#im actually really upset by this does no one like me

[danganphobia]

thinkign about laishuro but in a college au setting. mini fic kinda incoming im having brainworms.

toshiro keeps to himself and doesn't really talk to many people (but i like to think he's already good friends with kabru because they share some of the same classes together) but he shares this one class with this incredibly talkative guy that the professor absolutely despises named laios that always makes the class fucking bust out laughing. laios is the class clown but he's popular because he's just that guy that kinda knows everybody. and he sits next to toshiro and often asks him about assignments or to copy his notes because he didn't get to read all the slides on time. meanwhile toshiro's just like ok whatever (doesnt think anything of it)

since kabru already knows laios by default toshiro kinda gets roped into his whole friend group of different majors but i like to imagine they're all good friends because they're in the DnD club and toshiro's initiated like Immediately against his will. every now and then the club hangs out after classes and it's actually really Obvious that laios likes toshiro. he's like going out of his way to make sure the newbie is "comfortable" and other than kabru it's laios who toshiro ends up talking to the most. laios is sitting next to him the whole night, leaning in when toshiro needs to say something because it's super loud at the restaurant and everyone's like Lmao this is so painful.

kabru the instigator is like "guys let's add toshiro to the group chat" and he's making eyes at farlyn and marcille and chilchuck, who's just like fucking facepalming because they're horrible at being subtle, and it's laios who's like "OH YEAH TOTALLY, toshiro what's your number?????" so toshiro gives his number and he's added to the DnD group chat but really it was just a ploy for laios and toshiro to start texting each other. it works bc laios texts toshiro individually and says "hey its laios from bio i got ur number from the dnd gc i hope it's okay lol" i can see this fucking happening when kabru and toshiro are hanging out and kabru's like "bitch i FUCKING KNEW IT!!" and toshiro's like "of course i know it's him. why does he have to say that. he's very odd." kabru's just Staring at him like my dear friend laios likes you. toshiro's confused because ????? the thordens talk to like everybody on campus i think he's just friendly. and kabru says there's at least 20 other people in your class that he could ask for notes and assignments yet he always asks you. he's always asking all their friends where toshiro is when he's not around. he's like the first to look for toshiro when he walks into a room that laios KNOWS toshiro is in. he's always excited to see you to come club meetings. he texts you like every other day. he's even asked you to hang out, alone??? many times??? like how people ask each other on dates????

toshiro telling kabru its just to work on assignments together. and kabru brings up laios walking him all the way back to their dorm and giving him a hug, and toshiro can agree that's a bit Strange but it's "not even a big deal" until he's wide awake in bed at night thinking of the last time laios hugged him after walking him home and he's red in the face like FUCK. THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME.

anyways toshiro unable to handle the fact that what he has, as kabru calls it, is a Crush(TM) and refuses to believe it so he begins avoiding laios until it becomes a big thing. laios is genuinely upset and thinks he did something wrong. so he tracks toshiro down to ask him about it and he's rambling on about being an idiot and thinking he did something to make toshiro uncomfortable, toshiro doesn't rlly know what to do bc all his feelings the past few weeks have been piling up and is about to explode and he just. grabs laios and kisses him square on the lips.

a minute passes and they stare at each other. and laios is just like. Wat. toshiro's internally freaking out. and when he opens his mouth and says "laios-" laios cuts him off and very shyly asks, "can you... uh, can you do that again?"

toshiro just feels himself relax. laughs. and laios laughs. and toshiro kisses him again.

anyways i need fanart of this so bad bye

#dungeon meshi #laishuro #toshiro nakamoto #laios touden #college au brainrot real

[no-1bitch]

i hate going on buses with the school or with my friends because im ALWAYS sitting by myself. and then everyone else talks about how much fun they thought it was and how fun the bus was. and im sitting here on the bus next to some random girl trying not to cry

#im actually really upset by this does no one like me #this happens every single time #someone literally said to my face earlier like oh if someone else isnt available do you want to go with me #like you dont say to someone your my second choice. if someone else isnt able i guess ill go with you #im literally about to cry on this bus

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #gillion tidestrider #GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS #REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT #NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS #THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS. #ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of #another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY.. #i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her #idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had #when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them. #but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore. #but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think #i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow. #ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that #AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE #I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME #THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE #WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL #in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad #this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks- #-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl- #-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi #gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show #i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!! #anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM

