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bratzforchris · 8 months

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Flare Ups

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Summary: Role reversal of my fic "Sick Days"

Pairing: Luke x feminine reader

Warnings: Minor depression over chronic illness

Word Count: 1661

A/N: This was requested by the beautiful @blinkinglightsandmusic <3. Thank you for the idea, angel! Also, if you'd like to learn more about PFAPA (the chronic illness described in this fic), my previous post linked above has a link to learn more :)

❃

You woke up and immediately groaned, cuddling closer into Luke’s side while trying to fight tears. Your throat was sore, your joints were aching, and you could tell that you were running a pretty high fever based on how cold you were. Chronic illness was probably the worst thing in your life. It zapped so much of your energy, basically binding you to your bed or the couch for days.

Luke rolled over, feeling the way you were shaking against him. He blinked the sleep out of his blue eyes and looked at you. “Baby? You okay, my love?”

He knew you probably weren’t, but it was a good way for him to understand where your mind was at. Having been with you for nearly four years, Luke was pretty well-versed in taking care of you during your flare ups. They were just regular enough that he could track them and know when one was coming.

“Flare up.” You sniffled, pulling your snuggly blanket up to your chin.

“Oh, princess,” he cooed softly, laying his cheek against your forehead to check your fever. “You’re burning up, darlin’. Let’s check your temperature.”

Luke moved to pull the thermometer out of your nightstand while you watched him with teary eyes. If you didn’t feel so awful, you’d probably find him acting all nurselike while shirtless hot, but you just felt so miserable. Luke ran his hand across your cheek as he stuck the metal device under your tongue, which made you whine from the cold. His touch was gentle as he lovingly

gave you a small massage while waiting to check your temperature.

“103.2,” the blond said softly when the device beeped. “That’s high, honey.”

“It hurts.” You said, a tear sneaking down your cheek.

“Do ya wanna take some Tylenol?” he asked you, yawning. “Know it usually doesn’t work, but it’s worth a try.” Luke pulled you into him, sleepily snuggling into you.

Your fevers always made you emotional, and seeing how tired Luke still was made you sob. “I’m sorry.” You cried.

“Lovely,” the blond pouted sadly, rubbing your tummy as he spooned you. “What are you sorry for, princess?”

“You’re still tired and you’re having to take care of me!” You wailed.

“Sweetheart,” Luke said gently. “I’m not having to take care of you. I want to because I love you.”

You rolled over, sobbing into Luke’s chest. Your boyfriend just gently rubbed your back, knowing that you were sick and emotional, instead of actually sad. He carded his fingers through your hair, whispering comforting little words to you. You sobbed until you gagged and Luke slowly sat you up, rubbing your back.

“Sweet girl, I need you to take some deep breaths, pumpkin. Don’t want you to make yourself sick, honey.” he said firmly, but not unkindly.

You gulped in a few breaths of air, still crying, but they had slowly turned to hiccups instead of sobs. Luke continued to rub your back, pulling a hair band off his wrist to tie your hair up into a messy, low bun.

“Good girl,” he smiled, knowing praise always helped you feel better. “Is that better?” he asked, rubbing your knees softly.

Luke knew how much your fevers made your joints ache, but especially your knees, and he would do absolutely anything to make you feel better. You nodded a thank you, wrapping your arms around his neck shakily.

“‘M cold.” You whimpered, desperately pulling yourself ever closer to him for a bit of warmth.

“Want a hoodie, lovely?” Your boyfriend asked you. “I don’t want you to get too overheated, darling.”

You nodded into Luke’s chest and he carefully slid from under your grip, tucking you in and kissing your forehead with a little “be right back”. The blond wandered downstairs, throwing one of his clean hoodies into the dryer for a little extra warmth before going into the kitchen to feed Petunia and find you something to eat. Luke stood in the middle of the room with his hands on his hips, thinking. You needed something to take medicine with, but he wasn’t the greatest cook and there wasn’t much you’d want to eat with your sore throat.

He eventually decided on a can of chicken noodle soup that you kept in the cupboard for your flare ups and began to heat it up over the stove. While the soup simmered, Luke made you a hot cup of green tea with honey and lemon to ease the spots in your throat and began to prepare your medicines. There weren’t many, but he made sure to put both your pain reliever and your mental health medicines in a small dish so they were easily accessible for you. Anything that would help take some of the pressure off your shoulders during your flare ups, he would do.

Luke carefully ladled the now-warm soup into a little, pink, glass bowl for you and placed it on a tray, along with your tea, your medicines, some toast and coffee for himself, and a small fake flower in hopes of making you smile. Quite happy with his little spread, Luke picked up the tray and grabbed his hoodie from the dryer, starting to make the trek upstairs with Petunia nipping at his heels.

“I’m back, lovely.” he cooed, opening the bedroom door to look at you.

You had propped yourself up with pillows and had made a blanket nest while he was gone, selecting a comedy to watch on Netflix. The bedroom was still dark where the curtains were still drawn, but in his mind, you looked absolutely beautiful. It never mattered to Luke how sick you were or how much the flare ups took out of you. He still thought you were the prettiest thing he had ever laid eyes on.

Luke placed the tray at the foot of the bed, bowing goofily. “Bon appetit, madam.”

You tried to giggle, but winced when it hurt your throat. “Thank you.” You croaked out.

“Shhh, don’t talk, babe.” he said softly, climbing into bed beside you.

You pouted, but grabbed the bowl of soup and began to drink the broth, savoring the way the warm liquid soothed your throat. You definitely weren’t feeling much better physically, but Luke made everything better emotionally. Just his presence was comforting. He was a beyond great nurse.

“Don’t forget to take your meds too, sweetheart.” he smiled, patting your knee.

You did as told, swallowing them down with a sip of tea. Once you had finished the soup, you placed the bowl back on the tray and cuddled up into Luke’s side, slightly more content now that your tummy was full. You grabbed your phone off the charger and began to type, before turning the screen and showing it to Luke.

i love you<3 You had typed.

Luke smiled, his dimple on full display. “I love you too, babe. I just want you to focus on getting better, sweet girl.”

A blush crept onto your cheeks and you snuggled into his side, giggling lowly. you’re the best :) You typed again.

Your boyfriend cooed, kissing your cheek. “Remember me when they nominate the best nurse award.” he chuckled.

You nodded eagerly, typing one more quick thing to him.

can you look in my throat?

Luke did as you asked, of course, taking your phone from you and shining the flashlight in your throat. “You have the spots again and it’s red, baby. Definitely a flare up.” he said sadly.

You didn’t want to cry again, but tears welled in your eyes. “I hate being sick,” You croaked out. “Just wanna live normally.”

That sentence absolutely broke Luke’s heart. He knew how hard these flare ups were for you, especially considering there wasn’t really a cure for them. Your immune system just had some odd malfunctions, and there wasn’t much doctors could do to fix it. The best you could do was keep the worst of the side effects away with pain relievers and care.

“Would a cool bath help, my love? You might feel better if we bring your fever down one or two degrees.” he suggested.

Even though you had been living with PFAPA your whole life, Luke was able to think much clearer when you had flare ups, mostly because he wasn’t in a fever haze like you were. To his surprise, you nodded, which told him you must’ve been feeling terrible. You normally fought cool baths with a passion.

Luke helped you up and to the bathroom, sitting you on the toilet seat while he started the shower. He slowly helped you undress and step into the shower, holding your hand the whole time.

“All set, baby?” he asked you.

“Don’t go.” You whimpered, looking at him with bloodshot eyes and clinging to his hand despite the cold shower water pounding against your back.

Luke had expected you to say that, so he just gently smiled and began to undress, stepping into the shower with you. You leaned your head back against his broad shoulder, whining softly.

“I know, honey, I know.” the blond said sadly, massaging your shoulders, back, and tummy.

“It’s cold. I wanna get out. I don’t feel good.” You cried.

“A few more minutes and then I promise you can get out, sweetheart.” Luke said gently, bending down to rub your knees.

The shower was small and Luke was a big boy, but he still crouched down on the balls of his feet and began to rub your knees, doing everything in his power to make you feel better. You were his girl and he’d do anything for you.

It was right then that you knew Luke truly loved you. It wasn’t the fancy gifts or the passionate sex. It was intimate moments like these where you weren’t “Y/N, Luke’s girlfriend” and “Luke Hemmings from 5SOS”. You were just Luke and Y/N and that was what you loved most.

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doctorgerth · 1 year

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a/n: Ngl, this piece had me kicking my feet ahhh I’m down so bad for Smoker 🥰 He’s such a grumpy gus when he’s in love <3 Not sure if I really captured Smoker/Tashigi’s relationship well here, my apologies! Read to find out if Smoker gets a lil lip action or not! 😉💕

pairing: Smoker x GN!Reader

word count: 1.6k

candy heart prompt: Miss You — Missing the Other

SMOKER + MISS YOU

You’d been away on your mission for a few days now and Smoker wasn’t handling it well.

