#THING IM GOING THRU WORD FOR WORD

[puppyeared]

adhd is when you shoot for the moon but you forgot the rocket fuel and by the time you realize it everyones already on the moon and then you panic and crash into the sun and it explodes

#my meds stopped working and i didnt know thats something that can fucking happen apparently??? #like i knew eventually my body can get used to medicine that the effect kind of dulls but for some reason this time around i thought #that my body just decided to become lazier since the meds were already working anyway. cuz thats the thing as soon as smth is made #easier for me even if its the thing thats supposed to make the disability less disabling i get too relaxed and end up fucking up anyway #so i assumed my fucking cells worked the same way LMAO. they still technically work like i can feel my energy spike when it kicks in #but everything else like focus and memory went down and i thought oh so its just a me problem then. my habits are getting worse #even though ive been doing everything the same like setting reminders checking my schedule. hell ive been setting MORE reminders #to make up for the memory thing and i didnt even realize i just knew i had to compensate since it feels like my memory is getting #worse again. and i only figured this out bc my brother showed me an icecreamsandwich video with him talking about the EXACT FUCKING #THING IM GOING THRU WORD FOR WORD #i have to bring this up with my doctor next week so maybe i have to take different meds. i wonder if this will be a recurring thing #i guess one thing that hasnt changed is that im still slow as hell and stuff only comes to me 5 hours after the fact #its 6 in the morning and i only JUST realized that the word froyo is probably short for frozen yogurt #yapping #adhd

[stoopidstapler]

SO IVE BEEN GOIN INSANE SINCE THIS TRAILER DROPPED. JUST. SIMON. SIMON. SIMON.

#simon petrikov #fionna and cake #adventure time #goin insane over him #thers no words to describe how im feelin #i wish i could draw somehtin better but i am goin INSANE #FINALLY. AFTER ALL THESE YEARS. we are being FED. #ALSO?? HOW THEY SHOWED HIM EXACTLY WHEN THE LYRICS GO ''WHATS WRONG WITH ME'. LIKE HELLO??????? #ive seen so many good theories PLEASE GOD WRITE FICS I AM BEGGIN I LL DRAW U FANART BLS HEL P #IDK WOT IM GONNA DO FOR A WHOLE MONTH #SOMEONE KNOCK ME OUT TIL THE 31ST. HIBERNATE ME. HELP. #also i need to put it out there the first thing i thought when i saw this trailer was simon is tryina rewrite fionna and cake #which is why their world keeps changin so much? idk idk #ive seen so many different ideas and they are all so good please help #ALSO GOD. THIS MAN IS JUST GOIN THRU IT. AND ITS ONLY BEEN A QUICK TRAILER. #im sorry for so many tags idk where to put these help #maybe i should make an actual blog for like. whatever. n reblogs. help.

[p4nishers]

thinking about the relationship between mightily oats' "the worthwhile [words] don't burn" and constable dorfl's "the words in the heart cannot be taken"

#especially the journey both of them had to go through to get to the point of saying that. like the whole of carpe jugulum oats was so TORN #and before that too about what words could you believe and who could you really trust on their word about om and the prophets and he went #out of his way to look up records disproving what the book of om said bc he KNEW nothing they said could be believed and just all the pain #and all that doubt he went thru and the part where he questioned om's 'infinite compassion' as he prayed bc really what compassion? #how many people prayed at the stake just like he was doing in that moment? how many people had to live with the silence of their god just #like he did? but still when his book of om – that he clung to the whole book for reassurance – burned he said the worthily words don't burn #the worthily words are in the heart and in the mind and not feed into his mouth by old man who just #made things up to justify their actions. he had all the words he needded the whole time and holiness was always all around him. he just had #to look #and dorfl being created with words in his head that dictated his every move . words that chained him. then he and the other golems created #'king' for themselves in the hope he'd lead them to freedom but they put too many words in his head and he failed and carrot gave dorfl his #own freedom and his own words and that lead to dorfl destroying his well child basically and destroying himself in the process but the word #in his heart his OWN words remained and they were able to rebuilt him and vimes give him a voice and his words and belief remained in him b #they were always his #god. sorry for the ramble im severally unwell about them #mightily oats #constable dorfl #carpe jugulum #feet of clay #gnu terry pratchett #discworld

