#ig i'm just tired

[kn96artworks]

for anyone wondering whether i've caught up with geats yet, the answer is no, and i do not feel like doing so anytime soon

#random #i need a break from riders #checked the tag on twtr and e/one's going crazy over latest ep #inevitably end up seeing ppl comparing it to saber #and going how geats ix is an improvement on xross saber bla bla bla #takahashi heads really likes to dump on ghost/saber don't they #<- prolly just my own feelings #ig i'm just tired #currently staying away from it #i have replaced my nichiasa fix with jisariz #it's wonky but it's refreshing #also i'm currently watching stronger #my brain and me

[ardentailurophile]

a little two am doodle!!! i've been having a really hard time making a davepeta design so this was to test some stuff out.... im still unsure of how i want them to look but i just know i love them both so much <3

(the height difference isn't that drastic davepeta just isn't standing all the way up)

#javepeta #jade harley #davepeta #davepetasprite #homestuck #the..... th e.. #the them <3 #prototype dp design ig. still unsure. i need to sleep on it #they have white sclerae and orange/green heterochromia btw. #and theyre still glowy. they just turned it down and also i didnt feel like drawing it i'm tired

[joanofexys]

I think what bugs me the most about what happened today other than the fact that I was the one getting vagued is the fact that the conversation got warped into one that is about morality and not simply theorizing on The Ravens and how The Nest works

my original post essentially said two things:

The Ravens are victims and to erase that because they don't fit the model of the perfect victim and some have even become abusers erases all nuance from that portion of Jean and Kevin's lives and the surrounding discussion

Cults are weird. I grew up in one. And it is very easy to manipulated by one and to feel trapped and to also be completely in the dark about what is happening in a cult even when you're in the heart of it

I did not say anyone had to forgive the Ravens (they're fictional characters. fake people. that wasn't even on my mind) or that any of them are by any means good people. i also didn't say that they were all oblivious or that there weren't some of them that were abusive. I also never made this a conversation about morality and whether or not the Ravens are good or bad people for staying in a cult.

For some reason that got warped into what we are currently discussing and involved some highly insensitive language surrounding cult victims including things being said like it's not crazy to expect people to walk away from things like scholarships, financial security, or career security if it means being complacent in abuse and that it's "just basic morals".

And I'm sorry for getting personal on this but as a cult survivor I think that's one of the most upsetting and insensitive things I have heard come from these conversations today.

It doesn't matter what x thing is whether it's money or food or housing or a career. In a cult they use whatever it is you need and make you dependent on them for it. Also with the Ravens in particular keep in mind it wasn't simply being complacent in abuse. They were being abused.

If you have been in a similar situation, if you are grappling with the guilt of leaving a cult or anything like a cult, know that you are not a moral failure for having stayed for as long as you did. You are not moral failure for staying for whatever reason you did. It is not just basic morals when it comes to living in a cult. Morality becomes warped and the concept of what is immoral and moral is something completely different and that is intentional.

It doesn't matter whether you think the Ravens were aware of Riko's abuse or not. Having differing opinions on that is completely okay. What you don't get to do is turn it into a conversation about morality where you then get to insult cult survivors like we're evil people for not walking away at the first red flag because we needed something. Because we were in survival mode and we weren't able to focus on other people.

We still don't have all the details on how the Ravens function or the type of abuse players even outside of the perfect court face other than it was extreme. It's fun to theorize. And it's okay if people disagree. But if you can't be mindful about where your opinion switches from theory to some huge declaration of moral high ground then you've lost the fucking plot.

