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#it took a week because well. i am not kidding about the songs being in order. it will sound like a mess on shuffle.
boyhaunts · 8 months
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And the ghosts you've loved walk with you, here on the edge of memory. - a mix for OMORI. (note: best listened to in order 🌷)
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wutheringmights · 1 month
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After I finished reading The Epic of Gilgamesh today, I entered a fugue state where I sat down and read the entirety of Alanna: The First Adventure by Tamora Pierce.
On the record, I have had a lifelong love and adoration for Pierce's Tortall books. I first read the Song of the Lioness quartet when I was 11, and they rewrote my brain. I love them so much. I reread them and the other Tortall books on a semi-frequent schedule.
It's been a while since I reread any of the Alanna books, if only because my sister took our shared copies when she moved out. I've been meaning to buy my own set for a long while now but haven't been able to justify the purchase. The other week, I just so happened to find the first two volumes at my local indie bookstore. I bought them immediately, as well as ordered the third and fourth book. (And discovered that the store owner knows me by name-- when I went to pick up my order, she saw me and said, Hi Frankie! I got your books over here.) (I may be spending too much money there.)
So I have been in a bit of an emotional rut these past few weeks. Work sucks. Life stinks. The temptation to run off to Tortall and curl up in the fantasy story that captivated me as a kid has never been stronger.
Ergo, I ran off to read the first book as soon as I could.
If you're looking for any critique of this book, series, or Tortall in general, I will never give it. Sure, it's problematic and dated, and in many ways imperfect, but someone else can list out all of its issues. They're all perfect to me.
Anyway, the book. I should say something about this book in particular.
One thing I appreciate about Pierce's writing is how she handles school settings in fantasy. Learning and training is so mundane. All of her heroines have to work hard and put in extra hours of study in order to improve, much less keep up with their peers. It's so normal that it circles around to being weirdly refreshing.
Also, there is still no other fantasy author who handles period talk and birth control the way Pierce does. We make fun of the trope of fantasy birth control nowadays, but I rarely see it presented as it is here: as a part of normal puberty lessons and given long before sex is in the girl's radar. And even today with the glut of YA fantasy stories out there, I still have yet to see menstruation be portrayed as frequently or as bluntly as Pierce writes it.
There was a period of time publishers really tried to push the Tortall books as straight YA, which doesn't work for that reason alone. You gotta market them to middle schoolers. They're the ones just starting puberty talks, and getting scenes like this is so good for their brains.
Moving on: I fucking love these characters. Alanna was an icon of brash, temperamental heroines that have shaped my taste to this day. I love how even in the first book, Jon is kinda shitty. I adore George Cooper. Talk about a taste maker the way this man sets a standard.
I just can't be coherent when it comes to any Tortall books. I have no thoughts. Head empty. I am going to binge the rest of this series as quickly as I can before my library book comes in. Then normal book content will resume.
Before I go, I need to talk about the book covers.
Growing up, my sister and I had these covers:
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Which, god. I love them. The black is striking. The art is incredible. Alanna looks so good. They were the perfect pocket-size too. I was going to buy the same edition for my copies, but instead I got the 40th anniversary reprints:
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Not bad at all! These books have had some seriously bad covers, and these look great! Very anime, which will appeal to the 11 year olds who need to have their socks rocked by this series.
But, man. I really miss those black covers. One day I will splurge and buy a second set of them just so that I can stare at the art.
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discount-shades · 1 year
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Sleepy Baby Part 2
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a/n: I was shocked and flattered about how many people liked the first one. I figured I’d do Part 2.
Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin / Reader
Warnings: None
Word Count: 1400 ish
Summary: Despite all evidence to the contrary Jake is still very confident in himself. 
Previous          Masterlist          Next
Jake glances up from the dart board to see who was walking through the door of the Hard Deck. His shoulders slump when it isn’t you. It had been a month since you had played the Village Peoples’ In the Navy and walked out the door after calling him Baby. His friends had laughed at him when you made your dramatic exit. Penny had been delighted that you used the song in the way it was intended when she left it on the jukebox. To knock a pilot down a few pegs. She was known to play the song to tease Maverick.
From the moment he met you, Jake was hooked. Your smile, your laugh, your wit, it was everything about you. If he was being honest with himself it was probably the salute you sent him as you walked out the door that sealed the deal for him. You did not care that he was a pilot. In fact you spent most of your short amount of time with him mocking what most people fawned over him for. 
While the pilot schtick got him laid, he always got the impression that the uniform was the key factor. Not himself. Spending most of his time at bars near the base probably didn’t help. They tend to attract a certain clientele.
When you had called him Baby he had been sure you would be back and had taken to spending an inordinate amount of time at the Hard Deck, waiting. He had even promised Penny to buy the bar a round if she would call him if you arrived and he was not there. No luck so far.
“Get over her, man.” Javy sighs at his friend's antics. “You were clearly more into her than she was you.”
“No, she was into me,” Jake insists, throwing a bullseye. “She said she would give me her number next time, well implied she would, but still.” Despite Javy’s laughter at the comment, Jake was sure. He just needed to see you again. “She is probably at a different bar.” 
“That is because she is avoiding you, Hangman.”
“She is, but not like you think,” Jake took his time lining up his final shot. “I need to find her to get her number.” As the days of not seeing you back at the Hard Deck passed Jake was becoming more convinced that he needed to go find you. 
“You don't even know her name!” Jake could tell Javy was getting exasperated. “And there must be thousands of bars and pubs in San Diego. How are you going to find her?”
Jake threw his final dart and hit the bullseye again. Turning he grinned at his friend, “But, she said she worked with kids at the library,” a plan was forming in his mind. “I’ll just visit her at work!”
“This is starting to slip closer into ‘stalker territory’ than I am comfortable with.” Javy said, rubbing his head. “How many libraries are in San Diego anyway?”
“There are 34 libraries within San Diego City limits, and another 33 in the surrounding county.” Bob said from behind them, reading from his phone. 
Jake and Javy startled and spun around. “How long have you been sitting there?” Jake asked.
“Again, I've been here the whole time.”
Jake pointed his finger at Bob. “Phoenix doesn't hear about this!” 
“No promises.”
Jake pulled his truck into the library parking lot and gently laid his head on the steering wheel. This will be the 42nd library he has checked, and the last one within city limits. It has been six weeks since he has started looking for you and he has his spiel down. 
He’d introduce himself and apologize for forgetting the name of the woman who he had previously spoken to. She had mentioned some great kids programs for his niece who he will be watching for his sister who is on a business trip. Polite description of your features, hide his disappointment when he is told that no one matching your description works there. Graciously accept the brochure of the Children's Activity Program and on to the next library. 
The good news is that if Evie ever did come to stay with him for a few weeks he would be set on activities for a seven year old to do. He sighed and got out of his truck and made his way toward the door.
You are in your office ordering caterpillars for the yearly butterfly program your library puts on. After putting the caterpillar kit in your online cart you click the sale tab on the website to see if there is anything else the library needs. The first item is a 3D tic-tac-toe game and you are reminded of him. 
It has been over 2 months and, if you are honest, everything still reminds you of him. You regret not giving him your number more than you care to admit. Your therapist was right. You are ready to get back out there. But your heart is still too tender to go back to the Hard Deck and not see him. Or worse, risk him not being interested. He is the one that you let get away.
So every week you still go to a different bar. You make small talk to those around you. But you have not felt the instant chemistry you felt with the pilot. No banter, no jokes. And every time you meet someone who is charming you can't help but compare them to the pilot. And you still don't even know his real name. 
“Hi my name is Jake Seresin, I’m looking for some children's programs for my niece.” Your ears perk up as you listen to the front desk through the open doorway. When the man describes speaking with a woman who matches your description you search your memories for men you have spoken to recently. 
There was the man with a wedding ring who had hit on you. A single dad who had just signed his son up for everything, no questions asked, and someone who looked like a teenager who was looking for activities for his younger siblings. No uncles that you remembered.
“Our Activity Coordinator is in that office,” you hear your coworker say, “she is the one you need to talk to.”
You sit straight in your chair and look up, ready to greet the person walking through your door and your breath catches in your throat. It's him, looking just as good in jeans and a t-shirt. The pilot. Your pilot. He is smiling so widely when he sees you his whole face is lit up. 
“Hugs and Kisses, you are a hard woman to track down.” 
You press your lips together trying not to smile as widely as you want to. “I figured you were up for the challenge, Sleepy Baby," you reply.
“This is the 42nd library I have checked to see if you worked at.” He sits down in the chair across from your desk. “The thought of your smile was the only thing that kept me going.”
“Well 42 is the meaning of everything.” 
“Oh Darling, you are the meaning of my everything.” 
You give in and laugh, grinning so much your cheeks hurt. “I liked the imaginary niece in your story,” you lean back in your chair matching his posture. “Who did you steal her from?”
“Oh Evie is mine and very real.” He assures you. “My sister's daughter, she’s seven and happens to be delighted when she hangs me every time we play hangman.”
“A girl after my own heart,” you smile at the way his face lights up when he talks about Evie. “You let her win, don't you?”
“I do.” He admits looking slightly distressed. “She is the type who would steal imaginary kittens too and I can't help but love her for it.” You both laugh at his confession.
You sit for a moment, smiling at each other across the desk. “I’m Jake, and I never did get your name or number.”
You smile at him before leaning over and picking up a blank piece of paper off your desk. You carefully draw the number of lines for letters in your name and ten lines for the digits in your phone number. You hold up the paper with a cheeky grin. “Well Jake, my name and number, I’ll play you Sleepy Baby for it?”
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calumsargwife · 9 months
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"You Are In Love"
calum hood x fem!reader
summary: the journey of how you and Calum found out you are in love.
warnings: use of cigarettes and mentions of alcohol, a little bit of bad language (if i let something out let me know!)
word count: 4.7k (damn)
note: well this one is completely based on the song from You Are In Love by Taylor Swift. i know it took a while but here it is, it's the longest i've ever written. i don't know if someone's gonna read this since it's so long but since you guys seemed to like the first one i wrote i decided to post this one. i never wrote something like this, so i hope you like it!! (English is not my first language so there may be some grammatical errors, sorry!)
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One look, dark room. Meant just for you. Time moved too fast. You play it back. Light-hearted joke. No proof, not much. But you saw enough.
It was one of the many parties that took place at Ashton's house, people gathering for some reason to celebrate. The man honestly loved being the host, always making sure all of his guests were having a good time. The house was in a homely atmosphere (something Ashton always made sure was there), there was a little alcohol involved but nothing too crazy, the music was just the right volume and it was something everyone could dance to. There was good food and probably some fun board game that would make everyone a little more drunk.
It had all started about an hour ago when Calum decided to show up. It was cold, a November night where despite the weeks in advance, you could already feel the Christmas spirit.
Calum would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous. He was going to see you after the last date you two had. Before knocking on the door of the house, he briefly remembered the last outing that you shared, it was incredible.
After so long Calum had finally dared to confess his feelings for you, one of his best friends in the whole world. And you, who was completely surrendered at the boy's feet, said that you felt the same. You two met five years ago and connected instantly, not knowing how or why but it happened and both of you were so happy, you felt that the time you had with each other was never enough to stop being surprised. Being friends first had given the two of them a kind of comfort like no other.
And that's how it was, in the last few weeks you shared several dates and everything was going great, you already knew each other but with all this that was happening, you learned even more things. Everything was getting more serious and Calum was scared, but he liked it.
Once inside the house, Calum took off his coat and scanned the room looking to meet your eyes, and the moment that happened, he gave you a look that was meant only for you. A look that Calum only saved for when he looked at you. A look that made you blush in the best way.
However, Calum quickly found himself being greeted by his friends. You sighed but didn't complain, you repeated in your mind the moment in which your eyes connected and you couldn't help but feel how your breathing stopped slightly because of those eyes that you had learned to love so much in this last few years.
It all ended up being just a quick glance. The night continued and after a while, you ran into Calum (well, he ran into you). He was wearing a black shirt that accentuated his figure perfectly, you would have loved to take him in your arms at that very moment. He knew that, he had worn this shirt because he knew you would like it.
You met about an hour after Calum had arrived, he was having a good time with his friends but at some point he felt that they were holding him back too much from being able to have a chat with you. 'Who am I kidding?' That was the first thing he thought when he saw you again, Calum had been wanting to talk to you all night. You were turning your back on him while looking at the big city from the balcony of the apartment. You had on a beautiful black silk dress, it left your back bare, something that drove Calum crazy.
"Missing me already?" Calum joked after he finally found you alone "I bet you're getting bored without me." He assured in a teasing tone. He approached you and analyzed you, you were wearing a gold necklace and your nails were painted red, you held a glass with some alcohol. His hand gently brushed your arm and you could feel an electrifying touch that woke up every fiber inside you. You love how he makes you feel.
You rolled your eyes playfully at his very confident statement. "I was getting along pretty well without you, actually." You smiled and looked sincerely into his eyes this time. "I missed you." You could see how his eyes were filled with intrigue at what you had said, waiting for a reconfirmation. "I really did."
Calum smiled sweetly and couldn't help but look away from your beautiful eyes for a second to calm down. He really didn't want to blush right now. "Well, I'm glad. I've been thinking about you all night."
It might seem like a simple thing but it really makes you happy to hear that he thought of you the same way you thought of him. You liked knowing you were on his mind.
Small talk, he drives. Coffee at midnight. The light reflects. The chain on your neck. He says, "Look up". And your shoulders brush. No proof, one touch. But you felt enough.
Of course your night didn't end there. Calum proposed that you spend the night at his house and you immediately said yes. The truth is that the time you had spent at the party had not been enough for you two.
You felt a kind of excitement as Calum drove home. You guys weren't talking much in the car, the background music set the mood perfectly and you didn't need anything to talk about either. Small talk was enough to keep you entertained along the way.
Once at Calum's house, you guys set about relaxing. Still formally dressed, you were sitting in the chair that Calum had located on the terrace of his apartment. A perfect place to look at the stars.
Two cups of coffee at midnight, one for you and one for Calum. Drinking coffee gives you the little hope that you could stay up longer just to spend more time together, because it wasn't enough, it was never enough. You two loved to talk, you always had something to talk about and it never got boring. Maybe at some point you didn't have a topic of conversation, but you guys invented something so you could have an excuse to be together. Because it wasn't enough. Calum didn't know how to explain this insatiable feeling of wanting to always be chatting with you, something that really surprised him since he was normally a person who enjoyed silence.
You smiled sweetly at something Calum had said and looked away from him so you could look at your phone for a few seconds to see the time. It was half past twelve at night, already entering the early morning. You smiled to yourself at the feeling of being calm with the boy you liked.
You were wearing a gold chain with a 'C' charm on it, a cheesy and stupid gift Calum had given you for your birthday a couple of years ago. He could appreciate how it shone in the moonlight.
Speaking of the moon, Calum realized that it was at its highest point. He looked at you and spoke to you softly, since you were still looking at your cell phone. He said "Look up" and you immediately looked up from your device. You settled into the chair with the cup of coffee in your hand and you felt how his shoulder lightly brushed against yours.
And that was it. That was enough to know what you felt.
You can hear it in the silence, silence, you.
Calum was fully focused on the moon, leaving you a perfect view of his profile. The place was silent and you could still clearly hear the feeling that you now knew you had. You were afraid of being stunned by this, but actually, the opposite happened, it was all you wanted to hear.
It was so clear, so loud and so strong. You felt a pressure in your chest, that pressure was just letting you know that what you were feeling was actually true. Your insides were full of heartwarming thoughts in just a second, but you loved every single second of it.
The fact that the place was completely silent and that Calum had no idea what you were thinking about added a bit of fun to all this, if only he knew.
You were completely immersed in this new sensation, which was leaving you completely cut off from all the other things that might be going on around you.
You can feel it on the way home, way home, you
You returned home only the next day in the afternoon, the sky was beginning to darken. After a little argument about Calum wanting to take you home and you saying it wasn't necessary, you were finally making your way home on your own. You wanted to get some air and think about what had been revealed to you last night.
As you walked home you could feel the refreshing air in your hair and in your arms. You clung a little more to Calum's sweatshirt.
And that pressure in your chest came back. You've never liked a sensation so much. You couldn't help but smile in love as you looked at the scenery around you. The night was beginning for some.
You loved him. You loved Calum. You love him.
You just couldn't believe it. The idea of falling in love for you was something that was long gone and not something you expected to find again. You especially didn't expect to fall in love with Calum.
But at the same time you were not surprised. Loving Calum was so easy, he was just perfect. You couldn't not love him. He made it look so easy. And you loved loving him, it was something that just filled you up inside and you were so happy that the person you love is Calum.
You continued walking down what would soon be a dark street. Focusing on the sound of your shoes or how the things you found on the way home reminded you of him. Everything reminded you of him.
You can see it with the lights out, lights out. You are in love, true love. You are in love.
Once you got home you closed the front door and leaned your back against it. You sighed while smiling. The whole room was dark, the lights still not on.
In one of the furniture where you had photos with your friends you came to distinguish your favorite photo of the whole house. It was a photo of you and Calum hugging in front of the stage where he and the boys were going to give their show later. There were hours left for the concert and you took advantage of the moment to take pictures. You smiled to yourself remembering.
God, you are in love.
Morning, his place. Burnt toast, Sunday. You keep his shirt. He keeps his word.
It was a Sunday morning at Calum's house. The night before for the two of you had been magical. The two of you hadn't felt this connection with someone in a long time and you knew it.
You were lying on the bed, giving each other lazy kisses on the lips, on the neck, on the cheeks, on the arms, everywhere. Calum wanted to kiss every inch of you.
Calum sighed and moved slightly away from you. "I'm gonna make us breakfast, okay?" He said to then give you one last kiss on the cheek while inhaling your sweet perfume.
"Okay" You replied with a goofy smile as you watched him go to the kitchen.
A little later you stretched one last time and got out of bed too, looking for something to wear. You looked at one of the shirts Calum wears to train, you decided on a navy blue one.
As you walked to the kitchen you remembered what Calum had told you before you guys fell asleep. "I'll be here in the morning." And he kept his word, he was there. You looked at him before entering the kitchen, he was making coffee and toast for the two of you.
"The coffee smells good." You said as you walk into the kitchen. Brushing his arm with your hand when you passed by.
"I hope it tastes just as good as it smells." He answered with a smile without turning to look at you yet, taking another slice of bread to toast.
You chuckled softly, remembering the times Calum had been disappointed in how his own coffee turned out.
At the sound of your laughter Calum turned and looked at you. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of you in his shirt, admiring how well it looked on you. He would be lying if he said he doesn't want that to be his sight every morning. He loved having you in all his everyday things.
"That color suits you." He said admiring you while he wrapped his arms around your waist and left you a kiss on the cheek.
"Thank you." You answered while looking away so that your blush is not so obvious.
Calum chuckled very softly, keeping the smile on his face. He tucked one of the hairs that was on your face behind your ear and that made you turn your head to look at him.
