Protect & Love - E.N
Summary: Being close friends in the orphanage, y/n and Edward move in together after leaving it. They eventually get in a relationship. Edward knows y/n has lots of trauma, has abandonment issues, and is very dependent, but he loves them very much. He wants to be with them for the rest of his life. He'll protect her always.
(I got inspo for this after seeing that scene from Ruby Sparks where she cries when he lets go of her hand. I haven't seen the entire movie, but ik that Calvin is AN ASSHOLE! So, this fanfic is NOT about any of that. It is only about y/n being safe with Edward and Edward taking care of her.)
(A/N: This is based on what I know about age-re and my personal experiences with it. I know not every one's experience with it is the same. So, keep that in mind while reading <3)
ALSO HOLY FUCK THIS WHOLE FANFIC IS SO CUTE I'M PISSING PLUTONIUM ELEMENT ^v^
Content Warning: Y/n is an age regressor (regresses to like around 10-11 years old), explicit language, trauma, drugs, alcohol, abandonment issues, angst, fluff, panic attacks, PTSD, Edward being a great friend and partner, AFAB!Reader, she/her pronouns. (rare moment for me not to make y/n gay in some way.)
Word Count:
Songs For Inspo:
daydreaming - Rebzyyx, horrormovies
La Vie en rose - Edith Piaf
Wanderings - Mook
Love Like You - Rebecca Sugar
rises the moon - Liana Flores
Kids - Current Joys
~Read Below Cut~
(also, idk shit about orphanages so i will most likely get how they work VERY wrong. pls don't take any offensive from how i write it <3 im doing my best pookies)
~
"Children, gather around now! Come on, hurry up! We have a new friend joining our home."
The children in the room all huddled up around Sister Addams. Edward stood in the back, not wanting to deal with wiggling through the crowd of kids. He didn't like being in big crowds. Instead, he stood on his tippy toes, trying to get a good look at who was joining the orphanage.
"This is y/n! I trust that you'll all make her feel comfortable. Go on, y/n. Say something about yourself." Sister Addams encouraged.
Edward couldn't see her too well, even on the tips of his toes. But, eventually, he found a little crack of space that he could see her through. She looked really skinny and frail, just like him. But, so did everyone else in the orphanage really. A brown teddy bear was held tightly to her chest, as if it was her form of life support.
'She's pretty...'
"Um, I like...um...ponies?" She mumbled.
"Ponies! Isn't that nice? I'm sure you'll find other girls that like ponies too. Your bed is at the very far left end, near the window." She said.
Y/n nodded as Sister Addams left the room. Some children stared at her for a little while longer before walking away, while others left immediately after. She stayed standing there for a little while longer. Once the crowd dispersed, Edward could see her more clearly now. She wore a yellow sundress with white knee socks bunched around her ankles. It looked like she was crying. Pushing up his glasses, he walked towards her.
"Hi, I'm Edward." He said, holding his hand out.
Y/n looked at him, bear still held tightly to her chest. After a little bit, she held out one hand and shook his. She found a handshake to be extremely formal for their age.
"How old are you?" Edward asked.
"I'm 10..."
"Me too."
Y/n looked down at the floor, gripping the bear tight again. She wiped away her tears with the back of her arm. Edward stood awkwardly, glancing around the room. He didn't really know what to do about her crying.
"Why are you sad?"
"My p-parents were mean to me. I g-got taken aw-way from them..." She said between soft cries.
Edward noticed how she fidgeted with the ear of the stuffed animal. Perhaps that was a stuffed animal from when she lived with her parents.
"I'm sorry that they were mean. I don't know my parents." He said bluntly.
"Y-You don't have parents?" She asked, curiously.
"Well, I do. I just don't know where they are...or who they are."
"Oh, I'm sorry..." Y/n trailed.
Edward pointed at her face; more specifically her eyes. Y/n looked at his finger, going cross-eyed as she did so. He smiled and dropped his hand back down.
"I like your eyes. They're pretty."
Y/n blushed, smiling softly.
"Thanks, I like your glasses. They look cool. I bet you can see everything with them!" She giggled.
"I don't think it's possible to see everything. A human's peripheral vision isn't that wide." He stated.
"You're silly." Y/n said.
"Thank you?"
~
After that first interaction, the two kids became inseparable. They were best friends till the very end. Edward was literally the only person y/n ever hung out with. She didn't get along with anyone else. Plus, Edward was the only one who talked to her when she came to the orphanage. She was alone, abandoned by her family, hurt, and he was there to make her feel welcome. Needless to say, she got attached to him quickly. As they got older, around 14, that's when Edward started to realize that y/n had severe trauma. Who could blame her? He was a smart kid, always reading books on information that seemed unimportant, and one of the books he read was on psychology. He deducted that y/n had abandonment issues, which was justifiable seeing as what she went through. When they were both 16, there was one thing that y/n did that he found an answer for after reading some of Freud's work. Though, he didn't really need a book to understand what it was.
~
Edward and y/n sat at the cafeteria tables, the only ones sitting at the table they were at. No one ever sat with them, but they didn't really care. In fact, they favored the privacy. Looking up from his 'food' Edward noticed y/n had barely eaten anything. He sighed, leaning over the table slightly and moved her tray to get her attention. She had been spaced out the entire time.
"Hey, you need to eat something. Ok?" He said.
Y/n snapped out of her daze, fidgeting with the bear on her lap. She carried it around with her everywhere. Everyone in the orphanage made fun of her for it. But, it was something that brought a lot of comfort to her. Edward didn't mind it. He found comfort in books and y/n found comfort in a stuffed animal. What was the big deal?
"M' not really that hungry..." She murmured.
Edward scoffed softly, rubbing his hand over his forehead in frustration. He grabbed the fork and her hand, placing it on her palm. She looked up at him, eyes big and just as pretty as they were when he first saw her.
"Eat. Please? Just a few bites at least." He asked.
Y/n sighed, but gave in. She took a bite of her food, and Edward smiled. He was glad that she was eating. After a few more bites, she put the fork back down. He wanted to tell her to eat more, but he was just glad she ate something. Edward looked at her a little more closely, seeing how she was positioned and acting.
