#fucker gets squashed like a bug <3

[wereh0gz]

It's oc posting time

Rue has vivid revenge fantasies. Extremely violent ones about the many ways they'd kill Nox if they ever got their paws on him. Crushing his exoskeleton under their bare paws, tearing him apart limb for limb, ripping his guts out and eating his heart while he's still alive- you name it, they've probably thought about it

These thoughts *terrify* her. It proves what Nox has always told her right, that she is a hopeless, violent, uncontrollable *monster*. That the reason she became a beast in the first place is because she is truly evil at heart, just like him

(In actuality, it's just a symptom of their PTSD, but going to therapy and actually unpacking all of that isn't an option to them. They'd rather die than actually talk abt their struggles)

So the thoughts fester in her mind for years. She thinks about it daily. It becomes like an obsession. An impulse. A need. And she begins to think that the only way to free herself from that torment is to do it. To kill him. Even if it proves Nox right

Even if it proves *her* right

So they hunt him down, trying to kill him every time they encounter each other. And every time, Nox gets away, and he taunts them. And the thoughts, the want, the *hunger* for vengeance grows stronger

The cycle continues. The thoughts never cease. She never finds peace

(At least, she *thinks* she will never find peace, but she does. Eventually. After Nox dies from his own hubris lol)

#ramblings #oc posting #rue the wolfdog #nox the spider #lmk if this needs any tags for anything. jic #also um spoilers for the story i'll probably never write ig. nox dies eventually lol #fucker gets squashed like a bug <3 #he basically doomed himself tho. rue doesn't get to kill him #it makes them feel a lot better actually #like they didn't HAVE to kill. like they can just forget about his pathetic ass and simply LIVE #this isn't to say revenge is bad always. her anger was very much justified #but it was also tearing her apart. it was bad FOR HER. in the end what she needed the most was to be able to move on #and nox fucking himself over and dying is the perfect opportunity to just let go. to not dirty her paws with him any further #she doesn't have to concern herself with him because he was dead the moment he chose the path of world destruction #there's also the fact that they have support from specter and phantom as well as sonic and tails #so they didn't have to face this alone anymore #i hope my thoughts are cohesive enough lol i'm very tired rn

[yo-yo-yeonkai]

HOW THEY DEAL WITH A BUG INTRUDER - OT5 - SFW

Genre: Crack / Fluff

Warning: Kai’s is suggestive! Bugs do die, so don’t read if that makes you uncomfortable. Not proof read!

Yeonjun

Ring…. ring… ring (it’s a phone guyssss)

“Hey sweetheart… what’s up?” He answers your call, and you are quick to explain, maybe a little too quick. “Jun- come home there is a bug in the kitchen, and you know I hate them, and I need you to kill it!” You slurred the words into one big sentence. “Didn’t know you were a rapper sweetheart, slow down and explain again” he suggests with a soft laugh. You take a deep breath and try slow down “THERE IS A BUG! IN THE KITCHEN! COME HOME AND KILL IT!” You pronounce every word, and he hums. “Okay I’ll be home shortly… see you soon my love, don’t freak out” he says then he hangs up after you say goodbye.

You watch the bug like a hawk until Yeonjun gets here. He stands behind you until he spots it, then he leaves and gets something. “Is that hairspray?” You ask and he tosses the can up and catches it swiftly like some type of action movie. “Yeah, I need to demobilise this fucker somehow, it’s fasttttt” he shivers, clearly hating this but pushing through for his claim at coolness.

He slowly approaches the bug and sprays it to hell and back until you are both practically choking on hairspray. He retreats and points at it “you do the rest…”. You shake your head “no, get back in there. You’ve done this much”. He snaps his head towards you with a sassy look “what gender roles are we pushing…. Go kill the bug (Y/N)!”. You laugh and enter the kitchen swinging a pan as you knew found weapon. The second you’d squashed the bug Yeonjun comes up to look at it “EWWWW, I can see it’s guts and blood on the counter”. You chuck the pan in the sink and point at it “you clean up, seeing as I killed it, Mr gender roles”.

Soobin

You were only trying to mind your business in Soobin’s room whilst he went to the shop when suddenly you came across a bug, it startled you so badly you thought you heard the HEX bug theme tune start playing (you’ll get it if you do, you won’t if you won’t- live with it<3). How were you meant to fight of a bug until Soobin got back, that’s right, hurl abuse at it and hope it gives up. “You wriggly little thing” “gross”, “nobody loves you”, “if you don’t leave, I’ll cut off one of your four too many legs”, “(Y/N), who are you shouting at?”. That last one wasn’t you, it was your knight in shining armour. “SOOBIN! Thank God you are home. There is a bug. Do what you please with it, but please may it not be in here” you ask him, pouting and puppy dog eyes, anything to not be with the bug.

He nods and gets some tissue, to gently pick up the bug and place it outside. Once he returned you hugged him “MY HERO” you cheer, dragging Soobin onto his bed. You both fall down with a giggle, and he hums “I could get used to this. Bugs should enter more often” he jokes, and you release him from your arms. “Don’t say such dastardly things!” You whine. His arms wrap back around you and he kisses your forehead “ah, it’s alright now… I won’t let bugs in. I’ll save you next time as well”.

Beomgyu

A deafening scream came from the bedroom as you try to wash you face only next door. What in the world was he up to now? You’d only left him for five seconds. You’d only just started washing your face, soap on you hand. When you entered the room, you saw Beomgyu on top of your set of drawers and pointing at the floor “KILL IT!” He screamed at you, completely giving up on any respect he had for his appearance.

You glance in the direction he was pointing and see a massive spider crawling along the floor. It was probably the size of your head! okay… being dramatic… it wasn’t. But it was big! You jumped up onto the bed, holding your face in your hands “FUCK NO, I’M NOT TAKING THAT THING ON!!! DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE?!” You shout, glancing off the bed to see if it was coming your way. Beomgyu huffs “AS LONG AS YOU TAKE IT TO THE AFTERLIFE WITH YOU!”. He was so quick to give you up… “top ten anime betrayals…” you mutter, rubbing your hands over your face, continuing to wash it the best you could. “NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO WASH YOUR FACE! STOP IT!” He shouts.

You were quick to point accusingly at him “AY, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO! YOU’RE ON YOUR PHONE PLAYING WHAT? SUBWAY SURFERS?”. He side eyes you for a split second and goes back to the game “My girlfriend (F, 22), won’t kill a bug for me, am i the asshole?”. It was then that a smart idea sprung onto you as you saw Beomgyu sat on the dresser, with his phone. “Beomgyu, just call Kai…”

Taehyun

“TAE” you shouted from the living room to your unsuspecting boyfriend. When he entered the room and saw you stood on the sofa, he was quick to join you “why are we stood on the sofa?” He says following your eyesight. “Big ass bug. It flys and shit” you whisper to him, almost scared that the bug may hear you and kill you. He hops off the back of the sofa and runs to get something. He comes back in with bug spray and decides that this is the smartest course of action to kill such an intruder. “All I’ve got to do is spray it and it’ll die right?” he asked, and you nod back. He shakes the can a bit then sprays what may he considered as a spritz on the bug, who in return takes of flying in anger.

“MOREEEEE. MOREEEE. IT’LL KILL US IF WE DON’T KILL IT” you shout hopping on Taehyun’s back as he attempts to chase after it. This could be considered as jousting if you had an opponent, oh wait, you do, MR BUG. If you have it your way, that bug will be defeated. Taehyun holds onto your leg with one hand and continues to spray unholy amounts of bug spray on this poor bug, all because it was in your living room. You’re just glad that Taehyun had learnt his lesson after the splash of bug spray, he tried to use, to kill a monster bug.