Calum couldn't help but get completely lost in your eyes, it was something that completely mesmerized him and he knew it, he always knew it. From the moment he met you, your eyes were what he liked the most about you.
You were also completely lost by him, admiring the details of his face, seeing how there was a slight beard on his jaw, something that you knew he was going to shave later. You analyzed the small freckles around his nose, they had appeared after spending a day in the sun at the beach with his friends.
Then you raised your eyes to his and they stayed that way, looking at each other. Calum absolutely watching every move you made, admiring everything.
You don't know how long you stayed like that until you could smell the burnt smell of toast and Calum's scared face, who broke away from you in a second and immediately went to see the toaster.
A moment later he turned around and looked at you with a pout. "They burned."
Let out a laugh and you approached to give him a kiss on his pout. "We can make pancakes." You proposed with a sweet smile.
Calum smiled, completely melting at your smile. "We can, but none of those cute little eyes of yours when I'm cooking. I don't want burnt pancakes."
And for once, you let go. Of your fears and your ghosts. One step, not much. But it said enough.
Today was the day. 5 Seconds of Summer would release a new song. One that Calum personally wrote. And to say that the boy was nervous was an understatement.
He was feeling very scared for some reason. He didn't understand why. This song was beautiful and he was very proud of it, it was also an extremely vulnerable song that had taken him months to write, he was afraid of looking too fragile in the public eye and that people might not like it.
To be honest, it's a song he wrote for you, although he doesn't know if you were aware of this. The song talked about what it was like to let someone into your heart again and how scared he was to suffer again and to let go of all those ghosts from the past that haunt him.
God, he was nervous.
The boys had proposed to meet up for the launch, but Calum declined, declaring that this time he'd rather stay at his house with you by his side.
You two were sitting on the terrace of Calum's house. He was smoking a cigarette for the nerves and you were having some vanilla tea (it was your favorite and Calum had bought it especially for you). His leg was bobbing up and down as a sign of his current anxiety. You put your hand on his thigh wanting him to stop and you looked at him with a little tenderness.
"Cal, what's going on? You've been very nervous for the last few hours." My God, Calum hated how well you could read him.
He never talks about this, with anyone. Talking about his feelings is something he struggles with a lot, always in the end transforming what happens to him into songs. But Calum knew that talking about this with you was the right thing to do, knowing that if he wants to be with you then he has to start trusting you with these kinds of things.
"It's just... It's been a while since I wrote something like that, y'know... I know I always write about past experiences but this song is about the two of us and I don't know..." Calum sighed trying to collect his thoughts. "I guess I'm afraid of looking weak in front of everyone, I guess, I don't know..." It made him angry that he couldn't tell you exactly what he was thinking, he didn't know what he was feeling at that moment.
"Calum, the song you wrote is great, it's vulnerable, yes, but that makes it even more meaningful. I think that's going to make people like it more, you know?" You caressed his leg in search of being able to give him comfort.
"I know, I know..." Calum prepared himself for what he was going to say, it seemed to him something very stupid and meaningless but he knew it was necessary. He took another drag on his cigarette and turned so he could look you in the eye. "I think it scares me that once you know how I really feel you're going to run from me." He explained with a slightly shaky voice.
You couldn't help feeling how your heart softened for him. You brought your hand to his cheek and he leaned into it. You felt him visibly relax at your touch. "That's not gonna happen and you know it, right?"
He nodded as he studied your face with those sweet brown eyes of his. Calum didn't tell you but he really felt a weight less on his shoulders. He could feel how he was getting closer and closer to a certain feeling that he had been avoiding for a long time.
"I don't want to write a heartbroken song about you."
You kiss on sidewalks. You fight and you talk.
Calum loved walking with you down the street. Unlike his past relationships, this time he was not afraid to go out with you and show how much he liked you, he is not ashamed and wants to show the world who he's with.
But at the same time he wants to protect you, he doesn't like how public his life can be sometimes. He liked the feeling of his hands rubbing against yours when you are walking down a street with a lot of people, he liked having something just for him and that no one else can take it away from him.
His favorite part is when you're finally on some empty sidewalk and he can finally kiss you freely, he's dying to kiss you anywhere, but he knows that if he wants everything to remain as private as it is now, then he has to take certain precautions.
However, this has brought several discussions in the relationship.
"Why are you so angry?" Calum asked once he closed the door to his apartment, you glared at him a few feet from him.
"It annoys me that every time we walk into a room with the least amount of people, you immediately let go of my hand as if I were some kind of plague!" You knew why Calum was doing it but at the same time you couldn't help but get frustrated. Sometimes you wish Calum wasn't a public figure.
"I don't treat you like you're a plague! I just want to keep things between us!" Calum was frowning and breathing heavily.
"I understand that you want to have your private life but sometimes I feel that you exceed yourself! You don't want anyone to see us at all and it's tiring me!" You felt like a fool wanting to cry about this, but you couldn't help but make your eyes go glassy with anguish.
Calum sighed before answering, thinking about what he was going to tell you. The other day you guys had a fight over the exact same issue before going into a party. "If you know why I do it then why are you angry?!" He yelled at you, feeling how anger began to enter his body.
"Because sometimes it seems like you're ashamed of me!" You angrily yelled at him all your frustrations, trying to make him understand.
"You know that's not how I feel." He stated with a rather serious tone, you've never heard him talk like that.
"I would know how you feel if you would just tell me!" You are not going to deny that you felt a weight less after saying that. Calum always had trouble expressing his feelings but with such crucial things it was important that he tell you.
He clenched his jaw. "Are you always going to reproach me for the same thing? You know it's something I'm working on! It's not easy and yet you keep insisting!" Calum ran his hands through his hair in frustration.
"Of course I'm going to keep insisting if I don't see any change! It's always the same, I have to pressure you to tell me what's wrong with you and I don't want it to be like that anymore." You ran your hand under your eyeliner to wipe away a stubborn tear that had escaped. "I feel that you don't trust me to tell me your things and I don't know what I have to do anymore..." Now your face was covered by tears in a matter of seconds.
Calum completely collapsed seeing you cry. He quickly approached you and took your head in his hands to kiss your hair and then snuggle you against his chest. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, you're right, sorry." He gave you small kisses on the temple in search of giving you comfort. "I'm sorry, you're right."
One night he wakes. Strange look on his face. Pauses, then says. 'You're my best friend'. And you knew what it was. He is in love.
It was another one of the nights where Calum stayed the night at your house. You two were asleep in your bed, snuggled up to each other, him being that natural warmer that he is.
Calum was lying on your chest, you were cuddling lying on your bed. About an hour ago he had fallen asleep after a tiring day in the studio with the boys. You, on the other hand, weren't sleepy, so you stayed on your phone, fooling around on social media.
Suddenly, you felt how he moved over you and how he began to wake up.
Calum moved off of you to lie next to you, he had a weird look on his face, you were trying to figure out what he was thinking.
Then he looked at you. "You're my best friend."
And you knew, you knew what was happening to him. He was in love. In love with you.
"You're my best friend too, Cal." You smiled sweetly at him and he could feel how he melted, your smiles always killed him in the best way. You put your hand on his jaw and brought him in for a sweet, passionate kiss, making sure it was one that would take his breath away.
"You're going to kill me one day." Calum hid his smile against your arm and blushed. You laughed and stroked his curls tenderly.
You can hear it in the silence, silence, you. You can feel it on the way home, way home, you. You can see it with the lights out, lights out. You are in love, true love.
It was days later where Calum was returning from the studio to his house, he was driving and found himself stuck in traffic. Too distracted thinking about you to be bothered by the number of cars.
You guys hadn't seen each other all week due to your respective jobs and he couldn't miss you more. It was night and not having the lights on inside the car made everything dark, his mind was too busy to put on music, so he enjoyed the silence there was.
Not getting you out of his head, he started humming your favorite song. Giving little taps on the steering wheel to the beat of the music.
And that's when it hit him.
"Oh, shit." Calum stopped everything he was doing to focus on what he was thinking.
He couldn't help but think a 'really?'. Hell, he hadn't felt this in a long time.
Unconsciously his heart began to race. His head was going a thousand an hour and the only thing that appeared in his mind was your name.
He couldn't believe what he was feeling. A kind of pressure settled in his chest and he loved it. Calum couldn't help but smile as he ran his hands over his face and tried to hide the smile he had, even though no one was there to see it.
"I love her. I fucking love her." Calum declared as he looked out the window, the car in silence after his confession. He felt himself blushing even though no one had told him anything and how he had an incredible desire to see you.
And for the first time in his entire life, after so many broken hearts and failed relationships, Calum wasn't afraid to love. He didn't feel that irreparable fear that something was going to go wrong, he felt love, true love.
He used to be scared, so, so scared. Fear that leaving another relationship will leave him completely destroyed and without any hope of ever being loved again. Calum always had that feeling that perhaps he was destined to be alone, believing that this had been proven after so many situations in his past.
But everything changed when you arrived. From the first moment your eyes met, he knew that you had come to change his life. You became the light of his life in just a second and that scared him at first. But he didn't care, he thought if he had to have his heart broken for you then so be it. However, now he knew that it would not be like that, you were not going to leave and he knew that you were going to take care of his heart perfectly like no one had ever done before.
Calum was sure you were meant to be together.
Because he was in love.
And he wanted to believe in love for once.
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volturiprincess · 19 days
Text
You kill me
Caius Volturi x Vampire mate
Summary: Mated to the Ruthless Volturi King Warnings: Language, mentions of death, Angst, Caius internal thoughts 🤭 A/N: I kept changing my mind of how I wanted to write hence why it took me like 2 weeks to work on it, there will be a part two to this. Also this was inspired by the song "Me Matas" by Eslabon Armado, at this point its like a mini series of One-Shots being inspired by this group. Second A/N in the end. Enjoy :) Word Count: 4k+ (Didn't realize it was that long)
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(I loved him in this era, gold is his color, but he looks so good in red also)
“Well brother it appears you have found your mate”
I looked up at Aro who was looking at Caius. Mate? Whoever it is. I am so sorry for them. I have heard stories about Caius being this ruthless king who had no sympathy for human life, much to what my twin brother Carlisle has told me but he did say that Caius did have a love for the arts. Still I never had the chance to even meet the kings or anyone in Volterra, from the time my brother was part of this coven I was in South America exploring as always. The only reason why I'm even in Volterra was because Edward decided he wanted to kill himself for the reason he thought that Bella was dead. Alice brought me along not really telling me why, only said she needed my help.
So now I am here in the throne room staring at the other three kings. I could feel the blonde one staring at me but I avoided eye contact. Aro with his creepy like gaze swiftly moved toward me and my family,
“It is an honor to finally meet the infamous sister of Carlisle, may I?”
He extended his hand and I knew what he wanted. Carlisle told me about Aro, so I obliged without wanting to put the kids in danger. With one touch I relived every thought and memory I have ever had, it was strange seeing everything I have been through flash before my eyes. I pulled my hand away when I heard a slight hiss. It didn't come from Aro but it did leave me curious. 
“Magnifico! You will make a wonderful mate to my brother and a perfect addition to this coven”
My eyes widened at his words, what does he mean mate to his brother. ME. Since when? How?
“I beg to pardon?”
“It appears you are the mate to my brother Caius”
No way, the mate to the blonde, I was just badwording him a minute ago and now I'm his mate. Instant karma for me. My eyes then wandered slowly to the blonde and he already had his gaze on me, just from his face I can tell he was displeased with the unraveling events. I felt a small hand grab me and I looked slightly into the eyes of the one I was the closest to, Alice. 
“You knew didn't you?”
She looked down and I knew I got my answer, I looked up at Edward who had a flabbergasted look and cling more to Bella. Now I'm starting to think if Carlisle knew about this, did Alice tell him and Esme, my eyes widened slightly at the thought that I might never see my family again. I didn't even want to look at anyone in this room, not even the piercing blood red eyes that belong to my now mate. Aro was the one to break the silence
“Well with that cleared why don't we go on with the plan”
I totally forgot why we were here, I also forgot that Aro was on the verge to kill Bella and as much as I don't really like her, I might as well do one more thing for my family 
“That won't be necessary Aro”
The raven head looked at me with a look of curiosity 
“Why’s that?”
“What if we made a deal?”
I could literally see the spark or interest in his eyes, he looked like a child who was going to be rewarded with a prize for behaving. He nodded toward me to continue
“You spear my family and I stay”
What surprise me was Caius was the one to speak up next
“No deal, that human is a liability, she knows to much”
I looked at the blonde with narrowed eyes
“What if my family promised to change her soon?”
Nobody dared to talk but Aro piped in
“If they follow through with the promise then we will allow it, but you remain here and they go”
I nodded and then instantly a guard who had such elegance that would put the Greek gods themselves to shame led my family out and I was about to reach out for them when a beast of a man grabbed me. I looked up at the giant and my initial thought for a minute was “Why is he good looking?How can he be so tall and…have muscle in all the right places, again the greek gods themselves would be jealous”, That hiss sound was heard again and the giant let go of me. I looked around the throne room for where that hiss came from but everyone seemed to stand in the same place as before. Aro gave instruction to the twins who I remember my brother told me about, Alec and Jane, to take me to Caius private chambers. At the mention of that I almost wanted to make a run for it. The two led me away and I felt Caius' gaze on me the whole time as I was leaving the room.
Eventually I was left alone in the room, I had to admit it was a lovely room, it did seem fit for a king but also for a man of art. I felt strange being in his room alone, I don't even know the vampire and now I have to be with him for eternity. This is also unfair, why couldn't I at least say goodbye to my brothers kids, I might never see them or my brother again, I just got back from traveling and was set to settle down with my brothers coven for once. I only got 5 years with them. Maybe it's my fault for always wanting to explore and be on my own but life was cut short for me and I never got that chance when I was human.
Mine and Carlisle’s father forbade me to go out without my brother by me, I couldn't even go down the street to get a loaf of bread for dinner alone. Not that I don't love spending time with my
brother, but I always had that curiosity to go be alone and explore the world. Until that fateful day of my ‘death’, it happened after Carlisle was pronounced ‘dead’, and from that father was more strict than ever, I never got a chance to get a breath of fresh air, day and night at home; cleaning, cooking, reading, sewing, and etc. It got repetitive very quickly, so I decided one night to run away. That night I knew my father was away on another vampire hunt, so I knew I would be alone. I packed a small bag and went out by the back door. So far my journey was good, I decided to head off to York, I read books about this town and the gothic architecture was a must see. 
I had a good 10 miles away from my home, when it happened, I was walking along this path in the woods when two random men came out of the blue and took advantage of me. They left me there barely breathing and in my growing cold blood. I was minutes away from dying when a familiar face came into my hazyview, I knew who it was and before I could even say his name everything went black. It was not until days later I woke up in a small clearing and Carlisle came into view and explained everything to me. I was glad to see my twin alive but at the same time I was not thrilled with the idea that I had to drink human blood. Me and Carlisle with time discovered the concept of drinking animal blood and that helped. Soon after we were accustomed to the life of vampires we parted ways. I wanted to travel but he wanted to spend time in Italy. 
At this moment  I wished I stayed with my brother this whole time but then that meant I would have met my mate sooner and would have not met my brother’s coven. My mate…I was always curious to find out who they would be, I could see how my brother and Esme looked at each other, or how my brother’s children looked at their significant other, even Edward for once looked happy. I never knew I would even find them, I spent a lot of time alone and didn't really think about settling down or even finding my mate in this lifetime. I thought for sure I was destined for solitude, but it appears I was destined to be with the ruthless Volturi King. 
Speaking about him I didn't even notice he came into the room and was seated in one of his Victorian burgundy styled sofas. I blinked a couple of times to make sure I was not seeing things but he spoke up 
“You should really learn to be aware of your surroundings, I even gave you a kiss on the forehead and you didn't even notice or flinched”
My eyebrows furrowed in confusion and I saw he had a slight smirk on his face, he was teasing me. I didn't even know whether to be surprised or pissed at this, in different circumstances I would have joked back. In a blink of an eye he was in front of me, towering over me, I would have looked up at him but I wanted to stand my ground. I felt him lift my chin up and I faced his bright ruby red eyes that seemed so enchanting. 
I tried to avoid eye contact but his eyes were like a lure, once you got a glimpse there was no way to look away. He started to lean in until he was inches away from my lips, “keep it together y/n, keep it together y/n”. But then Blondie whispered “Con tempo” and he was gone. I was relieved but at the same time I had a hint of intrigued.
Flashback….
Year 1700 – From the stories I have heard from the townspeople and from our father, they made the vampire life seem so horrible, that a vampire is only seen as a monster. But I have never felt such a peace like state, from being controlled, to losing my brother, to my ‘death’, I finally have forever to be free with my brother. And as of right now me and him are laying in an open field in the outskirts of Italy, gazing at the stars as we have been doing the past 30 years already. 
“They had it all wrong, did they not, lyle?”
“I can not say I disagree but you have a point, I would've never pictured our life to turn like this”
Life really has never been better than this moment. I appreciated the times me and Carlisle would spend at night talking about the latest book we read or how we want to further our education in medicine and the arts. I want to travel more but it seems he has other plans. I can sense it.
“Just say it, I know there is something”
In the corner of my eye I saw that he took an unnecessary breath. I knew what he was about to say would hurt me, he always did that when he had to break bad news to me, even when we were little, he always acted like the big brother.
“I was confronted by a coven of Vampires, they call themselves the Volturi, they been around for millennials, they favor the arts and science, and they have more knowledge than any human could ever dream of knowing and they have an impressive collection of books on everything, they offered us a spot into their coven, I said I would talk it out with you first”
I knew he made his decision, I knew this is something he has always wanted to do, he wanted to know more about the background knowledge of Vampires and more on old medicine and arts. Even that intrigued me but that would mean I would have to settle down and live out my life in some coven and stay in one place for eternity.
“Carlisle…you know I would never want to stop you from your education, I was the one who persuaded you to have an interest in the medical field, so I'm not going to be one to hold you back, I would rather die than to stop you from this.”
“I figured you would not want to join, I thought that maybe I would be able to convince you. I don't like being separated from you, your everything I have left of family”
I looked at him with a saddened look
“I know Lyle, but you know I don't like to be contained in one place forever, I need to be out and about, exploring and having the life I never got the chance to have”
He sits up looking out in the open field, I know he really wants me to join him, and I want to but there's still so much to explore still. Sitting up also I extend a hand toward him and a Lily flower bloomed within my hand, he looks at it with awe 
“A Lily Flower? Mothers favorite…”
I gave him a small smile “It took me a while to learn how to create it, still not used to having this ability but I only managed to create a Tulip, next time I see you I will show you a whole garden of flowers”
End of Flashback.
