#it came free with my fucking seizures like??

[clarabow-mp3]

hate when epilepsy trials are like "oh you can't participate in this trial if you have depression or anxiety" bitch what epileptic person doesn't have anxiety

#it came free with my fucking seizures like?? #i've been hyperaware of the possibility of random sudden death since i was 14 so yeah i'm a little anxious sometimes. sorry. #actually epileptic

[youwillfindilluminating]

So that word doc is such a good idea! Do you have anymore recs for protective!Eddie pls?! I just love like. Steve taking care of everyone then Eddie taking care of Steve! Even if it’s just like understanding he’s been through some shit too 😭😭 (thank you for the other fic rec too!)

Okay so! This is what I came up with, but it's more along the lines of Steve whump/hurt x comfort rather than Eddie protecting/defending specifically, because apparently there just isn't too much of that out there that I've read!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40897005 home to you, 3.5k.

This fic is fucking god-tier hurt/comfort, in my opinion. Steve gets in a fight with his parents, has a concussion, tries to drive away but hits the mailbox, calls Dustin on the walkie, then Eddie comes to get him. I love this because it’s not overly mushy or OOC, it’s just good.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40979889  A Family is Built, not Born. 3.7k.

After Steve gets in a fight with his dad, he heads over to Eddie’s trailer. Eddie isn’t home yet, but Wayne talks with him, then Eddie comes home and it’s all h/c from there, babyyyy!

Whirlpool Of Forget-Me-Nots - Anonymous - Stranger Things (TV 2016) [Archive of Our Own] 5k

Eddie and Steve start sleeping (actually sleeping) together because of bad dreams. There's a scene where Eddie comforts Steve after a nightmare. This is just a nice read in general.

my hands are tied - lesbianrobin - Stranger Things (TV 2016) [Archive of Our Own] 1.5k

Eddie asks to tie Steve up during sex and it gives Steve a panic attack because of the Russian stuff. Immediately turns into h/c.

i'm right up the road - birthdaycandles - Stranger Things (TV 2016) [Archive of Our Own] 4.6k

A short AU fic that’s Steddie if you squint. Steve has seizures and is at Max’s place and she’s read up on what to do when they happen, but she still sees Eddie outside and calls for his help. The only way Steve and Eddie have met before is in high school or for drug deals.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41191176 Anyplace is Paradise, 2k.

Steve’s dad dies and Eddie is there for him. Established relationship. (Ignore the Elvis slander at the end. 😅)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40566510 ain’t going nowhere, 2k.

I’m going to sneak my fic in here because apparently I’m that person. This is just fluffy sickfic where Eddie takes care of Steve and they watch Top Gun.

That’s all I could come up with for now. If people have other similar recs they want to add to the post, feel free! 💖

#steddie #steddie recs #steve harrington whump #hurt x comfort

[swag696942069]

The Blissful Paradise of a High

Hi, so this is ass. Like, genuinely. I wrote it when I didn't have wifi for two weeks, but this took me two days to write, and its 5167 words 😭 can you tell how bored I was? Any who, it's a Euphoria inspired oneshot that may or may not be turned into an actual fic. I make no promises. Thanks to @transdorcasmeadows for the help with it.

Tw: drug addiction, drug deal(s), self harm, suicide jokes, depictions of drug overdose, depictions of drug relapse, mentions of death (brief), cursing, fighting (they just like, yell at each other, but I know that can still be triggering)

James had made a lot of mistakes in the short seventeen years he had been on this earth.

His biggest one, was the one that ended him up in this place to begin with.

James was currently about to complete his 60th day in rehab, for his 'drug addiction' as his mother, friends, and doctors have told him repeatedly over the past few month.

James doesn't remember exactly what had happend the night of his overdose. No one had told him the full story no matter how many times he'd asked.

All he knew was, he was home alone, Lily got home, heard weird noises coming from his room, and when she went to go check on him, she found James facedown in the middle of the room, in the midst of a seizure, that was caused due to the overdose.

James remembers waking up in his hospital room with, his mom, Lily, and Peter asleep in chairs around his bed.

James remembers feeling a surge of guilt when he realized what was going on.

He didn't remember what happend, but he knew it had to be bad, by the way his mom immediately burst into tears when he shook her awake, and the way she wrapped her arms around his in a bone crushing hug, and refused to let go, even after Lily had ran to get the doctor.

Immediately after he was released, he was taken to a rehab center in the next town over. He was still in his hospital gown.

Peter, and Lily, rode with him and his mom on the way to the clinic, and James remembers singing along to some random song that he didn't remember memorizing the lyrics to, to try and get his friends to laugh, smile, do anything besides silently cry in the backseat.

James had one last group therapy session to go to and then he was home free.

James sat down in his normal seat, and did what he always did during group therapy, stay quiet, and whenever someone looked at him pretending he was doing what he was supposed to.

At the end of the session, the leader of the group, came up to him and gave him a hug, "We're so proud of you James. You've worked so hard. And I know in my heart you'll be able to over come anything after this."

James thought this woman was really fucking stupid. If she had been doing her job, she would be able to tell that half the people here were still doing drugs. Including him. James was high right now for Christ sakes!

James smiled at her, "Thank you, Susan. I really don't know what I would've done without this place. I probably would be curled up in a ditch somewhere by now." James thought that that wasn't such a bad idea actually. Curling up in a nice little ditch didn't seem that bad compared to most things.

She smiled at him again, "I'm just so happy for you James. This is the start of the rest of your life! And if you even feel like using ever again, you just look at this chip," She handed him a fucking drug addict anonymous chip, "and know that you can overcome even the strongest of urges!"

James had never wanted to hit someone so badly in his life before. How is looking at a fucking piece of plastic supposed to stop him from getting high?!

James smiles at her again, "Thank you Susan." He brought her in for another hug. "Thanks for everything." Fucking bitch.

James was escorted out of the building, he saw Lily and his mom parked outside of the facility.

"James!" Lily yelled as soon as she saw him. They both started running, and ended up almost knocking each other down when they met in the middle, wrapping each other up in a hug. "I've really missed you."

"I've missed you too, Lils." James smiled.

When they pulled away, James looked up and smiled at his mom, who was still standing by the car. James threw his arms up in the air, as if to say 'I did it!' His mom looked like she'd aged ten years, she had more wrinkles, her hair was beginning to grey, and she seemed really tired, but when she smiled back at him, James knew it was still his mom there.

On the car ride home, he sat in the back, letting Lily have the front seat, James always preferred the back, made it harder for people to notice how red his eyes were, his mom kept saying something about how proud she was of him, and how this was a good thing, and that this was a new chapter for him. James smiled and nodded along, not really listening to a word she said, too busy looking out the window, he saw a boy on a bike pass them, and for some reason, James couldn't look away, his high was coming down, it had been a few hours since he took anything.

After James put his bags away in his room he went back out into the kitchen and saw his mom sitting at the counter, busily typing away at something on her computer.

"Hey, so I was think of going out, to see some people." He said, trying to sound casual.

"What people?" She asked, not looking up from her computer.

"Just some friends." He said, opening up the fridge and pulling out the jug of orange juice.

When James turned around he was met with the sight of his mother staring at him suspiciously, "What friends? People I know?"

James knew what she meant by that question, were they going to be people he could get drugs from.

"I was thinking about going to see Marls and Mary, maybe Peter, I don't know. I just haven't seen any of them in so long and I," James knew just how to get what he wanted. "I just miss them so much," he let his voice crack a little and let a small tear run down his face, one that he dramatically wiped off, "and I just feel so guilty. They must've been so worried and I want them to know that I'm okay now. That I'm better. Cause," another tear, "I really am mom. I'm better. And I'm just so sorry for everything. I don't know what I was thinking. I was just-" he knew it was a dick move but, "I just miss dad so much."

That was it. That's what really sold it for his mom. "Oh, Baby." She got up and wrapped her arms around him as he cried. "I miss him too. Of course you can go see your friends."

"Really?" He asked, wiping away the fake tears.

"Of course, Baby. Just be back in time for dinner, okay?" She said, wiping away the rest of his tears.

"Of course, mom." He kissed her cheek. "Love you."

"I love you too."

James knew it was wrong to lie to his mom like that, but she would've never let him go if he told her where he was really going.

The Bottom was a convenience store a few blocks away from where James lived. It was run by these two brothers, Frank, and Neville. Frank was a bit of a dumbass, James figured it was all the drugs he did that fried the last of his remaining brain cells. Neville was a bit scary if James was being honest, he was like, twelve, and he knew more about drugs than anyone James had ever met, even more than Frank, and he was his dealer.

When James got to The Bottom, he saw Frank sitting outside on what looked like a old, rained on, couch that was outside for some fucking reason. "What's good, man?" James asked as he walked up to Frank.

"Wassup, man. How've you been? Heard you was in rehab?"

"Yeah, just got out a few hours ago."

"Oh no shit? How was it?"

"Well, ever since I gave my life over to my Lord and savior, Jesus Christ, things have been, like, really good." James joked.

Frank obviously missed the punchline. "Oh, that's what's up."

"Dude, Frank, I'm fuckin with you." James laughed.

Frank put his hands up in defense, "Shit man, I don't judge."

"But for real, is Nev in the back?"

Frank gave him a confused look, "What, are you serious? Didn't chu just get outta rehab?"

"What? You think just cause I went to rehab, I stayed clean?" James said with a raised brow, looking around just to make sure no one was around to see this exchange happen.

"Well, ain't that the point?"

"Yeah, well," James started walking backwards into the store, "the world's coming to an end, and I haven't even finished high school yet." James had his hands up as he spun around and made his way fully into the store.

James went to the back of the store, where the fridges are and opened an empty one.

"Hey." James said upon entering and seeing Neville eating a bowl of cereal.

Neville looked up with a dumbstruck, expression on his face, like he'd just seem a ghost, "I thought you were fucking dead."

"What the fuck? Why?" James asked with a look of pure confusion on his face.

"I don't know? That's just what people be sayin and shit."

"Whatever. Got anything?"

"Yeah, yeah." Neville put his bowl of cereal down and opened up a box and pulled out some of James regular. "Wanna try anything new?"

"Like what?" James asked, as he finished putting the narcotics in his pocket.

Neville pulled out two little pills that looked like they could be ecstacy "We got, 2C-T-2, 2C-T-7, and 5-MeO-DIPT."

James looked at him blankly, "I'm sorry, I have zero fucking idea what you just said."

Neville waved him off, "It doesn't matter. But this shit is fucking lit."

James looked down at the little pill in Neville's hand, "What is it?"

"N-diisopropyl-5-methoxytryptamine. It's a fast-acting psychedelic. Got some similarities to LSD, but with, like, key differences. Not as visual and shit, but definitely a sense distorter." Neville explained.

James shrugged, still not fully understanding anything that was just said to him, "Yeah, okay." he said anyway, he was willing to try most anything once.

"That'll be 120."

"Uh, Frank said he spot me." James said, already walking away.

"Frankie don't spot nobody." Neville said, never buying into James's shit.

"Well you should go ask him. He said it was a post-rehab discount." He lied.

"I will go ask him, cause I know you're full of shit." Neville said as James walked the rest of the way out the backdoor and into the alley behind the store.

James saw Frank and Barty Crouch jr, doing a drug deal. James politely looked away, as anyone should when they encountered such a thing. You wouldn't want someone staring at you as you do a drug deal, would you?

Barty got into his car and began to drive away, "Ayo! I do it for Potter!" He yelled as he drove past James.

James never really had any sort of real problem with Barty. There was that time that he tried to kiss him, drunk at a party without his consent in freshman year, but besides that they barely knew each other.

James decided to just wander around for a while before heading home, that was until he got a spam all text from Sirius Tonks, saying that there was gonna be a party at Evan Rosier's house in a few hours.

And that gave James the, brilliant idea, to 'pre-game' with all the drugs he had on him, except for the new shit Neville gave him, James decided to save that for later.

James didn't really know Evan Rosier all that well, he knew that he was Barty Crouch Jr's best friend, and that he and Mary had been going out for a little while, this summer. He heard that from Lily on the drive back home, who heard it from Peter, who heard it from Marlene, who heard it from Mary herself.

Now, it was currently six p.m. the party didn't start until ten, and James knew he had to be home for dinner or else his mom would send out a search party, but, James was also really fucking high. Maybe taking all those drugs at once wasn't such a good idea when he had to be home soon.

James somehow made it home without any real problems, he had gotten a little lost on the way, but James figured it was probably just because he hadn't been home in a few months and he just forgot which way to go.

James stumbled in the house through the back door, his mom was standing in the kitchen.

"Where have you been?" She asked.

"I was at Mary's." He lied, making his way down the hall to his room.

His mom followed him, "No you weren't. You're high right now! Aren't you?"

James rolled his eyes. "I'm not high mom. I was at Mary's."

"You're lying. You're always lying, James! Just tell me the truth!" She was beginning to yell.

She never used to yell.

"I'm telling you I was at Mary's!"

"No you weren't!"

"If you don't believe me call her! Call her and ask her if I was there!"

"You know what? I will, cause I don't trust you anymore, James. I don't." She had tears welling up in her eyes.

"Mom." James said sadly, walking up to her.

She shook her head and backed away. "I can't trust you anymore James. I never used to have to worry like this."

"You don't-" James let out a breath, "You don't have to worry mom. I'm fine. I'm not lying, I was at Mary's."

His mom got a stern look on her face, "I need you to pee in a cup."

"What? You wanna drug test me?!" He was starting to get really fucking angry.

"I can't trust you James!" She yelled, trying so desperately to sound stern.

"I just fucking peed! I can't take the drug test if I just fucking peed!"

"James you have to take it! It's not an option."

"How do you expect me to take it if I just fucking peed!?" James was speed walking into his room. James went to go shut his door and it slammed harder than he intended it to.

"Don't slam any doors in my house!" He heard his mom say on the other side of the door.

"It was an accident." He said, sitting down against it so his mom couldn't open it. James had noticed when he got home earlier that his door no longer had a lock.

"You gotta take the test, James."

"I just fucking peed!" He laughed out of frustration.

"Fine! Slam another door!" And James heard her walk away.

Now, theres a few ways to fake a drug test. You could do what James had done with every other drug test he'd taken in the past two months, and get a sober person to pee in the cup for him. But, since most at home drug test had heat sensory, it has to be warm. And since James was sure his mom was going to stand in the bathroom while he did it, he couldn't really do the sink trick. So he had to get it fresh.

James snuck out his bedroom window and hauled ass down the street, making his way to Peter's house.

James knocked on the door and Peter opened it. "Hey, James." He said, wrapping his arms around him.

"Hey." James said, hugging him back. James saw Marlene and Mary sitting at the kitchen table a little bit away.

"What're you doing here?" Peter asked when they pulled apart.

James gave him a desperate look. "I need you to..."

"What?" Not getting it.

"No, like I'm serious, Pete."

"What?" Still not getting it.

James rolled his eyes and leaned in and whispered into Peter's ear.

When he pulled away, Peter looked at him with a look of anger and annoyance, and, sadness. "Are you serious?"

"Please, Peter." James whispered. He was really fucking desperate.

Peter sighed, defeated. "Okay." And he walked upstairs.

"Hey Jamie!" Marlene said, after Peter began to walk upstairs.

James put on a smile. "Hey Marls, Mary."

"Hey, Jamesie." Mary said with a small smile.

James actually really loved Mary. Most people though really low of her, but she was actually really sweet.

"You going to Rosier's party tonight?" Marlene asked.

Mary smacked her in the arm and gave her a look.

"Uh, I don't know. Maybe."

"You should. Sirius is going and Fabian's gonna be there, so you know theres gonna be a fight." Marlene said with a smirk.

Sirius Tonks was Mary's best friend. He had been going out with Fabian Prewitt for a little over a year. They fought non stop and had broken up a zillion times.

"Nuh-uh, Siri and Fab broke up. Sirius says he's so over him." Mary informed.

"Yeah but he says that everytime." Marlene rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, well he says this time is different." Mary did her best to defend her best friend to her other best friend.

James didn't really know all that much about Sirius. He had moved to town when they were freshmen, after his parents died or something and he like, lived with his older cousin? James wasn't sure. The only time they ever even actually spoke was when they both so happened to be hanging out with the same group of people, and even then it was usually just pleasantries.

"Whatever. The party's still gonna rock." Marlene said with a smile as Peter came back downstairs and slyly handed James the medicine bottle filled with pee.

"Heres that book you needed." Peter handed him some random book that James didn't recognize from the cover.

"Thanks Pete." He whispered to him.

"Whatever." He mumbled, looking away from him.

"I'll see you guys later!" He called out before leaving. He heard a chorus of 'bye's' as he left.

James ran back home, snuck back in through his window, snorted some more coke and then called out to his mom that he was ready to pee. "Mom! I gotta pee!"

Once inside the bathroom his mom handed him the cup.

"I wish we could do this in a way that didn't invade my privacy." James said holding the cup in the air with a sad expression on his face, one that he hoped would get his mom to feel bad enough to leave the room.

But his mom didn't budge. "You lost your right to privacy when you overdosed." She said.

James sighed, knowing that he wasn't going to win this one, and turned to the toilet.

His mom at least turned around, as to not physically watch him pee, which James was very grateful for. It would've been really hard to explain why he was peeing out of his jacket sleeve.

James knew how to do this correctly. Drop a little bit in the toilet so his mom thinks he's actually peeing, then just pour the rest in the cup.

"Do you know how worried you made everyone? And to have Lily, be the one who found you... the girl who sees you as a brother..."

James's eyes filled with tears, "Can we, not talk about that right now, mom." He asked, taking in shallow breaths to try and stop himself from crying even more. James hated himself for it having to have been Lily, who found him. He hated himself anyway, but he could only imagine what must've went through Lily's brain when she found him. Face down. Basically choking on his own vomit. As he seized out of control.

Once James was finished pouring the pee into the cub, he slid the medicine bottle back into his pocket and turned around, placed the pee filled cup on the counter, and turned to wash his hands as his mom put the sticks into it.

After about a minute, the result came in to show that it was clean.

"I told you I was at Mary's." James whispered.

"I know, baby. I'm sorry." His mom said quietly, wrapping her arm around him.

"It's okay, Mom...." an idea. "Can I stay over at Peter's tonight?" He asked as they pulled away.

"That's fine, James. Just, grab some dinner before you go?"

"Yeah. Thanks, mom. Love you." He said with a small smile.

"I love you too, Baby."

He made his way back out into the kitchen, took a few bites of whatever the hell his mom made, and was back out the door.

James was walking to the party cause he didn't have his license, cause he was smart enough to know that addicts shouldn't drive, and he had this rule where he doesn't skate and smoke cause like.... James got a flash of memories of him attempting to skate and immediately eating shit.... its fucking dangerous.

He was walking past The Bottom when a car started driving really slowly behind him.

"What the fuck? Is that James?!" He heard a voice say from inside the car.

"Holy shit! I thought he died!" Another voice said, making James frown.

"Oh god I hate ghosts." James recognized the voice of Marlene say that.

"Yo, Casper!" James turned around at that. "Need a ride?"

James walked up to the car and saw, Sirius Tonks, Dorcas Meadowes, Marlene McKinnon and Pandora Rosier in it. "Why thank you." He said when he approached the car, hopping in the back seat when Pandora moved over to the middle.

