leave the pile of crumbs to deal with later. (the climax of this scene happened a while ago so this is another little reminder of what happened, just so it’s solidified in the reader’s head after the longish comedown. i end scenes a LOT like this-- two actions, and then a callback-- because they’re simple and effective, and usually sound great!)  /fin

ahh thank you so much for asking!! this was really fun to, like, process through and remember my logic for! i was actually really nervous writing this scene, because i knew the tension and the break had to be PERFECT for it to land right. but i do like how it turned out so at least there’s that. ily!!

#it took longer to write but i had fun!! #thank you caitlyn!!!!!! #fic talk #hockey rpf #hockey bros #my fic #hockey #tk/patty #idiots to lovers #cactusandfir #long post

[helreigns]

ey.

alright, so. yes, it’s your boy, big z. let’s talk a bit. i don’t know where this is gonna go, but i’ll be frank with you guys: being away from this app has done wonders for me. seriously. i’ve lost weight, my skin’s better, my productivity’s increased- people say that as a meme but no, i’m serious. a few months ago i was telling my friends “I considered going back to tumblr but like, lmao. im happy so why would i?” because frankly, being on here does not make me happy. 

i’m very good at curating my content, avoiding goofy bitches- a master at the craft, ik ik, but it’s not about that. i can ignore, block, and continue about my day as it was without caring much about a 19 year old who believes their a minor and an angel or some shit, w/e. the goofies aren’t even the issue. i didn’t come here with a plan on what to talk about so this is all just coming at once because i keep thinking “tumblr’s kind of the best place for a multimuse, and i know some good peeps.” that’s my thought process when considering returning, but guys. we need to address the issue: it’s hard to find this enjoyable. i certainly know it’s not just me. let me go in depth.

fiction is fiction. i don’t care what kind of writing you do, be it kink-writing, fluff, dark-fiction / darkfics, developmental, etc. people have gotten to a point where they see something they don’t like and they can’t remove themselves from the situation. with kids, it’s expected, but people into their late twenties continue to act like this-- but this isn’t my main reason why i think it’s no longer enjoyable as it was in early 2010s-- it’s cause back then, you didn’t really have to worry about your partners being two-faced. i swear people on here think they’re on some anime villain shit, i swear to god i’ve literally had a friend who made a discord server, set it up, built it up & made it for people who want to write with each other & aren’t mentally harmed by whatever topics they included noncon, dubcon, etc. don’t care- if you aren’t down to read, you don’t need to. that’s fine, it’s dandy. what happened was that someone pulled some, idk black widow shit and joined the server pretending to be a writer who enjoys darkfiction and woe and behold, they were some goofy bitch who leaked all the logs / urls -- and i gotta ask: what is the point. don’t say it’s “to warn others” cause no it ain’t bitch lmao. it’s to shame them, dogpile, & report-- let’s not get into the weird, disgusting high that these people get. feeling like they really CHANGED something in the world for “exposing” a discord full of people that deadass just wanna write fanfiction. yeah, much change, very w0ke. doge meme that stupid shit, lmao. 

i know im rambling but man. okay, back to the whole two facething. i just dont feel comfortable sharing anything about myself. i’ve literally lied about my location, the place i’m living in- things as simple as me being in collage or not. why? cause goofy bitches love to dox, play games, threaten livelyhoods and talk the most fatdick game on the internet but when someone gets hurt they will crawl into a hole and pity the shit out themselves because uwu no wrong- bullshit bro. legit, i can’t make friends on here because it feels like everyone is taking screencaps of everything, not even because they themselves are twofaced, but you can’t take the risk of not having “””recipts”””. like bro, we’re having a CONVERSATION. i literally didn’t wanna give out disco/rds the last time i was here cause i felt that could be a method to dox me. stupid shit, right? it feels like this is some stupidass anime political battleground. this kinda had no point, it’s just me voicing my feelings. still, if you take anything out of this: for god sakes, leave each other alone. stop with this wannabe mean girls shit. it’s tumblr rp & it never shouldve been that deep. i absolutely don’t give a shit about “reputation” - i’m on the internet lmao, neither should you all. also, one more thing: if your friendship is conditional, then it isn’t one at all. if you believe someone will no longer be friends with you cause they find out you like to read lmao fuckin noncon? ditch. it’s not worth it. if some mf just said “if you like uhh homes/tuck, i will block you” that’s how it deadass sounds. goofy shit. that’s all, feel free to ignore, reblog, idc. stay safe

#hope everyone's good #dont see myself coming back rn possibly in the future #ill clean things up a bit #but for now? eh #ooc / #idk my tag fuck the fancy shit we're too old for it #edit: damn it really been half a year #amazing

[blurry-fics]

Between the Lines

Pairing: Tyler Joseph x Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2209

Request: a bookstore fic where they meet reaching for the same book orrrrr they’re both too into their books that they aren’t looking and run into each other. idc as long as they’re in a powell’s living their best lives 😪 -@blackbeanietyler​

Author’s Note: For anyone who doesn’t know what Powell’s is, it’s a bookstore in Portland, Oregon (where I’m from) that has all sorts of used and new books (and I highly recommend going if you ever have the chance). Anyway, I really enjoyed writing Tyler as a book nerd and I hope you enjoy it too :) (picture credit)

Your arm started to ache as you walked down the steps that led to the fiction section. Although your original plan had only been to stop in the bookstore to pick up a new release from your favorite author, you had inevitably ended up finding three additional novels that you wanted to take home. Before you knew it, you had spent the better part of the stormy afternoon wandering through aisles of books before even finding what you had come for.

You managed to find an unoccupied bench nestled between a couple of bookshelves where you could sit down and let your tired arms rest for a bit. Not wanting to be in the way, you tucked your knees up to your chest and leaned against the side of the shelf, keeping your books safe in your lap. You had managed to snag a special edition of your favorite book for a good price and you didn’t want to risk losing or damaging it. People hardly even gave you a second glance as you rested on the bench; it was a common occurrence to find someone who had been nestled in a corner for hours reading a book that they had still yet to purchase.

When the circulation had finally returned to your arm and you felt ready to venture down the aisles once again, you got up, collected your things, and started your slow crawl along the shelves. Sure, you knew the author of the book you were looking for, but what was the fun of being in a bookstore if you didn’t also look at what else they had to offer? You would get to the book you needed eventually.

A couple other people were hovering around the section you needed to get to, so you hung back for a little while until they eventually walked away. You didn’t really feel like pushing through a crowd of people, even if you knew exactly what you needed. Thankfully, they only stuck around for a minute or so before growing bored and moving on to the next shelf. After a final adjustment of the books already in your arms, you made your move and started to reach for what happened to be the last copy of the novel.

Unfortunately for you, someone else had the same idea.

Your hand brushed against the stranger’s before either of you were actually able to reach the book. Embarrassed, you recoiled your hand and tried to make peace with the fact that you had missed out on a fresh copy of a novel that you had been looking forward to reading for months. At least you would be able to order a copy online.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were going for the same book,” they said.

You turned to face the stranger, not having expected them to actually talk to you. Most of the people you encountered in bookstores were more than willing to keep to themselves, or steal a last copy away from someone else.

“It’s fine,” you shrugged. “You can have it, if you want.”

“You should take it, I insist.”

You took a moment to get a good look at the stranger. He couldn’t have been much older than you, a year or two at most, though the deep bags under his eyes made him look older. The hood on his sweatshirt was pulled up nearly to his ears, casting shadows over his thin face and nearly blending into the mess of dark hair on top of his head. If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought he just rolled out of bed. You also took note of the fact that he was only carrying a couple other smaller books in his arms.

“I really don’t think I need another book,” you said, holding up the stack in your arms for emphasis. “You should take it.”

“The only thing that tells me is that you’re a more avid reader than I am, so by all means you should take it,” he smiled. He had a nice smile.

“I’m really not going to take a book that someone else wants. I can just come back in a few weeks when they get the next shipment in. I live close. Please, just take the book.”

“You’re from around here?”

“Are you not?” you asked.

The stranger shook his head. “I’m in a band. We’re currently on tour, which is why I’m even here. All my friends were saying that I needed to check this place out if I had a chance and I figured it was a good opportunity to pick up some books for the road.”

“So what you’re saying is that you really should be the one to keep the book,” you said, raising an eyebrow.

“No!” he laughed. “That’s not why I brought it up.”

“I know, I know,” you smiled. “But still, it really doesn’t matter if I wait a little longer to get it. Like I said, I have all these books to keep me busy until I can get my hands on a copy.”

“Ok, what if I make you a deal?”

“I’m listening.”

“You can have this copy of the book if you pick out a different book for me.”

“You want me to pick out a book for you?”

“Yeah.”

“What if I have terrible taste in books?” you laughed.

He laughed along with you, “I looked at the books you’re carrying and I can assure you that you don’t have bad taste in books.”

“And I can pick out any book for you?”

“Yep.”

“Deal,” you smiled, holding out a hand.

The stranger shifted his books to one side before reaching out and shaking your hand. Your mind was already running over an endless list of potential books you could give to this stranger.

“I’m Tyler, by the way,” he said as he pulled his hand away.

“Y/N,” you said, trying to ignore the newfound sense of nervousness you felt after shaking his hand. “So, I’m going to go grab the book real quick. Are you going to stick around here?”

“Yeah, I’ll be in this aisle or the next.”

“Perfect.”

“I’ll hold onto this until you get back,” he said, grabbing the last copy of the book. “Just to make sure you hold up your half of the deal.”

You raised an eyebrow, “And how do I know you’ll hold up yours and not just run off with the copy of the book?”

He held the book over his heart, “You have my word, Y/N.”

“Alright,” you said. Before he had a chance to see the dorky grin on your face at his cute remark, you turned and quickly walked out of the aisle.

After some thinking, you had decided to give him a copy of your favorite book in hopes that he hadn’t already read it. Even if he had, maybe he would enjoy rereading it as much as you did. You shook your head, hardly believing the thoughts that were running through your head. How had you gotten yourself into this position, picking out a copy of your favorite book for a complete stranger?

Not a stranger. Tyler.

The mere thought of his name was enough to make your stomach erupt in butterflies. You pressed your lips together, trying to push the thought from your mind. There was no use in getting yourself worked up over what was going to be a brief encounter at best. He had already told you that he was in a band, meaning that he would probably be gone by tomorrow morning. Never to be seen again.

