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winryofresembool · 1 year

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Jily one-shot: Sex Education

A Jily Valentine Gift Exchange fic for @athenasparrow!

@jilymicrofics

Summary: A trainee ob/gyn Lily Evans isn't very impressed when she's invited to teach sex ed at a local sixth form college and she finds out that the students' knowledge of the topic is rather lacking. Enter James Potter, a fellow doctor, who manages to make teaching sex ed more interesting.

A/N: This fic is very different from the stuff I usually write but I ended up having a lot of fun writing it! I am by no means an expert on sex education nor UK school system in general so please be kind if some term isn't 100% correct.

A lot of inspiration for this fic were taken from Grey's Anatomy S19E03 aka the episode Athena mentioned in her wish list, and from Mama Doctor Jones' youtube vids. Also, shout out to @wearingaberetinparis from whom I borrowed the kitty name Merlin.

If you have read this far, you are probably aware there will be smut in this fic, but if you want to avoid that and read the rest of the fic, the smut part is in the last quarter. Also, while this Jily is English, there is a brief reference to the Roe v. Wade overturn in one part of this fic, just to warn you in case that’s something that may trigger you. The James and Lily of this fic are very much pro choice and if you don't agree with that, this fic is not for you.

All that being said, I hope you enjoy!! And don't forget to let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I do not agree with any of the author-who-shall-not-be-named's views.

Words: 10667

Rated: E

AO3

...

Lily Evans sighed as she threw herself down on a sofa, lifting her feet up in the air. As a part of her training to become an ob/gyn, she had been invited to teach sex ed to Year 13:s at a school located a few hours from her workplace, but she was already regretting agreeing to do it with only half of the lectures behind her so far. It was unbelievable to her how little even those who were about to apply for universities knew about basic human anatomy; many had confused terms like vagina, uterus and ovaries with each other and someone had even claimed that the human egg cells were the size of a chicken egg. She hadn’t been sure whether to cry or laugh at that comment. Biting her lip, she had tried to explain the facts but she wasn’t sure how effective her lecture had really been.

Now she had an hour-long break, which she was planning to embrace fully. 15-30 minutes of resting in the empty staff room (most of the teachers were already at the school cafeteria or still teaching), after which she’d head back down for lunch. As she leaned her head against the backrest, her mind went back to a specific moment during her latest lecture. While she had been talking, she had noticed a – rather attractive, she had to admit – man of presumably her age, also wearing a doctor’s coat, watching and listening to her intently. There had been something familiar about him but she wasn’t sure what. However, she hadn’t had a chance to ask before he had already left.

Secretly hoping that she would eventually find out who the man was, she finally snapped out of her daydreams when she realized she’d have to rush if she still wanted to get her lunch. She got up, straightened her doctor’s coat, and also fixed her ponytail quickly before leaving the room.

Her lunch plans came to a halt when she walked past the classroom where she was supposed to lecture next, overhearing a student asking his teacher:

“So, basically, you’re saying don’t have sex or you’ll die, like those videos our parents were shown when they were kids?”

The teacher sounded really awkward when he tried to respond: “Uh, that’s not… I just… You gotta be careful! STI:s are no joke!”

Lily sort of felt pity for the man who clearly wasn’t made to teach about sex, and she decided to step in, even if it meant she would probably miss her lunch altogether. At least she had some snacks in her bag she could resort to if need be.

“You’re right in one thing,” she said loudly enough that everyone could hear her. “It never hurts to be careful when it comes to sex. However…” She addressed the students now. “Don’t be afraid of it. There’s such stigma around STI:s even though they are way more common than you’d think. Medicine develops and we learn more about treatments and the way certain viruses are transmitted all the time; for example HIV is very much manageable these days and with only a few simple precautions you can avoid it and other infections altogether.”

“I’m sorry, but who are you? And why are you interrupting my class?” the teacher stopped her rambling.

“I’m Lily Evans, a trainee ob/gyn and here to lecture about these exact things. As a matter of fact,” she checked her schedule from her phone, “does this happen to be the class 13 B?””

“Yes, that’s us,” the teacher confirmed, still a bit flabbergasted.

“In that case, I’m supposed to teach this group in a bit anyway, so I can take over if you’d like.”

The man didn’t protest but his mouth still hung open as if he would have liked to say something. Lily decided to ignore it and asked: “So, what are those precautions you can take, one might ask. I’ll tell you. You may consider some of these obvious but I don’t think repeating them can hurt: 1) use condoms. It doesn’t only prevent pregnancy - when you’re having sex with someone who can get you pregnant - with a fairly high accuracy but it also protects you from so many infections. Boys, don’t come complaining to me ‘they are so uncomfortable!’ Trust me, it’s a small price to pay in the grand scheme of things. 2) talk with your partner, or partners. A good relationship is one where you can talk about these things openly. Really, it never hurts to ask. And 3) have regular checkups at a doctor, especially if you are unsure about whether you or someone you have sex with might have an STI. Don’t be ashamed of it. Trust me, we’ve seen it all, and we don’t shame anyone. It’s life, sometimes things happen and that’s fine. Now, these are just some basics; there’s more you can do but that’s a lecture for another time.”

At this point everyone was staring at her with rather similar expressions on their faces as their teacher had had a moment earlier. She realized that her open way to talk about this topic surprised many; it really was a shame how little pupils were taught about sex at school.

To break the silence, she reached for her backpack and said: “Alright then. Who wants some free condoms?” She started throwing the small foil packages at the students, some of whom caught them rather eagerly, some a bit bashfully.

“So, are there any questions?” she asked once all the packages had disappeared. A silence filled the room again. “Alright, since there are no questions… unless your teacher has something to add… “ she glanced at the teacher who just shook his head, “feel free to go and have a 10 minute break while I get prepared for the next lesson; we’ll continue with other topics after the break.”

The group left, and after exchanging a couple of words with the teacher, Lily was left alone to check if she had everything she needed in her bag. Only, there was still someone watching her.

“That was quite an impressive way you just shut that teacher’s mouth,” a man with messy, black hair, glasses, and a long, white coat told her. It didn’t take her long to register it was the same man she had already seen earlier that day. He was leaning against the wall casually and the grin on his face made her feel like he was up to no good, but maybe it was just the way he smiled. “Really, though, that’s exactly why they should let the professionals do the sex ed part; those poor kids won’t learn anything otherwise.”

“And who are you?”

“Oh, sorry. I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Potter, James Potter.”

Lily rolled her eyes but took his extended hand and shook it. The grip was firm and warm. “What is it with blokes called James and wanting to introduce yourself that way?”

“Just admit it, Mr. Bond is the coolest guy in the UK.”

“If you say so, Potter. I’m Evans, Lily Evans, by the way. And I’m curious about why I’ve caught you watching my lectures not once but twice today.”

“Who doesn’t want to listen to a beautiful woman talk about sex?” Lily couldn’t help herself, she blushed at the compliment. “From a scientific point of view, of course. I’m a trainee surgeon and I’m here to help my colleague record some of his lectures so they can be used at later dates when needed. I just happened to walk past this classroom when I was heading to the staff room and got curious when I saw you lecturing. My friends always say one day my curiosity will get me in trouble.”

“Alright. I suppose your explanation makes sense,” Lily nodded. “I mean, the same sort of happened to me.”

“Guess we’re both curious natures then,” James stated. “So, um, we literally just started talking and this is probably going to sound like a crazy or weird suggestion to you, but… since I’m having the next hour free, can I join your lecture? My colleague is off to who knows where so it’s not like I have better things to do. I could even help you if you wanted to.”

“And why would you do that?” Lily questioned, narrowing her eyes. “Didn’t you just say you were impressed by how I handled that class?”

“I really was, and I would never underestimate your skills to teach those kids everything they need to know about sex. But it can never hurt to bring some male perspective with you, right?” He gave her a lopsided smile that somehow managed to make her heart beat a bit faster.

“Err…” she mumbled, “I suppose you have a point there.”

“I promise I won’t step on your toes.” He made what Lily could only describe as ‘deer eyes’ and she couldn’t help but smile back.

“Good.”

Lily took a moment to inspect the other doctor more closely, and the feeling that she somehow knew him got stronger.

“Excuse me, but I can’t shake the feeling that we might have met before.”

“That’s because we have,” James noted. “Truth to be told, that was the real reason why I stopped to listen to you.”

“We have?”

“Yeah. Hogwarts university med school. We were there at the same time, even though for whatever reason our paths never crossed properly. But I would never forget that red hair on the other side of the hall.” He stepped closer and seemed like he wanted to touch her hair, but finally decided against it. A part of her definitely wanted to tell him it was OK for him to touch it, but she stopped herself, instead thinking back to her Hogwarts university days.

“Potter… Potter… Hey! Were you a part of that group that called themselves the Marauders? You sometimes sabotaged the lectures on purpose… and I also heard some rumors about some pretty interesting campus parties... There was also that Black guy… and two others…”

“So you remembered Sirius’ name but not mine,” James huffed. “Typical. And for your information, we only sabotaged lectures when it was necessary; some professors were just straight out nasty or gave us misinformation on purpose.”

“That’s what you say but now I’m starting to suspect you’re here to ruin my lecture.” Lily accused, but not seriously.

“I would never. Marauders’ honor.” James put a hand over his heart. “Besides, that was literally like 8 years ago; I’d like to think that I’ve grown out of those habits by now.”

“Well, I’ll give you a chance. But if you try to pull off something weird, I will find out who your supervisor is and ask them to reconsider making you a surgeon.” Her index finger poked his chest playfully. A pretty solid chest, she realized.

James raised his hands in mock surrender. “Geeze, Evans, playing with the big guns already? As I said, I would never overstep my boundaries; you’re the one who gets paid to do that lecture. I’ll just add some things if I see an opportunity.”

“Alright.” Lily accepted. “Sorry, I simply remembered that one time we got living rats in our lab class – which I now suspect was your doing – and I don’t want a repeat of that today.”

“Yeah, we may have gotten a bit overboard with that prank,” James smiled sheepishly. “You’re free to check my bag for rats if you feel the need for that.”

“No need for that, I trust your word – this time. Anyway, if you’re going to do this, maybe we should quickly go through the topics I was planning to cover during this lecture so you’ll have an idea what we’re supposed to talk about.”

As they did that, Lily started to feel like maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to bring James along. He had surprisingly good ideas to add into her ‘script’ and he also seemed to be a natural performer; at least he wasn’t a single bit ashamed to talk about sex in front of strangers. … “Alright,” Lily clapped her hands to get the class’s attention. “I know you’ve already covered STI:s and various contraceptives earlier today with other people, but now we get to the truly exciting part: what you should know about sex itself. Laugh ahead; I bet you will learn something during this lecture. First, I’d like to ask you a question: how big a percentage of women or people with internal reproductive organs do you think can get an orgasm simply from penetration, no foreplay involved?”

The students yelled their guesses:

“90 per cent?”

“85?”

“80?”

“That’s not right.” Lily shook her head. “I’ve seen some articles claim that it’s roughly 60%. However, as a woman and someone with plenty of female friends, I would say it’s actually even lower than that. This is a topic that is difficult to research so the sample is small.”

“You can laugh now, boys.” James was glaring at a couple of boys who had been chuckling at Lily’s commentary, as if they didn’t believe her. “But I bet your partners aren’t laughing if you just completely choose to ignore the foreplay. They might make you think that they enjoy what you’re doing but in reality a lot of the moans and other reactions are fake. Just repeating what you see in porn movies and stuff like that does not make you adept in sex, am I right, Evans?”

“Yep, you’re correct. Saying that real sex is like porn is like saying books and their movie adaptations are the same. Some people may believe in that, but…” Lily left the rest for the listeners’ imagination. James continued: “I’m not ashamed to admit that as a teenager I may have had that kind of mind set too, but thank – apologies, I just can’t not use the next word in this context - fuck I went to the med school and learned a thing or two about the secrets of human anatomy. I mean, I may have known some basics earlier than that but my exes would probably tell you that there was some room for development.”

That made the group of students laugh out loud.

“Oh, I’m curious now, Potter,” Lily told him, unable to stop her mouth from twitching. “What exactly did you learn at med school?”

“I learned that real men - cis, trans, whatever label you yourself want to use - give their partners orgasms. Real orgasms. So, if you want to be a real man… you better learn how to please your partner. And doctor Evans, I believe you are the better person to answer questions on how to achieve that.”

“Hmmm, thanks Potter. For one, it’s extremely important to remember that different things work for different people. Sometimes a bit of experimentation is needed to find what works for you, both in regards to how you personally like to be touched, and who you want to be intimate with. Maybe you’re still on your journey to discover your sexuality, maybe you only want to have sex with a very specific person, maybe with several people, or maybe you don’t want to have sex at all. All of those are completely normal, valid situations. If sex is not something you want, there’s absolutely no need to rush it, nor do you need to feel ashamed if you enjoy it a lot. That is everyone’s personal choice and no one else’s business.”

Lily took a quick swig from her water bottle and glanced at James from the corner of her eye; he gave her an encouraging nod.

“Anyway, you guys are around 18 now, right? That means some of you have already had sex and some of you haven’t. The media often makes it seem like the first time is such a huge deal, but my personal view is that it should be treated similarly to any other experience you have during your life. You gained something. Great. Now let’s move onto the next experience. ‘Losing virginity’ is a horrible phrase that you will not hear me use in other contexts except this. I mean, too many people still think that sex is all about penetration and 'virginity' is something you 'lose' when a cock breaks the hymen. But here's the thing: not only are there many ways to have sex that do not involve penetration, but there's a lot of misinformation regarding hymens too. It’s a small piece of tissue surrounding the opening of the vagina that can come in many shapes and sizes and can break for a large variety of reasons. It does not tell you whether someone has had sex or not. So, if someone tries to tell you otherwise… Please know they’re wrong.”

She waited for a moment to see if someone wanted to comment or ask something before continuing.

“What else should you know about first times? Well, it’s often messy and awkward and nothing like books or movies make it sound, but the good news is: it gets better. And the best part is that you can practice on your own and learn to know your own body.”

James took over: “By masturbating. Which, by the way, is also totally normal and shouldn’t be something to be ashamed of. What happens in your bedroom, stays in your bedroom.”

“That’s right.” Lily agreed. “And when it comes to mutual pleasure, as I already said, there are other ways to reach it besides penetration. It’s good to learn what other erogenous zones you personally find enjoyable besides the obvious ones, and let me tell you, there are many, and some of them might be rather surprising. Some of the better known ones are for example ears and neck and inner thighs… But, how many of you knew that for example the backs of the knees or armpits are erogenous zones? Or hands? Or feet? Yep, you heard that right. Having your partner rub your feet can really help you get off.”

“Ah, yes. My personal favorite, armpits,” James joked.

“Don’t make fun of armpits, Potter. This is serious business.”

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t. Well, does anyone have questions at this point?”

Surprisingly many students had (Lily had a feeling that James had a big role in breaking the ice between them and the students), and once those questions had been answered and the students had been given pamphlets about the previous topics, she took 3D models of internal reproductive organs and external genitals from her bag and wanted to know if the students could name the various parts. Turned out, their knowledge was quite lacking; many didn’t for example know where the clitoris was located and a couple were even surprised to find out that urine and period blood come from different holes.

A bit later Lily stopped the discussion: “So, now that you know the names and locations of the spots that can give you pleasure, it’s time to move on. What else is important in good sex aside from knowing where to touch?”

“May I answer this question, Doctor Evans?” James winked at her.

“Aha, I see what you did there, Doctor Potter. What he just demonstrated here was asking for my consent. And indeed that is something that should never, ever be ignored when discussing sex.”

Lily cleared her throat and continued: “So, you all should at least in theory know what consent means. But how does it show in practice during a sexual encounter? Well, here’s one red flag you should pay attention to: if you, or your partner, need verbal persuasion or convincing it is not consent. You are not supposed to feel uncomfortable in that situation. Tell your partner how you feel, and ask them how they feel.”

“Trust me, everyone. Spoken consent is hot,” James chimed in. “A simple question like ‘what do you want to do?’ or ‘is this OK?’ can make a big difference.”

Lily’s mind went to an entirely wrong place for a moment as she pictured him saying exactly those things at her, in private. It took her a moment to collect herself and continue talking.

“Ahem. Anyway. Some people have higher tolerance than others, but regardless, sex is something that should be enjoyable to all involved, so you have every right to stop your partner if you’re not feeling comfortable.”

“And if your partner doesn’t respect your boundaries, it’s a sexual assault. Your partner is committing a crime against you and it should be immediately reported and you should also get medical treatment if needed. The sad fact is that many victims of sexual assault are too afraid to do that because sometimes it can be hard to prove it happened and they might feel guilty, ashamed or humiliated. But, if it does happen to you, please seek help. You’re not alone in that situation and there are people out there who want to help and protect you.”

At this point Lily absolutely hated herself for finding James so attractive when he was talking about something so serious. Withdrawing her eyes from him, she added:

“Exactly. That's what we healthcare workers are for. Also, something that I as a future gynecologist want you to know is that sometimes our body and mind don’t cooperate during a sexual encounter. Sometimes your body might be turned on even though your mind knows what’s happening is wrong and doesn’t know how to stop it. A rapist can claim the other party was willing simply because their body reacted in a way a body usually does when being touched. That doesn’t give them a right to do what they do.”

“Any questions? Our pamphlets have some useful phone numbers and websites that you can use if you’re ever in a questionable sexual situation.”

Once the pamphlets had been shared, they kept discussing consent with the students till the lesson was about to end.

“Let’s finish this with a happier note: done right, sex is a wonderful thing, and we hope that you got something out of this lecture,” Lily addressed the class once the discussion died down.

