#ill go fuck myself now

[pictureday2005]

DONT REPOST THIS thanks

#home #mine #turning reblogs off and taking it out of tags for a while #i might just delete it #it feels fucking dehumanizing none of you were here nobody knows what happened in these walls #even the people who live there now who probably trashed the place #neither did the people who took that grand piano out in pieces #none of you will ever understand how much i lost when they took me from here #that little girl is dead shes fucking dead and im living in some cruel imitation of her #and every time ive tried to kill myself its been so i could go home again #but i cant ill nevet go home shell never go home home isnt real anymore #r

[aroaceleovaldez]

the “canon” fatal flaw that bugs me the most is that Nico’s is allegedly supposed to be “holding grudges” but LITERALLY EVERYTHING HE DOES SAYS OTHERWISE

the only instances we get of Nico even remotely doing anything with a “grudge” is him spontaneously, randomly, on rare occasion referencing being grumpy at something - THAT HE IS ENTIRELY VALID TO BE UPSET AT - and then does nothing with that. other than maybe continue to be vaguely grumpy about it and then drop it. In fact, Nico is consistently EXTREMELY forgiving to people despite him having perfectly valid reasons to not forgive them. Percy literally choked Nico and ditched him in the Underworld and Nico STILL brought Percy to the River Styx and faced off against Hades to bring THREE gods and an army of the undead to Percy’s aid, despite Hades actively suggesting alternatives to Nico and encouraging Nico to not do that.

Nico’s fatal flaw is so clearly either that he does not let go of things (not the same as holding grudges) OR that he’s far too willing to put others before himself, often directly putting himself at risk instead. He’s too self-sacrificial. He was explicitly willing to trade HIMSELF for Bianca and extremely resistant to letting go of her. He put himself on the line facing against Hades to help Percy MULTIPLE TIMES. He risked getting in trouble with the Underworld to bring back Hazel. He WILLING WENT INTO TARTARUS to try to close the Doors of Death himself. He offered to shadow-travel the Athena Parthenos for Reyna despite knowing it would most likely kill him. Etc. etc. The closest Nico has ever gotten to “holding a grudge” was being mad at Leo for faking his own death, and even then he was only Mildly Annoyed and got over it pretty quickly after Leo returned.

Nico “holding grudges” is a load of bull. Percy’s loyalty? Annabeth’s hubris? Absolutely true. Percy’s loyalty to Annabeth and Annabeth’s hubris are what got them pulled into Tartarus (also, interestingly - Percy’s hubris in TLO and Annabeth’s loyalty taking a knife for him is what nearly got them killed then). Nico, though? Nico’s willingness to put himself on the line for the sake of others is what nearly got him killed in BoTL and TLO and HoO and brought him to Tartarus multiple times, now! “Holding grudges,” yeah, right.

#pjo #nico di angelo #percy jackson #riordanverse #I AM FOREVER MAD ABOUT THIS #nico is OCCASIONALLY GRUMPY AT BEST #he holds grudges like a fucking strainer holds water #he has SO MANY OPPORTUNITIES TO BE MAD AT PERCY ABOUT SO MANY THINGS THAT ARE ENTIRELY VALID #and instead he EXPLICITLY goes ''why am i physically incapable of being mad at Percy?'' #''guess ill just try to convince myself he's annoying or something and hope it goes away'' #Nico is the embodiment of the ''You have befriended Nico! Nico would now DIE FOR YOU'' #he does it for Percy. he does it for Hazel. he does it for Reyna. THE LIST GOES ON #if someone tolerates his presence they could tell him to go swan dive into Tartarus and he'd do it #anyways tune in next week or something for me to make a shitpost animatic that directly contradicts this char analysis

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

the picnic table scene

#this isnt going to make sense to literally any of you for a long time and im sorry about that #but FUCK was i writing this morning #man. man man man man Man the motivation Hit #this fic might get done after all... #i need. to go sleep. OUASGAHSAKJSNCADCLSKDVMS; #THEY MAKE ME INSANE THEY MAKE ME INSANE #YALL ALREADY KNOW WHO IM TALKING ABOUT #THEY MAKE ME CRAZY AGH AGH AGH #ok. ok. ill sleep. and we'll see if the scene holds up when my brain is Refreshed #absolutely unprompted #throwing myself to the ground and howling #who do i need to BITE #oh 7 am me we're really in it now #literally getting myself too worked up. im. Emotional. i almost feel like tearing up #if that was something i could do lmao #fortunately crying does not come easily to me but in my heart im like. idk. Sobbing #anyway in order to calm down im gonna go think about something that makes me equally insane #which is the OG reason i designed a butterfly look for howdy. yass!howdy's origins <3 #slamming my face through drywall ok bye im off to crazyville where i can catch a layover to sleepytown

