#im really not doing good academically and mentally | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hjemne · 12 days

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Long rant. If my housemate turns up strangled then you're not allowed to use this in court against me or whatever. My genuine opinion is that this guy needs amphetamines and financial hardship, and he's not going to bother getting better without that

Housemate has 6 exams to pass, then one more year of university. Housemate has taken 2 years out already. Housemate goes to Very Prestigious University who very rarely lets people take 2 years out to begin with.

Housemate moves in mid-April. Literally does not leave the house for over a month. Lives off deliveroo. Does negative amounts of housework. Comes out to shower twice a day for 30+ mins with boiling hot water. Otherwise is in his room 23/7. Turned down all offers to socialise 'until after exams' starting two months before exams.

Housemate does not go to revision classes. Housemate does not go to lectures. Housemate does not do anything.

Day before first exam, housemate realises he misread his exam timetable. He has not prepared for the exam the next day. This is somehow not his fault. Housemate decides to take a third year out. Housemate misses the first exam. Housemate's father flies across the world to support him.

Housemate schedules a meeting to discuss taking a third year out. The meeting is at the same time as his second exam. Housemate misses his second exam. Very Prestigious University decides he cannot take a third year out. Housemate thinks this is unfair, because one person in the past was allowed to take three years out. Housemate does not appreciate how exceptional it is to be allowed to take even two years out. Very Prestigious University gives him a very generous compromise of averaging his mark for the final four exams, ignoring the two he missed. Housemate does not appreciate how exceptional this offer is.

Housemate has 6 days between the meeting and his first (third) exam. Housemates sister flies across the world to support him. Housemate decides the day before his first (third) exam that he is dropping out. Housemate immediately gives up at the second first sign of trouble. Housemate wants to change to a different course but stay at the Very Prestigious University. Housemate is fucking deluded about his reality.

Meanwhile, I have sat 6 exams in 8 days at the same Very Prestigious University, representing over 60% of my final grade for my entire 4 year degree.

Housemate has ADHD and depression. I have ADHD and depression. Housemate faced close family bereavement last year. I faced close family bereavement two months ago. Housemate is sad because 5 years ago he was 'falsely accused of rape' and lost friends. I was raped by my domestic partner last year and could only start processing it a few months ago when my housing no longer depended on staying with my rapist. Housemate thinks he has suffered more than Jesus on the cross and so should get special exemptions to university rules (he also thinks he should get his third year off because he misread the single paragraph rule around taking time off). Housemate doesn't seem to consider that other people also have things going on in their lives, but which they have to push through and deal with by actively engaging in the support available instead of months-long self-imposed isolation. Housemate told the university staff who have been helping him that it's the university's problem if so many people are struggling. Which may be true but is a bold fucking move from the guy who has done nothing for multiple years and then expects the university staff to bail him out last minute and do what he wants them to do.

Housemate is also a terrible housemate. Housemate continues to misgender NB housemate. Housemate owes NB housemate hundreds in unpaid bills that he forgets about. Housemate got me alone in his room at 2am and tried to kiss me despite me giving zero indication that I in any way wanted that. Housemate does not do the very very simplest of household tasks despite multiple verbal, texted and printed reminders. Housemate leaves blood (from acne) in the bathroom for others to clean up. Housemate is so goddamn useless and willfully, deliberately ignorant that he doesn't bother trying to unload the dishwasher "because he doesn't know where plates go" my brother in Christ you have spent four months in this house and it is a tiny fucking house!!!!!!! Use your eyeballs you obtuse motherfucker!!!! do you not have a shred of curiosity or independence?? Is there truly nothing going on upstairs?? It's not even that he needs everything spelled out for him, because no matter how many reminders he gets, he still doesn't do it. He needs everything done for him. He doesn't even get his groceries from the shop 5 mins away bc he gets everything delivered. He is 23. He has actively and deliberately cut himself off from others, and then moans about not having a 'proper university experience'. He genuinely seems to believe in his own self-importance, genuinely seems to believe that rules should bend around whatever he wants to happen. He thinks he's the world's specialest and most persecuted little guy when he's really just an incompetent man who cannot function without being coddled by mummy or without being bankrolled by daddy, who is driving himself further into his mental health spiral by refusing to face up to responsibility or reality or consequences. And he can afford to do this because his family are extremely wealthy, so he can always find an escape from doing anything even slightly hard. Because family money gives him the ability to do nothing at all! And so he wont! Because he's not even attempting to manage his ADHD, and so he will always procrastinate until the last minute, then use his money to wiggle out of it anyway. It's destroying him!! And he's destroying my sanity!

I'm going to start tearing him limb from limb with my teeth.

Only positive is that I now look incredible in comparison. Doesn't matter what grade I graduate with, because I at least will graduate

#you need a proper reason to take a year out and it has to be signed off by a third party (eg doctor recommendation) and the university #it's fairly straightforward to take a single year out but if you want to take more than one then you need a REALLY good reason #like you took the first year off for mental health reasons but then you get hit by a bus and need extensive surgeries #then theyd give you a second year off #a third is so so so so so rare like i think you basically need a long long succession of family + medical + financial catastrophes #also they literally had to write an entire set of exams for him and him alone bc they changed the exam format for the year after him #and hes the only guy on his course to be 2 years behind (i presume)#like yeah dude no shit the academic office wasnt falling over themselves to help you #you're causing them so much work and demonstrably doing absolutely nothing in return #you should be grovelling for forgiveness over missing exams not blaming them for student mental health #(which the university should absolutely do more for and is absolutely responsible for creating incredibly mentally damanging environments)#goddamnit im angry #because hes just not trying #because he doesn't have to try because he can use his money to avoid working #rambles #cw sa mention

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hella1975 · 1 year

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i had THREE fucked up dreams last night like usually i have one really crazy one with a couple less crazy ones jotted about for balance but no last night my brain went 'i have written three psychological horrors which one shall we do first'. so starting from least to worst, i had a dream i got kidnapped which yeah is a pretty common dream but was mostly jarring bc between the ages of 12-16 i had dreams like this SO OFTEN that it was practically its own cinematic universe like i had one recurring dream that was so long it went on for hours bc there was just that much plot and it was ALWAYS that animal fear of being hunted and caught and having no way out. i did escape this one tho bc i jumped out of the van <3 the second dream is kinda vague and definitely inspired by how rin wasn't allowed into combat training in the poppy war like what an odd detail for my brain to latch onto but it rlly went 'poppy war meets economics degree'. for some reason people weren't letting me into my classes and i was like begging and shouting saying i couldnt do the degree and i was going to fail if they didnt help me and i COULDNT fail bc there werent any other options for me but no one would do anything so i had a bath??? normal thought process but im p sure it led into the final and worst dream bc in that one i was choking (potentially drowning) and this girl was like 'omg we need to do CPR!' but it wasn't working and you know how some patients who had CPR done to them get like. broken ribs and shit from the force of it? well i remember thinking like 'this bitch is hurting me' and then out of NOWHERE (tw body horror ig?) she pulls out a fucking hammer like one of those really thick hammers and she goes 'this is gonna hurt but i have to save you' and i was like FURIOUSLY shaking my head at her but she slammed the hammer down on my chest and yes on the one hand i spat out all the water but also... when i tell you i could FEEL my sternum shatter and all the bones press into me and this really hot sensation of blood seeping out INSIDE my chest and i woke up GASPING and clutching my sternum it was so fucked up i hate my brain

