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#it was like one of my most popular poems too

ghostofhyuck · 3 months

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NCT Dream as romcom male lead

Mark Lee ; a ONS that you met again.

Meeting Mark would probably be a funny occurrence. It'll be at a random bar, or an event, both of you are very drunk and flirted the whole night and ended up having a one night stand. He then wakes up to you gone. You're convinced that it's just a random one night stand but behold, you met him again. He's either your boss at the company who hired you recently or a close friend of the couple of the wedding you attended. Now the two of you are trying to avoid each other but the tension's there.

Huang Renjun ; holiday romance male lead.

Holiday romance are underrated! Renjun owns that small hotel in the middle of the town. You're a stranded girl who couldn't take the last train due to snow storm, so you have to book a hotel room. Renjun's accommodating, very accommodating that it felt like a special treatment now. At first, it was awkward and you're trying to create boundaries, but it doesn't exist in Renjun's vocabulary. "You're staying in MY hotel," he said. But soon, you get to enjoy your holiday in that small town and falls in love with Renjun eventually.

Lee Jeno ; stranger who you met by fate.

It's that cliche first meeting where the moment the two of you made an eye contact, sparks happened. It may be in a train or on a busy carnival, it just happen that you two immediately reconnected. Jeno immediately approached you and asked for your number or for a date, which you agreed. You two clicked immediately and dated a numerous times. You thought that he's the one but conflict will arise, like you two getting into a huge fight, but don't worry, you two will end up together and grow old together.

Lee Donghyuck ; that office worker that you loathe the most.

This is a serious case of enemies to lovers. You hate Donghyuck up to his very guts because first: he's a competitive asshole who likes to compete with you, even if it's not necessary, and two: he's insanely good-looking that you get flustered whenever you two fight. You just know that you two will never get a long, but a project will force you two to work together and it was disastrous at first, but you two realized that you two are compatible, and at some point like each other. The project was successful but Donghyuck's more successful because he got to get you as his girlfriend at the end.

Na Jaemin ; childhood friend who's unreachable.

You're childhood friends with Jaemin, but not literally. Your parents are closed so you two are acquainted with each other. He's nice, good-looking, and popular. He's also mysterious and probably a jock. A lot of girls likes him and you had a crush at him at some point, but it quickly fell off when you realized that he will never like you. But deep inside, Jaemin likes you! he just doesn't have the courage to approach you, so he ended up like he's ignoring you.

Zhong Chenle ; popular guy in school who you don't find attractive.

Chenle is that popular guy in school who everyone loves. He's nice, friendly, and good-looking. You're that quiet girl who only has a few friends and you're okay with it. Until Chenle approached you one day and asked for a favor. Probably a school project or something to do with helping him write a poem or letter. At first, you're doing it for the money, but the more you hangout with Chenle, the more you find out that he's a genuine guy who is popular for some reason. You'll develop a crush on him but plot twist: Chenle liked you first.

Park Jisung ; best friend who you thought was "platonic."

Jisung is that best friend of yours since birth. You two witnessed each other's first and are like siblings at some point. You two watched each other date other people and complication arised when you realized that you're in love with Jisung. It'll be during that time when you learn that Jisung's already engaged to someone. But in the end, he realized that he also loves you and goes after you. (Whatever happened to his ex-fiance, idk too, that's the romcom formula.)

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angelsheartts · 5 months

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𝜗𝜚 LOVE LANGUAGE ! ~

#pairing : venti, albedo, kaeya, diluc, aether, bennett, razor, mika, x gn reader.

#cw : none, it’s pure fluff.

#note: this is my first time posting on tumblr, if there are any grammatical mistakes my bad 'cause english isn’t my first language so yeah. If someone is interested my requests are open!!

࿔ ˚. VENTI .

words of affirmation are definitely his love language!! he would sing songs to you, especially if he's drunk at Angel's Share, making you leave the tavern from embarrassment and making him follow you like a puppy. he would also braid your hair by putting flowers in it while reciting the love poems he wrote about you.

࿔ ˚. ALBEDO .

giving gifts is his love language; he would probably, no, he has a sketchbook full of sketches of you, and he will definitely gift them to you, his beloved s/o! it‘s an easy way to show you his affection when his words aren’t enought to express his feelings.

࿔ ˚. KAEYA .

physical touch; he would love to show you off in a nonverbal form, such as holding your waist or teasing you with his cold hands. this guy would be extra cuddly if you started stroking his hair or if you burried your face into his chest while cuddling.

࿔ ˚. DILUC .

physical touch would be his love language. i think he’s a little shy about his feelings and he would probably get teased because of that (specially from kaeya), so he has other ways to show you his affection by being a gentleman !! he would press kisses along your knuckles; he would also surprise you with flowers and brush your hair behind your ear before he starts kissing every single part of your face.

࿔ ˚. AETHER .

words of affirmation. we all know he’s quite popular so there will be times where you are going to be jealous but i can assure you he would never do anything like that! he loves you too much and will always tell you such sweet things when you both are on an adventure or when you’re braiding his hair. he will also talk to you about how much he wants you to meet his sister. that’s literally all the evidence you need to know that he’s head over heels for you!!

࿔ ˚. BENNETT .

quality time is his love language; he appreciates that you still go with him on adventures, even though of his bad luck. adventures with him always end up 'bad' in the way that it’s not the way he planned it, but you just laugh, telling him that it was one of the best, most memorable, and amazing adventures you had!!

࿔ ˚. RAZOR .

physical touch or acts of service, i’m 100% sure about that, he literally lives with wolves, so he would nuzzle your nose, would hunt things for you just so you give him a head pat, and at first he would lick your face, making you go red like a tomato, so you started telling him to give you kisses instead of just licking your face lmao.

࿔ ˚. MIKA .

mika's love languague would be quality time; he loves spending time with you, and he loves when you both cuddle, but he’s just too shy to make the first move! he loves your presence, and by wanting to spend time with him, it makes his heart all flustered. At the end of your hangouts, though, he would be the one to give you a kiss or hold your hand.

#genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin impact fluff #venti x reader #albedo x reader #kaeya x reader #diluc x reader #aether x reader #bennett x reader #razor x reader #mika x reader #genshin impact x reader #love language #quality time #physical touch #words of affirmation #giving gifts #receiving gifts #acts of service

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impactedfates · 9 months

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You're taking requests?

Could I request your opinions on how Jing Yuan, Blade and Dan Heng confess to their crush please? Modern School AU if you don't mind :D

A/N: Yes yes, I am taking requests, and I don't mind at all doing a Modern School AU! Thank you for the request (and being my first request lol) and I hope you like this :)) I also wrote how I believe they would've met you and/or fell in love <3

Jing Yuan is most certainly one of the more popular boys at school. With his charming smile and pretty face. It's no wonder he got a good handful or more admirers. Let's be honest, you probably are also one of the admirers right? (Or not, who knows)

I can picture Jing Yuan and yourself being childhood friends. His feelings developed when you two were young, and what he thought would disappear in fact grew the more the two of you hung out. Oh but he is absolutely NOT complaining at all. It's you, if he wanted to be in love with anyone it'll be you.

Perhaps during a quiet and peaceful moment, where he would lay his head on your lap after an especially tiring day at school, he'd close his eyes to rest, feeling your fingers play with his hair. He'd mumble out a soft "I love you" as he drifted off to sleep.

He's not even embarrassed when you bring it up to him once he awakes. Just confirms what he said and even specifies that he 'like likes' you.

Blade seems like that one quiet kid in class, but instead of being bullied, people are scared of him. One glance from him and people may shy away. It's tiring to him when he just wants to ask for a pencil or something but he doesn't care really. He has his own small friend group anyways. However when you are partnered up with him and don't shy away from his glance and treat him as a regular person. He can't help but feel a bit surprised.

He couldn't even help falling in love with you due to how kind you were and in general how you treated him normally among other factors. Assuming the two of you became close enough to be friends. I think his way of confessing wouldn't even be him, I don't think he'd confess, not really. I feel like he'd be afraid to be rejected or just not care too much about his feelings, though Kafka for sure noticed how Blade acted a lot softer when you were around. Even if it was unnoticeable by others, you think she wouldn't notice?

On Valentines day at school she would plant flowers and chocolate in your locker or on your desk, sign it off as a secret admirer and request to meet behind the school. And with the help of SilverWolf, convince Blade to go behind the school at the time you'd be there.

With you looking at him softly and the gifts "he got for you" in hand, and the snickers of his friends from behind a nearby corner. It seems he may as well be honest with you about his feelings right?

Dan Heng is also a quiet kid in class. I feel like he'd have a mix of people who secretly talk behind his back, though he always knows what they said and who they are no matter how discrete they try to be. But also he would have admirers. (have you seen how pretty he is??)

I think what would've got his attention on you is when you stood up for him. Some kids were talking bad about him during a free class, and he was going to shrug it off like always when you suddenly called the kids out. He's quick to step in before a loud arguments ensues but gives you a small thanks. He didn't mind what people thought about him but the fact someone who was practically a stranger to him stood up for him? He definitely acknowledges that.

March 7th probably introduced you too the friend group, he gave a small nod hi as he saw you. Due to this, you two hung out more and more together. When he realised he grew feelings for you, he consulted March who almost instantly outed his feelings for you due to how surprised and happy she was for him. And although March tried, none of her suggestions to confess was really Dan Hengs taste or style...He eventually decided to just write a small poem for you to confess instead. Giving it to you after school before retreating to his own house.

First time writing for HSR characters, hopefully it's alright aha. Proof read but I tend to miss things anyways, so feel free to correct me if I missed anything :)

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loneberry · 7 months

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"Attar is one of the greatest poets of the Persian language. Nonetheless, his popularity - both in Iran itself and in the West (Goethe, for example, touched on him only briefly in his West-Eastern Divan) - does not match that of Ferdowsi (d. 1020), Omar Khayyam (d. c.1132), Rumi, Saadi (d. 1292) or Hafiz (d. 1389); occasionally he is even omitted from the line of seven Persian poet-princes in favour of Jami (d. 1492). One possible reason for this is that the composition of his poetry is too artful, too complex to be effective in the town squares and teahouses, while at the same time, many of his stories and figures may seem too coarse, too folk-like and too sarcastic to be at the forefront of the high spiritual literature cultivated at courts in former times and in middle-class households today. Attar’s poetry, on the other hand, is far less stilted than that of most Persian poets but, rather, unadorned, clear and immediate. The pain it expresses is not spiritually filtered as in Rumi, far less metaphysically elevated than in Saadi, and not sublimated into pleasure as in Omar Khayyam - where Hafiz turns the earthly into the mystical, Attar strips mysticism down to its leaden, earthly foundation in order to scream his longing to the heavens." --Navid Kermani, The Terror of God: Attar, Job and the Metaphysical Revolt

I asked my professor which masnavi (Persian epic poem) he thinks is the greatest ever written. He replied, Rumi's Masnavi (the only masnavi Rumi wrote). Shock. How can there be a masnavi greater than Attar's Conference of the Birds? (There are 4 authentic Attar masnavis; sadly, as far as I know, Conference of the Birds is the only one that has been translated into English.) Reading through Rumi's masnavi I think I am still team Attar. It's Attar's coarseness I love--he is a poet of mad saints and freaks. In Rumi's Masnavi, the absence of a frame story and the pious/didactic tone is somewhat of a barrier for me. The pieces don't quite hang together, whereas Attar's Conference of the Birds is intricately structured--there are stories within stories within stories, each bird with its idiosyncratic psychology--a narrative arc that mirrors the journey of the soul across the seven valleys. But maybe there is a difference between reading a sufi text for its poetry rather than religious instruction, I don't know.

#attar #Rumi #persian poetry #poetry #literature #masnavi #Navid Kermani #islam #islamic mysticism #islamic literature #mysticism #sufism #sufi literature

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queengiuliettafirstlady · 4 months

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Love Booth Challenge

Love Booth for underrated characters.

Ikemen version

Hello and welcome to my first challenge. I am proud to present to you the Love Booth challenge, a month long exploration of love for the underrated characters of the Ikemen games.

General Rules

Works and art of all forms are welcome! Fanarts, fanfics, headcanons, moodboards, playlists and everything you can manage to think of is included.

Limited to Ikemen fandoms and to certain suitors, due to popularity of some characters more than others I have decided to host a challenge exclusively for the less appreciated.

I had this idea since forever what took me so long to post it was the creations of the prompts I created in association with my lovely friend MO @xxsycamore.

I did my best to include most of the less loved characters from the Ikemen games exclusively with an English version.

That said if you think about other less popular characters, belonging to one of these games or to other Ikemen games that are not out in English yet, You are allowed to use these prompts as inspiration.

The main focus is to show love to characters not so loved by the fandom/game all year around without limit for this reason I won't make a masterlist.

When posting your works, use the tag #love booth challenge - you can as well tag me @queengiuliettafirstlady in your posts! It will help find other creations for those interested to check them out.

Posting to other sites is allowed - as long as you mention the challenge and its creators.

Reblogs are appreciated!

Content Rules

This challenge features a list of prompts, and dialogue prompts which you can match to your liking, if you want to. You can create more than one work for the same prompt, too!

Under the cut, you will find the prompts linked to the characters included in the challenge, that can be mixed up with prompts from other challenges happening around the fandom in the same month.

Any additional rules are up to the artists. You are free to choose the rating (make sure to mark your NSFW works accordingly, and if you’re minor, make sure not to interact with such!), and also the genre (the challenge’s main focus is romantic love, but it is not obligatory for your work to be of such genre), all characters and ships included are up to you (OCs, character x MC, character x character, etc.)

You’re free to take requests from your audience using these prompt lists, again please make sure to mention the challenge and its creator.

You’re absolutely free to post your works for this challenge whenever you feel like.

The final and most important rule is to have fun and not pressure yourself about full completion of the challenge. Do only as many works as you wish! :)

Here is a free-to-use banner/header for the challenge!

If you have any additional questions, I’ll be happy to help. There is no such thing as a stupid question, so don’t hesitate to get in contact with us! I wish you happy creating!

THE LISTS

Ikemen Vampire

Dazai - Storyteller - A walk under the cherry trees.

Jean - Monster - "I am not worthy of love."

Mozart - Music - "You are my muse."

Sebastian - Secrets - "My composure is an act."

Shakespeare - Bard - A poem for my lover

Faust - Alchemy - "Behave for me."

Charles - Obsession - "I wish we could stay like this forever."

Isaac - Scholar - "I don't understand people at all ... yet I found myself quite curious to know everything about you."

Ikemen Prince

Keith - Duality - "Trust me."

Luke - Bear - "I will protect you."

Jin - Sweets - "All I need is our love."

Rio - Pet - "I will love you always and forever."

Sariel - Discipline - "It will do good to remember I am quite a strict tutor."

Nokto - Facade - "Were the truth lies ?"

Licht - Scar - "No matter what I do this scars will not heal, but your presence made me forget about them."

Yves - Fashion - "Would you like to get ready together ?"

Ikemen Revolution

Zero - Identity - "I am human because of you."

Harr - Magic - "I only want to keep you safe."

Loki - Abandonment - Seeking comfort on a rainy night.

Blanc - Gentleman - "Do you remember what I warned you about when you came in Cradle?"

Mousse - Dreams - "You are the subject of my dreams. I want to know even more about you."

Dean - Strict - Stern gaze softening upon an endearing sight.

Dalim - Flirt - "You shouldn't have trusted me."

Oliver - Creativity - "The best part about my creations is seeing you smile."

Ikemen Sengoku

Kennyo - Revenge - "You make me feel complete with your love."

Ranmaru - Loyalty - "I will always be there for you."

Sasuke - Companion - Fanning over the fanboy.

Mitsunari - Knowledge - "Let me take care of you."

Yoshimoto - Beauty - Admiring art together.

Kanetsugu - Strategy - "I found quite difficult to keep my composure when you are around."

Hideyoshi - Devotion - "You're my number one priority."

Ieyasu - Teacher - Collecting herbs together.

Once again Have fun and Happy Creating! I can't wait to see all your creations. 🧡💟💌🤗

#love booth challenge #ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikemen prince #ikepri #ikemen revolution #ikerev #ikemen sengoku #ikesen

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earlgrey24 · 11 days

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Top 5 underappreciated historical figures!

Thanks for the ask! This one was super fun, but also super difficult to answer. I've purposefully avoided mentioning the ladies of the French Revolution, since I have another question specifically about them lined up.

With that being said, in no particular order:

Fulvia

Anyone in the classics circle likely knows much more about her than I do, but I'm so glad I've discovered her through Tumblr! All of the things I've learned about her so far have been so interesting. It's incredible to see how much political (and military) power a Roman woman was able to yield despite living in a deeply patriarchal society.

(also, the part of me that loves drama really appreciates the story about her stabbing Cicero's tongue with hairpins after the proscriptions and Octavian's atrocious poem about her)

2. Émilie du Châtelet

Also hardly a surprise for anyone who's been following me for a while. Again, the fact that I've only relatively recently found out that there was a female mathematician and physicist in the fist half of the 18th century with such significant contributions to the field makes me almost feel as if I've been lied to.

She is special to me both because she was incredibly smart (she was able to understand Newton like few other people in her time and she spoke so many languages!) but there's also something about her writing that makes her feel deeply human and relatable. I've read some of her texts, and not only are they written in a beautiful prose but they're also incredibly moving. Her view on how to achieve happiness in life is one of the best I've ever came across, and her arguments for the education of women always make me feel so emotional...

...when she says that it was only after she realised that the circle of (male) French intellectuals accepted her among themselves and treated her as equal that she realised she too "might be a thinking creature"... I don't know, there's something about it that always gets to me.

Okay, time to introduce some male historical figures as well! This one is a residue from the time when I was really into the American Revolution.

3. Peter Stephen Du Ponceau

He was probably the only one in Baron von Steuben's original group that was able to speak decent English when they first arrived in the US to join the revolutionary war, which a) makes him quite important b) is kind of funny to think about.

