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#it all started with drugs
regsaysstuff · 22 days
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you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.
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be-queer-do-arson · 11 months
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"Baltimore reunion scene" this "shower scene" that you know what the actual best, most underrated andreil scene is? The scene on the bus in the kings men where Neil and Andrew sit together and spend three hours just talking. Neil, the pathological liar, spent three hours giving Andrew truthful information for free. Andrew, who's so withdrawn he quit taking for days and no one noticed, gave out details of his life, for free, for three hours. No games or trades involved.
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ecoamerica · 1 month
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Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc
The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!
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dylanconrique · 7 months
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"it's like penguins. penguins, in nature, when one is sick, or when one is very injured, the other penguins surround it and prop it up. they walk around it until that penguin can walk on it's own. that's kind of what the cast did for me." — matthew perry about his fellow friends.
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wraithsoutlaws · 3 months
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TITLE: Perfect Drug CHAPTER ONE: Jawbreaker WORD COUNT: 4,309 PAIRING: Dagger/Dum Dum CW: Light violence, gore mention The story of how two fucked up guys become one fucked up couple.
The sky changed colors in the city. The endless scroll of neon gave it an artificial glow, and from the first moment he crossed the desert line, Dagger had resented it. Nothing looked real. Nothing was–not the food, the music. Certainly not the people. He found himself looking up as he drove further into it’s clutches, searching for a sliver of sky that felt familiar, but the only thing he found was a thinly veiled layer of bullshit.  Northside was different, though no less oppressive. The smokestacks kept the air murky, and no matter how many times he blinked or re-calibrated his optics, he couldn’t quite clear his vision of the red haze that defined it. But unlike Night City, it took pride in it’s own ugly. And he liked that. 
The All Foods factory sat like an icon at the center of it all, more mythical to the locals than even the crumbs of Arasaka littering the district. Dagger stood outside with a cigarette, gazing into it’s shuttered maw. 
A week had passed since he found his way to the building for the first time, toting a severed head in one hand, and a duffel of recovered Militech cargo in the other. He had taken both from a smoldering warzone in Sierra Sonorra where two behemoths fought their last battle; a cadre of Maelstrom gangoons and a unit of corpo dogs. He could have taken the wreckage back for the Wraiths. The gear would have fetched a pretty enny, and the head of a Milietech sergeant would make a lovely hood ornamented for his Quadra–but Dagger never cared for money, and he had plenty of heads already. 
He brought the cargo home to Northside instead, head in hand like a peace offering, still bleeding fresh after decapitation. He wanted a deal, not a payday. Something worth more than a shiny new car, or a pair of genuine leather boots, and after one long blurry fucking night, he got one.  
The Wraiths would protect Maelstrom’s interests in the Badlands and the ‘borgs would give them leverage in the city, pushing to wipe Sixth Street from Santo Domingo. Dagger would move between them, lending his skills to one while extending his power in the other.
In the end, he'd puppet them both.
His mama always said to dream big.
He pressed at a dwindling bruise over his ribcage as he double checked for his smokes in his jacket pocket. Each breath came with a dull ache that hadn’t quite quelled from that night, even a week later. He’d paid his price for admission. He could still feel the wreckage in his bones as he stood at the entrance of the garage, cigarette half smoked already, waiting for an answer at the door. The security camera at the edge of the roof peered down at him, it’s blinking red light a mimic of the trademark optics that were watching him from inside. And they were watching him. Making him wait, though they were the very ones who had set the meet. When he glared up at the lens, he could feel them on the other side.
Another minute passed. He threw his cigarette down, banging a fist to the rusted metal with impatience. After a moment of waiting he considered going around to the intercom, but it felt too much like defeat. He knocked again instead, kicking with a steel tipped boot for good measure and flicking another glare up to the camera. 
The noise must have worked. The door swung open with a growl, sudden enough it nearly took an inch off his nose. Before he could blink, the front end of a revolver shoved itself against the scar on his cheek, forcing his back to the wall with its presence. Seven eyes peered over the muzzle, a shiny chrome scowl beneath them. Dagger’s fist moved on instinct, nestled now against the underside of Dum Dum’s chin where the skin still felt human. The steel claws in the chassis of his hand inched in the sheaths between his knuckles, hungry for a drop of blood. They stood still, entwined in each other’s violence, neither one ready to budge.
“Keep that gun in my face any longer and I’ll get real acquainted with your fleshy bits.” He wasn’t sure which lens he should look at, or which ones were looking at him. His icy gaze settled on the ones that looked most like eyes, though he couldn’t read them. The tip of his claws met skin, just slightly. Enough bite to prove he wasn’t lying.
Dum Dum didn’t sweat it.
“You think your trigger is quicker than mine?”
“Might be fun to find out.”
The sound that came from his throat could have been a laugh. A moment later, Dum Dum drew the gun back and slid it into the waistband of his pants. Slowly, Dagger followed suit, letting his hand fall away with a tinge of disappointment. A click of his tongue.
“Scared?”
“My bullet would rip through your meatpan before your chrome even touched me,” Dum Dum said. He sounded sure, the weight of his optics nearly prying Dagger apart, scanning his hardware in bemusement. He wouldn’t find much, except maybe that his assessment was correct. Which begged the question: why not pull the trigger?
Dagger grinned.
“You gonna invite me inside?” 
Dum Dum didn’t answer, turning a corner toward the street without looking back at him. “Nothing in there for you.”
“Is that right?” Dagger pulled his cigarettes from his jacket and lit one as he followed. A busted up Chevillon was parked on the corner, garish Maelstrom colors splattered across the rusted paint like a badge of honor. Ugly, like everything else around it. He smiled. “Taking me out to pasture then?”
Smoke slithered from his lips as they walked. 
“You wanna play with the big dogs you’re gonna have to work like a bitch.” Dum Dum stopped at the car, and spared him an indecipherable look. “That means you do what I say, when I say it, how I say it. If I tell you to lick the shit off my boots you better fucking get on your knees and do it, yeah? Piss me off and it’s bye bye with a bullet. We’ll sell your meat to the Scavs without a second thought.”
Dagger raised a brow, amusement flickering in his eyes as he took another drag from his smoke. “My god, I think I can see Royce’s hand up your ass using your mouth like a little puppet. Don’t you wanna be a real boy?”
Dum Dum looked tough, but Dagger had seen enough already to know that he folded for the big man as easy as paper. He half expected the gun again, but to his surprise, he only saw a smile on the other man’s face–teeth that looked too human to belong to him. The tension in his shoulders seemed to drop.
“You are one stupid motherfucker.”
He almost sounded impressed.
Dagger stared him down with the same grin, head tilting. Anyone else, he might skin them alive for the assertion but Dum Dum could be useful. No doubt more than any of the other rusted lugnuts lurking in the gang who’d still be more than happy to kill him. If he wanted this to work out, he’d need someone watching his back, and he’d already proved he wouldn’t pull the trigger.
Dum Dum slid into the driver’s seat and gestured for Dagger to go around. He wasn’t thrilled about playing passenger, his own car parked down the block, but he decided not to push it. He didn’t know his way around the city yet, let alone wherever the fuck they were headed. Or why.
He climbed into the Chevillon, choosing to play nice, a decision quickly waning as he waited for an explanation that never came. He blew smoke toward Dum Dum, a juvenile attempt to get his attention as the engine turned over.
“Got a problem, princess?” Dum Dum asked without looking. At least his head didn’t move.
Dagger leaned back in his seat. “Just wondering what the fuck I’m doing here.”
“You’re the one who knocked.”
“Funny.”
The car pulled onto the street. 
“Got a pick-up.” The flat drone of his voice gave away his own annoyance in the silence. “And I wasn’t bullshitting before. Do as you’re told and we won’t have a problem.”
Dagger rolled down his window to vent the smoke from his cigarette. “Pick-up? And here I was hoping for a little fun. Ain’t you lot known for your violence? No offense but thats a waste of my talent and I’m keen to believe it’s a waste of yours too.”
“Royce wants to know you can follow orders. You might be hot shit to those desert dogs but you’re a long way from the top out here.”
Something in the gravel of his tone indicated a warning, but Dagger flicked it off with the ash from his cig. He glanced at him from the corner of his eyes, watching the city blur past the tinted glass. Northside was less colorful than the rest of Night City, all smoke and concrete. In a way, it reminded him of home–the badlands, an endless sprawl of sun bleached dirt, harsh and rigid. Vibrant in its decay. They bore their similarities alright. He could smell fire in the air. A laugh lodged itself in his throat as he finally looked over.
“So that’d make you what, then? The babysitter?”
A grunt. There might have been humor in it. Or a threat.
“You should count yourself lucky. Anyone else prolly woulda shot you by now.”
Dagger didn’t doubt it for a second. Dum Dum was different from the rest, and somehow just the same. He followed orders, and crumbled like soggy paper for the top dog. Out of fear or loyalty, he couldn’t tell yet, but he lacked the self-respect to see that Royce would throw him out as soon as he wasn’t useful. He wondered what might happen if those strings pulled taut. If something sharp happened by to whittle them down. 
Dum Dum’s voice caught him by surprise.
“I’m actually impressed you’re still walking. Didn’t think you’d show up after that beating last week.”
“That right?” Dagger said, casually flipping down the visor ahead of him and examining his face in the two inch mirror. The bruise beneath his eye had faded from plum to a brown rot and for a moment he could feel the impact of the metal punch that knocked him on his ass again. It wasn’t the only one. His body was littered, like the canvas of an old painter–splashes of color hemorrhaging against his skin. He knew there was a cracked rib, probably a concussion, too. A few busted teeth, and more. Welcoming gifts from Maelstrom. It was his own suggestion, a last ditch effort to get close to the gang without having chrome shoved up his ass. An initiation plucked from his smuggling days. Each member got a single hit. If he was still alive by the end of it, he’d get in.
And Dagger always got in, smiling and spitting blood. He’d do it again just to prove that he could. 
“Hell, I thought that left hook from Lars might kill you.” Dum Dum laughed.
Dagger flipped the visor closed. “You kiddin’? My Daddy hit me harder for stealing a cigarette when I was eight years old.”
“You were prolly just a pussy back then.”
A grin cut across his lips as naturally as the sun cresting over the cityscape. “Well, he had a harder swing than you, at least.”
“Makes sense.” The car turned a tight corner and Dum Dum’s head tilted toward him for the first time. “Considerin’ I pulled my punch.”