[prisonpodcast]

some ccs are just straight up nuts there’s no other explanation

#saw a comment on r/dwt2 and it made me look into the moonzy/draggie situation #this freak accused him of having ‘grooming tendencies’ when he was YOUNGER than her #he showed all their DMs and it was just reciprocated flirting ?? #he was initiated more but it seemed reciprocal to me? #she just got mad at him bc he replied to one of her tweets where she was flirting with Karl with ‘ouch’ #<- replied in DMs I mean #I guess bc she thought the flirting was a joke ?? #how is this an ‘experience’ you need to speak up about im loosing my mind #‘guy flirted with me I flirted back but I wasn’t really interested pls show ur sympathies and like and subscribe🥺’ #and in her statement she was talking about an anon who came out about their experiences prior #saying they had been groomed but draggie had fully debunked that years ago #so idk why she was bringing that up ?? #and ofc you have aim.sey and max and sniff in the replies with their heart emojis #straight up nuts I’m losing brain cells here #btw she’s the one who said something about how a lot of ccs didn’t support her #including big ones from that ‘stupid mine.craft server’ (meaning dsmp obv) #just nuts straight up nuts #negativity #like I have to be missing something (and if I am pls tell me but I don’t think I am???) #because saying this cringe flirting with someone YOUNGER THAN YOUUU is ‘groomer tendencies’ is fucking nuts #it’s just what is with these people like what’s wrong with them #why does mildly uncomfortable experience = horrible predator we need to inform the public about bc they’re a danger to society #sorry I’m done I’m just actually upset lol

[asgardian--angels]

...prayer circle for izzy hands

#ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #i'm actually getting nervous for jenkins et al for tomorrow bc if they do kill off izzy i fear there will be a riot lmao #i'm so on the fence #because part of me is like 'djenks would never do that - he loves izzy's character and no one perma-dies on this show' #and narratively it would be strange (though not completely out of the realm of possibility) for him to die after this whole arc #and surely the whole team is aware that folks would be furious #(me personally i'm down with whatever happens so long as it fits the story but i know a lot of folks would be legit upset) #but i cannot shake those images from the bts of person-who's-definitely-con lying on the deck as ed puts a coat over him #and then the funeral and grave on the beach #THAT ALL BEING SAID i'm holding onto that one reviewer on twitter who saw the finale already #and said they have as much faith if not more in jenkins and co after the finale #i do find it hard to believe they'd really sacrifice izzy like that #even though i can imagine at least one scenario that would make it plausible but it would still be kinda shitty #I just... mmmm.....i really dont know how this will go #and im afraid to be around fandom when or if it does lol #ultimately my greatest fear is that if they do kill him or another beloved character off it affects our renewal chances #like no matter what happens yall gotta campaign hard

[hella1975]

assigning a character the highest honour like *adds go home by julien baker to their playlist*

#and by honour i mean pointing at them like TRAUMATISED! TRAUMATISED! TRAUMATISED! #like yeah relating to this song is a red flag actually. yeah it's one of the most personal songs in the world to me #and i actively am not allowed to listen to it some days bc it makes me significantly worse #even if im in a GOOD mood because of the layers upon layers of emotions ive associated with it #yeah i literally wont even blorbo post to this song even if it's accurate to a character because it's so personal #so they have to be REALLY FUCKING SPECIAL AND FUCKED IN THE HEAD to get this honour. enter touya #i made him a playlist im going crazy like yeah actually of course i was always gonna be weird about him #like he's got fire themes. he's got body horror. he just wanted to be good. he's ethel cain coded. he's georgia coded #he's got mommy AND daddy AND sibling issues. he's the only other character ive let even come close to mary on a cross #he's a waiting room girlie. he's an archer girlie. im tearing my hair the fuck out of my scalp #why does the first character ive latched onto this hard since CHUUYA have to be from mha of all things #like that's embarassing for me im embarassed to be here. and yet #touya todoroki #the thing that makes me sick about touya is yes the abuse he went through via his quirk and his dad etc etc #but also bc sekota peak happened when he was 13 right? and he's 24 now? that's 11 years unaccounted for #like ik it's confirmed his burns put him in a coma for 3 years and all for one and the dr guy just stapled his stubborn self together #which is something else i will YELL MY HEAD OFF ABOUT WHAT THE FUCKKKKK HE WAS A CHILD STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT #but im pretty sure it's confirmed that after 3 years he goes off again on his own? which still leaves him as a teenager? #like he straight up burns himself alive at 13 wakes up at 16 and reappears at 24 with dyed hair and piercings and a bad attitude #and im not supposed to wonder? or get upset? like i absolutely am leaning into the 'he was on the streets' angle bc i hate myself #and that's devastating and also what alternative is there logically like he has NOTHING #no home no money no name that he can feasibly use not even an appearance that will warrant anything but more cruelty #so youve got this child on the streets with injuries that absolutely cause insane amounts of pain daily he's literally STAPLED together #and he's completely alone and the only thing getting him through is this growing hatred and rage #like id set all my plans around killing the guy that put me there too actually just to fucking get me out of bed in the morning #I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM. WHERE WAS HE FOR THE PAST DECADE. HORIKOSHI PLEASE #I WANNA GO HOME IM SICK THERES MORE WHISKEY THAN BLOOD IN MY VEINS MORE TAR THAN AIR IN MY LUNGS #PIERCE MY SKIN NEEDLES TO WORN OUT RAGS THE FOLDS IN MY ARMS THE SICKENING BLACK AND I HAVENT BEEN TAKING MY MEDS #I KNOW MY BODY IS JUST DIRTY CLOTHES IM TIRED OF WASHING MY HANDS GOD I WANT TO GO HOME