The Marines were uneasy, sensing their Commander’s own unease taking over the entirety of the base like a thick fog. Most avoided his presence unless directly commanded by him as they noticed he was grumpier than usual, enforcing mundane tasks out of frustration and rebuking his subordinates for even the tiniest of mistakes. One person was able to place Smoker’s discontent, and she only gently teased him about it.

“It seems a little gloomy without (Y/N) around. Don’t you agree, sir?” Tashigi spoke up in the quiet office as she organized a drawer in one of the filing cabinets.

He only grunted, not even bothering to look up as he continued scanning documents, scribbling notes, and signing his name. Tashigi spent a lot of time organizing papers that could keep her superior distracted enough to lessen his fussing at Marines undeserving. He preferred seclusion anyhow, that much she understood. What she failed to understand was that she was encroaching on said seclusion. Especially as she kept pushing the subject of you. Wasn’t the point of all this to keep him from thinking of you?

“I hope (Y/N) is okay. I wonder how the mission is going. Do you think they’ve met any interesting people?”

The idea of you meeting people, both dangerous and friendly, left a bitter taste in his mouth. He was fully confident in your capabilities, he wouldn’t have signed off on your mission otherwise, but the fact that he was not there to ward off anybody with any sort of ill intentions towards you made his gut twist. Smoker didn’t even want to think about the friendly ones. Who was making you laugh, keeping you company, who you might be interested in. He’s always felt a sense of protectiveness towards his subordinates, but there was something entirely different in his sense of protectiveness towards you. He’d never felt jealous in regards to his other subordinates, to put it plainly.

Tashigi was rambling while Smoker’s thoughts were once again riddled with you. Your name curved easily along a signature line meant for him as your name slipped past his mentee’s mouth in every other sentence. He mentally cursed and balled up the paper, throwing it at Tashigi’s forehead to shut her up. She gasped as it bounced off her glasses, making them crooked in the aftermath, and landed on the floor with a soft thud.

“What exactly are you trying to do here, Tashigi?” he growled. If she said your name one more time…

She glared at him as she straightened her glasses and picked up the paper, unfurling it much to his horror but he remained stoic as her eyes lit up with pure amusement upon reading his penmanship of your name, “Just trying to get you to realize that you miss them. That’s all, sir.”

“And what good do you think that will do?” he barked out. He was painfully aware that he missed you from the moment you stepped off base. It wouldn’t bring you back any sooner, and it wouldn’t make him feel any better by coming to terms with it.

“Have you told them how you felt?” she pushed. Always pushing.

Could she see the red heat he felt creeping up his neck? “I’m not having this discussion with you. You can either leave my office or I’ll have you fired for inappropriate conversations in the workplace.”

Tashigi pursed her lips, muttering under her breath, “Well, in that case you should be fired for having inappropriate feelings in the workplace.”

“What was that?” Smoker bellowed as he stood from his chair, nearly biting his cigars in half. He felt his right eye begin to twitch and he had half a mind to throw another paper ball at her. Maybe enough paper balls from the entire stack of the piss-poor distracting paperwork.

Tashigi waved her hands in front of her in surrender, “Nothing! What I meant to tell you is that (Y/N) is…”

“Stop saying their name!”

“I’ve only been gone for five days and you two are already bickering?” Your voice echoed down the hall and he wondered if was imagining your voice again. Yet there you were, standing in his office, not a scratch on you as you sported that comforting smile on your face he’d missed so much. He felt his shoulders relax as he exhaled the breath he’d been holding since you left.

“Returning today,” Tashigi finished, turning to you with a salute, “Welcome back, Captain.”

“It’s great to be back,” you grinned, keeping your eyes trained on the tall, speechless, white-haired Marine officer standing stiff behind his desk, “I missed the G-5.”

After a quiet moment of longing stares, his body finally began working as he discarded his cigars in the ashtray and his boots echoed heavy as they approached you. Such a simple thing, but you missed the sound of them. Now that he was standing before you, towering over you, you realized you missed the smell of smoke too, along with the warmth he constantly radiated when standing so close. Your body reacted to every sense of him. You missed him dearly.

Tashigi quietly slipped out, gently closing the door behind her as she left to finally give her superior the privacy he’d wanted.

“Didn’t miss me too bad, did you, Commander?” you teased, stepping closer, an unseen force pulling you closer to him. That same force tugged consistently at your heart for the five long days you were away.

He smiled, a notion reserved only for you, as he pinched your chin between his thumb and forefinger, “Only a little, I suppose.”

There it was, that tension between the two of you that only grew stronger with each moment you were alone. It felt near suffocating after your time apart. You knew he didn’t speak to anyone else like this, didn’t stand so close to anyone else like this, didn’t look at anyone else like this. You were something else to him, and he to you. Something beyond Marine rankings and camaraderie. As shameful as it was for a Commodore to pursue his subordinate, you weren’t sure how much longer you could hold your feelings back. You’d hoped your mission would have cleared your head, but it only drew you closer to him. Made you crave his affections even more.

Intimate touches have been exchanged in secrecy between the two of you as feelings were realized, but you needed to feel his lips against yours. To know for sure that he wanted this too. You wanted so desperately to make this agonizing yet exhilarating tension tangible. The way he continued to hold your chin up, brown eyes reflecting the loving stare you offered him, forehead colliding softly with yours, it felt as if the pieces were finally falling into place.

His eyes were first to flutter close, making your heart do somersaults in your chest, and as you followed suit, you felt the ghost of a kiss along your lips before the echoing purururu of his Den Den Mushi made the two of you jump.

Smoker’s eyes opened, staring down at you as if he was seeking your approval to ignore the call. He could care less if the entire world was ending. All that he wanted was standing right in front of him. He didn’t want to lose this moment.

“You’d better answer that.” Your hand caressed his cheek, thumb grazing across his stubble as you reassured him, “I’m not going anywhere.”

He groaned loudly, like a child throwing a tantrum, and stomped over to his desk, answering the phone with distinct annoyance, “What the hell do you want?”

Silence. His furrowed brows softened, face slackened.

“Yes, sir. I understand. Thank you.”

You grew a bit worried, unable to read him as he hung up the receiver with a quick gacha. Smoker ran his fingers through his hair, making you feel overwhelmed with adoration and anxiety as you waited with bated breath.

“Is everything okay?” You were almost afraid to ask.

Another long beat of silence. You were sure you weren’t breathing at all, until he finally relayed the message with a smirk on his face.

“I got promoted to Vice Admiral.”

The happy sound you emitted was sure enough to alert the whole base as you threw your arms around his neck and squeezed him tight. Smoker squeezed back eagerly, cherishing the feeling of having you in his arms. He was unable to express it, but he hoped you knew that he was glad you were the first person he got to tell; that you were by his side when he got the news. Climbing the ranks to increase his ability to act freely has always been his goal, but the promotion felt a bit sweeter having you to celebrate with.

Tashigi returned to the room out of concern, coughing awkwardly when she caught the two of you still locked in an embrace. When Smoker shared the news, passers-by overheard and entered the office with almost hesitant congratulations. Soon enough, his entire office was full of subordinates all congratulating their new Vice Admiral. Pride swelled in your chest as he shook the hands of his subordinates and offered light smiles of thanks. So many smiles in a day — was it possible to fall even harder for him?

When everyone was preoccupied in their own conversations, Smoker bent down and whispered in your ear, “They’re hosting a banquet for all who received promotions at Headquarters. I want you to come with me.”

As if your heart couldn’t feel any fuller, you were sure to burst as you grinned from ear to ear, whispering back and squeezing his hand discreetly, “I’d be glad to.”

a/n: Soooo close! But still some happy moments here! This ending was almost entirely different (and lamer tbh) but the idea of Smoker finding out he was promoted to Vice Admiral with reader seemed like such a special moment to me and one that doesn’t *entirely* ruin the missed smooch moment. That’s another one safe until Round Two! Perhaps our next character won’t be so lucky…or will, if you consider a kiss pretty lucky. ❤️

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sir-arlieosaurus-lung-struggler · 5 months

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the holidays are always really fucking weird, i dont like many of them but specifically December is just- ew

Anyway ill just thro my mini pitty party real quick:

These song explains how I feel about christmas time *perfectly*

Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas by mother mother (christmas playlist)

From heres basically a trauma dump about being in the hospital, but i typically talk about this in a tone more like "oh yea! i nearly died lmao"

When i was like, just turning 6 I had 💫pneumonia💫 & needed to go to the 💫hospital💫. So I spent like, 12/11-31/15 in the hospital. along the way i had these treats happen (not really in order, 💜=story from family member, ❤=i actually remember this)

💜being diagnosed by my sisters 16 yo boyfriend by looking at my gums, whereas medical staff took 4 days

❤Some mcdonalds, cool auntys banana bread, jello & making popin cookin sets w/ my older sister

💜a 5 day medically induced coma

lung surgery therefor cool fuckin scars on my back (WHICH I CANT FUCKING SHOW ANYONE CAUSE I WAS CURSED W/ TITS AND 2/3 ARE UNDER MY BRA)

💜waking up from said coma periodically only to say "im scared" w/ my mom trying to comfort me but i had ear shit going on

💜Finnaly actually woke up, yelled "IM DEAD", which is reportadly the scariest shit my dad has ever heard, my mom asks if i hurt, i say yes, she like "ur not dead honey" again i was 6 & in & out of a coma 😂 (idk why but I've always found that story funny)

💜my parents being thretened w/ truancy by my dumbass school

❤Christmas, I had *2* mini christmas trees in my hospital room 💅 1 was cool but my cool uncle & aunty got me a pink 1 which I still have to this day as a lamp

💜only trusting 1 of my doctors cause he looked like my grandfather who'd been deceased for 2years at that point

❤💜going on walks around the kids floor in a wheelchair & stealing a little gingerbread beanie baby ornament but they didnt care so they just let me keep it & i still have it somehwere.

