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arijackz · 11 hours

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PICK A CARD: Your FS' Secret Kinks

❦ “She lowered her lashes until they almost cuddled her cheeks and slowly raised them again, like a theatre curtain. I was to get to know that trick. That was supposed to make me roll over on my back with all four paws in the air." - Raymon Chandler, The Big Sleep

Disclaimer: This is a general reading, take what resonates. This is a gender-neutral reading, change any pronouns to apply to you.

p1 → p2 ↙︎ p3 → p4

✦ Pile One ✦

Poor lil pooh pooh. This person struggles to “fill their cups up” so they get off on denying themselves pleasure. They secretly like the feeling of hitting whatever rock bottom looks like to them. Honestly, they want to be saved. They are wallowing at the bottom of a well, waiting for their savior to swoop in and throw them a rope.

In a more literal sense, they want a person to be their reason to live. Their reason to feel daylight on their skin again. Everyone and everything around them is unsatisfying and “fake”. They want something real to coax them out of their hell and entice them with all the thrilling things life has to offer.

However, they also like this dark and brooding side of themselves. They have a bit of a corruption kink.

They fantasize about a virginal angel coming down to save them, but they end up convincing the angel to sink down to their level.

They like exciting, spontaneous people who are willing to jump up and run out the door to do something fun at any moment, but think innocent fun. Like going to the movies to theater hop, and getting away without paying. Or, running around the Target parking lot in shopping carts and trying not to bang into cars. Maybe even steal a few street signs.

Innocent childhood fun that you’d see in early 90s movies. But add a sadistic twist to it that only they are aware of.

You would be the innocent virgin (doesn’t have to be true, it's their fantasy) who is unknowingly leading this beast (also not true, they are just extremely self-deprecating) to your pretty little happy places which they plan to desecrate.

They want to fuck you in your family home and make a mess of your childhood bed, making you scream so loud that you’re family starts to look at you differently. They want to take you to your favorite movie spots where you usually chill and hangout with your friends and turn it into a place where all you can think about is them covering your mouth in the back of the theater while you’re squirming in their lap, trying to escape out of their grip as they edge you to the new Marvel release.

They have a kink for turning all of your innocent, fun moments into their very own filthy fantasies.

Ps. Fisting came out of the blue so lube up!

Come To Me, My Senseless Angel

✦ Pile Two ✦

I don’t believe this is a future spouse, to be honest. This might be a situationship you need to move past. They seem emotionally immature, or at least this is a side of them that exclusively comes out when they’re aroused.

They can be quite abrasive and feel like they are constantly under attack so they’re incredibly defensive. They have a history of lashing out at their loved ones when they feel overwhelmed and get so blinded by their emotions that they disregard their affection for their partners and say really unforgettable, harmful words which permanently alters the connection for the worse.

They carry guilt from these actions and are in a constant state of regret. In this state, their sense of pleasure is a little twisted. They get turned on by causing a genuine issue in the relationship. They like the idea of pushing you to your limit where you’re this 🤏 close to your breaking point and at your absolute lowest. It’s when you reach your rock bottom and realize the need to move away from this person and you scream out, “I DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS.”

They like to grovel. You know that cycle where somebody fucks up and then they’re in the dog house buying flowers and being extra fluffy just to get in the victim’s good graces so they can do the same thing over again. So far, pile one and two’s respective partners like to feel like shit. They secretly like the moment where they completely fuck up a relationship and have to beg on their hands and knees to get their person back orrrrrr they get off on emotionally tearing someone down to the point where they get on their knees to bed for this person’s attention.

Either way, there's a lot of fucked psychological issues underneath this fantasy that I’m not unpacking here because it differs from person to person.

In its best light, this person glorifies struggle love. At its worst, this person is purposefully emotionally abusive with the intent to tear their partner down for their own sexual gratification.

They’re conscious enough to know their actions are toxic but don’t have the emotional maturity to work past their actions. They’re at the phase where they’re just aware and are like “I know I’m shitty but that’s just who I am. If they stick with me and the sex is good, it’s meant to be.”

I’m honestly getting twitter relationship hypotheticals with this one. Iykyk.

They’re also an edgelord. Less in an internet cockroach way and more in a witty- can be funny if done well- way, but they get pleasure from shocking people nonetheless. This energy can be directed toward you to piss you off and annoy you with the intent of getting in your pants later.

I’ve been guided to switch the conversation briefly: If this resonates and is someone you are dealing with. It is time to move on. This person gets gratification from hurting you and will not get past that high of tearing down a relationship and then having a messy recovery. They have their own issues to work through and cannot see how they are hurting you. There is no future with this person, they came into your life to teach you a lesson about your self-value. That cycle has run its course and it's time to move on.

To be honest, I’m not a fan of this person and don’t even want to list the explicit kinks that came out but I will just in case this message is for you but you’re not sure.

Random messages: Hot tub/pool sex, hair pulling, break down crying, interracial, milk, broken condom, “i fucking hate you”, “whore”, mirror, drunk sex, complaining, smack a bitch, twitter

P.S. You’re too sexy for the bullshit! There is bigger and greater out there, you just need to believe that for yourself!

This person will not get a mood board out of me.

✦ Pile Three ✦

Okay, so this person has some deep religious guilt. This is a male presenting person. I am being clear with their sex because it plays a role in this reading. They have some majorly repressed feminine energy. They may even be attracted to the same sex.

This is a fs reading, so they are likely bi, pansexual, or trans. Either way, their family is close-minded and is not supportive of them. They were forced to leave home so they could finally live their truth. They have lived their entire life fitting somebody else’s narrative. They were the hypermasculine bro type to “cover up” their femininity.

So, they have a kink for hyperfeminity. It’s almost to the point where they obsess over the caricature of girlhood. I see lots of pink, high heels, full-glam, all-day mall shopping, pinup curls, flashy jewelry, sleepovers, day spas, that scene in Scott Pilgrim where that girl is like “SHE’S PROBABLY LIKE 25!”, and everything else that gets associated with “girlhood” nowadays.

They fantasize about you in your receptive energy, being waited on and cared for hand and foot. They like to observe the way you move. Everything about you and your feminine aura is incredibly alluring to them. The way with each breath your breasts fall, the way your hips swat with each step, the cute way you match your accessories with your outfits. They notice everything about you.

You know those paintings of wealthy women lying on their sides and being fed grapes? That. They’re not in the serving role, they're the painter. Their kink is capturing you in those everyday moments where the world seems to be waiting on you like you’re the collective’s queen.

They see femininity in a higher light than the general population. They see women as automatically deserving of this type of care, they also want this care.

They have a secret hard-on for pregnant women and women with swollen breasts. They have a lactation kink. They fantasize about cumming in you over and over again. They see you as a Goddess, so they want to see you masturbate at church on an altar, like you're waiting to be worshipped.

A lot of their fantasies, they’re not even included in. It’s just you looking God-like and being worshipped by the world around you. This person may hate when you wear clothes. They act like the fabric is committing a sin by covering your body. They just want to capture your essence. Like an admirer and a student.

