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#im getting really close to being done i think
papaya-twinks · 12 hours
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Kikaaaa im really in love with your writing 😭✊🏻
Could I please ask for a Lando short fic?
I was thinking about something in the scenario where the reader is a currently Redbull driver, but has known and been an opponent of Lando since the karting days. Despite them being rivals, they don't hate each other and are always making jokes with each other, about something that went wrong in the race or about the strategies the team made for them etc.
On this specific day the reader was a little more upset with her result in the race and when Lando comes to make a joke about it she gets really angry and Lando doesn't understand. The discussion ends up turning into provocations about the reader's sex life and they end up in bed, to relieve the sexual tension they built up during the day.
I would be forever grateful if you wrote something about this 🫶🏻✨
Warnings: Angst, smut, 18+, sexual tension, praise
Pairing: Lando Norris x fem!reader
A/N - chat this request just jumped the queue of my other 12 because oh my word, I’ve never read a request that makes me feel so good. LIKE CHAT??? First and last lines had me in love <3 it’s not short coz I can’t make it short with all the detail
“That’s P2, well done Y/N,” your engineer said on the radio as you smiled. “Who’s third?” you were already aware your team mate, Max, would be first. “Norris in third,”. Your smile grew even more - though you’d been competing against Lando from a very young age, but the bond between the two of you was unbreakable. Not as in friends, you were friends, but not close. 
You drove into the pits, thanking the team as usual as you drove into your second place spot, seeing the orange car on the other side of the Max’s. “Nice job, Y/N,” Max shook your hand as you stepped out the car. “Cheers,”. You were distracted by the voice of Lando, waving to you from where his team were standing. “Nice one Y/L/N,” he said, lock-in your sides as you avoided his finger. 
“Thanks, Norris,” you said, emphasising his surname, as he sighed, “another result ahead of me,” he sighed dramatically. “Can’t help I’m just better,” you shrugged as Lando rolled his eyes, watching you take the microphone for the interview, poking your tongue out at him. That’s how your friendship worked - constant teasing between each other. 
“For fucks’ sake,” you groaned, watching as the cars raced past you, the smoke fogging from your engine. You’d been so close to winning the Grand Prix and there it went, an engine failure, wow. “Y/N, retire the car, please,” your engineer said. “Fuck!” you groaned, pulling into the pit lane, driving into the garage. You’d been on a streak of getting podiums since the start of the season, and now, there it went, your win and your podium. 
You stayed in the garage to watch the race, Max in first, followed by Lando, then Oscar. “C’mon,” one of the engineers tugged your arm to stand under the podium and watch the celebrations. “Bad luck, Y/N, sorry,” Max said, shaking your hand as you nodded. And then, Lando came. “Aww, someone crashed?” he raised an eyebrow. Usually, you’d be okay with it, but being so close to a race win?
It hurt. “Well fuck you,” you put on a sarcastic smile, ignoring the hand he’d put out to shake. “Alright then,” he held his hands up in mock surrender, “someone’s in a mood,”. You rolled your eyes at his words, turning, ignoring him pointedly, and watching the podium. As you walked back of the garage, to mull over your result and what you did wrong (even though you did nothing), you felt a tap on your shoulder. 
“Y/N,” a voice said, stern and cold, from behind you. You turned around, raising an eyebrow to Lando. He was covered in champagne, his eyes half narrowed. “I thought I said fuck off,” you said, without really thinking about it, rolling your eyes. “Yeah? Well I don’t wanna,” Lando said, making you stop where you were walking. 
“What do you want, Lando?” you paused. “To know why you’re having a goddamn tantrum over one DNF?”. That made you scoff, he clearly didn’t understand how you felt. “Lando, I was so close to a win, and it wasn’t even my fault!” you snapped, crossing your arms. “Guess you and your engine have something in common, you both blow up at random fucking points!” his tone was harsh and disgusted. 
“Cheers, Lando,” you scoffed, turning away. “Why did you have to yell at me? We make jokes like that every time. You did last time, too!” he snapped, his price way too high than to just accept it. You said nothing, watching his outburst. “Oh yeah, sorry I interrupted your little eye fucking session with Max,” Lando spoke sarcastically, making your ears perk up. 