You were quickly distracted by your arrival to the correct aisle. It was one that you had been in so many times that you already knew exactly where the book would be from memory. There were a few copies to choose from, and after some debate you eventually settled on a new one. It was a bit more expensive than the used ones, but it would give Tyler a chance to make it all his own, if that was even something he enjoyed doing. You knew not everyone enjoyed writing in their books the same way you did.

Enough thinking. Time to find Tyler.

You eventually did find him curled up on one of the benches, already flipping through one of his books. He looked up when he heard you approaching and tucked the books back into the crook of his arm.

“Did you find something for me?” he asked, once again standing up to his full height.

“Yep, a copy of my favorite book of all time. Hopefully you haven’t read it,” you said, passing it to him.

He took a moment to look over the cover before flipping to the back and reading the synopsis. You chewed on your lower lip, waiting for his reaction.

“This sounds amazing,” he grinned. “I can’t wait to read it.”

You almost said something about being excited to hear his thoughts, then remembered the situation the two of you were in. Instead, you stayed quiet.

“And here’s your book, as promised.”

You took the book from him and added it to the top of your pile. Between the tiredness of your arms and the darkening of the sky, you figured it was about time you got home to make yourself dinner.

“Well, I should be getting home. It was really nice meeting you, Tyler.”

“Wait,” he said, “do you mind if I walk with you to the registers? Might be nice to wait in line together.”

“Yeah, that would be nice.”

You started to walk towards the front of the store and Tyler quickly fell into step with you. The butterflies had returned to your stomach, but this time you didn’t try so hard to push them away. With this new development in the story, there was still a chance for something to happen before you said goodbye for good.

“So, you said you’re not from around here?” you asked.

“Yeah, I’m actually living in Ohio right now.”

“Ohio,” you repeated. “How is that?”

“It’s alright, but I like having a chance to tour and see the whole country. It leads to some pretty cool experiences.”

You were sure that Tyler had cast a glance at you when he said that, but you were too shy to meet his eyes.

“How is being in a band?”

“The best,” he smiled. “And the other guy in the band, his name is Josh, is my best friend, so that’s really awesome. I mean, I’m essentially traveling and doing what I love with the closest person I have in my life. It doesn’t really get better than that.”

Normally you were relieved when the line at the registers was short, but today was different. You wouldn’t have minded being in line for half an hour if it meant more time to talk to Tyler.

“That sounds amazing. I would love to hear some of your music.”

“It’s on iTunes and Spotify and all that. We’re called Twenty One Pilots.”

“Oh, like the Arthur Miller play?”

“Yes, exactly,” Tyler grinned.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“What about you? What’s your life like?”

“That’s a loaded question,” you exhaled. “I guess the short answer is that I’m working and trying to figure out what I want to do in life.”

“I’ve been there,” Tyler nodded. “I’m still kind of there, if I’m being honest.”

“Next!” the cashier called.

A frown passed over Tyler’s face, “I guess this is goodbye.”

You tried to hide the disappointment that he hadn’t asked for your number, or maybe you had read the entire situation wrong. Perhaps his remarks hadn’t been anything other than friendly.

“It was really nice meeting you, Tyler. Maybe we’ll run into each other in another bookstore sometime,” you smiled.

“I hope so.”

He waved before turning and walking up to the open register. You had just started to relive all of your interactions with Tyler when the next register opened up. Setting your books on the counter and digging through your bag for a card became a quick distraction.

“Do you want a bag?” the cashier asked.

“No, I have my own. Thank you.”

She finished ringing you up before handing you the receipt and sliding the books your way. You grabbed them and stepped out of the way so that she could begin to help the next person. Before tucking all the books away, you opened up the one on the top so that you could slide the receipt inside.

“What is that?” you muttered, noticing some pencil marks below the title page. You picked up the book and brought it closer to your face, only to realize it was a note.

Sorry for writing in your book, I know not everyone likes to mark up their books like I do. Also sorry for being too embarrassed to do this in person. -Tyler

Beneath all of it was a hastily scribbled phone number. You couldn’t help but smile as you closed the book cover and tucked all of them safely into your bag so they wouldn’t get soaked by the rain.

Maybe you hadn’t misread things after all.

#tyler joseph #tyler joseph x reader #tyler joseph fluff #twenty one pilots #twenty one pilots fluff #tyler joseph imagine #tyler joseph drabbble #tyler joseph fanfiction #twenty one pilots x reader #twenty one pilots imagine #twenty one pilots drabble #twenty one pilots fanfiction #fluff #skeleton clique #blurry-fics

[dreamscometrueeee]

Sewing Tools That's What I Do I Sew And I Know Things Vintage Poster

Flight is garbage in the claim you rents what is so is it would somebody went there Alicia Countyand that’s the bad I’ll be only the people that were attached the place like that was doing it right limit memorializing all that brought you to comics in the pages of important she is important that you mean that scene led me to comics need to did have you do you are you you must make times of the remorse ghastlyand you told him about it is you guys Kikiand he said I knew where I is doing music really weird at the time glass that is mainstream now safely give to find new where shall I just discovered inflationand all these other pretty amazing things that I’ve never heard of before is also a Sewing Tools That's What I Do I Sew And I Know Things Vintage Poster T shirt anywhere mental were suicide gasping like he’s been amazingly supportive personnel to the cellistand concerns Streetand we are importantand that’s a nature asking questions when you need to like from my training but cure you are your great creative great I like something really try to get the thing that’s good to me sound share your right Obama is a jolly good the things I commented that in the did you write realize that I work in this book I created this bookand somebody would you have to be lineage of comicsand this is a goodwill to the guys taking over after you had a wonderful AA like thisand this is unspoken is like saying you went over to somebody outside of London commission’s are you doing something radically like a faint getting his writing grant requests were for Pauland said that you message to mischaracterization furs are going to jump to wagerand I would be glad to do that for a writer that the wheel of comics continues to as it was done for you see somebody else the book is out if your request is on Monday tomorrow if you watch this any to do on Monday or Tuesday with make sure I first six issues on a diamond in keep that society can also brought us towels I like this flexand how beach town you are living the goddamn Marianneand John is probably is not to say your dreamand your earning it in your way can be like you’re doing right honorand trying to good heartand trying young animal line Gerard Way he’s in comics is in your headand heart felt very still carry Jeff said that before you send a thank you driveway Navy fat man on Batman I becomes Barbaraand he spent driveway come back next episodeand see the students say that on say that channels my guest. I year ago like this week with Elma’s anniversary has been even hyperactive instance like a urologic where Mary might think that is really touches on everything you just discuss the potential light on so when I first sat down with Andy Dioand we had that AEI we can any do we like each other timeout like things we can do in storiesand we told themand one penny he said to me because you is wanting an IDC shape DC has always been a struggle for me to be like 40 fictional organizations that basically do the same thingand actually very messy as a literary device it actually is difficult for some of the other writers now they’re all created out of good places all creator going on when I make a thing so I don’t bother the other thing is 516 so I he said story like I like a spy thriller where all these thingsand all urging yourand I seminoma your interest like knockdown about something something arises out of it dad that was kind of the the purpose of all of this that could be pretty cooland what has to push back against it. Injury resume displays there you where they left is obviously not the one Michael Silver in the NFL network that your golf because of the Cal connection but from a different perspective last year just cut to the chase why is it that part of the Cal offense really was install by Sonny Dykes but the offensive coordinator what is it that none of that was brought in you drafts of the number one like Mary O’Halloran James Winston or Tammyand you install parts raise their familiar withand approaches but the disaster didn’t do that why you think that was welland glad personnel you begin to get a on the opposite is knowledge that we may be short done that they were I think a private area that is a valid question in general why oh why you many Apple coordinators insist on you know not having to do with them of what is to live my life back to as you was the often lineand maybe still is developing that much you notice that it a lot of peopleand myself included potentially talk about the proposal in the trenches line installed outline we immediately revert back to the mentality with anything that we can’t do this is my quarterbackand allow you to be flattered of a negative I really have to do a lot of the lines the cowboy last two years or the raider last year are you taking the team nylon in 2017 I see what the line can do I reminder that while you really think that I think the render the Einstein to chance what concerns me is that I don’t think the line is all want to do so without a salon Dell I’m very curious to know what you think of the raider’s chances this year with your prediction or can you make it prediction about doing what we need a predation but I you I’m very you think I know many of the type of team that they could better than doing oneand in any given point out they were in that position but I think they are that good the incident concerning those are you there be better a table waiting 30 they should also be a hell I am excited aboutand you have to death the running back God the line is really really good the quarterback is getting betterand you Jericho to the tandem of Michael Crabtreeand Lori Cooper which is pretty specialand I don’t see him getting stopped regularly so I am really raters I think you played a very good team to be there they were obviously scary on paper even scarier than going to last year I really like better than a lot of people realize that I say to someone who lived our way because I would down going in the last