P.S. Dick game goes CRAZY. They watch a lot of women-focused porn to study what gets a woman off. Like Maddie in Euphoria, here is there to study.

Pretty In Pink

✦ Pile Four ✦

WE GOT A PLEASURE DOM IN THE BUILDING Y’ALL STAY CALM. As my mama would say, they love your dirty drawls!

You could do no wrong in this person’s eyes. They’re the golden retriever type. Head empty, leading with heart and IN LOVE>>>>>

You are the pot of gold and the end of the rainbow they’re chasing. They appreciate a good fling but they’ve never felt this before. The emotions you stir in them are unprecedented, this is puppy, sandbox love that most people lose touch with after life jades them.

This is raw love at its most unprocessed. I taste honey.

They have a kink for the power you have over them. It’s like you have a carrot on a stick and they’re the pig being led to a love den they can’t escape. And they’ll happily be the squealing pig in every lifetime they get with you. This is a soul yearning.

You will know this person because they will proactively pursue you and they will have no doubts in their mind about it. They are really attracted to your physical form, your curves. Even if you’re on the slimmer side, they like your structure and the dips in your spine. They’ll stare at you when you’re talking and zone out, thinking about how attractive they find you.

They’re not used to having to try to get someone to sleep with them. They have to put effort towards you and they like that. This person is downright thirsty and craves intimacy with you.

Their fantasies aren’t even dirty, they’re passionate. They want to put you in a mating press, with your knees pressed all the way up beside your ears. They want to penetrate (could be with a toy) deeply and touch that gooey part of you that makes you see stars.

They want to see an imprint of them in your lower belly. Any position where you’re in their arms is a go for them because they like having you. They want every moment to be just you and them away from the world. So very sweet and intimate. They also love marking you, expect lots of hickeys.

Ignore them from time to time too (healthily, these conditions should be discussed beforehand)! They see you as the ultimate prize, so if you delay their satisfaction, they’ll feel like they’re chasing again, which gets them off. They like to feel like they’re convincing you to sleep with them. You both are consenting, but they like the idea of you having better things to do and they’re trying to convince you to stay and party with them.

They are very action-oriented and love movement. Anything that involves an adventure together, they are down for.

PS. Surprise them with a bubble bath together, they’ll love that. And tease them while pulling their hair a bit!

Ode To My Darling Sun

#arijackz #pac #pick a card #tarot #tarot reading #pick a pile #astrology observations #muah

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p0pcorn-hearts · 3 days

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It's Kawaii~Chan time

I am gonna ramble about my rewrite so yknow, enter the theater with caution

I just wanna start off by saying I renamed her to Hanami, which is the Japanese word for flowers viewing, more specifically viewing cherry blossoms. I figured this fit her more "cutesy" design as well as her usually pink and white color pallette. Also excuse me if they look bad, these were made a bit ago and I, for some reason, decided it'd be best to use the mirror tool the entire time

So, for her Phoenix Drop High uniform I just redesigned the uniform and gave her the same every girl will have. I changed it to have a blazer and a longer skirt like actual school uniforms in America although I kept the socks, loafers, and bow because those all fit, I'm just also giving everyone the same pair of socks.

Her season 1 outfit has been drastically changed. I decided I wanted her to have a more lolita-esque style instead of just vaguely cute, and let's all be real here, her season 1 outfit sucked. So, I gave her a longer, puffier skirt, a shit ton of ruffles, and some cute gloves. I think now is also the time to have a little fun fact section about meif'was. Their nails and hair grow faster than humans, with their nails growing than both humans and werewolves. That's why Hanami has long nails and freakishly long hair

Next up is her adorable Love~Love Paradise outfit. I'm actually super happy with how it turned out and I'm in love with her little buns. Her bathing suit with all its ruffles was made up by me :D

Her Lover's Lane outfit is the one that went the most unchanged because it's honestly my favorite outfit of her's. It just looks the most visually appealing with the addition of dark pink being a primary color. I just changed the dress up a bit with the neckline and added ruffles

Starlight is honestly my favorite. There's just something about color block clothes that itches a scratch in my brain. The giant bow and see-through ruffles also added a lot. You cannot thank me though, I took this design from someone else's swimsuit. Her nails changing for the first time since season 1 and now having blue with the pink is also a nice nod to how she opens up to Zane about not really being herself

When Angels Fall. Oh God, When Angels Fall. I fucking *hate* their "disguises" in When Angels Fall. Buy I'll get into that later, right now, it's just Hanami. I didn't like her outfit much because she had literally never worn pants in the series before and to just suddenly toss her in a pair of jeans and t-shirt? Like it's supposed to show how drap everything is but why would she just have a t-shirt and jeans packed?? Starlight is an island resort and theme park, so most people will be wearing bathing suits, much more breathable fabrics than *jeans* and Starlight merch. That's why I gave her a different bathing suit bottom and a Starlight shirt. It's the least you can do when you're the most visually distinct character. She also is covered in bandages because cats, when stressed, will over groom and can injure themselves. So Hanami picks and scratches at her skin often due to stress so she has very chipped nail polish and is covered in bandages. Also she cut her hair (sad violin noises)

Her final outfit is for my "season 7". Jess hasn't made it but I want to eventually tie up my rewrite, so I'm making one. Me and my girlfriend refer to it as the "epilogue" although it's not really an epilogue, she just called it that once and I can't think of a better name. I gave her essentially a mix of her season 1 and Lover's Lane outfits because why not

Now that her designs are done I get to infodump about her personality (hehe)

She's basically the same as Kawaii~Chan, but I make her a better person. She doesn't manipulate Aphmau into joined her bakesale! She also tones down a lot, so while she still struggles with boundaries, especially when it comes to shipping, she doesn't have a fucking shipping shrine in her basement. She's also autistic in my rewrite, so her not getting boundaries, baking being her special interest, and her masking her behavior to fit what she thinks people want/expect of her all comes from that. Will I maybe end up projecting on her? With the shipping stuff yeah, but only because Aphmau and Kawaii~Chan made me think shipping people together until they stopped being friends with you was normal

So thats it, the exit to the theater is on the right, make sure to throw your trash away on the way out. Have a good day

#aphmau #aphblr #aphmau mystreet #aphmau rewrite #aphverse #aphmau fanart #aphmau kawaii~chan #aphmau phoenix drop high

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i-didnt-hate-it · 2 days

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I didn't hate Abigal, it was a lot of fun!

I was sick the week Abigail released, so I'm just watching it now because I'm not going to see the new Planet of the Apes, I haven't seen any of them yet.

Now THIS is how you do a Dracula's daughter story.

If you know anything about the movie going into it, you know what's coming, but they make you wait for it to actually happen. Making Hitchock's bomb a cute little girl? Bloody genius.

Abigail is a fun, exciting, bloody vampire movie. It's got to be hard to make an original and unique vampire movie these days, but I think Abigail did a good job of blending a Gothic tone with a modern gorefest vibe.

The soundtrack was pretty good, not quite outstanding, but not bad. The use of music (a la Tchaikovsky) was fun and really set the mood.