"Are you ok?" Edward questioned.
She shook her head, looking down at her lap. He wasn't quite sure what was wrong with her. Edward leaned forward, elbows propped on the table. She was picking at the fuzz on the bear; something she did when she was nervous or uncomfortable. He picked up on it immediately.
"Oh, is it...are you...?" He asked quietly, not wanting to draw attention to them.
She nodded.
"Um, ok. Do you want to go back to our room?" He asked.
She nodded again. Edward could tell that she was extremely uncomfortable. It was pretty obvious now. He stood up and picked his tray up.
"Are you done eating?"
Y/n nodded. Edward picked up her tray and placed it on top of his. He started to walk away, but y/n grabbed the sleeve of his shirt. Stopping, he turned around and looked down at her. He sighed. She didn't want him to leave her alone.
"Well, come with me then." He said.
Y/n stood up, holding one of the bear's arms in her hand tightly as she walked next to him. People stared at her, making her feel like she was in the spotlight. Everyone in the orphanage thought that Edward and y/n were the strangest kids in the building. So, when they stood next to each other, everyone looked. Why wouldn't they? They all wanted a look at the freaks. The two of them did their best to ignore it though as Edward put the trays on the counter. Quickly, they left the lunchroom and turned the corner. Within a minute, they were back in their room. Y/n walked to her bed and sat down on it, legs drawn up to her chest as her head hung between her knees. Edward grabbed a book from under his bed and walked over to her. He sat down on the foot of the bed, facing her as he opened up his book. This was a frequent thing that happened with y/n. Edward had concluded from observing (and sneaking onto the computer in the library for research) that y/n age regressed. It was a coping mechanism, no doubt to help her cope with her childhood trauma. She felt embarrassed of it, not wanting to be around anyone when it happened. Well, other than Edward. He wouldn't make fun of her. He didn't think it was weird. He actually helped her when it happened.
"Do you need to be alone or do you want company?" He asked, flipping through the book he had.
"Company." She said simply.
"Ok. Do you want to read with me?"
Y/n wiped a tear away from her eye, sniffling. She brought her head up, looking at what he was reading. The title said 'Frankenstein'. Y/n pointed at the cover of the book, tapping it multiple times. She wanted to say something, but she couldn't figure out how to say it. Edward gave her time.
"Is this the book where that guy makes that monster?" She asked finally.
"Yeah, I like it a lot. I've read it multiple times." He said.
"I wanted to read it." Y/n said.
"Want me to read it to you?" Edward suggested.
Y/n nodded, sitting next to him and resting her head on his shoulder. Once she was settled, he opened up the book. He was already more than halfway through, but he'd start over for her. He didn't mind. His fingers flipped through the pages until he found the first chapter. Adjusting his glasses, he cleared his throat before starting to read.
"To Mrs. Saville, England..."
~
The two of them kept going in and out of foster homes. No one ever wanted to 'keep' them. But, to be honest, they were ok with that. They didn't like being apart from each other. Every time y/n would come back, she would run into Edward's arms and cry. She would tell him how much she missed him and that she didn't want to leave him ever again. He felt so bad for her. Edward was certain that no one could take care of her quite like he could. He was the only one who knew her well. Well, eventually, Edward turned 18. Oh, y/n was a wreck. But, they had already made a plan.
~
"Hey, hey, it's ok! Your birthday is in a few months. You can hang in for a few more months, right?" He said gently, hugging her close to his chest.
"No I can't! Don't le-leave me!" She sobbed.
"I can't stay. You know that." Edward sighed.
He pushed y/n off of him, grabbing her shoulders. The poor thing had tears streaming down her face. How would she survive without him? Edward had always been there for her for almost 8 years straight. The people in the orphanage were so mean to her too. He wiped away her tears.
"Remember our plan? I was already given a job at KTMJ. While I'm out, I'll get an apartment for us. And when you turn 18, I'll be right behind those doors waiting for you. I promise you." He said.
Y/n sniffled, clearing her throat as she looked down at the ground. She sighed, holding back more tears from pouring out. Edward smiled at her as she looked back up at him. She had small grin on her face.
"Y-You're really smart, Eddie. Already ha-have a job and you haven't e-even left yet. You've got e-everything planned out..." She lightly chuckled.
"Of course I do, you know I'm a planner."
"Can I have one more hug?" She asked softly.
Edward nodded, giving her a tight hug for the millionth time. She wrapped her arms around his neck, letting out a shaky breath. Maybe if she never let go he would never have to leave. No, of course that wouldn't work. He had to go. She had to push through.
"Ok, I'll be ok..." She told herself as she pulled away from the hug.
"Yeah, you're brave and strong. You've got this." He reassured.
Edward picked up his suitcase that had his belongings in it. It wasn't much of course. He gave y/n another smile, ruffling her hair up. She swatted his hand away, glaring at him. Holding up his hands in defense, he walked towards the doors that left the orphanage. Y/n watched him leave, giving him a wave before he left her alone in the building.
'Now what?'
~
Well, Edward had kept his promise. When y/n was let go from the orphanage, he was outside waiting for her. She ran to him and practically jumped into his arms. From an outsiders perspective, it would look like they were a couple. But, they weren't. They were just really good friends. But, both of them would be lying if they said they didn't have feelings for the other. Regardless, Edward brought y/n to the apartment he had got for them. He could only afford a one bedroom apartment. Y/n understood, she didn't really have a problem with it. But, Edward being the gentleman he was let her sleep in his bed while he slept on the couch. Y/n looked for a job, though she had difficulty finding a good one. It was so hard for her to go out and be around other people. She was socially awkward and got so nervous so easily. But, she ended up landing a job as a barista at a coffee shop. Cliche? Sure. Did she care? No. She just wanted a job so she could help with rent. She was starting to get adjusted to life outside the orphanage, she could finally be in a comfortable setting, and she was living with her best friend. How could things get any better?
