#ill be okay. just sucks rn :(

[malikselfindulgence]

Sorry for the uptick in system stuff Im lowkey struggling and need to see system positivity posts or I'll explode

#malik's rambles #okay i know my ass is gonna vent in tags rn so . tw for that !! #iwill never shut up i missed tumblr tags so much wow #itsnot their fault and like . like i dont want to blame them . but its so isolating being and living this way #ill always be grateful for them and I know its just my brain trying to cope and like !! its not their fault but this sucks so bad like wow #also doesnt help that besides how scared I am and how I just . wanna be normal . I feel like I sound insane to other people #it constantly feels like everyone is laughing at us and is just playing along with our “roleplay thing” because they dont wanna bother #and like !! im trying really really hard to be positive about it and just live as well as I can . all of us are !! but it makes me feel like #ridiculous . it feels like everyone'll laugh and think we're playing pretend. which shouldnt matter people will always be assholes !! #I dunno aough im rantingso hard rn . and masa2 wont share which is fine but imscared and worried and scared and aauahhggggggggg #ik the point of the disorder is to hide memories from me so i can function but like . man this suckss9 bad #okay enough of this . Imgonna watch monsters inc i love monsters inc

[rexwrendraws]

random wips/doodles from the past 7 weeks from my insta. the wips pics + random filters + running commentary is a very very essential part of my process trust me

#rex doodle #sucks i never got into the habit of posting wips on tumblr. should start doing that soon. i genuinely hope to migrate off of insta tbh #anyway. making art feels a little easier now. trying to get the little things done first and its been working :) #okay now for all the tags ough #tron #the sandman #dc #spider-verse #marvel #daniel hall #hobie brown #destiny of the endless #dream of the endless #morpheus #death of the endless #desire of the endless #despair of the endless #delirium of the endless #SHES THERE THE TEXT JUST COVERS HER FACE SORRY KFJDSG #the endless one + spider-punk ones are both on hold rn. but ill come back to them #figures

[westywallowing]

back on my Bullshit and ranting in the tags rq

#in true Relationship Issues fashion #it sucks so much ass when its mental health changing and evolving that slowly starts crumbling your relationship #like im feeling it #im too anxiously independent and hes to anxiously attached and its brewing for not great situations that i am aware of #but dont know how to deal with because!! ive never dated someone like this before !! #people tell you what the flags are and what to look for but not what you should do #and that sometimes the right thing will hurt someone regardless of how you deliver it or how much you try to explain it #i dont know im feeling pretty lost in this rn and its driving me crazyyyy #but ill get through it its okay #i know i need to put myself forward and take care of my emotional and mental needs #and i am making strides to do so 👍🏻 #just needed a place to rant LOL #tw relationships #westy's shit #ranting

[pallases]

ourgejjg

#i am feeling so ill rn for no reason and i need to shower and wash my hair so bad but i can tell if i do it rn it’ll make the #lightheadedness ten times worse and there is a nonzero chance i will just pass out in there 😭 #best guess is bc my period started today and yeah the first two days suck but they’re not usually This bad #personal #also this is the last thing i need rn it’s tech week and all rehearsals lately have been going/are going to go till 10 pm and i have no tim #to do all my assignments and my probability prof assigned a lab today that’s due TMRW AT MIDNIGHT? <- we usually get a class period btwn #it being assigned and the deadline and he’s not even giving us until the next class period to do it now like why is it due at midnight #instead of noon the next day… also i have not one but two exams immediately following this weekend and i really want to see my family for #easter but that sounds like such a bad idea im so unproductive at home and i’ll be busier than usual when i go home on top of that bc easte #and one of the exams is circuits for which exams are worth 90% of our grade and im averaging a 74% at the moment which is NOT #promising and. AAAAA #also have an exam this thursday which imnot nearly as worried abt but still. and i have to meet w someone abt a scholarship tmrw during my #free period so i Still can’t work on that stupid lab due tmrw night like. this sucks okay ‼️ #the engineering chronicles #the music chronicles #i know it was only a matter of time before musical started stressing me out but 😭 please give me back the joys of saturday’s rehearsal… #oh also there’s ANOTHER probability lab due day after easter and same day as circuits exam and the prof is the same so he knows full well #what he’s doing like. why are you not giving us the usual period in btwn for these anymore fuck you <3 #OH ALSO soldering qualification i need to do for like 3 hours wednesday the night before my thursday exam. nearly forgot abt that one i hat #it hereeee #soldering i could reschedule tho which i might do. but ive already pushed it back once so im like :/ do i really wanna do that #idk. still feel sick as fuck and still need to do physics prelab tonight 😭 it shouldn’t take long but i really don’t want to get up and #stare at my computer even more ifeel so awful rn #ANYWAY. sorry that was oversharing even for me i am just 😐 you know.