The casting was great. Giancarlo Esposito was very Giancarlo Esposito-y, Kathryn Newton was funny and made me want to watch Lisa Frankenstein even more (new horror queen?). Kevin Durand was great as "the muscle." Dan Stevens looked like he had a lot of fun. William Catlett and Angus Cloud were both solid. But of course the standouts are Melissa Barerra, definitely a horror queen, and Alisha Weir in the title role. It takes skill to make an audience believe a 12 year old girl is actually a centuries old vampire, but Alisha did it.

Spoilers below.

I feel like others might disagree, but I honestly loved the pacing of the movie. With how long it took for them to show Abigail as a vampire, it really gave time to get to know the characters.

The way they set the tone really somehow made it feel like a classic Universal horror, but it also felt fresh and modern too. Little things like the creepy basement, the rats(?), the big library, the statue garden thing. It really felt like they were in a house that someone had been living in for a looooong time.

I honestly love how two people died before Abigail ever bared her fangs. It really helped sell the idea that she was just playing with them. And the black guy didn't die first! It is kind of sickly ironic that Angus Cloud's character was the first to go (RIP), but I mean, bro was an absolute idiot.

I'm still not sure who my favorite character is, I really just loved the ensemble. I will say, I figured out the Rat Pack joke before Peter, not too long before, but still before.

I love when modern monster movies reference the lore, but make it their own. Like they reference all the stuff that kills vampires but only a couple of them actually work, the rest are just part of the legends.

I wasn't expecting to actually root for Abigail toward the end, but I loved the respect the was shared between her and Joey.

Those Ready or Not guys really love making people explode like bloody water balloons. I mean, what a way to go, I guess.

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aihoshiino · 13 hours

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Episode 3 Rewatch: "Manga Based TV Drama"

YEAH WE'RE BACK ON THESE AGAIN!!! As much fun as the liveblog format was, I found it was actually getting in the way of me *doing* the liveblog (it could take multiple hours for me to watch and queue up One Single Episode) so I've decided to return to a format a bit more like my chapter reviews just in the desperate hopes of getting these actually done before season 2 airs. In the immortal words of Brian H oobh i got plany off time. But let's get to it real quick anyway!!!

I have a really soft spot in my heart for episode 3 in particular because it was the first episode I actually anticipated watching after I got into the show - episodes 1 & 2 were already out when I fully contracted brainworms so episode 3 was the first one I had to actually wait for. A lot of the cuts from it are like carved into my brain because I watched that episode preview so many times while waiting for it to air lol…

I've said this before but the anime's take on her really is what turned me into an active Kana Enjoyer. Megumi Han's delightful performance and her character acting an animation all combine to make it really hard not to be endeared to her. Her excitement at being reunited with Aqua is really cute, too - I remember Han saying that she was specifically told not to play Kana as a girl meeting an old crush but as someone excitedly reuniting with an old friend and I think that's particularly sweet. The AQKN dynamic at its heart is kind of just two lonely kids who don't have a lot of other connections that aren't couched in transactional utility creating a space together where they can just exist without any ulterior motives.

gotanda's words being visualized as literally skewering kana is so fucking funny too. bro killed her. you really can't blame her for biting back during dinner later lol

Kana's putting on a pretty positive face about it, but knowing how deeply alone and abanoned she feels by her parents, it's hard to not feel really sad about this scene. She's chipper about it but this is the first hint towards Kana's current honestly kind of dire circumstances we'll see get expanded on all the way to the end of the anime.

Aqua's refusal to let Kana see his old acting is also really interesting to me. Intentionally or not, it feels like it's sewing the seeds for some stuff in Tokyo Blade; Aqua respects Kana's acting and Kana herself as a professional to the degree that he doesn't want to 'lose' to her in that sense. Or rather, he'd be embarrassed to have someone he respects seeing him stumble like that - a little like Ruby's freakout in episode 1 over the idea of Ai, specifically, seeing her be bad at dancing.

Aqua trying to play it cool and then immediately nerding out when Kana mentions Sweet Today is so so so so soooooooo cute. I love it when that side of his personality pokes out…

KABURAGI NAMEDROP JUMPSCARE!!!!! i made the same face, aqua... I won't go into my Kaburagi Villain Propaganda here, but it really is so deeply suspicious that Kaburashi was on her oldest, most private phone…

KANA'S LITTLE 'I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE' MOMENT………. AQUMELT REAL AFTER ALL…. (NOT CLICKBAIT)

ruby's lain brand milk vexes and haunts me

Aqua's quietly pained, guilty expression when Ruby misreads his intentions for becoming an actor is so good, as is his cold internal dismissal of Ai's wish… it's funny to see him insisting he's not doing this for Ai's sake when really, everything Aqua does comes back to his mom.

Man, though. What even is there to say about the Sweet Today bits lmao. Holy shit. Particular shout out to Melt's seiyuu, Seiji Maeda, for making his in-character acting so authentically awkward and clunky without it coming off as overwrought or like he himself was giving a bad performance. That's suuuuuch a delicate thread to weave but he does it exceptionally well.

This scene also has one of my all time favourite punch ups from the manga - in the original, Ruby just kind of gets the manga from nowhere and makes the comparisons that way but the anime makes Aqua the one to go get his copy and start silently flipping through it to compare until Ruby snatches it… it really is the perfect teeing up for him to run off and tattle to Kana even though he was pretending he didn't give a shit lol. Dork ass boy.

This talk at the karaoke bar is really good, too. The directing is pretty simply but I feel like the anime producton really shows off just how strong its expression and character acting work is here which does a lot to help along what's otherwise a very static conversation. The contrast in Aqua and Kana's energy is also very fun - Aqua's really still while Kana's very animated.

The manga hasn't really touched on this in a while but the content of the conversation here also starts a thread that I really liked in the early parts of Oshi no Ko about how hard it is to create good art in an environment like the entertainment industry. Tokyo Blade centers this more and is almost explicitly a follow up to Sweet Today's exploration of this idea but the seeds are sewn here, of the necessary compromises that need to be made just to get something out the door and how that can ultimately destroy the final product no matter how many well-meaning and passionate people are doing their absolute best to make something worth engaging with.

i'm also pretty sure this talk is the first time we see aqua smile after episode 1… cute.

The directing also really shines in that little moment at the end where Kana grabs Aqua's hand. In prior cuts, the two are visually separated in that they're both sat apart and there are multiple lines running between them in the background to section them off from each other.

But then just as Kana breeches Aqua's defenses and disarms him, she physically reaches past all these little barriers to finally get into his space. It's subtle but well done.

His wide-eyed slightly stunned face is also really sweet. We see this look on Aqua a lot when it comes to Kana and it always makes me smile a bit. She's excellent at getting under his skin whether she means to or not.

"now my body has caught up with my mental age" says aqua, confirming his mental age is that of a teenager, and mfs are still out here acting like he's a 30 year old man.