Dagger met those empty red lenses with a raised brow. “The fuck you did.”
The crack of his own teeth rang out in his ears again, as if that chrome fist was crashing into his face all over. He could still remember his seven eyes watching him as he stumbled back, spitting blood and enamel in his face. He tongued the empty space on his bottom gum where the molar used to sit. Dum Dum had extracted it more seamlessly than the world’s best dentist ever could.
Pulled his punch. 
Dagger scoffed.
Dum Dum didn’t show any sign of humor. His silence said it all.
“And why the fuck would you do that?”
A pause. And then finally a smile.
“‘Cause the harder we hit you, the louder you laughed. Didn't wanna give you the satisfaction.”
Dagger’s face fell, as expressionless as the red lenses in front of him, which seemed now to burn holes through his chest in the silence. He should cut them from his skull, but the feeling passed at the sight of a smile on Dum Dum’s lips.
“Fuckin’ lunatic,” he said, somewhere between affection and dismay.
Dagger took it for a compliment. He grinned, and a bruise sang triumph beneath his skin. 
The car pulled off the street beside a painted wall that looked nearly identical to every other street corner in Northside. Dagger could find his way through every small vein of dusty road across the Badlands with his eyes closed but ask him to distinguish between one block or the next within the industrial sprawl of the district and he’d be lost. He pressed his forehead against the window and looked up. Not even the sky could help him. The shadow of the city all but smothered it. 
Dum Dum cut the engine. 
Wrecked cars littered the crowded alleyway where they sat now, nothing but skeletal remains, picked clean by the vultures. But there was one ahead of them, a black van that stuck out among the rest. The pick-up, if he had to wager.
“What are we waiting for?” he asked, his cigarette almost nothing but ash. He finally flicked it out the window. 
Dum Dum didn’t answer. He studied the van ahead of him in the quiet, and after a moment Dagger pushed his optics to scan it too. Standard. No heat signature inside, though there was something stored in the back, a chemical signature he couldn’t get a specific read on. Drugs, more than likely. Of course it was. He had heard the ‘strommers had their own brand of shit. The kind with enough kick to push past the thirty pounds of chrome in their head. 
“Something the matter with it?” On instinct, Dagger looked in the rearview, scanned the surrounding area. A flash of light flickered somewhere behind them and disappeared. He waited for it to happen again, but he saw nothing. 
“Gadge ain’t here,” Dum Dum said, tone flat. Once more unreadable.
“Taking a leak?”
A grunt. He leaned back in the seat, hand dropping down to the revolver wedged between his seat and the middle console. He flicked his head forward, toward the van. “Well, go on, bitch boy. Check it out.”
Dagger’s eyes narrowed, but he pushed back the urge to tell him to fuck off. He lit another cigarette on the way out. The street was quiet, though somewhere a few blocks down a siren echoed off the smokestacks. He paused when he reached the back of the van, head turning over his shoulder. There was nothing here. Nobody in sight beside those seven glowing eyes behind the glass, and still the hair rose on the back of his neck. 
No Gadge. No blood. No struggle. So why did he have a bad feeling? He focused his attention back to the van as Dum Dum waved a hand at him impatiently. Another quick scan told him the same information before he finally reached for the handle and pulled the bed open. A creak of metal cracked through his ears.
It almost deafened the gunshot.
Dagger ducked, dropping low without thought. His cigarette fell to the ground half burned, mocking him as another bullet riccochetted against the back of the van. His first thought was Dum Dum. Royce had changed his mind on the deal, ordered his execution. A quiet hit didn’t sound like his style, and Dagger was almost disappointed he wouldn’t get to see the ugly bastard one more time just to call him a fucking pussy to his face, but a moment later he could hear the ‘borg’s static voice yelling at him from the car to get the fuck up.
He stayed low, unable to pinpoint the direction of the gunshot, and made his way back to the passenger’s side of the Chevillon.
The engine sputtered to life at the same time as the van in front of him. He crawled inside just in time to witness the driverless van crash through a charred Mackinaw to the next street over.
“Fuck!” Dum Dum yelled, flooring the pedal before Dagger could get his foot pulled in all the way. “Shit’s hacked. Gonk’s don’t know who they’re messing with.” 
He rammed through the same debris as the van but caught a harsh edge of metal, and the Chevillon stalled for a moment before struggling through. The ringing in Dagger’s ears hadn’t stopped, and he only realized his hand was bleeding when he reached for his third smoke. 
“Hack means their close.”
Dagger rolled the window down and stuck his head out, catching the stale air of Northside in a suffocating wind. He could see the van ahead of them like a black smear, but it wasn’t the van he was interested in. Quickhack on a vehicle was useful, but it had drawbacks. One being proximity. Had to be close or you lost connection, even with boosted gear. 
A small Hatchback swung suddenly out from a sidestreet, narrowly missing their car as it sped past. Dum Dum swerved and lost a foot of paint on a fire hydrant in attempt to keep steady. Dagger scanned it as it followed track with the van, spitting chooh2 to catch up. Two signatures inside. A runner.
He ripped the gun from Dum Dum’s seat and pulled himself halfway out the window to take aim. He shot quickly and near blind, bullet lost in the wind as the chase veered left. 
“Fuckin’ shoot steady,” Dum Dum yelled over at him.
“Drive fuckin’ steady,” Dagger snapped, and this time he held his breath as he aimed for the speeding car. A shot came back at him in response and he ducked back into the window before firing again. The windshield spiderwebbed but the car stayed true, zipping through a line of traffic as they headed into a busier part of the district. A horn blared beside him. The hatchback disappeared between two trucks, and Dum Dum struggled on the wheel, crashing into the edge of a turning car and nearly throwing the gun from Dagger's slick, bloody grasp when he shot again.
He couldn’t track where the bullet hit, but he could tell that it missed.
With a growl, Dagger reached over for the wheel.
“Switch me places.” It was a command more than a question, but Dum Dum didn’t protest. He ripped the gun from Dagger’s hand as Dagger pushed his leg over to the gas pedal and shimmied across the seat in an awkward dance, climbing over him without slowing the vehicle until they both settled into their new positions.
Dum Dum took aim as naturally as Dagger did the wheel. He was no stranger to this, or to the electricity running through his chest as he gripped the wheel knuckle tight, grin spreading over his lips.
The tight streets were no match for an open road, but it got his blood pumping all the same. 
He could barely make out the back of the car up ahead, but he could see the rear light explode as Dum Dum fired beside him, leaving red glass sparkling on the pavement like blood. Another shot bellowed, and the hatchback veered wildly, nearly toppling sideways as it made a sharp turn. 
Dagger followed, cutting the same corner with the ease of sharpened steel. He couldn’t see the van further up, but he locked his optics onto the car. Blood splattered the window, and he knew that Dum Dum had hit one of them inside. The engine groaned as he pushed it further. The Chevillon didn’t have the same gumption as his Quadra. He could feel the waiver in her gait, but they were close now. Dum Dum felt it too. He braced his arm on the roof. One good shot is all they’d need.
Dagger seamlessly crossed over the center line, taking the opposite lane to blow past several cars that separated them from their goal. Traffic sped by, so close it rocked the car, but he didn’t flinch.
One. Good. Shot.
Dum Dum fired. 
Blood sprayed the windshield. 
The hatchback veered suddenly into a passing car, which came to a skidding stop, halting the traffic behind it and keeping Dagger from passing back over into the right lane. His mind raced, and on instinct he took a quick left to avoid collision, and then another.
Dum Dum screamed in his ear, but the words were deafened from wind, the ringing, the sirens. Neon lights burned together, flashing against his corneas. 
“Wrong fuckin’ way!” He heard finally.
The streets grew narrower, and then he understood. 
He could smell the ocean. 
 Northside’s warehouses were a shadow in the rearview as they headed toward the bay into Kabuki. Tyger territory. They had crossed the district line. 
Dum Dum reached for the wheel in a last ditch effort to change course. The momentum of the turn threw them upward, tires leaving the ground. The car spun uncontrollably, flipped, crashing through the barricade on the side of the road in a explosion of crunching metal. 
He could see the ocean.
A smear of open blue that could match the sky his heart yearned for. It was beautiful.
Almost.
And it hit like a fucking rock. 
His vision blacked for a moment before the water caved in around them. Slowly, then all at once. He barely had time to take in a lungful of air. Kicking at the door wildly, he swam away from the wreckage as the sea pulled them under. His gaze shot upward, searching once more for the sky to lead him. He followed the light up and up, chest starting to ache, until finally he found it.
Dagger gasped as he breached, shaking water from his eyes. He didn’t recognize the city around him, but he spotted a dock nearby. He swam toward it, then stopped. Looked back. The only remains of the Chevillon were petering bubbles at his back, and smooth water beside that. There wasn’t any sign of Dum Dum. By the look of him, he’d sink as quick as the car.
He glanced between the dock and the bubbles and back again. 
All that fucking chrome…
Walking back to All Foods without the drugs and their sergeant at arms might earn himself a spot in that industrial microwave that Maelstrom liked to boast. Dum Dum was the only one who didn’t want to kill him, after all.
“Fuck.”
He spit water then took another breath and dived.
The car left a trail like ink in the murky water. Dagger clawed toward it, dragging himself further down into the dark depths. Day turned to night. The city was different here, peaceful, and if not for the pounding in his ears, quiet. 
The distant red glare of those eyes shined like a beacon further down. He followed them like the north star, pushing himself to go faster. Dum Dum kicked despite himself, maybe instinct, maybe panic, but his weight worked against him, pulling him down quicker. Dagger pushed harder, reached further. Dum Dum finally noticed him, lenses fixed and unwavering, a calm coming over him as he finally got close enough to grab. Dagger heaved upward, working against the ocean’s cold grasp and the anchor like weight dragging him down. His chest began to burn, and the sky still looked so dark above them. 
He considered letting go, eyes squeezed tight, angry ‘ganic lungs ready to burst. 
And then he could breathe again.
He reached blindly for the dock ladder, trying hard not to heave. Dum Dum climbed up beside him, still as a corpse.
“Fucking gonk shit,” he muttered.
Dagger almost didn’t catch it over the sound of his panting. He laid flat on his back, taking in the welcome blue above him. He could finally see a break in the cityscape, clouds sneaking in at the edge of his vision. 
“Quite a fuckin’ thank you,” Dagger said without taking his eyes from above.
“Oxygen reserves. Could sit down there all day.”
