#if you're wondering why i haven't mentioned a wip you know it's probably because it's shelved indefinitely | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

byjillianmaria · 9 months

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So, I figured it was time for me to make a pinned post! I'm Jillian Maria, and I write queer girls in queerer situations :P Or, more specifically, I write YA fantasy and supernatural novels with sapphic protagonists! Let's get into it.

Published Books

The Songbird's Refrain Supernatural Suspense | Published September 2019

Elizabeth is rarely noticed—until she’s noticed in the worst way, by an evil witch who kidnaps and curses her. Will she find the strength to break free? Can she find the courage to even try?

Rep: Lesbian MC, bisexual LI, queer supporting cast Vibes: spooky, dramatic, hopeful Read Preview/Purchase Links | Tumblr Tag

There's Magic Between Us Fantasy Romance | Published July 2021

City girl Lydia is expecting a boring week in her grandmother’s small town of Fairbrooke. But that changes when she meets Eden, a curious girl hunting fae treasure in the forest.

Rep: Pansexual MC, queer LI, genderfluid & queer supporting cast Vibes: bright, sweet, adventurous Read Preview/Purchase Links | Tumblr Tag

Curiouser And... Fantasy Novella | Published November 2023

When Ashlyn Jones falls down the rabbit hole into a strange forest, she's determined to return home. But the longer she stays, the less she feels like she fits in the life she's left behind...

Rep: Questioning MC, queer LI, nonbinary & queer supporting cast Vibes: whimsical, morbid, bittersweet Read Preview/Purchase Links | Tumblr Tag

WIPS

These don't have official taglines or anything yet, but you'll probably hear me talking about them a bunch, so here's where to find out more about them!

To Consume Gothic horror that's been an exercise in saying, "hey, wouldn't it be upsetting if..." Closeted gets possessed by very angry sapphic ghost, violence ensues. Hoping to draft this year! Tumblr tag here.

A Colder Home Horror novel with themes of addiction and grief. Teen filmmakers get snowed in at a haunted house, and one girl finds the ghosts a little too familiar. Working on this one off and on since 2020. Tumblr tag here.

#this took a lot lol #if you're wondering why i haven't mentioned a wip you know it's probably because it's shelved indefinitely #such is the life of a writer #i try to be good about knowing which books are Ready To Talk About but sometimes i get it wrong lol

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24-05txt · 4 months

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Can I something for Lost & Found? I scroll past it in by bookmarks all the time and I'm eager for more!

Ogh, man, Lost and found... (Wip ask game!!)

See what I'm struggling with there is that I got a good bit into chapter 2 while on a flight to somewherecan'tremember and lost like. All of it. Because I closed the app for too long and the lack of connectivity ate it!!! Even though it was supposed to be fine!! Moral of the story is never trust technology (said by the IT major). Obviously my reaction was to pout about it forever.

Anyway I did get moving on chapter 2 again, but while I was sulking I wrote ahead a little bit (as I am prone to do) and thus have the content. I debated on not giving spoilers and then decided I don't care and I'm really excited to share this snippet so!!! Have some retrospective from Simon (not Ghost).

Some other info before that in case anyone is interested: I did finally decide what Ghost and Soap's relationship is in this and its [?????]. Like almost an established relationship and since this is from Ghost's pov he's obviously whipped, and if Soap isn't equally whipped then he's at least encouraging Ghost, but aside from Ghost's internal monologue of being disgustingly in love 24-7 and constantly on the verge of sloppy makeouts they still haven't kissed or anything like. Explicitly romantic. So take that as you will. I've also decided how they met/what the home situation is!! So I'm excited. They were really the only unknowns here because Simon is. Well he's an OC and also I'm playing him in a TTRPG, so I know exactly where he came from and what he's doing (trying not to die.)

Anyway, nearly 1k below the cut and aside from mentions of violence and implied neglect of a child I don't think there's anything to watch out for here :3 lmk if I'm wrong. Enjoy!

Simon tries really hard to be a good kid, is the thing.

It's not, like, a complex or anything—at least he doesn't think it is. He doesn't remember ever having it drilled into him by Dad; it's just something that has always made sense. He never understood when the twins or Maria or whatever-her-name-was hawked on Lights or Cyclops for stupid shit like their fears or looks. That's why he wasn't sad to see Maria die.

Which—okay yeah, a little fucked up, but that doesn't make him a bad kid. Maria even deserved it when Athena snapped her neck. Probably. He's not clear on the moral aspect of it, doesn't know enough about murder or homicide or whatever to pass judgment on whether or not Maria's death was just. But he's a good kid, he knows it. The adults in the community would say it all the time—his dad, too. 'You're a good kid, Simon,' whenever he picked up after himself or did his chores or won a rugby game or finished his homework. Not that he's a suck-up—was a suck-up, not that he was a suck-up. He needs to say 'was' now, since most of the adults are dead and he doesn't even know where his dad is.

But, you know, it's fine. Simon's a good kid, and he kept the house clean while his dad was away, even when the weeks stretched on long enough to make him start to wonder. Not doubt, he doesn't—didn't—doubt his dad. He's seventeen now, and he's never had that 'rebel' phase he's heard of through adults; it's sort of a point of pride—or it was sort of a point of pride. He supposes breaking into his dad's office with his friends to steal maps and old family photos counts as rebellious. So, maybe he just didn't have a rebel phase until that.

He's just also a little lost, is the issue. Literally lost, not in the metaphorical sense where he needs to go on some inner journey. He needs to find his dad. His dad, who apparently did not leave for a scouting trip and instead went looking for Simon's mom—who isn't dead, like they had both thought. At least, Simon had thought that.

He doesn't know what his dad thought anymore; his dad didn't so much as leave a note to let Simon know where he was off to. Those three weeks spent cleaning and taking care of the house in his absence feel a lot less mundane and a lot more foreboding, in retrospect. Would he have still gone to class and done his chores if he'd known what his dad was doing? Probably, because he's a good kid. (So why not tell him?)

But it probably doesn't matter now, since it's done and in the past. Lots of things about Simon's previously comfortable life are ending up in the past-tense now, simply because they no longer apply or can't apply the same way. But Simon is a good kid. Present tense. Is. Because he's still trying really hard to be one. It's harder, though, when no one is telling him what is good to do and he has to think for himself. He has to think for other people too—for Coda and Leaf and Irix and Shaq (and Lights and Tunes and Cyclops and Athena), who are all years younger than him and in need of protective guidance.

Simon's not so good at guiding—leaving the community had pretty quickly brought to his attention that he'd spent most of his life just listening to what people told him—but he can protect. He was on the rugby team, he knows how to push people around, and back when Dad would stay at home they used to go hunting, so he knows how to shoot a gun.

