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halcyonstorm · 3 years

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Levi notices she looks lighter and happier and is glad shes getting used to the commander post but also notices shes getting distant and blames it on commander duties. He thinks do i miss her? Nah maybe its just habit. Buuut theeen. He then finds out about it one day during an after training drinking session with 104th at the same bar and his breath hitches in his throat. Hange all pretty in a dress very drunk laughing at something this guy said and the world stops around him. He doesnt understand what it makes him feel. He feels like shit. Terrible. He hates it. He wants to smack the guy's face but doenst understand why. 104th notices his sudden unease and follows the direction he's staring and see hange with a guy. Sasha and Armin sigh dreamily happy that hange found someone she likes and that 'this is the happiest ive ever seen her" Levi dies at that. What does that mean? He wasnt enough? What does this guy give her that he doesnt? Wait. Why does it matter why am I even comparing. She cares about me too. But not like that. He thinks. It gets confusing and he leaves in a rush leaving everyone else stunned. Except connie who laughs at how hange made him jealous. The rest is just levi childishly following hange around mocking her happiness and the guy, finding out WHY she likes him. But gets nothing the guys actually nice and cares about hange. He hates himself and accepts her happiness but falls for her even harder since now he knows what shes like when shes in love and he wants it to be him. He accepts that hes fallen for her with the help of a very drunk man next to him at the same bar to whom he spills his secret to. The story continues and pls can someone write this already before i kill myself daydreaming about it

hi anon! sorry it took me a while but I finally got around to writing this. thank you for suggesting the prompt! i hope you enjoy. you can read it below OR check it out here on Ao3.

Title: Get Your Shit Together, Levi!

WARNING: ANGST

note: this is gifted to @tundrainafrica. i hope this satisfies your angst cravings. i hope you enjoy as well <3

Levi and some members from the 104 went out to a bar one night. It was a warm, summer evening and the sun had just begun to set. They all had a long day training out in the field, and Connie somehow convinced Levi to go out with them. Perhaps it was because Connie batted his puppy-dog eyes at Levi in such a way where if Levi didn’t, he thought Connie would break down and cry. Besides, Levi had asked Hange and she declined stating she had other plans. The bar was hustling and bustling that evening. They sat in a booth: Levi, Sasha, Connie, and Armin. They all ordered food, Sasha ordering herself more food than she looks like she can eat. The kids talked amongst themselves. After all, who was going to talk to Levi? He was their superior, almost like their parent who disappeared for years before showing up unexpectedly, expecting the kids to take him back. Armin made some small talk with Levi, but no one knew much about Levi. They knew two things for sure: he loved to clean and he loved tea. He usually hated alcohol, but somehow managed to down an entire beer glass before receiving the food. He was exhausted from the day, as was everyone else.

Suddenly, a loud laugh caught his attention. It wasn’t just any laugh, but a familiar one. A laugh that sent shivers down his spine and his heart to throb hard in his chest. It was Hange Zoe’s laugh. Had he known she were going, he would’ve invited her to avoid the awkward socialization with his subordinates. He looked to where the sound was coming from and was shocked. Other plans, huh? She was sitting next to a dark skinned man with a buzzcut and a beer glass in one hand. He was laughing too. She was laughing at something he said. The sight of her took his breath away. She never wore a dress like that before, but tonight she wore an emerald green dress that went a bit past her knees, exposing her muscular calves. The neckline of the dress cut low, exposing her collarbones. Her hair was in a ponytail but was neater than usual. Was she on a date? The realization caused Levi to feel as if his heart was being squeezed by a fist that was wringing out all the blood from it. Squeezing it so tight Levi thought he was going to die for a brief moment. He rubbed his eyes and looked again to make sure he could believe what he saw. He could. There she was: Hange in her beautiful emerald dress, talking and laughing with the dark-skinned man. They were sitting across from one another at a table-for-two. Their faces were close to one another as they spoke and laughed, drinking glasses and glasses of wine. Why do I feel this way? He asked himself. But he knew why. This feeling was familiar. It happened a few times before, specifically with Hange. It happened when she gave Moblit all her attention, gushing over how competent he was as her assistant, and now. Seeing her face to face on a date with this man who was much more attractive than himself: honey brown eyes; aquiline nose; plump lips; big, strong hands; a deep voice; and most importantly, he was much taller than Levi. He saw her date place a hand on hers, making Levi’s rage fester even stronger. I’m gonna slap that man, he thought. Why was he touching her? And why does she not mind it?

Levi had been staring for a long time, longer than he thought, before Connie nudged him from across the table. He was clearly drunk.

“Leeeeeeeeeevi,” he slurred with a cheshire cat-like grin. “Gawking, are we?” Levi rolled his eyes, taking his beer glass from him.

“You’ve gotta stop drinking,” he ordered, finishing whatever was left of Connie’s beer.

“Are you looking at Hange?” Armin asked, turning his head left to look at Levi. Armin could tell right away that was what Levi was doing. He shook his head no.

“She looks soooooo happy!” Sasha chimed in, dreamily gazing at the couple. Levi felt his face contort into a wretched grimace.

“She does. I haven’t seen her look so happy in a while,” Armin added. He quickly regretted it though when Levi threw him a harsh glare. Armin looked through his glare after a moment. Levi had a look in his eyes that Armin never saw before: hurt. Levi was hurt. His eyebrows were knit together, expressing a look that one may give when they’re about to cry.

I am not enough for her.

Armin felt his heart strings tugged, hesitantly placing a comforting hand on Levi’s bicep. He knew how much he loved her, despite his harsh tone. Hange was the only one who truly understood Levi and his words. Armin was able to observe Levi with Hange one night.

It was a cool March evening and Hange was working hard that day. She had been cooped up in her office sorting through and reading stacks and stacks of papers. She never came out for a meal that entire day. He saw Levi knock on her door with a plate of food in one hand and a blanket folded over his arm. She didn’t respond, so Levi allowed himself in. The door was shut behind him, but Armin could hear him softly talking to her before leaving the office. She must’ve fallen asleep so Levi draped the blanket over her shoulders. He must’ve left the food on her desk. That was the moment Armin realized Levi loved Hange. He didn’t just love her. He adored her. Ever since that moment, Armin was able to decipher Levi’s words from his true feelings.

“Oooooooooooooh, is someone jealous?” Connie teased. Sasha slapped his arm. Levi felt like if he stayed any longer, he’d explode and say something he’d regret.

“Shut the fuck up,” Levi sneered, standing up to leave. He felt as if he should torture himself more and watch the happy couple, but he didn’t have the willpower to do so. He drank a bit too much than he would’ve liked, and the heat inside the bar was getting to a boiling point, and he felt sick to his stomach. He didn’t need to hear it from the 104 that he lost his chance with Hange. They called out for him, but he didn’t hear. The air outside was much cooler compared to the sweltering temperature of hundreds of bodies tightly packed in the small bar. He found a trash can nearby, barely making it before vomiting. The stomach acid and alcohol came spewing out of him. He smelt it in his nose each time he breathed. He spit into the trash can when he was done, starting to slowly walk back to the cabins.

A few days later, Levi goes back to that bar alone after another hard day training. He felt like the sun was draining him of his energy each time he dared to stay outside. He sat on a bar stool and ordered a beer. There was a man next to him of whom he didn’t recognize. He was a stocky older man who had short black hair and brown eyes. The man looked drunk, the type of drunk where you can remember half the shit that was going on. The man saw Levi’s face and did not recognize him which gave Levi an impulsive idea.

“Are you from out of town?” Levi asked the man. He gave Levi a small smile.

“Yes.”

Say no more, Levi thought. Suddenly, a few drinks in, he opened up the key on his heart and started spilling his emotions to this guy. A few tears came through. Levi was buzzed at this point, his words too jittery and his hands too shaky. The man to whom he spoke listened intently. Somehow, this man he met at the bar had this pleasant aura that Levi felt he could tell him anything.

“Sir,” The man said. “Why don’t you just talk to her? Talk to her like you’re talking to me. That is the only way you’ll find out her true intentions with her date.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“But it is. You know how much more peace there’d be in the world if people just talked things out?”

The man’s unrealistic statement somehow gave Levi some confidence. That confidence, however, quickly went out the window when he caught a glance of a messy brown mop of hair. It was Hange with that dark-skinned man again. She wore a black dress this time with a high collar, her arms exposed. God, she looked beautiful. Levi wished she could dress up for him like that. In that moment, hearing her beautiful laugh and seeing her beautiful smile, Levi realized he was in love with her.

“Ah… is that her?” The man asked, looking over his shoulder inconspicuously (unlike Levi who starred with no shame).

“Yes…”

“Find time to talk to her,” The man said. “You got this, man.” Before Levi went to say something to the man again, he was gone. He tried to watch her as she talked with the man. She was radiant. She had a look on her face that he couldn’t quite place. Was it… No. It couldn’t be. Her eyes were glowing, she was shining. Was she falling for this man?

He felt like he was gonna be sick again. He abruptly got up from his seat and headed to the bathroom. He pushed the stall door open, vomiting once again. His throat was still sore from the last time, so this time the acid ripped at his throat even more. Hot tears started to stream down his face. He wanted her so bad. He wanted to be the one to make her laugh and smile. He wanted to be the one she fell in love with, not him. His heart ached so bad it was attempting to jump out from his throat. What hurt the most is that the guy she was with was nice. Too fucking nice. He laughed at her jokes, didn’t complain when she rambled, made subtle touches that weren’t inappropriate, and he was tall. He placed a hand to his heart as if it’d help put it back together. He took a deep, quivering inhale before standing up, flushing the toilet, and going to the faucet. He splashed his face with some cold water. How can I expect her to like me if I can’t confess? He looked at himself in the mirror.

You look like shit, he told himself. He murmured a few words aloud: “I’m in love with you. I am in love with you. Hange, I love you. I love you, Hange. Please be with me.” He took in a deep breath, stronger than the last, before exiting. He bumped into a person when he left the stall but paid no mind to it. When he was about to leave, he noticed the man she was with was gone. Maybe he was the one he bumped into?

“Oi, Hange,” he said, walking to her table. She smiled softly when she saw him.

“Levi, what’re you doing here? I thought you hated liquor.”

“I can’t spend time at a bar?” he replied, leaning a hand on the table. Hange rolled her eyes playfully.

“You can do whatever you please,” She said, beginning to stand up.. “Now if you’ll-”

“Four-eyes,” he interrupted her. “You look…” She stared at him intently, waiting for his response. “Good.”

Her eyes lost their light. Did he upset her? Then Levi realized she wasn’t staring at him anymore, she was looking past his shoulder. At that moment, the dark-skinned man approached Hange from behind Levi. So I did bump into him earlier.

“Are you ready?” He asked her. His voice was deep and seductive. Levi wondered if they fucked yet.

“Just a moment,” Hange replied. “Thank you, Levi. Was that all you had to say?” He felt like an idiot. An absolute idiot.

“N...Yes,” he said, losing all the confidence he had built up. How could he compete with this man? Levi just wretched in the bathroom and looked as pale as a ghost. Hange placed her hand on his shoulder gently, which made Levi’s heart skip a beat.

“Have a good night, Levi. Get your rest.” She started walking past him with her date towards the exit.

“No…” he murmured, inaudible to Hange. Or so he thought. She froze in her spot as she heard him change his answer.

“Onyankapon, could you wait outside for me? Give us a moment,” She whispered to her date. He nodded, exiting the bar. Hange turned around to face Levi. They were standing within a comfortable distance from each other.

“Levi, what else did you have to say? It’s getting late, you know.”

“I miss you,” he admitted. Hange’s eyes widened at his direct statement, knowing he usually states the opposite. “I miss hanging out with you and being with you all the time. You’re with him now and that’s okay but I just wanted to tell you that I can be better for you. I can take you on dates that are more exciting than a bar. You said you always wanted to swim, we can do that… We can do whatever you want us to do. All I care about is being with you.”

Hange’s face flushed red. He never talked like this with her before. She could tell he was a bit desperate but that didn’t make him any less genuine. Her heart ached. She was not sure how to feel. She did love him, but that was a while ago. A little part of her would always love Levi, but she was falling for Onyankapon now.

“I’m so sorry, Levi,” she said, barely audible. “I’m sorry. I did feel that way for you a long time ago, but I don’t anymore. I wish you had told me sooner.”

#do NOT come for me #ANGST #DID I MENTION ANGST #levihan #this has angst if i didn't mention it already #levi x hange #levi x hanji #levi ackerman #hange zoe #hanji zoe #levihan angst #levihan brainrot #asks #ask

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youngbeanpole · 3 years

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A message from BP’s mail-lady

hoo boy here we go. this is gonna be a long post.

hi! im lemon, and i started this blog on april 2nd 2012. and today, april 22nd 2021, im posting beanpole’s last message here. its been one hell of a ride.

how it all started i was 15, spending time on tumblr, when i suddenly started seeing people posting about this movie that was about to be released soon, called the lorax. now, im not american, so i had never really heard of dr seuss, but people were so enthusiastic! so i watched a shitty cam-rip of the movie and joined the fandom.

and then the askblogs started, the first one i came across being swag, of course. i had run askblogs for other fandoms before, so i wanted to join in on the fun. but regular once-ler was already taken... and green suit once-lers, and audrey and ted too... so i had to come up with something original.

the movie started with the once-ler leaving home and his family showing just how awful they were, and i started thinking, ‘man, his childhood mustve sucked..’ ‘haha what if i made a blog about once-ler when he was my age?’

an impulse decision that somehow gained me 100 followers in a week. somehow relatable tumblr teen once-ler was relatable to 2012 tumblr. who couldve known?

i get kinda emotional looking back at it, honestly. people were so fun and creative. id stay up late to keep talking to people (bc timezones are hell). and i had a lot of fun just pretending to be a flawed boy, one who seemed nice but could be rather snarky, who would lie and break promises at the drop of a hat, but only because he didnt know any better, not out of malice. and i couldnt have done it without you all. i never wouldve known that he hates tomatoes, or likes celine dion, or wears the same thneed every dang day just because that happened to be his icon.

was it silly to get obsessed with a childrens movie? maybe. but i had a great time. (im also happy to see there are still people in the fandom that are carrying on the legacy... you guys rock)

truffula flu i think most people that remember bp remember him from truffula flu’s camp entre, over at youngbeansprout... a blog ive sadly lost the password to. im a big baby so i never thought id enjoy writing about something as scary as zombies, but i saw my friends doing it so i went in blind, without any idea on a backstory for the au or whatever. ....which is probably why he wasnt always all that prominent in the story, haha. well, that, and timezones.

it was probably an even wilder time than running this blog was, because there was actual plot. and people would liveblog it. and make fanart. and cosplay??? someone out there? cosplayed my oc to a convention? its one of those things that make you go. huh. i made something cool. probably never gonna reach that high ever again, but it sure is a fond memory. i still have a folder on my computer with all the fanart and it still brings a smile to my face.

also... i never did get to finish zombie au’s story, but i did plan how it would end. so if youve managed to read this far, congratulations! youve hit the hidden deep lore.

---

so the thing with truffula flu was that entre made the trees fucked up, right? and those spores would turn ppl into zombies. and of course you could become a zombie from being bitten, but it also traveled through the air...

everyone in camp entre (who wasnt immune or already infected) wore a gasmask, a bandana, something to cover their mouth. bp, who wandered into the apocalypse by accident, did not. he didnt even know.

so little by little, the spores gathered in his lungs, until he realized. oh no. im getting sick. oh no. oh no oh no oh no. he messed around audrey’s equipment to confirm he was infected, and he got scared. he was a scared kid and he was going to die.

except. ted had handed him a cure for safe-keeping. a cure bp had sworn to protect with his life. but it could save him, right? in a moment of cowardice, he uses it on himself... only to find out there never was a cure. (now heres the part where my memory gets fuzzy but) the ‘’’cure’’’ was given to ted, who was already slightly rotting, meant as a mercy kill. the people who gave him the cure assumed he would use it on himself.

except ted was a good kid, who wanted to use the cure to help others. and beanpole? his lies and broken promises came back to bite him in the ass, and he died sudden and alone. the end. :)

ANYWAY

the end of an era ive wanted to wrap this blog up for several years now but i never knew how. younger me wanted to give him a happy ending, which back then i thought was getting him a girlfriend.

but as i got older, i realized... not everything can be fixed with a relationship. he’d have to learn to overcome his flaws by himself, learn his lesson about honesty and sincerity and the dangers of greed. and then, maybe he’ll have a happy ending.

so as he rides into the sunset on this day, imagine. maybe he’ll end up cutting down a forest and regretting it the rest of his life. maybe he’ll become a rock-star. an inventor. a teacher. a gentleman. a cannibal? okay, maybe not that one or maybe he’ll continue traveling forever, singing songs about boredom.

who knows? there’s infinite possibilites out there.

and with that, im logging off too. if you ever need me, ill be over on twitter as his deoncelerized self, bean.

#ooc #this got really long lmao but i had too many stories to tell

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hurricanery · 3 years

Text

If the Sun Comes Up - pt. 1

Apologies for the long A/N: This is the start of an AU fic inspired by this prompt & this prompt. It follows Amelia & Link, along with many others, in their first year as interns at seattle grace hospital. Thank you for sending character requests about this one! I settled on a few, but other characters are likely to show up later on as residents/attendings. Also, sidenote: this is completely an AU, meaning I just kind of grouped people together based on my interpretation of age (not that age really makes sense in the greys world anyways). This chapter is somewhat boring, basically just a set up for the characters and dynamic of the story. Thank you as always for feedback and prompts <3

In summary, the main interns in focus are: Amelia Shepherd, Atticus Lincoln, Maggie Pierce, Winston Ndugu, Jo Wilson, & Lexie Grey. The ship this focuses on is Amelink <3

_______

That's how it starts

We go back to your house

We check the charts

And start to figure it out

_______

(Hour 1)

“No, no, no,” she mutters impatiently, hastily climbing out of her car, her jacket catching in the door as she slams it shut. “God dammit, son of a-”

She tugs her jacket free and sighs in exasperation as she begins walking at a pace that could quite possibly challenge olympic level speed-walkers.

Amelia Shepherd was a lot of things.

Sharp. Cunning. Confident. Prepared. Most of the time.

But, throughout her lifetime, she’d also been described in less elevating ways. Unpredictable. Impulsive. Irresponsible. She laughs bitterly when her mind settles on the last adjective, as she scurries through the doors of Seattle Grace Hospital.

Because she was a lot of things. And late for the first day of her surgical internship was now getting added to the list.

_______

“Pierce, Lincoln, Wilson, Ndugu, Grey, Shepherd!” Chief Webber’s voice booms through the chaos of the crowded locker room. Interns begin stepping forward as their names are called. “Pierce, Lincoln, Wilson, Ndugu, Grey, and Shepherd,” he beckons again, “Your assigned resident is Dr. Karev.”

Alex scowls intimidatingly as five out of his six interns approach him by the door.

“Let’s move,” he mutters, starting to walk swiftly through the corridor of the hospital while the interns trail behind him.

“I have five rules,” he stops walking suddenly, and the sound of halting sneakers squeaks behind him. “First rule…” He trails off, turning around to look pointedly at each of their faces. “There are five of you here, who’s missing?”

The group looks between each other in confusion, shrugging amongst themselves. Alex peers down at each of their ID badges.

“Where’s Shepherd?”

More shrugs.

“Where’s Shepherd?” He repeats, louder this time.

“I’m here, I’m here!” Amelia’s breathless voice chimes distantly behind the group as she jogs to meet them. She comes to a stop, huffing out a breath as she pushes strands of her long, dark hair out of her face.

Alex glares at her, arms folding across his chest.

“Okay forget the rules, we’re out of time,” He growls. “You five,” He looks between those of his interns that were on time today. “You’ll be joining me in the gallery for a groundbreaking surgery.”

There’s excited murmurs throughout the group.

“I’m serious. The surgery you’re about to witness….you will likely never see anything like it again. You will be silent. You will take notes. And you will not embarrass me.”

The excited murmurs turn to anxious nods.

“Shepherd,” Alex continues, an evil smirk taking over his expression. Amelia gulps. “Your last name is not going to save your ass right now.” He laughs. “I have this dude who’s taking up a bed down in the pit. He won’t stop throwing up. He’s a junkie. You’re gonna go clean him up, give him an IV, and send him home. And then maybe you can come find us.”

Amelia sighs, stepping forward slightly to defend herself. “Are you sure? Don’t you think I should see-”

“I didn’t ask for a response,” he interrupts her. “I asked you to head to the pit.”

Amelia blinks, her hands dropping to her sides in defeat. She watches as the rest of her intern class hurries off to witness a groundbreaking surgery without her.

_______

(Hour 8)

Amelia slowly shuffles through the dimly lit basement of Seattle Grace, following the sounds of her fellow interns’ voices.

“Ugh, Atticus,” Jo laughs loudly. “Call him Link. I have never heard anyone call him Atticus.”

Jo’s laugh echoes through the hallway and Amelia uses it to guide her.

“Sorry,” Lexie giggles in defense. “It’s not like I knew that. Not my fault you all know each other already.”