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There is still a Sewing Tools That's What I Do I Sew And I Know Things Vintage Poster shouldn’t stiffand rigid it is relax a little bit of your post is’s little slack to exert effort to correct Paul shows so that’s the balanceand third quality is the window still awareness is for keeping the back straightand of course your hands on the lapis balance gesture balance to be the spine straight is the is that what I know so when is present fireand theand so you well your checking the posture on the way upand downand when read the possible is slightly improved bullshit slow to do so while you’re at it in the back as you scan your Paul shoulder from the feed to the on the crownand then you have this is the fourth qualities awareness so that is all about LOL how long carefully Perez not harried not too slow all the way you scan upand then just into universal scanning the on so you’re doing the posture to know each Paul shows this symbol of the poll showsand check correct the poll showing the quality of stability of the balance of the world to the awareness of the fiveand inside of an element so in this way scan your body upand down for good six loops around I call that one batter insert after there is six surrounds take a shop short in a break after that Jane scanned the posture of the doing the knowing checkingand correctingand then feeling both show sewing this for you scan upand down up to see if every six surrounds take a short minute breakand then again sit in the Paul shows I leave you to it all for the first load of time keeping your posture in good order as you have all been guarding that from the last slow time though this time you keep old the stillness of the everything the body the days alliesand the bedroomand so on the third one live Brother is the stillness of attention this time your attention should be run abundantly for this on your breath so stillness means one point so you one point in ill knowingly in her see the oxygen coming old the healing properties all the goodness you can bring in rental is inspire in this with inhalation as the season goes into the chestand love just imagine permeatesand going to the bloodstreams it promotes a wellnessand healingand rejuvenates your whole mindand bodyand spirit with this mine hold the breath spread the breath in the chestand everywhereand then as you breathe out slowly bring up an intention in the body while these fears anything suffering of the world breathe out with the holding in your mind just breathe out also the sword carbon is releaseand this failure exile send this way to stay with inhalation when inhaling staying with his retention rented holding the breathand then stay with accelerationand breathing out each of them finally do them to inspireand him have two rejuvenated when you hold the breath to releaseand let go of an XL so do six surrounds theand after every six surrounds then take a minute break so the surgery the second slot of time he remained still in the Paul should get his do not forget to do the breathing know what is supposed to be thinking free effectand in this way keep your attention so Chrisand time your duration of the batter food no more than six rounds after every six to take a minute break don’t let the mind wonder all fall go doll the forgetful lazy to the Bolshevik stick the abiding in this really mindfulness on holding three stillness of the object environment the postureand the days allies know the full stillnessand this time is one pointedly focusing your attention not only doing would qualify round of breath but dutifully counting without losing the account without compromising the actual quantity so the quality of you all in breathand attention Brad accelerationand then count them at the end of each exhalation meant Tijuanaand to console up to say 21and it’s most likely to succeed to reach that without losing the Then take a minute break when you reach the 21 should you readand distractedand the whale somewhere without being distracted by the distraction just use to take a useful minuteand then started to succeed to reach the top of 21 000 account try to increase the sharpness resolution of the rebound breathand then tried those counting starting with 21 for the first round once finished the culture into theand then to the next swing in the next only do knowand seeand feel each effect all three segments around breath finish that been count night send this was still very focusedand attentive mindfully staying with the full were those counting of cold hole toand the do all the the home on all the old all so thank you for joining with the meditation of cruiser meditation is in Oakland is best done when you don’t have to look at the screenand someone leading your butt look at screen your own mindand but because this time we are doing this guiding this meditation as part of our regular tradition so that today’s topic of the talk is motherhood in Buddhism the mother in Buddhism so because today’s a Mother’s Day dinner when this was injured using internationally but to the role of mother in Buddhism this is very important so I will try to address this topic all for remembering all motherand her kindnessand how to go all develop a consignment of some people have difficulties with the mother the need to reconcile’s because if they don’t reconcile that is probably the many of the problems in life is the repetition of that is so in the context of I would like to draw give this dole in context of the four Noble truths to the suffering of the slides to the truth of suffering is the suffering that as we have faith to do with our mother colonial peoples so still suffering with the mother of the problem is to do with the motherand and the end I think her mother is the problemand so therefore that life is somewhat to somewhat damaged by that something else to do with the motherand parties shall mother has a role to do so that’s the truth of suffering the truth of origin of the South suffering that one has with the mother is not reconciling with mother not to the paying kindness not realizing how sufferingand not realizing how signifiesand all being selfishand the not to the seeing what all Mother’s Day but we only see what we didn’t get for my mother so this greedand self centeredness is the true origin of the suffering to do with one’s motherand theand then them so the then the remembering the kindness of motherand so onand wanted to practice a consignment with mother is of course the truth of the noble truth of the path that because you will be able to try to practice righteous to choose with lovingkindness so much of the tall gone thatand hopefully they will be the truth of cessation decision is that there is no longer the same problemand anger is a Zen man then our children to to do with the heavens above with the mother but in the in relation to that first I would like to just go back to the Godand his mother when the Buddha was the widow was born when he was better which is why we called the consumer with year old it was just one week old souland young his mother passed away’sand the so therefore Buddha was did not really have an actual lot of time to spend his time with his mother he probably knew that the chose to conceive of the timeand he did so nevertheless it is said that when Buddha was the meditating of the beach just before the couple maybe couple of weeks or days before his attainment of Enlightenment so the sum of the day was informed of the Buddha’s mother who she has been being reborn in the heaven of the threat through them God’s informed half saying that your son has deserted your palaceand deserve your husbandand he has not fulfilled her wishesand expectations of the per patternsand his wife that he has a abandoned the childand wifeand he’s now about to die of starvationand sold so therefore them in the mother from the accuses heaven the 33 rounds looks down he also could see the house the Prince about the is indeed the is a emaciated bodies become so thinand weakand sitting under a tree almost like a slug of minutes of Scott so she criedand wafted to sitand when she criedand said the teardropand blue those lapsand it is then the Buddha broke silenceand told his mother that her mom please do not to be ill informed by the day was but I’m about to win enlightenment in the very shortly so I would visit so that is the storyand thenand not so long after his attending enlightenmentand turning the wheel of domicile enough he actually then visited us he told her in on the end of his disciples that he has to go to teacher his motherand then he went to to the heaven of threaded throughout God for three months three months to repair kindnessand revenge of the people of the Dharmaand other teaching to the heaven of the interim goals including his mother so that’s example of how Buddha interrupted from his three months I wish Abbé Scholz know me from this worldand then he wentand talked to the dogma to his mother so that is the life of Buddhaand so also goes with the I can remember that this is such a pundit the antigen century so that heand his mother was very illand cannot go suffering while largely the illnessesand could not spend a good nights sleep all day since very longand so onand also he was as a celebrated Buddhist monkand teacher she wrote this special style Jim will rebuild this is the book was called demo rebirthing but actually it was a how to entertain his mother’s teaching other Buddhists a pathand status of Enlightenmentand the soulsand subsequently his writing has become a are damn all boardgame in Tibetan Buddhism then couple of American scholars of Tibetan Buddhist scholars have turned that bull right into text called demo report in order to teach his mother to repair kindness sold the gray masses have have done a lot of great work so today I’m going to really help you to focus on how youand I also as a as a as a child of our mother can best best learn to to approach the all all perception of motherand change by reflecting on heart kindness first for its it’s important to call my mother very lovinglyand very redand set my kind mother my kind motherand if you can say that you’re my kind motherand just try to see her face just try to see remember the times that she been very kindand does this remember the time that she had she she has she has become a very oldand then how much himand his suffering not from the day that she she conceive you all what must have how delighted Moshe have been as found a found a gem all all what ever so all mother from the very day that she conceive us in in in hot womb as she she was willing to forbear all hardships physical hardships emotional hardships as well as financial constraint is water whatever a professional kind of a risking to the sacrifice she had to make a lot of women when they become pregnant they basically have to have to give up their career or give up the positions than mothers or mothers have done that so therefore try to remember imagine old the what the what a physicaland emotionaland financial difficulties all mother would’ve gone through the G June 1 time June 1 ignition timing me when she considerately conceived in in a mouse in her womb almost should put up with a hard life at the online so to speak she did put half live online so that she can that usand bring up bring bring bring up in this world so so therefore it’s very important to remember what what takes to become the to what takes to become a biological mother just carrying the baby for nine monthsand 10 days to be exact according the third but also wrote a very beautiful all time about about her confessing all the sufferings of mother who he knows that is partly due to him being is said because childand he says my mother you carried me nine monthsand 10 days in your bodyand the ever increasing weight of my body has completely sort of sag your bodyand jeopardize your other activities in life but nevertheless you put your live onlineand are used voluntarily accepted all the sufferings on all full photos to me to be born into the world then from the moment that the you will bond be up on even though we were helpless but she completely is no embrace all body with hot warmth of our bodyand clean the dirtand filled inand the snoband the old old you know whatever we remix every Minnesota come out a waste of my Bob orders she would clean itand wipe itand the anything to put in her womb armsand look at look at with a kind eyesand called with a very sweet namesand theand the that she wouldn’t even even drink on warm food or drinks but instead she would rather she would rather delay them until we are totally comforted on Julia settle downand theand breast feed us old her physical needs into strength whatever strengthand energy she has even that she would rather let that do all the bodily energy of how she would breast feed usand that wasn’t just for today just for today or one night continues for 2 to 2 years she should continue to hold us she wouldn’t to go out even for a day even for couple hours is as we will be will more precious than hop on life what one of the debating places that we were treated as own piece of hot dinnerand the from which charcoal also ways to keep us from dangerand protect us from the coldand heatand it never would do to part from our all moment she would do all kinds of things so that the solid food could is not easy to swallow all the mashed with our fingers thingsand then try to feed us even though even though we are not corporative to to do that she fed us slowly you know that the that the weather whatever even though we can just lie down where reports she would not leave us alone she will constantly keep a watch so that she wouldn’t dare to do anything for Hamas should become the constant care constant God closed in sort of a poetical like a herder like it is animal you’re constantly hurting them to become the most helpless the thing that highlight has found but most preciousand she therefore has it just old half signifies all to how timeand enjoyment in activitiesand interest but completely giving us giving us the to the foodand clothes warmthand the not letting us to face any hardships what whatever she would shoot even though we couldn’t understand a single word she was still speak tirelessly many words our conversations one work one way conversation but she just just the way we look baby smile she would that were to the only comfort she has but she would constantly told conferencing constantly tell storiesand thenand not the mindand on hardships that she has brought us up in these ways that she doesn’t have any time to do spiritual things to do Mondayand things all of that she riskand put aside but the tirelessly not just one day or night so that she constant her whole life become totally busy just to give him to bring me up so how could possibly can we can we forget all the Titus title is word that our mother didst just to give us bothand itand it realized until as far as we could Kroll even though we could crawl that wasn’t enough though because she could she wouldn’t because we can call now she’s afraid that we may we may wonder off to those dangers placesand then stingsand therefore she would do she would not dare to part anywhere she would constantly keep an eyeand theand therefore make herself like a most dedicated’s most devoted companion terrorand the endand the one who loves theand the seizures she she she could not depart for us even for a moment so all of how they relate to saved wealth all property shouldand did you use junior high youth she may have to do do additional job more than two or three jobs over all those that is a savings that she didn’t day to spend she would buy everything that for our need for those clothes whether it’s a toys whether it’s us other necessities that we need for