#im so afraid that one day i will have no one left | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

omori-headspace · 2 years

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i aint feeling too sunny today

(im venting in the tags so. yeah)

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ratskool · 6 months

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I’m like Johnny Truant in the tags of every goddamn post I make or reblog on this site and I’m not apologizing. If you want me to apologize come over to my house and you can talk to the minotaur about it

#House of leaves #im literally going insane these days I should go back to journaling but I’m also afraid of how far off the deep end I’ll go #Literally I am losing it and I’m being serious #I’m so fucking tired of being lonely and being left out and not being able to make connections #Sometimes I feel as if im doing things without realizing and no one is telling me about it #Other times it feels like I must have something incredibly wrong with my face or body and no one will say anything #People make plans and don’t bother to ask me if I want to join and then when I find out there’s a group chat that all my friends are in #Except me and when I asked if I could join I was given a bunch of reasons that were frankly bullshit why I couldn’t join #Are they talking shit about me? I know everybody there it’s not like I am a stranger #Am I just a stranger in this world as I unllikeable? I try my best to be nice and charitable but what am I missing?#Do I black out and say things and do things? Am I more mentally ill than I know?#The only reason (or one of the very few) why I stay alive is because of my horses because I know they would miss me and I already feel bad #Not seeing them everyday #I’m tired of being the odd one out I’m tired of being entertaining when necessary #I don’t want my only friends to be horses because it further alienates me from the rest of society and I just want to be accepted I’m not #Looking to fit in I just want connection and friendship and I can barely seem to manage that #Maybe I’m just not worth it.

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arthur-r · 6 months

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lyrics: i’m a silly stupid angel, smile sweetly as you watch / and my wings are frail and brittle, and i whisper when i talk / please don’t remind me of the role i’m here to play / please god forgive me for the things that i can’t say / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / i’m your soulmate in denial, self esteem gets in the way / and i’m just a little child who won’t live to see the day / when i’m regarded as a human being too / but all your lies just start to blend into my truth / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / don’t try to tell me i’m not happy / don’t try to tell me this is wrong / don’t try to tell me that i’m broken / cause by now i’m too far gone / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment / self actualization, maybe this is how it ends / i fall into formation, service is my fulfillment

#hi i have a very important linguistics paper due in seven hours but i am distracting myself by playing vent music #inspired by: i typed out a long tagful of venting on wednesday night and then realized it was dumb to post it but it included the words #‘‘tomorrow i will smile like a silly stupid angel’’ and so then the next day which is yesterday when i was once again anxious #then i wrote that part into a song. and now my roommate finally left the room for long enough that i could record it. very roughly #one of those songs where i need to get to a piano and figure out what the real chords are. but here it is for now #anyway this is about suppressing yourself in order to be more easily objectified!!!! because you feel like that’s your innate purpose #the deeper meaning of your life perhaps. the person you need to actualize. that is why i wrote this song #something something i don’t actually think this wrote this during an anxiety attack etc. me when it’s 2 in the morning on a wednesday night #and i have a midterm in the morning but i’m too busy sobbing to either study or sleep. college!! so much fun!!!!#anyways. i’m normal now basically. aside from extremely important paper due seven hours from now #but here is a song right now. i feel like a lot of us are struggling in the same boat #and i definitely am. PS this is not even about my relationship that im in right now. which is good shdhdf that would be an awful start #it’s literally so inapplicable to my current relationship. but i am just still insane. and so i am still upset and afraid. so yeah #anyway i’m in a little bit of a weird way i’m sorry for speaking weird and whatever. looking forward to dinner i think #i hope everyone is doing well. and let me know if you need anything #sending love from depression dorm room. and hope everyone is holding it together okay #me. my post. mine.#delete later #ask to tag

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fuckmeyer · 1 year

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(Jacobsbadwig) with all due respect, when the fuck did you get back! I missed you!

never left, only reincarnated :)