Apparently James couldn’t resist an opportunity to crack a joke: “Yep, even if it was simply that armpits can give you sexual pleasure.”

This made the students laugh again, and Lily glanced at her ‘partner in crime’ to see how he was doing. He seemed so at ease in front of the curious students and she couldn’t help but admire James a bit for handling a topic that too many people liked to avoid so calmly, with a glint of humor in his eye.

“Well, that went pretty well, don’t you think?” she asked when the students had left the room and she had started collecting her papers from the desk in front of her.

“Yep, I think so. Although I believe their teacher would have been scandalized had he been listening to our lecture.”

Lily couldn’t help but snort. “I probably shouldn’t say this but I was happy he chose to let us handle it on our own. I think the students were more at ease too.”

“Well, you’re not wrong there. It was honestly great to see this group so active.”

“Yeah, I rarely get this many questions when it’s just me lecturing,” Lily noted.

“Hey, don’t sell yourself short,” James bumped her arm with his elbow. “You did most of the work there and I think they really enjoyed the way you presented things. I was just the goofy comic relief person.”

“No, I think they loved you,” Lily protested. “I swear to God that those two girls that were constantly whispering in the back of the room had a crush on you, they kept staring and giggling at your jokes…”

“You seem to have paid a lot of attention to what the others thought of me,” James pointed out and Lily felt her face heat.

“Yeah, well… Of course I needed to see how they’d react so I’d know if you’re worth having as my assistant in the future.”

She turned to close her bag, mainly to hide her blushing, but before she managed to move far from the desk, she felt his fingers catch her wrist.

“Well? Was I?” he asked with an earnest expression on his face.

“Were you what?”

“Worth keeping as your assistant?”

“Hmmm… I might need a bit more convincing,” she grinned at him, hoping he'd get the hint.

“Oh.”

James froze for a moment, and Lily was almost out of the door when he practically exclaimed:

“Hey, Lily?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I try to do more convincing over dinner tonight?”

Lily could feel her smile widening.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

…

“… And then my cat managed to climb on top of the fridge and didn’t know how to get down from there so my roommate Mary and her date spent like an hour trying to help him while he sang the song of his people. He’s not very trusting of other people besides me. You can probably imagine that Mary wasn’t very happy with me or Merlin the next day,” Lily finished the story of how her cat had once escaped her room and climbed on the top of the fridge while her poor friend Mary had been trying to have a nice date in the kitchen of their old flat.

“Your cat’s name is Merlin?” James asked once he managed to suppress his laughter. “Like the wizard. I like that.”

“Yep, he was named after him,” Lily confirmed.

“Do you have photos of him? I’d like to see what this culprit looks like,” James inquired.

“Cat person, are you?” Lily asked, happy that she had immediately found something to bond over with James.

He shrugged. “Alright, I am, but don’t tell that to my roommate. I’d love to have a cat but unfortunately Sirius has a dog – and he claims he’s allergic to cats – so no can do. Maybe I should kick him out of my place; the guy definitely earns enough these days to be able to live on his own if he wanted to.”

“Maybe he’s just living with you to piss you off,” Lily suggested.

“You know, I wouldn’t be surprised. Anyway, here’s Padfoot.” James showed a picture of a big, black dog from his phone. “I tried to make him respond to the name ‘Elvendork’ when he was still a puppy but sadly that attempt failed.”

“Elvendork?” Lily repeated, unsure if she had heard the name right. “Why would you want to call a puppy that?”

“Why does everyone keep asking that? It’s a nice, unisex name!” James exclaimed with fake annoyance.

Lily put a hand on his arm as a peace offering of sorts. She wondered briefly how touches like this already felt so natural with this man. “Hey, you do you. But please don’t name your future child that, if you’re ever planning to have any.”

“Watch me try,” James declared, something about his mischievous grin only making him more endearing in Lily’s eyes.

“Poor future spouse of yours…” Lily tutted, shaking her head. James only chuckled at her. “Anyway, Padfoot looks adorable! “

“The looks can be deceiving,” James assured her. “I swear he’s capable of just as much mischief as Sirius when he’s feeling like it. Sometimes I’m not entirely sure they’re not one and the same…” Lily laughed. “I’d love to meet this Padfoot one day.”

“Maybe you will,” James noted, and Lily’s mind went to picture him playing with the black dog during a future date of theirs. She found herself wishing that it would happen. “Here, this is Merlin”, she showed James a photo of a handsome ginger cat lounging in front of a fireplace lazily.

“Seems pretty harmless to me,” James observed, referring to Lily’s earlier story. “But I guess it’s the same as with Padfoot. You never know what they are up to. I have to admit, I have a soft spot for gingers.”

He looked up from the photo, his eyes messaging her that he may not be talking about cats anymore.

“Oh,” she said, biting her lower lip shyly. “Yeah, they are pretty great, ginger cats.”

“Not just cats,” James confirmed her suspicion, taking a strand of her hair between his fingers and twirling it there. She hated how he somehow managed to make her feel like she was back in secondary school. She definitely hadn’t been prepared for the butterflies that were currently flying restlessly in her stomach.

When Lily’s brain started functioning enough for her to realize he was probably expecting some kind of response, she eventually asked: “Are you always such a flirt, Potter?”

“No,” he said firmly, looking into her eyes. “Only when I genuinely think the other person is interesting.”

She wasn’t sure what would have happened next if the bartender hadn’t picked that moment to come to ask them if they wanted something more to eat or drink. James lifted the hand he had momentarily set on her knee and ordered simply a glass of water (they had already had a couple of glasses of wine), saying he wasn’t fancying having to work the next day with a hangover. Lily decided to follow suit. “So,” James continued their conversation while he was chewing a nacho he had ordered earlier. “This isn’t exactly the most original question out there, but was there some specific reason why you chose to become an ob/gyn?”

“I think I’ve always considered this branch of medicine as really important. Periods, pregnancy, labor, those are things that about half of the people in the world have to deal with at some point in their life yet somehow I feel they are still horribly overlooked when we are talking about the bigger picture. I mean, you only need to look at what’s happening in the States; politicians make horrible decisions that restrict women’s rights to control their own body, and I personally believe that the lack of information is a huge factor on why that’s happening. There are too many examples where those politicians fail to answer even the simplest questions about for example how periods work. It is fucking maddening and I want to do my part that the people here, like the students we just taught, DO have some information. Well," her tone softened a bit, "obviously as an obstetrician I also get to help babies arrive into this world and that’s something that never ceases to amaze me… But I do consider the info spreading almost equally important because if we don’t do it, who will?!”

“My mother would probably have jumped onto that bar counter over there and yelled ‘you listen to that girl!’ if she had just heard your talk,” James said with amusement. “Her name is Euphemia Potter, she used to be a women’s rights activist when she was younger. Of course she’s still passionate about women’s rights still, just a bit old to participate in the marches and stuff anymore. Anyway, you’re of course right in everything you just said, and to be honest, I feel like I should be the one to jump onto that bar counter right now.”

Lily guessed her expression must have been horrified because James was quick to add: “Don’t worry, I won’t! But I just wanted to let you know my mother didn’t raise me to be a so-called ‘pro life’. My view is: you’re allowed to have your own personal beliefs but what someone else chooses to do with their body should be their and their choice only.”

“Yeah, it’s… there are no words for it,” Lily sighed. Even though she was getting upset thinking about the women’s situation on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, James’ speech had convinced her that she had made the right decision when she had agreed to join him for that dinner. “I’m sorry, this got a bit heavy. I don’t want to ruin this date so maybe we should move on to something lighter. So, why did you choose to be a surgeon?”

“Do you really want to know?” James asked, frowning for some reason.

��Of course I do.” Lily felt a bit confused about James’ reluctance to talk about it.

“Alright, then, but I have to warn you that this isn’t going to be the uplifting story you’re looking for. Nor something heroic like ‘I’ve always wanted to save people’s lives’. I mean, I do, but it started from more selfish reasons.”

“That’s fine. You can still tell me if you want to,” she encouraged.

James exhaled deeply and his hand went to muss his already rather messy hair. “Okay, so. My dad, who was my big idol growing up, died in a surgery when I was 18. It was just before I was supposed to start applying for unis. He had a cancerous tumor in his brain and when they tried to remove it… well, there were complications, and he didn’t make it. I got so mad. Back then I still had a child’s faith; I thought that once the operation was done, everything would be fine and dandy. I knew the doctors had talked to my parents about the possible risks, but I refused to accept such a possibility. So, afterwards, I desperately wanted to understand how something like that could happen. I kept reading book after book, article after article, about surgeries, and cancer, and somehow I wound up in Hogwarts med school. Yep, it was my pettiness and bitterness that got me there.”

“I’m sorry, James.” Lily covered his wrist with her hand. “I shouldn’t have made…”

“No, it’s fine.” He shook his head. “I mean, I’ve had time to come to terms with all this. Maybe… as horrible as it may sound, it may have been the push I needed. Up till then, I had always gotten everything I ever wanted, and just breezed through my life while many around me were struggling. I’m not going to deny that I could even be downright nasty when I felt like it. But that incident was a big wake up call to me, and these days I obviously have nothing but huge respect for the people in my field. It’s tough… really, really tough at times, but when you succeed… it’s worth it.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. It’s the same in my field." Not feeling like dwelling on her personal work issues, she chose to change the topic: "If you don't want to talk about this, I understand, but seeing as you said that your father was your idol, I'd like to know more about him. What did he do for a living?”

“He was a chemist. He loved inventing new things.”

“Really?” Lily got excited. “I used to think that if I hadn’t decided to become a doctor I may have become a chemist instead. What sort of things did he invent?”

At this point James scratched his neck, as if he was a little embarrassed to admit something.

“You may or may not be familiar with Sleekeazy’s hair products….”

“No way! I love their conditioner!” Lily exclaimed. “You have no idea how difficult it would be to get the knots out of this mane without it.” She pointed at her hair needlessly.

“I honestly doubt your hair could look anything but nice, Evans.”

“Thanks, Potter, even though you’re wrong there.” She smiled at him shyly.

“Am not. My hair, on the other hand, can’t be tamed with any amount of Sleekeazy’s. Trust me, my mum has tried.” He combed his hair with his fingers and it stuck in all the possible directions.

Lily snorted. “Hey. I like it the way it is.”

James’ eyes widened slightly. “Really?”

“Believe it or not, yes. I do.” She leaned in to ruffle the dark locks, and was happy to find out they felt surprisingly soft. James closed his eyes at the touch, and Lily wondered if his cheeks had just gotten some extra color.

“Well… I’m glad you like it?”

Once Lily sat back down on her chair, she felt the need to say: “Thanks, James. For telling me all those things. I feel a bit silly now, to be honest, because I may have expected you to have a pretty different kind of answer to my original question.”

Even though she hadn’t elaborated on what kind of answer she was talking about, James seemed to understand: “Such as: ‘the money is good’? At some point I might have said ‘well, it’s a nice bonus’, but years have taught me that money doesn’t bring you happiness. Lame, I know, but it’s true. My dad wasn’t happy because he had money, he was happy despite it. He worked hard, and loved a lot and I suppose he’d want the same for me.”

The guy was attractive, smart, good with his hands, he spoke lovingly about his parents, and so on. Lily couldn’t help but wonder if she was dreaming this whole scenario in her head. “Um, this can be a horribly intrusive question, but how does a guy like you not have a girlfriend? Or a boyfriend?”

James chuckled awkwardly. “I suppose I could ask you the same question.”

That was yet another response Lily hadn’t quite anticipated. “What? Why?”

“Have you seen yourself?” he gestured at her. “Obviously I consider you really pretty, but that's simply the surface. Based on what I’ve heard today I’d say you’re…” he rested his chin on top of his fingers, pretending to thinking hard, “caring, very passionate about things that matter to you, sharp-witted – I only needed to listen to you lecturing today and I can say that – the type who doesn’t give up easily… or have I gotten that all wrong?”

“Oh… I guess I don’t really think of myself that way,” Lily muttered. “I’ve had a few people in my life tell me I’m a freak and way too ‘liberal’… presumably for advocating basic human rights. The worst part is that they were people I cared about deeply.” She thought about her sister and her childhood friend whom she had thought she could trust, but who had shown his true colors when she had started talking about her world views and found out that his were almost the exact opposite. “Maybe on some level I’ve started believing them… I tend to withdraw easily when I sense a potential relationship, because I don’t think I’m worthy enough.”

James covered her hand with his. “I do think you’re worthy enough. Those people were bloody idiots who don’t understand what’s good. As for your question, I'm single because work is keeping me busy and because I’ve had some… bizarre relationship experiences in the past. One only saw me as some magazine cover boy, one cared about my money a bit too much, one was seeing someone else behind my back, one told me we were better off as friends just when I thought it was getting serious… That was when I decided, ‘fuck it, better be single than whatever the hell that was’. Sirius has tried to get me out every once in a while but that’s usually been a waste of time.”

“That’s… too bad,” Lily said sympathetically. “Maybe the right person just hasn’t showed up yet.”

James brushed some strands of hair off his face, his eyes on his glass as he said quietly: “Or maybe the right person shows up when you don’t expect it… Like, at a random school?” Lily’s face was positively burning now.

“Are you saying…?”

“You look adorable when you’re flustered.” James’ face lit up when his eyes met hers again. “Hey, would you like to dance?” he asked before Lily could react to his statement. “This song is great.”

“Oh, sure,” she managed to stammer before he already took her hand and dragged her onto the dance floor.

The song was a fast one and Lily couldn’t help but giggle as James kept twirling her around. He wasn’t the best dancer she had ever met, but she found she didn’t mind one bit; the laughing was worth the risk of getting her toes stomped on in the process.

When the song changed, James pulled her closer and muttered into her ear: “I have a confession to make.”

“What kind of confession?” Lily asked curiously, not quite sure why her heart kept beating that hard only after one dance.

“When we were at med school… I may have wanted to ask you out.”

Lily’s eyes widened at that piece of information. “Why didn’t you, then?”

“Hell, you were way too good for an idiot like me. Top grades, the professors' favorite, always a lot of people around you… I didn’t want to know how I’d feel if you had said no to me. Besides, I was quite sure you must be seeing someone anyway.”

“You seem to have paid more attention to me than I did to you,” Lily observed, her voice apologetic.

“It was honestly quite hard to not to notice you,” James responded, his eyes finding hers. Again Lily felt her heart skip a beat. How was this guy so smooth? “I also don’t blame you for ignoring me; I was obnoxious as hell and I’m not even gonna deny that. Um. That is not to say that I’m some perfect prince these days because that’s far from the truth but you know. I try to learn. Keyword: try.”

“I think you are doing better than you think you do,” she gave him a smile that she hoped was reassuring.

“You know, when you look at me like that…” James started, but didn’t seem to know how to finish his thought.

“Yeah? Go on, you can tell me,” she encouraged.

“Well, I think it will make having to listen to Sirius whine about me ditching him for another doctor tonight worth it,” he settled on even though Lily had a feeling he had probably wanted to say more.

“So Sirius Black dragged you to film his lectures,” Lily chuckled. “I feel like I should have guessed that.”

“Er, yeah. I was supposed to have a couple of days off this week but I may have owed him this for ruining our chances at winning the pub quiz the other week,” he grinned sheepishly.

“Do I want to know how exactly you ruined that?” Lily raised her eyebrow, but her mouth was twitching.

“I’m not so sure you do,” James laughed, shaking his head.

Lily bit her lip to keep herself from laughing as well. She couldn’t help but notice that James noticed the gesture… and her eyes involuntarily went to his lips as well.

“Anyway…” he continued more quietly. “If he somehow knew that I’m thinking about kissing this lovely girl I met thanks to him… he would say that I owe him even more.”

“Yeah?” Lily said expectantly.

“… But I would argue it’s a risk worth taking,” he finished. His eyes were definitely on her lips now and Lily had absolutely no plans to stop him. “Since I may have told a whole class today that spoken consent is hot, I’m going to ask: may I?”

“You most definitely may,” she answered and before she had even properly finished her sentence, his hands had already found her cheeks and she was tiptoeing to give him easier access to her lips. Finally, their lips met. It started almost tentatively, but soon Lily felt her entire body tingling when he sucked and gently nipped her lower lip, a small sigh escaping her mouth. He took advantage of that and slipped his tongue in, and she happily followed suit.

Lily barely even registered them leaving the dance floor. The next thing she knew, they were making out in an empty hallway of the hotel where she was staying, their hands and mouths exploring all the available skin, and Lily could feel the heat build up inside her as he propped her against the wall, the increasing hardness in his pants telling her that he wanted this just as much as she did.

Somehow, they managed to stumble to the entrance of Lily’s hotel room. They both were panting when they stopped the snogging for a moment, and James leaned his forehead against hers.

“I want to let you know that I don’t usually drag the first doctor who happens to stop to watch my lecture into my hotel room during one of these events… But… I may be willing to make an exception this time,” Lily whispered. “That is, if you want to.”

James had an almost mischievous twinkle in his eye when he said: “Hmm… I really need to consider this for a moment…” Lily rolled her eyes. “This lovely woman whom I happened to have a crush on years ago asks me to come into her hotel room…”

“Oh, shut up…” Lily said but her eyes and mouth probably betrayed her.

“Good luck shutting me up. I’ll have you know that I can be rather talkative in the bedroom… or hotel room…” he whispered into her ear, hot air from his mouth tickling it.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” she muttered and claimed his mouth with hers again while one of her hands was fumbling in her pockets, trying to find the card key to the room.

“Yes, it’s definitely a yes.” He smiled against her mouth. She managed to find the card and pulled him into her room. …

Some minutes later, they were laying on the hotel bed with notably less clothes on, facing each other as their hands wandered on each other’s bodies.