usand the whole body is constantly not losing strengthand energy to shapeand form what mention all the stress she would not remind us to the she would not mind to signifies any of that dispense to give to spell to us so that we we will not be the be called or hungry or thirsty or unattendedand and so on so all mother has has become basically oldand frailand and dependentand sometimes emotionally very depressedand tiredand sleepless but she still would not’s complaint are single word to us but she rather where all about those hardships willingly on on on ourselvesand theand the eventually she ourselves would have scored if some of us have for us all mother still alive then you would know she’s 20 3040 years older than you probably in a nursing homeand theand theand how much attention she did when she has become now helplessand oldand and the end themand lonelyand need company that how much of timeand companyand things are weand have been willing to do so that those of us who whose mothers’ just imagine she has completely partedand left everything behindand she had to go to the on net uncharted territory of next live in the bottles over having having to carry all the that she created on behalf of us just to bring us up to much physicaland emotional that she she would have she would have to go through all of that she she she herself was parted from this physical world but emotionally older that she has created to bring us up all she has to carry like a burden to to go to those difficult places placesand and spaces so what we doing about is is we need to remember all mother’s suffering mother sacrificesand mother’s kindnessand how much since our early days all mother’s physical bodyand how condition had deteriorated due to illness agingand later on by death that even when half of any precious body still wasn’t was a taken twos like symmetry or something you knowand andand all in those in the West because they they would put in a very shiny ball so you don’t see that in the in the traditional they were there would still a lot of take the body into symmetriesand a letter letter to be deposed to decompose all eaten by by bio Wawa animals like vulturesand so on because been out even if all sing all the has all the pieces of body become so strewnand taken away by means but there’s nothing she can do about that so that’s that’s that’s that’s our life so we have become rather like orphan who couldn’t do anything we we would we may we made love all mother but we do can do a thing in terms of risk to half from suffering of all digital signalsand yet we kindness when you think about it is safe is the truth of the responsibility fell on us which many of you will as a biological mother if you have been your self mother just of the same amount of physical care emotional careand the financial signifies you have made as a mother you your mother would have made same if not more some people may have some sad stories of not getting the same situation but but even that these cannot blame your mother your mother is a and how on stressand hardshipsand difficulty were largely due to having taken up the liberty to give all of that to to awes so therefore we should still remember my kind old mother my kind old mother thinking that my own kind old mother’s when she has to part when she has to about that from these life she doesn’t have any medics to take so much metal to take with us because of the all of the car and difficulties that she she she she she she went through are largely the note can be cannot be shared by you or shared with anyone else yet all the better that she created that are negative audit objects was largely her intention was just for the sake of all on alland all on being so therefore being able to think of mother is that in many send some of us would have no opportunity to to repair the kind his mother because she’s dead already others some of use if you have your mother is still alive it’s very important to going to consult with us part of the reason that you all she was still very negativeand miserable was because you have any consult with your mother if you have any consult your mother that is the part of the problem but you couldn’t really hold your your friendship with anyone else for very long is because you have is resentment to basically reflect everything as you did to to the mother to everyone elseand the certificate some goes with the father as well so those who consult with the veteransand the mother in particularand those who learn to be consult it’s never too late so so therefore today’s a good day to the two how to how to go to consult with your mother at least tell half of that you have you have you have come to the moon your own selfishnessand the not being so grateful I have not been very courteousand apologize halfand even apologize all for the sake of peaceand I’m not talking about a severe mother was a was was perfect but you didn’t see how that red doesn’t mean that your mother still was a human being every human being has has a lot of imperfect perfect characteristic as well as very good perfect a good characteristic so don’t try to idolize anybody’s mother anybody’s mother’s everybody every mother has has horn on opinion about how child as well so therefore the everybody every mother would be perceived differently accordingly those people who who have the goodness to to see the motherand hot amount of the graph hardshipsand signifies that all mother has enjoyed it should do we should grow up right nowand not’s not sit on this very awkward point of view oafs is smokingand reflecting to the motherand hard treatment oath towards oneself as being non acceptable disrespectful whatever it is but even then we should now to grow that life is so shortand let before she dies going to consultand say I’m sorry on I’ve grown to accept you a fix of you as you are rather than trying to make some negative comparison with others so therefore being able to remember all kind mothersand motherand see how much she’s passes become old become sickand become dependent of the committee sadand lonelyand put yourself in our shoesand try to therefore learn to repack kindnessand so his mother weptand even in the 7030 could not bear to to to stay in a mall but he promised to the visitand he did he visited half a member both of those mother in the have the heaven of that the roundsand then then Dave spent all this time giving teachings to half so what is it that you can do to to repair the kindness of mother himand Bullock could say you know my mother wasn’t there when I was young because she died a week beforeand after he was born so he had hardly known as a biological mother with this list onto your stepmother’s up to go to maintenance stepped in she did thisand it becomes a stepmother because she stepped in to take over the role of my undatedand and brought him upand so on even then brother was in the top of that deliberately took all the way time to go to the the Heaven of 33 roundsand spend the timeand give the teaching so hence we have this Buddhist festival cope with the descending from the heaven that’s is descending from heaven after having to spend time to repair the hot kindness in the know he could not repay kindness to his mother in the same life so you should not think it’s too late to repair the kind as her mother even say your some of your mother pasta way you can still goand do something because you read because we don’t know where your head hits of our mother is reborn but is possible that she is still wondering in some solderand and she has no no one to care for no one to remember how so therefore it your will never go astray if you as a as a as a child who has remember eyes orphaned by the mother’s absence even though we read helpless agreement we must still remember how kindness who all mother these how much older all weekand she might be in the systemand even though we want to go looking for hollow shucking when Buddha could see where he’s mother is we couldn’t not see how the could not call on themand she will hear so we are completely different vasectomy recording where the mother is couldn’t call a nameand where she went on since a but nevertheless we should still can do all memories I remember hot kindnessand see how helpless we are now but nevertheless feel indebted to to remember hot kindness when you remember some people’s kindness then you definitely feel grateful to gratitude that we are able to seal all will greatly so warm up loving feeling will come from all hotand you have a loving kind loving feeling towards all mother then you would no longer presentand develop brood it will all all all talk negative thing some people of you have seen that all the big window here Buddhist about you remember the kindness mother repair kind of thisand I forgot I remember of any kind is my my mother did become very very hostile to the whole idea that we have to be kind to her mother of course these are some people have that kind of karma of not having had any pleasant experience with’s mother and that is also to do with so therefore we do is we should picture the bed we should try to try to modify the by by remembering such as Mother’s Dayand tried to light a candle or remember kindnessand tried to bury your egoand try to be consult withand think of their great contribution inand get to the kind of that she bestowed upon us even though we do not have even though many loving motherand a son of a child’s will close our loving bell juju goalsand conditionedand no one has freedom to spend the time ever with the mother all this you have to go when you least want to go away from her mother she you go away from how she went away from your souls so therefore how much she but yet she gets almost like hot has been taken out of our love alive yet you know we we have left off motherand she has can’t see us say your mother is alive but she can see you because you are so busy you’re being successful or whatever but still what is success if you don’t have time for your mother to success is jeopardizing your well being so your material to weld is successful people don’t spend time with veterans old to seek all all on lonelyand then they leave it until last minuteand then they’ve been to have a lot of guilt of the colonial peoples depression is because they didn’t do that the right things to the parents to the mother while they need them why they most pertinent time to repack kindness when they seekand lonelyand old that time what is you your success means she can’t barely see you or spend quality time with how even when you spend time with our you don’t you you are you or you don’t do this Ted aspects to all speak courteously lovingly to the then then there is every reason for hard to be very upset so therefore we have to do to try to do the right thing to repair the kindness of parents while they are aliveand dead they are there one day you would be then when she’s died or what ever you would be depressed for a long time peoples depressionand anxietyand the volatility of the emotional instability the mind so emotionally we is because they haven’t really warmed up the heaven really done the real work will homework to do to to repair the kindness of one’s wedding loving mother them every single mother mother by nature biologically is kindand selfless in front of do a child enter not to remember that the kindness of all one’s mother is a great is a is of so therefore in Buddhist teaching emphasized motherand remembering the mother as the first practice not only the mother but see old singeing beings as mother not just from this life but from Paul’s life’s the difficulty that we have in certain people in the end in this lab is also buys lives mother’s beautiful witch with whom we have reconciled so therefore reconciling with all motherand and do not talk about how mistakes all hard wrongdoing but thinkable the sacrifice you made when you do that then you can see while someone else’s nobody will be able to do that like my mother did to me so therefore I should be able to have the goodness to forgive her even of hot mistakesand who hasn’t got mistakes in your sofasand also is a better window mother would have would have said if your sister for the same criticisms that you think about your mother what would you think say your son or daughter are all thinking having the same attitude as you have with your mother ones what would you think what you feel my children are so ungratefuland then she was completely it is same as your parent going through so the karma is very very escalating this off not reconciling with parents is very heavy it will really get you result it hasn’t got you up so that’s why the remembering the dryness of motherand and are doing something to her while she is alive make sure that your visit all the time that you spend is different than you really she really mixed to get to know that she have come to growand become strongand grown to become wiseand starting to really speak kindlyand lovingly to our small acts of kindness we should do a video visit to be very very sweetand short very very unimpeded by your normal behavioral reactionsand rebelliousness all over the child father tried to be very good consented to speak kindly thank how things give credit to offer all the things you areand you have actually that’s true your educationand knowledge just noise financial independence where you are in love you would be there have not been all the hard work you did your parents did in your life being able to thing these will make our students made us to grow in the heartand therefore have you will even when she dies all even in your old as you would never regret not having be consult the better you will feel all it was a long journey but in theand I’m so glad I be consult with my mother you always speak fondly of the mother might kind old mother you will speak to my Kino some people can’t even said so the mother my mother but is assimilated that the that they can’t even speak kind informed me the name of the mother so they don’t say my dear mother my kind old your mother they don’t it as they consider that they just they just have this only negativeand very vindictive identity is the associate that is a very heavy heavy and this will slowly not already what impact you all the behavioraland emotional problems if you have some emotional problems that rooted in that not not on the inability to do the conservative mother then it affected you with your husband over the wife all the gifts with whoever you are working with you always reflect them with that kind of resentment because that is what is is like a perpetuates negative perpetually negative things unnecessary guns of the positive if you create a positive to reconcile the negative was then slowly you will see the kind old mother even your own body your own nose you on our accent is exactly like your mother can see the how much of your bloodand your your muscleand your everything is the mother’s sweatand tears so therefore it’s very important to learn to repair the kindness to repay kindness constitute soon doing things lovingly speaking things respectfullyand feeling warm emotionand Mecca feel that youand us so therefore when you repair the kindness you usually do loving loving things you do generous things to do small things for hard on her own termsand don’t question about who is right is wrong what would she will do is make a happyand if she remembers you making a hot hippie few times before she pauses a way that is that’s going to be’s just so you knowand are feeling a remedy to all the problems in your self will also will it will latch to do the shift the amazing power of love part of kindness part of him even if you have referees in the Buddha for what doesn’t need you need you need your good hard to reconcile with your mother sent in a lots of