But what I especially like about him is that he was a talented linguist who seemed to have genuine respect for other cultures, which let's face it, was quite rare in his times. While taking part in the American Revolutionary War, he recorded and studied the languages of Native American People. How cool is that?

(He was also potentially queer and I do have a soft spot for queer history)

Okay, guess should bring up someone interesting from Czech history as well. I fully confess that my own country's history is not necessarily my favourite area of study, but for her, I'll always make an exception:

4. Milena Jesenská

Probably most well known as Kafka's (kind of?) girlfriend/pen pal, but there is so much more to her story!

She was a writer and a journalist during the first half of the 20th century. She was really talented and soon made a reputation for herself, which let's face it, wasn't an easy thing to do for women in her time.

After Czechia became occupied by Nazi Germany, she joined the resistance movement and helped Jewish families to escape. She was later transported to a concentration camp, where she worked as a nurse and was said to have been "a moral support for other prisoners". She unfortunately died there when she was only 47. Still, what a life!

5. John Polidori

He's not necessarily my number one favourite person but I'd argue he is one of the most unappreciated figures. Vampires in fiction are massively popular but he rarely gets credited as one of its first authors. (Also the theory that Lord Ruthven, the charismatic, immoral aristocrat featured in The Vampyre is heavily based off on Lord Byron is not only entirely plausible but also quite funny).

Whenever I read something about the Geneva Squad, I always end up feeling kind of bad for him. As a foreigner, someone who was of a lower social status and - since he technically came along as Byron's personal physician - a paid employee, it just seems to me like he was never actually fully part of the group. Maybe I'm wrong, but to me, he felt kind of like a perpetual outsider. Lord Byron also got the credit for writing The Vampyre that should have gone to Polidori.

He was of course far from a perfect saint, with his drug and gambling addiction, but I still can't help but feel that he deserved better.

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zlebooks · 2 years

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𓂃 xiao + stupid in love .

part two of sorts to this drabble !! this can be read alone, i only wrote this bc some wanted to see y/n and xiao getting together 🫶🫶🫶

xiao knew he was smart.

he maintains his grades in the top percentile of his class. and even though he rarely participates in recitations, he makes up for it with his excellent written outputs.

he's knowledgeable— he can recite the whole process of mitosis and meiosis on the top of his head. his analytic essays on poems and short stories are always returned with a 'great job!' written on red.

xiao knows a lot of things, but this doesn't mean he's aware of everything.

xiao at 13, did not know kazuha beat up some kids on his behalf. the mean kids had been talking bad about xiao behind his back, and the blond happened to be walking by and couldn't resist connecting his fist to their jaws.

the day after those events, when xiao quizzed the other for his bruised eye, kazuha only shrugs as he says he got it from falling down the stairs.

("your house doesn't have stairs."

"i wasn't in my house, silly. i fell down at your house after doing it with your mom."

"get the fuck away.")

xiao at 14 had no clue that zhongli, his upperclassman whom he looks up to the most, sees him as his little brother.

during lunch, zhongli would always drop by at his favorite underclassman's classroom to give him a fruit— it's always high in vitamin c but xiao always receives a different one each day.

the taller noticed how frequent xiao attends their club meetings with either a cold or a cough. being a concerned senior he is, he starts purchasing fruits potent in vitamin c on the way to school to give it to the younger during lunch breaks.

("your face is so sour that even zhongli decided to give you a lemon." a certain blond friend says.

"it. isn't. sour. at. all." xiao says in between bites as he tries to remain poker faced the entire time.

"you're a monster.")

xiao at 15 had no idea who's been feeding the stray cat other than him.

contrary to popular opinion, cats aren't afraid of the green-haired boy. he actually seemed to be a magnet for them— threatening his 'i'm intimidating, back off' persona every once in a while as a bunch of cats follow him.

he met a certain black cat on the streets one day, and every other day, he comes to its spot just to feed it.

however, on a particular afternoon, when he arrives at the riverside to give the black cat some food, he notices an opened canned tuna laying around, and a cat heavily invested in gobbling it up.

he shrugs, before laying down water beside it so the black cat can also get its share of drink.

it doesn't matter who's feeding the friend he had made— as long as the little stray gets fed, he's absolutely fine with it.

(a particular senior who is allergic to beans coos when he learns that xiao has been feeding the cat alongside him.)

xiao at 16, has no clue why he has a bad case of indigestion.

he makes sure he never over eats, or eats too fast. and even with his mother's homemade tonic, his stomach keeps on juggling uncomfortably.

for a while, he thought that the problem might be from the pork buns he buys on the way to school, but when he notices it only appears whenever you're around, he thinks it's because he doesn't like you.

his alleged dislike turns into something stronger– hate, perhaps. the funny feeling in his stomach seems to never go away, and now he feels hotter than ever, his temperature heating up as his thoughts are always plagued by you.

this becomes a problem eventually— a huge one that he had to ask around what he can do in order to keep such an ill feeling on the down low. after all, while he might not like you, he still doesn't want to hurt your feelings, oddly enough. the problem starts to become even bigger, especially now that you two are seatmates. ever since the release of the new seat assignments, which inevitably puts you beside him, the symptoms start to worsen for xiao.

("is it necessary to feel this way when you hate someone?"

"what do you mean exactly?" a kind senior asks, his golden eyes shining brightly in contrast with their uniform's black vest.

"i can barely focus when they're around— i'm always at loss for words whenever we talk." xiao replies, muttering low as he puts his head on top of his fist.

zhongli widens his eyes in shock, but then he reverts to his usual self before the younger catches on. "perhaps you need to reevaluate your feelings; there is a possibility that you mistook such feelings for hate."

the younger shakes his head firmly, "that can't be. i'm pretty sure it's hate."

"are you sure of that, xiao? hate is a strong word." he asks in his rich deep voice and xiao affirms.

zhongli silently hums as he takes a sip from his water bottle. no matter the outcome, this can be a learning experience from his underclassman. xiao is indeed smart— he's sure that the younger would figure it out on his own.)

(when zhongli recounts the events to a close friend of his, he earns a smack on the back of his head.

"why did you leave things at that, idiot!" a thin frail white-haired woman yells, but her appearance is an illusion as the weight of her hand feels like a ton of bricks being slammed against his head.)

xiao at 17, didn't know better than to approach his best friend of four years for advice.

"how do you know if you like someone?" he remembers asking and the relentless teasing that followed.

maybe he should have known better, really. xiao ponders as kazuha lists off the signs of catching feelings for someone.

"don't forget about the butterflies in the stomach! it's what makes you shy."

xiao tsks, as if— he never gets shy.

although the moment you went close— too close— to him, he feels like he could have erupted like a volcano.

(kazuha hollers, "how'd you turn so red when y/n came up to you?" the blond wipes tears from his eyes. "you literally have it bad for them!"

"if you don't stop, i'm not the only one who's going to be red." xiao threatens, holding the plastic knife a little too tight.)

6 months later, xiao didn't know what to do when you suddenly confessed your feelings to him.

he feels as if his feet attached itself to the ground; he could barely move, he can't even bring himself to breathe.

"i like you."

you tell him out of nowhere while the two of you were left behind in the classroom to clean— he was sweeping the floor while you arranged the chairs. from the other side of the room, you suddenly get the urge to confess which left the other gaping. this alone becomes a huge achievement because xiao never gapes.

xiao thinks you should be charged with attempted murder.

he thinks with the way you took away his breath and almost sent him into a cardiac arrest, you should be sent to jail. but then he disagrees with that thought— because how will he deal with his feelings without you?

for the first time in his entire life, xiao thinks he finally understands what kazuha meant by 'butterflies in the stomach.' because as he stares at your expectant eyes and upturned lips, he thinks he just felt a flap against the walls of his tummy.

and what his friend said to him came into fruition— he realizes what they meant.

he likes you back.

xiao was never one for theatrics and yet he can't help but drop the broom he's holding dramatically before running over to you.

coughing awkwardly and taking deep breaths he says, "i do too."

xiao thinks he knows everything now.

("really? 'i do too'? you do know you sounded like you're saying you liked yourself too, right?" a kaedehara descent teases, earning a tug on his hair.

"shut. up.")

♥︎ please do not repost or translate without my permission . reblogs are heavily appreciated!

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meraki-yao · 8 months

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RWRB Movie Analysis: The Kensington Confrontation, on life, love and patience

Some things happened in my personal life and I had an epiphany on certain stuff, and subsequently, I started to see this scene in a different, clearer light.

“My life is the crown, and yours is politics, and I will not trade one prison for another.”

From Henry’s point of view, there is no changing, no escaping the life he’s in. He has his family, and the country’s adoration (considering he’s called the prince of England’s hearts, he might be the most popular royal in universe), and that’s all he knows, that’s all his has. He can’t straight up come out, the country will reject him, the king will berate him, he’ll be left with everything he had and knows taken away from him, he’ll be left with nothing, and he knows love can’t solve everything. If he comes out, gets more or less banished by his country and stay with Alex, with Alex’s ambitions of becoming a politician who has to be frequently judged and scrutinized by the public, as his partner he will be subjected to that too, which he doesn’t want, especially in such a case that he’s not even trained for.

To him, at that moment, there is literally, no possibility of him being true and happy. There is no way out.

“We can figure out a way to love each other on our own terms, no one else’s.”

Alex doesn’t see this as a binary choice. Henry doesn’t have to come out now. They can wait, and love each other while waiting. They can find a balance. Henry can push for smaller changes, like choosing to do charity projects on LGBT+ communities to test the water on how the public might react to a royal getting involved in the community as well as make the crown’s image more LGBT friendly so if he comes out later, there’s at least a portion of the public that will be supportive. (I am completely confused about how the royal family in RWRB works, but for the irl primary royal family members, besides some mandatory monarchy stuff, they can choose which topics to focus on, like Kate Middleton with early childhood development and Prince William with environmental conservation) Alex can find his footing in the political scene in the US and gain his own relatively stable standing before coming out, and with already established political work that hopefully will gain him a supporter base, later revealing his relationship won’t be as big as a hit.

Either way, in Alex’s perspective, and honestly, in reality, they don’t need to make a decision between two definitive choices. If the pre-set road doesn’t work, they’ll carve their own way out.

It’s just, that will be hard, and scary because that means breaking out of the space Henry’s in now. That space doesn’t suit him, and he’s fairly miserable stuck in that space, but it’s also all he knows. In that space, he knows what to do, he can predict outcomes, because that’s all he’s ever known.

Breaking out, carving a new path, means doing something no one’s done before. He’ll be alone in navigating the new life, he can’t predict outcomes, and there will be no one to guide him. (Alex will of course, still love and support him, but support and guidance are two very different things.) He might risk everything and only end in a big mistake.

“That is simply not possible, and you know it.”

That sentence isn’t true. But Henry is so fully-encompassed by the life he has now that he doesn’t dare to even think about a potential alternative.

“Fine. I’ll leave. And you can live in your tower and protect your heart for the rest of your life and nothing will ever happen to you.”

“But Henry.”

“Nothing will ever happen to you.”

I, without fail, always tear up at this line, and just sob through the rest of the scene.

Here’s the line in the book:

“Tell me you’re done with me. I’ll get back on the plane. That’s it. And you can live here in your tower and be miserable forever, write a whole book of sad fucking poems about it. Whatever. Just say it.”

Honestly, I kind of like the movie line better for two main reasons: 1, using the same line with distinctly, painfully different meanings is such clever dialogue writing, 2, just like the book line, it’s insinuating what Henry would be losing, but the first time Alex says it, it also insinuates what Henry thinks he’ll be saving, and the contrast between the two makes the lost more evident and painful.

The first “Nothing will ever happen to you” is about what Henry’s keeping by giving up his relationship and Alex. You can live in your tower like Rapunzel, stay in your cage like a trapped bird, you can maintain the status quo, the royal life you’ve been living for so long. You can protect your heart for the rest of your life because if you never allow yourself to fall in love, if you never give your heart away, no one will lose it, and no one will break it. Nothing will change from the life you’re living, for better or for worse. Nothing will change. Nothing bad, nothing dangerous, nothing new will ever happen to you.

The second “Nothing will ever happen to you”, is all the things Henry will be giving up by staying where he is, staying in the same space that the crown drew for him. Never changing, never breaking out, living day by day on orders and demands, never taking initiative. You don’t have the burdens and pressures of making choices, but you don’t get the freedom to make the choices you want either.

Most devastatingly, never getting to be honest about your sexuality, about your personality and thoughts. Never getting to date, laugh, kiss, have sex, fall in love with a man who truly loves and cherishes you, the man standing right behind you, who flew across an ocean and stormed a fucking castle to tell you he loves you.

All the unbridled joy you felt when you were with Alex, you will never get that again.

Yes, you might never get your heart broken again afterwards.

But you’ll also never get your heart to beat as wildly, as happily and as loudly as it did when you were with him, ever again.

Nothing will change.

Nothing new will ever happen to you.

But by refusing to change, nothing good will ever happen to you either, darling.

Nothing truly good, truly happy will ever happen to you either.

You will never, be truly happy again.

And hearing Alex’s ultimatum, makes Henry actually think.

Alex leaves, and he keeps this life. Never truly getting his heart broken after tonight, no soul-deep agony, but a constant heartache and discomfort he will carry for the rest of his life.

This exchange isn’t worth it.

There are a bunch of details that Henry hasn’t worked out, and is still scared to work out, but first and foremost, giving up the love of his life in exchange for a life that doesn’t suit him, it doesn’t feel like it’s worth it.

I originally thought the transition from the Kensington confrontation to going to the V&A was a bit too sharp and sudden, but I have another understanding of it now.

Henry needs to think. He also needs reassurance that if he chooses to do something, Alex will stay. He needs to be sure that Alex is it for him. That Alex is worth him taking risks, worth him upturning and changing his whole life.

Henry said it himself; he’s been dreaming about dancing with his love in V&A since he was young, this is what he imagined the peak of his own brand of romance would be. When he allows himself to dream of love, this is what he dreams of.

If he takes Alex to the V&A, and whatever happens there is everything he’s ever dreamt of, then this is it for him. Alex is it for him. He can’t let Alex go anymore.

And Alex, sweet, loving Alex, does fulfil his dreams of dancing with him, and it’s everything he’s ever dreamt of and more, and Henry has his primary answer.

I want him.

I want to keep being with him.

I love him.

He’s worth it.

They need to figure out what it means to keep being together and committed with the life they have. Henry is still scared about carving his own path in life for the first time. He needs time. He needs patience. He needs to be brave.

So he says:

“Please be patient with me, and I promise I will try and be brave for us.”

And of course, Alex, says yes.

“I love you.”

“I’ll be as patient as you need.”

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #rwrb movie #firstprince #alex claremont diaz #henry hanover stuart fox #henry fox mountchristen windsor #rwrb thoughts #rwrb movie analysis #rwrb meta #i originally only planned on writing about the nothing will ever happen to you line #then i got carried away #and ended writing the entire conflict climax and resolution #i think this is my longest meta so far #applause to Alex being the best bf

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jechristine · 13 days

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Side note and kind of curious. I know now we revere shakespeare today and romeo and juliet has become so engrained in culture but Im curious what was the reception when romeo and juliet was first releas? Did people at the time predict or think shakespeare would become as big as he is today?

This is such a complex question, but I love it!

First Romeo & Juliet—

One piece of evidence that contemporaries loved this play is that fact that it was printed at least three times during Shakespeare’s own lifetime, in 1597 when the play was first staged, in 1599, and in 1609. The texts of plays were usually printed in “quarto” form, a term that denotes the size of the book.

You can see that the printer of the first edition advertises the text by blurbing “As it hath been often (with great applause) [played publically].” You want to buy this book because people are loving this play! (This first edition is much shorter than subsequent editions, leading some scholars to speculate that an actor, maybe one who played the nurse, took what he remembered from his own “role” to a printer to set out and publish.

That this play was republished twice more and then a fourth time in quarto in 1623 and a fifth time in folio (a big coffee table book) in 1623 suggests that there was continuing interest in it and that it probably came back to the stage repeatedly.

Now Shakespeare—

Here’s a really quick overview.

William Shakespeare was one of many excellent early modern English playwrights, working during one of, if not thee, most exciting, creative, dynamic eras of English theater. He was lucky to have lived when he did.

You can see on the covers of some early editions of his other plays that his name gets bigger as time moves on, suggesting that there was increasingly a market for Shakespeare’s works in particular.

This wasn’t typical at all. Generally people didn’t care who wrote the plays; typically early modern plays were the products of collaboration anyway. There certainly wasn’t copyright. Usually the theaters owned the text.

But the idea of the “Author” was emerging during this era, and due in parts to the wild popularity of the theaters, changing market systems, and Shakespeare’s contemporary Ben Jonson’s sheer force of will, that idea of the Author began to attach to playwrights, too.

By 1623, Jonson (who had already collected and published his own plays in folio under his name seven years earlier) helped to bring all of Shakespeare’s works together in one expensive volume known today to the First Folio.

Jonson wrote a poem as a preface that included these lines—

Tri'umph, my Britain, thou hast one to show

To whom all scenes of Europe homage owe.

He was not of an age but for all time!

(Link to the whole poem)

Check out the whole poem if you want to see more about how Jonson, with the support of this First Folio, made his contemporary and one-time rival into Shakespeare™️, the one we still know today.

So it’s not only that people predicted Shakespeare would become big; it’s that they set out to make him become big—likely as a way to celebrate British culture, which in the early 17c was still an underdog relative to French, Italian, and the ancient cultures.

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mistwhisperexpress · 6 months

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I'm not Jewish myself but I do belong to a couple of minority demographics that receive denigration for one reason or another, along with people trying to speak for me.

My only real advice is that there comes a point where it's no longer "defending the oppressed" and more infantilization. There is such a thing as being too sensitive. This is a kid's game, not propaganda meant to encourage hatred. Same as any other demographic, Jewish people can speak on their own behalf. They don't need others' help, they only need a listening ear. To do anything else is risking spoiling the fun for everyone including those you're trying to speak for.

