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wen-kexing-apologist · 3 months

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Last Twilight: Ep 12

The TL;DR of this post is just... Sincerely what the fuck?

I remember posting after Episode 1 that I was keeping a suspicious eye on the mention of the eye donation because while I do think in real life disabled people have the right to manage their disability any way they want to and would support someone's choice to get a cornea transplant, real life is not fiction and fiction is designed to pull messages and themes from. Episode 12 from almost it's first moments completely undermines two and a half month's worth of messaging about learning to accept a new reality. I don't think it is foolish of me to assume based on the set up of the first episode that Last Twilight was supposed to be an exploration of grief as told in conversation and parallel between someone who lost a loved one and someone who lost their vision.

If this story had continued in the way it started out the first half of this show, I honestly think it could have been a 10, those first few episodes I was enjoying so much I was worried it might knock out Moonlight Chicken as my favorite Aof offering. Now I have rated Last Twilight as a 3, I will never suggest it to anyone and I will never rewatch it. Why?

Because from a fictional narrative perspective, having Day gain his vision back at the end undermines the entirety of the show's messaging from the first 11 episodes. Every single lesson, every single message just absolutely obliterated by every moment of Episode 12.

Day getting his vision back right as he and Mhok get back undermines the narrative in the following ways:

Rewarding Day for managing to create a successful and happy life as a blind person (literally like "hey you graduated and ran a bookstore while blind! Congrats you get to be normal again!)

"Rewarding" Mhok by insuring that he never has to do any caregiving for Day going forward so we don't get any navigating or expectation of Mhok and Day being in a longterm inter-abled relationship

We eliminate all chances that the subject of pitying Day re-enters any future fights, meaning there is now zero risk for Day maintaining a relationship with someone he worries might infantilize or pity him

It absolves Night of any remaining guilt he may be carrying from thinking he caused the accident that made Day blind

It absolves Day of any remaining anger at Night thinking he caused the accident that made Day blind

Mhon's ableist fucking ass gets her "normal" son back the way she confided in Mhok she'd hoped for after the first failed cornea transplant

It undermines the theme of the in universe Last Twilight novel and the conversation that Day and Mhok have about Mee being turned in to a statue on the top of the mountain and how that was hopeful because her father had found a sight so beautiful he couldn't think of anywhere else Mee would need to see and instead turns the message essentially in to: "there is hope, you can be cured"

It dismantles their cute couple thing of the one palm distance which also makes the OST that they played all the fucking time completely irrelevant

And most importantly, it undermines all the growth that Day went through while processing his grief and the two, TWO separate occasions where he came to terms with his disability

And that's just the disregard for the narrative messages, giving Day his eyesight back is incredibly ableist in the case of this story because of certain ableist through-lines woven in to the entire show. Namely:

While Day is blind, there is no reciprocity of care. Mhok is always taking care of Day, I cannot think of a single instance where Day really took care of Mhok in a significant way. By focusing so much on Day, and abandoning any strong focus on Mhok's grief over losing his sister, Day is never given an opportunity to be a support system for Mhok. Which is fucking ableist. Disabled people have so many things to offer the world, and while they might have specific support needs that does not mean that they can't offer support in return.

Mhok doesn't introduce Day to his family at their graves until after Day has his vision restored, and it is only then that Mhok says he has someone to take care of him. Able-ist!

Day gets his vision back almost immediately after a conversation with his mother where she says he wants to be normal and the fight he had with Mhok is normal.

Handling the entire story this way, with the break up, and a three year time gap, and then Day having his vision restored literally hours after he and Mhok get back together does not allow for any exploration of Mhok and Day having to figure out the differences between Mhok being his caretaker and Mhok being his partner.

We shunted literally every part of Mhok's backstory completely to the side, which in and of itself is fucking ableist in my opinion because it implies that able bodied people who are caretakers for or who are in a relationship with a disabled person don't have any time for themselves, to deal with their own shit or to have their own needs because they are too busy taking care of a disabled person.

With this being, what, the first main character in a BL with blindness, you want to go for the cure route after acceptance? Like you are rewarding someone for their bravery of handling their disability instead of allowing the disabled person to remain happy and thriving in the life they have built for themselves while they continue to be blind?

I'm not blind, so forgive me if I am overstepping at any point here but in my opinion, if you want a narrative that gives Day back his eyesight, that story that not be written by a sighted person. You need blind writers, people with the lived experience having control over the story so the narrative is better able to navigate the complexity of a decision like that, to reverse a character's blindness. I just think blind people would be able to minimize how much returning someone's eyesight might come off as ableist in a story like this. Additionally going the cure route is not a choice I think anyone should be making with the first BL that focuses this heavily on blindness. This world is so fucking ableist, if you want to make a story with a disabled main character with how slim of pickings there are, it feels much more responsible and subversive to go a disability pride route.

And these are just the issues around disability in this show, I have problems with the classism in this show, I have problems with the absolute ridiculousness of Mhok and Day's breakup and their reunion. MHOK APOLOGIZES, MHOK THANKS DAY FOR BREAKING UP WITH HIM, DAY DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR BREAKING UP WITH MHOK OR BLOCKING HIM ON SOCIALS FOR THREE YEARS BECAUSE MHOK PITIED DAY ONE (1) TIME. I get not wanting to be pitied, I get it, but seriously it is so much less compelling to have Day just completely abandon Mhok after all of the positive experiences they've had together because he messed up once rather than reel himself back in and have an adult conversation about what happened and try to get back to a balanced state.

Anyway, fuck this show. I am so disappointed that this is Aof's last directed piece for who knows how long. He could have gone out with a bang after Moonlight Chicken and now I am just fucking thankful I won't have to see anything else from him for awhile.

#last twilight #last twilight the series #let me reiterate that real life is different than fiction #disabled people have all the right in the world to handle their disability and any associated treatments however they want #this is fiction #and fiction reaches a wide audience and therefore has a responsibility in its messaging #last twilight meta #last twilight analysis

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goth-pod · 3 months

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Goth-Pod Ep 7: Metropolis vs Gotham

Welcome back to goth pod! Will Juda Boone see a city rivalry put to rest? Seems unlikely in a 4 minute episode! But join us anyway for the question: Metropolis or Gotham?

[goth-pod is a fictional, in-universe podcast based on the DC comics universe. Juda Boone is an original fictional character, not based on any real person or known comic book character.]

Transcript under the cut

Hello everyone and welcome back to Goth-Pod! Your Gotham based podcast. I am, of course, your favorite unconquered tri-state area and host, Juda Boone

I can't believe I'm about to say this, but this episode is sponsored by Wayne Enterprise. Wayne Enterprise is a multi-faceted company based out of Gotham. The rebranding of their tech line is scheduled for the first of the new month, so keep an eye out for that. They sent over an entire box of Wayne Tech recording equipment and I am more than stoked to try it out.

Whoever got our last joke episode on the desk of Bruce Wayne or Bruce Wayne's Team, I am simultaneously mortified and honored.

Now, onto today's episode.

Metropolis is Gotham’s sister city. Some say they can see the glittering skyscrapers from across the bay on a clear day- but I have never known a clear day in Gotham in my life, so I don't know where they got that.

But, if she’s our sister city, why the ever-so-loud rivalry?

Before we continue, I am noting that I will not be touching on the Superman / Batman debate. That would be a whole different episode.

We posted a poll on our socials with the simple question: Metropolis or Gotham? This poll resulted in 139 votes. 21% voted Metropolis. 79% voted Gotham

But I think that's to be expected from our audience. We're Gotham based. Before I'm a host, I'm a Gothamite. I've had 23 years to develop my bias for my home city, something I think our listeners can relate to.

And it comes down to that key word: Home. The pride and possessiveness that comes with a sense of belonging. I'm sure the results would've been different if we were Metropolis-based.

Really, I get it! I’ve heard just about every verbose rant about “How could anyone live in a city like Gotham?” And there are points I agree with! I understand the deep, deep flaws that my city is trying to find solutions for.

Just like I’m sure Metropolis is dealing with Lexcorp running more than half the city with Lex Luthor’s selfish, greedy charm. While you’re handling your gentrification, we’re celebrating the preservation of our historic district.

Or how Gotham U beat the Metropolis Bulldogs this past sports season! Maybe it’s all the sunshine getting in the players eyes? Good luck next year, everyone.

“Oh but I would be afraid to walk home at night!” Well that's the difference between us! You’re afraid to walk at night. We know how to punch a clown in the face by the time we’re 10!

[Clears throat]

What I meant to say was. Um...

People can feel.. Protective. When something feels like a kindred spirit. Gotham City is a place few people understand. But we, its citizens, it’s children are what makes it. We too stand tall and strange alongside our buildings. We too have our shadows and our secrets that we dare not share with the rest of the world.

Metropolis is a beautiful city. And so is Gotham. To me, Metropolis is beautiful like a sister. Shining with potential, smiling while leaving you behind. Gotham is beautiful like a mother. Old and scolding. Giving a type of tough love that takes time to understand.

I love my city. I hope my words, in this episode and others, can help others love it the same way.

Thank you for joining me. I’m Juda, you’re listening to Goth-Pod. Until next time, stay safe, Gotham.

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ashleywool · 5 months

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For the last few days, I’ve been getting really into How To Dance In Ohio and, my goodness, I adore the cast EP and have watched and re-watched every YouTube video about it I can! But, from what I could find, there isn’t a Wiki page or anything like that with information about the characters! If you can, I would love to know some fun facts (maybe pronouns, likes, dislikes, whatever else!) about the seven lovely autistic people we follow in the show!

I’m hoping to see it sometime next year! 💛

Hey there!

The Wikipedia page does exist, although it's still pretty sparse as the show is still in previews and there are rules about what the updates are allowed to be. Everything has to be substantiated by a published article on an established platform or a first-person interview.

Here's the character breakdown from the Equity Principal Audition, with some of my own notes added for context. I've included some of the nicknames we've come up with for the characters also, some of which are canon.

Johanna: 40s-50s, she/her, powerful mezzo-soprano. Caroline’s mother, perky and positive, keeps a watchful eye over her daughter, artsy mom vibes. (Note: it's pronounced "yo-HAH-na.") Also known as: Jo-Jo (pronounced "yo-yo;" not canon) Currently: played by Darlesia Cearcy, and understudied by Marina Pires. (Note also: Darlesia's name is pronounced Dar-LEE-see-ah.) Fun fact: Darlesia isn't much of a public social media user, but when I looked her up on Twitter, this is the first thing that popped up, from her time in Shuffle Along. If I were her, I wouldn't even bother with a headshot and resume anymore, I'd just hand casting directors a copy of that tweet. It pretty much says it all.

Terry: 40s-50s, she/her, powerful mezzo-soprano. Jessica’s mother, patient, loves leopard print, gives her daughter lots of space, cool mom vibes. Also known as: Ter-Bear. (not canon) Currently: played by Haven Burton, and understudied by Marina Pires. Fun fact: Haven plays my mom but she's only seven years older than me in real life. Marina P is four years younger than me. Best of all: when we were premiering in Syracuse, this role was also covered by an SU junior (Elana Babbit). She didn't get to go on, but if she had, I would've had a mother who was almost half my age!

Michael: 40s-50s, he/him, mid to high tenor. Marideth’s father, blue-collar, doing his best, is anxious in new social settings. Also plays: "Derrick," a pharmacy technician employee at Columbus Community College, who has a brief interaction with Caroline (and may or may not be a murderer). Currently: played by Nick Gaswirth, and understudied by Martín Solá.

Amy: 40s-50s, she/her, soprano. Drew’s mother, cultured, a housewife with a master’s degree, adept at managing her husband and son’s needs. Also plays: Shauna Parks, a super hawtt reporter from the Columbus Gazette. Currently: played by Melina Kalomas and understudied by Marina Pires.

Kurt: 40s-50s, he/him, mid to high baritone. Drew’s father, white-collar, conservative, a bit formal, has high expectations for Drew. Also plays: Hawkins, Mel's manager at Paws and Claws Pet Shop, who's kind of a douchebag, and Rick Jenkins, a blogger (not a reporter) who has no idea how to write about disability with any shred of respect. Currently: played by Carlos L. Encinias--who calls his collection of roles "The Villain Track" though I assure you is an exquisitely kind and funny anti-villain in real life--and understudied by Martín Solá.

Dr. Emilio Amigo: to play 50s, he/him, high baritone, Cuban-American. A clinical psychologist, founder and director of Amigo Family Counseling, great at his job, charismatic, full of empathy, recently divorced, at a crossroads. Currently: played by Caesar Samayoa, and understudied by Martín Solá and Carlos L. Encinias.

Ashley Amigo: to play 22, she/her, mezzo-soprano with a strong mix, of Cuban-American. Amigo’s daughter, a dancer recovering from an injury, is at a crossroads. Currently: played by Cristina Sastre, and understudied by Marina Pires and Marina Jansen.

Drew: 18, he/him, mid to high tenor, autistic. He needs structure, a bit formal, knows a lot about electricity and electrical grids, is looking for deeper connections in life, possibly romantic, on track to go to his dream college. Also known as: Drewby (by his mom; canon) Currently: played by Liam Pearce and understudied by Collin Hancock, Jean Christian Barry, and Hunter Hollingsworth.