“I know we already did our fair share of warming up but… what would you say if we took that to the next level?” James asked, pushing a strand of her hair that was threatening to fall on her face behind her ear.

“What do you mean?” Lily raised her eyebrow. One side of her might have been happy just lying there staring into his hazel eyes, which she could see more clearly now that he had taken his glasses off. The other side of her, however, was burning and demanding his touches, and it became harder to ignore it.

He seemed almost bashful when he said: “I would be interested in seeing if those erogenous zones you kept talking about today are worth the hype.”

“Oh, were you one of those guys who just go straight below the belly after all? I must say, I’m disappointed,” Lily teased.

“Oh, no, no. I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just like you said, different things work for different people, and I must admit I’m kind of keen on finding out what works for you.”

Lily felt like fanning her face with her hand like one of those girls she had seen in the Regency era films. When had she last slept with someone who had actually cared about what she liked? She didn’t remember.

“Mmmh. Go ahead, show me what you got, then,” she encouraged, instead of saying her thoughts aloud. … And did he ever do what he had promised.

He planted a couple of kisses on her temple – a gesture which Lily found surprisingly and adorably soft – before he moved his focus to her ears. She could feel him puffing a bit of hot air into one of them before he gently nipped her earlobe. Then he tentatively nudged the back of her ear with his nose and after finding a spot that made Lily bend her head to give him better access he kissed her there. She had to stop herself from moaning immediately.

Even though Lily had enjoyed the kisses behind her ear, James made sure that he didn’t focus on one spot too long. The nape of her neck had always been one of Lily’s favorite places to receive kisses on and when she felt James’ soft lips there she couldn’t stop herself anymore. Her fingers dug into his hair and her hips thrust against him on their own accord.

“Oh,” James smirked against her neck. “I think I’m starting to get a hang of it. But this is just the beginning.”

His words made something hot pool straight to her core and she had to close her eyes to keep herself together.

“Big promises, mister,” she muttered as her hands slowly moved from his hair to his nicely shaped shoulders.

“Well, I never do things by halves, that’s for sure.” He was now hovering above her, carrying his weight with his arms, and she got a chance to admire him from close. Lily made a mental note to ask him about what kind of working out he did whenever she had a chance, because the guy was /fit/. She herself did also try to make sure she was in pretty good shape because working the long hospital shifts was no joke and exercising did help her keep her mind clear, but James looked like he was a professional athlete. She had to resist the urge to squeeze his biceps and run her hand on his abs right then and there, although given the situation they were in, he probably wouldn’t have minded.

Her ogling did not go unnoticed by James whose grin bordered on cocky, but somehow he managed to make even that look attractive.

“Like what you see?” he asked while his lips brushed her collarbone.

“Hmm. The evaluation is still underway.” She let her fingers lightly trace those exact places she had thought about a moment earlier, and felt his breath hitch on his throat.

“I can make your evaluation a bit easier… or harder, depending on how you see it,” he murmured and bowed down to give one of her breasts a teasing kiss over the fabric that was still covering them.

“Just take it off, will you?” Her frustrated tone made James laugh.

“You are impatient, Evans,” he teased but reached for her back when she arched it slightly so he could untie the clasp more easily. His fingers found it fast and once he had stripped her free from the bra, it was his turn to stop to admire her. The way he lightly bit his lip while his eyes traveled up and down on her body was quite adorable, she had to admit.

“Like what you see?” Lily mocked his voice, but in reality she was trying to hide how flustered she was feeling. It had been a moment since someone had last watched her that way, and something about those hazel eyes that looked almost golden when the light hit them made her even more conscious about herself than she usually was.

“I’m not even going to try to deny that yes, I do,” he said firmly, his cheeks also gathering some color. “You are bloody beautiful, Evans. I’m gonna have to buy Sirius chocolate or something as a thank you for dragging me to that school.”

“Wow,” was all Lily could respond because when James lowered his lip onto her breast, she nearly forgot how to form words.

“I’ve heard that it’s possible for a woman to get an orgasm from touching breasts,” James mumbled as his hands and mouth were working to rile her up even further. Lily buried her head into a pillow to muffle the sounds she was making; he was way too good at what he was doing. “However…” he lifted his head and his hand stopped kneading her other breast, his eyes glinting mischievously when she dared to take a quick look, “tempted as I may be to try, I think we are gonna want to get further than that.”

“Mmm-h” Lily hummed against the pillow, not having anything against his plans.

James took her hand into his and lifted it to meet his lips. Lily hadn’t known before that feeling someone suck her fingers that way could send such sensations down her spine; maybe the researchers who had written those articles about erogenous zones were onto something. And it wasn’t just with the fingers, but also the palms of her hands and that sensitive spot on her wrist…

From there James moved to press open mouthed kisses down her belly and over her knickers, but just when Lily thought he might finally be ready to finish the slow (but wonderful) torture he was doing, he sat up on the bed and Lily shot him a disappointed look.

“Why did you stop?” she asked.

He cocked his eyebrow. “Patience. I believe I said I want to explore as many different erogenous zones as possible and I’m a man of my word.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“One second. I’m going to pick up a couple of things that should be useful in a bit.”

He got up from the bed and disappeared into the bathroom of her hotel room. Soon he reappeared with a damp looking small towel in his hands, stopping to search for a condom from Lily’s work bag, where he knew she still had a few left from her lectures. Lily watched him with mild confusion when he threw those things to the bedside table.

“Umm… I can understand why you see the condom as useful – I appreciate you listening to that part of my lecture, by the way – but what do you plan to do with a wet towel?”

“You’ll see in a moment,” James said. Then he looked at her with a soft expression. “Now, I know I’ve made my intentions pretty clear, but I still want to emphasize that if at any point you want to stop, please just tell me. I want you to feel comfortable.”

“Thanks, James.” She nodded at him. “That’s… good to hear.” She briefly wondered if she should confess a thing that had been in her mind quite a bit that day and finally decided to go for it. “I’ve been in a couple of situations in the past where my ex didn’t…“ She noticed James’ worried expression and rushed to continue: “he didn’t really care about what I wanted or how I felt… That did leave a mark on me. But you’ve already proved today that you do care about how you make me feel…So know that I do want this.”

He pecked her cheek reassuringly.

“I’m really sorry about that bloke. Guess some of us can be bloody idiots. I feel like a hypocrite when I say this but to me sex is something that both parties involved should enjoy and I intend to stick to that mind set.”

“But… we’ve been focusing on me so far…” Lily frowned.

James just grinned. “Trust me, I get a huge kick out of getting off someone as gorgeous as you. And, if that’s what you want, you’ll get your turn with me soon enough.”

“Looking forward to it,” she chuckled before resting her head on the pillow again.

James sat back down on the bed again, near her feet. When he put her feet on his lap, Lily looked up at him with mild confusion.

“You’re really going to stick to your word, huh?”

“Yep,” James popped the ‘p’ with his mouth. Without further exchange of words, he took one of her feet into his hands and began slowly massaging it. Lily was almost going to protest, wishing he’d massage a different part of her body already, but then he found a spot in her foot that felt really damn good and an involuntary moan escaped her mouth.

“That good, huh?”

“I… really wasn’t expecting that. But keep on doing what you’re doing.”

“I will.”

By the time James switched to her other foot, Lily was imagining what else he could do with that magic touch. At that point she couldn’t even make herself care that she was probably making ridiculous sounds. After a rather loud whimper James seemed to decide it was time to move forward and he laid down on his stomach between her legs while his fingers and lips kept traveling up her thighs, eventually stopping to squeeze them. Lily’s hips kept trying to go upwards to find some friction, which James noticed, because he rose and climbed back on top of her. Only the thin underwear was separating them when their hips met over and over again while James was snogging her, her hands clinging to his back like her life depended on it.

“Lily, fuck… we need to slow down a bit or I’ll…”

She, able to feel the hardness against her thigh, understood. James attempted to calm himself down for a moment before he returned back to the space between her thighs. He sucked the skin of her inner thighs, his nose almost nudging the spot where Lily wanted his mouth the most, but again he stopped just when she thought he’d go for it.

“James!” Lily groaned impatiently and she could basically feel him smirk against her thigh. He pressed one final kiss there and got up.

“You’re a real pain, I hope you know that,” Lily muttered, disappointed by the lack of his skin on hers.

“And you’re still impatient. I was just planning to show you what the towel is for.”

“Oh.”

James picked up the towel from the bedside table and returned to her, sitting between her legs again before leaning down to kiss her on the mouth. She hummed happily into it, but soon James’s mouth left hers as he continued his path down her body. The towel was following his mouth, the wetness feeling nice on her heated skin.

At very last James returned to the spot where he had been earlier, looking up once more to ask her permission to remove the knickers, and she nodded greedily. Once James had removed the last piece of clothing she was wearing, he set the towel over her lower abdomen and Lily started to understand what it was good for. That part of her had always been sensitive to touch, and the warm water made the sensation even stronger.

Before fully going for it, James snuck his index finger inside her and tested what kind of movement elicited the strongest reaction from her. Lily thought she shouldn’t be surprised he found it so fast when she started riding his hand before she could stop herself.

“Looks like the lesson didn’t go to waste,” he muttered, his finger glistening with her wetness when he removed it from inside her, only to replace it with his mouth. Kissing, licking, sucking and helping with his hand, he drove her positively crazy, and she wished it would never end.

“Is that good?” He asked against her.

“Fuck, James, what do you think… please don’t stop!”

James responded by deepening his movements.

It didn’t take long to get her over the edge after that. When she could feel the waves of orgasm coming, she opened her eyes just a bit to see the raven mop of hair between her legs, her fingers reaching to comb it, and for a moment she thought she had never seen anything hotter. But soon even that thought vanished from her mind because he reached a particularly good spot and she finally let go, her whole body trembling in pleasure as she came against his mouth.

“Fuck,” she finally managed to say when her breathing slowed down and a satisfied bliss took over. James had crawled next to her and covered them both with the sheets. “I will always ask for a foot rub from now on. And that towel thing? Where did you learn that from?”

“It was mentioned in an article I saw on the internet… I may or may not have gotten curious and looked up more info on erogenous zones after you talked about them during the lecture… Turns out even I still have some things to learn.” He had a mischievous glint in his eye as he said that.

“Well, I’m glad you did your research,” Lily chuckled. “And if you learned something else you want to share… You know I’m always up for some new ideas.”

“Does that mean you want to do it again?” James asked, a mixture of awe and amusement.

“Don’t sound so surprised.” She pulled him closer. “After what you just did… You’re not gonna get rid of me so easily.”

“Oh, I’m scared now,” he teased.

“Besides… I think we need to do something about this…” Her hand wandered down to his boxers, “… situation here.”

For once he went speechless, and Lily took advantage of that and kissed him on the mouth before sneaking her hand inside his boxers.

…

“Good morning, beautiful.” Lily woke up to the feeling of someone brushing some strands of hair from her face. It took her a moment to remember where she was and with whom she was and what exactly had happened. Her first reaction was: ‘Did I really do that? 3 times? With someone I met yesterday?’ Lily usually preferred to know the person she was dating well enough before jumping into bed with them, but she found that in this particular case she couldn’t really care less about that now. She also wasn’t one to believe in love at first sight but she had a weird feeling that this may be the beginning of something much more than just a work acquaintance.

“Good morning, you. What’s the time?”

“Just 6:45. You don’t have to be teaching before 9, do you?”

Lily sighed; the reality of her having to work in only a couple of hours setting in. But she would definitely try to get the best of the time she had before that.

“You’re right, I don’t. Although a shower and a breakfast before that would be quite lovely… Someone had me up doing some exercising till like midnight so I’m feeling a little sweaty… and hungry…”

“Someone had, eh?” James grinned. “Sounds like a lucky bloke.”

“Hmmm… I suppose he did get kinda lucky.” She let her hand wander on his bare chest before resting it on his shoulder. He rose partially on top of her so he’d have an easier access to her lips.

“Real talk, though, Lily.” Something about the way he said her name so softly made her heart melt. “I had a really, really good time with you last night. And I do consider myself very lucky that I happened to run into you here.”

Lily had been hoping she was already past the blushing phase with him, but turned out that wasn’t the case.

“I… feel the same way,” she replied bashfully. Her hand was stroking his neck and jaw now. “Can you imagine? We could have learned to know each other better back in med school… But looks like some force decided that no, now is the time.”

“And I still curse that med school me for not being braver and approaching you. Back when I was a kid everyone always used to say I was brave… Lies. But… you know, I would like to make up for the lost time.” “Oh? How would you do that?”

“I would start by kissing you…” He kissed her. “... and taking a shower with you… and having breakfast with you, preferably here in the bed… after that I’m afraid I’ll have to go find Sirius because otherwise he’ll murder me… I only sent him a really quick text last night saying that I'll see him tomorrow… But before anything else, there’s something I’d like to ask you…”

“Yeah? What is it?” Lily asked, hoping she knew what was coming.

“I’d like to know if you’d like to meet up again next weekend?”

“I already promised Mary we’d hang out on Saturday…”

Disappointment flashed on James’ face for a moment.

“... But… on Sunday I should have time.”

His smile couldn’t have been wider when he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead.

“It’s a date then.”

#jily #james potter #lily evans #jple #marauders #jily fic #jilymicrofics #my fic

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violetsoju · 3 years

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page 30彡★

kageyama tobio · fluff · 3.2k

a/n: came up w this idea based on a tiktok vid of this trend that randomly popped up on my feed (which i can't find anymore T_T) do let me know if you enjoyed it! ❤️

“Hey, Tobio.”

The mop of raven hair doesn’t look up to you, eyes fixated on the jiggly onsen tamago on top of the curry tonkatsu.

“There’s this new trend going on.”

He hums in response, fingers gripping onto a pair of wooden chopsticks, manoeuvring the fragile soft lump towards the spoon. Just a few more steps till being cradled snugly in the deep end of the cool ceramic spoon.

“And we’re gonna learn the moves and film it right here after this.”

His fingers twitch. One of the long pointy chopsticks loses its cool and stabs the tamago right in the core, streaks of yellow bleeding across the crisp golden brown tonkatsu. Its counterpart desperately tries to put pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding, but too much yolk has been lost, and more jabs were made in the frantic rescue mission. Not even the string of ‘shit’ muttered could save the day. So long, dear onsen tamago.

You’re finally met with piercing blue eyes glaring at you.

“No. And look at what you did to my onsen tamago.”

“You should’ve scooped it up with your spoon instead of pushing it with your chopsticks. Common sense much?” You thank the waitress for the hot steaming tempura udon. “Plus, you’re supposed to break the yolk and coat the luscious essence over your rice, unless you’re a freak and eat it in one go.”

Kageyama’s scowl softens when a piece of fried tempura lands in his bowl in exchange for a piece of tonkatsu. A glint of delight gleams in the two pair of eyes at the first bite of delicious food, taste buds tingling in satisfaction.

It’s a rainy Wednesday night. And rainy nights call for warm comfort food to make up for the gloomy wet weather brought by the pitter patter parade of fat rain droplets. So after a spontaneous text message, here you are, with an old close friend of yours, inside a small cosy shop hidden in an alleyway without any prior arrangements.

“And let me repeat myself. I’m not going to do any dumb dance trends with you again.” Kageyama restates his point firmly.

“Come on, you had so much fun the last time! Even Tsukki sent a good job sticker in the group chat.” You reason.

“You mean he enjoyed seeing me almost tripping over my feet.”

“That was the highlight, to be honest.”

He smacks your chopsticks away with his at your attempt to snag another piece of tonkatsu, not giving in into your pout.

“Anyway, I was just kidding. You’re in luck this time because it’s not a dance trend.”

Kageyama raises an eyebrow at you suspiciously, tilting his head to ask you to continue on.

“This time it’s a trend where you grab your nearest book, turn to page 30, and the first sentence will describe your love life. Interesting, isn’t it?”

“Just when I thought you’ve outgrown these ridiculous nonsenses.”

“Says the one who still insists on drinking a box of strawberry milk before matches.” You jab your chopsticks towards his direction accusingly.

“That’s different because it actually works. And it’s good.” He counterattacks by returning your gesture.

“I hate to say this but, point taken.”

He triumphantly snickers as you sigh in defeat.

“Aren’t you curious on how my love life is described?” You question, blowing off the steam from your spoon full of udon.

Kageyama chomps on another piece of pork cutlet, unamused at your question. “If you’re generous enough to share, I’d be honoured.”

“‘He smiles’”

“What?”

“That’s the first sentence on my page 30. ‘He smiles’.” You reply matter-of-factly, taking a sip of your hot green tea.

“What’s that even supposed to mean?” His brows knit in confusion, hands momentarily forgetting the spoonful of curry rice in hand.

“Use your imagination, Tobio. Awaken your romantic cells.” You gesture with your hands dramatically, earning a deadpan look from the boy seated across you.

“Does it mean whoever’s smiling is the love of your life? Or someone who’s always smiling?” Kageyama rests his cheek against his left knuckle, trying to connect the dots together.

“Well-“

“Wait a minute! Don’t tell me it’s Suga-san. Because if it is, I won’t allow it because Suga-san is way too good for you.”

He yelps as you not-so-accidentally dip your chopsticks stained with broth into his green tea.

“Shush, we both know how much Suga-san adores me. And everyone else.” You smugly take another bite of your fried tempura as he frowns in disgust after drinking the now broth infused green tea.

“I guess it’s feeling of love at the sight of his smile? Like feeling all warm and fuzzy seeing him smile.”

“Is there someone who makes you feel that way with their smile?”

You swirl the udon with your chopsticks mindlessly for a moment. “Maybe there is.”