people of all have a very warm feeling towards him but with their own home with her own mother over the only major familiesand most closes one that treating each otherand estranging each other with some resentment over small thingsand let that grow a huge problemand not even talking to each other for days years months this is the biggest problem in the mutualistic Western societies where they they don’t have the bond of loveand respect to the elderlyand barons for the hardship they have in Jordan that signifies the instant remembering them they remember few negative episodes in their life a childhoodand then lumber the bearand with that that is the true’s true origin of suffering so here the therefore her to to reconcile with that one needs to practice kindness generosity toleranceand compassion with all motherand even if your mother’s note around still you can start to check attitudeand change attitude about how not from negative to nonnegative from the negative to positiveand then from positive it’s very warmand and as a result of that you will you have ever feel indebted to your mother said you have a good husbandand maybe have a good wife all maybe a good job but where would you get those things without your mother has a heaven given breast fed you once you cleanse you just wanted to do for all those years until you are able to do your own thing how many years it took before you become grumbly independent who did all the hot lifting to to be where you are so not being able to remember the kindness of motherand barons is easy is a laudable obstacle to to your spiritualand emotional upliftmentand and contentment have just gone Denman in life you really bit unhappy in life show old people have some disheveled but much of them has completed folk will have stem have stemmed from your not reconciling with your mother so therefore remember your mother only once a year on Mother’s Day is of closes it is a is a really really really delicious at issue remember the mother every day every dayand every day we should to think of kindnessand compassionand all the contribution she has made to your lifeand all the speak kindly about howand a repair kindness of your mother to your mother did not try to do some other people who also mother of all to the elderly woman who doesn’t have children who doesn’t get much from them try to be kind to them as slowly much so how many mothers mothers have been misunderstood by the childrenand have been completely estranging the never get a they never get about that than it was a happy Mother’s Day it’s a really despicable so therefore it’s important to repair the kindness of our mother as best as one can watch if possible to hire while she’s alive to not at least someone who’s near his dears to her that tell how the day that you have a consult with halfand you totally forgive how apologize offand would never thinkand talk in the negative way that you normally do try to make up some shiftand change it into youand your attitude about how one how one one thing so once a mother because if you have change your thought about your mother then you will you will have the cessation of the suffering related with mother if you have a consult with your motherand make peace with hall make peace with all theand then you you you will you will be much kinder to yourselfand other mothers as well because otherwise there is is a business amazing kind of a home view that you continue to hold that the regarding your motherand you’re not therefore that’s that’s the true origin of your suffering is suffering is not because you have all of the problems who doesn’t but fundamentally not being able to having loving feeling towards your mother mother is is everyone’s soles of real joyand happinessand gratitude majority people’s also join happinessand gratitude is the motherand show your husbandand wife sure that you met them only when you’re going to do a whatever what but who brought it up to to be able to meet such a wonderful husbandand wife all job or whatever so be considerate of all where you all to be able to get what you are you where you figure someone is a wonderful new life but your mother isn’t you have not grown up at all so that’s why it’s very important to effectively utilize this Mother’s Day not only a look at your mother’s photoand the spent couple moments to in front of itand meditateand try to express your gratitude loveand and if the necessary forgivenessand the thing and if she’s alive give out a cold really do not wait anymore some of you have not called your mother you still think she’s wrong all you think it’s your fold either way it’s a waste of time but tried to kill the time by pick up the phone while he hold a whole holder phone or something like that in your life that you’re not reconciling with your mother so therefore the part of lovingkindness it tools your mother can make yourself doubly empowered to be able to consult with your mother with your mother so that’s why today’s talks is not only because his Mother’s Day but also I was thinking because this is of a soft week they suddenly according to Theravada Buddhist calendar which most Buddhists are terrifiedand in the country’s death celebrating they suckedand lost the tested is actually the full moon but some are still celebrating this weekand so therefore I was just reflecting on the Mother’s Dayand remembering about the Buddha’s life soand also today Okamoto Bliss are celebrating this out according to this calendar so it’s very good to remember on that ice I said I would try to try to respond to your comments or questions online so if I would just come up to here because I haven’t been able to do that in the past hello everyone a lot of you have joined the what British rider is my mother in this lie was not good mother did not show love is narcissisticand the now we are a strange area I’ve just spoken about Susie’s it’s a it’s in the mother that did that has been difficult to you the old half of physical suffering to bring you up to give birth to youand the amount of those time this should better than a half suffering was mainly many snowballed on top of not being whatever good mother we asked you but nevertheless she would have tried our best so do not to try to see her as someone who was meanand wasn’t really nice at all you may have seen that way because body you are selfish to not to remember how sector flies what she made this you tried to think of the what signifies she has made what you as a daughterand if you have become a mother yourself you will know how different you have been maybe you have been a remarkable motherand you you just resisted resenting that your mother wasn’t quite as good as you but how could you be such a good mother you have known to become good mother because her experience of not having had a good mother but that’s your your way of explaining to her to yourself but in theand through my your mother’s suffering of not being a good mother has actually given you the birth to be a strong woman to give good sort of love shows childhood to your childrenand theand us while you might still have something to consult with a but to you should not all do anymore speaking to her but all were said to speak to her quickly really take couple moments in your daily meditationand the visualizer mother look at a photoand say mom look I I have been presenting in exchange you from all these years this is not good for me all will all I’m I’m happy to comeand talk to youand try to make a really good contribution without further delay to to talk to herand phone all right a very nice messageand try to make peace with half because when you are able to do that then then the suffering that we have the suffering that we have to do with mother is because not because she has been scores of suffering to you but because so suffering of youand your mother is has turned you to meet with Obamaand look at the teachingsand try to turn to compassion so your suffering has become cause of your compassion so your mother sending beingsand overage your mother is the primary person is a great catalyst for you to become where you are now maybe have become much more kinderand compassionate not to be as aggressive all not got kind of notes generous as much as someone may have been but the but nevertheless it has it has taught you how to meet with the Dharmaand no longer waste anymore time we all empathize each other’s difficult. Welcome to be like a three podcast this episode is sponsored by the Clinton weekand Elder scrolls legends little after I sent my sponsor big Kelly area that does sound like I just a reminder which now number there we are also to get the pockets of their we are on spot if I went sound cloud keep that shit introducing our guest listen he’s my he’s frankly my favorite guest on this podcastand just their time on to joint privilege possible LOL thanks for coaxing thanks for having me again probably had in like you have your eye on the silencing elevate you not soirée your fall dealer that later I am the entourage’s been traveling the worldand its drinking Simon J it’s on the show that just shows adjusted to part two I like to consider the journey so the travels for the Bishop yeah this is the shows just happen you happen to be in Italy you like to do is I’m last I like that that the lab in the average out of the lot shit doneand it’s tiring I always think that touring looks so exhaustingand I look like shit now you a you on about I love that you just did the great thing is the use embrace your thinking that your who you are like you just fucking you just a guy that Gladys ago beautiful blue eyes I can send you are guide we cannot imagine that I’m really just a guy your eyes look like hamburger thank you so much love you more than just the icing guy with a couple hamburgers in his eyes can live but it is better since then you’ve just a little recap here but rockstar number one Billboard is still number one fuck me like two months Buffalo my mom’s been texting me every time explaining other play may hereand when you hear you monster met with my month to my mom got I could tell you a Muslim pit out of me I was super every time I go to friends as they like him on that when a guy that is mildly okay about the again nice to see a man momand a cigarette since last summer love our tradition just like trying to stop now I am I just not a smoker but I like to get where mild young women from you I like additionally their method or you big ideas for what it is a friendand because of its first live is is about the protocol on the lake got the Canon has to be that the negative booklets the first third have Marvin alliteration arriving not really come out to those candidates is a method think on that side of life in this pack will ship is billed as a backand had a like a camelbackand have a really a whole backlog at the top I talk about it yet so talking had to know when we first got on the street when this prop company building then we went out to Hollywood to fill in the moment put it on I swear got the 80 poundsand the moment put on all my fucking God how I can make it to this day I saw Dan come at the escalator to meet usand he was like holding it was this guy exaggerating how everything is I put it on other economic it to the state after five minutes the strap broke off our dates away is pretty dramaticand I went to go to like it was the height of the name LA while I was laying on the lawn that cheated you youand they know then yes that’s my by the way you should treat yourself yet I get I’m waiting I’m hoping honestly actually for us to go to Vegas I want to go aware that now that gets you really show me up the yeah I think I think Vegas is like my escape from the norm because I get to her fun stuff yeah I did have a time when I got I’m gonna buy a matching fit in with you I said if we rather have a kid red carpet event logo wearing matching Gucci checks it’s the super care he has a valid has a calendar the calendar that is forgiving as I’d say that story about I when I went like 95 grand you start with I think I have no case I was in Vegas like a nice anecdote I love now this is a niceand I’ve really added to this is great out from Vegas is a rare yeah yeah no it’s not nice Abby but it’s a great story of a nice story but it’s not nice items on because it is says shows a grandson of me I can do this I go in for the night using a like 15 grand ready go cash ready to playand so. Jesse Holmes of North Carolina pushing for years for anti gay restrictions in federal education law because the homosexuals are out to recruit in the schools in 1995 Congressman Pete Hoekstra’s committee convening hearings on parents schoolsand values hearings that impart investigated gas homosexual recruitment in the schools the proponents of proposition eight in California the proposition to rollback gay rights in that state making their case just last year as I fall down the slippery slope to make this argument Anita Bryant Jesse Helms random anti gay orator guy you make this argument they oppose gay people civil rights because the people are out to get them on facts like making the case were to save the children from the homosexuals who prey on them logical step to get the kids are going to protect the kids keep gays away from the kids keep gays from being declared normal protect people’s rights to fire people for being if they don’t work with them protect people’s right to pick something out of the housing for being if you don’t live near the children counteract the recruitment show homosexuality is wrong make homosexuality illegal sexuality have severe punishments severe punishment may be gay mind that is a logical fallacy the slippery slope if it really happens the arguments made by anti gay activists ultimately redound to serious legal proposals to kill people for being gay in October 2008 Uganda held its national prayer breakfast the national prayer breakfast is an event started by the family mostly known as the street here in the US powerful secretive religious organization in the US with ties to many members of Congress or the founders of Uganda’s national prayer breakfast a member of the familyand the idea of an event associated with that breakfast that you should have a gays law that homosexuality should be punishable by life in prison for the case of aggravated homosexuality should be punishable by death a few months later in March of last year’s the guy from the family who drafted the bill hosted a delegation of anti gay activists from the United States preachings of people are children right recruit in the schools also said nobody is stopped being a if they don’t want to be a learned behavior can be cured a few weeks after their visit to kill the case bill was introduced in while the anti gay populist pressand the country started campaigning this publication published a list of allegedly gay Ugandans along with in many cases their addressesand their photos is a small yellow banner underneath the word underneathand Uganda’s says because American connections to this the fact that the authors a member of the family which is tied a lot of American politicians thirsty streetand elsewhere because the result of publicity or criticism for the kill the case bill from our president’s secretary of state law to the politicians associated with the street is fairly widely believed because of the coverage of the Kelly gays thing is over it’s not its author expected to be voted on in a matter of weeks at its author is here in the United States promoting Anita Bryant’s old line that is only doing this to save the children the author of Uganda’s killed gays bill joins me at the bottom of the slippery slope next recently know basically anything about C St See Other related products: Sewing Tools That's What I Do I Sew And I Know Things Vintage Poster