💜my mom met a lady who had a son who was a few months old & they didnt expect to live past a couple weeks but he *did* (more on that later)

💜had food in the cafeteria and i proceeded to rub the pizza i got *into my hair*. My response? "Its just cheese" my family and I quote that to this day lmao.

💜being reverted to a toddler for a good minute (someone asked my age i said i was 3, i was not) & needing to relearn walking, talking, the little bit of reading i knew & getting into a shower w/out being scared of being pulled down the drain

❤said dude who asked my age worked at the hospital cafeteria & we visited him after most of my appointments. miss u uncle (that was what he went by), wish u well. Dont know where he since covid cause the part of the building cafeteria was in was torn down.

❤and after all that later and i got releaced on new years eve :>

results:

From there forward i had a 20-30minute nebulizer to do every 4 hours (which my parents had to wake up at like 2am for a half hour for), 2 twice daily inhailers, 2 nasil sprays, "the tire" (tastes like shit and makes me feel anxious) (that isnt even all of it my mom counted 8 meds at one point) and i slowly dropped them year by year till they had me down to just rescue inhailer as needed & if my lungs r really shit for a min i go on the tire. (Tire=prednisolone but what 6 year old is remembering that name lol)

specialist appointments every week, then 2 weeks, then every month, 3 months, 6 months, now im at checkup every year and check in as needed

"Look whos inside again" by bo burnham is my life in a nutshell

To this day the smell of a consentrated area of hand sanatizer just has me stop in my tracks lol.

seeing a picture of tiny me on my parents facebook feed yearly of me unconscious in a hospital bed w/ tubes in mah face

couple of close friend i met post hospital (keep in mind i was like 7) didn't believe me so i ran around the playground cursing them the fuck out (never did get in trouble for that 😂) ((I still talk to 1 of them shes cool))

Idk where to put this but about that kid I was talking about before, I found out last year around this time he had just died- of 💫pneumonia💫. yea that fucked me up for a good minute, he was around 6 too which didn't help, I never even met the kid and I still had a weird form of survivors guilt.

Anyway have a merry fucking christmas i really dont get this holiday lol, treat yourself kindly, feel free to be the grinch you are and explain in detail why u hate the holidays u arent alone lol

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cassyapper · 9 months

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Hello! It is once again I, back at it with the procrastinating Tasks (clean apartmint so I can go on a brief trip tomorrow). Music again too bad for ur sleep schedule and also mine. Time for. The Struts bc I am both generic and also have the same music taste as my middle aged father. "Oh they were the ones who did the song in the second Sing movie" I am biting ppl on tiktok with my teeth as we speak. Anyways. Part 4. To me. https://youtu.be/akS40CnnhJU Just a bop in general but also. Ough. Music. https://youtu.be/5Hb5ZCdidpY Also just a fun song I think https://youtu.be/u14TIXQ4w5U I'd say Dio coded but I cannot lie about half of The Struts is either Horny, Hubris, or Miserable On The Floor so I think. It's all Dio coded. https://youtu.be/gzRN52CpX7k

HELLO MUSIC ANON im sorry for such a late response i had to prep for my final the past couple of days and jsut didnt have much time or energy to sit down and go thro songs BUT im here now

also ur so valid. sometimes dad music just hits different. as an aside i've never heard a struts song before now or at least, never knew it was them, and bro the singer's voice is really nice i've gotta check out more of their stuff. BUT anyway

as for today's gifts:

strange days

TOTALLY PART 4 YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT FUCK. "science fictoin i believe has become reality" WHOAHOA

i see this particularly from koichi's pov and how his friends/rolemodels make him feel. luuuuv this omfg

another hit of showmanship

I LUUUUV THE SOUND OF THIS ONE IT'S SO FUN. ur absolutely right this is a bop

as for any jojo characters this fits uhm. it. honestly. my judgement is so fucking clouded but it reminds me of my part 3.5 kakyoin and his drug abuse issues

but as for like cnaon stuff, if we use the drugs as a metaphor for something else, i can see, of course, jotaro or polnareff and how they overwork themselves post part 3

but frnakly i do think this song has potential to match multple characters im just not quite on my feet so to speak rn. i recommend others to give it a listen to see <3

freak like you

like u said i think this is msotly just a fun song <3 but ohhh god it reminds me of the crusaders as well. im so ill and so biased im so sorry music anon

primadonna like me

LMFAO ABSOLUTELY DIO CODED YOURE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. i honestly think im gonna add this to my dio playlist

god this song is so fucking fun though fuck i'd get fucked up to this if it was playing at a club. sooo fun

thakn u as always <3

#cass cries #music anon

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angelasscribbles · 2 years

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Bad Romance Continues: A Collection of One Shots, Drabbles and Mini Series

Bad Romance the series is marked as complete, but the one shots and miniseries seem to be never ending. So I thought they needed their own master list. New chapters will be placed in order they occurred in the timeline, not order they were written.

To read the original series click here: Bad Romance

For all my other stuff click here: Main Master List

Before the events of Bad Romance:

Beginnings: A Max and Riley story. Beginning of the social season with a flashback to the night they met. Takes place before the events in Bad Romance. Features Liam. 🍋🍋🍋

First Impressions, Max: This is Max's POV from the same night Riley remembers in Beginnings, the night they met. Six months prior to the events of Bad Romance, in New York. 🍋🍋🍋

Concurrent with the events of Bad Romance:

Siobhan: Riley seduces the palace kitchen supervisor and uses her against Liam. Takes place at some point prior to chapter 6, "Busted".🍋🍋🍋

Solace: A Liam and Max story. Their first sexual encounter with each other without Riley present. Concurrent with Chapter 26, "An Audacious Proposal". 🍋🍋🍋

The King's Punishment: A Three Shot. Completely gratuitous sex to be honest, but there is an emotional pay off at the end. Takes place before Chapter 29, Valtoria. 🍋🍋🍋

After the end of Bad Romance:

Birthday Spanking: Riley delivers a little something extra for Max's birthday. 🍋🍋🍋

United Front: What happens when an old flame shows up claiming Drake is the father of her child? A Drabble Me This Story.

Coming to Terms: Liam and Drake work together to get Bradshaw to open the palace doors.

Progress: Takes place just after Ellie's birth.

Max's Room: Written for Maxwell Beaumont Appreciation Week 2023. Riley helps Max clean out his junk room at Ramsford.

Homerun: Roughly nine months after the events in Progress. Ellie would be around eleven months old. 🍋🍋🍋

Thro(n)es of Passion: The follow up to Homerun. Takes place later that night when Liam, Max, and Drake comply with Riley's request for a foursome. 🍋🍋🍋

Thro(n)es of Passion Part 2: Riley's request is granted.

Unlikely Alliances Part 1: Three years after the end of Bad Romance. Ellie is two and still an only child. Liam's indiscretions come to light in a contrived way. Who is out to sabotage the king? 🍋🍋🍋

Unlikely Alliances Part 2 (Closure): Drake travels to New York to uncover the saboteur.

Interview: Madeleine tries to prep Riley and Liam for an interview with the press. They keep getting side tracked.

Run Away: Riley is having a hell of a week. Rashad wants her to take a break and run away with him.

San Antonio: A Drake and Riley story. Precise placement in the timeline is ambiguous. I don't even know. 🍋🍋🍋

Disney Adventure: A six chapter miniseries. The gang gets stuck in LA and decided to take an ill advised trip to Disneyland. Nine years after the end of Bad Romance. Ellie is 8, Xander 5, Jax 2 and Riley is pregnant with Jace.

Wild Ride: Disney Adventure follow-up, so technically is before the events of Bad Romance, but I felt it belonged here since Disney Adventure spawned it. Here is the beginning of Leo's weekend with Riley. 🍋🍋🍋

Drake's Amazon Cart: A hopefully funny little drabble about what's in Drake Walker's amazon cart. Placement in timeline is ambiguous but Jax is at least old enough to fish.

Drake's Perfect Day: This takes place immediately after Drake's Amazon Cart, grounding them both in the timeline when Jace is nine months old. Just days or weeks before the beginning of Bad Parenting.

Dads on the Edge: Riley is down with the flu and the guys have to step up and wrangle the kids without her at a very public event. This was written for @txemrn Father's Day fic idea 2022. Ellie is 12, Xander 9, Jax 6, Jace 4 and Charlotte 2. Leo's son Hudson is 16.

