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littlebigafterdark · 3 years

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I wasn't sure if this was too heavy for the other blog so I thought I I'd ask it here. If this is becoming a human au what made Janus decide not to take legal action to get vee back from patton when she ran away as a minor?

mmuch to think abowt (⸝⸝◕⸝⸝⸝◕⸝⸝)

okay okai herr is a BIG explanation of some family history this isnt finalised i was just brainstorming it all with liv last nite but her we go

((btw the au is set in britain now aaaa))

i think the thing is - janus had vee at 18, vees mother i THINK abandoned them both very soon after vee was born , janus and her werent in a romantic relationship

janus struggled to take care of vee alone because he had no family he was in contact with (he himself ran away from home a couple years previously)

after a while of struggling to take care of vee - and a very stressful time with social services wher janus thought they would take vee from him , janus realised he had to find help

he tracked down vee's mother's father - who was american but living in britain, married to another woman, and had two other children , a woman and a teenage boy (logan)

logans older sister and her husband passed away a year after their twins (roman and remus) were born - the twins were put in the care of their grandparents (logans parents) UNTIL the grandfather (also the father of vee's mother) got dementia and his wife had to care for him fulltime

these parents werent the most compassionate - and so they put the care of the twins into their teenage son's care as soon as he turned 18. logan didnt know how to cope with both his sisters death, his dad's mental decline, plus his parents not being very supportive, and having to care for two children, so his best friend patton moved in with him to help him care for the twins

janus learned of al of this when researching the father of vee's mother (who therefore is logans half-sister) and on a panicked and desperate whim he tracked down patton and logan and basically begged them for help ,,

they became close over the few years , vee actually did grow up around the twins and patton and logan , but at some point remus decided he preferred janus to the caregivers he had (pat and lo) and they were all so close by that point they didnt see an issue with him moving into janus' place since they all were around each other so much anyway - patton a ctively encouraged remus to leave even though he was a minor becaus him and roman didnt get aong and also patton was worried about how stressful remus was for logan ... who he recently learned was struggling with an eating disorder

and by the point remus settled into janus' home, the adults started getting more distant as patton started helping logan with his ED and kept it a secret, janus became paranoid that they were going to basically abandon him and vee (and now remus) bc they were distant (his fear of abandoment comes from family history and from vees mother leaving them - and n the future from vee running away too)

so in retaliation janus pulled away too

but then a few years later when vee ran away and janus followed her to check she was safe - he saw her go to their house and saw patton bring her in , and he knew she was safe

so theres a lot of history that meant janus knew vee was safe to live with them - and technically he had remus in his care from when remus was a minor too so it wouldve been hypocritical if he had taken issue

but mainly he wanted what was best for vee even if it hurt him a lot

#let me know if anything needs to be tagged!#little big after dark concepts #little big family history #little big eating disorder #death tw #asks #tumblebee the smol bean #mama logan #papa patton #nana janus #baby vee #little big roman #chaotic cousin remus

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littlebigafterdark · 3 years

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... vee is underweight?

corect

#weight mention #baby vee #asks

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littlebigafterdark · 3 years

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👀👀 the newest fic took place the morning after after the littles (unknowingly!!) caused logan to relapse, right? -🌙

i hoped someone would get it !! yep pink crayons and pinky promises takes place the morning after roman and vee accidentaly trigger logans eating disorder

thats why roman misses his mommy so much, he doesnt actually understand why mommy wasnt feeling good last night and hes worried about him

#little big eating disorder #mama logan #asks #🌙 anon

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littlebigafterdark · 3 years

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emobabyvirge -> littlebigafterdark

#url change #do not reblog

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littlebigafterdark · 3 years

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Hello 🌱 anon here I was wondering does Logan has difficulty cooking and stuff due to his eating disorder?