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[sometimesrosy]

I think you’ve answered this before, but can you give advice on curating a positive environment for your fandom experience? As someone pretty sick of the Star Wars fandom complaining I need it. I’m just trying to enjoy a franchise I love for peete’s sake.

I think the key to creating your bubble is to understand what you want your fandom experience to be. Some people LIKE to fight and go on righteous crusades for their faves. Some people ENJOY the war. If you do not, don’t like attacking or being attacked so you can defend yourself, then when you see that, know that this does not belong in your bubble, even if everyone else is getting riled up. Scroll past, unfollow, filter, block. 

I think the other key to creating your bubble is accepting that other people do not like the same things you like and that’s okay. Whether a movie, a ship, or a way of fangirling. IMO, as long as people don’t interfere in other’s fun, then it’s free game. So posting a bad opinion on your blog? Go for it. I may unfollow, but enjoy your bad opinions, idc. HOWEVER posting your bad opinion on MY post to tell me I am wrong? NOPE. MYOB, make your own post. Get out of my bubble. Block. We need to allow people to have “wrong” ships and “wrong” theories. It’s not up to us what they believe just like it’s not up to them what we believe. If we think they’re fools, we should keep that to ourselves, probably not mention them by name, maybe in a PM or GC, but even then, do NOT get up a little gang of bullies who all hate what you hate. Is there really a need to give someone else you don’t agree with all your attention. (okay well maybe some people need an enemy to fuel their righteousness. block them. they’re creeps. and if you see someone doing it who you consider a friend, you might want to consider not being one of their sheep and backing away to find a more pleasant bubble.)

Scroll past posts you don’t like. You don’t have to agree with everything. It’s okay. You don’t have to argue with everything you disagree with. I have a 3 strikes rule for that. If I see 3 bad posts from someone, I unfollow them. If I see a great post from them, they get one of their strikes erased. 

Unfollow people who make you unhappy, who post things you don’t like, are negative, spread anti ideas, hate what you like. Even if you are mutuals, see if you can follow them on another blog, start a private message with them instead of following a blog that doesn’t make you happy, or maybe just let go of them if they aren’t that important to your life. You can tell them if you like, that you can’t follow negativity, and they might understand and you lose nothing but the negative posts.

Filter terms that trigger or upset you. Filter your NOTPs. I wish we could filter bloggers but I haven’t figured out a way to do that. If some people post people you’ve blocked a lot, consider unfollowing them. It’s not always great to be IN a fandom where everyone is spreading the things and people who bother you, so you may. have to sacrifice those follows.

Block people who are aggressive, bullying, mean, liars, manipulators. Beware the cult of personality, because some people like to create a group of followers who they can tell what to think and do. You may not be able to block all their followers, but you can see the ones who enjoy the bullying right away. You don’t have to wait until it is turned onto you.

Be careful of people who consider themselves positive. Watch what they do, not what they say, because I’ve joined groups that were supposed to be focused on positivity that ended up turning negative because they only meant “oh hey I like this so I’m positive.” But when they didn’t like something, they didn’t worry about being positive or letting it go. 

I have stepped away from a lot of fandom. I don’t engage in tumblr games. I don’t do fandom twitter at all because it’s so antagonistic and full of people complaining and demanding what they want. Ugh. I don’t debate people anymore, because even if the person I was debating can do so without attacking or anger or wars, there’s no guarantee that other people won’t get heated and start to declare someone immoral and unrighteous (I am so tired of this.) I should probably remind you that one of the problems with debate today is people don’t understand that ad hominem attacks, or defaming the debater’s character rather than focusing on their argument, is NOT debate. I like to debate. I don’t like what happens in fandom when people debate. They take sides. Make wars. That is outside my bubble so I had to let debate go. I have asked people not to hijack my posts to call me names or be an anti, and if they are unable to stop doing that, they get blocked. 

I have kept my ask box open and it is usually open to anons, but I have strict rules that shouldn’t be that hard to follow. No hate. No antis. Ship and let ship. Be respectful. I block people who break the rules. If people send nasty anons once, they tend to send them a lot and you don’t need to play. If i want to answer their ask, i will cut and paste it into a text post and block the anon. You can’t post an ask and then block. Some people screenshot them. If there are too many nasty anons, I will turn off anon for a while. 

OH THE TAGS. I never go to the tags. There is no way to cultivate any bubble there. STAY OFF THE TAGS. Follow people who post the kind of content you like. Do not get sucked in by tags for your ship or show that are negative and make you upset and defensive. If you need new content, look at the responses to a post you like and check out the blogs of people who say cool stuff. Scroll a bit to make sure they are not negative. Follow them. 

Oh also. Be careful of what you say. Be clear about how much you can handle, and what questions you’re willing to tackle. Even if you only talk about things you love, you can draw negativity. Some people REALLY get offended when you try to enjoy yourself. If you find yourself ranting or getting angry or posting something you know will rile up the fandom, step away from the computer and take a break and come back when you’re cooled down to see if you still feel that way, can say it better, or need to say it at all. The more sensitive a topic is, the longer it takes me to write it because I have to THINK about if I SHOULD say it. Hot takes are often hot messes. I wrote this post twice. The first one was too personal, and too much about what I went through in fandom and as such a bit bitter and antagonistic. 

I’ve done a lot to cultivate my bubble and yes it made fandom less fun. But also safer, less nerve wrecking. The anxiety of fandom was not good for my PTSD and anxiety and I recognized that I needed to take care of my mental health more than I needed to calm the fandom panic of strangers on the internet. 

It’s also wise to remember that fandom, while it is real social engagement, is about a work of fiction. This is NOT life or death. Those characters on screen are not real. When the show is over, no matter how it ends, whether you love it or hate it, it’s just a show. We can move on and separate ourselves from it, find something new to love. IF our identities are all wrapped up in the show, we might want to, for our own mental health, step back and remember that our world exists outside of fandom. Get obsessed about a different show. Take up a hobby. Meet new friends. Switch to reading for a while. Try something creative. Take up meditation or running or volunteering at the animal shelter. Anything.

#fandom #curating your bubble #this turned out to be more complicated to answer than i thought #i went in stages cutting things out of my bubble as they became a problem #now my bubble is very small #a smaller fandom that fits your needs is better than a large one full of ravening monsters who have no control over themselves

[unicamendes]

Remember

Shawn Mendes x Reader.

Summary: y/n remembers her first love and starts to reminisce.

Warnings: flashbacks, fluff, mention of death, some language, and reader hallucinating. p.s not proofread.

A/N: inspire by the song cavalier by James Vincent McMorrow and All I Want by Kodaline. I’m suppose to be writing part 2 for WR, but a bitch lied bc I was feeling annoyed with my writing and insecure about it. ha! idc anymore if its shitty or whatever, I’m just writing hah okay anyway enjoy! also this is just fictional I don’t want anything to happen to shawn or his family ! ALL FICTIONAL!

——

Shawn’s living room was crowded with family and friends, all dressed in black. you never thought this will happen to you or to his family, but that’s life, we die and well, we mourn, sometimes wondering if that loved one is in heaven, if there’s even a heaven. too many questions filled your mind, why did he have to go? why? why now? he was too young, he still had a life to live, to get married, to have kids, he talked about wanting kids with you, he always said that he was going to marry you, but that never came around, he was gone.

“y/n? can you help me with some stuff?” karen looks at you, her voice filled with sadness. you look up at her, nodding softly. you follow Karen’s steps, on the way you were being greeted with sympathetic smiles and looks, finally coming to a stop. you took notice that you were in front of his room. door closed.

“i have some boxes in there that I think you should look over, before...,” she takes a shallow breath, trying to compose herself from not crying, but failed as tears came down her cheeks. “before I send it to the storage.” she says voice breaking. you fiddled with your promise ring that he gave you on your fourth anniversary. the memory of that day still fresh on your mind.

-

“Shawn, where are you exactly taking me?” you giggle, his hand covering your eyes.

“patience, my girl.” he chuckles at your impatience. you never really liked surprises, and you were outside, the cold air causing you to get goosebumps. which made you more agitated.

“Shawn, im cold, can you please tell me where are we?” you shiver in between your words. shawn takes his hand away, looking down on you with a smile. a warm loving smile.

“okay open them.”

you open your eyes, and you gasp in adoration, bringing a hand to cover your mouth. it was beautiful, so fucking beautiful.

it was perfect, lights surrounded around the white tent, a table for two, rose petals scattered all over the floor, candles lit, champagne placed on the table and food set, and the sunset was beautiful, you always wanted to look at the sunset just the two of you, alone. Shawn had a huge smile and his eyes shimmer with happiness. happy that you loved it.

“you always told me you wanted to see the sunset, so.., here it is.” shawn gesture his arms out, with a chuckle leaving his mouth.

you face shawn, your eyes flooded with tears, your hand still hovering your mouth, but quickly removed it. you jumped onto him, hugging him tightly. he adjust his legs trying not to fall back, because you literally jumped yourself on him without no warning. he embraced you, arms tightly around you.

“i love you so, so, so fucking much! thank you!” your words muffled, you sure loved this man, he’s your happiness. your everything.

“anything for you my love. now let’s go eat, before the food gets cold.” he joked, letting you go down slowly.

The sunset had gone down now, leaving you guys to enjoy the stars that were glimmering on the night sky, you had also finished your food and now you guys were enjoying each other’s company. like you always do, but shawn seemed nervous, rubbing his hands on his thighs, kept glancing over at you here and then.

“everything alright, love?” you furrow your eyebrows in worried, looking over at him. Shawn stops his actions, to give his full attention to you.

“yeah, why? are you..alright?” he stammers.

“yes, but you seem nervous. like nervous, when you’re about to go on stage, nervous.” you explain, “you sure you’re alright?”

shawn mumbles something not catching onto his words, but he gets up from his chair and gets on one knee.

oh!