I would love to talk more about the Ravens and my theories on them. I would love to talk more about how cults work and why I think it's possible they were completely unaware of Riko's abuse. There's a lot of nuance in those conversations and I would love to take the time to treat them with the care they deserve. I'm also still incredibly upset by a lot of the things said today and I can acknowledge that this is a topic that is very personal to me. So this is me opening up that can of worms (again) and I'm more than happy to have those conversations and answer questions but please be patient with me because if it isn't already obvious this is a topic that is incredibly sensitive to me

#idek what i'm saying with this anymore #i'm just tired #aftg #tsc #the sunshine court #all for the game #jean moreau #kevin day #neil josten #riko moriyama #andrew minyard #jeremy knox #david wymack #tetsuji moriyama #thea muldani #edgar allan ravens #palmetto state foxes #aaron minyard #nicky hemmick #matt boyd #allison reynolds #renee walker #dan wilds #tsc spoilers #ish ig #personal.txt

[orange-orchard-system]

"real DID looks like this" "real autism looks like this" "real etcetera etcetera –" do you really think a rough collection of symptoms that's been agreed upon by psychiatrists and psychologists (who may not have even met people with the symptoms and conditions they're making decisions about) to indicate certain conditions can dictate the exact processes and behaviors that go on in the lives of every single person with those conditions. Do you really think that conditions typically estimated to affect – depending on the exact condition – around 0.5% to 3% of the population (which translates to millions when looking at it on a worldwide scale) will not only present exactly the same in every single person who has it, but can be neatly summed up by a couple diagnostic papers and the experiences you personally have seen from your corner of the world. No. Brains are fucking weird. There's common experiences and shared symptoms but near identical presentations are much less common than some of y'all seem to think, and you'd do well to remember that the next time you decide you are the authority on someone else's brain.

#ableism #front soup.txt #this isn't inspired by anything recent just some stuff I'm tired of seeing #disableism #tbh idk which one of these this fits so it gets both tags ig

[butterflysonnets]

all i can imagine right now is teenage theo’s stupid gay ass listening to the 2004 re-release of mr. brightside by the killers (because, yknow, vegas) on repeat while bitching about kotku in his stupider gayer journal and then having an internal crisis wondering why mr. brightside speaks to him so viscerally

#yeah i'm still on them. probably has to do with the fact that i'm currently writing some fics for them shhhhhhhhhhh #fun fact i heard mr. brightside multiple times at clubs (yes clubs) without knowing the lyrics until recently #when my friends were singing it at karaoke and i was sitting there like. THATS what this fucking meme song is about??? #idk why i just never read the lyrics because i usually do when it comes to music but ig i didn’t care enough #anyway it’s a song about gay pining. i decided. and theo decker listened to it and punched a pillow or something #is this headcanon now in the fic i'm working on right now? you better believe it. i'm ridiculous at heart #the goldfinch #boreo #eve text #eve's great tgf rehyperfixation #< please block that tag if you are sick and tired of my bullshit

[averlym]

ghostwriter (their grandma would tell them she'd lose half her soul)

