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#means he’s recalibrating slowly to allow his body to be upset by things like that rather than pushing all of it down to be set off by
quietwingsinthesky · 2 months
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ohhhh u know what i wanna write. need to, even. very important to do it at some point. but i think i really do need to make the doctor have a meltdown. i think that would be very cathartic to put them through.
#whump but autism flavored. for me.#i mean i imagine that he has been having them just off-screen when the worse adventures are over#can keep it together as long as he’s running because he can focus on something else and. then when he is not it all hits at once.#the doctor curled on the tardis floor because he can hear her engine vibrating through it and its the only sensation that isnt causing him#physical pain to experience at the moment#i need him to go thru some shit okay. never enough fics in the autistic doctor tag on ao3#skmeone remind me to outline this in the morning. gotta pick which doctor to do it to. which companion to be with him.#i am feeljng ten & donna but that could change#oh on that note: thinks about 14 having meltdowns about. ‘normal things’.#local man who has saved the world a thousand times suddenly finds out that grocery store lighting is intensely stressful and makes him want#to cry. despite all contradicting evidence that this is happening to him is a good thing.#means he’s recalibrating slowly to allow his body to be upset by things like that rather than pushing all of it down to be set off by#the world nearly exploding or someone he loves getting hurt. instead he can get overwhelmed by small things and feel safe that if he reacts#to that. nothing bad will happen to him while he’s having a meltdown. ohhhhh donna bringing him a weighted blanket because he went to hide#in his tardis after comjng home and not saying a word to anyone…..#okay im done i swear im done.
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paganinpurple · 7 years
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Clowder - Ch 2
Buy Me A Coffee?
It Was You (comes before this fic)
Read on AO3 or FF.net     <<Ch 1     Ch 2     Ch 3>
Admissions
“I'm not so sure if this was such a good idea after all,” Marinette said as she waited upstairs for her parents to finish the clean-up in the bakery for the night.
“It's better than the alternative,” Tikki advised her as she flitted about her chosen's shoulder, a large cookie crumb in her arms, “Do you want to tell them that you're Ladybug? Or tell them who Chat is?”
“Of course not. That would be...no. I'm just not sure how happy they'll be with this excuse of ours.”
The two of them both glanced up at the door as they heard footsteps approaching and Tikki dashed back into the purse hanging at Marinette's hip as the door to the living room opened.
“Marinette!” her father cried at the sight of her, “I didn't expect you to be waiting for us. No Chat yet?”
“No Papa,” she told him, shuffling her feet awkwardly and avoiding his gaze as much as possible, “He's not coming over tonight unless I call him.”
She could see both of her parents sharing a quizzical look out of her peripheral vision and let go of a breath she hadn't realised was sitting in her lungs growing stale until now.
“Marinette, is everything alright?” her mother asked quietly.
“I'd like to talk to you both about something,” she said quickly. She knew that if she didn't jump right in she'd stretch this out and build it up until it became unbearable to discuss. Without waiting for any kind of answer she stiffly walked to the couch before dropping down in an awkwardly rigid position. Hands locked in front of her and resting on her knees she gently rocked back and forth slightly as her parents perched on the edge on either side of her, throwing concerned glances between one another and at her blank face. Her complete lack of expression actually told them more about her current state of anxiety than it did to conceal it.
“Sweetie-” her father began but Marinette was quick to cut off anything he might have said.
“Chat and I have already talked about this,” she started, “A lot. And he's t-talked to Ladybug and I've spoken with...A-Adrien.”
She gulped in a lot of air in sudden desperation. Her chest still felt tight however and she didn't feel any better for it. All she got for her effort was a sudden bout of hiccups.
“Marinette, dear,” Sabine said as she brushed a strand out of Marinette's face while she continued to rock in place, “I'm not sure I understand.” Marinette found that the movement and concern lacing the words drew her attention more than she wanted it to and she hesitantly looked up through her lashes at her mother's face. Sabine's expression was crumpled in worry at her daughter's anxious state and her grey eyes seemed to pierce her chest, making her hold back a sob.
“Mama, Papa,” she said, screwing her eyes shut and gulping audibly, “I'm not just dating one boy anymore, I'm dating two.”