But that brings him back to the 'lost' issue; he can't protect any of them if they're separated. He didn't mean to get lost in the storm. He'd just wanted to help and make sure everyone got in the vehicle, didn't even know that wind could blow so strong that it'd pick him up.

Apparently it can, and it did, and he woke up on the roof of a building with scrapes on his palms and dirt in his ears, and absolutely no sense of direction. He'd cried a little, then. Maybe it was childish, but it had been a rough couple of days—between cannibals and raiders and storms (and zombies and corpses and)—so he cut himself some slack for throwing a bit of a shitfit when he discovered he'd chipped a front tooth.

(The fact that none of the girls were around to see it and all the other jocks who would have made fun of him were probably dead did briefly make him feel a little better, and then a whole lot worse.)

A day after that is when he found the soldiers—Ghost and Soap. He hadn't really met any adults with names like his peers before but for all the firsts he was having, this one barely clocked.

They were... cool. They reminded him of comic book characters with their velcro pouches and shawls and masks and sleek guns. Sure, he might’ve pointed a gun at Ghost, but he's self-aware enough to know that he wouldn't have been able to shoot—at least not while Ghost was being decent toward him. Coda and Athena have killed people, Simon hasn't. (Generally good kids don't kill people, but he has a feeling there are exceptions to the rule, so he would like to make the distinction.)

#cod:mwii #ghostsoap #fic.txt #wip #lost and found #Simon (oc)#oh also if ur curious he's like 17. Oldest in his group because the rest of them are 13-16 LMAO #these kids are in a bad way boy let me tell you #Coda is 14 iirc #Athena is 14-15?#Can't remember anyone else he mentions by name #oh Leaf is 13-14 and Shaq is 16.#Irix is also 16 #Lights tunes and cyclops i have no idea. probably 13-15. Lights is the youngest.#anything else about the group he's traveling with will come up when I fucking poST THE FIC #<3

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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paulsonsratched · 2 years

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Will you be my Queen?

Part 1: Mara

TW: cursing, mention of sexual assault, just misery

A/n: just wanted to add. THIS IS NOT ENDING WITH MINA BILLIE OR CORDELIA BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH EACH OTHER.

"I suppose sooner or later in the life of everyone comes a moment of trial.We all of us have our particular devil who rides us and torments us, and we must give battle in the end."

- Daphne Du Maurier, Rebecca

•

Slowly I dragged my body through the gates of kingdom Richmond. My limps hurt, my head was exploding and I was starving. Literally. But how did I expect to feel after weeks of traveling, barely carried by nothing but my feet. I haven't had any food these past weeks except of what the dark forest I wandered through gave me. In case I never had food.

"Sluts don't deserve food."

they would tell me. But why did it make me the slut when he was the one touching me?

Lost in my thoughts I didn't realize the people all around me staring at my death-like demeanour. She told me later that it was that exact moment, when I crossed the big bridge leading into the castle, she first got caught up on me. I'm still wondering to this day how she even took a glimpse at me. I was dirty, I was barely anything more than skin and bones and my eyes lost their sparkle. They lost it long ago. But I guess that's what true love is isn't it?

As I kept my head down, wandering through the busy crowd of the forecourt of the castle, I felt my feet slowly but surely losing all the power left in them. I dragged my body some steps more till my final limit was reached and I sunk on the floor just now realizing I had an audience all along that was now erupted in gasps and small screams. "Get some water." "Help her!" "Someone get her off the ground."

My eyes closed for a brief moment before I felt a hand touching my arm. I flinched slightly. I didn't like being touched. My head shot into the strangers direction and I was greeted by a rather friendly and warm face. "Let's get you off the dirty ground lovely."

The woman pulled me up not letting go off me the second I stood. To my luck because I definitely would have fallen. I don't even think I was completely conscious at that point.

"My name is Mara. Don't worry you're safe now."

Mara guided me in some direction. I didn't know where we were going. I also didn't know how long it took. I as well didn't care when she lifted my dress off me and put me in a wooden bathtub, scrubbing off all the dirt of my body. What I did hear was the gasp coming from her mouth when she reached my back.

"Sluts deserve punishment."

I felt how her hands got more gentle, slowly taking off as much dirt as possible from the big stripes that I wore as an accessory on my back. She didn't have to be that careful. I didn't feel pain anymore.

You know? That feeling when you already felt way too much each and every day. A real rollercoaster of madness, sadness and the small glimpses of hope just to be disappointed at the end again. The only rollercoaster that made you numb.

I was numb. I didn't feel. If anything I was even happy about the wips. They erupted tears in my eyes. They made me human.

I did not feel self conscious about my appearance with Mara. Something about her radiated an incredible warmth. Comfort. She was in her 60s but had no trouble carrying me out of the tub. She laid be down into something warm and comfortable. A bed probably. But not the kind of bed I was used to. It was soft. Feathers. Since when do workers have feather beds?

„It's gonna be okay lovely."

She said, followed by gentle rubs to my arm and shushes whenever I seemed a bit uneasy.

Lovely. That was my nickname from that very moment.

That was the first time I met Mara. Today I know she saved my life. More than ones.

Mara is responsible for everything I have right now. She was the start of my new life.

•

After some days of bed rest passed Mara entered my chamber with a small knock. The room they gave me was already more than I ever could have wished for. It wasn't big but god lord that feather bed was heavenly.

The older woman entered the room with a smile which I immediately reciprocated. Mara has one of those smiles that reached her eyes. It was genuine.

The sparkle in her eyes was accompanied by soft wrinkles. It suited her.

"Ready to see your new home?" she asked me. Oh and how ready I was. There wasn't a day I didn't annoyed the hell out of her to show me around.

After the first night she explained that she took me into the castle. The basement where the kitchen is. She said queen Wilhemina herself offered me a part as a maid. All my worries would be gone. I've got food every day, a room and a job.

In just some weeks I got all I ever wanted, just because I tried. I was lucky.

I nodded furiously which made her smile.

I jumped out of the bed and followed her around.

We first went outside into the big rose garden. She said it's one of countess Cordelia's favourite places. She would spend hours just walking around and enjoying the nature. Cordelia was the kind and gentle one of the three.

Next we wandered through the big halls of the castle. To my left and right were plenty of rooms. Some for the Queen's and Countesses personal butlers and maids, some were bathrooms bigger than I ever could have imagined and bathroom, one of them was Wilhemina's office. When we passed by the hallway I saw three of the rooms had big golden bows around them. Mara picked up on my staring quick and informed me that these rooms belonged to Wilhemina, Billie and Cordelia.