#i missed you too!!!!!! how's the fanfic going???? well i hope :)#it has been a Time #my burnout & mental illness got the better of me. i intended on divorcing myself from fandom & deleting my blog #i wanted to make myself as small as possible so i could spend whatever energy i had on work and drugs #i was afraid my presence was negatively affecting the fandom at best & contributing nothing at worst #it didn't feel like there was any place for me anymore - not because of anything anyone said or did but bc #many posts i made i no longer agreed w/ & bc i was too burnt out to write new theories i figured no one would notice or care i was gone #so i got super drunk and deleted everything #people contacted me about my blog but i was too anxious to reply #bc i didn't want to admit i had made a mistake #i kept the handle in case i ever wanted to post #but for a long time i had nothing to say about twilight outside of what my fanfiction had to say about it #i lurked for a while & at the end of the day i missed the community that came with participating in fandom #really tho - what helped was quitting my crushing job and taking several months to travel around the pacific northwest #(burnout is REAL!!!!!!)#and the admin of the twilight Discord server recognizing my handle & taking the time to talk to me - which was very sweet of them #plus - i am rereading Eclipse for the fanfic rewrite and began to have Thoughts #tbh i've been finding it amazing that anyone ever noticed i left or remembered my handle! im kinda blown away #anyway here's all the information you never asked for LMAO #i am happy to be back in the circle :)#cheers to you #<3

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cannot-copia · 2 years

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just applied for the job i had during college and honestly it feels bad man

everyone I know is actually accomplishing things with their life, buying property, getting promotions, getting their masters etc

fuck, even my cousin who is several years younger than me and has very little to no college (aka doesn’t have student loan debt) just got a management position at a fortune 100 company and is now making more than 60k

And where am I now?

Couldn’t do my job at the big company I was supposed to work at, where I had insurance and got paid enough to actually pay for things

all I do now is feeding horses and basically just putting them in different places 4 hours a day 6 days a week for less than what I made ever since I started working and living off that and what’s left of what I had accumulated in my 401k at my old job (that im gonna have to pay thousands of taxes on for taking it out too early im sure) and therefore fucking myself over for the future- everyone always says start young well I did and I’m too fucking useless to function without wanting to remove my skin apparently so I fucked that up

And yeah it was just an online application so I don’t know how likely it is they’ll even respond and hire me again but I feel like I am going backwards

I did what everybody always insisted I had to do

i went to college

i got a “real” (office) job

i got more than 25k student loan debt I have not been able to make even a dent in

and what do i have to show for it? even worse mental illness? A piece of paper that said i went to college? Crippling fear of answering a phone? an extreme hate for the way I look now?

and now im (at least attempting) to go back to where I was before all that bc that’s the only place i can think of will hire me, to a job I did not enjoy whatsoever, where I am going to have to explain to the high schoolers that would be working closing shift that I will have to do after the morning job like yeah i left here 3 years ago for a competitive job that paid twice as much at one of the (apparently voted) best employers in the city that everyone wants to work for but I threw it all away bc im a useless fucking idiot and now I’m back here working fast food watching all these people who will go to school and get the jobs they want and not fuck it up and actually be successful and move on with their lives

it just,,, it doesn’t feel good

i feel like I’ll never get anywhere so what’s even the point

#and I know you’re probably thinking oh well you have horses you must have plenty of money etc #thing is i work at the place i keep them i do not pay regular price or I would not afford them at all #I’ve only ended up with as many as i have bc at my old #job i made just enough to not be negative every month #and now I can’t get rid of them because I am afraid to talk to people and ended up very attached to one we got with the intention to sell #after a few months #and the other we have had for 10 years now but she would need to be consigned somewhere to get what she’s worth #which requires /talking to people/#so while I previously could just about afford them I can’t now unless something majorly changes #once i run out of what’s left of my 401k i will not have the money to pay for them #yes i know buying ghost tickets with that was an idiotic thing to do but it temporarily made me happy #which is also another reason i want to try to avoid getting rid of the horses if at all possible #sounds stupid but at this point without them there would really be no point in being here #they’re the only reason I talk to anybody at all these days and they are capable of making me happy #im sorry i feel like i have been complaining on here a lot more frequently lately and i don’t think anybody wants to see shit like this on #their dash but i don’t really have anywhere else to say things #anybody irl always just says ‘well other people did x/it was your decision to y/etc #the shitty insurance I have now does not cover anxiety/depression things I have not been taking any and I have a feeling it is not helping #delete later

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jonny-b-meowborn · 8 months

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My bestie is moving out for college this week and I don't know how to cope with that. I don't know how can I handle being alone again