Marideth: 18, she/her, alto with a strong mix, autistic. Raised by a single dad, loves to research facts, hates shoelaces, doesn’t like to be touched, is anxious in new social settings. Also known as: Wolf (not canon) Currently: played by Madison Kopec, and understudied by Marina Jansen and Ayanna Nicole Thomas. Fun fact: Marideth isn't the first canonically autistic character originated by Madison Kopec. I first heard of them back in 2019 when they were cast as Emma in a reading of a new musical called Indigo, which eventually had its world premiere last summer in (funnily enough) Ohio.

Caroline: 19, she/her, soprano with a strong mix, autistic. Perky and positive, goes to community college, is best friends with Jessica but is obsessed with her boyfriend. Also known as: Menace (not canon) Currently: played by Amelia Fei, and understudied by Ayanna Nicole Thomas and Marina Jansen.

Jessica: 20, she/her, full-voiced mezzo-soprano, autistic. Wants to live on her own, loves fantasy but is surprisingly practical, has a flair for drama. Also known as: Rachel Berry (obviously not canon as that's copyright infringement) Currently: played by Ashley Wool (yours truly) and understudied by Ayanna Nicole Thomas and Marina Jansen. Fun fact: Lol. 20. That's adorable. I'm absolutely not 20.

Mel: 24, she/he/they, earthy alto, autistic. The oldest member of the group, a seeker into self-help and mindfulness, a natural leader, works at a pet shop. Also known as: Head of Reptiles (technically canon, but we also just like to imagine Mel as a mythical creature with a reptilian head) Currently: played by Imani Russell and understudied by Marina Jansen and Ayanna Nicole Thomas. Fun fact: way back in 2021, when they were casting the first reading of the show, my agent at the time submitted me for Mel--the character was initially conceived as a cis woman on the breakdown--but I had already gotten a callback for Jessica from my self-submission, and I had a gut feeling that there was somebody better out there for Mel. I couldn't have been more right--after Imani was cast, it was largely thanks to their creativity, insight and influence that Mel evolved into the distinctive non-binary icon (non-bicon?) we know and love today.

Remy: 18+ to play 16, he/she/they, mid to high tenor, autistic. Into cosplay, makes a How-To costume and makeup tutorial videos online. Currently: played by Desmond Luis Edwards, and understudied by Jean Christian Barry, Ayanna Nicole Thomas, and Hunter Hollingsworth. Fun fact: Dez's involvement in HTDIO is the ultimate "Cinderella story." In 2021, Jacob Yandura was running a summer camp in Florida, and Dez was a student there; upon finding out Dez was autistic, Jacob said, "hey, I think you'd be a good fit for this musical I'm writing." The first time I heard Dez sing at the rehearsals for the reading, I was like, "you're SEVENTEEN?! I quit." How many actors out there go from their third high school musical DIRECTLY to Broadway? Another fun fact: Dez created all the cosplay designs we used onstage in the Syracuse production. Check out his art account here!

Tommy: 22, he/him, mid to high baritone, autistic. Funny, self-conscious, studying to get his driver’s license. Currently: played by Conor Tague, and understudied by Hunter Hollingsworth, Collin Hancock, and Jean Christian Barry. Fun fact: In real life, Conor does not drive and is staunchly anti-driving.

Ok, I gotta shower and head to the theater for work notes, but I'll happily add more later!

#how to dance in ohio #broadway #actually autistic #musical theatre #spectrum club 7 #musicals #character breakdown

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bizlybebo · 1 month

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For your final thoughts on PD once you finish, I present to thee:

This ramble ask

How ya feeling?

HOOOOOOOOOOOLY SHITTTTTTTTTTTT ENDYYYYY

ENDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IT. I WAS NOTTTT EXPECTING ANYYYY OF THISSSS AAAAAAAAAAJRGBTJKWEFREGTKWEFREGTKRFGNYT

YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE ASKING FOR BY SENDING IN THIS ASK. KJREHKJERHD

this is probably gonna be even longer than my ramble after completing the greyscale series so once again i dont expect you to read all of this but OHHH YM GODDD i need to dump my thoughts somewhere cause HOLY SHITTT

after writing this out i really only managed to touch on the last 2-3 episodes but yk. there are my thoughts on the ending so it makes sense. i dont think we wanna see how big my ramble on the entire fucking series could get

spoilers ahead for anyone else who sees this: literally all of prime defenders s1 and s2

ashe came home.

ashe fucking CAME HOME.

now, i had a feeling since about episode 35 that ashe was certainly coming home, because there was so much buildup, yakko did an ashe cosplay, etc. like it would have been stupid for her not to return at that point. plus i kept seeing people drawing a post-trickster ashe and was like huh.

so essentially, i thought that because i Knew, i wouldn't get blindsided by these final episodes. in fact, knowing almost made it more... bearable? i guess, because i could hold onto the light at the end of the tunnel that ashe was 100% coming home. it almost made me feel the same hope that the group was feeling about ashe, because i had that certainty and faith in the good ending.

and then william wisp fucking died. again.

i was really sleepy when i was listening to that scene but still persisting because my anxiety was slowly increasing as the episode went on, but when the trickster just. plunged his hands through william's chest i was FULLY awake just sitting in absolute shock. i'm not the kind of person to cry huge tears over media (i think the only time i non-happy cried watching riptide was ep 53), but when william died For Real i actually gave a good few sobs. i was no longer sleepy i was just in shock and then in grief.

and i was like. oh shit. maybe there is no good ending.

something like that ENTIRELY blindsided me in such a crazy way that it had me doubting ashe would even come home.

and i kept thinking, hey, no, he's risen before, he'll be okay! but then he went to the fucking spirit realm. he got dispensed there with kumori and began the first day of forever and i was like oh. shit.

william was gone.

and the REACTIONS from dakota and vyncent were both so guttural and real and true to their characters in their own ways. like so good it's nearly painful to think about.

dakota's loud. he's loud and he's rambunctious because he's dakota. he never speaks below a shout.

but when william was torn in half, he wasn't shouting, he was wailing. the absolute shock and denial he was in haunts me dude.

dakota's was begging william not to do this to him. he could forgive william for so much-- for lying to him, for not asking for his help, for fucking killing jade, but he could never forgive william for dying.

dakota's not the kind of kid to ask, y'know? if something doesn't go the way it should to him then he'll fight abrasively and outwardly for what he believes is right, or in the harder cases he'll bite the bullet and take the fall.

but here, he was pleading with william to just. not die.

and i think the final thing that shattered my faith that hey, maybe william wasn't gone was that tide was so accepting of it. he fell to his knees, he grieved and he was torn apart for a second, but then he was back up, holding dakota, going as far as to use a whole turn in initiative to only hug his boy despite the deadly circumstances. despite the world falling apart around them. to loosely quote my other mutual cayden (<333), "at the end of everything hold onto something and dakota had to hold onto tide because it was the end of everything for him" and i think that's just. the only way i can really phrase it. top 10 moments that rewired my brain chemistry

and dont get me started on dakota LITERALLY JUMPING THROUGH HELL FOR EVERYBODY. JUMPING THROUGH HELL, LOOKING THE TRICKSTER IN THE EYES AS HE DID SO. LIKE I'VE SAID THIS BEFORE BUT SOARING THROUGH THE BURNING SKIES OF THE CHAOS REALM? THE REALM THAT CORRUPTS AND WARPS EVEN THE STRONGEST DEMONS? AND STILL COMING OUT ON THE OTHER SIDE BECAUSE YOU'RE DAKOTA MOTHERFUCKING COLE AND YOU SIMPLY REFUSE TO SUCCUMB?? FUCKING INSANEEE.

and. fucking. fuck.

vyncent. MOTHERFUCKING. sol.

when i fucking catch condifiction.

vyncent sol is such an interesting fucking character. most of the time i'm like "there is something deeply wrong with him <3" in an endearing sense because yknow. he's a little strange. he's not from around here.

but oh my god.

vyncent sol, THE character development guy ever.

he starts off season 1 violent, unable to control his powers. he's violent, and he's scared, and he's homesick, and he's like a skittish dog who bites when it gets nervous because he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing here.

but he changes. he grows.

he gets his closure with fauna, yeah, but then he finds a new home. he finds himself in a flying car, chasing after the fucking lich, watching william and dakota fighting in the front seat like a married couple, and he just thinks yeah. this is home.

and he doesn't quite unlearn his violence or his vengeance but they do certainly shift gears (also tidbit-- the 'fatal flaw' of justice is vengeance which is part of why i chose him for that human soul in the undertale shit i was telling you about :D).

his character is about balance. he has to learn not to be reckless and violent like in season 1, while also not apathetic and taking inaction like he did in s2 episodes 31 and 32.

at the end of everything, he protects william with his life, ready to interpose any attack. he thinks that he can do right by somebody this time, act now so that there aren't any consequences later (y'know, like he never did with jade, or ashe, or the lich).

but william. still. dies.

the sheer anger that vyncent felt in that moment was overshadowed so strongly by his grief, but it was still there. i can't even put it into words without going on a whole nother tangent but oh my fucking god. dude. vyncent sol has irreparably rewired my brain he is all i'm gonna think about.

prime defenders honestly is just THE character development show in general. i haven't even touched on william's development, on how he put faith in his friends over mal even if he knew it was going to make things much harder because he trusted dakota and vyncent so much. on how he literally got killed, repeatedly, over and over, in the spirit realm for 12 hours straight. on how he dirtied his hands during the greyscale arc out of fear.

on how he finally. stopped. running. stopped trying to escape who he was. but still won't come out of the closet

and god this is a looooong fucking ramble and i haven't even said much yet, this is only me screaming about the last two episodes really, but so much has happened in them that i just AUUUUGUGHGGHGHJKTEHRKJ

and. holy fucking shit.

JADE??? MAY STILL BE ALIVE??? D OYOU UNDERSTAND HOW FUCKING FERAL IM GOING OVER THIS JADE CANTRIP VENGEANCE ARC. I NEEEEEED XAVIERRRR TO SEE HER AGAINNNN JADE AND XAVIER'S FRIENDSHIP MEANS SO FUCKING MUCHHH TO MEEEEE

AND ATLAS? BRO POOR FUCKING ATLAS. he really could not catch a fucking break for the ENTIRE series. when bizly started describing the 'odd fizzling' i was like 'man this guy is just going THROUGH it with his career i feel kinda bad for him' and then.

he was dead.

i think grizzly said it best, how bizly has to 'keep reminding us that prime defenders is r-rated' cause yk. the sudden violence/gore. it was so impactful you were so right when you were talking about tonal whiplash because holy SHIT.

like we were just in mario kart hell chasing after le frog who stole pizza he couldnt even eat cause he was vegetarian. and then atlas' throat was slit and he was marked with an x. (x as in xavier's vigilante persona????????RTEHRTTT$YRJHTTETR)

im just AUGUGHGHGH so FUCKING UNWELLLL OVER THIS ENTIRE SERIES. I'M SO STOKED FOR WONDERLUST BUT ALSO THAT MEANS PRIME DEFENDERS PROBABLY WON'T RETURN UNTIL THE END OF THE YEAR OR EVEN LATER.

i need a prime defenders christmas episode. dearly.

the bright side of this is that now i can write a shit ton of fic + inhale every single fic under the prime defenders tag on ao3.

but GODDD this is the most gutwrenching piece of media ever. i've never had such a strong hyperfixation since 2020 because the world is just so good. every single character and npc means the world to me. even summer and doug are constant subjects of my brainrot. even fucking lightspeed and harlem and aughughugnjtr.

thank you for the ask endy lmao im FUCKING CLAWING AT THE WALLS OVER THIS SHOW. AIUKGHEJHW

JADE CANTRIP REVENGE ARC PLSPSLPLSPLSPLSPLSPLS. I NEED HER TO COME BACK AND I NEED HER TO COME BACK WRONG AND I NEED XAVIER TO BE TERRIFIED OF HIS BEST FRIEND EVEN THOUGH IT'LL EMOTIONALLY DESTROY ME AKTJHETRKJTRWKERE

okay that's. all i can say for now

#vixen rambles #vixen answers #jrwi pd #jrwi #WEKJTHETWKJGREHTITWJKREJTYIQKJEFWRE8T90OPQEF9GRET0OE #LOSINGGG MY MINDDDD

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defeateddetectives · 10 days

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9 Fandom Peeps to Get to Know Better

thank youuu @coquelicoq for the tag! yes this is an entire month late because of who i am as a person :'D

3 ships you like: actually gonna give some real estate to the ones i have NOT been rotating nonstop on this space like a rotisserie chicken lately to mix things up!

1) hiyakawa/mikado (the night beyond the tricornered window) - a plug for my tiny, spooky, hilarious and obscure af manga series that blindsided me with its pathos (and because i want everyone to read it and then create some very niche fan-content for me specifically! :D wait who said that!) emotionally oblivious loser 4 emotionally oblivious loser!!! except they're emotionally oblivious in fun, complementary ways! their whole journey is absolutely bonkers and unexpectedly heartfelt, and yes, exorcism should be this hot always!