Kai

You were just trying to have a peaceful, lovely evening but no. A spider was roaming the room, invading yours and Kai’s time watching a movie. “KAI, OMG, THE SPIDER IS ON YOUR LEG” you practically scream, launching away from him. He looks down at the spider then back at you “it’s alright, I don’t mind bugs.” You do a double take and then your eyes threaten to bulge out your head “WOW, okay, I hate bugs. You are one brave guy” you giggle, only getting further away when he supposedly holds the spider his his hands. “Really? How much do you hate them?” He chuckles evilly, standing up and walking towards you. “Kai…. Stand back” you mutter, standing up and shuffling backwards as he approaches. “Would you beg for me to not bring this near you?” He questions innocently but continues his pursuit in your direction.

It was then that you realised his true plan, frighten you with the spider, he was going to chase you.

“I’m not a beggar Kai… you know this” you tell him, and he shrugs. “I think it’d be a fun experience to turn you into one though~” he teased, approaching you faster. “STAY BACK WENCH” you shout, running away and sprinting to the bathroom. You can hear him laughing behind the locked door and you think for a second about how you’ll get out of it now you have trapped yourself. “Should I send this spider under the door” he teases. You quickly snap your eyes to the bathroom floor and watch the shadow under the door. “No! Don’t do that…. I’m willing to make a deal if you put it down” you tell him. He nods, though you can’t see and responds, “I’m listening”. “You can join me for a shower?” You offer and Kai agrees in only milliseconds.

Little did you know, he never picked up the spider, nor chase you with the spider, he’d never do such a thing. But this outcome…. That would work.

#kpop #txt #tomorrow x together #txt x reader #txt fluff #txt crack #txt soft thoughts #txt drabbles #txt huening kai #txt beomgyu #txt yeonjun #txt taehyun #txt soobin #txt ot5 #yeonjun #soobin #Beomgyu #Taehyun #hueningkai #yeonjun soft thoughts #soobin soft thoughts #beomgyu soft thoughts #taehyun soft thoughts #hueningkai soft thoughts #yeonjun crack #soobin crack #beomgyu crack #Taehyun crack #hueningkai crack #Yo-Yo writes 🌷

[animesugar]

ur obsessed

NSFW// under 18 and ageless DNI

college au, asshole!jean, fem bodied reader

cw// unprotected sex, creampie, power play (but everybody's into it) hatefucking kind of, there's nothing crazy in here but pls lmk if i missed anything

i am down bad for this man and also a good enemies to lovers arc. also this is my first one of these so pls enjoy, it's a little slow angst in the beginning but she picks up don't you worry.

what a stupid smirk. you hated the motherfucker staring at you from across the quad that was doing his best to get a rise out of you, and you had ever since his stupid undercut walked into your freshman dorm as a mid semester transfer 3 years ago. He was a prick through and through, but the kind that a less perceptive person would dismiss as charming, so he got away with it. Always 3 stops past the cutoff between funny and mean, he jaunted around campus like a king, surrounded by a mostly constant gaggle of equally-dickish (but admittedly not as clever) boys and a few token brunettes. You weren’t really sure what had made him single you out that first day to get picked on, and it wasn’t really anything obnoxious. Maybe you just weren’t in the mood to be toyed with. Maybe you didn’t want him to think you were buying into the bit. Either way, rolling your eyes and shoving his bigass head out of your face before he even got a chance to bug you at point blank range had made you antagonist number one in his eyes ever since. For three years, Kirstein comma Jean had been like a single fruit fly that just wouldn't die, buzzing around just enough to never anticipate it but to always be infuriated when it came. Sometimes, it was holding the door just long enough for you to be hit with it when he let go. Sometimes, he would spill your drink at the bar under the auspice of grinding on the girl next to you. Sometimes, it was making sure you never got to keep the same seat in any of the classes you had together, taking whatever desk you seemed to have claimed. Your only form of communication with the enemy was a morse code of eye rolls and scoffs, because you weren't even sure if the ashy-blonde beast could understand human language, so why bother. But this strategy backfired because why would anyone believe that someone who you never talk to is actually antagonizing you on purpose. He’s just popular, your friends would say, so he’s kind of in everyone’s way. He’s just everywhere all the time, it’s not personal. And honestly, they would jeer, you’ve made it clear to him to leave well enough alone. And that was true. Jean certainly wasn’t in any shortage of willing victims for his games. Most girls knew that they had a 6 in 10 shot of the taunting turning into something a little more satisfying, and the rumor was that his after hours performances were worth the price of admission. Anyway, Jean’s grating presence had been a constant in the campus ecology since that fucker stepped foot in your freshmen hall, and while you definitely thought about it a lot, your conclusion was that he was just a cocky, conceited, always-cons-his-way, asshole, and so you had long since squashed any ember of desire to be one of the stupid girls in his bed that played the game.

But then, a few weeks ago, some friends asked you if the rumor was true. You watched their faces twist into a smirk as they interpreted your confused look for feigned innocence. Oh c.mon, Jean!! they drew that little fuck’s name out in a mocking tone, I heard you two fucked in the middle of the quad last night. huh?? Wait, I thought it was the quad last saturday and the back hallway of the student center last night!! What?? Your friends are howling laughing, thinking its just toooo good that you finally broke what they saw as obvious sexual tension. Flustered and beet red, you dart your head around, worried someone else heard these accusations. But then again, after a second you thought your friends were just fucking with you. They had long since decided that the running joke would be you and Jean ever getting together, so you started to relax and felt the blood leave your flushed cheeks as you waited for them to get to the punchline.

Except there wasn’t one.

Well, not for you, anyway. 

Your friends watched the look on your face settle and in turn their eyes widened. Wait, so it’s true? they ask, taking your trust in their comedic timing as a proud guilty plea. “What, no,” you say, “of course not! You guys are just fucking around right? Thats hilarious, me fucking somebody out in the open, let alone him.” You laugh through your sentence and your friends' faces grow apprehensive. uhh, no, we actually heard that from Jean...

“What. what do you mean”

They eyed each other then looked back to you.

“What do you mean Jean told you that”

I mean...  he’s been bragging to everyone about it.

Your head whips back around to the little fuck across the quad that is now starting to walk towards you, raking four lanky fingers through his hair. Goddamn it. holy fuck you hate him. He’s so so just........

What’s a matter?? ask him yourself! They all laughed and started to gather their things, a gesture that on the surface was polite but really they just wanted to watch you confront him with no out. 

As he strode up to the blanket you’d been sunbathing on all afternoon, you finally allowed him the satisfaction of a glance, trying desperately to telepathically tell him that you know his little game and he won’t get his way with you.  You wont get bothered, in fact he can say whatever he likes. You are not stupid enough to be so smitten by an idiot. But, when he dropped down to eye level with you, meeting your glare with a cutting pull at the corner of his mouth, the realization that none of those thoughts had actually reached him hits you.

You roll your eyes, an expected next step in your litany of attempted communication with the enemy, and as you started to get, Jean grabs your forearm with a big hand.

“What, now you’re embarrassed to be here with me? From what I hear it should take a lot more than some spectators to pry you away from me.”

He breaks into a full grin and chuckles to himself, so so pleased with his little joke. 