[mokutone]

A dumb lil headcanon I have is that Yamato was assigned Naruto’s legal guardian in shippuden. (And that before it was Hiruizen, then Kakashi, then Jiraiya) just for convenience because he’s watching over Naruto all the time anyways.

oh god. sorry my response got really long but the fact is anyone even breathes a word of yamato being fatherly to naruto and i lose my shit and start beating my fist against the earth sobbing and shaking and etc.

now TO BE FAIR. i think if anyone should be naruto's legal guardian it should probably be iruka because iruka was the one who took care of naruto when naruto needed it most, and canonically naruto thinks of iruka as a father figure so much that he like, asks him to act as his father at his wedding, and he has this whole moment as a kid

THAT SAID. i like ur ask, and when it comes to the idea of legal responsibilities, i find the idea of Yamato being granted (even temporary) guardianship over Naruto to be extremely funny and entertaining.

i think yamato would personally take a lot of pride in that and really enjoy it. i think he would love nothing more than to have a practical, obligatory tie to enable him in his desire to take care of the people he loves. i also think that he would be obnoxious about it, at least a little bit. partially because his sense of humor is a little weird, and partially because he has no idea how to act as a guardian figure.

like i think he'd say shit like "bedtime! that's an order!" and naruto would be like "oh, piss off!" and then yamato would use his scary face and naruto would get even more frustrated, and the whole time yamato would be like "wow, naruto is a great kid (if a little disobedient!) and this is such a fun game we are playing, even if it tires me out :)"

unfortunately i think, out of all the guardian/mentor figures that naruto has had, (sandaime, iruka, kakashi, jiraiya, tsunade, those elderly frogs, yamato...) i think yamato is the one he is least close with, and would least like to be a permanent fixture in his life.

i'm not saying that he doesn't like yamato, just that...i would be really surprised if there's a point after yamato gets captured, where naruto is like "man, we should really save yamato!" y'know?

i could be wrong! i haven't gotten there yet. but like. i'm not anticipating it. thats okay tho i love naruto and hes got a lot going on.

picture below is more related to the tags than the text

#yamswers #agstudio9 #sorry for SUCH a long response but i am constantly thinking about them bc yamato seems to care so much abt his stepstudent #that said. the idea of a story where yamato gets put in charge of naruto PURELY bc he has the mokuton + naruto has the 9tails #and naruto confuses and entertains tenzō #and tenzō upsets and frustrates and unnerves naruto #is an EXTREMELY funny concept to me. #especially if it happens before the shippuden timeline. now. listen. im being very silly here...but hear me out #imagine your name is [actually you don't have a name] and your ninja president tells you its time to be a ninja guardian to this ninja kid #and the kid is freaked out by you because you're impossible for him to get a read on and you scare him sometimes #and on top of that your former captain is laughing at you and the young man who was taking care of this kid is pissed and maybe jealous? #like it has all the makings of one of those wacky early 2000s movies about fail dads and their rebelious children #''THIS SUMMER...WATCH AN OUT OF TOUCH BLACK OPS SOLDIER TRY TO RAISE...KONOHAS DEMON FOX????'' #now in theatres! #oh agstudio9. now im thinking on this. now im really dwelling on it. #iruka being over all the time bc he does not like the way this is shaping out and feels frustrated that naruto's guardian was assigned— #—not based on care or relationship to the boy. but on kekkei-genkai. but trying not to take it out on tenzō whose just Doing His Job #tenzō who has to learn how to make food more complex than vegetables in a pan/reheated frozens/Survival Gruel #ah. and. and maybe kakashi + tenzō dual-leading team 7 from the get-go... :) bc sasuke needs a sharingan-using teacher :)