[skitskatdacat63]

Hello guys!!!!! Aforementioned project is finally finished 🫠 It was meant to be just a simple weekend project, and ended up being 30+ hours over the period of like four days. I don't think I'm an actual normal human anymore. This is the project that caused everyone in my life to question my mental and physical wellbeing and health. But I'm super excited to share this all of you!!!! Please enjoy!!!! Even if you don't like vettonso, I hope this is still interesting????

If you make any, please reblog this or tag me in it! I'm excited to see what other people, other than just me suffering alone in my bedroom, make out of this!!! <3

#jesus christ i cant believe i actually made this 😭😭 #originally earlier last week i was like ahhh i wanna draw more of them in different eras(like the timeswap au) #and then randomly wanted to draw every single racesuit(nightmare) #and then im like WAIT I CAN MAKE A PICREW OUT OF THIS #no joke when i say i dont think i was a human this weekend #it was truly: eat. sleep. draw. eat. draw. sleep. draw. eat. draw. draw. sleep. #the screentime count on my ipad is soooooo fucking bad im ashamed dhfjfkkg #i dont think picrews are meant to be made in the span of a weekend #*weakly* i did it~ #again as i said in the description. please request if you want anything added!!! #i dont know if ill get to it immediately bcs i just spent 30+ hours psychologically torturing myself #i actually feel so ill JSJFKGLGLG but im happy w it and i wouldnt have gone back and changed any of the process #tho the evolution of 'im having so much fun' to groaning every time i opened up my ipad again was so funny #thank you so much to suzuki i could have never have done this without your support and encouragement 🥹🥹 #hoping this picrew works as a blood sacrifice to the good health and wellbeing of the amr24. the car that is launching today! #also istg i am going to dm shill and self reblog this with no shame. it is my magnum opus(as of now) #now i am going to sleep and not touch my ipad for a while djfkkglg #f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #fernando alonso #catie.art. #vettonso #normal posts that catie normally makes in a normal fashion

[partoftheairforce]

there are no words for what this image is doing to me

#oh! #oh alright! #so they’re out to kill me now! #the mustache is so fucking hot i’m going to kill myself already #he’s just so perfect #it’s crazy and i’m mentally ill #it’s making my brain into mush and i’m crying again #FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK #WHY IS HE SO FUCKING UNREAL #THIS IS CRAZY #THIS IS FUCKING MENTAL BEHAVIOUR #IS ANYONE SEEING THIS OR JUST ME #HELP ME #the 1975 #matty healy #ross macdonald

[dilfhos]

i feel a lot of yall that say they hate mahito are pre -tty comfy on that wagon. pretty sure some of yall would deep down let that him worm-wiggle in ur cooch. would probably let them dozen or so wiggling hands feel on you too. imagine the many touches he could leave with his mouth alone. or ur just scared to admit it and its okay. its okay you refuse to look closely at the chisel denting his torso. at the off guard pretty glances or the hair akin to a dead raccoon’s tail. maybe his luscious lashes fr turn you off or the pathetic way he giggles. its okay. his home isn’t much either, but its honest work if you kick away the rat bones to the other side, then its okay. he won’t be able to defend you either, but if you’re strong enough to be near him that’s okay!

see its okay 😌🧘‍♀️ you’re safe now. put down your pitchfork.

#[ just in—☆ ] #mahito #im here if you want to talk #this blog is now a safehaven for the m*hito fuckers🩵 #he can expand my domain anytime idc #after a bath of course!! #cant have the girlies thinkin i fuck dirties 🙄 #ill wear his kids #i mean his merch ill wear his merch everywhere #and put up cute little signs like: have you seen my disfigured rat :(( plz call. dont on weekdays #its okay TOTO I GOTCHU #lmao plz dont take this srs i was pissing myself writing this #if i cant go hard for the hated what kinda fan am i really djdhdhdhdh *a normal one don. a normal one*