Also "goblin" as far as I've seen is as much an umbrella term as anything else. Jewish people don't hold a cultural copyright on financial greed and hooked noses. (may I direct you to dragons and stereotypical witches respectively) I could probably name a dozen other fairy tale and mythological creatures that have such traits.

Suggesting that SSO's new little green goblin (Grinch? Norman Osborn?) is a caricature of Jewish people makes as much sense as saying the orcs in Tolkien's legendarium represent black people or that the white walkers from ASOIAF represent white people, aka little to no sense once you look past the surface. The comparison of Jewish people and goblins alone could be deemed borderline antisemitic in itself. It's misguided, but forgivable.

Worry more about enjoying the game and less about whether SSO is offending a group who are more than capable of defending themselves in a kid's game. ❤️

Okay I don’t blame you for assuming I’m not Jewish because apparently I haven’t mentioned that here yet even though I (mis)remembered I had, but this still feels really weird to send? Telling someone who’s not part of a minority to not speak for them is absolutely okay, the job of people outside a minority is to raise up their voices, not add their own, so I have no issue with that aspect and I am genuinely sorry that’s been done to you, but why are you, someone who by your own words isn’t Jewish, speaking on if goblins antisemitic or not at all? You are speaking for/over us there, and you would be even if I wasn’t Jewish.

I am Jewish, and obviously while we aren’t a monolith, no group of people is, I personally find this depiction of goblins (green and greedy/thief) antisemitic, and with much of the world going mask off with their antisemitism right now I’m not as open to giving benefits of the doubt as I used to be. I do believe this was a mistake on SSO’s part and not intentional as I said in a reblog, but that doesn’t make it any less harmful or antisemitic.

I have done quite a bit of research into the history of goblins and when they began to be used as an antisemitic caricature (as early as the 1800s thanks to the Goblin Market poem, which is just classic blood libel) because I make dice as a job and I want to enjoy D&D without antisemitism and the whole dice goblin thing, and there is a very large connection. This isn't unfounded.

You’re right in that goblins are a bit of an umbrella term, they are, which is why it’s important to let the antisemitic version of them die. You can have goblins that are just mischievous, not green, big nosed, greedy, sneaky, and untrustworthy. It’s really easy to not have antisemitic goblins, but unfortunately the antisemitic version is a mainstream staple and that doesn’t just go away overnight.

If you apply harmful stereotypes to anything, even if it was completely harmless before, you’re going to get a harmful caricature. That’s what happened to goblins, and that’s what SSO did with the Snow Goblins. They took the popular depiction which is the antisemitic version, and applied it to the game without a thought because it’s been normalized to the point most people don’t even consider it may have less than great origins. Like Rapunzel and Hansel and Gretel. They’re so normal the vast majority of people don’t even realize they were created for antisemitic reasons. Antisemitism is sneakily within a lot of things. You don’t start recognizing it until you become familiar with the tropes and stereotypes.

I’m also going to bet if they’re European in origin, the “dozen other fairy tale and mythological creatures that have such traits” you could name also had that done to them if they weren’t antisemitic to begin with. And since you mentioned them, it’s also what was done to the stereotypical version of witches, which is antisemitic and has a very long history of such going back to accused women who were burned being forced to wear Jewish clothing of the time as further humiliation. It’s also where the classic pointy hat comes from, since a pointy cone hat was what we were forced to wear to signify we were Jewish. Witches actually share a lot with goblins in antisemitic traits and SSO also needs to address Pi hitting all but the green skin.

You clearly know a little about the issue, as you brought up The Nose when I didn't, but you also don't know nearly enough to speak about this at all as evidenced by you not knowing the antisemitic history regarding witches, so please don't. And I never said they were a Jewish caricature, I said they were antisemitic, there's a difference. A Jewish caricature is the happy merchant meme.

What we're also not going to do is the whole 'you're the antisemitic one for seeing Jewish people in goblins' thing. That has and always will be an utterly bullshit dismissive argument. The whole point of this kind of caricature is to normalize the stereotypes so when they're actually applied to people you don't blink an eye, like how very few goyim blinked an eye at Mother Gothel in Tangled. I'm currently sick so I really don't have all the smart brain power to go into that right now and I hope someone else can. It's not antisemitic to notice when antisemitic caricatures have been applied to something. That's a very good thing to notice actually, and I want more goyim to start noticing that.

So it does actually make more sense than someone saying those things (which I don't think I've ever seen someone argue??), which I'll get into under the cut to clear up any confusion about how SSO's Snow Goblins tie into the antisemitic depictions, since a couple people were confused in my initial post.

And I am worrying more about enjoying the game; that's the whole reason I brought this up, because I'd like to enjoy a game that's been with me for more than half my life and means a lot to me, and this is preventing me from fully doing that.

Again, I am genuinely sorry people have spoken over and for you. That is wrong and not at all okay. And I'm sorry if I misread the tone of your ask.

Okay !! Education with Mandy time. This has been a long post but I hope you'll all stick with me for just a little longer.

And real quick before we get into the specifics, I want to mention that Christmas time is one of the times where you want to be especially careful about things like this, given the history present with characters like Scrooge.

So for those who don't know what the Snow Goblin is, this is the creature in question:

The typical antisemitic goblin is green, greedy, big nosed, and some flavor or sneaky and untrustworthy.

The Snow Goblin quite obviously hits on the green. If this creature looked like a normal capran and was named something like Snow Imp or Mischievous Capran, there would be no issue. Because bastardy little guys stealing things on it's own isn't an antisemitic stereotype. It's when there's multiple things that are the problem, like green skin, or in this case fur, and calling them something with a very large history of antisemitism when combined with those very traits.

The whole schtick of this little guy is they steal your snowflakes if you don't catch them in time, so it also hits on the greedy and untrustworthy tropes. If the Snow Goblin looked like a normal capran but was still called a goblin, there would still be an issue because the antisemitic goblin isn't just green, it's also bastard of greedy kinds, like a thief not out of necessity but of pleasure. "Thief" isn't directly an antisemitic stereotype, but it's very much there as an undercurrent. The "Jewish people are unfairly taking my money!" implication from The Middle Ages when the stereotype began, when money lender was pretty much the only job we were allowed to have.

If the Snow Goblin was called something else but was still green, I wouldn't say its directly antisemitic, but I would side eye it and not feel comfortable. It's kinda like the Grinch, ignoring the fact Dr. Seuss may or may not have been Jewish depending on who you ask because there's conflicting information. It's not directly anything bad, but I'm going to be a little wary of the intention and engage with it extra carefully.

Its about the combination.

I can't tell you exactly when the mainstream antisemitic goblin came together, because I don't know and it's really hard to find information on that, but it's there, and you can't deny that. I don't necessarily blame SSO for contributing to it's perpetuation, because you don't think to look deeper into something when you have no reason to think it's harmful, but I do hope they change it. And hire some Jewish sensitivity readers because this wouldn't have happened with more Jewish people around to catch it, and with witches being a focus of the story now I am admittedly a little nervous about how that'll be handled.

Also, this is all unintentionally made worse by use of the capran model, because it also gets to hit on the whole fun we're in league with the devil thing and the Jewish people have horns thing. I don't know when exactly those started either (drawings of us with "devil features" have been around a long time), but I know the we have horns one was popularized when Michelangelo decided to give his sculpture of Moses horns, because that's what we look like apparently. There are still people who genuinely believe we have horns. I feel robbed. Horns a super cool, I want horns. Where are my horns?

And before someone says it, yes this is a lot of words for something low stakes in a kids game. There are a lot of more important things right now. But that's exactly why it's mattering to me right now. I don't want to be silent about antisemitism while it's on the rise, but I don't know enough about the current aspects of that to speak on it. I do however know a lot about how it applies to fantasy, and I have had about three work in progress essays about the goblin issue to prepare for this.

And also before someone says it, Snow Gremlin isn't exactly an acceptable new name either. It's basically Snow Goblin 2.0. Gremlins aren't goblins (though they have become a bit synonymous and interchangeable), but they were popularized by the massive and proud antisemite Roald Dahl, and I have a hard time believing he didn't put any of those beliefs into them.

#star stable #star stable online #sso #sso critical #long post #antisemitism #jumblr #<- hoping some jumblr peeps can help explain why this ask feels so :/ to me #also side note but who's fun am i spoiling #the snow goblin's mechanic is horribly unfun even without this #it's just punishing #no essence of enjoyment in sight because there's a time limit that's really freaking short #and i know i essentially repeat myself a lot i am nothing if not a redundant girlie <3 lady redundant woman in world girl gets me

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lavenderbang · 1 year

Text

Love Letters

Gryffindor! Seo Changbin x Ravenclaw! reader

Genre(s): Harry Potter/hogwarts au!, ABSOLUTE FLUFF, one scene of angst but that’s it, acquaintances(?) to lovers (Reader has a crush on Changbin but they aren’t quite friends???), feat. the rest of skz (mainly Felix, Jisung, Bangchan, and Jeongin though...)

Warnings: swearing, mentions of self-doubt, but that’s about it :)

W.C: 12.9k

Summary: Seo Changbin was used to his friends having to turn down confessions left and right, seeing as their little friend group as one of the most popular in the school. He convinced himself he didn’t care if nobody ever had interest in him, as it seemed liked such a hassle. That is, until he receives finds a box of chocolates and a love note from his “secret admirer”

A/N: I originally had this idea for Chan, but I feel like Changbin doesn’t get enough love these days and I am such a big simp for Binnie, so here we are. I also love different AUs, and Hogwarts is by far one of my favourites. And with the recent controversy of the stupid game coming out, this is a better way to indulge in the HP universe without supporting Transphobia and Antisemitism, so I hope you enjoy!

Everybody, look how cute he is

“Oh no, she’s crying...” Jeongin sighed, a look of sympathy washing over his features as the boys watched Hyunjin reject yet another confession.

They were sat at their usual table in the library, when a sweet hufflepuff girl came up to the group and asked to speak with Hyunjin privately, a normal occurrence for the Slytherin boy, as many girls and guys alike fell for his pretty visuals.

“Its always the worst when they end up crying...” Felix frowned, “It makes me feel so bad for them.”

“Oh yeah, for sure.” Chan hums in agreement, looking down at the table, “Like you know its for the best and you turn them down gently, but still...”

Hyunjin then gave an apologetic bow to the girl and made his way back over to the table. He sat, letting out a deep sigh and brushing his hand through his hair.

“Well?” Jisung said, leaning his chin on his fist, “What happened?”

“She told me how she grew feelings for me recently and how she couldn’t stop thinking about me, which is sweet. She even wrote me a poem...” Hyunjin explained, taking out a folded pink piece of paper from his pocket. However, he didn’t open it, instead he placed it the middle of his potion book and closed it, “I let her down as gently as possible, and she said she understood, but I could see her holding back tears.”

“oh man...” Seungmin winced, scratching the back of his head, “So she was really into you, huh... That’s almost worse.”

“I do not envy you guys.” Changbin scoffed, shaking his head before focusing back on the potions assignment they had due tomorrow, “Being a heart-breaker would be too stressful for me.”

And for the most part, Changbin meant it; the uncomfortable and guilty feelings his friends felt whenever someone would confess their feelings to them and the awkward apologizing for not loving someone back was something Changbin couldn’t imagine himself doing.

But deep down, he wished that maybe someone would someday confess to him; how embarrassing that out of his whole friend group, he’s the only one who has never been asked out before! Sure, he’s dated, but he always made the first move, always was the one pining after someone else. Maybe once, he’d like to be sought after too?

“It’s okay, she’ll get over it eventually.” Chan said, writing on his own assignment, “I’ll talk to her later tonight in the common room about it.”

“I doubt she wants to talk to you, Channie.” Minho said and rolled his eyes, “I know you’re head of Hufflepuff and you’re supposed to look out for your housemates, but she’ll probably still be a bit sensitive about it.”

“fair point, I’ll just let her be then.” Chan hummed, the boys finally getting back to work on their assignment, since the looming deadline was more important than talk of a rejection.

--------

You sat reading a book in the ravenclaw common room, snuggled up in the corner of the love seat with a cup of tea when the rowdiness of boys stumbled in. You glanced up to see Felix, Chan, Jisung and Changbin enter, seemingly laughing at the conversation the must had been having on the way here. When Jisung caught your gaze, he smiled.

“Oh hey (Y/N)! Sorry if we are bothering you!” He apologized and plopped down on the couch across from the fireplace. The other boys followed suit and sat down next to Jisung, “We’re just gonna hang out here for a bit if that’s okay?”

Jisung was a very good head of house; sure his thought process was pretty odd, but he always was taking in new information and trying to take good care of the rest of his house.

You nodded, before glancing at Felix, who smiled sweetly and waved to you; you shyly waved back focusing back on your book.

Out of the two Australian Hufflepuffs, you were more acquainted with Felix; He spent a lot of time in the great hall, handing out the baked good he made on the weekends. He also sat next to you in charms, to which he was very friendly and kind. He made sure to always say hello whenever he saw you, which you appreciated.

“So as I was saying,” Jisung huffed, before continuing whatever the boys were talking about previously. You didn’t listen much, opting to continue reading and minding your own business; however, that became increasing difficult when Changbin started speaking.

You caught yourself stealing glances at the dark haired Gryffindor from over the top of you book, feeling giddiness bubble up inside whenever he would smile or push his bangs out of his eyes.

You knew it was silly; you barely even spoken to Changbin, besides a simple greeting, yet his presence made you feel anxious. He was handsome and kind, very smart and passionate about the things he cared about. You’ll never forget the day you had heard him talking with Chan over quidditch, the conviction and intensity he had in his voice quite frankly made you feel nothing short of inspired.

So you may have grown a crush on Changbin. A secret one that nobody would ever get to know about. You would listen at look from afar, but it was just too much for you to ever even dream of actually being with him. Besides, he knows plenty of students; he probably doesn’t even really know who you are, so your chances were at zero.

But still, you though about him, what it would be like to go on a date with him. What it would be like to have him talk about you with the same passion and spirit. To be able to kiss him...

You felt your cheeks heat up at the thought, lifting your book so it covered your flushed face. Suddenly the boy’s conversation switched to something more serious, and you felt your ears perk up as you listened.

“So what about that girl and Hyunjin today?” Felix said before shaking his head pitifully at the rug, “It’s really unfortunate cause I know that exact feeling.”

“The feeling of the girl being rejected or Hyunjin having to reject her?” Jisung said, earning a shove from Chan. Did a girl confess to Hyunjin today? You suddenly felt bad, even though you weren’t there or knew who it was.

“Hyunjin of course,” Chan said and rolled his eyes, “We’ve all been there when we had someone confess to us...”

“Well, all except Binnie here!” Jisung teased, nudging Changbin, who rolled his eyes. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. Had Changbin never been asked out? That’s impossible! Everyone knew that the group of eight boy were basically the school’s crushes; He would have had to have dated dozens of-

“Make fun of me all you want,” Changbin folded his arms across his chest and leaned back into the couch, “I may have never been asked out, but I also don’t have to deal with that awkward, sticky situation of telling them you don’t like them back.”

No way Changbin really had never been asked out?! You could have sworn there had to be at least one person who has asked him out.

The more you though about it, the more you realized that you couldn’t think of a single person who you knew had. You couldn’t even think of someone who had a genuine crush on him, and not just praised him for his visuals (well, besides you of course...)

“It doesn’t make you sad, does it?” Felix asked, voice full of concern. Changbin sat quietly for a moment before pursing his lips and shifting in his seat. You caught yourself not even holding your book open anymore, hands folded in your lap waiting to hear his answer.

“I mean, it would be really nice to be sought after, sure.” Changbin mumbled before shaking his head and scoffing, “But there is stress that comes with it too, so I’m okay for now.”

“It’s really not all that its cracked up to be, so you’re not missing out much.” Chan said and patted him on the back. They were silent for a moment, before Chan stood and stretched his arms over his head with a yawn, “Anyways, I should get going to bed, I have a test tomorrow morning.”

“Yeah us too,” Felix nodded, standing from his spot and grasping Changbin’s hand to help him up, “See you boys tomorrow!” As Felix, Chan and Changbin turned to leave, you met their gaze, causing you to embarrassingly wave goodbye to them, praying they don’t bring up you’re eavesdropping. Lucky for you, them smiled and waved back, before leaving your common room to just you and Jisung.

“I’m gonna go to bed too,” Jisung said out loud, turning to you, “Are you gonna stay out here or can I put out the fire?”

“Oh yeah, I better get to bed too,” You said meekly and stood up, book in hand as you went to the staircase.

“Good night (Y/N).” Jisung hummed, to which you quietly sputtered out a ‘good night’ in response and darted up the stairs.

You ran to your room, closing the door behind you, mind still on Changbin and the shock of him not being asked out or confessed to.

It made your nerves all jittery as you laid down on your bed, staring at the ceiling; suddenly, a thought popped into your head that made you smile.

Yes, it was perfect.

---------------

“What do you have in your hand?” Jeongin asked, pointing at the small red box Changbin was carrying as he arrived at their usual table in the library. His cheeks were flushed almost as red as the box and his smile was so big his cheeks puffed out.

It had been a couple of days since the Hyunjin rejection, and everything was how it normally was. That is until Changbin was returning to his dorm after a class and almost tripped over something in front of his door; he couldn’t believe it! was it really...?

“Oh nothing, just a gift from...” Changbin began coyly, suddenly slamming a note down on the table with a happy laugh, “My secret admirer!”

The table was in shock, some of the boys cheering, while other were quick to try and grasp for the note; Until the sharp shushing of a nearby professor, that is. The boys relaxed a bit, shifting in their seats as Changbin sat down setting the gift down on the table.

“What’s in the box?” Minho asked, reaching for the box and opening it to reveal six homemade-looking chocolates, decorated with caramel hearts and various coloured sprinkles.

“Dibs!” Jisung cheered before reaching out to grab one, only for his hand to be swatted away by Changbin. He covered the chocolates, closing the box back up and pulling it closer to him.