2) natsume/tanuma (natsume yuujinchou) - i know that no one will believe me when i say that this is still THE natsume yuujinchou ship to me at the end of the day! something something if i loved it less i might be able to talk about it more! but lonely kids finding one another and making each other's lives SO MUCH BETTER solely for existing in each other's orbit and being such a paragon of healthy, functional communication and trust and growing connection that still floors me to this day (and with such courage and eloquence that most adults still cannot manage...i say...sideeyeing two v specific adults)!!! theirs was the thread that pulled me into the series to begin with (i literally just watched all the tanuma eps on first pass) and i'm still so grateful for them and everything about them

3) jack rackham/anne bonny (black sails) - platonic/queerplatonic/romantic/whichever combo or other nebulous way you slice it! THE soulmates of all time that haunt me on the regular and really said to the audience: watch us take your expectations and definitions and parameters of love, joyfully smash it to smithereens, and create something so tremendously unrecognizable and beautiful. truly partners till they put us in the fucking ground!!!

first ship ever: the first fanfic i stumbled upon in my life featured taichi and yamato from digimon adventure. i still remember this because it was interspersed with an edit of yamato in a dress and posted on ye olde personal webpages and shown to me by a school friend, both of us looking like the :o face incarnate. we were Babies. it was a Time. i don't even think i knew what a ship was at the time but hashtag formative things!

last song you heard: it's been a grimes & janelle monae - venus fly kinda day

favourite childhood book: soft spot for whitechurch by chris lynch forever. i think i read it maybe in high school? it rewired my brain and is probably a huge part of why i am the way i am/write the way i do subconsciously.

currently reading: does vi bullying me into danmei count? in which case, global examination....at snail's pace. in this house we love and appreciate a good arson!

currently watching: recently started rewatching the original a:tla for the first time since it finished airing after trying and failing miserably with the live action :( only a few episodes in but augh its still so good and some things hit even harder with foreknowledge. there will never really be another character arc like zuko's ever again.

currently consuming: a smoothie! i've discovered i am a fan of almond butter when dunked in a blender with berries, yogurt and milk. 11/10 would recommend!

currently craving: earlier today i was daydreaming of bbq so let's go with that

super low pressure tagging @endless-season @half-infinite @argyros @fadedclxssic @caroline-hill @kastellaran @doubleboyfriend @constastan @spookirou and as always, everyone is welcome to steal

#memetime

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mag7dumbies · 9 days

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4 years ago I sent this to a complete stranger…. I have no idea why I sent it or why it is completely deranged but I sent it and 4 years later we are probably closer than two people 1,000 miles away could be

Kaz it’s been 4 years, 1,461 days, that have been the best days of my life, because you have been in them. You are my oracle, my rock, and the other half of my brain. I have no idea what I did to be so lucky to have met you.

In the first days of our friendship I think we wrote 4 peer reviewed papers just on Ezra Standish alone. I don’t think I ever told you this but I saved some (most) (for at least the first week) of our messages in a word doc because I liked rereading our convos. You are still just as verbose and detailed as you were back then and I consider myself so lucky to be able to read about your OCs and Aus whenever you get a hankering to share (which is fortunately often)

You have made me grow in so many ways, with your kindness and your snark. I strive to be as good a friend to you as you are to me. You’ve broaden my tastes to the moon (Fire and Ice and The Eagle are still burned into my brain) (Special mention to Rem Lezar and those eps of Rawhide because I can’t put those psychological horrors in this category but I wanted to mention it because they would have been good cause to lose my number... and yet)

Kaz this message could probably last at least 3,000 words, when it probably needs just three, I love you, I honestly believe it’s more than love, it is just a natural part of my heart, that you now inhabit. There is not a quality that you’ve shown me that I don’t love, from your strong convictions (that have rubbed off on me), your imagination that knows few bounds, and especially your patience. You are probably more important to me then you know and I hope I give as much as I get because you deserve it. Kaz you are the whole package plus about 6 other packages that I didn’t expect but happily unwrapped

I remember in 2022 when our friendship went from a casual, still very close but casual relationship, to what it is today. Our first watch party was the last two eps from Our Flag means Death season 1. What babies we were back then, there was little talking (due to how we watched but still) there was no screaming no brain melting a far cry from today. Our Saturday nights have always been sacred to me and I will/have bent over backwards to not miss them, they make getting through the week an easy task because I know I will be able to hang out with you for approximately 4-8 hours which sounds crazy and is crazy. Anyway now in 2024 I literally can’t imagine a day we aren’t in contact (I still get soft when I remember that week where I barely had the energy to open your messages and yet you were here on Tumblr being a bright spot which i definitely needed) And I get to have that everyday even if it’s just a check in or a in-depth psychology analysis on Jess Harper I get to have the pleasure of talking to you which is priceless.

One more thing Kaz when I met you I didn’t have close friends I had a couple but they felt very hollow and it was hard to communicate with them sometimes, due to my Visions TM (it’s probably the autism but I’ll blame Visions and not how my brain functions) my real world friends did not share my interest in Gay cowboys or weird shows from the 70s so I felt very alone for a long time but then I threatened a random Incorrect quotes blog and I found someone I could make a home out of a multitude of fandoms with. You will have no idea what an impact you’ve made on me. And I hope we have at least 80,000 more anniversaries that we can share

I could go on, I should go on because I definitely don’t think I talked enough about how perfect you are and literally you are perfection but this has to come to an end for one our sakes lol. Kaz you really are the breath under my wings and I want to make sure you never forget just how much I cherish you

I am so excited to see you in person in 144 days!!!

@incorrect-gunslingers

#I’ll see you Saturday my love #does 8 paragraphs mean I win?#I was listening to your playlist while I wrote this becasue i wanted the right amount of feels to write this #sorry for not mentioning our sons I was going to I swear #I wrote a rough draft at work and like none of it made it in lol #4 year anniversary #AND YES I SCHEDULED THIS ON THE EXACT MINUTE I SENT THE MESSAGE BECAUSE IM A SAP #im so excited to watch trapeze with you (i know i keep saying this but its true)#okay so I was gonna post this at 105 BUT ITS 105 your time and 1205 my time #I think

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missing-a-place-ive-never-been · 10 months

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so i just finished campaign 2

in 6 months pretty much to the fucking day. and what a half a year it was. i don't know how to write down how much i love these characters, just... watching them evolve from the very beginning of the journey was just so special. i started campaign 1 in the briarwood arc (and i honestly should probably rewatch that just bc i was so confused about what was happening still at that point) and i loved seeing these characters from their first meeting as a group and how their experiences and relationships formed them into the people they were a year(-ish??) later.

Although c3 is the one that got me hooked and will always be special bc of that, and c1 felt more of a idk how to say it a story because of the separation and a more clear path (going from the briarwoods to the dragons to vecna just felt more natural to me instead of what mostly felt like side quests next to the war storyline and the lucien storyline), i feel the most connection as a group with m9. their individual development but also their group dynamic in which each of them felt like an integral part to the story and all were important to each other and had special moments together... idk something so very compelling and i will be thinking about them for a long fucking time.

As for the numbers, this means that on average i spend over two and a half hours a day for the past half a year watching critical role and i honestly cannot say i regret it. i don't know if i will ever play d&d myself as i think cr has set such a high bar of expectations and i don't really know the right people for it (at this moment) but i have grown to see the value in role playing games. though the stories might be fantasy, the emotions these people bring to the table each week is are just raw and real and have made me work through some of my own issues, i can't even imagine the impact on their own lives throughout all of it.

in the end, i would have loved to see more of essek and caleb interacting. liam and matt's interactions in the final part of 141 broke me and made me yearn for more. i haven't seen the wrap up of the reunion eps yet but at least for the reunion i don't think we see essek until the last few moments, which is bittersweet; while we don't see it directly play out, we get a good glimpse into their combined futures and i think that open ending does leave for a lot of own interpretation (and def a lot of great fan art!). overall, the characters i enjoyed most were caleb (i adore liam and his faithful representation of a bisexual disaster) and jester (do i need to explain? wonderfully chaotic and the kind of enjoyment of just life and its beauty i admire and aspire to), but even the characters i had less of a personal connection with (for me ford) i really loved for their interactions and relationships with the others.

i laughed and cried so much while experiencing this campaign, and i am just feeling full with love for the cast and crew and their incredible work and play. this is just a rambling of my thoughts at the moment and kind of a time capsule for myself, but if you are a critter and read all of it, thank you to you as well <3 the community (i mostly only interact with the one on tumblr) makes the experience def more valuable and i'm happy we're on the same journeys together!

#critical role #campaign 2 #cr2 #the mighty nein #just an account of my viewing as well as my thoughts having just finished it earlier today #thank you cr tumblr community!!

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annakie · 2 years

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A List of Shows I’ve Watched So Far This Year

...and a couple of sentences about each one. Also some movies and podcasts, too.

I started keeping a list around the time the entertainment outlets started publishing their “Best of 2021″ lists near the end of the year so I would be sure to catch some good TV since I wasn’t sure what to watch half the time. So this list is partially from those lists, partially stuff I found in other ways like via tumblr gifsets on my dash, some things I stumbled upon, had already been watching, and some just because I was subscribed to whatever service a show was on and thought “Hm that looks interesting.”

Tried keeping track of movies and podcasts, too. Gonna do video games in a different post. Currently I have 34 shows on my “To Watch / Catch up on” list, and always adding more.

This is in no particular order at all.

Taskmaster (& rewatched a lot of it.) - OK I immediately lied. I moved this to the top because I honestly believe everyone should watch Taskmaster. It is the most joyful thing I’ve ever watched, I love it so, so much. Everyone I have convinced to watch the show has loved it. It curbs anxiety, it always always always makes me laugh, and there’s a lot of it to watch.

Taskmaster is a British... panel/game show, sort of, where five comedians/entertainers are at the whims of the Taskmaster (Greg Davis) and his assistant (Alex Horne, who is the true genius behind the show) and do ABSOLUTELY ABSURD tasks to earn his approval. The same cast stays for an entire season (early on 5 or 6 episodes, then 8, now 10.) Greg scores their efforts, and at the end of the season, the winner takes home... a bust of Greg’s head. Mostly bragging rights and a spot on the Champion of Champions special that happens after every 5th season.

I cannot express how much I love Taskmaster. You can just watch most of it for free on Youtube. Series 1 Episode 1 is a fine place to start, or maybe try season 4 for people you likely already know. Anyway, that’s the sales pitch. Everything else is just my opinions. Watch Taskmaster, unless you hate fun and don’t need a distraction right now?

I started watching it near the end of last year, and then synced up with @ahab99 and we watched the rest of it together. It’s been one of my favorite things to do this year, and the fandom is great. My favorite seasons are 4, 5, 7, 9, 12 and 13, but I love them ALL.

Kongen Befaler (Taskmaster Norway) S1 & 2 - I love Taskmaster so much I started watching the Norwegien version, which is slow going because I have to be in the right mind to watch something with subtitles, but the Norwegian version is very nearly as good as the original. Highly recommend it if you’ve finished with the original. I haven’t yet gotten to the New Zealand version yet because I’m waiting for ahab99 to be ready, but I know it’s also considered to be great.

The Great S1 & 2 - Speaking of great... watched this as it was on Alan Sepinwall’s best of 2021, and I trust him about quality of things most of the time. Enjoyed The Great a lot, not one of my favorite things of the year, but thought the leads were very good and also Sacha Dhawan was a nice surprise. It’s got a lot more grossout humor than you were probably expecting. But I’ll watch S3.

Halt and Catch Fire S1-4 - I’d watched S1 and the first half of S2 when it was airing, then fell behind, and my DVR broke, and I never caught back up. But Sepinwall had mentioned it somewhere in a review I read recently and put it back on the list. It’s a show that got stronger every season. S1 was really trying way too hard to be Mad Men But In the 80′s And About Tech, once they figured out the characters in S2, toned down Lee Pace’s character and made the “mousey wife” not so mousey, it got amazing. Loved it so much.

Station Eleven - The first few eps aired last year, and I watched it in real time, but the last three aired this year. This is one of the best things I watched not only this year but... ever. A story of love and hope after a world-ending pandemic. You would think “I don’t need a pandemic story right now” but yeah, you need this story. One of the most satisfying moments I’ve experienced in fiction near the end of the series, too. So good. Highly rec. This also means Mackenzie Davis was one of the leads of... the last two things I talked about and she deserves all the awards.

Hacks S1 & 2 - I love Jean Smart and had been meaning to get around to this one for awhile, so I got to it like a few weeks before S2 aired. Really funny and powerful story of two women in different generations who were there when they needed it the most. A definite rec.

Starstruck S1 & 2 - I watched this not only because Sepinwall recommended it, but because it was created by & stars Rose Matafeo, who is on series 9 of Taskmaster and who I adore because of it. Really funny, great story, a little frustrating, but well worth it.

Our Flag Means Death (3 times) - Thanks to tumblr for all the gifsets, and finding out Guz Khan (who is in S12 of Taskmaster) is in this show, I gave in and watched it. I didn’t watch it the first time til the week after it ended, but then I signed up for HBO Max to support the show and watched it three times in one month. Loved it. Can’t wait for S2.