[wasabijean]

hey osmosis jonesers you can read it here

#osmosis jones #oj draft script #MAKING THAT A TAG NOW BECAUSE. I NEED TO. I have plans. :3 #this fuckign script was one or my roman empires actually #so if you ever wanted to know how a pg-13 osmosis jones wouldve gone…. here we go #personally im tagging any spoiler-ish art ill be making becuase I need to draw #one of the scenes where … no comment but holy shit. Ozzy you sad mother fucker #did i mention drix is more fleshed out here too. like he goes through severe self worth and identity issues as a manufactured creation and #yeah what the fuck! #ALSO T(RAX IS FUCKING BRUTAL??!28??!!? hes funny as hell thogurh in this #ozzy/leah divorce era is atcually real…. kills myself oooo ooo angst #also the parallels between the failing system of frank’s immunity and irl police systeMS ESPECIALLY DURIGN THE TIME OF WHEN THIS WAS WRITTE #TLDR. we couldve had it all. fuck the farelly brothers and fuck wb

[acequeenking]

Fandom: Tekken

Relationship: Kazama Jun/Mishima Kazuya

Rating: Explicit (this one has sexy times so not for kiddos)

THIS IS POST TEKKEN 8. BIG TEKKEN 8 SPOILERS. DON'T READ IT WITHOUT FINISHING THE GAME UNLESS YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT SPOILERS.

Additional Tags: Reunion, Reunion sex, Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Awkward Conversations About Not-So-Accidentally Trying to Murder Your Son and Actually Murdering Your Dad and Kind of Accidentally Abandoning Your Unknown Baby-Mama, Forgiveness, Getting Back Together, Dealing with the mental fallout of Tekken 2 to Tekken 8, which for both of them is...a lot, but they're getting there

"I am not the man you want me to be," Kazuya admits. "But that does not mean the man I am does not love you."

"...Still?" Jun asks, the word the only thing that can quite get out of her throat.

#tekken #jun kazama #kazuya mishima #kazjun #kazujun #kazjun week 2024 #kazujunweek2024 #yes this is SO GOD DAMN LATE #But it took on a life of its own and it's 16K so #;_; I throw myself on the mercy of the Kaz/Jun shipping court #this is the last prompt so now I gotta finish the others I started lol #There will probably be a sequel to this with Jin's perspective at some point because I am mentally ill for the Mishimas atm #because I imagine it would be so fucking weird to seeing your dad and mom get together after all...that #my favorite part of this fic is the repetitive aspect where they mirror one another a lot #....and tbh Kaz going GET USED TO YELLING MY NAME WOMAN which I think is the most in character thing I've ever written for him #this man is a service dom and a terror #I tried to write more realistic sex scene for them here and that was also quite fun!

[jorrated]

Everybody masc until the roach goes inside your wardrobe and you no longer see her

#im going to kill myself where is this little whorw #i was going hhmmmmm i think today ill sleep early #*out the corner of my vision sees something fucking move* #i got up to kill it but it crawled inside the wardrobe before i could reach my flip flops #fuck my stupid baka life this insect is playing games with me #now i gotta play brazilian roulette and remove my shoes that are inside the wardrobe #with a 1/6 chance of a cockroach crawling up my arm while i hold a shoe #this year fucki g sucks already

[slutdge]

Not to get deep here or anything but i really think i dont want to have a relationship with my sister anymore and ive been reflecting on that a lot. like sure she didnt abuse me or really do anything to directly traumatize me, but she voted against me having human rights because im queer, as well as voting for a party that wants to harm first nations people despite both of us being first nations i just.... i dont think i can forgive her for that. weve had laughs and good times together but i find myself unable to forgive her for her politics. i wouldn't tolerate bigotry from anyone else, i shouldnt tolerate it from someone just cause theyre family.

#can anyone provide me guidance on this? ill bring it up with my therapist but i dont see her for another week #anyways im making myself cry late at night whats new lol ive been processing a lot this week #ok eta: and theyll always make you feel bad for this!!!!! #theyll be like ''ok so everyone has to bend to your commie regime to have a relationship with you 🙄'' #like yeah actually you do #if you really loved me like you claim to you wouldnt be FUCKING VOTING FOR THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO TAKE MY RIGHTS AWAY #yes you do have to respect my rights if you want to have a relationship with me that is completely reasonable #whats ACTUALLY unreasonable is you asking me to ''just get over'' the fact that yall support people who think i shouldnt have human rights #right wingers will try to gaslight you into believing basic human decency is an unattainable and torturous request #then when you get upset theyll be like ''god the left is so emotional 🙄'' #like yeah. i am. and you should be emotional too about human rights violations. the fact that youre not is pure evil. #anyways ill go cry myself to sleep like a faggot now #it just breaks my heart that i dont have any immediate family members who dont blatantly hate me for being queer/first nations