“Excuse me?” you snapped, hands on your hips. “Oh, so you reply when Max is involved? Yeah, Y/N, all you two do is eye fuck in the cool-down room, I hate being there with you lot,” he said, venom in his voice as you paused. “Seriously, Lando? You sound desperate,” you laughed sarcastically. “Desperate? Really?” he snorted, “You’re out here looking like the desperate slut with those ridiculous little puppy eyes you pull on him,”. 
You’d never heard anything to stupid, but your attention focused on one word. “A slut? Really?” you scoffed, “You go round fucking whatever girl looks remotely pretty, every single decently attractive girl will end up in your bed for one night, then they’ll be out,” you spat. “You’re such a prude, god, Y/N,” he rolled his eyes, “and ‘every’ attractive girl?” he laughed at your words, the disgust poorly concealed. 
“Good job, your ears word,” you jeered, flicking your hair back over his shoulder. “You know that’s not true, Y/N,” he raised his eyebrow. His tone changed momentarily, but it went back to normal. “What?” you asked, bemused at his words. “Haven’t seen you in there, so it’s not every attractive girl, is it?” Lando’s words were quiet, but carried a certain level of power. 
You brushed off his comment, not wanting to give it anymore attention than it deserved. “Your point?” you asked, eyebrow raised at his words. “My point is that I’m not the whore, you are,”. Shaking your head, you turned back away from him, walking towards your motor home. “Seriously? You’re just gonna walk off?” he scoffed, following you into the room. 
Lando had never been in my room, before, we didn’t maintain that kind of friendship. It was a surprise to me as well as Jim, but I said nothing. “You’re not getting me in your bed, Norris,” you shrugged, taking your Red Bull hat off, along with your coat. “You’re the one undressing,” Lando commented under his breath. “I’m hot,” you said, like it was obvious, which it was, the heat of Spain hitting hard. 
“I know you’re hot,” he said, eyebrow raised as his eyes roamed over your body, lingering on your chest. His comments were getting really flirtatious now. “What are you trying to do?” you turned to him, a suspicious look on your face. You watched as he stood a step forwards, a few inches away from you. “Nothing,” Lando took another step forwards, your body pressing against the door. 
“Did you know,” he said, eyes dropping momentarily to your chest, “sex is good for stress?”. You did know that, obviously. “You look stressed,” he pointed out, making you pause. “D’you want me to get Max?” he cooed innocently. “Wow, Norris, I don’t know if you’re just stupid, but you’re not Max,” you rolled your eyes, “I don’t want Max,”.
“Right, so what driver then?’ Lando scoffed, his face centimetres from yours. “Oh, I dunno,” you said sarcastically, maybe you?”. The way he froze made a smirk flicker onto your face before it fell as he leaned forwards. “You want me?” he asked slowly, blinking at you, his eyes wide. “I believe I just said that,” you shrugged, eyes rolling. 
Lando’s lip curled at your eye roll, his face leaning closer to yours. “Better behave or I’m gonna make them roll for another reason,”. Your cheeks flushed at his words, your eyes wide as his lips bit down on the skin of your neck, your eyes wide. “Lando,” you gasped, his hands tugging at your shirt, breaking off of you to take it off. 
“Wanted to do this for so long,” he ran his lips over your jaw as he pulled your baggy trousers down. “Oh fuck,” you moaned as he pushed your knees apart, your legs over his shoulders as he held you against the wall, his tongue against your clothed clit. “Lando,” you mewled, eyes wide as he flicked his tongue, your hand tugging at his curls. 
Lando had been picturing this for so long, his head buried between your legs, licking at your sweet goodness, your hands tugging at his hair. Fuck, if he could see this from third person, he’d cum just like that. You rolled your hips softly against his mouth, his tongue pushed your drenched panties to the side. “Someone desperate?” he pulled back, a whine leaving your lips. 
“Lando,” you tugged at his curls as he looked at you, standing up fully, his body the same height as you, due to how he was carrying you. “You’re gonna be patient for me,” he said, hand running through your hair, “and you’re gonna be good,”. You nodded, eyes wide as he lifted you onto your bed, your legs slung over his shoulders still. 