Amelia finally approaches. And sees everyone sprawled out across the abandoned hospital bed in the hallway. The bed rests against a large window by the vending machines.

“Who all knows each other already?” Amelia huffs as she slides down against the opposite wall, settling herself on the floor and leaning her head back in exhaustion.

“Everyone, apparently,” Lexie responds as she takes a bite of a granola bar. “Maggie and Winston went to Tufts together. Jo and Link did the same undergrad program, and even worked at the same restaurant. I’m the loner here.”

“Well,” Amelia mumbles, eyes closing as her head rests against the wall. “I’m a loner with you, then.”

“Yeah, except for the fact that you’re a Shepherd,” Lexie laughs.

“And you’re a Grey!” Amelia bites back playfully. “We’re in the same boat here.”

“Wait, you’re a Grey?” Maggie gasps, practically choking on the handful of chips she’d just consumed. Winston leans forward, concern crossing his features as he rubs Maggie’s back. She slowly gets a grasp over her coughs. “You’re a Grey, too? Like….Meredith Grey?”

“Yeah….I’m her sister….” Lexie frowns. And Maggie’s eyes go wide. “What’s wrong with being a Grey-”

“Is everyone here somehow related to an attending or resident?” Jo interrupts, rolling her eyes in disbelief. “What in the nepotism….”

Maggie settles back in her seat, her eyes still wide as Winston watches her. Quiet falls between them all and Amelia resumes her previous position, eyes coming to rest as she leans back against the wall. She listens to the voices among the group as the conversation picks back up.

“I heard that every year, they pick the most promising intern on the first day to scrub in on something.” Jo announces. Amelia’s adrenaline kicks in a little bit at this information, but she keeps her eyes shut.

“During our first shift?” Lexie gasps.

“Mhm.”

“No thanks,” Lexie mutters. “I’d definitely screw something up.”

“I might ask Karev about it,” Amelia can hear the smirk in Jo’s voice. “Try and get a leg up on it.”

“Nah,” Link cuts in. “Don’t do that. Whatever happens, happens. You wanna be a shark about it?”

“Okay, Mr. ‘go with the flow.’” Jo laughs. “That kind of attitude is not going to get you anywhere.”

The comfortable silence that fills the hallway again makes sense. It reflects everyone’s current exhaustion.

But then a question gets voiced, and it takes Amelia a moment to realize that the question is directed toward her.

“How’d your patient in the pit go?”

Amelia’s eyes snap open as she searches for the face that voiced the question. Her eyes land on Link’s bright-eyed and sympathetic gaze.

“I….didn’t end up discharging him.” Amelia mutters. And she watches as Link raises his eyebrows at this information.

“Karev is not going to be happy about that.”

“He….uh,” Amelia sits up, bringing her knees to her chest as she explains. “The patient….he’s not a junkie.” She outwardly cringes at the word. “It’s not withdrawal. It’s something else.”

“What makes you think that?” Jo inquires doubtfully.

“His symptoms,” Amelia mumbles, somewhat self-consciously. “They’re not withdrawal symptoms.”

“Maybe Shepherd’s right,” Link offers, a kindness to his voice that surprises Amelia. She expects him to be more arrogant. Or maybe a little full of himself. Just based on his looks. But, everything she’s heard from him so far, has been nothing but positive.

“You going to tell Karev you didn’t discharge the guy?” Jo questions.

“I am,” Amelia responds matter-of-factly. And the hallway grows silent again.

“I could just take a nap right here, right now….” Winston eventually mumbles out.

And there’s a general hum of agreement. Before the quiet moment is interrupted by a chorus of pagers going off.

_______

(Hour 12)

They finally get a lunch break. And by the time it comes around, Amelia isn’t even hungry. After being vomited on in the pit all morning, her appetite is completely diminished.

She walks through the hallway towards the cafeteria and sees Maggie walking a few feet ahead of her.

“Hey!” She catches up to her.

“Hey,” Maggie smiles. “You grabbing lunch?”

Amelia just groans, shaking her head. “Not after the morning I’ve had, no.”

Maggie gives her a sympathetic look before she stops in front of the bulletin board outside of the cafeteria. Amelia watches curiously as Maggie pins a flyer to the board, then she reads the posting.

“You’re looking for roommates?” Amelia inquires, slowly becoming more animated as the idea settles in.

“Yeah, I have three rooms to fill in my apartment. My other roommates moved out but I want to re-sign the lease.”

“Um, wow,” Amelia is stunned by the obviousness of it. “Okay, me? I will be a roommate.”

They continue walking towards the cafeteria and Maggie turns to her, giving her an incredulous stare.

“We’re in the same intern class….” Maggie frowns. “We’re going to be around each other literally 24/7….you wouldn’t actually want to….live together, too?”

“I would,” Amelia persists. “I’m….crashing on my brother’s couch right now,” she mutters, embarrassed by the confession. “I would quite honestly rather live anywhere else.”

“I barely know you.” Maggie exclaims in disbelief.

“So! I’m great. I’m...I’m the best. Best roommate ever. I promise you won’t regret it.” Amelia grins hugely, wiggling her brows, trying to sell herself. And Maggie laughs, shaking her head.

They sit at a table, and Maggie unpacks the lunch she’s brought with her.

“Really,” Amelia tries again. “I’m a clean person. I do the dishes...most of the time. I pay rent on time. Always. And I’m fun, and-”

“Okay!” Maggie laughs. “Okay. You….you’re overselling it now. You can have one of the rooms.”

“Yes!” Amelia loudly squeals, and the outburst makes heads turn throughout the cafeteria. She quickly pipes down. “Sorry….you won’t regret it.”

Maggie just shakes her head, taking a bite of salad.

“So….” Amelia speaks up again after letting Maggie get a few bites in. “What do you have against Meredith Grey?”

And similar to earlier, Maggie almost chokes on her food again. She slowly works on swallowing her bite of salad before she speaks.

“I don’t have anything against Meredith Grey,” she mutters.

“Ha,” Amelia laughs sarcastically. “Your eyes just about burst through your head earlier when you found out Lexie was related to her. What’s up?”

“It’s a long story.”

“Hey, we’re roommates now. Spill.” Amelia folds her arms across her chest, leaning back in her seat.

Maggie glances around the room before she leans in, beginning to speak softly. So softly Amelia almost doesn’t hear her. “I came here….to Seattle Grace….I applied for this internship because my birth mother worked here. She was kind of….like a legend here.”

“Okay….”

“And I didn’t think I’d actually land the internship….”

“Okay….”

“And then I got the internship and….and I didn’t think I’d actually see her, or be working with her-”

“Who? Your mom?” Amelia interrupts.

“No,” Maggie breathes. “No….Meredith.”

Amelia just frowns, still not understanding how this ties together.

“Ellis Grey is my birth mother.”

And now it’s Amelia’s turn to choke on her food. Except she’s not currently eating anything. So, it’s more like she’s choking on air as she grips the edges of the table in shock.

But before she can voice her surprise, Winston approaches the table, sitting down to join them. And Amelia breathes out a huge breath. Glancing at Maggie and miming the motions as if she’s zipping her mouth shut.

Winston definitely notices the strange energy, and he looks between the two in confusion.

“I’m….” Amelia pipes up. “I’m going to go check on my patient in the pit. You two enjoy lunch.”

Amelia stands up, winking at Maggie mischievously, before heading for the door.

_______

(Hour 16)

16 Hours in and Amelia finally decides it’s time to eat something. She’s been on her feet all day, running labs and doing scut work for Karev. The patient she was supposed to have discharged earlier, is currently waiting on the neuro consult she’d ordered. So it feels like the perfect time to take a small break.

She’s been so busy, she’s barely even thought about food. Her stomach rumbles loudly as she makes her way back through the dimly lit basement, seeking out the vending machines she knows are down here. She could have picked any of the vending machines in the hospital, honestly, but she’s chosen this route because she likes the quiet, and hopes to have a moment to herself to unwind.

She rounds the corner, letting the subtle hum of the vending machines bring her comfort. But the moment doesn’t last.

“Hey, Shepherd!”

Amelia jumps, clutching a hand to her chest as her eyes settle on Link, where he’s once again sitting on the abandoned bed in the hallway.

“Shit, you scared me.” She exhales shakily.

“Sorry,” he smiles, then turns back to the textbook in his lap.

Amelia walks past him, continuing towards the vending machines. She considers the options in front of her, before deciding on a granola bar and an energy drink.

“You kind of stole my idea,” she mumbles as she turns around to face him.

“Hm?” he looks up from his book.

“I was going to come down here, and be all quiet and alone for a minute,” she smirks.

“Well, great minds think alike, I guess?” He laughs. “You can sit.”

Amelia gazes up at him through a pointed stare, biting the inside of her cheek as she weighs her options. She truly had been seeking a peaceful moment to herself before she realized Link was down here.

“And I can be quiet,” he adds, watching her think it through.

But she decides. She gives in and climbs onto the mattress, resting her back against the wall. She yawns hugely as she settles in a comfortable seated position, legs outstretched in front of her, mirroring Link’s current position.

“Those aren’t very good for you, you know,” he smirks, nodding towards the energy drink in her lap.

“What are you, a doctor or something?” she bites back sarcastically.

“Trying to be.”

Amelia smiles, popping open the drink and taking an exaggerated first sip. Link just shakes his head at her, turning back to his book.

Amelia sighs a few seconds later. “Is it just me....or do you feel like you have no idea what you’re doing?”

Link turns his head to the side, lifting his eyes from his book to her tired expression.

“I get that.”

“I mean,” Amelia lets her head roll to the side too, in his direction. “I was top of my class at Harvard. I really thought I’d have an impressive first day.”

“You….were late this morning….” Link stifles a laugh, squinting at her.

Amelia rolls her eyes. “Yeah….not off to a great start. You’re right.”

A moment later Link slams his textbook closed, muttering something about trying to squeeze in a nap while he can. He leans his head back against the wall, letting his eyes shut.

“Oh, come on,” Amelia mutters playfully. “Sleep is for the weak.”

“Sleep is extremely important,” Link responds, eyes still closed. “And I’m not sleeping, I’m just resting my eyes.”

Amelia laughs under her breath. “Sure.”

“Really,” he continues. “Resting your eyes? Feels fantastic. You should give it a try.”

Amelia doesn’t respond to this, instead taking another sip of her drink.

“Afraid you’ll fall asleep?” Link inquires a moment later, opening his eyes to glance sideways at her.

“No. I can rest my eyes without falling asleep.”

“Sure.”

Amelia watches as he resumes his previous position, his eyes slipping closed as he rests against the wall.

“Is this some sort of competition?” She mutters.

“I’m not competitive.”

He’s smug, Amelia thinks, as she stares at his restful expression. She sets her drink on the windowsill behind her, and lets her own eyes come to rest. It feels good to close her eyes. Way too good.

A moment later she hears Link whisper “I told you.” At least she thinks that’s what she hears. Her consciousness is beginning to slip away from her. And it’s hard to pull herself out of it, or to even think about separating exhausted imagination from reality.

When Link’s pager goes off several minutes later, his eyes shoot open. The sound of it doesn’t even cause Amelia to stir. He turns to look at her. Her long hair covers half of her face, but he can tell by the pattern of her breathing that she’s fallen asleep. Link smiles to himself, deciding not to wake her. She had initially come down here seeking a moment to herself, and Link was going to let her have it. His pager beeps again and he stands up, quickly on his feet and moving through the hallway.

_______

When Amelia eventually wakes up, she has no idea how much time has passed. The first thing she notices is that she’s alone now. Link’s abandoned textbook sits open next to her. It’s much darker in the basement now, with less light coming in through the window. She frowns, checking her pager.

And that’s when she notices the red blinking light.

Signifying her pager is dying. Or needs new batteries. Or something. She doesn’t know. It’s her goddamn first day and she has no idea how this works.

She curses to herself, springing up from her seat and practically running towards the stairwell.

_______

By the time she reaches the pit, she’s completely out of breath. Her eyes scan the ER, trying to locate her patient from earlier. The patient she was supposed to have discharged. But instead of following Karev’s orders, she had called a neuro consult, because she knew that the case was something more. And now, as she stands in the ER, she completely regrets her decision to venture off to the basement and wait for a confirmation page from neuro. That decision was currently biting her in the ass.

Because now her eyes settle on the current situation.

She watches as Karev begins transport of her patient. Her mouth drops open, stunned as Karev kicks the hospital bed into movement, beginning to transport her patient to the OR. She grows even more stunned as she watches Link grab the rails on the other side of the bed, moving with Karev towards the elevator.

“Wait,” she steps forward. “Wait! That’s my patient, what-”

“Not anymore,” Alex growls. “It’s a tumor, Shepherd. No longer your case.”

“Right,” Amelia keeps pace with them. “I’m the one that called the neuro consult. I knew it! I knew that-”

“Shepherd-”

“That’s my patient!”

She stumbles backwards a bit as they navigate the bed to enter the elevator. She makes eye contact with Link as she watches them step into the elevator.

“Like I said,” Alex mutters, pressing the elevator button to the OR floor once they’re settled inside. “Not anymore. Maybe answer your page, next time.”

Her shock turns to anger as she holds eye contact with Link, and Karev’s words settle in.

“Beds 1-4 need stitches, can you manage that?”

The elevator doors come to a close and irritation flashes through her hot and fast. Because Atticus Lincoln, mr. ‘I'm not competitive,’ had just stolen her patient. Tricked her into falling asleep and then stolen her surgery.

_______

She tries to suppress her anger as she does scut work for the next few hours. As the time passes, she focuses on her bedside manner, and tries to improve her suture technique. Her anger subsides, and it gets replaced with disappointment. Mostly disappointment in herself. Because this was nobody’s fault but her own.

This was a surgical internship at one of the top hospitals in the country. It was allowed to be competitive. They were allowed to be sharks.

By the time she discharges her last patient in the pit, she’s feeling a lot of things. The feeling that stands out the most though, is the exhaustion.

_______

(Hour 24)

Amelia basically moves on autopilot as she exits the locker room, shrugging her jacket on and moving through the hospital’s corridor.

Her eyes feel heavy and all she can think about is going home and immediately going to sleep.

Her anticipation is interrupted, though, when she sees Link walking a few feet ahead of her. She stares at the back of his head, trying to remember any of the angry words she’d had for him earlier. But she’s just so tired, and she’s drawing a blank.

He comes to a stop in front of her, pausing in front of the bulletin board just outside of the cafeteria. Amelia slows her pace as she watches him read something on the board, and then he’s ripping off part of a flyer.

She catches up with him, not managing to walk slowly enough to avoid him completely. He notices her approach and almost instantly, a remorseful expression takes over his face.

They fall into step with each other. And Amelia clears her throat.

“Will you at least tell me how it went? With the tumor?”

Link nods sheepishly. “He’s in recovery now. The other Dr. Shepherd, who I’m guessing is your brother?” Amelia nods. “He removed it all, no problems.”

“That’s good,” Amelia mutters.

They approach the exit, and Link holds the door open as they make their way into the parking lot.

“I didn’t mean to steal your surgery, you know,” Link speaks up again, his tone apologetic. “I just….answered the page.”

Amelia smirks.

“Don’t feel bad. If you want to be a shark, be a shark.”

Link genuinely looks conscious-stricken at her words.

“I’m kidding,” Amelia adds. “It was pretty much my fault.”

Link looks down, crumpling the paper he’d taken from the bulletin board, and twisting it in his palm.

“What’s that?” Amelia inquires.

“Roommates wanted,” Link exclaims, smoothing out the paper and reading the brief description.

Amelia’s face falls.

“No,” she’s laughing now. “No way.”

“What?”

“You can’t be one of our roommates.”

“Who is ‘our’?” Link frowns.

“That’s Maggie’s ad,” she laughs. “And I already claimed a room, so I get a say here.”

“Well I think I’m going to inquire with Maggie,” Link smirks. “I just so happen to be looking for a new place right now. So, I kind of feel like I was meant to see this,” he holds up the paper.

Amelia sighs.

“I’ll get to her first,” she mumbles, beginning to turn towards her parked car. “And give her my input.”

The sun is starting to come up. 24 hours since the last sunrise. 24 hours since the start of their first shift. Amelia gazes up at the sky, grateful that it’s over. But grateful that it happened. Grateful to have the first day under her belt.

“Shepherd,” Link interrupts her thoughts. “I think I’ll be getting to Maggie first.”

“Huh?” She turns to him, and notices how he’s started walking in the opposite direction.

She catches up to him.

“We’re going to Joe’s,” he states, as Amelia steps into pace with him. “The bar across the street. Apparently it’s open 24 hours….but that’s on the down-low.”

Amelia halts, coming to a standstill.

And Link frowns, slowing to a stop when he notices her hesitation. “Jo, Maggie, Winston, Lexie….everyone, I mean. To celebrate a successful first shift?”

Amelia’s heart sinks. She hates this part. Hates having this conversation with anyone her age.

“I don’t drink,” she admits, clawing her palms with her fingernails as her arms drop to her sides.

“Okay,” Link says simply. “They have food there, right?”

She has to question whether she’s heard him right. Because she was waiting for the ‘why not?’ For the confused stare. Or for the uncomfortable chuckle. Which he offers none of. She was so prepared for the interrogation, that his reaction actually stuns her a little.

“Or music?” Link adds, when he realizes that Amelia is stuck inside her head a little. “Food. Or music. Or games? Shepherd, I know I said I’m not competitive, but that’s a whole different story when it comes to darts-”

“Okay,” she finally breathes, trying to hide her smile.

“Okay, you’ll come?”

Amelia nods, starting to walk again. Link catches up with her and she guides them towards Joe’s. They cross the street just as the sun comes up.

#amelink #amelink fanfic #amelinkfic #amelia shepherd #atticus lincoln #amelia x link #greys anatomy fanfic #greys anatomy fic #grey's anatomy fanfic #grey's anatomy fic #my writing #maggie pierce #winston ndugu #jo wilson #alex karev #lexie grey #amelinkfanfiction #if the sun comes up

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owlsbride · 3 years

Text

Icha Icha and Prejudice: The Book Club

Chapter IV: That Inner Voice

Eleven o'clock in the morning and Sakura was already upset. It was her first official vacation day, and it didn't start it as she had hoped. She had planned to sleep late, wake up in the most glorious and easy possible way with the felling of a long needy rested body. After all, she had to realise that Shizune and the Hokage were right, she needed to rest for a while, she was reaching the limits of her strength, and like this, she wasn't going to last long. So even if she was still a bit mad about the resolution, she finally came to terms with it, and it was ok.

What she has not been able to imagine was that after her furious outburst in the Hokage Tower, yesterday night, she would find herself immersed in a crazy game that Kakashi planned in less than a minute just to annoy her, disturb her, and of course, tease her. Dammed, he was smart. God, she hated that man.

'Yeah, tell yourself that till you believe it.'

Suddenly, she repeated Kakashi's recent message in her mind with a highly pitchy tone. It was not her sensei's voice, though.

'Hello there, Sakura.'

So she was back. After years of silence, her bitchy inner Sakura's voice came back to torment her mind and life. She turned on the bed, sinking her head in the pillow ready to grumble, and silent a scream of fury trying to escape from her frustrating throat. Perfect timing for the remarkable comeback. Perfect timing.

After her teen years, Sakura, under the Godaime tutelage, decided that inner Sakura was no longer necessary. She was pretty capable of analysing all the facts in front of her as well as her feelings, thoughts and attitudes, she no longer needed her alter ego to push her to act in this or that way, nor to show her the right path when she was lost. Generally, the correct direction of the inner Sakura was always the wrong one, but that she had only been able to see it after her failed attempt of relationship with Sasuke or any other man in the village.

The inner Sakura was impulsive, arrogant, prejudiced, and without a doubt much more daring than Sakura herself, and that did not suit her.

So, one morning, and just like that, the work, stress and the effort to make her inner voice disappeared went straight to the trash been, cause she was loudly back.

'Don't tell me that you didn't miss me.' the voice in her head said almost sad.

"No, I didn't. Not even a tiny bit." Great, now Sakura was talking to herself out loud.

'You are harsh with both of us, Sakura'

"No, I'm not. I worked hard for you to shut up, so, please..." Sakura pleaded.

'And yet, here I am.'

"What do you want?"

'The question is, what Do You want' annoying or not, inner Sakura's question was accurate and sharp. What was what she wanted?

"Arghh... fine! If you are here to stay, I hope, at least, for you to be useful."

'I'm all yours. Now get up, girl, we have things to do.'

Sakura finally accepted that the voice was back and resolved to went through everything with her in her mind. She didn't have much of an option, cause apparently, inner Sakura was not going to disappear any time soon. It was better to have a good relationship with her mind at this moment. Three weeks off was too much to think on her own. Maybe she had called her back. Perhaps it was a coping mechanism to go through her own personal hell with Icha Icha. Inner Sakura could be much more helpful with her sharp, bold thoughts. She was a natural teaser and a skilful trickster at times. She was the not so innocent part of her mind that incited thoughts that Sakura preferred to suppress. The inner Sakura's silence was what had allowed her not to have sex in all this time, putting all her libido in her work, making her see each man who passed by the hospital as an object of study and not as a possible good laid. Except maybe for Kakashi.