#shes everything to me #the love of my life my soulmate #and i want whats best for her i cheered her on to get to that college and find a room and move out from her shitty parents #but yknow. it hurts to be left behind #shes not going that far. i think its about five hours from here?#but thats still more than living five minutes apart #i will still visit her but we won't do errands around town together #or even just see each other on the street when neither of us have the time or energy to hang out but we say hi #or go on long walks and do nothing together #what im saying is. i already miss her and theres still a few days left #tomorrow were having a picnic if the weather allows #but man i am so bad at any kind of goodbyes #i am so afraid that she will find friends shell like more than me and wont want to hang out with me anymore #i dont want to lose her. i cant lose her #i dont have anyone else #i do have a few friends but none of them are so close to me #both emotionally and physically i have literally no one in this town #i already feel alone #i have only her and now shes leaving #god i feel like a child again when my dad moved out to germany #christ #bee buzz

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vrsmth · 8 months

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being the only autistic kid in a small town school was probably the worst experience a person can ever have

#i live in the middle of nowhere and i went to a school that had like 20 other people in my grade #and iwas the only one who didn’t fit the mold of cishet neurotypical christian whatever whatever #i also had anger issues from having my home life be fucking awful n people loved to use that to their advantage #imagine having a whole school constantly gang up on you for literally just existing #why does my existence make you want to fucking murder me i dont understand #i still feel to this day as if i shouldn’t be allowed to live and that everyone on the planet hates me #thank god high school was a better experience for me even tho some ppl had issues with me i ended up finding true friends #bc i left there lmao #im literally going to change my legal name one day bc im afraid of being known as that one weird girl in middle school.#why do i have to live this life?#i never share my face online for this reason too #what if one of my bullies finds out abt me and starts going off in the comments about how i was weird in middle school???? it’s fucking ……#i don’t go out bc im afraid of ppl recognizing me. for existing.#actually autistic #cptsd #bullying #so fun……………….

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orcelito · 9 months

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Tally's just a liiiiittle bit fed up with my clinginess today

Can't help it tho. She's my baby.

#speculation nation #and i spent an hour in a panic spiral over her and then 5 more hours compartmentalizing and Not Thinking About It #she's fine though. just got a little sick this morning but she seems to be feeling better.#probably just ate smth she wasnt supposed to. it happens.#but ykno. i hesitate to throw around the word 'trauma' willy-nilly. considering it has a lot of weight to it.#but i really do think ive got some trauma due to the cat deaths.#how else would i explain me having a whole panic spiral over tally just throwing up?#it almost makes me wonder whether i should bother with more cats after them. but i know i couldnt live without them.#ive spent all but 3 years of my entire life living with cats. i cant live without them.#but after some untimely ends i am just... so fucking afraid.#tally's about 3 years old now. she should have plenty of life left to live.#but cassy wasnt even 2 years old. and look how that turned out.#i got young cats purposefully bc i didnt want to have to say goodbye to them for a While. and then i had to anyways.#and im always so fucking anxious that im going to have to again. constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop #so when Anything happens i end up a total mess no matter how minor it is...#im sick of it. im so sick of the uncertainty. sick of being scared ill wake up one day to another cat dying.#and theres not really any way to make it better. days and weeks and months and hopefully years #just spent waiting for the other shoe to drop.#i just hope it wont come for a while still. so i can have at least a few years of peace.#animal death ment/#negative/#sorry for the vent etc etc im just. i wish i could bundle them up and keep them in my life forever.#but it doesnt work that way unfortunately. lifetime disparity really is so awful.

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pepprs · 2 years

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ok update i just finished making my card and i said / drew (lol) basically everything i wanted to say in it (except for the things i definitely can’t say now that this is happening lol). so i think maybe i might be ok with not saying what i want to say directly to her. but then when i say that im not ok with it at all LOLLLL so i think i need to sleep on it and maybe see what tomorrow brings