#or smth smth. having a lot of Thoughts. anyways here's the piece i've been working on and sometimes u have to just say Done #there's a lot of thinks but i am maybe a bit tired and so tmr i'll come in and add all the Tags that i'd personally want to get from myself #maybe i'll reblog the extras tmr too. this is an incredibly self indulgent piece + it probably deserves a tag ramble essay or smth #ig for now we see how it stands for itself + in the meantime: #adamandi #beatrix valeria campbell #hello!! i'm back with belated tags yippee!! alright so for funsies i'm going to make it sound like i'm going bonkers over this :3 #the eye shine... the glowy eye... it's like phaethon shine but also smth about eyes to windows to the soul and like #there's two beatrixes here! half the soul. lost part doing things specific to the phaethon and here it's portrayed as tearing off her name #because that's really; truly; when it all starts!! also notable for the ghostly beatrix is i did it more painterly and cloaked in shadow and #fading into the bg. i think i was super duper specificish about where the glow comes from! front lighting back lighting beloved!!! like help #let's put it this way- beatrix face always glowy. important parts of paper also glowy. it's just that different elements are turned away #from the viewer by each beatrix!! also also. let's talk about the very gently implied blood and red etcetera #like the red string is canonical and i love personally the whole red strings of fate thing even though it's not Here Applicable exactly but #that definitely was an influence! and also the blood in the bg... i'm starting to think this is a recurring trend. but anyway shadowy bea #the other strings hang while the red string loops!! so like that one string feels almost alive. it's a sort of whimsical i put on the same #as metaphorical glowy eye!! also also the eye is lowkey influenced by the whole idea of Eyes and Spotlights within the show and also glow #as in power as in heyyy you ever think about writing as a visual medium huh #speaking of writing!! there is no beatrix thingy complete in my head without text sorrry but the black text overlays are always so >>> to me #and in the sense of art styles and overlays shoutout to all the black crosshatching outline thingys because For Some Reason in my mind #of all the characters beatrix feels like the bnw ink printed illustrations you get in books idk #fun fact! i spent so long rendering this and that was fine i liked it! but then trying to figure out text to go on the papers was a Thing #i tried to do. but then gave up on! sometimes i have to pick my battles and graphic design is indubitably Not my passion bc Fonts #fun facts about this is i Actually did start with a quick sketch in mind and there's been so many changed elements. in the og the front #paper for instance had 'ardess murders' written on it and the back one said phaethon interviews.. i like the nominee list better it feels #more narrative-esque and less passive than her just holding her writing.! other elements that got discontinued were that #front beatrix was supposed to blur into the other ghostly beatrix but i couldn't do it without sacrificing clarity so... no... no blurry #oh and the red string morphing at the ends to smth more abstract was always there from the start!! og had more floating papers #and also a silhouette of vincent and a scalpel bc 'one who pulls the strings' but that (pun intended)! got cut (hahahahahahaha) (sorry) #used also to be a lot of print room clutter but that got cut to bc compositionally i made beatrix larger (learned lesson from last art)

[kindahoping4forever]

Ash IG Story

#Sir i am so tired 😭😭😭 #5sos #5 seconds of summer #ashton irwin #ashton #ai ig #Instagram #video #kh4f post #my love why are you doing your hair in a kitchen #baby sir dude ily and you look so good but i feel like we're doing the slicked back thing all the time now #I'm just saying please put the gel down and let the curls be free

[zebratimw]

#svsss #scum villains self saving system #shang qinghua #how I be feeling these days ahdnfjgkg #I keep stressing about life in general and its seriously bumming me out hajdjg #how nice it would be to not exist #everyday I wake up and do the same things I hate #time hasn't felt real in years and it goes way before covid times #I haven't felt real in most of those years either #Look I'm lucky I'm not like depressed or whatever but frankly this derealization shit is seriously startin to get a little worrying at times #tbf I only really notice it recently so maybe its just a bias #I've been chugging along this way for years all thats changed is my perception of it #but at the same time I really want to do more too #I get I'm a very boring and unreliable person #and I know I just said its my perception of it but like I do genuinely think my social skills my general living just like me mentally ig #I'm kinda deteriorating in my stagnation ig? artistically too but more worrying in my life idbfjg #priorities sorry anyways I also think I do have adhd or something and that rejection thing dhfjgjg I really can't start things anymore #idk I really just feel so clueless in most things now and I'm too scared or too confused or both to start fixing things #like how do I even fix things? what do I even search for in this kind of thing? #Idk I'm just gonna go sleep ig god I'm so tired of everything #I haven't been able to draw I've really lost passion for a lot of things again and everything irritates me #I can't stand my phone sometimes but it's kinda the only thing getting me through it all ha #ngl I wish I were depressed sometimes if only so I'd actually have the balls to do smth but Ik that's just the Metnally Ail part speaking so #chug chug going along #I also have to make wushi before I die. haha #god my life is so empty #what am I even doing #I'm really so tired why can't my life end here already? modern lifespans are too long how am I supposed to keep going on like this? #so pointless and vapid and its just me ? why did it have to be me that was born? couldn't someone else have been here I hate it here so much #I strive for nothing but I have such a long life and so many people to disappoint haha maybe I should go outside more