Oof, oof and oof. Kana's little speech here already makes me so soft and knowing how it's going to be utterly spat upon in just a moment by Kaburagi's callousness towards her just makes it hurt even more. We continually see reference to this supposed good relationship between Kana and Kaburagi during this episode and so knowing that he's ultimately just another shitty adult taking advantage of her clear desperation… masaya kaburagi when i see you it's on sight

This is also a really fantastic character moment for Aqua, I think. He himself says he's done everything he needed to do on set, so there's no need for him to start shit like he does. It's purely out of respect and fondness for Kana as a person and anger on her behalf as a fellow actor. For as much as Aqua likes to convince himself he's a coldhearted bastard, he really just cannot help himself when it comes to leaping in and helping people. He's a lot like Ai in that once somebody has his heart, he's theirs for good.

i also just have to fucking Scream at this cut of him. it hit me like a fucking TRUCK when this episode dropped. because it doesn't quite look like the equivalent panel of the manga, does it?

But doesn't it feel super familiar, even so? Doesn't it remind you of something? I wonder wh-

OSHI NO KO ANIME STAFF, WHEN I GET YOU!!!!!! (ENRAGED) (POSITIVE)

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #onk rewatch #onk spoilers #onk anime spoilers

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hayleythesugarbowl · 3 days

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rachel green x reader headcanons

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • f•r•i•e•n•d•s masterlist ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

a/n: we’re all a little in love with rachel right? on a mission to write hcs for all the friends characters 💋🩰

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dating rachel would include…

ok so you and rachel first met at her office

wow, it’s not like she’s ever done that before. *cough* gavin, tag, mark (kinda) *cough*

what i’m saying is miss girl has a type

so you both worked in the same department and she started to develop a crush on you

one night when you were both working late

you started talking and it eventually led to you making out on her desk

aaand you’ve been dating ever since

her friends were a little skeptical at first of her relationship with her coworker

but eventually as they all got to know you, you became one of the group

ross took longer than the rest of them to warm up to you ‘because of the history’

honestly rachel spoils you

always giving you fashion advice and buying you clothes

“oh, honey, this looks so good on you. and, you know, now you can throw out those old ones’

she loves your butt

calls you sweetie

does that thing when you’re holding hands where she traces your hand with her finger

pillow princess

she writes little sticky notes for you and puts them all over your apartment and in your pockets

and she always smells so good

she drags you along to all of these spas places and you guys have spa days

she’s really good at giving gifts

not so great at receiving them

‘oh, sweetie, i love it. it’s beautiful!’

‘rach, do you want the receipt?’

‘no! …. actually, can i just hold onto it?’

but she tries really hard to return only the stuff she really doesn’t want

when you all do things as a group you and rach are always sneaking off to go spend some time alone

like once when ross brought all of you along on a muesem tour

and you and rachel were bored

(you can only make fun of abstract art for so long)

so you snuck off to see if you could find something more interesting

and ended up getting caught ‘frolicking’, as the museum guard put it, behind a sculpture of a past president

‘wow, a public place, (y/n)! i don’t know, it’s kind of thrilling! i feel like joey!’

ross was furious

‘i can’t believe you two! in a place of integrity and knowledge!’

to which rachel said

‘i don’t know, ross. i saw a lot of people doing what me and (y/n) were doing in some of those greek paintings back there.’

and that ended that conversation

you guys get to spend almost every second together, what with seeing each other at work as well as outside of it

and sometimes it’s hard pretending not to be a couple at your job

lots of sneaky little touches 🤭

all of her friends love you so much and think you bring out the best in her

(and joey just likes watching you two together)

you guys couldn’t be happier and rachel loves you so much

…even more than weekend at bernie’s

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ˋ°•*⁀➷ hope guys enjoyed!! check out my other friends hcs on my masterlist and have a lovely day!! 🎀🖇️

#rachel green #rachel green x reader #rachel green x reader headcanons #rachel green headcanons #f•r•i•e•n•d•s #friends x reader #friends headcanons #friends imagines #friends tv #fanfiction #fanfic #reader insert #x reader #headcanon #friends

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fluffs-n-stuffs · 5 months

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"Do you not realize it? Do you... truly not see what this means?"

The next Destiny Bond update is in progress! ❄️✨ –> Check out the latest part here 🔷 –> New to the series? Follow from the start! 💜

#we back for the winter season bois :} ☃️#got some Particularly Fun parts I wanna have done before the end of the year--that I'll hopefully have time to do over the term break !!! 💫#it's actually so? insane? how we're nearing the end of the year already??????????????HUH #just a little over a week and some Ridiculous cramming I'll have to pull off (no thanks to past me sdskjfs) before I'm free for the holiday #I mean I'd--still have freelancing to do of course but without the looming dread of actively avoiding college responsibilities at least /lh #it's even more insane somehow looking back on when I actually started this whole comic that spiraled Wildly out of controlSKDJFNSDFS #to think that this all started from a prompt I had a few days after my birthday--into its own whole story I wanna see through is---#honestly something I'm really proud of. something I'm really happy I got to do for myself since it's-above all a passion project if anythin #I'm a lot slower these days what with juggling my own mental crises here and there on top of work for sure #but I get to come back to working on this whenever I find myself feeling down or with some free time to unwind and it's--really nice 💖💕#and we're still in the beginning I swear to god we're still so early I'm so sorry this is gonna take so longSDHFIUSHDNFKJSDHS #but it bears repeating how thankful I am to everyone who's joined along for this ride- who've been so wonderful and patient thus far #to know that even a handful of people out there tune in to this silly ol thing and are genuinely excited for its sporadic updates--#--has been a definite highlight in what's been a- Ridiculously--almost comically cruel year (in ways I can't begin to express skjdfnsdfs)#and what with this holiday season being all about giving and gratitude---I want to emphasize on how thankful I am for all of y'all 💖💖💖#I'll see what surprises I can sneak in to my schedule these coming weeks- the insanity of these following updates included hehee ✨#Destiny Bond comicverse #mystery man eusine #eusine pokemon #pokemon #pokemon fancomic #pokemon gsc #pokemon hgss #comic wip

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trainingdummyrabbit · 3 days

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How do you draw your chibis? No need for an elaborate explanation I'm just. a beginner artist trying to feel around some things

o!! i will be honest, my process isnt exactly very . helpful. its pretty much just circle -> basic head shape -> Draw The Rest Of The Owl(tm) due to my tried and true method of Fuck It We Ball.

but um! some scattered tips are smthn i Can give! though its kinda just what everyone else says. my best one is just kinda... imitate art you like. whether its proper Style Imitations or just Kinda Whatever is up to you, but th point is to practice something and then Do What Feels Fun. and then you can just drop whatever parts Arent fun. and then you keep doing that over and over until it frankensteins itself into something new :] mayb even sprinkle in smthn you just wanna try for funsies. who knows. art styles r like corkboards to me, yknow?

also have fun simplifying shapes. i like... Never enjoy drawing limbs unless theyre vaguely shaped like mlp pony hooves. its always just that but to the left a little. find shortcuts! do something silly! at the end of it all it really is just. Fuck Around Find Out Have Fun. sometimes it doesnt work. turn it into something else. or do it again if you want. what ever ! no rules. <33

theres always the Use Refs Do Studies and like yeah, definitely do that when you wanna push things, but also just like... have fun. do something weird. maybe youll like it. maybe you wont. but therell always be some sort of art :] and thats always good!