~
Edward and y/n sat at the table near the kitchen. The both of them had had a long day at work. Y/n yawned, taking a bite of her cereal. Yep, cereal for dinner once again. A meal for champions. That's what she liked to call it.
"Hey, y/n?" Edward said.
She looked up from her bowl, a dribble of the milk trickling from the corner of her mouth. Edward chuckled, placing his spoon down in the bowl. He leaned forward and used his thumb to wipe away the milk, giving her a soft smile. Y/n giggled at the action. Edward sighed, he wasn't really sure how to ask the question he so desperately wanted to ask. So, he decided to just be blunt with it.
"Will you be my girlfriend?" He asked.
Y/n's eyes widened, dropping her spoon in the bowl. Edward's eyes widened too, glancing around the room awkwardly. She nodded frantically, a huge smile plastered on her face. He gave a sigh of relief internally. Thank heavens. Because of how close they sat to each other, y/n grabbed his hand and entwined it with hers. She hummed, resting her cheek on the back of his hand. Edward watched her closely, seeing how comfortable she was around him. It made him happy to know that he could make her feel safe. He looked down to the newspaper in front of him, looking over the daily crossword. Y/n reached over and grabbed his pencil. Raising an eyebrow, he watched as she filled in 20 across. The hint was "a thing that becomes terrifying or destructive to its maker; a movie; a book". When she pulled away from the paper and placed the pencil on the table, he read what she wrote down.
'Frankenstein'
Grinning from ear to ear, he looked over at her. Pride was evident on his face, and y/n could see it. She so dearly loved when he was proud of her. He was the only person in her life that ever felt proud of her.
"Well look at you go! You smart cookie, you."
Y/n shrugged, resting her cheek back on his hand. Edward hummed to himself as he filled out the rest of the crossword puzzle. It took him a little under two minutes. It was a fairly easy crossword puzzle; at least for him it was. With a goofy grin on his face, he asked a question.
"Does this mean I can sleep in my bed again? With you?"
She nodded happily.
"Thank God..."
~
Edward knew that y/n was a bit of a handful. He had been 'dealing' with her for 8 years. But, he didn't really see it as a problem. He loved who she was. Yeah, she was different, but he loved that about her. He knew that she struggled with her trauma, but he wanted to help her with it. When you love someone, you'd do anything for them. That's exactly how Edward was. Usually, he was a very shy person, hating PDA and not wanting any attention brought onto him. But, now that he was dating her, PDA was inevitable. He now loved PDA. Granted, it wasn't like they were making out in public, except for that one time. Rather, they were always holding hands. Y/n was always in Edward's arms. He never let her out of his sight.
~
-PRESENT-
~
Y/n was in the 'lobby' of Edward's office. The receptionist casted glances at her occasionally. Looking at the nameplate, y/n saw that it said 'Amy Tompkins'. Standing up, y/n walked over to her and waved. Amy hesitantly waved back with a small smile.
"Hi! I'm y/n!" She said, holding out her hand.
Amy raised an eyebrow, but took her hand and shook it.
"Nice to meet you y/n, I'm Amy."
"Oh, I know! I read the plate! I just wanted to ask, is your job hard?" She asked, propping her elbows on the raised counter.
Tompkins smirked, amused at the question. When y/n had walked in earlier, she mentioned that she was just waiting for Edward to get off of work. People at the office had heard that Edward Nashton had a girlfriend, but they didn't really believe it. And now that Amy was actually seeing her, she was surprised. For Edward Nashton's girlfriend, they sure seemed to be the complete opposite of him.
"Uh, not really no. I mean, sometimes our clients can be...a bit rude...but other than that it's pretty easy." She answered.
"Hmph, I hate customer service so much." Y/n sighed.
"You work in customer service?" Amy asked.
"Yeah, I'm a barista."
"Oh, so you really get cranky customers, don't you?" She laughed.
Y/n groaned, nodding her head.
"You have no idea..."
Amy chuckled, looking down at the computer as she typed something. Y/n hummed to herself, glancing at the clock. Only a few more minutes before Edward got off of work. She glanced over her shoulders, as if she was trying to be sneaky about something. Y/n cupped a hand over her mouth.
"Do you have candy? I've heard receptionists usually have candies out." She whispered.
Amy couldn't help but let a giggle out. She nodded, grabbing a cute glass jar that had individually wrapped chocolates in it. Y/n's eyes widened. She had rarely ever had chocolate her entire life since she grew up in the orphanage. It was like a rare delicacy to her. Gotham's orphanages weren't the best when it came to taking care of kids.
"Oh my gosh...can I...can I have some?" She asked.
The receptionist nodded, pushing the bowl closer to her. Usually, she would be annoyed if someone was talking this much to her. But, y/n was actually really sweet and entertaining. Plus, she was extremely bored and got off work in a few minutes. Who cared, really?
"Have at it. You can take all of them if you want. I have to get new candy anyways." Amy said.
"No way! Are you serious! Like, for real!?"
"Yeah, help yourself."
Y/n didn't hesitate to grab a huge handful of the chocolates. Amy watched in amusement as y/n scooped the candy into her coat pocket. The door that led to the cubicles opened, and Edward stepped out. He was surprised to see y/n there because she was supposed to be at work still. But, then he remembered that she had the day off, so it made sense to him. His eyes landed on her hand in the candy jar and he looked at Amy. The receptionist had a dorky smile on her face.
"Eddie! Did you know they have chocolate here!? I can't even remember the last time I've had chocolate! Let alone see it!" She exclaimed.
Edward smiled awkwardly at Amy, stepping forward and grabbing y/n's hand. He propped his forearms up onto the counter as he looked at the receptionist. Y/n rested her head against his shoulder, getting the rest of the pieces of chocolate from the bowl and putting them in her pockets.
"Hey Amy, I know you're leaving soon, but could you do me a favor? Please?" He asked.
Amy smiled at the sight of Edward rubbing his thumbs over y/n's knuckles. She was a very romantic person and it warmed her heart to see the kind act. Plus, she had always been fond of Edward. People at work were far too mean to him when he was just a very kind person. She was glad to see that he had found happiness.
"Yeah, whaddya need?"