He sat up slowly, running a hand through wet, matted hair. “All the good it’d do you. Be a pile of rust by the time they found you. If they found you.”
Dum Dum laughed. Short, quick static. Somehow it sounded genuine.
“And I’m sure you did that outta the kindness of your heart.”
“What fuckin’ heart?” He said flat, patting down his pockets for his cigarettes. He pulled the pack out, sopping wet. He didn’t bother trying to light one before he tossed them into the bay with a sigh. “Owe me some fucking smokes.”
Dum Dum opened his mouth to speak, but the words never made it. He lifted his head, and though he couldn’t see exactly, Dagger knew he was looking past him. A gun cocked at the back of his head. Cold barrel against his skull. He clenched his jaw, and turned to see a woman he didn’t recognize staring down at him behind glass eyes.
His automatic translator picked up her words better than his ears.
“Welcome to Kabuki, bitch.”
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Pt I wash it down but i've never watched it... and neither have you.
Well, hello there, remember when you guys tried to explain Goncharov to me and I said I wanted to create a fake movie/show? Have it, beautiful maggots. Wash It Down the TV show, mostly accurately explained. Kind of. You know me by now.
Everything is a metaphor, except for the things that are subtext.
The rich blonde girl Carla turns into a deranged psychopath, but in a way that is vaguely inspiring. In the year of our lord and damner 2024, any kind of character development is vaguely inspiring. Especially when it's done by Saoirse Ronan.
Purple hearts this RWRB that, you guys are SLEEPING on Nicholas Galitzine's role in Wash It Down. Which is mostly being disappointingly straight, until he isn't, and inspiringly revolutionary, until he isn't. Dan is honestly just a whole neurotic mess, and we at tumblr do love us a good neurotic mess.
It's a tale as old as time, really. Girl meets boy, girl falls for boy, girl meets girl, boy betrays girl, girl falls for girl, boy falls for girl. Just your average love story.
American cops being shits, just another day on planet earth. The DARE program failing miserably, just another day on planet earth.
Yasmin Finney the gorgeous as Talitha, who is very gay, very angry, and disturbingly obsessed with making paper dolls. Which I'm sure will not come into play later in the s--nvm it's another metaphor for the paper-thin veneer of civilised society in a world on fire with rage.
There is a lot of alcohol. Mostly wine. White wine. Which isn't significant, until it is because it is now also a metaphor.
Inappropriately timed renditions of the Mary Poppins 1964 soundtrack, that are guaranteed to slowly ruin your childhood until the word sugar inspires the inner arsonist in all of us.
First-Twilight-movie-levels of intense blue saturation of, well, everything. It's for the metaphor, guys, I'm sure the filmmakers knew what they were doing.
Carla and Dan are absolute OTP, until they aren't, and Carla and Talitha are absolute OTP, until Carla pulls a gun on Talitha and sings a lullaby to her. I am no longer sure the filmmakers knew what they were doing.
The world is Bad Bad Very Bad. Which I'm sure none of us can relate to.
Love is complicated and unstable, but like, in a shippy way. Mostly.
An oddly specific ring of imagery that becomes so convoluted that it starts to parody itself until the show is a metaphor for the show itself and even Christopher Nolan is raising his glass in reluctant admiration.
Senseless cliffhangers that are an interesting directing choice for sure. Bold, but interesting.
More Mary Poppins. Your childhood is entirely ruined. You become an arsonist.
The paper dolls catch fire. You are now part of the metaphor.
Very cute romance with a lot of attempted murder and societal rebellion thrown in. Hallmark is shaking.
Accurate? Who knows. Not you. Not me. Not anyone... yet.
@queermarzipan @madfangirlontheloose tagged for no suspicious reason.
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roseworth · 2 months
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Wait ok I'm not knowledgeable on anything Wilson family. Slade drugs Rose???
yeah <///3 before tt03 they had met like once ever (and it went poorly) so to get rose on his side slade injected her with a super soldier serum
in #0.5 he kidnaps her after buying a hit on her (many such cases) and goes "cmon rose we can be a family lets be a family <3333" and she agrees (because shes angry and slade is the one handing her a weapon to kill the man that killed her mother)
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then theyre on the same side for a while! the first time we hear about the serum (and iirc only time its specifically mentioned while shes being drugged) is in #12 (BART 🥺)
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we also see some flashbacks in fresh hell of slade giving her the serum too
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anyways then she joins the team and everything is alright (lie). this is the first confirmation that she was being drugged, plus also showing that shes staying on the team just bc shes afraid slade will get her again :(
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in any story that takes place from 2003-2006 that includes rose & slade (bg #63-64, nightwing #112-115, etc), rose is being drugged :(
basically the writers needed an explanation for why she would choose to work with slade and wanted an excuse for why she would be able to join the titans later on and honestly? rare johns banger. this plotline fucks to me. completely defines rose's relationship with slade and gives her a concrete reason to hate him but also have very complicated feelings about her place in his life ouuughhhh
but in conclusion slade sucks so heres some panels of rose beating him up
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(CW: drug mention)
Dissociation culture is not needing drugs because you already feel like you're high all the time. And not even in a fun way :/
.
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s0fter-sin · 5 months
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metalhead ghost who’s been in moshpits since he was a kid and is now a veteran of the scene and the self appointed look out. he keeps an eye out for anyone falling or passing out, kicks the shit out of anyone crowd killing or putting their hands where they shouldn’t
and he’s been keeping an eye on the punk in the kilt since he saw him throw himself headfirst into the wall of death
he looks like the type to start shit - loud and aggressive as anyone else here but a punk doesn't end up at a metal show for no reason - but there's also something niggling at him that he's gonna end up getting himself hurt. and ghost can’t tell if he’s going to do it on purpose
if he does, ghost needs to know. he uses these places as an escape - the music, the violence, the community - always has and he knows all to well how easily an escape can curdle and become destructive. he’s seen too many people lost to the darker parts of the scene, almost lost himself to it; he doesn’t want it to happen to anyone else if he can help it
so when he sees the punk sweating his mohawk off, his movements becoming looser and uncoordinated, he has no issues with yanking him out of the pit and pulling him away from the crowd; pushing him up against the venue wall and ordering him to open his mouth
the glaze that falls over his eyes concerns him even as he obediently lets his mouth fall open. he was right; the punk’s severely dehydrated, tongue and gums far to pale and along with the look in his eyes, he half-thinks he’s about to drop
he reflexively tightens his hold on his jaw to keep him up and the punk shivers, a flush creeping up his neck. an almost confused arousal joins the haze in his eyes and ghost smirks beneath his mask
looks like metal shows aren’t the only thing the punk is new to
#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#ghost has a split tongue bc i said so#and soaps mohawk is overgrown and fluffy as hell running down the back of his neck#once ghost forces water down his throat soap comes back online and is his usual self and ghost starts to like him even more#he likes having someone that can go toe to toe with him#i wish i knew more about the scene so i could expand this but i dont know shit about punk or metal culture lmao#i do know itd be mid 20s soap and late 30s early 40s ghost and soaps just self destructing#wanting to be an artist but hes being strangled both by his family who think its a waste when hes so mathematically smart#and by the artistic community who hate his pieces for being too chaotic and non traditional#ghost keeps running into him at shows and he recognises that self destruction all too well#and he sees him declining and knows if he doesnt step in no one will#he was a drug addict after getting caught up in abusive relationship with roba#and it was only his brothers death that pulled him out of his spiral#he doesnt want death to be the end of this spitfire punks story#soaps also got that classic catholic guilt internalised homophobia going for him#hes only ever known the bad parts of the scene he didnt know there was anything different#until ghost introduces him to price and nikolai whove been together longer than hes been alive#and to gaz and farah and alex who make no secret of their love for each other and soap realises just how deprived he is of healthy love#not when his parents barely stand him not when his sister only got married when she fell pregnant and they forced her into the church#with a man she hardly knew just so they could keep their reputation#just ghost showing soap theres more to life than violence and hatred and theres so much love for him to discover#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#save post
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mattodore · 11 months
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100 questions with Theo | playlist, pinterest | ←
1. What common traits do you share with your oc? What about them is the least like you?
Well… we both have a hard time connecting with people, are easily jealous, and are hungry for understanding. Theo is very different from me in that he’s reckless, judgmental, dismissive, and is more willing to work for approval than I am.
2. Do you think you would get along with your oc if you could meet them? What things would you talk about?
To be honest… no. Theo isn’t exactly easy to get along with (which is by design) and neither one of us would make the first move to talk to the other.
3. How competent would your oc be in a survival situation? Would they be better off on their own or in a group?
He’d be very competent. Theo is a survivor. He’ll claw his way to the finish line even while covered in gore and viscera. Most of his knowledge comes from what he’s read with little hands-on experience, but I believe he’d still be able to apply that knowledge well. He’s not very strong as he doesn’t exercise and is fairly slim… so I think he might struggle with things that would require a lot of muscle. But, then again, Theo has a sharp mind… I think he could find a workaround for most things that would’ve required physical strength anyway. Theo’s fast on his feet and is also good at hiding… he’s pretty stealthy and quiet when he needs to be. Plus, with Theo’s perceptiveness and natural aptitude for reading people, I think he’d be quick to suss out who’s trustworthy or not and would know not to approach a bad situation. 
Theo is a loner and is generally distrustful of people, so he’d be better off on his own. Maybe one other person beside him would be okay for a short while just to have an ally, but… I don’t know. I think he’d let someone tag along with him for a few days and then he’d just vanish in the middle of the night to be all on his own again.
4. Is your oc a daredevil, or more of a scaredy cat? What is the most daring thing they’ve done in their life?
He’s self-destructive, so… daredevil. At the same time, though, I think a lot of the situations Theo puts himself in do in fact scare him… you’d hardly be able to tell, though. The most daring thing he’s done… hm… Theo has walked into the den of a drug lord and behaved disrespectfully.
5. What is your oc’s patience like? When waiting for something, are they able to sit still or do they fidget? How do they fidget?
I think Theo is exceptionally patient and doesn’t fidget at all. He was trained out of unattractive behaviors very young in his life, so he doesn’t fuss or even so much as shift from foot to foot—not even while under duress. He’s very still. As for his patience… Theo is well acquainted with never getting what he wants no matter how long he waits, so he has the patience of a saint.