As he moved you, his finger slid against your wet folds, his thumb toying at your clit, as he pulled inside of you. “Lando, fuck!” you moaned, eyes wide before squeezing shut, your hand instinctively tugging at the waist band of his joggers. “Someone’s needy,” he commented, letting you take his joggers down, his cock springing against his abdomen. 
His other hand wrapped around yours, pumping your hand up and down him as he groaned, your body squirming from his fingers. “Feels good, doesn’t it?” Lando smirked, your back arching for a second as you wriggled, his fingers pumping in and out, fully. “Open,” he said, his large hand on the back of your head, your lips parting a bit. “Really, Y/N?” Lando raised an eyebrow. 
“You know won’t fit,” he commented, hand pumping his own cock as you complied, opening further. Instantly, you felt his cock hit the back of your throat, before he fully pulled out, letting you dictate how far in he went. Your hand pumped the parts of his length that you couldn’t reach, his throbbing head hitting the back of your throat as you gagged, Lando’s other hand with his fingers still deep in you. 
“Fuck,” he pulled you off, he would cum merely at seeing your pretty little mouth struggling with his length. He lifted you onto his lap, lifting your thighs up, so he could align his throbbing dick with your folds. You whispered as he ran his dick through your folds a few times, before pushing into you slowly, your muscles tensing. 
“That’s it,” Lando cooed, one hand holding you up as he sank you down, the other cupping your cheek. “Open,” he said, your mouth falling open instantly. You flinched as he spat into your mouth, pressing his thumb to your tongue as you gagged slightly, resting your body weight on him. Lando turned you over, your body against his, legs round his hips as he slowly pushed into you, and then out again, before he quickened his pace. 
Your mouth fell open at his ever quickening speed, his hips slamming into you, one hand tangled in your hair, the other cupping your breasts as you tightened your arm round his neck, your head on his shoulder. “Lando, fuck feels s’good,” you moaned, body rocking quickly at his rough movements. 
“Been wanting to fuck you for ages,” he groaned, feeling your nails sink into his backs, clawing desperately, as if scratching would give you your orgasm, “look so pretty taking my cock baby,”. You loved the way he spoke, his words dirty, but his tone soft, so opposing to his rough slams. You felt the knot in your stomach building up at his words, your eyes rolling softly. “Told you I’d make them roll,” he smirked, grinning at you, “look pretty like that,” 
The knot in your stomach came undone as you sank your nails into his bare back, his chain dangling on your lips as his hips stuttered, his cheeks flushed red. “Gonna cum in you,” he said gruffly, hips jittering as his slams became messier and messier. “God, fuck,” he groaned, his cum pooling in you, the thick toped ropes hitting your insides as you moaned. “Mmm, fuck me, Lando,” the words came out, not even paying attention to what you were saying. 
“Just did,” he said, sitting up, your body slumped on his. “So fucking tight,” he groaned, holding your body as he pulled out, your pussy clenching round him as he did so. “Fuck, baby, you gotta let me go,” Lando chuckled, pulling you off of him fully. “That’s what you get for a DNF,” he snorted as you watched him, panting from your recent orgasm, “let’s see what happens when you win, love,”.
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GOD chapter 59 was SO GOOD n i have a lot to say so sending an ask instead of leaving it on the post.
i /love/ when you make things hyper detailed, because your shading techniques are so much fun to sit n stare at and soak in for a while. that being said, the coloring of the wine spilling is what does it for me this time. it still would have been really cool in bw, but not as cool as seeing all the shades of red over the dark blue bg. you did the glass really well too!! I don't think there's a noticeable difference between the wine color inside and outside the glass which is fine bc it's clear, so it RLY makes me appreciate the lighting you have around the glass rim to show the edge in contrast. that tiny little detail makes the image for me. stellar work. i love it
also i do wanna throw in appreciation for the handwritten serif. super well done at first glance it did look like you'd jus typed it out. idk what texture you have on the brush you use for words but it's rly nice to look at up close.
i think the color kinda tipped me off but i waffled bc i couldn't remember if either of his parents spoke in serif font and was a bit daunted to dig thru 50+ chapters to confirm who it was if it didn't turn out to be them. i'm glad i looked at your tags tho haha saved me the trouble. what a way to end the act too!! i read this one on my phone and was scrolling thru the images at full size and after four or so i kept expecting it to cut off. it was a very pleasant surprise to have it keep going, worth the wait to have a longer chapter :)
maybe it jus wasn't meant to be a la sabo getting the letter from sally. it might have to be stelly after all tho there are things that come before then. what a bad time to have one or both of his parents speak to him for the first time that night. oof can't wait for the next act lets goooo
Oh wowww what a beautifully long review!