Neither parent seemed to react. She slowly opened her eyes and glanced up at her mother first, then her father, and was amazed to find them simply watching her, waiting for her to continue. She hiccuped again.
“Um...” She was unsure where to go from there. She'd been expecting confusion, possibly outrage. Maybe even on the extreme end of things treating her like she was confused, but not this complete silence.
“You see, uh, Adrien came to see me not too long ago. He told me he'd made a mistake telling me he didn't like me all those months ago because ever since he'd gotten sort of fixated on it and realised he actually...does...like me...after all.”
Her mother's face had smoothed out from confusion and concern to a blank canvas, Marinette's  words a brush waiting to colour her a new expression. She just wished she knew what it was she wanted to paint onto that canvas.
“I was telling Chat because...well, I was thinking, are you kidding me? And turns out he had the same sort of thing happen with Ladybug and the more we talked about it and joked about how ridiculous a situation we were in, the more we...we...”
“Marinette are you really trying to tell us you're seeing both Chat and Adrien at the same time?” her father interjected, a strange sort of smile playing about his lips when she turned to look at him. She nodded in stunned silence.
“And that Chat is dating both you and Ladybug now?” her mother added, a similarly amused smirk tugging one half of her mouth upwards.
“Y-Yes,” she said in a hoarse whisper.
“Oh dear,” Sabine chuckled as she leant in and stroked her daughter's hair comfortingly, “Did you two really decide that this was easier than telling us who you both are?”
Marinette just stared in disbelief for a beat, the butterflies in her chest no longer due to her confession but the realisation of what her mother's words meant instead.
“If this was true, all we would have done is told you to be careful not to get hurt or to let anyone take advantage of your...what would you call that? An open relationship?” Sabine looked over her to make eye contact with Tom, asking his opinion.
“Not sure,” he said before looking back down at Marinette fondly, “But there was certainly no need for you to get yourself so worked up with worry over telling us this my little bug, we already know how things really are.”
“You-you know!?” she squeaked, suddenly sans hiccups, “For how long!?”
“That you're Ladybug? About a year, a bit longer. About Adrien being Chat? Only a few weeks now.”
Marinette's gaze flicked back and forth between them rapidly as she struggled to process the new information her parents had dropped on her like a bombshell while acting like everything was perfectly normal.
“You knew who he was before I did,” she whispered, her jaw going slack with disbelief.
“Wait,” her father said suddenly, “You didn't know he was Adrien? I mean, I guessed you didn't know when he first started to visit because you were still upset over what happened at school but, you've been dating for around half a year and didn't know?”
“Papa, I literally found out yesterday,” she told him, placing her head in her hands in an effort to calm her racing thoughts, “Wait, how did you know?”
“Oh honey,” her mother said as she continued to stroke back strands of Marinette's hair from her face soothingly, “When he came over to study for schoolwork he was clearly besotted with you. It's like it was killing him not to hold your hand in front of us. We just assumed you were the better disciplined of the two of you and you were just pretending he wasn't Chat. But you really didn't know?”
“No,” she said as other snippets of information started to filter through her mind and she processed the ramifications, “And you...know about...me?”
“Sweetheart,” her father said “you're nowhere near as good at sneaking out as you think you are. And you go through an awful lot of food, even for a teenager. You were clearly using up a lot more energy than it looked like.”
“Plus,” her mother added, “we can hear you talking to someone constantly. Once we figured out there was someone else around it became obvious where all the extra cookies were going and it got easier to catch glimpses of them trying to hide.”
She stared pointedly at Marinette's purse.
Gulping deeply, Marinette slowly glanced down at the little bag hanging against her hip, staring for a moment before finally, she said, “I guess that means you can come out now Tikki.”
Once the clasp was opened, Tikki's head popped out gingerly as she looked up at the three humans from beneath her long lashes.
“Hello,” said Sabine, her eyes closing as she smiled at the little Kwami.
Slowly, Tikki floated into the air in front of Marinette as she looked from person to person, her expression still guarded and unsure.
“This is Tikki,” Marinette told her parents as she cupped the little God in her outstretched hands and allowed her to rest there.
“Nice to finally meet you,” Tom said, offering his pinkie finger to her.
Tikki smiled shyly at him for a moment until suddenly, her folded antennae stood upright and she shook the offered finger enthusiastically.