You look up to the pair of blue eyes staring back at you, holding the intense gaze firmly, neither side backing down to break the tension.

“Do I know him?” Kageyama falters, a hint of anxiousness cracks in his voice.

“Since when were you so interested in my love life?” You laugh awkwardly, hoping to conceal your nervousness.

Despite the surrounding bustling chatter, the world suddenly falls painstakingly silent, with the irregular beats of two young hearts thumping deafeningly and out of rhythm.

The raven-haired boy succumbs first, looking back down to his half empty bowl. You continue swirling your bowl of udon, mentally slapping yourself at your answer and cracking your head to come up with something to save the mood.

“Well, I could help to scan him for you, if you want. Boys know boys better after all,”

You snap back up to look at the boy seated across you, eyes not meeting yours. This is a surprise.

“Plus, you can save the tears and snot to yourself because I might not be free to attend to your midnight crying sessions. If it really happens.”

A surge of warmth radiates throughout your body at his words. Definitely not from the hot bowl of udon.

Kageyama still has his eyes on the bowl before him, looking anywhere else but you. He tries to keep himself busy by scooping more rice, groaning as he further destroys the onsen tamago, unaware of the faint blush painting his cheeks. Definitely not from the hot bowl of curry, too.

“Don’t worry, he isn’t a jerk. I’m sure you’ll like him too.” You chuckle, adjusting your chopsticks to pick up more udon.

Oh, Kageyama Tobio, what exactly should I do with you.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽.* :☆ﾟ. ───

Scroll. Refresh. Switch apps. Repeat. Sigh.

You’ve been stuck in this constant loop for the past hour. Instead of getting much needed sleep for the next day, you subject yourself to the chains of the device held in your hand, despite the drooping eyelids and strained arm muscles.

What’s so fascinating about social media anyway? If it’s not friends or random acquaintances posting sinful food pics of ootds, it’d be someone ranting about either their work or love life, or memes you’ve already seen before. Sometimes you wonder if you’ve been casted a spell by social media.

Crying out a yelp as the gadget lands right in your face at the slip of your hands, you massage your nose bridge and forehead from the impact, grimacing in pain. It’s not easy being a slave to social media, huh.

Tossing your phone to the side, you roll over to lie flat on your back, sprawled like a star fish on your bed. A long sigh escapes your lips, eyes staring blankly at the bare celling above. Maybe you should really call it a day.

A beep from your phone tells you otherwise.

Tobio [23:17]

I did it. You owe me one box of strawberry milk.

[23:18]

IMG_20210402_961222

You immediately plop yourself up to sit cross-legged on your bed, tapping on the notification to open the message. As expected of Kageyama Tobio, it was a full-page picture of a book, with a small number 30 on the top left-hand corner. But unexpectedly of Kageyama Tobio too, the page wasn’t from those volleyball books or magazines stacked in the corner of his room. Looks like the mini ramble session you gave him on the way to the metro station worked.

“I know volleyball is the love of your life too, but we’re talking about your actual love life here! So no volleyball books or magazines, go rummage Miwa-san’s book shelf for one random romance novel. Just one. She’ll thank me for taking care of your love life.”

Sliding both your thumbs outwards on the screen to zoom in, your lips press together to form an ‘o’, brows arching in fascination at the first sentence.

She knows.

Interesting.

Your fingers dance across the screen swiftly.

me [23:20]

Ohhh interesting. See, it’s exciting, isn’t it?

Tobio [23:21]

I guess so

me [23:22]

Do you think it describes your love life well?

To actually imagine Kageyama Tobio having something that he loves as much as volleyball is, an odd and foreign feeling.

Tobio [23:24]

I’m not sure tbh

me [23:25]

Well spill the tea so I can help you analyse it

Tobio [23:25]

You swear you would throw punches at him if he was beside you now.

me [23:26]

Tsk tsk, so who’s the girl you’ve been hiding from me

Tobio [23:27]

Since when were you interested in my love life?

The use of your own words against you has you clicking your tongue in amusement.

You were contemplating between a civil or sarcastic remark when a new message bubble pops up.

Tobio [23:29]

But do you think she knows?

me [23:30]

About what?

Tobio [23:31]

Nvm, forget what I said

Seriously? This conversation is by no means, ending like this. You tap on the video icon on the right-hand corner of the screen hastily.

It takes a few rings for the familiar face to appear on screen, face a little too close to the camera, brows furrowed, lips pursed.

“What the heck, do you know what time it is?” Kageyama huffs in annoyance, running his fingers through his dishevelled black hair.

“Says the one who sent me such juicy information at this hour.” You bend your legs up, resting your hand on your knees for a better angle.

He throws his head back exasperatedly, muttering something inaudible along the static noise from the speakers, resting his head on a wooden frame you recognise. He still hasn’t changed his bed that he has long outgrown, complaining about soreness in his legs and arms that dangle off the edge every night.

“How do you expect me to go to bed with you hanging me like this? You have the worst timing ever.” You raise your hands in protest.

Kageyama buries half of his face in his palm. “I shouldn’t have listened to you.”

“But you get a box of strawberry milk from this! It’s worth it.” You gesture a finger gun to him knowingly.

He moves two fingers away from his face, peeking to see you through the screen like a child. Heaving a long, heavy sigh, he shifts his weight to sit up properly, half of his face still cradled in his palm.

“So, ‘she knows’, huh. Back to your question. What do you think she knows?” A tinge of excitement and fear bubble up your throat.

Kageyama avoids your gaze, looking to the side. “Well, I mean, about my, er- my feelings, I guess?”

“You mean your heart.”

The sentence has his eyes back on you, vivid blue eyes clouded by the shadows of dimly lit room.

“Yeah, uhm, well, I guess.” His voice trails off.

“Well, have you told her before?” You keep your voice steady.

“No, of course.” His words come out like a whisper.

“Then how is she going to know without any words or actions?” It comes out like a blunt statement, but somewhere deep down, a wave of relief washes over you.

“But I’m always there for her. Whenever she needs me, wherever she is, I try my best to be there for her,” Passionate flames ignite across the vast blue ocean. “I know something is on her mind when she bites the insides of her cheeks, when she flicks the tip of her thumb with her index finger constantly, or when she plays with the piercings on her ears. I’m not one with words, but I stay by her side when she needs me to, listening to her rambles or vents, or wiping away tears that stain her cheeks soft like mochi.

“I set notifications the night before to give her morning calls during her exams or important days because she tends to snooze the alarm on days like these. I always have extra band-aids ready on hand because she always somehow cuts and hurts herself, which hurts my heart too. Heck, I even learn ridiculous things that would be the death of me just for her, because nothing compares to the sparkle in her eyes when she flashes her precious smile, brighter than the sun that takes my breath away every time. I-”

Kageyama stops midway, face painted with horror as if he just let out a million-dollar secret. Panic flares in his eyes, mouth agape in incredulity as his body rigids, dumbstruck with terror by what rolled off his tongue so smoothly. You wonder if the line got disconnected because he turned into a static image, with a full-blown flustered look on his face.

You wave at the screen. “Tobio, you still there?”

It takes a few seconds for the raven-haired boy to snap back to his senses and regain his composure, coughing awkwardly in attempt to calm himself down. Small patches of blush blooming furiously on his cheeks peek out from his hands covering his mouth.

He looks cute.

No, he’s cute.

He’s always been cute.

“I- Er- Ye- Yeah, I’m still here.” Kageyama struggles to find words from his tad-larger-than-average vocabulary vault that has seem to disappear into thin air.

“Gosh, breathe Tobio, breathe. Come on, take a deep breath with me. One, two, three.”

He exhales deeply at the count of three with eyes shut close, hoping that all his jitters have been expelled away in the air.

“There you go. Feel better now?” Your lips tug up gently as the boy on the screen visibly relaxes, shoulders loosening from the tension, face free of creased lines.

He opens his eyes slowly, blinking a few times to adjust his vision before returning a soft smile to you. “Yeah, I do. Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

A tranquil silence blankets over the both of you. This time, the steady beats of two young hearts thump in tune like a metronome. Two young souls gaze at each other, basking in the calmness and comfort of the sincere warm smiles that felt so much like home; but too proud to admit they were like lovesick fools, brushing off the feelings that were screaming loudly to be heard, feelings that they were afraid to face.

“Do you think she knows?” It’s a genuine question, one that takes a mountain high of courage to come up with.

“I’m sure she does.” It’s a genuine answer, one that takes a of couple hundred meters of might to emerge from the deep ends of the sea to come up with.

And you both hope that you’re on the same wavelength.

“So back to square one. Who’s the girl?”

“None of your business.”

“Another piece of crap from you and I’ll leave without you at the metro station tomorrow.”

“Sorry.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽.* :☆ﾟ. ───

When you reach the designated exit of the metro station the next day, a pair of eyes as blue as the day immediately catches your attention among the crowd, feet shuffling on its own accord towards them. As if there was a detector sensing your presence within him, the owner of the beautiful pair of orbs turns to you, raising a hand in greeting.

Kageyama gives you a smile, a smile that says, ‘I hope my smile makes you feel warm and fuzzy’.

You smile back at him, with a smile that says, ‘I hope you know that I know your heart’.

It’s hard to shake off the pride to be damned, but the two lovesick fools find themselves discarding it slowly, bit by bit with each step taken, together.

【☾】

Kageyama is a creature of routine. He always has his day planned out in detail and hates it when it doesn’t go according to plan, or when something pops out of the blue. But there are a few which he can make exceptions for. So when he receives your text asking for dinner after his training session, he agrees in a heartbeat.

He felt his heart sink deeply in his guts when you said there was, indeed, someone who made you feel warm and fuzzy with their smile. But who was he to have his say when his status was merely just a close friend?

Miwa thought he had lost it when he barged into her room without notice that night, scanning her bookshelf for novels, specifically of the romance genre. It was more nerve-wrecking than retaking exams back in high school with Hinata while flipping through the pages, and it didn’t help much when he finally found the particular page, with the first line inked in black staring back at him in doubt.

He doesn’t know why he sent the picture of the page to you. What exactly was he expecting?

Worse, he doesn’t even know why he started blabbing about how he was always there for you, how much he cares for you, and how much you mean to him. It all just came out so naturally that he could actually score an A+ for impromptu speaking.

But when your eyes were filled with concern while calming him down instead of making fun of him or pestering him for more, something flutters in his mind. Maybe it was from the rush of adrenaline from before, or maybe it was his heart that had leaped out from his chest taking over. He brings up the question once again, with more confidence this time.

He knows you’re not one to lie with your eyes. And he sees the kindness and honesty in them.

A ray of hope flickers in him.

So today, Kageyama musters up every ounce of courage he has, and tells himself it’s now or never: to close the gap he has longed for so long between two hands that swayed side by side. Instead of retreating his hands away when they brush against yours, he curls the tip of his fingers with yours delicately, as if your fingers would melt at his touch.

He hopes that he made the right decision.

And when your fingers curl back, intertwined with his, he knows he has made the right decision, and that his question has been answered.

She knows.

And the fact that he’s the one behind the smile that makes you go all warm and fuzzy, he swears it feels like he could run for miles and miles without running out of breath, soaring even higher than the clouds in the skies. None of the perfect sets he has set in his lifetime could compare to the satisfaction and bliss he was feeling right now.

Because you had set his life ablaze the moment fate brought the both of you together, and you’re his end game.

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#kageyama tobio x you #kageyama tobio x y/n #kageyama tobio x reader #kageyama tobio #kageyama x y/n #kageyama x reader #kageyama fluff #kageyama tobio fluff #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu oneshot #hq imagines #i want a soft boy like kageyama T_T #fun fact: the first line on page 30 for me is actually 'he smiles' too #which i thought to myself 'ah yes my 2d men smiling best describes my love life'#i originally started this for suga but it turned into kags midway hhh #go grab your nearest book and tell me whats the first line of your page 30!

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jamesvanriemsdyk · 4 years

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it's loving my friends hours, folks

hi so. i hit 1.5k a bit ago and while i dont want to do a follow forever (did one for 1k, it took so fucking long), i do want to like. talk about my friends! because i love them. so here we go, time for emo hours here at james jamesvanriemsdyk dot tumblr dot com

to all of the people ive met and talked to in the past few months: i am so grateful to have met you. i am so grateful to be your friend, whether we talk every day or not, and it is such a huge fucking gift to know you and be known by you. i would give you all a little paragraph but then i would get out of control and this post would never end because i have a lot of fucking love in my heart okay??? i love yall a whole hell of a lot ( @goaliehugs @farfrombucky @andrewcogliano @couturriere @brockmcgrinn @boesersson @steadyfreddie @nicolasaube-kubel @alexvass @beauvilliers @girouxes )

to all the mutuals i see in my notifications a lot (and the ones i dont), the new followers and the old ones, all my super sweet anons, anyone who’s tagged a post with a lovely comment or who’s messaged me with sweet words: thank you. for just like - existing in the same timeline as me, and being wonderful, and choosing to be kind even though im a clown. i love you all a lot.

to @heckeyleague @iceburgh87 and @assistantcaptainmitchmarner : im so grateful we still talk, if only every once in a while, and if only through streak snaps. it’s been, what, how many years? four? more? i look forward to snaps of your pets and the little glimpses of your lives i get every day. i love yall to pieces.

and here we go:

@fireworksatdawn : hi jayc. its, like, really hard to believe that ur essay comments on my fics led to this but - im really grateful. just, really fucking grateful. youre so kind and so loving and such a wonderful presence in my life and im so grateful that once c*vid has died down, we’ll, like. be able to see each other? fucking wild. thank you for all the fic convos and the tswift tiktoks, and the memes when im sad. i love you a ton, and im so, so glad you’re my friend. shoutout to philly as, like, a concept for giving me all the emotions i needed to write my heartbeat fics. (im still emotional about the fact that you tell me ‘its late for you, go to bed’ every time i stay up past 10pm. its the being known for me <3)

@pencilhoarders : my favorite flyers art witch. what an incredibly kind, talented soul you are. what a beautiful heart you have, really and truly. i love listening to you talk about your ideas and seeing your art process, and i love that your mind works like mine does, and that we really do understand each other. i love that you’re going after your dream and i know you’ll be incredible at whatever you decide to do post-grad - you’re simply too amazing not to be. thank you for sending me those anons about the canes what feels like forever ago; i am so fucking glad i get to call you my friend.

@majorpenalty : you are, without a doubt, one of my most favorite people ive ever met on this site. your life is fucking wild and you are so funny and kind and resilient, and i never want to not be your friend. i love losing my mind with you for five to eight hours on zoom, i love just being able to just exist with you even though we have half a country between us. you are so intelligent and strong and lovely, and you deserve every single good thing in the entire world. thank you also for sending me those wild ass anons, and for sending me all the videos of you singing trap bunny bubbles and tswift on snap (we have the yellow heart now uwu) and for just - being there and understanding. you are so brilliant and i cant fucking wait to watch you continue to grow and succeed. i love u so fuckin much.

@softgrantaire : hi, alex! kiss the cats and your baby for me and tell your husband i said hey. also, sorry in advance for how long and sappy this is about to be, because im already choked up thinking about it! so: i would not be the person i am today without you. its been a literal month since we became friends, but i literally have never felt more immediately loved or accepted by anyone in my life. you are, probably, the reason i felt comfortable enough to change my name in public; youre the first person i told i was deeply uncomfortable with my name and you changed it immediately, without fucking blinking, and i knew trans friends hit different, but i didnt realize how different it would hit til i met you. and its not just that, either, its the kindness and the trust and the mutual respect, and the pics and vids of jules and the cats all day, its being genuinely excited to see your name pop up on my phone screen, its the voice messages on my way home from work and its the sound of you laugh and the comfort that exists in the little space we’ve carved out for ourselves. i love being your friend, and i love that you’re my friend, and i want us to be that for a long, long time - ill always be the nolpat to your g. i love you so fucking much, dude.

@codyglass : ngl, i typed your url and just like - froze, for a minute. because like. how do you talk about a friendship like this? how do you put it into words? how do you describe all of the laughter and the tears and the years we’ve had together? its the kindness for me, its the communication and comprehension for me, its the unconditional love for me. there isnt a place i feel safer than our friendship; there isnt a person on earth i love like i love you. thanks for all the late nights, all the massive fic concepts/outlines we’ll never write but always find solace in, for all the nolpats roasts, for all the hockey tears and all the real life tears too. for listening to folklore with me for the first time when it dropped, for understanding when i couldnt turn it off for weeks after, for getting the days i send you 30 messages in a row and the days i cant get out of bed. it’s so fucking insane that we’re friends, still - how fucking incredible is it that i met my best friend, who lives 1846 miles away from me, through fucking hockey of all things? youre the best gift life ever gave me, and its such a fucking blessing to be alive at the same time as you, much less to be your best friend. i love you to the moon and to saturn.

#aaaaand im crying lmao #follow forever #kinda? its loving my friends hours babey #j.txt

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nikstersss · 3 years

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Not How To Pass The PLE

Before I go into the main gist of this post, let me give you a small background story. I was a mid-year post-graduate intern in Manila who started in January 2021. I lived alone in our condo unit near the hospital I went to. My usual routine was to get up early, prep, take a short walk to the trike station where I’d take a tricycle to the hospital, go on duty, insert a coffee or carioca break in between, walk all the way home at the end of the day, then maybe have a short study session with a couple friends after dinner or just chill at home. It was a pretty good setup. But then COVID happened. Suddenly, I was a pandemic e-ntern stuck at home listening to Zoom endorsements and lectures all day. At first I was hopeful that things would somehow go back to normal and maybe I wouldn’t be spending the rest of my internship in front of a screen, but we all know how that turned out.