When we reached the end of the hallway Mara opened two gigantic doors. She had to put her entire weight against them to make them move at all. When they opened they uncovered a big room with multiple meter long tables. Mara explained to me that this was Countess Billie's favourite place in the castle. In this hall the biggest feasts were held. Billie was the social butterfly of the three.

When we made our way back to the basement Mara showed me around my new work place. The kitchen. She introduced me to everyone and then I started my first shift. The room was filled with laughter some of them even started singing and dancing.

So that's what's life supposed to feel like.

After a while I lost my first shy demeanor and joined everyone in dancing. I spun around myself while balancing a bunch of apples in my arms till...BAHM. I crashed into someone.

I quickly picked up all the apples that fell onto the floor while mumbling a thousands of apologies. When I raised my head again I realized everyone was bowing. I looked infront of me facing the most beautiful woman I ever saw. Mara pinched me slightly. My sign to bow as well. I let my head sink and bowed.

"Your Grace." Mara said respectfully.

„Rise up."

Everyone straightened up and immediately started their work again. But not me. Infront of me I saw the deepest and darkest brown eyes I ever got see. They were almost black. As deep as the ocean and at least exactly as mysterious. It took me one second to understand: That was Queen Wilhemina. The thoughtful one.

•

tag list: @rwoolfe (just text me to be added)

A/n: Hey there! That's the first part. I promise there will be more of Cordelia, Wilhemina and Billie in the next chapter. Just getting into it slowly. I decided to do something different with this one. I posted a detailed explanation of where I’m going with this on my Wattpad (same name) in case you’re interested. Victorian Style.

#american horror story #sarah paulson #fanfic #wilhemina venable #wilhemina venable x reader #billie dean howard #ahs fandom #billie dean howard x reader #sarah paulson x reader #ahs fanfiction #cordelia goode #billie dean x reader #cordelia goode x reader #wilhemina venable fanfic #wilhemina venable x billie dean howard x reader #ally mayfair richards #billie dean howard x wilhemina venable x reader

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scary-senpai · 1 year

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🌝 + 🧠 (Doesn't have to be exclusively for OPM necessarily, although I prob won't know what you're talking about for other fandoms, lol)

Gahh! Thank you so much for asking <3 you are the best.

🌝 Who is one character you haven’t yet written for that you would like to?

this was difficult to answer because for better or worse, a lot of my writing ideas appear as intrusive thoughts when I should be doing other things. there really isn’t a character that interests me that I haven’t written for in some way/shape/form, even if I haven’t published it yet, especially within the OPM-verse.

I think I'd like to do a bit more with Mumen Rider. I think Mumen tends to appear in fic as an Author’s Darling, almost—and for the record, I do this also--if I need a sweet, upstanding cinnamon role to always say the right thing at exactly the right time, I'll use Mumen Rider (like when he's giving Garou parenting advice in Holiday Hijinks).

Anyway, I imagine him like this although in canon, his decisions are ostensibly selfless but still somewhat questionable (and I joke a little bit about this in The Hero Association's First and Final Festivus, when Mumen attempts to do a self-deprecating standup routine in front of his colleagues.) The first rule of emergency response, for example, is "stay in your lane, and don't create more work for the rescue team." Also, he attacked Garou first, from behind. (oh man, when I went back and read the manga after watching the anime, I wrote 'Mumen rider struck first????' on a big ole post-it note because I thought I was reading it wrong).

I think a lot of the sweetest, kindest people have spent a lot of time fighting their inner shadows, because (like we see in Mob Psycho), kindness is a muscle that has to be actively exercised and mindfully developed, and it’s also a muscle that fatigues. So I'd like to see Mumen Rider grappling with how to be a good person. I've thought about this, but I haven't figured out a way to execute it quite yet—whenever I try, he just comes out too similar to the way I write Garou. Probably I will figure it out after spending a bit more time in Mumen's head.

Anyway, if I were ever to write a Mumarou fic, it would be either the sweetest thing ever or the absolute darkest thing ever. I would also like to write a crossover where Mumen is actually Gojo Satoru, this massively over-powered and insufferable character widely considered by his community to a kind of "Chosen One," who, having spent an entire lifetime living under intense and overwhelming pressure, just wants to bike around and touch grass and rescue cats from trees and maybe lose a fight once in awhile, knowing that Saitama's got his back. Gojo's Cursed Technique (magical power) requires him to cover his eyes most of the time, and he has very distinctive features so this could easily work in an AU where we never see Mumen Rider without his biker gear.

🧠 What’s an idea you have that you can’t quite call a WIP yet?

Okay, funny you should ask that question, Bestie, because I might ask for your help with this one day. It's an OPM / welcome-to-nightvale crossover:

I use Discord to keep tabs on my WIP notes, and these are literally the only notes I have. Here's a transcription/translation because these notes are somewhat incomplete

Garou taking Tareo to the library for books. Garou saying it will be fun, libraries (“you mean books?” “Books too but mostly libraries”) are fun but also incredibly [[Note: apparently I did not finish this sentence, which is a problem I have often]]

Opening is sweet but then maybe vague mention of “librarian repellent” (Tareo wonders why Garou doesn’t bring any). Garou says “like a librarian would get me down” [[Note: basically, the first scene would be a bait-and-switch, playing around with irony and what most people would picture when tasked with imagining two kids visiting the library]]

When Garou and Tareo arrive, Genos is just very calmly in the library fighting off librarians. Saitama came because he’s bored. or he’s on a quest to not come home with his memory wiped, holding 33 copies of Helen Hunt’s biography. “You too, huh?” Garou says [[Note: this is a frequent occurrence in Nightvale]]

Anyway, for those of you unfamiliar with Welcome to Nightvale, here's what the Nightvale Library is all about:

The Night Vale Public Library is a notable landmark in Night Vale, although there is widespread dissatisfaction with the library among the town's citizens. Its available public computers are outdated and slow, they provide a lending period of only fourteen days, and the Biography section contains nothing but 33 copies of the official biography of Helen Hunt. There have been reports of a faceless spectre who roams through the Biography section, bringing visitors to an untimely end. Cecil expresses his desire for the City Council to make some serious changes to the library, "or I may find myself hoping that the faceless spectre puts the library to the same mysterious, violent end as its many victims."

Unidentifiable black metallic trees suddenly appeared by the library back in June, causing all airborne objects above 30 feet to catch fire. They were cleared away to make room for a new strip mall and parking lot.

It's creepy. It's weird. It's got books—Garou would love this, and he would have certainly survived the summer reading program.