"Can you print out the files for the Wynn account? I would have printed them out myself, but I swear the printer in the copy room never has ink." He sighed.
"Yeah, no problem Ed."
Amy started to type on the keyboard, clicking with the mouse as she pulled up the files for the account. With another click, she had the papers printed out. Standing up from her chair, she walked over to the printer and waited for the pages to finish. Edward leaned over to his side, planting a kiss on y/n's head. She smiled, opening up one of the chocolate wrappers and popping the sweet treat in her mouth.
"Holy fuck this shit is so good!" She groaned.
Edward nudged her foot with his own. He had no problem with cussing, but they weren't really in an appropriate setting to cuss. She blushed, feeling embarrassed. Amy laughed, nodding her head as she attached the pages together with a paperclip and handed it to Edward.
"I know, that's kind of why I gave them all to you. If I eat anymore I swear I might pop." She joked.
"Thanks for the copies, Amy."
Edward nudged y/n again. Y/n knew what he was trying to communicate to her. She finished eating the chocolate as fast as she could.
"Thanks for the chocolate!" She smiled.
"No problem, you guys get home safe ok? I'll see you on Monday, Edward."
He walked towards the door, hand still entwined with y/n's as he waved to Amy. Y/n popped another chocolate in her mouth as Edward opened up the door.
"See you on Monday." He said.
The two of them walked out the door and made their way to the stairs. Y/n wanted to hop down over steps, but she held onto Edward's hand instead. She had missed him a lot all day. He looked over at her, seeing that she was eating another piece of chocolate. Shaking his head, he let out a breathy laugh.
"That was awfully nice of her to give you those chocolates. But, you know you can't eat them all tonight, right?" He asked.
Y/n looked at him, popping another chocolate in her mouth. He raised an eyebrow. She shrugged at him.
"Why not?" She asked.
"You're going to get extremely sick." He chuckled.
"That's a price I'm willing to pay." Y/n retorted.
"Oh yeah? Ok, well when you're puking later on I'll remind you that you said that." He rolled his eyes, opening up the front door to the building.
The two of them walked down to the subway, sitting on a bench and waiting for a train. Y/n dug into her bag with the hand that wasn't holding Edwards and grabbed her phone. She turned it on, put in her password, and showed it to Edward. He adjusted his glasses, looking at what was on the screen. He smiled when he realized what it was.
"There were two pigeons just hanging out outside of our apartment! It was so cute! Look, they're cuddling!" She said, shoving it in his face.
"Uh, well I can't really see it this close up." He said.
"Oh, yeah, oops." She said, pulling the phone away slightly.
"That's a cute picture though." He said, kissing her on the forehead.
The train arrived shortly after and the two of them got on it. Y/n yawned, using Edward's hand to cover her mouth as they both sat down. He smiled, letting go of her hand and placing it on her knee as he looked at his phone.
"You tired?" He asked.
The train started to move and Edward held onto her knee firmly so she didn't slide. He did that every single time. He would hold her hip and keep her close to him if they were standing and he would place his hand on her knee if they were sitting down. Edward was far from strong, but he did feel very protective over her. Living in Gotham was far from safe, so you always had to keep an eye out. But, no matter how many times he told that to y/n, she just couldn't seem to understand it. She was too friendly for her own good. So, he had to be extra careful for both of them. He did not consider himself to be a violent person, but if y/n was ever put in a bad situation, he was certain he would pulverize someone.
"A little, yeah..." She sighed.
"Well, maybe you should take a nap?" He suggested.
She nodded, yawning again as she laid on her side. Her head rested on his lap as she drew her knees to her chest. Edward smirked, amused at how eager she was to nap. He did not mean that she should nap at this very moment. But, as he saw her resting on his lap, he couldn't bring himself to move her. People were no doubt staring at the both of them, but he honestly did not care. Edward had seen far stranger things in Gotham's subways than someone taking a nap on someone's lap. He put his hand on her head, brushing his fingers through her hair as he went on his phone.
~
The train had stopped and the two of them had gotten off. Edward had to wake y/n up before that, and she was pretty grumpy. But, he told her that she could go right back to taking a nap when they got home. Just like he always did, he held onto her hand securely as they exited the subway station. Their apartment building was only a block away now. Y/n popped another piece of chocolate into her mouth, making Edward frown.
"Seriously, you should stop eating those. You're going to regret it later." He said.
"Are you threatening me, Edward Nashton?" She questioned.
"No, I'm just stating a fact. I know you. You like to eat a lot of candy, say that you'll be fine, and then you get really sick later on. Every. Single. Time."
"Ugh, fine. Whatever..." She grumbled.
He kissed her on the head.
"Thank you, sweetie."
Edward continued walking with her, but stopped when he felt his pocket was empty. Furrowing his eyebrows, he turned around. He groaned in irritation, looking back at y/n. He brought her over to the less crowded part of the sidewalk.
"I dropped my keys back there. Stay right here ok? I'll be right back." He said.
Y/n watched as he rounded the corner. But, as soon as he did that, people started walking towards her as well. She felt crowded and she pressed herself to the brick wall of the building. It was as if the wall of a dam broke and the water was flowing out rapidly. Her chest tightened and she felt her breathing pick up. It was a little sad how easily she got overwhelmed and anxious. But, to be fair, the streets of Gotham were overwhelming to almost everyone. She was just unable to process it alone. There was a reason she got a job at the closest place to their apartment. It was because she didn't want to have to take the subway or walk far. Only when it was absolutely necessary. She was trying to get better at it, but it took time. She felt like she was suffocating. She looked around, trying to find Edward. But, because of her spinning around, she got a little confused. The crowds of people made her feel like she was lost in a maze. Desperate to get out of the confining swarm of bodies, she ran into the nearest alley way. She panted, holding a hand over her heart as she tried to catch her breath. Being in that crowd reminded her of when she was with her parents. They would take her to 'crack houses', as they were both heavy addicts. They had no one else to watch her, so she had to tag along with them a lot. The houses were always so crowded and overwhelmed her. Often times, her parents would leave her alone in a room so they could shoot up in the other room. How polite...they didn't want their daughter seeing them get high. But, of course, they would bring her to a house full of drug addicts. There were so many times that she would almost step on or touch a needle. One of the people there even tried to get her to 'eat' a sliver of meth, telling her that it was candy. She didn't though. She was smarter than that.