Thanks so much im glad you like how it turned out, i’m really happy with it, too! Ive never drawn fluids like this before, but i really needed this page to have that extra kick because it was such a short one.
Because i couldnt figure out how to make this moment look slow mo with multiple different panels on one page, I really wanted to make a piece that is like,, frozen in time instead.
A page like this, you can keep on it as long as you’d like. You can make it as slow mo as you want it to be.
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The serif lettering is that of outlook’s!
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I dont know if you can see the difference between this and my usual handwriting, but it’s supposed to look taller. Higher up. Neater. Cleaner. (Still my handwriting though so like so actually neat or clean, but you know like,,, in comparison to the norm.)
His dad only talks in one scene, and his mother has never said anything yet, so i dont blame you if you couldnt find it. In my. Large repertoire of chapters ive accumulated.
I definitely felt the same about the pages when drawing them. But probably the opposite feeling lol. Mine was more like “ugh i forgot theres so many. How many more of these do I have to get through??? How did i do this the first act ending with 11 pages???”
Im so glad you guys are on the edge of your seats with the letter :)
Thanks for the ask!
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savannah733 · 2 days
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CONFESSIONS
( c.sturniolo )
Summary: you and the triplets had a sleepover but your childhood best friend Chris confessed his love to you..
Warnings: nth much ig kissing that's it 😘
Y/n | Chris | Matt | Nick
❃.✮:▹ ◃:✮.❃
Nickyy☆☆
Nick : y/n you should definitely come to our house for a sleepover tonight!
Sure : Y/n
Nick : okay, see you soon.
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It was already 6:00 pm, and you needed go to the triplets for a sleepover. You bought some candy to film a tiktok video with the triplets. You got all your stuff and called an Uber, "Hi, is this y/n?"
"Yup it is!".
When you got out of the Uber you went to the triplets front door and knocked, there was a big smile on Chris's face when he saw you at his front door. " hey y/n, I missed you soo much" he says with a sweet smile on his face, "Oh hey chris, you seem really happy today" you said with a giggle on your face. He welcome you while he shouted "Nick, Matt y/n's here come say hi", Nick immediately runs over to you when he saw you and gave you a big hug and said hi . Matt said " Hey y/n , by the way what are inside of these bags? " " yeah y/n what are inside these bags? " he said while peeking inside the bag. Nick and Matt looks after Chris looked, "Could you maybe explain us why is their candy, and why is their a LOT of it? " he said while being confused, you giggle a little bit, you explain you guys were doing the candy salad tiktok trend. " I thought it be fun if we did a candy salad like the tiktok trend and each take turns and eat them afterwards!" Everyone agree to do it thinking it seems very fun and Nick has also seen other people do it so he wanted to do it too. You set up your phone with a water bottle and you guys started doing the tiktok.
After you guys were done doing the tiktok and taking turns you guys started eating the candy salad, you guys each toke a bowl and put the candy salad into your guys bowl. After some talking you all decided to go to Chris room and watch some tv, "Guys I'm tired, and is very uncomfortable sitting on the edge of the bed so I'm going to my room" "Good night Nick!" We all said while giggling because we were on in sync.