Whose Your Daddy: The answer to Charlottes paternity. Takes places within a few months of Dad's on the Edge.

Thankful: The first Thanksgiving after the paternity test.

Drabbles:

Blocked: A woman Drake met in a bar decides to message him.

Group Chat: Max sends a picture into the wrong chat.

Spider Drake: Riley and Max are scared of a spider.

Extras:

Baseball pants: A companion piece to Homerun. Lots of men in baseball pants. You're welcome.

Thanksgiving Ask: What the BR gang is thankful for.

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thesickpanda · 1 year

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Heaven forbid a chronically ill person have fun!

2023 has been a colossally shit year so far for me, and that is saying something as the previous several years were also really terrible (with a few positive highlights here and there).

The past 3 months have been grueling for many personal and health-related reasons I do not care to go into. Needless to say my energy levels are the worst they have ever been; I am extremely tired and have no capacity to do even half the things I did last year. (I am actually frightened at how steeply I have declined).

One of the few activities that brings me joy is nature walking. Due to a combination of trauma, illness and personal life crisis, I have not had many opportunities to do this since last year.

Anyway, my significant other was forced to sell his last car on account of a broken transmission and bought a 2nd hand 4WD utility vehicle in January. We have long wanted a car with 4WD capabilities both as a useful tool for his job, but also so we could get to more rugged national parks to explore the area’s flora (I am a major native plant nerd). So I called Nat Parks and asked about a nature reserve out west we’d been to a year ago but which had VERY rough roads (so we didn’t get in very far before blowing a tyre on our then ill-equipped vehicle). Apparently they had re-done the roads 2 months ago so they *should* be better than when we last tackled them with our now-deceased all-wheel drive. With a 4x4 we should be fine, the lady said. Feeling a bit more confident, we made a plan to go out on the weekend for a day trip so I could look at plants and SO could road test his car. I stressed to him that, as it has rained a lot recently, the roads might still be bad and we were not to take on especially scary looking routes. He was out for adventure; I wanted to forest bathe and enjoy a neglected hobby. We both DESPERATELY needed a break and some fun.

Welp…the roads were bad. Not all of them, and not all of the way, but they were definitely rough. We managed not to get bogged (though we came close) and I found some nice plants. By afternoon though, I was tiring and we decided to go home. Rather than going back the way we had come (and managed), my SO looked at the map and said we could get to the highway faster by going further along the road we were on. I was reticent but he said it would be shorter, so I agreed.

As we went down a very steep hill we saw our route was cut off by flood water from a previous downpour. I said “hell no!” and he agreed, but by that point, it was too late. He tried to turn the vehicle around (I now know we should have just reversed) but the vehicle became bogged…. BADLY. And as a new 4x4 driver, he was ill equipped for the situation. We had none of the tools off-roaders usually carry, like a winch. He tried valiantly to free the car but we were thoroughly stuck. A dead tree was holding us in place from sliding all the way down the hillside, but the car was also partly wedged into it, and on top of a boulder. The rear left tyre was in a grave of its own making in red clay. The sun was sinking and we had to climb, on foot, the very steep hill to the one spot in this large patch of wilderness that had reception. We were turned down by Roadside Assistance for being too remote, so ended up having to call emergency services. I had to make 2 ascents of that hill, which REALLY did my chronically ill body in. But I had no choice; someone had to stay with the vehicle while another stayed up top to be able to receive any calls from emergency services. We had to give GPS co-ordinates, we were so deep in forest. Finally two service people arrived and tried to dig out the car, to no avail. We gave up and abandoned the car. My SO was beside himself and wept the whole way home, with me doing emotional support and liaising with Emergency Services as he had gone into a freeze state (his trauma response; one of my trauma responses is to flick into Support Mode, which I guess got us through this debacle…ha ha ha #notactuallyfunny). They ended up driving us back in the twilight, informing us that to get a professional company to extract the vehicle would cost as much as the car cost at $5000. They dropped us off at the nearest train station and, several hours later, we got home just before 10pm. We were lucky the trains were still running.

My SO went to bed, planning to get up early the next morning to go to town and rent a 4WD and to take our friend with him to try to extract the vehicle themselves. I insisted he went to bed a.s.a.p. as he needed the rest. I obviously did too, but felt a wicked stomach ache coming on. At first I thought it might just be a delayed stress reaction (I have IBS), but soon realised it was food poisoning. I had been feeling a bit off since eating an egg at lunch (our picnic – thankfully SO ate something different). By 10.30pm I was stuck on the toilet with violent diarrhea and cold sweats. I called the pharmacy to ask if I could take Enterosgel after having Motillium and when the pharmacist learnt I had food poisoning from an egg, he insisted I call a home doctor or go to hospital. He sounded worried. At just after midnight, I woke SO up and almost collapsed. He got on the phone at 1am with a home GP who advised us what meds to take and when a hospital visit would be necessary. I was in the most horrific pain in my gut, because the food poisoning had also triggered a severe MCAS reaction in my stomach and intestines, and I was in sheer agony. Then SO remembered what an acquaintance of ours with MCAS had tried in such a situation - several antihistamines all at one. I tried this and….the pain reduced significantly. It was still BAD but not I-Wanna-Die bad. I have yet to be formally diagnosed with MCAS, but the fact that this worked so well tells me I am very likely to have it. (Indeed, my current specialist suspects I do (it is an extremely difficult illness to diagnose)).

I finally got to sleep at 3am. Overnight the heavens opened and at 6am, worried, I crawled out of bed and insisted SO call National Parks before heading out. He did this, and they told him it would be impassable in the rain. They advised he wait until weather conditions improved. We now have to wait a week for the rain to finish and for 3 days of dry weather to ensure he doesn’t get stuck again trying to rescue his vehicle. He has secured the help of another friend who owns a 4WD (and is experienced) who is driving up to assist him this weekend. I sincerely hope they don’t BOTH get bogged down there, as that will be a total nightmare.

There ends my attempt at some fun. I am exhausted, sick, hurt all over and even more unable to cope with basic things like hanging laundry or even watching TV without falling asleep/trembling. So many attempts to get out of my home and actually live my life have ended in disaster. I feel like the universe is trying to squash me like a bug. The only saving grace was that we were rescued at all. I shudder to imagine the kind of night I would have had with food poisoning in a torrential downpour, in the pitch dark, in the wilderness, with no medication and no torch. I know things could have been worse, but my goodness, they could have been better too!

#chronic illness #spoonie life #drama #endless bad luck #don't be an idiot and go trakking into wilderness ill-prepareded #especially don't go trekking into wilderness with a broken body #absolutely kicking myself I should have known better #long post

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whatdoesshedotothem · 2 years

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Tuesday 21 August 1832

5 35

11 55

fine morning F66° at 5 35 a.m. reading as I dressed chapter 8 and 9 lib. 1 Thucydides and out at 7 25 – in the walk George N- leading stone for wearing – Pickles and his man and William Greenwood and Robert Pickles the sick boy there – finishing up the arbutus walk – went to Dumb mill – told Robert Scholefield and his man to come down to the walk in the afternoon – home and breakfast at 9 ¼ in ½ hour – in the walk again at 10 – found them cutting thro’ the old pit hill bottom of Calf croft – all wrong – made them do it up again and turn into the old line – and raise up with walling – had the stones brought to the railing some time ago from Pickersgills’ – loitered about while the men dined at 12 ¼ - all at their work again under the hour – began the new cutting along the hillside thro’ all the young oaks up the Calf croft – and had got out to where the footpaths used to go to Charles Howarths’ at 6 ¼ leaving time – it will all do very well – Robert Scholefield and his man came at 1 ½ - from then to 6 ¾ taking up the sough all along the walk in the calf croft – Charles H- and his son James railing in Tilly holm, and getting up old rails and posts in lower brea wood, and getting long stakes out of the Cunnery plantation to ash branches over the walk – in [?] these mean to make a sort of arbour – had John Booth in the afternoon mixing the 4 loads road stud, 4 ditto soil, and 1 ditto lime – home at 7 – dinner at 7 ¼ - well cooked and enjoyed it – for Betty Greenwood James G-‘s daughter of the Cunnery that came in Cordingleys’ absence went away ill yesterday morning and Raches’ sister Ellen that lived with the Miss Ralphs as cook, came this morning – and she can make ones’ dinner eatable – afterwards till 8 40 wrote all the above of today – my aunt and I went into the little room at 9 ½ - read over the courier – Came to my room at 10 ½ - very fine day – but raining fast now at 10 35/60 p.m. - have just opened my letter franked by Lord Stuart – containing 3 half sheets full, very kind letter from Lady Stuart de R- she and Lord S- going to Scotland leave the girls and Miss Hyriott at the Lodge with lady Stuart and a letter 2 ¾ pp. from Mrs. Leicester Stanhope, the cedars, Putney, 10 August supposing Francesco Bado still in my service, and begging me to forbid his applying to Colonel S- for money – which for some reason she (Mrs. S-) cannot make out, colonel S- never refuses ‘who as a husband and a father ought to spend his money on his wife and child instead of encouraging vice’ – Bado being not an honest man and being discharged from Colonel S-‘s service because Mrs. S- insisted on it after his (Bados’) intriguing with her maid, a married woman – ‘tis altogether a very odd letter – I know not what to make of it, save my good fortune in having got rid of Bado – I will be cautious about taking a courier again – But how came Colonel S- a gentleman to vouch for the fellows’ honesty when he knew him not to deserve it? – the letter direct to me ‘Hastings’ – the post office wrote ‘try Honourable Lady Stuarts’ Whitehall’ and so I have got the letter – F65 ½° at 11 ½ p.m. – and I now hear now rain – all quiet –

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the-deeds-to-shibden · 2 years

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Friday 31 July 1840

[Anne misdated this entry as Friday 30 July]

[up at] 3 25/..

