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grapecaseschoices · 2 months

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I'm so curious as to how hiyam, lala and ori would fare in the world of bg3. What race, class and subclass what they be and would they be a dark urge or a regular tav? And who would they romance and who would they not stand? 🫣

haha. this is such a tough question. especially since i am not dnd world expert [or whatever is between expert and novice]. so come on the journey wif meeee~~

Hiyam:

Hiyam is someone who cares about appearance and success. She cares about her looks, music, and isn't the most social of people -- though she knows how to flirt.

So I feel she might be an undark being. Maybe half/full-drow or duergar. I'm leaning the latter because it seems that drow society is Intense and I don't feel that such an intense society would actually beget Hiyam, though she would probably fit there after birth. Also duergar are dwarves -- and dwarves are creatures of pride [from what I can see] and can be quite snobbish. Plus the duergar we've met are DICKS.

I can see her being a bard, because music. But also because I feel it would get the same reaction from the duergar society as it got from her parents: WTF.

Duergar value toil above all else. Showing emotions other than grim determination or wrath is frowned on in their culture, but they can sometimes seem joyful when at work. They have the typical dwarven appreciation for order, tradition, and impeccable craftsmanship, but their goods are purely utilitarian, disdaining aesthetic or artistic value.

So I can see her being like the cultural hard-work but being like well I like flash and substance, and everyone was like .... was she dropped in the head? Also, I feel Bard works because Hiyam is a flirt -- and she has the allure of a songstress. She isn't traditionally charismatic but she does draw people. Plus vicious mockery and tasha's hideous laughter is perfect for her lmao. I think College of Valour would work best for her because music tells a tale -- I mean most mine do, but she definitely I feel uses her music to recount her experiences or hint at things. But also to talk about certain things she finds important.

Like her beat was definitely upbeat political popsong in game:

"Try as you might but we're not goin' without a fight." "The people have spoken and our spirits aren't broken." "We're a million awoken hearts. We're a million bright lights." "Yeah, we're a million eternities. You try to break us but we'll always be free."

Alternatively, I think half-orc could work for her as well.

Lala:

I want to say Lala is human. Because off the top of my head, I feel they best fit that sort of whimsical race? But maybe gnome. They would be a fat gnome, lmao

Gnome Cunning: You have an advantage on Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma Saving Throws.

I would lean with Forest. Because tho they aren't RECLUSIVE but 1. the speak with animals [which lala would mostly just use to speak with cats] and 2. they do value their quiet and own space. They're not very out to the party [tho they are the one to walk to their own beat]. [Though would deep gnome indulge the love of black and rocker aesthetics~? lmao.]

Also for CLASS. Druid doesn't seem -- from what I've seen about druids though they're nature-y, they seem to be very fixated re: a certain ORDER. I suppose they could be like Integrity and do their own thing. Or a barbearian like Kendis.

Would Bard be a cop out? In another life Lala was a math teacher. So, Wizard lmao. [Though infamous Lala probably should be a bard or at least have a background as entertainer. If they were a bard, I feel they'd be college of Lore.] Tentatively I say Divinity or Transmutation sublcass.

Ori:

Ori is defiinitely human. Or half-elf. Jack of all trade: skilled in all, master of none. I also like the 'belonging' element that hits half-elfs, tho. Especially since Ori is mixed and also trans.

I wish artificer was a thing in BG3. Because Ori liked to make model planes and etc. Still does iin infamous but it was a whole connect thing in another time I played him. I really don't know what he would be.

#grapecase plays bg3 #ask: bg3 #ask: infamous #grapecase answers #long post #im sorry this is such a mess and sorry for teh delay!#<- is what i originally put then i still forgot to lost this?? why???#hehe thanks for the food for thought :-D #so sorry anon #if youre still around /sobs

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skitskatdacat63 · 8 months

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2023 Qatar Grand Prix - Sprint - Oscar Piastri