On the car ride to the party, Marlene vaped, Sirius and Dorcas fought over directions, and Pandora sang along to the song on the radio, as James layed his head on the window, he could've sworn he saw the same biker from before, ride up to the motel on 36.

"I telling you it's to the left!" Dorcas said, looking at her phone, which had the map pulled up.

"I've been to Evan's house a million times! I think I know where the fuck I'm going!" Sirius bit back.

"Why don't you ask Pandora? Since she, like, lives there?" Marlene said, already baked as fuck.

All eyes in the car turned to Pandora.

"I don't live with Evan." She said with a ditsy expression on her face.

"But he's your brother?" Dorcas said confused.

"Yeah, but he lives there with our mom, and I live with my dad. I have no fucking idea where we're going."

James was wondering why she was in the car with them if she lives with Rosier. Turns out he was wrong.

"Oh." Marlene said. "My bad. Go back to fighting I guess."

"We wouldn't be fighting if Sirius would just listen to me when I told them where to go!" Dorcas said angrily.

"And if you would shut up and let me drive we would already be there by now!" The fighting continued until they finally arrived at the party.

"Hey Marls, wheres Mary? I thought she would've been with you?" James asked as they walked up to the house.

Rosier was fucking loaded! You could tell by the size of his house alone.

"Oh, uh, Rosier came and picked her up a little while after you left." Marlene said, not really paying attention to James.

"Ah. Well. I'm gonna go... walk around. I'll see you," he put his hand up to his forehead in a solution, "later." And walked off.

James wandered the party for a little bit. At some point he made his way upstairs to the bathroom, and crushed up the pill he got from Neville earlier that night, and snorted it.

"Ffffuuck." James said, eyes wide. He blinked, his eyes unfocused, as he slowly shook his head, leaning against the wall for support. His vision was blurry, and spotty, no matter how often he blinked or rubbed at his eyes, the music and voices outside the bathroom door were fading in and out in an echo, like he was underwater and in the sky at the same time.

He felt fucking great.

James didn't know what was in that thing, but whatever it was, he wanted more of it.

James attempted to walk out of the bathroom. He kept tripping over nothing, and ended up having to lean his whole body against the wall to be able to walk without almost falling over on his face.

James saw Mary and Evan Rosier sitting next to each other on the staircase, talking quietly to each other as he walked by, still leaning, heavily, on the wall beside him.

James made it downstairs and out to the backyard, where he found Frank, sitting by the pool.

"Yo man, you owe me 120" Frank said when James sat down next to him.

James smiled sheepishly at him, "Shit man, I forgot."

"It's alright, but I got a business to run, y'know? Can't be givin out handouts."

"I- I know man, I'm sorry. I'll get it to you later. You know I will."

"Yeah, alright." Silence settled between them for a few minutes before Frank broke it again. "Man, I don't know what kind of fucked up shit you been through, and I don't know how to help. But, what I do know, is drugs, it ain't it, man."

James bit the inside of his cheek before he spoke, "Y'know, when I was, like, thirteen, my dad died."

"Is that it?" Frank asked. Genuinely asking, not saying it in some snarky way.

"If only it was that easy." James was nodding his head absentmindedly.

James genuinely didn't know why he started doing drugs. He just knew that they made him feel better when he did them. So why would he stop?

Frank shook his head. "Shit, man..."

James nodded along, "Yeah. Shit, man."

James then heard screaming coming from inside the house and looked over to see, practically everyone who was there, gathering around the kitchen. And, since James was always a very curious person, he got up, and made his way to the kitchen.

Upon entering he saw Marlene and walked over. "What's going on?" He asked.

"Bro! Some dude just tried to kill himself!" Marlene said with wide, glazed over eyes, obviously very high.

"What?" James was sure he heard that wrong, but, then again, this was a high school party.

"Yeah dude it was crazy! Barty came in, yellin, and told everyone to get outta the kitchen, but that guy wouldn't leave so Barty kept yelling and then the guy pulled out a knife and, like, slit his wrist or something. It was crazy!" Marlene took another hit of her vape and blew the smoke out next to James's head.

"Oh, wow. Uh, alright. I think I'm gonna head out." James said, beginning to walk away. He wanted to find that guy and make sure he was alright.

"You sure? I'm sure Sirius can drive you home once hes done fuckin that guy in the pool."

James didn't have time to unpack all of this tonight, so he stuck with the first problem. "I'm good, thanks, Marls. I'll see you later." He was already halfway acrossed the room.

"K, bye! Love you!!!" She called out to him as he was walking out the front door.

Once outside, James looked around, trying to find the suicidal kid Marlene was talking about.

He saw a guy standing next to a bike, with blood dripping down his arm and assumed that must be the guy she was talking about and walked over.

As he got closer,  he realized it was the guy he saw earlier, riding into the motel.  "Hey, are you, uh, alright?" James asked, looking down at the guys arm.

"Uh, yeah. I guess I could tell that was gonna get violent, and this was the first thing I could think of to get him to back off."

"Ah, right... I'm James." He stuck his hand out for the boy in front of him to shake, mentally slapping himself for being so awkward.

"Regulus." The boy said, taking his hand to shake.

"Where you, uh, headed?" James asked, hands in his pockets.

"Uh," Regulus gripped the handlebars of his bike harder, "home." He nodded.

It was a good thing James was high, or else he never woulda asked this. "Can I come?"

Regulus stared at him for a few seconds, mouth ajar. "Uh... okay..."

Regulus got on his bike, and signaled for James to get on as well, and then they were off.

The ride over to Regulus's house was silent. James usually hated silence, his thoughts got louder in the silence, but this time, this time it was nice. James was too focused on the smell of Regulus's shampoo to think about much else.

When they got to Regulus's house he turned to James, "We have to be quiet. I don't want to wake up my cousin. I don't think she'd be too happy with me bringing a random boy home."

James's felt his cheeks blush, "Sorry..." he mumbled, feeling embarrassed to be imposing in someone's house like this.

Regulus smiled at him. "Its alright. She doesn't have to know." And he grabbed James's hand and took him inside, up the stairs, and into Regulus's bedroom.

Regulus went over to his closest and pulled out a cropped t-shirt, and some sleep shorts and began to change. James turned around hastily, not wanting Regulus to think he was some kind of pervert.

When Regulus was finished changing, he walked over to his bed and layed down. James continued to stand, awkwardly, in the middle of the room. After a few seconds, Regulus lifted his head up and padded the spot next to him. James cautiously walked over and gently began to lay down.

Regulus was looking at his arm, where the cut was, blood dry by now.

"Does it hurt?" James asked lowly.

Regulus shook his head.

"I c-" James struggled to try and find a way to say what he wanted to without having to worry that Regulus might take it the wrong way or something, "I could, like, clean it for you...?"

Regulus turned over to look at him. "You would do that for me?"

James felt his cheeks flush again, "Y- yeah. Its, uh, no big deal..."

Regulus smiled at him. "Thank you."

James just nodded his head and cleared his throat. "No- no problem."

Regulus got the stuff James would need to clean the wound, and James got to work.

When James was finished, cleaning, and bandaging the wound, he laid back down next to Regulus and smiled at him.

"I got an idea."

Regulus smiled back, "What?"

"Wanna get high?"

#regulus black #james potter #sirius black #barty crouch jr #evan rosier #jegulus #dorcas meadowes #mary macdonald #lily evans #peter pettigrew #frank longbottom #neville longbottom #euphoria #euphoria au #marauders #oneshot #fic #fanfic #marauders fanfic #marauders fandom #euphemia potter #sirius is a tonks cause he changed his last name when he moved in with andy and ted cause he didn't want to be associated with the black's #peace and love #im sorry that this sucks

[elmo-is-a-forgotten-god]

TW: for sexual assault, death, and just in general.

I just wanted to say that this year has been rough which is why I haven’t been active as much on here as I’d like to be. So here’s a life update as to why life has been putting my through the ringer:

Firstly we have had to put 3 of our pets down in 4 months, we aren’t bad pet owners they were just all my childhood pets so they were getting very old.

All of these pets took a toll on me but last week we had to put down my cat, if you know me well you know that this cat is 17 years old meaning I’ve had her since I was less than a year old. She meant everything to me and she was super empathetic legitimately whenever anyone in the house would cry she would be there to comfort them. Especially me. This has been really hard for me and I expect it to get harder.

We also lost both of our dogs (the rescue and our Shiba Inu) both of which I loved dearly.

Another way this year has put me through the ringer is that last semester my roommate brought in a lot of random people we didn’t know, and just let them stay as long as they wanted even when we were in vulnerable positions. And as someone with a lot of trauma surrounding growing up in a homophobic town, hate crimes, being a victim of SA, and many other reasons, this made me really uncomfortable and I would have to force myself to stay awake even if I had a morning class the next day because I couldn’t fathom falling asleep with people I didn’t know in the room.

One of these people. Let’s call him J, have all of my other roommates and I incredibly bad vibes. And my roommate didn’t know anything about him, just met him in the elevator and told him to come up to our room and hang. Well he came up everyone in the room was immediately uncomfortable, then he had a seizure on our dorm floor. Since I was the only one that knew how to handle the situation, I had to hold him on his side while he was seizing and wait for the paramedics.

This is where it starts to get bad with J: 2 days after the prior incident with him, he comes back to our room unannounced and it is just me and my one roommate who invited him who decides to take a shower leaving me alone with this guy. He thanks me for helping him then offers me a drink (yes alcohol we are college students). And so the alcoholic I am I’m not gonna turn down free booze so I agree. Now I drink it (he drank from the same container prior to me so I thought it was safe) and then my head starts to feel a little fuzzy shortly after. And I am not a light weight so I immediately suspect I’ve been drugged but I’m not about to tell him that. I can push medication fast but this was hitting me. But I stayed awake and pulled out my knife which I hid under the blanket I was under. A while after my roommate gets out of the bathroom and I tell her “hey I wanna watch the kardashians” (I knew J couldn’t stand them from the limited interactions I’ve had) and J goes “guess that’s my cue to leave”.

I kind of brush this whole thing off because again at the time I only suspected I had been drugged I didn’t think much of it. 2 days after that we find out there was a guy drugging people on campus. Then suddenly we are getting texts from friends on campus we rarely talk to who had seen us with J. And I felt sick to my stomach. He had always acted really creepy around me and I’d I hadn’t been who I am, something worse might’ve happened and as someone who’s been a victim before it traumatized me. I sleep with a knife every night now.

Just overall a lot of shit is fucked up but I’m getting better.

#im a dumbass #im a dumb fuck

[joshscrookednipple]

Cupid Screwed Up: Chapter 2

Summary: What happens when two rivals who chants even be in the same room together get paired up as soul mates for the rest of their lives..one thing they do know is that cupid screwed up.

Pairing: Josh Kiszka/Female OC

word count: 2,682

Warnings: Shitty editing, Vulgar language, angst, asshole josh, seizures, ambulances, mentions of negative body talk. (as always let me know if i missed anything!)

Not edited !!

A/N: before you read this here are a few things you need to know-

FND (functional neurological disorder) refers to a group of common neurological movement disorders caused by an abnormality in how the brain functions. some of the symptoms are-

Weakness or Paralysis

Abnormal movement, such as tremors or difficulty walking.

Seizures or episodes of shaking and apparent loss of consciousness

Episodes on unresponsiveness

i got diagnosed with FND about a year ago and i wanted to put a little bit of myself into Tara, feel free to message me if you have any questions. Enjoy!!! :)

have you ever seen those commercials where people screw up the most simple and idiotic tasks?

yeah

thats basically what happened here.

let me give you a little recap of what happened after i found out my impending doom. (aka getting josh as my perfect match) in bullet point form.

* i cried

* i threw my phone across the room and cracked it

* i stopped to feed clawdia because she looked hungry

* cried some more

* threw some more things

* surprisingly fell asleep

and now it’s the next morning and i’m matching my ass to the C.U.P.I.D headquarters and set things straight. i pull into the driveway that itself, probably cost a million dollars.

i step out of my car when i see another one pull up by me. i bet you can never guess who it was.

“So eager to see me aren’t you bunny?”

Wow. who would’ve guessed.

“i’m here to tell this fucking dumbass company that they fucked up our matches, not to tell them i want to conceive your kids and push them out of my fucking pussy this very second

he just stares at me and i swear i can see a glint of..something in his eyes but as soon as it came it was gone.

he locks his car as starts walking towards me which leads to me walking faster.

“You wound me bunny!!”

“at least Jake had the kindness in his heart to apologize to me last night. i heard he has a match..alexis is it? how does it feel that your twin brother is higher up than you” i spit out with my back still to him and a smirk on my face.

“yeah well if i had a match i couldn’t fuck all the girls i have been”

oh my god.

ew

i ignore him and open the door and..jesus it’s like i walked into one of those young adult dystopian movies. the floors are pristine white..well the entire building seems to be white with light red accents. fitting.

people were swooping around getting personality tested for their perfect match, some meeting their matcha for the first time. all of them seem so happy. i walk up to the front desk and the lady whose name tag i read says “Valentine” turns and smiles at me with this obnoxiously big smile that has obnoxiously perfect teeth.

“Welcome to C.U.P.I.D headquarters? do you have an appointment” she smiles stupidly at me and tilts her head.

“well no i-“

“did you call in before hand?”

“no-“

i can hear the snickers of my rival behind me.

“name and occupation”

“Tara and i really don’t see how-“

and of course she interrupts once again

“how did you find out about us?”

that’s when i lost it.

“how the FUCK would anyone not know about this place? it’s not like you all have advertisements fucking everywhere or anything!! sometimes i just want to shit in peace without having to see your fucking eyes staring into my god. damned. soul!”

i’m breathing heavily and i lick my lips looking at her expecting her to finally just maybe stop asking me stupid questions and worry about the real problem.

“you seem upset, do you want to do some breathing exercises?”

i throw my hands up in the air and josh is doubled over, his face red from him trying not to laugh. he’s clearly going to be no help so i turn back to valentine who i’m half convinced is a robot and take a deep breath.

“look” i start “i think you all made a mistake with my match. i go matched with this used paper towel back here, and i’m sure it’s a bug in the system but i would really appreciate if you would go and change it please”

i finish and give her a forced smile and a few minutes of silence goes by before she finally speaks

“there’s nothing we can do, C.U.P.I.D has a 100% acceptance rate”

“well apparently fucKING NOT”

a few heads turn to look at me and okay maybe just possibly i was over reacting but you don’t understand how dire this situation is. i grab my purse and push open the doors and gulp in a deep breath of air.

not even a minute later josh is by my side

“you should give up drawing and go into theatre bunny”

“fuck off”

i pull my jacket tighter around me when i look at my phone. greta it’s December 1st which means it’s the dreaded date night. i go into my car and slam the door before putting my head on the steering wheel.

one secret that i’ll take with me to the grave is that i have a debilitating crush on josh when i was in highschool, i mean god he was so fucking awful to me but at least he gave me SOME attention, my dad was always out with one of his side pieces and my mom would hide in her bedroom crying most nights. C.U.P.I.D swears by their 100% success rate, but if that was true why would i have to fall asleep to the sounds of my dad threatening bash my moms head in. is that truly what love is? because if that’s their definition of it, they need some serious fucking help.

the drive home was quiet except for the barely there self help podcast that was coming out of the radio of my car. i pull into the parking lot of my apartment complex and trudge up to my room, which felt like it took forever. as soon as i unlock the front door and open it i see sam sitting on the couch with maggie straddling his hips and their both in what seems like a life or death make out session. i slam my keys on the counter which makes sam jump slightly and for maggie to pull away and give me a huge grin.

“There’s my favorite girl! Are you so excited for your date with josh today” she coos and looks over sams shoulders at me

“just thrilled, also next time text me when you and long legs over here are going to fuck on the couch”

sam shoots his head around and smirks “i’m supposed to be the one giving nicknames bunny”

“actually Danny gave me mine, nice try” i laugh and ruffle his hair before going into my room and stand in front of the mirror before looking at my phone screen. it’s currently 12:30 in the afternoon which means i have about five and a half hours until the god forbidden date. i curl up in a ball in my bed and let myself fall into a dreamless sleep.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

I groan and sit up, stretching my arms up and rubbing my eyes before turning my alarm off. 4:30. that means i have to force myself out of bed and start getting ready. i use all of my strength to force myself out of bed and i rub my eyes and pad across the soft carpet into the cold bathroom and turn on the shower head onto the hottest setting before peeling my clothes off of my body and step into the shower that could be accurately described as bathing in lava. i quickly run through my shower routine, when i finish i throw my ratted robe on and throw my hair into a towel and that’s when i feel it start, i look down at my legs and see them shaking like how you see a leaf shake outside in the winter.

one of the first things i told Maggie about when i moved in was about my Illness, it’s called Functional Neurological Disorder..or as the doctors like to say..”something that’s all in my head”. i’m living with FND is like living in a constant hell, i don’t know if i’ll wake up with my arm paralyzed, or having a shaking episode. but you learn to adapt. i was diagnosed at 17 and got my first pair of forearm crutches* when i was 21 and found myself using them more often than not, but thankfully my medication has been keeping my shaking at bay, which is why my heart drops when i see my medicine container is empty.

shit.

i forgot to get a refill. i’ll be fine though. i always am.

i take a few deep breaths before doing a very quickly ran through curl routine and put on a swipe..or two..or three of mascara and smudge on my favorite deep red lipstick before grabbing my favorite dress, it’s a black velvet dress that goes mid thigh, i pair it with black tights and my platform doc martens and throw on a jacket to battle the cold water and rush out of the door and to my car. i have thirty minutes before i have to make it to the restaurant and luckily it’s right by my pharmacy, so i’ll just go in and grab my medicine and then go to the date and try not to kill Joshua. perfect plan.

until it’s not.

“that’ll be $250, do you want to use cash or card”

i almost have a shaking episode right there. i stare at the lady behind the pharmacist desk and hope, and pray for her to say this is some sort of sick joke.

“i don’t-“ i stutter and look at her “i don’t have $250..i barely have enough money for gas”

“i’m sorry ma’am but there’s nothing i can do” she apologizes and smiles a sad smile at me.

i look down at my shaking hands and chew on my lip and try to force back the tears that are threatening to fall down my cheeks. Maggie and Danny are the only two that know about this..so if anything goes wrong i can just call them. everything will be okay. right?

i leave the pharmacy and decided to use the fresh air to my advantage and walk to the restaurant when i see josh standing outside, his cheeks and nose pink from the cold. he’s kinda cute when he looks like that.

no he’s not Tara, snap out of it.

“your late.” he states and i look at my watch and roll my eyes

“only by two minutes, im going inside, you can either come with me or freeze your dick off out here”

he huffs and follows me inside where the hostess was clearly giving him “fuck me” eyes as she leads us to our table and takes our order, in which the whole, except when i order my food, she’s talking to josh.

after she leaves this smug bastard leans back in his chair and smirks “maybe i’ll take her home tonight, i mean did you see those tits?”

i scrunch up my nose and stab into my complimentary salad that little miss sexy had served us before she left.

“you could have tried a little harder on your appearance Bunny, people will be taking pictures yknow”

“says you” i huff as i push around my salad with my fork

“maybe i’ll just leave with our hostess and leave you here to wallow in your own self pity”

i decide my best course of action is ignoring him. but when do i ever take the best choice?

“why do you think these things about me” i whisper, my voice barley eligible.

the demeanor in him shifts and he, just for a moment, looks regretful for what he said. obviously that doesn’t last long.