“Fuck right off, Jean, it’s so embarrassing for you that you’re trying to tell people that.” His face softens a bit but the bite is still there, “Anyway, I would never even dream of fucking you, let alone with potential witnesses.” You yank your arm out of his grasp and stand up, gathering your bag and laptop in a swift motion. Turning, you bend down to grab a fistful of the blanket he’s still pinning down, “Get off my fucking blanket, asshole” you hiss. He chuckles and obliges, standing up and cocking his head to the side, “oh, you’re angrier than I thought you’d be. Well, remember, the number one rule to not getting caught is never return to the scene of the crime, but unfortunately for us,” he looks around and spreads his arms in a sweeping gesture, “we’ve just incriminated ourselves and our actions last saturday.” His grin creeps back full-force as he drops his arms back to his sides. You can only scoff and turn away, making your way back home to the dorms. God, you hate him, you think to yourself. You also hate that his voice is stuck in your head now, and you’re kicking yourself for lingering a little too long on the thought that actually, this is the first time you’ve had a conversation with him.

Over the next week or so the rumors still swirled, but since he had been such a predictable prick to you that day in the quad, you decide to fight fire with fire. Protesting and denying will only make things worse, you reason. Jean was such a manwhore that it was universally and absolutely less likely that he hadn’t slept with someone than that he had, so denying this would be working against the current. No, you think to yourself, I’ll use some leverage. 

Which is how you had decided to start telling anyone who would lend an ear that yes, in fact, you had fucked Jean. And he was terrible. My god, he was the worst fuck you’d had in your life. Was it small they’d ask? And not one to give into the cheap shot, you would assure them that no, it was worse than that. It was long enough, but skinny, and he had no idea how to use it. He fucked like the only porn he watches is women taping hairbrushes to broken washing machines, you told them.

Finally feeling like you had gotten the one up on this little fuck, you spent the next few days happily applying all of the worst hook-up stories you or your friends had to Mr. Kirstein, relishing even more that the risk of vulnerability you had taken was paying off. 

Finishing up a group project in class the next day, you start to pack your things as you put the final details on a new tidbit of Jean’s apparent failings for your group partners.

"Oh yeah," you said, "he was biting at my leg for 10 minutes, apparently he thought I was telling him to stop and move because i was cumming. That motherfucker couldn’t find a clit if it took him by the hand."

Laughing to themselves, your group partners shuffled out with the rest of the class. You had stayed back for a minute to finish an email to the TA, and as you look up to shut your laptop, you see a large, lanky hand shutting it for you.

“So, this is the game we’re playing?” a voice questions from above.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, I’ve just been hearing rumors,” You say in a coy taunt. “Anyway, I need to go, so if you’d please unhand my things I’d really appreciate it.”

“Oh, c’mon, you’re in on it now, let’s workshop some stories together,” Jean says through a shit-eating grin as he replaces your computer with his ass on your desk, “I think we would make a better team than you seem to suggest.”

“Hmm..” you muse, pantomiming deep thought, then turning to him with a glare “Thanks, this actually has given me some ideas. I think i’ll start telling them that you begged like a dog for it. Yeah, I think thats the cherry on top. I can hear the gossip now, ‘Jean Kirstein begs to disappoint.’ Oh yeah, I think thats great.’ You chuckle to yourself as you go to zip your backpack when you feel his hand grab your shoulder.

“Do you really think I’d beg?”

It catches you off guard. the motion, the tone, everything about what Jean just did was loaded. Was this a trick to get you to look like the beggar? Was he actually mad? No, you thought, this felt.....

no, you shook the thought. It didn't matter if it was genuine. It didn't matter if he really wanted to beg you, here and now, to let him fuck you. He was awful, you knew that. You could never forgive yourself for succumbing to him. So you wouldn’t.

“Yeah, actually. I think you’re such a pathetic shell of a man that you would beg. And why wouldn’t I think that? You beg for every scrap of attention anyone gives you.”

He pushes you back, squaring your shoulders off to him as he situates himself on the desk sitting directly in front of you. Your shoulders between his knees, he leans forward and rests his forearms on his thighs, long fingers dangling loosely and grazing your chest.

“I do? You think I beg?’ he asks softly.

Fuck. You sat as still as you could, focusing on steadying your breath and not showing the flush that had just swelled through your cheeks. Staring straight ahead into his abdomen to avoid eye contact, you feel fingertips gently but firmly pushing your forehead back, forcing you to look up at him. Fuck, he’s not letting me hide you think. Goddamnit, this was hot.

But you can’t give up the game. You can’t let him think he’s won.

“God, you fuckin perv. Of course you have to beg. Who would fuck you of their own accord?”

His fingertips fall back down between his knees. He hums then sucks his teeth, “Oh c’mon baby, dont be so mean-”

“Baby?? who the fuck are you calling baby you pretentious little fuck?” you bark at him. The rage you felt towards him had suddenly reappeared in you kind, clearing the fog that his soft touch had created. “Goddamn, I literally can’t even believe you’re trying this right now. Do you really think this is a tease game or something? God, you’re not only horrible in theory, you’re pathetic in person, And that's fucking worse.”

You bite your tongue at that last word. Damn, you really hated him but you didn’t want to stoop to his level and just be fuckin’ mean. The way his face was draining of color made you think you took it too far, and your posture softened, bracing to apologize-

“Say it again”

what? you're speechless for a beat.

“What?”

His pupils start to dilate just enough to notice, and his breath is a little shakey when he asks, “Call me pathetic again, y/n, and maybe i will beg you for it, is that what you want?”

You aren’t sure if he's teasing or begging, but that confusion is allowing the wall that you had pent up any and all desire for him behind to come crashing down. God, he’s terrible, but... You decide to play along like he’s begging, refusing to give him the win of being in control here. Well, thats what you tell yourself, you're honestly so confused about the dynamics in play that your head is spinning. Which is how you got into this situation anyway.

“Yeah, beg for it you pathetic, disgusting fuck. Look at you, panting and pale just from the thought that maybe you’ll cop a feel.”

Something in your mind flips again and all of the rage and annoyances from the last three years flood back to your brain. You hated him. You hated him so so much. He was so mean to you and so obnoxious and everybody loved him and you didn’t get it. And now, you're face to face with your enemy, hurling insults like a firing squad and he's just... taking it.

“y/n, do you really hate me?”

“Yes”

“Fuck” he groans, leaning back on his hands. Now that he wasn’t hunched over, you get a better view of the raging hard on barely contained under his sweats. “You really think about me that much, baby? Enough to hate me?” He stares at the ceiling in deep thought for a moment, then leans back in. “Well I guess that means I was doing something right.” He comes closer to your face and traces your jaw with his thumb, pushing your head slightly to the side. Feeling his hot breath on your ear he whispers, “I guess I will have to beg then, since you hate me so much. Will you let me do that, y/n, will you let me beg?”

Your face is hot and tingling from his touch. It would be so easy to just get up and leave him bothered and embarrassed, and isn’t that what you wanted? It was, you mused, but right now? In this moment, all you want is for him to beg you to let him fuck your brains out. You hate yourself for it, too, are you really that horny that even Jean is making the cut? Or, more horrifyingly, is he actually turning you on? Your internal struggle is cut short by the soft feeling of his teeth grazing your earlobe, and with that your fate is sealed.

“Yes, yes you can beg me for it, Jean” You utter.

With those words, his thumb falls from your jaw down your throat, his fingers following suit and delicately draping themselves on the other side of your neck. He takes a sharp breath, "Please y/n, can i kiss you right here? Please let me, y/n I can barely stand it"

Shuddering and resenting the goosebumps that have trailed his touch, you nod, stifling a whimper. You know that the second you vocalize a response, your lust will be betrayed and he'll know he's won. So you sit there stoically as he runs his lips down your neck, taking in your scent and groaning to himself before he steadies the gentle grip on your neck and lands a soft kiss just below your ear. He continues these little flutters, just the soft touch of his lips and tongue, all the way to your collarbone, where he realizes he's reached the boundary of his request. He drags his lips back up to your ear, and between kisses begs again.

