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#im gonna try to focus on writing for now tho
cryptocism · 3 months
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i started this a year ago for fun and then forgot about it for several months, but after many hours the cleans are done!
character animation for Frequency
music is Smokey Eyes by Lincoln
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opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months
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...
#well. today was a nice day of not doing anything but drawing really. theres an au where i went to art school and am a happier person lol#except not really bc im sure my head would ruin that too. anyway. its a shame i have to return to the pain tomorrow. i have so much to grade#plus a paper to write plus data to work with. a protocol to figure out. and an exam to study for and a final project thatll kill me#god. i also have to get ready for lab Monday. christ. and what shall i say to my therapist Tuesday? well we could try to tackle the deep set#looming issue that prevents me from getting better in our tiny 50min session or i could be like listen. just fucking listen. let me give u#the case 4 and against me having adhd so i can stop feeling fucking nuts. just like give me feedback. ya kno?#it would b inattentive bc im not hyper unless im losing my mind and bordering on hyp0mania. but my focus is something i cant control#executive functioning has always been a problem but now im so worn down im in danger of actual consequences. and its not just things i dont#wanna do. im not just anxiously avoiding. i cant start tasks and stick with them. i flip back and forth and get nothing done. i spiral#sometimes for hours. im not doing anything fun im just not doing anything. frozen in anguish. i dont even wanna think abt how much money ive#lost by not filling out reimbursement sheets which arent hard to do. theyre easy i just never do them. why??? i dont fucking kno. but im not#forgetful. im thinking constantly abt these things. i just cant make them happen. theyre stuck buffering. i do have memory issues tho#my short term working memory is like that of a literal child. so i cant follow complex instructions. i constantly need new info. constantly#need sound. spoken words plus music at the same time. but the main reason i need an answer to this is the reading issue. which is that im#dyslexic but also my thoughts r like an interfering frequency. without realizing ill b thinking and not reading. its a problem no matter#what im reading. its severely disruptive. i will physically read out loud to try to hold my attention in place and still get distracted by#my own head. do u kno how frustrating it is to read something aloud 3 times and not know wtf u just read bc u arent thinking abt anything#interesting u would rsther b reading but u can't fucking pay attention long enough. genuinely if its not adhd and i cant get medication to#fix my focus issues i dont kno wtf im gonna do. im so bad at reading and its extremely frustrating. but is it just dyslexia? idk what i#described doesn't fucking seem normal or like a reading problem. sounds like a focus issue. so riddle me that#idk ive got adhd on both sides of my family plus my focus fluctuates with ny hormones plus homones possibly induce hyp0mania. like i mean#ive got other issues which make a diagnosis difficult to parse but like i feel like that's decent evidence for possibly adhd? my friend said#she was always worried she had a brain tumor before she was diagnosed. to me ive always felt like my brain is full of holes. im missing the#parts that would let it operate correctly. the frontal lobe is just fucked. ugh. i wonder how much accommodation i could get from the#disability office if i actually went to them. i wont bc im fucked up and i dont think they could actually do anything for me at this stage#but alas im curious. ugh. y do i do this to myself? i kno y but not enough time for that in 50min. bad attitude mostly. half my brain#just craves death. the other half is just trying to tread water but its hard with someone trying to drown u. so its all fucked#unrelated
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cerealmonster15 · 1 year
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this is def a situation where having the fic in wip state for so long i think is hindering me bc now i really cant tell if pacing is bad because it needs more work or bc ive reread the same thing 900 times
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loverboybitch · 1 year
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𓆩♡𓆪 crazy that there are infinities inside me for real.//.
#imjustsittinghere#my friend texted me from berlin right now just like#he said all the outfits hes seen so far are crazy and that id love it there#he said its montreal if montreal was serious lol#literally how i was like maybe ill move tomontreal or berlin like. if that isnt serendipitous#gonna make my way there one day i swear#maybe ill actually make a plan for next year#think i might try to spend some time in malta maybe meet up with some friends in berlin? would be kind of cool for like a week or something#spend a month in malta if i can maybe?#ideally if i could get someone to sublet my room in toronto that would be perfect so i wouldnt waste all my rent money#but if i hold onto my job i can bring my laptop there and work a couple shifts so its not like a complete write off u know?#maybe next fall...thatd be the fun time to go i think anyway n gives me a lot of time to save up#if i can stop myself from spending money on clothes i could fr do it lol#jus gotta focus on making my own#n i just got a brand new dope ass hoodie so im satiated for now#extremly jealous tho my friends are in berlin rn and going to paris for a couple days#going montreal at least tho next weekend with some other friends n going skiing n probably to a cool skate bar#at least thats hype <3#on my evil villain arc which really just means im trying to be less scared and follow my dreams a little#hope it works : )#really do love the whole my boss said i look like a villain thing tho im latching onto that heavy#kind of been playing with this creative space/idea of embracing the lil demon imp that lives in me so it just seems very timely and fitting#jsut really identifying with the word imp idk more on that later
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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do i grow my twitter or my tumblr first hmm
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tearfest · 10 days
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an update again
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nekassvariigs · 1 year
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I saw someone having a post mentioning if a character from one piece would be certain about age gaps so here i am in a silly goffy mood.
ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー
Idea: Waking up/Walking around not realising youre wearing a shirt saying "Dilf patrol" and going out on the ship/certain places causing some interesting conversations.
Raighley, Shanks, Mihawk, Law, Kid, Doflamingo
Special addition: Bepo for cuteness
I know kid and law arent dilfs but theyre fun to write
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Kid
Way too busy to notice it at first until someone points it out.
Hes flabbergasted.
"Into experianced men huh?" he comments brows furrowed in question.
It took you a while to register.
"I know i dont qualify as one but give me a few years."
You couldnt be more embarrassed, not to say anytime he asks you to stand on lookout he'll yell "DILF PARTROL" full blast embarrassing you each time.
If hes into you he'll paint over one of his shirts the words "certified dilf" while working on his gagets. If you catch him in the act give him a sly smirk and run for your goddamn life.
However if you both happen to wear it at the same time again its now your turn to shout over the entire ship "DILF SPOTTED" the moment you see him. You'll distract him so horredusly he wont be able to unhear it for the next week.
At some point you both take a picture, altough the main focus is you zooming in on his tits where the label he drew on was.
"Let me see the photo."
You show it to him proudly and prepare for self defense.
"You little shit." hed scoff ,however his ego was lifted that hed certified dilf material.
Doflamingo
This pink flamingo has been walking around you all morning trying to be subtle.
It was getting on your nerves.
"Can you ATLEAST pretend that your subtle, Youre like 10 meters tall dude you wear a PINK FEATHER COAT."
"So?" He picks his teeth with a toothpick.
"Why are you following me?"
"Your shirt."
"What about it?" you get more annoyed by the second.
"Not your dresscode madamoiselle?" you give him a fake smile with your eyes.
"Ha..Hahaha..HAHAHAHA, i must send this to the navy." He takes a photo.
"Fuck do you mean send it to the navy?!"
"Look, i can already hear "it's the dilf parol woman" with your face plastered all over it."
Oh he really was pushing it huh.
With a loud FWAP the shirt lands flat on his face right on the centered plastered with the writing.
"I think they'd like this one better."
You show him the picutre. There he is this wooden shelf for a man in his pink ridicilous coat with his face covered in a shirt thats says "Dilf patrol" boldly.
"My ass im gonna let you have your way with it."
Onsues a battle between two idiots.
Nearing your defeat you splur out "Y'know if you had a kid you'd qualify for it."
"Huh- Yeah right."
"Im dead serious."
"..."
"Time to take one for the team." He said confidently.
Raighley
Usually you stay over at Shakky's rip-off bar having known the owners well half owner Raighley. You never managed to catch his wife on time however, she was always out so one good day you treated yourself to a hands on barman experiance pouring yourself a drink, mind you its late so its okay.
Whilst mixing your drink you hear the front door open Raigley in sight he catches a seat.
"One whiskey on the rocks ma'am." he gets cozy until seeing you prepare your drink. You shake the mixture the tshirt you wore frurrowing all sorts of ways.
"?" He sees something written on it.. not fully tho, so he'll take a another peek in a bit.
Your drink made, you start his grabbing some ice and whiskey for the foxy man.
"Here ya go~" you happily chirped at him offering his drink.
It wasnt until you were mid drink he said "Say would i qualify as a dilf?"
ah the burning sensation of choking on alcohol.
"What?" you ask him barely able to breathe.