“do you want me to lie to you Tara?”

that’s what gets me, that’s how it all started.

i push myself from the table and run into a single person bathroom and let my body fall down the wall. it starts with my right arm.

then my hands.

and legs.

and suddenly i’m having a full blown shaking attack, to those who don’t know what FND is, it would look like i’m having a seizure.

a sob breaks out from my lips as i fumble with my purse and until i finally grab my phone and click on Maggie’s contact and try to call her

1 ring

2 ring

3 ring

hey this is maggie! i’m out right now please leave a message at the beep!

beeeeep

i bite my lip and blindly click on danny’s contact, praying that he picks up.

1 ring

2 ring

“Hello?”

“d-danny” i mutter as i put my phone on speaker, not being able to hold it

“Tara? what’s wrong? aren’t you on your date?”

i mean he wasn’t wrong.

yes i was on my date, but i was also on the floor shaking so hard it feels like i might tear a hole into the floor.

“i am- but i ran out of my medication and i’m shaking- it hurts and it’s okay if you can’t come over but-“

“i’ll be there in five minutes”

that’s all he says before he hangs up.

Danny barges into the restaurant and starts passing josh’s table.

“Danny? what are you doing here” josh stands up, grabbing danny’s arm which causes danny to whip around and for josh to take a few steps back.

“what did you say to Tara” Danny asks

“what-“

“what did you say to her”

“nothing i-“

“well whatever you did. good fucking job”

josh furrows his eyebrows and follows a frantic danny to the bathroom, only to see me half laying down, half sitting up, shaking, and fading in and out of consciousness. danny quickly sits down behind me and pulls me in between his legs so my back is pressed up to his chest and my head falls back into his shoulder.

Danny was probably one of my best friends in every sense of the word, he was always so calm, gentle and..nice.

“hey bunny” he whispers as he brushes some hair from my face “i need you to stay awake for me pretty, you know if you pass out we have to call 911, and i know you don’t want that”

it’s true, whenever i pass out during a episode, more often than not im taken away in a ambulance and taken into observation for one to two days, it always helps when i get a cute paramedic though”

“s’fine” i mutter even though it was not fine, i let my head fall to the side and see josh staring at me with wide eyes and i give him a slurred smile “go see the hostess”

those are the last words i say before i black out and hear Danny curse.

“call an ambulance Josh” Danny orders but josh, looking like he’s frozen in time doesn’t follow his orders.

“JOSH” Danny yells again which seems to snap josh out of his trance before he calls 911 and soon enough paramedics are surrounding me and getting me on a stretcher. once i’m gone danny looks at josh

“i hope whatever you said was worth it”

“what happened to her- was it a allergic reaction or-“ josh stutters before danny huffs and cuts him off

“no you intolerable ass crouton, she has a disorder where if she gets too stressed or upset her body basically shuts down”

danny had never scolded josh to this extent and he couldn’t help but feel like a child being caught stealing a cooking by their mom, all he can think to do in look down at his hands.

“now what i’m going to do is go to the hospital and make sure she’s not alone, you can either come or stay. the choice is up to you”

danny leaves and josh just stands there looking at the spot where i had originally laid.

why did he say those things?

did he really think those things? no go course not.

it’s more of a coping mechanism he thinks. s way to keep his walls up.

but on a friday, on december first at 7:57, his walls has caused you to go to the hospital.

C.U.P.I.D’s 100% success rate my ass.

#danny wagner #greta van fleet #gvf fic #jake kiszka #josh kiszka #sam kiszka #josh kiszka fic #chrinic illness #lol omg #my eyes

[jeffchats]

Livestream Recap June 11, 2022.

He talks about some cancellations and replacements (Ryan Garcia cancelled and will be replaced by Sean O’Malley.) Talks about other things that are coming out with Tana and Mike.

He talks about how he addressed the issues with the last podcast on the new podcast. He apologizes for the autism episode and said he received messages about the autism episode. He was debating if he should delete the podcast and he got a message from his mom saying she loved the episode, Jeff had an uncle who had cerebral palsy. His mom says Steven is an idiot.

Talks about how he posted an Instagram story and then Todd posted one with similar captions. Talks about how he looks fast af when he wears those ugly glasses, lol. He is going to make his own version of those sunglasses. Merch is suppose to drop soon (orange hat, hot hits tshirt, hoodie and sweatsuit, classic jeff barbershop tshirt free shirt for godfathers but you have to pay shipping).

Talks about some UFC tonight with Valentina vs ???

They’re working on a documentary surrounding about the BTS with his products.

Jeff shares some of his music on his playlist. When he hears a song, he Shazams it, adds it to his playlist, listens to it for a week and he’s over it. He shows Running Up the Hill song from Stranger Things, Talking Heads, Iris by Goo Goo Dolls, Pusha T, and he goes on about how he hasn’t updated it.

Nerf peed on Oscars gear backpack that he just got. He left it on the floor.

Jeff hasn’t had many seizure scares.

He mentions that he hasn’t been on Tumblr since he brought it up but other people bring it to him who check it. He talks about how we are giving him a hard time about Georgie but she really wants to get him off all drugs and she doesn’t want him to do any drugs. He smokes weed sometimes but he went a week without it. “I know not everyone knows too much about her and I tried to share too much, she’s more of a private person. I learned my lesson from having a public relationship, not saying that we are boyfriend and girlfriend but you know I don’t even want to get that out there before it fucks anything up. I like that she’s been helping me out with my mental health and learning just help do exercises to fix my mind and not fucking drugs because for a while I was taking klonopin when I was stressed out and Ambien at night. It’s just not good man…straight up no more drugs for me…or who knows. I just got a bar of mushroom chocolates from my boy and it looks good.”

Georgie doesn’t match his intensity if everyday life, she thinks he’s nuts because when they went to Laguna he was running 10 miles a day on the beach but he loved it. She does exercise and hike but no one matches his intensity.

StevenWillDoIt assistant Dmed Steven and he got to his head and that’s all he would talk about on the Miami trip so Jeff had to check him.

Talks about Connor McGregor and his injury. Jeff mentions taking some stuff to help heal his eye and rebuild his muscle.

They lost their weatherman, he threw a fit and he’s done. He was jealous they were hanging out with Steven too much and he was upset. He’ll be back after his “little bitch fit”. Weather segment beef became real. Ryan is smart, talented, and he’s well-rounded. Jeff likes having him on the team.

Jeff has good days and bad days. He is excited for the UFC tonight. Vinnie Hacker episode there was a sponsor but that original sponsor went broke so he’s waiting for new sponsor to replace before Youtube. But it’s on Patreon and that’s “all he cares about..the cult”.

Talks about how people were upset he kissed Steven ???, he says it was acting. There was no tongue. He talks about the backstory of how the kiss came to be about. Steven pulled Jeff’s ass in for a more kiss and Jeff said that it wasn’t going to work with the joke.

He says he loves the support but sometimes gets stressed out with everyone checking him.

Jeff has been wearing shirts on his runs, doesn’t wear sunscreen yet, he got health insurance (Blue Cross), he’s going to make an appointment to get his questionable mole removed so he can be cancer free.

He did the Geiko show because it was Oscar’s idea.

Talks about maybe getting a PO Box for people to send gifts.

They sold out almost all of their hair products, they did 10,000 of each. New products ready in about a month.

He wasn’t in the mood to shoot when everyone cancelled and he felt like a loser. At the end of the day, he feels better when he comes in and shoots. He gets things done and is ahead of the schedule.

He is really passionate about his hair products and stuff.

People give suggestions about different quizzes he can do.

Someone mentions like a run meet up, hike, etc. Jeff wants to do it too.

Nerf is hanging in there and pissing on anything and everything.

He would love Doja Cat on the podcast but on paper Jeff isn’t the cleaniest guy.

Favorite G-Unit song is Eye for an Eye and then says theres too many.

He thinks Austin Butler is cool but a lil try hard.

He says things are complicated in terms of missing Todd and no communication is hard. He has them on mute and not unfollowed. He just didn’t want to see them partying and shit so he’s avoiding it and not looking at it. He doesn’t have beef with everybody but they’re all a pack and a cult of their own so it is what it is. He has good people in his life and it is weird when you cut out 80% of the people he use to hang out with.

#jeff wittek #live

[was-it-really-worth-it]

Game 230 - OMORI by Omocat

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I just finished this one and it did a number on me, whoa. I'm not going to go into a lot of detail on the actual events of the game, but there will also probably be some spoilers. I'll keep it as vague as I can.

What did I think it was at first? I didn't realize until the end of the game when I looked up the link for this video that the Omocat who made the game is the same Omocat who made Pretty Boy, who I love! A relic of tumblr gone by.

I think I heard that OMORI has Undertale vibes, which is an assessment I agree with after playing it - though it is a loooooot darker than Undertale. Most of the creepiness of Undertale comes from playing a murder route - but in OMORI it permeates the whole game.

How was the character creator? You play through two stories that converge in the end - Omori and friends in the whimsical world of Headspace, and a character you can name. You can choose some of your actions, but most of the game is fairly on rails - the main decision you get to make is whether you do or do not do certain actions.

The game does have multiple routes, though the ways in which they diverge are very subtle - I got the good route (though not the secret one) on my first trip through and honestly the rest sound too scary I don't think I can do it.

How was the game? Throughout the dream world, you and your friends are trying to find Basil! You travel through a variety of cutesy environments and participate in wacky side quests. This part of the game was very charming, though you do get the feeling that something sinister is going on. Honestly would have been a fine game on its own.

When you are awake in the real world, you almost act as a detective, trying to figure out why your real-world friends aren't as close as your dream world counterparts. There is a very slow build throughout this part of the story, and when the two narratives converge at the end I seriously felt like the rug was pulled out from under me. My watch warned me that my heart rate was spiking. There's an excellently done third-act twist that legitimately recontextualizes the entire game.

The combat here is really fun. I liked that the standard RPG status system was reflavored as emotions. There's no messy gear curve to worry about, and no gathering! I fucking love a game with no gathering/crafting component. You're free to discover what combat strategies work for you - and though the fights feel a little repetitive when exploring the overworld the system never really goes stale.

The characters are all super charming and cute, and I kind of miss them now as my friends. Both the pixel art and the hand-drawn art add a lot of uniqueness to the game, and the music is on point. Incorporation of realistic graphics is used to add tense feelings and build suspense. It came off genuinely creepy, though I didn't really note any serious jumpscares or screamers.

What did I not love? Overall, Omori is a really well-built game. It's very cute and the horror genuinely left me both excited to get to the end and dreading my arrival at the end.

The game arrives with a trigger warning: “This game contains depictions of depression, anxiety, and suicide, and may not be suitable for all audiences. It also contains bright flashing imagery that may cause discomfort and/or seizures for those with photosensitive epilepsy. Viewer discretion is advised.”

I am not typically troubled by depictions of suicide, depression, or anxiety. I do, however, have a reaction to self-harm - which is a key mechanic of the game introduced in the early moments. It almost stopped me from continuing to play, and I would have really missed out on an enjoyable experience! There's also a scene with really intense animal cruelty much later in the game. Originally, it seems like the protagonist is forced to participate in animal cruelty - I happened to notice a skip for it but it's not made clear. I think the trigger warnings here are not specific enough and could cause severe distress to someone not expecting that sort of content. It's a shame, too, because the overall story is really engaging and cool. I think it would be cool to have a "softer mode" that eases up on some of the actual depictions and animations of blood, gore, and self-harm with more of a "fade to black" - I think the story would still have the same emotional wallop but would be easier to approach for a wider audience.

There are also a lot of Undertale comparisons here - both are wacky mixed-media pixel RPGs with surprisingly dark themes but an overall wholesome story about friendship. I think it's kind of an "Undertale walked so OMORI could run" scenario (though both are heavily based on Earthbound, I've heard, which I hope to play later!) but I did find myself making a lot of comparisons throughout the game. I don't think one would enjoy playing them in rapid sequence since they are a little samey.

At 17 hours and $15.99, was it really worth it? If you can withstand it the game is really good! Excellent bang for the buck - and honestly with the different routes you can also get a lot more out of it.

#omori #c reviews #gaming #omocat

[gnj9ata]

Life Checkpoint - I think I am starting to get it.

Or at the very least I think I am, which in terms is leading to my peace of mind, which is one of the things I craved the most above all else. I just had a seizure like a couple of weeks ago....just randomly after coming from a vacation with my mom. It was to celebrate her 50th birthday. We went to Saint Croix Island.....I would say in terms of geography, I would say somewhere near The Bahamas. Amazing place. Beautiful and all of the people there was such a breathe of fresh air. It's funny because it reminds me of one of my old posts I was reading before deciding to do another life checkpoint. Stating I wanted to be around people with "High Energy", while in St. Croix, I certainly got my wish. How the love for each other transcended race, gender, political affiliation....people just wanted to have a good time and relax. After that, we came back home and I was ready to get back to work. I had relaxed and it was time to buckle down and get back into the swing of things. Well, the universe had different plans....it needed for me to look at things I didn't want to. Not when I was ready, but when it was and when I needed to learn those lessons, which I am truly grateful for. Because it has made me stronger as a person more so than I ever been. "What doesn't kill you make you stronger."

Things are starting to make so much more sense and I believe that is where Wisdom comes from or I am starting to understand where it comes from.

Death of myself, of my mom...of my brother and family has been always something I didn't want to look at. The finality...the permanence of it. I was terrified of it. Probably still am, but I believe now I am in a place where I am finally starting to accept it among with other things I didn't like about the world....my friends...or even my mentally ill brother. It's got me to look at all of these things I deemed as "bad" or "Scary" as different or necessary. Necessary in the sense where they make us stronger because of it. And the funny fucking thing about that is with me facing my demons...facing the very things I wanted to run away from has made me free to a point of bliss. And probably feeling the most happiness I have every felt in my life. Sometimes we can get in the way of the very fucking things we want. But not even know it. And trust me, it is a bliss in that ignorance to. But when you realize it and face them head on, I'm telling you....it's nirvana.

Now trust me, I am still a work in progress and I believe I still have alot to learn, but this has given me a sense of eagerness to face future demons that I can't even describe. I write all of this to help at least one person, because at the end of the day...in my heart...in my very soul, deep down, that is all I want to do....is help people and make sure we learn from the past in the sense were we don't have to bump our head as much as our elders have.

But person reading this.....even for myself because life might beat me down to the point where I forgot my damn self.

Two things: The thing you don't want to look at, the thing that scares you the most, I humble you to face it head on. It's going to make you sick, you are going to have this burn hate in your heart...in your stomach because you don't want to do it, but I promise you. When you come out the other end, you will feel the universe's love.

And number two: Ask yourself this question....if there was no money in the world and you wanted to do something simply because you love it or you didn't get any reward from it at all...you simply wanted to do it for the sake of it. Do it.

Do it immediately...now I am not saying it isn't going to be easy. The things we want the most never are, but I am saying you will prove it to yourself that you can and that above all else is what it feels like to also feel the universe's love.

Regardless of the outcome...this is important.

Do it for the sake of doing it.

Creation is the highest form of the universe. Love is the highest form of the universe.

And maybe I sound like a fucking nut case saying all of this, but I don't care. I am living my truth. And I urge you to do the same. "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can........................

and the wisdom to know the difference."

#love #people #death #strength #serenity prayer

[derealfeelz]

Past Dream #1 (Kodoku's Lilacs, The Life of a Flowstar No. 7)

This is the 7th post I've made on here, so it's been a week, so that's cool. To celebrate, I guess we'll talk about past dreams I had, especially since my name on here is "derealfeelz", and I need something to write about.

A year ago, I made a dream diary on my chromebook and it lasted until August (with a dream from January from this year). I must've forgotten about it as I did have school around that time, and shit like that gets in the way, hopefully that doesn't happen with this lol. Out from May to August, I seem to only wrote 12 dreams, out of like 90 days. I guess I'll tell you one that I think is an interesting dream, it occurred on 6/14/22.

So I was on trip with a pretty known rapper with his crew, camera equipment, security guards, he's got his protection. I would say the rapper's name, but I don't wanna sound really weird (but then again, dreams can be weird), especially with how he goes with his aesthetic. This took place in a forest, at a pretty high elevation according to the diary.

The dream started in this place that may have been some tour place because I did describe "big glass with some stuff behind it" in a cave, and that we could see a bridge from it. If I remember correctly, the bridge was pretty weak. You know the one bridge from the original Shrek, where him and Donkey cross the bridge to save Fiona? I believe that's what it was, since something happened later in the dream.

We crossed the bridge with the crew, then we explored this forest as if it was a park we can go to, and apparently, we seen one of our bros getting arrested for something. I didn't specify what it was, so I guess for this post, I'll say he was flashing the policemen too much with his camera and one of them had a seizure I guess. I did see his camera on the ground and for some reason, instead of picking it up for him (and shouting free bro, fuck 12!!! (I'm joking on that part lol, some cops are good)), I just decided to leave it, and no one picked it up. And we all just kept going with our journey.

After we were did our thing with our journey, we started to head back, and remember that bridge I was talking about earlier? We were crossing that and it snapped, like a few people fell into the water below it, probably broke because too much people on it at once. And then, I had such a smart solution. There was still another string there that came off easily and I had it in my hand, and I decided to try to swing to the other side, but some kid (probably one of my bros) grabbed onto me as I did the leap of faith, and the string broke as we swung, and we both fell into the water. It probably had alligators and we all died or some shit, because I didn't specify that other than saying that the dream ended there.

So yeah, I probably actually wrote something interesting! I think I do got a couple other dreams to write about, although I don't got so many, so I hopefully will start again. Hopefully you find this interesting and see you guys again lol.

Sincerely, Kodoku.

[twjournals]

disturbed

Summary: leaving the woods did nothing to keep the darkness from following you home.

Word Count: 6.6k

Warning: demon!Bucky Barnes x reader, DARK, non con/ dub con smut, side of Steve Rogers x reader, drinking, gaslighting, demonic spirit, possessive, seizure, possession of a person, crying kink, sharp teeth, manhandling, fingering, painful stretch, penetration, overstimulation

You are responsible for your own media consumption. Please take a moment to review my warnings. If you are sensitive to any of my warnings, do not continue.

"Steve, not out here!" You swatted at his hands from their place underneath your shirt while breaking the bruising kiss. His hands fell to your hips, his lips falling in a pout as he groaned into your neck. "What if someone sees?"

"Come on, baby. Who's going to see?" He encouraged, taking a look around at the trees surrounding the two of you.

"Someone. I don't know." You shrugged your shoulders, biting your bottom lip as you played with the collar of his shirt.

He cupped the back of your neck, pulling you into another soft kiss. A reassuring one. "You're worried about nothing. There's no one out her- What was that?!" His head shot around to check around you again.

You felt your heart leap, your hold on him growing a little tighter. If there really was someone there, there was no way he was leaving you behind.

"Steve..." You looked around with wide eyes as if you could see much of anything in the dark. You were wondering why you even allowed him to talk you into a walk this late and out in the middle of nowhere. Damn you for wanting some alone time. "What do you see?"

What was he hearing that you weren't? What was he seeing?

His hands tightened on your hips again. "I- I don't know. It sounded almost like..."

As if your eyes could not get any wider. "Like what?!"

He turned his head back to look at you. "Like you begging for me to let you come while I fuck you against this tree." His lips turned into a smirk, attacking your neck in kisses.

You immediately punched his arm, scowling at him as you pushed him away. You wiggled free from his arms. "You're such an asshole." You scowled.