"Please, can I please use my hands y/n? I gotta know if you feel as good as i think, i'm begging you."

The begging is driving you crazy. He looks up at you with half lidded eyes that plead even more desperately than his words.

"Where do you want to use your hands, Jean? Surely you don't think you've begged enough to get anywhere near my cunt, right?" you sneer down at him, putting on your best front and trying to sell that you aren't also aching for him at this point.

He gives you a pathetic look, almost like he's about to cry, and starts to kiss your neck again. "i just need to feel your tits, y/n, i need to taste them, ple-"

you grab a fistful of his hair and make him face you. "Oh, taste? you need to need to be more specific about your requests Jean, you only asked me to use your hands. Why do you deserve to use your mouth anymore, asshole?" The pounding heat growing between your legs is giving you newfound confidence in your harsh words. Fuck, this is so hot, he is so, so hot groveling for you. Was this really the payback for years of torment? No, he's clearly getting off on this too. You saw his dick twitch under the sweats when you grabbed his hair. No this isn't payback this is... this is some sort of sick hatefuck. At least for you. Probably.

"Fuck, baby you're right i don't. I won't push my luck again y/n I can't risk it. Can i just touch them, please?" He whimpers. Releasing the grip on his hair you say yes, and with that he moves from the desk he's been sitting on down to his knees. He pulls you the the edge of your seat by your waist with strong arms. Slipping his hands underneath your shirt you feel that the trail of goosebumps continues to follow his touch down your back then up your stomach. He stops kissing the crook of your neck and lets his breath collect where his lips once were as he unhooks the fasten of your bra, letting it fall slack gently and pulling his hands back to your now exposed chest.

He runs his thumbs over your painfully hard nipples with a look of ecstasy on his face. You can feel that you’ve already soaked through your underwear and he’s barely touched you, Fool, you scolded yourself. I'm a fool for him right now. Your hands instinctively run up his arms, then neck, then through his hair, anchoring themselves there as you pull him closer. “Please” he whimpers, “Please can i kiss them”

“Ye- yes” You breath out, lifting your arms for him as he guides your shirt over your head. With one in his hand and the other in his mouth, he takes your nipple in his teeth and sucks. He circles the other with his thumb, keeping it just as hard as the one he’s moaning into. You cradle his head close to your body, lost in the warm bliss you had been denying yourself all these years. 

“Fuck, baby, they’re so much better than I even imagined” he switches his hand and mouth

“oh, so you’ve imagined this, Jean?”

“mhm” he mumbles into a facefull of tit. He comes up for air, “Fuck, I have imagined taking you every way possible. I need to, baby, please. You’re the only one who makes me beg for you. For your attention, your time, your body. Fuck baby please let me, please.” He’s whining now, looking up at you with pleading eyes and running his hands all down your sides and up your back. That last ‘please’ makes your eyes roll back into your head as your knees spread involuntarily. But you couldn’t give up just yet.

“what exactly are you begging for Jean? You need to- to use your words” You choke out, stifling a moan from his big hands coming back up to your tits like they belonged there.

“Your pussy, baby, fuck I can see how soaked you are through your clothes. I need to play with it, to taste it, worship it, fill it. Fuck y/n please” He really looks like he might cry if you deny him, and the ache in your cunt is driving you to grind your hips against your chair. “please, baby, can I lick it for you? I know you wanna cum, I wanna make you cum baby. Can I please?”

All you can do is nod

He kisses down from your sternum to your stomach and finally the waistband of your pants. “I need you to stand up for me baby. I’m sorry to even ask more of you, but I just need you to help me so I can make you feel good.” He lifts your hips up like he’s helping you to your feet, and once upright he starts fingering the button of your jeans. As he undoes it and pulls down the zipper, a little whimper leaves your lips and draws a breathy chuckle out of him. Fuck, if this is a game, he’s winning you think. Shit.

But you can’t know how close to heaven this is for Jean. God, the thrill of a three year chase, culminating in this. You’re so perfect, so soft to the touch, and so mean when you want to be. He just wanted to prove to you that those things you said about him being a bad fuck weren’t true. He needed you to know that no one could make you feel like he could. And how could they? No one else has been able to keep your attention for as long as he has. He didn’t know why you still let him get a rise out of you, but he was constantly chasing that little rush he got whenever you would spare him a cutting look, eyes like daggers tracing down his skin. You were tantalizing, and you made it so much worse by never playing along. He had to earn your cooperation in his game. And he intended to do just that, fuck, he needed to.

He looks right in front of him to your now naked pussy, having taken off your soaked-through panties with your jeans. Big hands on your ass, he tilts his head up to you, “Thank you, baby, you’re too good to me. Please sit down now y/n, let me make you cum.”

You oblige, knees spread while you lean back into the chair, letting your dripping cunt hang from the edge, ready for Jean’s touch. With one hand on your inner thigh and the other gripping your waist he brought his mouth to your pussy, licking up and down, sprinkling kisses in between to keep you on edge. Dragging his tongue from your ass to your clit, he starts to suck on it and elicits a sharp whine out of you. Already starting to get close, you gasp again when you feel two long, rough fingers tease your hole. 

“Can I please feel it, y/n?” He mutters, basically inaudible because he’s kind of just asking your cunt. 

“Fuck, yes, Jean, just put them in. You taunt me enough anyway, you don’t need to be such a tease,” you huff, rolling your eyes in mock annoyance, a last ditch effort to convince him you need him to beg.

With that, He looks up at you with an evil glint in his eye and buries his fingers in your pussy, curling them up once he’s as deep as he can get to find the spot that will make you yelp. Hearing that he found it, he starts finger fucking you, stroking that little spot every few thrusts. God, he’s gonna make me cum, you think to yourself. But you don’t wanna just cum on his fingers. You wanna cum on his cock. You need to have it in you, especially if it’s anything like you’ve been imagining since you saw the dick print earlier. 

“Please cum for me, y/n, im begging you. I really need to feel you cum on my fingers, fuck.” He pulls his fingers out and pushes them back in.

“Fuck, you’re so so tight."

Out and back in.

“I just need you to cum for me please.”

Out and back in.

“Could you do that? Because I need to fuck you and I need to get you ready for my cock.” He’s whining his pleads over the lewd sound of your wet cunt, and as he’s begging to bury his dick in you he pushes you over the edge. Feeling that you’ve given in to his request as your walls push his fingers out, he stands over you and lifts you up by the waist.

“Fuck, baby, your pussy’s so good and i haven’t even put my dick in yet,” he moans into your ear. “Can I, please? I know I can make you feel even better than you do right now if I can use it. Can I use my cock, y/k?”

“Yes, yes Jean fuck you can use your cock. You can use it however you want” you say, panting. With that, he leans down to kiss you, letting you taste yourself and also letting you realize you haven’t actually kissed him yet. He guides you to the wall, pinning your back against it with his hips and pressing his forearm next to your head. Greedy kisses travel from your mouth and down your neck, interrupted only for him to mutter, “Y/n? can you please pull it out? I wanna feel you hold it.”

“Mhm,” you nod shakily, still recovering from the orgasm. You trace your fingers down his toned stomach to his waistband. Hooking a finger underneath, you pull the elastic out and down, grazing his hard cock as you guide the sweats down his hips. holy shit, he’s big, you realize as you take it in your hand, squeezing a little. 