"Guys Im going to wash the dishes in the kitchen" you said while getting up from the bed " Nono I'll do it " he said while stopping you from going by holding your wrist "Is fine Chris and I also have to grab something I left in the kitchen earlier" "okay I guess" Chris said while slowly laying back down in his bed. Y/n left to the kitchen by closing the door and leaving Matt and Chris, "Chris something is going on with you these couple of days" Matt said with a little side eye "And can you tell me what is it MATTHEW" "you've been acting really weird around y/n like for example, last week when you hold her waist and hold her hand while you guys were walking around the theme park . And also you have been really looking at y/n and getting distracted by her, saying she's pretty and good looking and I feel like you like her or something." He said while looking at Chris who looks like is blushing really hard. "Fine, I like her, like really like her she's just so pretty, gorgeous, and when she smiles she looks so cute I just love her so much and the way she tal-" he gets cut off by Matt who looks speechless and shocked. "OMGGG I knew it , you do like her yes , but why don't you just confessed to her I bet she likes you too . You two would look so cute together" " idk man maybe I'm just nervous that she won't like me back" "hey guys!, so what were you guys talking about " she said . The two guys look so freak out by what to say but Matt hit Chris softly and let's just say Chris knows what was he trying to do.
"Y/n I have something to say to you.." Chris says with a nervous voice rethinking should he have done this or not , "yeah what's up?" Y/n said very calmly. "I like you y/n like Really REALLY like you , your so pretty,amazing and gorgeous and so cute and I've liked you for a long time now. And maybe I can take you on a date sometimes?"
Y/N' s POV
OMG no way Chris just said that to me I feel so happy right now, I've loved him for years now and now he's confessing his love for me OMG . I'm blushing so hard right now , I don't even know what to say.
But all I really want to do is say yes to everything that he just said to me .
END OF Y/N' s POV
CHRIS' s POV
I'm so nervous by what she's going to say to me,I don't even know why did I even did this but hopefully I don't regret this decision and hopefully this also doesn't ruin our friendship. I really truly love her appreciate everything she have ever done for me .
But all I really want to hear is her saying yes to everything that I just said.
END OF CHRIS' s POV
"So what do you say y/n?" He asked while being so heated up and just hoping she says yes to his question, "yes Chris, Yes I love you so much and forever will, and I will also love to go to the date with you" you said with a big smile on your face while you both blush .
After you said yes to his question, he immediately pull you into a kiss which turn into make out session. "Ugh, disgusting, I can't watch this im going to my room and goodnight,..ig" Matt said while being disgusted by you two. You both laugh at him as you two finished your kissed as he ran to his room.
"I love you Chris" you said while laying beside him on his bed,with your hands on his chest as his right hand hold your waist. "I love you more baby" " not on my watch " you two both giggle while falling asleep super close.
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Hope you guys like this one is not much but yeah ig ✌️
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edenfire · 4 months
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🪽💗 I wanted to save you the anguish it takes to do what was required 💗🪽
sera has such a detailed design, but she was still fun to draw💞 tho I wonder if I should have given her a more intense expression lol🤔
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moeblob · 5 months
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I'm so close...... NY!Hrid is at +9. One more and I can drop the game.... I just love him so much and this alt is so happy and I need it for him...
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bigothteddies · 29 days
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I talk a lot of fucking crap but I do have a little black book filled with everything I’ve been told about the tumblr doms on here and all the fucked up shit they’ve done. Creators talk to each other. The friendships aren’t just for show. I’m not saying I have “dirt” on anyone or that I’m friends with everyone and have heard everything or that what I’ve been told is even accurate. What I am saying is I have a good fucking reason to be so spiteful towards a lot of doms on this site, both for things they’ve personally done to people I know and for the long and storied cycle of popular doms on here being outted as abusers and groomers after they’ve been found out.