[to bed at] 10 55/..

Ann awoke me out of a sound sleep – have not slept more comfortably for long – fine morning Reaumur 17 1/2 at 4 40/.. a.m. and I quite ready to be off at 4 1/2 – but George not ready – Ann said the things waited for him 1/2 hour – what an idle fellow he always is! Off at 5 25/.. to the picturesque old castle to breakfast – crossed the river not deep – 2 nice broadish streams clear as crystal – very steep ascent tho’ winding round rather zigzag quite at the back of the castle – very beautiful views along the fine corny valley – the cornfields dotted over (shaded – protected from scorching) by pollard ashtrees – singular effect – pretty enough – At the castle (could not enter and breakfast within as we had expected) under the shade of the most enormous lime tree I ever saw, at 6 1/4 – omitted measuring it – sure it would girth 10 yards 2 feet from the ground – Dadian never sleeps there but when he does, sleeps in a small wood house close to the thrashing floor, and now full of bearded wheat in progress of thrashing – 6 or 7 pair of oxen dragging as many heavy stone-studded-bottom heavy thrashing sledges over it soon after we arrived – at the moment they were watering the floor out of a great outre – breakfast over (I had cold boiled rice and cheese and Ann eggs and milk and bread) at 7 1/4 – she and I and the Cossack (left George with the baggage) off to the castle – Ann sketched the interior – 2 square towers the entrance door in the upper one, and the curtain between built up against inside with a 2 story above ground building about 9 1/2 x 7 yards inside the upper of these 2 rooms has a fire place in the middle – must have been the kitchen – outside the curtain is about 3 yards covered gallery communicating with the 2 towers and with a wooden overhanging necessary the one below the entrance door 6 stories high – the entrance door tower not be seen – full of the Dadians things clothes! etc. etc. the tower next below entrance door tower communicates inside by a wooden gallery (over stone building) with another square tower at the lowest angle of the castle and on the side opposite the entrance door tower is another little square tower 3 x 2 yards apparently communicating by a little door dehors – here did job big and little while A- [Ann] sketched outside

the well (from where she took her sketch) not far from the little square tower 3 stories above ground floor – about the centre of the rocky court there is the least church I ever saw – about 3 1/2 yards x 2 yards including about 1/2 (not quite?) the length behind the iconostase – a little perfectly plain rough vaulted building very interesting old place – inhabited by a few peasants – the galleries in very bad repair, and the whole concern ill kept up and untidy but not dismantled – all – all the towers covered with a wooden chamber over them

the door shews too high and the tower too short –

the roof hipped and overhanging and carried up to a point – very picturesque – and one chamber in each wood part – left the castle at 8 3/4 – no windows in the towers merely a few light holes – Ann sketched the exterior while I ordered horses for ourselves Cossack and new guide to go back to Lailache, not saying what for – the new guide asks /50 silver a day unmounted – said I would give it for today and let him know what I should do – had talked to Ann of seeing if Adam was gone, and if not getting him back again – en route, bethought me to set our guide to inquire if a horse could be hired for 10/. silver per month remembering that our Jew pays 5/. for a fortnight for the horse he hired at Oni – yes! but must go to the bazaar (at Lailache) – off at 9 30/.. – very hot tho’ latterly a fine air – passed thro’ the little bazaar – all shut – not near so good as at Oni – not near so good even as at Satchekhéri – merely a few little straggling shut up wood shops – back at our station of yesterday (Dadian’s place) at 11 1/2 – 1/2 asleep all the way – slept here an hour on arriving – on inquiries made about horses, find there are [none] to be hired – but 2 came to be looked at for sale aetatis 5 = 30/. 14 hands? and aetatis 4 (less by 1/2 hand) 25/. – too dear – the Cossack agreed that 15/. for the latter were enough – but called in the Cossack explained that we be off at 4 a.m. tomorrow for Koutaïs (1 1/2 day off – 5 villages en route – Adam was off at 8 this morning) – better buy horses there – yes! It appears that Adam’s leaving us was George’s doing as I suspected – asked if with 1/2 the baggage and only the Cossack and Adam we could get on? yes! said I would have the matter explained – George to go home with the baggage, and the Cossack to seek Adam and all go to Madame Boujouroff – not to say a word about all this – poor fellow! he seems very well satisfied at this decision – I had quite reconciled Ann to it – 3 of our 7 horses knocked up – our Jew cannot stir the whole of every Friday and talked of selling the horses and leaving us at the months end – and with George how could we get on? what an ill twined stupid idle fellow! nothing goes right with us thro’ him? – I hope we shall be able to try to do without him –

had just written so far now at 4 55/.. p.m. very hot – and Reaumur 26 1/2° and Fahrenheit very near 92° on my table at my elbow – on inquiring price of the horses this afternoon find there is no barley (Etchmen) here but Kukuruza Indian corn at 1 1/2 abasses per choda = 3 batmans = (1 pood said Adam the other day) and 1 choda enough to feed 5 horses twice – asleep till 6 1/2 – then out sauntering about till 8 – peeped into sheds and cottages – one old woman let me sit down by her fire and gômi pan a few minutes then turned me out and shut her door – I was now in the bazaar and a knot of men were assembled among them Adam – who came up to me – said I thought he had been gone – no! not till Sunday – said I was come to buy horses – wanted 6 – kakarousa 4 abasses per choda would feed 10 horses twice – and hay for them 1 abasse – would Adam calculate the cost of 6 horses per day fed twice a day on corn and hay – he said 1/ silver per day – would he engage to do it for that – yes! all thus agreed and arranged in the mean time the Cossack had come to us, and George and the baggage had arrived at quarters – then took Adam and went chez un Armenien (who cannot speak Armenian – only speaks Georgian) and got a good quart of milk near 5 pints fresh from the cow and Ann had already had some sent to her before – to go at 5 a.m. to see cheese made – all agreeable – Adam to buy 6 horses averaging 15/. silver each – all to be ready to be off at 4 p.m. tomorrow to sleep at Mouri 3 hours off – home at 8 – Ann pleased as I at the new arrangement – Ann made tea but I could not take any – had 1/2 glasses of milk and my cold boiled rice (a little) and a little bread then the mourave’s young man brought 21 little pears and some hazle /hazel/ nuts and he and another higher rank man seeing me crack one with my teeth cracked for me with their teeth as much as I could possibly eat and went away at nine – very fine day – Reaumur 22 1/2 and Fahrenheit 83° at 10 p.m. – Long flea-catching – and 3 or 4 lice but A- [Ann] catches several so I am sati[s]fied – paid off our new guide that had been 10 years in Russia – Zugdīdĭ 3 days from here 2 from Koutaïs.

Anne’s marginal notes:

Castle of Orbéli

least church I ever saw –

Laïlache

price of Indian corn

WYAS page: SH:7/ML/E/24/0168

#anne lister #ann walker #anne lister code breaker #gentleman jack #diary1840unannotated #russianempire1840 #georgia1840

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libidomechanica · 4 months

Text

“Wide night”

A rispetto sequence

Yet, if I be gone! Wide night? At several she knew a woman. Example, untested into the porch swinging, Die, oh! Still they

con to me. My cheeks are a North End, the turn’d for mouse, of sunset throat, another cast that be. Grow old and the Fire. Go sleepers’ den?

That lyues on his play’d their path, struck by the walls blacke and love. Round rulers and briars fell to hear it had I sign’d to the druries the end

when most, as thou can my natural. Of maiden hair. By time or cologne. Hear these fields, and changed … There’s none is like an old, white balloon.

III

Whom parting to turns earth, west, that where you would have lost breeze: theeues stealthy festivals, and her in the rampart her face lies upon his

rest: if at moments on mortality with the shepheards sight I stand the sunny land it by things— for I would mounts of truth, the sea.

The new rhythm, you were not worth! And Lord August—now was done the pull it. Pell-mell, and thee, stella is sicke too, no man on Art. Doves,

in but buried in their guns with wonders pure, all for the sport is just proud that liuing that I writ, your to introduce therefore than dead!

By all the fled meekly from my eyes than all men else, have lovest is morn before they are, we must go, endure its fir-topped Hurst, its

impressing brethren stood about his dunghill, and know, too, the Blest a saying Priam’s song in their panting to a lottery. Get up,.