[boxofthings]

I really love exploring GhostRoach's dynamic with mute!Roach, especially since I hc Roach as American, so he'd likely be using ASL

I think Ghost would be proficient in sign, however, since BSL and ASL are very different, I just love imagining him going out of his way to painstakingly learn practically a whole other language just for Roach.

Just watching the progression of their relationship where it starts with Ghost needing someone else on the task force to translate what Roach is saying, to him becoming the designated Roach translator lol

I'd imagine once they get closer, Roach would start writing notes for Simon instead of having a third party translate. And for a while it'd probably be their norm, where Roach will automatically pull out a notebook to talk, but then maybe one day Roach will casually sign something, forgetting that Ghost wouldn't understand, but then Ghost will respond without a second thought and they'll just stare at eachother for a moment like "what?"

and boom. they kiss.

nah but just think about how cute it'd be?? Ghost probably isn't that great with words, so you'll see how he cares about someone more so through his actions, and him studying for months just so Roach can more comfortably communicate with him is just so??? soft??

and the effort isn't lost on Roach at all. He sees how Ghost abashedly looks away after the slip up and mumbles "It's just good to know american sign, too" (excuses), he notices how Ghost will try minicking hand signs when he thinks no one's watching, when he hangs around in Ghost's room, he notices the small stack of ASL dictionaries on his desk.

and Roach just becomes all the more infatuated with him. Big scary lieutenant who yells at all the new recruits and can kill a man with his bare hands but will go out of his way to learn a difficult language. All for Roach.

it'd be a cute way to progress their relationship. Every now and then they'll have tender private moments where Roach will try teaching Ghost more thoroughly, and sometimes Ghost will get frustrated or just sign wildly incorrect words, and Roach will just look at him all adoringly like ughhh they'd be so soft.

#im just saying if i already knew a variation of sign i honestly would not go thru all the trouble of learning another version of it #so ghost kinda a simp for that #i feel like in the beginning ghost would sign 'i love yous' to roach in the dark where the other cant see #because once he realizes he has feelings hed be too afraid to ever admit it out loud #so he'll just sign all the things hes ever wanted to say to Roach while the other cant see it #the ASL aspect just makes their dynamic feel sm more special like theyll just be in their own lil worlds communicating w eachother #gary roach sanderson #simon ghost riley #ghostroach #roachghost #ghost x roach #call of duty #cod #mw2 #modern warfare 2 #box of posts #box of words

[skunkes]

found this article yesterday and i cant stop thinking about it pain pain just lots of pain

#talkys #the thing is also i cant read thru that ''if id known when i was 17'' part #bc ive known since before i was 12 but 12 was when i learned about hrt #and im 26 soon and i still cant go on it. im still very far away from being able to. it All Hurts #but ''the trick is to not wants anything'' SO REAL!!! SO ME!!!! #words

[skitskatdacat63]

2023 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix - Fernando Alonso

#weird to be doing this for the last time this season #literally have been doing it since bahrain quali aahhhh.... #well gifing before that but this specfifc interview type gif wow this is the last one #dont want to get to emo in the tags bcs ive not really found words just yet for how i feel abt the season #but thanks so much everyone for supporting me all this way!!! its been so much fun #literally the thing keeping me going is making these after every race #i started this habit as a silly thing to keep my progress while watching thru older seasins #and i could never have imagined how much i would make!! so again thanks for all the support #id say 'see you next year' as if im not going to be loitering here all winter break #so uhhhhh stay posted for old content and art??? thanks love you!!! #f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso #we do a little bit of f1 #2023 abu dhabi gp #i used to put: '(2023 races watched: 22/22) #and i wish i stuck w that but i didnt but just know...I WATCHED THEM ALL AND TWO IN PERSON YAYAYAYAY #I have trouble sticking w things w an extended time so its cool to have gotten to this point