“Fuck, y/n” he pushed his hips back into you. “Fuck can i put it in?”

“Mhm” you squeak.

He takes his dick out of your hand and into his, guiding it along your soaked pussy before he lines up the tip with your still throbbing hole. Holding it there, he hooks his other arm under your knee, lifting your leg and giving him unobstructed access to the cunt that he's been drunk on the thought of since he sat down on your desk.

You gasp when he pushes in, only the tip at first but, fuck, its enough to make you scream. 

“please, Jean, please all the way” 

“Shh,” he coos from the crook of your neck, “Pussy’s so good and tight, I gotta work my way in.” He says, rolling his hips into you one, two, three, more times until finally you feel his full length. Your hands tangled in his hair, all you can think about is how fucking good he’s stretching you out with his fat cock. Just like he did with his fingers, he pulls his dick all the way out of you before rewarding your soaked hole with a hard thrust back in. Over and over and over. You start to grind your hips into his, greedy for more as you let him wash over your senses.

“Please jean, oh fuck, I’m gonna cum again” you cry.

“Oh, now you’re the one begging, huh?” he’s fucking you like he’s made for you, every thrust more intoxicating than the last as he holds you up against the wall. You’re basically a ragdoll at this point, putty in his hands and he knows it, but he’s just so, so high off your fucked out face, blubbering his name while he strokes your starving pussy.

God, you’re even better than he ever imagined. He could keep this up for hours, a constant back and forth of his begging for you and your begging for him. He keeps his dick deep inside and flexes it, resting his face back in the crook of your neck and feeling you shiver at that little move. 

“God, I could fuck this pussy all day, y/n. Did you know how good you feel? You knew what you were keeping from me, huh? Goddamn” His tone isn’t begging anymore, you notice. It’s dominant and in control, but still just as infatuated with you. Which is just as well, because you don’t have the sense anymore to keep up the facade of needing him to beg. God, all you wanted was for him to use you like this for hours. You had already won, he had to beg to get here. You were just fine to surrender now, and fuck did surrender feel good.

“I want you to fuck me however you want, Jean,” you barely string the sentence together. At that, the evil little glint returns. He lifts you off his cock and bends you over a desk. Expecting his dick again you gasp when its his tongue, stroking the length of your cunt then fucking it. His fingers find your finally-recovered clit and coax another orgasm out of you. Hearing your desperate panting, he grabs your hips and shoves himself back inside.

"I know, baby, it hits all the right places huh?" he groans, "Fuck" He propped his knee on the desk you were sprawled over for better leverage, getting deeper than you thought anyone could. You feel a bite behind your ear and hear him pant through another sting of profanities. He's definitely getting close- his hips start to go crazy thrusting into you wild wild abandon. "oh fuck, jean please, please cum right there!" you beg as he rams into you over and over.

His pace slows as his words start to regain a hint of whine. "yeah?" he says "you gonna let me fill you up, y/n? i fucked you good enough that you'll let me do that?"

"y-yes, ill let you, Jean, you can fill me, you e-earned it" His dick was taking such soft strokes in and out of your sensitive pussy, and you feel him flex inside you again. "ah, fuck, jean-" you couldn't even finish your exclamation as two fingers suddenly found their way into your mouth while you felt your cunt get filled.

"you like getting two holes full? hmm? maybe next time ill fill all three for you" He slides out of your stretched hole and pulls you back to sit on his lap. Looking up at him, feeling his cum leak out of you, you can't believe you ever denied yourself this. But, you were glad that you made the man who was giving you a stupid, pussy drunk smirk beg for it.

#aot smut #fanfic #reader insert #snk x reader #aot x reader #jean kirstein #jean kirschtein smut #jean kirstein x reader

[bamby0304]

Bamby Reacts- SPN 14x01

Okay, so... I know I was gonna wait for it to come on TV but I lost... and won at the same time, ‘cause I watched Supernatural 14x01!! I wasn’t gonna do anything like this, but the second I saw Sam I knew I had to write my reactions down, so here we go :):)

Below the cut is a little bit of complaining about Danneel (don’t get me wrong, though, I like her), some curse words, and obviously spoilers. Also... it’s a long post...

So… the ‘previously’ thing ends and I see Sam and I actually made a noise and quivered. Like… fuck me… holy shit… my insides everywhere vibrated…

And then I realised he’s driving Baby and my heart broke…

MICHAEL!DEAN

Fuck me, Jensen needs to talk in other languages more often.

I’ve got literal chills and I’m only… 3:04 into the ep.

I just wanna mount him…

Now that ^ that’s out of the way… I shall continue.

"Gabriel?", "The other one. The better one." - Now, now, Mikey, lying is a sin, you know.

I mean, at least the guy didn’t say Lucifer… that would have been hilarious!!

"What do you want?" - Dean, you ass.

Ooh!! Ooh!! I like the title card!!

I don’t know if it’s all the fics I’ve read… but I don’t think I can trust Ketch, no matter how much Mary believes in him.

Sam’s taking charge out of the bedroom… it’s hot.

I love Maggie.

BOBB-EH!!

Who is this douche in glasses??

"Castiel, darling." - BARFF

DOUCHEBAG IS A DE-MON!!

"Joined at the… you know… everything." - again, I say… BARFF

Oh God and the slurping… hurry up and die, douchebag.

"I’ll speak slower" - I love you Cas.

"You will tell me everything you know, or I will burn you to ash. Right here and right now." - in that raspy tone… jeez, Cas, let a girl breathe.

Question, though… why couldn’t Cas see all the demon faces??

"CAS!! NO!!" is what I yelled when they started punching him.

Ooh!! Pretty church windows!!

Sister Jo… look, I’m not not a fan of Danneel… but I kinda wish Supernatural was a Dani free place. I know, it’s not fair and I sound stupid, but bringing Danneel into it kind makes me feel awks about loving Dean so much. I swear, if they get down and dirty, I may actually throw a fit or cry. Just sayin’.

But, also, I actually think Danneel is gorg and sweet… I just want Dean to myself :)

"Hey Jo” - am I the only one who thinks she should have been called Judy so Michael could have said, "Hey Jude" instead??

"You don’t recognise me with this pretty face?" - at least we know Michael isn’t blind.

Oh… shit… Michael is pretty…

How turned on do you think Jensen and Danneel got in this scene?? ‘Cause the way he’s looking at her… I don’t think that’s all Michael.

"What do you want?”

IF YOU KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS, WHY FUCKING ASK?!?!

He says ‘human’ like it’s a dirty word…

Ooh!! He’s awake (I already know who it is, but I’m still intrigued)

Sam stepping up and taking on the role of caring for Jack… that conversation… it felt very father-son like

Side note: Jack’s hair looks nice this season.

You can do it, Sammy :) xx

Oh, the look on Sam’s face is breaking my heart, honestly…

"Oh, hey Sam,” sounds too fucking much like Lucifer. Cut that shit out, Nick!!

I know a lot of people don’t read The Hart, and even if you do you guys don’t know what happens throughout the seasons, but the shit Lizzie goes through with Lucifer… I can’t look at Nick right now.

At least Nick knows what happened. I think… I think it’s better that way.

“Must be weird, you looking at me and seeing him." - understatement.

Good job, Sammy!! I’m proud of you :) xx

One second this dude has a southern accent, the next it’s a little British… how many demons are in that meat suit?? Or is this a dissociative identity disorder kinda deal??

Mary: It’s a trap. Sam: Yep. Me: Good job you two.