[chrisbangs]

🐺🫧

Here

Now go to sleep

#m.bubble #🤫 shh... just between you and me i took these #i'm feeling a wee bit nauseous .......... it'll pass (it won't it's actually my love for him and i don't think i'll ever fucking recover) #hesssss pretty pissseddddddd on bubbleeeeeeeeeee #i feel bad... he can't really outwardly say smth either... but he's mad 😭 it's so clear... i didnt expect anything but #an ig post and pics on bbl.. was a surprise #and voice notes ??/$:!:!: 😓😓😓😓😓 my heart .. #gosh i love him . i love him......... #i'm so tired i just want for him to be able to . have 1 normal day lmao #anyway... 😓👍 sharing these before i log off again.. im really just too exhausted rn ... 👎 to deal with anything #chan #soulmate

[waffles-and-flapjacks]

I jumped in the river and what did I see?

black-eyed angels swam with me

#caption is just a radio head song #i'm not that creative #what's he looking at oooOOoOo #ANYWAYS ramblings in the rest of tags -> #this was so fun actually! i'm surprised i'm not too tired #...yet #i used a color palette #only had to use a couple references #and of course one for the pose #i suck at poses #and a few for the expression actually #i still suck at expressions. i am so stubborn i refuse to use a reference #but i took this one a bit more seriously ig #i know how i interpret this #but i'm curious what others think :) #our art #my art #hunter toh #toh ttt #thanks to them #toh thanks to them #the owl house #toh fanart

[allergictolife09]

I got so used to seeing bland and forced straight couples and much more complex and well written queer ships that now whenever I see a good quality straight ship my mind just goes "hmm gay"

#mfs be like “that's so gay” and it's literally a het ship #it's me I'm mfs #I just recently watched a show with a straight couple that didn't feel rushed and forced for once #it's been so long #gay #thoughts #haha those last two tags lined up perfectly #I don't even know what I'm doing now #just rambling in the tags ig #wtv it's not like anyone's gonna see this anyway #in my defense I'm sleep deprived #I'll stop now #I'm so tired

[fourthclone]

i got two replies out , woo . now i'm going to sleep .

#⚡ ⸺ ❝ moghome . [ ooc ] #just kind of. want to clarify i'll still pop in here to reply to stuff #i'm not burnt out on muse soasmuch as i am just #discouraged and uncomfortable #and unsure of what to do #i don't rly. want to steep myself further rn in theory talk anymore than i have or focus on trying to figure roche out. #i've spent too much time and energy on that and tbqh? the more i stress about whether or not square makes him an interesting chara or w/e #the less i want to write roche so i'm just. not gonna bother. lmk if you want to try out any potential avenues concerning my theories #and whatnot #i'll be operating on a strictly au basis so like. assume everything on this blog is bullshit for now #and ig if i don't like what they do w roche in part 3 i'll likely drop him as a muse #i'm not going to waste my time and energy wallowing on omg!!! they didn't give this character his due!! #i'm so tired of muses i write being done dirty man. i just expect it by this point and the less attached i get to it all the better #it just happens way too often so i just gotta. stop thinking so much and having another muse to focus on will help w that #i think i've reached the pt where i'm tired of 'fixing' characters. so i'm not gonna do it

[scarletlight-has-issues]

Hi so uh.

I have no excuse.