“You guys don’t get them, they’re for me!” Changbin pouted, clutching the box to his chest, “The note doesn’t say ‘to Changbin and all of his friends’, now does it?”

“What does the note say?” Seungmin asked, nodding to the folded white note in Changbin’s hand. The Gryffindor, unfolded the letter, reading the contents out loud:

Dearest Changbin,

Hello.

I watch you from afar every day and I know how much you like the chocolate from Honeydukes. But to make my gift as special as you are, I melted it into something new and decorated it myself. I hope you like them as much as I like you <3

Your Secret Admirer

Changbin’s face flushed re-reading the message, feeling his heart flutter. It wasn’t everyday someone gave him a gift, especially not of something he really liked.

“Who gave this to you?” Hyunjin asked, grinning at the excitement and giddiness in Changbin’s features.

“I don’t know,” Changbin hummed, smile still on his face as he looked over the note once more, “I found it outside my door after Care For Magical Creatures.”

“Good for you, Bin!” Chan said with a smile, ruffling Changbin’s hair like a proud parent before looking over at the note, “I really wonder who it is, though...”

“That’s not important right now,” Felix said, crossing his arms on the table and laying his chin down onto them, “What’s important is how happy they made you feel dude.”

The boys then started to tease Changbin, pinching at his cheeks and shoving his shoulders with chuckles and a string of ‘ooo’s.

You steal a glance from a few tables away, feeling the heat creep up your face at their reactions. You didn’t think Changbin would show his friends your letter, so it was a bit embarrassing; but you didn’t really mind that much, as they didn’t seem like the type to make fun of you for it.

Besides, it was worth all the hot, long hours you spent trying to heat and cool that damn chocolate to see the look on Changbin’s face. It was cute to see how excited he was, ears red and pretty smile seemingly stuck to his face. You decided you wanted to see it again and again and again. You decided he should smile like that everyday, so you began to brainstorm your next idea to make him smile like that again.

----------

“Ow! son of a bitch...” You cried out, sucking the blood that was pooling at the tip of your finger from the prickly thorns of the rose you were preparing. The bundle of soft lavender roses was almost complete, but the thorns were proving to be a pain in the ass.

You instinctively tapped your finger a few times on the pad of your thumb before going back to work. You felt nervous, as you were out in the greenhouses where anyone could just waltz in and catch you; you wanted to finish quickly. Not to mention Changbin would be finishing quidditch practice soon, and you wanted to deliver this gift before he was done.

“Okay that’s good...” You mumbled to yourself before pulling out a red ribbon and tying it around the stems creating a lovely bouquet. You then read over the note once more and slipped in in the ribbon as well. Looking at your handiwork one last time before deciding it was good enough, you stood and approached the quidditch field. You awkwardly tried to hide the purple bouquet in the folds of your robe, even though there wasn’t anyone out to see you; but better safe than sorry.

The weather today was bit chillier than expected, the autumn season coming to a close. It would soon be winter, which was good in its own respect; sure, autumn was beautiful, with the colourful leaves popping against the dull grass and skies, but winter meant powdery snow, warm drinks by the fireplace and cuddling up with someone on the coldest mornings.

that last one you definitely thought about from time to time...

You could hear shouts and the swishing of brooms as you finally got to the quidditch field. You hid by the entrance, peaking your head around the corner just in time to see Changbin neatly block the quaffle from going in, catching it effortlessly before nonchalantly tossing it to another Gryffindor player.

He look so handsome, drenched in sweat, cocky grin adorning his face as he floated like an angel in the sky. You could stay there for hours watching him play, but you had a job to do.

You moved farther from the field, finding the quidditch pitch and entering quickly; You were lucky that there wasn’t anyone changing at that moment, cause you couldn’t even think to check before entering. You looked around, trying to located Changbin’s stuff quickly before getting caught snooping around.

luckily it wasn’t too hard, as you recognized the sneakers he wore everyday in front of a bulky duffle-bag. You gently placed your bundle of flowers on top of the bag, finishing with a few adjustments to make sure it was set up perfectly. And just as quickly as you entered, you scampered away not slowing down until you were a good hundred feet away from the field.

You took a deep breath, feeling all your nerves on edge as you quickly pulled out the same book you’ve been reading recently and flipped to the page you were on. You planned to be sitting in the grass on the way to school, that way you would be able to see the smile on Changbin’s face that you adored so much.

You tried to steady your breathing, wanting to appear as relaxed and natural, but inside you were screaming. You felt nervous, but also excited.

Around ten minutes had passed, when suddenly you felt someone lean down beside you and sit with you in the grass. Startled, you look at the figure beside to you reveal Felix, beaming a smile almost as bright as the sun.

“Hey (Y/N)! What’s up?” Felix greeted. You made note of the place in your book before closing it and facing Felix.

“Nothing much, just reading.” You answered, trying you best to sound casual and calm. But inside, you were freaking out. Why was Felix with you? And what about Changbin!? What if he comes while Felix is with you? It ruined your whole plan!

“Cool, I’m waiting for Changbin and Jeongin.” Felix explained, glancing down his watch before looking back at you, “They should be done practice soon.” You hummed, turning to look in the direction of the field.

“Mind if I chill with you while I wait?” Felix asked, to which you nodded and you sat quietly, while Felix began to talk about the Charms class the two of you shared.

You really tried to pay attention to what Felix was talking about, but your mind was glued on Changbin and the roses. Would he like them? Was the note you wrote too forward? Would he show the boys he played quidditch with or not?

You were snapped out of your daze by the sound of fast footsteps and a shout of excitement that sounded a bit too familiar. You looked at Felix, who shrugged at you, before looking in the direction of the footsteps to see Changbin running up the hill with a tired looking Jeongin trying to catch up.

“Felix? Felix!” Changbin cheered, waving the roses in his hand, beaming with joy, “I got another one!” You felt your nerves be replaced with butterflies, feeling a bit relieved that Changbin seemed to like the gift.

“Another what?!” Felix hopped up, approaching his friend who ran straight into him, knocking the two of them to the ground and almost crushing you in the process.

They both let out a fit of giggles before Changbin sat up, and showed off the roses you spent almost an hour cutting and pruning for him. His hair was still sweaty and tousled, and he had dry dead grass on his shirt from the fall, but you couldn’t help but think it was the most beautiful he had ever looked.

“My secret admirer! They gave new a new gift and a new note!” Changbin squealed, laying back in the grass and clutching the bouquet and note to his chest. Jeongin finally arrived, huffing and puffing before sitting in the grass beside Changbin, lightly kicking the older boy’s shoulder.

“Was it really necessary to run?” He pouted, clutching his stomach like he was gonna puke.

“What does this note say?” Felix asked, reaching for the note, only for Changbin to jerk his arm away so Felix couldn’t grab it.

“None of your business!” Changbin barked, before letting out a breathless chuckle. Felix frowned, crawling on top of the Gryffindor boy to wrestle for the note, to which Changbin easily gave up, opting to gently brush his fingers against the lavender roses.

Felix began to open the note, before glancing at you and closing it up again with a pout. You blinked a couple times at Felix before realizing he didn’t want you to see the note (as if you didn’t write it; but to be fair he didn’t know that). You quickly avert your gaze down to the grass as Felix read the note silently. Jeongin was quick to move over to Felix and read it as well over his shoulder; it was fine, you already knew what it said:

Dearest Changbin,

It’s me again. I hope you enjoyed the chocolates! These aren’t nearly as tasty as my last gift, but they are much more pretty.

Flowers are used to convey feelings and meanings. Do you know what lavender roses mean? They represent love at first sight or enchantment. And you have definitely enchanted me! Every time I see you, I feel like I fall in love all over again.

I hope you enjoy these flowers, they are almost as beautiful as you! (you could use something that smells nice after practice anyways <;3)

Your Secret Admirer

“How cute!” Felix gushed, grinning at Changbin who was still playing with the flowers like some sort of lovesick puppy. Your face flushed at Felix’s comment, feeling a bit embarrassed, but also relieved he reacted positively.

“This one is a bit more forward than the last one, huh?” Jeongin suggested, smirk on his face as he folded up the note and handed it back to Changbin. He opened it again, rereading it and smile growing with ever passing second.

You wanted to explode when you saw his reaction; his ear flushed and his nose crinkled cutely as Changbin let out a silly giggle.

“Oh, (Y/N), just so you know what’s up, Changbin has a secret admirer.” Felix explained and you tried your best to try and act like this was news to you.

“You seem pretty happy about it..?” You timidly asked, shyly looking at Changbin. He shifted so his elbows rested under him, holding his head and shoulders up. You secretly were just trying to find out if he really like it or he was feeling pressured, as you remember him mentioning that.

“Its nice...” He mumbled, little grin on his face before he sighed and looked over the note again, “I just wish I knew who it was...”

“(Y/N), you wouldn’t happen to have a clue to who Changbin’s secret admirer is? Maybe one of the ravenclaw kids?” Felix asked, causing the three boys to look at you; Changbin blinked expectantly at you, making you look away and shaking your head no.

“I’m sorry, I haven’t heard anyone mention anything.” You answered, which was technically the truth. After all, you haven’t talked to anyone about being his secret admirer.

Changbin sighed, laying back in the grass before pulling gently at the petals on one of the roses, rubbing in between his fingers. He smiled to himself before sitting up.

“I guess it doesn’t matter, I’ll just have to figure it out myself.” He hummed, a newfound determination in his voice., “With whatever little clues I get, I will find out who it is!”

“You sound serious.” Felix chuckled, “I guess we’ll have to try and help you figure it out too.”

You felt nervous about that; sure, you thought you were pretty inconspicuous about revealing details of who you are (basically none), but the idea that all eight boys would be trying to find out the identity of the secret admirer made you anxious.

Changbin hummed in agreement before finally sitting up and brushing the stray bits of grass out of his hair. You secretly wished it could have been you who brushed your hands through his hair...

“Well, we should probably get going. I have to shower before dinner.” Changbin said, gently setting the bouquet down in the grass before smoothing out his dress shirt.

You watched, hands folded over the book in your lap and Changbin helped Felix stand up, while Jeongin followed suit. Changbin picked up the bouquet again, clutching it fondly to his chest with a bright grin. He then turned his attention to you, catching you off guard.

“See you around, (Y/N).” He hummed and you swore you felt your heart stop. This might have been the first time he mentioned you by name and honestly, it surprised you that he even knew it.

“Y-yeah! for sure...” You stammered, waving at Changbin as the boys left, leaving you alone in the grass.

----------

“Wow! The first snow of the season!” Jisung gushed, pressing his cheek up against the cool window to get a look outside, “It so pretty out!”

Chan, Jisung, Felix and Changbin were once again in the ravenclaw common room, just relaxing and spending some time together after a long week of school.

With the winter coming closer and quidditch season ending, they spent a lot more time in the common room that usual, which you definitely didn’t mind; You just “happened” to be there most nights too, reading up on your book or studying for upcoming tests, but above all else, wanting to be around Changbin.

It had been a few weeks since your last gift to him, since you wanted the next one to be something special. You spent a lot of time thinking about what exactly you wanted to give him; most things you thought of didn’t seem special or good enough to give someone as special as Changbin.

“You can see the big puffy flakes falling down!” Felix exclaimed, smile bright as he squished beside Jisung to see out the window. You watched the boys with a small grin, stirring the tea you had and trying not to giggle at how cute they looked.

“Come look Bin, you always love the first snow.” Chan said, waving over Changbin who sat on the floor at the coffee table by the sofas, seemingly focused on something else.

“Yeah in a minute,” He hummed, playing with a white piece of paper. You watched him unfold it and fold it again and again, flipping it over, rubbing it between his fingers, deeply analyzing it. He was sitting cross-legged, dark shaggy hair messily covering his forehead and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He looked handsome when he focused so much, but what was he looking at?

“Binnie, why are you still looking at that note?” Jisung sighed, coming back over Changbin and sitting beside him.

Note? He was looking at your note..?

“Because,” Chagnbin sighed, setting it back down on the table brushing his hands through his hair before leaning back, “I haven’t gotten another note for weeks now...”

It hurt you to see him look so defeated, and you promised yourself you would never let him go this long without a note again. You felt guilty, but you just wanted to give him the best gift you could, so maybe it was worth it..?

“Awe, don’t worry dude!” Felix comforted, sitting down on the other side of him and wrapping his arm around him, “I’m sure they just have something cooler prepared that takes more time.”

“what if they don’t like me anymore..?” Changbin sighed weakly, biting his bottom lip and picking up the note again, holding it gently.

You wanted to scream at him that it wasn’t true, and that he was silly for even thinking that, but you held back. You had to give him a new note and a gift now, so you needed to keep this charade up for a bit longer. You took a sip from your tea and flipped a page in your book, trying to not look like you were listening except you were fuming inside.

“Nonsense!” Chan huffed, coming to sit across from them, “Listen, I don’t know why it’s been so long since you got a note, but I’m sure your secret admirer has their reasons. Maybe they are scared you don’t like the notes and gifts. Maybe they have something big prepared like Felix said. Maybe they did give you something but it got lost or taken. My point is, the least likely scenario is them not liking you.”

“I mean, maybe....” Changbin said flatly, looking at the note in his lap sadly. The sight broke your heart and you suddenly felt like such an idiot. Changbin shook his head and set the note back on the table, “I don’t know. I just... I hope you guys are right.”

“Of course we are right,” Jisung said simply, patting Changbin on the shoulder reassuringly, “What reason would this person have to suddenly not like you? none! And there is so much to like about you, right guys?!”

Chan and Felix nod in agreement, trying desperately to cheer the dark haired gryffindor up. He let out a weak smile at his friend’s efforts, but looked back down at his lap sadly.

“Thanks guys...” He said softly, folding his hands in his lap and playing with them, seemingly defeated.

That sad look was the last straw for you; feeling like you wanted to cry at the sight, you got up quietly and left the common room, determined to get a gift for Changbin now.

Luckily for you, you had the perfect idea after hearing the boys talking earlier.

It was freezing out, the crunch of fresh fallen snow under your shoes as you walked outside. As much as you hated being out here without a coat, you were fueled by the need to make Changbin smile.

Using a spell you had learned a few years ago, you were able to gather up the freshly fallen snow from the sky, catching it in a crystal ball to make a snow globe of sorts. You would have loved to make an ornate stand for it, but it was almost curfew and you needed to get this to Changbin by tonight. The ball by itself would have to do; besides, maybe Changbin would like it more this way. Being able to roll it around to see the first snow of the year whenever seemed like something he would prefer to just shaking it like a normal snow globe.

Coming back inside and dusting yourself off, you try to neatly and hastily write out a note for him, trying to convey your feelings with every quill stroke. You re-read it, making sure it was perfect before folding it up and carrying your stuff back towards the common room. The only problem now, was there was no wrapping or box you had with you to put it in. And how would you be able to give it to him without him knowing it was from you?

Maybe you couldn’t give it to him tonight. If they just weren’t in the common room, you could sneak up to your room to be able to wrap the orb quickly, but going through the common room with them there was impossible to not be seen. Would tomorrow be better? But the idea of Changbin going to bed disheartened and sad made you feel heartbroken. There was no way you could wait to give it to him but-

“Hey (Y/N) what is that?” Jisung asked, standing out in the hallway right outside of your common room, with Changbin. The two of them had an armful of baked goods from the kitchen.

You freeze in place, feeling like you’ll be sick. You had both of them staring at you for a moment, looking down at the open globe in your hand and the note and you were speechless.

You were done for.

“It’s.. uhmmm...” You mumble, but Changbin is quick to notice the white note in your hand and snatches it from you in a moment.

“It’s from my secret admirer!” Changbin squealed, face lighting up as he unfolds the note and reads it. As he reads through the note, his face grows brighter and brighter and you can’t help but smile back at him, even though your knew you were fucked.

“What does it say?!” Jisung screamed, trying to read it too. He quickly grabbed it from Changbin and began reading it out loud.

Dearest Changbin,

Let me apologize for the long wait for this gift. I was trying to find something special and meaningful to give you to be able to show my love for you, so it took longer than expected. I promise to show you my love more thoroughly from now on.

I have gathered the first snow of the season for you, wanting you to always have a precious and magical moment on hand whenever you need it. Every moment I spend thinking about you is precious and magical for me.

I hope you enjoy this gift, I know how much you love the first snow of the year <3

Your Secret Admirer.

You felt your face heat up as Jisung read your note out loud, not thinking about how cheesy it sounded until it came out of his mouth.

“(Y/N)! Explain yourself!” Jisung shouted, pointing an accusatory finger at you.

Shit, I guess it’s time to come clean and confess. You felt sick to your stomach at the idea of telling Changbin to his face that it’s been you all along, but here goes-

“Yeah (Y/N)! Where did you find this? Did my secret admirer give it to you to give to me?!” Changbin said, face serious, yet he was absolutely dead wrong about the situation. But you felt a weight lift off your shoulders as you would be able to sway them away from suspicion of you.

“No, I found it out here sitting by the wall.” You said as nonchalantly as possible, giving Changbin the snow globe. He quirked his brow at the clear crystal ball, before giving it a shake and seeing the snow inside appear and whirl to life. His face softened and he smiled fondly at the small ball.

“I didn’t see who left it, but I didn’t want it to break or be kicked, so I was coming to bring it to you.” You said, gazing at Changbin’s gleeful state and stifling a smile. At least the plan was a success, even if this isn’t what you had in mind.

“See? We told you they were waiting to give you something special buddy!” Jisung said, shaking Changbin’s shoulder before wrapping his arm around his friends and looking back to you, “Thank you (Y/N) for the delivery!”

“Yeah, thank you (Y/N).” Changbin hummed softly, his smile warm enough to melt away the cold you experienced going outside without a jacket. You felt your face heat up as you looked into Changbin’s eyes. He broke eye contact first, looking back down at the ball fondly.

“Of course.” You whispered, feeling like every cell in your body would burst at this moment from a whole conglomerate of feelings.

“Alright lover-boy, lets get these snacks back to the boys.” Jisung said and pulled on Changbin’s arm. They boys departed towards the common room before Jisung called back to you.