#not my best ever gifs i dont think BUT IM SOOOOO HAPPPYYYYYYYY!!!!!!#OSCAR P1!!!!!! OSCAR WIN!!!!!! OSCAR ROOKIE WIN LETS GOOOOO #i still cant believe it this is absolutely insane #i feel like i find myself saying this every week about oscar but wow #back in bahrain i could never have imagined him winning a race this year!! IN HIS ROOKIE SEASON!!!!#I was shocked when i woke up to see him have gotten pole in the shootout #AND THEN TO WATCH HIM WIN!!!! SOOOOOOO GOOD #Im so proud of him sob sob sob #again: throwbacl to me and dru talking abt the possibility of him podiuming or even winning #and i was like no way i doubt it with this car. nevermind :) ive never been so happy to be incorrect #WHERE IS MARK!??!!?!??!!? WHERE ARE YOU???? YOUR BOY JUST FUCKING WON!!!! WHERE IS THE HUG???? WHERE IS THE CONGRATS???#i swear to god if i check his insta and theres yet another animal vid on his story im going to kill the old man #HE WAS WANDERING AROUND THE GARAGE YESTERDAY FOR QUALI!! WHERE WAS HE TODAY AAAGHHHHHH #oscar piastri #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #2023 qatar grand prix #2023 qatar gp #we do a little bit of f1

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necessarymeanstoanend · 2 months

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spade represents the tip of a pike; an implement for killing

alex’s

white void of doom

sketch and background element/scribble that isn’t really visible but i’m sharing just in case anybody did notice it.

other details

#now i have to draw one for alex *sobs*#how tf do you guys come up with backgrounds for EVERY DRAWING?! oh my god. i’m not creative enough for this bullshit #two things i discovered with this drawing: 1) birds are hard af to draw. 2) wet black hair is hard af to draw #you guys have no idea how many purple hues are actually in this art piece #this is like if dream and jessamy happened to have met under way worse circumstances #anyway let me know if you guys have any ideas for alex’s (i have no idea when exactly i’ll actually get around to it but still)#bones and shit #a majority of this one was inspired by The Locked Tomb fanart and symbolism #6 hours and 34 minutes but i’m gonna guess that roughly an hour and a half of that was me trying to figure out a background #tom sturridge #like minds #murderous intent #like minds 2006 #nigel colbie #art #fanart #drawing #digital art #nigel colbie fanart #artist of tumblr #like minds art #nigel colby #<- including the old tag bc why not #somebody get this movie out of my brain #scoop it out along with all the other useless shit i keep in there #i was thinking maybe alex’s should be the complete opposite of this #like instead of his head being turned down it would be turned upwards #maybe he should be wearing the clothes he did when we first saw him with sally rowe (or maybe his school uniform)#i definitely want both of them to be side profiles and the theme is going to have to be somewhat consistent as well #<<‹ these tags are mostly so i remember my own thought process but feel free to leave your two cents

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hazyupset · 1 year

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“… I actually feel happy.“

@gothic-mothic….. ur narrator…. i hope i did him some justice its hard coloring a man with one color and trying to make him scruffy….

#i glamorized him…. i apologize…. starts sobbing #ANYWAY I SAW UR STANLEY POST AND WAS LIKE….. theyre in this together i think #GOD. i need both of them to rest…. restt #tsp #my art #styxarts #the stanley parable #tspud #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #tsp narrator #the narrator #zending #AS ALWAYS. CLICK FOR BETTER QUALITY PLLEASSEE #anyway friend if youre still reading these tags hiii i love you a lot and ur narrator so funky #and ur stanley cant forget him hes what started this thing #anyway i love you and ur style and i hope i brought ur narrator bbg to justice i feel like i didnt grgrggrgrhrgrgruuggh #biting you and shaking you around…. lovingly before i tackle hug you and give you more flowers 💐 or something idk im not gay like that #actually i take rhat back. i am gay like that. im so gay for you I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MY LOVE MY GRACE MY FRIEND OHH YOU BEAUTIFUL MAN

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tecchous-thicc-buttocks · 8 months

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Do you have any bsd headcannons you'd like to share? (literally anything, I just love learning about other peoples hcs)

OMG YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES SORRY FOR RESPONDING SO LATE IVE BEEN USING THIS IN MY DRAFTS AS A COLLECTION OF JUST ABOUT ANYTHING THAT GOES THRU MY MIND AND I'VE JUST DECIDED I'M GONNA POST IT ALR

chuuya's hat is so old (bc it keeps getting passed from person to person and he brings it with him everywhere obviously) and WORN OUT but he has no idea how to fix it. he treats it like his child but it's inevitable that the material will deteriorate over time, so he's been trying to convince himself to go to a hatter for ages and can't swallow his pride. he drunkenly told it to hirotsu once night while they were drinking, and hirotsu just sighed and got it fixed for him that night while chuuya was passed out. they never spoke about it.

