tearfest

[tearfest]

i might try n make a staggered comeback soonish

#im struggling a lot but i feel like i need a distraction

[tearfest]

final update for a while in the tags

#my dad died yesterday morning #and everything feels wrong #im not allowed to tell my mum or sister bc they were abusive towards him and why i helped him leave them 5 years ago #they dont know that i helped #its very hard to mourn someone when people dont know whats happened #like its really hard? im struggling a lot because i have to just talk to her as if im fine and im not dying inside #tbd. #ooc.

[tearfest]

an update again

#hes in a hospice now and the care here is really good #im visiting him everyday because i dont want to miss a day with him #his wife has said that he wants me to try to keep going into uni which is thursfay n friday so im gonna try n do that ig #its hard 2 focus but its a distraction #and ive been staying at a griends so im local #my ex is staying at my house with my dogs so i dont have to worry about them #everyday is a sad day #i might try and get back into writing on discord as a distraction tho bc im desperate for smth to think about #ooc.

[tearfest]

3rd and final update for a while

#so my dads been placed into a hospice and the care there is really good #im really struggling bc of stuff witn my mum too. idk if ive ranted abkut it before but my mum doesnt know i talk to my dad let alone se him #and my dads asked me not to tsll her that hes dying bc she abused him and shes evil basically #bjt im stahing at her house til saturday to keep an eye on her dog and also my sister whos 19 and doesnt need baby sitting bc she doesnt #trust her with the house or the dogs #and badically. my brain feels lime its going to split in half lol #like living 2 lives is hard #but im starting the legal process of reporting her for financial abuse and neglect bc im classified as a vulnerable adult bc of reasons #so yeah #cant wait to be an orphan man #im breaking down djdjdjd

[tearfest]

one more update/rant in tags

#my dads only got a few weeks #writing that feels surreal lol #anyways knowing that im losing the only parent that ever loved me is breaking my fragile little heart #he doesnt deserve any kf this hes such a good person #tbd

[tearfest]

oversharing in the tags

#so i got a call this morning #n my dads been in hospital n unable to start chemo til he got better #but he isnt getting better #like at all. he probably wont even be going back home #so my activity might be spotty or altogether nonexistent or maybe even overbearing bc writing is a fun lil get away #ooc. #tbd

[tearfest]

ㅤㅤ" marry me, huh? cute. you'd look handsome in a tux. " she knows it's wrong — unfair, even — to tease him, to taunt him with the skimpy dresses that flashed lace whenever he was visiting, or to give him false hope when she was nearly twice his age and married. but it was fun to play pretend, and dean, or the immoral fantasy of dean, serves as the perfect distraction from her mundane suburban livelihood. just because she wants to doesn't mean she'd ever act on it. " so — is that a yes to my invitation, or do you expect me to have to drink alone? "

                                         (   𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧   for   𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 !  )

“  ehhhh —  "  who  knew  how  easy  they  could  make  the  boy  speechless?  read: incredibly easy. red  hue  deepens  against  the  softness  of  his  cheeks,  “  you  know  i’m  gonna  have  to  marry  you  if  you  keep  talkin' this  shit  up!   i  am  seriously  no better than  everybody  else. ”

#416ean #*tucks hair behind ear* heyyy.. hii.. how yall doin #HSDFH I HOPE THIS IS OKAY ANGEL!! #i couldnt help myself #minji: discourse. #minji: featuring dean.

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ㅤㅤlooking into max's eyes somehow felt different to when she looked into her boyfriends eyes. there was something exciting about being the one lucky enough to be reflected in his irises — like it validated her belief that she is, arrogantly, the prettiest girl in the school. " only to get your tall self out of my line of sight. besides, don't you think he'd be kinda pissed if he knew we were sitting together? you boys get awfully possessive of your toys. " she reaches into her bag then, taking out her compact mirror and lipgloss to reapply — lips in an oval shape before she's side-eyeing him at his invitation before snapping the compact closed and tossing the items back in her bag. " absolutely not. i can go with jackson. but who knows... maybe you'll be able to find me in one of the bedrooms. "

Max raised his brows at her words for a moment and looked into her eyes with a smirk. He was in fact flirting with her yes but it wasn't that it wasn't working. She wasn't discouraging him yet. Which was a plus or so he thought. "Maybe I am. But weren't you on the one who offered me to sit next to you in class and how your boyfriend wouldn't know." He responded to her with a sly grin. It was nice to have banter with her this way. Hearing her next words he thought for some time. It was a difficult question to answer but he still cleared his throat and looked into her eyes. "i am going to this party on the weekend. Perhaps you could come with me." He said to her with a smile.