-🌱

logan actually found it quite fun to learn to cook during his recivery as it gave him control it was a big challenge for him but patton helped him through it

the only thing is logan genuinely has really uhhh unconventional taste preferences - not bc of his ed just b he likes weird flavours - so even though he CAN cook and doesnt find any emotional trouble with it, generally he doesn't because no one likes his cooking hhh

he just likes weird combinations of flavours and thats great for him but not so much for the others.. but he prefers patton and romans cooking to his own so he doesnt really mind

when logan DOES cook then patton makes an effort to eat at least some of it even if its not the best, because hes so proud of logan for being at the point where he can confidently make food, he really wants to show his support by eating it (but he does use the old 'push the food around the plate' trick to make it look like he could eat more of it shhshs)

#little big eating disorder #mama logan #🌱 anon #asks #little big after dark concepts

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littlebigafterdark · 3 years

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although logan's ed is for the most part recovered and under control, he has a single compulsion he has that he rlly feels he needs to be in control of this

so he can NEVER finish a plate of food completely. if he has pasta he HAS to leave at least two pieces on the plate. if he has a bunch of grapes he HAS to leave at least two grapes on the bunch. if he has a sandwich he HAS to leave some crusts.

no because he couldnt eat them but he cant stand the thought of finishing a whole meal or snack, even by one bite. its not a dangerous habit because its so mild, and patton knows to just add an extra spoonful of pasta so that logan still gets the full amount.

but its aways there

#little big eating disorder #mama logan #little big after dark concepts

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littlebigafterdark · 3 years

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how did lo tell pat about his ed? did pat catch him purging or something? or did he voluntarily open up? -🌙

no patton didnt catch him i think that would be too devastating. it was logans choice but it was a very snap decision

logan had only been purging for a couple weeks and he suddenly realised after throwing up one day that this was completely out of his control

it just hit him REALLY hard all at once that this was an eating disorder, he was in major denial for years and at this point he just flushed the toilet and saw himself in the mirror and he just couldnt breathe out of nowhere

not because he was rlly thin or anything (he was a bit slim but not underweight at all) but idk he just saw himself and realised that he was DOING this to himself and that what he was doing was very serious

and as soon as that hit him and he realised that he had hadnt had a full meal in the past two weeks, he panicked and got shaky and breathless and it made him nausous... and he found himself leaninf over the toilet again ready to purge again on instinct

and he pulled himself away from that and had to make a snap decision - who do i trust to stop me from hurting myself anymore tonight?

and the answer was patton, so logan instantly made a beeline straight from the bathroom to pattons room and knocked on his door and as soon as patton called him in logan burst in and pstton could tell something was rlly RLLY wrong

logan instantly started stammering iver an explanantion but it made no sense, he couldnt find any words at all, so patton guided him by the hands to sit on his bed together and could feel how logans fingers trembled

and patton asked v gently what logan needed

and logan said he needed help

and that was quite worrying of course and logan saw that on pattons face, so he clarified: he needed to not be alone

so patton insisted logan could stay as long as he needed he could stay the night in pats room if he wants to, logan would never like to impose but on this night he instantly agreed because he knew he had to be supervised

and while patton was making them tea (which logan followed him downstairs for so he wouldnt be alone) logan stayed silent and summoned the courage and the strength to tell pstton why he needed company

so once they were back in pattons room sipping tea logan very gradually admitted that he has had trouble eating recently. then as the hours went by he admitted that "recently" was six years. then later he admitted that "trouble with eating" meant not letting himself eat more than a handful of food in one sitting. then he admitted that that handful often ended up in the toilet bowl ten minutes after eating it. the admissions just kept coming slowly throughout the night

patton was calm on the outside - though there were a few cracks here and there, a small gasp, a tear or two, a shaking hand - but inside he was completely horrified and terrified that he hadnt noticed anything for literal years

patton phoned an emergency healthline as soon as logan said he had been restricting his eating and booked an appointment with a doctor for the following morning and since then he went to every single appointment with logan unless logan specifically requested to go alone

patton was logans rock during that part of his life and it is just a massive part of their relationship. they dont like thinking about such an awful time of course but the fact that they went through this together is how they became so close.

patton was glad that logan told him and especially that out of anyone logan trusted patton with this, he didnt even phone a doctor he went straight to patton. and this IS amazing - but patton really should have had professional support during this time because that was a lot of responsibility for him to take on. logan wasnt at fault for it at all, but this time was kind of traumatic for patton too

#i feel like this answer was messy sorry hhhh #little big eating disorder #mama logan #papa patton #asks #🌙 anon #little big after dark concepts

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littlebigafterdark · 3 years

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so I was thinking about Logan's ED & how you've mentioned it was dangerous for him & would be dangerous for Vee ((or at least I think I remember this?)), & I was wondering if he could've actually died, despite being a side? Or like in general can the sides die via conventional means?

short answer: i dont really like to think abt it

long answer: i want the au to be essentially a human au, i dont rlly like thinking about them being thomas' sides but im too late in the timeline and too deep into the worldbuilding now to change that with the mindscape and how the sides are related etc

if i could do it without disturbing too much of the pre established dynamics of this universe i would make it a human au, but i think theres just too many technical difficulties with that

