#im getting medicine though

[themmatennant]

swimmers ear

turns out my ear is actually super infected because of a shit ton of earwax. the nurses had to flush my ears out with warm water like eleven times until the wax was gone enough to even see my eardrum

#ear infections #the other ear is fine thoughh #my ear hurts #i put swimmers ear drops in and it felt like someone was carving out my eardrum with dull white hot razor blades #im getting medicine though #never using q-tips in my ears again

[kagooleo]

johto’s champion and chronicler for the deity of the ilex shrine, it’s lyra!🌿

this one took me a while due to trying out different techniques (studying a Lot of art nouveau) and making a couple changes to her outfit (the details help), but I’d like to think she’s learned a lot in her journey and wanted to reflect her experience more in her champion fit

her specialty would be in fairy types and her meganium’s divergent evolution is grass/fairy 🧚🪷

and a bonus w/ the johto gang after the photoshoot!

#kagarts #trainer lyra #meganium #pokemon hgss #get ready for a bigass tag wall again HYAH #her team picks are meganium (grass/fairy + shiny!) azumarill togekiss alola ninetales gardevoir and clefable (mega evolves for fairy/steel) #terrains and high sp atk + statuses galore + her dino can cause a stronger confusion (like toxic w badly poisoned but its w/ Bad headaches) #i'll probably make changes as i go design wise for meganium but colors were inspo from sampaguita flowers #the flower's associated with true friendship and utilized in medicines or given as good gestures in various traditions and celebrations #and also bc she's 🇵🇭 babey!!!!!!!! i'm slapping all my favs w the pinoy beam and not even the dinos are safe >:] #since her dino is shiny a lot of the colors are just a few color diffs where the little orbs are + warmer tones. gotta make a ref sometime #not sure if I should tag the others bc the focus is on her. but the quartet always pulls thru for each other #i like thinking silver gets comfortable enough to be the friend that's “s'cuse you my Friend asked for No pickles” #silver in line picking up her food like “yeah yeah i know her and btw that’s CHAMPION lyra to you. YES she ordered a strawberry shake” #both of their meganiums are Best friends and silver likely uses his dino when you rematch him (and his would beee grass/dragon) #calling this piece Done though oh my god this semester has been nuts. don't wanna take any longer on a single piece or i'm eating tree bark #tumblr's gonna kill the quality on it but idgaf im Done. i need to tidy up my sheezy now

[puppyeared]

adhd is when you shoot for the moon but you forgot the rocket fuel and by the time you realize it everyones already on the moon and then you panic and crash into the sun and it explodes

#my meds stopped working and i didnt know thats something that can fucking happen apparently??? #like i knew eventually my body can get used to medicine that the effect kind of dulls but for some reason this time around i thought #that my body just decided to become lazier since the meds were already working anyway. cuz thats the thing as soon as smth is made #easier for me even if its the thing thats supposed to make the disability less disabling i get too relaxed and end up fucking up anyway #so i assumed my fucking cells worked the same way LMAO. they still technically work like i can feel my energy spike when it kicks in #but everything else like focus and memory went down and i thought oh so its just a me problem then. my habits are getting worse #even though ive been doing everything the same like setting reminders checking my schedule. hell ive been setting MORE reminders #to make up for the memory thing and i didnt even realize i just knew i had to compensate since it feels like my memory is getting #worse again. and i only figured this out bc my brother showed me an icecreamsandwich video with him talking about the EXACT FUCKING #THING IM GOING THRU WORD FOR WORD #i have to bring this up with my doctor next week so maybe i have to take different meds. i wonder if this will be a recurring thing #i guess one thing that hasnt changed is that im still slow as hell and stuff only comes to me 5 hours after the fact #its 6 in the morning and i only JUST realized that the word froyo is probably short for frozen yogurt #yapping #adhd