“Aren’t you coming too, (Y/N)?”

“Right! Yes, of course.” You confirmed and scurried to catch up to the boys, releasing the deep breath you didn’t know you were holding.

How you avoided being found out was a mystery. Blame it on the brainlessness of boys....

---------

“(Y/N), do you have the notes from Friday?” Felix asked, tugging at the arm of your robe, “Chan spilled water in my bag by accident and ruined mine, so if I could just borrow them to make a copy, I’d really appreciate it.”

It was a week later, and you had been racking your brain for what your next gift to Changbin would be. You weren’t exactly sure how much longer you should stay secret, but the thought of actually confessing made you feel sick.

But for now, you had more important things to focus on, like school; more specifically the class you were currently in.

“Yeah, totally!” You answered Felix, digging through your bag for your notes and handing them to him, “Sorry, my hand-writing is a bit messy...” He dismissed you, flipping through the pages before frowning.

You stiffened when you realized a moment too late what you had just done.

“Your handwriting looks... familiar.” Felix said chewing his bottom lip until it clicked where he recognized it from. Felix gasped before tugging at your arm once again, “This looks like the love letters Changbin’s been receiving! Are you-”

You quickly hushed the boy, feeling your face heat up. Fuck.

Felix calmed down a bit before whispering “Are you Changbin’s secret admirer?”

Felix looked at you expectantly. It would be fruitless to lie to him at this point; you could tell he wouldn't believe you even if you tried.

“You can’t tell anyone, especially not him.” You whispered back feverishly, feeling sick to your stomach. How silly of you! Of course Felix would recognize your handwriting, it was obvious. And with how excited he always seemed about the situation, of course he would have looked at the handwriting on the notes a lot.

You felt like you were going to pass out.

“I promise I wont tell him!” Felix said seriously, before giggling like a school girl, “(Y/N), that’s so cute! How long have you like him? You should have asked me to set you up! Also-”

“Felix, can we talk about this in a place that’s not so public...” You whined, looking around the crowded classroom. You suddenly felt exposed, like everyone was looking at you and like everyone knew, because it wasn’t just your little secret now.

“Of course, of course.” Felix said and turned back to his work, but only for a moment to scribble out a note and pass it to you, without lifting his eyes from his assignment.

He talks about the notes all the time, you know. You make him really happy :)

The corners of your lips quirked up, before you mumbled out a shy ‘good’ and focusing on your work again. You were stressed about someone finding out, but at least it was Felix out of all people. You knew he wouldn’t tell, no matter how excited he got because Felix wasn’t the type to break a promise.

But still, you couldn’t shake the feeling of dread in your chest.

Class seemed to drag on, but the moment it ended you quickly packed up and tried your best to leave the classroom without having to talk to Felix about your little crush. It was bad enough that Felix found out, but you didn’t want to get into details with him about your feelings. So you fled, trying to get away as fast as possible.

However, you weren’t so lucky, having Felix corner you in the hallway and drag you off to the entrance hall for some privacy. Great...

“Okay you have to tell me everything!” Felix gushed, not letting go of your arm. You frown and chew your lip nervously, feeling incredibly embarrassed about the whole situation. You stood silently, looking at the floor as if you were guilty and in trouble for something.

“It’s okay (Y/N)...” Felix said softly, coaxing you to look up at him. He grinned at you encouragingly, “I won’t tell anyone, I just want to know.” You took a deep breath before letting out a heavy sigh. He wouldn’t leave you alone until you told him about your feelings for Changbin, so you might as well get it over with.

“I don’t know when I started liking him. Since I first saw him I think.” You began, feeling the heat rush to your face. You weren’t able to look at Felix, so you just stared at the floor, fiddling with the edge of your tie.

“I overheard you guys talking about how he never got asked out one night in the common room and I wanted to change that, but asking him out seemed too scary... So I decided to be his secret admirer instead.” You finished simply, rubbing the nape of your neck. Felix stood silently for a moment, lips pursed as he thought. He let go of you, folding his arms over his chest.

“Its the muscles right?” He finally said, smirking at your embarrassed state, “You find his muscles attractive and that’s why you like him, right? I can’t say I blame you though, They are quite a sight...”

“What? No! That’s not the reason!” You stammered out a bit too loudly, eyes shooting up to see Felix’s smug expression. God you wanted to punch him right now.

“I mean, he is handsome and his muscles are cool and all....” You admitted, smiling to yourself as you thought about Changbin, “But I like how passionate he is. And how he’s kind and loyal. And how he’s a good friend above all else.”

“Awe, you’re smiling so hard!” Felix teased you, cooing at how flustered you were getting. He poked your cheek with his finger, smiling when you swatted his hand away, “You must be imagining him right now.” “Stop teasing me!” You groaned, pushing him away from you and covering your face with your hands. This was going to be unbearable now that Felix knew.

“Okay, I’m sorry.” Felix apologized, reaching over to rub your shoulder. You glared at him, feeling sick to your stomach still.

“You should tell him it’s you though.” Felix suggested, before perking up as he got an idea, “Ask him to go on a date during winter break!”

“Are you crazy?!” You screeched. You shook your head disapprovingly, moving to go and sit down on the steps of the entrance hall. You placed your head in your hands and let out a tired sigh. Felix slowly sat beside you, placing his arm around you in comfort.

“I want to tell him, but I’m honestly scared to...” You confessed, looking up at Felix, who was listening to you intently. A sense of doom looms over you at the thought of confessing, “I mean, what if....”

“What if..?”

“What if he finds out its me and.... feels disappointed?”

“Why would he be disappointed if it was you?”

“Because, I’m me and he’s him!” You sighed exasperated. You didn’t know when you started crying, but you felt a tear drip onto your lap. You wiped it away with a sniffle, trying to calm down. Feelings you didn’t even know you had started arising and for some reason, talking to Felix made you feel comfortable to confide in him.

You look down at your shoes, bouncing your knee anxiously as you spoke, “He’s Seo Changbin! He’s cool and he’s popular because he’s the sweetest; he’s the guy that is never rude and he never leaves his friends alone. He always puts himself wholeheartedly into everything he does and he never gives up, no matter how unlikely things will work out for him. He’s such a good person!”

Felix listened to you ramble, nodding along and rubbing your back to hopefully sooth you. You hung your head and let out a sigh, like all the life in you was expelled with that one breath.

“And I’m me... I’m the loser who has no friends, who always has their nose in a book because it’s easy to be alone if I pretend it’s by choice. I have a crush on a guy I barely have spoken to and I wasn’t even sure knew of my existence until a few months ago! I keep to myself, always observing as if I’m the background character and he’s the main character.” You wipe your eyes one more time as you finish rambling, feeling the lump in your throat as you tried to calm down a bit more.

“The background character isn’t supposed to be with the main character. That’s not how stories go...” You finalize, clutching the sleeves of your shirt with a crestfallen expression.

You didn’t quite think about why you were so afraid to tell Changbin it was you, but now it all suddenly made sense. You didn’t feel that he would have feelings for a nobody like you when he was someone like him. It just didn’t seem possible for him to have any interest in you, that’s why being a secret admirer worked so well for you.

You could tell him your feelings without him being disappointed it was you who felt that way.

“Good thing this isn’t one of your silly stories then.” Felix said firmly, not looking over at you. He was still rubbing your back, his determined expression a stark contrast from his gentle movements.

“Listen (Y/N), I know it’s scary and I know you don’t feel like you’re enough, but I can assure you, you are.” Felix explained seriously. His expression softened a bit as he flashed you a small smile, “You are smart, and you’re kind. You’re clearly very thoughtful to do all for this for Changbin. He be a fool to not like you.”

“You have me to support you and cheer you on now. I’m telling you, as your friend,” Felix nudged you a bit at the word friend, trying to cheer you up out of your somber mood, “You should tell him it’s you.”

“I don’t know...” You hummed weakly, feeling like there were a thousand doubts and negative thoughts stirred up in your mind. It all seemed like something any good friend would tell someone to comfort them.

“It’s not fair to neither you nor Changbin that you’re choosing to cheat the both of you out of happiness over a ‘what if’.” Felix said simply, patting you back one last time before retracting his hand to lay in his lap.

Upon feeling his hand leave your back, you turned to look at Felix, with him staring directly back at you. His lips were pulled into a thin line, with his eyebrows furrowed in a stern, yet sympathetic expression before he finished, “Don’t let yourself sabotage your happiness like that.”

That seemed to spark a sense of hope in your chest, as you let your brain think on the concept for a moment.

It wasn’t fair of you to take away all possibility of Changbin being confessed to. It always made you happy to make him happy; so if Changbin finding out who his secret admirer was would bring him joy, it made sense you’d do everything in your power to make that come true.

Besides, you knew Changbin was kind, so if he did turn you down, it would be in the most polite way possible, which wouldn’t be so bad...

“I have to tell him.” You deduced after thinking in silence. Felix seemed to perk up at your change in attitude, grinning at your newfound resolve.

“I agree!” Felix said with a nod, “Whatever I can do to help, let me know!”

The cogs were already turning in your head, formulating a plan on how exactly what you were going to do and how you were going to do it.

------------------

Changbin hummed the tune he had stuck in his head all morning as he sat at his desk. Drumming his pencil against the edge of his potions textbook, he tried to focus on the current homework he had, but it was impossible at this point.

Changbin sighed, giving up on focusing and pulling open the drawer on his desk to pull out all the notes you had written him.

These days, all Changbin could think about was his secret admirer. The thought of them ran through his mind 24/7; what you looked like, what you sounded like, what kind of perfume you wore, what your favourite colour was, why you liked him. Who were you?

Re-reading the notes, he felt his face blush. It was refreshing for someone to care about him so much. He felt spoiled and couldn’t stop the grin on his face from creeping up, especially at the lines where you said you loved him.

He had read the notes over at least a thousand times by now. He could recite them by heart, noticed small things in the handwriting itself, like the way you crossed your ts or how you swoop the g more delicately while writing his name.

Changbin groaned, folding the notes back up and stuffing them in his desk drawer carefully. It had been a couple months since he first got one and he was no closer to figuring out who it was. Nobody seemed to act any differently around him since he started receiving the gifts, and he didn’t notice any lingering stares. Not to mention, he’d not been able to recognize the handiwork from either the gifts or the notes.

It all was so incredibly frustrating and disheartening to him. How was he ever going to figure out who it was if they never gave any clues away?

Changbin reached for the crystal ball you had gifted him from the top of his desk and rolled it around in his hands as he thought about if he’d missed any clues. The globe grew cold in his palms, snow whirling to life inside as he passed it between his hands mindlessly.

There was a sudden knock at his door that pulled him from his thoughts. He was about to yell and ask who it was when a piece of yellow parchment quickly slipped underneath the door. Changbin took a moment to realize what it was, before almost falling out of his desk chair.

Letters didn’t usually get sent to him directly (or anonymously) unless it was his secret admirer.

He snatched up the paper from his floor before beaming at the familiar way he was addressed at the top of the letter.

Dearest Changbin,

Hello. I am writing something a bit longer so please forgive no gift this time. However I think you’ll probably enjoy today more than any gift I’ve given you so far.

It must have been hard to try and figure out who I am from just my notes. I have meticulously crafted each one as to not give myself away. Even my gifts have everything to do with you and your preferences, and nothing to do with me! But I think you have suffered enough now. If you would like to, You can meet me today, face to face.

Changbin felt his heart stop at that sentence. He was really going to know the answer to the million dollar question. Changbin shook his head and went back to reading before he got to ahead of himself.

However, instead of telling you my identity outright, I think you’d much rather figure it out yourself with a series of clues. Finishing this little game would be so much more satisfying than just being told the answer, right?

So without further ado, your first clue: (to be fair, its more like instructions...)

You need to go to the library and you will find a book sitting on the table you usually sit at with your friends (The table in the corner by the windows). The book has a dark blue hardcover and golden-edged pages. It is my favourite one; I think I’ve read it over a dozen times and I have my own copy that you can borrow anytime :)

Inside the book is another note which has your next clue!

Good luck! I know you’ll figure it out soon, brilliant Changbin!

Your Not-So-Secret Admirer.

Changbin grinned at the playfulness of his secret admirer. It was hard to convey personality through writing a lot of the times, but they managed pretty well in Changbin’s opinion.

He slipped on his shoes excitedly, lacing them up tight before he folded the letter up and stuffed it in his pocket. He could feel the giddiness bubble up in his chest from the fun nature of this little treasure hunt.

He thought to grab his scarf and jacket too, just in case this little game lead him outside, he didn’t want to freeze before he got the chance to meet you.

He went out to the common room, going to make his way to the library when he was stopped briefly by his friend on the couch.

“Hey Bin, where are you headed?” Jeongin called to his housemate, standing up when Changbin barely spared him a glance.

“My secret admirer left me a treasure hunt,” He hummed happily. Jeongin insisted to come too for help, but Changbin simply waved the boy off, “I’ll tell you everything later!”

“Okay, but don’t stay out too late!” Jeongin called to Changbin as the older Gryffindor rushed out the door.

Changbin could only hear the rush of blood in his ears and the pounding in his chest as he weaved through countless stairs and hallways on his way to the library. He was feeling nervous, although the didn’t really think there was reason to be.

It was clear by now that you liked him a lot, yet he was worried about meeting you face to face. What would he say? What if he didn’t live up to what you expected of him?

Changbin wiped his palms on his trousers to hopefully try and aid the clammy feeling before he pushed open the doors to the library. He made a b-line straight to the table he usually sat at, but was surprised to see Chan and Jisung sitting there working on homework.

“Hey Changbin, you okay? You look like you ran here.” Chan chuckled, setting his quill down on the table.

Changbin barely spared either of them a glance, looking around the table for the book. When he couldn’t see it, he circled around the table, looking at the chairs pulled up against it with a huff.

“Uh... Bin? Hello?” Jisung called out to his friend, “What are you looking for?”

“A book.” Changbin said urgently, finally looking at his two friends when it seemed to be gone, “Its got a blue hardcover and gold pages and was supposed to be at our table.”

“Oh yeah, I think something like that was at the table before we got here.” Chan hummed, looking over at Jisung, “You put it away, right?”

Changbin felt his heart drop; this was not happening right now.

“Yeah, I moved it so we could study.” Jisung nodded, looking back at Changbin, who was mentally freaking out by now.

His one chance to meet you and figure out who you are and his idiot friends had to move the one thing he needed? He felt like he was going to scream.

“Where did you put it!?” Changbin asked anxiously, slamming his hands down on the table and making the other two boys jump in their seats.

“Relax!” Jisung cried, before turning to point at the library cart that sat about twenty feet away, “I placed it on the cart for re-shelving. It should still be there.”

“What is it?” Chan asked, as Changbin scurried off to the cart without answering. He looked through a few of the books on there before he spotted the one he was looking for on the bottom shelf. Changbin huffed out a sigh of relief, grabbing it from the cart and bringing it back to the table.

“Its a clue from my secret admirer.” Changbin answered; he felt exhausted after experiencing so much panic over almost loosing the book. He turned it over in his hands, opening the front cover.

The other two boys watched as he flipped through the pages before landing somewhere in the middle, where a white piece of paper stuck out of it. You also seemed to highlight the words on the page to create a simple message that read “you are my light”. Changbin felt a bit embarrassed about that, but he thought it was a sweet touch nonetheless.

He carefully unfolded the letter and took a deep breath before reading.

My Dearest Changbin,

Congratulations on finding the first clue! I hope it wasn’t difficult for you.

He smiled at the addition of “my dearest” when addressing him; it made Changbin’s heart flutter just a bit to think of being someones’ dearest...

You know what goes good with a book? Cookies and tea! I often like curling up with a good book, a gingersnap cookie and some chamomile tea in the evenings. The only thing that would make that experience better is if we did it together...

Changbin blushed at the thought of someone reading to him in the evenings; his head in your lap as you read him whatever you wanted. He could almost taste the flowery teas and freshly baked cookies and feel the softness of your fingers through his hair as you told him a story....

Focus Changbin! Focus.

Your next clue is in the kitchen! I made you some cookies and tea to enjoy before we meet. I wasn’t sure what you liked best, but luckily I had help with that!

You will meet a friend of mine there; You know him pretty well :)

He will have your next clue.

Good luck, I know you’ll figure it out soon, my brilliant Changbin

p.s. please bring the book with you, its my copy :p

Your (Even Less Of A) Secret Admirer

“Wait, you’re meeting them today?!” Chan exclaimed excitedly, leaning over the table to look at the note. Changbin lets the boys take the note to read it over as he flips casually through your book.

It was filled with annotations and other random notes in the margins. Things that you really liked, ideas the text made you have, even just things you felt or thought about in that moment. Whoever you were, you seemed like a very thoughtful and detailed person, which Changbin could appreciate

Jisung seems to recognize something in the writing, frowning as he finishes reading the note and then looking at the book in Changbin’s hands. It seemed oddly familiar to him....

“What book is that?” Jisung asks, peering cautiously at the cover. Changbin closed to book to look at the cover before shrugging.

“Don’t know, there isn’t a title on it. They probably have a dust jacket that goes over top with the title.” Changbin hummed, showing his ravenclaw friend the book.

“I think I have a guess on who your admirer is, Bin.” Jisung said nodding to himself as he looked back at the note in Chan’s hands. He grinned a bit as all the gears snapped into place.

“Who!?” Chan asked as he shot out of his chair. Changbin looked at Jisung expecting an answer, but he just shook his head playfully and sat back down. Changbin felt like he could explode right then from anticipation and he wanted to strangle Jisung for not spilling his thoughts; But deep down, he was also pretty glad Jisung didn’t say who he was thinking of.

It would have ruined the fun.

“It’s the gingersnaps and chamomile that gave them away. The book looked familiar, but if it’s who I think it is, they always have a cup of chamomile when they read.” Jisung revealed, before pointing down towards the bottom of the note, “But I wonder who this mysterious “friend” is?”