[todayisafridaynight]

teehee

#snap chats #UGH FINALLY ITS ALL DONE #i still have to make final adjustments on how i have my wig styled and how ill do makeup #ill iron it later i promise i just wanted to try everything on frame one i was too excited ☠️☠️ #buuuut what matters to everyone else rn is The Fit.... Acquired #my name is snap i like to steal rgg mens drip for my own #I HAVE PLANS FOR THE BRIEFCASE BTW its not just gonna hold my belongings. cause i hate myself #i might forgo the idea when i actually go to the con but i do wanna do something silly #but thats for ohhhh october ?? november ??? whenever them plushes coming in #i have two (2) pinstriped suits in my closet now this is egregious #id take a pic of myself all Dressed Up but 1.) No 2.) if you were blind youd still be able to see better than anythin taken with my phone #the canera is awful. plus ive never taken a selfie in my life and i have no full-body mirrors and i most certainly aint askin my bro LMAO #but yeah for now. hehe. #i got so sidetracked doing all this LMAOOOO fuck.

[hauntingblue]

Ivankov blackmailing crocodile... is this when the crocodile mama thing spun out

#but isnt it worrying that he wants to go against whitebeard when he is on ace's side #crocodile got his outfit on already damn #jewels already #the mid episode thingies make me miss the crew.... i miss you franky.... i miss you robin.... i miss you nami.... #ace is looking so beautiful strapped in that chair..... #so urethral #looking at the clouded sun... #luffy looks so much like a boy now #idk what they did to him but considering the situation it just makes it worse...... my liddol boy suffering..... #the prison guards are being subjected to such horrors... and i know theyre not paid well #oh mr 1...... of course......... crocodile dont you fucking dare fuck this up #WHY are people commenting that they think crocodile was a woman before and thats his secret. i though you guys were joking #like hello crocomom is plausible???? what the fuck #like me thinking luffys mom must be beautiful bc he doesnt look like his father AT ALL. but he doesnt look like his other father either lmao #well we havent seen him before so idk but..... #that is such a wild plot to keep luffys mother a secret lmao #anyways if ace knew the alliances luffy is making to get him out. like if he knew anything at this point.... like look how much he loves you #i am making myself suffer atp. ill stop lmao #talking tag #watching one piece #episide 443 #fuck chapter 22 out of 35 (i think) i cant do this

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

helloooo my dearest darling listeners, i am back on my soapbox to regale you all with the marvelous things i witnessed/experienced on my Whimsical As Fuck™️ three hour drive today. not necessarily in order <3

some cute does with bigass floppy ears / very sweet waitress who called me "hon" and put the most tasty looking crepes on my table / a pair of hawks divebombing a golden eagle / a kite (the bird) / a flock of magpies / some GORGEOUS scenery / a rainbow / lovely rain sprinklings / MORE gorgeous scenery, i mean what the fuck / fields of purple/orange/red tipped bushes / a meadow of buttercup-yellow very tall grass, in which many picturesque trees stood / lots of fluffy, adorable, tasty cows / a large herd of likely-feral horses with a wonderful variety of patterns & colors / the fluffiest husky ever / the juxtaposition of cold wind through an open window + warm sunlight / the most stunning snow-coated mountain of whites and blues in the sun, wreathed in clouds / no seriously some really fucking Gorgeous scenery, i was near tears with some of it

#i am feeling. Better Than I Have In A While #you know! last night i was very unhappy that i would have to do this drive! #but after my 2 hour doze in the ihop parking lot #and a nice breakfast of crepes and tea w/ my book #i was feeling better and decided Fuck It. im gonna make myself enjoy this drive #im gonna take my goddamn time and really absorb my surroundings #by fuck i will stop at a rest stop and take a walk! and i did all of it! #life is actually worth it! glad to have continuous confirmation of that #its so nice to drive and actually see things #beautiful landscapes... wildlife... Geography... #instead of just Flat. Scrub. Brown. More Scrub. Dirt. Dead Scrub aka Tumbleweed. Boring Brown Hills. No Weather. #i can go outside the clouds are Full and the air is Fresh and birds are Singing and i am Alive #absolutely unprompted #i expect the feeling of realness to fade soon but i will enjoy it while it lasts! #and maybe if i feel it often enough it will outlast the disconnect! #now i think i am going to treat myself to a pork bun i just bought & get one of the nice beers from the garage #ive Earned It! #you all treat yourself to something you like as well. we have all earned it simply by existing! #you're here today! Yippee! indulge! #im feeling so fucking whimsical today... ill go work on setting up my extra monitor and figuring out how the fuck that works! #my mic has already arrived! i have hope that i will do a test stream Soon!