[needylittlegirl]

ahh i feel yucky

#just mad about life again <3 #mad that my doctors told me not to go to college yet #and now that i probably could if this medicine works #i dont see the point anymore #what i wanted to do wouldnt get me anywhere #i just found that out without even trying it for myself #like i guess its good cause i dont have loans lol! #but i wish i wouldve had one shot to try it out #like. im a kid im supposed to find stuff out the hard way right?? #yeah i got the easy way out financially and time wise but. i didnt even get to try i didnt even get to see what it couldve been like #and im mad i spent all of my youth with my shitty stupid ex that just had to rape and abuse me like it didnt even matter #im mad that he gets to ruin any future relationship i have even though he isnt around anymore #it isnt fair none of its fair #im gonna be 21 next month and all i know is not even getting the chance to fail and not even knowing what love is supposed to look like #what do i have to show for any of it? #i look at people i grew up around and theyre all finding their ways and doing things we talked about when we were kids #ive always felt like im just watching everyone grow up like a tv. im just sitting infront of it and theyre all going #and i thought maybe that wouldve changed by now i thought maybe id catch up #maybe i was naive or stupid to think it would change because it hasnt #im scared that im just gonna be one of those people that just doesnt really ever do anything #and it wasnt even up to me! i had such big dreams and then i had to have some stupid pains #and some stupid doctor had to tell me to hold off for a year #and its like the drain was pulled in a bathtub and everything just started to go down #whatever #im done ill be fine #tbd

[mintaikcorpse]

Me when barely eating for a week starts to feel like I've barely eaten for a week

#well well well if it isn't the consequences of my own actions #its not an ed or anything its literally me not being hungry when i get up #not liking whats on the school menu #lunch starting at 10:am for some reason #and anxiety #im so fucking hungry though and im shaking and tired and cold and moody and i hate everyone #but at the same time now im used to the feeling and then i feel sick after i eat #FUCK MY ADHD MEDS THIS IS THEIR FAULT #THEY MAKE ME NOT HUNGRY #AND THEN SICK WHEN I DO EAT #For the past week my main meals have been my meds #and then either skipping dinner cuz we're fucking broke and dont have food #god i hate it here #my meals have been a couple bites of rice because i didnt lkke the chicken and after taste #mcdonald's yesterday #and then medicine #fuck this #rambling #problems #venting #tags

[cowboysmp3]

it is so incredibly hard to not book/organise things prematurely for my move bc i don’t want to accidentally send post to my airbnb way early before my stay BUT ALSO GOD !!!!!! I WANT TO SORT THINGS

#i need to get a new phone bill but i know i can sort that out much much closer to the time #there’s like admin stuff i desperately want to do #it’s happening so soon #3 weeks!!!! #i have to do the last clearing up once i’m home #and then it’s like. packing #i also have to buy some things which is fine but i also can’t do that until im home #i also tried to call my gp and i think bc im not in the uk my calls r bouncing >:( #which means i don’t have a huge amount of time to organise getting an advance on my medicine #i booked french classes though !!! #and my trains to see my brother #and when i get home from here ill be back on the job search #altho lll start doing that again over the next few days

[selamat-linting]

yknow, the way "get help" and "get therapy" become the go to words to tell someone off is annoying. it comes across as insincere. especially when you know the usual context of its usage and how bad psychiatry is as an institution. the biomedical model of mental illness is based off of pseudoscience, many therapists are several kinds of bigoted, and plenty of the mindfulness advice can only act as a temporary measure if the source of the trauma (material conditions) arent properly addressed. a lot of people came out worse out of psychiatry.

people say get help, get therapy. as if its easy. they dont think of the kind of hoops and cost one had to go through to even access a proper therapist. or finding a medication that work. worst case scenario of "getting help" isnt that nothing changes, the worst case is becoming involuntarily hospitalized, abused and violated by medical staffs, and take meds that gave you side effects you dont want and were not informed of. like, im not saying therapy and meds are useless, every case of mental illness is different and you should choose therapy and/or meds if it works, but therapy isnt a cure for all for all kinds of behavior that you dont like. stop saying "get therapy" when what you truly want to say is "get out of my face you dumb fuck"

disclaimer, i dont think the words "get help" or "get therapy" is inherently wrong. i think its the intention behind it that matters. and im the kind of person who'd like it better if people say what they truly mean. and oftentimes i see that "get therapy" is used as just a gentle way of telling someone to disappear off the face of the earth until they can learn to be a normal and pleasant member of society. not actual concern. a way of being mean without being painted as an asshole. thats so fake. and kind of ableist tbh. like, i'd rather have people telling me to outright kill myself than to have them tell me to go get therapy. at least theyre honest.