“The only way to know if for me to go find out.” Changbin said hastily, scooping up the note and putting it in his pocket with the letter from before, “Thank you for almost ruining everything and then fixing it again, I’ll see you guys later!”

“See you buddy!” Chan yelled to Changbin as the Gryffindor boy rushed away, onto the next location.

The kitchen was a bit of a walk, so Changbin had some time to speculate.

It annoyed him that Jisung seemed to know before he did, but that must mean the Jisung just knows the person better. Which wasn’t surprising to Changbin, since he was the head of his house and it was his job to know people. Maybe that meant they were a Ravenclaw?

And judging from your scribbly book, that was a good sign that he was right on that.

How many Ravenclaws did Changbin really know? All the members of the quidditch team, Jisung and most of the leaders and/or older Ravenclaws that the younger students depended on, and the few odd students he’d met in his classes. Not really narrowing it down too much...

Whoever you were, Changbin was starting to feel sick at the thought of meeting you. It made him nervous to think about what to finally say when you were standing in front of him.. It was very clear that you liked him a lot, and he wanted to have your first meeting be the best possible interaction. But what then? Would he go out on a date? He’d like to think so, but that could lead to complications...

What if you went and you realized you didn’t like him? The only person who has ever sought after him suddenly deciding they don’t want to be with him anymore made his heart ache.

But what if it went well? Changbin knew he had to do this. He had to know who you were and even if it ended terribly, he at least could look back at this time with fond memories.

That was the mindset Changbin had as he entered the kitchen, trying his best not to ruin anything the staff were working on. Through the window, he could see it started to snow outside, the soft powder floating through the air.

Sat next to the window on a stool, plate of cookies on the counter beside him, was someone Changbin didn’t expect to see.

“Felix? What are you doing here?” Changbin asked, walking up to his friend. He noticed two teacups sitting beside Felix, as the hufflepuff smiled at his friend dearly.

“Waiting for you, silly.” Felix hummed, pulling up a second stool beside him and patting it with his hand, “Come sit.”

“So you’re the mysterious “friend” of my secret admirer...” Changbin said simply, pulling the stool out to sit on it. Felix nodded with a ‘mmhmm’, focusing on pouring some tea into the teacup adjacent to Changbin.

He had so many questions for Felix swirling around in his head as he stared blankly at his friend; Did he always know? Was he pretending he didn’t know whenever he got a note and gift? And if he knew, why did he keep this information from Changbin?

As if he could read his mind, Felix said “I’m sure you have a lot of questions, and I can’t answer all of them.” The hufflepuff stirred some sugar into his own tea with a spoon, before setting it gingerly on the counter.

“What can you tell me?” Changbin asked, taking a sip of the tea. It was chamomile, like your note said; he grinned at the taste, somehow sweeter because it reminded him of you.

“For starters, I just figured out who it was a week ago, so I haven’t betrayed you for that long.” Felix chuckled, snatching a cookie from the plate and dipping it in his tea, “And believe me, I’ve wanted to tell you about a million times since I found out.”

Changbin grabbed a cookie and took a bite out of it, the rich, spiced flavours contrasting with the tea well. He gazed at his friend, feeling a bit on edge and antsy. He wiped the crumbs from his mouth with the back of his hand before speaking again.

“What-”

“Hold it right there buddy!” Felix quickly interrupts, excited grin growing on his face, “You’re aware this is sort of like a game right?”

Changbin nodded, not sure what the other boy was getting at.

“Well, I am only allowed to answer three questions.” Felix said, holding up his fingers to emphasize his point, “And you can’t ask outright who they are. Other than that, you can ask almost anything!”

Changbin took a minute to process the game, before scoffing to himself with a smile. Of course you wouldn’t just let Felix outright reveal your identity; not after all the work you put into this little treasure hunt Changbin was on.

“Choose your questions carefully.” Felix warned, leaning back and taking a sip of his tea to let Changbin have some time to think.

What he didn’t expect was the Gryffindor to stand up from his spot and start pacing, seemingly deep in thought. It was endearing he took this little game that seriously.

Changbin’s brain was racing a million miles an hour. He wanted to know everything about you, but what was the most important think to ask?

After a few moments, Changbin sat back down and took a deep breath. Relax. He was meeting you today anyways, so he should just ask what his instincts tell him to.

“Ready?” Felix asked nonchalantly, lacing his fingers together and placing his hands under his chin. Changbin nodded firmly, determination gleaming in his eyes.

“How do you know them?”

“I first met them in a class the two of us share. I sit beside them and we exchange notes for the class pretty regularly.” Felix answered, as directly as he could without being too obvious.

“Okay... that narrows the options.... What gift was their favourite to make or which were they most excited to give me?”

“That’s technically two questions in one, but I’ll allow it because I actually know the answer to both. They said they liked making the snowglobe best because it was a very special and magical process, but were most excited to give you the chocolates because it was the first gift.”

“They sound like they’re sweet...”

“They are.”

Felix stared expectantly at Changbin, “Last question?”

Changbin had a question in mind, but he wasn’t sure if he should waste the last question on something so pointless. But it was killing him and he needed to know the answer to the question he’d not been able to stop thinking about since this whole thing started.

“Why do they like me?” Changbin practically mumbles the last syllable, eyes glued to the window. He felt his face flush as he watched the snow fall softly.

It wasn’t that Changbin didn’t like himself; he liked to think he was pretty confident guy overall. But the gifts and the notes just seemed so special, he almost wondered why he deserved them more than who was giving them to him.

“They think you are kind.” Felix began, voice gentle as he looked at his friend fondly, “And they think you’re a good, loyal friend. And above all else, they love how you’re so passionate about the things you care about.”

“That’s why they like you.” Felix hummed finally, taking his focus away from Changbin to drink more tea.

Changbin felt like he was frozen in time. He wasn’t sure what he expected from the question, but he didn’t expect such deep and thoughtful reasons.

After a moment, Changbin was finally able to bring his gaze back to his friend, who was beaming back at him. Changbin couldn’t help feel bashful, his heart feeling like it was going to pound out of his chest as the corners of his mouth quirked up.

“I need to know who they are.” He said dreamily. Felix hummed, setting his teacup down before reaching into his robe. He gingerly pulled out a sealed white envelope and handed it to Changbin.

“This is for you. It’ll tell you where they are waiting for you.” Felix explained, as Changbin took the envelope and tore it open. Inside was a familiar looking white note.

My Dearest Changbin,

I hope you’re not mad at Felix from keeping my identity secret. He’s just being a good friend to me :p

Anyways, I’m sure you figured it out by now. And if you haven’t, that’s okay too. You’ll know soon enough.

Changbin felt like his entire body was asleep, tingling from head to toe. He could hardly handle the anticipation as he read your note.

I know you spend a lot of time with your friends in the Ravenclaw common room. I assume its your favourite spot to spend time, right?

Mine is the covered bridge that goes over the ravine; Sometimes I visit Sundial Garden too because it’s close, but I find the open airiness of the bridge helps me think.

I am waiting for you on that bridge. I hope to see you soon. <3

Your Patient Admirer

Your note basically confirms you as a ravenclaw student, as you mentioned seeing Changbin spend time in the common room. But that barely mattered now as he knew where you were and that you were waiting for him.

He folded the note up and put in in his pocket, Giving an expectant look to Felix.

“They said they are on the bridge over the ravine.” He mumbled, almost confirming it to himself. Felix nodded, expression playful and soft as he watched his friend be practically frozen in place.

“I...”

“Why aren’t you leaving, dude?” Felix asked, tilting his head slightly as he watched the Gryffindor tap his toe nervously

“I’ve wanted to know for months now, but I’m scared.” Changbin confessed, letting out a breathless laugh, “I don’t want to disappoint them...”

“I can guarantee you, that is impossible.”

“how can you be sure”

“Because!” Felix sighed exasperatedly, standing up and grabbing onto his friend’s shoulders, “How on earth could you possibly disappoint them when they adore you this much?”

“I don’t know!” Changbin huffed out, shaking his head before gazing at Felix, “I guess I’m just scared we’ll spend time together and they’ll realize they don’t like me...”

“Bin, you are sounding irrational.” Felix deadpanned, squeezing the gryffindor’s shoulders and slightly shaking him, “Don’t you want to know who it is? Don’t you want to at least try and be with this person?”

“More than anything.” Changbin said firmly. As afraid as he was, he was sure he wanted to at least try

“Then go!” Felix chuckled, pushing Changbin away from him, “Go. I promise, it’ll be okay!”

“You’re right.” Changbin hummed, pushing aside his doubts, “Thank you Felix.” Felix nodded, sending his friend off with a thumbs up and a ‘you got this!’ as Changbin dashed out of the kitchen and on his way to the covered bridge where you were waiting.

He wanted to figure out who you were before arriving, but he couldn’t seem to think of who his secret admirer could be. You had a class with Felix (not really helpful because Changbin only shared one class with Felix, where they sat together), You were a ravenclaw (there were thousands of ravenclaws), and you enjoyed tea and reading.

Not to mention, he also didn’t recognize the handwriting, so he’s never borrowed notes form you before...

The wind was howling a bit more now as the snow fell in big, wet puffs. Changbin felt glad he brought his scarf with him as he walked along the path towards the bridge.

You, on the other hand, should have looked into what the weather was supposed to be like. You leaned on the railing, looking out into the snow covered ravine, sniffling slightly as your nose was running.

You debated on going back inside, knowing that Changbin would have to walk through the clock tower to get to the bridge anyways; but that thought stopped when you noticed a figure in the distance from your peripheral

Oh god, what do you do? Should you approach him? No because that would mean you’s have to awkwardly walk towards each other and wait to say anything. But if you pretended like you didn’t see him, he might not think you were his secret admirer! But there was nobody else outside because it was cold and snowing so how could he possibly think it was someone else? Should you just turn to look at him? At least then you’d be addressing-

“Hi.” Changbin greeted shyly, sliding next to your spot on the railing to look out on the bridge.

Oh god.

“Hello.” You replied, chewing your bottom lip nervously, stealing a glace at the gryffindor. Were his cheeks red from the cold or because he was embarrassed?

“You found me.” You mumble meekly, catching the way Changbin’s face morphed into a grin.

“So it is you?” He chuckled, turning towards you and smiling. You turned to look at him properly, nodding and letting and awkward giggle out. You weren’t sure what to say to him in this moment.

“Wow.” Changbin said simply, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, “had no idea it could have been you...”

Oh god.

He was disappointed.

You should have known to never confess. God you felt so stupid! Of course THE Seo Changbin would never-

“I mean, aren’t you way out of my league?” Changbin said with a grin, as your eyes shoot up to meet his. He held that expression he always had whenever he would receive a gift; smile so wide his cheeks poked out, nose slightly crinkled and eyes glittering. You found yourself smiling too.

“Me? I don’t think you have any idea how wonderful you are if you think I’m out of your league...” You joked boldly, immediately looking down at your shoes out of embarrassment. Changbin let out a giggle, feeling like he was on cloud nine.

It was you.

Changbin never even considered you an option when thinking about his admirer. You were diligent and soft spoken and definitely seemed like you’d never be interested in a loud, childish, muscle-head like Changbin. He always thought you were attractive, but he thought he never had a chance with someone like you.

So imagine his surprise when he walked onto the bridge and saw your figure in the distance; he felt like it had to be a prank. But the closer he got the more he could see you were nervous and that nobody else was around to scream ‘gotcha!’ .

It was you and Changbin couldn’t have felt happier.

“Thank you, for everything.” Changbin hummed, handing you your book back. When you grabbed it, he swore he felt a shock go through his body.

“I- uhmm...” Changbin stuttered, clearing his throat while looking at the ground. Changbin had never felt nervous like this before, but he willed himself to be brave and just speak his mind.

“Listen,” he began, looking back up at you to see your anxious expression. He couldn’t help but think you looked cute, “I have never felt as cared about as I do because of you. It seems almost impossible for me to ever come close to making you feel so loved... But I want to try.

“So, do you maybe want to head inside and we can talk some?” Changbin asked, looking at you expectantly, “Perhaps over a cup of tea in the Museum or astronomy room?”

“As a date..?” You asked teasingly, causing Changbin to scoff

“yeah, as a date silly.” Changbin laughed, shaking his head playfully at you.

“Sounds lovely.” You accepted giddily. With a burst of courage, Changbin slips his hand into yours, eyes widening by how cold you are.

“Oh, I’m sorry I kept you waiting out here for so long, you’re freezing!” He huffed out, hastily taking his scarf off to wrap it around you delicately. He tucked it into your coat, lightly brushing your cheeks with his thumbs; you swore you would faint as Changbin smiled at you wrapped up in his scarf.

You tried not to cheer out loud at his sudden carefulness. His scarf smelled like him and you knew that you’d have a hard time wanting to take it off, even when you got back inside.

This all felt like a dream...

You slipped you hand into his once more as the two of you walked back to the castle, where you swore you could die happy.

“Oh dear, he looks like he’s trying to play it off but you can tell he’s upset...” Minho winced, as the table watched Chan have to break the heart of a poor Slytherin boy.

You watched apologetically, instinctually grabbing at Changbin’s hand as his arm rest around your shoulder. He pulled you closer to him, pressing you against his side as he frowned at the exchange.

When Chan returned, he let out a sigh, slumping down in his chair.

“Asked you out?” Seungmin asked, to which Chan nodded weakly.

“Yeah, he said he wanted to take me out to honeydukes this weekend, but I politely declined.” Chan said simply, crossing his arms over his chest as he furrowed his brow, “He seemed a bit embarrassed. I hope he’s okay...”

“Oh man, that’s rough.” Jeongin hummed, tapping his pencil against the edge of his herbology textbook.

“I do not envy you guys.” Changbin scoffed, turning to look down at you endearingly as you snuggled closer to your boyfriend.

Changbin, your boyfriend.

The thought of it made you both giddy.

“Yeah well, lucky for you to have the only person confess to you be someone you liked back!” Jisung pouted, patting Chan on the back, “some of us have to be heart breakers!”

“Not me.” Changbin mumbled, grinning dreamily before placing a sweet kiss on your lips (and consequently causing the rest of the table to groan).

Maybe it was alright that Changbin didn’t really have people confessing their love to him all the time. It used to bother him, but now that he got to have you, he was happy to not be a heart breaker.

240 notes · View notes

thehallstara · 5 months

Text

year in review

wanted to reflect on the things i've made this year. here goes nothing!

Games

ghost story is a point-and-click mystery made in unity as my final project for code coven's IGM course!! I genuinely think we managed a pretty solid concept and execution in two weeks, and if you like murder mysteries, this is for you!

lungs to burn is a short poem game made for the may 2023 bitsy jam, talking about wildfires, grief, and queer connection. featured in both indiepocalypse #43 and hand eye society's SUPERFestival. in general, the response i got for this one was kinda overwhelming (and a little confusing), but i'm glad it resonated with people! still very proud of it.

no postage required is another bitsy game, this time made for the trans game dev server jam. a somewhat-sequel to the end is near; or a letter to a lost love. there are definitely things i'd redo with this one but all in all, not too bad!

Zines

Kriah: a personal zine about some of my experiences with antisemitism over the years. definitely a heavy read but honestly i stand by it just as much as when i wrote it? idk as someone who has a lot of trauma from years of antisemitic harassment, this has been a WEIRD fucking year, and it's weird to revisit something i wrote at the beginning of the year that feels even more relevant now.

how to the hold the pain is a collage/web weaving zine i did for this year's blaseball zine jam, using blaseball narratives as a way to view crip theory and vice versa. i spent a LOT of time reading through articles for this (both academic and other) and every second of it was worth it. genuinely one of my favourite things i made all year.

Fic

i wrote a lot less fic this year than the previous two for a multitude of reasons but i still put out a few bangers!! here's a brief selection of my favourites:

swallow your guilt (blaseball, 13.2k), a story about the new seattle garages, the old chicago firefighters, grief, and finally growing up, all through the biased eyes of one baby "ruthless" triumphant

spectroscopy, or a snapshot of a light and that which it absorbs (blaseball, 2.6k), the coda to my bright zimmerman series. i technically wrote this in the fall of 2022 but posted it in march so it still counts.

somewhere there's a fire burning (rogue one, 1k), a character study of bohdi rook between the destructions of nijedha and scarif. my first non-blb fic! and still a banger imo

i play dead, come alive (hatchetfield, 12x100), character study of stephanie lauter during the events of npmd. now officially my most popular fic and honestly i'm good with that!!! i think it's a solid little fic.

just all of corona borealis. i did some good stuff about grief and growth this year y'all.

the back half of this year was mostly filled with portfolio updating, job hunting, and just generally struggling with everything lol but!!! i still made some cool stuff and am hoping to get more back to making stuff next year! it's where i feel most at home. have fun checking these out if you do!

#s.txt #stara makes stuff #blaseball #indiedev #gamedev #zines #2023 #happy new year #...almost

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acoraxia · 4 months

Note

Erlang and Wukong's rivalry runs very deep. There was this ancient poem that said if those two teamed up, they could achieve anything.

Also, there was this old version (I think the first?), of Lotus lantern, where Chenxiang had to fight against them. In this version, he manages to defeat both of them. it's the only record where someone manages to beat Wukong and Erlang although as I said, it's an old version, and it depends how people want to see it. I don't quite remember if it was mentioned if Chexiang merged with the lantern in this version or if the lantern appears in that old version. I believe that one of the reasons why Chenxiang can defeat Erlang is because the lantern is a creation of Nuwa. Then there were more versions of Lotus Lantern and Wukong became Chenxiang's mentor.

By the way, I would give you the link to where I saw the fsyy movie, but I literally had to refresh the page all the time to be able to see it, so I don't think you'll want it.

Greek Mythology: we have over three stories for the same myth and it’s weird and hard to follow every time! Nothing can beat us

Chinese Mythology: Hold my wine.

Funny thing is that you’ll find various different sources saying different things and we can’t revive Wu Cheng’en to ask him what his canon would be. Like the fact that in FSYY (from what I’ve read thus far) Yang Jian is the son of a Prime Minister rather than the Jade Emperor or how in other myths his names range from Li Erlang to Li Bing or Zhao Yu. The most popular version being Yang Jian though.