Us in a moment did reed. An’ chief art so sweet and I will you leaves to hear me? All fragrance with accent driven thro’ Heav’n’s declined,

but bright, and warm white turn’d to that bed of love, all the night have life of many other befalls hem needed, and fox-terriers.

VII

On the hour I told a tale, since now one piercing eye, all is cald, the wears took compare, pronounced with eternity; or as may live

in fortune shewe fortress is my face. That thou hast to come after hallelujahs quench love with, dim- descript and fauour feet, high over.

VIII

Of heaven, there’—for weeks, I breathe! All is a brighted Troth, and full of eggs, and the library, and bow’d low as thought, queen; ’tis the twilight,

blind below, because herself felt the mind. Their own communion, as may I sing, happy valley, trick’d upon Branch cut down hearing.

Her mail, anchor’d; whither, and when the thou canst press will pype and the flock’s connection of thine out, at our degeneration, or rough.

To live, a jest, as in other, bade my heart: I string blast war, the guy of your captivity and my mother; angle, the bee kisse.

And song of the find out, each me many winding in the most fear of lace. For shame of that gray beardless skies that blows their brevity

to this Irish whiskey, I wist the end of men request, if twas dusk; she has twa sparkling fairer lodge there problem with me in!

General councils of yeares not, like a kind flowers of the truth is the gentle moves, he shock of cataract seas at her last illness,

as the winds creep so sweet city from my love of men resolve in weeks, I breathing in the mere had bene. Thou wait death the sky!

XII

Post-haste; no sister flowing bars, murmur are flock of a Caitife worthy will. Wanting for Death wound in the wind on the equivalence

of raunge of Moldavia’s wail, and where she’s coming wonder althought found the power? No sound would learning days, with the sky resign.

XIII

I dare scorn my losse of chosen one mad. Nor need, and the world thee my deeds to her and clay but right in vain, or with holy and be

sentences, this innocently with Phoebus replied, and song. Bid me to th’oaks as of our sakes must first touch’d my soul when my poor souls!

XIV

The assent: yet this, ’ he white feet hath led me; its kiss of Fitz-Fulke; then to signalise the marke in Sommer dies to me. From thy heart

I do Nature longer to please of that the golden skill and layen baytes to sally his comrade’s Juan; the Russians now must prove her.

Guess I knew not worth do to us, of Satyrs dance is kindle not, happy valleys low, but once, say nay! My lord, all known to the

wing’d eagle scorners of Maud has sentence she wild Prince than die. Now, who desire what I was but for his should not, by rysing moon.

XVI

As for his aim; full lips that same rulers and quell? And for that climbs the world, but doth behaviour. Pleased my tears, which the mightier arms

pale body shall obey they felt the bush; an’ she hath been faith torn, in vowing India of thy flame that sunset; O, a shotgun.

XVII

Writer of man’s features of white turn’d with with the haplesse miscuit utile dulci. A weak, a song? He is none of Treason faded,

and how shaking each stick; and I the serpent now draw in your brain full moon, and listen to rise that crimson barr’d that I aspired!

XVIII

But the dance could not shake its style could write the errant nothing naughty cannot to grow. Of which a curse midas they bear take it is

like tempestuous woman’s vain for the slabbed steps above these cruel coxcombs. The West; too justly ravished he knew to be gay.

XIX

I said to their bear’st the long tale, but thy flocks astate. And scape of blue as long, not even mere comes where not freely give. Is by the

kindly dream the earthy mind was like a ghost! Begin, and coy excuse the lass, by a clench of your side shatter yet I none is flood.

She had been altogether wanton playnely tree. Never weeping, too, and both of Loue to the scatter’d how truely I not sound.

It seems, had not been altogether, a star in watched Elenor! Specious village of the fish did the better, yet soft air hair’d flood.

XXI

Out the clear, now; now, who knew the arms adorned to much brings for being! To form our own. She saw her serious glimmering my rude

ignorance which, star-pitche, nor this beat. But O, what euer thy painful plight, when evening breaks, and by that where I to see. Troth-breakers plays.

XXII

Promise twice, dear, the tangles of thirteenth, where a rustic flutes: it is the chaplet any man to he count my honour’d by the foe’s.

Mine be set down thy face. Thou will not one of any things rights in the every glance, Provide and a spirit flew his counter to die.

XXIII

No soon, and silent who watch not only sad occasion, and the skies. By his host, the moon I fixed their bills, Arcadians both, and

women’s soul, in ashes, without sensation, which wexen old passive weight, but pure eyes he beloved on. But feede him by the world.

XXIV

Suggested times seize to-day, he sawdust tavern at the blood running and charm against time the hunters fail like a fire ashes, wishing

fall, m ontgomer y, rich and the while birds rejoiced; and feel her secret lovest is fire. She had peace in fame, to let it lies.

XXV

With life by the faire hairy, and no more terror where.: But love when once betweene Ioue, and on the mocking! And when the omen! I have

seen a Sultan of money; and even kind of darkness holds them. Leave the fall; too gross the last, the owl his passing been at Stonehenge.

XXVI

To move in words where I don’t prodigy and straint, came nearly. For my verses matter ends. But dead, my feete are two print on was crammed

beast? Longbow from the works, made eloquence, the two eyes Like as the shock a cony is not June for port, and I wanted on the Past!

XXVII

I open quite by nature of all these are lead; others, fluttered grace; everything can tell you of dutie green, and t’ other growest

months in a highest wind, deepening I climb the breach? I love in the balance: right. Of all I doe? In gazing of that he scuds befell.

XXVIII

About distant on their hallow’d? &Mine apparition growth of passion drew in some did reare. Is poorly imitated at the word.

And let in could have need;—first i’ thee; saw the hearts after bright. Own life’s the sea-coal fire, a kind but at once more author’s wheel? He is.

XXIX

I grew up in the Nereids fair; more like a man—so glorious landlord hath been reform, in aspect, that beneath his eyes already

your Venus gloue, as many doubtful twilight the thoughts in a trice: but never and rash enthusiasm in good to retreat!

XXX

Came vestures, or on my chin, she never seen. His great prevent: to laughing of my smart, the tendency to under your fools about,

that I had in angels’ trumpet blow; roses were to see each straggling lies be made retreat a cure, their rule me, and spoil within.

XXXI

Of men unblest kisse. Put her wanton base delight. My face rose makes one souls to either let the long- cramp’d scroll fresh woodlands, sike bene

a little questing in your kindest Calmucks, drill the rainspout you shall I wene above that lie opened them to the row of Revenge!

XXXII

At moment youth should at last you wilt; if everyone I hoped this rays from her demeanors motion what I knew a woman a’ her

will say yes, maybe. Into thy glorious through they passing heart, how after crest spreads herself, believe that clause it doth dishonor.

XXXIII

Hung this gentlemen; also my late rhymed to men, which then the his bed; but in truth, the swan. Therefore, and be one who fought,—All labour,

yet I none can great a generals, some photograph in every soul with rich hair are seacolor. He loved the rolls, pleased myself, and they?

XXXIV

A schooner, or are thou Menalcas, that, after place. Nails rusty bosom’d the signs and bony growth of Cossacques, hovering, soon, and

speak, my pretty pink, and my pet- name! Will stands someone who is call’d Jemmy, ’ after i have lost in their haram education bites.

XXXV

Our friendship could enter, because we goe a Maying. Hoofed Satyrs knell; till the loved the ruled, the dust; and I will relieve of a song of

your forget the very world laid our tree-topp’d hills and lie, till not stay, Miss O’Tabby, and all the mountainer troubled by the rest.

XXXVI

Thy propound, and laid our two batteries Hark! Let the prophecies of thee only cruel be? But from whose fire. What doen so doting, and

yet your eyes, strongest look pale, lost allow’d? That serene declined, while her heartfelt prayed by the Town. What your eyes, but mine eyes were but go!

XXXVII

Promised length descry neath a little prospect of with him, in some did not speak, my prophecy gives, your bones, are not skill and on to

annoy; but better of the love O soul, the ashes, books, pawns; the word. And blind you leave their own land batteries erect and groom fair.

XXXVIII

Were we not what’s best musing; the white feet may be, comfort her, my minute, a miracles Mens faith the palace high inspire and answer

to mortal part hence come winter former! Feelings I though engage; the named a few, if they came to go, while my bliss, hundred be.

XXXIX

Hirèd village of another doctrines thy heart, safe as god’s own common love of other beauty, some have told, that will get on. Proud

of human power of it selfe had her fairest were several Englishman, always why we are but to the sea! In hart I know.

And helpe, most no grave, is because thee their sandals o’er a waste, whereas I have never singing, leap’d upon itself and his stand, they

will, far wish me too much thy glimmering like waterfall, as a readers give us poor. Where is blooms sae green is my dark days seen!

XLI

If my loue, and under the pitiless with thou in Grecian tires him whose coole, however weep. Hair as those for better breathing

and nature with increased my hand, and the elms, and wave of orator so dear! But O, what their end; each correct, without. Your hands three.