"You know, I mean not to shoot myself in the foot i do happen to look good for my age." he takes a swig of his drink calmly.
"F-First off, where is this coming from? Second off what!?" You stutter, Raighley barely dared being so cocky, and now all of a sudden this!? Did he hit his head?
He doubles the K.O pointing to your shirt at which you stare down, immidiatley embarrased for showing your interest in older men un such a dumb way.
Cheeks blazing you admit defeat, giving him a thumb up weakly.
"You're overqualifed.."
"That so?" He smirks hand on his beard in question.
Now confidently you humm altough your legs were giving out.
Who woulda thought you had one of the hottest man, not to mention the most humble one around teasing you like this when youre compleatley unprepared.
[continuation awaits ( ̄^ ̄)ゞ]
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Law
Poor guy was hoping to eat his meal in peace when you come in theough blazing the words dilf patrol on your shirt.
He literrally chokes.
"You alright capitan?" you ask him.
He swallows dryly, "Yeah..." he stares at you, then at the writing, then at you,the writing and at you for the last time.
"Y/n-ya, You know our crew mostly has guys around the age of 20, right?"
"Riight.. , point being?" you curiously ask.
"Point is WHO ARE YOU PATROLING FOR?!" Not gonna lie he was determined to know.
"!!?" Shocks sets in as you realize what youre wearing.
"Haha oh this thing, well you know give it a few years everyone will be aprooved, even you Law." you chuckle lips pointing in a whistle like manner.
He mentally stopped until he lowered his cow-print hat lower over his face, continuing eating without furter comments.
Hoo... Oh my.
"C-Capitans blushing!" Bepo alerts everyone in the dining hall. Startling you and Law himself.
"Was not, shut up!"
"I'm sorry!" he bows apologizing.
"Well in anycase we have time dont we?" You chuckle pouring yourself some tea.
Few meters behind you you hear more bickering about "Dont joke about this!" et cetera.
Mihawk
The silent man was trying to enjoy a morning newspaper till perona started babling to him about you.
"Whats the issue?" the blandly replies.
"Have you seen what shes wearing its not cute at all!" she pouts pointing to you , a pastry in your mouth the shirt revealing the writing.
Lightning stuck in his head.
"We all have preferances.."
He didnt want to even think about it.
"Thats right, we all have preferances" you pouted back disagreeing with her.
"Of all things you choose old hot guys seriously!? Pick something cuter next time!"
Bwaaa~ You drop your pastry.
"Who says i like old hot guys?"
"Your shirt says.." He nonchalantly interrupted.
"Ah so it does, WHAT?!" You strech out your shirt noticing the writing 'Dilf patrol'
"As long as she can handle it, i see no issue." He adds in.
Your jaw dropping, how can he be so relaxed about this.
"Stop embarrasing her old man-"
The bell dings in everyones head striking a nerve.
Everyone locks eyes.
Silence follows.
It was the tensest breakfast youve ever had with the two of them.
After breakfast you chose to clean the dishes upon hearing a knock.
"Not my buisness, but good choise." And he leaves just like that.
No dishes were washed for the next 30 minutes out of sheer incapability to understand his approval.
Shanks
All bark all bite he doesnt hold back.
He digs the shirt, calls it trendy,odd but trendy, hes seen worse.
"Y/n, i qualify."
"For what?"
"You can count me as a dilf, no?"
Your brain shortcircuts.
"Well.." You eye him up and down making him wait impatiently.
"I mean sorta? Youre not really the hot DAD material are you? "
"I can be though." he shoots you a grin.
"Caaan you?" you hiss back at him.
"Wanna seee for yourselllf?"
[Continuation awaits ( ̄^ ̄)ゞ]
Bepo!
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You had just woken up having no actual shirt to wear from your regulars you scramped one from the dryer. You didnt even bother to check which one it was you had agreed to train with bepo.
"Goodmornin'. " Hes as polite as ever.
"Mornin' bepo, lets start some warm ups?"
You both proceed to train along eachother however the longer it lasted the more people gathered around you two.
"Whats this about?" You question wiping the sweat off your forehead with your shirt.
"Mm Maybe because youre wearing that today?" ,his fluffy paw points to your shirt.
Every guy in a 10 meter radius was giving you thumbs up making you red as a raindeers nose.
"Y/n, whats a dilf anyways? Some new monester out there?" He innocently asks
"Haha y-no?, Do you wanna know?"
He nodds.
"Well its a preferance for older attractive looking men that have kids or had kids who grew up."
"So.. Do you like ..." he was deep in thought..
He didnt know what to ask.
"Ah mabye Vice capitan Ben?"
Pffttjfjfhdha
"Dont think hes got kids, but hes attractive so i approve." You wipe ur nose at the thought.
Next day Bepo shows around with a shirt labeled
"Shaved ice patrol."
What an innocent creature..
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lovedrruunk · 27 days
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i love love your work!! im literally obsessed with venture like its actually crazy 😭😭 but anyways i was wondering if i can request venture teaching us how to use their drill? you dont have to do this but i think its a cute idea :3 also is it okay to reblog your work?? thank you have a nice day!!! <3
'Drill tutorial! (Gone wrong)(Gone gay) (dont try at home)
Venture (Overwatch x reader) omfg...
[Established relationship!]
Authors note [ ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ ]✧!!! SO INCREDIBLY REALLLLL like ive been playing JUST to see and hear their voice... ALSO ik i said i was gonna focus on my schoolwork but this request was actually just so cute i ignored everything to write this... TYSM for it!!! oh also ofc its okay to reblog!! i rlly appreciate it !!! <33333 ALSO ALSOOO I think ill just gonna stick to making drabbles ! if its not enough u could ask for a pt 2 tho!
You and Venture had been hanging out as they were back home for the week when they noticed you eyeing their drill. They didn’t say anything about it until the third time they caught you looking at it curiously. That’s when they flat out asked you if you wanted to try holding it. Even though you really wanted to, you denied their offer, scared something could go wrong. But with a bit of convincing, you agreed.
“It’s completely safe, you have nothing to worry about, trust me!!”
“There’s like... three warning stickers…”
“For decoration! ദ്ദി(>ᴗ•)”
So now here you were in the middle of the living room with Venture hovering behind you, helping you get the hang of it. The drill felt heavy in your hands, making you wonder how they used it so effortlessly when on missions.
“And then you put your other hand over here…” Their hands rested against yours, guiding them to the handles.
“Yeah, that's right! You’re a natural!” They exclaimed, leaning over your shoulder to look you in the eyes. Your eyes met, and just as you were about to smile back, the drill suddenly jerks forward, pulling you both with it as you were still holding on. The whirring noise turned into a high-pitched screech as it spun out of control. It flew straight into the glass coffee table, shattering it completely. On instinct, you let go, making it fall to the ground, creating a dent in the wooden floor.
The room fell silent as you and Venture froze in place staring at the mess. Slowly, you both snap out of it, looking at each other before bursting into little giggles that quickly evolved into full-blown laughter.
“Well... safe enough,” Venture says after catching their breath. Trying to suppress a laugh, they glance at you, placing a kiss on your cheek.
"I'll get the broom!”
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1427 · 2 months
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When the Levee Breaks (pt. 5)
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Daryl Dixon x OFC
Story Summary: The one in which a stripper that used to know Merle and Daryl shows up at the Atlanta camp. Daryl’s feelings are complicated but mostly he hates her, right?
Chapt Setting: The Farm/Woods
Chapt Warnings: pretty explicit drug use (meth), season 2 Daryl, degrading/sexist language (he’s starting to get better lol), SOPHIA CHAPTER (I think that deserves a warning)
Word Count: 2.7k
A/N: Daryl’s POV story. Daryl’s starting to be less of a dick, trying really hard to make it feel organic/make it make sense in the story. Idk. This chapter was really rough to write because… it made me sad. Also have no idea if it even makes sense (the hallucination bit, really hope it does) lol ALSO; I looked up some timeline stuff and i just?? Really thought Daryl was out there for days on his own? But apparently he wasn’t? We’re just gonna say that he is in this story. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I can only do so much when the timeline of TWD is fucking stupid sometimes. (I mean it. Come for me. Idc. Rick was in a coma for 59 days without food or water???!?!!!? Bye)
masterlist
17+ mdni (no smut in this one tho sorry)
Like fiberglass in my veins, it tears through me. Mellow, at first, almost think I should rail more before I can feel myself sweatin’. Different kinda sweat, comin’ from my fuckin’ soul. 