[backseatloversz]

i hate you stranger things i hate you duffer brothers & co i hate you plausible deniability i hate you queerbaiting i hate you queer subtext i hate you pop culture i hate you straight people i hate you netflix social media managers i hate you i hate you i hate you

#the more i think about it & the more i go thru tags the more genuinely angry i get LOL..................wtf was all that. #stranger things is insane. its so hard to rewatch its suffocating how theres so soso much content but so little fucking HAPPENS in regards #to the characters' relationships with each other are you fucking kidding me #there should be a limit to how many characters and how many plot lines 1 show is allowed to try and juggle LOL #stranger things #st4 spoilers #not directly but. idk #robin buckley #byler #steddie #those are the main things im thinking about LOL #why is vickie robin copy + pasted . #has anyone in the entire show ever even said the word gay or queer or smth not as a slur? oh god #even if they HAVE its a bad sign i cant REMEMBER IT. LOL! #cowboy posts

[yunwooz]

woosang ♡ for @miinsang

#lunagifs #luna.gifs #*ateez #*wooyoung #*yeosang #the woo to my sang the san to my woo #u tease me a lot... A LOT!!! #but u always take care of me too n ur just like woo in that way... #it's crazy to think of how many years it's been already #i can say without a DOUBT that you are one of the reasons i made it thru the panini and all that #we've been thru lots of friend groups and changes in friends and all that a lot together #and i know we joke about it a lot but really im so happy that we've stayed with each other thru it al :(( #i cant imagine having to go thru that alone esp when it felt like it just kept happening over and over #and when i had to finish uni alone at home i would always be super down bc i didnt get to go out and make friends #but one of the reasons i was still okay was bc i had you and i knew i could always bother you 👹 #we're both pretty quiet when things bother us #and it still amazes me that we've been friends for so long and have never fought i'd never had a friendship like that until i met you :(( #but sometimes you'll come to my dms and know exactly what's bothering me without me saying a WORD!!! #thank you for always being there for me and letting me be there for you in return

[a-little-bit-poss]

.

#hit me that wow i survived childhood #i dont think ive ever really given myself credit for that #ive always deflected it #i always had to like present like a plan of the future to my mom so i never really carried the thought of like #not surviving #but like i was always very self destructive and cataclysmic and splitting #and i never really recognized that about myself until i really started dealing with debilitating depression in college #college and dropping out and going back #i never really synthesized that time in life as a singular version of myself #cuz i was going thru a lot of changes in those years #i am having a lil bit of a 'who am i' thing right this moment #idk #anti depressants are good #well im funny and im chill i know that much #i have music and shows that i like #i like taking pictures of my cat and making patches #painting and drawing #my brain has always been faster with ideas than words and that why i used to stutter #that and my mom wanted me to be right handed which idk but i was told that had something to do with it #ill take any opportunity to be smug because i think its funny #i angst about how i miss my family but i objectively do better the less i talk to them #im really glad i dont want to hurt myself these days

[orcelito]

FANTASTIC NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i finished & posted the ITNL 14 re-edits, WHICH MEANS!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm officially done with my re-edits project!!!!!!!!!! :D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ive been thinking a lot today about my plans for ITNL 15, AND i have tomorrow off, so if all goes well i'll be able to start writing again. TOMORROW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and if the chapter grips me like i expect it will then... hehehehehe

could be an update in as little as a few days, depending. i'll keep u guys updated