6. How much thought does your oc put into what they wear/look like? Any reason why?
Theo has to think about what he’s wearing very carefully. He’s essentially living three separate lives and has different attire for each of them. He has the typical refined masculine fashion he has to wear whenever he’s around his family, the casual fashion he dresses in for his college life, and then the more fun, colorful, androgynous fashion that he wears for his nightlife activities. He’s separated his life into three neat little boxes while he himself stands at a distance from them, wiping his hands on his legs nervously.
With regards to skin and hair care, he doesn’t do much. Theo has naturally good skin (even when he was a teenager) and only uses facial cleanser and lotions on it. His hair is the same and all he does to it, aside from washing it, is use different oils to keep it soft. He doesn’t allot much time to these things as he has other things he believes he needs to focus on (academics, for one). 
7. Does your oc collect anything? What about knowledge or facts? How big is their collection?
Theo collects these small, intricately crafted decorative bells! He loves the sounds they make and how pretty they are. He has an entire curio cabinet full of them and is methodical in dusting them off and wiping them down regularly. He also has a ton of other knick knacks and things he’s picked up over the years scattered all around his apartment, but the bells are what he’s most attached to, I believe.
8. What kind of flavors does your oc like? How much spice can they handle?
Theo has been eating spicy food since he was a child, so he takes it like a champ. I don’t think he’s ever had anything that was too spicy for him. The burn is nothing to him. Moving on, Theo isn’t picky and will eat whatever is given to him, no matter the flavor. He does actually dislike sweets, though, and has a hard time eating them when they’re given to him. To be clear, he’ll still eat them… he just doesn’t actually like them and grimaces the whole way through. Theo has a really strange relationship with food. 
9. How easily does your oc trust others? Any particular reason why? How trustworthy are they themselves?
Theo had his trust broken by the abuse and neglect he faced when he was just a little boy. He’s never felt safe around others as a result and the effects of that have definitely leaked over onto everything else in his life, staining any chance he could’ve had at forming normal bonds with others. It’s not even that he doesn’t trust people easily, but rather that he distrusts everyone on principle and is suspicious of every kindness or placid smile he receives. Even when he’s being pampered, he feels uneasy and suspicious of what will come next—what he thinks has to come next. He believes that there’s something malignant and twisted at the core of everyone who tries to touch him. If he can’t find the intent to harm that he always expects to see, he’ll just sow the seed himself.
As for Theo, I believe he’s trustworthy to a point. You can trust that Theo won’t tell other people the things you’ve told him in confidence, but you can’t exactly trust him not to turn around and start hurling the things you’ve told him right back in your face. Theo lashes out when he gets nervous or scared, especially if he’s in withdrawal, and he has this ability to see through people… to know what will slice them apart easiest, what they dislike most about themselves… that is almost impossible to come back from. You have to be incredibly strong, mentally speaking, to be able to handle Theo sometimes. He’ll tremble while hurting you, but he’ll hurt you nonetheless.
10. What are some of your oc’s pet peeves? How do they handle it when the annoyance doesn’t stop?
Theo actually has a lot of pet peeves… so much so that I don’t think it’d be a wise use of my time to list them all, lest we be here for days. I’ll just list off some of the things that annoy him the most out of everything. 
Theo really doesn’t like being prodded for answers to personal questions, especially if they relate to his childhood or family life. He doesn’t like it when he’s interrupted or talked down to. He doesn’t like being touched unexpectedly or having someone stand too close to him and will flinch reactively. He doesn’t like having the spotlight on him—or, at least, he doesn’t like it when he’s not all uninhibited from intoxication. He especially doesn’t like arrogance (lmao).
How Theo reacts is totally dependent on who he’s around, whether or not he’s using, and whichever one of these pet peeves is getting to him, but in general he’s either going to shut down, glare and shoot off at the mouth, or walk away.
11. Does your oc have a good sense of direction? Do they get lost easily?
Theo’s sense of direction is okay, but it definitely could be better. His memory itself isn’t very great and he often finds himself feeling déjà vu in places he swears he’s never been to while forgetting the basic landmarks that’re around the city he lives in. 
12. How well would your oc handle being placed in a leadership position?
Not well at all. Theo doesn’t want to be responsible for other people when he can hardly even take care of himself. The idea of being some kind of authority is nausea inducing to him. I think a lot of people would willingly follow him, though, because he really does have this innate ability to draw people in even when he’s not trying to.
13. What is your oc’s confidence like? Are they self-confident to the point of being arrogant? Are they terribly self-deprecating?
Theo often seems to other people as though he has a lot of self-confidence because of the way he talks and how he carries himself, but in actuality he’s rather disparaging toward himself. He’s always second guessing himself and wondering if he’s good enough. He feels as though he’s missing some vital part of himself that everyone else must have, something that without which he’s never going to be fully whole and deserving of love. 
14. What is your oc’s speech like? How loud are they usually? Do they have an accent or a stutter?
Theo has a very clear voice and never slurs. However, he does start mumbling if he’s beginning to withdraw into himself or if he’s only just woken up and sleep is still clinging to him. He speaks quietly, never wanting to be too loud and draw too much attention to himself (a habit he formed in his childhood). His American English accent is largely neutral without any extra stresses or dips.
He did actually develop a stutter in his teenage years but underwent speech therapy for it. 
15. What is your oc’s memory like? Do they remember certain things better than others? Do they have any strategies to better remember things?
Theo often has lapses in his memory that’re either brought upon by or made worse by drug use and trauma. There are events and experiences that his brain just buries from him and he can’t remember them at all. Aside from that, his memory itself isn’t that great, but he’s learned that repetition helps. If he’s studying or has something he really wants to remember well, he’ll read/repeat it forwards and then backwards a few times. He takes a ton of notes as well and has a journal that he writes in every day now. He’s aware that his memory gets better when he lays off the drug use for a while, but… he’s addicted. He doesn’t try getting clean for a while and relapses many times before it finally sticks.
16. How affectionate is your oc? How do they convey their affection? By being touchy, or through more subtle ways?
Whether it’s platonic or romantic, Theo isn’t very affectionate at all. He doesn’t even really have a baseline for what real physical and verbal affection is meant to look like anymore, as his memories of the affection his childhood au pair showed him keep fading more and more as each day passes.
Theo can only picture affection if it’s hard—if it’s brutal and rough and will ultimately hurt him. He can’t really wrap his head around softness anymore. That kind of touch is almost unbearable to him… because if he could’ve always had gentle hands on him, then what did he do so wrong to deserve the ones he got? 
He wants to be affectionate, but… it’s too much. He’s too fearful and ashamed of everything he wants and it’s all just building up inside of him. Voicing desire out loud is nearly impossible for him as well, because he just feels so much shame around it… how it deviates from everything he’s been told he should want… how it’s been used against him… 
It takes a lot of time to get him used to gentle affection and when he starts to reciprocate it, it’s tentative at first. He’ll stand close by and then he’ll reach out to hold onto an arm or grip tight onto the back of a shirt for just a few seconds. Just… little progress at a time, these small victories where warmth spreads through his fingers. It takes well over a year before he becomes more bold and will initiate kisses or hugs. Still, though, he won’t voice his affections or even his desires. Not for a very long time.
The only exception to this is when he’s hurt. He seeks Matthias out and will wait to be touched before clinging on tightly and letting it all out.
17. How polite is your oc? Do they know how to act in a formal situation? How would they *actually* act in a formal situation?
Theo isn’t very polite unless he’s in the presence of his parents or is somewhere where he’s expected to uphold his family name. He knows how to act in formal situations well enough and will follow the rules set out for those occasions when he needs to. Outside of formal situations and away from his parents, though, Theo is often dismissive and cold and will skim over the standards of politeness. It’s the only way he knows how to defend himself anymore.
18. How physically strong is your oc? Is their agility or endurance better?
Theo isn’t very strong at all. He has some lean muscle that’s a combination of natural testosterone paired with light cardio (he dances, plays a few sports when he gets the opportunity to, and sometimes jogs) but that’s it. I think his stamina isn’t that great but he’s fast and reacts quickly—though he finds it hard to actually dodge when he should… even when he can see it coming. His tolerance for pain has adapted over time and is rather high now, but the emotional effects of being hurt still get to him.
19. What is your oc’s creative skillset? Music, drawing, writing, dancing, etc.? Or are they lacking creativity entirely?
I think Theo is actually really creative even without him realizing it. He really enjoys dancing and is free while moving, doing whatever he thinks feels good; he wasn’t taught professionally at all, so it’s just intuitive and fun for him. He keeps track of things in his journal, but he has a certain style to the way he writes that I think is incredibly descriptive and lends itself to creativity. In all of his English and Literature classes he received a ton of high praise that was ultimately ignored as it wasn’t relevant to the direction his life was planned to go in (with relation to his future major in business). He doesn’t draw or play music, but I think he’d be good at it if he ever allowed himself the time to have those creative outlets. Theo’s pretty strict with himself, honestly, but his imagination… it’s definitely there. I think as a child he was used to entertaining himself by imagining a different life for himself, one where his au pair took him with them when they left his home. 
20. Does your oc have any favorite games to pass the time? What other hobbies do they have?
Theo people watches, if that counts. He likes observing people and picking out details about their life from their behaviors and the way they dress. His other hobbies… hm. I don’t think he has very many, truthfully. He likes to go partying and will get intoxicated however he can and go dancing, maybe even play a few drinking games. He likes playing sports but he doesn’t often get the opportunity to since he doesn’t have any friends (in his mind). He likes to collect things and window shop. He likes journaling. Yeah… that’s really all I can think of. Theo doesn’t allow himself very many simple joys.
21. Is your oc expressive, or would they rather conceal their emotions? What are their typical expressions like?
Theo can certainly try very hard to conceal his emotions, but his eyes… they give everything away if you’re truly paying attention. He can be very impassive at times, especially if he’s hurt, but when he’s frustrated it’s incredibly obvious; his brow furrows and he glares directly at whatever or whomever is bothering him. He hides his hurt well, but when he’s feverish and sick you can kind of catch onto it by the sweat on his brow and the flush of his cheeks. Theo’s smile itself is incredibly rare and kind of… clumsy? His smile is crooked and he never holds it for very long. If you call out his name he’ll startle and quickly look toward you, and in those few seconds of shock his face gives away how terrified he truly is most of the time. 