Haven’t felt like I was doin’ something ‘wrong’ since I was little. That feeling that ch’ya get when you’re doin’ somethin’ ya know you’re not s’possed to. This ain’t the first time I done spazz, but maybe it’ll be the last. The anxiety about doin’ it goes away the second I feel the devil kick me through my nose to the back of my brain. Even though I know it’s comin’, it always feels like gettin’ skullfucked by satan. 
Been out here for a day. I brought Merle’s shit with me because I decided to finally get rid of it somewhere. But I got somethin’ that needs doin’. And anyway, I got years of experience with ice. Not doin’ it. Sometimes doin’ it. Never let Merle know, he’d’ve made some big whoop ‘bout it. And everytime he’d gone and done more than he remembered, he woulda blamed me. Shit though, sometimes it was. 
M’not like Merle and Beatle. Ain’t an addict. Can do shit and put it down. Always been able to put it down. Figured other people could too, that they just didn’t wanna. ‘m not sure, but still kinda think that. 
Never felt fuckin’ guilty about it before, though. Fuckin’ Beatle. I’unno if it’s cuz I’d be done with her if she did the same shit, or if it’s cuz I know if she knew that I was - she’d be mad at me. Mad I didn’t invite ‘er. 
But this shit ain’t for fuckin’ playtime. Only reason ‘m even doin’ it i’so I can find Sophia. So I can stay awake, focus, and get ‘er back. They use ta use this shit in war. War’s the reason methamphetamines even exist. Nazi’s? Hell, every single one of ‘em in WWII. Kamikazi’s loaded up, totally fuckin’ wasted outta their minds on crystal while they bolted ‘em in. Kept ‘em awake, kept ‘em happy, kept ‘em focused on the mission. Tha’s what I gotta do. 
I can’t stop lookin’ til I find ‘er. Sophia. ‘m the only one that can, only one that knows how. And anymore, ‘m the only one that seems to give a shit. ‘Sides Carol. And Beatle. She wanted ta come. Told her she’d only slow me down. Distract me. Drawn more geeks. She woulda. Told her I didn’t need food either but she packed me some anyway. Knew I wasn’t gonna be hungry. Knew I was gonna use this dumb shit to help. But whatever. 
Doesn’t matter what happens to me, right? My life’s not worth nothin’, not compared to that little girl. Now that her old man’s outta the picture she actually got a chance. Maybe not mucha one, not the way shit is these days. But she got ‘er mom. And ‘er mom can actually be ‘er mom now. Not scared of some piece’a shit prick that finally got what was comin’ to ‘im. 
Man fuck that guy.
The trail I’m followin’ disappears so I backtrack to the mangroves where I found her doll and try to find another one. 
I start to wonder what kinda old man Beatle had. What kinda mom? Startin’ ta realize I don’t know a damn thing about Beatle. I know she likes drinkin’, she likes laughin’, she likes fuckin’ with me. But… 
Beatle keeps surprisin’ me. Not just because she let me hump her face a few days ago, the fact that she liked it, shit I haven’t even had a second to process that. Nah, more cuz she hasn’t brought it up. Hasn’t tried to hold my hand again. Hasn’t been annoyin’ me nearly as much. Not even at all, if ‘m honest. 
My brain’s goin’ a million miles a fuckin’ second over Beatle and what happened between us. Not just the other night, but back then. Got questions that need answerin’ but she ain’t here. Try to keep myself occupied with trackin’ but it ain’t like trackin’ takes much thinkin’. Follow every trail I pick up, but none of ‘em lead me to Sophia. 
I’d prob’ly start gettin’ really frustrated about this, but that’s what crystals good for. All the dopamine I need, and nothin’s annoyin’. Focus.
✨🏹 
Bent branches, wilted leaves, mud impressions, walker guts. Trees and rocks and blood and mud and dirt and greens and browns and reds and blacks. And it’s dark and it’s light and it’s dark. And it smells fuckin’ rotten. Bent branches, wilted leaves, another trail, another dead end, another undead shithead. Bent branches, wilted leaves, mud impressions, Beatle. 
How many times did I go into Merle’s bag and take the devils dick up my nose? Cuz Beatle’s standin’ here right in front of me. ‘Cept she’s all done up in makeup and glitter and her pupils are the size of dimes. Little pink crop top, tiniest pair’a daisy dukes I ever seen. ‘n she’s in my face sayin’ the shit I been thinkin’ about her sayin’ since that day she said it. 
“I like you, Dar.” 
“You like bein’ fucked up more.” I say it like I said it the last time. 
“That’s not true! I mean - I like you, Daryl.” She steps closer, tries to put her hand on my cheek before I brush her off. She slumps back a little, turning away. “You like me, too. You said it.” 
My hearts in my fuckin’ throat and I’m standin’ there, this can’t be fuckin’ happening. I know is’not but doesn’t make it feel any less real. “Tha’ was before I really knew ya, Beatle.” 
Hate that I said that to ‘er. Did I really say that? Cuz maybe that’s how I felt. Hell, maybe that’s how I felt last week. But it ain’t fair. I don’t know her. Still. Now. Don’t know ‘er at all. Thought I did. Thought I understood what kinda girl did those kindsa things. Is that really what I said? Fuck.
She’s still turned away from me, but I walk the half circle around to look at her face. And she’s sobbing. Silently, trying to stay as still as possible. I… I don’t remember this part. Maybe I didn’t see it? Nah, I saw it. Just didn’t care. Didn’t wanna look at ‘er. Didn’t want to hear her lame ass confession. Especially after she’d brought up that I told ‘er I liked ‘er. She sniffles and wipes her face before she pulls a bubble pipe out of the waistband of her shorts and lights the bottom, starts smokin’ it. She asks if I want a hit, like last time. 
I go to say no, but the words don’t come out. Instead my hand reaches for it. I look back up and Beatle’s dressed all different. Baggy jeans and a bikini top. That night. Fuck. Shit. I don’t want to relive that night. 
“I promise, I won’t tell Merle.” She says, handing me her lighter. And I smoke it. Inhaling the vapor slowly like she had. “You gotta sip at it, like it’s a coffee and you’re drinking the air to see if it’s still too hot. Roll the bowl or it will burn.” I do it the way she says. She’s like ten years younger than me, but she looks at me - talks to me like it don’t matter. Like she don’t see it that way. Guess I don’t either, never really did. 
I’d never wanted to smoke it before. But that night I wanted to. With her. Woulda done anything she’d asked that night ‘fore she ruined it. I ruined it. Til it got all fucked up an’ it was never the same again. Not the way I saw her, not the way she looked at me. 
I’m goin’ through memories like they’re happening all over again. Feelin’ fuckin’ sick. I don’t wanna remember this. 
I hand the pipe back to her and she asks, “How do you feel?” 
“Fine.” 
“Just fine?” She smiles. 
“Good.” I clarify. 
“Good.” 
Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say it. “I think I like you, Beatle.” 
She laughs too hard, “you think?” I feel myself getting sicker and angry again all at once. 
I split in half. One half feelin’ those same feelings I felt. That this conceited fuckin’ bitch really acts like everyone likes her. I hear her words and it sounds like she’s sayin’ ‘well obviously’ - but the other halfa me hears it like a real question. Like she wanted ta know what I meant. I don’t remember how I responded then, but I can hear myself say it, “Self-obsessed cunt.” 
Beatle laughs, “Is that what you like about me?” 
My misunderstanding continues; Thought she was pickin’ on me. Makin’ funna me. All these years. All this time. Thought she was fuckin’ laughin’ at me. Never told a girl I liked her. Not that I never did like one, just never told ‘em. Not like some teenage fuckin’ confessional. And I do and what?  she just laughs.  
Shit. 
Cuz inside ‘m screaming. Screamin’ at myself ta say somethin’ different. To jus’ tell her. She’s special, she’s exciting, and when she smiles at the shit I say it makes me feel like I’m the only one in the fuckin’ world to her. Tha’s what she wants ta here. Tha’s why she’s askin’. 
“Nah. Forget it.” She nods, and I thought she did forget it.  She forgot until she brings it up again in the memory I already re-lived. 
Tha’s how I was so damn sure she didn’t give a single shit about if I liked her or not. Didn’t bring it up again for months. Didn’t give a single shit about me at all. Felt stupid for ever thinkin’ she might. Just a dumb crush on a dumb girl, and I forgot everything about it. An’ every little thing she did that made me like ‘er ended up as somethin’ else I hated.  And every time I saw her after that she was fucked up on somethin’. Meth or booze or weed. Usually all three. 