The Summer Reading Program was is was an annual event held at the Night Vale Public Library in a group of kids and teenagers are trapped in the library and possibly forced to learn.

It was abolished around 1983 following an incident known only as "The Time of Knives." During the 2013 program, fourteen students between the ages of 5 and 17 were kidnapped by librarians and trapped in the library. The number later grew to nearly 100 children and teens before the program officially began that day. It was during this event that Tamika Flynn, 12-years-old at the time, battled librarians for the first time. Her triumph established her combat and leadership skills, and the severed head of the librarian served as a reminder of her battle in the summer reading program of 2013.

To promote the 2013 event, posters were placed around town, unbeknownst to the stores they were put on. Some of them read:

- Get into a good book this summer We are going to force you into a good book this summer - You are going to get inside this book, and we are going to close it on you and there is nothing you can do about it

All with the tagline "Catch the flesh-eating reading bacterium!"

Truly, the Summer Reading Program Garou needs and deserves. I've got a decent amount of headcanon but no real plot.

Thank you so much for asking! these are always fun to do.

(original post is here--the ask is still open, I always love talking about my fics, haha)

#one punch man #opm #garou #garou opm #mumen rider #opm fanfic #welcome to nightvale #wilf #(work i'd like to finish)#asks #ask game #splendiferous mutuals #i asked my brain to produce serotonin and all i got were these stupid headcanons

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quinnharperwrites · 1 year

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List of WIPS

Here are some unposted WIPs that I have previously worked on <3

1900 Christmas Eve - This one is short. Most of the others are not. XD

It’s Christmas Eve, 1900, in a tatty apartment in New York City. The apartment is adorned with a small scraggly sparsely decorated tree, a threadbare rug, a scuffed coffee table, and a couch with cushions deflated by time. It probably daily reminds them of how poor they are.

Snow Day - satirical mentions of kidnapping and the black market

You put your foot down on the ground. It immediately sinks, and suddenly, the whole area from your foot to your knee is submerged in snow. You wonder why you have to go on this search mission. You know that everyone knows that Kyle and Skye can take care of themselves. Just because they didn't come home doesn't mean that they are in trouble. It's the morning after a blizzard. Maybe they stopped at a motel or something. However, when you tried to voice your opinion to the team, Kyle's sister Nielle came up with a really obnoxious story. She said, "What if they got abducted by a poor logger who then sold them on the black market so that he could have enough cash to throw his daughter a party for her 6th birthday?" Now everyone had to pair up and look for them. Nobody wanted to be partners with you--this you knew. Everyone was at least 16, but you're only 14. You think. The years blur after your mother dropped you off at a boarding school and left. After the school kicked you out, you don't know how long you were on the streets before Kyle, Jason, Zander, and Colvin found you. It turned out their teacher was your uncle, so they tracked you down and took you in. You're practically a child, with an attention span shorter than Kyle's temper. You got paired up with Jason, much to his dismay. Sometimes you don't know what goes on in your head. Or why you think certain things. Like using Jason as a human sled after nobody let you take one along. After you did it, you instantly felt guilty. You keep apologizing and apologizing. Jason claims he's fine, but he is now walking beside you instead of in front of you. You know that you are like the baby of the family. Even though you are probably stronger than them, they always protect you. Colvin, Zander, Glitch, Kyle, Jason, Nielle, and your uncle Wade. It's a crazy family--Zander and Glitch are robots! From the outside, your lives seem perfect, but Colvin's mom died, Kyle and Nielle just found their parents after they were kidnapped and missed the lives of their children, and Jason was adopted. You don't like to talk about it, but everyone knows that you have it the worst. But there is nothing you can do about it. Just because life gave you a bad hand doesn't mean you can't be cheerful at all times, you like to say. So you always try to put a smile on your face. Sometime later, Jason gets a call from Nielle saying that Kyle just called her, saying that he just came home. You groaned when Jason relayed the info to you. Surprise, surprise, you had been right the whole time. This means you just wasted your time walking for hours away from home on this ten-thousand-below-zero day. Other than the human sled fiasco, you didn't get to play in the snow at all. From the look on Jason's face, you know that he came to the same realization. He gets a sheepish look on his face. You just hope there would still be snow tomorrow. But for now, all you want to do is sit by the fireplace and drink hot cocoa while watching a movie. It's a miracle to you that you haven't frozen solid yet. It is at this moment that you realize that the sun is in the far west. You're exhausted. You trudge closer to Jason and drop your head on his shoulder. Despite the cold, bitter wind, you feel yourself falling asleep. You aren't sure, but you think you feel yourself getting picked up as Jason says, "Just this once, Greenbean. Just this once."

Dauntless

Dauntless, happy, uncompassionate, unsympathetic Lover of bizarre, grotesque, and revels Who believes he can escape death Who feels safe, protected, and secure Who wants to be immune, throw parties, and have fun Who gives nothing, nada, and zilch Who says “ Seize him and unmask him—that we may know whom we have to hang!" Prospero

RIP Plants - this one was so long I have to link the document

In Which HE is a SHE - Mentions of murder, insane asylums, and implied psychopathy

You stare across the room, all white, bright lights. You know they can see you. They've put on a face, pretend that they have control. They think that they can hold you, suppress you, contain you. They assumed that if they put you in a straitjacket and tossed you in this room, you would do nothing. How dare they assume that you do nothing. They thought they could fool you. But they just fooled themselves. You can see through their brave front. They believe that they have control; they're wrong. You are in control. And if they think you'll stay quiet, stay contained, they're in for a treat.

You aren't a mindless cold-blooded murderer; you are an artist. But they can't see that. They think you are dumb because you got caught. Little do they know that they gave you a shortcut to victory. They don't know your plan. You're patient, oh so very patient. You'll have to wait just a little longer.

In the meantime, you can think about your plans. You need a new victim, maybe one of those police officers who apprehended you? No, no. Perhaps you'll pick one of those dancers off the stage. Tempting, but no. You have to stick with the plan, follow the pattern. You have to kill a victim in this asylum. Moreover, it would take a while to entice outsiders inside.

You know that this is a weird asylum; they don't do things the way they should. You smirk; that'll be their downfall. You require an opportunity, a distraction. One so great that you can slip out without anyone noticing before it's too late. You already have it planned, of course. Your inside man is going to pull the alarm, the fire alarm. They'll lead everyone out, including you. You'll wait until your two escorts lead you to a private place. Then you'll kick one in an open room, then quickly barricade it. You'll walk up slowly to the other, too terrified to move. You'll put your hand on his shoulder, the other on his head. The worker will know what's coming; the worker will squint his eyes in expectation. You'll snap his neck, then swap clothes. It'll be easier to sneak out now.