also dont delete your old art, youre gonna want to so bad but thats the devil talking ok even if you dont like it even if you can do better, keep it!!!! tuck it away in a file under your bed if you must, but theres nothing quite as nice as looking back and seeing how far youve come, or how the energy changes, or what you focus on-- and that info can be used for fun little stuff too!

tl;dr i cannot express this enough: do what makes you happy and Have Fun!!!! Priority Number 1!!!!!!! good luck, i believe in you!!!!! \o/

#piktalk #i complain a lot but honestly it really is everything 2 me. im not much of an advice guy but i hope this at least helps a little !#though i did kinda stray from the technical for . vibes. but um; well; hopefully you get th point !!! yip #i guess um. focus on shapes; is what i can say. not necessarily Strict Rectangles And Triangles--#--in fact thats difficult to do in a fun way-- but like... clear shapes + silhouettes do a Lot of heavy lifting for art yknow.#a friend once said t try starting with th silhouette and Then do the sketch and honestly thats helped a lot with Feel and Form #but most crucially: there are no hard rules! dont pressure yourself into em; theyre smthn you pick up if you want to play w em :]#um um. yea thats what i got; havefun o7

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craycraybluejay · 5 months

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throwback to when I was in elementary- I think 4th grade- and at Halloween, I was in my standard princess getup and there was this really pretty fellow dressed as the phantom of the opera- my favorite musical. I went to say hi and shake his hand, and he brought it close and kissed the back of my hand with a wink.

It was then I realised the power of a loli/shota/kodo. I remember trying to flirt with more adults after that, but I'll always remember that first guy, even though I'm an adult now

I would've killed to have experienced that 😭 who r uu tell me more stories

although i think if that happened to me i would have been crazy over it n probably went overboard,, i was a surprisingly not a very forward kid bc i knew i was like a dog w a bone when it came to anything i wanted. flirting turned to "dating" and feeling each other up right quick, anger turned to bridge burning and actual burning and destruction,, etc. If someone made the dire mistake of imbuing me with any sort of want it would be their problem 😭😂. give me a slice and i will make it my sole mission to have the whole cake. I've learned well to control the impulses involved but I still have the ambition to eat the world.

(also i feel like people do that stuff for the sole purpose of flattering the subject. in a lot of cultures its pretty regular that if someones dressed like a princess you act like shes a princess,, i should've dressed like royalty more.) (but ofc people on the recieving end sometimes like u or i get excited about it lolz)

#anon response #bro imagine if i was as open as a kid as i am now i wouldve been a total nightmare #'YOUNG MAN GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY COWORKER THIS INSTANT'#'STOP TRYING TO KILL YOUR CLASSMATE'#🥰 people were mean to me anyway i should've had more fun if i was gonna be punished even for doing nothin wrong #oh well still had a way crazier childhood than anyone i know by far #delete later #if people start being weird ab this #honestly tho i'd prefer y'all shoot me a dm if you have something that may come off controversial #for me to respond to #that way i can be a little less 'is this PR friendly' and worry less ab annoying assholes claiming i said things i didnt say #ive had people send me things i genuinely cannot publicly respond to #and while i am intrigued and really hella appreciative that they choose to share and WANT TO respond #i cannot and yall should be aware that it takes a lot of work to balance being 'authentic' and staying mostly unharassed on this site #but i do love hearing everyones stories and feelings and unique stuff so please dont be afraid to talk :3 #just know i cannot always respond to some asks for my own peace but will always accept dms #and know that i do read them anyway so if u just want me to see it and not respond thats ok too #i just feel super bad when i have juicy asks in my inbox i cant post

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sysig · 14 days

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Tainted batch (Patreon)

#Doodles #Just Desserts #Villainsona #Fine nevermind >:(#It's so weird to be posting vent-adjacent stuff while I'm doing so well currently haha #I started this months ago and have significantly improved my mood since then pfft ♪ I'd hope!#There wasn't anything specific at the time anyway just a thought circling around that I figured Charm would be more affected by #Considering most things for her are heightened in comparison haha <3 She'll get therapy someday #She also deals a lot in sublimation through art! And sometimes that means literally taking the materials and using them elsewhere #Honestly it's pretty cool that she can reconstitute her art :0 Drawing is a little different haha #I hadn't realized it'd been as long as it's been since I last drew Cirrus :0 #Oh yeah Cherry Shortcake actually has a first name now lol #A few residents do! If you remember my mention of Aria from a while back - Marshmallow Fluff - I think those are the current three?#Still haven't really pinned down a naming convention haha...I've been thinking about three-letter last names for what feels like forever now #She was also an early contender for Digitally Rendered Resident huh... I could at least stand to name the others that have gotten that lol #So many things I wanna do with her - really want to finish her Biased Narrator fic sometime just dunno how to end it hrmngh #Anyway lol she gets a one-panel cameo and takes over the post pft no! Charm time!#Evil Time Charm time - kicked up her pulse as soon as she remembered #She kinda sorta remembers what happened but more than that remembers the Emotions - feeling Laughed At #And clearly it's [this specific thing]'s fault that she feels foolish! Avoid [this specific thing] and never feel foolish again Guaranteed!*#*Not actually even remotely close to a guarantee lol instead she's just avoiding something that at one point made her feel good #So easy to turn a positive memory into a negative one with just a change of framing huh?#I can't think of anyone in her life who would exploit that fun little feature in her outlook not even one!

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0reblogufufu0 · 1 year

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Happy Birthday to @snoobins !

#Happy birthday!#I really hope you like the collages and edits i made!#i wanted to pay homage to what an artist you are and went on a deep dive down your creations over the years!#even though it was your birthday present #i had a lot of fun just seeing how your gifs have changed and the same with your builds in AC #It was hard choosing what builds to use because i honestly loved all of them! so i limited myself to a color palette of light and dark #then did rainbow for the edit #its my firsr time doing both so i hope they arent underwhelming or anything!#youve supported me a lot in everything I've tried to accomplish but dont always hold yourself to that same standard #i even saw you didnt feel good about your angles in the AC pictures but i thought they were perfect!#they showed off the details of the rooms really well and all the little stuff you might not see otherwise #Anyway #i just had a lot of fun making this and hope you enjoy it just as much watching it!#i wanted to appreciate you here because you're seriously the kindest person i know and if there is anything unconditional in the world #i believe it is your friendship and loyalty #so i want to repay that however i can especially on your birthday when i get to celebrate you being you!#never change and heres to another year together!#i love you so so so much #And thank you just for being the great human you are!#make sure to spoil yourself for me!#(ps if the video or the photo is too grainy i can send it privately)#i want it to be clear i didnt change any of the coloring on your gifs because they're perfect just how they are! i just compiled them!#<3 <3 <3

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elegyofthemoon · 7 months

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heheh friends :)