We had that conversation over 300 years ago already. Even when we finally did reunite and I lived with him and his coven, I didnt show him what I was working on with the time I was away from him. I am actually outside in the Volturi gardens creating a whole new garden with fresh new flowers that are both rare and exotic but also some common ones. I think what fascinated Aro about my ability is that I can create poisonous flowers that can knock out even the strongest of vampires out cold (I accidentally knocked him out the first month I was here for 5 days straight). And that was already 5 months ago since that “accident”, from that Aro just let me be in the garden alone and doesn't dare interrupt me unless I request his audience. 
With my short time here, I actually became close to Marcus. Even though it took a while to get him to talk to me, I  caught him in the gardens one day and I saw he was overlooking a dying yellow lily. I instantly healed it, he turned to me slowly with a very small but very pleased look, he mentioned later that it was his late wife's favorite flower. He reminded me of Carlisle, we tend to talk a lot about plants and philosophy, we even had small arguments on certain philosophies. With Aro from the accident I'm still wary about him, he creeps me out sometimes and when he does that one laugh I don't know whether to hold in a laugh or wonder how such a laugh can come out of him. With the elite guards, we are slowly building trust with each other. Just the other day I managed to make Felix and Demetri laugh when I accidentally made an “erotic" looking plant. They reminded me of Emmett and Jasper. As with Jane and Alec, they are still wary of me, but I can see they are starting to warm up to me.
And how can I forget Caius? Having him as a mate has been interesting. I don't see him as often but when I do, he does a tactic of a quick and go. I could be doing something as reading a book in the King's private library when he appears and leaves a longing of his aura and then vanishes. It frustrates me so I decided to just ignore him. 
Caius POV:
As soon as Jane came in with our “guest”, I felt a strange pull and was overcomed by the strong smell of roses. It was an addicting smell, I must know who it's coming from. I notice the human and internally I'm thinking “all this dramatic antics for this human? This Cullen boy was all set to end his immortal life because of her?” even I'm not that dramatic. I scanned the rest of the entourage and one of them reassembled as a human sized fairy, she’s almost the polar opposite of Jane. I didn't pay much attention to her for it being one of them caught me completely off guard. My mate… she's breathtaking, just from her looks I can tell she has an eye for art like me. Sadly her eyes are gold like the rest of the Cullen coven but that can easily be changed with time. It was not until Aro said she is Carlisle's twin sister that I lost it internally.
Why is life so unfair? Millenniums of existing and waiting for my mate to come along to find out she's the sister to the one person I absolutely despise . Out of everyone why a Cullen? The minute that “Vegetarian Doctor” left my respect for him vanished. But why is she avoiding eye contact with me? What has that Carlisle said about me? Great, I barely find out she's my mate and she hates me. Why would she hate me? I like to think I'm straightforward and speak my mind without hesitation, what is there not to like about me? I'm also quite dashing myself if I must say, I take a great deal of myself and I at least don't have that weird laugh Aro has.
As if on cue I heard Aro do that said strange laugh and I was snapped out of my thoughts to see Aro was holding her hand to read her thoughts, without a thought I hissed in displeasure. She's my mate, nobody can touch her but I. Have I always been possessive? Didn't think of myself as the possessive type, I'm just being reasonable. I must know what Aro has seen from her, I want to know everything there is to know about her, everything she has seen and done. Hopefully she has not been with another man or even a woman, I'm not judgemental, but it seems I also have a jealous side. What is wrong with me today? I am suddenly having all of these out of character personality, I blame her. 
When she offered a deal, my anger took over and I said no deal, even if she said she was going to stay. Of course she's going to stay, she's my mate, in no way was I going to let her walk away after I waited millenniums for her. After my little outburst on her Aro said for Felix to take her to my chambers but the way she looked at him when she was grabbed by him made my eye twitch involuntary, I did that hiss sound and Felix immediately let go. 
When the throne room was set for clear I had to go see her up close. When I arrived at my private chambers I noticed she was in a trance like state, as if reliving a past memory. Wanting to respect her I waited it out. She did after a while and that is when I striked first, with my speed I was in front of her gazing down on her, she's more beautiful up close. I think I might like the color amber now, the way her eyes are so full of light and warmth is so wonderful to witness. I leaned in thinking I might kiss her but I decided to tease her. I want her to be the one to break first even if I'm already secretly hopelessly falling for her.
Y/n POV
It has been a very confusing couple of weeks. I think I'm conflicted with whether I should keep ignoring Caius by not being flirty in return like he has been with me or should I just reciprocate the same behavior toward him. Trust me I do want to get out of this weird faze we are dealing with but the way that man is so bipolar sometimes is astonishing to witness. Our latest incident resulted in Felix and Demetri carrying me out of the library while Aro and Marcus consulted with Caius. The funny thing is Caius walked in all suave and flirty.
“You know I always find it difficult to look at you without falling in love with you”
Not wanting to give him a satisfaction that his words made me feel a certain way, I brushed him off
“So don't look at me, it's that simple”
“That simple? Have you no idea that when I look at you, all of the beautiful work you do in the gardens is put to shame with your beauty, how your voice is sweeter than the richest of blood, or how your eyes have conquered me?” he scoffs “As if that's simple amore”
I shut my book and set it on the table already getting sick and tired of his little suppose clever tactic to get me to confess my undying love to him
“You know you walk in here all suave and seductive or whatever you call this, and then you leave before I can say anything, in the 4 months I have been here, not once have you sat down with me and had a full on conversation with me”
“Well i'm a king, im busy, I have matters to take care of, things you would not know how to deal with”
Now it was my turn to scoff at him
“Busy? With what? I have talked with Marcus and he says you mostly are in the throne room looking at old text that I bet you have read at least a thousand times so far, your just avoiding me because i'm a Cullen, I am well aware you despise my brother and his coven”
That for sure shut him up but unfortunately what I said fuelled his anger.
“How dare you speak to me like that! Conspiring behind my back with my own brother! I have done nothing but be patient with you and been a great mate to you!?”
How can he say such a thing about being a great mate when there are times I don't see him for days and when he does appear it's only for a couple of minutes.
“You are unbelievable, you being a great mate to me? How can you say that when one) I don't even see you that often. two) you haven't even bothered to talk about actual things instead you seduce me and three) you just assume every time you flirt with me that I like it or I will return the favor. Well news flash I don't like it, maybe my brother was right about you”
Using his vampire speed he was up in my face in an instant glaring down on me, I might not be able to read his thoughts but just with his eyes you can see how pissed he is.
“Your brother!! Are you also conspiring with him about me behind my back! Some mate you are to me. I have been patient with you, I have been all sweet talk with you. How am I supposed to know what you like and don't like if you never speak up, I was starting to think you are mute”
I could now feel my own anger rising at his words
“Well maybe if you actually took time in your supposed busy day to sit down and talk to me I would start to open up to you and be more affectionate with you but I never say anything because you always vanish in a blink of an eye. Your so childish for doing that, hiding from someone who is a whole foot shorter than you, pathetic”
In all of my decades of existing as a Vampire, I have never been caught off guard until now. I was in a literal chokehold as I was kissed deeply by Caius. WAIT he's kissing me? H-how did this even happen? I was absolutely horrified by the turn of events. My reflexes finally kicked in I pushed him away roughly from me and I took several steps away from him. How dare he kiss me like that without my permission? Who the fuck does he think he is to even do such an action on me? To add to that, the freaking blonde had a small smirk but his eyes held a bit of pain and shock. I haven't the slightest idea of what to do next, I won't lie and say I didn't enjoy the kiss but I didn't want our first kiss to be like this. 
We just stood in silence, I wanted to say something but I don't know what exactly, I must have been too deep in thought because when I looked up he was gone. 
A/N: Ooooo cliffhanger, I had to do it, part two will come out at some point (to be honest I have not started to work on it yet but I have a basic idea of how it will end).
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sardonic-the-writer · 6 months
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𝐁𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐡 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞
↳ warnings: none
↳ notes: forgot how good this movie series was. going to be thinking about it quite a bit these few coming days. especially egon! favorite character by far, with winston in next place
↳ song: main title theme (ghostbusters)—elmer bernstein
masterlist | commisions | carrd
• When a flyer for a job downtown mysteriously appeared in your mailbox slot, your first thought was to throw it away
• It looked scrappy. Par on course with the rest of the junk mail companies normally delt out to catch your eye
• Still. Three days later you were standing outside a mildly reevaluated looking firehouse with the paper clutched loosely in your hand, and your best clothes on
• As you’d walked towards the doors, a man came up from behind you, uttering an apology as he nearly bumped into you
• “Hey,” He had paused, allowing you to catch a glance of his tan suit and kinky black hair. “You here for an interview, too?” He asked, walking through the large off-green door as you held it open for him
• “Sure am.”
• “Well, may the best one win. Or get the job, I suppose.” He chuckled with a lopsided grin
• "I dont think they’ll mind hiring the both of us." You eventually responded, looking up at the way the ceiling sagged with old age
• Following your line of sight, the man beside you nodded deeply, and the both of you made your way up to a reception desk with a very annoyed looking lady behind it
• That was the day both you, and who you later learned to be Winston, got the job as the newest pair of Ghostbusters
• “Meet back here tomorrow at noon.” The snappy lady with glasses had said monotonly as she thrust a set of papers at you. You were still looking in the direction that two yelping men in jumpsuits had just gone holding a machine, that it took you a second to notice
• “With the way this job is looking? No way I’m missing tomorrow.”
• Meeting your employers slash coworkers for the first time— technically second if you counted the way two of them crashed your interview mid hiring —was certainly an experience
• Only one had been prepared for both you and Winston’s first days with a handshake and slightly unbuttoned lab coat
• He had introduced himself as doctor Egon Spengler, and shook your hand with a certain rigidness to it. Still, you caught him looking at the both of you with curiosity, so you tossed him an easy upward twitch of you lips. He seemed to relax a little after that
• The other two, however, had proved to be more difficult upon meeting
• Ray Stanz and Peter Venkman were certainly a pair, with the latter sure to be the cause of later headaches, but seemed friendly anyways—if the way they slapped you on the back said anything
• “Welcome to the nerd squad.” Peter has smiled teasingly at you, immediately wrapping an arm around your shoulders and bringing you close as if he was about to tell you a secret. “Stick with me, and you’ll be kicking it with the cool kids!”
• “Is he always like this?” You asked while pushing him away
• “Regrettably.” Egon responded in a flat tone as he moved back to statistics on a chart. “Try being roommates with him in college for six years.”
• “No thanks. I think I’d rather get possessed by one of those ghosts you guys hunt.”
• “Hey, still here!”
• You fell right into place with them pretty quickly after that. Something about getting slimed by a poltergeist in Central Park really brings a group of people together. Especially if they happen to get a really good meal of Thai right after
• In the days weeks and months following your hiring, you get to learn a lot about the little team you’d been squished into
• Winston was probably the first one you befriended. Maybe because the both of you had showed up around the same time, but you found him one of the easiest to just sit down and talk to after a mission without being interrupted every two sentences. The other guys were great, but he seemed to appreciate a little peace and quiet more than what you got in the headquarters
• “Seriously— do we have to call it the headquarters?” You interrupted Peter in the middle of his rant. Sipping on a cup of coffee, you took a moment before speaking more. It really was too early for this. “I mean, come on. It makes us sound like bizzaro superhero’s. More than we already do, anyway.”
• “Personally I wouldn’t mind playing a little Bruce Wayne every now and then.” Peter grinned back suggestively. From beside you, Ego let out his equivalent of an annoyed sigh as he tinkered with stray machinery. Apparently someone else felt it was too early for Peters antics, too
• “Gag me with a spoon.” You deadpanned while swirling your mug around moodily
• “Fine fine. We can call it home base. Happy, sunshine?”
• You grumbled at his sickeningly sweet tone before delving back into your coffee, missing the way Ray and Winston shared slight smiles at the exchange
• “Now that you four are done, mind helping me with our actual jobs?”
• “Oops. Yeah. Sorry Egon.”
• “Sigh.”
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ninjaturtlemaniac · 1 month
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Part 10 Trolls Headcanons/ Theories/ Thoughts/ Ideas
This may be my last headcanons list, my friends. Will still do art and stuff but I am fresh outta ideas.
Part1 Part2 Part3 Part4 Part5 Part6 Part7 Part8 Part9
Enjoy 💕
Sub Tribes - KPop/Reggaeton/Yodelers/Chaz etc. there's not many of them around because they came from overseas.
King Peppy - Didn't tell Poppy about Viva because he was in the early stages of dementia. (Canon?) For a while he thought Poppy WAS Viva. By the time he realised his 'mistake', Poppy was already grown.
Vacay Island - the brothers sometimes help Bruce at his restaurant. They have name tags with funny 'work names'. Flood, Big Fish, Classy, and Big Brunch. Viva and Poppy have done the odd shift as well, as Pinky and Vista. 😝
Brozone - they became world famous, argued and left BEFORE the cage went around the Pop Troll Tree. (Canon?)
Brozone - there was a rumoured 'unfinished' Brozone song that was supposed to be released after that tour. John finally finishes it and the brothers offer to sing it for Poppy's bridal entrance song. Poppy immediately faints. In my head the song is 'Helpless When She Smiles' by The Backstreet Boys
Brozone - whatever the Trolls equivalent of the Superbowl is, I feel like Bruce and JD would be very into it. Jerseys and face paint and everything.
Bruce - cameras make him self-conscious. If he is in a group he can tolerate it but hates being the only one in the photo.
Bruce - has caught his kids trying to do the Brozone dance routines. He tries to stay out of it best he can and let them have their fun but then they ask him to teach them and doesn't he just melt.
Bruce - has a wedding ring but it is Vacationer sized. He keeps it in his hair mostly but will braid it into his hair like an accessory for special occasions.
Bruce - 100% certain Poppy and Branch's first born would be a boy. "We're a family of five brothers! It took Brandy and I thirteen tries to have a daughter. Trust me, I have no doubt your first egg will absolutely be a boy." *They have a girl* Bruce 😑
Floyd - can only sleep comfortably near an open window. Sometimes can only sleep sitting up.
Floyd - will randomly stare off into space or mutter to himself.
Floyd - *clears throat* I ship Floom! 💕🏳️‍🌈
Floyd - can't stick to new hobbies for very long, he hyperfixates for a week or two then gets bored. Macrame, candle making, soap making, jewelry making, photography are some examples.
Clay - his brothers collectively tried to convince him that he was the adopted brother.
Clay - is quite squeamish. The sight of vomit, open wounds and bodily fluids; Clay will absolutely pass out. Snotty babies make him very uncomfortable.
Clay - gets Viva to braid his hair out of his face only when something really serious is happening *cracks neck* "Viva?" "Yah?" "Braid me" "Yes, Sir." Shwoooop
Clay - Found out the Classical Trolls have a library larger the Pop Village. "Viva, they have a whole wing dedicated to tragedies! Tragedies, Viva!"
Clay - okay, so he and Viva have never been a couple, even if he ever considered it, their work came first and he didn't want to jeopardize what they had. Buuuuuuuttt the thought that another Troll could one day be Viva's person, that she would go to them instead of him for comfort or ideas or laughs or safety or hugs... it makes Clay feel... weird.
Clay - at some point is named some kinda Troll magazines most eligible bachelor. Bro was in a boyband, co-runs a society of survivors, runs a business, is close friends with royalty, has been knighted, has a license to practice accounting and was part of the only known Perfect Family Harmony. He's apparently a hot commodity now.
John Dory - takes night classes to finally get his highschool diploma. Is too embarrassed to tell anyone until he graduates.
John Dory - doesn't get sick often. But when he does, he keeps going to the point of exhaustion.
John Dory - has indeed crossed paths with Delta Dawn before. Both of them have very different versions of the story. "I serenaded her." "The fool was whining something from the inside of a jail cell."
John Dory - has been known to sleep with his eyes open. Freaks people out.
John Dory - will drink milk straight from the carton and put it back in the fridge.
John Dory - teaches Bruce's kids all the swear words and does in fact tell them his rendition of where eggs come from.
Viva - tries to hide sadder feelings from Poppy. Worried that Poppy won't want to hang out with her if she isn't fun.
Poppy - sometimes feels guilty, if things had been different, Viva would have been Queen. Viva tries to reassure Poppy that she is "The right Troll for the role." 👍🏻 Also Viva tries to argue that they both technically get be Queens now anyway.
Guy Diamond - Trolls have eggs when they have powerful feelings of love. Guy Diamond was able to have Tiny because he loves himself so much.
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wonijinjin · 8 months
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figure you out
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author’s note: the request can be found here
synopsis: the members of seventeen think you look rather scary while dino says otherwise, but who is right?
word count: 1.6k | genre: fluff, a bit of angst, hurt/comfort | pairing: idol! dino x gn! idol! reader | warnings: reader has low self esteem in some parts
you have always been told that you look intimidating, but until the point of getting to know seventeen you never really believed it. you were the leader of the newly debuted group of HYBE, and with that title came many responsibilities; you had never imagined this to be as hard as it was, always keeping everything you had to do as a leader in mind is a tough job for sure, so you being stressed was an understatement.
chan first saw you at the HYBE building, walking to (he supposed was) practice, a frown evident on your face the whole time, only forming into a shy smile when you greeted him with a bow. first he thought you were kind of scary, he never saw you really smile, a somewhat sad and tired look always being prominent on your face. it was rare to see you show many emotions during times he got the chance to see you, but when you did he felt he was hit by cupid; your laugh (which he sadly couldn’t hear often) would always light up the hallway, and he always caught himself smiling when he heard it.
of course it is not a surprise that soon enough the other members of seventeen caught up to his lovesick look when he saw you even for a moment. “chan, are you kidding me? you have a crush on y/n? but how? like no offense or anything, but y/n always gives everyone this angry look and never talks to anyone, it is kinda scary to be honest.” dk asked him when they decided to take a break during dance practice. “and y/n also has a laugh that is so beautiful, i am not threatened by a frown, i want to hear that laugh again, i want to hear it again because i made y/n laugh.” he said while having that warm look on his face again, even just the thought of you made him excited and happy. “also, you are quite rude to be judging a person by their appearance, you know?” chan answered while raising his brows in disagreement. “okay i’m just saying! you really are interested in y/n, huh? i have never seen you defend someone this quickly, well except for our members of course.” dk sighed.
a week after this conversation the members decided to take matters into their own hands; they needed to figure out what kind of person you were, after all it was about their dear youngest member’s emotions, which they wanted to protect at all costs.
the duo of mingyu and scoups took on the responsibility of stalking you after schedules, which you of course didn’t know about. you often stayed behind after schedules so they followed you to the practice room, and peeked in, watching you get to work with your debut song’s choreo, while preparing for your first comeback’s dances aswell. they watched as you fell, trying to learn one of the difficult moves over and over again, with not much success. ten minutes later there you were, on the floor, panting, silently sobbing. “how am i in this group in the first place? why can’t i learn faster? the others depend on me, i need to get this right to help them!” you mumbled to yourself, trying to collect some motivation to continue.