Severance - Came for Adam Scott, stayed for holy shit what is going on here why do I have to wait week to week for more? I NEED ANSWERS NOW. Creepy, bleak, and very, very intriguing. Am on the edge of my seat for season 2. Another one of the best things I’ve seen this year/in awhile.

The Expanse (Some in 2021, some in 2022) - One of those shows I’d been meaning to get into for a long time and I knew if I could stick with it eventually I’d love it. I had tried the first episode a couple of times over the last few years and didn’t like it but... I was determined this time and stuck with it. I have LOVED Shohreh Aghdashloo for a long time and she got me to stick around. I honestly didn’t love the show until season 2 or so, but at some point I was all in, and was sad when I finished, though a couple of the seasons were weaker than others for sure, and learning the circumstances behind the removal of one of the main characters, who was another of my favorites, put a small damper on it. But I’m glad I finished it. Someone make a S7. :(

Upload S2 - Watched S1 and thought it was decent, S2 was... definitely affected by the Pandemic filming. It was OK, but not great. The season finale especially seemed cut off too soon. But I’ll keep watching.

Doctor Who Specials (New Year’s special and The Sea Devils) - New Years special was great, other one was okay. It’s nice that they’re addressing 13/Yaz. Even though, ya know, it’s almost regeneration time. There’s a lot about the 13 era I have liked, but also a lot of wasted potential. And I’m not a fan of the Timeless Child thing... have seen few who are, though.

I also rewatched the Husbands of River Song because the Taskmaster himself, Greg Davis, plays King Hydroflax in this episode.

Critical Role S3 + Calamity - Been keeping up with Critical Role still, though sometimes I fall behind a week or two. I have been enjoying S3 a lot, probably more than I enjoyed the first arc of S2. Having Ashley back full time is great, and I like the new characters. Been staying far, far away from the fandom and the drama, though.

Calamity was amazing. I know I posted a thing about maybe not watching but I did because of how everyone was talking about it, and it was everything people said it was. I cried through most of the finale. Thanks to @thequeenofmyownscreen for crying with me. :)

I have very much wanted to get into Dimension 20 since before Calamity and really want to now, but have yet to find the time.

Breaking Bad Rewatch (Just season 2.5 to the end) - After watching the first half of S6 of Better Call Saul, and hearing the second half is going to have more relevance to Breaking Bad, I went back and re-watched BB from the first Saul episode to the end, since I hadn’t seen it since it aired. For like the S2 and some of the S3 part I was fast forwarding through a lot of like, Hank & Marie scenes or parts that were a lot of people staring at each other, but after awhile I just settled in and re-enjoyed the ride. Worth it.

Better Call Saul S6 - As noted above, have been keeping up with BCS the whole time. Love it. Can’t wait to see how it ends. DON’T KILL KIM WEXLER, PLEASE SHOW.

(BBC) Ghosts S1 - 3 - Three of the main characters have been contestants on Taskmaster (Charlotte Richie - S11, Lolly Adofope - S4 and Katy Wix - S9) plus at least two guest stars (Jessica Knappet - S7, Bridget Christie - S13.) So after learning this plus seeing some gifsets on my tumblr dash and seeing it was on HBO Max, I watched. Really enjoyed it, highly recommend.

(CBS) Ghosts - While looking up info for BBC Ghosts, I saw CBS had brought the show to America. I thought “Well, let’s see how bad they fucked this up” and dove in, intending to watch just the first episode or three. I finished the (currently only, S2 is incoming) season in like a day and a half. They did a good job making both the living married couple and the ghosts American, retaining some flavor of the BBC version without it being a direct ripoff aside from the pilot and one ghost being a near carbon copy of the British counterpart. I think they did a good job making it their own. The Brit version is probably still better, but I don’t regret watching both and will watch the next seasons of both, too.

(New) Kids in the Hall - I was in High School when the Kids in the Hall was originally airing on Comedy Central here in the US, and things like “I’m Crushing Your Head” were as cool as Wayne’s World quotes. Wasn’t sure what to expect about the revival but I really loved it, a lot. Be warned if you watch it there is old man full frontal in uh, the first episode, lol. But seriously, it was great. And I’m flabbergasted and mad that it wasn’t nominated for an Emmy.

Only Murders in the Building S2 - I think S1 aired last year? Watching S2 now. What a delight this show is. As an Old, I grew up loving Steve Martin and Martin Short and they’re amazing here. I had no idea who Selena Gomez is before this show, and now I adore her. Enjoying S2 a lot.

For All Mankind S3 - I think I watched S1 & S2 at the end of last year, and except for that mindbogglingly terrible subplot at the end of the 2nd season, I really loved it. S3 has been likewise great so far. Even though the stupid subplot continues into S3. I’m a Margot and a Dani stan.

Mare of Easttown - When this was airing last year it felt like everyone was talking about it and how great it was, so I got around to watching it. It was, indeed, very good, with a resolution that was surprising but didn’t feel like came out of nowhere. Also more Jean Smart = good.

The White Lotus - I mean, I have HBO Max right now and this is another show people kept talking about when it was airing, so I watched it. Eehhh, it was okay. It was a good takedown of white people at their most white-people-ness. Don’t think it deserves the Emmy love it’s getting except for the guy who played the hotel manager.

The Umbrella Academy S3 - I keep up with TUA when it’s on, and enjoy it. Enjoyed S3 as well. Not as much as S2 but hey, enough to look forward to S4. Mostly glad this season Luther got over Allison, but Allison this season was uh... not great.

Stranger Things S4 - Just like most everyone else, watched ST4 and I did love it, though the criticisms of it is pretty valid, too. NGL, got pretty bored with the Eleven subplot in the first half and fast forwarded through it as I thought it was very obvious Henry = Vecna and it felt like otherwise we were rehashing a lot of other stuff. And the Russian Prison subplot could have been cut way down, too. But still, love Stranger Things. Can’t wait for S5.

Murderville - Will Arnett’s improv / cop comedy. Swung WILDLY in quality depending on who the guest of the week was. They were right to put Conan first and Kumail Nanjiani last so it started and ended on its strongest episodes. I adore Annie Murphy but it was uncomfortable watching her stumble through her episode. But I finished it and would watch a S2.

Resident Alien S2 - I think S1 was stronger so far, but still loving this show, and Alan Tudyk is great, so is his co-lead Sara Tomko. Could do with less Mayor and Mayor’s Wife who’s character’s names I can never ever remember, and more of everyone else.

Barry S2 & 3 - I watched S1 as it aired and never got around to picking up S2 or 3 until a few weeks ago. It’s very good, and very violent. Can’t believe they’re still gonna do a S4 after that S3 ending.

The Flight Attendant S1(ish) - I watched the first episode and thought... I am not into this enough to watch the rest of the season but I do want to know how it ends. So I skipped right over to the last two episodes. Maybe I’ll do the same with S2.

Gentleman Jack - Was interested in this from tumblr gifsets. Literally watched the first episode and a couple of hours later the cancellation was announced, lol. Overall, I enjoyed it but I hope Suranne Jones’ back is OK because she carried this show for all sixteen episodes. Anything focused on Anne Lister was great. But they could not write a subplot of side characters to SAVE A LIFE. The cast was great, (I mean they had Five himself Peter Davison!) with what they were given. But so many subplots either were messy, boring or went nowhere and were dropped without resolution. Still glad I watched it but... it feels like only Lister/Walker ever found its footing and everything else was... not there. I’d have kept watching, but not super upset it’s likely not going to happen.

Star Wars

Book of Boba Fett - I think I liked this series more than most when it was focusing on Boba Fett but also like... the criticism was fair. And yeah it felt more like a sub-show of The Mandalorian rather than its own thing in the end. It was quite cool seeing the whole gang, minus Cobb, fighting together in the finale. And also uh, this may be blasphemous, but I am slightly disappointed they brought Grogu back? I think they are victims to their own success if they don’t think the show can survive without Grogu, whereas I was kinda looking forward to Mando on his own. But I’ll enjoy Mando S3 either way, I think.

Even this review of BoBF became a review of The Mandalorian. *facepalm*

Obi-Wan Kenobi - Yeah it was messy blah blah but I really really loved Obi-Wan. We’d been waiting for Obi’s return forever and I think they did a great job making the show emotionally resonate. It was so great seeing Hayden back, too. And it also adds a little more emotional weight to ANH how too, with Obi-Wan having a relationship with Leia.

Star Trek

I watched all the Star Treks. Yesterday was the first NON-STAR TREK Thursday of this ENTIRE YEAR and I AM MAD ABOUT IT. Luckily Lower Decks S3 starts next month.

Prodigy S1.0 - There’s still more Prodigy S1 coming, but I am enjoying this show more than I thought I would, grading on the “It’s for children!” curve. NGL I am most invested in the Real Janeway & Chakotay stuff but the kids and Holo-Janeway are also great. Excited for more. And the Kobiyashi Maru episode was a fave, as well as the 1.0 finale.

(Rewatch) Picard S1 & then Picard S2 - I forgot most of what had happened in S1 so I rewatched it. I like it more than most people did, but I mean... there’s like no Star Trek I don’t like. S2 started strong, and I liked the ending, and a lot of what they did in the middle stumbled with some great moments and a few not so great. There were definite parts of S2 that... didn’t work. But it was also fun. Plus my Teenage Dream Crush (lol) showed up, which was a huge plus for me. And uhm... I am absolutely feral about what’s going to happen in S3.

Discovery S4 - I think Discovery had gotten stronger every season, and I again, have enjoyed every season. I do definitely agree I wish every season wasn’t universe-ending threats, and the bridge crew doesn’t get enough to do, but I mean... that doesn’t at all ruin my enjoyment of the show. I thought the universe-ending threat was at least new and original this year.

Strange New Worlds S1 - Ummm... yeah. It’s great. I’m mad about how great it is. It’s not my favorite of the New Treks (Lower Decks is probably my fave) but I do get why so many people say this is their favorite. REMEMBER THOUGH... we wouldn’t have this Pike, Spock and Una without Discovery S2.

MST3K

Mystery Science Theater 3000 S13 + Specials - I Kickstarted MST3k season 13 for uhhhh... more than I probably should have. I am really loving Season 13 so far. Jonah is great as always, I already adore Emily and her bots, and having Joel back in the riffing seat with J. Elvis by his side mashed the nostalgia button so hard. All the episodes have been hilarious, though some are more faves than others, but that’s normal. Really enjoying the “special events” too. Having something to do like, every other Friday by appointment has been nice, too. The chat is very friendly and actually funny. Ready to support them for as much as I can when S14 talk comes around.

The Mads Are Back - MST3k-related, Frank Coniff and Trace Belaiu have been doing monthly riffing livestreams since July 2020 and I’ve been to them all. So another monthly Tuesday night appointment. They also do a guest interview after each, which has been delightful. Was a big help early in the Pandemic to have another monthly “appointment” to look forward to, and I’m glad they’re keep on keeping on with the livestreams especially since Frank’s health problems. And I love that nearly all the old cast plus some of the new MST3k cast has come and hung out in the post-show with them. <3

Along with that, just rando, MST3K and Rifftrax episodes whenever I feel like it, often as white noise when I’m gaming or working.

Trashy Realtiy TV - I make no apologies. I don’t watch a lot of reality TV but I have watched these.

The Circle S4 - I just lilke the Circle, OK? Love is Blind S2 - It’s a dose of drama that I usually avoid. 70% of Love is Blind Japan S1 - Wanted to see the differences. I watched the pods and vacation part, skipped most of the “We’re back at our real lives!” episodes and just went and saw who made it to the altar and who said I do.

JUST STARTED:

The Other Two - Haven’t finished yet, but just wrapped up S1. A Sepinwall rec I wouldn’t have checked out otherwise. The Entertainment Industry Takedown stuff is kinda funny but nothing we haven’t seen before. What has made this show work so far is that yeah the mom + adult kids are very dysfunctional on their own but they love each other and their little brother a lot and that glue makes the show worth it for me.

Blood and Treasure S2 - I would not watch this show most likely but Mark Gagliardi is one of the main stars (probably #3 on the call sheet I’d guess) and when a guy you kinda know is on TV, you usually wanna watch that guy being on TV. It’s a fun cheesy National Treasure like romp. This season was filmed in 2020 and JUST NOW BEING RELEASED and only on Paramount+ so we’re probably not gonna get more. The first two episodes released just this week so, we’ll see how the rest of the season goes. Mark’s character has his own subplot this season though so I’m excited for that.

Movies

TBH I don’t watch a lot of movies? There’s too many shows to watch. But I have watched these in the last 6 months...

Everything Everywhere All At Once - Everyone was talking about it so I wanted to experience it. As amazing as everyone said. I still think about it often. And get Absolutely Story of a Girl stuck in my head.

The Batman - Not a huge Batman fan, (like it’s FINE but whatever) but wanted to see Pattison’s take on it. Thought the movie was a little too long, and I came away with no strong feelings other than Pattison and Dano were both very good, and was excited to see Izzy Hands and Irving from Severance in the movie :v

Star Trek The Motion Picture - I’ve seen this like a half dozen times, and am always amazed at how many reaction shots of the cast’s face they padded the film with. Wanted to see the new enhanced visuals and cut. At least what they were gazing at for 15 minutes of the film’s runtime looked great. I need to finish rewatching the rest of the TOS movies. I’ve been saying that since I finished my All-ST Rewatch in 2020. SO I guess I didn’t actually FINISH that rewatch. Hm.