#speculation nation #itnl shit #im SO fucking ecstatic man ive been looking forward to this for a month and a half #that took SO much longer than i was expecting it to. but i guess editing 75k words while working full time is kind of a lot #it has been a journey. and it is now complete. #and now i can move on to the NEW THINGS!!!!!!!!! INCLUDING a chapter id been looking forward to for So Long #it's for the best that i went thru the whole fic again. itnl 14 was so hard to write bc i was just Not that mentally there with it #and also uh. The Everything. #i think 15 will be easier. MUCH easier. and im really looking forward to having proper writing motivation again. #AND......... IF ALL GOES WELL.............. i'll hopefully be able to ride that motivation train through the next few chapters #Which Means we could be seeing wolfwood in as little as a few weeks!!! maybe!!!!!!!! #i hope so !!!!!!!!!!! i wanna write him SO fucking bad #and like itnl IS a vw fic. it IS. i SWEAR. it's just mostly been grieving and pining from vash so far lksdjflsdjkfsdlkf #but it will have actual vw. eventually. #im like practically vibrating now but i need to go to sleep. so i can have the brain strength to write tomorrow hehehe #i took a melatonin to hopefully knock myself out soon. i GOTTA get some good rest tonight. for the Writing Brain. #and if i daydream about the start of next chapter.... hehehehe #more power to me then :]

[puppyeared]

When you backread through a fun conversation you had with someone for hours an angel gets its wings

#I was talking to my brother about Norman doors and I had fun in my UX class and he was telling me about demon cores and the trolley problem #in his class. AND I remembered to take my meds today so I can feel every cell in my body. i can feel the neurons rubbing together #and yesterday I infodumped about the specialists bullseye chart to crow and how it ties with witch hat atelier #WHICH I MANAGED TOGET THEM TK READ IM SO HAPPY. I MAKE SQUEALING GUINEA PIG NOISES EVERY TIME THEY TELL ME WHAT THEYVE READ SO FAR. AHH #i might not even be scratching the surface with witch hat there are so many themes i could not possibly fathom or go over my heasd #and thats what makes it so exciting there are so many spaces in between that you can fill with your thoughts and i. i #waves my hands around manically #for anyone interested in my insane ramblings. the bullseye chart is from are we all scientific experts now by harry collins #in my own words its basically saying everything we know about anything is a game of broken telephone #and it discusses how information gets lost in translation between experts and laymen including things that arent in control #one of the main points was how things that happen between experts are complicated including debates and findings #that you can only really understand thru research and experience in that field and cant be smoothly shared without it being reworded #and risking some of those key points. or even concepts that are hard to understand that cant be shared at all #like if you tried to tell me about how DNA works using words scientists are familiar with but i am NOT- i risk missing concepts that i need #to understand to know how it works on the level you understand. or i risk having it reworded and understanding it but not on that level #AND IT DOES TIE TO WITCH HAT THE WITCH AND NORMAL FOLK COMMUNITIES I PROMISE. ITS SO INTERESTING #anyway i spent hours reading back thru that conversation and i might as well admit it goes for almost every fun conversation i have #and it might be the 20mg of adderall in my body but i am in such a state of peace and love i have to verbalize it. ahh #yapping

[sm0kebreaks]

begging artists to put their captions abt their art BELOW their art instead of above it

#is this a twitter thing? #i didnt see it until ppl started moving over from twitter #its not THAT big of a deal obv... #but it makes art hard to find if im going thru my blog archive #and honestly i glaze over posts if i see words first and image second bc i assume its a meme or something or stolen art #also it looks bad!!!!!!!! #but these are just my opinions

[bkgbian]

i hate HATE when people like. erase(? the morals the CODE the batfam follows like ???? they are against killing!! that's why they keep fighting with jason!!!! that's their whole conflict!!! what do you mean they ~let~ damian go around killing criminals???? that bruce is happy when jason kills only one guy cause "it's progress" ???? he KICKED jason out of gotham for Trying to kill the penguin like?*?!? you are saying they turn a blind eye to the murders out of LOVE??? lmfao and that CASS is Okay with jason killing???? bffr

#batman turning a blind eye to deaths yeah sure #even more if its jason #yk how parents hold their kids ro different standars #like b had not that much of a problem when ghostmaker killed #he didnt Kick him out of His city #like being agains killing is his whole thing #the reason they had problems w damian when he first arrived #bruce wayne #jason todd #batman #batfam #idk if this is worded correctly whatever #that one w damian having a 'killing jar' or smth #?!?*?!?!?*? #im going thru it