It comes at me like a fuckin’ freight train, her lips crashing into mine, but this time I want it. Don’t wanna stop kissin’ ‘er. Instead my arms move and I push her down to the ground. She’s wearing the crop top again, can tell she’d been cryin’. She’s layin’ there in the rocks lookin’ up at me and I flash back to the living room where this happened, where she’d told me she liked me back. I wanna beat the shit outta myself for makin’ her look like that. 
How didn’t I see it? 
I did see it. I just didn’t care. Thought I knew what kinda girl did those kinds’a things. 
Wonderin’ what kind of old man she had. What kinda boyfriends before she met me. How maybe she’s just as fuckin’ scared’a feelin’ stuff as I am. How maybe it took her months to even get up the courage to tell me after I’d told ‘er never mind and slowly started to hate her. How many’a those drinks were for courage? How many’a those hits were cuz she was nervous?
Shit. 
And she’s runnin’ away like she did then. Away from me an’ outta my life until a few weeks ago. I know it ain’t real but I run after her anyway. Screamin’ her name into the open air like maybe somehow I can change it if I can get her to come back. But she’s gone and ‘m still running tryin’ to find her. Screaming for her ‘til my throats hoarse. 
‘Til the walkers hear me. 
✨🏹
Andrea fuckin’ shot me. What is wrong with this fuckin’ group?
✨🏹
Beatle’s in the bedroom with me but I can’t look at ‘er. Don’t wanna. Feels like she knows what I was doin’ out in them woods without ‘er. Like she can see the dirty shit in my soul and for some reason it makes me ill. Can’t look at ‘er. Knowin’ I hurt ‘er like that all that time ago. Knowin’ it now like I ain’t ever known anything else. 
It’s just me ‘n her and she doesn’t try to talk to me. Just lets me lay there hatin’ myself for all of it. Didn’t even find Sophia. 
Spent a lot of my days in my life hatin’ myself. Thinkin’ I was good for nothin’. Now ‘m sure of it. 
I feel the bed move under the weight of her. She hugs herself around me, and like some pathetic kid I fuckin’ cry. Don’t know if she can tell or not but she tries comforting me anyway. “It’s okay, Dar. You did your best.” Her voice… how could I have ever thought it was annoying? Her bein’ so nice just makes me hate myself more. 
“Lea‘me alone, Beatle.” Shakin’ her arm out from around me. She gets off the bed and sits back in the chair she’d been in. God, I fuckin’ hate myself. Wanna scream No, come back. I didn’t mean it. 
Still got question’s that need answerin’. This time Beatles right here, and I ain’t got nothin’ to lose. “Why were you naked in Merle’s room?” Grateful that she’s sittin’ behind me. Don’t think I could talk to ‘er ‘bout this stuff if she was lookin’ at me. Right now? If I saw her face? Don’t think I could talk at all. 
She laughs. Fuck her stupid fuckin’ laugh. “I still can’t believe you think I fucked around with Merle.” 
“Why not? Y’all hung out every other day.” My voice is sharp, feels like she’s laughin’ at me again. Always feels like everyone’s laughin’ at me. 
“We all hung out every other day, Dar.” 
“Stop callin’ me tha’.” 
“I was carpet surfing. Your dumbass brother spilled all the schkag all over the damn place.” 
Oh…. But, “Ya didn’t have any clothes on.” 
“I never had any clothes on, Daryl. You sure I wasn’t just wearing something ‘slutty’? You know, like you always said I was? Cuz I don’t remember, but I’ve never been naked with Merle. Ever. Sounds fuckin’ gross.”
Oh. 
It made sense. Makes so much sense, ‘specially now. She keeps talkin’ an’ ‘m grateful cuz if I tried to say anything else I’d start fuckin’ cryin’ again. “I liked you, man. I…” she stops herself. Wanna beg her to keep goin’ but I can’t. 
Instead I ask ‘er the only question I got left, “Why’d ya leave, then? Ya left ‘n ya never came back.” 
She’s silent for a long time. “When you and Merle moved, where’d you go?” 
She did come back. 
“Why’d ya leave, Beatle?” Doesn’t matter where Merle and I went. She’s avoidin’ the question. 
“Got sober. After that night… with you. Wanted to get sober. Wanted to…” she don’t say the rest but she don’t need to. I got it. Fuck, my heart can’t take it. 
“Cuz I said ya liked gettin’ fucked up more than ya liked me.” It ain’t a question. I know. 
“Think it was more the other thing you said.” 
Tha’ was before I really knew ya, Beatle. I can still taste the words. “Shouldn’t’a said that to ya.” My voice is barely a whisper. 
She gets back up on the bed and puts her arm around me again, this time I don’t shake her away. Her voice, so close to my ear, “I didn’t want to tell you that I came back. I didn’t want you to know that I got sober for you.” 
What? “Why not?” 
“Wasn’t sure you’d care. And if you did… I didn’t want you to have all the what-ifs in your head that I have in mine.” 
She hugs herself into me so tight it’s hard to breathe, and she tells me, “It doesn’t matter anymore.” 
I feel guilty, can’t take any of that back. Can’t make any of it better. I don’t deserve this. Her. After all the nasty shit I ever thought about her. After what I did to her the other night. I can’t bring myself to tell her to leave cuz I know she wants to be here. Don’t wanna make her cry again. 
So I let her hold me. Even though I don’t fuckin’ deserve it. 
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Text
Imagen being Leon's s/o and accidentaly getting infected but instead of becoming a mindless murder men eating zombie ur still u but now ur just a more slower than usual
Tw: zombie reader, mentions of food and tad bit of blood whichever leon u prefer to think about not being specific here
-Like u speak is somtimes slurred and u tend to gets stuck in ur tounge. Stuttering a lot specialy when u get anxious (or it worsen a bit more if u already had that problem bf infecting). U got a special device that helps u write ur thots when u need to say something for moments when ur in hurry.
-Ur walking's a bit more wabbly but u get where u wanna get, using mostly leon's upper arm for a lil more stability as u two walk. U tend to trip a bit more tho lol but Leon always has a firm grip on u to prevent u for falling
"Not letting you fall for anything other than me~" he smirks as u try not to smile at his corny liners when he catches u (such a dork 😆)
-Ur appearence hasn't drastically changed much either, other than the greyish irises and paler skin tone u still look like yourself
-Ur diet still just as consistent, although u been prefering mostly meats and fish lately (vegetarians Im sorry) but you still eat like always. Leon tend to spoon feed you since ur grip isn't as stable as it was.
You tried telling him to not bother knowing how busy his days usualy are, but he just shush u by saying that taking care u is his disstresser(?) Cuz he just can forget about everything else and focus on his preddy love <3
-Also u being in heavy investigation, they only agreed for Leon to keep you company cuz 1. He can proctet you and others in case thing go south, and 2. Cuz he did almost threaten his superiors so like.....yeah...(probably gonna think that part a lil more but i can see him giving them the death stare)
-That also meant u had to be more to the headquaters so it would be closer to the lab whenever they need your blood samples and stuff. They had to babyproof everything cuz like I said u tend to trip often xddddd
-Some of the scientist are very wary of u, often trying to be quick when it comes to attending to u. But most of them are preddy nice to you (otherwise they would hear from ur bf if they weren't 😞)
-Also zombies don't tend to care if ur next to them so that's something less to worry about! But doesn't make Leon any less propective of u. He actually got more protective than he was bf u got infected since now ur movements aren't as fast and tend to leave you more vulnerable......or does it? 🙄
_____________________________________________________________________________
A/N: been thinking of this for a while so like here u have it ksksksksk. Probably will do a part 2 soon
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spacexseven · 2 years
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nice glad to see drunk yans was a hit. yeah i agree that dazai would be 1000% HUMILIATED that he just entirely blew his cover with you but on the bright side thats something he can jot down in his Evidence That Darling Secretly Has A Crush On Me list. its in the same notebook where he scribbles “mr. osamu darlingslastname” with hearts around it and ingredients for love spells he looked up online. he’ll find one that works eventually mark his words. i think for ADA dazai he’d just pretend he doesnt remember to avoid having to have the “im obsessed with you” conversation but rest assured. he is also writing about it in his insane little diary. 