#good morning!! <333 #i slept so well *eye twitch*#exams really do the most on my mental health i wish i could deal with academic stress like a normal person #like my sternum STILL stings bc ive convinced myself now that im injured #nightmares always shake me up bc i rarely get them but when i do they're always so vivid and psychological like this #i cant hack it babes #hella goes home

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solar-poweredcalculator · 4 months

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My life is falling apart :^

#i mean it really is not but the academics (school) are getting harder because our professors arent doing remakes (?) of the tests #they would do that for the students that fail so that they get another chance but now they quit that #and it was quite literally what saved maths for me #also with my quinceaños and my mom wanting everything to be secret and me not understanding who can know and who cant #that makes it mentally heavy to even talk about the subject with other people because i already told my cousin about the theme #and i think my mom is mad because of that #but she knows im not good with social things so idk why she was so surprised about that #AND ALSO MY DAD COMING HOME AFTER WORKING ON A CROUISE #thats exciting #but every time my mom talks about him its just negative things #and every time theres any flaw or thing thats not exactly good about me she always says that i got it from my dad #so thats very :/#and also shes cheating on him and i just have to. live with that.#but it still makes me mad yk #at least i have friends #thats good :]#but still everything else is just :'/ for me #but im getting my dream physique #step by step but im getting there #so thats good! i guess!#everything else is a mess tho #but anyways! i dont know what to do!#rant post #rant in tags #personal #i guess #ill just distract and overfocus on media for the rest of my life if shit keeps being like this

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tiredeyes1975 · 1 year

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ive been so stressed about college recently ….

#and by recently i mean like Always #like i have absolutely no clue about anything in my life #i THOUGHT i did for a while. i thought i was gonna do something math related #but ive thought about different prospective majors/fields every year. or tbh every few months #the thing is im academically ‘smart’ which just means ive consistenly had good grades for a long time but i dont feel like im particularly #skilled at any subject. and i dont really have any passions that i want to pursue #my family already knows im not interested in law or medicine. but i dont want to disappoint them #and i dont want to be selfish and pick a major that im interested in but wont be helpful in the long run #because i want to be able to support my family #and i think that my family thinks i could handle stuff like law or med because of my grades #but i dont think i can handle anything like that #they sound really serious. and i genuinely dont think im mentally stable enough for that #i dont know want to do something ill end up hating but i dont want my family to hate me or call me spoiled or something :/#and dont even get me started on thinking about. how much it’ll cost #also for context my family is filipino and i think they all did something in stem #what if im actually just lazy. and im making a big deal out of nothing.

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queenofcoquette · 7 months

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studying like rory gilmore

introduction:

not gonna lie, im not the biggest fan of gilmore girls, and while i do admire rory's studying habits i rlly don't like her as a character. but anyways, ik that in this space she's kinda an icon, and her academic habits are inspirational, so here are some tips on how to study like her, and some academic mistakes that you should avoid :)

things to do:

creating a study routine. have a go-to place that's not distracting, put away anything that can distract you and get to work. it's good to have a routine that you're consistent to. like spending 15 minutes after school reviewing what you learned.

take organized notes. highlight key terms and make sure that your notes are neat and make sense.

study with flashcards. rory uses flashcards to study which is a great method. you can do this on paper or use digital flashcards :)

always have a book to read. rory always has a book to read, and it's always good to have something prouctive to do after you finish your work early in class. i have a block schedule so classes take forever, and when i have nothing to do i like to read.

join extracurriculars. although i think it took rory a whole season to do this (not sure) make sure you join clubs! joining clubs and having leadership roles within them looks really good to colleges when you're applying and also just helps you make new friends.

if your stuck studying on one subject then go to another. rory talks about doing this in an episode and although it doesn't sound productive it is! if you're really stuck and frustrated while studying for one class, then go and do work for another on and then come back to what's making you frustrated.

things to avoid:

not being able to handle criticism. in the show rory is pretty bad at taking criticism or dealing with getting bad grades. she kinda views it as some sort of attack on her intelligence which is a horrible mentality to have. when you get bad grades learn from it, and learn from constructive criticism as well. i know it sucks when you do bad but ultimately that's how you learn what to do better.

conclusion:

you don't need to be like anyone else and just follow a routine that suits YOU! it's great to take inspiration from other people and from characters, but ultimately, just do what makes you feel the happiest and what makes you the most succesful.

#that girl #that girl 2023 #rory gilmore #gilmore girls #study motivation #high school #self improvement #pink pilates princess #queenofcoquette #it girl #healthy habits #glow up #school advice

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valentine-writes · 7 months

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Can you do enemies to lovers with 1016 Miles?? :3

[ this will be my last req for this account, moving to my new blog officially once this one is up! catch me on @l0vem41l <3 reqs will be open there when i'm ready ＞︿＜ ]

overachiever

「 tws + notes: no tws, unedited, burnout, reader also attends visions academy, reader is trying so so hard to not be mean and fails (im so sorry), one-sided academic rivalry, author doesn't know how american schools work (i am so so sorry), comfort (?) 」

「 gn!reader, can be platonic or romantic <3」

↳ ft. miles morales (1610)

author's note: YES I CAN!!! however,, i put a lil twist on the prompt given and made it academic rivalry (i genuinely cant find a viable reason to beef w/ miles i am so sorry (-﹏-；) !!) anyways! hope this works with you!!! soz itz so short!!! :[[

"wow," your friend's eyes light up, scanning over your test results, "...you've gotta be like, the smartest person i know."

you laugh politely, smiling at them as they hand your paper back. "no, it's really not that big of a deal–"

"what do you mean 'not that big of a deal?! dude, you got 100% on a test most people failed." your friend shoves their paper in your face as evidence– a 57% in red on theirs. "that's like... the highest grade achievable. probably the highest in cla–"

"THIS GUY GOT A 101%!"

everyone turns to the voice– the loud kid who sat behind miles eyeing his test.

you blinked in disbelief. you didn't even know getting extra credit was possible on this one.

miles looked up at the faces of his staring peers faces filled with disbelief and slight annoyance, and fumbled to set his test face down on his desk. he flashed an awkward grin "uh... yeah?"

▸ you liked miles. he was friendly. sweet. genuine. you couldn't hate him if you wanted to. no, you didn't feel hate towards him. it was just... jealousy. simple, petty, burning jealousy.

▸ visions academy was something you had to work your ass off for, constantly studying just to stay on the level of the students who attended. NERDS. all of them were nerds. but you were attending this school too sooo,,,

and then there was miles. someone who barely even had to try to get the highest grades. he had you seething.

▸ the most humiliating part was the fact that he had little to no interest in competing with you at all. the few times you had spoken were awkward and curt on your end, and yes– it felt awful being so mean for something as small as personal resentment.

▸ nothing justified your one word responses or the accidental snark that would slip into those few words. you mentally kicked yourself for the times you watched his grin falter because of something you said, miles awkwardly trying to laugh off whatever cold remark you just shot at him.

he'd walk away, dejected, and you'd stand there for a moment– frozen as you fought the urge to run up to him and try to explain yourself or beg for forgiveness. it didn't make sense to at this point. maybe he'd just accept this was the way you were– the way things would be between you two.