[princemick]

anyway, uh, hoping I feel uh yk, semi alive/ok by Thursday so I can do the race week stuff

#i honestly dont even feel a sprinkle of enthousiasm for f1 rn #idk why #feels very no more hyperfixation but that wud b weird bc I've never in my life lost a fixation this suddenly #i just idk think its the depressive spiral I'm on #bc nothing not even painting makes me enthousiastic rn #only the sims and thats more bc it makes the timr go by fast #anyway it sucks #i feel shit #haven't been this just #bland like neutral nothing in years n its exausting #i just wanna sleep n play the sims n if that isnt THE biggest show of me not doing okay idk what is #dont feel motivation to dress nice. be nice. be social. make things. feeling nothing #just wanna sleep and waste away time #feels like im 15 again #v fun #my mom went 'oh no we heard that before' when I went down to finally make food and said I'd been playing the sims #n i was like 'its just been two days' n she just looked like .... #anyway yea #I'm fine #ill b fine #I'm on my period i hope n think that's just it

[voided-selfships]

I am..not feeling well

#physically i am unwell #mentally i am also unwell. but this is mostly physical #ill be okay. just sucks rn :( #screams into the void || vent

[crimsongrimoire]

personally love the thought of like. especially in modern au stuff. something happening between them, perhaps not in a fully lucid state of mind or not-not-emotionally-fraught circumstances or a fwb situation, and kaeya takes it upon himself to go "well if he doesn't make a Thing out of it i won't either"

#crow.txt #not writing #it just seems like a very him move #just the. they hook up and then act so normal about it cause who the fuck is breaking THAT ice huh #the answer is neither of them until it becomes entirely too daunting a task compared to where it started but also Not doing it is harder #they just see each other acting normal outside The Circumstance so its like okay well HE doesnt care like i do its fine #newsflash he absolutely does and thinks the same of you because you two are playing 27d chess against yourselves #literally just a casual competition of who can overthink it the worst and assume the other will reject them fastest. its probably kaeya #when they have slept together at least once and are both still thinking about it and pretending to be unaffected when they are ILL over it #cant remember if i had anything else to add ive been writing this in bits between work #I WANNA WRITE RN SO BAD. soon. its always like this. kicking my ass to write after im off. i try to every day but yknow #ive been sucked back into actually playing genshin somewhat rip. esp since i just got kokomi AND albedo rerun coming up. pleeeeaase c3.... #as i kept talking this is also a very canon him thing too. moreso him. i was just thinking of a specific wip as i was rambling. #(it was the body shots one)

[smokeys-house]

.