ANYWAY sleepy!drunk ranpo as promised. it’s rare for ranpo to actually get inebriated, despite his gluttony. dulls his detective mind. but it’s alright to let loose on occasion, especially when that occasion gives him and excuse to spend some more time with darling! his flirtation strat is just to put himself in darlings line of sight as much as he can. once he gets drunk he’s pretty much just Gone. you’re honestly amazed someone as talkative as ranpo could ever be this. quiet and subdued. just blearily blinking his eyes and slurring out little whines about how its too loud in here. catch is: he doesnt wanna sleep just any old place, he wants to sleep on YOU. he’ll perch his head on your shoulder and doze off, lay down on your lap, grab your hand and put it in his hair, try to drag you over to the couch and get you to take a nap with him, etc. refuses to go to bed unless you agree to go with him. oh, and theres no waiting until he passes out and quietly slipping away. if you move away from him he’s waking up instantly and following after you, sleepily asking “where are we going” like he was invited or something. ur probably still on cuddle buddy duty when he wakes up hungover too. 
clingy!drunk akutagawa. this one also cannot hold his liquor for the life of him so he’ll start to tilt into Weird after like. 2 drinks if that. typically, akutagawa is pretty avoidant with you. you’re not good for him. he cant focus on the task at hand if he’s close enough to smell you or feel the warmth that radiates off your skin or even hear the lilt of your voice, so he tries to cut down direct contact as much as he can. (stalking is fine tho he can do THAT all day long) if someone actually manages to get him drunk, however, as soon as he sees you he’s gravitating towards you like a magnet. he doesn’t really say much. just attaches himself to you. sits so close his leg is practically on top of yours, gently grabs your sleeve when you walk somewhere so he doesnt lose track of you, stuff like that. he’s just your shadow for the night. might get a bit bolder as the night goes on and actually take a crack at talking to you, but nothing he says is gonna make much sense. WILL try to follow you home be aware him doing that. (also, quick aside…flirty!drunk akutagawa… akutagawa acting completely unlike himself, laughing and smiling and boldly touching you… leaning into whisper salacious things in your ear… pushing you down into the booth or up against the wall… much to think about.)
BONUS ROUND smiley!drunk fyodor. fyodor is even less likely to deign himself with the crude act of drink than the other two. doesnt like being out of his own head, and with all of his various ailments drinking in excess could prove problematic… but gogol dared him to so now he’s half kicked in the ass. normally, fyodor smiling at you is something very creepy that you have to be worried about, but now he almost looks kinda… sweet. just genuinely grinning and lightly giggling like hes having the time of his life just being near you. i mean, it’s definitely still kinda creepy but you know. less so than usual. he probably wouldnt talk much, just the occasional hi :) or something in russian you cant understand. he’d occupy himself mostly with grabbing your hand and toying idly with your fingers or running his fingers through your hair. just little touches. things he rarely affords himself sober. he’ll only stop smiling if you try to leave, pouting and grabbing your hand to try to keep you with him for longer. might try to go after you but he’s very wobbly so youll have to catch him, also contact that he enjoys. he actually wont be embarrassed by any of this he’ll just go that was fun :) the next morning. 
- 🩹
ranpo sleep on me wink wink i cant write flirty akutagawa for the life of me but he lives in my mind <3 also please imagine this w manga fyodor!! he has a very pretty smile lol (if its ooc i do not care once in a while it's good to write him not as evil !!)
cw: yandere characters, obsession, intoxication, implied stalking
ranpo needs to be drunk to be all clingy, but drinking only makes him more shameless about it. he's decided to attach himself to you, literally sleeping on top of you, and so on. he's unnaturally quiet, though, and more...vulnerable? you're suddenly reminded of the fact that ranpo isn't an ability user; just a regular person with an unrelenting mind when you see him blinking slowly and drinking from his cup.
he's never had a reason to hide his infatuation with you, not caring about what anyone else, including you, had to say or feel about it, but now he looks a little shy, staring quietly at you and looking back at his drink the moment your eyes lock, looking a little flustered. it was almost like he was another person entirely.
however, after some time passes and he seems to have warmed up to your presence, he becomes more demanding. stumbles over to drag you towards the loveseat at the back of the room, quickly wrapping his arms around yours so you wouldn't move while he snoozed away. though he's asleep, his grip on you is almost painful and even the slightest nudge would make him tighten his hands. maybe he'll loosen up the more he slept...?
you've never seen akutagawa drink. you've always thought he would be quiet even if he was intoxicated but he seems to be acting...oddly. the previously stoic look melts into a devious expression on his face that reminds you of someone that you can't quite put your finger on, and a dangerous look in his eye, not unlike that of a predator on the hunt. he takes short breaks in between each sip but doesn't seem to be bothered by the alcohol, still silently studying the room and inspecting every individual until—
—he sees you.
his eyes widen a fraction before he catches himself, straightens up, and walks towards you with a confidence that you hadn't expected. he sits next to you and continues sipping from his cup, lmost as though you didn't exist. you get up to leave but his voice startles you.
"where are you going?"
akutagawa had a low, melodious tone when he spoke, something you had never noticed before since he rarely talked to you. you were strangely flustered by the sudden attention on you...you didn't even know that he knew who you were.
"home...it's getting quite late."
he nods, "i'll walk you back."
it was not an offer or a question—this was an implicit order. silently you wonder if he was sober enough too walk around and make his way back later. still, you didn't want to annoy akutagawa, more so when he was drunk and unpredictable. surprisingly, he doesn't seem to stumble around his way or need you to guide the way, seemingly knowing exactly where to go and which floor your apartment was.
would it be rude to not invite him in? he waits outside as you open the door and shuffle in, but before you can ask him to come in, he goes in for a hug. you're frozen still as he sighs in your warmth, then lets go almost as quickly as he latched on, as though he never did anything in the first place. as you watch him walk down the hallway, you wonder just what else he's been hiding.
fyodor is...not really much of a drinker, from your own observations. still, he's not exactly opposed to a few drinks every once in a while, and today, since the sky casino was throwing a party, you supposed he couldn't skip the occassion. he's always had this alluring yet uneasy presence, like something about that sweet smile and the amused glint in his eyes just felt off, but drunk fyodor is...almost irresistable.
you know what he can do and you've witnessed how dangerous he is, but somehow he looks far too approachable now. a soft little smile, nothing like the ones he uses to disarm and charm people, humming under his breath—it was impossible to look away from him.
as nikolai leaves his side, fyodor's eyes scan the room lazily, before they find you. his smile grows a little, and he raises one hand up. a silent request. before you can even think about it, you find yourself making your way over to him, unsure if the slight buzz in your system was from the alcohol or the sensation of him asking for you.
he gestures over to the now empty chair beside him, watching you closely with a sleepy smile.
"enjoying the party?" you nod eagerly, watching as he chuckles and reaches out for your hand, twisting the rings around your fingers. he inspects each one, still humming, before bringing your hand to his lips and placing a kiss on it. you were not expecting any of the affectionate gestures, but you would be lying if you said it didn't feel nice, someone aa attractive and as important as fyodor having only eyes for you.
"you look very nice," he says, eyes inspecting every inch of you in a manner thar should have been alarming but in that moment, it was just nice to be complimented.
you sit like that with him for a while more, him mumbling things in russian under his breath every so often, squeezing your palm and stopping to compliment you ever so often. once, he reached up to touch your hair, apologizing right after for messing up your hairstyle. like that mattered when you were on cloud nine.
an acquaintance of yours calls you over, but fyodor's grip tightens around you, and he frowns for the first time that evening. he croons at you, letting a pet name slip that has you absolutely endeared, asking very softly for you to stay a little longer. he whispers that he likes your presence. the other person is hence ignored.
he asks, again, if you could help him up to nikolai, and his voice, while you know it's not meant to be that way, sounds almost seductive. you have to shake off your thoughts before helping him wobble over to the clown, who was happily entertaining some guests. fyodor smiles at you one laat time that night.
the next day, while you're sure he would not remember the night before, he pauses his steps when he sees you in the hallway, inspects you with those devouring eyes, and smiles, telling you to have a good day.
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remcycl333 · 1 year
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Hi, I really enjoyed reading your indepth post today on how to fulfill ourselves. I really admire you and the “states girlies” a lot because you guys really know your stuff!
I have a bit of a scenario that i’ve been “stuck” in and in my own head about, if you have time i would really appreciate some advice.