#unimportant thoughts#I don’t know im not like. a fan of cancelling stuff especially since so much latelt has been used as a tactic against marginalized groups#and its not like i havent done shit#i dont pretend to be perfect I know theres people out there who get pissed seeing my url on here and feel I shouldnt have a place here#its part of the reason i discourage people from viewing me as a ‘safe’ dom or as a ‘good’ dom on here#im just a person. good or bad.#keep your eyes and ears and wits about you in internet spaces ALWAYS#anyways#seriously. i domt just talk shit because i dislike them#i talk shit because they people have secret wives#because they are very clearly taking advantage of someone half their age and manipulating them into thinking its a normal relationship#<- and I DONT say that because im inherently against age gaps#i talk shit because they have cameras in girls rooms who dont even know their name and if i had to guess?#sounds like a dark corner of the internet illegal sex cam scheme to me#i talk shit because they’re in the DM’s of my friends and peers trying to convince them to join their cause#i talk shit because they only reason the stopped playing with that tumblr girls heart as a replacement for who they really wanted is because#they were TOLD to stop doing so#i talk shit because the reason people started being mean to Boss wasnt because he was cringe it was because he was a vile and abusive person#i dont talk shit just because i hate competition! i dont talk shit just because im trying to make myself seem safe!#i talk shit because these people and their actions genuinely bother me and i wish they didnt have a platform !#anyways we’ll see how long this stays up its dangerously close to starting shit i shouldnt be starting
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the-gayest-sky-kid · 1 year
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i hate it when people will like have no ships right they'll not include a ship in anything but will also like. delete the entire relationship too. like look here's a hyperspecific example that only i care about
venti and the traveler (aether in my case) are a ship that exists. i like aeventi a good bit. some people dont and thats cool. but venti and the traveler are also FRIENDS. they canonically care about each other a good bit, theres text and voicelines and cutscenes that like prove this 70 times over. and i find sacrificing that bit of canon just because you dont view them romantically odd
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bitegore · 2 months
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idk about the rest of you but i genuinely don't make decisions high that I wouldn't make sober
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infizero · 7 months
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why isgrian shipping the warden and the wither
#?#serena.txt#serena.live#slsmp spoilers#also grian reeling from jimmys death only to shriek mumbo's name when he dies immediately after and saying ''this wasnt the plan!!''#do i even need to say my whole spiel at this point#so funny to me how grian has multiple times done a thing where hes accidentally caused violence/death for ppl he likes#in the middle of INTENTIONALLY causing violence/death for others#like him killing ren only to realize afterward he'd inadvertently killed big b as well. i dont know#something about him cackling and laughing at scar being chased by the wither#only for him to be all shocked by mumbo dying to the warden. i feel like he had two very different responses there.#if you're someone who takes every opportunity he can get to hurt people. is it any wonder you keep ''accidentally'' hurting#those around you as well?#that girl is dangerous to be around. thats all im saying#we all know this but like friend or foe being with grian is not going to end well for you its just not#now idk if this really counts for widows curse. its tricky this season#etho and cleo are grian's teammates but are they really who hes CLOSEST to? idk.#for me i'd say i don't think either of mumbo's deaths count as like The Death that would continue the tradition#i think it'd have to be etho or cleo for me to count it. but mumbo's deaths definitely fall in line with this same pattern of#people close to grian dying due in some part to him#and hey if etho and cleo dont end up having a death that fits the bill then you KNOW i will actually be taking mumbo's as the one#this is all about my silly little ideas and what suits them best
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lbhslefttiddie · 1 year
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Update: I read the fic instead of sleeping and got juked into around 40k words of YQY and SY father-son relationship feels and then maybe 9k more of actual Qijiu starting to happen (?). I'm fucking dying. I'm also crying as I type this because the entire sequence of the past few chapters is just :^)
eh... you mean mouse on the thorn? its not actually that long is i
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what the fUCK
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valpuduzz · 1 month
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im so sorry to my mutuals i promise i dont wanna vent in here all the time because i know it can be extremely exhausting to be around such negativity and i do wanna make more funny posts but shit keeps happening and venting about it in the tags is sorta comforting in a way