#no seriously nothing like spending time and hanging out w friends alskdjfalskjh i feel so much joy #we were sending one of the other students off cuz he completed all his training and stuff so big celebration #it was a lot of fun honestly!! i really wanted to do a little get together so we could all just hang out #we also got ice cream after ;; v;; (they had weird flavors!!!! habby)#it was a nice time i guess i just needed to stop being a hermit in my depression LAKSJDAFLKSFH #friends tag #depression: nooooo you cant hang out w friends youre gonna be a bother!!!!! stooooop #today: :)#snow speaks #anyways its been a good night #except now i realize im like 20 x more of a nerd than i thought before #literally everyone else slacked off for this rotation and im out here stressing and anxious like T _ T yall couldve told me i couldve been #in on it alksdjfhalskjh yall....#and now. i have to make myself study. or attempt to #asdlafkjsdh basically! ride the high #but as soon as the shower happens im going nightnight #fuck around and play honkai some more ig LMAO

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bumbleblurr · 2 years

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listen I think bulkhead is far MORE Boyfriend Material than most of the tfa cast but I doubt the majority of the fandom is ready for that conversation

#i admit i do obsess over the 3 out of 6 main guys the fandom goes crazy over #(the 6 main guys being bee‚ b1urr‚ shocks‚ megs‚ op‚ & blitz)#but in my defense. i only would want to kiss bee and thats it the other 2 i like to chop into pieces and cook them in a stir fry #bulkhead though is by far more hunka hunka burning love than all these losers #more hubba hubba even akdgdldhdlhffl #he goes so unappreciated tho including by myself i dont post any of my drawings of him :[#i think maybe its bc the writers dont. Bother giving him a huge struggle or anything so ppl dont get as invested in him #which could have Definitely been done bc bulkhead had this whole thing in the first ep #where hes like ''im not a brainless brute!! i have a sensitive side too!''#though they. resolve that by ''forget sensitive smashing stuff is fun'' bc this is a show for little boys in the early 2000s #oh wait did i say first ep i meant like the. 3rd ep ig #ok anyway #they do?? kinda touch on it again in later episodes here and there like the dinobots ep but its never.#Really Explored as much as i think it could have.#bc honestly i Love the arc bulkhead goes though where he goes to art #to express himself & kinda try to prove to the world that theres more depth to him than just The Big Guy #but they use it to be like ''BULKHEAD SUCKS AT ART LMAO!!! look at everybody making fun of bulkhead bc isnt it SOOOO funny''#like its not :[ but again this is a boys cartoon from the early 2000s idk what i was expecting #i think if it were made later it would have tackled that a lot better #and Actually have bulkhead being an artist be smth a lot more meaningful #idk maybe thats like me as a sappy artist though #at least the little kernels of a well crafted compelling bulkhead focused narrative are there. they just never put them in the ground #ogh maybe i should start obsessing over bulkhead and do the shit canon failed him on #this is how bulkhead lovers can win #i'll singlehandedly convince everyone that man is kissable (/j i dont actually think i have that skill to do that)#🐝 could you repeat the last part? 🟦

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clamorybus · 1 year

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i know "kids showing respect" usually means "shutting up and doing what their told", but my niece genuinely has no respect for her mother. its kinda fucked up to see, but it's my sister in law's fault; she just has no backbone, and has set no boundaries for that child

#it feels really mean to say but she genuinely doesn't #and i don't mind her being a lenient parent #i mean kids aren't little robots they're gonna fuck up and talk back and be moody #so its honestly good my SIL is flexible #but its to a fault #she'll say smth like 'i'm not going back and forth between floors with an arm load of toys for you #you're almost 8 you can grab some dolls by yourself'#and as soon as my niece pouts my SIL immediately cows and does it #and i do get it its not fun to be strict but she is her MOTHER. her job is to parent and raise her #being her friend should be a secondary concern #and again i don't think or even want her to be a super strict parent #and its not necessarily good for a child her age to be super independent #but an (nondisabled) eight year doesn't her mother in the bathroom with her yknow?#and the thing is my niece is a super smart and indepent kid! just not with her mom because her mom let's her #get away with EVERYTHING. like my SIL just has no boundaries and its gonna cause a lot of problems down the road #mickey.txt #its hard to explain if you don't see it every day but its just not a healthy dynamic #just. im the aunt and it feels like i do more parenting than she does #(which isn't true at all but there are moments where it feels like that)#(also my brother is far from a perfect parent but that's a whole other post. and my niece does respect him)#(again that feels like a nebulous thing and i promise i don't mean in sense of obedience)

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sanchoyo · 1 year

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re: last post I genuinely do think each ygo series has its own charm and I think its so funny when ppl get attached to the spinoffs esp. like they all have their merits and theres not rly a BAD start series, it just depends on ur own tastes!! theres something for everyone!! I think its rly fun to hear ppl explain WHY their favorite series is their favorite, too, when theyve seen more than (1) series

but I also do think ur fav series does say smth abt ur tastes. lol

#also not to keep joking abt capsule monsters but im desperate to find someone who says they only watched that one. and its their fav.#i think that would be SO funny #if I had to explain WHY zexal is my fav idk. yuma got so much hate when it came out i got INCREDIBLY PROTECTIVE so anything i see him im li #im like. thats MY BOY back off BITES BARKS etc #it has rly cool lore and ALIENS and the end group of villains is :') like. bestest most favorite little group of menaces #and its just fun idk. also the memories of watching it live aaaa....<-nostagic #sanchoyorambles #ygo #SORRY FOR TALKING SO MUCH ABT YGO BUT ALSO NOT REALLY BC I LOVE IT #i hope at least 1 of my followers gets interested from my ygo posting #and wants to check it out #....honestly i do think watching in Order is a TASK for someone not already into it lol. theres a LOT #it doesnt FEEL like a lot tho imo when u skip intro/outros like I do usually #idk i can watch 10-15 eps in one sitting if im trying rly hard #so 1-2 watch seshs in a week means u finish the series in like. idk 2 months?

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truethes · 1 year

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like most things in your childhood, your first birthday is a grand affair.

your mother had insisted as such, the moment she had intertwined the red and gold of the christmas tree with balloons and sparklers. the seconds it had taken your father to push any festively decorated packages behind one giant, out of place box. a blossoming barbara twig is pressed wholeheartedly against your tiny arm and the window for christkind is only opened once they have managed to wrap an extra layer of warmth around the cold that will no doubt keep you up screaming.

they pay no attention to the twinkling lights outside. only sigh fondly at the way krantz finds himself rolling his eyes the moment they choose to play their very own orchestra for your happy birthday.

they only wish to make this special for mien engel, as your mother whispers against the wisps of your first locks: a special kind of thank you to the one who chose to stay back on earth.

───

a few years later, they have you hosting your first party.

you find it makes you uncomfortable, because everything about it feels faked by the children that attend it. you try your best to understand them, to ask them the sort of things that they find fun, but their gaze refuses to meet your own, too busy staring back at the retreating figures of their parents in turn. even if this affair is supposed to be about celebrating you, all of them are only here to obtain the possibility of gaining a companionship with two entirely different beings all together, as if they are no doubt lead by the stars in their eyes over their hearts.

one even goes so far as to skip the hello and ask the question on everyone’s minds: which does the young child prefer, the piano or the violin?

even krantz is not quick enough to stop you from storming out.

your father is the one who finds you first, asking you to explain just what has happened to have you in such a state because: “a héros is not strong enough if he cannot rely on those he trusts ... now, what can i do to help?” it’s the type of talk you’ve heard well, one that never fails to open you up against doubts such as these.