HOWEVER the characters treat it as real life and i kind of do too so the threat of "life threatening illness" carries the same heaviness in this au as it would irl, whatever that would mean for them

at that point is where i dont want to think abt it, i dont want to think abt the technical "what if..." scenarios bc i dont like that ive not made it a human au basically

but yeah, the characters treat it as if its a real threat so u can assume theres truth to how seriously they would all take it. there must be a fate on the same level of death that would come from them "dying" in the mindscape

but thats where i stop thinking abt it

#asks #a ghostlight for roman #death tw #little big eating disorder #little big after dark concepts

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littlebigafterdark · 3 years

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vee’s perspective on the asthma attack weekend

liv and i were talking more abt the concept i just posted here so i wanted to include some of our convo here:

(normal text is liv, bold text is me)

god it just hits so hard that VEE was the one to FIND PATTON IN HIS ATTACK like for his baby to see him so weak and struggling and in DANGER like that must have been awful for vee and genuinely horrible for patton!!!

:(( i had to do it bc i wanted her to say 'dadys having a panic attack' bc baby :(( it is asthma not panic but vee saw that and her hyperempathy she knows how it feels to suddenly not be able to brethe :(

and for vee she had to have patton carry her upstairs bc she was too small BUT THEN she HAD TO go downstairs alone and her brain like flung her out of regression so she could do that bc her brain said DANGER and sh ewent on adrenaline - thats why she burst into tears as soon as she had alerted the others to the danger - her brain realised she had done all she could do and now was time to regress

it slike in chapter 2 when vee thought patton was hurt bc he wasnt answering his bedrom door, she was instantly flung out of regression bc she thought he was in danger

RIGHT LITERALLY and for this to happen and the next day for her parents to fight her emotions for that week (at least the next fw days) are all over the place and she very much needs comfort in and out of her regression and that's actually a little bit of a good thing bc she very much needs patton and patton can feel better bc his baby needs him (and yes this is not very healthy in the longterm but it makes him feel better in the immediate aftermath of this)

yes yes exactly exactly but ALSO remember firday night she hears her bio father wants to be a parental figure to her again, saturday her daddy has an asthma attack and she has to run for help, sunday her mummy and daddy are yelling and roman is trying to distract vee because vee hates yelling, and monday mummy and daddy are away for the whole day ....... this is,,,,, a weekend for her

this is why its good that roman was already planning to spend a bunch of time with vee this weekend, i think her separation anxiety is gonna transfer onto roman this week

#baby vee #asthma attack tw #little big after dark concepts

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littlebigafterdark · 3 years

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3 (last one i swear hsdvhs) what does therapy do for patton? does it change how he uses his cg headspace? like does he end up having to act as a cg less frequently, or does he just learn other coping strategies along with it? does logan’s role change as a result of this? -🌙

this one is a bit trickier i think , it i think might depend how i build this as it becomes part of the timeline - i naturally start to think of concepts and ideas as they happen in real time in the au, eg. i only thought of this asthma attack concept last night, a day before it happens in the ic blog timeline. but i have this so far:

how therapy helps patton

therapy helps patton to live for himself. thats the headline for it - patton learns it is not selfish to do things for himself, to live for himself

theres a lot of small ways that dr picani helps him learn this, theres a lot of small affirmations, a lot of exercises such as patton is instructed to take fifteen minutes on his own in the middle of the day to just drink tea and sit in the garden and meditate by himself

there is also pattons self-care week which i just love in general - ive mentioned it briefly on the babyvirge blog and will eventually make it into a bigger concept or even a fic, but essentially it is a week wher patton has to do something new for himself everyday, and it has to be something he has alwasy wanted to do

so he does smal things at first like walk a different route because it goes past a nice tree even if it takes longer to walk there, and he plants a certain vegetable that only he likes to eat, but it builds up to him driving to a nature reserve and spending a day on his own in nature, and also leads to him growing his beard regardless of how he is worried everyone might react

in terms of his caregiving:

it doesnt really change his way of caregiving, it doesnt change how often he IS a caregiver (because as previously established, patton is actually legally vee’s carer due to her disability, and he was caring for her in a similar way before the regression was ever revealed) - but what it does do is ensure patton isn’t using the headspace as a way of dissociating

it was described in labd in the last chapter how when patton was crying in the hallway but was interuupted by hearing roman call him in to look after vee - as soon as pat started taking care of vee his emotions became blurry and he felt almost dizzy. that was him dissociating from his emotions and using his cg space as an escape from reality

i honestly dont know how dr picani treats pattons dissociation, but once they have addressed it and patton learns grounding techniques and stuff, i think his cgspace will become even more healthy!