“poor little thing.” scoups said, knowing how difficult it is for a leader to always be on top of the situation. “i remember how hard we had to work even in our rookie days, this brings back memories.” mingyu added. meanwhile you stood up and collected your belongings, ready to leave the room. “oh wait y/n has already finished, let’s go.” mingyu whispered, dragging scoups with him so you wouldn’t see them.
next time the members of seventeen got to see a bit more of you was at lunchtime in the cafeteria of HYBE, where you sat alone, laptop next to you. you were interacting with your fans on Weverse, which they learned was a frequent activity of yours; you wanted to communicate with them as much as you could, so even during lunch you couldn’t miss commenting on posts and telling the fans to always eat and sleep well in cute little videos. after being done with your SNS duties, you continued work with writing lyrics for your already half-finished solo song which you hoped would be included on an album one day, also practicing for helping in future productions for your group.
“woah, y/n is still working even at lunch?” joshua pointed in your direction from the other side, dk whom he was with snapping his head where you sat. “where are the other group members though?” dk questioned, confused. “i just saw them leave as they were done for the day.” joshua replied. “so they really left y/n here alone? man, that is kind of sad.” you finished your lunch and got up, leaving quickly. joshua and dk were curious about where you headed as anyone who was done with their day at work would’ve definitely gone home. well, not you, you went to practice your vocals a bit in the vocal room, they could clearly hear your voice from the halllway. “damn, y/n has a great voice.” joshua said, dk agreeing. “and i didn’t know they had a song like this!” dk raised his brows, further listening to the lyrics. “because they don’t! i think y/n may have written this! so this must be what all that work earlier was about!” joshua figured. it has to be said; they were pretty impressed by your passion and hard work, so much so that they were starting to feel guilty about questioning why chan had a crush on you.
“honestly, y/n is a pretty cool person, next time we shouldn’t judge only depending on a first impression.” scoups said when the members were together at a restaurant, at their monthly dinner meeting. “see? i told you, and i bet y/n is so much more kindhearted, we just haven’t seen enough yet.” chan replied, finally satisfied with his members liking you. to their surprise you entered the room with a mop in your hand, apron on your waist. when you saw them your face went pale for a moment, not knowing how to act with your seniors all at a table on the opposite side. seungkwan was the first to talk to you, saying hi and questioning why you were there dressed like a worker of the place. “well, actually this restaurant is my grandparents’ and on days i have time i always come by to help them, especially with cleaning so they don’t have to do it after closing.” you replied with a small smile. “seriously? this is so considerate of you, on top of everything you still help them, you are so sweet!” chan said as the others were too stunned to speak; never in their lives did they imagine you to be this responsible and humble. “well, i am trying my best to be helpful.” you chuckled, which made chan’s heart jump.
after finishing their meal the members were getting ready to leave when chan spoke up. “i will stay a bit more, seeing if i can help y/n with anything here.” this earned a knowing look from his members, patting him on the back as they left. you came outside only to find him standing in front of you. “do you need help with anything? i thought i might ask you know, it must be hard to handle this all by yourself.” he grinned, to which you replied with a giggle. “thank you, but i don’t need any help. don’t you have somethingto say to me though? perhaps another reason why you stayed behind?” you grinned, waiting for him to realise that you knew; you saw how he looked at you many times when you two ran into each other at the company building. “was i that obvious? this is kind of embarrassing then, as you already know that i want to confess to you.” he blushed. “i was wondering why you never came up to me to be honest.” he looked away. “well, you always looked like you didn’t want anybody to speak to you, or like you could fall asleep every minute, so it wasn’t quite easy to approach you.” he said in a lower tone. “am i really that scary to people around me? for real?” your jaw was on the floor, not believing that the things people say about you always looking kind of unfriendly was true. “yeah…the members thought you seemed too cold-looking fir a period of time…” chan admitted, not daring to look into your eyes. “but
that has changed of course, they really admire you, just like i do.” he quickly added. “i am so sorry, i just look like that, i have many things to do so i don’t get much sleep and i am always lost in thought, so that must explain the frown.” you looked down, feeling bad that the members didn’t like you, even to the point of needing to be convinced somehow. he moved closer to you. “i don’t mind it. i like you the way you are y/n. i think i have been having a crush on you since the first moment i saw you, frown or not, i like really like you, and i want to get to know you better in the future.” he whispered, his eyes looking at your lips. “well i like you too, but are you gonna kiss me already or am i still that scary then?” you mumbled. he didn’t need anything else to give him a green light, kissing you quickly. after pulling apart he laughed. “then would you be mine?” he asked. “i am already yours, chan.”
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natti-ice · 2 months
Text
The Blind Date- Sirius Black.
Pairing: Sirius Black x fem!reader
Summary: Hogwarts annual valentines party has a twist. A test that pairs you with the best match
Warnings: written in third person (she/her pronouns) (1.6k words)
Author’s note: this is a reupload, I wrote this a while ago!
Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated<3
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Valentine's day.
The one day of the year card and candy companies thrive. Couples around every corner, corny love songs on the radio. The perfect day to make all single people feel bad.
This year at Hogwarts they have decided to do a cupid event. Sixth and seventh years who are interested, take a test to see which student they are most compatible with. Each pair can attend the valentine's party together the following week. Most students were excited to be paired with someone, and then there was Y/N,
"Come on Y/N it'll be fun." Lily Evans said dragging her friend into the great hall
"No no, it won't" Y/N protested
"And why is that?" the redhead questioned
"Going on a blind date isn't really my style"
"Lighten up Y/N, who knows maybe you'll meet the one" James Potter chimed in as he sat down wrapping his arm around his Girlfriend Lily
"Right, maybe you won't be so lonely. Honestly, it's getting depressing." Sirius Black said strolling alongside his best friend James.
"Shut up Black, Why are you two here anyway?" Y/N asked the boys
"I came to see my Lily flower" James gushed causing Sirius and Y/N to make faces. Earlier this year James and Lily became an official couple, Ever since they've been inseparable.
"Ew. I'm here because I don't have a date this year, couldn't pick one" Sirius said shrugging
"How humble of you" Y/N said sarcasm in her voice
"Attention please students," Dumbledore announced to the great hall. Heads turned to face him faces full of wonder. "As most of you are aware, we will be hosting a Valentine's party this 14th. For all the sixth and seventh years who are interested in being paired with a date, please see Professor Flitwick for a compatibility test"
"I think it's a great opportunity to put yourself out there Y/N" Lily said wanting to get her friend out of her comfort zone.
"Fine okay I'll do it" Y/N agreed in hopes to get Lily off her back about it. She hesitantly stood up, walking over to the growing line.
She hoped that she didn't get some creep who only tries to get in her pants. Please not Gilderoy Lockhart she thought. Patiently waiting to get the test, glancing around to see all who were in line. Turning around she comes face to face with Sirius Black.
"So who do you want to get?" Sirius asks her
"anyone, I don't care" she lied
"What if you get me?" he smirked
"okay anyone BUT you" she grinned at him
"Ouch, I'll have you know I am the best date anyone could have." he said pretending to be offended
"Oh yeah I bet" she said rolling her eyes. It was her turning in line, thanking the professor as he handed her the paper. Taking it back to her table to fill out the form, pulling out a quill. Filling in the basic information, name, grade, house.
Okay, first question "what's your favorite color?" she read in her head. Easy, Y/F/C. This won't take long, she thought.
She was right, it took her about 5 minutes to fill it out. Walking back up to the table to turn in her paper.
- February 13th
The day before Valentine's Day, the results of the test come out.
Nervously a group of kids walks up to the bulletin board to see who they've been paired with. Most were happy about their partner, others were nervous, some were just confused.
Y/N saw the crowd and knew the list must've been posted. She worked her way through the swarm of people to find her name, scanning it carefully.
Y/N L/N ..... Sirius Black
You have got to be kidding me, she mentally groaned. Of all people, it had to be him. Maybe she could get it changed before he found out. Moving through the sea of people once again.
"Well, it looks like we matched after all" Sirius said leaning up against the wall with his signature smirk.
"You seem awfully happy about this" Y/N said with a questioning eye.
"I just think it's kind of funny" he replied with his hands up in defense. "You seemed so confident we wouldn't be paired" Sirius said wrapping his arm around her shoulder.
"Did you copy my answers or something?" She lightly knocked off his arm.
"Of course not, I never cheat on test" he said defensively
"Really?" She furrowed her eyebrows
"Okay okay maybe once or twice but not on this, I swear" He crossed his heart "don't act like this is the worst thing that ever happened to you"
"It kind of is" she said playfully
"Oh please, do you know how many girls would kill to be you" he matched her tone
"They can have you"
"But in all seriousness, do you want to go to the party with me?" Sirius asked slightly hoping she'd yes
"Well" she sighed "I did promise Lily I would go with a date so, I'll go with you." She agreed
"Fantastic! I promise I'll make it worth your while" he grinned from ear to ear sending her a wink.
"I'll see you tomorrow then" Y/N says walking off
"It's a date!" Sirius yells into the hallway knowing he'd embarrass her
- "Are you excited about tonight Y/N?" Lily asked Y/N walking out of their last class of the day
"Terribly" she replied with a straight face.
"I'm sure you'll have a great time, but you know what this means right?" The redhead said with a mischievous smile
"What?"
"Make over time!" She was ecstatic
"Yay" she faked excitement. But honestly, a makeover didn't seem THAT bad
- As the night approached, the tension in the air rose. Everyone was nervous about this big group date the school has decided to have. What if it's totally lame and they're stuck with awkward conversation for hours?
"Okay, I'm ready to see myself now" Y/N said impatiently, antsy from sitting in a chair for so long
"Alright alright, open your eyes" Lily told her friend
Opening her eyes allowing them to adjust, glancing at herself in the mirror. Lily had only done light makeup that enhanced her already beautiful face. "Wow. I look quite pretty." Y/N said admiring Lily's work
"You always look pretty Y/N" Lily spoke genuinely "Now, go get dressed the boys will be here any minute"
Doing as told,  putting on an outfit she thought was "fancy" enough for the occasion. It was a school function so, not fancy at all.
A rapping on the door in an unrhythmic beat told the girls one thing. James is here.
Lily opens up the door and is greeted by 2 slightly spiffed young men. "Greetings miss Evans, are you prepared for our gala this evening?" James said in a posh accent. Taking her hand and kissing the back of it gently, causing Lily to blush
"Gross" Sirius commented "Is Y/N here?"
"Yeah she's just getting dressed"
"Hi boys" Y/N said walking out of the bathroom. Lily and James head out first leaving Sirius and Y/N alone.
"I must say, you look very beautiful tonight." Sirius told the girl
"Thank you, Mr. Black" she said mocking his friend
" Are you ready madam?" He offered her his arm
"Certainly" accepting his gesture
- As one could expect, school parties are lame. Sappy songs couples awkwardly slow dance to. That one teacher who thinks they're one of the kids. And of course the infamous punch bowl.
"I knew it would be bad but not this bad" Sirius cringed
"Most of the paired couples didn't even show up." Y/N stated
"Do you want to get out of here?" Sirius suggested
"Gladly"
Walking out of the hall, they figured out why some of the couples didn't show up. They were in the halls, snogging.
"Looks like Hogwarts is a great matchmaker after all" Y/N stated not sure to believe it or not.
"Yeah I guess you could say that" The boy replied
Wondering the halls, discussing the uncomfortable things that were seen at that said "party". Eventually, the two make their way into the Gryffindor common room. A few younger students were scattered around probably catching up on homework, sitting on the couch not knowing what to do. Sirius came up with an idea.
"How about a game of wizards chess?" He asked
"Sure, let's play" she agreed
"Good, if I win... I get to kiss you" Sirius said calmly
"You're crazy" Y/N said dismissing the entire idea
"C'mon, afraid you'll lose?" He challenged
"Alright Black you're on. If I win you have to run around the halls in a ballerina outfit, deal?"
"Deal."
- A tough neck and neck game of chess with great concentration and skill led to one's defeat. As Y/N's pawn captures Sirius' king, victory overcame her.
"Checkmate Black, time to get your tutu"
Accepting his defeat and holding his deal of the bargain, he ran around the school acting like a ballerina. He actually kind of liked it, but you didn't hear that from me.
Y/N's stomach hurt from laughing so much. She was glad he didn't get upset with the deal, he was so lighthearted and good-natured. It was hard not to like him.
After Sirius retired his ballet flats, it was already late. This "date" had come to an end, Y/N felt a little sad but didn't know why.
"I should probably go to bed, but I had fun tonight, really" Y/N smiled
"I'm glad you did, I thoroughly enjoyed your company" he brought back the fake posh accent. "Goodnight m'lady" he bowed
"Goodnight good sir" she curtsied.
"I still can't believe you beat me at chess, who knew you were so good" Sirius laughed
"We all have our secrets" she shrugged. Standing on her tippy toes giving him a small peck on the cheek. "Goodnight Sirius"
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Tags: @thebiggestnaturaldisaster @madwcman @timbradfordisbae @de-duchess
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anothermansjeans · 2 years
Text
karma
pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader (she/her pronouns)
warnings: none!
word count: 946
a/n: it’s been 84 years… but ANYWAY… miss taylor swift has infiltrated my mind once again and i just had to a fic inspired by karma because it’s one of my favorite songs on midnights! im sorry if it’s a little rushed (its currently 1:16 a.m when i write this but i am also excited about it)! i also apologize for any mistakes!
inspiration: karma by taylor swift
masterlist
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Aaron Hotchner has been through a lot. Between being stabbed, hearing his ex-wife being murdered, being blown up, and having to go into witness protection with his kid, you would think he would be a cynical man, but recently that’s changed. He now believes in karma.
It was a year after leaving witness protection when he had his first dose of good karma. He took Jack to a bakery after school and the woman behind the counter offered them each a free cookie since it was the “bakery’s birthday”. It was trivial, he knows, but the way the woman’s eyes lit up when both him and Jack praised the treat made him feel good. It was a feeling that was always fleeting in the past, but this feeling seemed to stay.
It stayed because the next week when he took Jack to the same bakery, the same woman was standing at the counter and had an even brighter smile when she saw them. This time, the visit went a little differently. After he and Jack had gotten their baked goods for the day and started to head out, he stopped at the sound of her voice calling out to him.
“Sir, you left your card!”
He didn’t have time to walk back up to the counter, because she was making her way up to him, and the moment her hand slightly touched his, he swore his body was shocked with one of the most intense feelings.
And he knew she felt it too, her eyes said it all.
“Um… h-have a nice day…?” She trailed off, not knowing his name.
“Aaron”, he responded, giving her a nod. “You too…”
She stared into his eyes for a moment longer before leaving her trance due to the sound of the be above the door ringing. “Y/N.”
“Y/N… have a nice day Y/N.”
That was his second dose of good karma.
The third time karma was in his favor happened a lot sooner than anyone would ever expect. He was alone the next time he went into the bakery— Jack having an after school activity— and when he saw Y/N at the counter she looked more nervous than happy to see him.
“Hi!” Her voice was pitchy, and she fiddled with her fingers as he got closer. “No uh… Your son— I’m assuming— isn’t with you today?”
“No, no. Jack had a school thing. I still wanted to pick something up for him, though.” And then they continued their routine— talking about the specials, picking out two to three treats, paying for it, and saying goodbye. The only difference was… Aaron stayed a minute longer.
She told him to have a nice day, he said the same, but he stood there, standing at the counter, wanting to stay in her presence just a moment longer. He didn’t know how weird it looked until after they stared each down for a good minute, proceeded by her clearing her throat.
“Is there um, anything else… that I can help you with?”
“No… no.” He tried to stay stoic, but he saw her face slightly fall, and he felt something in his stomach make the same movement.
“Okay, well you probably have someone waiting for you—”
“Actually, there is something.” He cut her off, knowing exactly what she had been implying, but he didn’t want her thinking that. “I want to take you out. On a date.”
It was impulsive, and Aaron Hotchner didn’t do impulsive. Until that moment apparently.
She looked shocked at first, but a delicate smile danced on her lips seconds later, and she grabbed a napkin, writing her number down and giving it to him. He used it almost immediately when he got home.
They had gone on several dates after that. So many that they were officially together, and the next step was to tell Jack, which coincidentally was Aaron’s fourth strike of karma.
Jack was ecstatic the moment he heard the news. He loved Y/N. She gave him baked goods whenever she went over, she always talked with him about his current hobbies, and she made his dad happy. Jack loved Y/N.
Seeing this love from him was one of the best things Aaron had witnessed in a long time. The way she would interact with him, the sparkle in Jack’s eyes when he’s told Y/N would be joining them, the overall sense of happiness that radiated from him at the mere mention of her— these were things Aaron was grateful for.
He was so grateful for them that months down the line, after a long day of family activities, he was able to settle on the couch in his home with her once Jack had gone to sleep and have nothing but adoration in his gaze down at her.
And that feeling was so strong— strong in the sense that he hadn’t known the next words coming from his lips.
“I’m in love with you.”
She was laying between his legs, back pressed up against him. Her head was tilted up at an angle, literal stars could be seen in her eyes. “Really?”
He couldn’t help but chuckle at her question. “Yes, really.”
“Good.” She shifted up a bit and kissed under his jaw, lips lingering as she spoke in a soft whisper, “because I have never been so in love with someone in my entire life.”
And right then and there, he noticed something.
Karma is a good feeling. Karma is an electric touch. Karma is getting a date. Karma is seeing his son happy. Karma is the love of his life. Y/N is his karma.
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tags: @sylvieofasgard @jhiddles03 @skyyyreads @captainamericasmotercycle @gothwifehotchner @ssamorganhotchner (i tagged people who interacted with my recent post so i apologize if you didn’t want to be tagged!!)
let me know if you would like to be tagged in future work!!
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jeridandridge · 11 months
Text
Enjoy the silence
youtube
reader and Melissa go to a Depeche Mode concert and feelings are shared.
I have song fic ideas for days. And others lol. Def not edited. I apologize for any mishaps.
When you walk into the teachers lounge on Friday morning you’re practically buzzing. Well, not as much as Janine but you don’t think that’s physically possible for you at this hour no matter what was going on.
“Dang, Y/N, you look hot!” Jacob whistles from the far table. You and Melissa were going to a concert that night and you decided to wear the tightest, blackest jeans you own since you both were going right from school to downtown.
You playfully roll your eyes and do a little twirl showing of your tight pants and loose, white button up for the day.
Barbara and Janine giggle, but the red head at the table looks at you in awe. You’d caught her many times before over the past two years looking at you that way, but you never said anything. There’s no way a woman like her could be romantically interested in someone like you.
“You okay there, Schemmenti?” You tease as you set your purse and mug down at the table you share with her and Barb.
“Yeah, I’m good, you look good, hon.” She snaps out of it. You chuckle and go on with the usual morning banter before the kids arrive, feeling warm and fuzzy whenever she calls you hon. She called you kid your first week at Abbott and after a simple ‘im thirty two thank you very much’ she switched it up.