#the meowing of a cat 🐱#anyways. it is 5am and i cannot sleep because im not tired and also because i fucking hate myself#i wanna isolate myself from everyone#i really do#i really really really do. but i cant and i wont. dont worry.#actually i think i just wanna isolate myself from my crush because it's the only way i know the feelings will go away#but i cant#and i dont want to#YES IM VENTING ABOUT MY CRUSH AGAIN. I HATE IT TOO OKAY#im such a fucking incel and i hate it i hate it#im literally mister nice guy redditor#because i have so much love to give and i hate the fact he will never reciprocate. he doesnt even see me as a close enough friend#i just want to tell him how much i love him but i cant because i told him once and you cant confess again#that's not how that works#please why cant i accept he doesnt like me back why cant i accept it i just want to accept it#i want to let go i want to let go i want to let go but i cant i fucking cant and i hate it#please please please i just want to learn to live with the fact he wont and never will love me back#but i fucking cant. ive tried fucking everything. ive tried so fucking hard. and i always come back loving him more#wish i could punch my brain and my heart repeatedly. i just want to accept this that's all i fucking want#but i cant. and i overthink so hard i overthink every interaction i have with him#i want to let him know i love him but i dont wanna be a creep. he probably already thinks im a creep#but ofc he's so sweet he will never let me know that#i cant sleep and my leg hurts and my finger hurts and im shaking#i just. i really want to tell him the amount of love i have for him. but i cant anymore#he has been done wrong by many people. i wish i could give him my love. but i cant force someone to love me#god im such a Nice Guy incel.... i hate it#dont get me wrong he makes me so fucking happy. it's just the fact that i know he will never love me#and how i will never get to show my love for him fucks me up#i want to show him so badly but the love for him i hold is so overwhelming i cant possibly do that without being seen as a creep#please i just want to let go i want to accept it i want to accept he will NEVER fucking love me but i cant
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this-doesnt-endd · 3 months
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I used to have a really giant family like tons of tias and tios and cousins and i say used to cause like it seems like after my grandparents died on both sides both families seemed to never speak again and i had no chance to even try and keep hold of those ties i was in elementary school watching my parents marriage crash and burn in real time dealing with major death in the family and then subsequent family abandoning me at the tender age of 11. Hell my brothers were older and jumped ship it was just me and the horrors
#my moms dad and my dads mom were like the heads of their families and they both died really close to each other#but my grandma and a tio on my moms side died within 3 days of each other after being in hospice literally 3 doors away from each other#for months and my parents both took the roles of like taking care of everything and being the descision makers cause no one else would#which im sure was super traumatizing in everyway possible but their siblings both seemed to resent them in ways#when they didnt want to be those people but had to be and they arent even the oldest siblings they are both like 3rd youngest#but like it just ruined the families and me and mom and my dad were all at the hospital or hospice center for months#we were there every day and night i remember it so much i can get anywhere in any hospital in my town using the stairwells#like i knew them that well#it also likely ruined my parents marriage which was bumpy before the intense major tragedy#which like yaknow what fair it was a lot to deal with ontop of like trying to crawl ur way out of the recession#but after all was said and done i talk to no one on my dads side i bearly talk to my older brother#and i talk to like my nina and two tias on my moms side and occassionally a few cousins#when theyre arent being fucking insane and unhinged#idk i loved having a huge family the like going to 5 houses on christmas type#going to birthdays or weddings and seeing everyone taking at least 45 mins to say bye to everyone#and now its gone and i wont ever get it back#and its by no fault of my own cause i was literally 11 and every adult decided i was gonna pay the price too#like i think abt when i get married its not gonna be what i thought itd be or when i get my first movie in theatres#im not gonna have the major family celebration ill have all my friends which im so greafull for#but its not the same yaknow#and id love to have that relatiomship with my family again but like where do u start when its been over 10+ years#like they remember 11 year old me if they remember me#and thats part of the problem#like on my moms side specifically i have some family who acts like theyve never met me before when i used to see them every weekend#and it was a major failing on my part as an 11 year old for not keeping in touch even tho we did my mom calls everyone and she tried#but people didnt want to return it#and as for my dads side its the same and if it was a moral failing for me as an 11 yr old to not reach out and they didnt like my mom much#my grandma fucking loved her but the rest of the family didnt and like i lived w my mom and was fucking 11 i couldnt go anhwhere by myself#and i didnt like not being places without a parent and i hated sleepovers i refused and they took it so personal#and they stopped talking to my dad and bad mouthed him and still do nd ill never allow that around me my dad isnt perfect but hes a good man
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todayisafridaynight · 8 months
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interrupting non-rgg posting with non-rgg posting do you guys wanna look over my pros-vs-cons list of grocery shopping today thanks
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stinkrascal · 1 year
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i emailed tumblr support again abt my posts getting flagged, so hopefully this time the issue will be fixed!! i miss posting my story so bad you guys :(
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crest-of-gautier · 10 months
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made an eeny bit of progress in pq today... im like maybe 80% through the 3rd floor of you in wonderland and currently level 11...!