"Y/n?! Y/n! Where are you?!" Edward called out.
She sunk down to her butt, bringing her knees up to her chest. When she got scared or was put into a scenario that reminded her of her traumatic childhood, she would regress. It was unpreventable. She could tell that it was happening, and that made her even more scared because she was out in the streets of Gotham while it was happening. She was so caught up in her emotions that she never even heard Edward call for her. Frantically, Edward came into the alley and looked around. His eyes widened as he saw y/n sitting on the ground. He was relieved to see her, but he was also worried. Walking over, he crouched down and placed a hand on her shoulder. She flinched, burying her head in between her knees. Just like she did in the orphanage. He gently embraced her in a hug, drawing her to his chest as he cradled her head.
"I was so scared when I couldn't find you..." He sighed.
"You let go of my hand!" She cried.
Edward felt a pang in his heart. She was right. That was a stupid thing that he did. He easily could have just brought her with him. Why didn't he? Even he didn't know. He helped her stand up, still holding her close to his chest. She sobbed into his shirt, gripping the fabric tightly. Edward scolded himself as he rubbed her back.
"I'm so sorry, baby. I don't know why I let go of you. It was really crowded today, and I know it scares you. But, I have you right now, ok? You're ok now." He cooed, planting a kiss on her head.
She didn't say anything. All she did was cry into his shirt. God, did that make him feel like a total piece of shit. Of course he didn't mean to scare her. He just wasn't thinking. Edward continued to rub her back as she cried. He could tell what was happening. She had gotten so overwhelmed and scared that she regressed to help herself calm down. It wasn't working that well, though. But, he was quick to help out.
"Sweet girl, I know that you're still shaken up, but we can't stay here all night. We need to get back home, ok?" He said.
"I don't want to go back out..." She hiccupped.
Edward pushed her away from the hug and crouched down. He looked up into her eyes as he held her hands in his own. Bringing them to his lips, he kissed them softly. His eyes were so kind and gentle behind his clear framed glasses.
"We have to baby. I promise I'll hold you the entire time."
She sniffled, wiping a few tears away that had trickled down her cheeks. Y/n looked out to the sidewalks. People still walked by, but it was less than before. She took a deep breath, letting it out through pursed lips. Edward tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
"When we get back home we can watch a movie or a show if you want. We can relax alllll day. Doesn't that sound nice?" Edward asked sweetly.
"Yeah..."
"Well, if you want to do that then we need to get home. So, can you go back out with me? I can't go out without you." He frowned.
"You ca-can't?" She asked.
"No way! I get scared out in the crowd too! I feel a lot better when you're holding my hand." Edward smiled.
This was partially true and also just something he said to encourage y/n. Edward was perfectly fine walking through the crowded sidewalks of Gotham. He did get overwhelmed sometimes and had to take a breather, but he was mostly fine. He only said that because he knew that it would make y/n want to go back out more. Edward felt that they would be safer out in the street than an alley way.
"O-Ok, let's go. But, don't let go of my hand!" She said.
Edward grabbed her hand tightly, holding it up so she could see it. She smiled as he pretended he was locking a padlock. He mimed the act of tossing the key away. Looking back to her he gave a goofy grin.
"It's locked. I couldn't even let go if I tried."
They walked back out onto the sidewalk, making their way towards the apartment quickly. Y/n looked at him and giggled.
"Well, how are you going to unlock it?" She asked.
As they walked, Edward patted himself down with his free hand. He looked in the pockets of his coat, the pockets of his pants, and he shrugged. But, he squinted at y/n. He tapped on her chin, motioning for her to open her mouth. He pretended to grab something off her tongue. He 'held' it up between his two fingers.
"Why were you trying to eat the spare key?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I did not! You're not even holding anything!" She laughed.
"Pfft, you're ruining the magic of it." He rolled his eyes.
Before they knew it, they arrived at the apartment building. Y/n sighed in relief as they stepped inside. The sound of the hustle and bustle outside was deafened as the door closed behind them. Edward, still holding her hand, led her up the stairs to the floor they lived on. He fumbled with the keys for a little bit, but he eventually unlocked the door and opened it up. Y/n let go of his hand as she walked inside, so she could hang up her coat. After that, she went to the couch and faceplanted on it. Edward chuckled, removing his shoes and locking the apartment door. Truth be told, he was completely exhausted from his day at work. His 'higher ups' were as ignorant and boastful as always. His job was easy to him, but the people he had to deal with made it difficult. However, y/n always kept him in a cheerful and positive mood. It was nice to be able to come home from work and spend time with his best friend/partner. Edward walked over to her, grabbing her feet to take her shoes off. Once he did that for her, he put them next to his. He could tell that she was still very tired, and no doubt still in a regressed state. Edward went to her coat, grabbing the chocolate out of the pocket before he forgot. Walking into the kitchen, he opened up the door to the freezer and put the chocolates inside of it. Chocolate was always better when it was cold.
"Do you want to watch a show or movie? Or do you want to take a nap?" He asked, going back towards her.
Y/n mumbled into the couch, nodding her head. Edward sighed, putting his hands in the pockets of his pants as he looked at her. She raised her hands up, shaking them frantically. He rolled his eyes playfully, he sat down on the long part of the 'L' couch. Groaning softly, he reached over and grabbed y/n, placing her on his other side so that she was wedged between him and the armrest of the couch. She buried her face in his chest, hiking her leg up over his waist. Edward reached over and grabbed a light blanket, draping it over y/n's body.
"You never gave me an answer, baby. Do you want to take a nap or watch something?" He asked..
"I wanna watch something." She mumbled, her cheek against his chest.
"Ok, well what did you have in mind?" He asked.