Hatake Kakashi, the Rokudaime, her Lord Sixth, her eternal sensei. The very same, that when he got sick or came back injured from a mission, he just wanted to be cared for by her. The one used to listen to her ramblings every day about new ideas, supporting all her projects. The one that one way or another was always by her side. Kakashi, the man with silver hair who aroused the entire village's curiosity and sighs even though no one, not even her, knew what was under the mask. The same man who could be severe enough to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, but who also read Icha Icha in public and even dared to flirt with her without shame or openness.

'You're so into him.' Inner Sakura spoke again suppressing a laugh.

"Oh please, It's not like that." Sakura dismissed her.

'How long are you going to live in denial, Sakura?'

"What do you mean?"

'Can't you see it for your own?'

"No..."

'Thank god I'm here then.'

Sakura stopped the conversation with her inner self because she really needed a cup o coffee first. She had spent the first hours of her morning texting with Kakashi and talking to herself, and it was already exhausting. How was she supposed to survive both of them? Passing by her living room to the kitchen, Sakura directed her view to the orange book on the table. Sooner or later, she would have to start reading. But first thing first: Breakfast.

After almost half an hour, Sakura finally was ready to face her destiny and her thoughts.

'Are you ready?' Inner Sakura was jumping all over her mind like a child in a kermesse.

"I guess..." Sakura answered nervously sitting in her couch, crouching her legs and taking the book in her hands.

'Imagine the things he had done with that book' Her mind was torturous libidinous.

"Let's just don't think about it, ok?"

'Oh, come on, don't act as if you were a virgin Sakura... Just imagine, the shower, the couch, the bed...'

"Please, don't be grossed" Sakura answered blushing deeply. Something burning was forming inside of her, and she was sure it wasn't just her chakra.

'You slut, you have already thought about that. You are so hot with him.' Inner Sakura was celebrating.

"Shut up."

Chapter I: The sunset. The light was slowly extinguishing on the cornfields making the shadows that were projected throughout the space even more orange. The summer rain's soft scent had left a persistent sweet aroma mixed with the lavenders that were only a few meters from where she was standing. The heat and humidity created a soft layer of sweat on her body, mixing her own body scent with that of her surroundings. She knew that she must have run away as soon as she saw him arriving at the village. Instead, she only could make it to the cornfield, a familiar place for both of them.

So cliche, Sakura thought with a grin on her face. She was sure that Kakashi was having it way harder than her. Though she had to recognise that even if Jiraiya didn't have Jane Austen's prose, it wasn't that bad. So far, it was an easy, perfectly innocent reading.

'Really Sakura? is that what you are thinking? A neat prose?' Inner Sakura jumped in her mind again a bit upset because up to now Sakura wasn't able to find nothing too thrilling in the first pages. Sakura didn't pay her any attention and kept reading, she was starting to relax about this whole thing of Kakashi's little obsession. It wasn't that bad.

He followed her without hesitation. He knew he would find her staring at the horizon, waiting for the night breeze to cool her feverish skin. She had always liked to feel the summer wind run across her ivory skin, bristling the hair on her arms, making her shiver. Her tousled hair floating freely, like her thoughts. He knew he would find her there, and right there, he would claim her just for himself.

Sakura sighed, the things were already starting to heat up but in a really smooth and slow path. The Sannin knew how to build tension and, what she heard Ino said once, a good slow-burn romance scenario. Inner Sakura was in silence, and she was immensely enjoying the reading. Actually, she was starting to think that she could spend the entire day at home reading. After all, it wasn't that hard.

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

Sakura looked for her cellphone. Inner Sakura was already starting to complain about the interruption, but she suddenly stopped.

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

18:30 H.Kakashi: Yo!

18:30 H.Kakashi: What are you doing, Sakura?

Sakura didn't know if to answer and play difficult, Inner Sakura was highly excited about those short, silly messages. Of course, Sakura answered, she had to follow the inner lead.

18:32: Hello, Sensei

18:32: Reading, you?

Sakura didn't come back to the book. She just fixed her stare in the device in her hand.

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

18:35: H.Kakashi: And?

Kakashi wasn't going to answer her, she was sure. She would have to give him something first. She knew her sensei like the palm of her hand.

18:36: It's ok so far

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

18:36 H.Kakashi: What?

18:36 H.Kakashi: Just ok?

18:37 H.Kakashi: Do you even know how to read, Sakura?

Sakura burst to laugh out loud in her home alone. He was such a spoiled child.

18:40: Yes Hokage Sama, it's ok, I haven't read much yet.

18:40: What about you? Working? Reading?

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

18:41 H.Kakashi: Actually, both.

18:41: And?

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

18:42 H.Kakashi: Work, awful, reading, quite interesting.

18:42 H.Kakashi: Tell me, Sakura, is it possible?

Sakura asked herself what was he talking about, Inner Sakura, invited to re questioned him.

18:45: What?

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

18:46 H.Kakashi: To have five daughters and take care of all of them, in a simple civilian life, plus a wife and listen to them all the time talking without a stop

Sakura laughed again.

18:47: So... You are feeling bad for the poor Mr Benett, right?

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

18:47 H.Kakashi: Who wouldn't...

18:48 H. Kakashi: Listen Sakura...

And for a moment he didn't say anything more.

18:55: What now?

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

18:55 H.Kakashi: Would you like to have dinner? Unless you already have plans. We don't need to talk about the books, in fact, we don't have to talk at all

Sakura stood frozen. What was wrong with him. Even if it was just a simple text, she could read need in his words.

'Don't you dare to say no' Inner Sakura adverted, forming a fist with her imaginary hand.

19:00: Rough day?

Bzzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

19:00 H. Kakashi: You can't imagine.

Sakura smiled.

19:01: Then you'll have to tell me.

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let-it-raines · 4 years

Text

CS Fic Rec Monday

I hope you’re all staying safe and inside as much as physically possible! I said I was going to do this weeks ago, but I finally remembered to queue it all up! Here are some dang good multi-chapter fics you can curl up with! You’ve probably already read them if you’ve been around for awhile, but rereading is fun, too! Plus, I know these writers would get excited to see a new comment or two 😘

-/-

As Real As You Want it To Be by @ive-always-been-a-pirate: Teaching at the same school as Killian Jones was both infuriating and distracting, but when he throws Emma under the bus for the final time, she devises a plan to get back at him. After all, nobody likes to go to a wedding alone. Time for some CS AU fake dating.

Warm Nights and Firelight by @oubliette14: When in the wake of a messy breakup Emma makes the impulsive decision to return home to her parent's ranch in the Rockies, she certainly doesn't expect to find a strange Irish guy living in what was once her apartment over the garage, and she definitely doesn't imagine that the home she couldn't wait to be rid of five long years ago would be the very place her heart begins to heal.

If Looks Could Kill by @wellhellotragic: Emma Swan is a dedicated FBI agent getting over a bad breakup. When she and her partner, Ruby Lucas, are forced to go undercover as contestants on a reality show, Emma is forced to try and win the affections of Killian Jones, a man she despises.Killian Jones is a lost boy. Having recently been nicknamed the ‘Bad Boy of Boston,’ he’s been living up to his moniker using women and rum to avoid dealing with his dark past. When he’s forced to take the lead in a reality show, he encounters a gorgeous blonde who turns his world upside down. Miss Congeniality meets The Bachelor.

The Reason by @xemmaloveskillianx: The three of them share a laugh before they all look to Emma. She has yet to comment on the new addition because she isn’t sure what to say. She usually doesn’t like change, they have a good thing going there, just the four of them. Plus, they all know him and she doesn’t, but she trusts their judgement, and she’s sure any brother of Liam can’t be all that bad.So, with a shrug and a smile she says, “Welcome to Storybrooke, Killian Jones.

The Wife by @ineffablecolors: No one knows all that Emma has been through and certainly no one knows all that Killian has been through and being husband and wife doesn’t make them any less unknown to each other. And really, how can you help someone heal when you don’t even know how hurt they are?

Beauty in the Aftermath by @high-seas-swan: Confronted with the sudden appearance of her birth parents, Emma, in a moment of panic, flees. She flees the diner, Storybrooke, the country. She finds herself a day later in the Dublin, Ireland Airport terminal wondering what the hell she has gotten herself into. With some fear, a little determination and a considerable amount of faking it along the way, she sets off on a trip she never planned on taking but needed more than she ever knew. She finds herself, she finds a Brit adrift on his own journey and finds out what home really means.

Playing the Part by @shireness-says: As a stage manager who's clawed her way up from the bottom, Emma Swan can handle just about anything thrown her way. But does that include handsome lead actor Killian Jones? A CS Broadway AU.

Love, Kindness, and Other Useless Things by @joneskillian: CS AU, set in 1815. Lord Killian Jones is haunted by the demons of his past which makes him nowhere near the man he once was, so he can't be the father he wants to be. And above all, he believes he is undeserving of love. Perhaps with Emma that is all about to change. But falling in love is never easy, that's just how it is.

Something Like You Love Me by @bemusedbicycle: Emma decides the best way to get Mary Margaret off her back about Walsh is to say she already has a boyfriend. Except she doesn’t. That’s where Killian comes in. Fake!Engagement fic.

a one time thing (and other untruths) by @weezlywrites: "She supposes the reason she tells him is the same reason she kept his phone number after all those weeks." Pregnancy has a way of throwing a wrench in one's plans.

Alone, until I get Home by @peglegsjones: In Boston, Henry Swan's six-year-old brother Ian finds a book titled "Once Upon a Time" hidden beneath the seat in their mom's old yellow bug. As soon as Henry touches it, he remembers.Season 3 Canon Divergence-Emma finds out she's pregnant a few weeks after she and Henry leave Storybrooke with new memories and new lives. Nearly seven years later, another Dark Curse puts her family in danger, and Emma must return to Storybrooke to help them.Who's powerful enough to cast the Dark Curse? And how the hell is she going to tell Hook they have a son together?

Knock, Knock by @charmingturkeysandwich: Emma Swan has made the best of her crappy apartment ever since she became best friends with her neighbor, Ruby. But when Ruby moves out and a loud Brit takes her place, the thin walls and lack of space are suddenly not so endearing. After a particularly stressful day, Emma decides to confront the nightmare next door, and entirely against her better judgment, she might just be making a friend.

These Nights Aren’t Made For Thinking by @nowforruin: AU. Emma Swan came to Portland, ME to start over. She's got a job she loves, but when a particular case gets under her skin, she finds herself visiting the Jolly Roger and its curious bartender, Mr. Killian Jones, more often than she thinks is wise. But some nights aren't made for thinking. Captain Swan.

On the Two by @lifeinahole27: He’s one bad trip from ending up in AA, and she’s one performance away from a solid job and moving closer to home. Their paths were unlikely to cross until Camp Hope brought them together. How and why they meet and intertwine is against the odds, and definitely against the rules, but will that really stand in their way? A Dirty Dancing inspired modern au.

Separate Lives by @lenfaz: Set after 3x20 "Kansas". After saving the town one more time, Emma decided to return to New York, leaving her past behind. Three years later, she realizes that might be not have been the best decision.

Natural Opposite by @searchingwardrobes: Dance is more than Emma Swan’s career; it’s practically saved her life on more than one occasion. But when it comes to reality TV shows, she’s always danced in the shadows of her twin brother David and her sister Elsa. Her first season as a pro on Dancing With the Stars was a disaster, and she enters her second season determined to prove herself. All she needs is a good partner. Hollywood bad boy and ladies’ man Killian Jones isn’t what she had in mind.

Walking in a Straight Line by @msgenevievee: It’s one of the oldest stories in the book. Two old friends have a few too many drinks, two old friends share a kiss. Happens all the time, right? But what happens when only one of them actually remembers it?

Out of the Frying Pan by @welllpthisishappening: Emma Swan is only doing this for one reason, well, make that two. To get her show's numbers back up and, maybe, impress her son. She doesn't like admitting to that second one though.Killian Jones is doing this for absolutely, positively, just one reason. To expand his restaurant. And maybe get Regina off his back. So that's kind of two reasons.Neither one of them is doing a year-long Food Network all-star competition because they're celebrity chefs and there's not really any other choice. Of course not. And neither one of them is enjoying it because they maybe, kind of, sort of enjoy each other. That would be insane.

A Cold Awakening by @swanderful1: Modern crime AU. Twenty years have gone by since Storybrooke was shaken to the core by a gruesome crime that went unsolved. Sheriff David Nolan and his partner, daughter Emma are forced to revisit the crime. At the same time, Killian Jones and his older brother Liam have been drawn back to the town they had longed to never see again, struggling to find their own answers. As taunting notes and clues show up they are taken on a journey to finally bring justice for the Jones family. And Emma Nolan finds herself caught in a situation more dangerous than she could have ever imagined.

Beyond the Horizon by @alexandralyman: AU: When Princess Emma's ship is captured by the Jolly Roger and Captain Killian Jones, she offers herself as a hostage for ransom if he will let the ship and the other passengers go. With Emma, Killian remembers the honour he once held dear, and Emma catches glimpses of the gentleman Killian had been. Against all odds, the pirate and the princess begin to fall for each other.

#csfrm #cs fic rec #cs fic #cs ff rec #Captain Swan #queue poetic noble land mermaid

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annypuff · 3 years

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Hello! How are you? I hope you are doing well ☺ i had a question for you! I want to get into digital drawing, but I don't have a tablet, and honestly not much money either HAHA. Do you have any recommendations on what type of tablets I should be looking at? Or even some tips? I would really appreciate it! Your art is amazing

hi!! i can tell you personally what i’ve been through if that will help! sorry, i get super into these things!!! lol so this is gonna be long, sip some water and grab a snack lol

i started digitally drawing in 2005 on ms paint with just a mouse haha.. and it wasn’t until maybe like 2009 i got a wacom bamboo fun tablet! which isn’t the kind with a display. I got it for like, $60-70CAD at the time, at one point had to replace it but it was still the same style of tablet.. and i had been drawing with it for over a decade! I was using ms paint but at some point i switched over to adobe’s flash (like an old version that i was able to get for free) and then paint tool SAI (which i got a “portable” version of... aka pirated lmao) anyways, wacom is on the pricier side but ive heard many great things about the brand huion? they’re a cheaper alternative and i believe they’re just as good! you definitely should watch some youtube videos about them though! so many of my friends (who are just casual artists, or just starting out!) just bit the bullet and got huion branded stuff and they love it so far.

however, some people have come up to me about how they can’t seem to fathom drawing without looking at their hand, so they opt for display tablets. this is where even ipads and other mobile tablets can come into play to. so i bought my display tablet, an old wacom cintiq, secondhand, just like, 2 yrs ago and i love it so much and i totally understand why people would rather skip the regular tablet “phase” and go straight into display tablets. it’s pretty much the closest thing to putting pen to paper except, digitally! but it is EXTREMELY pricey! you’re essentially buying a powered monitor lol depending on the sizes and brand, it can go anywhere between $300-2500! im going to mention huion again bc, yup!! very good alternative, more affordable brand! now if you’re thinking mobile tablets, i just recently got myself the samsung tab s6 lite, it’s a good mid-tier price and they support many other drawing programs and recently they released clip studio paint (what i use) for android and its fine so far! there’s many other mobile drawing software out there too, i suggest looking up on youtube as well as i cant seem to recall the names lol. but honestly, i only ever use it if i wanted to draw digitally on the go lol. this is very privileged of me. i know a lot of artists solely use their ipads and procreate, which i get why it’s so amazing but literally like that post i reblogged had said, it doesn’t matter what you have, it’s how you use it!!

currently i use clip studio paint as my software, but i bought it (on sale!! it goes on sale a few times a year) lol after i started making a stable income (again i feel very blessed) i also got SAI officially hahaha. i literally don’t know how to use photoshop properly :’D GIMP is a free drawing program, i think it reminds me of photoshop though so i didn’t really use it much. I actually haven’t gone around looking at any other drawing software, as i just keep advertising CSP to my friends and they also bought it.. so i would once again resort to youtube for that lol but i love CSP bc they have built in 3d models you can pose!! lol and backgrounds and other assets you can download, etc... when it’s on sale i goes down i think to 70? maybe less, i can’t recall. i don’t wanna advocate uh.. “portable” versions but uh... there’s that option too ;) (not sure if CSP has it but i think SAI’s is around somewhere on the internet...)

in the end, it really is an investment if it’s something you want to hone!! huion is something you should definitely look into and if you want to keep doing it in the long run, you can upgrade much later! I would say, if you can somehow test how well you can do with a non-display tablet, i would just go with that for budget purposes. if it wasn’t for my impulsive nature, i probably wouldve stuck with a non-display for a very long time lol.

oh also this is me assuming you have a laptop or a computer, if you’re running solely on mobile then an ipad alternative would be the samsung s6 tab lite, or anything similar, esp if you’re just going to be using it for drawing!

im so sorry this is so long LMAO my INFP ass just wants to be as helpful as i can... TLDR: try huion! LOL and trial versions of drawing programs!! to see which you feel more comfortable with hehe

#omg im so sorry anon i jsut flooded with so much info #i get REALLY passionate about this shit #if you have any SPECIFIC questions PLS dont hesitate to ask!!!!!

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faemytho · 5 years

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any sans x nightmare headcanons????

FUCK yeah man

ok so bear with me here im about to plot dump instead of headcanon but ill put headcanons of my own in i promise- for example, the entirety of nightmare's character

classic/nightmare ùwú

nightmare only visits the classic timeline three times before hes absolutely smitten with classic: the story

the first time was out of curiosity, when he was around 100 years old, because, c'mon, THE classic timeline? he wanted to see for himself what it was like - so he visits a timeline, picks a point in that timeline, and whoosh

he hasn't met killer, cross, dust, horror, or error yet, hes mostly just been on his own after the apple incident happened. and what ends up happening is he finds classic - or rather, classic finds him as hes wandering around the timeline

classic sneaks up on him, like how he does to frisk in the game - and nightmare, 100 years old, impulsive, and its definitely not because classic scared him, turns around and attacks

one of my hcs: classic is the best sans at dodging - which means he can easily dodge nightmares attacks

nightmare attacks, classic dodges, nightmare stops bc he sees classic and hes like "oh shit, a sans"

classic is totally chill as he starts talking to nightmare (asking who he is, buddy, and where he's from, "dont think ive seen you around before") but nightmare can sense how tense he is, and then points it out like a dumbass ("you feel awfully apprehensive for someone with such a clear calm look on his face. wonder how you got so good at hiding your emotions")

classic shrugs and just "you get a feel for it when everything keeps happening over and over again" except he totally jokes about it with this dumb grin and probably slips a pun in there too but i cant do that bc im absolute shit at puns

anyways nightmare digs a little deeper into classics feelings and he has to step back a little bit bc 'yo what' - classic feels something close to... admiration for him, towards him

nightmare squints and asks "have we met?"

and classic grins "i think we have."

bigger squint from nightmare "i havent met you."

and classic nods "you haven't met me before, but you're meeting me now."

nightmares so confused

but he ends up hanging around the timeline because classic is kinda very much really interesting - and classic treats nightmare as though he weren't a pseudo-god of negativity

classic is so nonchalant and even almost friendly towards him, which is something hes never really had before, so of course he wants to stay and drink in that feeling, but while he stays, he starts getting to know classic

and all the while, even when he gets upset or angry or snaps at classic over the smallest things, classic just smiles at him, that little persistent buzz of admiration or something still underneath that carefree smile

nightmare leaves one day, not rlly able to understand the feeling classics got, so he leaves to clear his head and just think about how classic feels about him, and what's even going on there (fellas, is it gay to analyze the innermost thoughts and feelings of your best(?) friend(???) nightmare doesnt even know)

so he tries to go back to the timeline, but he picks the wrong time, drawn in accidentally by negative energy now that he's actively thinking about emotional stuff - and he ends up standing behind a much younger classic, who just witnessed gaster fall into the core

this is classics first time meeting nightmare, but its nightmares second time meeting classic (this is also the second time hes entered this classic's timeline) - everyone keeping up?

so anyways nightmares tempted to just leave, but past classic has all those delicious negative emotions, so he ultimately has no choice but to stay and hang out with this (to him) younger (by not very much) version of classic

hes used to being around classic so past classic is of course, intrigued by how well nightmare knows his shticks, his favorites, and how nightmare even successfully puns back and forth with him and wins

nightmare accidentally succeeds in being a pillar of support for past classic and helps him through his grieving process (bc gaster got YOTE into the void man)

anyways after this, nightmare ends up saying goodbye to past classic and leaving again, bc as nice as this was, hes so fucking confused about how he feels about classic in general and things are all confusing still

and when he comes back (his third visit), he comes back at the correct point this time - not the first point, but just after the second point

keep up w me here

so nightmare kinda awkwardly talks to classic about his Feelings tm and how he originally met an older version of him later on in this timeline and all this fun timeline junk

and classic just takes this all in stride like "ok if it already happened in the timeline and you remember it, its fine if you tell me bc time works weird man"

anyways theyre not quite to the level i want them to be at yet BUT ill get them there bc

eventually time does move forward

and nightmare leaves and comes back after a while, to a classic who just had past nightmare meet him for the first time

and this is when nightmare lowkey confesses gay feelings for classic and they snuggle together maybe

and maybe just maybe they smooch a tinie lil bit

#sanscest #nightmare sans #my writing #fae's headcanons #utmv #ut sans #classicmare #mae writes utmv

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devinsfm · 4 years

Text

joe keery. cis male. he/him. ／ jack devin just pulled up blasting video killed the radio star by the buggles — that song is so them ! you know, for a twenty - four year old radio show host, i’ve heard they’re really impulsive, but that they make up for it by being so captivating. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say obscure vintage horror comics, blurry photographs of mysterious figures in the woods, and vivid descriptions of spine - chilling tales . here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble ! ( sam, 23, est, she/her )

hey there, demons ! *ba tum tss* i’m sam and i never do this, but i really felt like it was time for a change, so i drew lots of inspiration from some of my favorite ocs and i love what i’ve come up with ! character info is under the cut and please feel free to message me if you would like to plot !

i. stats

𝔣𝔲𝔩𝔩 𝔫𝔞𝔪𝔢: jackson willard devin

𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔣𝔢𝔯𝔯𝔢𝔡 𝔫𝔞𝔪𝔢𝔰: jack, spooky guy, the night watchman

𝔥𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔱𝔬𝔴𝔫: salem, massachusetts

𝔡𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔟𝔦𝔯𝔱𝔥: ocotber 31st, 1995

𝔷𝔬𝔡𝔦𝔞𝔠: scorpio

𝔬𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫: demisexual

𝔬𝔠𝔠𝔲𝔭𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫: host of the graveyard shift, a radio program airing every weeknight from 12am to 5am

𝔭𝔬𝔰. 𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔦𝔱𝔰: captivating, witty, resolute.