Once outside, you'll slip away. By the time the others finally notice you're gone, find the body, and free the worker, it'll be too late. You'll be far away, already constructing a new base hidden from the rest of society.

But for now, you stare across the room, all white, bright lights. You can see through their brave front. They believe that they have control; they're wrong. You are in control. Then you hear a commotion from behind the white doors. You smile. The fun has just begun.

You climb the hill, donned in the asylum uniform. The wind blows, your long hair flowing in the wind. You think back to the day's earlier events. Putting women's clothes on a man's body had been rather difficult, but you managed to get it done. Most would've skipped it, but you always like to be thorough. You raise your hand to brush back your hair, then freeze. Upon looking closer, you notice one of your perfectly manicured nails got chipped. They'll pay for that.

#writing wip #long reads #long post #writers on tumblr #writing #content writing #writeblr #freelance writer

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pink-booty-butts · 1 year

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🥮 🍘 🍙 (also ur great thank u for ur time)

Omg anon thank you so much for responding!! And omg you're the sweetest!! You're great too anon!! I bet you're amazing and wonderful!! <33

🥮 Do you have any writing milestones you're working toward?

Ooh this is such a great question!! When I first started writing fanfiction for this blog, my goal was to post one fic a week. I've definitely slacked on that, especially since I got discouraged a while ago and haven't written in a hot minute (i'm so sorry guys!!). But one of my goals is to hopefully get back to that! I'm going to attempt to ease back into that so I don't burn myself out, but watch me post like 5 billion fics over spring break lmao

One of my other goals, I suppose this is more short term, is to hopefully post a fic for each of the boys I haven't written for once I finish the requests in my inbox! I'm hoping maybe this will make things more interesting for you guys, or maybe encourage a bit more interaction? Not to sound like an attention whore but highkey I LOVE talking to you guys cos you're all awesome!! So I'm really hoping if I add more variety to my content, you guys will enjoy it more and maybe feel more comfortable saying stuff!

🍘 Is there a fic or idea for a fic that you've abandoned?

Yeah definitely!! I wouldn't say they're abandoned necessarily because I do intend to go back and finish all of them at some point, but currently I have like 3 Ariel fics in my WIP folder where I kinda wrote myself into a corner and I abandoned them because I didn't know how to keep the story going haha. I also have one for Jamie and a chronically ill reader which I wrote before Lying in Laundry, but at the time I thought it was a little awkwardly written so I ended up scrapping it and writing that fic instead. After re-reading it honestly I think it's not that bad and I kinda wanna post it, but I probably need to change some bits I ended up using in Lying in Laundry so they're more different!

As for fic ideas, probably the only one that comes to mind is one on my ideas list about the Reader sending Jamie articles about having a massive dick (lmao hear me out before you judge me!!). That idea was born from seeing articles that literally had titles like "my dick is too big and it ruined my life". There's also a tv special on Channel 4 called "my massive cock" and it's about guys who have dicks that are too big and it causes problems like finding a job and that kind of stuff (i actually haven't watched it, but tbh i probably will to get inspo for this fic lmao).

I still really wanna write something for it because I think it'd be hilarious, but I probably need to think of a bit more substance/a scenario to add to it because as it stands right now it'd probably be a super short fic if I wrote it haha. Also in the Baynton Babes server we always talk about how Jamie has the biggest dick so it seems really fitting for him :p

🍙 Is there a fic you wish had gotten more attention?

I answered this one here! But I would say the fic in the #2 spot is probably Lying in Laundry.

I assume it could be because that fic was too similar to some of the other Jamie fics I've written. I mentioned this in the other post answering these questions but I do try to re-read my fics to avoid this. I think when I was writing this one and re-reading the others I was worried it was too similar/boring, so that's probably part of why it didn't do so great haha

Also I think it probably didn't get that much attention because mentioning "chronically ill reader" in the title probably turned some people off haha. I knew that would probably happen even before I posted it, but I did try to make the reader's chronic illness not a major focal point (i think it's mentioned like once and that's it haha) so it would still be relatable to those without one so it lowkey hurt my feelings lmao </3

But I'm chronically ill and I know there's a few other people in this fandom who are as well, so even if they don't get as much attention as my other fics I will probably still post chronically ill reader fics every now and then because it's important to me for the chronic illness gang to get some representation, even if it's just on my little baby corner of the internet :p

Thank you again for your questions anon!! I appreciate you!! <3

#ask game #anon <3 #i have so many thoughts for ariel x chronically ill reader :p #but since he's like lowkey my husband im probs biased lmaoo #anyways tysm for the questions anon!!#these are so fun! i love doing them!! <3

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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paimonial-rage · 1 year

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i've never used ff.net before, but i get that feeling of people interacting with your fic from ages ago. i used to write on wattpad and i occasionally get emails of activity. boggles my mind.

i love Sharing A Drink They Call Loneliness. the title itself is already chef's kiss. i mentioned in my tags that reader is a great foil for zhongli. teaching him that a life forgotten is not a life wasted is so interesting, especially for someone who lived for thousands of years and has mentioned concerns of stories being lost to time. there is an ounce of truth in it for a human: just because they are forgotten it didn't mean they didn't live their life wastefully.

kind of jealous at people who can just "hear" characters in their head. i have a lot of difficulty with that but maybe i haven't put enough effort? i can vouch that your dialogue is entertaining, kekek. is there a specific reason why you can't write kaeya?

you're right about vilifying people who have hurt you. life is never that simple as much as we want it to be. not that oversimplification is bad, but oversimplification without acknowledgment of complexities is just wishful thinking--to me. i think that's also the area of mental illness people can't romanticise, so it's rarely talked about even though such mental states and its effects are very real.

you briefly mentioned writing a thoma x reader exploring this theme and i am so down bad for it. i AGREE. i've shared this with my friends but thoma is very lucky he found himself in a loving family. his sense of loyalty can go so wrong in bad hands, and i don't think the kamisatos are that innocent either. i mean, hyv probably want to portray them as such, but fanfiction is transformative work for a reason, haha.

omg 4 goals... i wish you all the best with yae's fic. it's definitely a double-edge sword not having a clear picture of what you're going to write. may 2023 be a year we finish a portion of our wips, haha. -- @milkstore

It just boggles me. Why are people reading fics from so long ago? Are they that deprived of cringe content??? I don’t have any works on Wattpad though… which probably is a good thing. There’s a lesser chance of them being found on a dying site… :’)

And despite whatever I say, Sharing a Drink They Call Loneliness is actually my favorite fic. I love having convos like that with my friends. You’re completely right about reader being a foil. Whenever I see Zhongli, I always felt that like… he needs a friend, one that only knows him as Zhongli, and one that can give a different frank point of view. I’m excited to write the companion piece to that one, But It’s Better Than Drinking Alone. But I’m still trying to work out everything in my head. It takes place after his second character quest.