dazai has met several women who actually did say yes to a double suicide. the majority didn't mean it and just wanted to toy with him, but ran when they realized he was serious. a few actually did mean it. he pulled strings and invited them to a romantic date, except that he sent therapists there instead of him, basically playing matchmaker. all those women are now doing better but ask him about it and he'll act dumb and say he knows nothing about it.

fyodor needs glasses. his eyesight definitely sucks and the hours he spends at a computer don't help. however, he manipulates himself into thinking that he's actually fine when he's not. nikolai also has shitty eyesight bc of his dull eye and the other one he's probably abused looking at the birds in the sky and thus the sun. they are literally the blind leading the blind. nikolai places his portal 2 meters from where he meant to put it and fyodor says "good job". it's incredible how they're feared terrorists.

sigma gets tired wearing heels all day. he wants memory foam but doesn't know it exists. give him his goddamn memory foam. anyways one of his employees saw him holding his feet in pain and offered him orthopedic shoe inserts. he hasn't been the same since. would give them a raise if he knew how.

tachihara used to get acne from having his bandage on his nose all day. so, he's developed an incredibly rigid skin care routine. his face is soft as hell. cheeks are smoother than you'd think.

kouyou made it her first demand as executive to raid her favourite shop where she gets all her kiminos and accessories. hirotsu led the black lizard battalion into the shop and the workers were so fucking confused. stole expensive silk fabrics and clothing of the highest quality because she doesn't settle for less, and in the process has gotten hirotsu more into fashion. they go shopping together.

speaking of shopping, kajii only goes thrifting. have you seen his clothes?? they're not his size and torn as hell but they're so damn cheap he can't resist. his sandals are so goddamn iconic. yeah he's blowing you up but his dogs are OUT like a mf psychopath. i maybe love him a little too much.

ivan has greasy hair. while doing his surgery thing wtv tf that was, fyodor was continually grossed out (ironic aint it). pushkin was then ordered to help ivan wash his hair and they died just a little bit. neither knew what the difference between shampoo and conditioner is, and they struggled with it for a long time. eventually when they came back for fyodor to do the surgery, ivan's hair smelled like flowers and was braided cutely because they gave up and went to a salon where the people working there fell a little in love with his hair and went overboard. pushkin's hair (if you can call it that...) was also in a little bowtie. they enjoyed their little adventure just a little bit. just a little ofc.

odasaku has no idea how to cook curry. he loves it and fears doing it wrong, so he just buys it from the same place over and over. considered asking for the recipe but never did because why change what is already perfection. dazai however is convinced oda has housewife abilities and can cook like a god. he never knew the truth.

fitzgerald can't do math. he pretends he's good at converting currencies but in his head it just doesn't add up. 20 000 yen? that's like.... 5 freedom eagles obviously. no biggie *throws a bunch of american dollars at the workers and just takes the item and leaves* he also doesn't give tips when it prompts on the machine, and instead prefers sliding a crisp bill to them directly. cried a little when his favourite shop told him they ran out of an item he wanted and they didn't budge after he slid them a stack of 100s (he has no idea how many were in the stack)

fitzgerald also owns an airline but he doesn't manage it personally ofc. his only interaction with it is that they provide him and the guild with a private jet to travel to japan. lovecraft did not get on. he swam??? who knows, but he did not get on that plane. lucy got sick and louisa freaked out every time there was turbulence. mark was snoring loudly the entire way and steinbeck had his nose pressed on the window looking outside the entire time the lil cutie.

agatha has the super power of drinking tea while it is still piping hot. she never burns her tongue and never complained about its temperature, except when it's too cold. the water was literally boiling once (her subordinates wanted to find out how hot she can go) and she gulped it all down without a single contortion of her face. incredible.

shirase doesn't understand english and keeps trying to learn it but every time he thinks he's getting the hang of it, someone throws cockney slang at him and he gives up.