▸ so yes, perhaps in your pursuit of favouring school over every other aspect of your life, your social skills were left rotting and underdeveloped. but you knew, deep down, it wasn't just you being awkward.

being around him made you feel small. talking to someone, radiating the aura of someone with a promise-filled future made you look completely directionless and clueless in comparison. the effort you put into your academics was almost repulsive to think about when miles could take a test with a blindfold on and probably still score 90s.

maybe it was the deep set fear that you'd never amount to anything if you didn't burn yourself out trying. all of a sudden, the academic validation of being good wasn't enough. not when you were one of the best once.

▸ you spent an absurd amount of time trying to avoid him, deliberately moving to the furthest corners of the library so he wouldn't see you there struggling to wrap your head around whatever you were being taught in physics.

heavens above forbid that he walk up to you, greeting you with that sunny smile and cheerful voice that could make anyone falter. you may have been jealous of him– but oh, how you hated that feeling that way when he nothing but well-meaning.

the last sip of your coffee– long cooled by now thanks thermodynamics– did nothing to make you feel less dead. you had lost track of the time you had spent practically decomposing in this library, studying for an upcoming physics test that had you reeling just by the mere thought of it.

you sighed, staring at the papers strewn on the desk. your hands fidgeted with the pencil in your hand, it's eraser and tip rendered flat and useless by now, as you tried to muster the energy to gather your things to leave. it was much too late. the library would be closed soon and you'd be forced to go back home to study at your own desk in your bedroom.

this was routine. go to school, study in the library until it gets dark, and go home to study more– the next day, you'd find yourself still awake and studying or with a headache, your cheek pressed to the desk, and drool on your notebook. yeah. your bed hasn't been used in a solid while. and science homework isn't exactly the comfiest pillow. but this is what you were used to.

standing up, you stretched out a bit– and immediately froze as a familiar voice called your name. you paused, reluctantly turning to the source of the voice.

"...god, morales–" you huffed, "you nearly scared me half to death."

this is the friendliest you've been towards him in a while, he notices, as you flash him a tiny, crooked smile on your tired face. all potential malice you could have held had been beaten out by your absolute lack of energy.

he approaches you and looks at your desk, considering what to say to fill the silent air. he places a hand on your shoulder, you stiffen–

"hey." miles flashes a grin, not his signature smile but,, somewhat of a forced smolder.

you stare and resist the urge to cringe, wondering if you were sleep deprived to the point of hallucinations. you gently brush his hand off your shoulder.

"...hi?" you respond, unsure of what to do.

miles is snapped out of whatever stupid trance he was in by your voice.

"oh– uh– yeah, hey," he repeats your name again, trying to recover from whatever that was, "is– is everything okay?"

"i could ask you the same thing."

he lets out a little chuckle. "you know what i mean. all... this." miles' hand gestures vaguely to your desk and current state of complete entropy. "how long have you been here?"

you avert your gaze, shame burning in your face. "i... don't know?"

a pause.

miles places a hand on your back this time, in an attempt of friendly comfort. geez, are they keeping you locked in here?" he quips, earning half of a dry laugh from you. "c'mon. you should probably get home and rest by now."

"but–" your lips part in protest, looking back up at him to argue– but he just looks back, concern filled in his dark doe-like eyes. all possibilities of fighting him on this were out the window.

"you need it." he insists, a gentle smile forming on his face. much better than the weird smoulder from earlier, you think. "i'll even walk you there."

before you can speak up, he moves away from you, beginning to help you gather up your things to pack up. you mumble a silent thank you to him, which he accepts happily with a nod.

as he hands over the papers, his eyes scan them. "oh! physics? i love physics."

"no shit, morales." you scoff, snatching up the papers from him and stuffing them in your bag. "it sure seems to love you."

yet again, you've managed to mess things up. you bite the inside of your cheek before you can say anything worse. a sigh escapes your lips, as you decide to at least try and save the interaction.

"look... i'm really sorry. it's been a rough day, i've been struggling to get the concepts down, i'm falling behind and feeling stupid as hell right now, and– to make everything worse, the fucking test is just stressing me out and i just– i just..." you trail off from your ramblings, a sob getting caught in your throat as your shaky hands grip your backpack.

"woah, woah, hey– it's okay."

he slowly puts an arm around your shoulder, careful not to startle you or make you uncomfortable. you don't even realize how you lean into him. "let's just get you home. you've done your best, yeah?"

you nod. he offers you a little smile.

"exactly. and that's enough. okay? you're doing more than you can handle right now." there's a few more shared words as he reassures you.

part of him wonders how long this had been going on– how long you had been working yourself until you broke– mainly because that test that was stressing you out was more than a week away. yeah. he'd need to convince you to watch after yourself more often.

"and now a silly one!!!" (more lighthearted hcs below for the aftermath of this becuz goodness me.)

▸ things definitely ease up around miles. if he can't convince you to step away from your work, he's chosen to be able to regulate it.

studying with him in a local cafe is now a frequent thing you two do together. miles always gives you time to work, but will then ever so subtly lure you into moving on from your work to hang out with him normally. and it works. every single time. you might start in the library or cafe, but where you'll be later? always a mystery.

whether it's a walk in the park, going back to his place to chat, or finding some random activity to do, you find yourself bonding with him more and more. your jealousy begins to fade, finding a friend in him instead of someone you have to one up.

▸ you both spontaneously decided to see a new horror movie once and accidentally got miles in trouble with his parents for coming home after curfew. and he'd 100% do it again in a heartbeat if you asked.

▸ no matter what you get on that next test, miles is going to congratulate you like it's the best he's ever seen. he's overjoyed to share your achievements, to celebrate them like no one in your life ever has.

miles holds up his test as you tell him your grade. "you got a 92? hey look– me too!"

a snarky voice speaks up, "well, i got a 98% so–"

"no one was talking to you." miles retorts.

you press a hand to your mouth and look away, trying to stifle laughter. was he always this sassy or did you just end up rubbing off on him?

▸ you both end up being extra studious for the next test (breaks included this time) and he's sure to be extra loud about congratulating you for your perfect 100%

maybe the sass wasn't all you,,, but the minor pettiness definitely is your influence. it's actually not. miles is pretty easygoing,, but man did he not like when that random ass kid gave you attitude.

you smile at miles, ensuring to do the same for him if not, a little louder

"what? 'm complimenting you." you tilt your head at miles' stunned expression.

for a moment, he stumbles over his words. "i know– you just– i didn't expect that from you, so–"

you laugh. "what? you want me to go back to being mean or something?"

miles laughs too. it's hard not to stare at the way he lights up a room like this.

▸ things feel lighter now. you've made social progress with others, you have a life beyond just school– and you have miles. part of you wonders if you'll ever be able to tell him just how much he means to you and how you wish you could've just been his friend from the start.

sometimes, in the corner of his eye, he catches your wistful stare. and though he doesn't utter a single word, you start to feel that he cherishes you just as much.

#WOOOOOO #and we are MOVING!!#unedited as balls im so sorry #i like miles. i did have to rewatch clips cuz i STILL CANT GET SPEECH PATTERNS RIGHT.#i will one day. trust #atsv headcanons #atsv x reader #across the spider verse spoilers #spiderman: across the spiderverse #atsv #miles morales #miles morales x reader #miles morales headcanons #miles morales x y/n #miles morales x you #many tags #academic rivals but it's a conflict with no teeth

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le-92vi · 4 months

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It's You and Me (Part 1)

Geto Suguru x Reader

Genres/Warnings: nothing really, reader is Suguru's junior. fem!reader, academic weapon!reader (bc i'm not^^) hs!geto. Mostly fluff and banter. Not proofread.