I finished the first half of my internship with the regular year PGIs online. While they were prepping for their boards, I was on my second half with the new batch of interns (that’s probably you, dear reader)—still online. Now you might think that it would have been wise of me to use all that “free” time to start early with my own boards prep and you would be correct. I thought the exact same thing. And trust me, I tried. And failed. Countless times. I won’t even try to justify it. Admittedly, I still think it was a wasted opportunity to read more and make notes, but then again, there’s no use crying over spilled milk. Besides, while it would have been nice and probably less stressful, I still survived without it. Which means that you can, too. So if you’re one of those who’s berating himself because you “didn’t make the most out of your time”, cut it out. You’ll be fine.

Towards the end of my internship, I enrolled in a review center. Despite the asynchronous setup, the review schedule was super tight and the sessions already started while I was still in the middle of final reports and exams. Needless to say, I was already behind on that before it even began. In fact, I didn’t even get to focus on reviewing itself until maybe around early February because of clearance, paperwork, and application stuff. So if you were to ask me how long I really reviewed for the March 2021 boards, I’d say just a little over a month. Kasalanan ko. Wag po tularan. Stressful siya. Nakakaloka.

And even when I did get to really buckle down and do some intense reading, I didn’t follow the program anymore. I tried to catch up at first, but I was already way behind. But I am grateful for all the summarized material because that meant I didn’t have to pore over the mother books anymore. What I will say, though, is that because I didn’t exactly follow the recommended study hours etcetera, I was able to enjoy the whole process because I did it at my own pace. Sure, there was still that dread that maybe I wasn’t on the same level as the others, but I learned to tune those thoughts out eventually. And that’s where goal-setting and discipline comes in, I guess.

The most common question I’ve been getting is what was my day like during the PLE review season. Honestly, I’d like to say I had a routine I followed, but that’s only half-true. While I did have a structure for my day, I rarely followed it exactly. Nevertheless, allow me to share what it would have been like if I did:

Ideally, I’d wake up at 5:00 A.M. then do my morning routine which included prayer and meditation, making my bed, taking a shower, and brewing coffee. And because I’m the type of person who enjoys these mundane activities and slow mornings, I also took this opportunity to get myself in the zone before all the studying that’s to come. I’d plan out my study goals and outline (something you can do the night before, actually) then maybe have breakfast while watching some videos (could be review-related, or those self-motivational vids, or maybe even Korean street food). I’d do whatever I wanted to wake my brain up without stressing it out too much until around 6:30 A.M. By this time, I’d work on backlogs for about an hour and study until about 10 or 11 A.M.—it depends how in the zone I am. I’d prep and cook lunch and then eat while watching Netflix maybe or even play a bit of Fortnite or Paladins until about 1:00 P.M. At this point, I’m pretty certain to be quite sleepy so it’s either I make coffee or tea, or maybe even go out to study at a coffee shop, and then it’s study all the way until 7 P.M. I then take a break to get some exercise, take a shower, have a light dinner, and if I feel like I deserve it, nap for a little bit. At around 8:30, my family usually calls and then we pray the rosary together. After this, I study again, but more of a recall and review session for the day’s progress until about 11:30. I then have my night self-care routine and then go to sleep around midnight.

The main takeaway from the previous paragraph? “Ideally.”

During the first few days of setting up my schedule or routine, following it was already challenging, but still doable. But then the backlogs started piling up and no matter how much I tried to streamline the whole study process, I just couldn’t keep up. I did what I could to follow study habits and schedules, but the setup was falling apart. And you know what? That was okay.

Normally, my type A self would have been so frustrated already with how poorly I was handling my review season. Admittedly, there were a few meltdowns and anxiety attacks as the exam drew nearer, but for the most part, I just let things happen as they did. I still adjusted, sure, but I wasn’t hard on myself for always having to. I kept changing goals when I didn’t meet them (which was probably 80% of the time). There were even instances where I’d finish a handout and then I’d say that okay, I’ll watch an episode for a reward, but that episode became the entire season. While I considered myself to be the most chill reviewee, I also thought I was the worst because I refused to give up any of my wants for my needs. I resisted, of course, but then they’d bug me the entire time I was studying so instead of staying productive, I’d just annoy the hell out of myself. I was probably just lazy and stubborn. LOL. Long story, short, it was a constant battle.

There were times when I felt confident enough to power through the whole thing. I enjoyed the whole process of studying, actually. Making notes and my own ways of memorizing things was fun. I made use of different study strategies, self-checks, and motivational boosters (more on these on a different post). Aside from these, having review-mates who were just a chat away made things bearable. Breakdown session muna tas aral na ulit. And how could I forget all my sweet friends who would send over coffee ayuda every now and then? To me, passing the boards, while mainly should be for oneself and one’s self-actualization, is also about not letting down these people who have been with you throughout your journey.

But it wasn’t always a hyped-90s-movie-transformation-montage kind of environment. Other times, I was just worn out and dejected by my lack of progress. In the already meager time I had to study, I still had plenty of off-days. Concepts just wouldn’t stick and it was disappointing how I’d already forgotten what I just read a couple days ago. It got really tiring even if I was staying indoors all the time. I missed the comfort of coffee shops and the company of study buddies. I missed my family. I wanted to hug our dog. There were days when I couldn’t even bring myself to make coffee and open my notes. I even reached a point where I was sure that I wouldn’t finish reading all the material. (I kid you not, I have handouts I never got to open.)

Yet here I am. Here I am writing about how I survived all that and got those two letters attached to my name. I am not a good example, obviously. There are hundreds better than me and you probably should be taking advice from them instead. I’m simply writing this to tell you that you don’t have to worry. This is all just to ease your anxieties about the PLE. I’m not saying it’s an easy feat that you can just achieve just like that. While I seemed rather complacent, I still put in the work, after all. Admittedly, I know I could have done more, but again, I’m not going to dwell on that anymore. It’s done.

My goal in writing this is to let you know, my dear future doctor, that you’re going to be just fine. Here’s someone who understands the huge disconnect that stemmed from being a pandemic e-ntern. Here’s someone who’s always been doubtful and full of anxieties about the PLE even before she filed her application at the PRC. Here’s someone who constantly prayed that the PLE be moved even for just a month (or kahit two weeks lang masaya na ako nun) up to the week before the exam along with a rising number of cases. Here’s someone who barely has the capability to maintain focus for more than an hour. Here’s someone whose reading pace was literally at 10 minutes per page (yes, I actually timed it and IDK if that’s slow or really slow). Here’s someone who still allowed herself to study at coffee shops and even have samgyup (with proper health protocols, of course) even if she knew she was drowning in backlogs.

My point is that if I managed to pass despite all that, you can, too. My close friends know that I developed a rather funny mentality to ease the jitters as the boards drew nearer. I knew and claimed it for myself that I would already pass. I viewed the whole PLE as just a “formality”--a means for His plans of me becoming a doctor to manifest in this realm. I believed it so much to the point that I thought that no matter what bloopers and slip-ups I have during the test, I’d still see my name on the list of board passers. I’m not saying you should totally ease up and just have a come-what-may attitude. Again, I’m not the model student you should be following here. What I’m saying is to have faith in yourself, your capabilities, and in God. So chin up, Doc. Just a little more ‘til you get to legally practice with that MD at the end of your name.

#nikstersss #PLE

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thisbluespirit · 4 years

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Writing Tag Game

AO3 name: thisbluespirit

Fandoms: my main fandom has always been Doctor Who but I feel v weird about it right now, so: Blake’s 7, Sapphire & Steel, Star Wars Prequels, Spooks (MI5), Once Upon a Time, and a whole load of random other things.

Tropes: honestly, if it seems like a good idea at the time, but accidental marriage, hurt/comfort, time travel, crack-played-straight, crossovers, canon divergence, and no doubt other things I’m forgetting right now.

Number of fics: 576 on AO3 (although there are a couple of vids and 1 podfic in there, plus a handful of fannish origfics, but OTOH there are things on Teaspoon I’ve never brought over and meme ficlets from LJ and Dreamwidth I’ve never posted elsewhere. It’s such a ridiculous no. of works, even though there are quite a few drabbles and ficlets, that I wind up not posting the other drabbles/ficlets out of embarrassment. Like, who has time to read 576 works, think of my Remix authors!)

Fic I spent the most time on: Ha, well, I took 9 years to finish one called Strangers at Fairhurst, but that wasn’t time spent writing it. Probably gift fic for exchanges (and longfic generally for obvious reasons) - many of those took a lot of extra time and research and betaing and things, because, well, it’s a gift. You want it to be special.

Fic I spent the least time on: Probably some of those meme ficlets, because a lot of them were flash fic so speedy writing was part of the point.

I wrote So We Meet at Last for fan_flashworks in about 30 minutes - and then at some point it got recced somewhere and it was my most popular fic for ages, so the moral of the story is don’t angst over stuff, just write Miss Marple dusting Dracula and the world will love you.

Longest Fic: On AO3, it’s The Poison Tree (Dracula 1968, written for calliopes_pen in Yuletide 2016), which makes it look as if I’ve never got to 30k, but ha ahahaha. I’ve been ill since 2011. Before that, I wrote an epic 1980s UNIT series, the final installment of which was 80K +

Shortest Fic: My shortest fic is a drabble, of which I have around 45 on AO3 and while the word count varies on AO3, they were all 100 words exactly in Word, so take your pick.

Most hits/kudos/comment threads/bookmarks: These tend to be exchange fic - by and large that’s the only way anyone knows I exist. (I really miss LJ/DW comms, because a fic announcement on a relevant comm was a really good way to do that and modern fandom has no equivalent and then everyone gets tunnelled into ship tags, all alike.)

hits - Not bad For a First Attempt (actually this might have taken the least time - it was a Heyer double drabble I wrote for, er, wrangling reasons. I’m not sure whether this is true or the hit count has been skewed, but the kudos count is also high, so it might be. Desperate Heyer fans are desperate?)

kudos, comments, & bookmarks - are all The Spirit of St Mary Mead, a Yuletide fic where Miss Marple is a genius loci, which has now overtaken the one where she dusts Dracula. (The universe only loves me when I write Miss Marple!!)

Total word count: 1,371,543 (which does also include c. 300,000 words of origfic for Runaway Tales, although it doesn’t inc. the c.200,000 words of epic 1980s UNIT adventures, so I suppose it’s only c.100,000 out.)

Favourite fic I wrote: argh, idk, I do like quite a few of them still, but it’s all so dependent on mood and how recent it was and if people commented or not (because if they didn’t, I was obv. wrong about the quality).

I usually answer this with Salt of the Earth, and I suppose it’s as reasonable as anything else and very me. It’s about Mrs Tyler from Doctor Who’s “Image of the Fendahl” and how her life went, living by a time rift, fighting evil with folk remedies and rock salt and being 100% better than Torchwood while making a lot less fuss about everything. So I think it’s still one of the ones I like.

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: I don’t want to rewrite anything! I have moved on. I’ve written a lot of canon divergence AUs since somehow falling into SW Prequels this year and I think there are a couple of those where I thought a lot about where else they might end up, although the moment may have passed, certainly while I’m exhausting myself on exchanges!

Share a bit of a WIP or a story idea you’re planning on: Oh, my main WIPs at the moment are for hurtcomfortex so I can’t. But, other things:

I do have a work that I need to check over a bit but which is otherwise a complete draft, which is something I originally wrote for (I think) NYR 2017 but either I was too tired to run with it or I wasn’t sure the original recip would like it, but ANYWAY, it’s Department S and sort of Annabelle/Stewart/Jason but also not:

“Yes, well,” said Annabelle, putting the book down away from her work, “perhaps I would have done if I’d been home any time in the last forty-eight hours, but you asked me to feed Auntie half the London Phone Book to analyse. I’ve been up all night dealing with the ensuing attack of indigestion.”

Stewart perched on the edge of the desk and leant over to kiss her cheek. “Sorry for the inconvenience. Any results?”

“Smith is still the most common surname by a significant margin,” said Annabelle and then put her hand to her head and slumped back in the chair. “The rest is just gibberish, I’m afraid.” She reached out for the Mark Caine novel. “As is this, I imagine.”

Otherwise, I am hoping to be done with hurtcomfortex soon, write my AU meme ficlet prompts from my Dreamwidth flist, and then maybe do intobar because that’s always one of the most fun ficathons.

And somewhere in my notebook I have a crossover drafted out for genprompt_bingo where Barry Allen meets Henry Mills, because I thought that’d be a thing that should happen once (probably pre-canon for OUaT).

But, you know, I need to finish typing up this stupid exchange fic that has gone LONG again and I don’t even know if the recip will even want it... (I love exchanges, honest, but... :lol:)

tags: @pers-books @allegoriesinmediasres and um I think @captain-aralias did most of the other people I know. @luthienebonyx maybe?

#writing #fanfic #the secret to fame and fortune: write Miss Marple #apparently #idk

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dilfweyoun · 4 years

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imma put this out here and say- i think i know some reasons why i like (& relate to) certain ops more than others. i'll make a list.. so sorry if it's a bit of a read!

Attackers:

•Glaz - he is an artist/sniper. i used to be an artist, and really love snipers lol

•Blitz - it's canon that he uses humour to make people feel better in bad situations. i personally use humour like that as well. (one of the reasons he was my main, cause of his voice lines)

•Montagne - the mountain, the shielder, the protector. he's all of them and more. irl, i'd be considered like him as well. you can rely on him. he has your back (and front!)

•Thermite - we all know he has a thing for nukes/fire/blowing things up. his elite makes him have fire come from his hands! i like fire and explosions n what not too ;)

•Thatcher - y'all already knew i was gonna have him on here. lol anyway. he has an interesting backstory (family was more or less dockworkers), and me personally coming from Alaska- i understand it more. he also has a bit of an aversion to electronic stuff cause it's considered a crutch. while yeah, i use a computer/phone a lot- i can go without them for a decent peroid of time. lived half of my life without them in the first place haha

•Buck - ah yes, my French-Canadian boyo. i think what i like (relate?) the most is- he's from Canada and has a dmr. irl- my grandpa is from Canada and i've used guns similar to a dmr. also Buck was the first dlc op i got (had Ash, Rook, Pulse, & Buck for my first couple weeks of having the game)

•Capitão - we seen his elite reveal, right?👀 looks exactly like my late father. except my father was an Italian/Irish-American. not from Brazil haha

•Hibana - uhm. all i really can say is, she looks a lot like my Alaskan-Hawaiian-Japanese friend. like..it's a bit uncanny😂

•Jackal - mah Spanish boi has insomnia..well, so do i. that's one of the main reasons i can relate to him..also losing family members

•Nøkk - we don't know what she looks like. little to none of my friends know what i look like. when her HEL is active, we can't see her on cams. i'm rarely in photos as well👀 spooky

•Kali - uHhHh. remember what i said about Glaz with the sniper thing. same can be said with my gril over here

towards the end there, i wasn't getting that descriptive haha. sorry bout dat :p anyway

Defenders:

•Tachanka - pRaIsE bE! iT's ThE lOrD!! i'm joking..or am i? ;) in the past, my friends and i (from Alaska) would give each other roles for our 'roleplays' we'd do..mostly on Minecraft haha, and i ended up getting the "Lord" role. so it stuck for awhile lol

•Bandit - dis boyo is like a human Pikachu. i'm a sucker for lore...oof. so when his elite came out, i got interested and immediately bought it haha. we know the story behind it, it's what he looked like when undercover. and i've had some experience doing undercover work. not government official, but still undercover. yknow?

•Jäger - everyone knows he's a pilot, right? whale, some of my family was in World War II and were pilots. it's one of the reasons why i'd say i can sorta relate to him. also the whole mechanic shtick haha

•Doc - for the longest time, i wanted to be a nurse, but my absolute fear of needles has ruined it. (also brain surgery vids make me sick oof :v) but our lil French boi here makes up for it. so i'll play him when i'm in the mood to be a medic person

•Castle - can we get some love for my guy? if i'm being honest tho- he has to be one of the more useful ops, even if people rarely play him. tho he was used a lot when ranked still had hostage mode. cause you use his barricade on the one room in Kafe👌🏻

•Smoke - we knew i was gonna make a bit for him too👀. a bit of a fun fact- i didn't unlock him until Para Bellum / Grim Sky i believe? (got game at end of White Noise) anywho, he's reckless and a thrill-seeker. i'd have to say, i'm a bit of both as well. and we know of his spawning lines, one of them being "This reminds me of the time my uni burned down." which my high school didn't burn down, but the 5th floor of it was destroyed (and parts of the other floors). so i'd say, i somewhat relate haha

•Ela - i don't got much to say other than she looks like my mother. especially in her leaked elite. i showed it to my mother and she agreed. the hair structure, hair style, hair colour (more specifically the Twitch Prime headgear hair colour)

•Vigil - he doesn't know much about his family. and i could say the same as well. i don't know anyone from my late father's side. it wasn't until recent that i found out i have a half-sister and half-brother. both of which..don't know about me

•Maestro - he's Italian. i'm Italian. b o o m (i would've added Alibi as well, but she's actually from Libya)

•Kaid - how do we pronounce his name again? "cayde/cade"? "kai-eed"? however you wish to refer to him as. i took a liking to him because of Kincaid Park in Alaska. the resemblance in names were too similar imo, so whenever people speak of him. all i can think about is the park i'd go to every winter. (almost died there once, but that story is for another time lol)

•Mozzie - yknow..we share the same birthday, except he's 18 years older than me.😅 he's a daredevil and also reckless. and like i said with the Smoks bit, i'm also reckless!