[snekdood]

Some of yall deeply underestimate how much some cis men are threatened by trans men and our masculinity. How theres so many cis dudes out there that want to rape us, thinking that will make us detransition. How many incels out there are mad at us for betraying womanhood and not sucking their dick. How much they want to force us to detransition, how much they want to kill us and force us into hiding which, to me, minus well be killing us since theyre smothering who we are for the sake of a status quo. We shake their fundamental understanding of the world. Its one thing for a GIRL to be a tomboy to them. They think its cute, like a baby pretending to be an adult. Its a whole other thing for someone percieved as a woman to try to actually be a man to them. They think thw fact we have the gal to assume we can escape their grasp, to escape the kitchen or whatever tf, means we're disrespecting them and trying to "destroy" them, rather than what it really is, us trying to be independent. We're the exact thing these types of cis men hate. Sometimes they tolerate (emphasis here bc im not saying they accept yall. Dont twist my words)trans women bc they fetishize them but they want to completely eradicate us becayse we threaten the patriarchy by virtue of deciding we dont need a man to take care of us, we want to be the man that takes care of ourselves.

#and bc ik how some of yall are on this site and how uncharitable you are let me be clear: just because they TOLERATE trans women/fems #sometimes. doesnt mean i think they actually respect you or see you as you. im not abot to say you somehow have it easier. they want to use #you and then dump your body somewhere. im well aware of that. but they *also* want to entirely entrap us and our identities and keep us #smothered with no escape. its why were seeing child marriage laws. its why were seeing anti abortion laws. its why we're seeing rights #stripped away from ppl wrongly percieved as women becayse theyre so threatened by us and how we think we can be on our own #that they have to try more extreme measures ro control us our bodies and self expression. its why candace owens goes on saying #'does women voting actually do any good for anyone??' #and no. entrapment isnt them somehow caring about us mlre than you. thats their alternative to killing us but its not an alternative bc it #fundamentally strips us of our rights and autonomy. and also. entrapping us and forcing us out of our gender. like i said. minus well be #killing us. its not likely we'll just get to run away free from these men if they get this type of power. its more likely they kill us for #even daring to betray them their values and words. #so how tf is anyone more privileged in this situation? in trans spaces? can we really fucking say someone has it worse rn. #is it really worth it to try to divide and weigh who has it worse. bc they want both os us dead for being who we are. #and its not like they dont offer yall an out to. its just their out is ALSO basically killing yourself bc they want you to conform to #cishet white manhood. #also it goes both ways. cis women are like this towards trans women. its the proximity effect. #where you get more upset with different people who are also more like you than other ppl #the difference i'd argue though is cis men- at least the ones in power- have more of an ability to remove us than cis women #like its easier for them to do.

[yuridovewing]

Feel like one of the best ways you can convince someone that no, villains with compelling motives that have sad backstories are not terrible writing compared to straight up born evil villains who just want to kill everyone and be done with it, is to tell them that Warrior Cats writes born evil villains constantly while literally preaching “That’s how evil works, you can’t CHANGE, you’re either touched by demons at birth or you aren’t!” and it blows chunks

#brokenstar tigerstar hawkfrost darktail one eye etc etc would all be so much more interesting if they werent so one note #and just had ‘’born evil’’ slapped on as their explanation for being evil #‘’ew why are you woobifying tigerstar’’ because i think a villain who feels emotion besides ‘’evil’’ and ‘’angry’’ and actually does care #about his clanmates but is also a bigot that deserves to be beaten down is more interesting than canon #to get like real world political here… abusive people and bigots like. are not one note born evil demons #they have loved ones and reasons for turning out the way they did. and im not saying that to go ‘’so you need to give them grace!’’ #im saying that because the line of thinking that every bad person is a super obvious mustache twirling villain with no soul #makes it so that people justify abuse and crimes from REAL people. like ‘’oh my friend says some racist things but he isnt BAD! he loves me! #would an abusive person be nice to his wife in public? of course not!’’ #and its rhetoric like that that lets abuse and bigotry thrive. if you put the world in categories of born evil and born good #then you will dismiss all the ‘’good’’ people in your life who have done horrible things with ‘’but she donated to charity once’’ #i mean. hell this LITERALLY happens in wc where the ‘’born good’’ characters are abusive and murderously xenophobic #where characters like clear sky and blackstar just get a sticker like ‘’oh you cant be TOO mad at them! theyre good at heart!’’ #‘’ignore all the times they killed vulnerable people for the crime of being born somewhere they didnt like! they were nice to a kid once!’’ #the message there is literally ‘’bad people cant REALLY be bad if theyre nice to people sometimes’’ #like. im not even mad at clear sky being motivated by witnessing his loved ones starve to death for why hes such an abusive control freak #thats an interesting reason to become a villain especially since the change happened when he was put in a position of power #the problem is not him having a sad backstory. the problem is the erins think his sad backstory means he was never that bad #and anyone who’s upset at him can go eat shit and die cause he looked sad #like. i get this line of thinking often comes from writers doing this for abuse apologism and just wanting to see abusers be held accountabl #accountable #but how exactly does it help victims of abuse to portray abusers and bigots in a christian ‘’touched by the devil’’ light