adam finally figured out how to blow a bubble of gum, but keeps swallowing it. one day, it clogged his internal system (he's not supposed to be eating obvi) and he's been afraid of it ever since. thinks it's possessed by evil spirits his android brain can't understand. i also hc that he recharges thru solar panels integrated onto his skin and for this reason he goes to the beach to 'tan' often. HE'S SO PALE people get a little concerned for him when they see him not apply sunscreen and just lay down for hours at a time. one lady actually told him he could get skin cancer and he opened his eyes "ackshually 🤓👆" then began reciting every fact known to man about skin cancer. rip that lady

verlaine and rimbaud complain about france all the time. "fuck france i fucking hate the french this country goddamn sucks" then as soon as someone else says anything bad about it they give them death glares and threaten death for disrespecting their country.

wells has memorized a whole lot of things about quantum theory from her days studying to be an engineer because it was her favourite class. she cannot handle mechanical or civil engineering topics and physically ascends at the mention of anything to do with dynamics. i also think she's been hit on a lot while wearing disguises; she tells them she's actually a woman, they freak out, then she sends them back in time. this time, they do not approach her and thus she doesn't have to deal with the awkward rejection and doesn't even remember it.

jules verne has made little dolls and pretended that they were his friends and invented scenarios in which they hung out. i will not elaborate on this.

albatross sometimes interrupts conversations in order to listen to the engine of a vehicle passing by. tries to track them down, too. he'll be the type of guy to ogle at your car without making eye contact with you while you're still in the car. and when i say ogle, i mean ogle. checks out motorcycles more often than women.

the flags bully lippmann sometimes when he acts in a really cheesy scene. he's coming to hang out with them and they're all giggling and chuckling at him stupidly. albatross walks up to him, tucks his hair behind his ear and whispers whatever cheesy thing was said in a low voice before bursting out laughing (he usually starts laughing before he can even finish the sentence). pianoman slides it slickly into conversations, and doc 'fufu's at random moments when looking at him and he suddenly remembers the scene. iceman has not watched the movie and chuuya couldn't care less.

the first time he tried to take the train, ranpo loudly exclaimed and yelled at every turn and stop of the train. he went during rush hour too and got his entire body smooshed into the strangers next to him. he squealed when someone accidentally (accidentally) grabbed his ass in the crowded traincar, then asked loudly who did that. dramatic as hell. got his pockets picked and knew who did it, but couldn't do anything about it. he felt awful and slumped his way back home and collapsed into yosano's arms with a groan. this was the only time she'd ever willingly bought him a bunch of sweets and let him eat them in peace while he ranted to her about the atrocities

kenji is more notorious on the streets than he knows. he got recognized by some huge 200cm tall man built like a goddamn tank with tattoos all over his body who wanted to fight him. kenji was so flattered that he knew his name that he thanked him and burly dude was like. wtf. anyways they got beef ramen together afterwards bonded over cows and are now besties. he's told the agency about it but they think that by "friend" he means someone else his age.

tanizaki ran into kajii once at his favourite thrift shop. he recognized him and ran out freaked never to return. for this reason he had to keep wearing his same stanky ahh uwu girl clothes that don't fit and hasn't had a style update. actually, when doing his research for how to infiltrate the mafia, tachihara found out that there have been a lot of sightings of known dangerous ability users in the thrift store, and that's why he wears the same shirt as tanizaki.

tachihara dreads the hunting dogs meetings because they make him feel like the only sane one there. his back has become so chiseled from carrying teruko around all the time, and once - jouno thought it would be funny - he tripped on a wire laying down on the ground and almost dropped her. he had to use his ability to pick her up from the belt of the uniform to prevent her from faceplanting, and she looked like she was about to explode. he had to let her beat him up a little then she hopped back on his shoulders and nothing changed. he questions his life choices often

jouno can't handle cinnamon or ginger scents, they overwhelm him and he goes into a fucking sensory overload coma. odor orgasm. sinus sex. teruko got sick once and tachi made her the strongest herbal and ginger tea you've ever seen (learnt it from his brother rip the goat) and he collapsed on the ground with a moan. woke up a half hour layer with no clue wth just happened. tecchou eventually heard about it, placed a hand on his shoulder and said "it happens to the best of us" while nodding solemnly then never elaborated.