and also: he tends to miss things atm. like accidentally calling roman baby and not registering romans discomfort, and not knowing what is making vee upset because he is so busy cooing at her. and that i think is because patton is sometimes a little out of it, dissociated, and not able to notice his environment very well iin his cg space. this will change when he becomes more grounded - and honestly, it might even make him a better papa because of this

#going to reblog this to babyvirge too!#papa patton #🌙anon #asks

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littlebigafterdark · 3 years

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2) did patton know how unhealthy he got?? was he hiding that from everyone else or did he genuinely not realize how drastic the situation is? -🌙

its kind of a mix of both ! because patton is jsut so used to brushing off any negative feelings, including sadness and anger and also physical stuff like being exhausted or ill

he’s so accustomed to pushig that all down and battling through that even though he did acknowledge ‘oh, if i’m breathless and coughing that could be my asthma’ it was subconsciously immediately pushed away - like he BARELY got a chance to register it in his mind before it was just pushed out of his mind.

it’s gotten to the point he doesnt consciously have to push down this stuff anymore, he’s accidentally trained his mind to immediately ignore those concerns, so patton didnt purposefully ignore his ashtma, he subconsciously did

#papa patton #🌙 anon #asks

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littlebigafterdark · 3 years

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okok so 1) has patton in general not been taking care of himself? like since he became a cg, did he just push himself further & further for his family until his asthma started acting up and he didnt talk about it and then it all fell down? & does this go for mental as well as physical health? -🌙

he HAS been pushing himself continuously in many ways - yes including physical and mental health. i think it was a month ago that patton caught a cold and only stopped his housework and caregiving because logan basically forced him to lie down because he was literally swaying on his feet with a temperature and trying to cook dinner

so patton in general does stretch himself too far for everyone - its been true for years but it has definitely heightened since being a papa/daddy because as much as he loves it, it IS a lot of work for a forty year old man with hypermobility and asthma to be carrying a 55 kg baby around all the time and cooking, cleaning, running to the store, playing tag with roman - its A LOT, he really is an overworked househusband

and yeah he has always ignored his mental health tbh, its just terminal selflessness at its finest

#papa patton #🌙 anon #asks

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littlebigafterdark · 3 years

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hajdjdbhsd HI. okokokok that CONCEPT i cant i cant /pos!! like. i cant put it into words but it was really touching and you?? have a really good ability to make things very emotional / angst-ish, yet also so realistic that i’m amazed. i really really liked that concept hshshhhdhd -🌙 (alsoalso can i send a couple more asks w questions ab this event??)

WAAAHH oh my gosh thank u so much ,??? ahh thats so luvly thank u moon wow - i rlly kinda thrive with this hurt comfort emotional drama stuff tbh i just cant help myself from makin this stuff for the au shhshshsj im so glad i made this blog ! im kinda proud of how realistic i make stuf so thank u !

and YES pls send asks !! *+:｡.o(≧ᴗ≦˶)o.｡:+*

#nice comments #asks #🌙 anon

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littlebigafterdark · 3 years

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patton's asthma attack and finally agreeing to try therapy

content warnings: hurt/comfort, detailed description of asthma attack, very brief mention of past eating disorder, crying (i always hav that tho)

i copy pasted this from mine and livs discord convo so thats why it might be formatted weird and i swear a lot also if you see "hhh yeah" then thats liv commenting hshshsh

patton has had a cough the past few days because BASICALY since priscilla (remys cat) visited hes been more breathless with his asthma but he didnt tell anyone bc he doesnt want to worry them or make it so vee never get to see priscilla again if she cant visit anymore

so his asthma is acting up but he ignores it - and hes had asthma cough for a couple days (which is a sign of an incoming asthma attack) but again hes ignoring it, hes so used to brushing off symptoms he doesnt click what it means and he diesn ttake his inhaler when he needs it

WAAAHH oh fuck oh my god oh god wait fuck i just realised

the moment patton gets his asthma attack its saturday afternoon, roman is little and playing with logan and vee isnt quite little yet but fae's on faer way there, fae is very giggly and playful and patton says "okay babygirl, lets go get you changed!"