She shrugged her shoulders, snuggling up closer to him. He sighed, trailing his hand under the blanket to rub her back. Edward took her silence as a way to say she didn't really care what they watched. So, he decided to put on a 'Forensic Files'. How original. After placing the remote down on the side table next to the couch, he stroked y/n's hair. She sat up almost instantly afterwards. Edward looked at her, raising an eyebrow. Without saying a word, she went into their bedroom. Edward's hands were slightly in the air, like he was shocked.
"Um, what ever happened to saying bye?" He asked jokingly.
Y/n came back to the couch, cuddling up to Edward just like she did before. This time, she had her old bear from the orphanage with her. He smiled, watching as she turned to face the T.V, bear tucked under her arm, blanket covering her body, and her head resting on his chest. If someone told him 8 years ago that he would be in a relationship with someone like y/n, he would have called them crazy. But, here he was, holding her in his arms like she was the most precious thing in the world. They both had fucked up pasts, traumatic childhoods, and issues. But, they found comfort in each other's company. They could confide in each other without any judgment. Edward could not imagine him with anyone else than her. Neither could y/n. They only wanted to be with each other. No one would understand y/n quite like Edward did. And vice versa.
"Are you comfortable?" He asked.
She nodded.
"Mhm, super comfy."
"I'm glad, sweetheart."
Y/n smiled, getting up and sitting on his lap. Edward folded his hands together, fingers entwined and resting on his lower stomach. When y/n was coping, Edward made sure he didn't touch her in any way that could be sexual. He would cuddle with her, kiss her on the head or cheek, and let her sit on his lap if she really wanted to. But, he would never do anything other than those things. Sure, y/n sat on his lap a lot, especially when they were making out or having sex. But, there was a very big difference in the those two situations. When y/n and Edward were intimate, y/n would be very close to him on his lap. Their bodies would practically be glued to each other. It was clear that it was a heated and sexual gesture. But, when y/n was regressed, it was gentle. She wasn't up close to him, rather sitting in the space between his legs. Or, sometimes she would straddle the area where his knees were, that way it didn't resemble anything sexual. Y/n trusted Edward enough to be in a vulnerable state around him, and her trust was well placed. In fact, when y/n found herself regressing out in public, Edward was always quick to do what was necessary for the situation. Y/n didn't mind regressing in public, it just depended on where they were. If they were in a large setting, Edward would find a way to excuse themselves or leave the place quickly. If they were in a pretty 'relaxed' place, like an arcade, a mall, or a park, Edward would just help her through the regression. Y/n's regression was not noticeable to anyone except Edward, since he knew that she actually did it. To everyone else, it just looked like y/n was really energetic and clingy. Maybe a little bit childish too. One time when Edward and y/n were at the zoo, y/n ended up regressing. And, despite all the strange looks he received, he did not care. He was just focused on having a nice date with his girlfriend and letting her heal her inner child.
~
"Eddie! Look, they have flamingos!" Y/n squealed, grabbing him by his hand and dragging him to the exhibit.
Edward, who was looking at the Zebras, let out a little yelp. The tugging on his arm startled him. When y/n got excited, she got a sort of super-human strength. Not wanting his arm to rip off, he followed her in suite, stopping in front of the exhibit with her. She was practically bouncing on her heels. This was the first time she had ever been to the zoo, and it was Edward's first time as well. Edward was having fun, but he wasn't jumping up and down in excitement. Y/n on the other hand, quite literally was jumping up and down. He knew that she was going through her coping mechanism, no doubt having a fun time at the zoo. To be honest, that's why he wanted to take her to the zoo. He wanted to give her a fun experience that she never got as a kid. Edward held onto her hand gently, smiling at how happy she was. When he glanced around, he noticed people staring at her. It made him upset for sure. He didn't want y/n to see the looks people were giving her, so he decided to keep her occupied.
"You like them?" He asked, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles.
"Yeah! But, they aren't that pink..." She frowned.
He smirked, pushing up his glasses. With his free hand, he pointed at one of the smallest flamingos. Y/n followed the direction he was pointing at. She saw the young flamingo and looked up at him, eyes wide with wonder.
"Well, flamingos aren't born with pink feathers. They actually start off a pale grey." He said.
"Woah, really!?" She gasped.
He nodded.
"They get the pink color from eating carotenoids. That's where the pink hues come from. So, it's a little difficult for them to get bright pink, even though that's how we think they look like. You see that one? It's more red in color, right? Not one flamingo has the same shade." Edward explained.
Y/n looked up at him with a confused look. She understood most of what he was saying. But, she had no idea what a carotenoid was. Edward could see that she was puzzled, so he decided to explain a little more.
"They get the pink color from shrimp and crabs, stuff like that." He said simply.
"Oh! That makes sense!"
Without saying anything, she grabbed him by his arm once again and drug him away. He had no idea where they were going now, only that she was eager. Passerby's watched the couple with judgmental eyes, scoffing and mumbling things under their breath to themselves or the people next to them. Edward glared back at each and every one of them. They had no idea what was going on in their life. People were so quick to judge others. What made it worse, however, is that the happier someone was in public, the 'weirder' they were. That was what boggled Edward's mind. Someone could be having an amazing day, dancing in the park because maybe they got a promotion at work, or maybe they just felt happy for some reason. But, just because that person was dancing in the park, people would automatically think they were 'weird' or 'strange'. There was nothing wrong with being happy and expressing it in public. It didn't matter what age you were. Why should someone be forced to hide their emotions in public? It was stupid to Edward. And, in y/n's case, it was a coping mechanism for her. But, of course, these assholes didn't know that. If they did know, they would probably be more cruel to her for some strange reason. Edward hated people so much...for such an advanced society, humans sure as hell knew nothing about sympathy and kindness. He had seen wild animals be more caring than most humans.
"Where are we going now, sweetie?" He asked, maintaining his quick pace to keep up with her.
"Gift shopppp!!!" She squealed.
Edward rolled his eyes and chuckled. Of course they were going to the gift shop. Well, he did put aside some money for some souvenirs. After all, this was her first time at the zoo. He knew that she would want a couple (hundred) stuffed animals.