22. How easily does your oc fare in the sun? Do they tan or burn easily? Are they completely unaffected?
Theo doesn’t burn at all even when he doesn’t apply any sunscreen. Let it be known that Matthias is always reaching out to Theo to put some on him when they’re together, fussing over Theo and complaining about the harms of the sun… it’s cute. Theo doesn’t tan that easily so he has to put suntan lotion on whenever he wants to.
23. How graceful is your oc? Are they elegant in their movements, or more clumsy?
Theo has a grace that comes to him easily now through years of practice. Because of how ambitious both of his parents were for wealth and status, he’d been brought to numerous social functions that required a lot of him when it came to manners and poise. He never learned in a professional capacity, but he has a kind of elegance that was ingrained in him by a militaristic approach to teaching from his parents as well as observation. There’s nothing clumsy about the way he moves when in public and you would assume he’s someone who’s very confident in himself just by watching him from across the room.
24. Is your oc a romantic, or are they grossed out by the simple mention of anything romantic?
Hm. I don’t think Theo outwardly shows any romantic tendencies, but inwardly… in that soft, guarded place inside of him… I think he makes himself sick yearning for love and romance. He doesn’t let on to those feelings of his at all. In fact, I think Theo probably shrinks away from mentions of romance, insisting he doesn’t need it… but really, it’s something he imagines all the time. What must it be like, to have that for yourself? Does it hurt? How bad is it? Is it painless? Does it fill you up? Does it ever feel like enough? Thoughts like those.
25. How stubborn is your oc? Are they open to considering different options or opinions, or are they more closed off?
Theo is incredibly stubborn. You can certainly try to convince him to change his opinion or what he believes, but you’re going to be fighting tooth and nail against a man who is wholly inflexible. Theo’s formed a lot of very fast and hard opinions over the course of his life that he’s unreceptive to changing for his own peace of mind. He might let some allowances slip by, but don’t count on it. I honestly don’t think he’d ever give in and change them unless he’s been hit with solid facts or experiences something for himself that points to the contrary. 
26. How does your oc sleep? Do they move around a lot? What position does your oc normally sleep in? What are their typical bedding arrangements like?
Theo is a very anxious, fitful sleeper. He’s wound up all tight through the night and will fist his hands in his covers or his pillows. He moves around a lot and prefers to sleep with his back to a wall and the door a great distance away from him. He can’t sleep if he’s on the first floor of a building or if he doesn’t check all of the locks first. Theo sleeps on his side and will actually startle awake if he rolls over onto his stomach, heart in his throat and sweat at his temples. Theo’s bed in his apartment has… three, maybe four pillows—one of which he hugs to his chest. On his bed, he has two sets of sheets, a comforter, and a blanket. Theo has a sort of crowded bed, honestly, but it cradles him… which is something he needs to feel safe.
27. What is your oc’s sleep schedule like? Are they a night owl, an early morning riser, or do they get any sleep at all?
Theo prefers the morning as he doesn’t like the dark and feels worse without sunlight. But… hm… Theo doesn’t get a lot of sleep since he’s either out partying and getting too intoxicated to stand or he’s up all night pouring over his study notes and getting a headache for it. I’d say he normally falls asleep around 3AM-4AM and doesn’t wake back up until 7AM. Four-ish hours is pretty average for how much sleep he gets a night… maybe less at times. He’s wearing himself down and will end up crashing eventually… 
28. How organized is your oc? How important is organization to your oc?
Theo is very organized when it comes to his study materials and his wardrobe, but the state of the rest of his apartment is… I wouldn’t say messy exactly, but cluttered enough that he has trouble finding things sometimes. He has so much on his plate already that his apartment kind of suffers for it. I think he values organization a lot, it’s just that he lets it get away from him. I think there’s a lot you can learn about Theo from how his apartment looks…
29. If a perfume was to be made to represent your oc, what sorts of smells would be included in it?
I think Theo is best represented by light scents as he himself doesn’t really like anything that smells too chemical. He hardly ever wears cologne, but when he does he sticks to a fresh green scent. Powder and soap… that’s what reminds me of him most. Lemon, too, but not strong… just a hint of citrus.
30. How caring/empathetic is your oc? Are they the type to immediately adopt and protect others, or are they a true sadist?
Kindness hasn’t come easily to Theo since he was a child, so I’m not sure if he’s very caring anymore… at least, if he is then he doesn’t outwardly show it. Theo does have a learned kind of empathy, though… just not… a very real kind? Um, so because of the hostile environment he grew up in he had to adapt to subtle changes in expression, mood, and tone… he needed to know when he was in danger, what alert signs there were. The easier people became to read, the more he could feel their emotions spill over and try to pull him in. It’s… not exactly as if he’s sharing the feelings, but more like he has a very real sense of them… it’s almost tangible.
31. What inspired the creation of your oc? Any specific things, a general aesthetic or idea, or something completely random?
Theo is a pretty old character of mine… I’d say he’s been with me for at least five years now. Originally, I think he was just… a vague idea in my head with some aesthetic choices in mind (sweaters, abandoned houses, autumn leaves, dirty shoes)... but over time I started getting more invested. I think one of the main building blocks of his character was actually a really old post I saw about a bloody child bringing a rabbit they'd saved from a hawk into the house and trying to get their mom to notice, but the mom just blew them off because she was busy on the phone… yeah. I kind of got that stuck in my head and built up this neglected kid around it who was a little sarcastic, mean, buried under all kinds of responsibilities, and lonely. His actual appearance in TS4 wasn't even really meant to be him at first, as I'd just been making random male sims at the time and then one of the ones I made kept drawing my attention back to them. I made some slight changes and then I decided that would be Theo. He still looks pretty similar to the original sim, actually.
32. How judgemental is your oc? Do they keep an open mind about people, or are they the type to judge a book by its cover?
Oh, Theo is super judgmental. He’s distrustful of people on principle and highly perceptive, which is an all around bad combination since he can quickly spin the innocuous into something worse. 
33. What five objects or things could be expected to be found on your oc’s person at any time? Why?
Theo has a bag that he keeps his planner, his phone, his keys, some cash, and hand sanitizer in… occasionally there’s some baggies in there if he’s stressed out from too many assignments or pressure from his parents.
34. Does your oc have a pet? If they could have another one or if they were to get one, what would it be? How well could they care for it?
No, Theo has no pets. He wouldn’t even know what kind of pet to get. Theo had never even been around any pets until he met Matthias’s cat. I also think… well. Theo wouldn’t be very good at caring for a pet. Like, I don’t even think he’d be good at feeding fish regularly. He doesn’t have that kind of time and can barely even take care of himself.
35. Does your oc have any distinguishing markings? Scars, tattoos, birthmarks, freckles, etc?
Theo is covered in beauty marks from head to toe. I think his most notable (at least to me) beauty marks are the two under his left eye and the one on the tip of his nose. Theo has no birthmarks, freckles, or tattoos. Theo also has no scars… every violent hand laid on him has been intentional in pulling back just before leaving behind any lasting marks.
36. What is your oc’s fight or flight response like? What sorts of things provoke it the most?
When Theo’s nervous (around other people, in discussions that’re too personal, when confronted by emotions, etc.) I’d say he falsely exhibits the fight response and will become a bit nasty as a defensive maneuver. If he’s pushed past defensive behaviors and is actually put into harm's way, the fight response quickly melts away to his real fear responses. As a specific result of trauma, Theo displays both the fawn and freeze responses. His parents bring about the fawn response and figures of authority bring out the freeze response. I’ll leave it at that.
37. How does your oc handle heavy stress? Do they have any specific coping mechanisms? Are they healthy or not?
Theo is used to stress as he’s been put under a lot of it since he was a teenager. That said, he’s never been able to manage it healthily and his go-to way to cope is by numbing everything out. Theo abuses substances and sex… and I suppose that by nature of both of these coping mechanisms he’s also abusing himself. It’s obviously not good for him and as time goes on he begins to spin out of control.
38. What does your oc do to relax? Any specific activities? Why?
Theo never truly allows himself to relax, like, ever. Hm. I do think there are small moments, though, where he finds some peace. When he’s in his apartment he’ll sometimes reach into the curio cabinet that holds his collection of tiny little bells and give a few of them a ring… the sounds they give off are very sweet and make him smile. In the morning, when he wakes up at his apartment, he likes to watch the birds fluttering about outside his bedroom window; there’s a window box just there that’s home to a nest. He’s never once tried to interact with the birds, though. He just stares and watches silently from his bed.
39. Does your oc have any nicknames? What are the origins of them? If they don’t, can you come up with some possible ones?
Theo is in itself a nickname that he gave himself when he moved out of his parents’ home (Theodore is his full name). Most everyone in his personal life calls him Theo except for his parents, his extended family, and the people that his parents associate with.
Matthias has given Theo a couple personal nicknames and also calls him a bunch of others. My personal favorite of the nicknames Matthias has given Theo is Bambi, which was originally given to him because his last name is Doe (a doe is a kind of deer… hence Matthias reaching for the name of an animated deer). Matthias also calls him Bambi because of his golden brown eyes and because Theo is sort of wobbly and green in Matthias’s eyes, reminding him of that scene wherein Bambi tries to walk for the first time. Matthias also calls Theo mała myszko, which means little mouse in Polish (Matthias’s native language), and he often uses my darling at the same time (like: “My darling, mała myszko, it’s time to get up”). As for regular nicknames, Angel is what Matthias calls Theo most often in the heat of sex (again, a nickname often said alongside my darling, as in: “My darling angel”). There are many more pet names that Matthias calls Theo, but those are the ones he hears most often.
40. What languages does your oc know? Are there any they want to learn but haven’t had the chance to? How good are they at picking up new ones?
Theo is only fluent in English and Spanish, however he can read Hangul and understand Korean when it’s spoken to or around him. He doesn’t have the time to learn any other languages and doesn’t exactly have a desire to either. I think his parents have definitely pushed him to learn more languages as they would benefit his career, but he has too much going on as it is to learn at the moment. 
41. What was the worst injury your oc ever suffered? Has it had any long lasting impact on them?
I’m not going to answer that first part, but I will say that it did impact him grievously and has rippled out through his whole life.
42. Is your oc an optimist or a pessimist? Any particular reason why?
Theo’s a pessimist. He’s never had much to be happy about and is on a path in his life that is being entirely puppeteered by his parents. Theo has nothing to look forward to and feels like his life is out of his own control and already over. 
Through the course of the little story that I have for Echthroi in my head, however, Theo does eventually move away from the pessimism. I don’t think he becomes an optimist exactly, but he smiles more and finds things to look forward to in his life.