[softshuji]

y'know it's a night when hal sits and eats cereal in the dark room at 1.30am.

#i was thinking abt it earlier #but i've been crying so much lately like so much. almost every second day if not every day and i dont know why #actually i do kinda know why. #i think im hitting my limit with a lot of things and one of them is my parent dumping their problems on me #earlier today my mom told me again abt the whole debacle with my dad cheating on her multiple times and everyone knows i find this subject #too much for me i dont tlike to think about it or anything and im so tired of hearing it and especially when i lived through it trust me i #was literally there the whole cheating subject is very raw to me for many reasons and im just tired of being the emotional dump so often #especially because she always comes to me for everything all the time and im so sos tire d #everyone always tells me i should consider my own needs as a person and its okay to have them and yk in theory i agree with this but i just #cant. i grew up not having any needs met so how can i let myself have them now it makes me feel absolutely awful with myself to even #consider having to ask for something off someone and yet i know how wrong this is iknow needa and desires and wants are natural #but mine have always been on the back burner for everyone else. so its' no surprise ive let myself think im something to be used for other #peoples sake. whether that be physically or emotionally and especially the latter. because thats how i see myself someitmes. something #something to make people feel betetr about themselves that has no use outside of how i make them feel - just something to use until they #move onto the next best thing. something more entertaining and better value whatever that might mean something with less feelings less #sensitive. it feels like sometimes thats what i am. the indestructible never breaking hal that somehow has a solution to everything and can #always be there to fix every issue and is there to make people feel better but needs nothing in response #and god it really does feel like my problems dont mean anything to anyone #it does feel like no one thinks theyre worth anything #not worth listening to not worth thr same attention etcetc and yknow what i hate hate hate asking for attention and yet i get upset when i #feel like im not actually being heard or listened to #and i find it happens so often. sometimes i wanna hear it just once for once i wanna hear 'hey its okay to be upset i wish i could hug you' #or something like that god i dont want to be strong and nursing my wounds in private anymore #god i want a hug so bad and someone to just let me cry on them just once i want to be held and told someones got me instead of me doing it #for everyone else all the time #is thisselfish? it feels selfish to say #this is why it affects me so deeply whenever anyone does validate me or tells me its ok to want things or that im loved or anything nice #god i cant handle niceness at all it feels like it knocks me so bad it takes me ages to recover #and yet somehow all i can tell myself is that theyre only saying nice things because theyre being obligated to and not becayuse they feel #like they actually like me

[235uranium]

back from the barbie movie and I certainly have Thoughts on what the movie was doing but overall I do think it's worth seeing! it's fun

#☢️.txt #spoilers in tags! #i think what they did with ken is actually really fascinating and while i do get why the movie doesnt focus on his motivations #or the fantasy politics of barbieland #i AM personally interested in them #like his frustration is coming from a legitimate place and the movie does acknowledge that both barbie (margot) and the barbies overall were #Not In The Right and its not the actual solution to the issue of feminism #in the same way that the movie acknowledged that barbie didnt solve feminism and in many cases ended up playing into #the very ideas that prevent women from pursuing the jobs barbie is often shown in #im sure ppl will critique the movie for not going far enough but like. i dont think their point was to make a massive statement? #so much as it was to make a campy blockbuster that gently acknowledges the ways people can so often feel left out #its not the feminist piece of a generation so much as it is a love letter to barbie that acknowledges how shes #an inherently flawed consumerist brand. but one thats deeply cherished by generations and has left a massive pink stamp on our culture #(its probably worth noting that i have generally positive memories of barbie) #(despite being a weird fat kid i never personally felt alienated by barbie and my memories are extremely fond) #(i didnt like baby dolls bc. i never have liked kids but barbie was a fantasy in sparkly dresses) #(she was married to my dinosaur toys. ive always known what im about yes) #my favorite barbies were swan lake a halloween witch barbie and a halloween ghost barbie #(also idk is this an autistic thing for me to only learn most young girls compared their bodies to barbie at like 14?) #(like it just never dawned on me to compare my looks to a toy tbqh. i was more upset by the actual lack of clothing in my size)