“And nice to meet you both! Marinette is a wonderful girl, you've both done such a good job raising her! It will be nice to have more people to talk with and I can finally tell you how much I love your Madeleines! And now Marinette can bring- Marinette, are you alright?”
Marinette almost didn't hear the sound of Tikki's voice over her loud sobs of relief.
No more fear of how her parents would react to the idea of her being in a poly relationship. No more hiding that Chat was Adrien. No more stress over sneaking out without being caught. No more keeping Tikki cooped up in her purse.
No more lying to her parents.
The emotional whiplash of her evening had finally caught up to her and she couldn't hold back any longer. Her mother immediately wrapped her arms around her, pulling her to her chest and cradling her head like she was still a young child. In turn, her father placed his arms around them both and made gentle shushing noises to soothe her as Tikki attached her tiny body to Marinette's cheek in as big a hug as she could offer.
All four of them stayed like that for a while as Marinette's emotions recalibrated and she revelled in just how accepting and supportive her nearest and dearest were.
Buy Me A Coffee?
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shinichirosbabymama · 7 years
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A/N: I’m doing that economical thing again but hey ho. This is solid proof that I need to get laid tbh. Very smutty. Mature content warnings apply.
 You sucked your teeth idly as your gaze bored into the computer screen in front of you. Your office was quiet save for the sounds of typing and the occasional hushed cough. You reclined back into your uncomfortable office chair, as if waiting for something to happen to distract you before you submerged yourself in work again. 
Almost on cue your phone vibrated on the desk next to you, making you jump. You tilted your head to the side to read the message illuminated on the screen. Your chest fluttered slightly when you saw Elliot's name. 
You coming over later?
The words were stark and you imagined them tumbling from Elliot's lips suddenly if he were there in person. Another text came through. 
Missed you.
You'd been away for the last week visiting family and hadn't had chance to see Elliot before heading back to work. It was very simplistic, but it made you smile nonetheless. Elliot very often tiptoed around you. He was ignorant to all of this when you first started this thing you had but he soon realised he couldn't just demand your attention whenever he wanted it. Deep down you knew he could do exactly that. 
Something about the emotional undertone of his message stirred something within you. You imagined him whispering the words against your skin later on with his hands all over you, completely relaxed to your touch and heady with need. 
You snatched up the phone before your thoughts could run away any further and fired off a reply. 
I missed you too. And I'm going to show you just how much later.
It took Elliot a few minutes to reply. You wondered briefly if you'd flustered him but realised it took more than a little flirting over text to draw a reaction out of Elliot. Eventually your phone went off again.
What do you mean by that?
Did he want you to speculate? Or did he require clarification? You bit your lip as you typed and deleted and re-typed a response several times until you settled on one.
I'm pretty wound up after a week so I was hoping you could relieve me. You're very good at that.
You drummed your fingers on the desk distractedly as you waited for a response. Your mind was intoxicated with thoughts of Elliot now. You imagined his full lips slack and his brow furrowed as his hips met against yours - you could almost feel the hard muscle of his thighs hitting against your ass. 
You jumped again when your phone vibrated this time, biting your lip as you checked the message tentatively. 
I'm at work so we shouldn't...but I kind of like it. Can't wait.
Ever the wordsmith, you thought as you held back a delirious laugh. You needed to rile him, in the same way he'd inadvertently done to you. You stood up from your desk, trying to ignore the slight tremor in your legs as you picked up your phone and made your way to the bathroom. 
Once inside the cubicle you paced for a few moments wondering if you should be doing this - it was undiscovered territory with Elliot but you didn't want to turn down the opportunity to really rile him. 
You looked around the basic toilet cubicle - it was hardly the most alluring of spots but you had to make do with the limited privacy you had. You quickly unbuttoned your blouse, trying out a couple of different angles with the front-facing camera of your phone. It took a few minutes to find the right angle but the thought of Elliot's (probable) reaction spurred you on. 
Eventually you had two photos to send - one bra on, one bra off. You felt a little self-conscious about your face being in both of them but you looked surprisingly good. Your makeup had survived the office environment well that day and your eyes looked sultry and your lips fuller as they were slightly parted. Plus you trusted Elliot. If anything he was overly safe about this kind of thing. Not the kind of guy to just leave his phone lying around. 