While I can hear character’s voices in my head, I’m definitely not the best at figuring out how they’ll even respond in the first place. If I know how they’ll respond, I can figure out how they’ll word their response. For Kaeya, I NEVER know how he’ll respond to things. So reading your Kaeya fics, it’s just so fascinating. You write him in a way that has me like, “I WOULD HAVE NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!!!!” It’s so in character. I love it!

And you’re completely right about the oversimplifying without addressing the complexities. With mental illness too, it’s easy for people to whine about how much it affects them, but it’s rare people look at the effect their mental illness(es) have on others. Or at look at it objectively and not in the eyes of “oh I hate myself so much I’m a burden :’((((((“

For that Thoma story I want to write, you’re completely right. I don’t think the Kamisatos are as innocent as they make them out to be. I feel Ayaka is aware of everything, but Ayato… Have you ever read his line about preferring dogs? I’m sure all of his servants and the Shuumatsuban are extremely loyal, but I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to be raised like that. Children naturally want praise and they’ll try their best to achieve it. So to devote their life so loyally only to be treated as nothing better than a dog in the end. And then on top of that for such a favored position of housekeeper and close confidant to be given to a foreigner? I imagine it’d break a person.

And thank you for the best wishes!!! Not having a clear view is killing me. I may write it and then put in a deleted scene…… Idk…. orz DO YOUR BEST TOO.

Answering two asks in this haha

I know right??? People that can write a full story with only a few words… It’s a power that I do not possess. Especially one that has a very satisfying ending and achieves the right level of emotional impact. Even though you deleted your Kaveh fic, I really loved the way you illustrated the reader’s mental state. You didn’t state it clearly, but painted the scene clearly of anxiety-induced stagnancy and how it gets worse the more you stay stagnant.

I really need to do research on romance tho haha. Like… When I first started writing that Zhongli fic, people sent messages wanting there to be romance and I remember sitting there like… “I didn’t write this with romance in mind….” Honestly I have a hard time seeing him pursue a romance with a mortal, let alone any romance in the first place. As of right now, I still am not sure how I want it to end or if I’m capable of having it have a more intimate end. I’ll have to just see where it takes me. orz

And thank you for the offer for beta reading! I actually will take you up on that. I just need to find the time to message you. I swear I have a discord but I always forget to hop on it. I know I said I’d message you a while back, but I still plan on doing it!!!! I just have to get over the fear of sending a message and being like, “Hello, sorry my wips are a tangled mess…. :’))))” I’m just shy lol orz

You mentioned love triangles in your reply to my ask and like… Harems and love triangles are on the same level for me. I will respect your right to torture yourself with harems. LOL I’ve actually lowkey seen a harem irl for myself and like… In love triangles and harems, the person everyone falls in love with are always clueless, but like… THAT JUST AIN’T REALISTIC IRL. Those people know exactly what they’re doing. They just like the attention too much to give it up.

…

That being said… That being said……….. When I see those things happening irl, I don’t really care. I can interact with all of those people just fine. They’re all usually very fun people. But somehow when it is in written format, my brain just explodes and I just, “AAUUUGHGHGHGHGH”

#anon #ask #this took so long aaaaaa #also i forgot to mention that i saw the same tweet and was like #'oh thank god i'm not the only one'#i heard that in the other translations he's not as harsh though so like.......#hopefully someone posts the differences eventually so i can get a more accurate opinion

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bonesandthebees · 2 years

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Hello Stranger. I'm sending you some numbers. 9, 17, 31.

firesnap!!! hello stranger!! :D

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

Not really but I also love the idea of going ghost hunting and would still probably get spooked because I'm a pussy when it comes to stuff like that lol

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

OHHHH FIRESNAP YOU'RE JUST BEGGING ME TO TALK ABOUT STARS RN... Eldingvegr as a planet has so much worldbuilding that I'm either not going to get to mention till later in the text, or just not at all considering most of the story doesn't take place on the planet. For one thing, I've hinted at this in the text so far but haven't stated it outright, but Eldingvegr is tidally-locked meaning it doesn't spin! aka, there's no day or night cycle. The majority of the population lives in Røkkrring, aka the 'twilight band' where the day and night sides meet, hence why every time I describe the sky it's a pinkish purple color because they live in a perpetual twilight. The day side of the planet is called Sólsid and is a burning hot desert. Very few people live there, except there are a few small groups that have learned how to survive in that environment. The night side is called Nóttsid and is an icy wasteland perpetually kept in darkness, except it's much more populated than Sólsid is because that's where the largest deposits of blaziphane are located, so there's a lot of mining settlements on that side of things. still, the population is extremely tiny compared to the population in the Røkkrring.

(also, there's a constant breeze between the day and night side because of the sharp temperature gradient. the windy season is caused by the planet's orbit moving it closer to its sun in one part of the year, thus increasing the temperature on Sólsid and making the temperature difference between Sólsid and Nóttsid even more drastic than it usually is, hence creating the extremely strong winds seen in the season)

this is already too long but, like, I have so much more worldbuilding for Eldingvegr, but also Themis and Zephys IV as well that I won't even get into rn but just. aaaaaa I have so much worldbuilding for the stars and their children it's insane (if anyone wants to learn more about it i will GLADLY start infodumping so)

31. Write a short love letter to your readers.

To all my readers,

You guys are absolutely amazing for all the insane love you've given me over the past... god, almost a year? I guess almost a year, yeah. Holy shit, I've been at this for a while. I've never been considered 'famous' in a fandom before and it's been such a fun ride, knowing that I'll have an audience for whatever crazy new au idea I come up with next is just so wonderful and gives me the chance to just explore so many different types of stories. I'm writing solely for my own enjoyment because I know I have a dedicated group of readers, so I don't have to worry about making things just for the sake of popularity. Idk it's just very freeing to me to know that people genuinely love my work and get as much enjoyment out of reading it that I get out of writing it, and it inspires me to keep going and keep creating to my heart's content, so thank you guys <3

writer ask game!

#ask #firesnap #ask game #the stars and their children #bones writes

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allsassnoclass · 2 years

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5, 9, 14, 20, 30, 39, & 44 for the writing asks? -megs 💙

@igarbagecannoteven hi megs! thanks for stopping by!