yeah fukuchi and fukuzawa used to steal food when they were younger but imagine them figuring out milestones together. "dude my armpits are itchy where is this hair coming from :(" "genichiro i don't need to know about that *scratches at his armpit subtly*" i think they were very goofy about it

speaking of puberty elise once freaked mori out by saying she got her period. dude was like. wtf. you're an ability. how tf. she insisted he got her a bunch of tampons n pads and chocolate and heating pads and the works, then once he (the underlings he made go do the shopping threatening their lives if they ever told a soul) bought everything, she looked at his confused and asked why he bought those things. she's an ability how could she have a period? mori cried a little that night.

bram is a swiftie for no reason other than i think it's funny. alternatively, i believe he listens to reggae for no reason other than i think it's goddamn FUNNY.

kunikida's old students sometimes run into him on the street and recognize him. they immediately straighten their backs, nod at him and quickly walk away in the most respectful way because they don't want to ruin his schedule. he nearly tears up from happiness every time.

natsume goes through 5-6 "here, kitty kitty!"s in a day when he's just vibing around. people try to feed him grass blades. people get WAY too comfortable rubbing his stomach. once, a girl saw him on her way back from school and started scratching a random spot behind his ears and he folded so quickly and just melted on the sidewalk. he wont admit it but he has that weak spot in human form too (i want to pet him so badly this is self indulgent ok). the girl was actually gin btw. she's an animal whisperer i dont know why i dont know how but she is.

#im dying just a little because of the way my head is overfilling #i rly hope the anon who asked this is still around to see my answers :sob:#i LOVE making stupidly specific hcs this isn't even the half of it #guys drop your hcs or character you want my hcs for in my inbox!! (i want someone to spam my inbox womp womp)#yeah i spoke a lot about tachi what abt it #i love him a little too much i need someone else with the same level of obsession as me #i want him as an s/o so i'll be immune to bratty vending machines #^^OMG THIS APPEARED WHEN I WAS TYPING TAGS APPARENTLY I ALR WROTE THAT??? it's still true ofc #anyways yes i like to try to cater to most characters bc i'm a sucker for the underrated lomls #i would've slapped you with more lovecraft but i must ease back into writing hcs (i haven't done this in years)#uhhhh yeah #that's all my lil dumpling wumplings idk wtf else to write #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd hcs #bsd headcanons

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dont-read-the-latin · 7 months

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btw idk if this is an unpopular opinion cuz i've def seen a few people saying they HATE him but i have a secret love and empathy in my heart for zep and this tidbit in the script makes me SICK

#also it would be so fucking scary if a guy kidnapped you and your daughter and he's just wandering around the house #and then u hear him shriek in another room and he reappears still visibly sobbing.#like why are you as the kidnapper crying that's so freaky #saw #saw 2004 #saw script #zep hindle #zep #:(

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anony-mouse-writer · 5 months

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Okay, but can we talk about how this season had the MOST solid teams? For a season that started episode 1 with barely any concrete alliances, by the end of the season, almost every team was in ride-or-die mode to an extent that we usually only see from one or two factions at most in other seasons.

cletho enjoyers have been having a field day over here with cleo and etho’s run at painting the town and grian was the only one who listened to etho when he said that they were outnumberedd and outgunned and sacrificed himself with the intent to get gem into manageable territory for everyone else.

the mounders went into the last battle together and joel and bdubs died in the same fight, barely blocks from each other. pearl, who’d spent the entire last episode telling the boys not to die on her and offering they kill her when she got low, was the last survivor and was Very Not Okay with it.

the heart foundation was a bit funny, cuz bigb was always one foot out the door, so his ‘do you have an alliance/ ehhhh’ while they lived was fairly on brand, but tango betrayed scar and walked knowingly into his death with him because he wouldn’t betray skizz.

gem and the scotts were, of course, ride or die from day one. even with scott doing his social gaming and gem’s apocalypse, scott and impulse both gave her their yellow lives and scott gave her his red as well.

and even, in the end, scar, who’d gotten genuine offers of alliance from 3/4 of the factions and denied them all for one reason or another, still ended up teaming with pearl at the end and managed a heartbreaking final fight.