So i’ve been “manifesting” my sp for a little over 2 years now using law of assumption, but in reality i’ve only TRULY been manifesting him using states for the last 8 months. I have a really good understanding of states thanks to you and twitter pages, edward art and neville. I promise I don’t focus on time (until recently when i was making plans for my future which i always assumed my sp would be here for) and I never intended that manifesting takes a long time. I’ve experienced many quick manifestations and I know sp is no different but im not sure where im going wrong. I always catch myself when im out of the state and redirect myself back and have been doing this daily for the last 8 months. I do feel fulfilled in my mind with him since I no longer have a “longing” for him nor do I expect him to take any action in the 3D because thats not my true world. I dont even feel bad/sad when “opposite” things seem to happen (such as him unfollowing me out of the blue) and I give stuff like that NO meaning because it GENUINELY doesn’t affect me since I know in imagination im happily married. I know you’ll tell me that im not truly fulfilled if the 3D is making me feel some type of way, but Im not sure how else to explain that I don’t know why not even the tiny bit of movement has happened (I dont want movement, I want my whole desire, just trying to say how in my physical senses there has been nothing experienced).
I keep up with your posts weekly and I know you’ll tell me that if im noticing the absence im not in the state, that im dominantly still in lack, etc but I truly felt like I was fulfilled. I never check the 3D, I never even have “opposing” thoughts (since thoughts are an indicator of my state) so I thought for months that everything is fine. Even now I am prioritizing my state because I know that by writing this, I am being in an unfulfilled state, but im not sure what else to do. After a while it gets a little weird noticing it hasn’t reflected even though im fulfilled within. Am I doing anything wrong? I dont have a strong desire for my sp anymore because I worked a lot on myself and no longer need him, but I do wish to be with him still.
Thank you rem.
hi love! so im not in your brain, so i don't know every little thing you think/do throughout the day, so im gonna give u some examples of things i was accidentally doing whenever i was manifesting an sp that was keeping my 3d from reflecting, even tho i was sure i was 100% fulfilled. maybe you'll realize you're doing something similar and be able to stop it?
i'd prepare myself for what i'd say to my sp when he finally reached out, or i'd daydream about yelling at him when he did bc i knew before we got back together we'd have to talk about our past issues. this was contradicting the fact that i was manifesting already being in a relationship with my sp. why would i be identifying with those thoughts when i was already with my sp?
i like to daydream in order to fulfill myself, but sometimes i'd stop paying attention and accidentally slip into a state of longing without even realizing it. like i'd be daydreaming about something bc i desperately wanted to experience it in my reality, not because i was experiencing it in my 4D, if that makes sense. what i like to do to combat that is while im daydreaming i just like to tell myself that im re-living a memory and that im so happy this thing already happened/is happening. it helps me think from my desire instead of thinking of it!
my friends have shared that one of their mistakes while manifesting an sp was still wanting their sp to be missing them/obsessed with them/constantly thinking about how badly they wanted to be with them, daydreaming about scenarios of them being jealous, etc. this was making them identify with separation, when they really wanted to identify as their sp's partner.
similarly, an issue i had was focusing way too much on how my sp was feeling about me, instead of focusing on how i was feeling about them. when i'd daydream or imagine, i'd imagine them loving ME or confessing their feelings to ME, but then i realized that how i feel matters more than how they feel, because this is my reality! so instead i'd focus on how much i loved them and how amazing i felt being loved by them. that's why, as i mentioned in my most recent post, i changed from affirming "my sp loves me" to "i love my sp."
while manifesting my sp, i knew the first step of us getting back together would be him texting me, so every time i picked up my phone and i saw he hadn't texted me yet id feel sooo discouraged. what helped me with this was telling myself things like "ofc my sp didn't text me, he's literally in the same room as me why would he text me lol?" this would help me feel like we were already together!
i was still PISSED at my sp. idk what your story is with your sp, but mine was an ex, and i was mad at him for breaking up with me still. i had to forgive him because i was constantly holding onto that anger and fantasizing about yelling at him over it. this one might not apply to u depending on your relationship with your sp idk!
similarly, i'd find myself getting mad at my sp for not "conforming" to my affs? even tho he didn't even know i wanted him back? so once again i focused on feeling positively towards my sp and imagining how much i loved him. once i started focusing on the version of my sp that was such a good and loving and attentive boyfriend, he started showing up that way in my reality. remember, there is NO ONE TO CHANGE BUT SELF! focus on changing how YOU feel about your sp instead of how he feels about you!
i know you say that you never feel negatively about your sp or your situation, but as i've mentioned in other posts, sometimes the feeling of knowing feels like nothing. so while you're noticing nothing is happening in your 3D, you can still be accepting the fact that nothing is happening without it giving you any negative emotions.
my advice would be to implement the distraction technique. this is what helped me finally manifest my sp. i had a favorite person attachment to my sp (bc of my bpd) so i was thinking of him ALL day long, and sometimes i wouldn't be paying enough attention to know if i was thinking of him from the state of the wish fulfilled, or from the state of lack. so instead, every time i thought of him at all (negatively or positively) i'd say "it is done" (which instantly shifted me into the state of the wish fulfilled) and then force myself to think of something else. so many of my followers have had success with this technique! this technique isn't necessary at all (you're 100% allowed to think of your sp) but i found it rlly helpful for my adhd brain. it can also be really helpful for you if you can't pinpoint what you're doing wrong!
i really hope this post was helpful to you!! <3 let me know if anything helped!
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httplvki · 11 months
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haven’t fully written in like months.. and exams are in 1-2 days and instead of studying im writing this lol. so i apologize if this is kinda shit or cringe T_T
ghost x reaper (oc) [CAN be read as reader tho since i don’t describe how she looks like!] she/her prns for reaper
reaper gets shot and ghost works on getting her patched up, but really its just reaper being infatuated and admiring him at the end {FLUFF} (tw// mentions of blood and gun shot wound)
“reaper, how copy?” she starts to hear through her comms
reaper slowly opens her eyes before rapidly blinking, her vision starts to focus normally again.
“reaper, how copy?” the voice on the other end more stern
reaper groans out, feeling a slight pain on the left side of her abdomen.
“ugh, fuck…” she moans before looking down at the injury. it was a gunshot wound, the bullet was still inside. she puts her hand around the wound to cover it before putting her head back in pain.
“jesus.. reap, how copy?” the voice from the comms asked again now more irked.
she sighs before pressing the button of her comms.
“am fine, ghost..” she gives out a hoarse whisper
“thought i lost you there, what's your status?” he asked
“got shot..” she pauses before looking around her surroundings and slowly getting up “in between some buildings, think i lost them” she finishes
“don’t get your hopes up, now let's get your ass to where we’ll be meetin’.”
—————————
reaper opens the door to the abandoned house with one arm while the other is still on her bleeding abdomen.
revealing ghost with his hands on his gun pointed in her direction and puts his gun down after confirming it was her.
“thought you were gonna give me another bullet in me” reaper joked weakly before closing the door behind her
ghosts eyes follow her movements before speaking up.
“sit on the couch, i’ll try to get the bullet out” he calmly says before going through his kit
reaper looks in the direction of the couch before dragging herself to it. she lets out a sigh once her body hits the softer surface, her head leaned back and her eyes closed.
“move your hand and lift your shirt..” he softly says making her open her eyes again to meet his tired eyes.
she obliged and removes her hand from her bloody wound, letting out a small wince before lifting the side of her shirt to reveal her bare skin. he gets on one knee to inspect the wound.
“you’re lucky,” he says
“yeah i know..”
god, the atmosphere is too awkward right now.
is all that reapers hazy mind could think of while he runs his hand around the wound and gets to work. reaper looks down at his figure, focused on trying to patch her up.
the dark lighting made him look like more of the grim reaper unlike reaper herself. her eyes wander to his skull-shaped mask then to his eyes. so tired and dark, looks like he’s been through hell and back. a mysterious man he really is, but so intriguing at the same time.
fuck… i really am falling for him.
she thought while staring at him, not even phased about the pain around her abdomen.
ghost feels her staring
“if you’re gonna say somethin’ just say it,” he says while still focusing on getting the bullet out of her abdomen.
she lets out a weak huff in amusement
“who hurt you, LT?” she lightheartedly asks
the question making him pause before looking up at her face.
“none of your business” he blankly says
a small smile creeps onto her face once he looks up at her. reaper is more hazy than she thinks she is. without thinking she gently reaches her hand out to the side of his masked cheek and placing it there.
so utterly infatuated with the lieutenant without even knowing that she is.
he lets it happen. he lets her rest her hand on his cheek before he sighs.
“fuckin’ hell reap, you know how much of a handful you are sometimes?” he places his hand on top of her hand that rests on his cheek before gently grabbing it and setting her hand down again.
“i know, but you don’t mind all that much do ya?” she grins, admiring his masked face.
“and i hate that i don’t.”