43. How important are the rules to your oc? Do they follow them to a t, or do they enjoy breaking them?
Theo definitely has a history as a rule follower. He can’t really help it, not with the way he was raised. He had rebellious moments as a teenager—refusing to sit down for a haircut, stabbing a needle through his own ears to pierce them—but those were things he did to incite his parents’ attention. Now, though… well. I think he still follows most rules, but he does use drugs… pretty big rule to break there, legally speaking.
44. How violent is your oc? Or are they more of a pacifist? To what lengths will they go to start/avoid a conflict?
Theo is all bark and no bite. He’ll lash out if he’s frightened, he’ll insult and dismiss, but the second he sees a telling twitch of the hand or building tension in the jaw he goes quiet and retreats. He’s only ever tried fighting back a few times… he doesn’t have it in him anymore.
45. How is your oc around animals? What about children?
Theo isn’t good with children and is awkward and fumbling with animals. He’s never been around a lot of kids, but… I don’t know. I think seeing children hurts him, a lot of the time. The happier they are, the more Theo wants to escape. With animals… he doesn’t know how to touch them or even how to approach. Matthias’s cat, Odious, is very friendly and makes Theo freeze up when she comes over to lay in his lap. It takes him months to get used to her. He doesn’t hate either of them to be clear. Like, he’s not a total weirdo, he just… he doesn’t know how to act around them.
46. Does your oc lie a lot, or is the truth very important to them? What is their reaction to other people lying to them?
Theo isn’t a very good liar but he has a lot that he has to keep secret… because of this, he’s learned how to skirt around the truth and evades questions that poke and prod with ease. However, I think despite how frequently he tells half-truths, he’s actually someone who doesn’t like lying. He’s used to being told lies, though. He’s been lied to rather often and even though he can see through it effortlessly now that he’s had so many years to catch on to the signs, it still hurts him. He doesn’t outwardly show that he knows the truth, but internally it tears him up.
47. How much of a prankster is your oc? Are their pranks truly evil, or more harmless, positive ones?
Theo doesn’t like pranks. He doesn’t like startling people and doesn’t find it humorous. He doesn’t ever want to make anyone feel fear. He knows what that’s like all too well.
48. What are your oc’s nervous tics? Are they aware of them? Do they attempt to hide them?
I was going to say Theo has no nervous tics, but I suppose the way he lashes out is a kind of nervous tic. Physically speaking, though, Theo shows next to no signs of distress. He isn’t someone who fidgets ever, though he does still get the urge to at times. If he ever slips up and moves a hand clumsily in the air or shifts uncomfortably, he’ll catch himself and freeze, righting himself without drawing any more attention to himself. 
Theo is still skittish, though. Like, he won’t shift around or bounce a leg, but he startles easily. Call his name and he jumps, make a loud noise and he jumps, say something unexpectedly and he jumps. He’s never been able to hide that.
49. What would be the perfect gift for your oc? What would be their reaction to receiving it?
If you gave Theo a bell his cheeks would get all pink and he wouldn’t be able to look away from it… he’d hold it very gently in his hands, not wanting to drop it. He’d say thank you all soft and quiet, then place it with the rest of his collection. He’d smile to himself, but he wouldn’t smile at you. 
I also think bandaging Theo up would feel like a gift to him. No one’s ever taken care of him like that before.
50. How attentive is your oc? How perceptive are they? How easily do they get distracted?
Theo’s incredibly perceptive and when he’s focused on one thing it’s almost impossible to pull his attention away from it. He’s pretty discipled, honestly, because of all the studying and the focus he’s needed to keep up with it. I think Matthias is the only person who can distract Theo… the ways in which he goes about doing that are best left to the imagination. Have fun.
51. If your oc was to receive an award for something, what would it most likely be for? Have they received any awards in the past?
Theo’s won many different kinds of academic awards throughout school. Honestly… I don’t know any specific awards I’d give him…
52. In what ways does your oc cope with anger? How easily angered are they? Do they lash out?
Theo only lashes out when he’s scared, not from anger. Anger is an emotion that frightens Theo, that colors his cheeks with shame. He’s been on the receiving end of anger most of his life, so to feel it himself is… horrifying. I think Theo believes anger forces your hand, that it’s always this uncontrollable act of violence no matter what. He represses his anger frantically, desperate not to frighten anyone, not to hurt. He’s very hard to make angry and there’s next to nothing someone could do to make him act on his anger, even if it would be justified. He gets annoyed, he huffs, he rolls his eyes, he insults, but he never raises his voice, he never throws his fist, he never threatens. 
53. If your oc was to host a podcast or TV show, what would it be about? Would your oc actually be good at it? What sorts of guests would appear?
Theo would rather watch paint dry than host any kind of show, let’s be clear. However, I think he has a very good podcast voice. I can imagine him doing a podcast where he reads to you until you fall asleep. No guests, just his voice.
54. How would you describe your oc’s voice to sound like? Do you have any voice claims for them?
Theo is soft-spoken. His voice is unassuming and haunting… you close your eyes to listen and feel the chills running up your arms. He pronounces his words almost delicately, giving an alluring color to his voice. Like a mirage in the desert, you want to drink it in, to hold it in your own mouth just to taste it for a while. When Theo speaks, you get the impression that he’s not all there, something disengaged in his tone. It drives people to take a step closer, wanting to hear more of it, to be worthy of his full attention. It’s a voice you could listen to every day and still find yourself drawing a blank when trying to imagine the avatar behind it.
No voice claims.
55. How sensitive to loud sound is your oc? Do they prefer constant high background noise, low background noise, or complete silence?
Theo is very jumpy around loud noises. If he isn’t prepared for it (like knowingly heading into a club where the music is going to be booming) he’ll flinch and turn his eyes to the ground quickly, shaking out his hands before going statue-still again. Theo prefers complete silence or quiet background noises like a fan or soft, melodious music.
56. What is your oc’s favorite color? If you had to choose one color to represent your oc, what would it be and why?
Theo’s favorite color is probably some shade of red. And I think a fiery orange represents Theo well. Theo reminds me a lot of fire… he’s someone who keeps standing still while smoke is pouring out of his ears, burning quietly in the middle of an abandoned room.
57. How good is your oc’s sight? Do they wear glasses? Do they need glasses? Do they have some form of night vision?
Theo has perfect eyesight.
58. How would you describe your oc’s appearance to someone who’s looking for them? What features would be most identifiable?
I’d probably start waxing poetic about him, honestly. I’d just be giving way too much detail… like:
Theo’s features are delicate and soft-edged. He’s slender with narrow shoulders and of average height. His skin is light brown with a dark smattering of moles all over. His face is round and ruddy cheeked. His brows are straight and dark. His eyes are a light golden brown, sometimes mistaken for hazel, with puffy bags underneath that give a youthful yet tired appearance. His nose is button shaped with a straight bridge. His lips are plump and full. His hair is dark brown and tumbles down to his collarbone in thick waves. His gaze is cool, assessing. He carries such an air of hurt around him that your heart aches when you see him. You could fall in love with him easily.
I think whoever I’m giving instructions to would forget half of what I’d said and only remember the part where I mentioned his long hair. And… hm… I’d say his ruddy cheeks are his most identifiable feature for sure.
59. How good at cooking is your oc? What can they cook/what is their favorite thing to cook?
I think Theo is very bad at taking care of himself, so he actually forgets to eat frequently now that he’s living on his own for college. Regardless… I think he’s decent at cooking. Despite his family having enough money that they easily could’ve hired help around their home, they didn’t. This means that Theo had to fend for himself at a pretty young age. He knows how to cook pretty basic food, but the way he cooks is… messy. He doesn’t have a favorite thing to cook.
60. How good is your oc at keeping track of time? Are they always late, always early, or always right on time?
Hm… I think Theo actually loses track of time a lot, courtesy of his drug use and memory problems, so he has a handful of recurring alarms set on his phone. He’s always on time because of that. He’d feel sick if he were ever late to something he was required to be at, actually… especially if it was a family event.
61. Is your oc more quick-thinking, or do they take longer to figure things out?
Theo catches on quickly. He’s incredibly perceptive and sees what others cannot with ease. Early on in Theo’s childhood he had to learn how to pick up on subtleties in expressions, on double meanings to words, on tone, on gestures… he had to pick everything apart to protect himself, and as he grew that skill of his did as well and aided him in seeing patterns. He’s able to find answers faster than most other people just from deduction.
62. How quick is your oc? Do they have faster or slower reflexes? What things are they quickest at?
Perhaps it’s due to his good eyesight or his peerless perception, but Theo’s reflexes are incredibly fast. He’s good at running, too, and is lightning quick on his feet. I think he’d have done amazingly in track and field if he ever went for it in school. He's really good at soccer for this reason. Despite his stamina being pretty average, Theo’s the kind of person who will push himself harder and harder even when his body’s telling him to pull back. If he dedicated real time to it, I think he could train for a couple of years and come back playing better than anyone.
63. How self-disciplined is your oc? Do they often think before they act, or the other way around?
Theo always thinks things over first and isn’t one for snap decisions. In fact, I’d say Theo actually makes himself sick from how much thinking he’s always doing. One of the many reasons Theo uses drugs is because of how effective they are at shutting off his brain. He’s inundated by the responsibilities of his life—of which he feels he has no control over—and loses whenever he tries outrunning the thoughts that swirl around in his head. Drugs are the easiest way he’s found to get it all to just… stop.
Theo is also very serious about his education, and, in that way, he’s admirably self-disciplined. 
64. Which of the seven deadly sins does your oc fall under most? What about the seven heavenly virtues?
Hm… picking a sin for Theo is surprisingly hard. I think Theo’s strongest sin is… maybe envy? Definitely not gluttony or greed, though, that’s for sure.
As for the heavenly virtues, I think Theo best exemplifies fortitude, followed by prudence and temperance.
65. If you were to give your oc a new superpower, what would you choose and why? If *they* were to be able to choose, what would it be and why?
I think I’d want to give Theo something he could use to protect himself and that would offer him a sense of comfort. Maybe just give him invulnerability outright or something subtler that would make it easy for him to escape situations he doesn’t want to be in. Flight? Invisibility? 
As for Theo, I think he’d want something repellant. A forcefield of some kind…?
66. What sort of advice would people go to your oc for? What sort of advice is your oc actually good at giving?
Theo isn’t good at giving advice and would shake his head at being asked.