and when he gets up from the couch he takes a moment to cough and just stand still a sec bc he got suddenly dizzy but he pushed through it to not worry vee, and he actually usually lifts her onto his hip straight away, but this time he very subtly is like "okay hold daddys hand while we walk to the stairs"

so they get to the stairs and patton of course lifts vee up, and theyre only a few steps up when pattons breathing gets really heavy. it makes vee frown and look at him and say "daddy am i heavy?"

and patton smiles and shakes his head, because hes too breathless to speak. but he pushes through and hurries up as fast as possible

once theyre at the top of the stairs, patton is wheezing. his chest is rattling and whistling and he suddenly loses his smile and quickly hurries away from the stairs to place vee gently on the hallway floor, and as soon as vee is safe patton wobbily sinks to his knees and leans his head against the wall. his eyes shut tight trying so so hard to breath but its realy whistly now

and vee of course panics. "dady? papa are you okay??" and whimpers when patton doesnt react and clutches at his chest

and it throws her out of her semi regression. she jumps up and hurries downstairs, a little wobbily but ultimately fine. and she speints to where logan and riman are and yells "daddys h havin a panic attack!" and instantly starts crying

logan and roman were in the middle of a game and smiling and laughing but as SOON as they hear that they jump into action. logan runs out of the room to go to patton and roman grows up and runs to vee and lifts her up to shush her cries and calm her down - they dont even share a single look before they do this, they both just instinctively know what to do

and logan of course finds patton and realises its an asthma attack not a panic attack - he goes into his emergency like emotionless mode where he just gets the job done. he asks clearly where patton keeps his inhaler and patton just shakes his head. so logan alarmed asks "you dont have a reliever inhaler??" and patton winces and shakes his head again.

logan sprints to his room into his bedside drawer to find tthe inhaler he keeps for emergencies double checking it hasnt expired

he sits with his legs around patton, patton leaned back agains his torso, and puffs pattons inhaler for him and times the attack and the puffs (knowing that if it isnt better after ten puffs and fifteen minutes they have to call an ambulance) and using his own deep breaths against pats back to help him recalibrate his breathing

luckily it only lasts 8 and a half minutes and 8 puffs - but logan is so so shaken about the fact that that was very close to requiring medical assistance, he had his ohone out ready to dial 911

once pattons attack is over he's finally breathing, short and deep at first gasping in the oxygen, but within a few more minutes of sitting against logan it slows down and is much calmer. hes very shaky because the reliever inhaler does that to you, and weak from the tax on his body, so logan helps him up into their nearest bedroom (pattons)

at first he calls roman to swap places with him and watch over patton hust so logan can change vee into a diaper since she regressed from fear as soon as roman picked her up and obv he cant change her diaper

so roman sits with patton while logan does that and roman is actually really quiet and awkward and nervous, just looking wide eyed at patton and hugging himself.

and patton feels bad abt that and whispers "its okay little prince, daddys not hurt. im sorry for scaring you, honey" and roman just chews his lip and nods and looks down and they dont talk again until logan is back and roman goes out to take care of vee and logan comes in to lie with patton and rub his chest soothingly

logan is distressed and frustrated and shaken at that point but he knows not to have their conversation until the next day bc patton will be emotionally and physically exhausted

but the next day they have a serious talk - logans pretty ANGRY that patton was so ignorant of his wellbeing that he didnt refill his inhaler, patton brushes it off but logan says its a good thing he secretly kept one for patton (bc he almost suspected this might happen)

it rly hits patton when logan tells him if he had needed anymore puffs than he took they wouldve had to phone an ambulance - like patton not wanting to worry his family by admitting his asthma was acting up backfired way more and has made them worry even more because he had a full attack that could have gone so much worse

the whole conversation is VERY stern and serious even at the start when patton smiles and chuckles and jokes and brushes it off logan just gets frustrated and upset. logan is SO angry literally he is glaring at patton when patton brushes it off and makes jokes abt it and he snaps.

logan actually very seriously tells patton this is self harm and patton goes WHAT nonono no its not i dont know why youre getting so worked up

and logan fucking SNAPS like "Youre not giving your body what it needs to survive because you dont think your worth that!! you're neglecting your basic needs to the point of needing urgent medical care, doesnt that sound familiar??? doesnt that sound like something we've both been through before???" clearly referencing his eating disorder

and pattons eyes go wide and he profusely apologises hes like im so sorry oh my gosh logan honey im sorry did i trigger you im sorry and logans just like STOP APOLOGISING this isnt about me its about you!