"Alright, alright, but let's slow down a bit, yeah? I don't want you to trip." He said.
Y/n nodded, slowing her pace. Smiling, he walked next to her as they went down the path to the gift shop. It was a surprisingly sunny day in Gotham, and Edward could see some redness forming on her cheeks, shoulders, and the tip of her nose. He furrowed his eyebrows.
"Y/n, you put on sunscreen like I told you to, right?" He asked.
She looked at him, eyes shifting around.
"Uh, yeah..." Y/n trailed.
Edward sighed as he stepped aside, pulling y/n with him. The two of them finally made it to the gift shop, standing in the shade the building provided. In classic Edward fashion, he removed the backpack he had on. Yes, he took a backpack to the zoo. What was it filled with? Oh, you know...
Sunscreen, band-aids, a metal water bottle, granola bars, sunglasses, etc...
"Y/n, you know better than to lie like that. And, you should have listened to me in the first place. Your poor skin is getting sunburnt." He scolded gently, setting the backpack on a bench next to him.
"Sorry...I forgot to put it on." She admitted.
"It's ok to forget things, sweetie. But, you know you shouldn't lie."
He sighed, pulling out the sunscreen.
"You're already sunburnt, but I'm still going to put some sunscreen on you." Edward said.
Y/n nodded, letting him apply the sunscreen onto his hands before rubbing it into her skin. He was such a worry wart. But, that's what made him a great boyfriend. Y/n never had to ask him to help her out with something, she never had to plan everything, she never had to remind Edward about what she liked and disliked. He would help her without being asked, plan dates with her, and Edward knew everything about her. He was the perfect boyfriend, and he loved her terribly.
"Oh you poor thing..." He mumbled to himself, able to see how sunburnt she really was.
She winced when he applied the sunscreen on her shoulders. Edward shook his head in disapproval. He knew that she forgot to put it on, that was ok. Honestly, he was just upset with himself for not checking before they entered the zoo. Gently, he rubbed some onto her cheeks and nose, closing the lid to the bottle afterwards. He looked down at his hands, grumbling as he rubbed the excess onto his own arms. He hated the texture of the rub-on sunscreen. But, this was the only one he had for some strange reason.
"Alright, you're ok now. But, it's going to hurt later on. Good thing we have that aloe vera plant back home, right?" He asked, kissing her on the head before grabbing her hand.
"Yeah, now let's go in the gift shop!" She exclaimed.
"More concerned about souvenirs than your own skin. That sounds like you." He smirked.
They spent about 15 minutes in that store. Y/n was so indecisive about what she wanted. She had asked Edward if they could just "get everything". He, very seriously, said "no". So in the end, after running around the store and receiving weird looks from parents with their children, she decided on getting two things. Edward was only going to let her get one thing, but he caved in. Y/n got a seagull stuffed animal, but she named it Flamingo. Edward found that to be very amusing, as she said it was because it looked more like a baby flamingo. He was proud that she was using his tidbit of information. The other thing she got, however, was a rat stuffed animal. Edward liked that very much. He loved rats, though the orphanage gave both y/n and Edward a horrible first experience with them. On a date, they had went to a pet store and asked to hold some of the rats, hoping it would help them get over their fear of them. And it worked. Now, Edward thought they were the cutest things. She named the rat stuffed animal Remy, like the one in Ratatouille. The two of them left the store, and y/n shoved Remy into Edward's chest.
"Hold him and pretend he's your child." She said.
Edward scoffed, cradling it in his arms.
"I don't have to pretend. He is my child." He retorted.
Y/n giggled, flapping the wings of Flamingo. Edward smiled, holding her hand with his free hand. He swung their arms back and forth as they walked down the dirt path.
"You want to get some ice cream?" He asked.
"YES!"
~
Edward shook himself out of his memories, glancing past y/n's head to watch the T.V. She didn't mind. Y/n knew he wasn't ignoring her, he would never ignore her. In fact, they were both sure it was impossible for him to do that.
"You wanna tell me about your day, sweet girl?" He asked.
"Um, well, I didn't really do much..." She mumbled, picking at the fuzz of the bear.
Edward raised an eyebrow, glancing at her briefly before looking back at the T.V.
"Oh come on, you must have done something while I was at work."
Y/n thought for a moment, reflecting on her day. She looked around the open apartment, glancing at the kitchen. Her gaze went back to Edward.
"Well, I did some chores!" Y/n smiled.
Edward looked at her, stroking her hair briefly. Again, he made sure not to touch her in any intimate way. A kind smile was on his face.
"That's great! I'm so proud of you, sweetheart. Did you do anything else?" He cooed.
"Uh, not really..." She blinked harshly.
Edward watched carefully as she got off of his lap, sitting on the couch. He let it play out, knowing what was going on. She was feeling better. She was feeling more secure. So, the age regression was not really necessary any longer. Sometimes y/n had control over when she did it, and sometimes she didn't. Edward had guessed that today was one of the times she couldn't control it. It wasn't like she became a totally different person in it, not at all. She just regressed to a younger age. She was still herself, though. Y/n stared at the T.V for a little while. Edward gave her time to adjust, smiling at her when she looked back at him.
"You let go of my hand, you fucker." She glared.
Edward groaned, throwing his head back on the couch. He threw up his hands in defeat. Y/n smiled as he covered his eyes with his palms.
"Oh for the love of..."
Y/n laughed, rolling her eyes as she cuddled up next to him. He smirked, hooking his arm over her shoulders. She could feel his heartbeat as her ear was against his chest. It rose and fell with every breath he took.
"I'm messing with you, babe. I know you didn't mean to." She said.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." He joked.
Edward held her close to him, planting a kiss on her cheek. Y/n hummed in peace as she closed her eyes. The sleepiness she felt earlier was creeping back into her body. But, a flapping noise caught her attention. She sat up instantly, grabbing the collar of Edward's shirt tightly, making his eyes widen in surprise.
"Jesus, I said I'm sorry!" He held up his hands in defense.
"What? No, not that! Shh!" Y/n whispered.