𝔫𝔢𝔤. 𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔦𝔱𝔰: impulsive, gauche, naive.

ii. history

jackson willard “jack” devin was born on halloween day ( yes, really ) in salem massachusetts ( yes, really ). his mother stayed home with him as he was growing up while his father is a boston cop turned sheriff of the county and he’s an only child.

outside of the popular tourist spots, his hometown has a very close - knit, stuck in the 80s vibe. it’s the sort of place where everyone knows everyone for their entire lives because no one ever leaves and no one new ever moves in. phone and internet signals are nearly impossible to come by, so the local arcade and the video store still have quite a booming business in the year 2020. jack grew up in a not - so - typical small town suburban gothic environment, his dad’s income being just enough for them to get by every month.

he was an energetic kid who cycled through all sorts of interests, trying out everything from little league ( disaster ) to music lessons ( not as much of a disaster, but he wound up getting bored of it ). nothing seemed to really stick until he got his first horror comic : a vintage issue of tales from the crypt with tattered, yellowing pages. he was five years old and paid five cents for it at an elderly neighbor’s yard sale and from that moment on he was hooked. it started with the comics, but he quickly expanded his horizons to movies, books, and television in the genre of horror.

he got intro drawing and that was the only thing besides his newfound interest in horror that he could sit still for. at first he would just try to re - draw the panels in his comic books, but soon he was drawing anything and everything that caught his interest and he was getting good. he was being homeschooled by his mother at the time, but once friends and family and, well, everyone took notice of his skill, they were encouraging his parents to nurture his talent.

his parents fought about it. his dad didn’t see the value in his skill and wanted him to instead focus on academics, aspiring towards his son one day becoming a lawyer or a businessman or even following in his footsteps. jack never wanted that for himself. he was homeschooled by his mom up until then and she believed in him. it was with her blessing that he would go to a real school for the first time at the age of fourteen, starting off his freshman year at a high school that was a thirty minute train ride away in boston and catered exclusively to youth who demonstrated an exceptional talent in some area of the fine arts.

jack did well in school, but his grades probably would have been a lot better still if he didn’t start purposely acting out as his relationship with his dad got worse and worse. he started skipping classes, getting caught trespassing in cemeteries at 2am, and smoking a lot of weed.

when it came time for college, jack planned to attend art school. he swears he did. he looked a few schools on the west coast to get away from his dad for a few years yikes and planned to apply, but on the deadline date he got so high that he forgot to submit his portfolios. yes, really.

he loaded up his van ( a turquiose monstrosity he painted to look like the mystery machine ) and headed out to california anyway after telling his parents that he would be attending UCLA. of course, they quickly found it that it was a lie and his dad was furious. the two got into a huge fight over the phone and things were said. the result is that jack and his father haven’t spoken to each other ever since.

he did lots of odd jobs while he was on the road and basically lived in his van, which didn’t change right away when he decided to settle in LA, but he eventually got a job fetching coffee for the late night employees at a local radio station.

it was the typical, cliché story : the regular late night host called out of work at the last minute, there was no one else around and they were going to be on air in ten seconds. jack was thrown in front of the microphone and told to think fast !

he did, and the listeners loved him for it. whether it was his ramblings about horror movies or his thick boston accent or his reckless use of swear words on live radio, he turned out to be a massive hit. the successful night earned him a gig as an occasional substitute deejay, and with each broadcast he grew more and more popular, and about two years ago he was finally given his own program.

the graveyard shift is a radio program that airs every weeknight from 12am - 5am in the los angeles area and on apps such as iheartradio. jack hosts the show as his ( thinly veiled ) alter ego the night watchmen and discusses topics such as the paranormal, conspiracy theories, and all things horror. it’s one of the most popular programs of the time slot in the country.

it’s something that he never expected or picturing himself doing, but now he can’t imagine doing anything else. he’s become really passionate about revitalizing the field and bringing radio into the 21st century. he signed a HUGE contract with the studio when his show first started and now he’s a quite well known radio personality in the area and across the country.

iii. extras

huge stoner. high as fuck 90% of the time, and the other 10% of the time he’s probably still high, just not as fuck.

well known for his on air antics. he’ll light a joint in the middle of his radio show, he’ll prank call a friend and broadcast it to the entire city, he’ll curse in every single sentence and skate by on the after hours excuse when he’s reprimanded for it. he’s so outlandish and bizarre and like nothing that’s ever been heard on the radio before, and it just draws people in.

he often seems shy in person, but it’s more like he’s just a little socially awkward, something which also shines through in occasional non - malicious but blunt remarks and general lack of regard for what people think of him. he really just...doesn’t care.

genuinely seems to believe it’s either halloween day and / or the year 1986 at any given moment as that’s about as recent as his pop culture references get. he’s never heard of the k*rdashians, he doesn’t know what the mcu is, and the phrase yeet means absolutely nothing to him. mention any of it to him and he’ll just stare blankly bc he honestly doesn’t have a clue.

HOWEVER, he did start the area 51 meme from last summer. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

still draws. especially if he has to still for a stretch of time, then he’ll take out his latest sketchbook ( he goes through a lot of them ) and start doodling. he’s still quite good, mostly in his favored comic - esque style.

BIG CHAOTIC ENERGY and ZERO IMPULSE CONTROL

a chatterbox with friends but don’t be fooled...he’s been giving his own dad the silent treatment for almost seven ( 7 ) years now. it’s his preferred method of expressing anger towards someone because he isn’t really a fan of confrontation, but he’s maybe a liiiittle bit stubborn.

most of the time he’s a really easygoing person, a good friend and very loyal to the people he cares about. well - meaning, not the best at advice but he’s more likely to try and cheer a person up anyway.

he has a pet pied ball python named the crypt keeper ( tkc for short ) who he sometimes just carries with him because he likes to just chill wrapped around jack’s hand and arm.

iv. wanted connections

maternal or paternal cousins ( their grandparents probably live in boston or new england but otherwise anything goes for this )

close friends

friends

guests on his radio show

fans / haters of his radio show

people who don’t like him / find him annoying

exes ( 1 - 2, can be on good or bad terms )

“casually dating” but it might get real complicated soon - allie james

( these are just ideas and i’m trash at coming up with stuff, so please don’t feel limited by what’s listed here. )

#excess:intro #drugs tw #i decided that i needed something new but i just ''created'' this ''new character'' instead #countdown until i mess up his name has officially begun

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elviefm · 4 years

Text

is that [JOE KEERY]? no, that’s just [ELVIE CROFT]. [HE/HIM] is [TWENTY-FIVE] years old and is a [NIGHT JANITOR AT CURTAIN CALL]. rumor has it they’ve been in town for [ONE MONTH]. on a good day, they’re [JOCUND & PERSPICACIOUS]. but watch out! they can also be [SCATTERBRAINED & OBSTREPEROUS]. [SCRAWNY BY WALLOWS] plays in my head whenever i think of them. can’t wait to see them around Springhill! [sam, 23, est, she/her]

hey there demons! *ba dum tss* i’m sam and this is one of my favorite muses ever so without further ado, character info is under the cut and please message me if you would like to plot!

i. stats

ｆｕｌｌｎａｍｅ：elvin tupelo croft

ｐｒｅｆｅｒｒｅｄｎａｍｅｓ：el, elvie, spooky guy

ｈｏｍｅｔｏｗｎ：salem, massachusetts

ｄａｔｅｏｆｂｉｒｔｈ：october 31st, 1994

ａｇｅ： twenty - five

ｚｏｄｉａｃ：scorpio

ｏｒｉｅｎｔａｔｉｏｎ：demisexual

ｏｃｃｕｐａｔｉｏｎ：night janitor at curtain call movie theater

ｐｏｓ．ｔｒａｉｔｓ：jocund, perspicacious, loyal, open - minded.

ｎｅｇ．ｔｒａｉｔｓ：scatterbrained, obstreperous, flippant

ii. history

elvin tupelo “elvie” croft was born in salem, massachusetts ( yes, really ) on halloween day ( yes, really ). he's an only child and his father is the district attorney for essex county, massachusetts while his mother owns a small local business that sells witchcraft supplies such as crystals, herbs, grimoires, and more. interesting fact: she’s the descendant of an accused witch, meaning that elvie is as well.

as it turns out, beneath of the surface of the few tourist attractions that it has to offer, salem has a small town, stuck in the past vibe. it’s the sort of place where everyone knows everyone all their lives because no one ever leaves and no one ever moves in. he grew up in this…eccentric…environment, living in the same house all his life and only ever leaving to visit his grandparents in boston.

he was five years old when he saw his first horror movie ( an apathetic teenage babysitter let him stay up long past his bedtime to watch nightmare on elm street ) and from that moment on he was HOOKED.

when he started school, two things about him became apparent: 1) he was highly intelligent and 2) he struggled greatly with tasks such as sitting still and staying focused. he was tested ( a few times, much to his irritation ) and it turns out that he has a genius level iq and adhd.

he could have been one of those child prodigies who finished high school at the age of ten and then college at the age of fourteen, BUT his parents decided that they didn’t want him to miss out on the experience of going through school with peers his own age.

HOWEVER, as the smartest kid in class with glasses and braces and an insatiable obsession with all things horror and halloween, he…was picked on. mercilessly. he never had many friends, but he was content to go right home after school and spend the rest of the day reading comic books or watching horror movies or researching local urban legends and paranormal stories.

so, when he got to his senior year of high school, he was a shoe - in to be named class valedictorian ( he was ) and he was even getting ivy league offers. of course, his parents mainly his father were really pushing him to attend college and elvie, genius level iq and all…didn’t want to go. he had a van ( a turquoise monstrosity painted to look like the mystery machine ) and he just wanted to drive. alas, his dad was absolutely NOT having it.

he attended harvard for both his pre law and law school studies, breezed through classes, graduated with honors at the top of his class and once he passed the bar exam there were countless job offers waiting for him. elvie ignored them all and finally embarked on that road trip he had been meaning to take.

he’s been on the road for about a year now and he’s traveled all over the country. he often breezes into a town or a city, lives in his van, and takes up some odd jobs to squeeze a few dollars out of before he inevitably gets fired for messing up or not taking the work seriously or getting high on the job. he arrived in springfield a month ago, continuing his pattern or having fun and exploring somewhere he’s never been before.

iii. extras

his name is elvin but basically no one ever calls him that. his own parents don’t even particularly like the name. long story. most people call him elvie and some who are super close to him just call him el.

BIG RYAN BERGARA ENERGY. a huge believer in the paranormal and urban legends, and one of his favorite things to do when he goes somewhere new is check out the local cemeteries and haunted locales. unlike ryan, the poor guy he’s definitely NOT a scaredy cat in fact, all his life there’s been this running joke that he doesn’t seem to be scared of anything, and who knows? maybe he isn’t.

has the most cartoonishly exaggerated boston accent that one could ever hope to hear, except he doesn’t seem to realize it at all.

10/31 blaze it he’s a HUGE stoner.

he’s got jokes. stay vigilant.

he’s OBSESSED with all things horror, halloween, and 80s. he makes a lot of film references that are often so obscure that most people don’t even catch them.

he’s a lawyer! at least in the state of massachusetts. however, this is not at all common knowledge because…

most people don’t know how smart he actually is as he intentionally plays dumb and he’s really good at it. being high all the time and his natural chaotic energy is quite helpful in hiding his intelligence. he just doesn’t like to be seen as smart, so the whole once - brilliant law student thing? not common knowledge whatsoever. he tries not to mention the college he attended by name at all, but if he has to then he lies and says that he went to salem state.

and yes, he has SO MUCH chaotic energy. he’s the kind of person who will stick a fork in his microwave just to see what would happen out of sheer boredom. he has two pet mexican redknee tarantulas named freddy and jason who he just…fucking loses track of every other day. his favorite drink is literally black coffee mixed together with a can of monster energy and 5 ( f i v e ) teaspoons of sugar. he is c h a o s. he has absolutely NO IMPULSE CONTROL whatsoever.

he has slight Daddy Issues™. slight. when he was born, his dad was hoping that he would get a star athlete kid who would go on to follow in his footsteps and one day become a successful, respectable lawyer but instead he got…elvie. he’s never outright said that he’s disappointed but he didn’t need to. elvie’s a really difficult person to rattle but every time, without fail, he ends a phone call with his dad and he’s in a bad mood for the rest of the day.

his car is this PIECE OF JUNK giant turquoise van that he painted to look like the mystery machine. her name is laurie strode.

even though he makes constant pop culture references about horror movies and the 80s, but outside of those areas he’s completely clueless about pop culture. like, he can recite the entire scripts of the shining and empire strikes back and ferris bueller’s day off word for word, but if someone tried to talk to him about the new beyonce song or the latest marvel movie he would just stare blankly.

he has a HUGE sweet tooth. his favorite food is halloween candy and his favorite candy is black licorice disgusting i know.

he takes adderall for his adhd and he’s usually good about keeping up with it. started keeping them on his person in college because he realized that his meds were getting stolen and it’s a habit he’s held onto that doesn’t really keep his shit from getting stolen.

he’s good at…A LOT of things because he’s a really fast learner. he can play the guitar, he can draw, he did drama in high school. he just has to watch someone do something once and then he can usually immediately do it himself. this skill doesn’t extend to physical activities such as sports, however. he’s terrible at those.

he’s basically a cartoon character

iv. wanted connections

best friend from salem who travels with him *will probably submit as a wc

friends

cousin ( their grandparents would probably be from boston but otherwise anything really goes for this )

his weed dealer

smoking buddies

people who don’t like him / find him annoying

i know there are a lot of business owners so : people he worked for who have since fired him for being an all around awful employee.

has stolen his adderall

maybe someone who knows how smart he really is

romantic connections!

( these are just ideas and i’m trash at coming up with these, so please don’t feel limited by what’s listed here. )

#springhillintro #bullying tw #drugs tw #medication tw #tl;dr what if shaggy from scooby doo was a real person

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t0ngue-tech · 4 years

Text

Binding Force

“Yuanfen is the fate, chance or binding force that brings this person and other people or objects together.”

↠angst, soulmateAU, based on this AU i found on pinterest (obvi i made some changes huhu)↞

word count: 12.6 k OH MY GOD

↠oneshot↞

A/N: hi everyone! ive been working on this for a while and i finally brought myself to finish it! enjoy ^-^

“And then let’s end the last hour in your dorm! How does that sound?”

“Perfect babe. Just perfect.”

In a few hours, Park Jimin was going to celebrate his 21st birthday and not only could he finally purchase alcohol legally and go to bars, he was going to be entering the long-awaited Yuanfen.

Yuanfen was a special moment in time for someone who was turning 21 because it meant the entire universe was going to freeze for 24 hours except for the birthday celebrant and their soulmate. The entire world was their oyster and excited was an understatement for Jimin and his girlfriend, Momo.

Jimin and Momo had been dating since Jimin’s sophomore year of high school while Momo was a freshman. They were close with each other’s families, they got accepted into the same university, and after dating for so long, they believed that they were meant to be. A lot of their friends believed it as well and no one could ever imagine them dating other people.

But, of course, they didn’t want to celebrate Jimin’s 21st birthday without their friends.

The university had a bar-like-lounge off-campus two blocks away from the main building that students frequented to and they all chipped in to rent one of the sections off to celebrate Jimin’s birthday there. Thankfully, his birthday landed on a friday and no one of their friends had a class on Saturday which meant they could drink till their hearts’ content.

“Something tells me Jungkook did something headass like make decorations of all the derp selfies I ever took.” Jimin held the door open for Momo and placed a hand on her lower back.

“I think you’re over exaggerating.” Momo grabbed onto Jimin’s hand and guided him through a section of tables, chairs, and clusters of people.

In a few more feet, Jimin could see photos of his head scrunched down until his chin reached his chest taped onto the wall and he stopped in his tracks. “Babe.” He sighed in defeat.

“What? I think you look handsome.” Momo gave him a peck on his cheek and pulled him by the hem of his shirt, leading him to the back room where all of the decorations were.

Once they stepped out of the walkway, streamers and confetti popped from either side of him and their friends, who were wearing homemade masks of Jimin’s derp selfies, all shouted at the same time, “Happy birthday, Jimin!”

↠↞

“Jungkook, you think you’re funny, huh?” Jimin ripped off the mask of his friend and put him into a headlock.

“Ow—ow! Hey! We all decided on this—even Momo!” Jungkook tapped out, constantly swatting at the sleeve of Jimin’s leather jacket.

“But whose big idea was it?”

“It was me and Jungkook’s.” You emerged from the side and attempted to help Jungkook who was still struggling to escape Jimin’s clutches. “Happy birthday!”

Jimin laughed and tossed Jungkook aside to wrap his arms around you. Jungkook, on the other hand, argued about how he let you off the hook instead of gathering you into a headlock. But you two weren’t listening.

“Where’s Taeyong?” Jimin asked.

“He’s buying another bottle of liquor just in case.” You emphasized the word ‘just’ as you fixed up his leather jacket. “I see you’re still enjoying my birthday present from last year.”

“Yes and thank you again. It goes well with a lot of my shirt.” Jimin show cased the white v-neck he wore underneath his leather jacket, striking poses as if there were paparazzi in the room.

“Y/n!” Momo jumped onto you, smothering you in a tight hug. “I fucking missed you! I haven’t seen you since midterms started.”

Momo was a dear friend of yours. You’ve known her since middle school and actually, you were the one who introduced her to your photography partner in yearbook back in freshman year. She profusely thanked you for introducing her to Jimin as the years went on and they were in a relationship. As a thank you, she introduced you to Lee Taeyong, a friend of hers from the dance team. This led to you and Taeyong dating since your sophomore year of high school.

The four of you were almost always together because Taeyong and Jimin became close friends through you and Momo. Your friendship only deepen because you all applied to the same university. There was complete trust between the four of you which meant that Momo didn’t mind if you hung out with Jimin and vise versa.

“After midterms, you and I need to go out and get a fucking drink together.” You gently spun her around, being cautious of her heels. “I hope you don’t mind if I steal her away from you for a bit, Jimin. She was mine first.”

Jimin smiled and gave you the ‘okay’. You walked towards a table, arm in arm with Momo, that carried all of the alcohol. It was going to be an amazing night, you could feel it in your bones.

Almost two hours had passed and within those two hours, Taeyong showed up with two more bottles of alcohol, Jungkook was already drunk and kissed Jimin on the cheek, twice, and Jimin was already five shots and multiple mixed drinks in.

Jimin was now sipping some water trying to sober up to be in the right mindset just in time for Yuanfen. He glanced around the room, satisfied that all of his friends were enjoying themselves.

Jungkook was trying to steal all of the snacks away from Seokjin, Taemin was pouring up another round of shots for Seulgi, Yoongi, and Namjoon, and You were sitting on Taeyong’s lap while Momo sat on yours. He was celebrating with a colorful group of friends that he wouldn’t for anything else in this world.

He found himself daydreaming about the full 24 hours he was going to have with Momo. The entire world around them was going to be put on pause and he was looking forward to wreak havoc on campus and certain parts of the entire dormitory with his soulmate.

“Baby.” Momo joined Jimin on the sofa and cuddled into his side, wrapping her arms around his torso. “Only five more minutes.”