Word Count: 1.5k

Notes: hello again! I'm still unsure if i should make a whole series out of this or just drabbles, or maybe... nothing more, even though i kinda have a story line in mind. Please let me know if you liked this one and would like more parts to this fic. im also sorry for not making regular updates. (Reviews, critics anything<3) I hope you like and enjoy this one!!<33

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"Yeah, Mom, I'm getting off from school. Just text me whatever you need." You end the call with your mother.

Maki, who stood a couple of lockers away from you and happened to be listening to the conversation, cocked her eyebrow at you. "More housewarming parties?"

You chuckled at how well she knew your mom as you gathered your belongings from your locker and shoved them in your backpack. "I guess. She loves being a good host. Would you mind a little detour to the market?"

"Not at all." She closes your locker for you. "We can get the décor stuff for the presentation too."

"Nice!"

***

"Mom," you called out as you and Maki hauled all the groceries to the kitchen counters.

"In here," she called out from the living room.

"Maybe the guests are over already," Maki shrugged.

"But we just got here with the food? Aren't they supposed to be here for dinner?" You asked sheepishly.

Maki gave you a sarcastic upturned smile. "How am I supposed to know that?"

"You're back! And Maki's here too!" Your mom appeared from the hallways, greeting Maki with a hug the first thing.

It didn't even faze you at this point just how smitten your mom had become with her. And it was endearing too, not that you'd ever admit it out loud.

You clear your throat to get your mom's attention, "Excuse me, you two..." only to earn laughs from both of them.

"You're such a silly girl." She took the other bag from your hand, plopping it on the counter. "Anyways, you should go greet our new neighbors. You too, Maki. They have a son around you guys' age. Take him upstairs with you. Poor kid's bored out of his mind sitting there."

Immediately, Maki's eyes met with yours as you shrugged.

"Go on, now." Your mom motioned towards the door as the two of you made a beeline outside.

"New neighbor, huh? Finally, some action in your life, Miss Prude." Maki nudged you, fake-wiping a tear from her eye. "Guess you won't need me around anymore."

"God, Maki! You're so overdramatic," was all you could manage to say, as all your words died in your mouth.

THIS HAD TO BE SOME SICK JOKE.

Suguru Geto. The smartest and most popular guy in your senior school. The Suguru Geto was hunched over the love seat in your living room, visibly bored out of his mind.

You decided that it was for the best for you to ignore his presence in the room for the time being and greet his parents first. You bowed in greeting as you wished them, and so did Maki. That seemed to have grabbed Suguru's attention: "Hey, I've seen you guys in school. I think..." His voice trailed out as he tried to remember where he'd seen you from.

His eyes fixed on both you and Maki, hoping that your presence would gratify his curiosity.

Maki did, as you mentally facepalmed yourself for going blank. Briefly introducing the both of you, she elbowed you in the side to join in on the conversation. But you didn't know what to say, especially to him.

"I have a lot of books. Do you want to check them out?" you blurted. He liked to read, right? You've seen him practically living in the school library. You were supposed to hang out with him after all, right?

"Sure," he says, seeing it as his only chance to escape from the room of boring adult talks, as he follows you and Maki to your room. It was almost as if your body had gone into auto-pilot mode; you were moving without having to think—or rather, your brain was clouded with Suguru's presence, and you couldn't think.

All of it felt wrong. He wasn't supposed to be in your home, let alone your room. And, even though Maki was there too, it didn't help the blaring alarms going off in your brain.

"This is it," your hand gestured at the book shelf filled with books, top to bottom.

Suguru let out a small chuckle. "I think we have very different ideas of 'a lot of books'." He plopped down on your study chair, while Maki snickered and made herself comfortable on your bed.

"What do you mean?" You sat beside Maki, turning your head from her to Suguru, trying to find out the object of their amusement. "What is it?" You looked at her sheepishly.

Maki turns your head towards her, squishing your face in her palms with a look of jest and something motherly. "He likes reading novels, not text books, honey."

"Oh!" you exclaimed, feeling very stupid. How were you supposed to know that he liked fiction? It's not like you ever crept up on him to get a peek at his paperback. "I'm sure I can find some novels for you too! You could've just said so." You sprung up from your place and walked towards your book shelf to find one. You were determined to find a book for him now.

"What genre do you like?" You said, knowing full well you might not even have something close to it.

"Nevermind. I don't feel like reading in the first place; I just wanted to get away from the parents. No offense." He swung around in your chair. "What else have you got?"

And something in your brain shifted. He looked so comfortable in your house. It was astonishing. Truly. While you racked your brain trying to adjust to his presence, he looked like he had always belonged there, swinging so freely in your chair. As if you had known each other for a very long time.

For a moment, you forgot about Maki's presence, drowning in his beauty. His eyes, lips. his hair, falling perfectly into place. His voice. It was like he was hand-sculpted with so much care. Until you were brought back to your reality by an elbow to your side. "You should give that a rest unless you want to puncture a hole in me," you pouted at her, rubbing your side to ease the pain.

She, in turn, snickered at you, "What are you so lost in thought about?"

Suguru Geto!

Wasn't it obvious? But, you were kinda thankful that neither of them noticed. "Dinner should be ready by now, right? I'm starving!" You exclaimed, trying to change the topic as fast as you could, dragging Maki by her hand and cocking your head at Suguru, "Let's go."

"You can't just ignore my question like that, you-" her words were cut short by your hand on her ringing phone, "Someone's calling," You swung it near her face in haste.

"Just you and your luck." She whispered to you and gave you her signature scowl before answering her phone.

"I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!" You tried making small talk while Maki was busy on the phone, trying your best to not have Suguru notice your tiny, little crush on him. That had to be why you had been acting so strange since you got home, completely zoned out and clueless.

"Bad news, I gotta go" She stuffed her phone back in her jeans.

"No! Why?" You frowned. "Dinner's just ready."

"I know, but I think it's urgent." She rushed back upstairs to grab her bag. "I'll have to call a rain check on the project today, sorry."

"Don't worry about the project. Is everything okay?" You call after her, but she'd already disappeared out of your sight, "I'll ask Mom to pack her some food."

You rush to your mom to explain everything to her, while she packs Maki's portion of the dinner for her. "It's going to get cold by the time she'll eat it" She sighed.

"Go safely!" You hand Maki her dinner, seeing her off like a military wife. "I wish you could stay longer."

"Who's being dramatic now, huh?" She shook her head with laughter at your antics.

You were just glad you could make her laugh. "I'll call you later!" You called after her as you watched her leave, to which she turned around to wave at you.

***

Soon enough dinner was over too and the guests were beginning to leave.

You were now much more comfortable in Suguru's presence. More than you'd like to admit. And, you didn't completely hate the thought of it. He could be a good guy, after all.

You wondered how the rest of your school year would be, now that you'd practically befriended the School's ace, the most sought after guy, as you and your family walked the Geto's to the driveway.

While the parents bid good nights to each other, Suguru quietly popped up beside you, "I'm looking forward to seeing you more often, neighbor." Before running ahead to catch up with his parents, turning back slightly to get a final glimpse of you.

It's going to be a long year.