Edward went quiet, pausing the T.V. The two of them listened closely, the flapping noise was faint and muffled. Y/n's eyes lit up, poking Edward on the shoulder and motioning towards the window. His mouth formed an 'o' as he slowly got up from the couch. Y/n and him treaded silently toward the window, pulling aside the curtains and looking at the fire escape. Lo and behold, two pigeons sat on the metal landing, cuddled up next to each other. She looked at Edward, a huge grin on her face. He smiled, watching the pigeons as his dimples formed on his cheeks.
"That's so us." She whispered.
"100%." He agreed.
Y/n looked up at Edward from her crouched over position. Dramatically, she stood up and grabbed his hands. He raised an eyebrow as she took a deep breath.
"Edward...will you ruffle my feathers and feed me your hotdogs?" Y/n asked softly.
He let out a little laugh.
"I genuinely can't tell if you're trying to make a sexual innuendo, a romantic joke, or if you're being serious."
"All three." She replied quickly.
"Hmm, I'm a little busy today. I can ruffle your feathers on Sunday, but the hotdog feeding will have to wait till Tuesday." He tutted, looking down at his watch.
"What's more important than ruffling my feathers and feeding me a hotdog?" She asked, a hand on her hip.
He scoffed, motioning towards the T.V. Replicating her sassiness, he placed a hand on his hip as well. God, he looked like a total nerd. It was adorable.
"Um, obviously binge watching an entire season of Forensic Files with my girlfriend. Which is you, by the way." He added at the end, cupping his mouth with his hand.
"Oh, that does sound pretty important. Man, that's really conflicting...all of those options sound so good." She sighed, tapping her foot on the ground.
"Can't decide, huh?" He asked.
She shook her head. Shrugging his shoulders, he lunged forward and grabbed her by the hips. With a lift of his knees, he slung y/n over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Y/n squealed, playfully hitting his back with her fists. Her legs flailed slightly as well.
"Edward Nashton! You put me down this instant!" Y/n ordered.
He walked over to the couch, sitting down on the long part of it as he spread open his legs slightly. Edward laid y/n between that space so she was facing the T.V. She turned her head to face him, eyes glaring hard. He pressed play, placing the remote back down as he widened his eyes at her in a playfully challenging way.
"There. I decided for you." He said, kissing her on the lips.
"Pfft, you're lucky you're a cutie." Y/n scoffed.
He chuckled, rubbing her arms as he watched the show. Y/n sighed happily, resting her head against his chest. Edward leaned down to her ear, whispering in it.
"Do you want pizza for dinner?"
"Edward, if you get pizza, you're forgiven of all your past transgressions."
"We also have ice cream in the freezer for dessert." He added.
"I think I love you." She said.
"Wow, that's pretty cool. It's almost like we've been best friends for nearly 9 years and are dating each other." He said, dialing the pizza place on his phone.
"Yeah, some corny rom-com bullshit like that." Y/n yawned, watching the T.V.
"Like Pretty Woman?" He asked.
"Well, I'm not a sex worker. So, not really."
"13 Going On 30?"
"Edward, we're not 30. And, I did not get covered in magical glitter as a 13 year old. So, again, a no. Although, I do love that movie." She chuckled.
"Clueless?"
"Fuck I love that movie too. Still doesn't apply though. Are you just listing all the rom-coms you know?" Y/n asked, turning around to face him with an eyebrow raised.
He looked at her silently for a moment. His eyes narrowed in thought. Slowly, he brought his hand up, pointing at her.
"I've got it! 50 Shades of Grey."
"Edward, I swear I'm going to choke you."
"See! We're already relating to the movie!" He smiled.
"EDWA-"
He covered her mouth as the call started. Y/n bit his hand the entire time he placed the order, making him look at her in confusion and amusement. Once he hung up, he removed his hand from over her mouth.
"My hand is not food."
"It's not a gag either." She retorted.
"You're making us sound more and more like 50 Shades of Grey." Edward chuckled.
"Well, you're not a rich dude who made me sign a sex contract. Thank God for that."
"Whatever. I know what rom-com we are." He stated proudly.
"Oh really? What?" Y/n asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
"The Office. You're Pam. I'm Jim." He said, doing finger guns at her.
"Edward...that's...literally the most perfect answer. Not really a rom-com, but it's a great answer. I also would have accepted Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich from My Little Pony."
"Shit, that's a good answer too. Weird Al and My Little Pony was one of the greatest crossovers in history. Along with Lady Gaga in the show as well." He admitted.
"This. This is exactly why I'm dating you. You get me." She said, poking the tip of his nose.
"They also had a Walter White crossover in the show. That was fucking awesome." He chuckled.
"Holy shit, I forgot about that! Bless My Little Pony. Bless Breaking Bad." Y/n fake prayed.
"Do you think Walter and Jesse explored each other's bodies?" He asked.
"Christ, Edward what the hell?"
Sighing, she stood up and started to walk away from the couch. Edward lurched forward and grabbed her hips, pulling her back onto his lap.
"Nah uh, you're not going anywhere!" He said, attacking her neck with kisses.
"Let me go you psychopath!" She squealed.
"Not until you give me your answer!" He said, kissing all over her face and neck.
"IT'S OBVIOUSLY A YES!"
He pulled away, looking at her with wide eyes.
"Obviously! There was sexual tension and it was heavy." He stated.
"Honestly, I don't blame Walter. If I was around that fucking...meth head, homeless looking...oh boy..." She shook her head.
"Oh? Do I need to be worried?" He asked cautiously.
"No, I'd just simply slap him around, waterboard him, and then give him a big ol' kiss." She shrugged.
"Hmm, ok. Well, that's totally normal. How about we never let you near any water while around me?" He suggested.
"I'm not going to waterboard you, Edward." She scoffed.
"Well, that's a relief. You're still a little weird for wanting to slap him around though." He added.
"That's funny coming from you seeing as how last night yo-"
"Ok, yeah haha very funny. Shhh." He teased, kissing her on the forehead.
"Mhm, that's what I thought."
"Yeah, you're real clever. Now, let's watch Forensic Files." He chuckled, stroking her hair.
~
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