Steve threw his head back with a laugh, following behind you as you marched down the trail. "You should have seen your face!"

You glanced over your shoulder at him with narrow eyes. "You're sick, you know that?" Your skirt moved in the breeze as you went on down the trail you had just followed to get here. You could only hope you were going in the right direction considering it was too dark to tell exact where you were.

"Oh come on, I'm just having a little fun. Lighten up." He laughed as he lingered just behind you.

"I have a half a mind to kick your ass right now. Do you even know where we are?" You glanced around. "God, am I even going to right way?" You let out a stiff laugh.

His large hand grabbed yours, pulling you to a stop and into his hard frame. His soft lips kissed along your neck. "You really wanna head back already?"

You didn't, but you also didn't want to wonder much further from the cabin.

"We have one more night. Don't you wanna make the most of it?" Steve trailed kisses up your neck until he reached your cheek. His hand pushed underneath your skirt further with every kiss.

"Steve..." You bit down on your bottom lip.

His fingers grazed over the wet spot on panties, teasing your aching clit. "You're soaked, baby. Don't you want me to take care of this?"

You hummed, leaning back in his arms. It was tempting. You dreaded the thought of going back to the crowded cabin with the rest of your friends already drunk and annoying.

Steve glanced around, doing a double take when he noticed an old run down cabin just beyond some trees. A smirk came his lips from the idea that quickly came to mind. "We could always go in there?" He suggested.

"What?" You whirled around until your eyes finally landed on the same cabin Steve had in mind. "The cabin? I think you've seriously lost your mind." You laughed slightly, tilting your head back to look at him.

"You're right. I have. I blame it on lack of you." He confessed. You gigged at his comment, crossing your arms over your chest. "Just think, you can be as loud as you want. It's just an old empty house." He rubbed your sides.

"Steve, I don't think you've seen enough horror movies. That's exactly how the horny couples usually die."

He rolled his eyes. "I think you've seen too many horror movies. Who's gonna be waiting in there?"

You thought for a moment. Anyone. Anything. It was an old cabin for crying out loud. There was no telling what was on the other side of that door.

"Casper the friendly ghost?" Steve teased.

You give him a scowl.

"Live a little." Steve sighed, turning you around to face him. He cupped your face in his hands and pressing a long kiss to yours. A mix between his kiss and the drinks fogged your mind. "I'll check the entire house if that will make you happy."

You stared up at him, trying to push away the consideration of even going in the old cabin but what was to come when you went back and the ache between your thighs kept you lingering. Steve watched you with eager eyes as he awaited your answer.

You knew this had to be one of the dumbest things you would agree too. Not only did you not know what could be on the inside, but you were not even sure how sturdy the house still was.

"Fine." You gave in. You blamed the alcohol for the sudden courage, for without it, you would have been pulling Steve by his ear back to your friends.

Steve broke out into a grin, pressing a quick kiss to your lips before pulling you with him to the run down home.

The step creaked with each step. Steve turned on the door knob only to find the door jammed shut. He struggled with the door giving it a tug to try again.

A sudden chill come over you as you waited on the porch behind Steve. He shivered before pushing against the door with his weight.

"Steve, maybe we should just-"

He rammed his shoulder against the door hard before the door flew open, nearly causing him to fall on his face. He caught himself with his hands.

"Got it." Steve chuckled while dusting himself off. "Stay here. I'll go check the house."

You grabbed his arm before he could step fully into the house. "Steve-"

"I'll be right back, I promise. Just stay right here." He assured you before shaking off your hand and wondering into the empty house.

You crossed your arms over your chest, rubbing your arms to warm them back up. It was odd how low the temperature dropped outside in such a short period of time. You stood on the porch listening to Steve's footsteps get further away.

You picked at your thin sweater as you waited. Any day now, Steve. A few minutes passed. The cabin couldn't be that big. What could be taking so long?

You peeked your head in the doorway, glancing around the dark hall. "Steve?"

The house was quiet, not even the sound of footsteps. An unease feeling creeped over you.

"Steve, what's taking so long?" You called out, but once again the house was silent.

You were gonna hurt him if this was another one of those jump scares. You could see your breath at this point from how low the temperature had suddenly dropped. You stood on the porch until you couldn't anymore.

He was so lucky you loved him or else you would have been halfway back to your own cabin by now. You sighed in defeat, finally stepping into the house to get out of the cold. There wasn't much of a difference in the house, but it was better than being outside alone.

"Steve?" You moved cautiously down the hallway, the floor creaking with every careful step.

It was too quiet. Where the fuck was he?

You jumped when door slammed shut behind you. Could it have been the wind? There was no way. You thought for sure Steve had broken the door. You stood trembling in the hall from a mix of fear and the cold until you heard footsteps above you on the second floor.

"You know I'm gonna have to start undressing myself at this point." You giggled, quickly starting up the steps to the old stairs. Surely they were safe. Why hadn't he answered you?

"Steven, it's not funny anymore." You crossed the hall into the room you had heard the steps from, freezing in the doorway when you saw him. Not Steve, but a man. His hair was short and dark. He stood across the room from you with his back to you as he faced the bedroom window.

You took a step back, mentally cursing when the floor creaked. By the time you looked back at him his eyes were locked straight ahead on you. Dark. That was the best way to describe him. From the clothings he was wearing, to the look in his eyes. He looked around the same age as you. You wanted to move, to run out of the house; to hell with Steve, he could find his own way back now, but his eyes held you in place.

The lump in your throat thickened as he stepped toward you. A dark mist fell over the bedroom. Every hair on your arms stood from the intensity of his stare, but yet you couldn't manage to get your feet moving. You tried to scream, but it felt lodged in your throat the closer he got to you.

"There you are. I thought I told you to stay outside." Steve's voice broke the trance you were in. Your back hit the door as you gasp for air when the environment went back to normal. Or as normal as it could get. "What are you doing up here?"

You threw your arms around Steve's neck, hugging him tight. A part of you thought to wrap your hands around his neck, but you were too relieved to see him. He chuckled, wrapping his own arms around your waist.

"I didn't even hear you come in. I was worried when I didn't see you-"

"I thought you were up here. I heard someone walking.. " Your voice cracked in the crook of his neck as you trailed off. "Can we just go back?"

"Go back? What's wrong?" He frowned at the feeling of your racing heart. He cupped your face in his hands. "Baby, take a deep breath for me. Why are you crying?"

You shook your head swiftly, wiping the tears you had realized you cried. "There was a man." You motioned toward the window.

"There's no one here. What are you talking about?"

"I saw him! He was right there, Steven!" You pointed towards the window again. "Looking out that window."

"Look, we've both had a little bit to drink-"

"No!" You interrupted, pushing him away from you.. "Don't do that. Don't- I know I've been drinking but I can assure you I've never seen random men when I'm tipsy- I don't- I don't know-" You started rambling in a panic. You knew you sounded crazy, but you needed him to believe.

Steve nodded his head with a frown, wrapping his arms around you again to pull you in a hug. "It's okay, baby. It's okay." He pressed a comforting kiss to the top of your head. "Come on. Let's go back."

--

You glanced over at Steve sound asleep beside you. You were jealous how easily he could sleep, especially tonight. Maybe you were crazy. Maybe your mind had been playing with you. Steve was there just like you were and yet you were the only one who saw him.

A shiver went down your spine just from the thought of him. His eyes. You could have sworn they were almost black. Seeing him did not scare you near as much as the hold he had on you. You thought back to being frozen in place. Wanting to run, but your feet wouldn't budge. Wanting to scream, but your throat was dry. What scared you the most was feeling completely helpless in his presence.

You sighed, trying to focus on the book in your hands. It was one of your favorites. One you knew did just the trick to get your mind off of things. And it had, for a few hours.

He would let you have your peace for a moment. Let you believe you had gotten rid of him, but he was still there. He had never left. He just lingered in the shadows; waiting, watching. Leaving the woods did nothing to keep the darkness from following you home.

It was well past midnight when you started to drift off, your eyes fluttering to fight the sleep that slumbered over you. It was not exactly what you wanted, but maybe, you thought, it was what you needed.

The wooden door swung up to the cabin, welcoming you inside the familiar home. You looked around the hallway, instantly remembering how you once walked this hallways just a few hours ago. You were still in one of Steve's shirt and your underwear that you had fallen asleep in.

But you were not entirely sure if you were actually dreaming. You wanted to believe you were, but this dream did not feel even close to the rest. It felt real.

You were reliving the chain events that had happened earlier. Your feet carried you up the stairs to the bedroom as you had before.

There he stood waiting.

"Who are you?" You spoke before you could stop yourself.

He did not speak, nor did he move. You wondered if maybe he heard you. You could see his reflection in the window he was staring out.

"What do you want?" You tried again.

You could see his slight smirk in the reflection.

"You disturb my peace, and you ask what I want?" His voice caught you off guard. A response wasn't what you had expected. If you were being completely honestly, you had expected something like all the other horror movies; a silly run away due to the inability to run in your dreams and then you would scare yourself awake.

He turned around slowly to face you. "Is that what you think this is?"

What? You tilted your head slightly in curious. "What?"

"A dream." He answered. His hands in his pocket while stepping towards you as he had earlier.

"This is a dream."

Your back hit the wall behind you when he suddenly appeared in front of you.

"Is it?" He challenged your assumption.

You gasped when his long cool fingers wrapped around your throat, forcing you to look at him. His fingers squeezed enough to take your breath away, your feet thrashing against him to break free from his hold. Your lungs were burning from lack of air, to the point you weren't sure if this was still a dream.

Your fingers tried to pull at his from your neck, but his hold only seemed to get tighter. He pushed you to the point of giving out before he gave you life again, releasing just enough to get air back in your lungs but not enough to let you out of his hold.

You gasped for air, collecting as much air as possible as if would be taken away from you again. He watched you gasping, your tears wetting your eyes as you gained your breath back.

"Is this still a dream?"

And with that, he dropped you. Your feet could not catch you in time to keep yourself from falling. He squatted down to get eye level with you.

You sobbed when your eyes met his black ones. You had never seen anything like his eyes. There was no white left to his eyes. They were nothing but pitch black.

"You-" You held your throat where he once held you, rubbing the bruising irritated skin. " You're not real."

He pulled you to your feet without lifting a finger. He raised an eyebrow suddenly. "Run."

"W-What?" You choked on your tears. This felt more real than dream you had before.

"You say you can't run in dreams, so run."

You stared at him for a moment, determining whether or not it was safe to run. Why did you care so much what happened? Soon you would be waking up. You always did. You would wake up, right?

You took a test step before taking off in a run down the hall. You hauled ass away from him, running as fast as your feet could take you. Wait- your legs are always jelly in any dream you had ever had, but you were actually running. Your eyes got wide, pushing yourself to run faster towards the door. If you could just get out of the house, maybe he would leave you be.

Until he appeared in front of you. His tall large body knocking you down as soon as you collided with him.

"I'm sorry!" The tears started to fall. "We didn't mean to disturb you- I-I'm so sorry. I won't come here again!" You started to crawl to get some distance between the two of you, but it didn't matter.

He dragged you right back to him without laying a hand on you. You broke out in a sob. "Please- God, please, I'm sorry!"

He tilted his head slightly as he watched you cry. For a moment, you started to actually believe he was taking pity on you.

His body flickered from his stand to on his knee before you. He cupped your chin in his hand and you flinched.

"Stupid girl. God can't help you." He grinned. "It doesn't matter where you are, I'm everywhere."

Your body jolted from the bed abruptly and you panted, holding onto your chest.

Steve quickly sat up in the bed beside you, wrapping his arm around you and rubbing his hand against your back in circles. "Hey, hey. You're okay. It's okay..."

You took a deep breath when you realized you were still in bed. It was only a dream. How did it feel so real? You didn't care at this point, as long as it was over. But why were your lungs burning so much? Maybe you had held your breath when you were sleeping.

You were quiet, still holding onto Steve's arm wrapped around your chest and leaning into his hold. He glanced down at you to see if you might have fallen asleep, but you were wide awake.

"Must have been a hell of a dream. You're shaking..." He pointed out.

He pulled you back down in the bed with him, wrapping the covers over you and smoothing them down.

"I don't want to sleep right now." You mumbled.

"You don't have too." He assured, wrapping his arms around your waist again underneath the covers to pull you back in his arms. "We can lay here and talk if you want. Do you wanna talk about it? Sometimes talking about it actually helps you realize how silly some dreams actually are."

But it wasn't silly, to say the least. No amount of explaining made you believe it would make things better. You didn't want Steve to know you were still tore up about the cabin.

You shook your head, nuzzling your head into his chest and inhaling his warm scent. "It was just a stupid dream." You tried to convince yourself.

He nodded his head, pressing a kiss to your temple. "Whatever it was, it seemed to really upset you. I just hope you know it's not real."

You hoped not. You couldn't imagine if it had been real, but a part of you wasn't fully convinced.

You kept your head on his bare chest, tracing shapes against it with your fingers. The room was quiet aside from your breathing. You sighed, finally lifting your head to look at Steve.

His eyes met yours curiously, wondering what you were thinking. That was the thing. You didn't want to think. You needed a distraction.

You leaned in, catching him by surprise when your lips touched his but he was quick to kiss you back. Your lips moved with his in sync, your hand falling farther underneath the covers to find him hard. You squeezed him through his boxers.

He parted from the kiss with a groan. "Someone's eager." He chuckled.

You wrapped an arm around his neck with a smile, pulling him back down to you. "Please." You practically pleaded for his touch. "I don't wanna think right now."

He smiled against your lips, rolling you over onto your back while he hovered over your body. His large hand pushed underneath your long shirt to feel beneath. His long fingers rubbing over your breasts, grasping and twiddling with your nipples until they hardened.

His mouth moved down your neck to your chest, sucking on your hardened nipples and rolling his tongue around them teasingly. You knew you had to be quiet to keep from waking the rest. Even if the cabin was huge, the walls were still thin.

You moaned quietly, feeling his mouth trailing wet kisses down your stomach. You opened your eyes, your hand cupping your own breast and playing with your nipple as you watched.

You noticed a flicker out the corner of your eye. Your breath hitched when you saw him in the corner of the room. No, no, no- focus Y/n. You just had a dramatic dream, of course your mind is messing with you. You closed your eyes as you let Steve proceed to touch you, his fingers rubbing you through your panties.

"You can close your eyes, but I'm still here."

No, you're not. He's not real. None of this is real. You reminded yourself.

You didn't hear anymore, only felt Steve's pulling you out of your thoughts once more with his fingers. You fluttered your eyes open to meet Steve's, his eyes watching you as his fingers pushed underneath your panties to feel you. You bit your bottom lip, peeking over at the corner again but he was gone.

Your hands fell to his blonde hair, running your fingers through it as his fingers rolled around your clit. "Steve..."

He didn't like that too much. "You'd do well to learn my name." You heard Steve below. What was he going on about?

"Steven?" You flutter your eyes open to see him moving up your body.

He grabbed your chin roughly. "Bucky." His voice was dark and firm as he corrected you. Who?

You noticed the white of his eyes clouding over, darkening until the white was no longer present. You screamed, pushing away from him immediately as his body started violently shaking, seizing. You kicked against the sheets, pushing yourself as far away from him as possible. You cried out as you huddle up against the headboard, covering your face with your hands.

"Open your eyes, doll. Look at me. Look at what we've done."

"No- no! I didn't go anything- this isn't real!" You cried.

"Lies. Everything I do is for you."

You shook your head. Tears were falling hysterically when his laughter filled your head.

The door swung open, but you couldn't bring yourself to open your eyes. Not when you heard one of your friends on the phone with 911. Not even when you felt another pull you into their arms.

--

You couldn't help to feel like this was all your fault. Sure it was Steve's stupid idea, but you were the one stupid enough to agree. If your judgement had not been so clouded, you could have say no and he would have followed. You could be on your way back home from your so called vacation, but here you sat beside his hospital bed.

You took in the sight of your unconscious boyfriend hooked to multiple tubing and IVs. You had barely seen or heard from Bucky, but then again you weren't sleeping much either. Since he had only seemed to come to you when you were alone, you made sure you were always around people. It was exhausting to keep up.

You could feel tears stinging your eyes while the sound of the ventilator filled the room. You lay your head down on the bed, crying quietly to yourself as you held onto his hand in yours.

Steve had never had a history of seizures. The doctors could not explain what went wrong and as much as you wanted to tell them about the cabin, you figured you were safer keeping your mouth shut. Besides who would believe you.

The doctor couldn't tell you when he might open his eyes, or when and if he would breath on his own again.

It was like this for days. You spent every last second at the hospital, even if you knew it was likely he would not open his eyes or talk to you.

Your head laid tiredly down on the bed with your small hand over Steve's. You could only imagine how ridiculous the bags underneath your eyes were by now.

You lifted your head when you heard the click of the door opening. It was the nurse coming to get his IVs.

She smiled at you gently while she checked his machine, jotting down some numbers for record.

"Do you think he's getting any better?" You asked out of curiosity.

She finished writing down some more numbers before she flipped through his charts, comparing each day's progress before answering. "He's been consistent."

You didn't have to ask anymore to nothing had changed. He was holding on just enough to keep him alive.

You sighed, resting your head back down on the bed with a yawn. All the crying you had been doing didn't help matters either.

"Have you been sleeping any?" She asked curiously while checking his IV. "I don't mean to be nosey. I just wanted to check on you. I never see you leave him."

"Hardly." You mumbled.

She gave a sympathetic look and you looked down at your lap, picking at your finger.

"I think the best thing you can do for Steven right now is to take care of yourself. I don't know him, but don't you think that's what he would want?"

You sat in silence for a moment, glancing up at him. You frowned at the sight of the tube in his mouth and you hung your head. "He would." You nodded. "You're right."

"We're gonna be running some tests today. I think it would be good for you to get out. Take a walk, grab some food, catch up on sleep. Hospitals can really take a toll on people."

It had taken a toll on you. Despite what you were going through, the environment was enough to keep anyone down. It was always grumpy, or even chaotic depending on the day. So you agreed to take her advice and thanked her for everything she has done for him.

You waited until after she left to gather up your belongings.

--

You carried the bag of takeout inside as you pushed the door to your apartment open. You looked around cautiously as you shut the door behind you, but nothing happened. The apartment looked just as you had left it before your vacation.

You sat your bags by door before hauling your takeout over to the counter. You took a seat at the counter, unboxing your meal before dining on your food.

It had been a moment since things were this peaceful. You were starting to wonder if maybe all of this had been in your head considering you had yet to see Bucky. Not that you wanted to see him, but a part of you had expected him. He always seemed to come when you were alone.

You swirled some noodles around your fork, bringing them to your lips for a bite. You could hardly remember the last time you ate an actual meal. It had been since your vacation in the cabin. You had snacked a little at the hospital, whatever was in the vending machines. Whatever you got was usually stale. It felt good to warm your belly.

Bucky watched you in silence as you ate. You couldn't see him, but he had already seen you. He knew you were conflicted to believe whether or not he was gone. You were slightly smarter than he had exactly. Maybe you weren't as naive as he thought.

You had lasted longer than any other person who stepped foot in his cabin. You would be surprised how many couples had the exact idea Steve had when staying in that cabin. A walk in the woods to get away from the rest of the gang. Coming across his cabin and thinking nothing more of it than making it their own fuck stop.