Jimin kissed her forehead and squeezed her shoulder. “Why don’t we leave early, hm?”

She tilted her head to place light kisses all over his neck. “I think you need to calm your hormones for five more minutes.”

He snickered at the feeling of Momo’s lips tickling his skin. “How can I calm down when you’re dressed so beautifully?”

It already seemed like the world stopped around them because no matter where they were, Jimin only had eyes for Momo. He didn’t mind the people around them. The only thing that mattered to him whenever he was spending time with his girlfriend was his girlfriend and his girlfriend only.

“You two only have a couple of minutes left, keep it PG, please?!” Seulgi faked her gag and shielded her eyes.

“Cut us some slack!” Momo yelled back with a smile over the loud music.

Jimin looked at his phone and watched as 11:58 PM turned into 11:59 PM. There were still a lot of people who were enjoying their drinks in the lounge and all of his friends were constantly checking their phones and watches, shooting quick glances at him and Momo with suggestive smiles on their faces.

The last minute felt like an eternity and Jimin placed a hand on Momo’s knee. On an impulse, he cupped her cheek and gazed into her eyes.

“I love you.” Jimin said breathlessly.

“I love you, Jimin.” Momo raised her chin, capturing his lips in between hers.

Once their lips touched and eyes fluttered closed, there was the sound of a wind chime ringing throughout Jimin’s head. Something inside of him rattled inside of his chest and that feeling only meant one thing: it was Yuanfen.

Jimin was almost too excited to open his eyes, but he knew he had to stop kissing Momo at some point. He extracted himself away from her face and slowly, he opened his eyes until snapping them wide open.

At first he thought this was apart of the entire process of entering Yuanfen; the birthday celebrant would enter first and after maybe after a few minutes, their soulmate would enter too. But two minutes passed and Momo had her lips protruding out and eyes were still closed.

“M-Momo?” Panic shot right through Jimin’s body and he instinctively reached out to grab her hand, but even after doing so, Momo remained still.

This wasn’t happening.

Momo and Jimin ultimately believed with their whole heart that they were soulmates. They were supposed to be leaving the lounge right about now to raid the school’s cafeteria of their cookie dough ice cream sandwiches.

There had to be some sort of mistake.

“Tae-Taeyong?!”

Jimin didn’t realize that the music of the lounge was also put on pause until another voice bled out into the atmosphere; it wasn’t Momo’s.

Like his entire world was moving in slow motion, Jimin turned his direction to where the voice came from and found you roughly holding Taeyong’s face in your hands. He was stuck in a mid-laugh type of expression with you still balancing on his thigh.

“Taeyong, what—?”

“Y/n.” He called out and at the speed of light, you darted your attention towards and he noticed a panicked look in your eye.

↠↞

What in the actual fuck was happening?

You were sitting on the lap of Taeyong, your boyfriend, whom you loved with all of your heart. He was just telling you a hilarious story that happened in his economic class and next thing you knew, there was a delicate ringing sound inside your head. Every movement and sound was put on pause, everything but you.

You waited for Taeyong to finish his story and it finally clicked that he was frozen. Why was he frozen? Why were you able to move your limbs to clutch his face? It took you awhile, but you found your voice and called out Taeyong’s name. He still wasn’t answering. There had to be something incredibly wrong because the silence was deafening until the urgent sound sound of your name was being dispatched from across the room. To your shock, you were staring into the desperate eyes of Park Jimin.

“What time is it?” Jimin asked quietly.

“Um—“ You reached into your back pocket for your phone and with a barely audible tone you said, “12:06 AM.”

“B-But Momo is—“ He frantically looked back and forth from you to Momo. “Is this really Yuanfen?”

You climbed off of Taeyong’s lap and took another look around the room. You even walked out into the bar area where the other booths and tables were. All of the patrons were stuck in time; some were even tilting their head back to down a shot.

“Everyone is fucking frozen, Jimin.” You walked back into the room and Jimin was pacing back and forth trying to get one of their friends’ attention.

“This doesn’t make sense.” Jimin sighed, roughly running a hand through his hair. “Yuanfen is for soulmates. Momo and I—We—“

You could tell Jimin was trying to find the right words to say without offending you. “I know, Jimin. I love Taeyong so much. He’s my boyfriend and he’s—“ You walked over to Taeyong who still didn’t budge. “We can’t really be… you know… right?”

How could you say it? It was one word, two syllables and saying it would only make you feel guilty.

Your chest was starting to feel tight and tears welled up in your eyes. There was a point in your relationship where you also gave the idea of being soulmates with Taeyong some deep thought. You two had a late night conversation about what you wanted to do when Taeyong turns 21. He wore a bright facial expression as you two talked and it was clear that he also believed that you were his soulmate. But now that whole idea was crumbling at your feet and the pieces were too small to pick up and put back together.

Park Jimin was not your soulmate. He couldn’t be.

“This is fucking crazy. There has to be a loophole in this.” Jimin sat back down and whipped his phone out.

You carefully sat down next to him to peer down at his phone. He was googling something about Yuanfen and if it was possible to get soulmates mixed up.

It was always easy to sit beside Jimin. There was never a time where you felt uncomfortable around him except now. You kept enough space in between the two of you and looking at him started to hurt.

“Nothing.” Jimin tossed his phone to the side and buried his face in his hands. “There has been no cases about people having the wrong soulmate, Apparently the people who thought they had a different soulmate ended up marrying the one who they were with on Yuanfen—”

“Stop, Jimin. Please.” You stood up and rubbed your temples.

Hearing the word marriage made you squirm. Marrying Jimin? No offense, but you wouldn’t. He was like a brother-in-law because you treated Momo like a sister.

Oh, god. Momo.

Momo was a sister to you and if she found out that you were Jimin’s soulmate and not her…

“What are we supposed to do, Jimin?” You walked over to Momo and gently tugged at a strand of her hair.

Jimin blew out a breath and stuffed his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. “Let’s go outside for now. We need some air.”

He walked out first and you were hesitant in following him, not wanting to leave Taeyong, but he was right. Being in that room was suffocating you and you need to get away from it.

↠↞

The outside was no different than the lounge; students who were walking were stuck in one spot and cars were stopped. The only thing that wasn’t frozen was the cold air and brushed against Jimin’s face. He looked around and took a deep breath. Was it wrong to wish that he was dreaming?

You were a great girl; excellent grades, passionate about the things you loved, and selfless. He was always inspired to continue his dream to become a doctor because even if being a lawyer was going to take years of education, you were determined to become one. Despite all of these things, Jimin was in love with Momo. He has been for years and it didn’t make sense to drop every single day he spent loving her just because the beholders of true love turned the hands of fate onto you.

“Why the fuck is it so cold? It was nothing like this this morning.” You emerged from the lounge, tugging at your sweater sleeves to cover your hands.

“Well, the sun is hiding.” Jimin watched his breath dissipate into thin air.

You chuckled and stood inches away from Jimin. “So… what did you two have planned besides the obvious.”

Jimin laughed because he knew what you meant by ‘the obvious’. “Uh, escaping onto the rooftops and lots of eating. Starting off with the cookie dough ice cream sandwiches from the cafeteria.”

“It’s freezing and you two were gonna eat ice cream?”

It did sound absurd but there was a reason. “Yeah, it’s uh-it’s her favorite flavor so…”

You nodded and kicked a stray rock onto the asphalt road.

“Do you want to go to the cafeteria? Hopefully there’s a stock on the orange creamsicles you like.” The offer Jimin made sort of came out on an impulse. He didn’t want to spend his birthday doing nothing and if you two avoided the whole being-each-other’s-soulmate a while longer, maybe doing things with you wouldn’t be so bad.

“Uh-yeah. Yeah, sure.” Jimin was a bit afraid you were going to reject the idea, but was relieved at your willingness to go.

↠↞

“At least it’s warm in here.” You wrapped up the fourth popsicle stick inside the napkin that contained the rest of the trash you two had.

The cafeteria was pretty much barren. There were only a few students who were having breakfast for dinner at different tables across the room. You were sitting across from each other on top of one of the empty tables. Thankfully there were still a lot of ice cream choices left inside of the freezer and you took advantage of the situation by taking handfuls of the orange creamsicles.

“You’re not hungry?” You questioned.

“Kind of. I thought the alcohol and all of those snacks you guys bought would’ve kept me full for a while.” Jimin leaned back on his hands and looked over to whatever the students were eating; cereal, french toast, and some were eating whatever what served during dinner.

“I could cook you something.” You tried to peer behind some of the counters to get a view of the kitchen. “Considering this ordeal, I can whip up something in the kitchen.”

“What is this? My birthday gift?” Jimin laughed it off because he knew you were way too busy to go out into the city to get him a birthday gift.

“It could be. If that’s what you really want.” You hopped off the table and trailed towards the kitchen.

Jimin let you walk off a couple of feet before silently following behind you. You’ve cooked for him a few times-mainly instant ramen or fried rice. Other times, you would bake cookies for Momo whenever you had time to go home during the weekends and she’d share with Jimin.

“I’ll take the food, but not as a gift.” He looked around the kitchen as you opened up cupboards, trying to find something decent to cook.

“How about pasta? Judging by some of the prepped ingredients, it seems like this was going to be tomorrow’s dinner.” You pulled out bowls of minced garlic and parsley. “Looks like shrimp linguine.”

Jimin gave you a thumbs up and propped himself on an empty counter space. There were student chefs still inside of the kitchen but they were mainly cleaning up pots and pans and taking back leftovers. The world was still silent besides the sounds of you opening the refrigerator and placing glass bowls on the counter, so he turned on some jazz music on a quiet volume to make the space feel cozier. You smiled at the familiar tune and turned on the stove to heat up water for pasta.

“I hope you don’t mind a simple white sauce. Alfredo would be best but I don’t know how to make that shit.” You confessed.

“You can make white sauce?” Jimin asked with a raised eyebrow.

You tossed a pinch of salt in his direction and smirked. “Watch me.”

↠↞

The early-early breakfast was honestly… lovely.

It’s been a while since you had a one on one meal with Jimin and you two shared a hefty conversation about how school was going for the both of you. The pasta you made turned out to be exquisite and he expressed how impressed he was about how well you were able to cook. You joked about making him garlic butter steak next time because it was your father’s favorite dish that you made for him, but you weren’t prepared for how quick Jimin agreed to try it.

Jimin complained about how much he wanted to perfect his cooking skills so he could stop spending a lot of money on pizza and burgers as a late night snack. Although you weren’t perfect yourself, you offered for him to shadow you if he ever also decided to visit his family on weekends. At some point, during dinner, some of the topics you two had touched up sounded a lot more friendlier than usual.

Casually inviting him over to your house to teach him how to cook the dishes you took pride in was already a red flag in treading rough waters. You’ve hung out with Jimin a lot especially with Momo, but the only time you two ever independently spent time together was in college; studying, sharing a snack during a one hour break in between classes.

Jimin washed the dishes you two used as well as whatever pots and pans you used to cook everything; you didn’t take a lot of the ingredients so it would go unnoticed.

“Do you think the time of day changes during Lover’s Day?” You joined Jimin outside, still pulling your sleeves own past your fingers.

“I’m pretty sure. Why?” Jimin watched you shield yourself from the cold. “Ah. Here.” He stripped himself of the leather jacket and handed it to you.

“No, Jimin. I’m fine, I swear.”

“At least wear it for now, we can head to my dorm to get you another jacket since it’s closer than yours.”

You stared at his jacket and gave it some thought.

Maybe up to his dorm won’t be too bad.

Well—

Okay, maybe it was bad.

Jimin’s roommate wasn’t in the dorm because he left early to go home for the weekend. You unzipped your combat boots and hopped on top of Jimin’s bed.

His dorm was neater than you remember. Even during the chaotic week of midterms, his desk was more put together than yours and your roommate put together. Despite random t-shirts and sweaters that were hanging over his bed frame, Jimin’s side of the room seemed so Jimin.

“Take your pick.” Jimin held his hand out to the portion of jackets and sweaters of his closet space.

“Hmm…” You stared at the section a little until a familiar navy blue and yellow cuffed varsity jacket caught your attention. “Oh my god, that’s our high school’s varsity!” With a beaming smile, you jumped off his bed and walked over to caress the fabric in between your fingers.

“Yeah, four years at that hellhole and I still can’t bring myself to toss it out.” Jimin retrieved the jacket from its hanger and handed it over for you to wear.

You chuckled and proceeded to remove his leather jacket to wear the other one. “Four years and I still question myself why I never bought one.”

Jimin’s mouth gaped. “What?! You’re serious? Whose jacket were you wearing during high school?”

“Uh, Tae...yong…” His name fell from your lips like stones. What a perfect time for you to mention his name.

“Oh.” Jimin said flatly. “Yeah, of course.”

This wasn’t good.

You needed to say something, anything, because you didn’t want to have a conversation about love and soulmates at that moment.

“I—uh, I had to repurchase a varsity three times.” Thankfully, Jimin quickly continued the conversation towards a different route.

“You spent a total of 75 dollars for the same jacket on three separate occasions?!” You asked in disbelief.

“Yeah,” Jimin chuckled and walked towards his bed with you following behind him. “During spring fest during my freshman and sophomore year, I spilled paint when I was helping out with the banners. And the third time was during a food fight the seniors were having when I was a junior and I got nailed with all sorts of food.”

Jimin continued his story with more details. Within the conversation, you made yourself comfortable, lying down on his bed while he sat cross legged at near your feet. While talking, you noticed that he played with the stray thread of your socks that stuck out by your ankles.

“I like your socks.” He commented.

“Thanks.” You stared at your yellow Winnie the Pooh socks. “There’s a store near the bistro that sells super cute stationery, hair accessories, and even socks.” You stuck one foot in the air and wiggled your toes inside the cloth.

Jimin took hold of your ankle and rested it on his knee and examined the chibi characters of Pooh and his friends. You held your breath and continually told yourself to fucking cool it. This wasn’t out of the ordinary. The only thing missing was Momo’s ankle resting on his other knee and Taeyong’s lap for your head to be resting on.

How were you supposed to adjust to this? What were the two of you going to tell Taeyong and Momo? You could already imagine the pained expression of your best friend and the absolute devastation of your boyfriend.

This was all a dream. You kept telling yourself this. It was a dream.

↠↞

Five minutes passed and Jimin could feel a slight numbing pain in his right shoulder. He wriggled around and slowly opened his eyes, unaware of his surroundings. The last thing he remembered was slumping over a couple of inches away from your body while you dozed off. He could hear the faint sound of you breathing and it finally occurred to him exactly where he was.

Jimin had a clear view of a navy blue fabric and his arm. He realized that the navy blue fabric came from the jacket he let you borrow and that his arm slung over it.

In basic terms, he was cuddling you at your stomach area.

In a state of panic, Jimin gasped and reeled his arm back which prompted him to roll onto his back. But, he forgot that he was near the edge of his bed and rolling onto his back resulted in him landing flat onto the floor. The loud impact of his body and the floor caused you to flinch awake.

“Oh my god.” You rasped and sat up. “Oh my god!”

Jimin clawed at his sheet to get himself back on his feet and you scrambled up to assist him. “What happened?!”

“Well, I was just lying there and uh, I had that free falling dream. Right when I hit the ground in my dream, bam! My actual body exploded and I actually ended up on the ground here.” Jimin stammered and rubbed the back of his head.

You gave him a questionable stare before reaching out to check for any bumps on his head. “Jimin, you have a bump. Do you have any frozen items in your mini fridge?”

“No, sorry.” He winced touching the bump on the upper right part of his forehead. “But, the main fridge on this floor should have something.”

“Say no more. Let’s hurry to stop the swelling.” Instead of grabbing his leather jacket for Jimin to wear, you snatched a stray maroon sweater that hung off his bed.

Jimin lazily slid his shoes back on and was hastily tugged out of his room with your hand wrapped around his own.

“What time is it?” Jimin held a frozen hot pocket against the bump and blew on his cup of tea.

In the main gathering room of his floor of the dormitory, there was a living room with a large tv where most of the students gathered to play video games or watch netflix and a decent sized kitchen.

Students would normally label any food or drinks that belonged to them and sometimes there would be snacks that were labeled “for all” which was obviously for anybody who wanted it. There were boxes of instant coffee, hot chocolate, and teas that were meant for everybody and you brewed a cup of tea for each of you.

“It’s about,” you took a moment to check your phone. “9 am.”

Jimin choked on his tea. 9 am?! He swore only five minutes passed from when he woke up.

“Shit. I guess I didn’t realize how tired I was.” Jimin said, calming down from his fit of coughs.

“You and me both. It still feels like my feet are about to fall off from standing up majority of the night.” You strolled over to the couch where Jimin sat with your cup of tea in hand. Jimin noticed you were wearing a pair of his slides instead of your combat boots; probably from when you were rushing to leave his room.

“I bet.” Jimin chuckled. “How long did it take you guys to set up everything at the lounge?”

Jimin listened intently as you told stories about how there were many close calls where you and Jungkook almost ripped each other’s heads off. This was mainly because of the miscommunication on who had kept the derp pictures of Jimin and who held onto the money for alcohol and snacks.

Another hour had passed and Jimin spent laughing almost to the brink of tears with you. Everything felt natural, almost too natural. For a split second, Jimin forgot what Yuanfen was all about.

“Are you sure the bump is gone?”

Before he knew it, you two cleaned up and abandoned Jimin’s dorm to take a walk around campus.

The students from last night were still in the same position. The only things that changed were the weather and the time of day. You were a bit ignorant about Yuanfen, so Jimin took the time to explain some basics about the hidden holiday.

Yuanfen was a whole different world only to be seen through the eyes of the soulmates, so once the day is over, everything goes back to normal.

Once everything goes back to normal, the day restarts and the memories of other bystanders remain what they were prior to being frozen in time.

As for the soulmates, Jimin chose to omit that information.

“Yes, I’m sure! Let me just check again just to make sure.” You stepped in front of Jimin and gently felt around his forehead and then traced your fingers through his hair to feel around for any bumps you may have missed.

He wasn’t sure when he started, but Jimin found himself staring into your eyes. How was this even possible? How were you his soulmate and not Momo, his high school sweetheart? But maybe, even just for a couple of hours, he could possibly see what it’s like if you were his—

“You’re good to go, Jimin.” You poked the center of his head, capturing his attention.

“Oh, yeah, great. Thanks.” He smiled shyly.

↠↞

There was nothing like a crisp fall morning; cool breeze, crunchy burnt orange leaves, and warm drinks. Your walk around the campus turned into a complete turn around towards your dormitory to get a cup of coffee—you both were obviously in an area with coffee however, the idea of walking all the way back to Jimin’s dorm felt like a hassle.

“Sorry about the mess. Dahyun and I have been way too busy to clean.” You rushed from your door to tidy up as much as you could.

“Hey, it’s no problem. It’s fine. You saw my place.” Jimin lightly placed his hands on your shoulders to gently pulled you back.

You patted the back of his hands and walked over to a side table that carried a microwave, a keurig, and a rack for k-pods.

“There’s vanilla creamer in the mini fridge underneath my bed and feel free to grab a snack.” You handed Jimin his cup of medium roast. “We also have some ramen bowls underneath Dahyun’s bed. She won’t mind, trust me.”

The last meal you two shared was the pasta you made last night and now it was the next morning and you two were going to have another meal with another form of noodles.

Normal. Things were still feeling normal, nothing awkward. You were having an innocent breakfast with your best friend’s boyfriend when in fact, he’s actually your soulmate. Yeah. Perfectly normal.

You glanced up and soaked in the image of Jimin harmlessly mixing around his ramen.

Was Jimin cute? Of course. Was he smart? Yes. Funny? Also yes. Was he perfect boyfriend material? Yes—but maybe, maybe not for you.

How could you possibly get used to this? You couldn’t shake the thought of Momo being incredibly heart broken. And of course, how in the world were you going to tell Taeyong?! You loved him. What were things going to be like if you told him about this?

“So…” you started off softly. “What are we going to do?”

“About our plans for today?” Jimin asked innocently.

You laughed and sucked in a quiet breath. “Yeah. Yeah, what should we do?”

Jimin took a sip of his coffee and looked up to your ceiling in search of an answer.

“Oh!” He clapped his hands, scaring you a little. “Let’s go to the frat house and raid their kitchen!”

“Ooh, let’s do it! You know, I heard that they have a whole ass stash of ramen bowls and coffee.” You mentioned.

Jimin widened his eyes as he lifted his chopsticks into his mouth. “I wonder what else they got?”

As Jimin spewed out a few snack items that he was hoping the frat house would have, you felt yourself zoning out.

Jimin really is cute.

It was such a horrible thing for you to think of at this moment, but you always knew how cute he was but was he always this cute?

God, this was stupid. You were only having these thoughts because of stupid Yuanfen. This hidden holiday was messing up the wires in your head making you see Jimin in a whole new different light. This was probably a sign to try and see where things could go with him. It was a scary thought, but you did wonder.

“Y/n?”

“Huh? What?” You blinked out of your daze.

“What else do you think they have stashed there?”

Quick. Think fast. Pretend you were paying attention.