“I wish I knew about the concert sooner, I would’ve tagged along!” Jacob chimes in. Gregory gives him a funny look.
“I don’t think they want a third wheel on their date, Jacob.”
Your head snaps over towards Gregory, but before you can say anything Melissa scoffs.
“It ain’t a date. She’s just the only cool one here that likes good music.”
That stung a little bit. You’d had feelings for Melissa practically ever since you transferred to Abbott, but recently it felt like Melissa was driving the point that she didn’t reciprocate those feelings.
Barb must see your face fall before you bring your coffee mug to your lips and stand up grabbing your bags.
“Well I gotta get ready for the rugrats. I’ll see you guys at lunch.” You give the table a tight smile and head to your classroom.
Once the other three clear out, Barb gives Melissa a sharp look causing the other woman to look up from her phone.
“Can you make it less obvious, Melissa?”
“What? I didn’t do anything.” She defends.
“Every time someone mentions you two as an item you get defensive and almost rude. That woman likes you and you like her. How long are you going to pretend it’s not there for everyone to see?”
Melissa huffs leaning back into her chair with a sigh. “Ya know I hate when you’re right.”
“I know you do. You two are going out for a fun time tonight, don’t ruin it by being foolish.” She says as she gets up and heads for the door. Melissa hangs back for a moment longer letting out a sigh.
She took to you right away when you started at the school. You were a young pup, but not young and naïve like Janine and Jacob. You had moxie and she respected you. That turned into movie nights, dinners, and drinks over the course of two years. Now, she found herself hopelessly in love but guarded still.
She takes Barb’s advice and knows what she’s going to do.
Later on in the day at the dismissal bell you found yourself heading to Melissa’s classroom now changed into a tight tshirt repping the band instead of your button up, luckily you had it with you because during your lunch period you spent the hour trying to get bright green paint out of the front of it.
You knock on the door frame like you usually do and stand ready with a smile.
“Let’s get outta here, Schemmenti, I have booze to drink and songs to scream.”
Melissa laughs grabbing her bag. “Am I gonna get to see drunk y/n tonight?”
“Nope. Happy buzzed, y/n? Yes.” You laugh as you two walk arm in arm out to her truck.
Downtown is busy for a Friday evening. People are going home from work, people are tailgating for a Phillies game, and others are getting ready for the concert.
“Babe, let’s go get some food first.” You suggest as you two walk from the parking structure to the bustling sidewalks. Melissa makes note of the nickname, a small smile on her lips as you make your way into a crowded bar.
“You’re taking charge today, huh?” She asks as you both weave through the crowd hand in hand.
“You knew a guy that got us the tickets, the least I can do is get the dinner and drinks.” You beam as you make it to the table tops. You’d brushed off her comment from earlier, happy to take what she could give no matter if it was just friendship or something more.
“Ya know, I’m sorry for what I said earlier.” She says leaning in so you can hear her over the noise.
You stand up a little straighter shaking your head giving her a soft smile. “I’m not worried about it, Mel.” You hum giving her a kiss on the cheek to make your point.
Throughout dinner and on your way to the arena, in your mind nothing is different but to Melissa she was about to take a big chance tonight and take Barbs advice. As you two made your way through the crowd, drinks in hand she keeps her arm around your waist as you make it up to a deck near the side of the stage- a spot people would kill for. Luckily Melissa only had to bake for a guys family party in return for the tickets.
You sip your drink and look around, chatting with the people around you as the opening band plays.
“How long have you two been together?” One of the other girls around you asks.
“This is our first official date.” Melissa yells over the noise. You look at her with a grin wrapping your arm around her shoulder.
“It took me two years and a lot of bribery to make it happen.” You joke with the stranger.
Well into the concert you’re warm from the drinks and dancing you’d been doing, a sheen of sweat covering you. Melissa grins keeping her arm wrapped around you as you move to the familiar beat.
Words like violence
Break the silence
Come crashing in
Into my little world
Painful to me
Pierce right through me
Can't you understand?
Oh, my little girl
You two hadn’t talked, but you turn wrapping your arms around her shoulder as you two continue to bop around with the rest of the crowd.
“All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm”
You tip your head back singing along, Melissa stilling you with her hands on your hips. You let out a breathless laugh when she leans in slowly capturing your lips in a soft kiss.
With your fingers buried in soft curls you pull back with a grin pulling her closer to put her in front of you, finally getting the girl.
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ask-carmenpondiego · 26 days
Text
Chapter 22: Ex Sex, Demon Blood, and Robot Limbs
The holidays came and went without much issue, took about a week for Carmen to adjust to walking again and even quicker to adjust to her new arms. M had holed himself back into his room for the most part, much to the teen siblings disappointment. They wanted to see how bad his jolly could get. But nonetheless his gifts were set by his door for him to collect. On HearthsWarming morning, the teens came down from their prepared rooms to find that the little humble decor that was previously put up had multiplied tenfold, the tree was almost overloaded with ornaments, a curved fortress wall of presents for every person in that HQ was sitting both under and around the tree, almost as high as the tree itself. Walls had boughs of holly, evergreen, ribbon and poinsettia flowers in a classic red green and gold motif. There were straw grass goats, menorahs, different species figurines caroling, candles of nearly every color that was specific to multiple different holidays. It was like every winter holiday exploded into a single room.
Blendin and Daring’s eyes went huge and their mouths were unable to shut for a very long time, they were so stunned. Carmen had gotten up early to start the massive amount of festive food and blinked as she sipped her coffee, leaning a little on Wally’s walking cane. “Well. That was expected. Looks like M couldnt contain it in his room this year.” The kids looked at her, “M DID THIS?!” Carmen nodded, sipping more coffee. “Mmhm. This is what I was warning you about. This is just the living room. See all this? Embody all this into a single person. Thats what he is dealing with. And he HATES it. Like a song you absolutely hate being stuck in your head only worse.”
Vasha and Drake came through the front door and stopped short, “M got loose? And we missed it??” 079 blipped up on the tv, which was decorated in tinsel garland much to the ai’s annoyance. “Yes, yes, the rude one spent all night like a cartoon whirlwind, I’m surprised no one woke up with the incessant caroling off key.” Soon everyone, other than M respectably, had seen the holiday explosion and marveled at the little personal details for each agent and family member. After a hefty breakfast of meats, waffles, pancakes, french toast and various danish and fruit, they all gathered for gifts. Predictably the kids got the majority of presents since it was their first winter season with family. “There no way we can bring all stuff this back to our dorms…” they both lamented. Asta shrugged, “Why not just split the stuff between here and there? Its not like you don’t have a place to stay right here. You can come and go as you please!” Blendin absolutely loved the idea while Daring was a little more apprehensive. She then noticed everything of hers had a gift receipt, to which Carmen nodded, “To show you that we didnt steal any gifts. I want you to trust us. Our honesty is one of our biggest gifts we have for you.” Daring smiled a bit, still torn. “Everything is so nice, and not just blindly given. All these things are all part of my interests..” she paused and it looked like she was looking for something to be mad about it all. But all she could muster was, “Well, I still think you’re up to something! Quit trying to prove me wrong!” And after muttering a sincere thank you, she proceeded to curl up on the sofa, getting a feel of her new phone and laptop complete with writing programs to make it easier to write and publish her works.
Lekir plopped a bow onto Carmen’s head and joking poked Wally, “Hey Stripes, Happy HearthsWarming, we upgraded your wife! With those augments from Sky and Sig, and the demon essence, she’s no longer a little squishy! She can actually take a hit now!” Carmen thought a moment. “So I got stronger, live longer, my appearance changed and I have fire powers. What about the new fangs and am I supposed to draw heat to make heat? Because I made something cold with one hand and something hot in the other earlier.”
Lekir raised an eyebrow and suddenly got onto the mare’s lap and started sticking her fingers into her muzzle to look at her teeth. “What do you mean cold? What fangs?" She looks closer into her mouth and quickly clasps her hands around her wife's snout, "FUCK! Okay... so good news and... not bad news!" Carmen blinks, confused, “Well you said I was only half demon now. What do you mean not ba- Ow…You mabe me bipe my tonge.. mmh, I hope I’m not venomous or poisonous. Because that would suck about now. Or am I a fire vampire?” Lekir baps her lightly and sits back down, debating about getting a chart and crayons.
“You’re not a fire vampire, you’re an idiot sandwich. But no, You don't inject anything... well you could but don't try it, you could possibly liquefy someone from the inside out or freeze them entirely while removing all the water in their body, essentially freeze drying them.” Carmen narrows her eyes, running her tongue over her teeth, “I dunno if I like that.” Lekir waves it off, “Its not really something you need to worry about, its more a conscious thing like you would need to choose to do it. So first off, don’t bite people. Ok, I told you about the pendant that had my brother's essence, right? My two brothers have different parents, but we each share one, I'll leave out all the details of that, that's not important!” She takes a deep breath and tries to figure out how to simply explain it. “So, back in Cador, my home world, Larquez is what we called a Harbinger. They are a being who has purified blood due to Ketsru blood, demon blood. Instead of it causing mixed bloods to create a lesser of the two parents like in your world, it instead enhances both or more to 100%, meaning you're 100% Jirvi, Ketsru, Vesk and... equine. None of your history is removed, just... more if itself. It's hard to explain, but the title should be a hint. You are much more than you ever were, and likely able to overwhelm me now... which means... WE CAN BE ROUGH WITH YOU!” Carmen squints her eyes suspiciously, “And you got all that from my hand being cold and hot and by looking at my new fangs?”
The Vesk shrugs, “If you were only part Jirvi, fire demon, you would not be able to switch from hot to cold. It would be just fire. And the fangs aren’t a Jirvi trait. But this does mean you can also shapeshift since you are a Cador Harbinger now.”
Carmen scratches her head, “I honestly dont think I’m Harbinger material.. I mean I probably wont use most of what you say I can do.. I’m just a little thief.”
Lekir wags her tail, “A little thief who can fight and win wars and not break when having the most intense sex of her life! I’m sure Ninoga and Kiros are gonna be thankful not to have to treat you like bone china anymore!” Carmen’s face got as red as her blouse, “I dont want to fight in wars or anything like that.. but the sex does sound pretty nice..” Daring exclaims out loud, “Omg! Can we NOT talk about my mom’s sex life?! Its fucking gross!! We are right here! We dont wanna hear about our parents fucking everyone under the sun! Right Blendin?!… Blendin?” Daring turns and sees her brother not even paying any attention as he had new headphones on and was fully engrossed in playing a new handheld video game.
Lekir snickers and pats Carmen on the thigh, “Don’t worry, you’re now able to survive the gravity and atmosphere of Cador, I can bring you there and there’s a few Harbingers there that can teach you how to control your new powers. We can go starting next month if you wish. Maybe take a few weeks off or something. I’ll get to show you around.” Wally grins, “Wow, that is a lot to kinda sink in. So she is technically a main character now, not just the odd one out! Like an anime!!” Blendin looks up, moving his headphones, “Someone say anime??” Daring just gives a slow turn look at him, “You heard THAT but not all the other stuff?!” He blinks, “What other stuff?”
After cleaning up the wrappings and ribbons, there was a modest feast complete with desserts, to which after was the mountain of dishes that took nearly three days to clean completely down to the last fork. Luckily by then all the leftovers were already devoured and enjoyed, the wine cellar had never looked as empty in quite a while.
Soon it was the middle of the first month of the new year, the kids went back to their dorms and M stumbled out of his room all haggard and hungover. The HQ had been cleared of holiday swag and was back to its normal decor for at least a week or two. He made his way to the kitchen to brew some deathwish coffee, black, no sugar, no cream. From in the very large walk in pantry, the entrance to the wine cellar glowed blue and Skyggja and Drake were hauling stacks of crates of different liquors and spirits on dollies, trying to replenish the inventory that was consumed over the holidays. “Hey its the sleeping snow angel, awake from its nap!” Drake chuckled as M leaned against the pantry door, his response was just a deep growly groan as he sipped the coffee. His somewhat tattered teal and blue insect wings twitched a bit but his tentacles were still tucked in, not shown. His long slender and brushlike tail swayed with slight growing annoyance as he watched more crates get stored.
“Where’s Red?” He grumped, Skyggja raising an eyebrow, holding a crate for a moment. “Well aren’t you your bright and festive self. This must be you normally from what I’ve heard. Carmen is upstairs with Sig, she wanted to discuss possible add-ons to her hands. I think she thinking about storing lock-picks or something in there. Which is really easy to do. We just need to make sure her new superpowers dont interfere with the system or components.” M scratched his head with one eye closed, “New Superpowers? I thought I heard something about her only having fire.. ain’t yer stuff fireproof or some shit?” Skyggja set down the crate and put her hands on her hips, “Didn’t anyone update you yet?” M grumbled, “Yer the first two souls I’ve seen since waking the fuck up. I haven’t even looked at the fuckin calendar yet.” His face showed how much of a hangover he had, even his cheeks had a tinge of queazy green. “Oh, well Lekir can fill you in with details but the shortcut version is that the essence made her more than fire but rather she won the lottery and got like three other bloods? Something confusing but she’s considered a Harbinger now and has new added strength and other things. Like you could slam a metal chair against her back and she’s just look at you, not budging.” M smacked his lips and sighed, looking into his drink. “Well la-dee-fuckin-dah. Looks like I’ll need to find a Vesk and do some fucking homework. As long as nothing fucking changed her into someone she’s not..Then I’d have a fuckin problem.”
Drake chuckled, “Oh, no, she’s her usual stubborn self, just dealing with a lot changes. Rightfully so. She says she’s taking it stride but I’ve heard her break down behind closed doors once or twice. Its gonna take a bit for her to get over what happened.” M hmmed in return and turned to walk away but paused and looked at the glowing doorway, taking a sip. “Hm. Maybe I’ll work on the C5 doorway later. We do have that interdimensional item transporter just sitting in the mech lab. I bet I can access the fuckin multiverse if I connect the ley doors and Chronoskimmer to it.” He muttered. Skyggja stacked more crates, just about finished, “Just make sure you run it past me, I don’t want any funny business running through the system. I don’t need that goofy ass Dogma Metatron digital wanna-be nagging me for something I had no clue about!” M waved his hand, “Yeh, yeh..” and proceeded to talk a walk outside by the perimeter.
He strolled the beach and stood watching the waves for a few moments before he noticed a small boat that was dragged ashore. Looks like its been there possibly an hour with how the tide was currently. His gaze wandered up towards the gardens and saw a small moving patch of electric blue hair. Cracking his neck, he magically sent (a power that he called shadowing to summon or send away items from a short distance) his cup back to the kitchen with a small puff of toxic green flame and smoke and straightened his half open button down shirt, tucking it into his pants. He silently made his way to the intruder. An extremely slender dark balance changeling female, same body color and tail shape as M, but her hair was that electric fiberoptic looking blue hair in a half shaved/ shoulder length droopy mohawk style that he had seen from the beach and her eyes, segmented and gradient like his, only in red and yellow. She was crouching behind the bushes, taking account of the security cameras. Deciding to mess with her, he crouches down near her, rubbing his chin and whispers, “Do you think they’ll notice us?” Her long ears perked up as her eyes grew wide, whipping her head towards him. It took her a minute before squealing with delight, “Oh em gee!! Skaedfryd!! I didn’t know you were here! Were you assigned here too?! We can work together!!” She flung herself at him hard, tackling him and planting her lips upon his. He pushed her off his lips and leaned up on his elbows as she stayed straddling his hips. He wiped his muzzle with his sleeve.
Assigned? What was her game? M recognized the changeling as his ex from 200 or so years back. “Uh, yeh, I’ve been posted here for a while. Why are you here?” She flitted her little red and orange wings, shimmying her shoulders, “I got hired by this big shot no name contractor to put a hit on the red lady in there! Who hired you?” His ears dipped back as he narrowed his eyes, dropping the playful act, “I was hired by the red lady in there. I’m part of her fuckin security.” She shimmied again, grinding her hips, “Oh so a secret inside hit job then? You were always the best cause of death in our generation~” she practically moaned at him. She ran her fingers over his chest, slipping into his shirt, licking her lips. He sighed in annoyance and dropped his head back. “No, you fucking dumb bitch. I mean I am literally her protector. I don’t kill. I found something better to put my talents toward.”
This was news to her and her mood switched on a dime, “So you mean to tell me this cunty unicorn basically pussy-whipped you into submission? What the actual fuck? You were so sexy back when you were covered in blood, pieces of corpse littering the ground, your claws ripping through muscle and sinew like a hot knife through butter~” she got sidetracked again and started to grind again. She stopped and looked down, “Why arent you getting hard?” He growled, “Because I dont fucking like you, you annoy the piss outta me and I want you to get off of me.” Its not like he couldn’t just toss her, but he gave her a chance to move on her own. She leans forward, brushing some hair behind her ear, moaning, “Thats not what you said two hundred years ago~ As I recall, you used my horns like handle bars to bend my back in such a twisted way~ Ooohm, makes me wet just remembering!~” His eyes glowed as he picked her up with his tentacles and got to his feet, dusting himself off. She, on the other-hand, seemed to be in near orgasm just by the thought of being handled by tentacles. “For fuck sakes, get a fuckin hold of yerself!” He simply tossed her into a bush and shuddered. “Crazy ass bitch, get off our island and report back to yer boss that you failed. Fuck, you’re so fuckin one track minded. I’m goin back to work. Fuck this shit.”
She watched him stalk away but then hurried after him, she had shifted from her navy blue catsuit, to a baby blue pleated short skirt, a low cut light purple crop tank top and baby pink leg warmers and light green fishnet elbow length fingerless gloves. She whipped a vine around his ankles and swept him off his feet so he dangled upside down face to face to her, her smile to his grimace. “See? I turned that frowny frown upside down! We should totally sixty-nine like this sometime~” M nods, “Oh sure, how about the Tuesday after never, which is a week after Fuck off!” She laughed “You’re so funny! Now come on, you can tell me all the little details on this little chicky’s weaknesses~ I need to hurry and get this job done so I can do my nails. They’re gonna look sooo good around your cock… and scratching down your back as you take me, mmmhf!~” she squirmed as she stood in front of him, he was still upside down and quickly losing patience. He had learned to be extra cautious of his actions during his hangover, he had a bad habit of overreacting greatly. Things that normally make him quickly explode now brings him to a slow rumbling boil before going all out.
“So yer saying that you need a good fucking, right? You want me to rail you till you cant walk right for weeks, fill you up with my juices and make you my little sex pet, is that it?” He softened his tone to a low sexual growl, making her legs tremble just from listening to him. “Oooh fuck yes!!” She begged, letting him down to stand on his own. He caressed the back of her neck with surprising gentleness with his hand, the other sliding around the small of her back. He twisted her so she had her back to him as he pressed against her, his hand almost cupping her chin upwards as the other explored her front, his muzzle kissing and nipping her neck hungrily as she practically melted in his grasp. She writhed and moaned, he stroked her nethers just barely. She couldnt see his eyes but they were twitching in disgust. His hand wanted to recoil from feeling how drenched she was.