67. How many people does your oc prefer to be around? A crowd, a few friends, or all on their own?
Theo is interesting in that he’s a loner but he also goes out of his way to enter clubs and join throngs of people in the ebb and flow of dance, blending in with them in the dark. I think Theo is actually lonely at his core and ultimately is unhappy being so solitary—a truth he neither acknowledges to himself nor to others. A small group of people who he trusts and loves would soothe him best.
68. What sorts of things would cheer your oc up when they’re down? Is your oc sad often, or is it more rare?
Calling Theo sad would be an understatement. Theo’s full of woe and has little in his life that brings him joy. I think he’s very used to the way he feels but… I do think simple things would make him smile. Something as easy as saying that he’s been missed would do the trick. Just… the implication that he’s been thought of and isn’t easily forgotten… yeah.
69. How energetic is your oc? Are they constantly tired, or constantly bouncing off the walls?
Theo has the weight of the world on his shoulders and is operating on just a few hours of sleep most days, so he’s pretty much low energy up until the moment he’s free of his responsibilities and can let loose. You can see him start to come alive when he’s partying, even while sober—his cheeks flush, his eyes light up, and his body moves fluidly. It’s only when he’s on uppers that he actually starts bouncing off the walls.
70. What about your oc’s lifestyle would they change if they had the ability? Why?
I don’t think Theo would even know where to begin… 
71. What is your oc’s go-to for offense? What weapon, what style of fighting? Or are words more their weapon of choice?
I don’t actually think Theo has any offensive preferences, because he’s not really a fighter. That human instinct to fight back was trained out of him very young… so. Yeah. He does have a scathing way of speaking that can definitely be used to hurt, though.
72. What is your oc’s ideal environment like? Urban or natural? Fancy or rustic? What’s the weather like?
Theo wants to be away from it all. He wants to be unreachable. The further away he is from other people, the better. So… somewhere where there’s more nature than there are buildings. As for the weather… hm… Theo prefers cool weather as he likes bundling up, but he doesn’t want to be stuck in the snow all the time. A nice, mild climate.
73. If your oc were to be arrested, what would it most likely be for? Is it justified? Have they actually been arrested before?
Well… I think I’m going to have to say the drug use is probably what’d do him in. Is it justified…? Well, he does use drugs… but I personally don’t think drugs should be criminalized and instead believe in harm reduction.
74. How would your oc act when drunk? What about when really, really tired?
Theo actually doesn’t get drunk very often as he doesn’t really like the taste of alcohol and would rather just use drugs. When he does drink enough to get intoxicated, I think the effect is pretty similar to how he is when he’s on milder drugs. Drunk Theo is unrestrained in how he moves, letting himself be as unrefined as he couldn’t be as a child. He waves his hands around and bounces his legs to let out some energy. He throws his head back when he’s feeling good without fear of being told to mind his manners. His inhibitions are all but nonexistent and he speaks whatever thoughts come to mind. All of those walls he’s built up around himself come tumbling down and he forgets why he was ever afraid to exist as he is in the first place.
Theo becomes sluggish and irritable (...more irritable than he normally is, anyway) when he’s stayed up for far too long. He has little time for anyone else and is focused solely on whatever it is that’s been keeping him up. He gets dizzy when he’s lacking sleep and has a hard time staying on task, though. He doesn’t normally let himself get this tired, but it does happen. He has a lot of trouble getting himself to fall asleep after he reaches this point. Whenever Matthias sees Theo like this, he’ll walk Theo to the bath even as Theo huffs and complains testily. He’ll wait for the tub to fill up while he brushes out Theo’s hair and kisses down his neck, speaking softly to Theo all the while. He’ll get Theo in the water and either slide in behind him or sit just outside the bath. He’ll wash Theo’s hair and gently scrub his body, unbothered when Theo’s head falls back onto his shoulder or against his chest, soaking through his shirt. Theo normally becomes fully pliant by the time Matthias is pulling him out of the water, staying quiet as Matthias dries him off, dresses him, and lays him down in the bed. Matthias will only be away for a moment to grab a book before coming back to hold Theo, blocking the door from Theo’s sight. Theo sleeps like a baby after all of that and Matthias lays awake holding him until noon.
75. What would your oc’s dream home be like? How big would it be? What sorts of rooms would be in it? Where would it be located?
Truthfully, Theo doesn’t like big open spaces. I think there’s a loneliness to big houses that unsettles him. He could never feel comfortable somewhere with too many doors, either… too many shadowy corners, not enough assurance that someone couldn’t be hiding in them. So Theo would rather live somewhere smaller, with just the right amount of space for him and all of his things. Honestly, his apartment is pretty perfect for him already.
76. What is/was your oc’s relationship with their family like? Was it happy, tense, or abusive? What living family does your oc currently have, if any?
Theo’s relationship with his parents has always been one of control. Theo doesn’t speak unless spoken to and falls in line at their every word. His father has plans for Theo to join him in his business and his mother begrudgingly allows it, though she would have rather had him following in her footsteps. Theo’s parents see him as a tool… of which they’ve had to beat into proper shape. Theo grew up under the tender care of his childhood au pair while his parents focused on their careers and their status, and it was only when Theo became old enough that he could take care of himself that they sent away his au pair and decided it was their turn to step in. He’d experienced abuse at the hands of his parents before, but his au pair had shielded him from much more than he was ever even aware of. When his parents would leave him to his own devices he found solace in isolation. His mid-teens were when things got worse for him, but his parents weren’t as physical with him past that as he’d learned to behave how they wanted. Now as an adult he’s no longer under their roof but still comes when they call on him. He’s desperate for their affection and approval, of which he never sees.
77. Does your oc like to wear any particular accessories? Hats, jewelry, scarves, etc.?
Theo likes to wear jewelry. He always has a pair of earrings on and will occasionally throw on a necklace. He doesn’t have any particular set he prefers to wear, but he does go for gold more than silver. 
78. How socially skilled is your oc? Are they good at understanding social cues? How charismatic are they?
Theo’s actually very charismatic without trying to be and when he does intentionally turn on the charm (mostly when his parents are requiring him to be at their little soirées) he becomes irresistible. Being a moth caught in his light is… blissful. He picks up on social cues without breaking a sweat and is very good at playing along when he needs to.
But, on a personal level, Theo lacks a social life. He has the people he associates with at parties, but he doesn’t view them as his friends (even though they are…) and doesn’t communicate with them outside of the clubs they go to (even though they try to keep in contact with him). When he doesn’t have to play pretend for his parents, he’s actually pretty hard to get along with and most people resort to watching him from afar. He’s still charming, mind you, but he’s not… um, nice, exactly.
79. For what reason would your oc turn into a villain? And if they’re already a villain, vice-versa?
Honestly… Theo’s been put through a lot and he’s still good at his core, so I can’t imagine there’s anything that could turn him into a villain… that’s just not who he is.
80. What is your oc’s handwriting like? How easy is it to read? Can they write/read cursive?
Theo’s handwriting is even and strong. He doesn’t waste time by adding any extravagant details and has a print style that is consistent from letter to letter. He writes in print almost exclusively, but he does use cursive when he’s writing more formal letters. His cursive is similar to his print in that it’s written with a heavy hand and each stroke is dark and thick.  
81. How good is your oc at drawing? What is their preferred art medium, and what is their artstyle like?
Theo’s never really sat down to draw before… or, at least, not since he was a child. Nevertheless, I do think he’d be good at it if he took the time to practice for a year or two. Theo puts his all into studying, so I imagine he’d work tirelessly at it. He’d do those one-drawing-a-day challenges and he’d push himself to think outside of the box. His art would be incredibly creative… I wish he’d allow himself that.
82. What would be your oc’s ultimate dream vacation? Where would they go? Who would they take with them? What would they do?
Theo doesn’t have an “ultimate dream vacation” in his back pocket… like, there’s nothing he fantasizes about. He can’t even think of a concrete destination that he’d want to go for a vacation. He would just get stressed trying to think of something and then he’d freak out about how far behind it’d put him academically… it’d ripple out to the rest of his responsibilities and he’d be lost. He can’t let that happen.
83. What is your oc’s favorite trait about themselves? What about their least liked? What would others like and dislike the most about your oc?
I’ve been thinking this over a lot, because, y’know, Theo really doesn’t like himself. He has a serious amount of self-loathing pulling him down, so it’s hard really coming up with anything he likes about himself. But I think Theo might actually like how perceptive he is, because it’s what keeps him safe. I’m not saying it’s his favorite thing, because that implies he’s got other traits he really likes and that’s really not the case. As for his least liked trait, I think Theo thinks his desires are sticky and pathetic and horrible.
In general, I think most people find Theo’s magnetism to be, well, very alluring. The combination of the way Theo carries himself and speaks has an appeal that draws people in. He’s interesting. At times he’s all sharp edges and closed off whereas other times he’s all blurry and open. As for what people dislike about him, it’s most likely how dismissive he is when you get off on the wrong foot with him.
Matthias in particular loves how intelligent and wry Theo is… and he actually likes how dismissive Theo can be with people. Really, he just likes everything.
84. Is your oc more masculine, feminine, androgynous, or something else entirely?
I think Theo’s pretty masculine, though he does wear some androgynous clothing on occasion.
85. What would history remember your oc for? How would they become famous? Or are they the sort that would really only be appreciated long after their death?
In the Echthroi universe, Theo isn’t someone who seeks the spotlight. However, that’s certainly something his parents want for him… hm. I think he’s well known in the upper echelons of his parents’ circle for his intelligence, his manners, and his arresting appearance. I think he’s also famous on his campus… I think a lot of people would like to covet Theo. I don’t think Theo would ever become proper famous, though… like, I have a really hard time even conceptualizing fame for him, just like I have a hard time seeing that for Matthias.
86. What would someone assume about your oc based on their appearance? Would those assumptions be correct?
Hm… on appearance alone, I think Theo gives off a sort of cool elegance. I think he seems doleful and… honestly, a little intimidating. He’s gorgeous, so… you have to be very confident to approach him. Most people would assume he’s dismissive and stuck-up… that he’s quiet… flirtatious… 
I think he definitely does give the cold shoulder a lot of the time and he’s not very talkative, so those would be true. He’s not stuck-up, though… he does keep himself at a distance, but it’s not from some kind of arrogance or self-importance, but rather because he’s desperate to keep himself safe. He’s also only flirty when he’s intoxicated and it’s more reactive than pursuant.