Few actually made it out of his cabin, but none usually made it through the night. Served them right to think so low of his home. It served them right for disturbing his peace.

But you, he didn't know what to think about you. Poor thing, you were always thinking. Always alert. Smart enough not to be alone for long, until now. You had finally cracked. He could easily do whatever he wanted now, but he wouldn't. He would wait. You would sleep eventually, not those naps you always took, but sleep would finally claim you and as would he.

He had already taken the one other person in your life keeping you from him, but now it was just you. Nothing in the way of him staking his claim.

Bucky observes as you closed up the rest of your take out before took it away in the fridge for later. As if you thought there might be one.

He followed behind you towards the bathroom where you had started a warm shower for yourself. You glanced over through the doorway where he stood as you stripped yourself from your shirt and he tilted his head as he leaned against the frame. You weren't staring at him, more like past him. You felt unease but you didn't have much of an answer for the feeling. There was nothing there, but a part could feel there was.

You let the shirt fall into the floor before the rest of your closets followed. You stood underneath the water, letting the water pour over your head, washing your worries away.

Bucky wondered how much longer you last. There wasn't much more time until your body would shut itself down just for you to finally rest.

You shut off the water after you gave yourself a thorough wash. You patted yourself dry with the towel before you dressed yourself in a pair of short and a t-shirt.

You were practically a walking zombie, your brain numb to everything over than the desire to sleep. You sat with your phone in your hand, taking a moment to set another alarm.

Bucky stiffened a laugh.

After double checking to make sure the volume was all the way up, you place the phone on the charge beside your bed. You wiggled under the cozy top blanket to get comfortable.

It didn't take long. In fact, as soon as your eyes fall shut you fell through.

Time's up.

You gasped when your back landed on a firmer mattress. You knew better than to believe it was your own. You knew better than to believe you were sleeping, especially when you suddenly felt wide awake. As if you never needed sleep.

You took a look around at the room and tried to force down the tears.

The run down cabin you and Steve had paid a visit was bright with lights. The hard wood floor were polished and there wasn't a spec of dust in sight. You sat up on the bed, clenching the sheets in your hands.

"I was wondering when you'd tire yourself out." His voice made your heart skip a beat. He stood at the window like he had when you first seen him. His clothes were still black, but his pale skin was now fair complexed. "You're a fighter. I gave you that."

Your eyes remained locked on him as he circled the bed to make his way to you. His eyes were a steel blue eye rather than the black they were before. You quickly started to crawl across the bed, trying to flee him but he grabbed ahold of your ankles, pulling you back to him.

"Let me go!" You yelled, kicking at him until he pinned you with his hips. It would be too easy to use his power. He loved the fight you put up. It reminded him of the challenge you were.

His fingers wrapping around your throat as he tilted your head up. His face buried in the crook of your neck, inhaling your sweet scent. You were so intoxicating.

"I was starting to think I'd never have you." He teases as the corner of his mouth turned up as his lips traced over your neck. "But now that I do-"

"You never will." You assured him, nearly choking to get the words out.

"Doesn't seem that way." He reminded, his long tongue tracing over the lobe of your ear, grazing with his sharp teeth and you whimpered. "Seems like I have you right where I want you." You felt his hand disappearing into your shorts as he lifted his head up to see you.

"Don't go quiet now. We're just getting started."

His skilled fingers grazed over your clit, a smug smirk rising to his lip when the juices started to coat his fingers. "I don't know why you try. You're already getting wet, doll."

He pushed through your folds, smearing your juices until his thick fingers pushed inside of you. Your walls instantly sucking on his fingers as he slide them in and out of you slowly, massaging your clit. "Oh, she's so desperate for attention. I suppose I have cockblocked you long enough."

"Fuck you." You choked out, trying to keep yourself cry. You were embarrassed how easy it was to take control of your body. Fuck, his fingers were hitting so deep. How could anyone's fingers hit that deep? You could only hope your alarm was seconds away from going off.

"Fuck, you're squeezing my fingers. I don't know how you're going to take my cock. We'll just have to make it fit." He assured as his fingers massaged your velvet walls as he squeezed in a third finger, easing them in and out of you as you cried out instantly. You could only imagine how much thicker he was compared to his fingers. "I wouldn't worry too much about that alarm."

"I-It's gonna go off soon..." You gasped. Any fucking second now would be good. You were trying to bite your tongue, trying your damnedest to avoid letting him know he had any effect on you, but the feeling was too much.

He smirked as he pressed kisses along your jaw. "I'm sure it will, doll, but we'll still be here."

He's lying. No, your alarm was gonna wake you up in a minute.

He dragged your shorts down your legs with your panties. His fingers still penetrating your eager cunt. You sobbed as his lips ghosted over yours, distracting you as he lowered his pants. His lips were warm against yours, his hand returned to grip your neck when you tried to turn your head.

The head of his cock quickly pressed against your entrance after he pulled his fingers from you. "Bucky, no- ah!" You cried out with a yelp when his hips snapped quickly into yours, pushing his thick length inside of you.

His mouth swallowed your cries, kissing your lips firmly. For someone who's touching was once cold, everything about him felt warm. You could feel your walls stretching to take more of him. His cock felt endless. You didn't think the stretch would ever end, until he finally bottomed up.

"Bucky, you're too big- It's too much!"

"You can take it."

Your legs squeezed around him as your hands on his chest, gripping onto his shirt. He moved his hips back until the tip aligned with your stretched hole again and he pushed back inside of you swiftly before you had time to think about it. He just wanted to fuck all of those thoughts you had about him out of your head. That was okay though, he was fill them with thoughts of the new life you would have with him. His hips pushed yours into the mattress over and over with every brutal thrust as your head fell back with a cry.

The feeling in your stomach built the closer he pushed you to the edge. You gripped onto the sheets on the bed beside you. You could not stop the orgasm that took over your body. It embarrassed you how he had basically just started and you were already cumming around him.

"Cumming already?" He mocks and your blush deepens. Your walls clenched tight around his cock, your juices starting to leak down his length. "Oh.. that's so good. I bet your little Stevie couldn't do that. So fucking good. Again." He demands, picking up the pace of his powerful thrusts.

Oh fuck. He had never been about to let him know that, especially after what he did to him. "You disgust me." You spit.

He grabs your jaw. "Does talking about your pathetic boyfriend hurt your feelings? Does it hurt you to know he's just like every other Tom, Dick, and Harry. He wasn't the first dumbass who thought they'd get laid in the wood."

Your hands pushed on his hips like you thought you stood a chance getting him out of you. Just like you stood much of a chance when he let himself inside. "Now here you are. Molded into my perfect little fucktoy."

"I'm not-"

His hips snapped against yours hard, the tip kissing your cervics. Reminding you just how deep he was. You let your head fall back with a loud whimper.

"Is that why you're taking my cock so perfect?"

You were so sensitive from your last orgasm and already fluttering so dangerously close to your second. Damn it, come on. Where was the alarm? You had not expected to be sleep this long.

You could feel yourself starting to fall apart again. Your legs shaking around him as you came for the second time.

"Wake up. Wake up. Wake- up." You sob to yourself, tears streaming down your face. Your hands gripped onto his wrists as he gripped onto your neck while forcing your hips down on his lengthy girth.

"I told you, you won't hear it." He forced you to look at him. "You're home now."

--

Present Day

The dark mist falls over the apartment, slowly leading up to the bedroom. The TV in the corner of the room turns itself on suddenly.

"In other news, a young woman, Y/n Y/l/n, is missing. Police have determined it has been several days. She was last seen coming home, though none of neighbors had seen her leave her apartment since. Police did state when they had searched the apartment, the young woman must had previously set an alarm on her phone. Nothing seems to be taken from the apartment, only the person missing. Description of the missing person is to the right of the screen." The reporter pointed while pointing towards the photo of you on the screen along with your description.

"If anyone has any information on her whereabouts, please contact your local police department."

The mist slowly starts to clear up, and the tv shuts off.

#dark!Bucky Barnes x you #dark!bucky barnes x reader #dark!Bucky Barnes x y/n #dark Bucky barnes #demon!bucky barnes #demon!Bucky Barnes x you #demon!Bucky Barnes x reader #demon!Bucky Barnes x y/n #Bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes au #dark marvel #demon bucky #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #dark!bucky barnes #dark bucky smut #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x female reader #bucky fic #Bucky Barnes au #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x you

[holysmokesblog]

𝐏𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬

Silco x reader

Words: 2.2k

Warnings: Insinuations of abuse; toxic family relationships

Summary: You help Jinx with some purchases, but the memories of the past attack you. Silco is the one who should console you.

Note: @eexphoria​ as always responsible for correcting my grammar mistakes, Thank you!

Note II: This is an anonymous request that I had pending for a long time, it was one of the first that came to me, so it makes me very happy to finally complete it

Today was a special day, without realizing it you had advanced your tasks in the week and left the morning completely free. It was the first time you could stay in bed until any time you wished, without worrying about having to watch a shipment of shimmer, deal with some idiot or look for clothes in the fucking dyer. A whole morning to enjoy your comfortable bed.

Silco said goodbye with a kiss like every morning. In his business, there was not even the possibility of a free morning to snuggle with you, but that only left you the entire mattress to make comfortable.

The only thing that could be heard in the room was the constant “ticking” of the elegant clock in one of the corners accompanying your breathing.

It was strange to be so quiet at home, but you were comfortable, at least until the door slammed open against the wall behind. You didn't even bother to open your eyes, only two people could enter the room, your husband, who would never knock on the door like that, and your little girl.

"It's me," Jinx hummed as she entered the room. You crawled to your place on the mattress to give her a place to lie down. The bed shook slightly as she settled in until it finally stopped.

"Good morning darling," you greeted her heavily, perhaps you should've taught her to knock on the door before entering your room, in any case, it was too late for that.

"It's late and you still haven't gotten up." She complained. "I'm hungry and I'm boreeeeed!"

The pre-adolescent was quite a case, since you had adopted her you had to learn to deal with her and her genius, in addition to her fragile mentality, which seemed to want to collapse with every little mismatch. Among those things, you had learned the hard way how dangerous her boredom is, especially when the voices take too much force.

"I have no plans today," you commented, drawing her attention. "We can have breakfast and get those pieces that I mentioned last night." 

Her eyes shined, you saw her move quickly like a shadow towards her own room to prepare to leave.

It wasn't your plan to have to detach yourself from your sheets, but it had been a long time since you spent time alone with your daughter, so with all the effort of your body you got up anyway.

You finished putting on your boots when Jinx entered the room again, anxiously waiting. You watched her carefully, and it made you question when she had grown so much, she had come into your life already as a big girl but now she was one step away from adolescence and time seemed to have passed at breakneck speed.

"Is there something wrong?" 

It brought you out of your trance. "No, no," you rushed to reply. "But wouldn't you like me to pick your hair up?" You offered her. With the passage of time not only had she grown in height, but her blue hair also reached almost to her knees and she only wore barrettes so that it would not bother her face.

"My hair? Why?" She looked confused, you had never dared to get into this field, the last time you offered to cut her hair she had one of her seizures because her sister Vi had been the last to cut it, so she was quite suspicious that someone else would cut her hair. 

"Yes, only if you want ... We don't have to cut it, just comb it so it doesn't get in your way." You watched her hesitate and glance behind her repeatedly. The voices. You had to stop her. "You know… When I was your age I used to comb my mother's hair" You began, distracting her. "My mother had long hair like yours, but completely (h/c)."

You approached cautiously, taking one of her hands to lead her to the bed to sit down. "She was very sick, but she took great care of her hair, she loved that part of her. It was soft and always clean." You took one of your brushes to pass it between her soft strands undoing the knots. "But when the disease consumed her completely I started taking care of her and her beautiful hair." You divided the hair in half starting to braid one of the sides.

You continued. "We both enjoyed it a lot, I would spend all my time with her and she would feel pretty."

A small knot formed in your chest, it was like a trigger to start rummaging through your memories, between the good and bad things of your childhood.

"Were you doing the same style to her that you are doing to me?" You heard her ask.

“No, she was older and had different kinds of hairstyles. This is for you only.” You finished the second braid in her hair. Jinx turned to face you, she still had that long and slightly messy part, but at least her face was a little clearer. "Go look at yourself and tell me if you like it," you said, still somewhat disturbed by that look at the past.

The preteen went to your dresser where she looked carefully in the mirror, for a moment you were afraid she wouldn't like it, but she ran quickly wrapping her slim arms around your waist.

"Thank you very much mom," she told you with her face buried in your clothes, you wrapped your arms around her in an instant. She was everything, together with Silco they gave meaning to your life. When their strength began to loosen your waist, they started their way through the streets of Zaun.

Finding the parts that Jinx needed was not difficult, but they had to go through various mechanical shops to find all of them. They finally returned on the way home with a box full of spare parts, which luckily you weren't the one who had to carry it.

“Sevika is a snooty bitch, she makes a big deal out of her stupid metal arm. Not that it was a big deal, I'm sure that with a couple of screws less it would be completely useless.” Jinx's voice filled the silence of the walk, you didn't have to answer her, just let her verb to her pleasure. "Did I tell you about the time I glued fifteen magnets to her arm?" But her voice echoed when you recognized a familiar face in the crowd.

Everything around you became blurry, the people, the shops, Jinx. It was as if that man had a searchlight pointed directly at his hideous but still familiar face. Sitting at a seedy bar table, drinking beer, like everything is fine, like he hasn't ruined your life.

A cold sensation settled in the back of your head and slowly worked its way down your back, like a liquid. You had thought about this moment for years, crossing it in the street and being able to confront it, but now you were frozen and you could feel your jaw tremble without knowing how to react. It is as if you were a little girl again, that girl who'd run to hide in the cupboard when she heard the front door.

It was when his eyes focused on you that the panic was completely unleashed, you were not sure that he would recognize you or even know that he was from your life, as you were the wife of the eye of Zaun.

"Mommy? Mom, are you okay?" Jinx brought you back to reality, you hadn't noticed that the tears had escaped your eyes. "Do you know him?" You finally realized that you hadn't taken your eyes off your father.

You let out a shaky sigh before taking her hand and heading home again, luckily for you, Jinx didn't ask any more questions. You released her as soon as you went through the door, you set her free, and locked yourself in your room.

Too many emotions in one day, too many memories, too much of the past. It didn't take long to hide under the covers. He couldn't find you, to hurt you again, but the terror was still installed there as if not a single day had passed.

You had no idea how much time had passed, but a knock on the door dragged you back to reality, you uncovered your head from between the sheets to indicate that it could happen. You were surprised to see a little blue head poke out fearfully.

"Can I?"

You nodded slightly and that's when the rest of her body entered. She slowly approached the bed where she knelt down to be in front of you. "Are you better?" You hummed in response. “Was it me? Did I do something to bother you? I'm really sorry, don't hate me-"

You stretched your arms to pull her towards you, the last thing you needed was to make her feel bad too. You made her lie down next to you, where she hid her face in your neck.

"You didn't do anything wrong, little one."

You stroked her braids "I just feel a little sick."

"It's not my fault?" You shook your head before kissing her forehead.

"No Jinx, but I need a moment alone. Could you do that for me?"

The preteen jumped up, placed a kiss on your cheek, and quickly complied with your order by closing the door behind her. You sank back onto the pillows, covering yourself up to your head, trying to sleep by closing your eyes tightly. In your dreams, no one could harm you.

…

The footsteps out of the room were what finally woke you up, you were still under the covers and you weren't planning to get out of there for a while. The door opened slowly and there could only be two people. The weight on the mattress told you that someone was sitting there and because of their care when doing things you scratched out of it being your daughter.

"How do you feel?" His deep voice filled the void in the room. "Jinx is worried about you… I'm worried about you." One of his hands rested where your back was supposed to be.

You threw the covers off your head to get closer to him, you settled your head on his lap where he began to gently scratch your head. He didn't ask you questions, he only allowed you to remain there in silence, as long as he was around, you were safe. The imposing clock struck twelve when you rose from his legs and watched him.

"Are you ready to talk?" Silco ran his hand over your cheek causing you to seek his touch.

"Nothing special, I just felt a little tired" You avoided him by kissing his hand up to his arm to his neck, but his other hand rested on your neck pulling you away from him.

"I know you well enough to know when you lie." His thumb circled her neck, right where your pulse was pounding. "What happened out there?"

You felt the tears form in your eyes again before all the air was released from your lungs.

"I saw him out there… I… I had never seen him before… I thought he was dead or too far from here."

His face hardened noticeably, he knew all your past and instantly recognized who you were talking about. "I'll ask Sevika to take care of him." He was about to get out of bed, but you stopped him by holding his arm, begging him with your eyes to stay by your side. After a few seconds, Silco relented and returned to his place on the bed, you laid your head back on his legs

"I don't want you to do anything to him," you begged him. "I just want to forget it… And you to be by my side… Please."

You felt him sigh like he was trying to handle his anger about to explode. You stared at him pleadingly. With some force you pulled his arm back into place, causing him to lie down on his spot. It didn't take long for you to rest your head on his chest listening to the constant beat of his heart.

His arm went under you to hug you around the waist making sure you stayed close. You took a deep breath trying to get drunk on his perfume.

"I like your smell, it makes me feel at home." You clung to his shirt in fear that if you let it go he would disappear and you would be in danger again.

"You are my weakness dear." His nose sank into your hair. "That's why I need you safe and happy… I'm going to take care of that man." He promised you. "We can't avoid the past, but I can make sure you don't see his damn face again."

You closed your eyes allowing your body to relax. 

"I love you," you said just before falling asleep, you didn't need his answer, Silco demonstrated it with his actions. He kissed your crown before allowing himself to rest a bit too, you were fine and tomorrow morning he would take care of that problem.

#silco x reader #arcane x reader #arcane #arcane league of legends #arcane series #league of leguends #silco x y/n #silco x you #jinx and silco #jinxarcane #arcane netflix #silco #lol silco #jinx #love jinx #jinx supremacy #league of legends

[sally-mun]

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD

Y’ALL

Y’ALL

CHRIST I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO PROPERLY DO WITH THIS INFORMATION

Okay, okay, let me calm down

So.

SO.

Some of you out there, who’ve either been around a very long time or just enjoy my suffering

may remember

THIS

For those blissfully unaware, this is one of the worst games I’ve ever played in my life. I won’t go into the reasons why here, but if you’re curious, here’s the record of my very painful process of playing this game. All complaints about why the game is absolute garbage aside, some things of note from that playthrough are:

It’s one of the worst cases of false advertising I’ve ever seen, like literally nothing it boasts about on its Steam page is true

Both the “original” edition and the “complete” edition were on Steam at the same time, for the same price, with zero differences between them, including achievements

THEY EXPECTED YOU TO PAY $20 FOR THIS FUCKING DUMPSTER FIRE

$40 ACTUALLY IF YOU WANTED BOTH VERSIONS, WHICH I CAN’T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WOULD ASIDE FROM BEING A COMPLETIONIST I GUESS

Even so I got this game on sale and paid $12, which became a running joke through the playthrough because I wanted to laugh instead of cry that I’d spent $12

My $12 purchase apparently netted me both versions because I sure as hell didn’t buy it twice but both of them ended up in my account, which is why I was able to see (and boggle at) them both

So anyway I frequently do this thing where I’ll just randomly scroll through my Steam library and wait for a title to strike me when I’m ready to start a new game, and today I came across the two copies of Major/Minor and clicked through both of them, because there’s SO little difference between the “original” and “complete” edition that they’re not even listed differently, they both say “Major/Minor” and I don’t know which is which until I click on them. Anyway I randomly check in on these two because I’ve played through one but decidedly have NOT done the other, because fuck this fucking game I’m only playing it for charity.