Tags: @mandysfanfics

#suguru geto x reader #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jjk x you #jjk imagines #jjk x reader #getou suguru x reader #jujutsu geto #geto x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk geto #geto suguru #jujutsu kaisen shoko

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botanyshitposts · 1 year

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just wanted to say that some months ago i went on a bit of a "mental illness tangent" and wrote down every single native species to my county, including its light and water needs. may or may not have been spurred on by some topic you mentioned...

one side effect i learned with that is that apparently i live in like. the ONE area of the us that doesn't really use fire much as a part of it's ecosystem, once you're inland beyond the pine barrens on the coast, obvs. kinda funny idk. like you have a whole continent that has large fire use in varying ways, and then in little old new england in the old mountains where apparently fire has not been present in 8000 years from research from sediments.

hi! just want you to know that this is both academic and political direct action in my mind and i think every community should have at least one person who knows what local Guys are supposed to be there and what they need.

next step would be to go see which ones you can actually find in remnant forests and stuff. if any dudes are missing it's an active cause for concern and you can start the process of finding Whoever In Local Government Is In Charge Of That, and you would be surprised to know that usually there is at least one person who's like, kind of supposed to be in charge of it but nobody pays attention to plants so it slipped under the radar, etc. or if you want to do more research first or want to know where to look you can go try to see when it was last actually spotted, because from my experience a lot of old sources from like, 1802 just get grandfathered in to modern records and you realize nobody's actually checked to see if these things are still there lately.

to check your own work against, plants.usda.gov has an online database that in theory is an up-to-date record of all plants in every state in the country-- notice that i say every state, because not all states specify sightings or populations by county, which is unhelpful for actually going out and seeing them near you. on a state-by-state basis, some states have their own databases which narrow it down to county, and then from there you can see which sources they cite and check to see how old they are. note that the usda cites the flora of north america as their primary source for the species ive personally come across, which is good because the flora of north america is crowd-funded, organized, written, and published by actual academics in the botanical community who go searching for these things and they have names and email addresses you can use to contact them, plus the completed families are free to access online on their website. because of the amount of people retiring with no replacement, however, it's still good to follow up.

im...nebulous on my understanding of who is supposed to be checking up on these guys in the government. either the USDA or the fish and wildlife service is the arm that's supposed to be regulating plants listed as endangered in your area, or at least enforcing poaching laws, and if it's something high profile they probably do, but then you look at the endangered species list in your state and see a guy you know hasn't been seen in quite some time and you have to wonder where they're getting their data, if they're doing their own internal surveys, if you can even access that kind of information because of the need to be careful around disclosing the locations of endangered plants, if this local Guy has actually genuinely slipped through the cracks of bureaucracy and has lost whatever fractionally small area of land it used to have in your county/surrounding county/state, if anybody is even paying attention, etc. it seems like your best bet comes down to contacting the one other person whos super into them

and then you go on inaturalist to see if anyone else has seen it and nobody has and anyway thats how you go insane

#asks

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kipperlillyforpresident · 10 days

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Legally you are required to tell me your thoughts on oisin/kipperlilly and lucy/ivy

OKAY SO. oisin x kipperlilly is a really funny story, actually.

i've been rotating around different ship ideas with @ivyembracertifiedbitch , and we landed on thinking that buddy x ivy is really fun. in that ivy is constantly ""tempting him into sin"" (literally just like. Kissing Him.) and the idea that well, buddy doesnt kill people, Helio kills people and sometimes acts through buddy. and if buddy doesnt do anything and just lets ivy kiss him then he's not really doing anything it's just happening To him. and so its acceptable.

and then we were talking about oisin making fun of ivy for this. and i said ivy might say "well, at least IM kissing MY uptight blond, unlike you lmao".

and when i said this, i was meaning adaine. but he replied "oh do you want to share your kipperlilly x oisin thoughts?" and i was like... well i didnt mean that. but now let me Cook.

Basically, here's my main thoughts:

We canonically know that Kipperlilly had a strong instinct to 'protect Oisin', as seen in the Aelwyn convo.

Oisin is the only other Rat Grinder we see actively Enacting plots - teleportation at last stand, pingponggate, etc.

Although Kipperlilly definitely WANTS to be the leader, there's a good case to be made that Oisin is the one who is actually SEEN as the leader among TRG - he's the one who helped get the name changed, after all.

We know that Oisin's type is 'academic blond girl who has 100 mental illnesses.'

So I think this combination of facts can be used in some very fun ways!

Kipperlilly, who hates that Oisin is doing so much better then her, getting to lead the adventuring party, who has a stupid fucking Special Backstory with his grandma. And yet. And yet.

She sees first hand how hard he works, and she has to respect that. It makes her want to work even harder. Nobody else seems to be taking this seriously, but Oisin IS.

An alternative and funny scenario is the idea of them fake dating to try and make Lucy/Kristen/Ivy/Whoever you please as a crush for Kipperlilly & Adaine jealous. And then it just works out a little too well...?

Ivy x Lucy I don't have as much of an insane ramble for. But it's mainly built on these things:

Ivy was the one who saw Fake Lucy at the party. That feels like symbols and motifs, right...? Ivy seeing Fig's disguise and immediately knowing it's not Lucy. She would know.

I want Lucy to be weirder and not Dead Wife Montage and i think dating a mean girl would be an excellent way to achieve this.

#kipperlilly copperkettle #oisin hakinvar #ivy embra #lucy frostblade #hakinkettle #embrafrost #<< my proposed ship names

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studaxy · 11 days

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studyblr intro [revamped!!]

if you're here from before, hello, welcome back, I did not pass NEET lol, no one is surprised, medicine was just not in my destiny T_T

now if you're wondering what I do from here - or if you're new here, hello, I'm a axy, a desi 19 year old with mental illnesses figuring out career stuff and sharing it all on a tumblr blog, hope you enjoy your stay <3 - I'm doing a complete 180 from medicine and getting into engineering!! computer science and engineering specifically, and I'm pleased to report I'm more excited than scared about full-time studying subjects I only dabbled in a year or two ago

what to expect from a revamped studaxy? consistency!! jk maybe

right now (late may 24) I have about 2-3 months until my academic year in university begins. I have plans to force a romance with calculus refresh on math fundamentals!! until august-september I'm planning on tackling chapters on my own from textbooks and reporting my progress on it

the beautiful and intelligent @a-fox-studies has kindly agreed to coach me on the coding basics because while I've studied math before, I never took computer science as a subject and am hopelessly clueless. but I am in good hands because not only is she the most amazing best friend but also an amazing teacher!! this will be fun :D

I want to interact more with asks and challenges on studyblr which I didn't do when I was studying for NEET. I'm turning a new leaf now! its time to kick my social anxiety's ass and actually be a part of this really fun community and I'm looking forward to it

IM LEARNING CHESS AND I'LL WIN ONE DAY @a-fox-studies

you can read this (old studyblr intro) if you wanna know more about me! most of it has remained the same lol

hoping for a fun four years ahead of me :D <3

#axythings #studyblr #studyinspo #study movitation #studyblr intro post #part 2 lol

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the-cat-and-the-birdie · 9 months

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Hi hi! I love how in depth and detailed you are when making/creating characters, or even when talking about other characters.

but I was curious, I wanted to be more inclusive/have more representation of PoC with my art works. But I do not know where to begin, or how to properly do research especially with how to research history and find accurate articles or so on.

Which I was curious on if you have any tips or pointers on how to do this/do my homework correctly?