•Warden - kek, his last name is McKinley, and me being from Alaska. his last name reminds me of home. cause we have a mountain called Denali (pronounced as 'den-al-ee', NOT 'den-awl-ee'. thank you very much!!) or known as... Mt. McKinley ;)

all in all, this has been a long post. i'm sorry for all the reading you gotta do. but if any of you want me to post similar things like this, i will! :)

side note- i realise now that i made a lot of mentions of my home..heh, for those who don't know, i lived in Alaska for the first 14-15 years of my life. then i moved to Tennessee (17 now). big oofs

edit: cause i'm lazy af, this post took 2 hours to make instead of less than 30 minutes

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troubleisfree · 6 years

Text

this is going to be like a very long, detailed, and mostly my personal observations and notes. as it was my first time seeing neymar and the brazil nt in person, i want to remember everything i can while its still fresh. it was a very exciting and at the same time surreal experience because i see those people all the time on tv games and now there they were few feet away from me...

i took the photos and videos. i am usually pretty good at that but i guess the excitement got the better of me because they did not come out fabulous. tumblr is being stupid with not letting me upload more then one video in a post, and i wanted everything together, so i ended up putting them up on youtube.

the hotel 9/3/2018.

so first i went to the hotel (very close to where i live) on monday 9/3. as it was labor day, i was off work and at a bbq/pool party abt 10 miles from home for the day. brazil nt was scheduled to leave the hotel for their first training at 4pm so i left the party early and, after some traffic drama, made it to the hotel little after 3.40pm. there were not too many people so i had a decent view but i also moved around a bit. some of the support staff was coming out already. a few minutes later, firmino was the first i saw, he waved and went straight to the bus.

then a group of marquinhos, douglas costa, fabinho etc came out together. only marquinhos paid any attention to the fans, waving and smiling but didnt stop.

then another group, including casemiro.

then alisson came out. he was really sweet, smiled, stopped with the fans, signed stuff. interacted the most of anyone else with the fans.

then another group - i think richarlison (idk him really), filipe luis, thiago silva. thiago was just as nice as alisson, stopped with the fans, signed stuff. he looked to me a bit shorter irl then on tv...

willian came out alone next.

at this point, it was almost 4pm, my excitement had totally built up and i was so anxious to see my boy ney. i started thinking that maybe he will get there separately cuz i hadnt seen coutinho and tite either. but there he was! coming out last with barely a minute to spare before 4pm (the timestamp on my photo is 3:58:59pm lol). he was the very last one to come out, chewing on something, with his typical swagger. he waved but didnt stop and the bus left as soon as he got on. he looked just as hot in person as on tv, the cameras dont lie lol. really handsome and very very sexy! i mean, i expected it, i have seen his photos lol but omg he looks so damn good you cant help those dirty thoughts! i felt like an absolute fangirl! this is neither here or there, but he looked to me a little bigger then i expected. just kinda...fuller?

i only took one photo of him cuz i wanted to look at him with my own eyes rather than thru the camera ;)

it was such an incredible experience seeing neymar and the rest of the guys in person so close that i was shaking after! like for real my hands were shaking, my legs were shaking. and i couldnt stop grinning for a good half an hour after. i went to the boardwalk to calm down a bit and just absorb the experience. people passing by probably thought im crazy or reading love letters on my phone or something cuz i just couldnt stop grinning but i didnt give a flying fuck what they were thinking - i had just seen neymar!

my notes and impressions:

1. OMFG I SAW NEYMAR FROM FEW FEET AWAY. just that, my brain was really way too frazzled to process any other impressions lol

the game 9/7/2018

so after some c. drama, despite my initial hopes, i had accepted that i am not going to go to the game. and then the day before i find out I AM GOING!!! i was so freaked out with excitement lol!!!

getting there was so frustrating! first i had forgot to charge my phone before leaving work so i only had like 30% which was nowhere near good enough for my plans of copious pics and vids. so i had to run into a bodega to buy a charger for the car. then for some complicated reason we had to leave from the ues and fucking DRIVE. crosstown. on a friday. at 6pm. straight thru freakin time square with its gazillion tourists. on top of rush hour. even though the schedule said 8pm, the tickets said the event starts at 7.30 and i wanted to be there early to see the warmups and at 7.02 we were still not even inside lincoln tunnel ffs! i was FUMING and ready to jump outta the car and start yelling at the other cars to get a goddamn fucking move on i got places to be people to see! just ugh. so frustrating. the only upside of taking so long to get to the stadium was that by the time we got there my phone was almost 100%...

anyway, finally at 7.25pm we got there and thru all the checks etc (my joke of a miniature purse was shown as an example to another girl with a slightly bigger purse and praised by security for being perfect size which pissed me off because of their dumbass rules it had is smaller then my regular WALLET ffs and it barely even fits my phone so in no way is it a ‘perfect size’ except maybe for dolls or tiny aliens. but they had the stupid clear bag / tiny purse rule in effect and all i cared at that point was getting in so whatever. still, fucking terrorists. obviously also for more important reasons than just being the cause of my having to have a tiny purse but yeah fucking terrorists).

the stadium was buzzing already. apparently the 7.30 start was for the warmups so perfect for me. this was the view from our seats.

when we got to our seats, the usa team was out already. and the canarinho was interacting with fans. and then brazil came out.

youtube

ney was warming up with coutinho

after stretches, he did some practice shooting. this one didnt go in.

after that the team went back inside and the canarinho came behind the barriers to interact with the fans (photo below especially taken for a.)

time for the teams to come out. for some reason the tunnel was on my side of the stadium but the benches were on the other side and they lined up there for the anthems. (again, for a.)

youtube

then the us anthem and, since we dont do things here on a small scale, the flag rolled out was the size of the whole stadium lol

in the first half neymar was playing in front of me. in the beginning of the game i took a few photos and then i stopped because i wanted to watch the game and see with my own eyes not concentrate on the phone... still, here they are

here is the penalty. i didnt catch it go in because i was looking at it happening rather then my phone. i also removed the sound cuz there was screaming when it went in lol. it was a VERY soft penalty btw...

youtube

my notes and impressions:

1. it was a friendly so not surprisingly, it was not an edge-of-your-seat game. still brazil dominated the crap out of the usa team. the difference in class and quality was glaringly obvious.

2. it was strange not supporting my country’s team. but only when i thought about it. otherwise my soccering heart belongs to brazil 100%, without a doubt.

3. watching a game live vs tv: both have pros and cons. again, after watching every week on tv, seeing these guys live in person is simply incredible. just absolutely surreal. like, they are moving, running, kicking right in front of you. you can hear the ball being kicked. feel the tension. see what they are doing without the ball. watch their interactions away from the camera. feel the power of the crowd. its just so much more immersive. at the same time, watching at home the curated game content is... convenient. you get closeups. you get facts from the commentators. your bathroom is nearby (i did carefully time my liquid intake that day to avoid venturing into stadium bathrooms and thank god it worked lol). so imo, watching a game on tv is not really that much worse then watching it live. i always felt like i am getting a completely filtered version on tv and it is filtered but it is not horrible. yes, you are missing out on stuff but its not a total loss.

4. the stadium was about 40% full, 32k of 82k capacity. but it felt more like 2/3, probably because on the other side many sections were not even open so most everyone attending was spread out in one long side and the two goal sides.

5. brazil fans were out strong! i’d say about 70% of the people were brazil fans, and of those about 90% had on brazil jerseys. yellow galore lol. the usa fans were constantly chanting but when the brazil fans decided to make the effort they drowned them out easily and completely!

6. the usa fans were in the section behind one of the goals. throughout most of the game i thought oh cute they are constantly singing their hearts out supporting their clearly outplayed loosing team. then they did iceland’s viking chant. yes, it is a cool chant but its iceland’s. idk why so many have been plagiarizing it! first portugal did it in the wc, then i saw another, and now the american outlaws (the usa ultras)... let iceland have its thing people. i did not appreciate it but no big deal. BUT then they did something that pissed me off - few minutes before neymar was substituted in the 80 min they chanted fuck neymar. i was not best pleased to say the least! lick sweaty balls jealous motherfuckers!

7. we did a wave that went around the stadium like 4 times!

8. there was a small group of 13-14yo girls right behind us that whenever ney touched the ball or looked our way screamed ‘neymaaaarrr, neymaaaaarrrrrrrr, vaiiiiiii, vai neymaaaaaaarrrrrrrr’. one girl in particular was especially shrill and vociferous in her dedication to ney. no sense of decorum whatsoever lol. my bf was smirking at me and was like why dont you go sit with them. i on the other hand was thinking that while i wouldnt go sit with them, if some of my tumblr girls were here.... well those girls wouldnt even know what hit them!

9. i would definitely go to a game again!

10. while the seats we had were really good, i wish there was an option to be even closer and still see the whole pitch. then again, for me it would probably only qualify as ‘close enough’ if im allowed to run along the sidelines lol. but then i wont really be able to watch the game. (hey maybe i can hang from the skycam hahaaaa!). yes, i am a neymar fan but i am also a fan of the game so i want both. i did not have any input in the choice of these seats but i think it was a good trade off - the closest where you can both see the guys and actual game. if i have to pick the tickets for the next game (hopefully i will go again some time!), i would be tempted by the lower levels but the barriers are pretty high so... i would probably go for the same - second level first row.

11. there was a guy sitting next to me with his date and he was trying to be all knowledgeable and impress the girl but half the stuff he was telling her was wrong lol! he kept pointing to douglas costa and telling her its firmino. i was cracking myself up listening to him talk complete bullshit but with such grand authority about technical game stuff.

12. at some point a loose ball ended up into the stands, some guy caught it, and 2 min later security came to take it away from him :/ why not let the guy just keep the ball?!? stupid. if it was me, i’d have made a fuss, maybe pretended that it hit me in the face and threatened to sue the stadium cuz they have not ensured the spectators’ safety or some such crap lol. see if they dont let me keep it to avoid a lawsuit.

13. the canarinho (for a.) - he was really great! interacting with the fans, dancing, hugging fans. really a fantastic mascot and absolute joy to watch! during the halftime he was out on the pitch, doing keepie uppies (in those shoes too!!! showing his brazilianness lol), and kicking balls into the stands

14. i was totally impressed by neymar. it was just so obvious how good he is and no, not because i am biased, which i admittedly am. i expected him to be good, duh, but to see it so clearly was amazing. he is not a fluke, he is the real deal. he stands out among even such quality peers as the rest of brazil nt! just something in the way he interacts with the ball, the way he moves, ‘sees’ his teammates without looking, turns on a dime, does the unexpected. i dont think he ‘thinks’ or ‘calculates’ at all his moves or that it is just a lot of practice, i think it is pure instinct in the moment, i.e. phenomenal natural talent. even though this was not one of his greatest games for sure, he just looked... special and different from the rest. most of the brazil players were displaying their clearly high quality but there is just something unique in the way neymar plays. even if you dont know who he is, what teams are playing, anything at all, you’d still pick him out and know that there is something extraordinary about this guy. if you unfocus your eyes so you see just all same yellow shirt figures, you would still be able to pick out which one is neymar. he did a bit of his skills and tricks and of course i wished he had done more. what i took away from watching him play live was that, in this average game, he looked as good playing live as he has in the past when i have watched his great games on tv. i dont know why. but watching neymar play live was an experience of its own. it felt like his average ‘live’ performance is as good as his great ‘tv’. i cant even imagine what it would be like watching one of his great performances live. while i dont feel im loosing so much watching games on tv vs live as mentioned above, i definitely feel that watching neymar in particular play live is on another level and im missing out when i watch him on tv instead of live. he is absolutely worth the price of admission. i was so disappointed in him for his wc antics but thats in the past now, and i have been reminded how right it feels to be his fan, not just for the nice things he does for kids/charity, his fun personality (and lets not forget the good looks, and oh boy they are SO GOOD lol) but his undeniably outstanding talent on the pitch. his game is just incredible. i hope he keeps healthy. i hope he gets his temper under control not just for a few games but for good. and i pray he always has the freedom to shine like he rightfully can. i am rooting for him to get the appreciation and acknowledgement he deserves, unadulterated by behavioral issues or personal drama.

ok, imma stop now. this post is huge, even by my standards.

#brazil nt #brazil vs usa #neymar #thiago silva #marquinhos #alisson #filipe luis #willian #roberto firmino #9-7-2018 #game

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bapwoo · 5 years

Text

Ravi in Vienna

aka guide how to be the worst organizer of concerts with a speck of how to be awkward to the maximum level

It was another Monday evening at work, but next to me was resting a bag. The bag was packed to Vienna. Yes, I am gonna see Ravi. The Ravi from VIXX. The Ravi who is VIXX bias and one of my husbands lol.

Note: Links to some vids or photos will be seen below this long post lol (sorry)

Time when we were leaving: midnight Time when we should have arrived: 4:30am Time when we arrived: 4am Time when toilets were opening: 5am Time when first food place at bus station was opening: 5am Time when McDonald’s was opening: 6am Time when we could check-in at apartment: 3pm Number of hours slept: 0 Number of people speaking German: 0/3

Bus arrived earlier. Of course, it arrived earlier when first place where we could stay at was opening at 5am. But right next to the bus station there was huge train station which was opened, so we did not have to freeze outside; we were gladly chilling there with homeless people – we felt like one of them tbh. The worst idea was to go to the bathroom. I checked my face in the mirror – bloodshot eyes that it looked like I had too much of pot, and on the chin two huge white pimples, and almost the rest of face covered in red pimples; just a perfect timing, right?

After spending two hours on train station, we moved to McDonald’s to have some breakfast (last time I had breakfast on McDonald’s I was in my early teenage years… memories). We were waiting there until 9am, and then my friend got message from the place we were staying at that the keys were under the mat. We thought that maybe it will be prepared sooner, and we can have some nap. So we decided to go to the venue (our place was 5 mins away), check if there’s some numbering system and then check the apartment.

At the venue there was one girl. She asked us if we went to the concert and then pulled out a notebook with numbers (BLESS THIS GIRL!!! SHE ORGANIZED IT WHOLE BY HERSELF AND IF IT WASN’T FOR HER THE CONCERT WOULD BE A TOTAL MESS!! AND I WAS SO HAPPY THAT I COULD WRITE HER AWKWARD THANK YOU MESSAGE ON TWITTER AFTER THE CONCERT THANKING HER AGAIN FOR EVERYTHING). We had to write there our names and get the number. So, we write them down and me and my friend got 10 AND 11!!! (my other friend got number 1 for VIP) “HELL YES! MY FIRST AND LAST TIME BEING IN THE FIRST ROW FOR A CONCERT!!!! I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO SEE RAVI FROM FIRST ROW OMFG!!!!! THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING!” I could not believe that we were this lucky. That I was this lucky to actually end up in first row for RAVI’S concert. It must be something which can get fucked up…

After that we went to check the apartment. Excited seeing ourselves sleeping in bed/couch was pushing us forward. Sadly, when we arrived there nothing was ready, so we left again and went for a bit of sightseeing in our sweaty business clothes, smelly, hair messed up and fighting strong wind (No we did not meet Ravi. But after his ig post, we found out we were lost pretty near the place he was at). The funniest part of our sightseeing was our phones – three phones and each was pointing different direction to the same place lol (we got stuck at one place for one hour until we figured out the right direction to the place).

After few hours Fresh from shower and finally looking like people and after a long effort of trying to cover the pimples (unsuccessfully), we went to the venue. We lined nicely, no problems, there were still new people arriving and getting numbers. Everything was okay. I was suspicious about it. 30 minutes before wristbanding, Young Bros posted update on fb event saying THAT THE VENUE WAS CHANGED I was so damn mad and was glad I was in foreign country and just few people could understand my swearing lol. Anyway, it got somehow settled. We moved to different venue, there were still some chaotic moments, but it was p okay. Problem was the venue itself: Apparently no backstage – that meant Ravi wouldn’t have any privacy to prepare for the performance The capacity of the venue was small Another funny thing happened after few mins, when they told us that Ravi hadn’t arrived yet (it was past 6pm and during that time they should have already let vvips in…). It meant Ravi would arrive and go past us to the venue (AND HE DID HEHEHEH). That also meant that he needs to do a soudcheck. So… we were freezing next hour and half outside. I had to pee, was hungry and frozen. After 7pm they started to let us in. I could finally unfreeze. I was also able to keep my water – they did not take it from me, but they took it away to those who had it in bag. After another time (full of other ?!?!?!??!?! moments – when the girls had no idea what to do with albums which were right in front of them and just… a lot of other things) they told us that photo with Ravi would be in 6 people and WE WOULD BE SITTING ON CHAIRS AND RAVI BEHIND US (what???) and then we would put coats into the cloak room. I was already so mad at the organization that I wasn’t even nervous meeting Ravi lol. So my fear of not being able to say anything to Ravi died out the moment I saw him lol (… do not expect any long sentence from me or anything deep lol… I was just awkward as always lol). Me: [sees him] Ravi: [looks at me, smiles and says] “Hi.” Me: [grins like an idiot, smacks his hand (OH GOD IT WAS SO DAMN SOFT… CAN I HOLD IT??) and way too enthusiastically says] “HIIIIIIIII!!!” [sits right in front of him] Me: [realizing I do not want holding my coat on the photo] Me: [decides to put it behind me] Me: [putting the coat down mumbling to myself and partly to him] “I am just gonna put this here for a sec.” Me: [realizing that the coat would be seen on photo so I stopped and thought about an alternative] Camera guy: [starts to count down the seconds for photo] Me: [panicks, then apologize to Ravi for doing this and throwing coat past him to the corner of the room] … So yeah…………………

Anyway… we thought that after the photos there will be a cloak room for coats (we were told to put them to the cloakroom). BUT THERE WAS NONE. My friend asked about the cloak room and they told us that it is up the stairs. BIIIIIIITCH! YOU SAID THAT WE CAN PEACEFULLY PUT OUR COATS AND BAGS TO THE CLOAKROOM!! My friend started faster than Bolt to get the coats to the cloakroom and I was trying to save her spot in the first row. Sadly, we ended up in second row. The venue was very small. There was no barrier between us and stage. The stage was only like half meter up the ground and barriers were created from round tables (but with width less than one meter). The whole stage was prolly 5x3 square meters big. Can you imagine it? Ravi… person who always performed on big stages and who have definitely never performed at such small venue with fans hair away from him. I felt bad for him… (even tho... again bless Starlights all around the world that even in such situation they weren’t grabbing him and let him have that little of space he had) But t must have been such weird feeling for him. On the other hand I guess it could have been good experience for him. Because he definitely won’t have chance to perform on such place again lol. Really it felt like I was attending some underground concert and not Ravi’s concert.