#purrs #sobbed hysterically writing the message and that was like 4 hrs ago (yeah.) and im still like dizzy and puffy eyed from it. i am not having #a good time lol. and it’s only going to get more intense this whole week and i don’t know if i can handle it. ive been overstimulated /#sleep deprived for like 2 straight days bc yesterday i was doing everything in my power to avoid thinking abt it and today i was doing #everything in mt power TO think abt it including being subjected to things that were hard and ofc the walk being a flop kinda lol. but omg.#mutuals i know it’s so deeply cringe but i have been vagueposting abt my work life since before i even got the fucking job. i know i look #mentally ill about it and i definitely am but my colleagues past and present are my best friends and my number 1 reason to be alive #actually. so this is just. idk. this feels very……. especially when this is someone who was never supposed to leave this suddenly. who i thou #thought i had years and years left with. and it’s just over like that and we have to say goodbye and i know it’s not even that big of a move #but it’s actually killing me. like physically. that this is happening rn. i don’t know what the fuck im going to do. and we aren’t even f #gonna be able to grieve openly at all but we are grieving and she doesn’t even.. like idk. maybe it just hasn’t occurred to her that we are.#but we literally are and its soooooooo bad. it’s so bad. i feel like im having a bad dream every day. i already felt like nothing was real #anymore and this helped abt -50000% with that sensation. like wtf is going on rn. she’s LEAVING. ON FRIDAY. FOREVER. FUCK!#but uh yeah the point is i do want to talk to her and if it was anyone else i would. but when it comes to emotional stuff and being honest #w each other abt how one makes the other feel… we are incompatible im afraid. she doesn’t want to talk abt it and all i want to do is talk b #but im shy and weak so i cave and just do everything in my power to give her what she needs and then i feel shattered for the rest of the #day / week / whatever. it fucking sucks and im not like that w anyone else in my little irl world (except my p*rents ofc LMAO) but it’s like #onmgggggg. can we please just talk abt how it is so painful you are doing this and comfort each other in it somehow. LOL! like i am in so mu #much pain i can’t even speak and she didn’t even look at me when i flicked my eyes over to her during the silences. CRINGE! girl she doesn’t #care about you 😭😭😭😭 except she does. idk. it’s just sooooo. idk. my brain is not right it hasn’t been since i got the news. i think im dying #delete later #OMG ALSO it is now the wee hours of july 26 which means that 3 yrs ago right abt now i did something so very stupid that made me have my #first very bad breakdown ever and it led to me realizing i needed counseling again. so maybe in the spirit of this anniversary i will do #this stupid thing (of asking to talk and then saying what i want to say even though i wrote it out) and then have a very bad breakdown and t #then go to counseling 🥳✌️

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unholyplumpprincess · 2 years

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Screams into hands

#princess grumbles #I want! 24 hours! just one full day of being okay!#I hate you summer i really hate that youre a trigger. awhole ass season #couldnt be smth i could reasonably avoid could ya huh #im just getting worse and im so afraid of myself #holding it in my chest isnt good for me but im so scared of talking to anyone about it bc its just #people thinking im upset at them or theyve done something but i wpuld have Told Them #and then im left comforting other people and im just #im so stretched thin #im in sp much pain and emotional turmoil and I know it's just yhe peak i kniw ir is i get like this every year #I KNOW it's bc of the heat and the memories I kniw it is #but jesus christ #if i could afford therapy let alone medication maybe itd be easier to manage #gosh #slaps my diary #this is helpful tho. writing it out always helps #maybe I should think into using a journal but im afraid bc of the last time i had smth Physical #ill just stick to writing posts maybe

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wheresmulder · 2 years

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Time it took me to read

The eye of the world: 1 week

The great hunt: 1 week

The dragon reborn: 1 week

The shadow rising: lmao idk man

#so far 1 month and 11 days LMFAO #its not even BAD its just??????????#and allegedly the series gets worse so im like oh lord but i have 5 chapters left so i might finish tomorrow #wot #the shadow rising #this is actually one of my favorite books its just rly dragging ass for me rn #its also prob just me losing my grip on the hyperfixation #which im not mad at bc at least i wont be blowing through the whole series like i was afraid i would at first

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actual-corpse · 6 days

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Since I was determined to shower....

I kicked and screamed until the beast hud away.

And I continued to show force.

For I am bigger

And I am at the top of the food chain

#frogs #i really dont like how afraid i am #but i am very unwilling to do anything about it purposefully #i showered in the same room as one as I repeated my mantra #thay feels like progress #so #i have an interesting situation #where i have to toilet in a trash bag #and then i throw that bag into a bigger bag in a trash can #and then when its full. that bigger bag goes into a dumpster #except the dumpster is tall and i am weak #and the construction strength bags sometimes get holes #and the regular 13 gallon bags get holes #and stinky water leaks.... everywhere #and this bag of bags is heavy so i load it into my trunk #luckily the stinky water did not get onto the fabric and only on the plastic #and it ran down my bumper #and i had to find a way to wash it off because im sure sewage can be corrosive if left #so i somehow backed my boat car through the tiniest gap to get to a hose #what a day #at least i get to bird watch

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shatterthefragments · 22 days

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👀 or i could shower tomorrow morning

GOD I KNOW ITS BAD BUT JUST MY RESPONSE TO ANYTHING THAT ITS LIKE “oh you can’t do *insert thing (currently the action is: running)* in a mask” is YOU CAN IF YOU’RE NOT A PUSSY in my head which I’m. Trying to reword as “you can if you’re not a coward” and. Like. I have never said pussy aloud unless referring to pussy (a la Pussy Is God (King Princess)) and never in a derogatory way but also like. It just. It comes immediately into mind for that.