Before you could think about it any longer you'd sent the pictures off with no text to accompany them. For a few seconds you stood staring dumbly at his phone, expecting a reply straight away but when there wasn't one you quickly re-dressed yourself and left the bathroom. 
2 minutes turned into 20. And then 2 hours. You were beyond annoyed by this point considering you'd put yourself out there like that. The space around you grew noisy as you tapped away at the keyboard aggressively. You couldn't decide who you were more annoyed at. Yourself or Elliot. Maybe he didn't even like you anymore. 
Finally the end of work rolled around and stood up, roughly putting your jacket on as you heard your phone ping. You froze and looked down at the screen which displayed a simple message.
Come straight over.
Was he for real? You snatched up the phone and checked through the messages just in case you might have missed one earlier. But there was nothing. No references to the pictures you'd sent him.
You thought about blowing him off altogether but you were still annoyed so you decided to give Elliot a piece of your mind and head to his apartment. 
Despite your initial feelings you did find yourself softening a little as you rocked with the movement of the subway train. Maybe Elliot hadn't known how to react. It was a bit harsh of you to blow up at him without explanation. And after a week of not sleeping next to him you had missed him. A lot. 
The apartment was already open when you arrived so he must have seen you arrive but said nothing. You felt oddly apprehensive as you climbed the stairs of his apartment building. You pushed on the apartment door which opened slowly and entered, letting it fall shut behind you. 
Elliot was seated at his desk typing away as usual as if he hadn't noticed you enter. You felt a little hurt at that but pressed on regardless. 
'Hey...' You sauntered over to where he was sat, running your finger tips across his shoulder but quickly drawing away when he tensed up. You thought he had abandoned that habit with you. 
'Yo...' Elliot responded, his voice distant as he continued typing. You couldn't make out what was on the screen save for some rolling code. 
'What's up? I thought you said you missed me.' You tried to keep your tone light but you're stomach was starting to cramp a little with worry. 
'I did but you've pissed me off.' Elliot's shoulders were completely tense now and you took a step back. You weren't afraid of him but his behaviour was abnormal to say the least. 
'What do you mean?'
'Those pictures Y/N.' Elliot stood up and his desk chair spun a little as he paced away towards his kitchen area. You felt your face heat up with embarrassment. 
'I didn't think it would make you angry.' You shot back hotly, folding your arms tightly over your chest. You felt ashamed now and mad that he'd made you feel that way.
'Don't you realise how irresponsible that is?' Elliot's cold tone made your eyes water as he spoke. You looked away from him and pointedly at the floor, trying to focus on your anger rather than your embarrassment. 
'Well it's my responsibility! You don't get to dictate what I do with my body.' You snapped, nibbling at your lower lip. 'I wish I'd never sent them to you now anyway.' 
Elliot's annoyed expression continued to bore into you. His pupils were slightly dilated which made his eyes look darker. You briefly wondered if he'd taken anything.
'I wish I'd never received them. But only because I don't want someone else to get their hands on them.'
'Oh whatever Elliot. Why don't you just admit that you're not feeling it anymore?'
Elliot's brow furrowed, his frustration evident. 'Feeling what? People have their lives ruined by this shit Y/N. I just want you to be safe.' 
You felt beyond stupid and upset now, trying to ignore the tears pricking your eyes as grew more and more defensive. 'I am safe and I don't need lecturing from you. If you don't want me then just admit it.' 
With that you took that it was your cue to leave and made your way towards the door. Elliot stepped forward quickly and grabbed your wrist - although his touch was very delicate and he let go as soon as you stopped to look at him.
'Look I didn't mean to grab hold of you but I'm sorry okay? I was just fucking worried. I've seen some horrible shit.' 
You avoided his eye, unable to conjure up a decent response to give him. The tension between the two of you was still tightly wound and unpredictable and you didn't want to erupt again. 
'And if you must know...' Elliot mumbled, his eyes shifting towards the far wall rather than your face. '...you have no idea what you do to me.'
'What do you mean?' You replied in little more than a whisper, feeling the space between your legs flush slightly and mix weirdly with the anger which had been radiating off you only seconds earlier.