[bo0zey]

Did I miss "back from the war" recreation or is that not happening

OK so i've been meaning to address this for a while because it’s actually something i've been genuinely annoyed/sad/upset about; my original plan to recreate the post was to go to riot fest & have someone take pics of me during MCR live in person (caption wouldve been something like ‘when will mcr--omg they;re Back from the Warfdskns’ lol idk). i ended up 2nd row from the barrier & i was like OMG bc i didn’t expect to get so close & i was like ‘WOW these r gonna b such GR8 PICTURES!!i;m so lucky!!this is gENIUS!’ & so my plan was literally going according to/even better than planned right?? i mean the fact that i was ~a few feet away from the stage n was ~1.5hrs away from seeing mcr LIVE??? my plan was going along SUSPICIOUSLY well..everything was falling into place TOO perfectly...it was almost to good to be true right??? IT WAS. everything went to shit & my plan fell thru during the last band before MCR when my body suddenly fell victim to the effects of being crowd crushed for >7 hours straight; i experienced syncope & was pulled over the barrier & out of the pit by security.

sooooo, you didn’t ‘miss’ anything; the post was supposed to be recreated at the concert, but the universe pulled an uno-reverse on me when it remembered i’m on the universal ‘Do Not Ever Allow to Be Truly Happy’ list lol. i meant to post an update abt my failed plan afterwards, but tbh the actual event in itself made me wanna fr kms, and i felt even guiltier/worse for being unable to fulfill my promise to u all bc i fr planned on recreating it at the concert. 'ok but u were still at the concert after u got pulled out’ ok physically yes but mentally N-Ooo. due to the hypoxia (lack of blood blow/oxygen to the brain) i’d obtained secondary to being crowd crushed PLUS the psychological trauma of being removed against my living breathing dying will from the pit (btw the psychological trauma has nothing to do with being crowd-crushed but im not gonna get into that turmoil rn lol), i was stuck in an altered mental state for the remainder of the concert. i was dissociated for mcr’s entire set until i woke up the next morning & it took ~3-4 days for my body to fully recover from the physical trauma of being crowd crushed.

i still plan on recreating the post eventually, but tbh it’s not rlly my top priority atm bc 1) i still can’t come to terms w/ the fact i lost my 1 n only chance to experience MCR live & 2) imo seeing MCR live was the perfect opportunity to recreate the post & that clearly didn’t work out for me sooo now i have no idea how else i can top that idea :( .

#i have an idea but i’m not sure if it’ll work...imma need mcr 2 pull thru n meet me halfway on this 1 lol #anywyas i h8 talking abt riot fest i feel like every1 h8s me whining abt it too lol #i was so angry and upset with the world and myself. i really tried so hard to stay conscious; #ppl were asking if i was ok & i kept nodding yes because i didn’t want to be pulled out of the pit bc #then i’d lose my spot + my ONLY chance to see MCR live & so up close. #next thing i know i’m being pulled over the barrier by security and WHOOSH into dissociationville i go. #they were too much for my brain to handle so i’d just fall back even more into that weird dissociated state #i honestly would have preferred to not have even attended the concert. like HONESTLY 100% deadass i wish i didnt even go. #like imagine urself in my shoes lol i went from being 2nd row from the stage to like 70000 rows away. #yall dont understand how awful it is to have such a golden opportuntiy to be 1 hr n a few feet away from the band who saved u #to having it all ripped away from u in literally a matter of seconds #if i’d just stayed home my 12y/o little wouldn’t have had to experience the psychological trauma of having everything to having nothing. #my 15/16 year old teen wouldnt have had to re-live the experience of realizing there’s nothing left #in this world to comfort/protect/save her OR her childself #22 year old me realizing i failed them and all the other parts of me. i cant be happy i cant have shit in this world #i couldnt have my mom but at least i had mcr right??? nope lol that got ripped out of my fingertips too #i cant even begin to describe the emotional damage/psychological blow the situation had on me bc like #i cant even put it into words and i know nobody will truly understand/believe me when i say how heartbreaking & detrimental this #situation was for my already fucked up psyche. or they’ll think im exaggerating but its like u dont get it #ive lost so many things and people i spent my entire childhood/adolescence maladaptive daydreaming. #at age 12 mcr became my escapism for ~4yrs straight bc they were the only thing that made me happy #while all the other ppl in the real world in my day to day life were making me wanna kms everyday #like ik it sounds extreme/dramatic but ??? i mean i dont even fully understand my reaction tbh. #i think its just mcr used to be my happy place n then i get to see them live and its just an absolute nightmare #and the fact that i was dissociated from their concert when they used to be the only thing to keep me grounded to this earth??? #truly i wish i didnt even go like i cant even listen to their music anymore without wanting to crawl out of my skin #when the only thing that made u feel alive made u feel deader than ever inside....yeahhhhh not fun!! #its a heartsinking feeling i hate it so much i wish i had a doever #mcr #when will mcr return from the war