#fxcdboys #maritza: discourse. #maritza: featuring max.

[tearfest]

closed starter for @irrwicht.

ㅤㅤthe feelings of princesses are often over looked, stored away and tucked to one side in the name of utalitarianism. after all, being the daughter of the king is often synonymous with being a bargaining chip — a pawn he’s willing to ship off at a moments notice, to a king he had previously invested so much in trying to overthrow, in an attempt to garner peace. and, all the while, her brother gets to stay at home and prepare for the throne, living the life that kittiya had so grown to envy. 

ㅤㅤbut at least she has a pony. a pony means a ride, and a ride means she could roam around the walls of the palace that she was to be seemingly trapped in. her future husband often scolds her for leaving the grounds so recklessly; how their power and protection can only stretch so far; how she is too beautiful to risk her life like that. so she rides to avoid him, but also his father — the king. the most powerful man, but also the most handsome. his son was also kind on the eyes, but he pales in comparison to his senior. and she had been foolish enough to think that boredom would pose as the greatest threat in her becoming a stranger’s wife, when it was something much, much worse…  

ㅤㅤ“ your majesty, ”  she curtseys formally after dismounting when she’s cornered on her return to the gates, still technically out of the borders of their safe little haven. pearly whites toy with her lower lip as she bows her head, avoiding his gaze initially before rising to meet it — offering an apologetic smile before stroking a comforting hand along her sweet mares throat.  “ you need not waste your time on the likes of me, your majesty. i like to explore, and i have never bumped into anyone on my travels. it’s pretty quiet out in the forest, don’t you think? a beautiful place for a ride. and it reminds me of home. "

#2nd time lucky ! #irrwicht #i tried 2 remember exactly what i wrote before but i couldnt so have this jumbled up attempt at reimagining it dsfhhsf #kittiya: discourse. #kittiya: featuring fujin.

[tearfest]

closed starter for @r3dblccd.

ㅤㅤcollege is a bore. especially since it was her third attempt at her freshman year. she would’ve happily dropped out if it wasn’t for the fact that her professor of an older brother wasn’t so persistent in not letting her fail. and so she tries again and again, and she gets bad grades again and again. so, is there any wonder why she hates the school, and its students, so much? even to the point of murder. not that she’d count it as that. after all, she is only killing the boys.

ㅤㅤshe’s only killed two so far — leaving her one away from being serial. maybe tonight was the night. parties serve as the perfect hunting ground, rife with drunk frat boys pining for the kiss of her lips and, unknowingly, her blade. she may be drunk, empty flask in hand, but she isn’t stupid enough to risk it tonight, even if it is tempting… because she had someone better to pursue, only she would never hurt chinhwa. not whilst he’s still her current fixation. she’s spent the whole night practically glued to him, shadowing him intermittently as if she was the grim reaper dressed in all black. he’s the one guy she can’t seem to have, and that only fuels the fire of her twisted infatuation. 

ㅤㅤa black, coffin-shaped nail taps against his shoulder to get his attention, standing behind him as she presses against the tips of her toes to whisper in his ear.  “ so, when’s the part where you ask me to go home with you so you can quote-unquote help me with my algebra. ”  her sentence is equally as genuine as it is teasing, wanting nothing more than to make him hers in every sense of the word — but she seems to be enjoying the chase more than she’d expected.