The Lost City - I truly don’t know why I watched this movie but I had finished whatever show I had been watching and didn’t want to start a new one yet so I watched this for no reason. Cast was good, movie was cheesy but also fun in a Romancing the Stone sort of way. Not great, but fun. Daniel Radcliffe makes a great villain.

Suicide Squad - I’m... trying... to watch the DC movies. I’ve only seen the two Wonder Woman movies, Batman vs.Superman and that first Superman movie, all when they came out. I’ve heard the second one and the Peacemaker show are great though so I’m trying to shove my way through the rest to that. Do I have to watch the Snyder cut? Anyway, this was fine, but felt like it was trying way too hard to be cool. Was entertaining at least.

Podcasts

I haven’t been listening to a lot of podcasts lately, tbh. Mostly I listen in the last hour before bed when I’m playing on my Switch and hanging out with Patchy.

The Taskmaster Podcast and Taskmaster: The People's Podcast - Yep been listening to the companion podcasts to Taskmater, too. The original TM podcast is hosted by Series 9 contestant Ed Gamble and it’s fantastic because he’s SUCH a fan of the show, and he’s a great interviewer. It’s a recap podcast, of the current episode if a series is airing or past series when one’s not.

The People’s Podcast is hosted by S8 contestant Lou Saunders + a guy who’s a fan (and a writer) who keeps meticulous stats of the show. Though there’s a bit of episode discussion it’s mostly a celebration of the fandom. Episodes are a bit more hit or miss depending on who the fan-guest is, but it’s a good effort and usually still entertaining. Especially loved them interviewing Norwegian Taskmaster Assistant Olli Wermskog <3

Hello From the Magic Tavern S4 + Patreon Bonus Content - I’ve been a fan of HFTMT since about episode 24 (When Craig Cackowski guest starred.) Through the years sometimes I’ve kept up, sometimes I’ve fallen months behind, but I have listened to it all, including the spinoff podcasts and signed up for the pateron on day 1. Still love these guys after all these years. If you want to listen to three guys and guests worldbuild a silly magical world, here you go. There’s like 400 episodes including spinoffs and Patreon content, you won’t run out any time soon.

The Delta Flyers - Technically as I’m a Pateron patron I watch the episodes online, not listen to them as a podcast. This is Robert Duncan McNeil (Tom Paris) and Garrett Wang (Harry Kim’s) Voyager rewatch podcast, that they started as a pandemic project, and they’re now in season five. I really enjoy their takes, even when I don’t agree with them, and there’s so much BTS content. Also the bonus content includes really great interviews with the rest of the cast pretty often, guest stars, directors, writers, crew, producers etc etc. I pledge at a mid-teir level now and don’t regret it at all. I usually watch while working, and sometimes I get a few episodes behind. And also sometimes I have to rewatch the Voyager episode before listening to the podcast episode. But very worth it. Going to miss this one when they’re done.

The “To Watch / Catch up On” list: Counterpart You're the Worst Miracle Workers Zoey's Extradordinary Playlist Pen15 Derry Girls In Treatment We Are Lady Parts Girls 5eva Squid Game Succession Reservation Dogs Evil I May Destroy You Love Life Shadow and Bone Yellowjackets New Girl Wheel of Time Lovecraft Country Atlanta Watchmen Tuca and Bertie Sharp Objects Devs Yellowstone Gaslit Abbot Elementary Shining Girls The Orville

Catchup: Cobra Kai Downton Abbey (last season or two + movies) Rutherford Falls S2

I am taking suggestions.

And then there are a bunch of upcoming shows or shows with seasons that aired in like 2021 that I haven’t mentioned here to watch like, the Lord of the Rings show, and S2 of Leverage: Redemption not currently on this list that I will watch as they come out.

No idea how someone with an actual life squeezes in more show time. I’m still like 90% in quarantine still (thx immune system) so... at least I’ve got the time.

#television #movies #podcasts #i am not tagging shows individually that's way too much work #If you are looking for a media rec list here you go #media #personal post tag thingy

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kinetic-elaboration · 2 years

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July 12: Orphan Black 5x10

And so I have finished Orphan Black. The final episode was about what I expected: it finished up the cliffhanger, killed off the last of the bad guys, and established what everyone was up to afterwards, ending on a generally happy ending.

By this time, and not only because I took a few weeks’ break between ep 9 and this one, I don’t really care about any of the antagonists anymore. Also, while I knew they’d spend a while on Helena giving birth (she’s only been pregnant for 3 seasons lol), I wasn’t really so into watching that, so I was happy when all that was done. (I did like that Art was there with her and Sarah though.)

Stuff I liked from the ‘epilogue’ portion:

That everything wasn’t automatically perfect, and we do see Sarah struggling both with S’s death and with establishing a ‘normal’ life for herself and her daughter for, really, the first time.

Helena living in the Hendrix’s...garage I guess?? and that awesome yard space with lights that was between the two houses.

I knew she named her kids Arthur and Donnie and I don’t usually like that naming-after-another-character thing but in this case I kinda did? Mostly because of the line “it’s time you take the names of real men.” Also, Arthur and Donnie earned it.

That all of the characters got their little mentions or appearances at the baby showers, including people like Colin, Adele, Charlotte, etc. (Is Charlotte Art’s now???)

That the clones had a little talk about motherhood and their anxieties about it because even though that doesn’t speak to me personally, fertility and parenthood has been such a big part of the show, it was fitting.

The outfits, especially Cosima’s dress.

Alison and Donnie’s final scene. Where are they the best couple??

Stuff I didn’t like so much:

I’m never really a fan of ‘the whole show/book/movie was actually written by one of the characters’ trope. It was wild when I read The Outsiders in the 6th grade. I’m past it now.

Cosima and Delphine still together. I know! I know! Obviously they were going to be but ughhhh.

NO CAL. Technically he and Sarah didn’t really break up so where is he??? My two other Valid Couples were in the finale (Felix/Colin and Donnie/Alison) and it was so close to a three-for-three.

I get why Rachel’s story ended the way it did and it probably would have stretched credulity even more than some of the Supremely Happy Ending stuff did to have her join Clone Club at literally the eleventh-and-a-half hour, but I’m still bummed out that she just... disappeared into the ether at the point where I feel like she could at least START to bond with her sisters. There are so many kids in this family. She wants to be a mom. She’s finally earned her redemption and her place in the family. Maybe if she, like, just stopped in or something? I was never a Rachel fan but I still kind of wanted that for her.

Overall, though, everything was tied up very well. Perhaps too well? But at the same time, I respect it for not going grmdark and tragic at the end. It really said: these characters earned 15 minutes of a cute little garden party together, and you know what? They did.

#the year 2022 #2022: fandom thoughts #2022: orphan black

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imy2 · 4 months

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notes longtext

2-2 oooo hi hector , didnt realize he'd be so soon •

oh damn goodbye mack. should've expected that was this ep w vasquez comin in... ughh the way murphy looks when addy's staring at him :/// •

2-3 "woahh don't be so negative; worry is poison - that's why you don't crap right." lmao random dude, too real •

"you are not the boss of me -.- she is." one of my fav murphy lines •

ok i regret not taking notes last eps so recap of what i rmbr then onward.. rc2-4 z weed lol • rc2-5 nvr noticed b4 that they call this ep aka lucy zombaby - makes sensee , but s1 zombaby is true zombaby in my heart. lucy's lucy :p ... ugh serena was so pretty this ep.. even looked cool as a zombie • rc2-6 gb4n lucy.. also cassandra :(( </3 • rc2-7 sketchy n skeezy were here again .. • rc2-8 i thiiink it was this ep that this happened but if not close enuff.. warren said to murphy, "the time is coming where you're gonna have to decide what side you're on - and when that time comes, remember which is trying to help u survive n which wants to eat ur brains." ooo i never noticed how good of a line that is bc well warren which side is which! half the zombies dont care abt murphy atp and yall r takin him to be experimented on .. hmmm • rc2-9 this is always a fun ep • rc2-10 idt docs cool aop in this ep... • rc2-11 addys hotelwoman moment :') • rc2-12 oo the zeroes.. warrens sooo pretty •

2-13 murphy savin warren, hell yeah. murphy listening to warren, helll yeahh. again warrens gorg.. hector n doc n murphy all also look cool .. el camino B) 10k w slingshot - also cool •

2-14 lmfao doc pre-z(beginning of z actually) "oh jeez, sorry, didn't mean to intrude! -- what a minute, what did i just see.. larry and his gay lover? it's funny he never mentioned him.. 2 patients wrestling on the couch? .. it's a damn zombie! hang on larry!" lol him pullin a joint from his beard .. • •interlude ... i used to say i wish i had a beard all the time as a kid 9-like12, love that for me..idt id want one now, i do wish i had more body hair tho man my arms n legs look hairless basically -.- my brother used to always comb his hand thru his thick ass leg -.- #jealous .. also hairy stomachs r so hot -.- anyways.. i also need to do smth diff w my headhair like sooo bad. its been like 6yrs since ive had a haircut its badd. i wish i cld do a cool haircut but my hairs thin n straight so.. no cool cuts look how i'd want them to w/o stylin n i cannot put stylin effort into my hair everyday.. i need a genius to tell me wtd w my hair basically! but im scared of goin anywhere..

also on subject of gender(re my feelings abt my hair) i've been kind of (aka when i rmbr to lol n when it dsnt feel awk) tryin to speak in a deeper pitch .. i hate when my voice sounds as high as it does smtimes :/ also.. well nvm 4now •

"why me? i don't want to be shit. this is all some terrible mistake. i just want to crawl off and die like everybody else. why me? what did i do? where is my mercy?" murphy n mercy (n me) i said it! •

omg pre-z murphy looks so different n cool. & postal fraud man.. he shld be pissed •

"if you were really my friend, you'd help me." "but i'm not your friend." ... "they're gonna hurt me. you know that, right?" "i won't let that happen." •

2-15 "i did not spend three years fighting my way across 10,000miles of zombie-crazed america just so i can be a blood bag for a few billionaires." hell yeah •

bye vasquez .. hey hector.. hey(almost) kaya n dr. sun :-) aww lucy.. •

•s2 done.. overall rating.. 3.5/5 .. i didnt rate s1 brb.. 3/5 .. huh kinda surprised s2 came out on top •

3-1 hi red.. hi the man... •

ooo i nvr noticed the red details -right b4 walking up there's red cloth in a basket, then - redofc, 5ks keychains, warrens bandana, 10ks socks n bandana n shirt stripes, docs suspenders n sunglasses, cassandra's jacket, addy's shirt n jacket tassels .. very obvious, cool .. then just blue murphy. interesting. enuff red down the line tho •

"got a name?" "10,000. but everyone calls me 10k." "10,000? that's a number, not a name." ... ''so what's ur name?" "red." "that's not a name, that's a color." - wait lol, "you asked me my name, that's my name" red u did it to him first •

3-2 • intros.. s1 was 3bullets, s2 was 2bullets-chomp, s3 was 3bullets+spin .. fun stuff •

now murphy got red pants this ep.. after they first reinforced blue by only showing shirt/skin/hat.. interesting •

ahh murphy wanted warren to go w him so bad :/ "seriously roberta?" .. "ttfn" •

3-3 got a fun screenshot from this ep .. terrible quality ofc.. •

3-4 10k off the bridge n merch khs .. fair enuff•

3-5 tbh the way reds been here so far(aka e1 n now) is so weird.. •

#h-vom

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dystopiandilfs · 3 years

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Dream's discord podcast. Basically him answering questions for 2.5 hours. This will sort of be in order but I fucked up my notes so it might not be in order completely. (From 13th May 2021)

For reference the photos at the end are: A prototype of fidget spinner merch as loads of people asked, a reference photo of his favourite merch and a photo he sent of his hair to prove he wasn't a brunette.

•He said his teeth are mostly straight but he's thought about getting Invisalign. He's never had braces. He has a tiny gap in the left side of his mouth and his canines are longer and sharper (vampire arc). He's never had teeth surgery so has his wisdom teeth still.

•He thinks pineapple on pizza is good.

•He likes seafood like lobster and crab. He had crab made in an air fryer last night. He like peas. He thinks quesadillas are good and likes most food.

•He hates Coffee and most drinks

•The Dream Shorts team is Ken who is his personal reminder (Ken's main job is to spam him with texts so he doesn't forget things as he's got a habit of reading texts and not replying) and also comes up with a list of sets for Dream shorts. The builder is a friend and munchymc builder "his talent gets wasted on Dream's shorts but we pay him so"

•His editors are currently Dizzy, Firesale and Mjcr. Willz doesn't edit for him anymore

•The mask animation isn't done but Mask should be released May 21st. He wants to release them together as "the whole song is a double meaning and the whole nuance will be lost without the animation" but no matter if the animation is done the song is getting released on the 21st.

•He and Sapnap eat together often.