[wizardnuke]

there's a ffic in my head. oouuuag. its Cookin

#domestic little character study of The Bg3 Gang after the everything. in this specific playthrough #tav. grieving karlach and also devastated that astarion can't be out in the sun anymore #more than anything i love Aftermath fics. like who are you once the danger passes #the good and bad things that happen to people when they're no longer constantly in survival mode #it takes a lot longer to actually feel safe. and tavelle has been spearheading this group and still feels so responsible for them #takes her a long time to adjust to not being able to have tabs on anyone and she is SO fucked up about karlach #who tf is astarion when he's de-tadpoled and still spawn. he got to be out in th e sun but not anymore. that's sooo sad #tav can and will trawl thru every enchanter store on the planet until she finds someone who can make like a #sunlight protected item for him #very important for this fic that a) astarion doesn't know that that's what she's up to and #b) is worried about her bc she is clearly up to something and it's also like. visibly upsetting her and #c) when she does finally come up with something she crashes into the room to the degree that he thinks she's being chased or some shit #also this tav is 100% not going to stop adventuring for better or for worse. by adventuring i mean. mercenary work #she's throwing herself into fights still. bc she doesn't know what to do with herself And Specifically to rack up enough money to get #that sun shield thing for astarion #and he will have Words for her abt that #also have an extremely silly idea about the enchanter. very obvious silly idea abt who it is. im gonna name him.. tumas pol

[quietwingsinthesky]

ohhhh u know what i wanna write. need to, even. very important to do it at some point. but i think i really do need to make the doctor have a meltdown. i think that would be very cathartic to put them through.

#whump but autism flavored. for me. #i mean i imagine that he has been having them just off-screen when the worse adventures are over #can keep it together as long as he’s running because he can focus on something else and. then when he is not it all hits at once. #the doctor curled on the tardis floor because he can hear her engine vibrating through it and its the only sensation that isnt causing him #physical pain to experience at the moment #i need him to go thru some shit okay. never enough fics in the autistic doctor tag on ao3 #skmeone remind me to outline this in the morning. gotta pick which doctor to do it to. which companion to be with him. #i am feeljng ten & donna but that could change #oh on that note: thinks about 14 having meltdowns about. ‘normal things’. #local man who has saved the world a thousand times suddenly finds out that grocery store lighting is intensely stressful and makes him want #to cry. despite all contradicting evidence that this is happening to him is a good thing. #means he’s recalibrating slowly to allow his body to be upset by things like that rather than pushing all of it down to be set off by #the world nearly exploding or someone he loves getting hurt. instead he can get overwhelmed by small things and feel safe that if he reacts #to that. nothing bad will happen to him while he’s having a meltdown. ohhhhh donna bringing him a weighted blanket because he went to hide #in his tardis after comjng home and not saying a word to anyone….. #okay im done i swear im done.