THANKS!! OOOOhhhh I love research! And for a recent Spidersona, I had to do something like this. So here's the process I use to say things that kinda sorta make sense sometimes

How to Learn Any Topic RIGHT NOW- (kinda)

[A slightly LONG length post where I talk about my biggest resource and my number one tactic for sounding like you know your shit in an hour or less. Plus a list of educational Youtubers]

In High School, I mastered an art. The Art of 'Skyrim Speech 100'. The way to sound like you know what you're talking about, and form a pretty solid foundation of information in one sitting.

I am DEADASS CONVINCED that I have it boiled down to a very specific scientific formula. I got this I okay. I gotchu I swear I'm bout to have you like this im so deadass -

For me personally, the best resource is YouTube. One Website - Three Videos. And you're GOOD.

I have ADHD so - huge attention issues, so videos are a go to for me.

But I also really appreciate seeing the person explaining things to me. Finding good websites can be HARD, especially nowadays where a lot of websites might not even be written by humans, just clobbered together by AI.

For me, YouTube lets me see the person behind the channel, and it's a lot easier for me to vet the information if it's coming from one person who is open about their identity/certifications.

If their whole channel is dedicated to one thing, you can usually tell when they're very dedicated/educated on a topic, and I feel a lot more comfortable listening to them. Rather than reading random websites with writers I don't know/can't see.

Longform Youtube can be SO GOOD.

I'm gonna list some at the bottom - but you can find channels on everything. From architecture, to historical dress, to subway systems, entire cultures, etc.

In recent years Youtube has made a big push for longform content - so I recommend checking out videos that are 15 minutes OR MORE.

Not only is that enough time to go in depth, but because it's a video - the information is fed to you in a linear fashion. It's a lot more conversational and visual than reading a website.

If you hear something and need to remember, you can always go back. It can be hard to go back to a webpage and find the exact line, but videos are a bit easier.

Tips:

Try for find Youtubers that focus on ONE topic - or creators who go in depth about a wide array of interesting things (like Tom Scott or Anthony Padilla). Look for Doctors and Professors - A lot of educational professionals have youtube channels now. And they'll usually be upfront about it, searching things like 'History Professor explains X' or 'Doctor explains Y'. TEDTalks are good for this too. Look for people who are, or have the thing you're representing - If you're writing for a disability, it's always good to watch a video about the day in the life of someone with it - mental illnesses too. And there are a lot of great youtubers that easily break down things like cultural practices - or the issues they face because of their identity. Look for news channels. Watch current events. Vice, BBC, Channel 4, and have a lot of good current news, and they're posting videos every day. These videos show real life conditions while explaining it all, and they're really helpful for knowing about current political/cultural topics. DOCUMENTARIES!!!! - There is a documentary on anything. You can quote them in academics, and unlike movies, people post them on YouTube ALL the time, and people make them all the time. If you need to know about something, DOCUMENTARY.

I love using videos for everything, and below is how I use them:

I have a method that usually helps me sound like I'm super knowledgeable - By casting a very wide and very specific net over any topic. By narrowing any topic down to three parts, you can learn about 40% of a topic, but sound like you know 80%.

How to Teach Yourself Any Topic (in an hour and some change)

Three step method.

Watch three longform videos (15+ mins) about the topic. Each video about something slightly different.

The first video is about The History. This teaches us about the background of the topic. The second video is about The Expert Opinion. This teaches us about the reality of the topic. The third video is about a Random Topic inside of the main topic. This is to make us sound smart (in school)/add details or inspiration (while making characters).

Watch a fifteen minute video about each of these things, and in less than an hour, you'll have a pretty solid foundation of what it is, where it came from, and random (but surprisingly useful) details.

And when I say random I MEAN RANDOM. Can be anything - the niche, the better.

I'll give an example below with real search results and videos.

[I also give tips on how to search by topic (culture, religion, time period, etc) - as well as a list of educational BUT FUN Youtubers]

Example: I wanna make a Victorian Era Spider-woman.

The History Video - I watch a video about the general era, or what it was like being a woman in that time. I searched: Women in Victorian Era I found a real video titled: The Daily Life of a Victorian Lady

The Expert Opinion - I wanted to design her outfit accurately, so I looked for a Dress Historian's opinion on 1880's outfits I searched: Victorian Era Fashion I found a real channel: Bernadetta Banner (a channel all about recreating historical dresses - by a Broadway costume designer.)

The Random Topic - I don't know much about the Victorian Era..but I know theres two topics people always relate to the era - Sherlock Holmes and Jack the Ripper. I chose Sherlock. Sooooo, I watched a video about whether BBC sherlock was better than Downy Sherlock. Why? Because in 15 minutes it tells me about the show, the movie, AND the book - ALSO while teaching about the time period. I searched: BBC Sherlock vs Book I found a real video titled: Sherlock vs Sherlock - Which Iteration is Superior.

So after three 15-20 minute videos I know the history, the facts, and some random niche details of a topic.

Do I know everything about it? Not at all! But doing that, usually you can probably get through a conversation without freaking out too much.

By doing all that - I now know enough about the Victorian Era. From those videos I can accurately write an average Victorian woman, design her outfit accurate to the era, and also infuse some Victorian literature influence into her story.

All in an hour.

It works for other people character's too. Watching a video on the 70's, a video on the Punk Movement, and then a video of lets say a video about the band Ramones

Methods:

Some ideas for different topics:

If you want to show a character from a different time period -

If you're trying to write a character like Hobie, first watch a video about the history of the period - to understand when they were living. Then watch a video on their style/subculture - like the Punk movement. Then pick a specific band/media from the era and watch a video on it.

Sidebar: This is actually how I made Diane! I have little to no idea about the 70's outside of Punk. So searched up the history of 70's Disco, a video by Glamour about 1970's fashion, and I only knew one or two Disco singers (Donna Summer & Diana Ross) - so I chose Diana Ross. Diana is the direct inspiration for Diane's name and big hair. I never reference Diana, but it helps Diane fit the Disco theme, by emulating one of THE disco queens.

If you want to show a character from a different country -

Like India for example, a good place to start is watching a video about the history of India, then watching a vlog from someone in India (in the area you're thinking of), then watch a video about Indian fashion, or indian street food, or indian family traditions - so you can sprinkle those details into the story or conversation. Then you can build from there. Big tip: If they're from the city watch a video about the city's transit/subway system if they have one. It's a VERY fast way to learn the city, and make it sound like they actually live there, even if you're just name dropping stations and town squares.

If you want to show a character with a mental illness, disability or condition -

Start off by searching the background of the condition. Have a doctor break down what it is, how it effects the body, the mind, or both. Then watch a video of an average person with the condition, and their experience day to day. Then try and find a specific advocate, celebrity, or influence who goes into depth about it and how they empower themselves.

If you want to show someone from a different religion -

Watch a video about the beliefs of the religion, then the history of the religion, then a video of someone who practices the religion.

ETC-

Now disclaimer, this won't make you actually know everything about the topic - but at the very least, you'll probably be using the terms and words right. And you might be able to think up your own thought from there.

I used this ALL THROUGH High School.

If I know next class is about Marie Antoinette - yeah sure lemme go run and learn about her life history, her fashion taste, and the architecture of the Palace of Versailles in an hour.

Now I can talk about her childhood, personality, and where she lived.

The Great Gatsby? Never read it and I never will. The movie? NEVER SEEN IT. I searched up the history/inspiration of the author, watched a video on the book's plot and symbolism, then watched a video on the book vs the movie.

From there I kinda understood what the book was about, why the author might have written it, the symbolic ho-ha, and the extra details as if I watched the movie too.