XLII

And learn that shook when nothing i know. Sleep had but if the murm’ring gush’d by the Bank: no mixture is a fix. Rejoiced; and its beat, beat,

as Angels, who, coward, old Wisdom! And say This post, I say though in the descry such exist with their lone weirs, till the removed it?

XLIII

The codes we see will walk the prow,— thy dears! Also their feeble vassals of the tears, and love, so full of wolves, who fought appear as if

her stept: she, to be a private after the sad’s a seal the face so great words soere she bee kisse. There moans a straight, that another give.

XLIV

Thou hast. No soon, and commence nothing in the world’s blame, ne string each streets anonymous; which must not but know! Also my lay behind,

go sleepe, what sweet; the little tracklesse thee, thy guide, shine and leans, and narrow: I can that the swan. Which prove twas to art: the Future sheet.

XLV

Their own selfe to the flocke in these flower? It sighed so she melted and that are gone, and portion of some one to quite underneath: they

can bear traces. From dirt, Nothing built in truth—to proclaim—departure, time-past, known, but only thine out, thereupon take the instance.

XLVI

So short; for I hear; ’ at leave traces, wherewith brows of lusty May! That he show’ry feete more be some want to be found his leagues of

thy please a glasse: but of men torturingly the radio was a man’s little, mere mortal soil, nor holybush, nor meant to thee.

XLVII

And Lord Henry and armed, here was the row of that does his flowe. You can ever dies, the women may live in me not my use and do

not knowst I lose they bear of your hands … whose lamp of a lie coming, Juan’s youthful to th’oaten flute; rough to its maze; the hard sky limits.

XLVIII

Who could reach; and scent of folly with hindward flies, a soldier’s down. Lie with the setting eyes, accessible, not, for many people,

like man’s art, but tell her pillars and let me and swear she never more ord’nary eyes do there.—She has gathering steep rough the moon.

XLIX

A flame kind; among while among, all though exits into girls. Long- wave lightning lacketh aye so solidly where’er the puppet-shows

them. Marriage feast; still in a notary would these are empty courtesy call theefe! Should be the fire upon their treble interwove?

As so much one another give. Or in Christendome: but prophet, yet, which its strife. And so he cruel banker’s stupid hearse, I though

suffocating in men resolve to my heart’s antechamber-melodious bark, built and lullaby my selfe, and to see and which wooed.

That must be about the world, her neck did crawling up the wings or salve which they felt only can be convey’d than me. And never from

weary. And raise, paints the sessions for your witchcraft is sad next generate breeze: the news; the main account; and with my darkness ever.

LII

Slits throne, you’ve kisses and pleasure. Still these, troubled with all worthy wightly worn as the two world’s hum, was calm, and was sure under to

the captives just nerved to sence, the rules by bringing up their bodies from the moment fable and faith the colour of the ashes.

LIII

But want playe, or sauce; to the sea. Past when the body in the faire lineaments few, if but Wisdom’s Quixote, still, my Maud has sent,

down to a sword can fast and grew. You, then return in hope no relieve me, and dim. She had trod Sicilian fields, and cheerful light.

LIV

To man, a lord hath mo pence; no eye with lasting head of legal stricture you I’d plunge and of Love, I have not fairest were. The

soft completely stirr’d Return, unhappy ground, all purged and feelings of narration of her shadow falls, the dream it waketh, as light.

When at your dreams alone; while thy love thee in praise grew, at noble pride at any hour, first wast bound dizziness. Which to have drawe with

calm kiss of Britain—which all to lose to her brazen prow in port done withal, unless than one: more delight, and know what atones?

LVI

Suddenly she enough not a blast. The figure in His hand, aye until I find her feet! Of amorous theft: from the talk’d the calls

from the shepheards, to escape, and to their fan, to cold, where these two souls amaze, to light, and then to darkening heir trickling roguish een.

LVII

The third, in the bourn of it; for the blustringed verse wanted this listening now. Who may, and bow’d thee so low that valleys of Peace toward

the rising through harbengers long, O God, as Spring-days, drafts, the love-sick air; wherein he felt, that was of gratified Desire.

LVIII

All to be a wave of thee forth. You can’t answer. Into a deep is my hair awakes beneath each hardships you’ve kiss me sweetbread

fr an old apace. About the warld nor gate; there was on the garden grownd, and the queen, hail! The hunters of musketry and no cure?

LIX

An’ she has the tempest’s roar of a friendship’s just fade for what? Here continent, Adam, from City Hall too clean. When small or ill, and

for a lass wi’ a tocher, the fat from you, in pride of all the mark! Who have been, but no storm by which blend; and wett your much-adored.

But when the splendours, better Death— he turn this one open hate recruits wind are laves, and wheel. Whether wings that August you canst there

mayet thief, in preservation; so neighbour great fooling, or read lov’d the world arraigne on the Fire. And make false to die wits by quoting.

LXI

Not alone in these my eyes of the other—for deeming, and heaven of careless like when my poor a plighter; and thy mind thee thy

recommeth leave them, letting his Doric lay; surely high raigne on the gravy. With gazing of love, thy spirit flew, saw other die.

LXII

But who would heaven was her shade dight golden chain round with not long as I’ll plucked the speed of it. Come in the raise, and cold stormy

Hebrides, meanewhile birds. To a bottle-conjurer, John Bull they repent; thou wilt though all my woes I wish I were, painting west?

LXIII

The gods he died bene all the sight they’re new batteries, so alike is comrade’s Juan; sir Henry was shed upon two Ukraine hacks,

till ye go to thee: I lay there’s none you could not sad? It was near under her finger within her crest showe, then had small faces.

LXIV

I’ll tell a solutions, as tedious based on the will swing and throw hither late espoused sail’d by the whirl was gone, no tears to bringing

voice, such freends did not open, eyes, thoughts will not sad? Cleaves the weeds on dinner; and none even Death, rock-solid then never so well.

LXV

Pan in the cars go over and ride, in woman, fill me with such a tree. To flower, that he would tease here think of men at you’re lucky

present poem I wanted one, to move purification what I had been now. Of Reason: thou, to one like a new rhythm.

LXVI

Tis then, my sweep the same, give, where grim wolf with though t was awake any less. Dead religion, pages dusty brown partridges, hurling

pillar’d porch with sometimes stumbling and yet to mince before a greater faultlesse fayth, is the assent: yet have been dream it and pledge?

LXVII

Reading—’t is not so much invite me with more continent, Adam, from afar. That sing off the boats will take her robes and heart-

wearying rain: Love is so cold myster sayne the walls, long praise, and trade, to crown’d with something to turn like at an Eurydice; for I flatt.

LXVIII

She is worthy of the duet, attuned hair are rustling to be gay. Upon the oxygen. Someone else thee will in my adventure

beautiful old rhyme. She love her, like a mocke at an echo given by much in an import for all meet; my Muse and ruff too.

LXIX

Thus lily, There has twa spark disturb your brain. Thus while there will I awake any less. As long, love, all hit or more shores came town’s open

casement. And what was a forest, ere were in His hand, but the narrow after the head, the voices more death’s wounds Aeolian breathes.

LXX

That touch the lies sweet eyes including tier, for his foible, but now escap’d from a poison to driven this count of modern fame: but

purer was once a moment deep- disguised along. Sharp violin, bassoon; all is not its beat, and clear pool, where down to faith! I did.

LXXI

But I have much mortars ready to all such transgression seat of bliss to alights my soul helps to hear it, O Thyrsis, on liking,

thine head, and stocks impresse; vngrateful form to beare the spring, on a boggy walk, perhaps there. Wet was in a dreamy urn; farewell!

LXXII

Yet, lovelinesse? Far-shadows on the father’d amongst there’s a flowers his and tumbled by the faint, old, crushing else pronouncing

noon will fayre flock early about your bed will affections fully and free of the still, beside was ripe; a sources quite alone.

LXXIII

When as a rose again, the came close my wife or many a tinkling, scatter’d a prophecy; for I would stay, and every sight them

of refuses to wood, through fowl now not one that nothing which judge’s joke for out. That made, were much dross, and had not play at childhood?

LXXIV

Take the best, a way to this, if parching real, a gallant, young beautiful in siluer sound. That the chilling,—for Time, not fewer; growing

shade, or as a fault was made a stream. By the gold to aery thinks no foot of us verses matter the Christ toil up and moss.

LXXV

Proud of twelve of men and widening brethren stood; and ever, what your leave them back the pale—mething boy, pissing him here must let us

like a stoop’d falcon ere his flock’s conne no sin, and happiness; my soul had fallen his repartees. And in mass, dimension strain.

LXXVI

Leave me my home. Which province on every fine; thought into the woof of day, he shouldest date, even such out for us? Whether I

saw this sleep, and all vices ouerthrow, nor ever, t is in mournful family’s once scream. And lullaby the South, rock-solid them.

LXXVII

So oft in dew? Draw in my back the cherries fleck the page wondering, instead of love; take care, and made it spring; but I turn that

nothing some western hill along Broadway, thanne hadde in clear as in no farther fruit them hither thro’ all those tremendous light control.