He was having trouble to get what he needed to get out of his pocket. clumsy and dorky shawn. he nervously chuckled. After how many minutes went by he finally took out, a velvet box, but to only drop it on the floor. you giggle at his clumsiness. he retreated back to his hand.

“ha, sorry. just fucking nervous, aha.” he apologize, taking a deep breath. “Okay. here it goes.., y/n I love you so much. you are my best friend, my love, my sunshine and my everything. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, want to grow old with you, want you to have my kids someday and want you to be my wife, this ring.,” he opens the velvet box, to show a silver diamond ring,”this ring is a promise to you, that I will always be there for you and that everything I just said is a promise. so, y/n, do you accept?” his hands shaking with nerves, keeping eye contact with you. waiting for an answer.

“yes! you silly!” your face was bright, fully blissful. Shawn takes the ring out of the box, and sliding it onto your ring finger on your left hand. Shawn gets up, cheeks rosy, blowing a breath out, makes you think he was holding it.

“for second I thought you were going to say no.” he laughs. you tilted your head confusion covering your face.

“please, for you..,anything.” you tease, wiggling your eyebrows. “but seriously, that was cute, besides you being clumsy..,” you quipped, earning a roll of eyes from shawn. “kidding my love..,I loved it. I love you.” Your tone now serious.

shawn leans, placing a sweet kiss to your lips.

you were happy. both of you.

——-

You smile softly at the memory of it. karen looks at you, placing her hand on your lower back.

“shawn would want you to keep some of his stuff, knowing how much he adored you.” she sniffles, mixed with a low chuckle. “ill give you some privacy, if you need anything, I’ll be here, your family.” you thanked Karen, before she left to attend the rest of the people.

you took a deep breath, slowly opening the door, and you were found with the smell of him and how the room didn’t change the last time you were here, which was a few days ago. he left it how you always hated it. messy, clothes scattered on his bed and his laptop still open. nothing changed. your eyes roamed around the room, and you catch a glimpse of the boxes karen was talking about, they were near the closet, hiding in the corner of the nightstand. you walked over to them picking one up and placing it to the bed. you hesitate to open it, your hand feeling the cardboard.

“just open it.” you muttered. you carefully opened it, to reveal his hoodies and some polaroid pictures of you and him and some of family and friends, all them were showing his beautiful smile, you take some the pictures looking closely at them, but one caught your eye. it was a picture of you and him laughing, cake all over his face,it was taken on his 19th birthday party, which you threw a surprise birthday party for him at his condo. you heart ache at the sudden memory.

-

you rush over to the door, quickly turning off the lights, hushing up everyone. “be quiet. he’s coming.” you backed away from the door once your heard keys being push to the keyhole. Finally opening the door, Shawn enter , turning on the lights.

“Surprise!!” everyone hollered with excitement. shawn jumped from the sudden outburst, hand on his chest feeling his heartbeat. “holy shit! you guys almost gave me a heart attack!” he laughs. they laughed at his remark.

“happy birthday, Shawn!” one of his friends yelled.

“who’s idea was this?” shawn ask, genuinely curious.

“your girlfriend, it was all her!” brian points at you. Shawn turns around and boy was he happy to see you after two months of not seeing each other, you had told him that you won’t be able to come and visit him due to school.

“you liar! you said you couldn’t visit me because of school.” he pretends to be mad at you for lying to him. he walks over to you, carrying you off your feet, spinning you around. he was happy, that he’s love is here with him, on his special day. you giggle, cupping his face, giving him a kiss.

“alright, we get it you’re in love. now can we start the party?” brian says in disgust, face scrunched up. shawn puts you down, a smile still plastered on his face.

“don’t hate, appreciate.” shawn’s arms wrapped around your shoulders, as you both walked. he looks over his shoulder, “don’t just stand there, let’s get this party started!” his laughter filled the condo. everyone cheered.

———

You put the picture back with the rest, closing the box, putting it a side, as you grab for the other, struggling since it was heavy. you didn’t hesitate this time and opened it and some of his awards and trophies were inside, but a small black velvet box stood out with note stick to it, you knitted your eyebrows.

Weird.

You grab the black velvet box, taking the sticky note off, reading it.

to the love of my life. -shawn

your eyes were getting watery, as you read over the note, his messy writing that you missed, you opened the box, to reveal a square blue diamond ring, you gasp in shock,, the ache in your heart grew. he was going to proposed. you let yourself break down, tears were coming down fast, chest rising and falling from the heavy breathing, clenching onto the black velvet box, sobbing uncontrollably. you took a seat on the bed, laying yourself down, positioning your knees pressed together, clinging onto yourself, his clothes hitting your face, which made you cry even more, his scent was still there.

“shawn.., why’d you leave me?” you cried out in pain. “can’t do this alone. I need you.” you breath out.

you felt a touch on your cheek, brushing off your tears. “it’s okay. im here.” you heard his voice, your breath quickened, snapping yourself up.

“Shawn?” you ask, waiting for an answer, but only met with silence.

-

“i love you.” shawn looks at you one last time, before closing his eyes. you were holding his hand, yelling at him to keep his eyes open. you were begging.

“Shawn, baby, please don’t.., Shawn, no, please, god, no! No! No!” you cried out. your hands were covered in blood, not yours, his. You called the ambulance, but they were taking too long. you yelled in anger and sadness. He was gone. The love of your life was gone just like that.

“I love you too, Shawn.” you whispered to his ear, kissing his cheek. “Always.”

#shawn mendes #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes x yn #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes au #shawn mendes blurbs #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes memes #sm3 #boyfriend!shawn #plz read #if you want to #send me ask about it or rant to me

[mardymaid]

11 questions from @ienthuse that were too interesting to refuse, although took me so long to answer I nearly lost them in my drafts. 

1) Do you prefer the book or the movie adaptation? Does it matter which you experience first, and are there any exceptions to your 'rule’? No rules. Those I can think of, I liked them both and think they add to each other. What I like best varies: Harry Potter nice films but better books.  ‘Do Androids..’ was good but the original Blade Runner really stole my heart.  2001 well they were both pretty cool I just can’t decide.  

2) If you could be fluent in one language other than your native language(s), what would it be and why? Anything! I mean if you were to wave a wand and say pick one, then I’d want to choose something a bit different but also relevant to my interests so maybe Japanese. But really if you were waving a wand I might ask for a universal linguistic cipher please. I find language really fascinating but practically problematic.  

3) Do you read a physical newspaper or magazine? If not, an online one Physical: these days rarely, except in the library at work when I need to step away from things. I was a complete magazine addict both impulse buyer and multiple subscriber and every freebie, but refused to throw them away. It was a habit that didn’t go down well at home. So I gave it up for domestic harmony. Online: bits and pieces when something interests me.

4) Kind of like mardymaid’s magic dress-up question above: if, via a magic wand or some such, you could borrow the musical talents (voice, skill with a particular instrument) of anyone for a night, who would it be? The cello like Jacqueline Du Pre. I’ve romanticised bowed instruments since a child. Tried to learn the violin at 6 or 7, loved the thing, the sound that other people could make with it, the look, the wood, the bow the rosin, the cool case it came it. I was so excited when I started learning and practised every day - got yelled at a lot by my family to please stop making that awful racket - gave it up after 4 months.

5) If you could do a(nother) degree in *any* subject, no entry grades required, no fees to pay, no cost of living to worry about, what would it be? (or say if you would rather do anything but that!) Philosophy. Whenever anyone talks to me enthusiastically about their subject I want to do whatever they are talking about, but Philosophy I’ve always wanted to do. I considered a joint degree in it and often look longingly at course outlines and reading lists.  I think it marries the language and logic processing parts of us beautifully. 

6) Real flowers or silk flowers? I like flowers in the garden. Occasionally I like to cut some and put them in a jar, but then I just leave them too long and sort of get into the ‘aesthetic’ of them ‘fading away’. It’s not very guest friendly so probably best to just keep leave them growing. I don’t really regard shop bought flowers very positively. It’s probably an anti-traditional romance related thing but I (totally hypocritically) blame it on the carbon cost. 

7) What’s your favourite genre? Do you like the same genre best whether you’re watching something or reading it? Loosely science fiction. Maybe only because it actually contains many genres (Action/Drama/Romance) within it. Or maybe just because I’m willing to put up with a lot of imperfections for a fresh take on something.

8) Would you rather have one jacket and one pair of boots that lasted forever, or have to change to different ones each day? Definitely the perfect jacket and boots forever please (I hate looking for new stuff)! But it would have to be really perfect.

9) Do you have a 'favourite’ planet in the solar system? (idc what status you assign to Pluto, but show your working). Well Earth I guess!  But if this is disallowed on poetic grounds then Saturn. Loved from when I was very young which I think is pretty common, the rings do tend to entice. Having spent nearly my whole academic career working in close proximity with some of the Cassini team, I would have to add 'and it’s moons’ to that now. 

10) Do you prefer typing or writing things by hand? Is there ever a time when your answer would be reversed? They serve different purposes for me. I find writing by hand more creative - I have a longstanding notebook fetish that could be a (very dull) post in itself. So writing by hand is definitely better for brainstorming, taking personal notes, poetry and the perfect paragraph or a single exciting scene. I find typing (a) significantly faster and (b) more rigorous / comprehensive. So best for taking minutes that will be distributed, filling out the story around those paragraph and scenes, writing the full report. All the stuff I just couldn’t be bothered to do by hand. Notebook and pen/pencil is also a must for working stuff out, planning in general, all equations when you don’t what the answer is and geometry. 

11) What is a (not necessarily the) favourite quote or scene of dialogue, either from a movie or book?  I’m a incurable dialogue quoter so that could go on. So I’ll stick to scenes. Generally it’s things that hint at a hidden story beyond the film and give a real sense of atmosphere. Examples: the cantina scene in ‘A New Hope’, the opening landscape scenes in ‘Betty Blue’, the disturbing Booth/Vallens (Hopper/Rossellini) scene with the oxygen mask in Blue Velvet (I’d didn’t say they had to be nice hidden stories) and the people being consumed by geology in Barbarella. Ok I may be wandering into the odd here, but you get the point, stuff that intrigues and hints at a world you don’t understand beyond the film you see.

So I’m just answering not asking new stuff but if anyone else wants to do these questions  (including the question setter) do tell. 

#apologies for this taking 350 years to get round to answering #interesting questions #and questionable answers #tumblr tricksandnonsense #in chains

[dreadhaus-literature]

Bye Bye, Decade!

Like I said, I like doing these things. ✧٩(ˊωˋ*)و✧

First things first, did you have a good year?