and he sso angry bc he thought they trusted each other but the fact that patton didnt tell him when he literally couldnt breathe is so scary to logan

but that is basically an argument bc logan was so fucking worried and devastated that patton has ignored his health to such an extent and vee gets nervous bc both her and roman can hear them yelling and she thinks the cgs will breakup bc they "had a fight"

but once theyre finished talking and vee shakily asks if theyre not gonna be a family anymore they'll of course comfort faer and talk abt it, its not a fight its a disagreement and mummys and daddys have those sometimes. theyre still a family and they still love each other very very much. they all soend their family day together as usual, though patton isnt as able to get up and play with roman understandably

also the fact this all comes around the same week patton and logan tell vee that janus wants to babysit, thats why patton has been absent from the blog recently i guess bc hes been keeping busy trying to work through his feelings of janus wanting to come in

hhh yeah... the way it lines up to patton's other insecurities abt janus coming into the family and it all just piles on too much all at once

so on monday morning logan goes with patton to get more inhalers and they actually stay out for while like they go to a forest or smth just to be alone and help patton recenter a little - he's always loved being in nature, it really brings him a lot of peace, being in nature is really the best way to keep patton grounded from his dissociation, thats why hes always gardening

and logan doesnt want to be angry at him and he knows patton needs support and comfort atm even is patton doesnt think he does so they have a calm day just being together and logan trying to remind patton that hes there for him

HHH stop bc they YEAH bc they kinda had a fight even though it did get 'resolved' but they needed to take time to reconnect their energies and like show each other (and specifically logan show patton) that their love is still secure and their friendship is still strong - just the quiet care of logan taking patton somewhere they can just be alone without responsibilities

secretly patton was rlly upset that logan got angry with him but he didnt show it but logan KNOWS him and he knows he needs to fix it with queality time (pats love lang) because pattons been alone a lot recently, its just been that he keeps busy and accidentaly distanced himself bc the others would all be busy and hanging out in some way and he fet a bit abandoned but yeah logan is dedicating the whole day to him

and patton does end up talking abt his inner turmoil a little but not until theyre like in the middle of the forest and hes a lot calmer and theres no one around, he just feels so much calmer and safer in nature to open up like that.

and this is when patton tells logan about his worries about janus becoming closer to vee, and how its lovely for them but what if it hurts vee, what if they dont get along, what if they DO get along and vee wants to move back with janus. Logan doesnt say anything to the worries, he knows patton just needs to blurt them out while he can, while it mixes with the sounds of nature.

then patton mentions quietly that dr picani phoned him a couple weeks ago and told him that he would like to offer patton a trial session of therapy - not with vee, just patton. logan very calmly asks if that sounds like sometnging that might be helpful for patton and patton just giggles nervously "um i dont know. Vee has therapy"

logan frowns. "yes she does. but that doesnt mean you cant have it too, if you would like it"

patton goes quiet and looks anxious, scratching at the moss on the log theyve sat down on. so logan takes his hand and looks very earnestly at him and says gently "i would like you to at least accept the trial session. It is your decision but... i think it might be worth a try"

patton nods a little, just looking at their intertwined fingers. and after a long silence where they can just hear the birds tweeting and the wind rustling the leaves and small animals scurrying along the grass, patton finally looks up at logan and breathes "i'll go to therapy"

and when patton says that out loud suddenly his eyes well up and he sees logan smile at him - a little sad and a lot proud - and feels his hand squeeze and the tears just dont stop coming and he hides his eyes but laughs nervously like haha dont know why im crying this is so silly! but logan doesnt say anything to it, he just pulls patton into his side and rests his head on pattons head...

and patton keeps trying to laugh and joke but its so choked and sad and nervous and wet and logan wraps his other arm around patton too and just grntly whispers "pumpkin, its okay if youre not happy right now."

and patton just starts sobbing into logans shoulder and logan holds him so tight as they sit on the log

patton cant cope with silence when its about him yknow, he couldnt handle logan not laughing or tutting at his jokes so he just kept joking until logan insisted its ok to be sad

so once they get home logan sits with pstton while he phones dr picani and books his first solo therapy session for friday morning

#papa patton #asthma attack tw #do not reblog #little big after dark concepts

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