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betty-gb · 2 years
Text
characters x short s/o
———————————————
alright here we go, this is hc of some of my favourite boys and one girl with a short s/o. like quite short, like 4’11/5’0. this honestly became more general hcs but they still focus on height factors.
includes: leo valdez, connor stoll, gilbert blythe, carter kane and kate bishop
disclaimer: these are just my personal opinions so please don’t be mean if you don’t agree. also lmk if i’ve made any mistakes regarding canonical facts about these characters.
pronouns: i think i only used pronouns once in this and it was they/them so anyone could read this although some head cannons were more geared towards a female audience as i myself am female.
warnings: some mild language
*not proof read*
leo valdez:
-starting off strong with our short king, mr. leo valdez
-he is canonically about 5’6 so we’re going to go with that
-he’s a little shit
-just putting that out there
-1000% using you as an armrest
-asking you to grab something for him that he knows for a fact you can’t reach
-the whole package of teasing
-but can we really blame him
-he’s been the shorty for a while and he enjoys finally having someone shorter
-now leo i hc as a little spoon
-just because our boy has some major trauma
-but if you were a demigod too you would probably have a whole lot of trauma as well
-we love
-anyway with the height difference i feel like he would big spoon a bit more but you bet he is still laying on your chest with his face in your boobs (for anyone who has them) or just your chest (for everyone else)
-you would probably come up to his nose area so perfect height for him to give you forehead kisses
-although i feel like he prefers to kiss the tip of your nose
-especially when it’s all rosy from the cold
-in terms of clothes sharing
-i feel like leo is more of a ‘let me try on your clothes that are too small for me for laughs’ guy than a ‘wear my clothes that are too big for you and i’ll swoon’ type of guy
-which makes me sad
-but it’s okay because he will still give you clothes if ur cold and he will most certainly blush and pepper your face with kisses
-now with you being tiny and all he feels a certain sense of protectiveness
-not that you can’t handle yourself yk being a demigod and all
-but he’s lost enough people and he will not let anyone hurt you
-anyone messes with you they mess with him
-which isn’t very intimidating as he’s also short
-but he makes up for it with attitude
-all in all leo will be a bitch about your height but he will also love being taller just the same
connor stoll:
-next comes my one of my favourite demigods
-idk why i love him so much but i do so ya
-let’s start with his height bc he’s a tall lad
-all we get from the books is ‘tall’
-so i hc him to be around 6’3
-i also think travis is about 6’2 so a little bit shorter than connor
-and boy he will not shut up about it
-but i’m getting carried away
-as you can imagine this is a biggg height difference
-probably the biggest one i’m gonna be writing about
-it’s like 15-16 inches so ya
-you don’t even come up to his shoulder
-kisses are always a struggle but you make do
-he picks you up
-you stand on a chair
-he sits on a chair
-it works fine
-he is another little shit
-wow i seem to have a type
-this time it’s even more extreme of a height difference tho so it’ll be sooo fun for you
-that was very sarcastic if you couldn’t tell ^
-he will toss you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and parade you around while you whack at his back
-and if you ask him to get something for you
-don’t expect it within the next hundred years because he will hold it just out of your reach so you have to literally climb him to get it
-unless it’s something you need of course because he’s secretly a sweetheart that would so anything for you
-in terms of cuddling, im assuming you already know it would be very hard for you to be the big spoon
-wow i just realized that this height difference is giving those draco fanfics where y/n is like 4’11 and not like other girls
-back to cuddling tho
-i think it would be okay because i see him as more of a big spoon anyway
-or he would like to have you lying on his chest
-omg i’m just picturing the whole him in sweatpants like rly low down on his waist with no shirt because you’re in his shirt which is way to big lying for you lying on his chest in bed
-i’m swooning
-but ya
-i feel like occasionally he would lie like lower on the bed with his head between your legs on his back
-so like the back of his head is resting on your stomach
-idk how to explain this properly i hope that made sense
-speaking of clothes tho
-i think he is more of a ‘wear my clothes that are too big for you and i’ll swoon’ guy
-only because he may rip your clothes if he tried them on
-if you were more similar in height he would totally be stealing your shirts and putting on a goofy fashion show for you
-and like i mentioned before his shirts are huge on you
-it’s adorable
-now for him the whole protectiveness is stumping me
-i feel like he would kinda respect you and know that you can handle yourself
-because you are like a badass
-but i feel like his whole protectiveness would come out more if a guy was like hitting on you and got handsy
-scary boyfriend privileges coming out
-in battle he would for sure try to protect you but not rly any more than you would try to protect him
-your amazingness makes up for the height in battle
-i generally feel like protectiveness in battle would be about equal both ways
-and he’s the quiet jealous type so i feel like if a guy was like flirting he wouldn’t necessarily do anything
-only if the guy got like to touchy or aggressive like i mentioned before
-wow i really rambled for connor
-i’m sorry i just love him so much
-so all in all he would be annoying but he would have so much respect for you and your abilities even with your height
gilbert blythe:
-alright we’re switching fandoms now
-for the first time in forever i don’t think he’s a little shit about your height
-gilbert is around 5’8
-but for my self indulgence let’s say he’s around 5’10
-because he gives decently tall guy vibes
-so that means we have ourselves a height difference of around 10-11 inches
-he really just sees your height as a way to coddle and protect you
-which obviously you don’t need
-but it being the late 19th century we got all the big strong man stereotypes
-he’s not possessive or anything though
-just protective
-especially from a certain someone
-*cough* billy *cough*
-we all know billy is a grade a asshole
-and it’s even better that my phone just tried to autocorrect billy to bully
-quite fitting
-as for cuddling
-gilbert is a big spoon
-and i am set on that
-he also loves being on the couch and just holding you in his arms while your head rests on his chest
-maybe he’s reading to you
-gosh i’m soft for him
-so the height difference works perfectly for you guys with cuddling
-and yes he is a ‘wear my clothes that are too big for you and i’ll swoon’
-i will stand by this until i die
-wear his sweater and he might just blow up on the spot
-from how adorable you are of course
-gilbert is just a sweetheart and such a simp that will do anything for you
-he doesn’t really look too much into the height difference
-he just loves you
carter kane:
-were heading back to the riordanverse because i am unorganized as heck
-i haven’t read the books in a while so bear with me if i make some mistakes
-i saw somewhere on the internet that carter is 5’6
-and sadie is too
-i think i can see this for the age he is in the books
-but when he’s older i’m picturing like 5’11
-because i hc that our boy had late puberty and a late growth spurt
-sorry sadie
-i hope you enjoyed the small amount of time being taller than him
-so ima talk about little carter when he’s still a shorty
-i don’t think he ever really payed attention to his height
-or others heights for that matter
-my guy was travelling so much and had like no friends his age so i don’t think he had much of a perception of how tall he should be
-at least until him and sadie were reunited
-then the teasing was relentless
-for the sake of this let’s say you either came to brooklyn house with them or were already there idc
-so then he saw you and noted that you were short
-yk a little mental note
-‘hey sadie y/n’s shorter why don’t you tease them instead’
-but it’s a sibling thing
-even considering that i don’t think he cares that much about height
-he just wants an inch on his sister
-cuddling with him is awkward but i think he’s pretty flexible with big spoon/little spoon stuff and your height difference isn’t so drastic that you can’t spoon him
-cuddling with him is pretty versatile
-i’m terms of clothes
-i saw someone say that he will leave his sweaters in random places for his s/o to find and hopefully wear
-i love it
-it’s perfect because he’s so awkward but he is definitely a ‘wear my clothes that are too big for you and i’ll swoon’
-i can’t remember who said this tho so if you find them please lmk and i’ll give credit
-now protectiveness is difficult for him
-he’s such a worry wart
-and a total mom
-so he like wants you to be safe and wants to protect you in battle and stuff
-so he used his height to help with that
-even though you’ve told him so many times that you are fine
-now when he’s in his godly avatar thing
-major height difference
-i’m joking
-let’s not get into that
-imaging kissing like this big chicken warrior head
-no thanks
-again i just think carter doesn’t really care about his height difference with you
-he just loves you
kate bishop:
-last but not least is miss kate
-i was originally going to do all boys for this but my bisexual ass couldn’t resist kate
-so kate is about 5’8
-and i like that
-nice solid height
-a bit tall for a girl
-perfect
-but isn’t everything about kate perfect
-i feel like she lies somewhere in between being a little shit and a sweetheart
-because she is so confident and cocky
-but it’s hot and she’s a woman so it’s okay
-on the other hand she gives massive simp vibes
-because she is my favourite golden retriever character
-i feel like some people may disagree but i feel like she’s a big spoon
-that also may be biased though as i love to be the little spoon sooo
-it’s okay tho
-i feel like she likes you to be facing her while cuddling though
-and size works out for you guys because she is bigger and also the big spoon
-if you desperately want her to be the little spoon i can see that too
-and for little spoon kate i feel like you wouldn’t really have an option no matter your size
-you just gotta make it work
-because i see her as a little whiny poop
-big spoon kate is too tho
-who are we kidding
-she was spoiled growing up
-she’s not bad spoiled tho
-now onto clothes
-i think she’s both a ‘let me try on your clothes that are too small for me for laughs’ and a ‘wear my clothes that are too big for you and i’ll swoon’
-but i think she is more the latter
-for protectiveness i have two different cases here
-let’s say that you are an avenger/super hero/fighter or wtv for our first scenario
-she would totally be protective
-you’re her love
-she needs to keep you safe
-and you are also small
-more excuses for kate to be protective
-i feel like no matter your height tho she is just a protective person by nature
-so in battle she would be watching you in her peripheral vision all the time
-not that you aren’t doing the same tho
-option two
-you are not an avenger/super hero/fighter
-you are an average person
-don’t you just love the idea of have a tall sexy woman as your like personal body gaurd
-because i sure do
-dream come true
-but honestly
-you would probably get roped into her business with the tracksuit mafia so you are in danger a lot during that period of time
-and she’s the sweetest
-it’s a sad fact but we all know that shorter people are easier targets for bad people
-so she would be so cautious
-only because she loves you though
-she definitely protective
-especially of you
-and she for sure loves the height difference
thanks for reading and lmk if you want me to do hcs for a tall s/o!!