'That stuff earlier just set me off. I tried to fucking - jesus, I tried to get off at work but obviously I couldn't.' Elliot's cheeks looked slightly flushed now and his jaw was taught as he averted his gaze from you. You throbbed at the thought of him getting off - or rather trying to get off - to you. Images of Elliot's tensed features as he fisted at his cock danced across your brain as you bit your lower lip.
'Should I go?' The words left your mouth as though they were a dare, suspended and almost taunting. 
'No.' Elliot croaked and stepped towards you. His touch was always clumsy and awkward at first - he needed a moment to recalibrate. He grabbed you by the waist, you could feel the hard tips of his fingers digging into your ribs and it hurt but you didn't complain. You kind of liked it.
You made the first move to kiss - you knew your kisses turned Elliot into a squirming mess. Surprisingly he got the upper-hand as he pushed his lips against yours roughly. You stopped dead still, breath catching in your throat when you felt his tongue tease at your bottom lip. Just as you opened your mouth to allow his tongue in further he bit down on your bottom lip. That made you jump and it was kind of sore but insanely hot. You whined softly, hands fisting themselves in Elliot's hoodie as he sucked your lip. 
When you pulled apart you were gasping - you could feel your underwear sticking to you from where you'd grown insanely wet already. Elliot looked equally flushed, perhaps even a little surprised at himself as his tongue touched his swollen lips.
'That is unlike you.' Was all you could mutter lamely. Out of the corner of your eye you could see that your hand was tremoring slightly.
'You don't like it?' There was a hint of anxiety to Elliot's voice now. As lovers you were still so unsure of yourselves - each other's boundaries included.
'Actually I'd like some more.' You tried to sound teasing but instead you stuttered slightly. Elliot's expression darkened again to how he'd looked earlier when you first arrived. 
'Good because this isn't an act. I'm still pissed at you.'
'For getting you frustrated?' 
'You fucking know why.' Elliot snapped and made his way over to his desk chair where he sat. Before you had to chance to move he was unbuckling his belt and roughly pushing his jeans down to his ankles. Elliot hissed quietly as he took his cock out of his boxers, it was flushed and rock hard. Elliot looked down, his lips pursed as he wiped his fingers over the wet tip a few times before beginning to stroke himself lazily. When he looked up he raised his eyebrows at you. 
'Come here.'
You swallowed hard and moved towards him. Your movements felt mechanical - you were pretty sure you were still in shock at Elliot's sudden change in demeanour and it was making your head spin. 
By the time you'd kneeled down in front of Elliot - noting the discomfort of the cheap wooden apartment flooring under your knees - you could hear the quiet wet noises coming from Elliot's cock as he stroked himself and his voice was strained as if holding back a grunt as he spoke. 
'I want you to...please.' The 'please' came out as Elliot's breath caught in his throat and you knew he was still there, your Elliot - behind the anger and arousal of the man in front of you. You delicately placed a hand over Elliot's, prising it away from himself as your mouth descended over his length. Elliot sucked in a shrill breath as you moved your mouth all the way down to the base of him. His dick felt hot inside your mouth, slightly salty from where he'd probably been sweating over you earlier. But it wasn't unpleasant and you were turned on by how frantic his actions were. 
You began to move your lips up and down slowly, focussing more so on swirling your tongue around the tip of Elliot's cock as you blew him. The motion made him swear under his breath and a hand found its way to the back of your head as he gently urged you on. When you brought a hand up to wrap around him he let out a growl - an actual growl which made you ache - and pushed your hand away. 'No no I'm too sensitive.' 
Occasionally he'd lift your head up and stare at your glazed expression, his eyes roaming over your wet lips which were starting to feel swollen from the motion. It was hot knowing he was getting off to watching your mouth get covered in spit and precum, but you knew Elliot well enough to know that he was searching in your face for your ongoing willingness and the insecurity was probably teasing him in the back of his brain. As a result you increased the speed of your sucking, tilting your head slightly as you did so that he caught every velvety corner of your mouth. 'Jesus fuck.' Elliot swore as his hips bucked into your mouth. You wanted to look up and see the sight you'd been thinking about earlier - his scrunched eyes and slack mouth but you couldn't, not yet.
'Stop, stop please! Otherwise I'll cum-' The words came out as a rush from Elliot and you pulled your mouth off him, squeezing the base of his cock tightly just in case.
'Isn't that the point?' You said breathlessly, studying every bit of Elliot's fucked out face as he panted in the chair. 