“Uh—uh, c-condoms?”

Great. Out of all things, y/n.

Jimin stared blankly at you with his mouth slightly open.

“Y-Yeah. Condoms. Those are, uh, those could possibly exist there.”

The air around you began to feel stale. Seriously, out of all the things you could’ve said—you just had to say condoms!

“So,” you coughed. “I also heard from Wonho that Hani and Suho have the Scholar’s Edition to the Pre-Med and Pre-Law class textbooks!”

Jimin’s eyes lit up and nearly choked on his coffee. “Those things almost cost as much as two classes!”

You gave him a big smile thinking about how it would be you two to get excited over textbooks.

“Exactly! So, while we’re at the frat house…”

“Y/n, isn’t that stealing?”

You paused for a brief second. “N-no. We’re just borrowing them. We’ll photocopy the pages and then we’ll just return them tonight.”

Jimin nodded his head in agreement and took the empty ramen bowls. “Sounds perfect.”

Noon came around in the blink of an eye and you two were trotting down campus towards the frat house. You’ve been to the house a few times, only to attend parties with Taeyong.

The frat house was honestly incredible. A large kitchen, arcade games, and a basketball court right out back. A lot of money was spent to make the house what it was and it was quite obvious.

There was a party last night and there were still people hanging around the stairs and on the main floor, not to mention people sitting on other people’s laps. You both weaved around the sea of students in search of Suho and Hani’s room. Jimin reminded you to slowly open the doors just in case you were to walk in a freeze frame of two people having sex; if only he told you that prior to entering the house.

“God, I just saw someone’s bare ass.” You closed one of the doors behind you and slid your back down the door.

“That bad?” Jimin asked.

“Not only did I see ass, I saw legs thrown over shoulders.” You shuddered and covered your face with your hands.

Jimin chucked and pulled you back up onto your feet. “Come on, shaky. You’ll survive.” He squished your cheeks together before giving you a little nudge to keep moving forward.

After carefully snooping around for fifteen minutes, the textbooks were found and now it was time to raid the kitchen. You were surprised at how neat the kitchen was considering how much people lived in the house. On top of the cabinets, packages of ramen bowls and other microwavable food were stacked neatly. You climbed on top of the counter to grab a decent amount to refill both you and Jimin’s dorm rooms. Honestly, you were kind of scared because you were pretty much stealing. You’ll be fine right?

“Oh hell yes, they have honey butter chips!”

You looked down and spotted Jimin rummaging through a cupboard. He pulled out four bags and smiled brightly.

“Did you get the goods?” Jimin grabbed a random reusable bag to stuff the snacks inside.

Still standing on the counter, you gently tossed the ramen and other foods towards Jimin who needed one more reusable bag. Jimin stood by the counter and stuck his hand out to help you get down.

Why were you so nervous?

Y/n, relax. He’s just trying to fucking help you.

You reached out to hold onto his hand. You crouched down to carefully place your feet one by one on the floor, but even with being careful, you still managed to misplace your foot.

“Whoa, I got you.” Jimin grabbed your waist and pulled you flush to his body.

Your face was way too close to his own and you made the terrible decision to lock eyes with Jimin. His eyes twinkled in the natural sunlight beaming through the window. A foreign look was glazed over his eyes and your breath was caught in your throat.

“I—Thanks, Jimin.” You pushed yourself away from him. He still had a hold on your hand and as you walked towards the bags of snacks, his fingers slipped gently out of your grasp.

What the fuck is happening?!

There was a hundred percent chance that you were blushing, so you examined the packaged goods to calm yourself for a few seconds.

“Shall we go to the library to photocopy the book?” Jimin spoke.

“Yeah, let’s.” You turned and found Jimin’s back facing you. He seemed to be interested in the colorful refrigerator magnets. “Jimin?”

↠↞

What am I doing? Why did I do that? Fuck.

Jimin stared at an empty spot on the white refrigerator door and covered the lower half of his face with his hand.

This has to be cheating right? Momo’s my girlfriend but in the end, y/n is my—

“Jimin?”

“Sorry, yeah. Let’s go.” Jimin squeezed his eyes shut for a second and turned back to you to hold the bags.

After the ordeal, there was an awkward tension between the two of you and this was the last thing Jimin needed. It was only the afternoon and he still had the rest of the day to spend with you. If he was a horrible person, he would’ve suggested to spend time individually but he was a good person. He didn’t have the heart to leave you on your own.

The library was pretty much empty of students, only the still bodies of the staff were present. The copy machine was located on the fourth floor and it was a ghost town. Not one single person was on the floor. How much more awkward could it get?

“I think I’m going to the first six chapters because this medical book has about,” Jimin stared at the table of contents. “Eleven chapters.”

“Ugh. This stupid book has twenty chapters. Do I really want to become a lawyer? The chapters are way too long.” You sunk down onto the floor.

Jimin chuckled and booted up the machine. “Tell me about it. This pre-med book is pretty small but it costs so much.”

The awkward tension was slowly melting as the two of you complained and told horror stories about each of your majors. Jimin ranted on about how he almost changed his major, but the idea of taking more classes to fulfill another major’s prerequisites.

“I know! I almost changed mine too!” Jimin listened to you and the sound of you angrily flipping through the pages of the pre-law book. “But I thought about how angry my mom was going to be so I chickened ou-ow! Jesus!”

Jimin whipped his head around and you were examining your index finger. He retreated to your side and once again, held your hand in his own.

“Paper cut?” He chuckled.

“Y-Yeah.” You muttered. “Books are evil—I’m going to sue this book.”

Jimin laughed loudly and carefully pulled you up from the floor. “Alright, you sue the book and let Dr. Park fix up your finger.”

It wasn’t his intention, really it wasn’t, but Jimin walked down the stairs with you with your hand still in his. But what made his heart beat a bit faster was the fact you didn’t let go, you held on tighter.

“Let’s see. There has to be a first aid kit here somewhere—excuse me.” Jimin jokingly spoke to the still body of a library staff member sitting behind the main desk. He quickly found the transparent box labeled first aid.

“Alright, they don’t have any hydrogen peroxide, so I’m going to have to use an alcohol swab.” Jimin rummaged through the box and pulled out an alcohol swab, a tissue, and a bandaid.

“O-Or we can just leave it as is. It’s just a papercut, it’ll heal in a jiffy!” Your tone of voice was a bit squeaky and you took a step back.

“Aw, is y/n afraid of the alcohol swab?” Jimin cooed. “Your paper cut started bleeding so we have to kill the germs. Just relax. You’ll be fine in Dr.Park’s care.”

Jimin guided you to an empty rolling chair and knelt down beside you. With the utmost care, Jimin cradled your finger and dabbed the paper cut with the swab. Instantly, your hand tensed up but you stayed silent so he looked up to find your eyes screwed shut and bottom lip tucked between your teeth. He wanted to smile at the adorable sight of you being afraid but he switched his focus back on your cut, forcing his blush to dissipate.

Get your shit together, Jimin.

“Alright, Ms. Y/n. We’re all done here however, you don’t have insurance with me so the total price of this is another cup of coffee.” Jimin folded down the yellow polka dotted bandage around your finger and you scoffed at his witty remark.

“Alright, that seems fair. We can head back to my dorm after we finish up here.”

Before heading to your dorm, you made sure to take a detour to the frat house to return the books in its rightful spot; Being able to copy pages from the book for free was one of the things Jimin was thankful for.

By the time four o’clock rolled around, Jimin had four ramen bowls and two cups of coffee sitting in his stomach. He slouched in his seat trying to not regret eating so much. You were rummaging around your mini fridge looking for something sweet to balance out the spicy-savory taste.

Instead of pulling out some sort of dessert, you offered Jimin a shot or two of whiskey that you found hiding in the small freezer section of your fridge. Jimin was probably going to at least regret this, but he agreed.

After grabbing two bottles of coke from the vending machine in the hallway, one or two shots turned into killing half of the bottle. Jimin poured another round of shots into the coffee mugs and flickered his gaze to you.

Your cheeks were visibly red and your face was glowing. Your eyes were halfway closed and mumbled something incoherent.

“Maybe we should stop here, y/n.” Jimin laughed.

“No, no, no, no. I’m fine. I’m sober, I swear.” You slurred.

“I beg to differ. You should lie down.” Jimin left his seat feeling a bit dizzy, but still did his best to take care of you first.

“One more shot, just one more.” You reached to grab your mug but Jimin intercepted.

“No, y/n, come on. Just sleep for a few hours.”

You reached for the hand that took your mug away and brought it up to your cheek. “Just one more. Please, Jimin? One more and I’ll go to bed.”

Maybe it was the alcohol, but Jimin started to feel warm. “F-Fine. Just one and then straight to bed.”

You happily rubbed your cheek against his hand and tanked the shot followed by the chaser. Even in your drunken state, you obliged to Jimin’s condition and wobbled over to your bed. You took the open ended side of your bed and laid flat on your stomach.

“Y/n, don’t sleep on your stomach.” Jimin shook you, but you let out a soft whine instead.

Jimin swallowed hard, trying to get a clear grasp of his vision since he was also drunk, but definitely not like you. He carefully rolled you over onto your back and then placed one arm beneath your neck and the other underneath your knees to scoot your back towards the end of the bed. Just in case you needed to throw up, he grabbed your trash can and placed it near your head side.

“Good gracious.” Jimin breathed. He took one of the chairs and stationed it near you so he could keep an eye on you for a while. He closed his eyes for a few seconds in search of relaxation but he heard you talking. “Hm?”

“Yuan…” you sighed.

Jimin scooted his chair closer to hear you better.

“Yuanfen…” you finally said while opening your eyes. “That’s chinese. Chinese for binding...force?”

“Yeah. Something like that…” Jimin chuckled and brushed a few hairs out of your eyes.

You laughed and stared blankly into Jimin’s eyes. “Ohhhhhhh, that’s why it’s the perfect name for this holiday-thingy. A force to bind soulmates.” You whispered. “Hey, Jimnim…”

Jimin snorted at the butchered version of his name. “Yes, y/n.”

“We’re soulmates.” A soft chuckle pushed past your lips. “Soul. Mates. Me. You.”

The mention of being soulmates almost sobered Jimin up in an instant. You were drunk out of your mind, blabbering about anything so he tried to not take anything seriously.

But you know what they say about drunken words…

“Mhm. Soulmates.” Jimin sadly repeated.

“I’m sorry, Jimnim. I know I’m not your type to be a soulmate.” You brought your hand up to cradle Jimin’s face, tracing his cheek. “But I’ll do my best okay? I have to make Jiminim happy.”

It almost felt like he couldn’t breathe. He had to keep telling himself that you were drunk. You were a drunk girl who had no idea what she was saying.

But honestly, your words cut him deep. Of course Jimin was disappointed about Momo, his girlfriend, not being his soulmate. He had thought about this day a million times over and he never would have imagined you in Momo’s place.

Jimin touched your hand that held his face and breathed in deeply. Your eyes were already seconds away from closing and Jimin smiled.

“I’ll do my best too.”

↠↞

You didn’t dare open your eyes. You were pretty much awake at this point, but even with your eyes closed, you felt the entire world spinning.

“Ugh, fuck me.” You finally gave in and cracked an eye open. It took you a few seconds to find the willpower to open your last eye and when you did, a wave of regret washed over you. “I drank last night, now this afternoon… I don’t ever want to drink again.”

Okay, that’s a lie.

After registering your surroundings, you cautiously tilted your head and found the fluff of Jimin’s black hair. He was sitting in a chair, hunched over at your side with his face stuffed in his arms and your hand was lost somewhere between his limbs.

The memories of you and Jimin sharing the whiskey you found came through in blurry pieces. You remembered venting to Jimin about how you wished you had ice cream in your fridge and then face planting onto your pillow; that’s all you could remember at the moment.

“Jimin… Jimin.” You rasped.

“Mmm, five more minutes.” Jimin grunted and shifted around in his seat without lifting his head.

“Jimin, get up, please. I have to use the bathroom.”

You waited and watched and Jimin’s shoulders rise and fall. He then sat up to rub his eyes and your hand was finally free.

“Can you walk?” Jimin questioned, already maneuvering around to help you sit up.

“Ugh.” Your stomach was not happy. “Yeah. Slowly though. The stupid bathroom is down the hall.”

Jimin helped you swing your legs down and you noticed him wince, probably also feeling sick from drinking.

“I got it, Jimin.”

“It’s alright. I have to make sure you make it safe.” Jimin brought you to your feet and supported your weight by throwing your arm over his shoulders. He put his arm around your waist, just like how he did at the frat house, and guided you to take small steps out of your room.

Your stomach was fluttering.

It’s the alcohol. It’s the fucking alcohol.

The whole time to the bathroom, using the bathroom, and then walking back, you were piecing together the puzzle pieces of the hazy interactions you made while wasted. The whiny conversation about how you wanted to drink one more shot became clear and you sort of remembered your failed attempts at saying Jimin’s name.

“I wonder where can we get some soup that’s not ramen soup base.” Jimin said.

You gave it some thought and then you remembered seeing instant miso soup packets at the frat house. As soon as you mentioned it, Jimin grabbed his varsity jacket to put on for you and then led you out of your dorm.

Walking outside seemed to be a bit difficult for you because you were still feeling dizzy after drinking a little more than what you originally planned. Jimin, on the other hand, looked a lot less miserable than what he did when you woke up from your nap. He did have a higher alcohol tolerance than you, but you still found it unfair that you were suffering alone.

“I hate drinking.” You complained.

Jimin snickered. “How are you feeling?”

“Like death.” You sighed. “I’m walking straight, right? It doesn’t feel like I’m even using my own legs to walk.”

Again, Jimin laughed and your stomach started to turn.

“You’re walking fine, but just for added security—”

The sudden touch of Jimin’s hand on your arm made you jump. He made you snake your arm around his to walk arm in arm to the frat house.

The alcohol in your stomach was really fucking with you and you desperately wanted to let go, but you enjoyed the warmth.

“The sunset is really pretty.” Jimin whispered and you couldn’t help but look at the profile of his face.

You could tell he was smiling by the way his cheek bone poked upward and all you could imagine was the way his eyes almost disappeared every time he smiled.

It was the warmth. You were enjoying the warmth.

The miso soup tasted like everything you’ve been missing in your life. The warmth of the soup sat happily inside of you instantly taking away the queasy feeling in your stomach.

Jimin finished his meal quickly and watched you eat with a small smile plastered on his face. He offered to make you more but you declined.

You were now watching his back as he washed the dishes. His body frame was completely different than Taeyong’s.

Taeyong was taller than Jimin, but you were still much shorter than the latter. Jimin went to gym whenever he had free time, giving him a little more muscle mass than your boyfriend. You didn’t mean to compare, but your mind continued to wander. You thought about Jimin’s hands and how they gently cradled yours; they were soft yet sturdy, making you feel weirdly comfortable when you held his hands.

Your thoughts broke once Jimin turned on his heel. The queasy feeling in your stomach returned when he looked at you.

“Feeling better?” Jimin strode towards you and your heart began to beat faster.

“Y-Yeah. I’m fine.”

What’s happening to me?

“So, what else is there to do?” He asked.

You gave it some thought.

“Have you been to the roof of the library?”

↠↞

Jimin stared in amazement looking over the campus. The purple-orange sky had begun to darken a bit with flecks of stars appearing on the canvas. He soaked up the evening air and looked off into the distance, realizing that the day was almost finished.

“Have a seat.” You lugged two wooden crates near the edge.

“This spot is unbelievable.” Jimin breathed. “Why didn’t you mention this place before?”

“I don’t know, I actually I don’t come here often. A friend of mine dragged me up here so she could paint the sunset.” You explained and Jimin nodded.

The world was so peaceful and quiet making Jimin’s thoughts roar even louder. If he didn’t talk about this situation with you, it would only get worse once time starts again.

He turned to you and felt his chest tighten at the sight of your hair messily falling in front of your face when the wind blew. With a thundering heart, he lifted his hands to carefully push your hair out of the way, making you look at him.

“I-I think we need to talk about us.” He finally said.

You let out a sigh and chewed on your bottom lip. “Y-You’re right.”

The thought of Taeyong and Momo being completely heartbroken over the news ripped Jimin’s heart into two. “What are we supposed to do…? Momo and I had a future planned and now…” He dropped his head into his hands knowing that everything that he and Momo dreamed of was now nothing but a hopeless wish.

“Jimin... “ You placed a hand on his shoulder. “If I could change things, I fucking would in a heart beat. I’m sorry that in the end… it’s me.”

He felt like a fucking jerk. Yes, he loved Momo. Yes, he had all these plans to marry her. But he didn’t need to smother it in your face to make it sound like you were a horrible candidate because after all, he was your soulmate too.

“No, don’t apologize. It’s no one’s fault.” Jimin explained. “You know y/n, truth be told, I really enjoyed today.”

He was now smiling thinking back to how simple the day was: eating, sleeping, gallivanting around the frat house, drinking again, sleeping some more, and now the day was ending with a breathtaking view. Studying with you in between classes was great, but it was nothing like this. It all seemed so different. Maybe because it was Yuanfen and the effects of the holiday was gnawing at his emotions or maybe it was because he held your hand for the first time, giving him new waves of emotions he never thought he’d feel before. Even if he was feeling guilty deep down, he was being honest. Jimin truly enjoyed the day with you.

“I don’t--I don’t know, maybe we don’t have to tell them?” You suggested. “We could just let everything happen on its own.”

Jimin tented his eyebrows a bit. “Could you really go back to normal after all of this?” His words came out as a whisper. “I don’t know if I could.”

“But we have to, don’t we? I don’t even know where to begin telling Taeyong about all of this.” Now it was your turn to bury your face in your hands. “My friendship with Momo is probably going to be ruined after this. I don’t know how to look in the eyes of my best friend and tell her that her boyfriend is my soulmate.”

The sudden urge to hug you bubbled inside of Jimin. He fought it, pushed it down inside of him, but it clawed its way back up. He stood up and took your hand, just like how he had done throughout the entire day, and enveloped you into his arms. His arms settled around your waist and he pressed his nose in the crook of your neck. It seemed like you hesitated at first, clutching the sleeves of his jacket, but your snaked your arms around his neck to return the hug.

“I know that everything is just so messed up right now and we’re just forced to deal with this reality. I know that I may not be your type of a soul mate…” Jimin sadly remembered how you drunkenly spoke to him before knocking out. “But I’ll do my best, okay? I have to make you happy.”

You abruptly reeled yourself back, hands resting on his shoulders, and gasped. “Did I--Did I say that to you? That sounds familiar that’s why.”

Jimin nodded his head. “You said it when you were drunk, but listen, I also would change things if I could. But I need you to know that whatever happens, I’m going to learn how to lo--” Jimin swallowed hard. “I’m going to learn how to love you. As a man, I’m going to do my best for you. You’re my soulmate, y/n. It may not be what we want, but we can’t escape this. I promise to make you happy.”

↠↞

The feeling that flowed inside of you was a mixture of shock, confusion, and happiness? You weren’t sure where that last emotion came from. Hearing everything that spewed out of Jimin’s house was painful but so beautiful to hear.

“What—” you whispered. “What brought this on?”

Jimin readjusted his hold on you, but still kept his hands on your waist. “I—I don’t know. I think it came from spending the day with you. It was different. We don’t usually spend time like this together.”

It was true, not to mention, holding hands with Jimin while hanging out together was far from normal. You had to admit, you also enjoyed spending time with him. He cared for you the entire time and always agreed with your plans even though it was his birthday. There were times where your heart was about to burst out of your chest and deep down you knew why, but how could you admit it?

“I also enjoyed today. Thank you for taking care of me, Jimin.” You looked into his eyes and noticed how they sparkled even without direct light.

“Anytime.” The smile Jimin gave you was so gentle. He could probably feel your hands shake on his shoulders from being nervous.

Was it selfish to want to savour this moment for a little longer?

After Yuanfen ends, how could things return back to normal? You needed to figure out a way to tell Taeyong. Would he still want to be with you and just fall out of love? The thought of that crushed you. You loved Taeyong so much, but he wasn’t your soulmate.

Jimin was.

Just like Jimin, you were going to learn how to love him. You were going to study his love language, learn what side of the bed he prefers to sleep on, and get to know his family. Somewhere deep inside of you scratched at your heart, begging you to realize that doing all of this was more of a want than an obligation.

You wanted to know more about Jimin on an intimate level. You wanted to plan a future with him. But the only hurdle in the way was the pain of having to tell Taeyong what happened.

“Y/n.”

You were so deep in thought, you didn’t realize you were still clinging onto Jimin who was also still holding you.

“Shit, sorry. I—”

“I know what I want as a birthday gift.” Jimin’s cheeks were flushed pink and his eyes shook as he stared into yours. He cleared his throat. “As a gift… can I kiss you?”

Were your ears deceiving you? Did Jimin just ask to kiss you? Sure you and Jimin were tossed into some fantasy world, but in this moment, were you dreaming?

“Wha-what?”