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froggibus · 1 year
Note
I love your writing, especially your overwatch stuff!!! The lack of ashe content is 😭 tho, do you have anything in the works? If not maybe could we get a story that's ashe x f! reader or ashe x cassidy pretty please? 🙈
"You Scared?" - Ashe
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Pairing: Ashe x reader
Genre: fluff?
Word Count: 700
Summary: Ashe comes over to watch horror movies and comforts you when you're scared
CW: horror movies + horror movie tropes, reader is kind of a scaredy cat ngl, first kiss, cuddling, just soft stuff
im negl i struggled with this omg. i love ashe but writing her is kinda hard for me cause i don't regularly hc her as anything! but honestly i loved writing this and i really like trying to challenge myself to do better. thank you for requesting <3 hopefully this makes up for the tragic lack of ashe content
————
A blood curdling scream sounds from the tv. You flinch, drawing your knees closer into your chest and the blanket farther around your shoulders. The scream rings in your ears, a chill lurks on the back of your neck. 
Ashe scoffs, taking a sip of her wine. “You scared?”
“Pft—me? Scared?” You try to match her teasing tone, but your voice is shaky. 
In your defence, the movie is scary. A teenager being stalked by a masked killer, a call from the killer coming from inside the house? It sets your nerves on fire. 
Of course, not as much as the woman sitting across from you on the couch. Her red eyes ghosting over you are enough to make your heart race and palms sweat. 
“It’s written all over your face, sugar.”
Your face heats up at her words. “This is just my…movie watching face.”
“Right,” red irises roll behind black eyeliner. “Well, don’t worry, doll. Nobody’s gonna hurt you with me around.”
Your mouth feels dry, and your words fail you. You nod to her, hoping she can’t hear the pounding of your heart in your chest. You force yourself to focus back on the movie and the woman getting crushed by a garage door. 
While your eyes focus on the screen, Ashe focuses on you. The way your nose scrunches up at the blood and gore is so cute that she can’t seem to look away. You look so small and fragile curled up in a ball on her couch. 
Nothing like the people she’s used to—the rugged men that man her crew, the conniving women that run with her gang. No, you’re something else entirely. Something softer. Something that she needs more than anything right now. 
Your shoulders relax when the killing's done, focusing on a dorky kid who likes movies instead. You feel like you can breathe again and take your eyes off of the screen for the first time in a while. 
You look up just to see Ashe staring at you. “What?” You ask. 
“Just admiring the view,” she smirks. 
“Yeah? Do you like it when I’m scared?”
The white-haired woman sips her wine, muttering under her breath, “only cause you look so damn cute.”
You raise an eyebrow. “What was that?”
“Only cause you look so damn cute.”
Her words take you aback. She’s always been blunt, speaking her mind. But you never thought—never considered—she’d be interested in you. You can feel heat spreading up your neck. 
She laughs. “Cat got your tongue?” 
You bite your lip and nod, worried anything you say now will just come out as a high pitched squeak or an incomprehensible jumble of words. 
She leans forwards suddenly, fingers ghosting across your cheek. She leans in, lips hovering just above yours. “It’d be a shame to let such a pretty mouth go to waste.”
She closes the gap between you. Her lips are warm and soft, red lipstick smearing onto your lips, marking you as hers. She runs her hand up your cheek, up your temple, and into your hair. Her touch is so gentle, unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. 
You’re too flustered to speak when she pulls away. Her taste lingers on your tongue and all you want is more. She’s smiling at you, taking in the awestruck look on your face.
Before either of you can say anything, another scream from the TV fills the room. You flinch at the sudden noise, your shoulders crinkling together. 
“Come here,” she says, opening up her arms to you. “Sit with me, I’ll protect you.”
You scooch across the couch until you’re pressed against her, one arm on either side of you and your head on her chest. She’s so warm and her arms are so strong that you can’t help but feel safe with her. 
The movie isn’t so scary after that.
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rosekasa · 6 months
Text
20 questions for fic writers!
thank u @jattendschaton for tagging me 🥺 i love these questions
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
i have 107 on maketea, but with my um. two other accounts i have 128
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
on maketea i have 293,935, but with at least one of my other accounts (one of them is for ml and one of them for another fandom, the latter of which i cant be bothered to log in to rn shdjsk) the total is 313,681!!
3. What fandoms do you write for?
miraculous ladybug mainly! but i have also written for owari no seraph. ive written for other fandoms but im not counting it if i literally only have one work to my name for them HSJAJA with ons at least i have 3 on maketea and 12 on my other account
THEORETICALLY. i also write for sailor moon. i have a substantial amount in my google docs. they just havent manifested themselves into existence yet
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
apology gifts, like poles of a magnet, new marinette, a nine-year old (fhfjsj), and i'll marry you! ive actually had kudos/hits/comments stats hidden on ao3 since 2021 so i have no clue how many kudos any of these have which is very funny to me
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
i try to but i always get distracted midway through going through my inbox which is totally on me fjdkka. i always decide to do it when im literally in the middle of class for whatever fuckin reason HAHAHA. i also always feel bad because im like 'oh i havent replied to this in literally two years im too embarrassed to reply now'
i also want to reply with more than just 'thank you' because comments mean SO MUCH TO ME but i think i psych myself out of replying because im too scared i won't be able to express it properly
im trying to resolve to get better at it!
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
ehemememem. ya'aburnee.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
ooh, id say new marinette! in terms of like. the emotional arc or whatever
i was gonna say lpoam, but i think there's still a bit of lingering Sad there
8. Do you get hate on fics?
nope!
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
i want to say no. but ive been writing fics for ten years now and i feel like i mustve done Something weird when i was younger
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
not to my knowledge!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
yep, for an old fandom on wattpad!
shdkska this is really funny, but back then i made a playlist for the fic, and i remember the person who translated it wrote in their translation of that chapter 'i wouldve done it differently but it's okay' that still makes me laugh
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
yep, i did one for owari no seraph and one for ml! i have some others in the works tho hehe
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
guess
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15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
oh hmm. i think i am delusional and believe all my wips will someday be finished HDJFJSJS so im changing this question to 'doubt you will in the near future'. for that, id say maybeeee my amnesia adrien fic. 40k words in the doc and babe is still marinating
16. What are your writing strengths?
hmm. i think im quite good at writing interactions! i mean, i like the way i write them at least. i love capturing the feeling of being with people and i think i do it well!
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
there's something that feels kind of hesitant when i read my docs sometimes? it feels like im worried to hit the point of the plot head-on and skirting around what i actually want to say. i think what i'm trying to do to improve is to be a bit more direct in my narration style and focus on being descriptive only when it's needed.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
ive done it before!
19. First fandom you wrote for?
oh i dont want to answer this. one direction
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
like poles of a magnet <3
tagging @destiny-with-you , @mozzygan , @asukiess , @ladyofthenoodle , and whoever else wants to do this!!! just say i tagged u when u do it hehe
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