[wittyworm]

im at my wits FUCKING end

#surely in another timeline tonight would be the night i kill myself #but put of pure stubbornness ill keep going just to see what happems #but damn its a close one #eeveryones so FUCKINGSTUPID and i cant take it anymore im sixk of everyone around me im sick of being poor im sick of Fjjsjfnfn #shorty literally sent a picture of both sides of his new bank card to some stupid fucking gold digger online that hes never met and shes #100%already hacked into the card im screwed im ANGRY #i had to turn the card off #i cant do this #and now my mom wont let me use her car anymore because something started leaking #whil3 i was driving it so #i need to save money i need a car i need to get out of here

[bigmammallama5]

i turned in my paperwork to start selling pots in our art center's gallery shop, so now i gotta bust my ass again to get some more work churned out (which this is very cool, and i need to provide some mugs for a special instructor's "mug event" now). i went and looked around and there wasn't a terribly broad array of work? cups, bowls, mugs, some smaller serving dishes, mostly functional work. i'm thinking i'll do cups, mugs, some small bowls for ease, then i'm thinking some pumpkins (with or without a face or a lid idk), some little shroomies which are easy and cute, and then if i can get them right maybe some of those tumblers with the half lid for straws? maybe some wild clay slip...

but now bc i'm teaching more and i might have a little extra from this now, idk if i'll have the time to dedicate for illustration commissions like i had been hoping to do. im still gonna think about it, and at the very least might find a new online shop to offer prints that isn't redbubble. it's not a light decision to consider. :/

#pottery #stupid rant is stupid #teaching and the few pottery comms i have taken have helped me reach the savings goal i had for myself #and just living like i didnt get a life saving raise and putting so much of it away bc im paranoid #a lot quicker than i thought #which is great and im v thankful #but now i also feel bad about not being able to get the time to follow through on offering illus comms lmao #which i know is something i shouldnt feel bad about but i do and yes i need to go to therapy about that and a lot of other things #mmhhh #man almost losing your housing after years of living on the edge of losing a lot can really fuck you up cant it LOL #but anyways #life update #i guess #im also not expecting to be making a lot from the shop at all either #but its very cool #but the gallery DOES have an online shop #and they do have a shipping option #ill yell about it at some point lol #man if i wasnt in a tiny apartment and had room for a wheel #id have some of my logistics solved #one day lol

[hxhhasmysoul]

wouldn't it be nice if the author of the fics finished them. the author is me.

#vent #for the last 4 months my life has been in stupid crisis mode #like constantly #from major ones where i had to move out for a while because it was impossible to stay where i lived #to not being able to use my kitchen for over a week #and like other more or less minor house related stuff that made it impossible for me to use something normally #not a single week without something like that or shit at work which is constantly being so fucking chaotic #and now someone died in my family #not someone very close but i liked them #and of course like feeling sad that they are gone can't be the only thing #because it has to come with the headache of i need to travel for their funeral and it's just before easter #so there's no one in this city to leave my dog with #because most of my friends either live abroad or have cats or are busy before easter.. #i'd just want a week where nothing happens #and like the writing is weighing heavy on me #because i miss it #also i wish i could finish something #i wish something good would happen that i could feel proud off #also because i'm mentally ill and fucking stupid when i was going crazy with my kitchen not working and work shit #i bought new furniture #because after 15 years i've finally had enough money to buy some that aren't fucking black and inconvenient and ugly #which is like a huge project and a crisis i brought onto myself #just because i was too burnt out to write #and i wanted something nice to happen to me #like a nice living space that doesn't make feel like i have no ownership over it because everything in it was some else's choice #and that old furniture was bought by my mother and my brother ages ago and it's handmedowns #and my fucking horrible mother feels personally slighted that i want to get rid of a bed that is broken #because my brother's kids jumped on it regularly when they used to visit pre covid #yeah it's been broken that long because i lost all my savings during covid and had to change careers to a souless pointless corpo job #long pathetic whine and overshare over