•He and Sapnap prefer medium rare Steak

•He wants a home gym it's something he's willing to splurge on. They currently have a weight rack but they haven't even set it up.

•"Eat the rich? Shut up shut up" - Dream

•Talked about money basically saying "Most people don't understand how money works I don't have millions in my bank account it's in assets like merch, land and warehousing for that stuff" (He's not in his landlord arc)

•He's been debating Pride Merch because of Rainbow Capitalism. He doesn't want it too be seen as a money maker and if he does most proceeds would go to charity. He's currently super busy merch wise with Sapnap joining and George in the middle of joining. He did say "Only if the LGBTQ+ community in this community wants it" He thinks he's going to at least change the merch website to a pride one. Sapnap wants to make pride merch including a rainbow flame on his.

•He wants to create a charity that's centered around helping LGBTQ+ one day because he thinks that there's a lack of them. He mentioned that creating a charity was expensive and took a lot and was a complicated process including a board of directors but he wants to do it someday.

•He wanted to buy a bunch of houses in Florida which was a service to house mostly LGBTQ+ youth and people stuck in abusive households for free to get them out of bad home environments. But he didn't because he didn't want people thinking he was profiting of of abuse victims and LGBTQ+ community.

•He said he's terrible with time management and replying to people which is why Ken helps him (and also helps George and Sapnap). He mentioned how Sam messaged multiple times and Dream just forgot to answer but felt bad "I feel like people think I hate them..... Cause I'd be mad if people did that to me"

•He tries to reply to a few texts a day (community number). He also can't do birthday messages everyday because you can only reply at certain times so it's not abusing the system so if you get one it's special. He said he does try but it's got a weird time gap.

•Him and the manhunt winner are trying to come up with a good time to film

•He wants to stream this MCC on twitch and says his team is good.

•He talks about why he's not partnered with Twitch. Basically Twitch has a lock rate (in which you make money) and you legally can't stream on YouTube. So legally if Tommy wanted to stream on YouTube he couldn't. Someone then mentioned how Bad is a twitch partner but still streams on YouTube "Bad streams on YouTube but he has for a while and I don't think that he cares" - Dream

•He likes to reply to every donation he gets on stream and feels bad when he doesn't so he'll turn them off when he streams and wants a platform deal where he can be payed to stream (not twitch). If he gets a streaming partnership he will stream a couple of times a week. He looked in to Facebook but they don't have an alias system meaning you can see everyone's actual Facebook account and personal info, he doesn't like seeing real names on Facebook so it would require a lot of altering if he was to stream there so he's thinking it's probably going to be YouTube.

•He was asked about if his demographic was what he expected and he said he went in with no expectations, he didn't even know what stans were, wasn't really on social media so he wasn't aware of the fan culture. "You guys are a handful sometimes but it's worth it"

•He also mentioned how he and the DreamSMP changed the twitch audience demographic. It used to be male dominated in both streamers and audience and now it's almost split which is unheard on.

•He has 5 fidget spinners in his house. Two in his bedroom. Two in his office. One in the living room.

•He likes his Minecraft skin as he thinks the arm is cook and you never see the rest of his skin really. He says it's unique and different and "me". Dream: You can't even tell half the skins apart on MC.

•He's not lost the motivation to stream. Most of the times if he wants to stream he gets George or Sapnap to do it and he just turns up. It's more beneficial to them as they have donos and subs on. (Don't we fucking know it "can you say hi to")

•He has listened to Lovejoy. Says the ep was great and they're very talented and awesome. Doesn't know what his favourite song is but probably would pick One Day because the chorus slaps.

•RIP to acoustic Roadtrip. He said instead of acoustic Roadtrip we get Mask so no losses today for Dream stans.

•"With Roadtrip I went to Parker and I said Hey I have a story I want to tell through music. I have no experience with that can you help me" He said sure. He crafted the music and melodies and how things are formed where it's catchy. I have less comfort singing that. I love the song and it's my song, it's very representative of me and I'm sure I could sing it but it's a song I'd be kinds of scared to sing live, with Mask I basically did everything. I sat there the entire time and maybe an hour out if the 100 I wasn't in the call. Dream came up with the lyrics and main melody for Mask (First one he's ever come up with) "That was just notes in my fucking voice memos"

•The clip we heard of Mask was a prechorus not the actual chorus. He thinks he'd be more comfortable to do a mask acoustic and it's more melodic than Roadtrip. The chorus also has a lot of instruments similar to Roadtrip. Mask starts of slow and guitar with minimal reverb and is more raw.

• He doesn't want music to be his main thing. It's something fun to do and he's passionate about it as it's a way to express emotions. He wants to release mask then go from there. He wants to release at least one more song but has nothing on his mind currently. His two ideas were Roadtrip and Mask.

•He wouldn't quit his job to become a pizza delivery man.

•His favourite features on himself are eyes or freckles and he also confirmed that he does have eyebrows.

•He was told that Parkour warrior would be bought back some time in the near future and he got excited for it. "Even if I don't win, which I will, it'll be fun"

•Went on about his MCC team but I'm not going to put that in as we should be getting them today. He did say he wasn't on Pink but he did sound confused. (For reference he's always in Pink as it's the last team announced and keeps the hype up by announcing the biggest streamer last)

•Said he and his mum had the Mr Beast burger. He recommends because he likes the avacado. He mentioned how Mr Beast uses "Ghost Kitchens" which is basically where he gives restaurants permission to cook his food so it's restaurant quality food.

•His favourite piece of merch is the circle smile. (The pool photo on Instagram). He said the quality was bad (he worked with a different company and didn't have his own company) and it was elasticy feeling and he's planning on re-releasing it again but with good quality.

•He's started to send merch out in custom packaging. So his bags have the smile and will mostly be green. Sapnap's has the flame and is either black or white. He's also trying to make it so every order has the sticker packs for both him and Sapnap.

•He loves the coins as it's cheaper than a hoodie but still celebrates the milestones and will last a long time. He mentioned how the old coins are getting removed off the site and how if you have any of the coins your special because only a few thousand get made. He's kept around 100 of each coin that he wants to give away in person.

•He wanted to have a cool store where you could access computers that give you access to the DreamSMP in spectator mode. But it's too costly and would require too much time and isn't safe fight now. He doesn't think it'd be worth it financially.

•Most of the hoodie are black instead of multiple colours because of limited supply and covid. Getting the colours are harder because if the pandemic which hopefully won't be an issue soon.

•He wants to do a short meetup tour with Sapnap and George with a few locations in the US (and if others nearby want to join like Quackity or Karl they can). He also wants to visit Australia, UK, Canada, Mexico and Philippines and do something like that there but definitely at least visit with George and Sapnap.

•He's never been to the Philippines but his mum has. He wants to set up a place in the Philippines where he can ship merch in bulk and it would help to reduce shipping. However it would probably be big milestone merch.

•He's not got the vaccine yet but will get it when he needs to. He doesn't leave the house so he doesn't see the point.

•He's the ideas man. George's footcam video was Dream's idea. The T-shirt video was Dream's idea. Most if not all of the Dream Team's videos are Dream's ideas.

•Said he's got a similar/the same hair colour as Froy (Dream buddy at this point the only difference between you and Froy is that one of you is dating Richard Madden /lh)

#dreamsmp #dream smp #dreamwastaken #mcyt #georgenotfound #sapnap

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haircoveredwriter · 3 years

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Some thoughts after watching 11x06 "On the Inside". I'll put it beneath a break because there's more than I thought to my mindless rambling.

Okay so they're going with a straight horror movie intro but skipping the usual 'we're having such a good time out here in the woods...wait, something it out here too'

Both LR and KC do a really good terrified for their lives

Also have to say Virgil really seems to have stepped up since we met him because dude can actually take out walkers now. Good job, sir. Never stop learning.

More of Leah walking around amoungst a group of people and having no real reason to be there or contribute anything to the scene. 🙄

Damn, Hondo! Stop pulling at Frost's nails! I can't rip half mine off at work without feeling like Hershel when Rick chopped his leg. Fingers and toes always make thigs worse.

Chokeholds are illegal, Daryl. Someone needs to have him watch his own earlier seasons.

The conversation beneath the conversation between Daryl and Frost is spot on and super interesting.

Daryl's like 'look...I'm going to have to chop your finger off but it's for a good reason. Gonna save your life and who knows, maybe one of these weirdos has a Govenor closet somewhere and they'll let you take it home with you.'

Plus him taking off the vest was WAY more entralling than it needed to be, but I'm a woman with eyes so don't judge me. 👀😍(Enthralling? yup, that's what we'll go with)

It's a definite sign Daryl's not all team Reapers because he's basically taking off/hiding who he really is to fit in with his crazy ex-girlfriend's new posse.

Though my science schooling is giving how little blood there is from the amputation the side eye. Guess Frost just willed his blood some place else.

Am I crazy or is the music playing while Daryl torutres Frost the same that was playing in 10x07 while Carol tortured the Whisperer? Coincedence??🤔

Evil Monopoly man seems like he enjoys playing games with his people.

If Connie looking in the mirror is not me everyday I wake-up😏

GUYS! There were medical scissors in the medicine cabinet. You know what this means??? Queen Beth is gonna rise from the dead and save Vonnie all while less half a brain. LOL.

whoever belongs to that eye in the hole needs to get checked for jaundice.

Ofc the pencil breaks when Connie TRULY needs it. Fate really has it in for her, screwing her over with one of her most trusted friends.

These Reapers have no idea do they about how to sneak up on a building without being seen. Maybe they need it to be night before their powers activate. Funny Leah is in charge when she's the least believable one there.

Daryl pretending to be a cat hiding behind a plant with that mailbox...no one can see you my friend. You're good.

Carver and Leah remind me of the evil version of Caryl and Daryl.

They obviously have something going on and/or had a thing in Daryl's abscence. All those "Always" remarks sound an awful lot like The Princess Bride's "As you wish".

Yup, Carver is uber jealous of Daryl. Leaver is setting sail ya'll.🚢

Carol strolling in to find Kelly stuck in the mud with her casual "need some help" is perfection. I actually lol'd.

AT is also SUCH and underrated and underutilized actress on this show, I need more Kelly on my screen because she needs to be protected like the sweet cinnamon role she is.

WTH is with this episode, they really out here trying to start a bunch of new ships or something? I'm down for Vonnie.

He's so into you, Connie. Who else is gonna keep talking to you knowing you can't hear them but needing to vocalize how much more important they see you to themselves.

Oh, come on...he's said her name in this ep more times than anyone has in the last season. He's trying to rival Daryl for saying Carol's name in s10.

So in case you're keeping track...we now have Vonnie and Leaver riding the crazy shipping seas.📃

Great... more posturing about who cares about Leah more.🤮 Carver you aren't getting it; Daryl's been phoning it in since Day 1, he's not a threat just wait it out and he'll audios up out of here to go find his fire queen back home.

Leah's even telling Daryl "stop pissing of my secret boyfriend okay?"

Note to everyone: a dancing phone line is the sign to run to the basement and not a sign of an overeager squirrel running across the line for his acorns.

So the jaundice family watched The Ring too many times and think this is how all the cool kids act in horror flicks. All they keep saying is 'hungry'; Connie, Virgil, someone get them a Mars bar and it'll be done.

A+ fight put up by Virgil. He's been taking some classes during the lockdowns to better himself.

The Reapers are HORRIBLE military folk. How do ya'll not see Maggie & co leaving when you have people on the perimeter for the sole purpose of finding runners?! Do not hire them. 1 star on Yelp.

Yup I'm all over Vonnie. That "together" stuff was by far the shippiest thing we've seen all season.

And their reunion hug through the walll .... guuurl.

walker guts trick again: the express version

why do I feel like they could do a mini spin off of just a little war going on between the walkers and those jaundice mo-fos? Then one of the walkers falls for a crawler girl but her family thinks he's from the wrong side of the yellow house and don't like how he thinks he's better because he's taller than all of them.

Kelly found Connie! So happy this storyline ended with the 2 people the arc was truly about; the 2 sisters finding each otherafter years of the show hating siblings.

Now can we finish with Carol's self-hatred stuff and let her heal? We know Daryl is gonna be finished with his "gotta save 'em all" issues soon so it would be fantastic if they could finally be on the same baggage free playing field. Just a thought Kang.

Overall I thought it was a good episode. Only a few things I would nitpick ie. limited Carol, cheesy music during some of the haunted house bits, and the reapers need to go back to basic training and learn some stuff and thangs.

Ofc the spoilers beforehand were blown way out of proportion though I'm not surprised. I didn't go in expecting to see what was foretold and thankfully the spirit Gods prevailed again in defeating the overreaction we go through EVERY episode.

#Caryl #twd #twd spoilers #s11x06 #episode thoughts #Vonnie is rising #Leaver is rising #I find it hilarious how every single obstacle individual supposedly in the way of Caryl is suddenly being removed #shoved into an entanglement with someone else #I see you Angela #well done

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st4rlabsforever · 3 years

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post-episode 3 fix-it

words: 2.9k

notes: i started a long fic based on this post after watching ep 3. i cannibalized some snippets from another fic i wrote last week so if you see similar scenes, that’s why. i think this will end up being 12-15k words endgame sambucky by the end, but i refuse to post on ao3 until it’s complete. this is the first 3 scenes. feel free to comment and message me your thoughts since i’m still very much in the writing phase :)

summary: “It’s the kind of statement that should be screamed into Bucky’s face, but he’s learning that when Sam’s angry – when he’s truly angry – he’s just as soft-spoken as he is when he’s in one of his pensive moods. And he lets his anger build and build and build until it bursts in spectacular fashion.”