I remember reading that Chenxiang was taught by SWK, I never heard of the version where he defeats Wukong so that’s interesting. I thought his mother made the lamp too? Super interestingnckdnxk I love learning about myths and other iterations. Was the poem about Erlang and SWK working together from JTTW or some variant like that? Or was it its own poem :0?

oomfie idc so long as i get to see the dang movie i’ve been waiting for 84 years

#ask #its p inchresting #and ngl it makes sense that they’d work together so well i mean #NGL.. ngl swk has a LOT of the same traits erlang has the only difference is in their morals and ethics #like the fact swk had a drunken breakdown?? and then erlang had a breakdown over his mother in one myth #justice and then protector #ough #it scratches my brain esp with how swk was associated with guanyin who’s the goddess of MERCY of all things #mercy and justice go hand in hand yknow………they clash but theyre both needed #ANYWAYS SORRY RAMBLING #thank you for the info 🧡

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spicysix · 3 months

Text

girls make me wanna die

"the way we met not so unique / on the internet we make up things / a different story every person we see i'm writing poems and they're all online / under a different name, nothing like mine / i tried to tell her once, on a drunken night / but it came out all fucked like a bad pickup line i don't know when i fell. she doesn't know as well"

rating: T warnings: Eddie's trans in this fic, it's not a major plot point but it is a major Eddie characteristic heh. also, this is an Edancy fic, meaning Eddie and Nancy and i know that's not everyone's cup of tea so please for the love of god if you're not interested in this pairing, keep that to yourself, scroll the page, leave the fic untouched. don't like, don't read, all the maners. i think that's it word count: 6.1k author's note: fic idea and title from the song of the same name by The Aces. written for Lex's Spicy Six Summer Fanwork Challenge, for the prompt "rooftops". yes, i know i'm a little bit late (just six months), but it is Summer where i live right now so i think it still counts lmao. thanks again for hosting @thefreakandthehair ♡ also super thanks to my beautiful betas robin (@ronancevibes) and frankie (@blubblesandink) ♡

↳ read on ao3

I DON’T KNOW WHEN I FELL

The first time Eddie saw her, she thought she was a mirage.

It was Steve’s birthday party, and since the guy was still as popular as he used to be in high school, his house was packed. Eddie hadn’t seen her when she first arrived, and she later found out it was because she had been upstairs finishing getting ready with Robin.

But as she came down the stairs, all dolled up, a true femme divinity of Eddie’s most sapphic dreams, the neon lights were hitting her just right in a way that encompassed her with pink, purple and blue all around and it was one of the prettiest sights Eddie had ever seen. Eddie stood right at the end of the stairs and stared up at her, jaw on the floor, probably drooling all over her chin.

She probably could’ve fallen right then and there.

If she hadn’t looked at Eddie, still standing dumbly in the way, up and down with her eyes narrowed and lips turned down into a frown before she opened them to say, with the most velvet smooth, passive-aggressive voice Eddie had ever heard:

“Can you move?”

It wasn’t a request. It was a demand.

Eddie kinda wanted to bitch-slap her for it, but her own body betrayed her as she moved out of the way instantly and she smiled at her — almost fondly, but venomous, also all passive-aggressive and, honestly? Delicious.

“Thank you, sweetheart.”

Eddie was pissed off and aroused to her deepest corners, and she would later find out that it wouldn’t be the first time Nancy Wheeler would piss her off and still have her do whatever she demanded with that silky way of hers.

Eddie didn’t see her anymore at all after that at the party, and still had no idea who she was for a whole week before she ran into Robin at the grocery store. She asked her who the girl was, describing her looks and clothes. She tried not to be too obvious about her annoyance and also attraction to the mystery girl, and she thought she succeeded because Robin didn’t shoot her one of her bombastic side eyes.

“Oh! Short curly bob, about yay high?” Robin asked, gesturing somewhere around her chin level. Eddie nodded as she turned to pick up some sugar. “Yeah, that’s Nancy.”

Eddie stopped with her hand mid-reach. “Steve’s ex, Nancy?” she asked.

“The one and only,” Robin snickered and Eddie blinked a few times in shock before proceeding with her shopping.

Eddie thought she knew a lot about the infamous Nancy Wheeler, because she had befriended Steve right after Nancy had broken his pure little himbo heart, almost eight years before. She knew Steve and Nancy had worked things out and were friendly now, but didn’t know they were friendly enough for Steve to invite her to his birthday. She shared those thoughts with Robin, who chuckled teasingly.

“Oh, sweet summer child. You have no idea of the intricacies of our friend group, do you?”

That was true. Eddie knew of Steve and Robin’s friend group from their hometown and she knew that it was a whole beautiful mess off queerness, but she hadn’t met anyone but Robin so far, even with the almost eight years of friendship with Steve — and probably only knew her because Steve and Robin were glued at the hip. She knew of Nancy, and of Jonathan, and of course, knewRobin’s girlfriend Vickie, but didn’t know what their intricacies were.

She was honestly a little scared to ask at that point, so she just shrugged and Robin and her continued their shopping talking of other stuff from then on.

She saw Nancy again a couple of months after Steve’s party, because then it was Vickie’s birthday party, and at least this time Chrissy was able to go so Eddie wouldn’t have to be stuck to Robin the whole night.

“I’m so glad I’m not missing this one. I mean, Vickie’s a great girl and of course she’s the main reason, but that Jon boy was looking delicious in the pics Steve posted and I’m so sad I missed seeing him looking like that,” she was rambling on and on about her crush as she reapplied lip gloss on the way to the bar Vickie chose to have her small party at. “Did you meet him at all?”

“No, I only saw him passing by. He did look good, smelled amazing too,” Eddie replied with a grin.

“Ugh, you’re no good as a best friend. You know I’ve been in love with him ever since Steve posted that picture last November! You had to befriend him!” she complained but she had a smile on her shiny pink lips.

“You can’t be in love with him, bitch, you don’t even know him,” Eddie replied.

“I so can, bitch. I feel it in my tits,” Chrissy ended the discussion as the Uber parked in front of the bar, and they left it laughing loudly after thanking the driver. “In my heart, I mean. Under the tits. If he’s not here today I’ll leave immediately!”

“I’ll tell the birthday girl you said that,” Eddie sing-sang as she started walking faster towards the bar entrance. Chrissy yelled after her as they walked through the doors still laughing.

To Chrissy’s delight, the Jon boy was there in all his scrawny glory where he sat across from Vickie at the table they reserved for the birthday. Vickie was excitedly talking to him about something, gesturing all around her as Robin looked at her with pathetic heart shaped eyes. Nancy, sitting beside Jonathan, was also paying attention.

No, she was not the first person Eddie noticed.

Eddie and Chrissy approached the table and Steve lit up at the sight of them from where he was sitting on the other side of Vickie.

“There they are! My favorite sapphics club is complete!” he was getting up from his seat as he talked, and Vickie wrapped up her story before getting up to greet them too.

Jonathan turned to Nancy and they whispered between them, and Eddie would’ve thought they were talking about Vickie’s story if Nancy hadn’t shot her a look from over Jonathan’s shoulder. He then looked over too and smirked before turning back to Nancy and saying something that made her hide a laugh behind her wrist.

“Why do you surround yourself with so many sapphics anyway?” Chrissy asked as she and Steve separated from their embrace, and Eddie finally tore her look away from Nancy and Jonathan to hug Vickie tightly.

“It’s the ally in me,” Steve answered and it got him a slap from his favorite sapphic who had also gotten up to greet the newcomers.

“You’re literally queer too,” Robin said as she made grabby hands at Chrissy for her own hug. Steve just cackled and shrugged.

They finished their greetings session and both Eddie and Chrissy handed Vickie their gifts — a matching set of earrings and a necklace — before walking back to the table. Aside from them, Jonathan and Nancy, there were only a couple more people that were introduced as Vickie’s work friends.

“Nice to finally get your name,” Nancy said with a smirk when Vickie introduced her to Eddie.

Eddie narrowed her eyes. “You didn’t ask for it when you were bossing me around like a bitch last time.” Eddie didn’t made clear who the bitch was. It was on purpose.

Nancy’s smile only widened with her answer as Jonathan hid a snort behind a cough.

“She tends to do that,” Steve said as he pulled a chair for Chrissy to sit at beside him.

“Excuse me?” Nancy asked, but she was still clearly being playful.

“Yeah, no, he’s right,” Jonathan said before sipping on whatever drink he had.

Nancy rolled her stupidly beautiful blue eyes. “Love when my exes team up against me.”

Eddie thankfully wasn’t drinking anything yet or she would’ve choked on liquid, and that would be worse than choking on thin air —which she did.

“What?” one of Vickie’s coworkers thankfully asked, and all of the long-time friends laughed together.

“Oh, isn’t that a long story…” Vickie giggled to her friend who just shrugged:

“We do have all night.”

Long story short, they all had had relationships in some way.

Not like Eddie or Chrissy could judge, since they both met Steve on different nights out and they both hooked up with him in the respective back alleys of the clubs they were in, and Chrissy and Robin were definitely flirting before Robin went all monogamist-serious with Vickie. And they wouldn’t judge even if it didn’t make them hypocrites because there was nothing wrong with all that anyway, but that’s an obvious statement.

But none of their things with each other had been serious or even consummated, meanwhile it was kind of funny that Nancy dated Steve and then Jonathan, and Jonathan dated Argyle who had been in the bathroom and appeared in the middle of the story, and who was now on his journey to woo Steve into a relationship, and Nancy and Robin also had a fling at some point and so did Jonathan and Steve.

Eddie felt tired at the end of the retelling and she had been sitting down the whole time.

“Ah yes, the amazing queer experience,” Vickie’s coworker who had initially asked commented at the end of it all.

They all laughed at that and the coworker — Eddie really didn’t get their name — waved a bartender over for some shots. Once they were delivered and everyone had gotten one, Coworker started a toast.

“To Vickie, and her hometown friends who all fucked each other!” they toasted, and everyone laughed louder as they clinked their tiny cups together before throwing the shots back.

Those were just the first shots of many that night, each round with a more ridiculous toast to accompany the ‘To Vickie’ one every time.

After a few hours Chrissy was best friends with Vickie’s coworkers, and Eddie still had no idea what their names were, and instead had found her way in between Jonathan and Argyle as they all talked about photography, an art they all shared their love for. Jonathan was actually a photographer himself. The talk went from classic photography, analog to digital, and just as they started talking about Instagram accounts, Chrissy stopped by, whispered something right by Jonathan’s ear that made him blush, and they left together. Eddie and Argyle traded knowing looks and continued the conversation without the person who had begun it, and soon Nancy took Jonathan’s seat instead.

“What’s the talk?” she asked while sipping her fruity cocktail that Argyle then took from her and drank before answering.

“Our favorite Instagram accounts. We were talking about photography, but…”

“Oh!” Nancy took her phone from the pocket of her dress — a dress with pockets, amazing; Eddie thought — and opened the app. “It’s not photography, but this one is my favorite of all times. It’s so inspiring to me,” she said as she found the profile she was looking for and then turned the screen for Eddie and Argyle to look at.

Eddie had a really hard time trying not to choke on thin air for the second time that evening.

The profile Nancy was showing was a poet’s page, by the name of M.W. and who posted small, handwritten poems with a beige and brown color palette, a drawn sheet ghost as their profile picture. Clearly anonymous, even with hundreds of thousands of followers, the person behind the poems and the page didn’t want people to know who they were.

The person behind the poems and the page was Eddie.

“What-” Eddie tried to talk, failed, cleared her throat and tried again, “What do you like about it?”

Nancy got this look on her face that Eddie hadn’t seen before so far. Something fond and sweet, her blue eyes like pools Eddie wanted to drown in. Her smile was wide and it turned her face to something entirely different, all the sharpness and sarcastic expressions Eddie had been graced with so far transforming into earnest softness.

“I’m a journalist, and I love writing and sharing stories. Poems have always been something I wouldn’t do, because they all seemed so hard and too complex and I always thought ‘normal’ people couldn’t do them,” she explained, looking Eddie in the eye the whole time. She was like Medusa, and Eddie was trapped paralyzed under her stare but with no intention of leaving any time soon. “And then all these modern poets came around on social media, and they have always spoken to me in some ways, but Emme…” She looked down at her phone screen again, that same soft look that made Eddie’s brain short-circuit. “I don’t know what it is, but they talk to me so personally. I love everything they write. They are delicate with words without losing their candidness, and forthright without losing their gentleness. I just… I’m very impressed and inspired by them.”

Maybe it was then.

Eddie, of course, had no idea what to answer to that. She received comments and messages every day about how her writing helped and affected people, but it had never happened in person because no one knew who she was. That was different. Nancy’s words echoed right into her chest, making it swell with pride, but she didn’t know how to respond. She just stared at the girl before her, hoping her expression wasn’t giving her away.

“That’s so nice, dude. They’re really nice poems,” Argyle said as he rolled through M’s feed. “Do you not like them, Eddie?” he asked, and Eddie shook her head to get out of her wandering thoughts before glancing at the screen Argyle was showing her.

She didn’t need to look too hard, she knew every single poem there by heart.

She shrugged. “I don’t… think too hard about poems, I guess,” she lied without thinking, already trying to come up with other topics she could suggest to stir the conversation before she admitted anything.

The only person who knew she was the one behind M.W. was Chrissy, and Eddie wasn’t ready to make it public — probably never would be. The words were too personal, open windows to her soul that she carefully curated, that she poured so much of herself into and she wasn’t ready to share the backstage of.

Eddie saw as Nancy’s eyes hardened again, as she shut her jaw firmly and she felt immediately sorry for her lie. She didn’t want Nancy to retreat, she liked seeing her vulnerable side. The side of Nancy that related to Eddie’s own vulnerability, even if she didn’t know it.

“Too bad.” And then she gave Eddie that sneering look, the same as she did from her superior level at the stairs of Steve’s house, that up-and-down look that made Eddie’s face turn into a scowl instantly.

Both their jaws clenched and they narrowed their eyes at the same time and stared at each other for what felt like hours, but was probably less than a minute, before getting up to walk to different directions, headed to different groups of other people to talk to.

“What the hell happened, man?” Argyle whispered softly to himself as he was left alone with all the tension still hanging in the air.

Eddie replayed that conversation in her head for many days after Vickie’s birthday. The gnawing feeling in the bottom of her stomach that threatened to burn her from the inside out appeared every other hour.

Why the fuck did she lie about not liking poems?

She didn’t have to tell them the truth about being M.W., but she could still have said something nice about Nancy’s passion for the poems. Not dismiss it completely, making it seem like she was a total bitch, causing Nancy to go back into her distrust, closing the doors to her vulnerability. Making Nancy think Eddie had no interest in her interests at all, like she was still holding a grudge over nothing, like they couldn’t bond over something they both loved.

The what-ifs and the should-haves kept eating at Eddie’s brain, sometimes so strongly that it was overwhelming, and she didn’t relax even a little bit about it for almost three weeks, when she met Chrissy for their monthly brunch together.

“What’s up with you today?” was the first question Chrissy asked over their mimosas, no need to be at Eddie’s side for long to realize that something was giving her anxiety.

It caused Eddie’s shoulders to slump down and her throat to get a little less constricted. Just knowing Chrissy cared enough about her to notice the small signs of her distress made some of the fog in her brain dissipate. It was easy to tell her everything after that, the scene she had caused, the disappointment in Nancy’s eyes, the way it made Eddie feel like shit. Chrissy heard it all quietly, attentively, as if Eddie’s life depended on it because she knew that Eddie felt like it did at the high of her anxiety.

“I think you like her more than you care to admit,” Chrissy answered at the end of it all.

Eddie didn’t like that Chrissy’s mind went straight into that area instead of comforting Eddie, but she rationally knew that Chrissy wouldn’t bring that up if it wasn’t relevant.

“Chris, I don’t even know her-”

Chrissy interrupted. “And I think you should be honest with her.”

“I can’t tell her-”

She did it again. “I’m not telling you to come out to her as Emme, I’m only saying you could honestly tell her she makes you kinda nervous and you stumbled over your words near her, and you said things you didn’t mean because you couldn’t think through.”

“Can you stop interrupting me!” Eddie whined. “Oh, so I just have to make a fool of myself in front of her? Solid advice, Chris, thanks.”

“Why’d you ask for my help if you’re gonna complain about what I say?” She asked, swirling her cup around.

“I didn’t ask for your help, Chrissy!” Eddie all but shouted, her voice a raspy tone, and Chrissy stopped mid-movement. Eddie instantly regretted it. “Sorry. I’m so sorry. Ugh, I’m so stressed out over nothing.”

She hid her face behind her hand, embarrassment making her cheeks burn up, but she soon felt Chrissy’s cool hand on top of her own. It was soothing once again.

“Sorry I pushed too. It’s not nothing, Eddie, I swear. I still think you can be a little more honest with her if you ever see her again, though,” Chrissy still advised.

“Maybe you’re right. I’ll think about it,” Eddie answered.

“And I still think you like Nancy more than you want to admit,” Chrissy continued.

Eddie let her hands fall from her face and stared into Chrissy’s blue pools. They reminded her of other blue pools.

Nancy’s pool blue eyes hardening over Eddie’s words, the way her jaw shut tight, the clinical look she shot at her. Nancy’s pool blue eyes softening over talking about Eddie’s words, the blush on her cheeks, the adoring speech she gave about Eddie’s soul without even knowing.

“Yeah, maybe you’re right about that too,” Eddie finally admitted.

Maybe it was then.

Summer was approaching and as the temperatures started to rise Steve hyped them all up for a lake day. Eddie took Chrissy, Robin, Vickie and Jonathan in her van; and Steve, Argyle and Nancy went in his car. They all brought snacks and smuggled drinks amongst card games and inflatable buoys.

The lake wasn’t packed because summer vacations still hadn’t started and the middle schoolers, high schoolers and college students still weren’t free to enjoy the scalding Sun and the cold water, so Steve’s idea was great after all.