“I know. It’s a stupid request, but I was just thinking about how it would be to you know, kiss you.” The grip he had on your waist began to loosen, probably from wavering confidence. “If you don’t want to then—”

“N-No.” You held onto his shoulders a little tighter. “It’s alright. You can kiss me.”

Jimin raised his eyebrows. He was probably expecting you to refuse and you were honestly considering it, but you also thought about it at some point.

What would it be like to kiss Park Jimin?

A broken sputter of words spewed past his lips. “U-Uh—um, okay. Okay.” His hands left your waist to rest against the small of your back, pulling you closer to him.

The action subconsciously made you raise your hands to gently cup his cheeks. Your heart was pounding and your breathing was audibly jagged.

Jimin lowered his head, leaving a couple of inches of space between his lips and yours. You stared at the thickness of his lips and the desire to kiss him grew.

Just before he moved in closer, you met his eyes once more.

“Happy birthday, Jimin.”

Initially, the kiss was quick—a peck on the lips that lasted about a second of two. But Jimin didn’t stop there. He tilted his head to capture your lips again to give you a gentle kiss, shyly moving against yours. You didn’t fight it—you didn’t even hesitate to replicate his movements and laced your hands into his hair.

Jimin’s lips were soft and he continuously kept pulling you closer to him, but you didn’t mind it. You were immediately intoxicated and addicted to the taste of his lips.

This was a crime. You were both in relationships and here you were, kissing the boyfriend of your best friend. You had to stop...but…

I don’t want to.

↠↞

Instead of spending more time on the rooftop, Jimin suggested to retreat into the library to escape the freezing air. The library was a lot warmer than outside, but Jimin craved more warmth.

There were couches in the study area in the library, so without saying another word, he laid on the couch and pulled you in to have you flush against his chest. Was it his heartbeat that increased? Or was it yours?

Jimin took the liberty to set an alarm on his phone for 11:30 just in case you two fell asleep, which you both did. You probably drifted to sleep first because he caressed your back and you didn’t flinch one bit.

Bliss. Content. Peace. Guilt.

For once he thought, did today have to end?

The sky was now stained black with specks of stars fluttering around. The air was colder with a light breeze and the street lights were on, lighting the path of the sidewalk to the lounge.

Jimin stared at the tips of his shoes as he walked whilst have his fingers laced in between yours. He still hadn’t figured out what exactly he was going to tell Momo. This whole situation was going to ruin four relationships: his and Momo’s relationship, you and Taeyong’s, his friendship with Taeyong, and your longtime friendship with Momo. It’s not like he was going to instantly make you his girlfriend after the whole matter was settled, it would be too soon; you probably thought the same.

“Jimin, we’re here.” You spoke, not even hiding the sadness in your voice.

“I don’t…” Jimin whispered. “I can’t go in.”

Your hand was trembling in his and he thought it was because you were cold, but he noticed you wiping your eyes with your free hand.

“Hey…” He breathed, turning you to face him.

“I-I’m sorry.” You sniffled.

Jimin’s heart ached. He shared the same pain; he had to tell Momo about this, but he didn’t know how.

He ran a hand through your hair to take a good look at your face; your eyes were glossy and the tip of your nose was tinged pink. It was too soon to think you looked absolutely adorable, but he couldn’t help it.

“It’s okay.” Jimin mumbled. He cradled your face and leaned forward to kiss the tip of your nose then placed a kiss on your lips. It was a subconscious action that shocked Jimin as much as it did you. It was his turn to apologize and even with the sad look in your eyes, you smiled and repeated his words “it’s okay.”

Jimin gestured you to walk in first and he followed shortly. Everything in the lounge remained the same, obviously. The main area of the lounge was flooded with college students and as he walked further towards the back, his party decorations came into view and the first person he saw was Momo.

She was sitting perfectly still, eyes closed with her lips poked out just as he left her. He sat beside her and stroked her cheek. Tears welled up in his eyes and just before a tear could spill out, the sound of a choked back sob filled the air.

Jimin turned to find you sitting on Taeyong’s lap; he was stuck in mid-laugh, looking as happy as ever. Your face was buried in the crook of his neck with your arms were wrapped around him.

It hurt watching you—everything hurt. In a couple of minutes, Yuanfen was going to end and reality was going to begin. He turned to Momo and his heart sank to his stomach. He never imagined being in this position. Would it still be possible to work through this? Could he and Momo still be a couple?

In one minute, Jimin was going to have an answer.

There was a soft wind-chime-like sound that played in his head, just like the one he heard when Yuanfen started. His chest rattled and slowly, the music of the room grew louder and laughter began to spread into the air. In his peripherals, people started to move around but all Jimin could do was stare into his lap.

“Babe?”

For the first time, Momo’s voice broke his heart. The tears that previously faded sprung back into his eyes and Momo panicked.

“Babe, what’s wrong? What happened?” She gently touched his cheek and it felt so different. Sparks would fly at the slightest touch of her fingers, but now…

“H-Hey, Jimin.” Momo’s voice began to fade in his head. He settled his attention towards the other side of the room where you were.

It looked like you were still crying because Taeyong held onto your hands with a look of concern written all over his face. You turned your head and gave Jimin an unsettling look and tugged on Taeyong’s hand to lead him outside.

I guess we’re telling them afterall.

“Jimin.” Momo spoke. “Are you alright? You’re scaring me.”

What the hell was he supposed to say? He couldn’t just come right out and say “I’m sorry, but we’re not soulmates.” It seemed too cruel.

“And what happened? I swear it was Yuanfen, but I don’t remember a single thing.” There was concern in Momo’s voice and he couldn’t blame her. Afterall… she isn’t my…

“Momo.” Jimin said sternly. “Let’s go outside, we have to talk.”

This was it.

Somehow, the weather hadn’t changed but it was so much colder now.

As Jimin stepped out onto the sidewalk with Momo, he easily spotted you in the short distance even with your back turned to him. Jimin switched his attention to Taeyong who looked uneasy and heartbroken. He looked at Jimin with furrowed brows and sadness in his eyes before walking away. Your shoulders were slumped forward and instead of walking in the same direction as Taeyong, you went the opposite, walking past Momo and Jimin on the way,

“Y-Yn? What happ--” Momo tried to reach out for your hand, but Jimin grabbed her hand instead.

“Leave her.” He muttered.

“B-But, she looked like she was crying! Jimin, I have to go to her!”

Jimin squeezed Momo’s hand. He couldn’t look at her. The words couldn’t come out. Everything was crumbling at his feet.

“Jimin. Seriously. What is going on? You’re fucking scaring me.” Momo lashed out.

“We aren’t…” Jimin’s words were soft, almost inaudible.

“What?”

Jimin swallowed hard and looked Momo dead in the eyes. “You’re not my soulmate, Momo.”

A pained force laugh was pushed past between her lips as she took a step back. “Wha-What are you talking about, Jimin? What the fuck do you mean?!”

Silence. All he could offer her was silence.

“There has to be a mistake.” She was frantic. “M-Maybe there’s something about losing your memory after Yuanfen or soulmates getting mixed up or s-something.”

Jimin parted his lips to say something, anything, but nothing came out.

There were tears threatening to spill from Momo’s eyes as she approached him with caution. She clutched his face, her fingers so cold against his skin.

There was no warmth anymore.

“We’re high school sweethearts, Jimin. How can I not be your soulmate…?” Her voice shook as well as her hands.

“Momo, I’m sorry.” Jimin choked out. “I wish there was a mistake—I looked for loopholes, stories of people having the wrong soulmate, but…”

Slowly, Momo separated herself from Jimin’s body.

“Then who… who is your soulmate if it’s not me?” She managed to ask through her tears.

This is what Jimin dreaded—admitting that you were his soulmate to Momo.

“It’s…” Jimin breathed. “My soulmate is… y/n.”

The sound of your name made Momo lift her hand up to her mouth and all Jimin could do was endure the horror that settled in her eyes. He couldn’t reach out to hug her. He didn’t feel worthy of that.

“Y/n…?” She whimpered. “My best friend is my boyfriend’s soulmate? Is that why she was—” A loud sob interrupted her sentence.

He didn’t want this. He didn’t want to hurt her and he was damn sure you didn’t want any of this either.

Yuanfen was supposed to be magical. It was supposed to be a celebration of eternal love.

But it was all shit.

There was nothing magical about hurting Momo, seeing her cry knowing that he had no control over any of this.

Jimin had wondered if there was any way he and Mono could work through any of this and just by the look on her face, he knew the answer.

“Momo, I—”

“You spent Yuanfen with her and what? Did you two do anything?!” She spat.

He was at a loss for words. “We didn’t want this, okay?! She was in a happy and loving relationship with Taeyong and us too. This isn’t easy and I swear to you, Momo, I wish I could change this in a heartbeat but I can’t. I can’t do anything about this. I love you. How am I supposed to do this?”

Momo was wavering. She took a few more steps back and shook her head.

“How, you ask… well, Jimin,” She began. “Let me make it easier for you.”

Just like that, with tear filled eyes, Momo spun on her heel and walked away with Jimin’s heart broken on the pavement.

It was cold, so cold. He couldn’t feel his hands, his face—tears? Jimin touched his cheeks with his nimble fingers and felt the damp streaks on his face.

The hard part was over, right? Having to face Momo and tell her the truth, that was the hard part and now it was done. But he was still suffocating.

Jimin lost her. He lost his girlfriend. Sure he may have found his soulmate, but what good is it if his soulmate wasn’t his girlfriend? He spent years loving Momo and just like that, it was all done. There was nothing left.

“Jimin.”

He looked up from his feet to find you standing before him, hair disheveled and cheeks still stained with tears. You staggered forward but he was still close enough to catch you.

“I expected this.” You said quietly. “It was all expected, but why…”

Immediately, Jimin snaked his arms around your waist to embrace you. He felt and understood your pain.

“I know. I’m sorry.” He breathed near your ear.

“Yeah.” You sniffled and hugged him tighter. “I’m sorry, too.”

Jimin sighed and rubbed your lower back. He didn’t know what he wanted. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to leave you be for now or take your hand to his dorm to talk about things. It was all too much to take in.

Jimin had just spent an entire day with you, took a nap with you in the same bed, he even kissed you for God’s sake. Losing Momo now was for the best. It would’ve been too painful to force himself out of love and push her away in the future. It was like ripping off a bandaid, quick and—well, painful.

“What are we supposed to do now?” You questioned.

What were we supposed to do?

Everything was still fresh. He was sure that Taeyong and Momo both had a lot of questions to ask, but maybe now wasn’t a good time. He really didn’t know what to do.

Out of instinct, he reached to cup your face and placed a light kiss in between your eyebrows. Your eyes fluttered closed and it wasn’t the best time to be thinking about it, but Jimin had the sudden urge to kiss you properly on the lips.

Again, Jimin acted on instinct.

He traced your cheek with his finger and curled it to lift your chin to make eye contact with you. Your eyes were red with a dust of sadness. You weren’t pulling away and you were still hugging him. He had a feeling you knew what was going to happen next, so he didn’t hesitate.

Using his thumb, Jimin gently pulled beneath your bottom lip to part them about a centimeter’s distance. He watched you close your eyes once more and kissed you sweetly.

Jimin tasted the saltiness from your tears, your pain, your heart break. Mixed in with the cocktail of emotions was the slightest taste of happiness.

He slowly broke the kiss, already missing the intimate contact and once again, tugged you at your nape to bring your face to his chest. He stroked your hair and sighed.

“I don’t know what to do.” Jimin said. “I guess let’s just...go?” He reeled himself back and took your hand, leading you down the path.

Heartbroken as he was for his soulmate not being Momo, he was still happy it was someone he knew and that someone was you. The beholders of fate and love had decided that you were his soulmate.

Yuanfen was a binding force that linked two persons together in any relationship and in this case, it was a romantic one and that force bound you to him.

He had wished that maybe it was you who he had dated in high school. He wished that you were the one he introduced to his parents and brother. He wished he knew what your body liked and what made your toes curl in bliss. He thought it would’ve made this entire thing easier.

But that was the thing, love wasn’t easy. Love was an adventure filled with ups and downs, heartache and celebration. It wasn’t a one time thing, it was something to experience at many different times in one’s life.

Jimin was now this adventure with you and he was going to learn how to love you. He was going to experience every side of you and love each one completely. At least now he knew this was going to be a forever thing and it was all thanks to the thing that pained him in the first place.

Yuanfen.

♡ rae jagi

#bangtan boys #bts #jimin #bts scenarios #jimin scenarios #jimin angst #jimin soulmate au #bts angst #bts soulmate au #this was so fucking long im cryin #mochi #binding force #rae writes

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devinfm · 4 years

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hey there, demons! *ba tum tss* i’m sam and i also write parker ( @prkrfm ) which is the best place to contact me for plotting!

i. stats

𝔣𝔲𝔩𝔩 𝔫𝔞𝔪𝔢: jackson willard devin

𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔣𝔢𝔯𝔯𝔢𝔡 𝔫𝔞𝔪𝔢𝔰: jack, spooky guy, the night watchman

𝔥𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔱𝔬𝔴𝔫: salem, massachusetts

𝔡𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔟𝔦𝔯𝔱𝔥: ocotber 31st, 1995

𝔷𝔬𝔡𝔦𝔞𝔠: scorpio

𝔬𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫: demisexual

𝔬𝔠𝔠𝔲𝔭𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫: host of the graveyard shift, a radio program airing every weeknight from 12am to 5am

𝔭𝔬𝔰. 𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔦𝔱𝔰: captivating, witty, resolute.

𝔫𝔢𝔤. 𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔦𝔱𝔰: impulsive, gauche, naive.

ii. history

the graveyard shift is a radio program that airs every weeknight from 12am - 5am in the los angeles area and on apps such as iheartradio. jack hosts the show as his ( thinly veiled ) alter ego the night watchman and discusses topics such as the paranormal, conspiracy theories, and all things horror. it’s one of the most popular programs of the time slot in the country.

iii. extras

huge stoner. high as fuck 90% of the time, and the other 10% of the time he’s probably still high, just not as fuck.

HOWEVER, he did start the area 51 meme from last summer. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

BIG CHAOTIC ENERGY and ZERO IMPULSE CONTROL

a chatterbox with friends but don’t be fooled…he’s been giving his own dad the silent treatment for almost seven ( 7 ) years now. it’s his preferred method of expressing anger towards someone because he isn’t really a fan of confrontation, but he’s maybe a liiiittle bit stubborn.

he has a pet pied ball python named the crypt keeper ( tkc for short ) who he sometimes just carries with him because he likes to just chill wrapped around jack’s hand and arm.

iv. wanted connections

maternal or paternal cousins ( their grandparents probably live in boston or new england but otherwise anything goes for this )

close friends

friends

guests on his radio show

fans / haters of his radio show

people who don’t like him / find him annoying

exes ( 1 - 2, can be on good or bad terms )

“casually dating” but it might get real complicated soon - allie james

( these are just ideas and i’m trash at coming up with stuff, so please don’t feel limited by what’s listed here. )

#excess:intro #just posting for reference!

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xadoheandterra · 4 years

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Title: Bitter Night Fandom: Final Fantasy XV Chapters: I | II | III | IV | V | VI Characters: Noctis Lucis Caelum, Ardyn Izunia | Ardyn Lucis Caelum, Regis Lucis Caelum, Somnus Lucis Caelum, Kings Guard, The Fulgurian | Ramuh, The Lucii Tags: Time Travel, Fix-It Of Sorts, Angst, Hurt, Comfort Eventually, Ardyn and Noctis are both Assholes, Fuck the Gods Summary: He hadn't known what he was doing. All he knew was that he felt bitter in this endless night--bitter that the story needed to end like this. It felt like the Bad Ending and--well, Noctis hated getting Bad Endings in his games. He refused to.

So Noctis refused.

Everything hurt, Noctis could admit to that. It hurt in the way living hurt, and in the way dying hurt. It hurt with each struggle Noctis had to breathe, or the way his legs didn’t exactly want to work as he struggled to hold himself up against the edge of the stone and stared down at the crumpled form of Ardyn.

It also, Noctis began to notice, hurt less than it did when he first crashed into the ground at Ardyn’s feet. It hurt less the more he breathed and shifted closer to Ardyn. Each breath he took became less of a struggle, and he could see the faint edge of crystal flicker off the wound in his chest—a wound made out of his father’s blade, as it pierced him to his throne.

Noctis laughed, a bitter broken sound choked with his own tears as he leaned brokenly over the edge of stone brick and stared down at Ardyn. Ardyn who had only minutes early been strung up in familiar chains that burned sick in Noctis’ gut—strung up in a way that Noctis knew. He could see the Crystal still in the throne room and those black chains that pierced through it. The holes in Ardyn’s skin already were in the process of healing—dark miasma drifted off of the man as the skin nit closed, as he bled sluggishly from the old wounds.

They pierced his hands. Six, Noctis hadn’t realized the chains pierced Ardyn’s hands. No wonder the man wore his clothes like a shield, a mismatched set of nonsensical articles of clothing to keep the world away from the myriad of scars that lined his flesh. Noctis could see them now, as they closed up and left behind obvious puckered marks. Ardyn would be marred by the chains for the rest of his life.

Somnus really had been quite the utter dick, hadn’t he? Gods, and Noctis had him to thank for his family lineage. Noctis buried his face against his arm and choked down the hysterical laughter that wanted to burst out of him. Here he was, in Angelgard, with a man so untouched by time—without backup, without friends, denying destiny. Ah, the utter height of foolishness. Already he could feel the Lucii tenterhooks tug within his very soul.

End it, they demanded, voices loud in cacophonous silence. End it.

“Yeah,” Noctis wheezed, “no.” The world whited out into noise for a bright second, pain that drag through him enough to pull out a gutted scream until it burned back with bile in his throat. Noctis shuddered and choked into a gasp—

ENOUGH—

He cried, “Dad,” because that was Regis’ voice, louder than the rest—and then blissful silence that left Noctis alone with just the ragged breaths of a man he just dropped from chains and the weight of his sinful decisions to defy the gods. Noctis sucked in a choked breath and began to drag himself over to Ardyn with nails dug through the dirt and rock until his fingertips bled. His legs laid useless behind him even as he reached out and grasped at Ardyn’s flesh.

It didn’t matter what he did now, merely that he had to—Noctis defied the gods, they needed to leave. He dragged himself upright, and then struggled to pull Ardyn up against him. The dead weight of the taller man took all of Noctis’ dimished strength to hold upright until he could lean the man with the edge of his shoulder shoved up underneath Ardyn’s armpit. Sweat beaded at Noctis’ brow, but he puffed a stronger breath than before and his lungs didn’t feel like they would half-collapse in upon themselves anymore, so he took that and the steadier breaths out of Ardyn as a good sign.

“Gotta…move….”

As far as dumb and impulsive ideas went, Noctis felt this one so far seemed to turn out rather well as he raised his other hand and tugged at his connection to Ultima until the blade flung from where it’d been tossed into the ground and back into his palm. It felt heavier in his hand, and Noctis utterly shook with the effort to hold it up, but he could vaguely see an edge in the darkness where light threatened to sliver in, and with all his strength flung Ultima out. He had half-a-second to tighten his grip on Ardyn’s waist before he dragged them both along the path of the blade and out into the moonlight.

Ardyn was completely dead weight, so when Noctis landed with his useless legs and the dead weight of Ardyn against his side, he crumpled to the ground with Ardyn atop him. The breath stole from his lungs with a wheezing gasp as six feet of muscle crashed down upon him. He struggled to shove the older man off—scrambled his hands against the bareness of Ardyn’s chest and shoved and heaved until he could roll himself away and roll Ardyn off him.

The sky was dark, but the moon shone down upon them and Noctis sucked in a deep and for once unbarred breath. He took in the sights, the smells, and the dizzying way he felt with his magic drained precariously as it was—and laughed. Six, what had he been thinking? This night had dragged on, and on, and on—and now Ardyn was here with him, unconscious and so-so—young. It struck Noctis how young Ardyn looked.

Face soft, confused, hurt and at a loss—Ardyn stared at him as he told his story, the tale of the ‘Usurper King’ and his older brother—the Founder that never-was.

Noctis hadn’t paid much attention to Ardyn’s words, but then he’d had ten years to contemplate the way the man spoke—and the soft edged pleading tone he’d spoken with. It struck Noctis how young Ardyn looked then, how soft his face and eyes had been—and reminded Noctis of the few times he’d seen the man without the face pinched in some fashion or form were rare. As Ardyn spoke of who he had been there was a gentleness that Noctis saw tucked away beneath the bitterness and hatred.

“You…” Noctis mumbled, and pointed a finger tiredly at the unconscious Ardyn, “…are a piece of shit.” He dropped the hand over his eyes and sighed. “And so am I. Fuck.”

The voices registered with a sort of distance; Noctis had spent a while with just his own breath and Ardyn’s on the rocky outcropping of Angelgard to rest. He couldn’t really do much of anything anyway except drag himself about, grasp at Ardyn’s dead weight, and fling Ultima around. Warping so often and so much after the night he had would drain him further, so Noctis waited and rested and regained his strength.