LXXVIII

As love were the starting joys to tell, but half retir’d, and light he spongy cloudless sea, admit not get they drewe abacke, and warm on

amorous promised party, to leaues from her soft air how oft hath none evening-moon. I have gone, and catch, mething but a mere ague still.

LXXIX

Ding, dong, bell. I hope to Vivian- place, struck for cash bereft, nother was more bitter than all be kindly dies in the haunt me and

must allure I loved a conqueror play and seen in safety in its maze; the sun like a ghosts to pass as was made, some sucking eye?

LXXX

Like a race more evil strongly recommendation; but the dreading— ’t is nonsense, too sore, the deep, while I had been Hermes prior

to gard. The time young, he acquaint, by Machiavel, by Rochefoucault, but Strongbow frill? An’ she has twa sparkling roguish een.

LXXXI

Made greenest woods, unfettered with me in! Light from thou found a palpitating foam; your eyes: whatever Izaak Walton sings of night

i’ the monied speech as yet; two massy keys he be boundless sneer some eighty Jove, pallas, Minerva, maidenly ashamed of me?

LXXXII

Out, and oh, young lord-lover, a Fisherman lounged a providence, silenced a cure, thye neuer thou found to flowered leewardings,

shaking salamander? An exquisitely skill how darling pillar’d porch, mid his stature, turning slight broke from the cleaved the pit?

LXXXIII

Now God fortune, hapless of hottest Sommer steadfast? As in honde, to decorous Smiths’ whom cruel coxcombs. Oh, had trod Sicilian

fold, her soul, could produce a bouquet in clout I was a groves and full gaze, and where I don’t be plant my wife she has acres o’ charm.

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 6 #221 texts #rispetto sequence

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misterellyott · 9 months

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I like to listen to Dusty Thunder read AITA stories while I'm at work at night. I do a lot of walking, so I just let my tiktok play with my headphones in. It's that or I watch youtube. A lot of my nightly things I do are boring, tedious and just bland so having this little bit of noise keeps my head in the game and gives me the ability to just keep going even when my brain starts trying to play the, I don't want to do this so I'm not going to do this till it's the very last second and stress myself out.

Anyways, there was a story tonight that was like 'aita for telling my wife that after five years of her mental breakdown and not being employed that I think she needs to get a job.'

Basically, he has been working 80+ hours a week and the wife continued to refuse to get a job or even really help out around the house because of her mental health.

Now don't get me wrong, I very much do believe in mental health issues. I, myself, suffer from many. But, I do understand that eventually when push comes to shove, there has to be a compromise on some part.

My wife and I aren't happy in our living situation. I mean, who can really be happy living in a trailer long term with a 14 year old and 13 pets. It's a lot, and chores often go overlooked and even when chores get done, by the end of the night the tiny home is almost back to the state it was before you even started and the exhaustion of fighting an unending uphill battle just starts to wear on you.

We realize that the amount of pets is ultimately a large part of our issues. But, neither of us is willing to part with them. How do you part with creatures that you whole heartedly love and treat like your children?

We are parents, yes, to a 14 year old and only very briefly thought about adding another human child to our mix. It was very apparent early on in our marriage/relationship that we were not going to be having any more kids. A mutual agreement that is still present at this time.

She turns 34 this year and I turn 32, not overly old, but as a dad who has been caring for a child for the past 14 years and I never really got to be a person of my own. (Yes, I realize that is a choice I made... as a teen... to have a child, and I knew what that would mean, ish. No, I do not regret my son. Yes, I do think and wish I could go back to have waited and had him at an older age, but you can't turn back the clock) That being said, my wife and I are excited that we get to see him grow up and in a few years we get to be our very own people. We will get to be included in whatever wonderful life awaits our son, and at the same time get to have our very own life as well.

That also means, like most people, our pets are our children. We treat them like children, we care for them like children (as much as you can a non-human creature). We feed them the best foods, we give them treats, toys, dog park, walks, trips outside (for our ferrets who love being in the grass and exploring), etc.

It also means expensive as HELL vet bills. Odin alone was one of our most expensive pets as he had a very serious illness that eventually led us to having to let him go this past May.

But again, I look at all their little tiny faces and I think what would life be like without them? Sure, there are some positives. We could go on vacation without wondering or trying to save up for whatever we need to do with them while we are gone. We could leave the house for long periods of time without having to crate them, Luna and Indi absolutely WRECK the house if we don't.

But, what would coming home be like? Not to see their beautiful faces greeting me, not to get their wonderful kisses and loves and cuddles.

Anyways, I'm getting away with the reason for this long as post.

I'm EXHAUSTED. I can't say it enough. My body is breaking down, I'm running on empty. I'm struggling to pull out all the stops just to make it through another day.

I'm sick again, for the second time in less than a week. I can feel the burn in the back of my throat and the way my breathing is getting all ragged.

We started getting a little spend happy again, and we gotta nip that back in the bud so we can get back on track for paying things off so that maybe, just maybe I can go down in hours.

I know my wife is exhausted working almost 50 hours a week and being the primary care of our home. And I try my hardest to make sure I do as many chores as I can, feed the pets, change the puppy pads, make sure everyone has water, pick up and tidy anytime I find things out of place, etc. But, I have no energy whatsoever to actually clean clean anything.

I'm working well over 70 hours a week and I have little to no time at home and what time I do have at home, I find it so draining to do anything other than lay in bed watching youtube or sleeping.

My son keeps bugging me to play video games with him, but the moment I sit down on my bed and grab my controller, I'm already tired and ready to just curl up under the blankets.

I try to offer to have him come and do things with me, chores like walking the dogs or taking them to the dog park, so we can at least see each other for a while, but he is 14, and those things a boring.

I've been making sure that I always tell him goodbye and tell him I love him when I'm leaving, etc, to at least let him know I'm thinking about him, but I know he just wants my attention and I'm trying so hard but I'm so burnt out that even just five minutes of a video game and I'm spent and just want to sleep.

My wife is constantly upset as well because we don't see each other like we used to. And I totally get that. She often gets upset when I don't want to go to the dog park on days where she can take them, cause I want more sleep. Or when I don't want to stay up to do laundry, but she won't do it later when I wake up cause she wants it done early in the day.

We all have right to feel the way we are feeling, but I think we are all not taking into consideration each others levels of 'can' right now.

I want to be able to just shoulder everything and be able to do all of it and still be happy and healthy. But, at the end of the day, I'm already collapsing under everything and I just hurt all the time and it sucks.

I don't really have much to look forward to most days. As of this week, we finally worked our schedules out so that I have one day off a week instead of working 7 days a week. But, that still leaves me working both jobs three days a week and one or the other job three days a week.

I need a vacation, but we can't afford for me to take any time off work. Not even with the laundry list of medical issues I need to have attended to.

I have a broken tooth that needs extracted, I have a large hernia in the upper portion of my stomach that's expanding up my ribs and causing mild to severe discomfort most days, I have blood in my stool, I have some sort of head condition that without my prescription that I'm currently on lands me laid up in bed begging for death and I still have several months to go before the first open appointment in December for it, my constant heartburn is getting worse and I feel like I'm always nauseous. My foot has mostly gotten used to the broken bone shard that is floating around near the front of my right foot, but occasionally I step down wrong and my whole day is ruined. In a nut shell, my check engine light has been on so long it's begun to blink rapidly and I know I need to go in but I can't find the motivation to actually do anything about most my issues because it requires being awake during normal people hours (one of my jobs is a full time overnight position), it requires me making phone calls (my absolute worst nightmare), and it requires me actually having to make and keep appointments (my adhd's worst nightmare).

If we had a better place to live, I honestly think a lot of our issues wouldn't be so bad. But, the trailer is slowly falling apart due to use, and we don't have the funds to repair it while still paying off debt.

We have no family, no friends to fall back on. No one we could move in with, or rent a place with. Our credit is shit, and we are absolutely exhausted living like this and yet, until our debt is paid and we can save and somehow magically find a place that allows ferrets, we are stuck living like this.

And still in, I don't want to give up our ferrets for a house. I keep holding on to hope that one of these days we will find someone a co-sign a house with, or rent with, or something amazing like some of the crazy fun amazing stories you see on tiktok and youtube and blah blah blah.

I often think about buying small amounts into the lottery to even see if we could get just a little lucky with like a thousand dollars or something, but then I can't even think about wasting the few dollars for that but then turn around and drop thirty bucks on fast food.

And there in is another problem. Unhappy, exhausted, tired, I'm turning to food again for comfort and I'm gaining weight, and I'm even more unhappy with myself.

Why can't this be easy? Why does working with such severe mental illnesses have to be so damn hard? Why does my brain work this way? Why can't I just be a normal person and just get through my day without wallowing, without thinking about every little thing we could possibly do to try and penny pinch to pay down our debts just a little bit faster and then end up fucking that up by buying something expensive to try and make myself feel better? (Food, I'm really just talking about the fast food / coffee / etc)

I won't spend 20-40 dollars on a video game, so why am I buying so much fast food for our family? Snacks? Chips? Ice Cream?

In Sept, things have got to change. And I just don't know what we can change or do different to help lift us up and change our currently negative, tired, outlook.

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