87. What are some of your oc’s physical weak spots? What about emotional/moral ones?
Theo is weak to any kind of affection that’s all soft and sweet. He’s weak to being kissed, to being bitten, to fingers grazing behind his knees, to any kind of touch along his inner thighs. His skin gets sensitive when he’s touched and touched and touched. Emotionally, he’s weak to anger or violence. Morally, he’s weak to his own behaviors and can be unthinkingly cruel or hurtful without just cause. He’s weak to his parents.
88. Does your oc hold grudges? For how long? Does your oc have any rivals?
Theo will hold a grudge until his very last breath. He is very judgmental and forms all these little notions about people before they’ve even spoken a word to him… and then that influences every interaction they have with him afterward. So, you can be nice to Theo, but if he makes a snap judgment about you that’s unfavorable, then he’s going to blow you off. Is he wrong in the judgments he makes? Well… okay, so, not really? Theo is very good at reading people and there are very few times he’s wrong.
That said, Theo's grudges are only the petty, meaningless kind. When it comes to the people who really, truly deserve it, Theo is frustratingly forgiving. Or, not even forgiving, exactly, but rather... he just doesn't acknowledge the real wrongs that've been done to him.
89. What does your oc’s laugh sound like? How often do they laugh? Are they easily amused?
Oh, an angel’s choir. No, I’m kidding… kind of.
Theo’s laugh is very hard to come by because he doesn’t have very much to laugh about. He doesn’t even smile—like, really, truly smile—often. Theo’s pretty much stressed out and exhausted at all times. The only time he’s loosened up is when he’s using drugs to numb everything.
When Theo’s using, he smiles all lopsided and watery, but there’s no light behind his eyes. He’s put together all wrong, you know? He doesn’t really laugh, but he makes these quiet huffing noises when something’s funny to him, often a private joke he’s told himself in his own head.
When he’s sober and he laughs… it’s kind of devastating. The sound of his laugh is similar to his voice, all light and captivating, but there’s this quality to it… this unbridled feeling that Theo almost never shows… that catches everyone off guard. He laughs almost like a child, gasping with it and full-bodied. In that same way, Theo’s happiness and joy is clumsy and innocent. There’s no artifice to it, no rehearsed grace, nothing held back… he laughs until there’s tears in his eyes… and then he just starts crying.
90. Does your oc have any objects they could never give up? Why is it so important to them? Do they have any family heirlooms?
Theo’s deeply attached to his things so there’s a lot that he wouldn’t want to give up. If I had to pick just one object… hm… I think it’s a tie between his memory journal and the perfume his mother gave him when he was a teenager. His memory journal is what’s keeping him together at this point and he relies on it a lot. As for the perfume, it was a gift from his mother after he was accepted into Yale. He’d never be able to part with it (despite it not being to his taste) because it’s the only gift she’s ever given him. 
He’s not in possession of any family heirlooms, but if he were then he’d worry himself sick over them. He’d be terrified of something happening to them and being responsible for it. God… he’d be a mess.
91. What is your oc’s typical posture like? Do they slouch, or stand straight? How much space do they usually take up, both physically and figuratively?
Theo has a respectable upright posture and doesn’t slouch at all. If he’s around his family he’ll stand rigidly with his hands behind his back, holding onto one of his wrists as he listens to the conversations around him. On his own, he tries to keep his hands down at his sides but often finds himself moving to cross his arms over his chest. He doesn’t take up much space physically and keeps himself rather contained, but figuratively speaking… well… Theo has a compelling presence and in that way he’s felt all around the room.
92. What trait does your oc appreciate or admire the most in others? Why?
I think Theo admires when people can just… exist with ease. That freedom he sees in others makes him feel envious and he wishes he had that for himself.
93. What is your oc’s preferred learning style? Observation, hands-on, instruction? Do they take notes or memorize?
Theo prefers to learn via instruction and direction. He wants to be able to read each step carefully and then double back when he needs to. He takes a ton of notes as he uses repetition to help him learn, so oftentimes he’ll go back over his own notes and write them out again.
94. Does your oc rely more on a logical or emotional mindset? What situations would this be the opposite?
I’d say Theo’s more on the logical side than the emotional side… but the way in which he uses logic does stem from an emotional place, if that makes sense? Deep down Theo is scared and just wants to keep himself safe, so he leans on logic more than emotions as he feels that emotions make him weak. 
I think Theo’s walls come down in the face of genuine love and affection.
95. How is your oc about keeping someone else’s secret? Are they the gossiping type, or do they hold true on their promise to keep things quiet?
Theo’s someone who has a lot of secrets, so he’s very good at keeping them. I think he’d never want to break someone’s trust by gossiping. I mean, he also doesn't really have anyone he’d gossip to in the first place… still. He’d keep it to himself no matter what.
96. Describe your oc in three words. What three words would they use to describe themselves?
Oh, well… in order to describe him to others, I’d say Theo is reticent, touchy, and hungry at his core for something he hasn’t yet allowed himself to name (this isn’t one word, but you get it).
Theo has an unstable sense of self and has a very hard time understanding who he is, so when asked to describe himself he wouldn’t know what to say. Questions like this put him under a lot of stress… I think he’d dissociate just from being asked to try.
97. How old is your oc physically? How old are they in mental maturity? When are they most mature, and when are they the least?
Theo is in his early twenties (I don’t have an exact estimation for him, but somewhere between 21 at minimum and 24 at maximum). Mentally… there’s a lot of conflict and inconsistency there (intentionally done!). I’d say Theo is incredibly independent but he’s also financially reliant and emotionally dependent on his parents. He had to grow up at a very young age and in that sense he’s mature, but he also has a lot of childhood trauma and it’s definitely stunted him in some ways. I think Theo has… a very interesting mentality. He’s all over the place and he’s constantly at odds with his own self. There’s a lot going on with him at any given time. His mind is always racing. 
98. Is your oc the type to have a lot of fairly good friends, have a small group of close friends, have one or two best friends, or have no friends at all? Who are they closest to?
Theo refuses to let people get close to him and believes himself to be unworthy of even platonic love, so no… he doesn’t have any friends. Or, rather, Theo doesn’t have anyone he thinks are his friends. In actuality, Theo has four friends that he’s picked up from his time clubbing. He doesn’t see them unless they’re in a party setting, so that might be why Theo views them as being mere acquaintances and nothing more… he puts his nightlife into a little box and tucks that box away in his mind. 
99. What is your oc’s morning routine usually like? What do they eat for breakfast (if they have breakfast)? What time do they usually get up in the morning?
Theo wakes up and is kind of out of it for a few minutes. He lays in the bed and has to take stock of where he is first, because some mornings he finds himself in someone else’s bed. If he’s at someone else’s place, he’s dressed and out of there in under five minutes without so much as a goodbye. If he’s in his own home, he lays in bed for a while, staring without really seeing whatever’s in front of him. He gives himself those few minutes of peace and then he’s sluggishly pulling himself out of bed and getting ready for whatever’s on his schedule. He’s normally up by 7AM and doesn’t eat breakfast.
100. Does your character ever swear? How often? How vulgar is their swearing?
Theo swears occasionally but it’s not, like, in every sentence. He’s not particularly vulgar and instead just says the standard everyday swears. I think he says damn it under his breath more than anything.
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feline-evil · 29 days
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Dick or no dick confirmation Pickles was always going to be trans to me anyways; if he's swingin' somethin that's phallo babes, if he's not then his t-dick fat. What's not to get.
#metalocalypse#jay talkin#I'm sorry they wrote that awful gross little man far too likeable and relatable to on a trans level#for me not to hoot and holler and cheer for the trans pickles agenda#changes nothing about his character arc or any of the show anyone is capable of being the kind of person he is#don't make the mistake of thinking thats exclusive to cis men#his transness wouldnt change that#only adds on an extra layer to him that i think works fantastically.#Listen that dude was rejected by his family driven to drink and drugs young to escape that ran away to be in a band#is called fucking Pickles of all things and refuses to tell anyone his real last name;#over the span of four seasons and two movies he slowly starts to learn to be for others what he never had#he becomes more caring more supportive#it's not a stretch to say he undoes some of the toxic masculinity he's been keeping himself shielded behind#and learns how to be a kinder man.#all of which have no contradictions with him being trans!#In fact it doesn't take much extra thought to find ways a lot of this can line up with some trans masculine experiences#i mean. Did no one else have a younger phase where they swung as far as they could into crass rude and uncaring ways#to try and assert their masculinity only to grow and realise that you can be a man and be more caring.#Did no one else have father issues. 1 800 come on now i know those are both shared experiences a lot of us have had LOL.#at the end of the day this show aired nearly 20 years ago and is finished. we're not getting more of it#so nothing is altered nor changed if pickles is canonically trans or not ok. its fine#i mean hell i dont even need canon confirmation hes trans to me and thats all i care abt#but i think if yr getting suuuuuper weird abt needing him not to be canonically trans you have some issues#and bio essentialist ideals of gender if you think only a cis man can act like he does#again. anyone can be like that. its not exclusive. him being trans would not change him in any way shape or form lol#AND ALSO GODDDUUUGH for once i love getting to see a guy pushing 50 whos depicted as trans#do you have any idea how dire and barren it is out here. we never get to see a trans guy older than 30 and whos not a pristine model#I WANT MORE OLD SHLUBBY SHITHEAD TRANS GUYS IN MEDIA
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cullenski · 1 year
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Letting players worldbuild within your campaign setting is something that can result in beautiful things.
Last night we made it canon that the official dishes of a country were knife stew and knife bread.
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Wow another day another hitting the block button for a braindead take on addiction
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thediamondarcher · 9 months
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I'm so scared of telling my psychiatrist or my psychologist that i think i have OCD because what if they think I'm just faking it just like my brain tells me and i did way too much research and I'm just trying to get diagnosed something i don't have (i literally had a compulsion because i had obsessive thoughts about this and it gave me so much anxiety)
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mikesbasementbeets · 3 months
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coachbeards · 24 days
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got to thinking again about how they treated beard’s drug use like a joke/comedic point of his character and then revealed drug addiction ruined his life like ok
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neuroticboyfriend · 4 months
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addiction sure doesn't develop overnight but no one tells you it can develop rapidly. like. try 2 weeks. would it still be the early stages? yes, hell, the early stage starts even before compulsive use does. but it's still addiction and more people need to realize how fast you can start to fall.
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