#anti psychiatry #disc horse #like. i went to a therapist and i didnt even get a cbt workbook #i got meds. one which did help me and i still take #and another one that help at first #but is highly addictive. and my therapist doesnt care. she just kept prescribing me even when i told her that i dont want to end up like #my addict father. and now i cant stop taking the medicine even though i hate it because i will actually get withdrawal symptoms if i stop #so yeah. i cant say i came out better or worse after getting help. but im still a lucky few compared to many horror stories abt psychiatry

[lesbians4scully]

can anyone explain why ive been slingshotted back into loving the 1975 like im 15yrs old waiting for abiior to drop again

#ITS ALL CONSUMING !! #ah i do love their music though. veeery jelly of everyone who got to see then at r+l #(even though ive seen milk and paris and people and loving someone and medicine live #and me. i ugly cried he wouldn’t break eye contact w me it was mortifying i was like please stop singing directly at me im having a Moment #maybe i need to get tickets again #the 1975

[sitzfleischh]

Suffering from covid booster + flu shot vaccine side effects, it's time to finally watch The Terror (2018)

#feel like right shit #WORTH IT THOUGH #GET YER SHOTS!!!! #every time i get a flu shot i am winning against my mother who refused to get my brother and i the flu shot for our entire childhoods #sometimes i think about how indoctrinated i was into anti-medicine shit until very recently and im like GIRL YOU LIVED LIKE THIS?? #when I got my first flu shot in 2020 and had literally zero side effects i was like IT'S BEEN EASY THIS WHOLE TIME??? #anyway my mum is not antivax & she did get her her covid shots but #she's.... hesitant #and won't do it unless she feels she really has to #sitzfleischh.txt #i took dayquil for the first time in first year uni and had a similar experience of being like WHAT DO YOU MEAN MEDICINE ACTUALLY WORKS???? #anyway shoutout to heather for being like ''please you are allowed to use tylenol it's not evil or cheating'' repeatedly until i got it

[pepprs]

idk how to reconcile my new self with my old self. also i fucking hate waiting. GRAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#delete later #im getting a taste of my own medicine bc when im overwhelmed depressed etc i don’t even open emails or dms or whatever and then ifeel guilty #and let them build up and run away from them and literally do not reply for years. but ive been waiting for like 5 different but related #replies for 3ish days at this point and im soooooo impatient omg i want to bash my head into the wall.. and afaik no one i messaged has #opened the message despite being active online elsewhere which is EXACTLY what i do so i have no right to complain at all. but still. omggg #i just have a simple question (me and the ps5 voice) reply to my message boy #purrs #also.. ok yeah im gonna be honest about it even if there are consequences lol. idk why im on such a mission to get back all my old #characters but if i don’t i can and will go crazy. i don’t even do that kind of thing anymore and d*viantart is an irreversibly warped #landscape due in part to capitalism and in part to own mistakes and selfish actions. and i truly feel like my tumblr mutuals are the only #ones who understand me and feel safe and cozy on here. but i miss my old internet home. and i really miss my old internet friends and seeing #all the jokes we had and how we were all like interconnected w the same adopt groups and stuff and now we don’t even talk… it makes me so #sad and i feel weird messaging them just for the purpose of asking if they can give me back characters i gave them 4 years ago like a) you j #just don’t do that kind of thing i don’t think but b) it feels so transactional and would make the part of saying hey our friendship was #important to me when i was a teenager and even though we don’t talk anymore i think of you fondly and wish you well. like lollllll. and i #feel cringe even tracking them down / messaging them bc we are all jn our 20s now… embarrassing. but i am so mad at myself for letting those #friendships wither (not that i have the spoons to sustain them these days anyway but still) and for not keeping bettr track of my characters #when i sold them and for giving them up in the first place and for letting my old internet life just fall apart due to neglect bc it puts me #in a bind to try to piece it together again no matter how i try it and i shouldn’t try anyway. but i am so tempted to rn. lol #* itd make saying stuff abt appreciating friendship weird bc there’s a transaction tied in (source: i did this and feel weird and bad) #like the way i want to SCREAM seeing that dA ate all of the journals i made when i was a 14 year old and turned them into glitched polls. th #the way the wayback machine has terrible unreliable records of everything and i can never get some stuff back / track some stuff down. pain #anyways it’s stupid bc i feel cozy and listened to and as connected as i have the energy to be to all of u guys so why am i doing this. but #i miss the dA stuff too and i wish it wasn’t cringe and i wish i could have everything that’s ever been part of me all in one place. lol #also this doesn’t even take into account my poetry community on dA on my other account who i also felt so safe and cozy with and i abandoned #that too and lost touch with basically everyone even though we all knew each others deepest secrets for years.. the heartsickness of it all #anyways mutuals who knew me on deviantart i am clutching both your hands with impassioned urgency and kissing u on the cheeks. that’s all