'I wanted to fuck you first.' His voice was back to a low drawl with just a hint of breathlessness behind it. He leaned forward and quickly kissed your wet lips, his tongue dipping into mouth as he rather confidently tasted himself. You whined at the sensation, unable to take it this time as your hips bucked forward and rutted against Elliot's shin. Elliot let out a short breath which could have been a laugh if his tongue wasn't in your mouth. All of a sudden he was off the chair, even his small frame felt imposing as he hovered over you pushing you right down onto the wooden floorboards.
'Here? Really?' You gasped out as Elliot set to work unbuttoning your work trousers with his nimble fingers. You allowed him to roughly pull them down, abandoning his task half way through when he realised he'd forgotten about your shoes. It made you smirk when he prised them awkwardly off your feet which earnt you a rough squeeze of your thigh.
'Serves you right for earlier. Stupid girl.' Elliot replied but you could hear the teasing in his voice. He leant forward and gave you a soft kiss as he removed your underwear. It was a reminder that he didn't really hate you, that you were wanted and he was all yours. 
You gasped when your ass came into contact with cold wooden floorboards beneath you. Elliot bit his lip and kneaded your ass cheeks roughly in his hands which made you jump. 
'Elliot!'
'Sorry.' He replied bashfully and his lips pulled into a half smile as his hand grazed your inner thigh. You closed your eyes and tried not to hold your breath as his fingertips traced over the lips of your pussy. Fortunately Elliot was never much in the mood for teasing and he plunged two fingers into you easily. Your back arched almost painfully from the wooden floor and you saw Elliot smirk at how wet you were as his fingers glided in and out of you easily.
'Fuck.' You gasped when Elliot rolled his thumb over your clit, his fingers already beginning a 'come hither' motion as he found your g-spot easily.
'You really like pissing me off, don't you?' Elliot aided his question with a quick flick of his fingers which made you bite down on your lip. 
'Answer.' He prompted you again with his fingers, the speed slowly increasing and the pressure on your clit growing more insistent as Elliot drew you closer.
'Yes. Fuck. Okay yes I do.' You moaned out, very close to cumming as your hips bucked against Elliot's fingers of their own accord. 
'That's kind of messed up Y/N.' Elliot drawled as he brought you off with his hand. You would feel embarrassed about gushing all over his hand but it felt so good you didn't care. You managed a high pitched 'El' followed by a series of whimpers as you came hard. 
You took a few seconds to come down from your high and when you finally opened you eyes you could see that Elliot was fisting his cock tightly again, bottom lip caught between his teeth. 
'Sorry you looked so good then I couldn't help it.' He gasped out and you noticed that it was his hands that were shaking now as he kneeled between your legs. 
'May I?' Elliot asked as he hovered over you, dick in hand ready to enter. 
'Yes Christ, please do.' Was all you managed you hiss out as Elliot entered you in one fluid motion. You were worried he wouldn't be able feel anything due to how wet you were but he still let out a low groan as he pushed all the way in.
'This probably won't last long sorry.' Elliot said through his teeth as his hips started to rock against yours, the floorboards creaking underneath you. 
'Fuck I don't care just fill me up.' You gasped out in return which made Elliot swear under his breath again as he picked up pace, wet sounds coming from the place where your hips met as he fucked you frantically.
'El, El, El...' You didn't know why you were saying his name like that but it was like a chorus. All you could do was grip Elliot's slender hips tightly, urging him deeper as his hips rolled against yours. Elliot kept one hand tightly on your ass cheek, kneading the soft flesh hard as he held you still on the floor whilst the other hand rested just above your head as he supported himself above you.
'Fuck, ah...' Elliot bit out and suddenly you could feel yourself being flooded with warmth as he buried himself in you. Elliot stayed very still for a few moments, his sweaty brow pressed against your shoulder as he panted above you. Climax for Elliot was similar to being high and this was very much his comedown.
'You're so good.' You breathed out over Elliot's shoulder and kissed the damp skin there whilst your back throbbed with pain from being down on the wooden floor. 
After that the anger was all but forgotten. Elliot lectured you of course but he wasn't mad at all. In fact you were very pleased with yourself, pleased with the fact that from now on you knew exactly how to get Elliot going.
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