“He just told you he’s a demon?", "Yeah. Seemed pretty proud of it, too." - of course he did. He’s a douchebag.

Sam has gum in his mouth and I’m pretty sure it’s Jared’s, not his.

Jack stating, "I’m coming, too” made me laugh out loud, literally.

"Castiel you sure I can’t get you hot… and black?” - is… is he insinuating what I think he’s insinuating?? He’s… he’s making a move on Cas. What a d-bag.

Ah, yes, the roll of Castiel’s eyes. Perfection!!

Oh no *literal groan* do I have to listen to his childhood story or some shit now?? Really?? The villain speech??

Oh. My. Fucking. God. He’s seen Michael.

The three d’s and the Douchebag!! Should be a band name.

Wait, wait wait!! Let me guess!! He wants to be the new King of Hell??

"And? What is it?” - Castiel, I love you.

“Everything”

Sam’s voice is breaking and so is my heart!!

“Michael could have burned him out, or worse.” - I was going to say there’s nothing worse… but then I remembered what Lucifer put Sam through, and everything Gadreel did while in Sam, and yeah. Yeah there’s worse.

I’m not a huge Mary fan, but her determination to continue to fight for Dean is swaying me.

The guy walking up to Sam… is he leering?? I don’t blame you dude, but don’t objectify my man, ‘kay??

I swear d-bag has had 20 different accents in less than 30 minutes -.-

@crispychrissy​ yeah, I agree… that guy patting Sam down… I would love to be in his shoes. ‘Whoops… my hand slipped.’

It’s Sam Fucking Winchester, thank you very much, d-bag.

HE PUSHED MY SAMM-EH!!

“The shoulders. The hair. Mm-mmm.” - d-bag isn’t blind either

“You are my Beyonce." - Right-o mate, settle down there.

“I don’t damage the merchandise.” - HAVE YOU NOT SEEN HIS FACE, DOUCHEBAG?!?!

Sam gives zero fucks.

"Let’s make a deal.” - you’re dead.

And then Sam frowns and I swoon and yeah, it was a good time.

"I’m a demon. That’s what we do.” - I instantly started humming Katy Perry’s This is How We Do

Him tapping on the chair… Imma rip that finger off and shove it in his ass in a second.

"Barbarian.” - excuse me?? Weren’t you just talking about eating babies?? And do not talk about my Sammy like that.

"What do you want?” - is there a broken record player somewhere??

"Asmodeus Kentucky fried." - finally he came up with something good!!

Sam interrupting him is a big turn on.

By the way, I’m currently a little lonely, so everything Sam and Michael does is a turn on right now. Sorry, not sorry.

"Yes you do. Or you will.” - IS THAT A THREAT, MOTHER FUCKER?!?!

Now, while I don’t want there to be a king, if there was going to be one he would be on the bottom of my list of candidates.

"I want to work with you, Sam.” - this guy is an idiot

Don’t talk to Cas like you’re a threat. I will squash you like a bug.

Sam and Dean never turned their backs on demon activity… they just got… busy.

"We never gave Crowley that deal.” - Ooh!! Called it!!

Don’t fucking insult Crowley, Douchebag. You have no right. No foot to stand on. In fact, Imma cut those feet off and give those shoes to a Hellhound if you don’t shut up. Puppy could use a chew toy.

“I would eat your heart.” - YOU WOULD STARVE!!

"I’m not afraid of you.” - You should be.

"No.” - oh Sam you know how to turn a girl on!

This guy does a lot of talking…

BOBB-EH!! D:

SAMM-EH!! D:

"Balls.” - it’s all good!! Bobby’s fine!!

"Stab them with the pointy end.” - does Maggie watch Game of Thrones??

NO!! D-BAG HAS THE KNIFE!! D:

Sam looks nice in that jacket, btw

YAY!! D-Bag is dead!!

“There will be no new King of Hell.”

“And if anyone wants the job, you can come through me.” - oh baby, don’t tempt me.

So turned on right now.

Poor Jack…

Cas is just too much right now!!

*gasp* UNKNOWN CALLING!!

Oh.. it’s just Jo.

#supernatural s14 #supernatural s14 spoilers #spn s14 #spn s14 spoilers #supernatural spoilers #spn spoilers #bamby reacts

[creamybeemovie69]

Shawn and JJ HCs

I don’t know what to say except you’ve never met 2 people so different yet so similar in your life

They are the complete opposite to what you’d expect too, and normally hide their actually personalities

Shawn’s a sweetheart that tears up if he smiles too much or gets too happy, but he pretends to be salty and distant because he doesn’t want to be bugged by people constantly

JJ’s actually really serious and if he had the choice he probably wouldn’t smile much, which is a stark contrast to his seemingly chirpy personality and it’s mainly just to be polite

Basically their real personalities are the others fake ones

JJ’s just a fucking Titan at this point and even though he’s shorter than Shawn he’s definitely got Travis’ broad build

And he hates it

Shawn’s a long lanky boi with about 1 ounce of fat on him

They share a room

They both have their wedding rings on permanently

In all fairness as much as JJ’s the serious one and Shawn’s the sweet one JJ will never pass up an opportunity to hug someone because he has big stronk arms that were made for hugs and Shawn still has the worst temper known to man

Unless there’s a child involved

Then Shawn will not under any circumstances stop hugging this child

Jaime tried to teach Shawn to dance once

They ended up on the floor in a big cuddle pile

most people find tall men attractive, and that’s true for Jaime, but there’s nothing attractive about walking into every fucking door frame going Shawn.

Well, it’s not attractive, but it’s still adorable

Shawn’s autistic and you can’t convince me otherwise

That’s partly the reason he worked with fabrics, he likes the feel of them

Shawn and Jaime have appalling handwriting

I don’t think words can express just how protective of eachother they are, and normally any threat they use against others works very effectively because Jaime has The Soldier Glare tm and Shawn is very quick witted

In all fairness it’s only eachother and later Anti that know what their true personalities are

I can’t really say that ones PTSD is worse than the other because what Jaime saw was constant and a permanent image in his head but what Shawn saw was genuinely scary

While Shawn doesn’t sleep much he doesn’t struggle getting to sleep like Jaime does

Once when Jaime couldn’t sleep Shawn just hugged him while he told him about everything he’d seen while he was at war and it basically just ended up with them 2 laughing there asses off at Shawn because Shawn asked him if he’d ever talk again but jaimes like “um you’re deaf mate why do you care” and the conversation ended with Jaime calling Shawn “dense as a rock”

Shawn’s like 36 and already almost completely grey he doesn’t know what’s happening

Jamie’s the 2 youngest with Robbie being the smolest bean

Fuck it I’ll do their ages here in oldest to youngest

Henrik: 38

Shawn: 36

Angus: 30

Jackie: 29

Marvin: 28

Chase: 28

Jaime: 26

Robbie: 24

Anti doesn’t even have an age any more he just knows he’s somewhere between 2 and 1000 and that’s it

Shawn’s even more confused because henrik’s more stressed than he is yet there’s not a single grey hair on his head

They’re all convinced he colours it though

Once Chases youngest Sophie ran out of the room with wet hair and one of them hooded towels and Shana could tell Chase was struggling so he played with Sophie for ages

He learned more about the modern world from a 3 year old in 30 minutes than he has from fully grown adults in a year

All 3 brothers can/could sing

JJ was weirdly relieved when Shawn started sharing a room with Anti because he’s always scared he’s going to hurt Shawn in his sleep

He still doesn’t like sleeping alone though

26 years of dealing with Shawn Flynn will wear you down to same resting bitch face JJ has

Marvin accidentally summoned about 20 cats that all just threw themselves at Shawn and he was just crying because he loved them and he loves all animals and baby’s and cute things because he’s a child

Jaime spends 2 hours every morning getting ready because hair and moustache

Jaime has 6 tattoos

A deer skull with flowers growing out of it, a rifle with a pocket watch’s chain wrapped around it on his right arm, Jack Hunters dog tag information on his left, angel wings on his back, ‘whisky’ written on his lower back and ‘Shawn Flynn’ on his right wrist

Shawn has “Jameson Jackson” on his left wrist

Tom and Jaime rant about Shawn’s stupidity on the daily

Shawn, Jaime and Jackie are literally the only tall ones

Anti’s like 5 foot

Jaime will literally write an entire musical in 3 hours just because he’s bored

Jaime’s a morning person

Shawn is the farthest thing from it

Jaime’s cursed like 2 times in whole life and will scold anyone who curses around him

Shawn swears like a sailor and it drives JJ insane

Are you surprised the times JJ cursed they were at Shawn?