[fangomango]

Love the way that I'm so sick I want to die but I still have to go to school even though last I check most doctors didn't recommend that

#like i feel nauseous and i cant breat #im coughing like a horse stelped on my lungs #but who cares that most doctors tell you to rest and take medicine #i got spanish work to do :D #...all lf that was sarcasm...i wish i was at home...laying down...resting #because what sucks is that...i can dl so much of my school work at home so if i have the opportunity to stay home #and work and feel better....why not take it #i think my mother thinks im faking it #which can we talk about that #how come when im sick at home over the weekend we all believe im sick and need to rest but the second i wake up that Monday morning and #still feel sick its all “you can still work” and like...i feel sick fucking walking #idk if you know this but i have to do alot of walking...mostly very far distances #we were all fine with me laying down all day yesterday feeling sick but the second i want to rest on a school day its illegal... #...my mother told me that i can go to the nurse....only if i #ima put a warning for the mention of throw up (though its only the word...i. not getting into detail) but its mostly for my sake #anyway she said i can go to the nurse only if i throw up....when she fucking knows im scared of throwing up #my fear of throwing up...even fucking feeling nauseous makes me feel 1000 times sicker then i normally feel

[princekirijo]

Man I've been so sleepy

#im so sorry if ive seemed down lately lol im just so sleepy 😭 #also dealing with the horrors but thats the usual at this point #i think its a combination of me not sleeping that great? and also this medicine ive been taking #to help with congestion in my nose #love a weather change + coming down from covid #its kinda annoying though cause i wanna interact more on here :[ #my askbox been kinda quiet lately (so so sorry to that one anon) #your question has been sitting in my box for a while 😭 its a great question but im just kinda nervous about it #but yeah september man. not fun #its also annoying because i am finding its affecting my drawing #AND i havent been able to ramble about blorbos :[ even though i have thoughts especially my lad #anyway idk why im making this post lmao im just bored and talking into the void and updating yall. ig. #and yeah apologizing if ive been like negative lately. yeah #love yall ill try get some sleep might help fight the drowsiness

[absintheancandle]

ooouuuuuu eds dazai YES!!!! one time i dislocated my kneecap by sitting down wrong and my parents took me to the er but while they were getting ready to do tests i popped it back in on accident, i feel like dazai would absolutely do that to mess with people.