He removed his hands and grasped hers together behind her back, shadowing a pair of Carmen’s handcuffs and locking them in place before pushing her to the ground, face down, ass up. “Oohhh fuck! If I known you were going to be this kinky, I would have brought toys!! Aaahhhnnn~” she wriggled her ass as he got close behind her, he could feel her grinding, he reached and grabbed her hair and pulled her head back, “I always knew you were such a bad girl. You really want me to stick it deep, dont you? You want to feel every single inch…” she cried out and begged, her body already trembling in wanton anticipation. “Oh god yes!! Give it to me!!” He straightened up and shadowed Lekir’s spear into his grip and thrust it into her back by her shoulders and pushed it all the way through deep into the ground. The changeling mare screeched and her two vines whipped out by her wings, trying to attack him. Effortlessly, he catches both and pulls them taught, using a large folded pocketknife to slice them off by the base. She writhed and attempted to reach the spear but the way he had her positioned and bound, she didnt have proper movement nor leverage strength to rescue herself. “What the FUCK?! That shit is cold like ice!! Let me up! Skaedfryd!! I’m gonna kill you for this!!”
She, like M, was not so easily disposed or destroyed by a simple spear to the body. For good measure, he hammered the end a little bit to make sure it didnt move. He picked up the severed now-wilted vines and wiped his face with his sleeve, groaning. “Maybe now you’ll take the hint and fuckin leave.” He got halfway the path when Lekir starts coming towards him, “Where is it, bug boy? I know you took my spear! And Carmen’s cuffs. Only you have this green flamey smoky magic. I’ll have you know I was in the middle of- is that..? what is doing over there?” He looked over his shoulder at the struggling ex and shrugged. “I needed it for gardening, ya know, just doing some trimming, getting rid of some pesky horny weeds.” He tosses the vines into the compost heap and puts the knife back into his pocket.
The Vesk narrowed her eyes and looked at M’s supposed victim. “Right. Gardening.. well, you seem busy, I’ll leave you to… whatever that is. By the way, you got a bit of something there..” she gestured to a sizable wet spot on the front of his pants. “FOR FUCK SAKE I JUST WASHED THESE! YOU DAMN HORNY ASS BITCH!” He stormed off towards the HQ, “Whatever, you deal with her, put her inside an iceberg to sink the titanic for all I care. God damn stupid crazy ass bitch…” Lekir just observed the struggling ex for a moment before joining him inside the mansion, ignoring the stream of obscenities.
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comesitintheclover · 2 months
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This is a love letter to being trans and to other trans people
this is for my t4t first kiss and being seen as a boy by those close to me before I cut my hair and the world started catching up.
this is for the first time a stranger called me a man unprompted being a day I was wearing earrings and bejewelled clips in my hair. For not having to change who I am to be a man.
this is for the trans masc lesbian who taught me how to break in my docs. the gemstones of community collected through time
this is for helping each other bind and songs by indie girl bands about wanting to be a boy, Kate bush singing about not being seen as a boy when she’s riding white horses and I don’t know what she means but I feel it in me and I’m sixteen and binding for the first time and everything feels magical.
this is for my trans brother putting trans stickers in public bathroom stalls and me seeing them at school and feeling less alone.
this is for me falling in love with the ways your voice and your body are changing with every T shot, falling more for you, and falling in love with what I will get to do one day.
this is for the YouTubers who I rewatch, those who show their bodies to the world and face the endless bs to help their trans siblings. The posts and forums that I have screenshotted. For the strangers who helped me find myself and will never know how comforted their words made me.
this is for the flamboyant album by Dorian Electra and splendor dysphoria by Superknova. For the trans musicians and artists and authors who inspire me forever and ever. Who create little infinities of bliss in their 3 minutes of song or few square inches of book pages.
this is for the overlap of identities and the love of body hair and all the butterfly themed stuff I have because they’re a transgender allegory. this is for waking up and touching my chest because it was just a nightmare and the surgery went well and this is my chest now (and it’s like it’s always been)
this is for feeling so proud that I didn’t back down when I could have stomached it because I’m so happy now I didn’t realise how much it hurt before.
this is for finding ourselves while governments uses us as its favourite chewtoy. for reading banned books. For seeing the world change. For the better and worse. For all the highs and lows. this is for you yelling back at that stranger “not a girl!” And me startled and anxious by your side and a bit starstruck. Falling a bit more in love. Writing 500 songs about it, maybe
this is for you telling me it’s okay to just try a new pronoun as we sat on the baseball benches that may. For us with our then-long hair in the sand that summer grinning about being boy-girl-girl-boy-girl-boy-girl-boy-boys. For wearing suits during spirit week. For the sopranos in suit and tie at the choir concert. For the beauty and joy of trans existence.
for the pronoun pins they made at the library. That my brother painted on a bottle cap for me. for getting to give my brother new nicknames from his new name.
this is for the trans people who have given me community and offered me a place to sleep and reignited my faith in humanity
this is for the queer youth group in the new town I lived in this summer. For seeing trans and queer people who were older than me. With white hair. For being cared for, for seeing a future that isn’t lonely. For the road trip we took and doodle the younger kid drew of us all. For spaces that our queer elders have created for us and and we will care for in turn 💗
this is for when you took me to the trans beach day for our third? last? date and I didn’t know what pronouns to put on my my-name-is sticker and I was scared I was an imposter but everyone was so kind and I saw life life life, joy joy joy. More people than the kind that get on a for you page or got cooked up in my feverish brain during lockdown. It was a new welcoming into the world and reality is always so much more beautiful than whatever one dimensional hope I could dream on my own.
this is for the binder I got that summer now neatly folded in the memory box at the top of my wardrobe with old poems and letters and that photo of us at pride when I finally decided I could go too 💗, too high up for me to reach this January with new scars across my chest.
it’s for the way we take care of each other. My friend who made me spaghetti and lent me his mastectomy pillow. For my bff crocheting me trans coloured flowers and a teddy bear. Telling me there’s no such thing as fish or men, helping me through post-surgical depression.
for how we change as time passes. For how we reconnect with new names. For how we may lose each other but still wish each other well with this journey. for poems about god and grapes and wine you collaged onto your bedroom wall. For the genderbendy collages I kept hidden in my closet.
for cutting off my tits to feel comfortable in skirts again. For being understood. For laying on the living room floor years ago telling you I see you as you even if they don’t. And you saying “what do you see though?”. For the hard bits. The times I’ve fucked up. For calling the help line. For your drag king/thing makeup. For the day I learned the word tomboy.
this is for us sitting on the summer sidewalk talking about missing T shots and microdosing and how it’s all gonna be okay.
this is for when you pointed at that statue of apollo and said you wished you looked like that and I bit my tongue because that was your journey to have not mine. This is for being mooned at a queer show. for being offered a cigarette in place of a kiss. for knowing I'll support you no matter what. for joking (kinda) about getting free the nipple tattooed of my post-surgery chest. for being both a woman and a man because I can.
this is for the beauty of the transgender experience, for not understanding gender but feeling it anyways. For becoming because you can, because the world is more open and joyful in a lot of ways now. It’s for coming back to school after quarantine and never being the only kid using multiple pronouns in each class. It’s for hope. It’s for life being more than death. It’s for the beauty of creation and the infinite shapes it takes. It’s for deciding the masculine is not alien. It’s for getting tipsy in the uni lounge and comparing how we think about our genders and feelings so cozy and there being no absolutes. this is for life being confusing but beautiful anyway. For not being able to decide wether to grow my hair back to my waist or to buzz it again. For the joy of waking up with hair short enough to stick up crazily. For you giving me an undercut with stationary scissors when I was 16 there was nothing better to use.
this is for gender being silly fun and profound all at once, all the time.
this is for the day I felt shit going into the woman’s bathroom and I saw this:
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this is for @boy-gender happy birthday! Thank you for helping me out with my fears about top surgery and listening to me rant about gender. I hope you have a wonderful day!
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blackwidownat2814 · 1 year
Text
Magical Mystery Ride (J.Seresin)
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Pairing: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x plus size!reader, Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x librarian!reader, Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x Garcia!reader, Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x latina!reader
Word Count: 4719
A/N: This was written for @roosterforme's Love Is In the Air challenge. The song I chose was John Legend's romantic hit, All of Me; it's what inspired the title! Thanks once again to the incomparable, amazing, sweet @jobean12-blog for her help beta-ing and letting me bounce ideas off her when I'd get stuck.
Trigger Warnings: Bob has an accident that isn't described. Jake has an accident that is described. Depressed Jake. Negative feelings of self-worth. I know absolutely nothing about comas because I am not a doctor.
‼️⚠️I do not give permission for any of my work to be copied, translated or reposted anywhere else but on my own blog.⚠️‼️
Masterlist
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You didn’t think you’d be back here so soon.  The pale cream walls of BMC MCAS Miramar taunted you as you made your way down the hall.  Everyone had just been here a few weeks before when Bob had been recovering from a training accident.  You weren’t privy to the details of said accident, but all you knew was that Jake was directly at fault.
And even though Bob forgave Jake, the guilt was absolutely crushing him.
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You hadn’t been to see Bob in the first couple of days after the accident because you knew he was going to feel overwhelmed with the squad, Mav, Penny, and quite a few others checking on him.  You sent a ‘Get Well’ gift with Mickey and you texted with him regularly.  When you finally went to go see him, you heard Jake’s raised voice.
“How can you say that to me Bob?” Jake snapped.  “How can you forgive me for that stupid mistake when it almost cost you your life?”
“Jake, did you do it on purpose?  Did you do that with the express purpose of killing me?” Bob asked quietly.  You could hear Jake stammering, like he was so appalled that Bob would ask him that and he just couldn’t form an answer.
“Hell no.  Of course not!” he cried.  “I may act like an asshole, and tease you like we were kids in school, but I’m not that guy.  You’re one of my favorite people, man.  Dewey loves you like you were another brother, and I love her, so…”
“Then why shouldn’t I forgive you?”  Jake didn’t respond, so you made some noise to alert them you were heading their way.
You walked into Bob’s hospital room with a smile and went to greet him first.
“Hey Bobbers, how are you feeling?” 
“I’m getting there.”
“Good.”  You gave him a kiss on the temple and turned to see an expressionless look on Jake’s face.  You pulled him into a hug, which he seemed less than enthusiastic to return. “Jake?”
Jake wouldn’t look at you.  His eyes focused on the floor.
“I, uh…I’m gonna go now.”
“But J-”  He swept out of Bob’s hospital room without so much as a ‘goodbye’ to either of you.  You were staring at the doorway your boyfriend had just walked out of when you heard your name being called, your real name.  You went and took a seat at Bob’s bedside.
“He’s just beating himself up over what happened.  Jake’s one of the best–don’t you ever tell him I said that–and so when he messed up, and someone got hurt, it threw him for a loop.”
“I just wish I knew how to help him.”
“Just give him time Dewey.”
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You gave him time.  Everyone did.  Bob was released several days later, and Jake wouldn’t look him in the eye when Bob (once again) told him that he forgave him.
“I mean it Jake”, Bob said.  “You don’t need to hold this over yourself.  You didn’t do it on purpose.  I forgive you.”  
“You shouldn’t.”  Jake picked up his things and turned back towards him.  “You shouldn’t forgive me.  I ruin every good thing I touch.”
That’s the day it started…at least, that’s what Bob and the others told you.  Jake started to be more reckless with his flying.  Jake was no longer dripping in confidence to which everyone was accustomed.  Mickey would tell you that he appeared to lose his confidence, in his abilities to be the best and just about everything else.
You saw it too, if you were lucky to see him. When you did see him, he barely held you; at first it was just holding your hand and kisses at the corner of your mouth.  It eventually whittled down to no touches or kisses at all.  He barely acknowledged you, except for saying ‘Hey’ when he noticed you were around.  You knew what was happening: he was pulling away.
You did everything you could to show him that despite his mistake, you still loved him and you always would.  Jake wouldn’t accept that, however, so you decided not to push anymore.  You’d be there when he was ready, but you wouldn’t push because you knew that would only drive him farther away.
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You stood in the doorway of Room 2188, watching the gentle rise and fall of Jake’s chest.  His sister, Lauren (Jesse and Isla’s mom), was sitting with him
“You know, Jake, the girls miss you.  They keep asking when they can see Uncle Jake.”  She sniffled a little before continuing.  “So I’m going to need you to wake up.  For them, for me, for Leslie, for Coyote and all your other friends…but especially for your girl.  I know you love her and she loves you.  You miss him somethin’ awful, don’t ya, Dewey?”
You hadn’t realized she knew you were there.
“Very much”, you replied.  Lauren stood as you walked over and hugged her.  “Any change?”
“None.”  You could see she was tired.  She’d spent the entire night at the hospital since you weren’t allowed to.  You and Jake weren’t married so you weren’t ‘family’.
“Go get some rest.  Get you a shower and something to eat.  The girls are probably tired of Rooster and Coyote.  I’ll let you know if anything changes.”
“I think it’s more the other way around to be honest.”  She gave you a big hug before gathering her things to leave.  “Thanks Dewey.  We’ll get our Jake back soon.”
“I hope so.”  Lauren shut the door as she left.  You leaned forward and kissed Jake’s hair since his face had several bruises that you didn’t want to aggravate.  You sat down in the chair Lauren had been occupying and reached forward for Jake’s hand.  You made sure to avoid touching his side, where he was still healing from being impaled by a piece of debris (he had been lucky because the piece of jagged metal had missed major organs).
Before you could speak, there was a knock at the door and Dr. Bast stepped in.
“Hello Miss Garcia.  How’s our favorite librarian today?”  The doctor’s English accent was soothing and helped calm your nerves.
“Ok as I can be Doc.”
“That is quite understandable.”  Dr. Bast picked up Jake’s chart and started reading over the notes made by the night nurses.
“So, any theories as to why he hasn’t woken up yet?” you asked.
“Unfortunately not.  While he has no swelling in his brain, he did get thrown against the ground harder than we would like, so that’s what caused the traumatic brain injury, therefore the coma.  It could’ve been worse, had he not been wearing a helmet.”
You looked back at Jake, and brushed the hair from his forehead.  “I need you to come back to me cowboy, okay?  Please.”
“Don’t worry Miss Garcia, your lieutenant will be alright, even if I can’t tell you when.  He’s improving each day.”  Dr. Bast smiled at you from the other side of Jake’s hospital bed.  “Just keep talking to him, he’ll hear you.”
“I always thought that was a myth.”
“Patients may not hear every single thing, but they still hear you.  Anyways, I’ve also got a surprise for you: You’re being allowed overnight stays with Lt. Seresin.”
Your head whips around to the doctor.
“Really?”  He nods and you shoot out of your seat to pull him into a hug.  “Thanks so much Dr. Bast, I really appreciate it.”
“It was nothing.  Now, I’ll leave you to it.  We’ll be back to check on him later.”
You resume your post next to Jake’s bed once again, but you suddenly couldn’t stand the quiet, so you switched on the tv and were deep in commentary about a movie you were watching on Netflix called Set It Up (“You know, if you look real close at when Charlie and Harper are having pizza, you can see the exact moment he falls in love with her, I swear!”) when there was a knock at the door and your brother and Reuben stepped in.
“Hey hermanita.”
“Little Garcia.”
You stood and both men gave you almost bone-crushing hugs and pulled up chairs.
“Thanks for visiting guys.”
“Of course.  We needed to see how Jake was doing”, replied Mickey.  He took a deep breath before continuing.  “But we also came because we wanted to talk to you.”
“Fanboy, maybe we shouldn’t–”
“She needs to know man”, Mickey said, cutting off his pilot.
“But–”
“Guys!  What are you talking about?  What do I need to know?” you asked as you looked at your brother and Reuben.
“About the conversation we had with Jake the day of his accident.”
“What did he say Mickey?”
“You have to understand, he felt like shit after what happened to Bob.  All of us could see he’d lost confidence in himself and he wasn’t flying like we all know he should’ve been…”
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“You need to get out of your head Hangman, or you’re going to make my sister a widow before you can make her a wife.”  
Jake felt the hurt of that comment in his spine.  It had been so long since Fanboy, or anyone for that matter, had said his callsign with such disdain, so it only piled on the hatred Jake was already feeling for himself.  It also didn’t help that he’d taken Fanboy to lunch to ask for his blessing to propose to Dewey a few days before Bob’s accident.
“Well, maybe she’d be better off without me.  I was the reason her best friend got hurt, and he could’ve died”, Jake said.  No one had ever heard him sound so defeated.  “Besides, I know you never liked me for her…”  Fanboy sighs.
“Jake…man, that’s not what I sa–”  Jake cuts him off.
“You thought it though.”  Fanboy was getting increasingly worried as the conversation continued.  “Maybe I should just go.  I’m probably only going to fuck up her life.”
“Jake.”
Before Jake could reply, he heard a horrible sound coming from his jet’s engines and alarms began going off in the cockpit.  He heard Payback and Fanboy calling out to him.
“Hangman, what’s going on?!”
“Is it a bird strike?” he heard Fanboy call out over coms.
“No, there’s something wrong with the engines!”  Suddenly he heard another grinding sound and then his left wing was on fire.
“Hangman!  Eject!” Maverick’s panicked voice came through his headset.  “Eject!”
“Extinguishing left engine!”  Jake went through the process of trying to quell the fire in the engine, when an alarm went off signaling the failure of his right engine.  “Damn it!  Extinguishing right engine!”
“HANGMAN!  EJECT NOW!”  Memories of the day of Phoenix and Bob’s crash years before played through Jake’s mind as Maverick screamed at him.  He tried starting the engines once more, if only to gain a bit more altitude so he could eject safely.  That did the same as it had when Phoenix tried it and it sent Jake’s Super Hornet spiraling.
Jake pulled the ejection handle and flew upwards as his jet made impact and exploded, sending debris flying at him.  He cried out in pain as he looked down to see a piece of metal sticking out of the left side of his abdomen.
And because luck was not on his side, a gust of wind sent him careening towards the ground.  The impact was enough to knock him completely out and as the darkness crept into his vision, his last thought was of you.
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“...and if that hadn’t happened, he probably wouldn’t be in a coma”, Mickey said.  You had tears streaming down your face by the time Mickey finished (an abridged version) of his story.  Your brother and Reuben pulled you into a group hug.
“I’m sorry Little Garcia”, Reuben said.  “I know he’s going to be okay.  He’ll be back to normal, showin’ us all up in no time.”
“I hope so Reuben”, you replied.  “Thank you for telling me.”
“No problem hermanita.”  
Mickey and Reuben stayed a couple more hours, eventually leaving only because they had training to get to.
Eventually, Dr. Bast returned to do his nightly check on Jake, so you went down to the cafeteria to pick something up for your dinner.