I guess I will slowly wrap up my story. It would take another 1334 words to describe the whole concert. Just want to write down few things: Guy telling us before the concert started to stay hydrated - after they took away water........... First few songs Ravi looked so mad Wanted his mic to be louder but they ignored him which made him mad even more Mad Ravi is quite attractive His thigh in ripped jeans was the first thing I noticed when he arrived and then kept looking at that smooth and fine thing for a minute... I wanted to touch His hairy knee was also very adorable His whole self just screams FINE MAN He was most adorable when he was dancing I wanted to smooch his cheeks... his face looked so soft Oh man he was so happy while dancing and I was happy for him Where Am I is the banger Cold bay is the cutest rapper who exists in the world, but also the rudest one And his rap is no joke (check his sound cloud) Ravi talking in English with great accent, cutely reading English phrases he had on the screen before him Seriously… people should stop recording whole concerts and focus on the artist and enjoying the concert… Ravi spilling water at us SHIRTLESS RAVI HAPPENED Then when he leaned on the table to us I literally felt his heating body (sorry but I had to write it there bc it was so WHOA) Ravi taking some cameras and recording himself on them Never looked at me during the whole concert (’:

After the concert, we went outside to get fresh air. We crossed the road to wait on the other side, then decided to wait for Ravi to go back to hotel. We were the only ones sitting on the other side of the road. And when he got into car and leaving ISTG he turned and waved at us when we were waving at him… and I was happy that last time possible, he finally registered my person (:

Nirvana (with my stupid voice singing the chorus) Lean On Me - Ravi slowly preparing us for what will happen soon later (aka throwing away his shirt) The banger song Where Am I with Cold Bay and Ravi recording himself on phones and lot of screaming bc of that (btw I was not screaming lol)

Those who cannot see vids or do not want to watch them...

hehehehhehe

#ravi #vixx #ravi solo concert #ravi in vienna #I am telling you... I felt so bad for him #like... this must have been so uncomfy for him #like... not that he would hate fans this close #just... if I were him... I would be p stressed #your first solo tour in Europe... and your 3rd concert you are just... thrown to very improvizated stage #totally different from those you have ever stand #with people so close to you #how to interact with them? they so close?! it is so weird...#maybe I would be the only one thinking this lol #anyway... what also made me mad was all those fans with phones over their heads and recording him... like... you are so damn close to him...#... enjoy his amazing songs #jam to bomb or do the dance #take one or two short vids but... pls do not have your phone on whole concert #the venue was small and like... him seeing only phones up high and few people jamming to the songs #I felt bad :((((((((#also... vvip tickets included meet and greet (which did not happen)#pre-signed polaroid photo (which was not polaroid photo... only printed polaroid photo on paper)#priority to buy merch (which wasn't there lol... only those few CDs which they did not let us buy before the event)#................ clap clap clap young bros.... you could not fuck it up more #but bitch... I LOVE RAVI AND I HOPE HE WASN'T THAT UPSET AND I HOPE HE DECIDES TO GO HERE AGAIN BUT PLS WITH OTHER COMPANY THAN THEM... TY #wonshik #kim wonshik

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togetherinspirit7 · 7 years

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[FAN ACCOUNT] 170304 INFINITE Fan Gathering III

******* WARNING: Super long post ahead! Like super duper extra long post this time! We apologize ahead of time!

Hi everyone! We know it’s been such a long time since we’ve posted anything besides asks, so we first want to thank you all for your patience and understanding! We’re not too sure why, but life has been kicking both of our butts simultaneously for quite some time now. Also, sorry it’s taken so long for me to do this. I’ve been hit hard with post-concert depression and I’m still quite busy. I also needed some time to collect all of the memories that have been slowly coming back to me. Good news is that our boys had a fan meet and I (dayounggie) was lucky enough to nab a ticket for the Saturday one. Unfortunately, since I work late hours, I was unable to even attempt to get tix for the Friday meeting, but luckily and LOTS of stress later, I managed to get a ticket for Saturday. I was really bummed out to miss out on L-soonie and the ladder game to pick the next member for the v app show, but the Saturday rally had its own perks!

My Saturday started at 5am when I woke up to wait in line for goods... by myself. I really wished that ohmangotango was here to wait out in the cold with me, but I guess I don’t really wish that upon anyone. Either way, I thought I went there thoroughly prepared with all the essentials but I was still freezing my butt off. Finally, it was time to get goods... but of course, life just likes to dump on me and the one item that I really wanted and braved hours of cold for sold out... literally by the person in front of me. I was going to cry. But at least I knew the boys and their love would be worth it. I was only worried about other fans in standing. Oh yes, I forgot to mention, the only ticket I could find was in Standing C. I was quite worried about having to stand and deal with the inevitable pushing in standing... esp since it’s a fanmeet and there would be lots of movement.

So after a well deserved nap at home, I went back out to the venue. When we finally got in, the screen played mvs as always but also told us to send in a selca for a surprise. It’s not really a surprise cause they did it at the last rally too. But if you send in a selca, during the last song, they choose a few to go up on the screens in the bg. Fast forward to the end, they didn’t choose my pic ㅠㅠ Even though I didn’t have the best number, I got a really good place by standing behind this guard who was letting people in. So, I was along the back rail where it’s a little raised and I had something to lean on. In general, I had a fantastic time. My section was super chill and not stuffed-packed, so there wasn’t a need to push or sway. Everyone just kinda kept to themselves and were very nice and polite and talked to each other and stuff. The girls standing in front of me staggered so I could see between their heads and had a great view 99% of the time. I know I say this often, but Inspirit is the best. They really have no bad intentions. I think if there is any pushing, it’s cause there’s no room and you can’t help but sway with the crowd, or because they’re younger fans who are still a bit rude. Either way, it was the easiest standing experience I had, which was good cause it lasted 4 HOURS!! Ugh, gotta love our boys!

Finally, the fan meet started and the boys came out after a short vid recapping what they’ve been doing since the last fan meet 2 years ago. The boys came out and performed ‘Bad’ and Dongwoo performed the dance break but he didn’t do the normal dance. Instead, he went full energetic Dongwoo and started break dancing and doing all kinds of jump things off the floor and flipping all over the place lol. Excited Dongwoo is the best... but I guess he’s always excited. Then the boys went into their first ment. They introduced themselves but I don’t remember exactly what they said. I only remember Woohyun introducing himself as everyone’s heart. They also talked about Dongwoo’s dance break and he said he wanted to do something a little more special so that’s why he was all over the place. So they made him do it again. They asked for the music but Sunggyu insisted on doing it without the music so we could ‘properly take in’ his dance lol. He did it again and added a pelvic thrust while lying down as well. While they were talking about what they’ve been up to for the past 2 years, they got to Woohyun’s album and everyone started singing ‘Nod’. Hoya suddenly stopped us and told Dongwoo to do the dance break again while we sang ‘Nod’ lol. It was quite a strange sight but Dongwoo was a good sport lol. I remember Woohyun also mentioned that our singing got better and I felt so proud in that moment lol. They continued to talk about the past and talked about Minseok as well (for those who don’t know, Kim Minseok, the actor signed with Woollim/good friend to most of the members, was the MC). They talked a little about the jungle and Minseok was a really good MC. He was really involved in the ments and interacted with the crowd a lot, which made Woohyun really jealous, but we’ll get into that later.

Next they performed ‘Between Me & You’. Idk remember when, but they said the first half would be songs from the ‘Reality’ album and the second half would be songs from ‘INFINITE ONLY’ or something related to the promotions over the last 2 years. After that, they went into another ment. I think they were asked to pick a member for something but I couldn’t catch what it was for. Hearing the answers, I think it was for who’s the most different or who tries the hardest or something, and they chose Sungjong. They said it was because he always works hard on his gestures and wants to show a good side to the fans. Sungjong talked about how all the hyungs take pictures of him and upload it to their group chat but it makes him happy cause that just shows they care or something. So Sungyeol said that he’ll upload everything he’s taken of Sungjong on SNS lol. Then they talked about an episode that happened during the ‘Bad’ recording. The CEO wanted a true/false theme and that instead of the line ‘betting on you’, Sunggyu and Dongwoo recorded a bunch of different things like ‘true/false’, ‘truth or a lie’ and Dongwoo ended the recording by yelling ‘CEO nice~’ and they went into digression about how if the song concept was ‘CEO nice’ then they would’ve gotten #1 for like 30 weeks and it would’ve been popular at golf ranges and bowling alleys lol. Minseok talked about how the boys’ live perf is seriously the best and he hinted that as a music show host, he saw some groups who lip synced and stuff. Then somehow, we got Minseok to sing the chorus of ‘Typhoon’ and he was pretty good! He also mentioned that he really likes that song and throughout the fan meet he mentioned that he likes their music lol all the bromance love. Then V line started humble-bragging about how they all sound so good live as if they swallowed cds and that it sounds like the AR version. That led them to talk about how they sing with small variations so people know it’s not the AR version and one time at an end-of-the-year show, Woohyun exaggerated a note and his voice gave out and then the members teased him. He said the moral of the story was not to exaggerate. They also talked about a time it was early in the morning and Woohyun couldn’t hit a high note at rehearsal and it was embarrassing cause it was in front of other groups too lol. This led them to talk about their second world tour and how they would break up into different teams to go out and do things. They’d break into teams like Myungsoo, Sungyeol, Dongwoo together, Hoya, Sunggyu, Woohyun together and then there was a Sungjong team. Then they said that the Hoya, Sunggyu, Woohyun team went to a performance (I’m thinking this was when they went to see ‘Phantom of the Opera’ on Broadway in NYC) and they had 2 managers but the Sungjong team had 3 managers. They were pretty much teasing him for being high maintenance lol. He said that he doesn’t mind doing things with the members but since he sees them all the time, he just wanted to do his own thing. This also led them to talking in different languages. Woohyun said that Dongwoo was in charge of English and Dongwoo said he’s not that good but can say simple things like ‘What did you have for breakfast’ (or something similar). Then Woohyun, so very cutely, was like ‘Morning rice?’ lol it was adorbs. They said that Sungyeol specializes in Thai and Yeol busted some out and it was so cute. Gyu said something in Mandarin and Soo in Japanese. Jong was in charge of Korean and they said Hoya was in charge of Indonesian, and then Hoya mumbled nothingness into the mic lol. Dongwoo said something in English and Woohyun told him to ‘Sit down’ in English and when asked what he specialized in, Namu said he specialized in the fans lol. What a cutie pie. Then Minseok said something along the lines of I’ve finally grown accustomed to your cheesiness kinda thing lol. They even talked about airport fashion and I think they picked Jong as having the worst. They talked about a lot of other stuff too but I specifically remember Jong talking about how at one concert, I think a fan helped him remember it was in London, where he was standing where the the fireworks were supposed to come out but at the last minute, Yeol grabbed Jong and pulled him out of danger so he was really thankful for that. Ugh... my Yeol feels were on fire. Then they talked about how Sungjong was the hard carry for ‘Knowing Bros’ and they brought out a soccer ball. They talked about how it was so funny cause he wasn’t trying to be funny and was super serious about it. He really was trying to trap the ball with his chest but, in Woohyun’s words, kept getting hit in ‘weird places’ lol. So Woohyun said that Jong has been practicing or something and threw the ball for Jong again and Jong headed it again. That boy needs more practice I think. Then they talked about if they ever wanted to try their hand at a character or drama that another member was in. We all teased Yeol and Soo for some embarrassing moments. They moved onto talking about Gyu’s solo songs for a bit and the hard time Soo is having filming lately (because of the weather). At one point, Gyu asked Minseok to ask them a question he’s curious about. He said he had none because he knows everything lol. Then he asked the fans if they had anything and knelt down close to the edge of the stage to ask a fan. This is when I could literally see the lasers of jealousy shooting out of Woohyun’s eyes. He even said something like ‘Don’t look at our fans that way’ lol. They talked about who was looking forward to the fan meet the most. I think most chose themselves but Soo chose Woohyun and Dongwoo chose Jong. They also made Hoya do an acrostic poem for 무한대집회. It was pretty good as far as I remember but I don’t remember what he said exactly. It had something to do with not going home until the sun comes out. Then they wrapped up the ment and performed ‘Take Care of the Ending’.

After the song, the escape the room game vcr came up. The point was to win money by completing missions and the king gets to do something special at the fan meet. The first mission was getting 95 or higher on a karaoke machine within 20 minutes. They did ‘Come Back Again’ and didn’t get a high enough score so Sungjong sang ‘The Answer’ and Gyu got all mad that he was ‘ruining’ it lol. Then, with 3 mins left, Woohyun was like ‘get outta the way, I’ll get 100 points’ and sang ‘Nod’ and got 99 points so they passed the first mission. The second mission was to get a combined amount of 3000 using pedometers. But, the trick was that they would have different combos of addition and subtraction for each member to make it more difficult, like ‘head - left foot + right hand’. Because of the weird combos, the members looked extra silly. It was quite hilarious, just thinking about it makes me lol again. Yeol was extra cute and with the headband, the members said Gyu looked like So Ji Sub in ‘I’m Sorry, I Love You’ and called him Gyu Ji Sub. Sunggyu’s part was funny too and when it was Namu’s turn, Gyu was staring at him and Namu got all embarrassed and was like ‘What are you looking at?’ lol. They did really well so they went to the 3rd challenge which was eating super spicy ddukbokgi in 10 mins I think. They were making all kinds of panting sounds so I think Woohyun said that the video was getting too raunchy lol. They finished (mostly because Gyu kept feeding everything to Yeol) and so they went to the 4th mission. It was a game of charades, but each member had to act out 3 words and they had to get a total of 18 correct. This part led to some funny moments too with lots of disses from Gyu, but they ultimately failed this mission, so the money they got at the end lessened. To choose the king they all had to one shot a can of coke and not burp. Whoever doesn’t burp for the longest wins. In the end, Woohyun won after drinking like 3 cans of coke and they came back out and performed the Korean version of ‘D.N.A.’

After the song, they did another ment. I remember the fans were trying to get Minseok to dance a part of ‘D.N.A.’ and he did a little after Woohyun taught him a part, but he said he’s not a good dancer. They also talked about how the original title of the song was ‘Virus’ but that word has a bad meaning in Japan so they changed it. They also mentioned how it was originally supposed to be released in Korea but the lyrics didn’t sound as good cause of the chorus where Sunggyu sings ‘Stop. It.’ sounded kinda weird and it fit better in Japanese. Suddenly, Minseok asked if D.N.A. stood for something and they were all like, ‘...DNA...’ and he was like I know what DNA is, I just thought that it meant something cause of the periods between the letters lol. He said it could be ‘돌았나’ (a Busan accented way of saying ‘are you crazy’ that comes off kinda harsh to non-Busan people) so they were like ‘No and stop swearing, there are adolescents here’ lol. Then they talked about going to Busan and the food there and something about Gyu going there with Minseok.

Then they brought out a throne and crown with a spinning wheel to carry out missions. The member spins the wheel and has to carry out that action wherever the king tells him to go to. With the very first spin, Dongwoo ousted Woohyun as king and Woohyun was so devastated and adorable lol. He was like ‘I wasn’t even king for one minute!’ Then they carried out different missions. I don’t remember the order but I think Gyu gave some of his clothes to a fan, Dongwoo gave a fan this gold necklace and he even put it on for her and moved her hair out of the way (everyone swooned lol), Woohyun acted out a scene from ‘Goblin’ with a fan on the third floor (and he was so cute because he was talking while he was walking through the venue where we couldn’t see him and also when he left, he stopped by every single door on the third floor to peek out and wave at fans cause he’s the biggest sweetheart), Hoya took a selca with a fan, Sungyeol danced to ‘TT’ and also gave a fan his practice shorts (which the members all sniffed to make sure it wasn’t nasty lol), Myungsoo backhugged a fan, and Sungjong danced to ‘Chaser’ at 2x the speed and even picked a fan to dance with him on stage and she did a bang up job too (you go Glen Coco!).

Then they performed ‘Love of My Life’ and then showed an interview vcr. I don’t remember exactly what they said, but it was pretty much about how they feel and thanking people/fans. Then they sang ‘One Day’ and went into ments again. They talked about the ‘Typhoon’ promotions and Sungjong’s killing part (the part where he does the choking dance move) and Woohyun said that more than this part, he thought the ‘I realized’ part that Sungjong does was the killing part and he imitated it. Then fans made Sunggyu do the choking dance and at first he did it half-heartedly and Woohyun scolded him and made him do it seriously and OMG IT WAS GLORIOUS. My little heart still hasn’t recovered. Then we proceeded to make them all do it and Hoya acted like he didn’t want to but Yeol called him out and was like ‘You do it all the time in the waiting room, don’t act like you don’t wanna do it’ lol. Then at the end, we made Yeol do it and he was like ‘I’m gonna do it EXACTLY like Sungjong’ and his facial expressions were hilarious. We made Minseok do it too, he was such a good sport lol. I don’t remember if it was here or some other time, but Woohyun was like ‘He’s not even a member, why are you making him do it?’ and his jealousy was on full display imo! Then they were like there’s only one song left and everyone got super down and kept whining but Woohyun was like, even though it’s our last song, you guys are gonna chant ‘Come Back Again’ and we’re gonna pop out and you’re gonna be surprised right? So don’t be sad’ lol. They kept asking, ‘Should we do the last song now?’ and everyone was like ‘yeah..’ and so they kept talking longer and longer cause they felt bad. Then Minseok said his goodbyes and everyone chanted his name and the boys performed ‘Typhoon’.