Anyway when I clicked between them today I couldn’t math properly and thought there’d been a chance in the achievements, and that one suddenly had more than the other. I was initially ready to fucking RAGE at this concept but decided to look into it first and clicked to view the store page of what turned out to be the “original.” That’s when I found THIS:

HOLY SHIT Y’ALL, THE “ORIGINAL” VERSION IS GONE. Not gonna lie, I got REALLY excited to see that, and wondered if the dev had actually wised up and realized it was shitty to have two identical games listed at the same time or if they’d gotten in trouble with Steam and were told to either differentiate them or take one down. Either way I don’t care, I’m just glad ONE OF THEM IS GONE thank fucking god maybe it’ll spare a few people from getting suckered into doing this nonsense a second time.

But then I had thought, what if it wasn’t just the original. What if BOTH of these fucking things had been delisted! Oh MAN what a Valentine’s Day miracle THAT would be! So I hurried over to the “complete” edition  a n d  t h a t ‘ s  w h e n  I  s a w  t h i s:

OKAY I. I HAVE EXTREMELY MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT THIS. ON THE ONE HAND I’M GLAD THE DEV ISN’T FUCKING SWINDLING PEOPLE OUT OF $20 ANYMORE BUT ON THE OTHER HAND FUCK YOU DEV YOU SWINDLED TONS OF PEOPLE OUT OF $20 AND NOW YOU MAKE THIS SHIT -=FREE?!?!=- EVEN HAVING GOTTEN THIS PIECE OF CRAP ON SALE I -STILL- PAID MORE THAN YOU GODDAM “SUPPORT DONATION” PRICE.

And speaking of which, am I weird to be offended that the donation amount is still $10?? I’ve seen lots of free-to-play games have things like this, but in those cases 1) you almost always got something FOR the donation, like an extra bit of content or the soundtrack or something, and 2) it’s normally like ONE dollar, not frickin’ TEN.

Oh, but that’s not all. Once I recovered from the slight seizure I had at this info, I vaguely wondered about the “sequel” to Major/Minor (I have no idea if it’s actually a sequel but it was advertised as such), Winds of Change. I made the mistake of scrolling down aaaaaand:

YEP, WE’RE BACK TO THAT FUCKING $20 PRICE POINT. I’m reasonably sure that’s been its price since it came out, but silly me, I had a minor (lol) glimmer of hope that if the “price” of Major/Minor had come down then MAYBE this dev had reassessed his work in general and cut down the price on the other one, too. But this is just a day for my dreams to be dashed, I guess!

Also, can we take a moment to vomit over this?

No sir, you do NOT get to boast about a 97% positive review score when you were so well known for using SUPER shady techniques to manipulate the review score average for your previous game (which, by the way, was exactly how Major/Minor swindled me in the first place).

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! As if I hadn’t already punished myself enough, I then made the mistake of actually CLICKING that little banner, and oh what the FUCK do I find but this:

LOL I’M SORRY, WHAT? YOU’RE CHARGING $20 FOR THE GAME AND $10 FOR THE SOUNDTRACK? AND HOLY SHIT, LOOK HOW GENEROUS THAT DISCOUNT IS IF YOU BUY BOTH OF THEM TOGETHER!

All I can say is that I sure as FUCK hope this game at least hired an actual musician to create an original soundtrack and that THAT is at least worth its price -- AND that said money goes directly and specifically TO that musician, and not to this shady fucking dev.

And at this point, I’m sure some of you are thinking that I’m being an incredibly outrageous bitch because I’m shouting about a game that I’ve never played, so I have no idea if it’s actually an improvement over its predecessor. I will freely admit this! I am completely judging this game without ever having played it; however, all I’ll say is that this is part of the consequences of the dev having been so fucking shady the first time around, because my trust is COMPLETELY destroyed between the shitty experience I had and the ridiculous crap that other users faced. I’ll never give this dev any of my money again, so whether or not Winds of Change is better than Major/Minor is irrelevant, because I will never, EVER play it, not even for charity. I’d sooner just plain donate the cost of the game to charity directly, because it’d do more good there than in this dev’s pocket.

So in conclusion, fuck this dev and fuck these games and fuck the hours I am apparently STILL devoting to this miserable experience, thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

#god should I add this post to my Major/Minor tag? #eh who fucking cares that tag doesn't even work right anyway #that's why I have all the old posts linked together #maybe I'll add this post to the end of the playthrough #just for one last moment of boggling

[teacupfulofstarshine]

LOVELY, DARK, AND DEEP CHAPTER 10

PLEASE HEED THE CONTENT WARNINGS!!! this chapter features Evil Scientist Lady and her Fucked Up WorldView a LOT, and there are also some Major Plot Events that involve Violence. i will put a summary in the end notes if you decide at any point that this particular chapter is too much - that's super valid! i will also mention here that no main characters are going to die in this story and no one dies in this chapter either.

huge huge thanks to @flamingfawkes for beta’ing!

CW: extreme disregard for human life, mentioned human and animal cruelty, toxic workplace environment, violence (both imagined and actual, mildly graphic), gun mention, minor blood, death threats, extremely unethical character, unethical science, stalking

chapter 1 // chapter 2 // chapter 3 // chapter 4 // chapter 5 // chapter 6 // chapter 7 // chapter 8 // chapter 9 // read it on ao3!

“This is the same result we’ve gotten the last twenty times -”

“I don’t care, Steven, run it again!”

Steven sighs, punching at the keyboard to run the statistical analysis sequence again. “This is ridiculous! I’ve run this sequence so many times it feels like my eyes are going to bleed. Why can’t we just turn in the results we have and -”

“Because she’ll behead us,” James snaps, “and then she’ll destroy our reputations and our families and they’ll get no severance. I have three young children at home, Steven, I need this money.” Steven softens a little, fingers running smoothly over the keys as he combs the data again. Next to him, James has a computer screen full of frame-by-frame stills of what little data they recovered from the probe before it was destroyed; Penny across the room is surrounded by ancient texts a mile high and at least three laptops.

“Why is she so interested in this, anyway?”

“It’s beyond me. Since when do we question the whims of what we’re told to do?”

Steven squints at the screen, pushing his chair back and rubbing at his eyes. “If I have to stare at these numbers for one more second, my brain is going to explode. I feel like my eyeballs are going to melt out of my skull. I wanna scream.”

James pulls up another image, staring at the blurry image of the merman before him. Steven pushes away from his own screen and squints at James’s. The merman in the photo looks young, not much older than his kid brother, but they don’t know anything about the lifespan of these creatures. He looks confused, squinting at the camera. As James flicks through the stills, the merman transitions from confused to angry to enraged, and then he attacks.

“He’s not happy about the camera.”

“Would you be happy about someone spying on you and your family?” James says, switching to the next still.

“I wouldn’t be happy if I thought someone was doing anything we do in this lab to me or my family.” James elbows Steven, but luckily no one else seems to have heard.

“This lab isn’t the most ethical place I’ve ever worked, but it pays the bills,” James mutters. “And we’re not even in the experimentation lab. We just do data analysis. We’re removed from the situation.”

Are we? Steven wonders. He sees James reach out and touch the framed picture of his daughters, and keeps his mouth shut. He turns back to his computer, watching the little spinning color wheel of his mouse as the program calculates the same numbers again and again. The results come up identical to the previous ones, and Steven clicks “Run Program” again wordlessly.

They work in silence for a while, the three of them, broken only by James’s muttering and the occasional thud of one of Penny’s books and the clicks of keyboards and mice. If they weren’t so reliant on technology, Steven thinks, there would be an enormous corkboard spanning three of the four walls, covered in pushpins and handwriting and red string connecting images. He debates actually building one, if only to increase the levity in the room, but decides against it.

He’s seen people punished or fired or who-knows-what-else for far less, after all.

Instead, after his program tells him for the twenty-third time that his results are the same (and didn’t someone say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?), Steven scrubs at his eyes with the heels of his palms and opens the data entry window. Maybe the problem with the results has to do with the entry of the data; did he input something wrong? It’s possible . . .

Here he goes again, he supposes. He stands up, stretches, and leans back to crack some vertebrae. “I’m gonna grab a coffee, take a short screen break, and go back to the beginning. Maybe there’s something in the input that I missed. You want anything?”

James groans, thunking his head against the desk. “I want something with enough caffeine to kill three elephants, please.” Steven nods, looking over at Penny. She shakes her head, and he heads for the shitty coffee machine a few doors down.

Several floors below, a young woman pulls her lab goggles up to rest on top of her head with her perfectly-pinned protocol-compliant bun. “The latest round of tests is completely done, ma’am. I think you’ll find the efficacy . . . striking.”

She takes the clipboard, glossy perfectly-painted nails pinching the sheets of thin paper and flicking between them. “I’m afraid I don’t do so well with the scientific side of things - Kathleen, was it? Explain this to me, would you?”

“Certainly, ma’am. As you know, the kill time for the most effective neurotoxin currently available, tetrodotoxin, varies from thirty minutes to four hours. Average time for symptoms to manifest is seventeen minutes, and from there the symptoms progress through tingling of the lips and tongue, headache, vomiting, muscle weakness, ataxia, et cetera. Death occurs as a result of respiratory or heart failure, and the poison is nearly undetectable if you do not specifically test for it.”

“The untraceability is a plus, but that is far too wide a range of times, and too slow a time even at its fastest.”

“Of course, ma’am, but as far as naturally-occurring marine poisons go - actually, as far as naturally-occurring poisons go, full stop - it is the most effective. Until now, that is.”

“Oh? What are your findings?”

“Which trials would you like to start with, ma’am?”

“The human trials, Kathleen. The only ones that matter. I hardly intend to go around killing mice and hoping that no one traces their deaths to a novel neurotoxin.” She laughs airily, and Kathleen nods along.

“Certainly, ma’am. The most recent data points indicate an average efficacy time of thirteen minutes for our compound neurotoxin, with a full range between nine and seventeen minutes passing before subject death. Subjects began to show symptoms around five minutes, give or take twenty-five seconds.”

“And those symptoms were?”

Kathleen flips through the document. “Seizures, vital organ failure, blindness, painful muscle spasms, suffocation from the inside out.”

She hums, tapping a manicured finger against the report. “Well, Kathleen, that is certainly impressive, especially for a preliminary human subject trial. These results . . . I must say, they are not nearly as disappointing as I anticipated when I came down here.”

“Ma’am?”

“How long have you worked for this company, Kathleen?”

“Almost five years, ma’am, but I’ve always been an assistant. This is my first time as lead researcher and biochemist on a project, ever since you . . . laid off the previous lead researcher.”

“Kathleen, let me be frank. These results are not what I hoped for. The efficacy time and symptom onset times are both far too long for my liking, and the range of efficacy time is too broad. By all accounts, I should consider this a failure.” Kathleen swallows, but remains poised. “However, you’ve managed to shave off a considerable amount of time from the tetrodotoxin readings. The range of symptom onset time is an acceptable breadth, and your results are far beyond anything your predecessor ever accomplished for me. This is truly impressive, all things considered.”

“Thank you, ma’am. How should I proceed?”

“I want the efficacy doubled - tripled - I want it upped by anywhere between four and five hundred percent. I want the pain increased, too. Feel free to increase your requests for test subjects, but get me the results I want. You said the original tetrodotoxin was untraceable?”

“That’s correct, ma’am.”

“Can you keep that feature intact?”

“As of right now, it is intact, ma’am. I will endeavor to keep it so in future experiments.”

“That’s what I like to hear. Welcome to your new position as head of this research division. Don’t let me down.” She holds out a slender hand, and Kathleen takes it, trying not to seem too eager.

“I won’t, ma’am.”

“How soon can you start this experiment up again?”

“The cleaners should be finished by tomorrow morning, ma’am, and I can tweak chemical formulas until then.”

“Excellent.” Her watch beeps, and she lifts it, pursing her bright lips as she examines the message she’s just received. “If you’ll excuse me, I have another matter to attend to. Someone will drop off your master access key for Lab Three within the hour.”

She steps into the elevator and lifts her watch up to her face, swiping through the messages from her secretary. One finger reaches out to press the button for the digital analysis labs floor, and the other taps away at her watch.

When she steps off the elevator, her secretary is waiting. “Ma’am.”

“What do they have for me?”

“Unclear. They said it was something they wanted to report directly to you and you alone, but it seems to be something big.”

“Hopefully it’s a big step in the right direction, or they’ll be taking a big step out of a job.” She relishes in the way the employees she passes all unfailingly flinch and then snap to perfect attention when they hear the sharp echo of her heels against the floor. She lifts her head and walks faster, striking the tiles with her heels like a gavel, sharp and precise against a judge’s desk.

The computer labs are disorganized when she enters, but there is a string of promising-looking numbers on the main display monitor. There is a woman surrounded by books and a man pulling up photos on his computer, and there is a third man standing in front of her like a toy soldier. She focuses on that one.

“I hear you have news for me? Make it swift, and make it good.”

He swallows, hard, and her eyes idly trace the line of his throat. If he disappoints her, perhaps she will drive her heel through it, to make an example of him. That would be far too messy; perhaps his dominant hand will do.

“I have narrowed down the location of the missing net, ma’am. I believe it to have washed up somewhere around these general GPS coordinates.” He fiddles with a remote in his hand, and the image on the screen changes. It shows an aerial satellite view of a secluded strip of beach, framed by rocky cliffs with larger rocks studded out into the open water. “It should have washed up somewhere in this one-point-three-seven-mile strip of beach. The whole area is property of one Doctor Thomas Sanders.”

She snarls. “That man. He won’t let us on that beach willingly until hell freezes over.”

The other man, the one scanning through photo stills and video footage, jumps up, knocking his chair backwards. “I found something!”

She turns towards him, and his excitement freezes and sputters into something much more controlled and terrified. “Show me.” He clicks something and pulls up video footage from one of their surveillance drones, zooming in on a particular patch of ocean along the stretch of Sanders’ beach. Her eyes widen when she sees what he’d noticed - a hump of red-and-white tail arcing above the waves before a pattern of ripples streaks off towards the cliff. He pauses the footage, rewinds it, uses a laser pointer to show an opening concealed in the cliff face.

“There’s some kind of grotto in there, hidden by the cliff. It’s on Sanders’ property, he has to know it’s there. And it looks like the merman from the destroyed drone knows it’s there too. Which means -”

“That must be where he’s keeping them.” Something burns in her chest, brilliant and terrifying and all-encapsulating, like wildfire. “We’ve found them, at long last.”

“What would you have me do?” her secretary asks. “I can arrange for a recovery squad at your earliest possible convenience, ma’am.”

“Assemble the squad, but do not have them move out. They will wait for my orders. When they go, you are to go with them.” Her secretary nods, once, sharp and sure. “Dispatch a crew to Lab One and clear it out. I want it prepped for containment, vivisection, chemical tests - the works. Get at least three tanks set up and one strap-down human table.”

“A human table, ma’am?”

“Yes. We have to deal with Sanders once and for all to ensure that he does not ruin any future experiments.”

“Will we be taking him as well?”

She hums thoughtfully. “No. Pull up the file we have on his known associate?”

A few swift clicks and flicks and a photo appears on the large screen: a young man with brown-and-purple hair, sleeves rolled up, carefully lowering a perfectly viable specimen into the ocean and letting it go, like some kind of fool. “His doctoral student, ma’am. The longest one he’s ever kept - this one has been with him a few years.”

“Excellent. When you raid the lab, take him.”

“Should we kill Sanders?”

“No. Rough him up a little, but leave him alive. Taking his protégé and leaving him alone, helpless to rescue him, will be the highest form of torture for such an insufferable person. The agony will eat him alive until his dying day.”

Her secretary nods, taking the notes down dutifully. The other employees look vaguely horrified, but she pays them no mind. No sacrifice is too great to be made in the name of progress, and anyone who thinks otherwise is a weakling who will never get anywhere in life.

She refuses to be one of those weaklings.

*~*~*~*~*

Logan wakes up confused.

He’s warm, warmer than he thinks he’s ever been in his whole life. When he stirs, he moves farther than he meant to - he must not be underwater. That’s enough to send a jolt of concern through his sleep-addled brain. Why isn’t he underwater? Why was he sleeping if he was above the surface? There’s no way his dad is here, and Roman hates surfacing, where are they? Where is he? But he’s so comfortable . . .

Someone shifts beside him, an arm draping across his waist, and Logan forces his eyes open. He shifts his lower half, confused when two things move instead of one, and there are layers upon layers of thin, flat, soft things wrapping around him. What is happening?

Slowly, slowly, his mind clears, and he remembers the events of last night. He grew legs - he was a human, once, before he was mer - he couldn’t sleep underwater with Dad and Roman - Virgil was teaching him to walk - Virgil put “clothes” on him - Virgil was embarrassed that he didn’t have those “clothes” on him - Virgil took him out of the lab to sleep - Virgil agreed to cuddle him since his pod couldn’t -

Logan feels the strange burning in his face again as he shifts. He can’t see well in this new human form, but when things are close enough to his face they’re relatively clear. And Virgil, still sleeping, is close enough that Logan can smell him - he smells like salt water mixed with something sharp and something sweet and something else that Logan can’t quite identify but finds addicting nonetheless. Sunlight streams in and pools around Virgil’s face, illuminating the tangled mess of hair spread around him and flopping into his face, the small puddle of water leaking out from his open mouth onto the soft thing he’s resting his head on, the way his chest moves slowly with every breath. His arm is wrapped around Logan, pulling him close. Logan thinks he might explode if he focuses on this any more, so he rolls from his side to his back as carefully as he can, not wanting to wake Virgil. Virgil tightens his arm around Logan and mutters something indecipherable in his sleep, but he doesn’t wake.

Rather than focusing on his very confusing feelings for the very pretty man next to him, Logan focuses on what he can see of the room around him. He makes a list in his mind of things that he plans to ask Virgil about later today, including:

1: There are many draws attached to the small, smooth cliffs surrounding them. How do they stay there?

2: There are lots of “clothes” scattered all around the floor, and there were several on the bed, too. Is that normal for humans?

3: Last night, Virgil did something that made the room light up with trapped sunlight! How did he do that?

4: How did Virgil get ice to stay in those big frozen sheets in such a warm place to let the sunlight in?

5: How did Virgil make ice into that weird shape that he filled with water and drank last night?

6: How did Virgil get the water to come into this place?

7: Do all humans have a specific area set aside for sleeping? Logan and his pod usually just sleep wherever they can, but Virgil seems to have this soft slab set aside with all of these soft things to be comfortable and sleep in every night. Is this a Human Thing or strictly a Virgil Thing?

Logan looks out through the sheet of ice that protects Virgil’s area from the outside and gasps. He can’t see well, but there’s a glittering expanse of blue that shifts and moves and oh, is that the ocean?

He’s spent his whole life (well, his whole remembered life, anyways) in the ocean, and he’s seen some truly wondrous things. He travels around the world with his pod, he knows the ocean is big, but seeing it spread out like this is . . . awe-inspiring. Logan has never seen the ocean like this, and now that he has he doesn’t think he can ever not see it like this again. It’s like a perfect sheet of sea-glass, rippling and unbroken but dynamic in a way that he never really gets a sense of when he’s beneath it.