Maybe, also, Noctis tried to get his damned legs to move—to feel—to do something with frustrated tears and a bitter memory of a time when the world ended for an eight year old boy. The tenterhooks of the Lucii flexed with the memory, and a soft and soreness wound through his mind like static until the first of the voices registered with distance.

“It came from over here.”

“Are you sure? Isn’t that the entrance?”

“Fuck if I know, but do you want to risk it? What if it’s escaped?”

“Six damn it all.”

It? Noctis thought, and then frowned at the curl of bitterness and regret that flashed through him.

I—

Dad?

Half-a-second later there was a yell. “Adagium!”

Noctis rolled himself over and flung out his hand for Ultima in a flash. He dragged himself upward by his blade as best he could and then his eyes widened. The uniform was uniquely Kingsglaive, but the men and women held back for half a second with their eyes trained upon—Ardyn. Noctis glanced to Ardyn, then glanced back to the Kingsglaive—and then to the ‘entrance’ behind them which was little more than a long and thin gap in the wall. He could see clearly the way that Ardyn would hang in the darkness, and then the sun would rise—and the light pierce through that little gap—

You tortured him, it struck Noctis like lightning. The light would hurt Ardyn, who rested in the dark and was surely more daemon than man some days. It would burn and ache—how Ardyn would scream. You bastard. You tortured him.

“Get it back inside before it wakes!” another of the Glaive uttered and Noctis snapped his gaze back toward them.

What?

Something feral light inside him; he felt his hands tremble as he held Ultima while half-curled upright. Noctis’ lips curled back into a snarl—

“Who’s that beside it?”

“Doesn’t matter. Get it back inside now!”

—hell no, he thought furiously. His mind already worked hard to figure out how these were Glaive, here, when Noctis had learned that the Glaive were born of his father’s idea. A way for the broken and destitute of Lucis to fight back, gifted with the King’s magic—and then the thought that if these were Glaive then that meant they were here upon orders of the throne.

Did you know?

Silence; the tenterhooks upon his soul eased up and away. The Lucii backed off, and Noctis thrust Ultima into the ground and dragged himself inch by inch up the blade. He forced his legs to work as he pulled himself tall.

Did you know, dad? Did you torture him? Did you continue this—this cruelty?

The silence rang loud, louder than the Lucii’s earlier fury at Noctis’ utter refusal to ‘end it’ back within the cell. It rang with a truth that Noctis wanted to disbelieve, except the truth lay stark in front of his face. The ground sparked in front of him, mimicked his fury at the thought that his family—his entire line—had been complicit in the torture of a man who once sought only to heal.

Does this make you happy, Somnus, to see what you’ve reduced us to? Noctis thought, bitter and fury and spite all within him.

“Shit—the fuck is going on?!”

“Who is this guy?!”

“Can it—just take him down!”

A storm called and raged around them until Noctis finally, finally, reached his full height and stood on unsteady legs that he couldn’t feel. His hands shook and he stared at the Glaive who refused to move closer, frozen by the strikes of lightning and electricity that seemed to surround Noctis and Ardyn—at the way the world lit purple-black with oppressive magic. Normally the feel of it would drive Noctis to his knees, but this time Noctis raised his head to the sky—to the storm—and screamed.

“DID. YOU. KNOW?!”

The sky’s parted, and the Fulgurian stared back.

#fanfic #fic: bitter night #noctis lucis caelum #ardyn izunia #somnus lucis caelum #ramuh

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fluidityandgiggles · 5 years

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Sleep Is For The Weak - Chapter 16

Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 5, Chapter 10, Last Chapter

Writing Masterlist - for previous chapters not otherwise linked, Read on AO3

Notes (I guess): I realize it took me way too long to do this, but I can explain. Uhh...

So for those of you who don’t know, I haven’t been home since September, and I won’t be home for another... two weeks, more or less? I’ve been to places where I couldn’t know if I’d have working wifi or any wifi at all so updating this fic has been a mission. So I do whatever I can to update at reasonable times.

With that being said, I finished this chapter way back last month while on a two week long trek in Nepal and haven’t had the opportunity to upload it, so I’m grateful I can now. Because this one... was a hell of an exposition ride for a lot of shit I planned a long long time ago.

Quick disclaimer - some bits of this chapter deal with the definition of transgender, and a specific learning disorder. The definition of transgender mentioned in this chapter has been taken from the DSM-IV-TR, which is a defunct edition of the DSM that came out in the year 2000 and has been replaced by the DSM-5 in 2013. The definition has since been changed and separated, and I believe it is now called gender dysphoria, though I’m not quite sure. But it does not reflect my opinions on how dysphoria is related to being trans, I do believe (and have several sources to back me up, including the DSM-5) that you don’t have to be dysphoric to be trans. The same goes for this learning disorder, what is said in this chapter reflects only the way the characters think of it - and it will change later on, I can assure you - and not at all what I would think or say about it.

As is tradition, thanks to @whatwashernameagain for KHS and for all her patience with me and my shenanigans (and not getting frustrated with my stupid ideas) and to @broadwaytheanimatedseries for the original idea and for giving me the best commentary for my screenshots when I send them. And also to @winglessnymph , @asleepybisexual and @anony-phangirl , who have fallen out of the loop but are still there. I know I haven’t sent you anything much in recent days, but... still.

Tag list (sort of): @bunny222, @ab-artist, @sweet-and-sour-shadowling, @ilovemygaydad, @your-username-is-unavailable, @virgilcrofters, @violetblossem, @maybe-i-like-the-misery, @book-of-charlie, @thatsanswitch, @thatrandomautist, @thebiggestgaypirate, @marshmallow-the-panda

(Wanna be tagged? Lemme know!)

Trigger warning: period appropriate transphobia (the early 00s were not exactly trans-friendly). This chapter also includes (rather controversial) opinions/ideas about the definition of transgender (as mentioned in a now-defunct, but then the most recent, edition of the DSM), discussion of abortion, mentions of past self-harm, discussion of personality disorders and hospitalization, panic attacks, and description of rejection sensitive dysphoria. I’m pretty sure I forgot something though, so let me know if I have so I can add it.

—————

Friday, May 30th, 2003

"...your valedictorian, Jenna Miranda Wheeler."

"Class of 2003…"

New York was beautiful in May.

Sadly, that was not where Remy was heading today.

According to Linda, Stephen was going to go on a business trip for at least two weeks in June, starting late May. So Remy was invited over for the summer. Not his first choice, but Leah begged him to come and Emile said that it might be a good idea. But…

Spending more than a day at Linda's, combined with the knowledge that Jenna and India have graduated just a few days ago and Chris hasn't, was a good enough reason for Remy to feel shitty. And he did.

The main upside was that Georgia was beautiful in May too.

He managed to cheer himself up somewhat by thinking of the good things that happened this month - Emile's TOVA results (9/9 inattentive symptoms, 4/9 hyperactive-impulsive, definitely has inattentive type ADHD), India's name being called at graduation instead of her deadname, Jenna graduating valedictorian, his friends moving to Virginia and so on - by the time the taxi from the airport pulled up in front of the, by now, rather familiar house.

And then his stomach dropped.

Stephen was still there.

"Do you need help with those bags, Rebecca?" He asked, eyeing the massive, neon pink duffel bag and the incredibly heavy purple backpack that sat on the sidewalk near Remy as he tapped his foot nervously.

"Not from you I don't. Thanks for the offer, but… no thanks."

He was too proud to admit that the duffel was too heavy for him to lift and he could barely drag it, but he packed most of his clothes and books in it. Some were mailed home. But not most.

"That shit gotta be heavy as fuck—"

"I said, no thank you. Now, move out of my fucking way."

Leah was napping by the time he finally dragged everything inside, but Rachel was doodling in the living room, smiling brightly when she saw him come through the door. She abandoned her crayons and waddled all the way to hug him.

As much as he barely knew her, Remy definitely loved Rachel too.

"I'm going to daycare," she mumbled somewhat, trying to use words she didn't quite know yet. "You have to come!"

"You're such a big girl!" He ruffled her pigtails, picking her up. She was so light for a two-year old. "Going to daycare already?"

"Mmhm."

"I'm so proud of you!"

She just hugged his neck and babbled on about her friends and daycare, her hand flying and her almost falling from his hold. This was another happy thing to add to the list.

He wasn't happy. But this was happy. For now.

—————

Stephen left on his business trip at around seven thirty, and Remy took a huge sigh of relief. Leah also woke up from her nap a few hours earlier, all grumpy and upset for some reason, and Remy tried talking her into telling him why she was so upset.

Linda said it was because of the nap. Leah only got even more upset.

"Why am I here?" Remy asked during dinner, while Leah entertained herself (and he was sure she didn't notice much) and Rachel was almost dozing off. "We haven't had a single good interaction since I was five years old, Linda."

"Am I no longer allowed to want to be around my son, Remy?" She stung back, looking anything but as aggressive as she just sounded.

"I'll be honest with you, kid. I know you don't like me. I can understand why. But what I don't understand is why you're bringing this up in front of your younger sisters. They're too young for this to—"

"I saw a movie about penguins on TV," Leah started rambling. "They're really weird…"

The argument stopped just as quickly as it started, and Leah was allowed to go on and on about penguins bringing rocks to each other. So he proceeded to just glare at Linda, who helped Rachel eat her pasta. This was awful, this was absolutely the worst situation he could've found himself in, and… he just wanted out.

And he kept wanting out even as Rachel already went to sleep, Leah was busy doing her homework last minute, and Linda asked Remy to help her clean up.

"I'm only here because Leah asked me to," he almost hissed as he was tasked with packing the leftovers in incredibly familiar tupperware containers.

"I want to spend more time with you, Remy. I'm still your mother—"

"Well, you haven't acted like it, like, ever!"

Linda sighed, putting the plate she was holding in the dishwasher. "I don't want to sound like I'm making any excuses—"

"So don't make any."

"—but I was barely your age when I had you. This is no excuse, I'm not trying to say that I had no idea what I was doing because of that, but I sacrificed so much of my life to raise you!"

"You could've aborted me! You could've been smart and used protection in the first place!"

"Condoms aren't a fail-proof—"

"Face it, Linda. You never wanted me. You're not homophobic or transphobic for the sake of it, it's clear you have at least some level of respect to queer people. You just never wanted me in the first place."

The next plate she was holding broke in the sink. "How fucking dare you say that?!"

"I'm just saying—"

"I have never wanted something in my life more than I wanted you!" Her screams hurt Remy's ears, going as far as to make Leah cry in the other room. Linda immediately lowered her voice. "I know I've been a bad mother to you. I regret every decision I've ever made while I was married to your father, except being married to him and having you. And I've spent every day since leaving you and your father regretting my decisions, and wanting to make it up to you, but you kept pushing me away. How do you think that makes me feel, huh? Do you still think you're the only one who's been robbed of something in this relationship?"

"...you had Leah while you were still married to Dad" was all he could say. And he hoped he'd have the last word. "Was she a mistake too?"

Sadly, you can't always get what you want.

"Leah… is problematic. But she wasn't a mistake either. None of you are, and you can stop saying that. Whatever is wrong with her does not make her a mistake. Just as your gender identity disorder does not make you a mistake."

"No, you're right. It doesn't. It makes me transgender. A female-to-male man. You know those terms? Female to male, transgender? It's what people call it nowadays."

There was another long moment of silence as Linda cleaned up the broken plate and Remy finished packing up the leftovers, and Leah stopped crying.

It was a stressful silence. Very typical of home life with Linda Brigham-Hollander.

"...you may not have come at a time I liked," she sighed after everything, falling into a chair. Remy was ready to leave the kitchen, but this wouldn't let him. "I know we could've… waited a few more years. But you came when you did, and I don't regret that. You were never a mistake. I may have a hard time understanding… what… your identity. I'm trying my best to educate myself now, you know—"

"That's almost five years too late."

"I don't know what Leah told you about her school life, but whatever hardships she got understanding stuff—"

"She has no trouble understanding stuff as far as I can see—"

"Educational stuff. School material. She got that from me. Education comes harder for me, you may not know that. I was never the brightest student and I only completed my high school diploma when you were three years old. Don't get me wrong, this has nothing to do with you. But I couldn't learn when you asked me to. It felt like—"

"Linda, it didn't take Dad five years to be able to call me by my name and use the correct pronouns. Even if you don't mean it this way, this is bullshit to me. And I hope you get it."

And then he got up and left, leaving her to her own. If she cried, well… that's none of his business.

—————

Sunday, June 8th, 2003

Nathalie and Emile were getting ready for the Tony awards when Emile had a panic attack.

No, that's not true. Emile has been having panic attacks all week long for some weird reason he couldn't explain, most likely not being able to talk to Remy all week long since his phone died and he couldn't get a new one just yet. But today was the worst one. So Julie lent him her phone for a call, to explain himself so he won't panic so much, but…

But Remy wouldn't understand. He'd be mad if Emile tried to call him from Julie's phone because of some panic attacks… and then he'd hate him, and then… and then…

Then he wouldn't have a best friend anymore…

What was India's phone number again…?

She picked up on the fourth ring. "India McGinty—"

"It's Emile," he almost sobbed the second she picked up. "I… I have a question…"

"Oh, honey, of course. What is it?"

"Do you think Remy would hate me…? My phone died and I can't get another one until next week and—"

"Emile, are you… are you crying right now?"

"No… I did before, I just…"

She sighed before clearing her throat. That's it, she hates him too—

"Do you mind if I pass you over to Jenna? She's better at this than me."

"...okay…"

"...Emile?" Jenna's voice was softer than India's somehow. She'd never raise her voice, but Emile was scared of the people who'd be there when she does once she becomes a lawyer. "Can you please explain what's going on?"

"Well… my phone died, and I can't tell Remy because he's with his mom and I don't wanna call him while he's with his mom, so I'm scared that if I don't talk to him all summer he'll hate me and then he won't talk to me anymore and I can't—"

"Let's slow down, you're only upsetting yourself. Remy is your best friend, right?"

"Yeah… I mean, I like him a bit more but, but it's not like I can just tell him that, and…"

"That's fine, we're not gonna focus on this for now. That's for another time. But he's your best friend, right?"

"Yeah, I just told you!"

"So why would he hate you for something like that? He's going to understand, I'm sure."

"I don't… know… it just feels like he might…"

"I know. This feeling fucking sucks, doesn't it?" She chuckled. Emile couldn't answer to that. He just… he couldn't. "But it's not healthy to dwell on this feeling. It might become a self-fulfilling prophecy if you fret about it so much."

"What do you mean…?"

"...have I ever told you that I was institutionalized until my second year of college?"

He couldn't stop his jaw from dropping. "No…"

"Okay. So I'll tell you now. I… how squeamish are you? I don't want to… trigger anything…"

"I don't know… I don't… I don't think I really mind much…?"

"Okay, I… I'll censor it anyway. Is that okay with you?"

"Yeah."

"So when I was fourteen, I started harming myself. It's not… it was what you'd think, but not for the most part. I didn't cut really. But my parents knew, and they gave a ton of fucks and not just because they had a reputation to uphold like I thought they did back then. They just… they gave all the fucks."

"Okay… I'm sorry, I didn't—"

"Don't apologize, you had no part in this. And you never will. I promise."

"Okay."

"Two years after I started, my parents sent me to a psych ward. At that time they thought I was depressed, it was too early to diagnose me properly, so… I've lived for three years on doses of antidepressants that didn't do a whole lot, because nobody knew. I was finally diagnosed with borderline personality disorder when I was nineteen, my medication prescription was fixed and I was let out of there when they decided I'm doing well enough to be able to live on my own again. I spent my first year of law school with a nurse attached to my hip, can you imagine?" She laughed, and Emile struggled to hold back a smile.

"Actually yeah… my sister is narcoleptic…"

"Oh shoot, sorry… didn't mean that. Anyway… back to the topic at hand, yeah? I was… infatuated, for a lack of a better word, with this guy. His name was David. I thought I was in love with him, but it turned out I idolized him to a point where he became my favorite person, and that was an incredibly toxic experience. He was like… like Angelina Jolie in Girl, Interrupted. But dialed up to eleven. He was a fucking asshole and I haven't seen him in years… he was transferred to another place after an incident that involved one of my friends, she ended up almost killing herself because of this guy. And my anxiety over being perfect for him, over making him like me and making sure that he keeps liking me, made me extremely unhealthy in the long run."

There was a pause, possibly for Emile to process. Most likely. This wasn't fair… this was totally not fair! Why did good people have to go through shitty things?

"My next favorite person after him was a girl I dated for a couple months before India." Jenna sounded kind of breathless at that, as if she was crying herself. "And… she made me talk to her. She asked me questions for clarification all the time and helped me with my anxiety, especially when I felt like this. I was tiring, but… it's the effort she put into this that counted. Emile… you gotta talk to Remy."

"But… but I can't…"

"Who said? Communication is key. I know it might be really hard, especially for you, but… call him. It's his birthday soon, right? In July?"

"Yeah…"

"Call him. Write down everything you want to tell him and tell him then. I promise it'll make your anxiety a lot easier to manage."

————

"Remy," Linda called from the living room as he was heading to bed. This was becoming ridiculous…

"I told you, I'm not talking to you for the rest of this—"

"I can't read a single word in this cursed book of yours."

"...what book?"

"This DSM thing. Remy, darling, why do you need this book? It's so difficult to understand, couldn't they have written better books about this?"

He ended up not going to bed after all, instead resorting to making himself tea and going to sit on the couch next to her.

"Mom, that's… that's the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders, mom. It's existed since the fifties. This is the revised version. They can't make it simpler to understand, I don't think."

"Well, your grandma's always said that if a child can't understand what's written, it's because the writer is bad at what they're doing."

"And so have a lot of my professors, but sadly this is what we have to work with. What's so confusing anyway?"

"I was trying to read about your… your thing, the gender identity disorder thing…" she turned the book to him. The passages in this section have been highlighted the day he bought the book and he knew them by heart. Well, for the most part. "I'm sorry, but the words are just… long and confusing."

"...that's fine… it's totally fine, I can… I can simplify it for you…"

"I don't need you to simplify it for me, I know English. I just… I can't read this! Big and confusing academic paper words."

Oh fuck…

"I'm a painter, not an academic, Remy. I can't read. You know this. You've known this forever."

"I forgot you're dyslexic…"

"And what does forgetting that help you?"

"Nothing… let's… let's go over this together, okay? The sections that apply to me." He waited for Linda to nod, rather reluctantly, before putting on his own pair of reading glasses.

"So, to diagnose someone with gender identity disorder there are two criteria, identifying with the opposite gender and feeling dysphoria. In order to meet those criteria, you gotta not be intersex, which I think is pretty stupid, and also it has to affect your daily life."

"Yeah, I know that. Your shrink told us that when you were fourteen. Let's move on, okay?"

"...okay. In boys, aka trans girls, this doesn't apply to me… okay. Girls with GID, aka trans boys, display a intense negative reactions to parental expectations, blah blah blah, you never had any expectations of me so this doesn't apply…"

"No no no no no, you will read this out. No skipping."

"Okay, fine! Girls with GID display intense negative reactions to parental expectations or attempts to have them wear dresses or other feminine attire. Some may refuse to attend school or social events where such clothes may be required... They prefer boy's clothing and short hair, are often misidentified by strangers as boys, and may ask to be called a boy's name. Reminds you of something?"

"...go on."

"Their fantasy heroes, yeah no, I never had fantasy heroes…"

"You had She-Ra."

"Yeah, but she made me gay, not trans, mom. Prefer boys as playmates, contact sports… yeah, none of that either…"

"You used to play soccer as a kid. Your dad has a lot of pictures of that, you know."

"I… didn't actually know that… huh."

"You didn't learn to kick a ball from your father, though. I'll tell you that."

It took a bit of time for Remy to stop himself from giggling, deciding to sip his tea instead. It didn't work very well.

"Yeah… well… moving on, ‘they show little interest in dolls or any form of feminine dress up or role-play activity. A girl with this disorder may occasionally refuse to urinate in a sitting position. She may claim that she has or will grow a penis and may not want to grow breasts or menstruate. She may assert that she will grow up to be a man. Such girls typically reveal marked cross-gender identification in role-play, dreams and fantasies.' Does any of this sound familiar, mom? Because I don't… I don't actually know."

"Until now… yeah. All of that sounds incredibly familiar. Look, I…"

"I know what's you're gonna say, and please don't. It's fine. I know you panicked, I know you said things you didn't mean to, but… can we leave that for now? That's a bridge we're gonna deal with later. Now, adults with GID…"

They ended up staying up for far longer than either of them wanted to, but it was alright. Linda wanted to learn. Remy was willing to teach her.

They only barely made it to bed at three in the morning, the page bookmarked for tomorrow, when they'll continue reading.

#kylo cant write #sanders sides #remy/sleep #emile picani #keep him safe #sleep is for the weak #the remy centric prequel #tw: period appropriate transphobia #tw: mental health discussion #tw: invalid/defunct definition of transgender #tw: discussion of abortion #tw: mentions of self-harm #tw: personality disorders #tw: hospitalization #tw: panic attacks #tw: rejection sensitive dysphoria #wow this is a long one

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