#this finale was like 15 consecutive shots to the heart #anyways im still sobbing in the corner here dont mind me #slsmp #slsmp spoilers #life series spoilers #trafficblr #gtws #mcyt #cletho are the couple that got married. realized they were better as friends. divorced. and are now bffs #its great #and thats not even counting all the mini alliances #etho said it best #you gotta have your scotts in your series- you gotta have your bdubs in your series.#that one person you feel can feel comfortable around no matter what situation #my h e a r t #op

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johnmeowston · 1 year

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top ten guys who would shatter if thrown at a wall number 1

#thinking abtpers ERMM sorry always think abt him late and then i get self concious. BUT i think #''yknow that life we lived is over. and when we were living it it didnt mean anything anyways'' < THAT. THAT MAKES ME THROW UP AND SOB #because it DID mean something to him!! it meant everything !!#it was the one thing that kept him going he was trapped w laius or wahteva #the idea that if there was even a SLIM chance of him escaping and meeting back up with coyot and things going back to the way they were. it #was worth it enough to endure torment and try to not go crazy < wanted 2 be somewhat normal when he caught up w coyot #even though it never did turn into a reality and instead he came across gunner #and it wasnt until after he had grown to love his new life and the people around him that he saw coyot again . circumstances aside he still #was so happy 2 see he was alive and well. was happy to see that coyot also lived with the people he loved and was doing alright for himself #and was in a better mental state and was well fed and !#he loved coyot. im so emo over that. love was there but it saved nobody < shaking and crying and throwing up #and thats why i think him dying would be the best outcome 4 him tbh. having to kill your old family must be fucking devastating #and he only did it to ensure a false sense of safety. FML!!#txt

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worstloki · 7 months

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Isekai where Darcy/Jane hit Thor with their van and Thor wakes up as a precious princess character of some fairytale world. Things progress as they tend to in isekai with some poor romantic interest villain character inadvertently ending up around him. Thor wants to get out of this world so bad and is subtly trying to drop hints for the villain guy to spill info on how to dimension hop. It soon becomes evident that Loki was also isekai’d and is stuck as the story’s villain.

#Thor: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I AM A NOBLE’S DAUGHTER THIS IS A DOWNGRADE I AM A MIGHTY WARRIOR—ooo I have a personal serving maid >.>#Thor goes for a walk in a forest or something gets lost trips on some thorns and is bleeding and lost bumps into the typical isekai villain #Thor hearing the guy’s name after some maids were earlier talking about how this guy keeps trying to ‘snatch her away’ or something #Thor like OH NO. NO. NU UH. and misreading every single attempt of the guy to help him #the guy is actually Loki and has no knowledge of this history #Thor keeps thinking this is the plot of some twisted dimension trying to give him a love interest #Thor eventually saying something that gives him away and Loki just stares at him like ‘......THOR??’#thor sobbing like how come you get to keep your magic and be a guy and Loki is like I am the BAD GUY. everyone here HATES ME.#Thor: at least you have your dignity T-T #Loki: I tried going to the local market to ask around for info and random people threw rotten vegetables at me -_-#also this is Thor1core so Thor has to get less arrogant through this and Loki has to spill how he feels about the adopted lied to things #they have to make up before figuring out a way to go home #Thor like so you still have magic right so we can go home???? and Loki is like. no. this isn’t my magic. and I don’t know how this happened

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actual-changeling · 8 months

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the ending of episode five fucked me up because they're all healing, stede and ed are healing, realistically, in love, as both individuals and as partners. izzy is happy! fucking happy! he has friends, family, people who love him and care about him. people that stuck with ed and izzy through dark fucking times but are still willing to stick with them because that's what you do as a crew.

i don't think anyone's waiting for me

no one's waiting for me. no one. every single person i have ever cared about has left me. every. single. one. 100% probability that i will be abandoned. because when it comes down to it, i'm too much. doesn't matter what specifically did it this time, it all falls under "you're too much to deal with so i'm ditching you". i'm saying this as neutrally as possible btw. i'm forced to live for myself because there is no one else and that is both a little bit of a good thing and a giant pile of 'fucking shoot me already'.

this entire season i just stabbing me right into my most sensitive trauma memories over and over again, and i'm bleeding out on the roadside and about to be run over by a car.