He knows that there are waves, of course. There are smaller swells out on the open ocean, and larger ones when the Second Goddess dips her fingers down from the Upper Ocean and swirls the storms to a thundering burst. There are waves along the shoreline, ones that he frolics in with Roman and batter him against the shoreline. There are waves created when he or his pod members surface. But watching the movement of the ocean from up here is . . .

Even with his imperfect vision, he is completely at a loss for words as he stares at the ocean.

Eventually, Virgil stirs next to him, and Logan turns away from the ocean to stare at him. Virgil is close to him, arms wrapped tightly around him, face pressed against him. Logan’s eyesight is not great, but Virgil is close enough that he can pick out little details of his face. There are brown face scales scattered all over him, but they seem to cluster on his nose and his cheeks. Logan has wanted to touch them for a substantial amount of time, and he can’t stop himself from gently settling the tips of his fingers over Virgil’s cheek.

His face doesn’t feel like Logan was expecting. The scales don’t give texture to his face the way that Logan’s do; the skin is smooth and flat. There are little bumps all over, but the brown scales aren’t raised off the skin like Logan expected. He lets his fingers trail along Virgil’s face. His bone structure seems to be exceedingly similar to Logan’s, at least in regards to his head. Logan’s finger rests gently on the curve of bone under Virgil’s eye, and Virgil exhales warm breath onto his palm.

Logan wonders what it would be like to have this for longer than just his recovery period. He wonders what it would be like to wake up next to Virgil all the time, to get to run his hands over Virgil’s face and arms and chest and examine the differences between their anatomy. He wonders what it would be like to learn to walk without falling over, and he feels a sharp, unexpected twinge in his chest as he realizes that getting better at walking means no more closeness to Virgil.

His chest feels strange, like there’s a school of small fish swarming around and tickling his insides and making him feel all foamy, like the froth churned up by a windswept sea. He feels like he does when he’s underwater - free, weightless, mobile, limited by nothing except his own imagination. He feels unstoppable.

Virgil makes a sudden, sharp inhale, blinking his eyes open slowly. Logan thinks that, perhaps, he might not appreciate being studied unknowingly - he hadn’t appreciated Virgil doing it, before he understood what was happening, when all he knew was the loss of his pod aching like a scraped-out seashell. As Virgil wakes up, Logan shifts, turning his gaze to the rest of the room.

Virgil makes a sleepy grumbling noise, opening one eye. Logan chances another quick glance at him, and when his eye slides open Logan is struck by its beauty. He doesn’t get much of a chance to admire it, however, before Virgil is jolting backwards like Logan’s struck him with lightning. Logan is confused, reaching out and gently touching his shoulder. “Virgil?”

“Wassat?! Wait . . . L’gan?”

“It is me,” Logan says softly. “Are - are you upset with me?”

Virgil yawns, jaw dropping to his chest, revealing a flash of teeth and a soft pink tongue. (Logan wants to lick it. Why does Logan want to lick it? Why is Logan thinking about Virgil’s tongue licking his tongue - why is Logan thinking about Virgil - what in the Seven Oceans is happening to him.) “Wh - no, no, ‘m okay, I just - woke up, forgot I had you with me, got confused about another person in my bed.” Before Logan can start to feel bad, Virgil adds, “S’okay if it’s you, though,” and the foamy, floaty feeling is back.

“Did you sleep well?”

Virgil laughs, low and rumbling, and Logan can feel it in his fingers where he touches Virgil’s skin. “I never sleep well.” He sits up, and the fabric of his pajamas shifts to let Logan see stretches of soft, supple skin that he usually doesn’t. Logan wants to touch it. He very determinedly keeps his hand on Virgil’s shoulder. “Gotta admit, though, last night was . . . better than usual.”

This appears to be the point where Virgil first notices their position - pressed together, arm slung over Logan, basically cuddling the way that Logan normally would with his pod. (No tangle with his pod has ever felt this . . . electric, this charged, this important to Logan before.) His face flares a brilliant red, and he shifts like he wants to move away but -

“I’m sorry,” Virgil says. “Am I making you uncomfortable?”

“No!” Logan blurts out. Virgil blinks at him a little, and maybe he was a little overly enthusiastic, but - “I sleep in a tangle with Dad and Roman all the time. I have extreme difficulty sleeping without contact with someone else. It . . . helped me greatly.”

“Oh,” Virgil says, face turning redder still, smiling shyly. “That - makes me feel better. Thanks, Lo.”

Logan smiles, and Virgil smiles too, reaching up to gently move a piece of hair away from his face. Logan thinks that, as far as deaths go, his chest exploding (which seems to be getting more and more likely every fifteen seconds he spends in Virgil’s presence, only accelerated by all this skin-on-skin contact they’re having right now) seems to be the most pleasurable.

Virgil opens his mouth to say something, but whatever it was is interrupted by a Ping! noise from across the room. “What is that?” Logan asks. Virgil, sadly, untangles himself from Logan and the blankets, sliding out of bed and heading over to one of the other structures in the room (what did he call it last night? Dex?) and picking up a flat glowing rectangle.

“Is everything alright?”

“What? Yeah, yeah, I - Thomas sent me a text, it’s a little weird.”

“What is a text?”

“It’s a kind of human messaging system, it allows us to communicate when we’re far away from each other.”

“Like a pod call?” “Kind of? I’ll explain more later, I promise, I just - I gotta go down to the lab real quick.”

“I’ll come with -”

“No!” Virgil snaps. Logan flinches, and Virgil softens, crossing the room and gently touching his shoulder. “Hey, no, Logan, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I just - this message, there’s something off. I think something might be wrong, and I don’t want to put you in any unnecessary danger. Just - wait here, okay? Wait in my room, where it’s safe. It’s probably nothing, he’s probably fine, but on the off chance that he’s not, I want you to stay hidden safely up here.”

Logan isn’t sure why this makes his face heat up slightly, but it does. “Okay. I accept your apology, and I . . . trust you.”

Virgil smiles, soft and heartwarming, and Logan is beginning to give more credence to his “chest explosion is fine, actually” theory. “Wait for me here, okay? I’ll be right back. I promise.”

He leaves, shutting the door firmly behind him, and the foamy feeling in Logan’s chest dissipates a little. He can’t quite put his finger on it, but there’s something . . . off. If Logan didn’t know better, he’d think that he was sensing a predator approaching.

But that can’t be right, he isn’t underwater. His danger senses are likely just overreacting to his disappointment at Virgil’s absence.

. . . Right?

*~*~*~*~*

Thomas is beginning to regret letting Roman and Patton (specifically, Roman) out of the large tank before finishing his first coffee of the morning.

“I want some!” Roman complains.

“Do you even know what it is?” Thomas says. Roman pouts sulkily at him.

“. . . No,” he mutters, rolling his eyes. Thomas gives him the deadpan, no-nonsense, I-am-your-direct-superior-take-the-damn-samples-Virgil stare that he has perfected over the past few years. Roman wilts a little more, and Thomas feels slightly bad.

“It’s called coffee,” he says. “It’s a hot drink that lots of people have in the morning. Some people drink it plain, and some people add things to it to change the way it tastes. It helps me wake up more and get focused to start my day, and sometimes I drink it late at night to help keep me awake.”

Roman looks less like a kicked puppy and more like Logan, eyes wide and curious. “I want some!”

Thomas, taking a sip of his own two-seconds-of-cream-five-cubes-of-sugar coffee, nearly spits it out. He looks at Roman, eyes the very sharp, very detachable, very toxic spines covering his body, and says, “No.”

Roman’s demeanor changes entirely, switching from “curious toddler” to “toddler about to throw a temper tantrum” in a heartbeat. “Why not?!”

“Because when people drink coffee without being used to it, sometimes it makes them a little crazy.”

“I’m not crazy!”

“Do I need to recount to you how many times you’ve threatened me and my assistant since we met you?” Thomas says, raising an eyebrow. “I’m not giving you coffee until I know I can trust you not to stab me with your poisonous spines that cover your entire body and can be fired at people.”

Roman pouts more, dropping under the water and letting out a gratingly harmonious string of mer that Thomas is pretty sure translates to Roman bitching about the coffee situation to his dad. Based on the pattern of Patton’s response, he’s pretty sure Patton is laughing at Roman.

More sulky chalkboard-violin music, and then Roman resurfaces grumpily. “Dad agrees with you and says no consuming strange human foods.”

“Did he laugh at you?”

Roman squints suspiciously at him. “You can’t speak our language.”

“Yeah, but I know what it sounds like when a dad laughs at his kid.” Roman, continuing to pout, sinks back into the tank, presumably to sulk some more. Thomas takes another very long sip of coffee that is definitely too hot for his mouth and turns back to his desk.

Virgil should definitely be awake and in the lab at this point. The samples he’s supposed to be analyzing are sitting in their little tubes, each neatly labelled with locations and dates and times and what, specifically, Virgil is supposed to be looking for. Thomas considers going upstairs and waking up Virgil, who’s almost never been late for work in this way, but he decides against it. Virgil is upstairs with Logan, and Thomas knows that there’s something building between them. He’s not sure how advisable that something is, but he trusts Virgil to make his own decisions.

Besides, he could probably use some practice. His water sample analysis skills are pretty rusty, he’s had Virgil doing them for years. “Virgil, you owe me big time for what I’m doing for you.” He carefully shifts the samples over to his own desk, slides his earbuds in, picks up a pipette, and gets to work analyzing the bacterial and algal concentrations for any abnormalities.

Thomas accomplishes about forty-five minutes’ worth of work before Roman interrupts him by flicking water at him and soaking the back of his neck. “Hey!”

“I tried your name, but your little ear bug things were keeping you from hearing me,” Roman says smugly. Thomas, not for the first time, considers retreating to the closet and throwing beakers until he feels better.

“Can I help you?”

“Dad wants to go hunting and bring back breakfast, but we can’t leave without you.”

“Are you not going hunting?”

“I’m going to stay here and observe you,” Roman says.

Thomas blinks. “Do I . . . need observing?”

“How do I know you won’t sell us out to your little human friends the second you get a chance? If I’m here, I can stop you. Plus, what if you do something to Logan while we’re not here to protect him? No, no, I’m staying right where I am and you can’t make me leave.” His spines ripple; Thomas steps closer to a whiteboard in case he needs to duck.

“I’m not going to do that, and I don’t want you to stab me.”

“Still! I’m staying here! Also, Dad’s bigger than me, and he’s a better hunter cause he’s faster and he’s been hunting longer.

“Does he need something to help him carry all those fish?” Thomas asks. Roman opens his mouth like he’s going to say something snarky, pauses, and stops.

“I . . . usually we just eat what we catch when we catch it. We make a pile of prey and take turns guarding it while the other two hunt. Then we make a sacrifice to the Seven Mother Goddesses and eat what’s left.”

After some debate, Thomas is able to fashion a sling of sorts from some waterproof tarps and leftover anchor rope to tie around Patton’s body. “You can put the fish in this pouch and carry them back here. Will you be able to navigate your way back to the grotto?”

“He will,” Roman says. “Dad knows more about the ocean than any human possibly could.” Another discordant song from the tank, chastising, and Roman huffs. “Dad wants me to reassure you that he’ll be fine.”

Patton settles into the mobile tank easily, and Thomas gets him down to the grotto leading towards the sea. “When you come back, let out one of your pod calls and Virgil or I will come and collect you and your catch. Take as much time as you need, okay?”

Patton reaches up and gently pats Thomas’s arm with one large, damp hand, and Thomas takes that to mean an agreement. “Alright, off you go.” There’s a whoosh and a rush of water as it flows from the tank into the grotto in a clean arc, carrying Patton with it. Thomas waits for a moment, letting Patton disappear into the open ocean, before returning to the laboratory.

Roman, for the most part, ignores Thomas. He asks the occasional question, which Thomas tries to answer in a way that he’ll understand, and leans over the edge of his touch tank, eyes guarded. Every time Thomas sneaks a glance, when he thinks Roman isn’t looking, his expression is wide-eyed and wondrous, like Logan’s usually are, but the moment he realizes Thomas is watching him his entire face closes up like a clamshell.

Thomas wonders what it’ll take to get Roman to trust him, trust Virgil, trust any human. Granted, he doesn’t know Roman’s history with humans, but he and Patton are both fairly scarred, and Thomas might not know the whole story but he’d bet a not-insignificant amount of his monthly income that the giant starburst scar taking up the majority of Patton’s chest isn’t the result of a clash with a marine creature.

He works quietly, fielding the occasional question, keeping one ear on the grotto tunnel for Patton’s return. He’s not sure how long he expected Patton to be gone, but he hears movement in the grotto tunnel far sooner than he’d expected.

“Thomas, what’s -”

“Shhhh,” Thomas says. He stands up, pushing away from his desk, but before he can say anything else, there’s a flood of movement coming from the tunnel. Bodies pour into the lab, swift and strong and carrying weapons that they immediately train on Thomas and Roman.

“What is this?” Roman snaps, bristling. He sounds betrayed, like he thinks Thomas is behind this. Thomas picks up a heavy glass beaker, fully prepared to shatter it upside someone’s skull if necessary, but something heavy and hard strikes the back of his skull and he feels his knees crumple. Roman cries out, and Thomas struggles to push himself up. A hand fists itself in his hair and yanks him upright, sharply. Thomas exhales sharply through his teeth, but before he can start struggling, something cool and round rests against the back of his neck, shutting him up and shutting his brain down.

Roman is puffed up like a hedgehog, apparently fully prepared to defend Thomas despite his strong and inherent mistrust. Before he can begin to attack, Thomas hears the click-click-click of shoes on the hard stone floor. Whoever’s holding his head yanks him back again, and he is forced to watch as a woman walks into his laboratory.

(It sounds like the beginning of a bad joke - a sick, horrible, twisted joke.)

She has black heels, black tights, a black pencil skirt, a black blazer, and a blood-red blouse. Her hair is scraped back into a tight bun, pulled so taut it must hurt, and is held in place with a pitch black stick. She carries a - clipboard? tablet? Unclear - held against her chest, and there’s a sleek silver weapon in her right hand.

“The one from the video?” she asks.

“Affirmative, ma’am,” says the person holding Thomas’s head. The woman nods, lifting her weapon, and fires at Roman. Thomas tries to scream a warning, earning himself another painful yank from his captor, but the projectile lodges itself in Roman’s shoulder anyway.

It isn’t a bullet, but something that looks like a small syringe. Roman swats it out of his shoulder, swaying a little, but it doesn’t stop him from swiping at the - mercenary, they must be - who tries to grab him with his elbow spines. The woman frowns, lifts the weapon - some kind of tranquilizer gun? - and fires again.

Roman screams, inhuman and animal, and tears the newest dart from his arm, throwing himself out of his tank and clinging to the nearest mercenary. His teeth tear into the man’s shoulder, spines piercing through his camouflage clothing and flooding him with neurotoxin. The man collapses against the concrete, alive but unconscious, and Roman snarls at the next man as though daring him to approach. He sways, weakened but awake, and bares his teeth.

“Of course,” the woman says, tapping something on her tablet. “His naturally produced neurotoxin must be providing him with some level of natural resistance. Unexpected, but not a limitation.”

It takes three more tranquilizer darts before Roman finally slumps down into his tank, unconscious. The mercenaries look hesitant to approach him, but the woman reaches for her tablet and they scramble to action at once.

“No - no, stop, let him go, he’s not an animal for you to cart off to your lab -” Thomas starts. The man holding him knees him sharply in the back and he cries out, coughing.

They wrap Roman in thick leather bands, roughly shoving his spines flat and binding them against his skin so that he can’t attack them again. The woman nods, once, short and sharp, and they drag Roman away, letting his head bang mercilessly on the ground. Thomas catches a glimpse of a logo - emblazoned on the back of the jackets, on the back of the woman’s tablet, on the side of her tranquilizer gun - and commits it to memory. He’s going to need it, if he gets out of here alive.

“- your phone,” the woman says, and oh, when did she get in front of him.

“My what?”

His mouth runs dry as she places the tranquilizer gun under his chin, barrel pressing against his throat, and tips his chin up. “I said, give me your phone.”

Thomas blinks. “My - the desk. It’s on the desk.”

She sets her tablet down, picks up his phone, and shoves it in his face. “Open it.”

“I - wh -”

“Unlock your phone, Dr. Sanders. Must I repeat myself a third time?” She rolls her eyes. “Doctorates are wasted on people like you.”

Thomas numbly punches in his passcode, and she swipes through to his messages app, frowning before turning the screen towards his face to reveal a message thread with Virgil. “Is this your assistant?”

Thomas glares at her, he’s not going to give her what she wants, he’s not going to just give her Virgil but then the - gun, it must be a gun, what else would they be holding against his neck like this - pushes into him harder, and it’s probably bruising, and he can’t get himself killed here because then he definitely won’t be able to take care of Virgil and -

“Yes,” Thomas says, hating himself for giving in so easily. “What do you -”

She turns away from him, nails clicking against his phone screen as she sends a text message - to Virgil, presumably, and that makes his heart sink like a stone - before dropping it on the floor and stepping on it to shatter it. “I have a message for you.”

“A - what?”

“Did they really hit you that hard, or were you this stupid before we came here?” she says coldly, picking up the tablet again and tapping at the screen. Thomas groans as the man yanks him to his feet, shoving him onto his chair and pulling a roll of duct tape out of one of his multiple pants pockets. He tapes Thomas’s wrists and ankles to the chair, keeping his weapon trained on Thomas’s temple at all times, before pressing it roughly against his head and gripping his hair again.

The woman sets the tablet on his lab table, and the screen flickers to life, and then there’s a woman in front of a dark black backdrop, smiling at him like a cat who’s caught a canary. “Thomas Sanders. How long I’ve waited for this day.”

Thomas recognizes her. He knows he recognizes her. She used to be his classmate, before . . .

His head hurts, so badly that he can barely keep his eyes open, and the memory slips away. “You . . . why are you doing this?”

“Why? Because I am a real scientist, unlike you. You refuse to do what is necessary, what must be done for the progression of the species. The sacrifice of some worthless animals is necessary for humanity to reach its zenith. You would really hinder the entire human race for the preservation of lower life forms?”

“Wh - I -”

“You think that ‘preserving the ecosystem’ and ‘keeping animals alive’ makes you a good scientist, but it makes you weak. You are weak, Thomas Sanders, and if the world was left in the hands of people like you, the human race as we know it would die out in a few centuries. Fortunately, there are people like me, who understand what must be done.”

“Caring about other people and things - it doesn’t - it doesn’t make you weak,” Thomas says, chest heaving, and the woman just laughs.

“One of many logical fallacies to which you subscribe, Thomas. They really gave you a doctorate? Of course caring makes you weak. All emotions make you weak. They corrupt your data and make your experiments worthless. You must be ruthless. You must be willing to do whatever it takes to pursue your goals and achieve the height of success. But no.” She rolls her eyes, face hardening, twirling a pen in her fingers. “You insist on ethics and principles and letting emotions cloud your judgement, and that makes you a failure as a scientist. It makes you weak. Your attachments will be your downfall.”

Thomas’s eyes slide shut, head pounding, and the man behind him yanks at his hair so sharply that he knows some has been ripped out. He forces his eyes open in time to see a smile slide across the woman’s face like a knife, teeth gleaming white as sun-bleached bone.