#Scarlet speaks #Scarlet draws #Scarlet animates apparently #my art #shitpost #fionna and cake #fionna campbell #cake the cat #simon petrikov #the winter king #misery x cpr x reese's puffs #misery x cpr x reese's puffs x apple bottom jeans #winterkov ig?? #To be clear I don't ship it (don't have anything against it just not my thing) just tagging to be accurate #I forgot WK's glasses for the entire last section but I'm too tired to go back and fix it -m- #adventure time #at

[wereh0gz]

It's oc posting time

Rue has vivid revenge fantasies. Extremely violent ones about the many ways they'd kill Nox if they ever got their paws on him. Crushing his exoskeleton under their bare paws, tearing him apart limb for limb, ripping his guts out and eating his heart while he's still alive- you name it, they've probably thought about it

These thoughts *terrify* her. It proves what Nox has always told her right, that she is a hopeless, violent, uncontrollable *monster*. That the reason she became a beast in the first place is because she is truly evil at heart, just like him

(In actuality, it's just a symptom of their PTSD, but going to therapy and actually unpacking all of that isn't an option to them. They'd rather die than actually talk abt their struggles)

So the thoughts fester in her mind for years. She thinks about it daily. It becomes like an obsession. An impulse. A need. And she begins to think that the only way to free herself from that torment is to do it. To kill him. Even if it proves Nox right

Even if it proves *her* right

So they hunt him down, trying to kill him every time they encounter each other. And every time, Nox gets away, and he taunts them. And the thoughts, the want, the *hunger* for vengeance grows stronger

The cycle continues. The thoughts never cease. She never finds peace

(At least, she *thinks* she will never find peace, but she does. Eventually. After Nox dies from his own hubris lol)

#ramblings #oc posting #rue the wolfdog #nox the spider #lmk if this needs any tags for anything. jic #also um spoilers for the story i'll probably never write ig. nox dies eventually lol #fucker gets squashed like a bug <3 #he basically doomed himself tho. rue doesn't get to kill him #it makes them feel a lot better actually #like they didn't HAVE to kill. like they can just forget about his pathetic ass and simply LIVE #this isn't to say revenge is bad always. her anger was very much justified #but it was also tearing her apart. it was bad FOR HER. in the end what she needed the most was to be able to move on #and nox fucking himself over and dying is the perfect opportunity to just let go. to not dirty her paws with him any further #she doesn't have to concern herself with him because he was dead the moment he chose the path of world destruction #there's also the fact that they have support from specter and phantom as well as sonic and tails #so they didn't have to face this alone anymore #i hope my thoughts are cohesive enough lol i'm very tired rn

[reddiamondyeet]

#ace attorney #manfred von karma #struck with an idea right when I was about to sleep and I just had to make it reality #born to die world is a fuck #ace attorney memes #ig i dunno #genuinely slightly proud of myself for this lmaoo #putting this in fav cause it's hilarious to me rn but maybe that's just cause I'm tired i dunno #fav #t two tool

[floatinyourorbit]

whenever i tell my mom that they made fun of me at class for liking taylor or anything of the sorts she says "i kinda understand them because they see you as an obsessive fan and childish" ... excuse me?

the whole concept of "fangirls are obsessive, weird and annoying" comes, in my opinion, from a clear place of misogyny and i think that as of today a lot of people have finally realized it... is the same thing said about men who engage in fights and scream like animals when their favorite football/soccer team scores? no! for them that's "for the love of the game"

no one is childish for simply being excited about something they enjoy (and taylor has said this herself), everything that makes you happy is worth it and no one should make you feel bad about it. i like taylor's music and it brings me comfort, makes me feel seen or brings me up when i'm down (and i could keep going but that's not the point), that's why i get excited when she does ssomething or my friends bring her up in a conversation, that's literally all

#taylor swift #rant #i'm just tired of this sry #this is because today is world book day so my best friend and i gifted each other a book #and she bought me one about taylor's musical evolution through her eras so obviously i got super excited #i went running over to the girl who is coming to the concert with me to show her and then came back to hug my best friend #and everyone around (even the teacher who was opening the door) was looking at me weirdly or laughing jsakjsd like sorry for being happy ig #the teacher told my friend '...it's something related to taylor swift isn't it...? 😐' hell yeah it is. if you don't like it look away