And from there I could formulate whether I think the symbolism matters to our modern day society and why the director changed small details from the book, and etc, etc.

It was enough for me to bullshit and say words and usually people are like 'yeah you seem to be making sense' lol

HELL throw in ANOTHER video about the lives of women in the 1920's and I could probably bullshit an argument on how the Great Gatsby reflects gender roles in the Flapper Era. Like gun to my head I could probably come up with something im so deadass

HEY IM NOT SAYING SLACK OFF IN SCHOOL OKAY - DO NOT THIS IS JUST MY TESTIMONIAL - USE THIS TO LEARN TOPICS NOT BOOKS ITS A GREAT TOOL

Also disclaimer: use this for good don't be walking around like you Know Know Shit cause someone might check you and then i cant help you this is just a way to understand the basis of topics and be able to form thoughts and hold conversations about them or use them in your art and writing.

Plus it's a great way to gather strong resources for your art and writing.

It's a lot easier to show characters in a natural accurate way when you've curated a very rounded understanding of the topic or era - not just in an educational historical sense.

For the purposes of character creation, essays, sounding like you know anything in conversations - this does help. And you do start absorbing stuff. It's just about breaking the topic down, and learning about it in blocks.

If you understand the history, you can understand the now, and if you understand the now, you can understand the nuance. Like that.

I hope this helped! And because tis customary here, take this photo of Hobart Brown and go forth

And because I cannot send you off into the wild with no place to start here are some of my favorite youtubers that are actually FUN - here's a list.

Bye.

Youtube Channels

Bernadette Banner - Historical Clothing Expert specializing in Edwardian - Victorian

RMTransit - Videos about subway systems, buses, and public transit across the world. VERY quick way to realistically learn about a city

Anthony Padilla - Has lots of 'I Spent a Day With-' videos, where he sits down with people. Has videos ranging on things from Dipolar Disorder and ADHD to things like Asexuality and Ex-Mormons. Good for getting multiple honest experiences of people.

ReligionForBreakfast - Simple approachable videos about religions, their histories and beliefs. Made by a doctor of Religious Studies

Cognito - VERY good historical, cultural, and geographical videos, all cutely animated

Tasting History with Max Miller - Historically accurate cooking videos with really cool stories and histories to match

Vice News - Very good, very vetted Left-leaning news source. Vice and Vice News are two different things. Vice News is really good for current events videos on things like conflicts in countries.

Johnny Haris - slightly longer explainer videos about countries, geography, history, and weird quirks

Vox - Short detailed explainers about....anything really.

Weird History - .....It's history that's weird

Absolute History - Longer Documentaries about History, mainly the 1900's

CrowsEyeProductions - Really good Historical Fashion videos of 1400-2000's

Morgon Donner - ANOTHER Historical Fashion channel (they're really interesting yall) that focuses more on Medieval era

J.J McCullough - REALLY good videos about culture in general, as well as geography videos full of full interesting facts (did you know Nepal is the only country with a flag not four sided?) He also has some spicy takes on Canadian and Quebec politics that are interesting to me as an American but ????

Kati Moron - A therapist who makes videos about the experiences of mental illnesses and their treatment

Dr. Tracey Marks - A Doctor who makes short videos explaining the symptoms and experiences of neurodivergences and mental illnesses

#no proofread #Writing #fanfic writing #oc #spidersonas #spidersona #studyblr #study motivation #writing advice

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blazethecheeto · 5 months

Text

ATLAS PARADOX RAMBLING

dude this book. i need to talk. about it. im going insane.

everyone who hasn't read it, PLEASE DO!!! it's a dark academia book about a bunch of gay silly magic people that join a society and try to kill each other. there's time travel, a big ass polycule, aesthetic scenes, the prettiest writing style in the world, science, philosophy, and fucked family. (opposite of found family).

(extremely chaotic unorganized long rant below, with spoilers. click at your own risk)

FIRST OF ALL WHY WAS THIS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE FIRST ONE?!!?!?

i had to power through the first one, it felt long, and unnecessary and like trekking through a JUNGLE with the thickest and most intricate ecosystem that i had to peel back and unravel for hours and hours. only to like move the plot by an inch.

BUT THIS. olivie blake found her footing because this was so good. i am aware the reviews hate on this book and some people don't like it, but personally i adore it and it's really well written.

CHARACTERS

bro they all had such wonderful voices, like they were distinct and unique from each other but not drastically, noticeably different I NEED TO LEARN FROM THIS. six of crows and the atlas six do multi povs so well <3 its like this book was made for me, each character was perfect and incredible and gay and silly and-

reina. love of my life. i look forward to all her povs because the plants are so silly and she's the best character. i said it. she's canon asexual now too YEES. i needed more of her because she was barely in the first one, and they DELIVERED. the juicy plot with her 'god complex' (ily callum) and her feelings getting hurt and learning she actually is lonely and wants friends? she's so wanda maximoff. next book better have her opening up and learning to love people or i riot (and also her killing people and being the badass she is)

parisa always my fave too, i do wish her character wasn't always talking about sex or romance, there were some great moments in this book where she showed off her telepathy powers (the prince in the tower!!) it was awesome. i'm glad they acknowledged that side of her with reina, (oh my god i ship them so much wait till i rant about them-) but dude i still HATE DALTON. SO MUCH. OH MY GOD. every time it's her pov i dread seeing dalton, i wish she could give that up. generic white men should die.

CALLUM. whatever turned him from complex, daunting, and a psychopath last book to janus from sanders sides this book- beautiful choice. he's literally the one sassy wine-sipping gay aunt that feels nothing and everything at once, also extremely mentally ill and depressed. he's SO FUNNY. his povs are fucking hilarious to read, and he quickly became one of my faves bc of how complex he is. i'm not smart enough to decipher and psychoanalyze him but god i LOVE CHARACTERS LIKE THIS.

i don't know what happened but nico is literally one of my faves now too, he's so silly and sweet and kind and i loved his relationships with everyone this book. like him trying to murder tristan in multiple different ways oml. he's my bbg. tristan was hit or miss for me, i did find him interesting but he's not my favourite. doesn't mean i hate him, he's so very british, i feel it radiating off the page. libby my queen my icon, her dream povs were so trippy i loved it- so so realistic to a real dream, that was the most surprising and unique part. also my bisexual queen seducing belen??

i did not like ezra and atlas was a little iffy here and there but tbh the cast was so well rounded and interesting and unique but paralleled each other so well?? THE RELATIONSHIPS. I DONT THINK ANY BOOK HAS THIS INTRICATE WEB-LIKE RELATIONSHIPS WITH EACH OTHER. they're one big polycule.

RELATIONSHIPS

nico and libby <3 i love them so much as siblings/queerplatonic partners. i don't ship them romantically, because i LOVE how they subverted the eye-rolling predictable ' YA academic rivals enemies to lovers' trope. when i started TAS, i immediately thought they were gonna get together and assumed the worst. but no, they still had the banter and importance in their relationship but without the romance? instead both of them were gay af. it's beautiful. i love subverting tropes so much. they're each other's 'other half' and they're hilarious together.