#im gonna explode #im in such a bad mood today and everything sucks so bad rn and im stuck at work #i had to take a whole week off for medical stuff #but thats a whole week where not only am i not getting paid but #ill be having to pay tons and tons of money #feel like trash today and every little thing is getting on my nerves too #this isnt directed at anyone btw this is just saying that life is v hard some times #im so. so tired #anyway #if ur reading this hi hello howdy i am okay i am just having a bad day

[n0ct0urn1quet]

@510snake this is us except we r both autistic

#im kissing you DIRECTLY on the forehead rn #THAMk you for lteign me infodump am very very haby rn........... #IM SORRY I HAD NOTHING RLY TO SAY ABOUT SPOTTY OR MEADOW im really trying hard to give them some character #other than meadowheart's starclan thing and . yknow. wifes #SJHDKBKJG #I MIGHT take your advice and make spotty evil or make her do smoething fucked up and malicious #i may make her cause problems on purpose! #maybe she could have like a darkstar moment and just snap and kill a bitch #I MEAN im not comparing her to darkstar she is nowhere near as shitty as he is . shes babie compared to him haha #but idk!!!!!!!!!! i DO want to have. one of her siblings die. annnnd i wannt to have them b killed by darkstar..... #OR WELL ok not directly killed BY darkstar. maybe killed by somene else but it all leads back to darkstar anyways hah #but idk!!!!!!!!!!! maybe ill give her a lil story arc of her own. alil tomfoolery a little fucked up moment or two #but anyways!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :] #i lub u bro i lub u lots....... #am verey sorey ur sic bro :[ being sick sucks ASS but im glad ur at least feeling better today and hopefully better tomorowe :] #also ik i say this like a lot but bro did u know........that um.....hhghgehe......preby voice :] #i just lov listneing to u talk okay !!!!!!!!!!!! u have a very lovly n soothing voice . tis very preby......... #preby girle voice :] so prety!!!!!!!! i coul listen to u talk for HOURS bro next time we vc YOU should infodump 2 me....... #just like about whatevr ur into rn !!!!!!! i wana hear u talke!!!!!!!!!! wana hear u go gbjfbgkjbfgjk about ur special interests!!!!!!!!!! #also bro i was alredy thinking of a short lil story i mite put into ur inbox.........itl prolly be less dialogue n more just Thoughts but #idk hopfully it makes u go :] !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #caus i lov u!!!!!!! and!!!!!!! i like making u go :]!!!!!!! i like making u habby n i like maiking u smile bro............... #ur smile is cute !!!!!!!! ur smile is contagious bc when we video chat n i see YOU smile i end up smiling too bc bjbjkvghj!!!!!!! #ur very prettyyyyyy u hav lovly long hair n a prety face n lovly shape........... hghge.......... #beeeeg tumy beeg thighs beeg ass beeg everythimg bro!!!!!!!! u so beeg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my beeg wifey :] :] :] #OKEY anyways sorey im cutting it short i am having many writing ideas and if i dont write them down right this second im gonna yell #so JFFBGJHFGBJKBJKG but goodnite pepper!!!!!!!! get goos seeby!!!!!!!!! il b here if u ned anythign tho like i said las nite............ #but iiiiiiiiiiii lubs u :] get lots of good seebs n snugle with the me pillow.......... :] :] goonites !!!!!! seep tite!!!!!!! bfbkj!!!!! : #I TRIED TO PUT A :] BUT IT CUT ME OFF !!!!!!! MEANYS TO ME!!!!! MEAN 2 HOLLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! >:[ SKJDBJHBHJGB

[wholesalesoftie]

pain agony suffering

#im gonna end up going to pride alone this year this sucks everything is the worst #i am definitely over tired after just returning from holiday but fuck man the tears are real for sure #just wanna hang out with my FRIENDS :( #i dont want to be alone and ill be going w my youth group and yeah theyre my friends but also :(( #please #im just very emotional over this rn pls ignore im so over tired #ramble #okay no now im even sadder bc i stg if i see my ex friends there i might just #i dont even know #hate thinking about them #literally whatever go be happy good for you but if i ever see them again ill cry and im the one who broke it off so yeah i dont want to see #them #im just #so tired of being alone #and reaching out is so #so hard #all the time #and i dont know how to handle it rn

[me-her-and-la-lune]

going to re-read maximum ride (cry for help)