Anyway. Something something if the women’s hockey team can win in respirators you can deal with a little kn95 for like usually less than half an hour inside the grocery store.

#shatters’ fragments #if you’re that afraid of a little discomfort YET WILL ALSO COME AND HACKING COUGH ALL OVER ME AND THE FOOD IM PREPPING WITH NO COVERING I 🤬#customers stop touching me and spittling over the surfaces challenge #I have no idea what I’m on about #mum’s worried about the sister fainting on the run / I’m worried about the huge crowd that probably no one will mask at #but at least i guess I’ll see her Before and not after bc i will be absolutely destroyed if I get sick and can’t fly out to see my friend #…and also I’d be out over $1000 #…and that would also mean I’d miss sleep token. and my couple extra day vacation.#so i REALLY do NOT want to take extra risks before then #but I also have my tattoo coming up and then I may have my dentist appt.#but idk if i want to schedule it for after or not #esp because I can’t remember if this is the one I have to pay out of pocket or if I have any partial coverage for the year left or if #it could potentially be a new benefit year? idk #…and I probably have to pay a bit in taxes too…

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nomaishuttle · 9 months

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literally the pet rooms at work are the evillest not bc the pets are bsd at ALL theyve all been either well behaved or very timid and avoidant so its not like they get in the way. theyre bad bc my heart wants to just pet the kittys forever

#the other day enzo who is this very very sweet shihtzu was left in the room #usually he goes on a walk with his owner while im cleaning. yk. tbey walk to town #but that day rhey didnt go on a walk so enzo was in the room with me and he was very excited at first but then realized i couldnt play with #him and then he just sat by the door sadly Lol #hes a smart dog though i think he can tell when im working vs when im just hanging iut bc umm yesterday his owner had some stuff he needed #to tell me. and enzo was all over me jumping ip so i was just.petting him the entire time his owner was talking #theyre a very very sweet duo the guy is obsessed with his dog.. the guys name is angelo BTW. hes italian if you couldnt tell #but he like. writes poems for his dog and for his late wife and its all very very sweet. he loves enzo a lot :*?#it makes me so . like babyfever but for little doggy i literally want a dog so badly i Legitimately cannot get one right now but i want .#a little dog . i want one so bad #but. as i said i shant jntil i 1. am not Sleeping in a garage and 2. get my life under control #bc i can barely take care of myself atm and it just. yk. it wouldnt be responsible of me to get one #i prolly wont be ableAt least until i move out of this house #either back home or to a new place whos to say. not me i dont know i havent decided.#but yas. enzo is the onlyyy doggy i have in all my rooms.. i have a few cat rooms though #my favorite cat is probably willy hes such a sweetie. hes okd and so fat and he isnt afraid of me at all #<- sort of a detriment bc he loves to lay on the bed while im trying to strip it. and i have to slide my hand under the covers and pry him #up. and then he makes The saddest meow ever and gets up. hes so cute #most of the other cats i dont rly see a lot... rheres maybe 3? others aside from willy and 320's cat (i dont know her name bc she Refuses #to hold still long enough for me to read her collar lol)#but the others i dont know their names Aside from oliver who is 208's cat....

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arretoskore · 1 year

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.

#today on: curveballs i wasn't expecting #on of my staff's scout leaders called me to tell me last weekend one of our girls opened up to him #and confessed extremely worrying suicidal tendencies #and a lot of body image related issues #and apparently the main source of her depression is her parents behaviour that more or less explicitly make her feel like a failure #bc she's not excelling in everything always #and I'm honestly so tired of seeing middle schoolers who have to be accompanied by their friends from school to home #bc they their friends are actually afraid they will throw themselves under a tram otherwise if left alone #and of parents who dont understand that maybe commenting on your kids weight every fucking day is the fastest way #to make sure they collapse in the school toilet trying to throw up their lunch #sometimes i really wonder if some ppl want to have children just to own a person ???#idk #im tired

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fuxuannie · 1 year

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Hi sage!! I hope you're doing well<33 do you mind doing jealousy headcanons for dan heng, jing yuan and any other characters you chose?? Thank you 🤍🤍 you're keeping the hsr x reader tag alive 😭

* pairing(s) : various hsr men (4, again) x gender neutral reader

* prompt : jealousy bites like you like a poisonous snake, the bite hurts, but its the venom that gets you.