Uhm, haha, to be honest, no! No, I don’t think this year was one for the record. It was one of the harder years I’ve experienced in the past decade, especially the latter half. I’ve said it recently but I haven’t felt right since May/June.

Lost some spring in my step this year. Still trying to find it again.

How old did you turn this year?

I turned 30! Pretty neat, actually, felt super...idk, official? Felt good to be out of my 20′s, anyway.

Do you feel your age?

To be honest, I don’t really know what “30″ is supposed to feel like. I’ve never made a huge deal about my age, I just act how I feel any given moment of any given day.

Did your appearance change in anyway?

I went full mohawk this year, but that was earlier in the year. I’m growing my hair back out, now.

It’s looking a little untamed, actually. ƪ(‾ε‾“)ʃ

If you traveled, where did you go?

I went to Chicago over the Summer.

What was your favorite article of clothing this year? Post a pic if possible?

I’m too lazy to get up and get it but I got a “Mama Bear” shirt for myself a couple months ago and it’s currently my favorite piece of clothing, just because that’s...well, that’s the best part about myself, I think. Being the Mom friend.

What song sums up this year for you?

“LIFE” by HEALTH.

If I can ever stop cutting myself, I want to get the lyric, “Life is strange, but it’s all we’ve got,” over the scars.

What album came out and has been on heavy rotation since then?

VOL.4 :: SLAVES OF FEAR by HEALTH

What was your favorite movie of the year?

Oh, pfft, Captain Marvel!!! Or Endgame, even though it shattered my heart into a billion pieces.

Still love you, Thanos. (♥ω♥*) Idc what the rest of the fandom says.

Did an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year?

Yeah, Brie Larson. I mean she was amazing in Skull Island but I watched that movie for King and Tom, but she was 10000/10 choice for Carol and finding out she’s so pro-feminism and just civil rights in general really made me fall for her in a big way.

Favorite new TV show?

The Mandalorian really surprised the fuck out of me for holding my attention, and though I’ve only seen the first ep, the new Harley Quinn show was really funny.

Oh, Bless the Harts, too. Surprisingly hilarious.

Which new ship/fandom has taken over a lot of your time, attention, and tears?

I don’t ship, but I got deeper into DC this year, really integrating it alongside Marvel now and that’s been nice. ♥

What food did you try for the first time?

Oh man, I tried these uhm...Chinese-style pancakes (savory, not sweet) in Chicago and right now I can’t think of what they were called but it made me regret my baby tummy, because I wanted to just sit and eat them until I exploded.

Did you make any big permanent changes this year?

Nah, I don’t think I did. Nothing comes to mind anyway.

What was one nice thing you did for someone else?

Well, just over the weekend was Bestie’s birthday, and I was pretty pleased with how that turned out. ( ᐛ )و She seemed happy, anyway!

What was one nice thing you did for yourself?

(」゜ロ゜)」i...don’t know. Not cut myself?

Did you develop a new obsession?

New? I don’t think so, I’m pretty...hm. Idk the word, I hyper-focus on my stuff and that’s pretty much where I sit.

To put it in a perspective, I’m fine playing with my same ol’ toys, I don’t tend to go back to the toy box to find new ones. Besides, with the fandoms I’ve got, there’s always some new, under-appreciated gem waiting to surge back up to the forefront.

Did you vote?

Nah, ‘rents tried but I couldn’t be fucked. I worked.

I’ll go out for 2020.

Did you move?

(;¬_¬)

Did you get a job?

Yeah. Not much to write home about, there.

Did you get a pet?

I did not! I had the opportunity to get half-sphynx kittens from a friend but Phoenix doesn’t get along with other cats and I refuse to put her through that again. She was miserable the first time I tried and with my current living arrangement and not being home to monitor...it wouldn’t have worked.

Do you regret not doing anything?

Like every other goddamn year of my life, I should have written more.

Do you regret doing something?

Actually, yeah. I thought I didn’t have anything to put here, I tend to lead a pretty well-thought out life, I think about everything before I do it, but I do have a regret from this year.

I regret giving up on writing as much as I did.

I didn’t have to, but I did. I knew I’d look back on the last year and have this regret and I was right. I kicked ass at the beginning of the year and then I let my environment influence me to give up when I could have, should have, kept going.

Have you done anything that scared you?

Nah, that’s not who I am. Mom friend, remember?

Did anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days?

Haha...yeah. Grudge holder with infinite memory storage and rumination/over-thinking habits and a god-awful family.

Bad combo.

Did you lose anyone close to you?

I don’t have enough people close enough to me for this to really apply, so no.

Did you fall in love?

With fictional characters? Yep.

With a real person? No.

Did you fall out of love?

No one to fall out of love with, unless you want to count re-reading the Civil War and me glaring at Steve and Tony for a month and a half.

Did you start a new relationship?

There’s new characters lining the walls of my brain but otherwise, nah, son. Reality and I don’t really cross paths as far as “relationships” go.

If you could have a do over on one thing you did, would you take it?

Yeah, I want a chance to redo this writing thing. Every year I let go without doing anything productive toward my goals of either enjoying my fandoms or working on getting published seems like such a waste to me and I hate it.

I work a job I hate, I’m stuck financially, and the one thing I know I want to do with my life...I’m not doing. It’s so fucking stupid it makes me cross-eyed when I think how often I just shrug and not do shit.

What was the best moment of the year for you?

It’s going to sound stupid, but Captain Marvel was a huge deal for me. I cried watching the red carpet premiere and I cried twice in the theater. I love Carol, I’ve loved Carol for years and years and I never thought the MCU would do well enough for me to get a movie that was all hers. To see her up there, to see Brie Larson portraying her and doing it so well, it was a huge deal to me. It still is.

I still feel that excitement.

What was the worst?

I’m not elaborating anymore than to say May/June was the lowest I’ve been in a long, long time.

What are you most proud of accomplishing?

I haven’t cut myself this year.

What have you learned about yourself this year that you didn’t know in the years prior?

That just when you think you can’t take it anymore, that you’re at the end of the rope...there’s still a little left. You can still go a little further.

Did your opinion of anyone change for the better?

Haha, yeah. I understand Steve Rogers more the second read-through of Civil War than I did the first time I went through it.

I still would have hit him in the head with his own shield, but, you know, the scales are more even between him and Tony, now.

Did your opinion of anyone change for worse?

Nah.

If you make resolutions, did you complete them this year?

Lol. I made a resolution to write every day at the beginning of the year and for three solid months, yeah, I wrote every day.

But then I stopped.

If you make resolutions, what will your resolutions be for the coming year?

Write.

I mean it. Write.

Take care of yourself.

Aim for Two Years.

Get back on medication.

What do you wish for others for the coming year?

Happiness. It’s cheesy, maybe even cliche, but it’s the hardest thing in the world to get and harder to hang onto. And in the end, really it’s all that matters.

What do you wish for yourself?

The same. Happiness.

It’s about time I got some.

#{A/N} : personal

[rosy-writes]

Writing Process: The Tortoise and the Hare (I’m both)

I had a good day writing yesterday. 2806 words by the time I shut the computer at 10 pm. It’s pretty common for me to have a good day on the first day of nanowrimo, before the long slog sets in, while i’m still excited and have the ideas fresh in my mind.

I’m writing my sequel for nanowrimo, but as a nano rebel, I’m actually also using this time to write the ending of the last novel (which I stalled on about three months ago) and allowing the momentum to carry me through into the next book. And I’ve spent 3 months not writing that story.

I was very frustrated coming to the end of that story, and couldn’t finish. But I’ve been thinking about it, ever since then. I’ve been mulling it over. I’ve been reading it over. I’ve been getting ideas for how to finish.

But even with the ideas, I did not write them. I waited. I let them percolate. Along with the idea on how to finish, I got the sudden inspiration to write the sequel for nano, just last month. I’d been planning to skip nano this year. So I wrote some outline notes (very sketchy) and continued to wait without writing. I call this the “hushing and holding” phase. Or “fallow period.” 

It’s silent, but it’s growing. 

Part of my writing process... perhaps THE writing process, I’m not sure if it’s necessary for everyone or just many of us... is NOT writing. I require times of silence and contemplation. Sometimes before I have a story. Sometimes when my story is going well and I just need to go deep. Sometimes when I am stuck and need to work out tangles that my conscious, actively writing mind can’t figure out. 

I almost feel bad having such a good day for nanowrimo, because I know not everyone does, andI don’t want to make the slower paced writers feel like they are doing it wrong. Because they’re not. 

There are many different writing processes, and going slow and steady is just as valid as writing binges where the word count is racked up. Writing fast and furious without the internal editor is just as valid as writing carefully and slowly and choosing the exact words as you go. Even with someone who DOES write fast, like me, I go through periods in my writing process where there is no writing. Or the words come slowly. Or I’m all about planning. Or I’m all about revision. Or I have to skip around from story to story. Or I’m writing non fiction. Or I’m drawing. 

My three months of non-writing or slow writing are just as valuable as the times when I binge on 50k in a month. And to be honest, forcing myself to write TOO MUCH is not good for my long term writing process. I write better when I write a little bit more slowly. Nanowrimo pushes the outer edges of my comfortable writing pace (about 1200 words a day according to this past year which I am quite pleased about.) No matter how much of an adrenaline rush I might get from hitting 5k in a day, it is generally not sustainable and if I push for it, can lead to a full stop on my writing process. And no matter how disappointed I might feel on those days when my word count is only in the hundreds, that slower pace is still moving me forward.

So here’s the thing. Stop comparing yourself to other writers. Stop seeing what they did and looking at your process as wrong. If you wrote. You wrote. And those words add up. If you only had time to write in 15 minutes sessions, those bits add up. If you wrote 90 minutes in the morning and none at all after. That adds up. If you had to work and couldn’t hit your word count, recognize that your life might not look like other people’s lives, and you might have more time and focus on the weekends, where you get to catch up. If you write better with other people around. Go to a cafe. If you write better alone, hole up in your room with your computer under the cover. If you’re not doing nano at all because the pressure and competition doesn’t work for you... DON’T DO IT. Screw competing. Unless competing really gets your juices flowing THEN COMPETE. Try to beat someone’s word count. IDC. DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU.

Here’s the trick... you have to write in order to figure out what’s good for you, though. So do your writing. Do nano or don’t. Don’t feel bad about not being like other people, instead, look at the ways you’re not like other people and say, okay that doesn’t work for me BUT THIS DOES, so I’m going to do THIS like me, not THAT like you, because this is my process, not yours. 

#the writing process #writing #a marathon not a sprint #nanowrimo #writeblr #writing process #comparison