Jaime has a half sister somewhere too

She’s also Irish

He can’t escape them

Long story short, Jaime has like 50 siblings somewhere or another and Shawn’s literally the only one he talks to

Shawn rolls his eyes that much Jaime suspects he knows what the inside of his head looks like better than his own appearance

Jaime has a girlfriend that know one knows about

Well I mean obviously Marshall knows because it’s Marshall but he can keep secrets so it’s fine

If you can understand him, the things Shawn says in his sleep will either scare the hell out of you or make you laugh your ass off. There is no in between.

Jaime swears he’s the only straight ego in the house

The weird thing is Shawn doesn’t even look old, he doesn’t have any wrinkles or anything, which makes his hair even more confusing

Do not. Let either of them. Near chocolate.

They will inhale that shit in seconds

Neither of them really leave the house much just because the world confuses them

Jaime is on social media a lot? Probably because he doesn’t really consider it talking

No one can figure out Jaime’s mutism, because he makes no effort to stay quiet if he’s laughing or making any other sort of noise, he just refuses to talk

Jaime can use magic, but it’s more cartoon physics than the big flashy stuff Marvin can do

Shawn and Jaime know each other’s boundaries

Said boundaries are not calling your younger brother ‘discount Charlie Chaplin’ and not calling your older brother ‘elongated spud’

Outside of that there is no insult they won’t throw at each other

That being said, don’t try to get involved or something will end up broken, and it will be you

Do not under any circumstances start a fight with either of them

Jaime’s a pacifist, but his fights will either disarm or kill you

Shawn will never back down from a fight, and after years of running through the studio he’s very light on his feet. He’s not necessarily strong, but you’ll struggle landing a hit on him

And they’ll back each other up, so on one end you’ve got a big burly soldier that could probably squash you between his fingers and on the other a hot headed wippet

Just don’t do it

You’ll loose

Jaimes skin, aside form his scars, is perfect

Shawn, on the other hand, has acne scars, freckles, birthmarks, the whole fucking lot

Jaime’s good at slight of hand and any form of card game, but Shawn can and will beat you at any and all games as long as it’s not a video game

The only person who has ever come close to beating Shawn is lacie

Shawn really likes stars? Like JJ thinks they’re pretty and stuff but Shawn adores them and he loves constellations and stuff

Neither of them are religious just because Shawn’s dad was a really heavy catholic and they hated it

It seems to be a reoccurring pattern that not one of the brothers accents faded. Shawn’s didn’t just because he’s deaf, but Jaime has always had a British accent and Travis has always had an Irish accent, even though they’ve both lived in America for most of they’re lives

I’m going with the HC that Shawn’s Charley from the Butcher Gang so he has a pretty bad limp but he’s sort of learned to ignore it? Like if he needs to defend himself from something he can literally just shut off the pain until it’s over but then it hurts like hell afterwards

Other than that it’s not really that much of a problem other than not being able to walk for as long the others and not being able to ‘switch it off’ when he wants, it’s just sort of a reaction he has to extreme situations, like adrenaline almost

They both have shit eye sight, hence JJ’s monocle (which he only wears if he wears a vest, which is normally only in winter)

Shawn broke his glasses once and he had to tie one of Jack Hunter’s hair ties around the middle and he just never took it off

Motorbikes were cheaper and easier to get back then and Shawn needed a quick way to get to work but he actually really liked it because it was fast and he’s a child

Anti brought him one for his birthday

Jaime fucking hates it

It’s dangerous, loud, takes up space, there’s no seat belt, and Shawn doesn’t wear a helmet

Not that he’s scared of going on it or anything

He swears

Jaime always hides his tattoos

He sleeps face down to stop him from waking up Shawn by screaming

Jaime’s friends with Henrik now and sees him as more of a brother than the enemy, but Shawn hates him with a passion just because he A) hates doctors because the one who visited his mum fucked up and she probably wouldn’t have died as young as she did if the doctor focused and B) associates his accent with the fuckers that gave his brother PTSD, why wouldn’t he?

That being said Henrik really has to watch his volume because Jaime is silent in every way and you don’t really know when he’s going to turn up behind you so if he shouts in German then Jaime will end up having an anxiety attack and Shawn will slap him up

Never in your life have to met anyone as sarcastic as Jaime. He’s British and Shawn was his main influence growing up, what else did you expect

They live off cornflakes. Religiously.

Shawn loves kids

Jaime doesn’t even really sleep on the bed anymore, he just sleeps on a mixture of Shawn’s chest and Shawn’s thousands of Teddy’s

#shawn flynn #jameson jackson #HCs

[beatmetothesnitch]

My Friends Know I Just Want to Talk About Myself

I was tagged by @woodys-nightmare to do more of these answer questions posts (which are harder than they look cause then you have to COME UP WITH QUESTIONS). Also, Woody love, I came home from a very long day at work and saw this and was instantly cheered up so thank you! 💜💜💜 My answers: 1. What is your favorite pair of shoes you own/have owned? You mean besides the bratz light up sneakers I rocked in the 2nd grade? I have a pair of brown healed ankle boots now that are a STAPLE in my wardrobe. Like I have bought whole outfits around the boots. 
2. What fictional place would you rather visit? I KNOW THIS ISNT THE QUESTION BUT I WANT IT ON RECORD IVE BEEN TO FORKS WASHINGTON In other news the obvious answer is Diagon Alley
 3. What war or disastrous event would you go back and stop? ...the trump election... that counts right...? 
4. Are you usually early or late? Late to things I don't want to do early to my job and to fun things 
5. Squash a bug or set it free? Squash that fucker so flat and then flush it and then clean the toilet I don't mind bugs outside but in my house I have a zero tolerance policy 
 6. What tv show or movie do you refuse to watch? 13 reasons why 
7. What is the most annoying questions people ask you? "If your mom is black why are you white?" I dunno. I have no clue. I cannot explain genetics. I am but a dumb humanities major. And no I don't know what I'm going to do with this degree. Thank you for your concern random STEM major. 
8. If you could put one law into action what would it be? You made a mistake my life goal is to be a politician. I have so many ideas. The main one I've been thinking of is a Good Samaritan Law where if it can be proven that you saw someone in danger or heard screams for help and you did not investigate the victim can press charges for a small amount of reparations (like at the most $250). Obviously if I were to write it there would be a lot of precautions set up to prevent faking it for money or something. 
9. What Greek god or goddess is seriously overrated? The OG fuckboi Zeus 
10. What movie title best describes your life? The Ridiculous 6 
11. What’s the best pickup line you’ve ever used? The worst? Best: Voulez-vous que je parle français entre vos cuisses? (Do you want be to speak French between your thighs) The worst: *in dining hall eating a banana* I find you appealing Disclaimer: none of the above have ever worked And for my questions I want to ask my newest followers but like no pressure or anything!! I'm just very nosey 👀 1. Hi I'm eden the random blogger down the street! What's your favorite color? 2. What is your preferred name? 3. What fandoms are you a part of? 4. Do you have any pets? Do you want to send me pictures of your pets? (Please say yes I love animal pics) ( if you wanna see pics of my dogs let me know I have a lot) 5. If you were stranded on a deserted island would you look for food, fresh water, or shelter first? 6. What was your least favorite class in school? 7. What question do you wish I'd asked? 8. If you followed me for fandom stuff, which fandom was it? If not, oh my god you must be disappointed, what fandoms are you a part of? 9. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning on a normal day? 10. What's your favorite flower? 11. Do you like these ask games? If not, SORRY! I'm tagging @woodys-nightmare (but if you're tired of these you don't have to do it I know your answers to a lot of these anyway) and @shouheiii @rainyturtlethings and @eversall and of course if anyone else wants to do it please do Im literally always looking for new friends!!!!!!!!!