“I didn’t back Steve on the Sokovia Accords,” Sam says unprompted one day. They’re so close to apprehending the Flagsmashers and wrapping up this ridiculous saga.

“I don’t follow,” Bucky says.

“I was the one who refused to sign it first. Not Steve.”

Sam says it so softly that Bucky has to strain to hear him. Sam is loud and chatty and half the time he keeps up a constant stream of chatter just to get on Bucky’s nerves, but Bucky’s coming to realize that when he really wants to make himself heard, he’s soft spoken and mild. Bucky doesn’t entirely follow his train of thought, though.

The thing is, Sam is unreadable when it really matters. He offers words of comfort where needed – in Germany, after seeing Walker with the shield that wasn’t his, knowing that it had affected Bucky just as much as himself; in Madripoor, Bucky’s hand on the throat of some henchman or other, Sam’s hand on his when the Soldier’s memories threatened to overtake him; even in Riga, when Bucky’s guilt over releasing T’Chaka’s killer bubbled to the surface and Sam had checked in with him even though he couldn’t have possibly known about Bucky’s meeting with Ayo. Sam speaks with his eyes, always a searching look that leaves Bucky raw and feeling like he’s been x-rayed. I see you, is what those eyes say.

In contrast, Bucky’s words of comfort feel hollow. He knows that Isaiah is still a live wire for Sam, checks in with him after Madripoor when he can tell the conversation with Nagel weighs heavy on his mind. But he doesn’t see the way Sam does. He knows he’d missed something important because that conversation had ended in an argument and a threat from Sam to destroy the shield.

He never gets a chance to ask Sam what he’s getting at, because Torres signals to them that they’re at the drop point before all hell breaks loose.

***

In the end, after Karli and the Power Broker and whoever else decides to show their head from the emporium of supervillains are dealt with and they finally have a moment of peace, Bucky says, “The shield looks good on you.”

Sam freezes a few paces ahead of Bucky, the shield strapped loosely to his wrist.

“We make a good team,” Bucky says softly.

What he doesn’t expect is for Sam to whirl around suddenly. The look of barely restrained fury is enough to nearly knock Bucky off he’s feet. They fight without ever really fighting all the time, squabbles over who went left and who went right and who was supposed to lead and who was supposed to follow, but never has he seen Sam look like this before. The fury verges on hurt and it’s so fucking visceral that Bucky can barely breathe.

“You don’t get to say that,” Sam says quietly. His voice shakes and he closes his eyes like he’s steadying himself.

“I said I’d squash it until the mission was over, and I did. But you know what? I’m not doing this anymore.”

“Sam–”

“You don’t get to tell me what a good team is. Not after all the shit we just went through. You invited yourself to Munich, and I thought, ‘Fine. I could use the extra set of hands.’ We went through it together against Thanos and I respected that.”

Sam shakes his head. “But then you went off on some lone wolf woe-is-me bullshit, and look at where it got us. You broke Zemo out without even asking if I was down with that. You knew I wasn’t and you forced my hand. Now I’m an accomplice.”

“He was our only lead–”

“Bullshit. That field trip to Madripoor led us right back to Karli. Torres ended up tracking them to Riga anyway.”

“But the Power Broker–”

“–showed his ugly face in the end. All we got out of Madripoor was you digging up your trauma and us getting our faces plastered all over the internet. I promised Sharon one goddamn thing and I can’t even deliver on that now.”

“But I went along with it, fine,” Sam continues. “I knew it couldn’t have been easy reaching back into that headspace, doing what you did to Selby’s men.” The memory blindsides Bucky. “So I tabled it.” Sam taps out a tally with his fingers.

“And back in Baltimore, you’d been too keyed up about Steve being wrong about you to even listen to what I had to say. Again, I tabled it.” Another tally.

“I’ve been meeting you halfway this entire time, man, and I’ve gotten near nothing in return. You kept Isaiah a secret from me, and at first I thought you were just clueless about how damn significant it would’ve been for me to know about him.” Sam shakes his head.

“But then we met him. You saw what they did to him. The one Black supersoldier – a fucking hero – and look what they did to him. You saw it with your own eyes and you still sat there and lectured me about what you thought I should’ve done with that goddamn shield.”

“There’s precedent for it, you know,” Sam says. It takes Bucky a moment to realize Sam is expecting an answer.

Bucky doesn’t know, is the thing. He feels like he’s all of five years old again, put on the spot. He’s reminded of when Zemo just had to let him know about the African American experience; he’d felt chastised and embarrassed enough to pretend like he’d had any clue what themes lurked in Marvin Gaye’s work. Sam just searches him with those eyes, searches Bucky for something yet unfathomable and decides he hasn’t found it. That hurts more than anything else; Bucky wishes he could sink into the ground, make himself as small as possible. Sam doesn’t notice, or else doesn’t care, and just plows on with a scoff.

“You don’t even know the true history of the country you’re living in. Figures.” He shakes his head. “You’re not ever going to be able to separate the shield from the history Black folks have endured at the hands of this country. Not now, not ever.”

Sam doesn’t even look angry anymore. Angry, Bucky can deal with. It would be a relief, even.

Instead, Sam looks at him with a disappointment that somehow surpasses what Steve could have ever accomplished.

“Whatever. I tabled that, too,” Sam says. “And then after Madripoor, after we heard that doctor go on and on about Isaiah’s blood like he wasn’t even a real human-being? I said my piece and all you did was throw that shield bullshit back in my face.”

“Sam–” Bucky tries again. He’s mortified to hear the crack in his own voice.

“It’s honestly breathtaking,” Sam says with something that might be akin to genuine wonder, or maybe even morbid curiosity in his voice. “We saw the same things in Baltimore and Madripoor, but your head was so far up your own ass that you never once stopped to think all of it was just proof to me. That the shield in the hands of a Black man wouldn’t make any damn sense.”

It’s the kind of statement that should be screamed into Bucky’s face, but he’s learning that when Sam’s angry – when he’s truly angry – he’s just as soft-spoken as he is when he’s in one of his pensive moods. And he lets his anger build and build and build until it bursts in spectacular fashion.

Sam’s not even done yet. “And that’s another thing. Stealing the shield from Walker…” Sam rolls his eyes at the memory. “You want to run around with that giant frisbee, fine. That’s your business. But then you forced it on me–”

“That’s not fair,” Bucky says immediately. Desperately. “You didn’t have to accept it.”

“The whole damn country was watching,” Sam says hotly. “It was either accept it, or shit all over Steve fucking Rogers’s legacy and make myself into the villain half the country was already hoping I’d turn out to be.”

“You were dead wrong for that,” Sam says. “I stuck around until we took down Karli because it was the right thing to do. After Munich, though, this little adventure was all you. Zemo, Madripoor, the shield.”

Sam shoves the shield into Bucky’s arms, the impact so sudden that it forces him back a step.

“Since you’re so obsessed with this thing, it’s yours. Congrats,” Sam says sarcastically. “I’m sure you’ll do it proud.”

Bucky lets out a breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding.

“For what it’s worth,” Sam says, “Steve might not have understood everything about me. But in Vienna, when it came time to sign the accords? He was considering it. I put my foot down first and he listened.”

Sam shrugs. “Whatever you thought we were, it's not a team.”

Bucky knows where to drive the knife in to kill a man in as few twists of the wrist as possible – a brutal economy of movement and technique. But Sam...it pales in comparison to what Sam’s capable of. His weapons aren’t knives and his targets may not be made of flesh and blood, but he knows exactly where he needs to strike to rip Bucky open raw. Bucky feels like he’s been flayed alive.

“How about that long vacation?” Sam says, and claps Bucky on the shoulder.

And we’ll never have to see each other ever again goes unsaid.

Fuck.

***

The thing about ignoring Sam’s texts was that Bucky responded if they were actually important. It just so happened that most of the nonsense Sam sent was inane prattling about his day, about his job, his sister, his nephews. Now that he’s on the receiving end of it, though, it feels awful.

3/25/21, 2:58 AM

I’m sorry.

Delivered

3/28/21, 1:51 AM

Can we talk?

Delivered

3/31/21, 3:05 AM

Let me know what to do and I’ll do it.

Read 3:34 AM

4/1/21, 12:42 AM

Or if there’s anything you need.

Read 1:05 AM

Yesterday, 1:00 AM

I’m available if you need another body for a mission.

Read 1:02 AM

A week into the admittedly one-sided exchange, Sam turns his damn read receipts on. It’s ridiculous and it’s fucking asinine and it gets under Bucky’s skin immediately. It’s a form of twenty-first century psychological warfare that he’s unfamiliar with and already can’t stand. Mainly, he hates that it makes him seem desperate (he’s not), needy (he might be, especially when he realizes with horror that he actually misses Sam’s rambling texts), and ridiculous (he definitely is, because he’s letting petty mind games get to him).

Normally, Sam would send him nearly daily updates on his comings and goings – whether he’d been in New York, D.C., or New Orleans. The radio silence is unsettling. Bucky wonders if Sam made good on his promise to take a long vacation. And then....

The thing about apologies is that Bucky isn’t sure he’s ever done a proper one in his entire life, at least nothing beyond a rote “I’m sorry” with the “let’s move on” part left unspoken. But it stands to reason, Bucky thinks, that a proper apology can’t be given if he’s not completely certain what he’s dealing with. That’s all well and good because he’s got the world at the tips of his fingers, is what Yori always said. And when he grows frustrated with reading on his tiny phone screen, the New York Public Library is only a train ride away.

Sam had mentioned precedent, so Bucky’s first search is for medical experimentation. He knows for a fact he was good at this once, a memory of Steve whining about him being too good at exams coming up unbidden. He reads voraciously. Anything and everything that might offer a clue on what he’d missed. And it doesn’t take long for him to find what he’s looking for.

He reads with dawning horror. The Tuskegee syphilis experiments. Eugenics. God, the fucking Nazis had even modeled their race science on the American school of thought. The things that the history books left out. Some of it was even happening under his nose in the 30s, he’d just been blissfully unaware. He somehow ends up down a rabbit hole where words like `prison industrial complex’ and `school-to-prison pipeline’ make increasingly more persistent appearances. New Jim Crow. COINTELPRO. War on drugs. The way all of these horrors reached their long arms into the twenty-first century.

Bucky’s going to be sick. The memories come up one after another.

Just give him your ID so we can leave.

You think you can wake up one day and decide who you want to be? It doesn’t work like that. Well, maybe it does for folks like you.

So you’re telling me that there was a Black supersoldier decades ago and nobody knew about it.

This is what you’re not going to do. You’re not going to come here in your over-extended life and tell me about my rights.

The shield wasn’t yours to give away.

He spends the next week in his downtime reading. With the mission being over and his parole in jeopardy, his downtime mostly coincides with every day of the week.

Had Steve known?

No, he thinks. Steve was compassionate, but he wouldn’t have known because he’d taken one look at the problems of twenty-first century America and decided he’d had enough. Then he’d ran back to the 40s to live out some fantasy that simply didn’t – couldn’t – exist anymore. Had he eventually become aware of all the issues plaguing this country that they’d been able to ignore as starry-eyed kids in Brooklyn? Bucky hopes not, because that would mean he’d...no.

A part of Bucky thinks he’s so surprised because he’d thought things – race relations, civil rights, not things, his brain amends – had been getting better in the 40s. Deep down, though, he knows that’s a lie. A 2 AM read through Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of the United States confirms it. Shady politicians. Klansmen who went back to their day jobs as cops, judges, firefighters. Mass incarceration taking its place as the new king on the throne of segregation. Evidently,

There had been plenty of folks – white folks – raising an uproar about these hidden horrors back then. The seeds of those movements had even been there in the 30s. Bucky tells himself that he’d been raised during the Great Depression, that his family had been too focused on putting food on the table to focus on social movements, but that, too, ends up being a lie. The poorest and working class whites – some, at least – in movement and solidarity with civil rights. Not him, though. Apparently he’d had his head up his ass back then, too.

Bucky can see the bigger picture a tiny bit more clearly, now.

Fine. So he’s been disarmed of the little lies he’d used as shields, and he also owes Sam one hell of an apology.

Somehow, he doesn’t think “I’m sorry, I was ignorant then but I read some books and now I know better” is going to cut it. Maybe a commitment to do better would work? Perhaps after Baltimore, but not now. That ship had long since sailed. Some grand act of service, then? He’s sure he can think of something Sam needs in this post-Blip world that he can provide. He vaguely remembers Sarah mentioning something about a ship and bank loan. That could be a starting point.

It doesn’t take much time to find the public records on the Wilson family business and then the not-so-public records on the denied bank loan. It wouldn’t take much for him to pry a little, not when seedy bankers were astonishingly amenable to the threat of violence. But he’s reminded of Zemo and figures that he ought not to do anything so drastic that could jeopardize Sam’s family situation further.