( just as you always would, in the end. the floodgates of your mouth already opening up at the reminder of being strong with/for something else. it does not matter if you cannot save anyone today, as long as your father gets to save someone else )

“i don’t wish to have company if they didn’t want to be here.” you conclude. it’s the first negative thing you say all day. your father raises a brow, gives you a nod and seemingly goes up to disappear.

the house is empty half an hour later, the same three candidates sat on a table for 50 with merely a birthday cake and an elaborately wrapped box sat so calmly behind it. krantz places the party hat on your head as your mother coos her apologies in turns.

( you are five .... turning to six ... already ready to be seven before the clock strikes twelve once again )

───

“---- so what exactly are you planning for your thirteenth?”

the opening sequence to symphony number 40 falls flat before you’ve even begun. your fingers resting so haphazardly against the keyboard that you’re unsure if they should stay there, or if they should go like you wish to despite being prompted with the most simple of questions.

your friend only smiles and nods before raising a brow to prompt your answer once more.

“i don’t know.” you slip your fingers away from the ivory you’re so used to slipping away with, all the more focused on finding an actual answer. “my parents have a concert to attend to, so they won’t be able to make it.”

it’s the first time you’ve announced such a reality, but it fails to make you feel less hurt by it regardless. the orchestra your parents run have concerts that span months in advance, and the one they’ll attend to on december twenty-third is non-negotiable, and despite their insistence that they can definitely fly back to you on time, you know better than to deal with the jet lag between singapore and austria ( you’ve tried it once yourself, perhaps a little too foolishly: there is nothing worse than the tired that comes from an unwelcoming flight, no matter how many hours of sleep you may try to hide despite it )

but a talk like that had ended with a bad taste in your mothers mouth, her words far too forlorn in turn, as though it’s your fault they had to end up almost fifteen hours away from you.

it makes your expression shift far darker than you’d like to admit.

“maybe you could go and visit them?” he suggests pleasantly.

your ring finger slips itself across the keys, a frustrated crescendo. “... you don’t think i’ve tried?”

“maybe they know you like your home more.” he comments, “they want you to put your happiness first.”

that manages to leave your throat dry. you slam the lid of the piano down so quickly ( he only seems to chuckle in response ) and grumble between hissing teeth, “it’s never been about the place, it’s about being beside those i love.”

those you love like the man who sits beside you, accompanied by white walls and a simple piano you no doubt believe is disastrously out of tune. it does not matter the walls you rest around, the concert hall you perform in, a dream is a dream and every one you’ve held is tied to a worldwide ideology that leaves you a free spirit above all. those you love like your parents, whom you want to see smile instead of sigh down on the phone to you.

the silence sticks a little while longer and for a moment you worry you’ve managed to hurt him, too. but he perks right back up before you can even question it. he rests a hand on your shoulder and in reprise: “you’re allowed to be selfish, licht.”

you turn away silently. “an angel would never dare.”

the expression you miss doesn’t shatter, doesn’t allow you to see the guilt that manages to seep in, and you’re both mad that you explained and were not understood and irritated that you no doubt never would.

───

he dies only 10 months later, and his words echo in your head.

it’s a shame, perhaps, that selfishness is never what you’ve wanted that day to be about.

maybe that’s why you bury the rest of your teenage birthdays into concert celebrations / maybe that’s why every celebration comes for everyone else but you.

───

krantz voices his complaints about ... such circumstances on the eve you turn sixteen, sealing a deal with vienna’s own bösendorfer hall.

“have you considered watching someone else instead?”

you shuffle the papers in your hands a little more sternly ( stille nacht is what rests haphazardly on top; nothing more festive than a song that originated from this town in the first place ). your gaze flickering back over to him, and the nervous assistant who hides behind his suit like a child. “their tickets would be sold out by now.”

“not to their stars, they don’t. many young artists would be honoured to have you at their christmas celebrations, especially given your reputation ...”

and with that does he open the consequences that immaculate your existence, the only diffuser and infuser of your dreams.

“there’s no way i would simply take someone else’s seat for my reputation, because ... ”

the assistant behind krantz has the audacity to role their eyes, there’s a twitch in your eye in responce.

“i am an angel.“

and the twenty fourth of december has always been about angels giving to everyone else, just simply for one night alone.

you slam the papers back down, fold your arms in a way that makes your decision final. as if there will be nothing to change your mind.

krantz doesn’t miss such a gesture. you’d be shocked if he did. ever since your parents had placed your tiny body within his arms, krantz had dedicated his whole life to (protecting) understanding you. every unique mannerism, changing temperament, deliberately deciphered like a deliberate ploy to get you to understand him.

he quietly gestures for his support to go, taking a step even closer. “and even angels celebrate, try their best to take a break-”

you turn away, your expression souring. you know krantz is looking out for you like he always does, but you still ...

“the world needs salvation, krantz. who will be there to give it if i let myself go?” you say, and you’re aware that it’s the wrong thing to say and that you sound like a querulous child but you refuse to explain it in any other way.

“others.” krantz argues back, and your fist clenches against the sleeve of your jumper in tow. “and even if we don’t watch any of them, there are always markets we could go visit, decorations we can find for your parents, do some last minute shopping together.”

“backing out of a promise would make me no better than a demon,” you argue.

“and so would forcing your manager to sign something he doesn’t agree with. i will spend the day treating you, instead.”

you turn towards him open mouthed.

there are many times where krantz has reminded you he is the adult. pulling you out of scraps like a cat with his hand around your collar for one, always choosing to put your health and well-being over any declaration of grandeur second of all. and now, thirdly, towards events like your birthday.

you feel embarrassed at the reminder that he can simply do that. ( that he would choose to do that for you, despite it all. )

krantz takes the final few steps closer towards you, reaching to grasp tentatively at the forms you have already signed to chuck them away and you force yourself to bite back any spewed insults because despite the fact that everything was already planned like before and you have never been one so susceptible to change you can recognise that a decade is long but not quite long enough and you admit,

“thanks, then.”

krantz lack of expression breaks into a sunshine of a smile, hands stretched outwide for a hug. there’s a thankfulness behind his eyes that you’re not quite sure you’ve seen in a while, a swab of paper tucked in his pocket in a not so oblivious way.

“but i want a cake.” you demand. “and for it to be us two, just for this year.”

( because there’s something nicer about that reality, something closer to home than any fine tune could make. and if you can make him smile, that is another step closer towards your goal: krantz happiness means your family is happy, a wish you’ve wanted to bring for far too long, again and again and again---- )

“phillipe is not someone i want around for much longer, much alone christmas.” krantz teases as he wraps his arms around you, patting your head like a dog behaving much better. “this birthday will be all about you, you understand?”

and, well, there’s no point arguing against something as strong as that now. is there?

───

krantz introduces you to an actress in the month you are set to turn eighteen.

he labels her as the leading actress of the only movie this year you’ve shown any interest in. someone so deep into her role that she wishes to understand how to play piano from an expert in the making. with the way she smiles so hopefully behind him, it’s hard not to believe it. but when his (drunken) figure walks away, she relaxes so grandiosely you lean away in the realisation that it’s all simply fake.