#ive already re-read the twilight books. i just finished the hush hush series. the only book series left in my adolescence hyperfixation #stage is maximum ride. there is something deeply wrong with me where i cant focus on other things except these books #i blame my career situation rn. everything is changing again and im overwhelmed and emotional and its time to cling onto the books that #would help me when i was younger. #also. btw. i know no one cares but i havent read the full hush hush series probably since finale came out #and like. the second book fucking makes me miserable LOL #i used to just skip to the parts that i enjoyed but i wanted to read it all the way through and i hated it so much. it was good but it #sucks** **its good in the way that i cherish it from middle school. its YA fiction. i love them but thats about it #anyway. lots of stuff going on. ill be fine but like. if no one got me i know nora and patch got me u kno #ALSO i used to be able to read books SO MUCH FASTER it took me like seven hours to get through finale. i used to be able to read that book #like. within four and a half/five hours #anyway. i stayed up until like four am last night reading silence and woke up at nine this morning and my brain wouldnt let me sleep #like it demanded i read finale. like ok brain were almost 26 we really dont have to be doing this #anyway! may or may not start reading maximum ride tomorrow. at least that series goes on for like eight or nine books or something #i have not read this series since the final book came out. lets see what it does to my mental state LOL! #okay anyway. sry. im just going through it and i dont wanna bother my friends with it bc like. theyre going through worse things than i am #oh tags we're really in it now #i just have felt weird for months and its coming to a head now and manifesting itself in me reading my middle school books. its weird #like. can i finish killing eve pls? can i finish the multiple shows and games i have on my plate? can i read NEW BOOKS? #the answer??? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! im stuck to re-read YA bc its familar and comforting and somehow the stories still make my heart squeeze #I'M CRING oh sorry for yelling im cringeposting sry

[tunglrsillyman]

Hey quick question is it socially ok to hit a friend that you havent talked to in a long while

#neb talks #i keep making private posts that are a cry for help and honestly im not ok rn but i dont want to talk abt it in main #its nothing even major its only a culmination of things that make me less want to be present at the current moment and then ill get sad #mot being present in the future!!! #update: im sorry for worrying anyone whos reading these tags im feeling better than i was 15 minutes ago. #idk how to type it out w/out looking like im attention seeking or annoying my mini Normal Moment #***during my normal moment #even rn im struggling to type it out in a concise manner. #i'll be okay though. #it just sucks that the only form of coping mechanism is to distract myself and pray i'll have the opportunity to fix the problems that im c #***capable of fixing #at the right time. the only thing is the whole waiting and trying to fall into a mental down spiral in the process #is the hard part. #***trying not to; god i love typing in the tags using the new old xkit quick tags adder

[aiden-stardancer]

"Life is terrible and everything SUCKS!" - Me, about the worst birthday I've had SO FAR

#vent post #fml rn #ill be okay later #today just sucked

[pizzapizzadickz]

.

#diary #personal #god. i just woke up and i feel like shit. i can tell its mostly bc of like hormones probably. bc i probably shouldnt feel this bad #but it sucks. bc my god i just want to read right now so badly. but like. i have to drag my ass to work n do crap #haaah... its not even really funny but it almost makes me wanna quit my job. haha. haah... #ik there something wrong with me. cuz normal ppl arent like this right? right??? #idk. im just. trying to keep going on like this but its really hard tbh. #like. i can tell that im simply just oh so burnt out. and more and more im just withdrawing from everything and every one. #you dont know just how fucking much i hate life rn. but its hilarious bc i still love reading so im just willing to torture myself still. #....im so fucking tired. i just want a break. i really really just want a break. and more and more i feel like a simple break wont help #haaaah. i had to take a year or so off before bc i burnt out so fucking badly. #you dont know how much im desprately trying to not have that happen again. #but it sucks. because i keep on getting pushed down further and further and further. #ik my body is just gonna break on me one day. and ill probably be sobbing about how much i dont wanna work. #haha... i remember doing this one day anyways... #...its really not good you know? im really just hoping i can make it through this 3 day straight okay. #....please let me just be okay. ik im obsessed with reading rn. but please. just. let me be okay