Then we did the chant of course! It felt like forever omg my voice was dying. The lights went down and the May comeback teaser came on. Then they came out from the second floor doors and walked around the second floor area while performing ‘Nothing Better Than This’. They started doing their last ments and Sungjong was first. He ended his with his typical ‘Honey, dream of me!’ Then Dongwoo started his by saying that Gyu once said, ‘There are many Dongwoos in the world, but none of them are like you.’ Then it was Soo’s turn and there was an event prepared for his birthday. We were supposed to hold up a slogan that said ‘Happy Birthday Myungsoo’ when it was his turn during the last ment and we sang Happy Birthday to him. The boys were chanting for him to cry and he was like wth lol. They also mentioned how during rehearsal Yeol was like ‘Maybe the fans will do a bday event for you’ and Soo was like ‘Nahh, they prob won’t’ and they apologized for having no sense and not buying a cake to make a proper event. They said that they really thought he’d cry but he didn’t and they said it’s cause they don’t have the pianist noona playing heartwarming music in the bg (no band for the fan meet). He also said that it was very touching and he’ll remember it forever and there was an ‘I love you’ chant. At the end of his ment, the boys started a ‘Cry’ chant and when we stopped, this little boy that was in the second floor seats behind my section kept chanting when everyone was super quiet and it was adorable and we all laughed lol. Next was Sunggyu, he didn’t really say anything too important. Then it was Yeol’s turn and he apologized for the lack of help on their side for Soo’s event and said, ‘I’ll make sure to make Myungsoo cry later and upload it on SNS’ and they were like ‘What are you gonna do? Yell “CRY CRY” while hitting him?’ He said a few other things, then it was Hoya. Someone asked him to do the I say Ho you say Ya thing so we did that. He then said, ‘Sunggyu-hyung once said, there are many Hoyas in this world, but none like you.’ and Yeol said ‘but there’s that genius dog Hoya!’ (a dog that came out on TV for being really smart). Then he used that line again and said ‘there are lots of fans, but none like Inspirit’ and mentioned his Golden Disk speech again about how it’s hard to be their fan and how he’s always grateful. He mentioned (and later Gyu and other members kept mentioning) that they made a promise to keep on going together, so fans think they were hinting at the contract re-signing. Then as he was wrapping up, I think a fan was being escorted out by security, prob for filming with a camera, and the boys were like, please just let it go this time! And they even apologized in the fan’s stead. UGH THESE BOYS! CAN THEY GET ANYMORE PERFECT? The right answer is yes. They apparently can... Then it was Namu’s turn and there was a part where he was talking about enjoying life and not living with too much haste and a fan yelled ‘Okay/got it’ and then after every attempt at trying to be heartwarming the members and the fans kept yelling ‘okay~’ and it was so cute!

Then this led to what I’m sure you guys have all heard about... the extra songs and acapella medley that lasted an extra hour. We kept whining for more songs or at least more talking, we just didn’t want them to go yet. And the boys with their weak hearts gave into our demands. Fans also said how they don’t want the wheel next time and they held a vote and said that they won’t do it anymore lol. They just really showed that they cared about us so much and that they didn’t care whether they’d get in trouble or not or anything, the only thing they cared about was us and our time together. (BRING ON THE TEARS ㅠㅠ) At first, they said that there’s a comeback in May so not to worry, after hearing our pleas for them to stay. Then they mentioned how they only found out about the comeback through the teaser on the first day and that they were just as surprised to hear that as we were. I love how they just hang the dirty laundry out there lol. (looking at you Woollim... you better do right by our boys -_- )

They kept trying to start the last song but we were whining and Namu was like, ‘If you guys keep doing that, then we really won’t be able to say no’ and I think Yeol mentioned ‘Chaser’. They first checked to see if they had the venue booked until a certain time or if they could keep talking for longer and fortunately, the staff said that we had it for the night. They always mention how they get lots of complaints from parents and stuff for how long their concerts are (they’re always at least 3 hours, which is quite long compared to other concerts) and they were like oh wells lol. They checked to see if they had the MR and said not to tease them and upload vids of them getting the choreo wrong since it’s been a long time. Finally, staff said they didn’t have the MR and after A LOT of going back and forth with the staff about MR/AR/acapella, they finally said they had the MR for ‘Entrust’ and ‘Cover Girl’ and they were like let’s just do both, so the boys put on an impromptu performance of those songs and they were walking around and going through the second floor again and some of the boys (like Gyu and Namu for sure) made sure to stop by and say hi to their families. You guys don’t even know how happy I was. ‘Cover Girl’ is my all time fav song and ‘Entrust’ is up there too. They’re just so happy and whenever the boys perform it, they always give lots of fan service so I was ecstatic. Woohyun ended it with ‘We’re yours!’ They had so much fun with it and Dongwoo was all excited and they were kinda like whatevers, eff it, let’s just keep going lol. So they were thinking of other fun songs to sing and Namu was like ‘Man In Love’ or ‘Nothing’s Over’?’ and the staff said they only had AR and we were like ‘IT’S OKAY!’ but they didn’t want to do AR cause they said they had pride and didn’t want to lip sync (ALL THE PRIDE IN OUR BOYS YASSSSS) and so Gyu was like the fans can sing and we can do ‘Nothing’s Over’ then all of a sudden, the music for ‘Nothing’s Over’ came on and they all got into formation and started dancing. Then once we started singing the ‘Yeah~’ part and they realized that it was the MR version, they were all happily surprised and kept going. And of course, we did the ‘Die die’ fanchant!

Then! They tried to do prepare for the last song again until Dongwoo started singing ‘Together’, and we all kept singing. That started the medley of us singing with the boys for like 15 mins. This is definitely on youtube, so I’m gonna skip over it. All I have to say is that I am INSANELY proud to be a part of this fandom and OVER THE MOON grateful that I found these 7 treasures. We started the medley for fun, but towards the end you could really see how touched and emotional the boys were getting. There was a part where Dongwoo tried to do ‘Inconvenient Truth’ but he picked a strange part to start at so fans didn’t pick it up quick enough and he was like why isn’t anyone singing? Dongwoo also started the Telemonster OST they did too lol. They all chimed in with different songs and it was so cool to see/be a part of. Woohyun mentioned how it’s fun for them and us but everyone else must be like wth. And they also mentioned that the only thing that matters is us together, since that’s what a fan meeting is all about. UGH ALL THE CRIES. Then Sunggyu put a stop to the medley cause they started singing the Digimon and Pokemon theme songs and were getting too off topic lol. Then they finally performed ‘Thank You’, went around and said their goodbyes, and finally, at the end, Myungsoo started to cry. Yeol was like, ‘Someone give me your phone so I can take a pic and upload it!’ lol. Then the list of official fanclub member names came up but I was so pissed cause the security kicked everyone out before I could see my name. They literally pushed me out the door and slammed the door in my face... and then some security guard manhandled me while I was waiting on the sidewalk trying to cross the street. I think it’s cause I had my phone in my hand and he thought I was trying to wait on the sidewalk for the boys’ vans to go by but I just wanted to go home at that point. So the end of the night was -___- but then as I made my way home, they start texting one by one messages through that number that you were supposed to send your selca to. Each member said a short cute message of thanks and love you’s.

Overall, this was probably one of the best INFINITE related anything that I’ve been to... and I didn’t know if anything could beat IEA. But ugh, seriously our boys... I have no words. You could feel their love. I’m so so sorry that this was so long, but since it was a fan meet rather than a concert, there was so much more talking! Even after the few hours I put into writing this account, I still feel like I’m missing stuff or left small stuff out cause there’s too much already. Hopefully we’ll all be lucky and blessed with a DVD of the fan meet one day! If you have any questions, please feel free to leave us an ask and thank you so much for reading to the very end! Also, from one Inspirit to another, thank you so much for supporting and loving the boys! They deserve all the love in the world, and I’m so happy to be a part of it with all of you lovely fans! It’s a bit early, but please make sure to put your 110% effort into streaming/tweeting/everythinging once May comes around! Thank you~ ^^

#infinite #인피니트 #무한대집회III #무한대집회3 #무집 #무집3 #sunggyu #dongwoo #woohyun #hoya #sungyeol #l #myungsoo #sungjong #fan account #170304 #togetherinspirit7

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sanguinarysanguinity · 7 years

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2016 “Writing” Year Review

(I make other kinds of things, too!) gakked from @ecouter-bien

Total Number of Things Completed: 22 finished stories, 10 of which were 60-word stories for Sherlock60. (I stopped doing those, because the effort to fit a complete story into precisely sixty words was consuming half or more of my writing time in a week, which was making it difficult to finish other things. It’s a lovely exercise, and I’m proud of some of them, but it was sucking my creative time like no one’s business.)

I also published two vids and two podfic. (Podfic are new-to-me this year! Hooray, I learned stuff!)

Also-also, I co-founded AO3′s More Holmes collection and co-modded two rounds of Holmestice. I choose to count that time as making things, too, even if the thing made is “only” a shared creative space.

Total Word Count: Approx. 55K words of fiction, plus another 10K word of commentary for that one vid. Plus 30 minutes of podfic and 6 minutes of vids.

Fandoms Created In: Star Wars, Supergirl, Mad Max, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Strange Empire, Miss Fisher Murder Mysteries, and fifty-some Holmesian fandoms, heh.

Looking Back, Did You Expect To Write More Fic Than You Thought You Would This Year, Less, Or About What You’d Expected? I expected to finish more, actually. I hoped to finish at least one of the two WIP stories on my hard-drive that have been sliding toward 50K each, but I eventually jettisoned the effort and wrote 30K of new stories, instead. I also trunked 10K of my ill-fated Holmestice story. :-(

But even though my raw word count feels low (for me), that was one humdinger of a vid project, plus I learned to make a new kind of fanwork, plus I modded three things. So, you know.

What’s Your Own Favorite Creation Of The Year? Well, it would have to be Something Good (Will Come From That), wouldn’t it? Every minute of working with @language-escapes was a joy, and it was well-received, too, widely rec’d outside of media fandom and in a bunch of languages I don’t speak. Too, it was almost exactly the thing I had initially set out to make: I wanted to show off Holmesiana the way I see Holmesiana -- as a great, tumultuous, heartfelt, joyous, and much-contested sea of ideas -- and I honestly think a lot of viewers got that from it.

But it was also very difficult to come back from, creatively. All summer long and into the fall, there was the definite sensation that I’d just published the best thing that I would ever make, and what was the point of trying to make other things? It took months to shake that. In the end, I didn’t so much shake it as decide that I might as well kill some time by making some shit.

Did You Take Any Creative Risks This Year? Mm, yes. I have long had a crushing fear of writing sex scenes, and it was limiting what kinds of stories I could tell. With @phoenixfalls’s encouragement, I screwed up my courage and made myself write some smut. And it went okay! I didn’t die, and some people enjoyed the stories!

Do You Have Any Creative Goals For The New Year? I’d be nice to finish up THE BEST BEE FIC ON MARS, because that’s been bugging me. It’d also be nice to finish up one of those monster WIPs on my hard-drive, and to un-trunk one of the trunked things. Also, I promised a bunch of treat-vids to people last summer; it’d be nice to get those finished up.

Best Creative Work Of The Year? Something Good (Will Come From That), obviously. Which was a double-edged sword: like I said, I spent months afterward paralyzed by the feeling that I’d done the best work I’ll ever do. :-/

Most Popular Work Of The Year? Hahahaha, Something Good (Will Come From That), of course. It was a bit, um, unnerving, actually. The streaming file has had 6.5K plays, it’s been rec’d in non-fannish venues from facebook to gizmodo, and even the grumpy old-guard Holmesians who hate everything I love have said some nice things about it.

In fact, for a while there, I thought I was going to open my email to find that my mom had forwarded it to me, all “I saw this and thought you might like it, I know you’re into Sherlock Holmes.”

Work of Mine Most Under-appreciated By The Universe, IMO: Desperate Men and Fools was never going to have a large readership (because ampersand, because American AU, because crossover with a rare fandom), but c’mon, I had hoped for a little more readership than it got?

That said, the readership it did get was as appreciative as I could want. I’ve been very lucky that way.

Work Most Fun To Make: Baker Street Papas. Yeah, so, the vid’s success was fucking with my head, so I holed up and wrote 18K of fluffy kidfic in an incredibly obscure fandom, just for me and @language-escapes, it didn’t matter if anyone else liked it or even read it. Writing it was a lot like writing THE BEST BEE FIC EVER, all self-indulgence and not much critical anything, just putting down shit what amused me and not much caring whether you’d still respect me in the morning. Weirdly, it got a lot more readership than I thought it was going to? (Is that the dudeslash effect? It’s been fun that people like it, anyway.)

Story With The Single Sexiest Moment: HahahahaNOPE. I write smut by not letting myself think about what I’m doing, and I avoid re-reading it after. If you want to identify a sexiest moment you can go read them and tell me.

Sweetest Story: Welcome Home, maybe? It’s all about hugs, anyhow, and people finally getting them.

“Holy Crap, That’s Wrong, Even For You!” Work: Huh, lookit that, I didn’t unleash any of my crack-not!crack monstrosities on the world last year. Sorry, I’ll try to do better.

Work That Shifted My Own Perceptions Of The Characters: Saved the World Today gave me a horrendous case of feelings about Alex Danvers -- until then, I did not know I had Alex feelings! Some of those feelings spilled over into Terrible Sisters, but most of them ended up in tagspams.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: Eh, you can find deeply-held parts of me throughout all of my stories. It’s the only reason they speak to people, I would have thought.

Hardest Story To Write: Desperate Men and Fools. First, the crossover is a fundamental genre mismatch: @gardnerhill’s “Welcome to Bakerstown” is rooted in the mythic, legendary, larger-than-life Old West, while Strange Empire stands stands in stark opposition to that kind of Old West story. Second, I was writing about Native genocide from a white pov, fuck my life. Third, I was attempting to write a classic Western, which is a genre that I deliberately avoid -- I cobbled that thing together from half-remembered Marlboro Man commercials and shit. It doesn’t usually take me a year to write an 11K story, but it took me a year to thread my way through that 11K story.

Biggest Disappointment: Having to trunk my Holmestice story this last round. Trunking it was a good decision, but damn but it hurt to have to do it.

Biggest Surprise: That Something Good turned out to be a smash hit, actually. Honestly, between the unfashionable song choice and the fact that we were aggressively selecting commonly-maligned sources, I thought it’d just be another one of Those Weird Things That Sang Makes, passionately loved by a few and ignored by most. And then when it went live mere hours after the Pulse nightclub shooting... I was 100% resigned to it being perceived as the most irrelevant kind of trivia. (Which was certainly how I was feeling about it, that horrible day.)

But then the comments started coming in, and it turned out that people got it, that it clicked for them. That it made them happy. And not just my weird little corner of Holmesiana, either, but that it was being received as a love letter to the fandom at large, and that the fandom-at-large was responding in kind...

I, um, hadn’t expected that. It was a silly little song about how pretty the dragon is; it was the shock of my life when the dragon sat up and listened to it.

#my writing #also my other things #something good (will come from that)#long post

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paintmysilence · 6 years

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Ok, Let’s Get You Upgraded and Ready To Go With Live Engager Pro Right Now! Now if you’re still on the fence a bit and wondering whether this upgrade is for you, let me tell you that it most definitely is.

Do you need this upgrade in order for Live Engager to work? No. Live Engager is everything we said it was and more when you made your purchase.

But with Live Engager Pro, you’re going from the corner suite to the penthouse. Sure, the suite is nice, but the penthouse has more features and more exclusivity.

And that’s what we’re offering you today.

Live Engager Pro will put you so far ahead and above the competition that they won’t know what hit them!

And all for just a small investment.

Think about it, isn’t the small investment worth not having to spend countless hours on end replying to messages, liking comments for engagement, trying to syndicate to other social media properties, and more?

Why waste your time on that when you can have your very own automated solution handling all the heavy lifting for you?

So go ahead and use the button below to get access to Live Engager Pro right now. Don’t delay.

And get ready to turbo charge your leads, sales, and Fanpages even more with Live Engager Pro! LIVE Engager Pro Claim Live Engager Pro PLUS Claim Developers Rights to WP Quiz Master WP Quiz Master ($67 Value) A very easy to use plugin that allows user to create and embed them anywhere on your blog.

Unlimited amount of quizzes Each quiz has individual options Mobile friendly (responsive design) Each question can have its own featured image Share Quiz score on Facebook and Twitter Much Much More…

Earlybird Bonus WP Video Attention [Value: $67]

"WP Video Attention is a plugin that allows you to clip your video and serves as a widget to any corner on your page. This allows your videos to VISIBLY continue playing when a user scrolls down a page, so they are still able to see the video and not only hear it."

WORTH $67 BUT LOCK THIS IN AS A BONUS TODAY WHEN YOU UPGRADE Lock This In Today And Claim Live Engager Pro Plus Developers Rights to WP Quiz Master

#LIVE Engager

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