“i don’t actually need lessons to play my next role.” she says without hesitation. she sounds a little bored at the possibility of even thinking about it, you note.

you don’t have a good feeling about this. “then consider this conversation over.”

“wait, stay a second!” her hand grips at your sleeve, and despite you tugging your hand back do you remain rooted by the fear of knowing she could be in danger, that someone could be ogling or chasing her and if he has to he’ll play the role of someones apparent interest to keep them safe---

“i’m asking you for a massive favour, something special i wished to do for my boyfriend.” she continues, rather casually. “but i have to be careful, since my bodyguard will no doubt get jealous if he finds out about it.”

you click your tongue. what a dumbass reason.

“is he a demon?” you say, and you have no clue just who in this situation you are referring to when she only laughs in turn.

“that’s something you’ll have to find out yourself,” iris placates, mouth behind a hand as if to hide the smile that seems to have made it’s way upon her features. ( even if you can still hear it in her voice. )

this boyfriend of hers is a quote-en-quote “mozart obsessive”, already having been through salzberg more times than he can count, reciting his letters like declarations of love. it’s clear to see that she is at a loss for it, so much so that she’s spent all this energy in finding an authentic austrian pianist to make their next christmas even grander.

“you’re performing in boston on the 28th, aren’t you?” she questions, once all explanations are out of the way. “... it was supposed to be on the 24th or something, or so the orchestra were suggesting.”

now that has your brow raising. neither of you are close enough to disclose something as personal as a birthday, but there’s no surprise that the industry finds itself gossiping all the same. licht todoroki does not cancel concerts, not even when sick with nerves or downtrodden with the flu ( a disaster in the making, naturally ).

just what exactly makes this christmas so important to you.

when there’s no answer, she bashfully continues. “i’d like to take you out to meet him personally afterwards.” you recognise this, at least: her dreams / her accomplishment. their shared dream. “and then, if all goes well ... i hope that one day, the infamous mr todoroki will perform in our house, personally, for us.”

it lingers, then, something you’ve never truly known but will come accustomed to very, very soon. above the upturn of her lips, her eyes sparkle with a gold so liquidised you startle in the next sip you take: greed. iris is as full of greed as she was once with passion, impassioned as in full of love, full of love as in ... ravenous.

she’d eat an angel like you whole if she could.

“maybe. i’ll think about it.” you placate, and you think, think, think──

later, when you are what you imagine to be tipsy and full of good food in your stomach do you hand her your only set of tickets. a single set of four, based on a family rather than a couple on a nervous rendezvous.

“do whatever you want with the others,” you inform her. “i hope to see them filled.”

( maybe, just maybe, that should have been the sign that things were about to change.

for better / for worse. )

───

it’s the 28th december and you almost manage to tick off everything you said you’d do. the 24th marked your 18th birthday, in which you managed to spend the time between krantz’ bounds of adventure and the silent grasp of your parents coddling. there was a performance in america this afternoon, hailed as one of the greatest feats you have accomplished in your steadily growing career. there’s even an invitation, and acceptation, between two young celebrities that you find yourself one half of, even showing up first as if to prove a point.

you’re not a changed man, not really, but something about this feels expected. feels like it’s the right thing to do.

you end up in a conversation with her boyfriend for what seems to be like hours first, and it turns out he’s just as fascinated as she is warned. your hands are prodded, fingers imitated in turn, but you manage to keep your composure, to stop the inevitability of them falling straight into this mans face.

the waiter runs in the moment your fingers flex. rushes to a kneeling position between your table, his words are timid, pained even: iris is now dead.

lost in a freak accident, of all things.

it’s - it’s like watching a movie in some traumatic, damning way, the man who had only smiled mere moments ago shifts into a picture of grief you’re undoubtedly unsure of how to take away, and even though there is no way to comfort him ----- to hold his hand would ignite the discomfort beneath his skin, to offer reassurance no good from one so practically a stranger ----- there’s still that apology, that guilt that thins within the silence that is grows between you.

when he buries his tearful eyes into his cupped hands, you take it as your cue to leave, a responsibility so evident it claws up your ribcage with the intention of over-spilling across your chest. but there is no amount of divination you can bring here, not how you had been expected to help, so you swallow it and instead offer a pat on his shoulder before you have to pull yourself away. he asks you to take his number, and you almost bite back how such thing would be inappropriate for strangers to do, but then you see the devastation in his eyes and remember that’s not the sort of angel you can be anymore, and you take it without a hesitation.

you leave without saving it, but he still offers you one small smile when you turn away, and as you walk away, the warmth of such a gesture despite the misfortune of the situation warms your body against the chilling bite of the winters storm.

krantz stands outside without a car when you see him once more, and promptly advises all of next week is cancelled on the misplacement of grief, and with a deep breath do you find yourself thanking him, requesting some time off before you go back to the next plane, and ask for the opportunity to be able to walk everywhere else you might have to travel for the time being.

he doesn’t question it, perhaps knows it’s better not to.

even when you come hand in hand with a hedgehog merely days later, even when you demand that you have to make him a chain to signify such a bond.

( after all, nobody could expect the events of this birthday to make everything else so different. )

#❛ ♡ › licht : 𝗶𝗰.#long post /#drabble tag /#OH ILL WRITE A SHORT DRABBLE---- 3k words later i am CRYING #this took such an angsty turn but like i am very pleased about it #theres so many headcanons ive thrown in which i will probs overthink havent been explained like #hes only had one party which was a sham bc people only came for his parents and his dad basically disowned everyone there bc of it.#lich.t spent the majority of his teenage years performing concerts on his birthday so his parents never felt guilty they had to perform one #too #and tht he just liked giving to everyone else over him. krantz always took him out for nice food / events during the day its just fact #he hasn't contacted iris' ex boyfriend. not because of any guilt or anything but rather because i just don't think he'd know what to do or #really say??? he did spend the majority of the evening uncomfy bc of the bloke so i do not blame him #if i was to write one more it would have been based on the future where lawl.ess and lich.t would have gone to italy to spend the holidays #with nic.colo and il.dio but that one would have been 1k in itself bc i would have been very indulgent in the lawl.icht but also wanted to #include a lich.t and il.dio scene to parallel the lawl.ess nic.colo one we get in canon #i also want to say writing iris was really fun but also made me emotional bc like ... she was a star who just realised she could do little #to get a lot. and honestly? shes not as bad as a person #the lawl.ess mention between her and lich.t was very cute tho 10/10 would write again #thats ur future husband lich.t have some respect--- jk #where was lawl.ess in that scene? probably out there hanging out with other people. i like to imagine when she was with her manager and bc #it was so near the end #he probably was watching over her less and just talking to someone else #if they met it wasn't in a way they'd recognise each other. just passing really #death /#birthday /#ask to tag /#im not sure what other tags are there sorry its 4pm and im screaming FGHDSJHD #ANYWAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY LICHT I JUST (KISSES HIS FOREHEAD)

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