5. What are your fanfic pet peeves? Do they have a huge effect on whether or not you decide to read something? I don't like first person pov for fic, and i think it's because when i already have such a clear view of who the characters are in my head, having an intimate viewpoint like that makes it a lot more apparent when the writer and i have different characterizations, so i'm not likely to read a fic in first person pov. in this fandom specifically i have strong opinions about characterizations of luke (don't like when he's written as overly ditsy or like a baby who can't take care of himself) and if the rest of the fic is great and luke is a background character i can handle it, but otherwise i'll click out of fics like that. there's too much other fic in this fandom for me to read two-dimensional characters and unfortunately he's the one that i disagree with characterizations of the most. also, at this point i need the spaces between the paragraphs on ao3. i know that normal books are not published like that but for some reason on my computer it's a lot more overwhelming if the spacing between paragraphs is the same as the spacing between lines and i'll click out of a fic over that

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community. ahhhh i was kind of hoping no one would ask this one just because i don't think i read the underrated/unknown fic writers! the vast majority of the fics i read are by people i follow on tumblr or other pretty well-known names (although i have been looking at the 5sos tag on ao3 a lot more recently!) but! here are a few newer fandom writers who i've read!

@4thbrighteststar has a wonderful luke character study

@babush-cat has such fun ideas and dynamics!

i'll be honest i haven't read anything by @bandsanitizer yet but i'm so enthusiastic about her fic exchange fic that on premise alone i'm saying she's underrated as a writer

14. Do you have a personal word minimum that you hold yourself too? Why or why not? I do! for ask box prompts it's 750, for ao3 fics it's 1k. i am not the kind of person who can tell a good story in less words than that. some people can (you're actually the person who comes to mind first) but i simply can't. it usually takes around 1k for me at the bare minimum, but if i'm writing an ask box prompt i won't push it just because for me prompts are less pressure and have lower standards

20. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process? probably moments when things come together! whether it's coming up with a really satisfying detail in an idea, finally writing a scene i've been looking forward to, or writing the last sentence of a wip and feeling good and final about it, i really like moments where it feels like i'm doing something right.

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

some words that i wrote while answering these!

“Got a hot date?” she asks when he lets her in, gently removing her shoes.

“Ah, no,” he says, bringing a hand up to adjust his hair again. “Just a friend’s night. Well, Luke and Ashton are dating, but It’s not a double date, or anything.”

Oh no, is this supposed to be a double date? No, it’s not. Surely that would’ve been mentioned explicitly if it was, right? Calum’s not going into this expecting a double date, is he?

No, of course not. He’s massively overthinking this and he hasn’t even left the house yet.

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on? that it makes sense! i feel like the choices that characters make and the way that events unfold makes sense in my stories rather than coming from out of the blue or having a bunch of loose ends that don't do anything, and I like that

44. Rant about something writing related. oh hm. well. geez i'm struggling with a topic lol let's see. i think i am frustrated with the amount of words that some stories take! i'm very bad at judging how many words a fic will be but i think it's stupid that a lot of my ideas take over 20k of words in order for me to properly execute them! i don't have time to write that many words! i don't have the focus for it! some people don't have the focus to read it! i also hate when i'm writing something and i'm like "oh i'm going to do this in 6k it'll be fine" and it's at least 10k, or it's a 15k fic that i thought was going to be 10k, or (the worst offender) when it's a fic that should've been no more than 3k and is instead 6k!!!! the differences in words there may not seem like much to some people but with the rate that i write and the fact that i rarely can stick to one wip for more than a few days in a row means that every word over what i anticipate is a decent amount of time until the fic gets finished. if fics were the number of words i initially predicted they'd be i'd have 3 more fics published by now, and those are just the ones i'm thinking of off the top of my head. idk maybe i also want some ideas that take less words lol i would love to write more fics in the 4k-12k range because those wordcounts are the ones i typically enjoy reading most but i simply seem incapable of not adding other words and descriptions and building the relationship more which takes more scenes and. you get the idea. etc etc etc.

#ask #megs #igarbagecannoteven #i had a WHOLE rant typed out about people misrating fics #and then i realized that was a reading rant and not a writing rant #also flipping back a few questions #i was on alison's ao3 profile yesterday i'm getting to her fics soon i just have an order for reading the fic exchange ones #so i can keep track #also i want to read her 911 fics as well #this got me to add 400 words to one of my wips thank you megs!!! i'm satisfied with that!!!!!!!!!!!#the wip that i added words to is the one that was supposed to be 6k and is now going to be at least 10k. rip #do you know how i know that. it's already at 7k and there's at least two more scenes #i'm just sick of big ideas i don't have the focus for them #i can't stick with one idea for that long it's very very difficult for me to do that #anyway! thanks for asking megs hope you're having a good writing-filled day!

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puddygeeks · 3 years

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Hello! First of all, I hope you have a nice day and that the sun will shine and your flowers will bloom - in case you have any - and that life treats you kind. Second of all, I want to tell you thank you. I haven't spend much time on your blog (yet) BUT I've read all your one shots/imagines/whatever they're actually called from The 100 as well as all published chapters of Partners in Crime (I hope that's the title of your John Murphy WIP, I'm sorry but sometimes I confuse them...) and I sincerly love the story. I am even in love with your writing style. I guess you've been doing stuff like this for a long time already (that or you're a natural, maybe both ;)), but you have your own writing style, very unique but likeable. You don't dive into unnecessary detaills too much, but you manage to pick the right describtions in the right moments. Additionally, you masterd the ability of describing a character's emotions without naming the emotions, and you leave the reader yearning for more. You don't just simply give us the kiss at the best first moment, no, you make the characters (and us) work for it. Anticipation and patience are the keys! Additionally, I like that Cassidy is not the usual The 100 OC - she's not exceptionally strong or strong-willed. It's more like the opposide, yet very realistic. You know what I mean? She doesn't drop her very plausible behaviour right away just because her (possible) love interest appears out of nowhere. It's a slow character development just like it's supposed to be. Also, I like Murphy's wit. Absolutely sounds like Murphy from the show and yet it's refreshing. I think you manage to portray all characters very authentic and realistic and just as they are, not as OOCs. By the way, I got a question to your story: Did you read the books and that's where your plot comes from or did you just create your own plot within the original? Because I'm pretty sure at least the hunting trip from chapter 11 as well as Zoey are never mentioned in the show. If you did come up with it yourself, you got my deepest respect because that's a whole other class of fantasy/imagination/own creativity. Also, I just wanna let you know that it's okay to feel overwhelmed. It's okay to take a step back and maybe put some WIPs on hold or give up on them completely. After all, you're giving this to us for free while you give up your precious time to write it. You should do it for yourself, first and foremost, and not to please the audience. If you lose the interest or just don't feel motivated or whatever, it's alright to take a step back and handle your emotions. Do what YOU want to do and feel like doing. I'd be sad if you'd stop writing completely (and I'd be sad if you left Partners in Crime unfinished), but as I said before and will repeat as much as neccessary: Do what you want to do. We're in no position or right to force you into anything else. You should enjoy the process just as much as the finished product.