#alex gets personal #ofmd2 #just. venting so my heads empty before bed #'youre not too much' they say before leaving me because i've become too much #like bro i dont even know what im doing or whats wrong with me outside of the obvious #im just a horrible person no one wants to be around apparently and i mean that 100% seriously #i carry so much pain with me and whenever it spills out during a panic attack or while crying or both #it's like trying to empty an ocean through a straw #sure you'll get a few drops #maybe even half a cup #but you still have a fucking ocean left and you know that no matter how hard you try #time is against you and you will die before you empty that bitch #ed saying i dont think anyones waiting for me is stuck in my head and i cannot get it out #i was just looping it in my mind while sobbing so hard i almost passed out </3 casual thursday night experiences

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iwoulddieforienzo · 4 months

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Something that makes reading TOA so devastating is how fucking much Apollo feels about Everything. There’s so MUCH. Like I don’t even know how to describe it to you if you haven’t read the books yourself. He has so many complicated thoughts and emotions about just about everything and he cares about everything so much and there is just SO MUCH going on in his head. And yet none of it ever reaches his mouth!!

He almost never says what he’s feeling. What little comes out of his mouth about his thoughts barely even scratches the surface of what he actually means. Like he’ll be having a long ass monologue about how incredible someone is, showing a deep understanding of them as a person and empathizing with them so hard you’d almost think it’s projection but it’s not he’s legitimately just mind melding with this random person he met like a week ago and he’s thinking the softest, kindest thoughts about them like he knows they’re fucking incredible - and what comes out of his mouth is just like, “you’re a wonderful friend :)” AND ITS LIKE. THERES SO MUCH MORE UNDER THE SURFACE. the sheer admiration and adoration he has for everyone around him……… UGHHH!!! But he never VOICES ANY OF IT!!!!!! He never tells anyone about what Zeus did to him……. He never tells anyone except the reader about his realization that Zeus is abusive…. He never even tells commodus about how much he adored him, not then and not now… he refuses to tell anyone when he’s in pain or tries to justify the things he does when he actually had Decent Reasons for why he did something… I’m. I’M. AUGH. AHHHHH

HE DOESN’T EVEN TELL US ALL OF HIS THOUGHTS IS THE THING. THERES EVEN MORE THAT HE IS NOT TELLING US!!!!! THE FUCKING OCEAN OF FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS HE HAS ABOUT EVERYTHING IS THE CLIFF NOTES VERSION. I AM IN DISTRESS.

And YET…. Even what slips out of his mouth is so fucking devastating it is SO devastating. He’s so fucking kind and gentle with Harley and Meg and and other younger Demis and his kids… he’ll act like an obstinate idiot and then turn around say something that drags the core of the person he’s talking to into the light like nail on the fucking HEAD like he reached into their soul and gave them the words to express something that they were struggling to say aloud or that they didn’t even realize about themself. Around the 2nd book he starts putting voice to some of his feelings and thoughts about others and even that tiny fucking sliver is overwhelming to the people he’s talking to bc he’s SO. AUGHHHH

#this is why ‘reading the TOA books’ fics fucking slap btw. because as embarrassing as his thoughts can be #so many of them are just incoherent screaming about how he loves everyone around him. devastating #like imagine helping out ur loser deadbeat dad who you don’t really know much about bc he’s flighty and hard to read #and finding out ‘wow he cares about us a lot more than I thought’#bc he literally almost dies to save you/your siblings and keeps following you all around everywhere #but he’s still like. your weirdo absentee dad. u don’t know hardly anything new about him other than an apparent suicidal streak #and then u find out that the whole time he was whining about chicken nuggets or whatever he was internally sobbing abt how much he loves u #and every time u were nearby he was going ‘MY BEAUTIFUL PERFECT BABY… JUST AS INCREDIBLE AS THEIR MORTAL PARENT!!!! BEAUTIFUL LIKE THE SUN!#HOW DID I EVEN MAKE SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PERFECT BABY. UNREAL. THEY CANT BE MINE!? BUT THEY ARE!!! LOOK AT THEMMM!!?!!! IM SO PROUD……#my beautiful perfect angels… all of their parents best traits and none of our worst…. I am Barely restraining myself from sobbing #i would give u the WORLD if my father wouldn’t kill me for it :(‘#and it’s like. wow. okay dad. um. would have been nice to know that when we were all dying in The War #Please Hug Me Though.#imagine being a Random Ass Demigod who didn’t go on a big special quest or something like you are literally just Some Guy #and finding out that this weirdo loser god u gave a sandwhich to or something thinks you are so fucking cool #your own parent doesn’t know ur name but Apollo knows u on sight and read ur soul within the 2 seconds yall talked and he thinks you rock #how are you supposed to respond to that.#snack time #toa #longpost

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