Eddie waited until the Sun wasn’t at its peak to venture under its rays, because she was as pale as a vampire and the Sun was a menace to her just the same as it was to the blood-sucking monsters. She’d burn instantly. So she covered herself in sunblock, hid under the shadow of a big tree with one of Wayne’s old caps on her head and a book in her hands, and watched as her group of people had their fun.

Steve and Chrissy were playing with a volleyball in the sand, while Argyle and Vickie went against Jonathan and Robin in a game of chicken in the water with Nancy as the referee. Eddie had fun people-watching, and when it came to some of her new favorite people it was even better.

As midday approached, they all gathered under the barely-there shadow to eat their snacks and escape the dangerous Sun beams at their high. Argyle had some pre-baked space brownies for dessert and they all shared stories and laughed about nonsense. Eddie felt happy that she and Chrissy were finally being more included into the lives of Steve and Robin, and that their friends came along. It felt like they had always belonged there, as a full group. It was amazing.

When both the Sun and Eddie weren’t as high anymore, she finally felt safe enough to take off her shirt and cap. With another sunscreen layer applied, she stretched a bit before asking Chrissy to join her at the shallow ends of the lake. The pebbles hurt her feet in a good way and the smell of damp earth was refreshing.

“How’s it going?” Chrissy asked.

Eddie looked at her and saw that she was staring ahead. She followed the line of vision and saw Nancy taking a few laps in the deeper parts of the water. She instantly knew what Chrissy was asking.

“I might have been stalking too much on Instagram,” she answered, and Chrissy cackled.

“Does she follow you?”

“Uh, no. Her profile’s open,” she finished and Chrissy almost choked on her laughter.

Eddie tried to hide her smile, but Chrissy’s snorts were endearing even if they were at her expense.

“What are we laughing so hard about?” The subject of the conversation appeared out of nowhere, Robin and Vickie behind her as they approached.

Chrissy laughed harder.

“Uh, just this dude. You guys don’t know him.” Eddie tried to act casual, but Nancy’s raised eyebrow showed she wasn’t buying. Thankfully, she also didn’t press further. “Uh. Nice bikini,” she pointed at Nancy’s torso, immediately regretting it.

Nancy looked down, as if she didn’t remember what she was wearing. There was nothing special about it, just a different color in each of the little triangles covering Nancy’s breasts, but now all the attention was in it, on them, and Eddie felt like a complete fool. If she wanted Nancy not to know about her stupid not-crush, talking about her fucking boobs wasn’t the best course of action.

“Thanks?” she said, kind of asked, as her answer to Eddie’s random compliment. “Yours is pretty too.” She smiled sweetly, and Eddie was a hundred percent sure she didn’t deserve that kindness.

“Not just the bikini,” Vickie whispered a little too loud, causing Chrissy to fall into her laughing fit again. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. That was so out of pocket.” Her freckled face was all red, and Robin was hiding a grin under her hand, and Nancy was suddenly looking at the water, brows pinched, pink cheeks, perched lips.

Interesting, Eddie thought.

“Ah, don’t be,” she answered Vickie. “I paid a hell of a price for them, they’re supposed to be admired.”

“Wait until you’re at a level three friendship clearance and you’ll get to see them uncovered. Maybe even touch,” Chrissy said, still in between chuckles.

“Well, yeah, I want to show them off!” Eddie spoke up.

Nancy coughed loudly. “I’ll go back to the-” she stopped herself and never finished her sentence before practically running back to the water, her body curving in a beautiful dive once she was deep enough.

Eddie felt glad she was still wearing her shorts, cause the tightness in them could get a little uncomfortable.

“You guys are funny,” Robin said, arm draped over Vickie’s shoulder, and her pointed look at Eddie’s profile seemed to mean something more.

“What do you mean?” Eddie asked.

Robin chuckled a little louder. “You and Nancy would get along real well if you stopped dancing around each other,” she answered.

Eddie bit the inside of her cheek before turning to look at the lake again. Nancy wasn’t doing laps anymore, instead she was talking to the boys. As if she felt Eddie’s eyes on her, she also turned to look back to the shore, and her gaze met Eddie’s.

She smiled so sweetly. As if Eddie had never insulted her, as if her vulnerability had never been hidden, she smiled the same way Eddie saw her smile when she talked about M.W’s words.

Maybe it was then.

“Still don’t know what you’re talking about,” Eddie lied, without ending her eye contact with the girl on the water, and her senses were so focused on only her that she didn’t even hear Robin and Chrissy’s snickering.

She really had to stop dancing.

Chrissy went to Eddie’s house and ruined her life on a simple Friday.

“You’re being so dramatic,” Chrissy said while Eddie paced around her living room, fingers tangled in her hair, and her phone still in Chrissy’s hand.

Eddie knew it had been a horrible idea to download Tinder to get over her not-crush on Nancy, and she knew it had been a horrible idea to tell Chrissy about it — but she went ahead and did both of those things anyway.

It started harmless enough, Eddie and Chrissy sat side by side, a bottle of wine shared with no need for glasses, a random movie on the TV as background noise. Chrissy giving her input on Eddie’s bio, her picture choices, the people she swapped right or left.

It started harmless enough, until Nancy’s profile showed up.

Only a few miles away, a stunning profile picture that made Eddie’s heart almost crack her ribcage, a bio that Eddie couldn’t even read entirely because suddenly her phone wasn’t in her hands anymore, and Chrissy was locking herself in the bathroom.

No amount of Eddie’s banging on the door made her get out, not until she felt like her mission was complete, not until after she swiped right on Nancy.

And then Eddie was spiraling, pacing around her living room while Chrissy finished whatever wine was left in the bottle, the movie had ended on the TV and Tinder was left open and forgotten on Eddie’s phone.

“You acted like a bitch and you know it,” Eddie said, and Chrissy only huffed. “Christine!”

“Calm down, I’ve told you already! It’s not like-” she paused mid sentence when the phone screen lit up. Chrissy’s eyes grew comically larger, and she bit her bottom lip tightly, the skin under her teeth going pale. “So, about that-”

“Christine!” Eddie yelled again, throwing herself on the couch and aiming for the phone already. “Please, for the love of god and all that is holy, please tell me she didn’t just-”

“You have a match,” Chrissy confirmed Eddie’s worst nightmares.

“FUCKING HELL!”

It was undeniable, right at the center of the screen, big bold letters in a way that Eddie couldn’t blame on drunkenness because she hadn’t even drank that much. She had a match with Nancy Wheeler.

“Why is that a bad thing? You have a crush on her anyway, you just learned it’s reciprocated?” Chrissy asked, already getting up to fetch another wine bottle.

“What if it’s a joke. What if she swiped in the wrong direction as an accident. What if she sat on her phone and butt-matched me. What-”

“Eddie, stop spiraling,” Chrissy told her, a new wine bottle in her hands that she passed to Eddie in exchange for the phone again. “We’ll keep watching whatever movie this is,” she checked the TV, saw the movie was over, “We’ll watch whatever other random movie and get your head out of this and tomorrow you’ll wake up renewed and look at this situation with fresh eyes and see it’s not that bad. Okay?”

“You just don’t want me to yell at you ‘cause you know it’s your fault,” Eddie grumbled.

“I won’t lie to you, my best friend, that is partly the reason.” Chrissy chose another random movie without really checking what it was. “But I also really don’t think it’s such a big deal.”

“Whatever,” Eddie whined again, but draped her head on Chrissy’s shoulder when she sat beside her.

She was warm, and smelled of berries and coconut, and she had Eddie’s phone so she couldn’t do anything stupid, and she usually knew better. She was probably right. Eddie let herself be comforted in the presence of Chrissy’s calming aura.

Eddie ended the night having no idea what the movie was about, her mental state a little over tipsy and a little under drunk, her phone back in her hands and the Tinder conversation with Nancy Wheeler opened.

She came to learn a lot in between one and six A.M., the time she spent talking to Nancy while Chrissy still snored beside her.

Nancy had a younger brother and a younger sister.

She loved ballet.

Her favorite singer was Madonna.

Her parents were divorced, and the day they told her the news was one of the best days of her life.

Some of her hobbies included journaling, roller skating, and painting her nails.

Her best friend was named Barb, and she was studying abroad for her PhD.

She legally owned a gun. That was terrifying. (And also a little hot.)

She had never used it, though. But felt safe having it.

She was power driven, passion driven, a force to be reckoned with, and kind and sweet while doing it all.

Maybe it was then.

Neither of them acknowledged the fact that they both had been assholes to each other, and just accepted the Tinder match as if it had been nothing more. Nancy had started the conversation as if they had already texted before, and Eddie just rolled with it.

They talked all night, and Eddie could’ve kept talking to her if she hadn’t passed out from sleep deprivation and alcohol consumption.

She only noticed the next afternoon, when she woke up, that she tried telling Nancy she was M.W. at the peak of her insanity, but thankfully had never sent the message.

She deleted it and said nothing else instead.

Eddie saw Nancy sooner than she expected — and, honestly, sooner than she was ready to.

She and Nancy hadn’t talked after that day, not at all, not on Tinder and not on Instagram after they followed each other. Nancy liked a couple of Eddie’s pictures and stories, and Eddie liked some of her stuff back, but that was it.

She thought it had dwindled out, she was too much of a coward to pull Nancy back to a conversation and thought Nancy had no interest when she also made no move to message Eddie again.

Eddie was nursing a minor heartache when she asked Chrissy to go with her to a party one of her neighbors invited her to merely a week later. It was at the rooftop of another building, fairy lights still turned off during the day but they would look beautiful by night, the Sun was warm and they had punch, so Eddie thought it to be the perfect place and opportunity to get her mind off of Nancy Wheeler.

Imagine her surprise to see Nancy Wheeler there?

Chrissy spotted her immediately, elbowing Eddie until she noticed too. She looked beautiful under the sun, all sparkly makeup and flowy dress and pulled-up hair. And Chrissy gave Eddie no time to think or react before pulling her by the hand straight into Nancy’s direction where she was talking to a short-haired girl.

“Christine, stop, what if they’re-”

“Nancy! Hi!” Chrissy didn’t let Eddie pour out her negative thoughts, and instead called to the source of all of Eddie’s most recent problems.

“Chrissy!” she smiled, oh so pretty. “And Eddie!”

Eddie didn’t want to get all delusional, but she felt like Nancy’s smile to her was wider than the one to Chrissy.

Chrissy hugged her, and soon came Eddie’s turn, and if she put a little more strength into her arms, and if she made it last just a second longer, and if she carefully sniffed Nancy’s hair — well, that’s her problem.

“So nice to see you two. This is Barb!” She looked at Eddie as she said it, maybe to see if Eddie remembered that conversation, and Eddie could never lose that opportunity.

She took a deep breath, inhaled some courage from the air, turned to Barb and said, “Heard only the greatest things about you.”

Barb smiled, and so did Nancy, and maybe, yeah, maybe Eddie was a little delusional and maybe she was a little biased but Nancy’s smile was wider and prettier and more important.

She touched Eddie’s arm after she hugged Barb, and she looked Eddie right in the eyes and there was something there — some gratitude, some recognition, Eddie wasn’t sure what it was, but it was there.

And maybe it was then.

“So… what about that poem page? Still digging it?” Eddie asked hours later, when Chrissy was hooking up with a stranger in the bathroom and Barb had gone home already.

Nancy turned to pay attention to her immediately. They were leaning against the rooftop’s half-walls, Eddie’s jean jacket over Nancy’s naked shoulders cause there was a funny cold little breeze.

“Yeah, of course,” Nancy answered. Her eyes were sparkling, and the sun was setting, and the fairy lights were on.

She looked breath-taking.

“Still your favorite?” Eddie asked again, just because she needed to have that little pinch of Nancy Wheeler’s approval, even if Nancy had no idea.

“Still my favorite,” Nancy answered again, her eyes narrowing but smile widening a bit. “You still hate poetry?” she asked instead, and the slight twitch in the corner of her mouth was the only hint that she wasn’t as serious, that she was just teasing.

“I don’t hate poetry,” Eddie said with an accompanying eye roll and a small smile of her own. “I actually envy them. I wish I could say stuff that makes you feel… the way you feel. Instead of constantly annoying you.”

She kept a smirk as she said it, but it was a deeply honest confession. Of course, it was her words making Nancy feel the way she felt. But Nancy didn’t know that, and if she didn’t know that, did it really count?

Nancy’s expression softened as Eddie said it, those blue pools opening up for her again. Eddie felt like she would never get tired of it.

“You don’t constantly annoy me, just sometimes… most of the time,” she teased and nothing about her face said sarcasm and Eddie smiled wide back at her.

Nancy’s hand found Eddie’s, her fingers small and delicate and they fit right in between Eddie’s fingers, and it felt like it was meant to be, like the perfect puzzle pieces. There was music somewhere around them, lots of chatter from all the other people, but it all felt so distant as Nancy held Eddie’s hand so tight it almost hurt but it didn’t because it was her.

Maybe it was then.

Eddie wasn’t sure when she fell for Nancy Wheeler, but she knew for sure that’s when their story really started.

SHE DOESN’T KNOW AS WELL

Six months later

“I knew it already,” she said.

Her hair was a bit longer by then, curling around her head like an aura and getting all knotted up right with Eddie’s hair as they laid side by side in bed. The air smelt like sex, like them, and the streets outside the window were quiet in the middle of the night.

“The fuck you did,” Eddie answered.

“I’m an investigative journalist, Eddie, of course I knew you were Emme like, two weeks after we started dating.”

“Shut the fuck up,” she said, and Nancy snorted. She knew Eddie wasn’t actually mad. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Nancy instantly sobered up. “Cause it’s important to you. I wanted you to tell me, whenever you were ready. That’s your soul, Ed.”

It definitely wasn’t then, it had been long ago.

But it was then that Eddie confessed it, out loud, almost screaming in a whisper:

“I love you.”

Nancy smiled, her blue eyes two huge pools of vulnerability, that sweetness that poured out of her like honey.

“I don’t know when this happened. But. I love you too, of course.”

#edancy #eddie munson x nancy wheeler #edancy fanfic #edancy fic #edancy oneshot #nancy wheeler x eddie munson #nancy wheeler #eddie munson #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfic #lui writes #lexssummerfanworkschallenge

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heybaetae · 5 months

Text

gifmaker / cc wrapped 2023!

thanks for tagging me my angel @jkvjimin 💜

i tried really hard not to choose all comp sets, but those take the most effort and therefore are what i'm prouder of than a standard set, but regardless...

here are my top 10 fave creations of the year:

bts chapter 1 insta feed // this was an insanely taxing project and is probably the most work i've ever put into anything, but i was really inspired to do it. it took about a week (one day for each panel) and was repetitive, i literally threw out my back by day 3 from sitting working on it that my body was in SO MUCH PAIN, but i wanted to get everything right and make it make sense which is why i wrote up a detail post breaking it down and explaining every decision that went into this. i still intend to make this a series and do one dedicated to their japanese discography (i actually started on one before i published this but didn't like the concept) and for their solo work, but it doesn't feel like the right time yet as things continue to release. but i look forward to it!

cheesy bts valentine cards // this was purposely corny, but the response was unbelievable! i had fun working on it and was so happy it made people laugh and smile. the tags were a joy to read on this post and it's my fourth most popular gifset ever. thank you!

bts guide to troubled birds // yet another corny idea, but i get a kick out of making silly comps and was inspired to make this. i started with jimin's as an experiment because his poem was the easiest to choose and built the rest of it from there, carefully deciding which poem to apply to each member and recreating them from scratch. i love celebrating their chaos in fun ways, so this was nice!

jungkook's sensitive tear ducts // sometimes i get really random comp ideas and spontaneously start making something with no plan. this was one of those times and it is now my third most popular gifset since making this blog in 2020 lol. ofc i'd never gif him upset about anything serious, so i only chose moments that didn't feel inappropriate to include to keep this set lighthearted and humorous.

long live bts (10th anniversary set) // i always knew i wanted to make something with the lyrics of that song because every word of it reminds me of their story. the 10th anniversary was perfect since it literally says "it was the end of a decade". i wanted the set to just be really simple so i went with a more desaturated look and focused more on choosing a scene from each year that fit the lyric per that gif.

love me again mv // this was my first time bothering to gif a music video in 4k. i usually avoid it bc it slows my computer down and takes a lot longer (i also have to reconvert the youtube download to a different file type to get it to play in my kmplayer, it's a whole process) but i waited a few days after it came out because i originially didn't think i could color it when it premiered so i just didn't gif it. but i gave it a try anyway when i didn't feel so pressured and i really like how crisp they came out.

jungkook's bday set // i didn't have a plan for this when i started, but i searched a lot for inspo and finally found something i felt like i could make something with so i came up with this very barbie-esque rendition for jungkook that i'm still very fond of. i purposely didn't write happy birthday on it anywhere so it could be shared year-round. it's probably my fave set i made all year and everyone seemed to like it too!

jimin's bday set // this was originally just going to include songs from FACE, but i decided it didn't celebrate jimin's work as a whole if i didn't include all his solo songs/endeavors so it turned into a big monster. i like how it came out though!

standing next to you mv // this year i was introduced to HD master files, so instead of rushing to download a new mv from youtube and giffing it fast, i'd wait for a higher quality rip from apple music to show up online. the difference is quite astounding. i made gifs with master files for all three of jk's music videos this year (seven, 3D), but i like how this one turned out the best.

vmin comp // just felt like giffing my two favorite people before they left and needed to channel my sad emotions into something before seeing them seperate for so long. i included moments i've giffed before and ones i've never had the chance to gif. i could have made this post so much longer but forced myself to stop lol. i like the pink and blue colors in it a lot <3 i miss them so much

thank for all your support on my work this year! i have lots of (old) new stuff in my drafts to share in the new year so please keep your love coming x

i'm going to tag @userjiminie @userjungkook97 @btsiu and @cordiallyfuturedwight to do this if they'd like to!

#tag game #cc tag game

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