This being said, I still hope you have a nice, wonderful, sunny day and are being treated kind and with respect wherever you may be. I bet you're gonna hear something from me again. Thank you.

Oh my goodness, thank you so much for this! This honestly just brought me to tears. I’ve never had such a heartfelt and wonderful response to my writing, so thank you for taking the time to send this, especially now when I am feeling deflated.

I’ve actually been writing since I was little and always had a love for it, but only really committed to it in the last couple of years. I’m glad you love my style, it’s always evolving and I do try to always be open to learning so that means a lot. I always love the suspense of two characters falling in love, sometimes even more than when they finally get together! That’s probably why I’ve always fallen into the “slow burn” category of teasing my readers with lots of almost moments and making them wait forever before anything happens 😂

Cassidy is absolutely very different to most characters, even for me. Most of the time my OCs are very fiesty and overpowering, so it’s been interesting to write someone so timid. I’ve also had the best time developing her and Murphy’s relationship and figuring out how they compliment each other considering how opposite their personalities are.

It makes me so happy to hear that you feel the characters are in character, especially Murphy! Most of my editing is spent re-writing his dialogue to keep it as sharp witted as he is, so I’m so excited to hear that it works! I have my wonderful beta @cheriesbucky to thank for helping me to keep everyone in character. I will also mention that Zoey is actually her OC who she assists in writing for my story 😊

I’ve actually never read the books, but I might once I eventually finish the show. All of the new plots are original works of mine, based on the journey that I wanted Cassidy to take and also making her and Murphy’s relationship develop naturally, instead of being forced into the confines of the show. In fact, I can imagine that a lot of the story to come will be AU as although I would like to keep a lot of the major events that shape Murphy into the loveable cockroach that we all know, there are some things that don’t fit with my vision for the two of them.

I honestly try to stick to writing for myself. Fortunately I still have a lot of love for my 100 stories and OCs. It’s important for me to stick to my own vision for them, even if I don’t think that my readers will like some of the things they do or say. I feel like what makes my OCs interesting is that they are different from the majority and though I’m sure that is part of the reason that my readership is on the smaller side, I’d rather be true to them.

Thank you again for all of your kind words. I can’t adequately explain how much they have warmed my heart and motivated me. You’ve recharged my inspiration more than you can know. I’ll be writing another chapter of Partners In Crime tomorrow especially for you 🖤

Lots of love

Puds

#fanfiction #fanfic #oc #writing #cw #the 100 fanfiction #john murphy #the 100 #Cassidy Ballard #john murphy the 100 #John murphy fanfiction #dailyjmurphy

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hoochieblues · 3 years

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100 Days of Writing: Day 67

How do you get through the fire swamp?

for @the-wip-project

Honestly, I'll tell you when I know...? I haven't really had any experiences like in the original post, where it's a repeated experience that I hated every book when I was doing it (apart from some forays into genres or house styles I did not like doing) ... generally if there was an issue where a story was hard to write, something was up with it, either because I screwed up somewhere, or due to personal reasons.

Personal under cut; some mild abuse mentions?

If I've ever had a really hard time working through something, either the characters were off, the plot had a problem, or I had what I've seen referred to as a 'writing injury' - either burnout or negative associations with the process of writing that had become untenable for any number of reasons (in my case, ranging from financial issues and pressure, abuse at home, massive disconnect between what I was writing and what I was comfortable producing/marketing, and so on...) to a degree so extreme that I felt horrible about something I'd once been proud of and enthused by.

There are also challenges in terms of health and fatigue but, generally, if I was having such negative patterns every time, that would be really abnormal for me. That's something that occurs with, for example, regular editing jobs where I proof books in genres I really don't jive with.

What I do get most often is less a fire swamp and more a cold and desolate desert of indecision.

Like, rn I have (under a separate pen name) a series of fetish romances on the back boiler. The first one went great and got a lovely reception from the six people out there who actively read femdom. I was so delighted.

I'm currently completely goddamn stuck on the start of the series I was testing the water for, partly due to - TMI incoming - some gnarly shit in my personal life around relationships that affected how I see myself and my confidence in myself (kinky or otherwise) , partly due to Hooch's Continuing Adventures in Therapy (woop woop), and partly - probably most significantly - due to plotting myself into a corner with a macguffin that just stubbornly won't work.

I've been stuck on it for months, largely thanks to a depressive episode over the summer, and while that's a fabulous thing about self-publishing - you're fucking up no one's timetable but your own - it's still frustrating, and it's very lonely when you are doing it all alone.

I have very few writing buddies to start with, and literally nobody for the very classy plot-heavy I swear femdom smut so it's a real challenge. And I say that as the same person currently wading back into fandom to revamp about 500k of years-old fics for fun (why yes, I question myself often) after being stuck in a ~7year fire swamp of not being able to write either at all or 'for fun' because of ill health, work, other obligations/complete breakdown and processing all the nonsense I've cheese-and-whined about here before.

So, in short.... I don't know? I know what I'm trying to do, which is a) not be annoyed by or envious of people (no shade on the original post that was referenced in today prompt, this is my baggage entirely) who say 'I get through things thanks to my great support network!' - that's wonderful and I'm pleased for you, just slightly frustrated - and b) trying to be more compassionate to myself and allow that yes, sometimes I need time off. I need to heal, relax, breathe, and refill the creative well, to borrow @barbex's excellent phrase.

And that's okay. That's not something to be ashamed of or feel guilt or pressure over. I've had a lot going on, as anyone who's followed even a few of my long, rambling, and over-sharing posts will attest to. (I owe you all cookies. :) )

If it takes me a week, a month, a year, or longer, I will make it out of the swamp and/or desert on my own time. It's not unfamiliar terrain. I've lived here before and I packed rations and a teflon tent. I'm not worried.

Just... maybe this time I'll make notes on the map about what works and what doesn't, and aim for a shorter path.

#100daysofwriting #writeblurble #personal #long post #i had three hours sleep and when i tried to nap i woke up to the smell of burning hair and thought i was having a stronk #but it turned out the farrier had arrived and was hot shoeing directly outside my front door #sooo.... behold my word salad #sorry about that

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