* authors note : hi anon !!! (๑´ㅂ`๑) thank you for requesting, you're so sweet for the last msg omg tysm <3 i hope u enjoy !

* brief warning : blade kills a man, very blade of him. (his is also more of a joke im sorry blade lovers) ALSO THIS PROGRESSIVELY GETS SHORTER EACH CHARACTER, I JUST REALLY LIKE DAN HENG IM SORRY LMAO.

DAN HENG can't hide the way his eye twitches, how tightly he grips onto his spear or the way he'd mutter things under his breath. He despises it when he's jealous, but he hates it more when he sees the reason for doing so.

He knows he's.. not exactly like all your previous partners, it stemmed an insecurity in him. He wasn't all too funny, and knew he couldn't make you laugh with a corny joke.

So the way Sampo keeps making you laugh, making you smile, it was sparking a jealous flame in his heart. But more than anything, it saddened him that he couldn't make you laugh like that.

God, your smile was so pretty.

After a while, he interlocks his fingers with yours and mutters a small 'Can we go?' to you. You immediately notice his saddened tone, and thank Sampo for his time before walking home with your boyfriend.

"Dan Heng?" You say softly, noticing his rather saddened mood. He lets out a small hum to acknowledge your call for him, and you sigh. "Are you upset?"

He nods his head.

"Is it.. because of Sampo?"

He hesitates, but that alone gives you an answer.

Dan Heng takes a deep breath, before looking at you, his eyes filled with honesty. "I was.. jealous. I know I can't make you laugh the way he does, and it frustrates me. I want to be a man who makes you smile everyday but-"

Amidst his rant, he sees how your gaze softened at his words. This entire time, he was insecure? He hid it well, so well, at the very least from you. "I'm sorry, this is stupid-"

"N-no! It's not, I should be apologizing if anything! I failed to realize these things.. I'm sorry, my love. Sampo.. he makes me laugh, but you make my heart flutter. You make me feel things no one else can, okay? I'm yours, as you are mine."

He smiles at you, he's just happy he communicated his feelings, and you understood. "I'll be sure to try and tell you how I feel next time, okay? As long as you promise you'll stop hanging out with him. I was honestly afraid I was gonna have to get rid of him."

You blinked a few times, but he sighs. "I'm kiddinngg.."

JING YUAN knows he's far too good of a man, therefore doesn't get jealous.

He's yet to be disproven in the first part, but his golden eyes are filled with annoyance as the stares of a certain enemy of his lingers far too long on you.

You were filling in for Yanqing, he was absent for the day (something about falling into an ice cold river and getting sick or something...) and so someone needed to be there as the General would be meeting Blade.

And Jing Yuan couldn't ignore how Blade's eyes never left your form while he spoke, hanging your head down low and so you wouldn't notice. That made him greatly annoyed, almost unable to focus, but he had a mission at hand. And so he forced his jealousy to subside.

Needless to say, the small marks on your neck was embarassing to have seen in public. (And the small bird constantly pecking at Blade's hair was definitely also not Jing Yuans doing.)

GEPARD is so understanding, he evaluates every situation with logical thinking, as expected as a leader.

So it wasn't hard to figure out the intentions of the 'friend' that was speaking to you, how their voice was almost sweeter, and the way they clinged onto your arm was signalling red flags.

Gepard wouldn't have minded this, it could've easily been friendly gestures, but Serval is one of your closest friends and you were within a friendgroup. And she knows that person has a crush on you, and it was painfully obvious.

So naturally, he swiftly and surpisingly gently pulls you from the waist out of their grasp especially with how firm his grip around you was. He gives them a not so friendly glare, and plants a soft kiss to your lips. "My partner." He states, pulling you close as you're left to be stunned with the sudden posessiveness of your partner. "Mine."

Blade simply stares down at the person even attempting to approach you with clearly bad intentions. And if they dare to try to push their luck, Blade comes home with blood on his hands.

"What did you do??" You'd ask, you already knew the answer after already learning what Blade was truly like. "What was necessary." He replied, a kiss on your cheek as he walks in through the door to wash his hands.

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