The doctor was gone by the time you got back, so you settled in the chair and flipped the tv on just so you had something on in the background.  After dinner, Bob and Phoenix stopped by for a quick visit after training and dropped off a small bag of your things that Mickey had put together for you.
After your best friend and his pilot left, you decided to get ready for bed.  After Mickey’s story earlier, you felt emotionally drained.  It was when you were about to start your face care routine that you got an idea.  You put on your headband and grabbed the extra and left the bathroom to see Jake.
“I’ve decided that we’re going to have a spa night cowboy.  Now, I know you hate my cat ear headband, but you’re unconscious so you have no say.  Got to keep all that glorious hair out of the way you know.”  
You slipped it on and then went to the bathroom to do your cleanser.  After patting your face dry, you grabbed a package of face wipes, moisturizer, and a jar of eye masks and placed them on the small hospital bed table.  
Before you began anything, you opened Spotify on your phone and pulled up your Liked Songs playlist and tapped play.  The soothing tones of Henry James’ It’s Been A Long, Long Time started flowing from the speaker (it being the song that played on your drive to the hospital).  After setting aside the phone, you popped open the package of face wipes and carefully wiped his face clean.
Henry James segued into John Legend’s All of Me, one of your favorite romantic songs.  You started singing along quietly as you twisted open the jar of eye masks, and carefully place one sparkly patch under Jake’s right eye.
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose, I'm winning
After you put down the patch under Jake’s left eye, you put the eye masks on yourself, sat down next to Jake, and put your hand in his.  You continued singing along, and it got to the last verse when you felt a squeeze.  The song was immediately paused and you turned to look at your pilot.
“Jake?  Sweetheart?”  His face showed no signs that he was waking, and his heart monitor was a steady beep.  Maybe I imagined it? you thought to yourself.  You were looking at your hands when you saw it happen.  It felt like the hundreds of movies you’d seen where the unconscious person heard something and they magically woke up.  
So, you watched and waited.
Nothing happened.
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“Baby, can you turn it down?”
“Why does my face feel wet?”
“Where am I?”
“Dewey, why are you crying?  I can hear your crying.”
“Wait…why can’t I move?  Why can’t I open my eyes?”
“WHAT IS GOING ON?!”
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Unfortunately, you were not privy to Jake’s inner turmoil.  You didn’t hear him calling out for you as you pulled the headband and eye masks off his face, tossed them into the trash can, pressed the call button.
It was a few minutes later when you heard a knock and Jake’s night nurse (who’d introduced herself earlier), Nurse Jo, stepped in.
“Everything okay, love?”
“Uh…um, he squeezed my hand.”
“Now, are you su–”
“I know what I felt and what I saw.  He squeezed my hand.  Twice.”
“I’ll page Dr. Bast.”  She noted your shining eyes and came over and placed a calming hand on your back.  “Don’t worry, love.  He’s going to be okay.  If anything, this was an indication that he might be coming out of the coma.”
“I hope so.”
You texted Lauren to update her on what was going on with Jake, because you needed her to know immediately.  You had just put away your phone when Dr. Bas came in.
“Jo, what have we got?”
“Miss Garcia informed me that Lt. Seresin squeezed her hand twice.”
“Are you s–”
“100%.”  You cut him off.  “I saw it happen.”  The doctor looked Jake over some more, before he typed up his notes in Jake’s file.
“I cannot, with absolute certainty, tell you why he squeezed your hand.  It could be random muscle spasms, it could be something worse.  However, it could also mean that he’ll be waking up soon.  I’m hoping it’s that.  For now, I’ll have the nurses increase their checks on him, as well as I’ll come a few extra times each day if my schedule permits.”
“Thank you so much.”
“I will caution you, however.  When he wakes up, it usually comes in stages.  This isn’t like the movies where he’ll open his eyes and automatically remember what happened, who you are or who he is.  He’ll most likely be suffering from post-traumatic amnesia, which would account for his potential memory loss and he could also become restless and agitated.  So it’s best to not take a lot of what he says in the first hours or days to heart, it’s just his brain rebooting.”
“Will he remember all that?  The time right after he wakes up?”
“I couldn’t tell you for certain.  It’s different with every person.  But also, none of what he says, if he even does, is one of those ‘this is how feels deep down in his subconscious’ type of things.  Like I said, don’t take any of it seriously.”
You looked over at Jake and ran your hand through his messy hair.
“Is there anything else I need to keep an eye out for?” you asked without looking back over at Dr. Bast.
He explained a few more things before he and Nurse Jo left the room.  You called Lauren and let her know everything the doctor had told you.  After you finished the call, you put on Spotify again (on random), and by some weird chance, ‘All of Me’ started playing again.
You smiled as you set a sleep timer and grabbed a pillow and blanket to get comfy in your chair for the night.
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Lauren arrived the next morning, just in case.
Jake showed no other signs of waking up.
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The next day was almost the same.  Except that Bob, Rooster, and Coyote came to visit and Lauren told them what Dr. Bast had told you.  At first, everything was normal.  But when Rooster started talking, Jake squeezed your hand.  You failed to connect the two incidents and didn’t mention it.
Coyote took over the conversation, then Lauren said something that caused Rooster to chime in and Jake did it again.  The more Rooster spoke, you finally started putting it together.  The group realized something was going on when they realized you weren’t even paying attention to the conversation.
“What’s going on?”  Lauren gave you a questioning look.
“Everytime Rooster talked, Jake squeezed my hand.”
“Ha.  Even out cold, Bagman can’t get enough of me”, Rooster said with a smile.  It had been a while since Jake and Rooster would consider themselves rivals, and thought of each other as the brother neither ever had.
But Jake didn’t squeeze your hand when Rooster spoke that time, instead he–
“Uggggh.”
It was almost comical the way everyone stopped talking and snapped their heads towards Jake.  When he made no sounds, you looked at Rooster and motioned for him to talk some more.
“Uh…I never told you this Jake, but when you saved Mav and me, I almost cried.  I went to visit my parents after we got back and I told th–”
“Ch…”
“You’re a good man Jake, and one of the best wingmen I could ask for…”
“Chick…”
“So we need you to wake up, okay brother?”
“Chicken.”
“Really?!”
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Still, Jake didn’t wake up that day.  Everyone (but you and Lauren) left when Dr. Bast arrived.  They took Jake for tests and when they brought him back, told you two that he was showing amazing improvement.  Lauren switched out with you that night so you could go home for rest, but you didn’t really get any.  You were so worried he’d wake up and you wouldn’t be there.
When you arrived the next morning, you found Lauren and Dr. Bast in the hallway, both looked worried.
“--completely normal for him to not remember anything.  He’s suffering from Post-Traumatic Amnesia.  His head injury wasn’t too severe, so I don’t think it’ll last a significant amount of time.”
“He woke up?”  They both turned to look at you and Lauren rushed over.
“About 15 minutes ago.  I knew you’d already be on your way, and he needed to be looked over, so that’s why I didn’t call you.”
“No worries at all.”  You hugged her tight.  “How is he?”
“It appears that Lt. Seresin only remembers being in the Navy and being from Texas.”
“Can I see him?” you ask in a small voice.  Lauren nodded and Dr. Bast led you into the room.
“Lt. Seresin?”
“Yeah, doc?”  You felt your heart swell.  It had been so long since you’d heard that Texan drawl.
“Are you okay to receive another visitor?”
“‘Course doc.”  His accent was thicker than you had ever heard before.
“This is Miss Garcia, your–”
“--friend.”  You didn’t want to overwhelm Jake so soon. "We're friends."  
“Well, I’ll leave the two of you to it.”
“Like I said, I’m a friend of yours”, you said and took a seat near the bed, but not super close.  Jake’s eyes looked you over closely, making you want to shrink in on yourself.  You couldn’t help looking him over just in the same way: his hair looked a little shaggier and he had a decent beard going on.
“How are we friends?”
“My brother is in your squad.  His name is Mickey, Mickey Garcia.  Callsign Fanboy.”  Jake looked away for a minute, as if he searched his mental files for that name.
“Does he like Star Trek?”
“Yes!  Yes. Loves it.  I like to call it his one flaw, because I love–”
“Star Wars.”  Jake was still staring off into space.  “Your voice sounds familiar.”
“Well, we have known each other for a year or two now…”
“What’s your name?”  He smiled when you told him.
“But Reuben–his callsign is Payback…he’s a member of your squad too, and Mickey’s pilot–he likes to call me Little Garcia sometimes.  I still don’t get why.  I’m not younger than Mickey and I’m certainly not littler than he is–”
“You’re gorgeous.”
“Oh.”  You felt the heat creep up your neck and settle in your cheeks.  “Um, thank you.  You, uh, you don’t have to say that though.”
“I mean it.”
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It went like that for a couple days, but you weren’t at the hospital as often as you were when he was unconscious.  You told yourself it was so he could recover without having so many people around him, just Lauren to help him along.  
But in truth, you stayed away because you were worried; worried that he wouldn’t remember you or everyone but you and the relationship you two shared.  You always thought it was like a dream, a man like Jake wanting to be with someone like you…even after all this time.  Lauren would message you several times a day, telling you that Jake was asking for Little Garcia.  You made excuses that you were busy at work since you’d been gone for a bit after what happened to Jake. You knew you had chosen the wrong time to distance yourself, but you couldn’t help thinking What if, when he remembered everything, he realized he didn’t want to be with you anymore? or worse, What if he blamed you for the accident?  The rational part of your brain was screaming at you that you were so very wrong…but you just couldn’t hear it.
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Around four days after Jake woke up, you planned on finally going back to visit him after work, and went so far as shooting Lauren a quick text letting her know and set about working on shelf reading (aka organizing and straightening) the graphic novel section.
You were up on a step stool, when you heard what sounded like a group come in downstairs.  You thought about going down to see if Cas needed help, but decided against it; she’d call if she needed you.  Hoping the footsteps that signaled someone was coming upstairs were planning to avoid the section you were working in, you continued your organization.
You were zoned out as you worked so you were beyond surprised when you felt hands at your waist.  You let out a yelp as you were falling preparing for the pain of a fall that never came.  There was something about the arms around you, so as soon as you felt calm enough, your eyes snapped open.
“Jake?”  He helped you stand comfortably and scooted away from you.  “Oh my God, what are you doing here?  How are you feeling?”
“They let me out, and I’m feeling way better”, he replied.  “I’m not 100%, but I’m getting there.”
“Good!  I’m so glad.”
“Where have you been?  I’ve been waiting to see you Dewey.”
“I’ve been b- - Wait.  You called me Dewey.”
“I did.”
“That means- -”
“Yup.  I remember everything darlin’.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.”
“I’m s- -”
“Do you not love me anymore?” he asked.  “Is it because of the accident that hurt Bob?  D-do you have feelings for Bob?”
“No! No, Bob is my best friend.  I love him the way I love Mickey, he’s another brother to me. You know that.”
“Then what is it?”
“I love you more than everything.  I was just so scared that you’d never remember me or you’d wake up and realize your accident was my fault.”
“Sweetheart, my accident was a simple malfunction.  It happens  sometimes.”
“I was so scared, so so scared, that I was going to lose you.”
“I won’t lie to you and say that will never happen, because nothing is ever certain in this job.”
“I know.”  Jake smiled at you and took your hands in his, leading you over to the balcony overlooking the library’s main floor.  You gasped upon seeing all of the Dagger Squad, Penny, Amelia, Lauren, Cas, and even Nurse Jo and Dr. Bast gathered together.  Every one of them was holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers in your favorite color, smiling up at the two of you.
“Fanboy?”
“I know I’ve already given it, but yes, you have my blessing…and our parents’ too.”  You turned to look at Jake so fast, you swore you heard a cracking sound.
“Oh my God.  Oh my God. You’re- -”
“I am”, Jake answered with a smile and got down on one knee.  He reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out the most beautiful ring you’d ever seen.  “This belonged to Nana Seresin.  Our grandpa gave it to her back in the day when he proposed and said it was going to be handed down to me when I met the love of my life.  I went to visit Nana after that Halloween carnival.  You remember the one?”
“Mmhmm.”  You were completely incapable of words in that moment.
“I knew then, that one day, I was going to marry you.”  You were crying in earnest now.  “When I first woke up, and I couldn’t remember anything, I just knew there was something I was missing.  So I’m just going to keep it simple.  Miss Garcia, Dewey…Will you marry me?”
“You know how much I love quoting my favorite things…”
“Yeah…?”
“So, before I give you my answer, I’m going to use the words of a woman much wiser than me: ‘The only thing I ask is that you outlive me so I never have to live another day without you'.” **
“Is that a yes, baby?”
“Yes Jake, I’ll marry you.”  He slid the ring onto your finger and stood up, pulled you into his arms and kissed you.
The two of you pulled apart to everyone’s cheers.
“I love you so much Jake.”
“I love you too sweetheart.”
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Please don't forget to reblog and comment! Let me know what you think, but don't be a dick!
There will be more adventures for Jake & Dewey!!!
**Click here if you want to see what wise woman Dewey quoted. Spoilers for season 3 of Yellowstone.
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ikemenomegas · 1 year
Text
Gave my love
Portgas D Ace x Reader || Shooting Stars
a/n: Make a Wish prompt fill for panda-anon. I am crying because my first draft spun off into the void of my own technological mishaps, so I hope the second version is satisfactory. I'm sorry it took so long (it took forever for me to do the rewrite these last few weeks have been a bit hectic) I hope that you enjoy it! I apologize if Ace seems at all ooc, it's been a long time since I last took a deep dive into his character. He reads to me as someone who would be kind of a tsundere about romantic feelings but able to be happy if he told himself it was "just friends" so he could pretend to be normal about it. The boy has so many excuses: Butterflies? he's happy to see you, feeling hot? he's made of fire, jealous of your attention? you were his friend first... (also the linked song aged remarkably well, it's fun and noisy and is where the title came from) Thank you so much to my friend who braved an omegaverse fic to edit for me. I hate editing my own stuff and she did such a good job making sure that things weren't too obtuse. cw: omegaverse, alpha!reader, Ace's canon compliant self worth issues
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The trouble with narcolepsy isn't the daytime hours. He'd learned to manage those when he was a kid. The trouble comes at night, when his body is visited with the opposite impulse.
Ace rolls over for the nth time. Now, with the same insistence it had put him to sleep, his body pulls him awake.
He follows that pull with heavy, silent steps. He stretches his arms above his head and feels his back pop. He leaves his hat by his bunk, suddenly eager for the sea breeze through his hair.
He hesitates for a moment. Though he no longer gets cold, he considers wrapping something around his shoulders. His pillows and blankets still smell faintly of you. He looks at the bed.
No one is around to accuse him of something so treacherous as longing, but he still jerks his head away and pretends as if he hadn't spent much too long considering such a thing.
When he leaves the covered floors of the ship a bird - he cannot see where it come from - flutters down and nearly clips his head. It's not a seagull. He wonders for a moment, could it be?, but he quickly casts the thought away. Probably not.
A flash of light streaks across the sky, distracting him.
The worn railing is smooth, almost soft, beneath his fingertips when he leans over it. He folds his arms and lays his head in the cradle of his elbow.
He's been dealing with insomnia for the better part of a decade, either waking in the night or not sleeping at all. He'd see Luffy, sprawled out on the floor of the hideout, snot bubbles and not a care in the world. Even though his little brother didn't often notice his midnight absences, even when Ace would show up with prey in the morning, being unnoticed had not left him feeling unwanted.
Knowing someone was waiting staved off the loneliness. Becoming Whitebeard's son had been the best decision of his life. Yet tonight, he has no desire to disturb the sentries or wake a crew member for company.
A glossy black crow lands on the rail within easy reach. It cocks its head at him, warbling low in the back of its throat. Ace narrows his eyes at it, staring until the crow shrinks back, feather ruffling. This was the bird that had almost hit the back of his head, he's sure of it.
It looks almost sheepish at it places a little bag on the rail between them.
When he doesn't pick it up right away, the bird pushes it closer with one delicate claw, bobbing its head.
He picks it up slowly, keeping an eye on the bird. It tilts its head back and forth, clicking in the back of its throat. It takes him a moment to catch it in the dim light: the reflection of your Eye in the black marble of the crow's.
A grin showing teeth makes its way across his face.
"Hey," he said.
"Hi." Sound comes out of the crow's open beak like there is a microphone in its throat, like there's a snail in its belly. It doesn't move in synchrony with the words, but in an unsettling sort of pantomime.
Your voice is made ragged by the crow, but even with one word he knows it is yours. His grin goes lopsided and he weighs the pouch in his hand.
"Fancy seeing you here, pretty bird" he says.
The crow makes a hacking sort of cough he knows to be its version of your scoff coming from its mouth, but the bird rubs its beak against the gleaming wood of the ship, as though to take the sting from the sound.
"I do occasionally have good timing," it says with your voice.
He leans his head on his arms and looks directly at the bird. His gaze cuts through the animal in front of him and to you on the other side. One side of his bangs falls across his eye.
He has some idea of what you do, but not exactly. He knows it's dangerous, for a certain value of dangerous. You go to places he hasn't seen yet.
When he asks you where you are, you tell him about places you've been, never where you recently were. You don't relent even when he pries, whining low in his throat at your typical evasiveness. The crow speaks the rusted over name of some island he's never heard of.
When he asks you how training is going, the bird does some funny little movements that require it to over-correct when it nearly falls off the rail and imitates the sounds of bo staffs colliding.
The sentry peeks down from a higher level. Ace waves them off, feeling suddenly defensive. He wants to keep this moment a secret.
The bird freezes, looking up from where it's hunched over in an all too human kind of expression that reminds him of the last time you were a guest of the Whitebeard pirates and you'd raided the kitchens with him, sneaking around with unnecessary stealth, pressing back as if to hide him from every passing shadow until he was giggling into your shoulder, you scents mingling as you sweated under the hot atmosphere of a nearby volcanic island.
He snickers as the bird shakes its feathers flat again, giving an experimental little croak and finally straightening up when the noise doesn't immediately bring the sentry back running, looking out for his crewmate. The bird bumps his hand, as if to draw attention to it, and Ace draws his fingers through the soft, smooth feathers.
When you creakily ask him about his own recent adventures, you offer tidbits from the news to get him started, and it warms him in a very strange way to think you've been keeping an eye on him.
Eventually, the late night catches up and a comfortable quiet settles around the two of you.
Ace listens to the crow's low gargly kkqrk as it moves on its perch. He smirks to himself at the sight of the shining black bird shifting against the star scattered, velvet night.
"Are you going to open it?" you, finally ask. The bird pecks emphatically at the rail by the velvety bag.
All of the bird's expressive hopping and pecking for excited emphasis is so very un-human. It amuses him to imagine you puppetting the creature, instructing it to dip and flap for his benefit, even though he knows it is more akin to the bird itself interpreting your emotions.
Even so when the bird, looks at him, he can almost see the pleading look only you can pull off. Truly and delightfully uncanny.