He snorts. Did growth that came several months late still count?

In the end, he decides to rip the bandage off quickly, which is how he finds himself in the sticky Louisiana heat with his hands shoved deep into his pockets, staring back at an incredulous Sam through his open door.

“I did some reading recently,” Bucky says.

“Hmm.”

It’s not outright refusal, so Bucky continues.

“About, um, the things you mentioned last time. Precedent.”

“Huh.”

For someone who’s normally so expressive with his language, Sam’s one-word answers as nerve-wracking as anything.

“I didn’t fully appreciate the situation that you were in. That you’re still in,” Bucky amends.

Sam shrugs. “It’s cool,” he says in a way that doesn’t sound like he really believes it. Bucky wonders if this is a test; he feels just as lost as he did on that plane a week ago.

“Let’s do this outside,” Sam says, closing the door behind him and ushering Bucky away from it. “Walk with me.”

They head down to the pier mostly in silence until Bucky breaks it. “I’m sorry for making it all about me,” he says.

Sam stares at him. It’s true Bucky might stare a little too much on occasion, but Sam’s stares are utterly unnerving in the way he seems to see right through Bucky when he really wants to, like he’s already mapped out all there is to know.

#sambucky #sam wilson #Bucky Barnes #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws spoilers

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cakebeam · 3 years

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Hello Darling 🦋

I can’t believe we trusted Chris to deliver us Malex. We‘ve seen 7 of 13 eps and got only two mini-malex-moments and one of them is Michael being mean to Alex.😠 Half of the season is over.

At this point I believe Chris and Heather have some personal relationship bc otherweise I can’t understand why Maria is leading S3? Wasn‘t Liz supposed to be the Lead-Character? Heather directing ep 7 where everybody praises Maria??? 🤮🤮🤮

I wasn‘t expecting him to undo S2 and what Maria did but giving us hope about malex and delivering nothing but making Maria the most important person on the show??? We have genius Michael, extra-ordinary brilliant Liz, mindcontrolling Isobel, Captain Alex and smart doctor Kyle who are not able to defeat Jones but Maria who didn’t have any powers for the last ten years and didn‘t know how to control her power in the last few eps?🤦🏽‍♀️🤔🤨

I think Chris, Vlamis and Jeanine are using Malex and giving us hope and some crumbles about malex (other acknowledging their love is NOT malex-content for me. Malex interacting together, talking together and working towards a relationship is good malex-content. Not Michael accusing Alex of not caring about anybody. 😖) bc otherweise so many fans of malex would stop watching RNM. Malex is their selling-point. After S1 and and during/after S2 so many fans left RNM.

I am leaving now and stopping watch RNM anymore, bc malex will not get together in S3 and how stupid and unlogical S3 is, there no point in watching it anymore.

I will scroll through Tumblr and see what happens.

Have a nice day! 🤗

Chris, like most showrunners, doesn't follow through with their promises (i.e. we're treating Echo and Malex the same this season). And sadly, it looks like he's carrying the homophobic torch on continuing to separate Malex from each other (while having them propping Maria Deluca up) into season 3. It's really too bad, I didn't expect a huge amount of change but damn, he's literally hung the Malex fans out to dry in a REAL in your face way.

I don't think Heather/Maria's special treatment this season is because she's Chris's favorite character or person or anything. It has to do with the network trying to save face this year as they became under fire last year for treating their POC/black character's poorly in storytelling (in all CW's shows, not just RNM). Maria being in every scene this season is the CW/RNM trying to say, "LOOK WE CARE ABOUT OUR POC CHARACTERS, IT'S MARIA EVERYWHERE, DON'T THINK TOO MUCH ON WHAT WE'RE HAVING HER SAY OR DO, JUST THAT SHE'S IN EVERY SCENE AND WE'RE SAYING HER NAME 1000 TIMES AN EPISODE!". It's definitely not helping RNM's case as Maria is still being written to be the absolute worst and still hasn't had any character development this season.

Liz has not been the lead of her own show since season 1. It's absolute bullsh*t they had Maria Deluca written to be front and center this season when it's LIZ ORTECHO'S SHOW and Maria Deluca is still being written to be the f*cking worst. Also yeah, didn't really think about it but really weird how in Heather's director debut the writer's had all the characters say 'Maria' like a billion times (seriously, if it was a drinking game we'd all be hospitalized or dead).

I actually was expecting Chris and the writer's to fix a LOT of season 2's mishandlings, especially in regards to the homophobic narration wrapped around Malex and Maria. It's literally the least they could do after grossly insulting the LGBTQ+ community last season and triggering a lot of people from that disgusting scene. They seem to have no problem writing everyone to be OOC in being up Maria's ass this season, yet just simply making a point in stating on screen by ANY character that how Alex Manes was treated by Maria (and even Michael at times) was wrong and especially 2x06's actions was unacceptable. There are no excuses, the writer's are just choosing to ignore all of it because it pertains to a gay character.

It can definitely be seen now 7 episodes into this season, that in the past interviews the cast, writer's and showrunner's have just been queerbaiting fans in trying to get them to continue watching this pretty terrible show. At this point, whatever Malex scenes we get at this point, I'm not expecting much. We only have 6 more episodes left and the romance hasn't even started between the two of them, they're barely interacting or talking about one another in other scenes. Don't even get me started on Sanders/Ramos being the ones to drop the Malex crumbs, it should be the main group. You know, the people who were completely ignoring Malex all last season? Still would love to know how the f*ck Ramos/Flint/Greg/Max/Sanders all found out about Malex since NONE OF THEM WILL TELL US. They just know. It's bullsh*t.

I totally understand nonnie, and I can't give you a reason to keep watching, this season has been a huge disappointment. I'm still going to try and stick it out till 3x13 but at this point I'm heavily disappointed after seeing how the homophobic narration is still going strong on this show.

#ask bee #anti maria deluca #malex #mentions of rnm 2x06

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deerixiie · 3 years

Text

u n e x p e c t e d g u e s t

ep 12: questions

previous / next (ep 13) / series masterlist

a/n: i was too lazy to edit or have someone beta so if you see a grammar mistake,,, no you don’t.

Kenma watched you.

He watched as you slowly set your phone down with a quiet sigh. He watched as you picked up Ankha gently in your hands and began to stroke her fur. He watched as you looked out into the distance, your eyes unfocused, your mouth curved slightly into a small frown.

Kenma found himself frowning, too. He didn’t like seeing you this worried. A simple appearance in the background of a livestream had turned your life on its axis, and it was taking a toll on your mental health, as well.

What should he do? He was the one you turned too, after all. But he was terrible with words—if saying his order at a restaurant was difficult, how could he even imagine comforting you?

His eyes dropped to the console resting a foot away from him, and he let out a tiny sigh. He wasn’t good with words, but he was good at video games.

Kenma extended the Switch to you with a soft smile. “Do you want to play?”

You played Smash this time, something that you picked up surprisingly easily. Kenma, however, wasn’t paying attention to the game. His eyes kept drifting back to you. You seemed more relaxed now that you were playing, but every so often your smile would drop and your eyes would unfocus.

Kenma frowned again.

Come to think of it, you only knew him for about a week—or maybe less? Why were you coming to him when it was obvious he couldn’t do much to comfort you? Didn’t you have other friends? There was Kuroo, the one who had introduced you two. (Though, now that he thought about it, Kuroo wouldn’t be much help.) Then what about your brother and his friend?

Kenma glanced over to you for what had to be the umpteenth time. He paused, considering his words, and then put down his controls. “Do you have any other friends that live around here?”

You didn’t seem as uncomfortable with the question as Kenma was, even offering a smile smile. “Apart from you, Kuroo, Hajime and Oikawa? No, not really. Why?”

“No reason.”

You shrugged. “Now that I think about it, it’s kind of weird, y’know? As a kid I basically clung to Hajime, meaning I was friends with Oikawa too. I haven’t really been the type for friends, per se?” You frowned. “Does that make sense?”

“No, I understand.” It was like that with him too—apart from you, Kenma’s closest friends were probably only Kuroo and Hinata. Everyone else was a mutual friend or an acquaintance.

“And whenever I need something, I would turn to Oikawa or Hajime. It’s actually weird for me to be coming here now. But,—” your voice became more solemn, “the thought of being in the house with Hajime and Oikawa just felt… suffocating. Being around you calms me down, I guess?” Your eyes widened at that statement, as if you didn’t mean to say it aloud.

Kenma ducked his head, wishing his hair was down so it would hide his blush.

You felt comfortable with him—and Kenma did too. Whereas talking to others gave him anxiety, he found himself easily being able to talk to you. (It was ironic, how easy it was for Kenma to talk to you but still not able to comfort you.)

His mind floated back to the conversation he had with Hinata. Kenma’s eyebrows furrowed. Did Hinata ever ask you about him? He glanced over to his phone, only to remember as he reached for it that you were still sitting there.

“Can you give me a second, Y/n?” Kenma asked, swiftly tucking his phone in his hoodie’s pocket.

You looked up with him with startled eyes. “Uh, sure! Go ahead.”

Kenma ducked into the hallway, pulling out his phone. Sure enough, a text from Hinata glowed on the screen.

Kenma sighed and slipped back into the living room. Your expression was thoughtful, although unfocused. You continued to stroke Ankha’s fur, but more aimlessly this time.

“Y/n?”

You didn’t move an inch.

“Y/n.” Kenma’s voice was louder. He took a few cautious steps toward you, saying your name a third time. You blinked and turned to face him, giving him a startled smile. “Oh, uh, did I drift off there?”

“Yeah.” Kenma sat down and picked up the controls. He paused and turned to you again, his expression full of concern. “Are you... okay?”

“Oh.” You gave a small shrug. “I’m doing better than before.”

“You kept drifting off.”

“Oh! I’m uh, I’m thinking.” You looked away from him, rubbing circles into Ankha’s fur. “I think I want to start all over again.”

“Start…” Did you mean your art blog or something else?

You leaned your head back. “Yeah, like, start my entire life with a clean slate. New blog, new twitter, new hobbies—” e/c eyes flicked to him, only for the briefest of seconds—“new apartment, new roommates.”

Kenma played with the controls, avoiding eye contact with you. “Do what makes you happy.”

“Yeah.” Kenma’s gaze snapped back to you. You had a wistful, almost dreamy expression in your eyes, a soft smile gracing your lips. “What makes me happy.” You looked back at Kenma and the expression dropped, a sheepish smile taking its place. “Ah, whatever, lets just go back to playing!”

Kenma frowned but picked up his controls anyway, sparing you one last glance before focusing on the screen.

Two hours passed rather quickly. You played Smash for another half-hour or so before switching back to Animal Crossing. Conversation was light, comfortable, and Kenma found himself easing back into that odd familiarity he had with you. You seemed to be doing the same, but every so often you’d look over to him as if to ask something and then back out of it, turning back to your Switch. It frustrated him at first—what weren’t you asking him?—but the hypocrisy of the situation humbled him. He couldn’t ask you a simple question either.

(But then again, there was a heavy weight over his question. Six simple words-will you go out with me?—carried much more meaning than six simple words normally did. What if Hinata read the situation wrong, and you only saw him as a friend? What if you said no? What if you exited his life almost as quickly as you came?)

Eventually you set the console down with a heavy sigh and stretched your arms above your head. (Kenma glanced over at the exposed skin before he could stop himself.)

“It’s already two,” you remarked, glancing down at your phone. “Are you hungry?”

“Not really.”

“Onigiri or inari sushi?” you continued, disregarding his response. “Do you still have some leftover rice from last time?”

“I’m not-” Kenma shook his head, letting his protests die away. “Yeah.”

You gave him a small, smug smile and walked over to the kitchen, humming to yourself. The sounds of cluttering pots and pans that Kenma oftentimes forgot existed followed.

She knows me better than myself, he mused. It’s been barely a week and you were such a strong presence in his life—was it because you watched his streams? Your friendship with Kuroo? You were popping up in the most unexpected places, first behind the counter at the flower shop, now at his front doorstep meekly asking if you could stay for a while. You chose him, even when there were so many others out there.

“You’re getting soft, Kenma.” Kuroo had said that to him last night after you went home, a smirk playing on his face. Kenma had shot the dark-haired boy an annoyed glance and a bitter retort, but he saw the truth in the statement now.

Kenma let out a quiet, defeated sigh. You were doing so much for him and yet he had nothing to offer.

He had to change that.

“Y/n?”

“Hm?” You turned around to him, expectant, and Kenma realized with a sickening churn of his stomach the reality of what he was about to do.

“Is there something on your mind?”

He couldn’t even ask the real question.

Your face falls. “Yeah, there’s a lot.” You glanced away from him, rubbing the back of your neck. “I’ve been meaning to ask you a question, actually.”

Kenma held his breath.

“Can I move in with you?”

The response flew out of Kenma’s mouth before he had time to consider it—something that shocked him, because he always was careful of his words.

“Yeah.”

previous / next (ep 13) / series masterlist

notes:

❍ im so excited for what’s happening next hehe

fun facts:

❍ punchy was napping under a couch so y/n couldn’t pet him :(

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