#r3dblccd #sasha: discourse. #sasha: featuring chinhwa. #i hope this is okay!! im sorry it got a lil long < 3

[tearfest]

NEON, S1E05 (2023)

#elena: image. #hehehe

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ㅤㅤ" do you really think it's appropriate to talk to your friend's mother like that? besides — i can take a dip in my pool whenever i want to. what better time to flaunt my new bikini than at night? " it leaves very little to the imagination, with a thong for the panties and a bra with less fabric than there was skin. at least she's wearing a sarong — one that had a slit down the leg. " you are surprisingly unfeminist, rhys. i expected better. " her smile is so big that you can pretty much hear it in her voice as she playfully pinches at his cheek. " do you want to come for a swim? i doubt the rest of the boys would notice you were gone. "

❝    do    you    really    think    it’s    appropriate    to    walk    around    dressed like that    when    your    son / brother    and    his    friend    are    here    ?    ❞

open to fems

age gap stuff

#puretalents #im sorry thhis is actually a chunky reply i just got Enthralled .. #i hope this is okay!! lmk if not or if u want anything changing!! #elena: discourse. #elena: featuring rhys.

[tearfest]

A.J. COOK as JENNIFER JAREAU in CRIMINAL MINDS (2005 — PRESENT)

2.14 “THE BIG GAME”

#jodie: image. #loml #my blonde milf

[tearfest]

i'm sorry i said i wanted to slit your throat i just don't know how to flirt. it will definitely happen again btw

#sasha: musings.

[tearfest]

i want a “i’m in love with you and i just watched you get proposed to by your boyfriend right before my eyes and now i’m upset” plot and angst

#plot inspo.

[tearfest]

ㅤㅤ" are you flirting with me, max? " the question is laced with playfulness as she rocks back against her heels, gently prodding at his toned chest whilst a smirk curls at the corners of her glossy petals. " i don't think that jackson would appreciate his roommate hitting on his girlfriend. " and he definitely wouldn't appreciate the fact that it was working. her head tilts some at his words regarding her offer, brows raising inquisitively. " well, then what do you want? other than me, i mean. "

Max knew her very well considering he was flatmates with her boyfriend. But that wasn't stopping him from checking her out. He stayed silent for some time without saying anything and let his eyes travel down her frame. It was no secret that she was beautiful. Everybody knew that which was also why all the guys wanted her and max would have to admit that he was one of the guys who definitely have thought about her before. "You are right. I do know you. I was just teasing you. " he responded to her with a wink. At her next words he raised his brows at her for a moment. "That's not really too good of a deal but I suppose for now it will have to do. " he said with an exasperated sigh.

#fxcdboys #maritza: discourse. #maritza: featuring max.

[tearfest]

ㅤㅤhis touch has her wincing, but she doesn't move away. she thinks about it, but his touch provided her with too much comfort for her to be able to turn it down. her eyes are screwed closed when her head falls forward — forehead resting against his as she exhales shakily. 

ㅤㅤ“ what — what did you do, nate? ”  the usual light and airy cadence of her tone has been substituted for a fearful tremor as tears threatened to burn the brightest eyes, her heart lodged halfway down her throat before she could swallow it back down to its original place where it could decide between swelling with love at the thought of being protected, or shrinking away with anxiety when she realised her favourite person was capable of such cardinal sins. but the placement of his hands makes her hard to see anything but the good in him... even if it was buried underneath all the skeletons in his closet. " keeping me safe doesn't — it doesn't mean that, nate. you could've just hurt him, you... you didn't have to ki— you know... " she can't even say the word without being overcome with nausea — and, still, she just can't seem to let go of him as her forehead rests against his, her shoulders shaking with her silent tears.

nate takes several steps forward, conscientious of the way mija seems to tense up the closer he gets to her bed. at least her body was honest, even when her lips betrayed her. maybe nate took it too far, but mija was so naive and innocent to the way the world worked, the way the other guys on campus looked at her far too long and with too much hunger in their eyes for him to leave it alone. one rotten apple spoils the whole barrel, so nate would remove the rot. he drops to his knees on the carpet, cradling the back of her head in one hand and caressing the soft round of her cheek with the other. "shhh, shh. calm down, everything is okay, i've got you," nate cooes, trying to placate her with a gentle touch despite the heavily implicated violence nate's been involved in. he smells faintly of bleach and freshly laundered clothing. "i would do anything to keep you safe, mija. if any guy put his hands on you, i'd put him in the fuckin' ground."

#tragedyrich #mija: discourse. #mija: featuring nate. #SUPER JUICY SUPER MORE THAN OKAY!