#ask games #lets play an ask game #I scrolled back a month #and realized all my new followers were bots #except those 3 #so they are my new friends

[everestcresent]

So um...Something just happened and...I just want to start off saying I am not smart.

SO I saw this bug. It looks like a roach but it's apparently not a roach and I saw it on top of a picture hanging in the living room. Now as the only one still vaguely alive and functioning at the unholy hour of 3:21am, it's my unspoken duty to be the one who vanquishes this unwelcome guest. So when I saw this little asshole hanging on the picture, my mind geared itself into hunting mode and I grabbed a tissue and sauntered over to squash the fucker. I position my hand for a clean kill and...I missed. The assface retreats behind the picture. Now here I'm at a loss because I don't want to take the painting down in case I accidentally fuck it up somehow, but I also don't want that bug going free. I briefly consider aborting this quest until I remembered that they're fast little fucks and once you take their eyes off them they're gone. So I took my chances while I still had it in a spot I could get to. And these mighty words echoed through my mind

You underestimate my tenacity.

Soon enough I took down the picture and the beast was murdered all without harm or injury...well except for the bug but anyway. It was time to place the picture back into it's rightful place. Easy peasy. Piece of cake. It's just a walk in the par-

The damn hooks in the wall fell off as I was trying to put the painting back up. I paused to absorb this fact in for a few seconds before I hear the mighty words echo in my head

I also underestimate my stupidity

So uh...yeah it's too late to hammer the hooks back in without upsetting the neighbors, so I'm sitting here with a painting of the Bluenose Schooner sailing on the couch while it's sailors judge me on it's deck.

Again I will state that I am not smart.

#Kingly Talk #Well eh...hahah...well fuck #that's all i have to say #the parent is gonna be pissed

[bloggaiasailinglove-blog]

A Day in the Life of a Sea Hobo: Exhibit A

0800 hours

Personally, I get out of bed after lazing around for an hour thinking about things that I can't get on a boat.  We're usually up and active around sunrise, in time to greet the dawn with a stream of piss off the back of the boat.  Someone makes coffee the way Diego likes his women: thick and black.  I miss Tim Hortons coffee.  Breakfast is an as-you-come affair, with everyone snacking lightly on peanut-butter sandwiches or a bowl of granola or a beer.  As y'do.  

0830 hours

Diego and the captain go spear fishing off a nearby reef, so Liza feels obliged to clean the boat.  I was going to laze and read, but I feel guilty, so I pitch in.  We spend two hours scrubbing the deck and other piratey-sounding cleaning chores that are not exotic, while the boys play in the water with their sticks. Dishes from the previous night's feast (we use buckets of salt water rather than waste our fresh supplies), bathroom, cockpit (so many squashed mosquitoes!), laundry, floors... this old boat gets dirty fast with four people living on board.  She's a dirty girl, but we love her.

1100 hours

I finally crack a book, and a beer.  The weather is pleasant: 80 degrees and a light breeze.  We're anchored in Morgan's Bluff, an ugly little working harbour that does not live up to its pirate legend, but does provide good shelter from any swell.  The guys return from their fishing trip and do a victory lap in the bay to all the other boats, showing off their catch.  Four good lobsters, six porgy and some kind of snapper – Liza and I decide to allow them back on the boat.  They only stopped hunting because a six-foot reef shark started taking a too-keen interest in their bidnez.

1200 hours

The first real meal of the day is grilled fish and lobster tails.  Diego is a chef, and has vastly improved our diet from the post-apocalyptic rice-and-beans scenario the captain and I were facing when it was going to just be the two of us hobos on board.  We eat like kings and queens on Gaia.  I volunteer to do the dishes again, magnanimous in my culinary contentment.  

1300 hours

The Caribbean sun is hot. We dive off the side of the boat for a swim. The water is cool this time of year, maybe 65-70 degrees.  There isn't much marine life in the bay, so we're not overly worried about sharks, although the Caribbean has been full of them.  Liza tells the skipper that he has officially expired, indicating that he needs a bath worse than Gaia did.  David doesn't let us shower inside (“too much fucking hair, you fuckers��) so we all take  a team bath on the deck to rinse off the salt water.  If we had taken a video of that shit we'd all be internet famous, at least among the soapy-balls fans.  Weary from a hard days' work, I lay down for a nap.

1430 hours

“I wanna see the pirate cave!” Liza says.  This is, after all, Henry Morgan's cove.  We've been drinking a lot of rum in his honour, but decide we should get some history in as well, so we pile into the dinghy and head to the beach to try to find his famous cave.  The beach is lined with abandoned wrecks from the last hurricane that blew through here.  There's an old rusty tug named Bath up on the beach, along with a varied assortment of other nautical detritus.  We find the road, then the cave, with little effort.  The cave is cool, I guess.  It's not much to look at, but it is admittedly sweet to take a piss somewhere that Henry Morgan probably took a piss.  Sea hobo solidarity yo.  

1600 hours

Instead of heading back to Gaia, we decided to go to happy hour in the shitty little port.  There's a bar there that somehow survived the last hurricane... or maybe it didn't survive and they just slapped it back into place after the storm blew through.  They have a great deal on beer: $3 for one or $6 for two.  The bartender doesn't appreciate our dry humour.

1800 hours

Gaia's latino complement all pitched in to make another feast while I sat lazily in the cockpit having a rum.  More grilled fish, tortilla espaniola (a potato and egg dish) and lobster rolls, along with my newly-minted official Gaia cocktail – the 'rumgarita': spiced rum, lime, and margarita mix.  Again, we eat like fucking kings on Gaia, every day.  The food disappears quickly as we stuff our faces, leaving only a regrettably large pile of dishes... but fuck that, we leave them for tomorrow.

2000 hours

We're forced to retreat from the decks to escape the horde of mosquitoes and noseeums that have palpably changed the density of the air outside.  Indoors, the crew lounges on the bunks and couches, illuminated only by the red sea light, which doesn't attract as many bugs.  We chatter about our sail plan for the next day while David illustrates our options on a nautical ipad app.  Bullshit and storytelling about (“I swear her tits were this big!”) and we kill another $8 bottle of rum, pouring the last drop out for Poseidon.

2030 hours

We're all in bed. Any day where you see both the sunrise and the sunset can be considered a success. It's the sea hobo life.