[0bsc3ne]

bitching abt my partner again so i can get it out of my system and not let it fester

had a Discussion yesterday and i said how i didn't like that i, someone who naturally wakes up early and has to go to bed around 11-midnight to get decent sleep, have been spending the last few months either sleep deprived or forced to use sleeping pills to sleep, when he sleeps in til fucking noon, even on the two days we both have off and can, yk, spend time doing things in the morning together, and then he complains that we never do anything outside (bc we live in florida. anything after noon is just a fucking sauna.)

anyways. i ask if he can start waking up earlier. he says he'll wake up at 10 today. i go, ok, thank you, but what does that prove? that you can do it once? i've been changing my schedule for months. i want to hear that you'll try to do it consistently. (And 10 isn't early anyways, but i didn't say that). he insists he's going to do it. makes sure i see him set an alarm in front of me and everything. so anyways. 10:01 i get a text that he's going to sleep a little more.

man.

#i also asked him to wash his hair more often bc he has REALLY nice long hair but its always fuckin greasy #unless he has some formal performance or i ask him to wash it #and he said hed wash it tonight and like. thanks. but like. can you maybe stsrt doing it without reason or me having to ask you #like a fucking toddler #anyways my hopes arent high #and its so fuckign pathetic that ill be thrilled if i come over to see him and its washed #honestly. #every day im closer and closer to just. breaking up #i love him. i reqlly do #but i think i love what he could be more than what hes actually willing to be #and its so upsetting #bc its judt. #if he says he wants me to do something #i fucking do it #i got a fucking minimum wage soulsucking job bc he said he thought having more steady income and a routine would help me #and it does. but he also complains now when i have to sleep at 9pm so i can get up for morning shifts #but he also complains when i work during the times he has off #and its not like. a controlling way at all. for the record. trust me on that #its just the like. Frustrating way. like suck it up and cope buttercup i am the one who is dealing with more right now. #in that situation at least #this got long but #you see my point #its just. so upsetting. #and again. i love him #i do #hes great in so many aspects and he has the same goals and its all so Good #but. god. fuck. #is this really what i want to deal with for the rest of my life when i know i can be perfectly happy and fulfilled in life without a partne

[placeinthisworld]

.

#bro i know it sounds silly but i feel so fucking stupid for still struggling w my mh the way that i do #like it’s so embarrassing i’m literally bullying myself in my brain to the point of wanting to relapse and for what reason? #my brain is just so fucked up? and the one therapist i was actually honest with dumped me bc i was too complicated??? #like i swear to goooood it’s just easier to *** but like how do you get over that feeling of just not being good enough or stable enough #or smart enough or nice enough #genuinely not sure if it’s the stress or anxiety or if i’m really just not good enough for this #i can’t tell if i’m being dramatic or if it’s my bpd making me upset or if how i feel is justified and i literally have nobody to tell me #just a rant bc i’m so fucking sad i could do something bad about it but im consciously not does that mean anything?

[strwbrymlkshake]

Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(

#mine #oh boy here we go. guy last post was about has been pretty cool and i got flustered around him a few times #but i feel bad bc. i need m o r e he isnt insane enough he isnt making me go absolutely crazy i want to be satisfied but im NOT im sorry #like its quite honestly the most attention acceptance etc ive gotten but its not ENOUGH he doesnt die whenever i send a selfie #im never satisfied WHY i have unrealistic expectations !!!! i hate my brain killing and violence and death etc #i get crushes on guys who want nothing to do with me but then when one actually wants me its not enough? what is wrong with me #thrill of the chase? i cant accept being loved? what is it brain. christ almighty. im not doing anything like deliberately yandere related #anymore im just being generally incomprehensibly mentally ill 🙄 still trying to find a therapist but idk how on earth ill explain that #ill update this post tomorrow with more insanity but for now i am the sleepy tired #// ok its now 3 days later i dont feel like making another post. i think i was just having a mental illness moment as always #because he does make me insane. hashtag girl. im trying to be the smartest and calculated i have ever been with a relationship in my life #like im thinkin about it so hard bro. the future n shit. how would this relationship go. im so scared ill do something wrong its preventing #me from doing things RIGHT. im sad becaude i flipped out today over even imagining him being upset with me a little #so i was really embarrassed and it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the night but he reassured me he doesnt hate me or want me to die #every one aaalways says theyre different. i can only hope this one is telling the truth. i dont know what ill do if he isnt. #well i need to stop whining about fictional scenarios and focus on the good stuff in reality. i get along with him very well and he #is very niceys to me :3 he doesnt think im fucking insane or stupid for overreacting. i feel very comfortable gossiping and talking w him #every long time blog viewer of mine reading this like ah shit here we go again #but thats what im here for. i guess. just have to keep doing this shit until something good finally happens to me romantically hngh #i feel so strange because i have wanted and yearned for a relationship but now that i actually could have one im like WAIT #I DIDNT THINK ID GET THIS FAR 💀💀💀 bruh. and he doesnt even think im stupid hes respectful to me he checks in on me all the time #like perhaps the only person to ever actually almost match my energy in a romantic sense. there was [redacted] i guess but he didnt love me #he listens to me talk about my problems he doesnt think i complain or overreact too much. all the ridiculous cringe shit i do #he doesnt mind it. its nice to be able to be myself. and im really proud of myself for not rushing into a relationship right away

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#shout out to the person at the [redacted] admissions office who gave me a typo-ed email to sent my transcript to #and i missed it bc idk im dyslexic and didnt expect to get the wrong email address from the graduate office #i would never have known if one of my transcripts didnt bounce back. like jesus. i would have been so sad #now im just gonna b real paranoid abt electronic transcripts. hopefully its fine bc dec 1 wasnt a hard deadline but thst was the priority #deadline. idk if they also needed official transcripts by then as well. fucking hell #i was gonna try to go to sleep early. now its 10.30 and im upset #everything is just. its all terrible. and i actually have to get shit done tomorrow like actually actually so im gonna have to suck it up #and just idk just do it. well see how much damage that does me #16 days. i have to made it 16 more days. 2 weeks and a bit. that's all #but the floorboards are rotting out from under my feet and i really dont wanna have to go to my boss like yo im like genuinely having a #breakdown so like fuck everything we had planned for December my brain is collapsing in on itself #8 to 10 months. assuming i get accepted somewhere. thats how long i have to stay. too long #i dont kno what im gonna do if being home doesnt heal me. it hasnt at any other point this year so blah #unrelated

[todayisafridaynight]

INCREDIBLY FUNNY that I refused to settle for just saying "bread" but yes it was those! So in that sense, the lavish bread physics are integral to conveying how important the little things were in getting him through prison. Still, for the sake of the drip…...... perhaps sacrifices are needed...

But yeah, I'm thrilled you noticed those things about the evolution of Jo's design, too! It's super interesting to think about in terms of storytelling, I don't think you're inarticulate in saying that at all. Speaking of, I also just look up "holder" to find prev asks at this point lol

Jo and Ichi's dynamic is also a major topic of interest for me (as we've seen). I think a lot of what's going on with them is definitely some variation of "old habits die hard." That's natural when you form that kind of uneasy coexistence. But like you mentioned, it's also telling that Jo picked up the nickname in the first place, because I went back through the entire script, and it really is the case that only Arakawa, Masato, Jo, and the people who raised Ichi call him that. It's reserved for his family.

I think this line about Aoki (that I completely forgot about before looking at the script again lol) may also shed some light: "A long time ago, I knew him as the young master. He knew me as Ichi." Because they all do that, don't they? Ichi still says Captain, Boss, and Young Master, Jo still says Boss, Ichi, and Young Master, Aoki still says Dad and Ichi.

Even though on paper these relationships should've dissolved with Ichi being expelled, Masato becoming Aoki, and Jo taking over as second patriarch, to one another, they're all still who they used to be. And as an aspect of how they communicate, the "learned language" that forms in families, it stands out when they're all on the same page with the terms they choose to use.

This line from Ichi also stood out to me: "But my aniki taught me different. He said whoever makes the first move is the victor. The guy with steel balls wins." Like, that's clearly Jo, right? For one thing, the "flavor" of aniki is different from Captain, of course--one is directly an appointed post, and one is more open to interpretation--but it also clearly shows that Jo's imparted his "philosophy" to Ichi in some ways.