NICO AND TRISTAN. they were such a highlight this book, it was unexpected but so funny. nico trying to murder tristan and their little talks because 'they're not friends...just coworkers' yeah right, the best friendships start with creatively murdering each other. tristan being droll and chill af, and then nico bouncing off the walls my adhd king.

reina and nico broke me?? like that one chapter where they sparred and caught up with each other and reina was guarding her hurt feelings. DUDE THAT KILLED ME. made me stare at the ceiling for a good minute. their friendship is everything to me, they contrast each other so well. she deserves to be treated better- when they had that projection chapter and she saw that nico downplayed her skills...like she was good, but not good enough for him to care about her. AGGHGH.

REINA AND PARISA. NOW THIS. THIS HOOKED ME INTO THE BOOK. i ship them so bad guys. they parallel each other and are both hot and enemies to lovers and wlw slow burn and- look. reina is asexual, therefore the only person to truly see and understand parisa for who she is, and not be influenced by her body. like that one projection. she can help parisa understand HERSELF and who she is past her sexual desirability. how to love someone again. romantically. then, on the flip side, parisa can help reina see and understand OTHERS. reina only sees people as one trait, cut and dry- without any of the complex feelings. parisa is a telepath, she knows how to read others. THEY CAN BOTH HELP EACH OTHER AND LOVE EACH OTHER IN WAYS THEY NEVER COULD HAVE OMFDADJFLSKJADFL- also reina pinned her against a wall and they want to kill each other and every time they interact i scream into my pillow-

'You can't love anyone right?"

"I've met very few people worth loving."

*throws myself off a building*

now we just gotta play the familiar game "IS IT DELUSION OR IS IT JUST SLOW BURN" and find out whether their insane chemistry pays off in book 3.

the nico parisa scene was actually sweet ngl, even though i don't ship them. the whole callum and tristan thing was so bitter exes situationship coded and i ate every second up. especially that last conversation. AND OFC. GIDEON AND NICO?!!! AAAAA THEY WERE SO CUTE THEY'RE ENDGAME I SCREAMED WHEN THEY KISSED DUDE THEYRE SO-

PLOT

now for the actual plot. this book has so many interesting subjects and philosophies and debates i'm not smart enough for this. but past all the aesthetic glamour, it's science, time travel, dreams, multiverses, fate, reality, and the complexities of the human mind. and my god it's fascinating as fuck.

do i have any idea what they do in this society?? NO. am i entertained? YES. especially that whole explosion paradox to bring libby back to the future. the whole powering the connections via aurora borealis? the whole debate about being gods? i love it. i love it.

alright im so sorry for that rant, i gotta go now but DUDE I LOVE THIS BOOK NO MATTER HOW WEIRD IT WAS

#the atlas six #the atlas paradox #fandom rant #long post #jesus HOW MANY WORDS WAS THIS #this was long #parisa kamali #libby rhodes #nico de varona #reina mori #tristain caine #atlas blakely #callum nova #nicogideon #reina x parisa #tas #my faves #mine

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bioethicists · 1 year

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hi i hope you dont mind this question. i assume because you are anti psych/mad liberation (me too) you probably also get the pro psych reaction of "thats dangerous" and "its not all like that" and the accusation that acknowledging the fact that psychiatric and therapy "care" is so bad will make people quit that care and they will inevitably get worse and it'll be your fault? im an anti psych blogger and this really messes me up because my whole thing is that i DONT want mentally ill ppl to suffer, and thats the whole reason i AM anti psych. and i am afraid ppl will somehow be harmed by me telling the truth or making (evil!) generalizations about psych professionals, etc.

to me it seems incredibly reactionary, usually comes with a moral panic flavor, and is chock full of victim blaming cliches. it seems to me that it hinges on the fear and threat of 1. a Crazy person rejecting treatment and 2. a Crazy person rejecting authority, so again, it seems to be based mostly in stigma. and yet it does seem true and possible that ppl will be influenced in ways that turn out poorly and i dont want that to happen either. and yet again, framing it like "dont tell ppl what health care to pursue" is a misnomer since psych care is simply about social control... and that facade of health care just protects them from criticism in a bad faith way cause it makes you look anti vax adjacent and telling ppl not to see doctors. im not really interested in telling ppl what to do when it comes to accessing psych care, but my general analysis is that: is refusing psych care possibly dangerous? yes. is getting psych care also possibly dangerous? yes.

anyway the main question is if/how you deal with this. both intellectually and emotionally. cause i think its possibly the hardest part of sharing anti psych views in public. it makes me feel guilty and afraid. and i think making splicing disclaimers sucks and is stupid. so idk. thanks for reading.

first of all, i absolutely do experience this + it used to piss me off more than it does now but now it mostly makes me sad. i think you summed it up so well when you said that both refusing + seeking psych care can be dangerous.

part of it is that, the deeper i root into my belief in bodily autonomy, the more i stop punishing myself if someone takes a good faith, well-phrased assertion i've made + spins that into something harmful which i never said or intended. i am very deliberate to only spread information that pushes for expanding + critiquing methods of healing, stressing that my goal is to free people from suffering, not compound it.

i know that some people who are struggling with paranoia or self-destructive impulses read mad liberation talking points (often finding their ways to the more conspiracy fueled or recklessly phrased ones) + respond in ways that end up harming them, like cold-turkey going off antipsychotics or firing their entire treatment teams to take sketchy supplements. it does make me very sad that this happens, because like you said, i want these people to be happy + not suffer.

however, i rarely see comparable conversation about how people take the logics of the psych system and use THOSE to harm themselves. many people with similar traits to those who do what you are describing are just as likely to use the logics of psychiatry to punish themselves or distance themselves from others. they use 'coping mechanisms' punitively by becoming obsessed with 'clean' eating/dieting, organization/academics, being the Perfect Patient. they tell others + themselves that they are neurologically incapable of love or healthy relationships or pleasure. they isolate themselves because they believe they are fundamentally toxic or abusive. they dismiss their emotions as "just symptoms" + actively chastise themselves or try to train themselves out of experiencing any anger towards others or even any negative emotions at all. they admit themselves to psych wards frequently not out of a reasonable concern that they will hurt themselves or others but because they believe they belong in a psych ward any time they are experiencing symptoms. the list goes on.

all of that being said, i do experience genuine concern that people might read what i write + because of self-hatred or intense paranoia, read some sort of mandate or advice that isn't there + end up in more pain. because this exact thing also happens with psychiatry, which the naysayers you describe above are not concerned with, i don't think they're actually worried about hurting people. they are worried about Crazy people Not Getting Help. it comes from a place of paternalism + fear.

another, more positive aspect of it is that i do genuinely believe that many people are not being helped by their treatment teams but think they Have To be in therapy or in a hospital or on meds despite them not helping because that's What You Do. so they have been sitting around waiting for five years of therapy or their seventh ssri to start doing something meaningful. some of them just needed to hear: you don't have to do this; it might not be the right thing for you. i actually think these people are really well-served by hearing about anti-psych/mad lib stuff + them quitting therapy/meds/treatment ends up allowing them to look for other pathways for dealing with emotional suffering.

ultimately, i think mad liberation that focuses on true autonomy + total liberation of all peoples provides a clearer path forward for people to return from these places of intense paranoia or self destruction. i think we are all so used to being deprived of autonomy that, when we first get it back, we often stumble with it or try to provoke someone into taking it away from us. that is just going to continue to happen if we respond to it by making autonomy conditional. a LOT of us feel like we're not allowed to heal if it's not a moral mandate, so hearing that it isn't feels like nobody cares. we have to find new ways of showing that we care which don't involve exerting power over others.

#anti psychiatry #long n rambling sorryyy

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