OH HE WOULD ABSOLUTELY DO WEIRD BONE THINGS ON PURPOSE TO FUCK WITH PEOPLE. i tthink its even funnier when its on accident though bc hes like.

i forgot what atsushi looks like. but like. i love the idea of him simply doing dislocations, subfluxes, and hyperflexing on purpose and on accident sooo much and people cant tell whats on purpose or not after a certain point. dazai emergency room and walking out of there perfectly fine my LOVE

#answered #i was gonna say i think i've never dislocated before but i think i just haven't been able to tell if i have or not #i feel like half the time i've woken up and my limbs did a really loud sound and felt like they Moved back into place mightve. #that mightve been something but i never realized it. #aspd haver moments "oh haha my collarbones keep making really weird sounds when i make them after i woke up today! #anyways time to go outside. :)'' #also unrelated but ive been to the emergency room once and it was recent. and they said they were gonna have to do surgery #and i was in severe pain so before that point they put me on A Pain Medicine (narcotic! a drug!!!) #and man i didnt care about the pain even when we drove there. it was the worst pain ever in my whole life other than the orthodonist thing #and my only reaction to the whole thing was OUUHGOOUU HG OOHOHOHOHO !!!!!! #(was way wy too excited and knew that it was strange so i had to keep it inside and keep myself from going off about how cool it was #how cool i thought it was they were putting a narcotic in me for no reason other than OUGH DRUG #and how exxcited i was that i might be operated on bc OHOGH GCUT ME OPEN ?? WHAT?? CUT ME OPEN??) #the pain meant NOTHING to me. i was just so excited at the concept of being opened up even though i was actually being potentially #threatened with dying a very painful and terrible death #death?> who cares. IM GONNA GET CUT OPEN!!!!! and then i wasnt because i had a different issue that could be fixed at home. SAD.

[delicatepointofview]

@ harry here is how you can still add daydreaming to the setlist:

#sir you got space in there if youre putting medicine #tbf though #i think the us is definitely getting daydreaming and more of hsh #because they already had love on tour last year #and he's got plenty PLENTY of dates there to play around with the setlist #he could play his entire discography if he wanted to lmao #im just praying the rest of us #get it too

[toyherb]

ford has rescued me after fainting like 4 times now do you think he likes me 😳

#3ot diary #but fr though hes kind of my favorite out of the men so far #hes such a little weirdo. obsessed with medicine headass. #i havent gotten very close with everyone else yet though. im on summer 19th. #i seem to be progressing very fast though bc i chose the tycoon personality trait 💀 #i thought my character would just be very good at selling stuff but no. you get 50k starting funds. like holy shit. #kinda feels like cheating but i have westown at rank c and both tsuyukasa and lulukoko are d #which is insane bc tsuyukasa unlocked like 2 weeks ago?? #idk why it went up so fast #maybe its bc i bought so much stuff from them #meanwhile i only really shop at ludus's shop in lulukoko #anyway... my money is gone i only have 7 k now #but earning money is also really easy since i have so many crops #thankfully it doesnt destroy my stamina like in other games. thats what trees and boulders are for.

[saturneves]

i think i have pmdd and it’s starting to drive me crazy because the impact it’s having on my life is...not good

#i've done my research and i checked most if not all of the boxes for it #:) #the week leading up to my period is literal hell on earth #physically it's not That bad (that usually comes with the period itself) other than the fact that im a bit sore sometimes #but mentally #god #i get so anxious that i need to double my medicine before going to bed #i'm so irritable and downright angry that i can't even be around my family right now without biting their heads off #which i hate because i don't want to be an angry person #but i can't stand them and they've done literally nothing wrong #the week before my period i also get depressed and every single cell in my body feels heavy and wrong #i don't feel like i'm awake #and the symptom i've 'feared' has been sneaking up on me over the last 2-3 cycles #now along with the depression i'm having suicidal thoughts which i normally don't have despite not doing well #and that kind of scares me #i won't act on them but they ARE very strong and usually just come out of nowhere before my period #so basically the 4-5 days leading up to my period i'm extremely anxious depressed and borderline suicidal at this point #i need to go get myself diagnosed and find some sort of treatment because i don't want to live like this #SORRY i don't like to vent like this but i need to let it out #might delete later though