I think, to a degree, it's one of those holdovers from RGGO that wasn't fully implemented. Because they're more or less the same in RGGO in this regard, but RGGJo does outright say it makes him weirdly happy that Ichi still calls him Captain, so that's a clearer indicator and makes the idea feel more "complete."

With what I said before about their "learned language," too, the Arakawa Family has this way of saying goodbye that's specific to them, and I really miss it in Y7. It is referenced briefly, but it's not a "thing" like it was in RGGO. It's kinda like how The Gang in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia greet each other with "Hey-ohhh!" LMAO idk but. I Enjoy. But that's also why it stood out to me that LaD8Jo greets Ichi the same way as Y7Jo and RGGJo.

ALSO that is so sick the author of Soliloquy saw your art…… incredible……….. + as an aside since I was reminded, it's very true that sometimes people seem to "fill in the blanks" with tropes, and my favorite is honestly when it's both funny and offensive. There was this whole "phase" (and to everyone's credit it was short-lived) of playing Mine up like this Huge Misogynist because he's not attracted to women, and it's WILD to recognize that he's gay but still pull up homophobic tropes for funsies.

Like I was mad at the time mostly on account of the mischaracterization (because come on, even if you've only seen Y3, he is still uncharacteristically soft with Katase… not that he wasn't INSANE for The Slap, but it also wasn't at all rooted in the same things as say, Nishiki slapping Reina might've been.) But it was funny. Perhaps not in the way it was intended to be, but it was funny. And, you know, that's why I'm happy to stay in my own little corner as well.

You coulda just said bread it's ok 😭 I WAS right though it WAS a carb......

On the subject of language though, it's def something I picked up on (if my last ask wasn't any indication lmao)! It's a real neat detail and something I think helps push that 'family' theme Y7 has going on (or at the very least demonstrates how despite the times changing, they still have those bonds with each other whether they acknowledge it or not), it definitely being a case of picking up a habit/term from family.

About tropes in fan works though, I can't act like I'm guiltless of it LMAO so I don't have too strong of a leg to stand on when it comes to criticizing it (and I can't lie, sometimes I do find playing into the trope funny if it's at least based on something from the text and it's just exaggerated For The Bit yeah). However I do think the strangest thing was linking misogyny and Mine (I made a post rambling about it but deleted it like. .3 seconds later) because nothing he does in either Y3 nor RGGO is explicitly misogynistic? In the slightest? And as we talked about before he's considerably pretty respectful towards women? Again, he surely did slap a little girl, but it wasn't because she was a girl you know (still cringe to do but if we're gonna talk about it let's do it right please and thank you). As you say though, pushing that trope onto Mine just feels like perpetuating the harmful stereotype that gay men hate women, and in cases like that then I can't really take the piss out of it without having a weird taste in my mouth.

#long post #snap cahts #on the note about language though..... you just reminded me that i wanted to make fun of jo for his particular usage of 'balls' ☠️☠️ #like first time i was like fine. yk it's a common saying but then second time i was just Alright I Got It Champ Balls Are Crazy #and if jo really WAS the one to say that to ichi then like.. my guy.. three times is no longer a coincidence.. whole lotta talk bout balls. #in all seriousness though that much repetition from jo really does help confirm that the quote ichi says /is/ from him #and helps validate that bond they had. because sure jo's an asshole but it's clear ichi still took his words to heart #in that respect. i like that jo has a favorite term- its pretty human i guess you can say #cause yk we all have certain phrases or words we like to particularly use so its sweet to see that. in the funniest way possible but still #SORRY im five i still laugh at dick jokes anyways #NO NOT TO GET CONTROVERSIAL BUT ABOUT NISHIKI SLAPPING REINA i see so few people talk about it #and if they do they try to make reina seem like the villain and that nishiki was faultless for hitting her... like what... #i mean reina wasn't being nice in that scene but she was also upset about losing people she loved too.. #like yeah nishiki hitting reina is diff from mine hitting haruka- both dick actions but def diff #hitting a kid after you talk bout bulldozing their home and then they Rightfully hit you for it yk. cringe. get it together she's 13 ☠️ #threw hands with a 13 y/o moment... actual mustache-twirling-evil shit LMAO #with nishiki it's like. my man that's your friend... you guys are going through shit together why are you getting mad at her.. #we get it youre insecure but dont take that out on your friend bro she's distraught too #im gona ruffle SOMEONS feathers with them tags i just know it.... oh well #point is. dont hit kids dont hit your friends and dont hit women. unless it's consensual then by all means go WWE on each other