#pq#lizz.jpg#lizz.txt#i love how i say 'eeny' as if i did not play for like four hours. LOL.. i think i wanna play in smaller chunks next time#yall... i have so much fear of those gosh darn card soldiers... i dont want to know what my life is going to be like if they give f.o.e.s-#more gimmicks... THEY ARENT BAD I JUST. I REALLY DONT LIKE THE F.O.E. STARING AT ME#my (ougouoguough) of the f.o.e.s is so real that if i have energy i would totally make a doodle about it#dont really have much interesting things 2 report... i think next play session ill probably end up finishing the labryinth#it seems pretty close to done tbh esp since i stopped b4 the room with the three fucking f.o.e.s and im like#'i do not have the mental energy to figure out how to do this' (they say and proceed to write a text wall)#and im guessing we'll get to see the investigation team after finishing the labryinth?#the games being like REALLY silly right now but im like. squinting so hard at zen and rei you have NO idea how sus these guys are to me#not to go against my 'im not intelligent on this blog' policy but theres something about a thing that elizabeth said early on thats like#alerting the lizz sus radars. she said something like you wouldnt find living humans here and that they might theoretically be an entity-#that merged w/personas and shadows AND TO ME THIS IS A HGUE RED FLAG???#LIKE.... me just looking at how RYOJI fucking mochizuki is a thing and im like “ah i see now why they set it before ryoji” BECAUSE !!! AAA#because at this point sees wouldn't have met an entity like ryoji who is fucking shadow that is humanized by minato so uh like#if they met ryoji and were past dec 2 AND THEN PQ'D IT UP then they'd look at zen and rei in addition to what elizabeth said#then IDK WHAT IM SAYING BUT LIKE ZEN AND REI HAVE TO BE SOME KINDA ENTITY AND I DONT KNOW WHAT#for shits and giggles ill say death bc i like death as a thematic thing LMAOOO im a really delulu little guy rn dont talk to me#um. im being really normal right now yeah uh this should've gone under a read more oops ill do that next time#for my own sanity i will NOT go into what thoughts are brewing in my head (hypothezing what time the p4 cast was pulled from-#BUT ALSO THE WAY TEDDIE ALSO falls into elizabeth's description UGH screams into. a bucket.)#anyway for. something. thats not me spitballing i hope that i can see yosuke soon.. i want him in my party!!!!#i rlly like the game mechanics and while zen and rei have been great 2 start with they cant equip subpersonas... ough#ok thats. thats all. i did not expect to text ramble but (THIS IS ME WE ARE TALKING ABOUT i cannot shut up)#im having fun though!!!! its been nice to play smthn else for once LMAO i wonder how much ill get through b4 the month ends
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years
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#had my 1st meeting with a potential adviser for a phd project#i think it went well. he was excited thst i was interested in the specific papers i listed my my email#and his lab does some super cool stuff. and he seems like a nice guy#so thats all exciting. i think the lab is only like a few degrees away from being an outstanding pick#ugh but its so close tho. like biochem and Evolutionary genertic stuff. id probably do a degree in ecology and evolution#and the department is evolutionary genetics focused. which sounds crazy cool. like i dont wanna hang with agriculture ppl. bring me the#Evolutionary biologists. plus they have some nasa ties and a big astrobiology guy is coming back to the department#and if i go. id prob get to do some work at [redacted] national park! which is an even bigger deal than the work ive done at [redacted]#national park! it would be a big change tho. more cold and snowy than the literal desert#so like im def gonna apply. and hopefully get in and hopefully visit. and we'll see what happens#im still looking at my options but this one seems pretty damn good to me#fingers crossed 🤞 i suppose#unrelated#god. it really seems like the lab is a good fit tho. like when i talk to Ecologists im like haha yea im not an ecologist#bc they wanna look for broad patterns in a big system. and im like nah fuck that. i wanna kno how this specific thing works#which i think is more his labs vibe and is why im currently not having fun with the stuff i do rn#ah we'll see where i find myself in a year#i would prob still be equally far from home tho lol. just at higher lattitude
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