“You won’t - get away with this,” Thomas manages. He grinds his teeth together and curls his hands into fists, digging his nails into his palms to keep himself awake. “If you leave me alive -” Thomas, stop talking, why are you reminding her that she has the option to fucking kill you “- I will not rest until I find you. I’ll - you can’t -”

“You’ll what, Thomas? If you call the police, you’ll expose those creatures you’re so intent on protecting to the world. Are you really willing to take that chance?” Before Thomas can even begin formulating a response, she steamrolls him. “It doesn’t matter. Even if you were, I’m going to take some . . . insurance, shall we say.”

“Why not just kill me?” Thomas spits. Excellent idea, Doc, poke the murderous lady with a stick like a god damn hornet’s nest, the tiny Virgil in his brain hisses. Her smile, somehow, only widens, and that’s . . . that can’t be good, can it? Smiles are supposed to be good! They’re supposed to make you happy, but all Thomas feels is creeping dread and pain, so much pain, and -

Yeah. He’s . . . pretty sure he has a concussion.

“Because if I kill you, you get to take the easy way out. Your suffering will end. But unlike you, I don’t put limits on my science. I know how to cause you the maximum amount of pain.”

Thomas eyes the toxin gun, but the on-screen woman just laughs. “Not yet, Thomas. We need something from you, first.”

“You already took Roman,” Thomas says. “What more can you possibly take from me?”

“You named it? You’re even weaker than I thought.”

“He told me his name, he’s not an it, he’s not a thing for you to play with and - and I -”

There’s a strange sinking feeling in Thomas’s chest as the woman onscreen laughs. “I knew you were emotional, Thomas, but I can’t believe this! It looks like I’ll have more hanging over your head than you thought.”

“You -”

“Say, Tommy-boy, have you heard from your precious little assistant recently?”

Thomas’s entire body flushes ice-cold and then white-hot, immediately struggling against his duct tape bindings despite the man tearing at his hair and shoving the gun into his neck and snapping at him to shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up before I do something we’re both gonna regret -

“Don’t you touch him!” Thomas snaps. “If you hurt him, I swear to God -”

“You’re not in a position to be making demands, and if you don’t calm down, I’ll paint your boring little lab bright red.” Thomas freezes, holding his entire body tensed like electricity is running through his blood.

There are footsteps on the stairs. “Doc? I got your text, what’s -”

“Virgil, run!” Thomas chokes. Virgil comes around the corner, holding his phone, staring at the screen in confusion. He looks up, eyes widening in horror as he takes in the scene.

“You know what to do,” the woman onscreen says. The other woman lifts her tranquilizer gun, and Thomas is sure that he’s screaming, his mouth is open and sound is coming out but his blood is rushing through his ears and his heart is pounding like waves against a boat in rough sea and he can’t - he can’t -

Virgil turns to run, but the tranquilizer dart hits in him the back of the neck and he collapses like a sack of bricks. The woman lowers her gun and jerks her head at the two remaining conscious, unoccupied mercenaries, who step forward and grab Virgil.

“Let him go!” Thomas screams, and his throat feels raw and his chest feels raw and his wrists are rubbed raw and his soul feels hollow and raw, like he’s been scraped out with a jagged piece of metal and only an empty shell remains. Virgil’s head lolls against his chest as they drag him down the grotto tunnel, and Thomas struggles and screams and stares after them until Virgil is out of sight.

His face is damp, and his eyes are burning, and he isn’t sure if it’s blood from his head wound or tears or some strange, morbid mixture of both.

“The greatest torture of which I can conceive,” the woman onscreen says, and it takes him a moment to realize that oh, she’s talking to me, “is to leave you alive, knowing that your precious little protégé is with me, and that there is nothing you can do about it.” She leans forward, and any trace of a smile is gone. “If you try to come after me, I will kill him. If you call the authorities, I will kill him. I already found you, Thomas. Don’t think I’m not watching. If I catch so much as a whiff of you planning something, his blood will be on your hands. Do you understand me?”

Thomas, numb and shocked, can’t even respond. “Knock him out and bring the specimens back to me,” the woman onscreen says.

“Yes, ma’am.”

He doesn’t even feel the tranquilizer dart hit his neck, but he welcomes the sweeping darkness.

(Summary: Evil Scientist Lady has been spying on Thomas and she finds the entrance to the grotto where our mer friends have been hiding. She sends her assistant and several armed thugs to invade the lab, they drug Roman with tranquilizers and kidnap him. Thomas gets knocked around a lot and is mocked for being an ethical scientist and caring about people by Evil Scientist Lady and she gloats at him through Evil Facetime before kidnapping Virgil in the same way they did Roman, knocking Thomas unconscious, and leaving him tied to his lab chair. During this whole scene, Patton is out in the open ocean hunting and Logan is safely hidden in Virgil's room.)

#starshinewrites #lovely dark and deep #romantic analogical #sanders sides #platonic TLAMP

[sunaswife]

Summary: It’s been five years since you’ve seen your ex, Rin. He’s still not over you and you’re not over him. When he finds out you have children he thought he didn’t have a chance. Then he finds out they’re his? All of a sudden you’re teaching Suna how to be a single dad.

🔪: <3 thanks for all the support so far

Warnings: Fluff, angst I guess, drama, and cuteness twin overload

Previously Up Next Masterlist

Chapter Thirteen

“Kuroo-San I’m very flattered but in reality I’m seeing someone.” You chuckled awkwardly as you both walked to the lounge after today’s game. “Really?! Since when! About a month ago during the black Jackals game you just said you were a single mom!” He exclaimed. “Well..in reality..I’m trying to make amends with the father of my children. We were both dumb and immature but now since we’re older, we can have a decent conversation. And I still have feelings for him in a way and he’s already confessed..so...” you scratched the back on your head. “Have you accepted his confession..?” He asked. “Well..I mean I kind of changed the subject..” you replied awkwardly. “Poor guy..” he put his hand on his chest as if he felt the pain. “Well it’s not right to pressure someone into going on a date with them so I’m sorry. I was out of line. And I hope everything goes well between you and Rintarou.” He said with a soft smile. He patted your head and walked away down the other hall, you just stood there dumbfounded. How does he know Rin is the dad..?

You haven’t checked social media or sports news so you’re not sure if people already know. You made you way into the lounge and opened your small locker. You took out your purse and walked to your car, you tried walking as fast as possible to avoid talking to people and when you were in the comfort of your car you took out your phone.

Your eyes widened at the amount of phone calls and messages Rin sent. You didn’t even have a chance to read the messages since you decided to call back Rin and wonder what is going on. “It’s about time you answer.” He immediately gritted, he obviously sounded pissed. “Excuse me?” You immediately said with such confusion.

Does he seriously think he can get away with talking to you like that?

“I said it’s about time you fucking answered. Why weren’t you answering my calls or messages?” He asked. “I was obviously working.” You said in a duh tone. “Is something wrong?” You asked. “YES something is wrong! My son almost died and I didn’t know what to do!”

Your heart dropped. He almost...died..? “W-wait—“ you shook your head. “What do you mean he almost died?” You asked. “He had an allergy attack and I had to use an epipen. I didn’t know what to do at the hospital. I rarely had any information. You never told me if the kids had insurance or anything.” “Is Rini okay?” You immediately asked. “Yes he’s fine. But you didn—“

“I’m on my way. For the next eight hours, think before you speak, okay? Don’t say anything you’ll regret.” You warned. “Whatever.” He muttered and hung up. Immediately your heart clenched and you threw your phone at the passenger seat. You rubbed your face and leaned forward and gripped the steering wheel.

“What the fuck.” You sighed. Throughout the drive back to Hyogo your hands began shaking thinking about your kids and Rin. The kids went through something traumatic, and you weren’t there to help them or to protect them. What kind of mother are you? You wanted to slap yourself so hard, jump off a cliff. Receive some sort of punishment for being such a stupid mother and trusting Rin with your children.

After a few hours, your makeup needed a touch up, your hair was a mess for running your hands through your hair hoping your son is okay. Your eyes felt droopy. You’ve only slept a good six hours between drives and it’s way past midnight. The sun began to rise and you finally passed the billboard welcoming you to the hyogo prefecture. You went to the hospital Rin said they were at and you quickly parked and made your way inside.

The poor lady in the office seemed startled at your appearance, your clothes were wrinkled, and your shirt was untucked and unbuttoned from the top, you had bags under your eyes, you were a whole mess. When she gave the room number you slipped off your heels and began jogging to your location. The door was opened so you peeked in and saw your daughter playing with her fox plush on the uncomfortable couch chair.

It was like she sensed you so she looked up and you made eye contact with your little girl. Her eyes immediately watered and she hopped off the chair crying. “Mommy!” She sobbed and you immediately bent down to pick her up. You held her close and her grip tightened around your shoulders. “Rini doesn’t feel good..” she mumbled in your ear. “I know baby, I know.” You answered and dropped your heels by the entrance.

You made you way inside and saw Rin hunched over on the bed sleeping. He was holding Rini’s hand who was also asleep. He looked alright and you sighed in relief. “Have you slept, Akira?” You asked and she nodded. “I slept with Rini, but grandma wanted me to go back home with her. But Rini needed me. He’s my twin.” She wiped her eyes and slightly pulled away. You neared the other side of the bed and pulled the lounge chair closer so you can sit. Akira was on your left thigh with her head still on your shoulder. You looked at Rini sleeping and you brushed some hair out of his face. He slowly opened his eyes and he smiled lazily, “I missed you momma..” he mumbled. “I missed you too. I came as fast as I could.” You assured. “I was so scared.” He admitted. “I know..and I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you.” Your eyes began to water. “Don’t cry mommy.... then I’ll cry..” Rini held your hand with his free hand.

Your wiped under your eyes with the sleeve of your blazer to stop the tears from falling and you smiled again. “Okay I won’t cry.” You said and released a breath. “Can you sing me a song?” Akira asked in your neck, “Yeah I want a song too, please.” Rini pouted and you nodded. They had a favorite song from a certain show that they enjoyed the most. You began to sing softly and Rini squeezed your hand and Akira began to fall asleep again.

I always thought I might be bad

Now I'm sure that it's true

'Cause I think you're so good

And I'm nothing like you

Look at you go

I just adore you

I wish that I knew

What makes you think I'm so special

You saw as Rini’s eyes began to close so he could fall back to sleep, you heard snoring right in your ear and realized Akira knocked out as well. “You have a beautiful voice.” Rin said softly as he rested his head on the side of his arm. “Sorry that I woke you up.” You quickly apologized. “No it’s fine..” he yawned and slowly sat up. He winced slightly, “Damn I need to see a chiropractor.” He muttered and you released a small chuckle. “Me too.” You said.

“So is Rini okay? What happened?” You asked and he sighed and looked into your eyes. “My mom got some burgers from a restaurant where peanut oil is used. She didn’t know Rini was allergic and I didn’t check the bag.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” You raised your voice and his eyes widened. “Your mom almost killed our son and you blame me for leaving you without any information?” You asked and he looked down guilty. “She didn’t kn—“

“Of course she doesn’t know because all day she was acting like a conceited bitch instead of being a grandmother to her grandkids. She even called me a whore—“

“No she didn’t.” He immediately interrupted. “She didn’t because you stopped her. But that’s what she thinks right? I model for Hana’s company to support her and to build up my self esteem and now I’m a whore? And you had the audacity to talk to me so rudely when I didn’t do anything. If you’re going to be treating me like that then there’s the fucking door. You understand? Never again will I be disrespected by a man.” You said and he had no words.

“You make it seem like I did it on purpose. I was sleep deprived and scared. I felt like I was going to throw up.” Rin squinted his narrow eyes.

“Do you have any idea what I felt when I got a call eight hours away that my son almost died? Imagine how I feel when he calls out to me and I’m not there. I feel like I failed them as a mom, my chest hurts and I’ve always been there. Always. And now I leave them in your hands and something happens and I can’t get there soon? I almost had a panic attack on the drive!” You exclaimed and he stayed silent. He didn’t want to continue fighting. He’s sure the kids are awake and listening to everything.

“I’m sorry.” He said and looked at his hands. He felt defeated and disappointed. You shouldn’t be so hard on him, it’s been less than a month since he took on this role. “Hey look at me.” You called softly, he looked up and you made eye contact once more. “I’m sorry for going off on you like this, I’m just as upset and afraid as you are and I’m sure you haven’t slept much.”

“I could say the same for you, you look like shit.” He cracked a tiny smile and you rolled your eyes with a giggle. “So did your mom eventually decide to be a grandma or she still hates me so she’s not getting close?” You asked. “She went back home to bring some clothes and then to get us some breakfast. I sent her a screenshot of my notes.” He said and you nodded. You obviously still felt uneasy with her, but they deserve a grandma and if she’s being civil you have no reason to take them away from her.

There was a knock at the door and you and Rin immediately turned your heads. “Oh you must be mom..” the doctor said. “Yeah I’m mom.” You said. She explained that Rini stayed longer than usual because he is a child. After a severe allergic reaction there can be aftershocks hours after the person receives treatment and that can lead to a seizure. She praised Rin for quick thinking and following proper steps to insure his child’s safety.

When the doctor left, Rin’s mom waltzes in and she freezes when she sees you. You take a deep breath and release and decide that it’s best to keep quiet. You wouldn’t want a clique animosity between you and your maybe future mother in law.

“I brought Rini some spare clothes.” She said as she opened Rin’s old gym bag. “He doesn’t own that jacket.” You pointed out. Her face flushed slightly, “I know..but this was Rintarou’s favorite jacket when he was his age..I thought it would be nice to wear. I have a lot of Rin’s old baby and child clothes.” She admitted softly, almost scared that you would snap any minute. And you would, so she was wise to walk on eggshells.

“Okay that’s fine.” You gave in. You helped Rini get dressed while Rin was talking to the doctor and getting ready to check out. You walked barefoot down the hall with your pink heels in your right hand, while Akira held your left hand. Rini was holding hands with Suna and Rin’s mom was holding their stuffed animals. She trailed behind you four and saw how you and Rin swung akira with you arms, her little giggles filled the hall releasing serotonin to the patients and nurses nearby.

“Momma aren’t you gonna put your shoes on?” Rini asked, “My feet hurt and I don’t feel like falling.” “But it’s hot outside, you can burn your feet.” Rin spoke up, “I think I’ll be fine.” You assured. He rolled his eyes and let go of the kids. You were about to step on the asphalt of the parking lot after checking both sides and all of a sudden you’re being knocked back from your legs and carried bridal style. “RINTAROU PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT.”

“Nah.”

The kids giggled at their parents funny behavior, you kicked the air and squirmed but his grip tightened. “Do you really wanna get down?” He asked and you said yes. He pretended to drop you and you gripped onto his shirt for dear life and he started laughing. “I swear to God I am going to kick you where the sun doesn’t shine.” You muttered. He finally put you down but you were so distracted you were already at your car.

Karin took the kids to her car since the car seats are in there, so now it’s just you and Rin. “You give me a headache.” You told him. “But you love this headache—“ both your eyes widened and he stopped, “—sorry.” He immediately apologized.

You turned away to yawn and you muttered an it’s okay. He opened the car door for you just like old times, much to your dismay and he closed it when you entered. You put on your seatbelt and he fixed the seat and complained at how tiny you were. He was expecting you to fight back and bicker but you were already asleep.

He leaned forward and fixed your head so you wouldn’t hurt your neck. He started the car and began driving back home. He saw the two empty cups of coffee and some energy bar wrappers on the floor. The phone wasn’t playing any music but the volume was up to 20. You must have been so tired driving all last night and the night before for nine straight hours. No wonder you blasted music to keep you up and drank coffee.

He soon made it home and tried waking you up, but you didn’t budge. Not even shaking you work. You were a muttering unconscious mess when he helped you out and carried you bridal style once again. His mom let him in and he told Akira to unroll the futon in the living room since he couldn’t take you upstairs. He successfully placed you down and helped take of your blazer, he thanked god you were wearing an undershirt thanks to akira checking (no somnophilia shit here atm) and he helped unbutton your dress shirt so you wouldn’t feel hot. He put a light blanket over you. “Can’t believe I have to get you ready for bed like a child.” He muttered with a shake of his head. “Silence bottom, it’s mimi’s time.” You said in your sleep.

The kids ate their breakfast in the car as well as Karin. They were already awake and playing with Chewy outside again. “Mom.” He called, “Yes?” She asked from the kitchen. “Can I borrow your makeup wipes?” He asked. She smiled softly, looking out the window to check on the kids. “Yeah go ahead, they’re in the bathroom.”

Rin came back with the wipes and began wiping the makeup off your face. He didn’t want to press too hard to hurt you. But damn, this makeup was hard to take off. Finally you slept comfortably without makeup, without any interruptions. “Sweet dreams, love.” He smiled and moved the hair away from your face.

He stood up and grabbed the bag with all the kids school stuff and sat in the picnic table outside. “Alright you rascals time for school!” He yelled and the kids yelled an okay and went to join their dad.

“Hey dad..” Rini said. “What’s up?” Rin looked at his son, “I love you a lot. To infinity and beyond. Mama says that’s called unconditional love.” He said and Rin smiled with a nod. “Exactly, and I love you two unconditionally as well.” He said and Akira peered up from her work sheet. “Do you love mom unconditionally?” She asked Rintarou.

“Yeah. Yeah I do.”

Fun facts:

Someone asked me to do fun facts and if I had any for future chapters so here I go

The song YN sang is love like you from Steven universe but this is my fav version.

‘Mimi’s’ means sleeping time, Akira didn’t know how to say sleeping when she was a toddler so she would say Mimi’s cuz uncle Oikawa would say “es tiempo de dormir.” Which means ‘it’s time to sleep’. So MIMIS is taken for the ‘mir’ in dormir. (Sorry that was a long explanation) (if you live in a Mexican household then u might usually hear this)

YN drives a Black Honda CR-V (nice mom van) ☺️ while Rin has a White Nissan GT-R but he’s thinking of trading it in for a four door sports car to take the kids and yn along

Rin still has his old black mustang in a garage rental back in Tokyo where he would drive with YN everywhere. He wants to fix it up and gift it to one of his kids when they’re older 🥺

Idk why I’m talking about cars

Rin was a blushing mess when he was getting yn ready for bed and his heart stopped when she snuggled into him

After he admitted he loved YN unconditionally, Akira called him a simp

🏷: @therealwalmartjesus @differentballooncollection @aaesuki @atsunflower @dope-squish @prettysetterboiss @june-phantom @tomo-uwu @austriasmariazelle @xrnia @katsulia @aprettyfruit @shut-your-eyes-kiss-me-goodbye @tvbiio @sun-daddy-yoriichi @kamenoyaki @ppangiiroo @loeyprivvv @kmskj92 @lovinnoya @sarahvvictoria @tris-does-stuff @mokkeguts @sunaluvr6969 @bara-rose-would @sempiternal-amour @volleybloop @leykyuu @bokutoichigo @stfucanunot @iloveanime691 @atsumusdomain @ohrintarou @shoutosimp @mqrinqcele @bokutosdivineass @anngelllla @toworuu @hidden-otaku-stuff @seijohiselite @caxsthetic @aquariarose @hhwanggu @bakuhoetoedoroki @yoozuku @osamus-onigiri @akaashi-todorki @donica95 @kakaokenma @airheadpillar

#haikyuu suna #suna rintarō #miya atsumu #miya osamu #suna rintarou fluff #suna x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu x you #Haikyuu au #suna rintaro x reader #suna x y/n