He sighs as if it is all a chore, bobbing the pouch up and down on the string wound around his fingers. The crow follows with the movement with its beak and then its whole body.
"Should I?" he muses. "Suppose I save it-"
The bird all but stamps its little grey scaled foot in expressing your impatience and he laughs at you, at the odd humanity of the motion, as he finally does open the bag, drawstrings tangled in his fingers.
The contents of the pouch glitters, even in the starlight.
"How nice," he says, opening the mouth of the bag wide to reveal an array of crystals inside. "A good bit of shine."
All pirates of course liked things that gleamed. As did crows. The bird tilts its head between his face and the bits of rock in his hand.
He shifts them around in the bag. There are many colors.
"You should try one," it - you - says, shifting its weight. The bird stayed almost perfectly still, head tilted as it took in his incredulous expression.
"I am not dumb enough to eat rocks."
"I know."
The bird, peers up at him, blankly expectant.
Ace looks back in the bag and eventually plucks one of the crystals out. It's orange bleeding into purple like a storm ridden twilight and edged like the inside of a geode.
He glances once more at the bird, at you, but the creature just shuffles its wings to sit more primly against its body. Ace has never been very good at backing down from a dare.
Still he bites down very very carefully.
The crystal cracks apart under his teeth and spills sweetness on his tongue - plum and passion fruit, tart and bright and dark again, like the last touch of a setting sun. The outside is hard and cool like stone, but falls away to jelly by the time his bite sinks to the center.
He cannot help the way his eyes go slightly wide.
"Where are these from?" he asks.
"I made them," your voice slips from the bird's parted beak, almost shy. "The King of Kettles taught me," you add fondly.
He nibbles on more of the crystal, candy he now knows. Rock candy, he thinks as he grins to himself. He's not sure when the last time someone brought him candy of all things. Sugar is expensive no matter its source, and sometimes hard to find among the islands. Even syrups made from fruit would take a long time to make.
"Make sure to brush your teeth!" The crow interrupts his thoughts with a trumpeting, too loud, cackling sort of caw.
He stuffs a corner of the crystal into the crow's beak, interrupting the sound with a choking, fluttering, sputtering.
One thing about birds is that regardless of interpretation, they are sometimes not very good at managing their volume.
The crow hunches over, sending Ace as dirty a look as it can manage. You consider having it play dead, just to get back at him, but the shuffling attention of the sentries has you, the crow, freezing in his shadow.
You are reminded, somewhat guiltily, that your welcome on Whitebeard's territory does not give you unrestricted access, even for stolen moments like this.
But again, Ace waves off the inquisitive sentries, and they go, because he is the commander of the second division.
Ace can tell that they're curious, but this is for him, for now. In the morning if they or anyone asks, he will tell and laugh and tease. And it will be real.
This is real too. He feels protective of this moment, even if it is only a crow with your Eye as a glossy, curved reflection. It's his little secret.
It's not in his nature to keep secrets. Not for long. But for a while, he wants to keep this one. Not out of shame, not like the other, but because this one is warm like a glowing coal.
It is his, to follow the direction of a falling star and have a bird deliver him a gift and a conversation. You can't tell him where you are or where you're going, but you have frequent, funny little names that are familiar enough that you can tell him stories and he knows of whom you speak. The King of Kettles, Catfish, the Forlorn Maiden - all of them people he has never and likely will never meet.
Do you have a secret name for him, do you tell people about him? Something meant to safeguard him from the world?
Will there ever be a time when he isn't the secret? When that secret doesn't drag a darkness along behind it to cover those who know?
Another flash of light goes across the sky - blink and you'll miss it.
He sees it, you don't, going in the same direction as before. It flies away into the night.
Slowly, through the odd technicolor vision of the crow, you see a closed off, thoughtful expression take the place of the easy smile from before.
"What are you thinking of?"
The crow's hissed approximation of a whisper should be unsettling but it isn't.
Ace leans his arm on the railing and looks over at you, at the crow. The corner of his mouth lifts up, but he can't put enough of his heart into it to cover the melancholy.
He finds himself wishing for your scent. Sending a bird is one thing, but if he had not seen the Eye, he wouldn't have even been able to tell you it was you there, and not some well trained pet.
"I wish you were here," he sighs, reaching out to run a finger over the bird's smooth head feathers.
The bird ruffles its wings and says nothing. There is a long moment of nothing, long enough that Ace thinks of going back to bed. Sleep is finally reaching for him, he can feel the chill of it on his skin.
It's through the quiet of the dark that it finds him, a dull sound, almost at the edge of hearing.
He reaches out with his awareness, scanning the sea for any creature stupid enough to attack one of Whitebeard's fleet. A Sea King would be a bit of bedtime fun. Or it might be the distant sound of canons, although intuition tells him that isn't it.
The sound gets closer. It is not canons or the writhing movements of a deep water monster. It is more like someone shaking out sheets, but as regular as a sleeper's heart - the flap of wings.
He sees a shape, black on black, in the distance. It vanishes between one blink and the other, melting into the night. Another shimmer of light falls overhead while the wingbeats suddenly disappear.
Ace remembers owls and the way they hunt, swooping silently down upon their prey. He looks up to see if the watch is at all disturbed, and then to his left. The crow is gone.
The wingbeats return, now soft and so close. Right below him. He looks over the rail and a familiar face rises up to meet him.
This crow upon which you sit is longer than him if he were to lay down, feet and fingers pointed as far as they would go. It drifts upon the shallow eddy stirred up by the ship, drifting alongside.
"Hello," you say. You're smiling. Teasing snatches of scent get caught in the sea breeze.
From behind, the crow that had been your mouthpiece swoops down upon your shoulder.
"Willful thing," you say to it.
It croaks, head bobbing cheekily.
"Hi," he says. His heart feels like it's soaring, light alongside you, every whoosh of blood a wingbeat.
"I heard you," you say, nudging the crow's chest with your finger.
"You do occasionally have good timing," he says, grinning wide.
The enormous bird flaps a few times, slowly, up to the level of the rail.
He catches you when you slide over the side of the ship and step onto the deck. He never feels the flames when they come from him, but your palm sliding over his makes him feel like he's burning.
"I think I'm going to be in trouble with your Father," you say, shrugging a shoulder, "for the bird."
It croaks again, and then caws, as if to prove a point. The both of you wince.
"I'll tell him you came for me," Ace replies. He doesn't bother to keep quiet now, but that's alright. The bag of sweets you brought him dangles around his wrist like a charm.
You're a little breathless when you look at him. He can see stars reflected in your eyes.
"Whenever you want me."
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hansolsaries · 2 years
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would you love me now?
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pairing: idol!joshua hong x exbestfriend!reader
genre: slight angst, fluff, sO much pining, mainly just joshua in his silly thoughts
summary: when joshua is back in his hometown for tour, he reminisces on what used to be, what he used to have, and if it was too late to bring back what used to be.
a/n: this is heavily based off joshua bassett’s new song ‘would you love me now?’ and it got me inspired to write about sir joshua hong himself. i hope you enjoy my very first fic :”) here’s to many more!
The moment Joshua landed back in his hometown, the only thing he felt was joy. Joy because being back in LA meant seeing his family, and because this time his second family would be with him as well. He was confused to say the least because the second Joshua stepped through his childhood bedroom door, all he could feel was sadness. Happiness is what he felt merely a couple minutes ago when he hugged his mom and dad after not seeing them in so long, but as soon as he opened his door, it all shifted. He looked around at what used to be his home, and what used to bring him so much comfort yet something was still missing. After putting his stuff down, he took a look around the room, noticing nothing much has changed since his departure to Korea. Walking towards his closet door, he couldn’t help but notice a pair of his old beat up Converse shoes. He chuckled at the sight before he picked them up.
It was Joshua’s first day at his new school, he was nervous to say the least. He swears he double-tied his shoes at least twice before he even stepped foot outside of his mom’s car. There would be no tripping and falling anywhere at his new high school, plus Converse have such long laces that he never understood the reasoning for. 
He walked into the school office to pick up his schedule before someone came up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. “Hey, you’re the new kid right? Joshua?” a voice behind him asked
Joshua turned around and nodded to confirm, “Yeah I am, but wouldn’t it be funny if I wasn’t and you just tapped a random kid’s shoulder who happened to be in the office.” He replied to the person in front of him
“Oh god if you weren’t that whole exchange would have gone terrible, but for your information, I’m Y/N your assigned tour guide for the week,” You responded 
He smiled before putting his hand out for you to shake, “Well it’s nice to meet you Y/N. I’m looking forward to you being my tour guide for the week, and hopefully be my friend for the weeks after that?” Joshua spoke
You took his hand and shook it before you looked down and noticed his shoes, “Since you have such good taste in shoes and decided to match with me, I might have to consider that last offer Joshua,” You replied as you looked back at him and smiled back
Thinking back on that memory, Joshua realized how much he missed you, after all it had been years since he’s seen you let alone spoken to you. You used to be his best friend and someone he could depend on for anything and the fact you slipped away from him was something that broke his heart. Though as sad as he can be about your guys’ situation, losing contact was something that was both your faults. Before he left, you two promised each other you would keep in touch. As the years flew by, the contact between the two of you had slimmed. It went from texting daily, sending letters every month to a yearly happy birthday greeting and then suddenly it all went away. You both couldn’t blame each other, you were both on different tracks of life and it gets a hold of you. It was a part of growing up and it was the risk that you and Joshua took and were both expected to understand. Joshua looked around his room one more time before deciding he can’t keep dwelling on the past when he should be focused on where he was right now. He was back home with his family, it’s not something he’s able to say everyday so he should be grateful right?
It was Joshua and the team’s free day before the concert so they decided to let him be their tour guide. There were so many random requests from his fellow members from going to In n Out as requested by Soonyoung, the infamous Melrose Trading Post from a handful of members to find clothes and trinkets, and some sort of museum per request of Minghao. Joshua’s itinerary was set on going to the museum first, having recommended the museum he went to as a kid for many field trips called the Getty. Being the LA native and trusted tour guide of the day, Joshua couldn’t help but smile thinking of his old friend who was his tour guide at one point as well.
“Hyung! It’s so pretty here in LA! I can’t believe you grew up here,” Chan spoke as he looked around the garden at the Getty
Joshua couldn’t help but chuckle, “Yeah but only some parts of it are pretty to be honest,” he responded as he looked around also. He couldn’t help but think about how the only pretty thing he wanted to see in LA was you.
After their museum and garden escapades, the group headed to the Melrose Trading Post. As they sat in the car, Joshua couldn’t help but think about you again. They were passing by Pasadena, which made him wonder if you were still nearby, or if you were even still in LA. The hour-long car ride (thanks to LA traffic) consisted of Joshua getting into his head even with the loud background noise that were his friends. He thought about you and wondered if you would even want to see him now that he was back for a while. If he did show up to see you again, would you let him in? All he wanted to do was see you and pick off where you guys left off. You guys were best friends, but Joshua would be lying to himself if he didn’t wish you guys had been more than just that. He took out his wallet and pulled out a folded piece of paper it seemed. It was from you, the last letter he had ever received from you before all communication between the two of you had been cut off. Maybe it had been his fault though, he responded to your letter but he feels like he had said something wrong.
You were conflicted. It was the time of the month where you were supposed to send Joshua a letter and you knew it had to be sent today so it would be there in time for when you got yours also. The main problem was you had two different letters and you didn’t know which one to give him. One of them was just the same old routine letter where you talked about each other's months and gave updates on each other's lives. The other one meanwhile, it was about you and how you felt about him. Pining over a guy who was thousands of miles away wasn’t ideal, but falling in love with your best friend might have been worse. You sealed both letters and let fate decide, after all it wasn’t like you were gonna see him anytime soon. Whatever happens will happen. You mixed up the letters and picked one at random to send out, only time will tell now. 
Joshua wished he was younger again, after their day out in LA, he couldn’t help but reminisce about the days he would spend exploring with you. Why was it so difficult to get you off his mind when he was in LA? When he was in Korea he used to be able to go days without thinking of you. He’s convinced it’s because this city was full of memories with you. All he can think about is you and how maybe, things would’ve played out differently if he had changed the things he did. Suddenly his phone buzzed and when he looked at it, he swore his heart was going to jump out of his chest
Y/N <3
hey stranger
your mom told me you were back in town
If you could count how many times Joshua reread that message and pinched himself, you would probably be here for a while. You could say he was very much in disbelief. He asked himself so many questions, he genuinely thinks he manifested you back. Realistically speaking though, his mom treated you like her child also, so of course she told you that he was in town. 
Y/N <3
shua? 
i know you read my message
you literally have your read receipts on LOL
Seeing that made his cheeks turn red, he was so glad the other members couldn’t see him right now because he knew they would not hesitate on clowning on him. He quickly shook himself out of it before he decided to reply back.
shushua :3
HI sorry i swear i wasn’t trying to ghost you on purpose
i was just in disbelief you texted me thats all
Y/N <3
woooow just cause you think you’re a hotshot celeb now :0
of course i texted you, i haven’t seen my best friend in years
i’m not gonna skip out on meeting up with you again
He smiled after seeing your response, you were still the same teasing Y/N he knew before he left for Korea. He had never felt a bigger weight fall off his shoulders once he started talking to you again.
You guys texted each other throughout that whole day, cracking jokes and catching up, even though Joshua was out and about in town with his fellow members. Though it wasn’t until you texted him that he found out his mom invited you to the dinner at his house tonight with the members as well. Upon knowing what was going on tonight, he couldn’t help but feel the butterflies he used to feel when he was younger again. You truly brought him to a different light and whenever you were around he always felt lighter. So yes, he was so incredibly nervous to see you again but there was no way he could prepare to see you. All he could do now was hope everything goes well, and also watch Soonyoung and Seungkwan terrorize the other members at In n Out with the kid’s meal stickers.
The moon was out and dinner was in full swing. Joshua’s parents had decided on grilling meat for the night and considering they were feeding over a dozen boys, it was the most efficient way to feed them. Y/N had been running late from what Joshua knew, at least from their texts that what he assumed. The night had fully started and the 12 boys were causing a ruckus in the Hong household, mainly taking pictures of all of Joshua’s childhood photos. Usually this would be when Joshua would shoo them away and stop them, but he was too nervous and he was obviously thinking about you. You would be here soon and he didn’t know what to think, he couldn’t think actually. 
Suddenly the doorbell rang and Joshua had to snap himself back into reality. He walked towards the door and opened it. There you were in all your glory. Joshua thought you had gotten prettier, if that was even possible. Before he could say anything, you looked behind him, which made him look behind himself also and there stood his 12 nosy friends.
“Hey Josh, isn't that the girl you’ve been simping about like all day to-” Seungkwan spoke before Vernon covered his mouth and smiled at the almost couple in front of them.
“Sorry about him, he tends to talk when he isn’t supposed to,” Seungcheol spoke before shooing the members away off to the backyard, “We’ll give you guys some space and introduce ourselves later,” He added before they all disappeared into the backyard.
Joshua looked back at you and awkwardly smiled, “Uhh, sorry about them. They’re always like this, don’t worry I’ll tell them off later,”
You chuckled, “It’s all good Shua, I’m just glad to see you again,” you replied as you looked at him, “Also did you get even taller? This is actually not fair at all,” you added, pouting a bit
The taller boy smiled at you, “Don’t worry I’ll let you catch up one day,” he replied before hearing a loud crash coming from behind him. He assumed it was definitely one of the boys doing something, “It’s kinda loud around here, do you wanna catch up outside?” he asked 
You nodded and agreed with him, the 12 boys were a bit loud, but a part of you was incredibly nervous to be alone with Joshua again after years of not talking. The two of you were walking the same path you would walk all the time when you were younger, the only difference is that you two weren’t talking like how you used to. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, the thing with Joshua and you was that nothing would ever be uncomfortable or awkward. You always brought the aura of calm and comfortableness to each other. 
It was you who decided to break the silence, “I missed you a lot you know,” you said as you looked at him. You wondered what was going on in his mind, did he miss you too or what if it was all one sided?
“I missed you more Y/N, you don’t even know,” He replied looking back at you before he looked back down, “I was literally thinking about you ever since I landed back. What happened to us? Why did we stop talking?” He asked
You took his hand to stop him from walking, “You know what happened Shua, life happened. You grew up and I grew up too. It happens and it’s okay, all that matters now is that we’re here again,” You replied as you rubbed his hand in reassurance, something you always did for each other when you knew times were getting tough
Joshua smiled at you, seeing you never forgot about the small things you guys would do for each other, “I would’ve stayed for you, y’know that right?” he spoke softly
“I know Shua, if I asked you to fly away with me you would. That’s exactly why I pushed you to go. We wouldn’t be where we are now if it wasn’t for you going. We grew together and we’re able to grow on our own also,” you replied, “Also, I told you, if it was meant to be it would work out in the end. Look where we are now,” you spoke
“When I was in Korea, I would always wonder if I showed up at your door, would you have loved me then? But since I never did that, I want to ask now,” Joshua said before fully turning to you and intertwining his hand with yours, “Would you love me now?”
You chuckled at his question, “Are you serious right now Shua? If I didn’t, why would I be here right now?,” you replied before letting go of his hand and putting your hand on his cheek, “Plus you can’t ask me would I love you, because I’ve always loved you,” you spoke before giving him a kiss on the cheek
Joshua frowned, “I wait years for you to kiss me and you miss?” he said 
“Yeah yeah whatever Hong, I don’t kiss people on the first date, or whatever you call this,” you replied jokingly, “Now hurry up I’m trying to see your family, and also meet your friends,” you added as you intertwine your hands with his again before beginning to walk back into the direction you came from
“Whatever you say Y/N,” he replied with a smile on his face. Maybe he had been overthinking the whole day, and maybe he did manifest you. But if there was one constant in his life, it would always be you.
bonus! y/n’s letter that got sent/the one he keeps in his wallet!
Dear Shua,
This letter is gonna be a little bit different from previous letters. I’m just gonna say it honestly because there’s no point in stopping myself in a letter.
I like you Joshua, like a lot. Maybe I should’ve said something before you left, but I’m sure if I did you would’ve never left.
If you don’t feel the same way I totally understand, and I hope everything I said doesn’t affect our friendship because truly it is something I treasure dear to my heart. If I miraculously do have a chance with you, I’ll explain my logic of confessing to you through a letter. There is no logic, you know how chaotic I am. The thought of knowing how I feel for you and the distance between us is something I know that made me want to tell you.
Just know that whatever distance there is between us, my heart belongs to you. From the second I made a comment about your stupid Converse the day we met, to the day you left, I knew you were someone special to me. I hope the time we’re spending apart helps us grow into the people we want to be, and prepare us for whatever journey we’re headed towards.
Yours always,
Y/N <3
p.s. you only had a 50% of getting this letter. i let fate decide.
p.p.s. i really hope you like me back or else this letter is gonna be so silly
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