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nellasbookplanet · 2 months

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Book recs: black science fiction

As february and black history month nears its end, if you're a reader let's not forget to read and appreciate books by black authors the rest of the year as well! If you're a sci-fi fan like me, perhaps this list can help find some good books to sink your teeth into.

Bleak dystopias, high tech space adventures, alien monsters, alternate dimensions, mash-ups of sci-fi and fantasy - this list features a little bit of everything for genre fiction fans!

For more details on the books, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites. And as always, feel free to share your own recs in the notes!

If you want more book recs, check out my masterpost of rec lists!

Lagoon by Nnedi Okorafor

Something massive and alien crashes into the ocean off the coast of Nigeria. Three people, a marine biologist, a rapper, and a soldier, find themselves at the center of this presence, attempting to shepherd an alien ambassador as chaos spreads in the city. A strange novel that mixes the supernatural with the alien, shifts between many different POVs, and gives a one of a kind look at a possible first contact.

Nubia: The Awakening (Nubia series) by Omar Epps & Clarence A. Hayes

Young adult. Three teens living in the slums of an enviromentally ravaged New York find that something powerful is awakening within them. They’re all children of refugees of Nubia, a utopian African island nation that sank as the climate worsened, and realize now that their parents have been hiding aspects of their heritage from them. But as they come into their own, someone seeks to use their abilities to his own ends, against their own people.

The Scourge Between Stars by Ness Brown

Novella. After having failed at establishing a new colony, starship Calypso fights to make it back to Earth. Acting captain Jacklyn Albright is already struggling against the threats of interstellar space and impending starvation when the ship throws her a new danger: something is hiding on the ship, picking off her crew one by one in bloody, gruesome ways. A quick, excellent read if you want some good Alien vibes.

Dawn (Xenogenesis trilogy) by Octavia E. Butler*

After a devestating war leaves humanity on the brink of extinction, survivor Lilith finds herself waking up naked and alone in a strange room. She’s been rescued by the Oankali, who have arrived just in time to save the human race. But there’s a price to survival, and it might be humanity itself. Absolutely fucked up I love it I once had to drop the book mid read to stare at the ceiling and exclaim in horror at what was going on. Includes darker examinations of agency and consent, so enter with caution.

Midnight Robber by Nalo Hopkinson*

Utterly unique in world-building, story, and prose, Midnight Robber follows young Tan-Tan and her father, inhabitants of the Carribean-colonized planet of Toussaint. When her father commits a terrible crime, he’s exiled to a parallel version of the same planet, home to strange aliens and other human exiles. Tan-Tan, not wanting to lose her father, follows with him. Trapped on this new planet, he becomes her worst nightmare. Enter this book with caution, as it contains graphic child sexual abuse.

Rosewater (The Wormwood trilogy) by Tade Thompson

In Nigeria lies Rosewater, a city bordering on a strange, alien biodome. Its motives are unknown, but it’s having an undeniable effect on the surrounding life. Kaaro, former criminal and current psychic agent for the government, is one of the people changed by it. When other psychics like him begin getting killed, Kaaro must take it upon himself to find out the truth about the biodome and its intentions.

Do You Dream of Terra-Two? by Temi Oh

Young adult. A century ago, an astronomer discovered a possibly Earth-like planet. Now, a team of veteran astronauts and carefully chosen teenagers are preparing to embark on a twenty-three year trip to get there. But space is dangerous, and the team has no one to rely on but each other if - or when - something goes wrong. An introspective slowburn of a story, this focuses more on character work than action.

The Best of All Possible Worlds by Karen Lord

After the planet Sadira is left uninhabitable, its few survivors are forced to move to a new world. On Cygnus Beta, they work to rebuild their society alongside their distant relatives of the planet, while trying to preserve what remains of their culture. Focused less on hard science or action, The Best of All Possible Worlds is more about culture, romance and the ethics and practicalities of telepathy.

Mirage (Mirage duology) by Somaiya Daud

Young adult. Eighteen-year-old Amani lives on an isolated moon under the oppressive occupation of the Valthek empire. When Amani is abducted, she finds herself someplace wholly unexpected: the royal palace. As it turns out, she's nearly identical to the half-Valthek, and widely hated, princess Maram, who is in need of a body double. If Amani ever wants to make it back home or see her people freed from oppression, she will have to play her role as princess perfectly. While sci-fi, this one more has the vibe of a fantasy.

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon

Life on the lower decks of the generation ship HSS Matilda is hard for Aster, an outcast even among outcasts, trying to survive in a system not dissimilar to the old antebellum South. The ship’s leaders have imposed harsh restrictions on their darker skinned people, using them as an oppressed work force as they travel toward their supposed Promised Land. But as Aster finds a link between the death of the ship’s sovereign and the suicide of her own mother, she realizes there may be a way off the ship.

Where It Rains in Color by Denise Crittendon

The planet Swazembi is a utopia of color and beauty, the most beautiful of all its citizens being the Rare Indigo. Lileala was just named Rare Indigo, but her strict yet pampered life gets upended when her beautiful skin is struck by a mysterious sickness, leaving it covered in scars and scabs. Meanwhile, voices start to whisper in Lileala's mind, bringing to the surface a past long forgotten involving her entire society.

Eacaping Exodus (Escaping Exodus duology) by Nicky Drayden

Seske is the heir to the leader of a clan living inside a gigantic, spacefaring beast, of which they frequently need to catch a new one to reside in as their presence slowly kills the beast from the inside. While I found the ending rushed with regards to plot and character, the worldbuilding is very fresh and the overall plot of survival and class struggle an interesting one. It’s also sapphic!

Chain-Gang All-Stars by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah*

In a near future America, inmates on death row or with life sentences in private prisons can choose to participate in death matches for entertainment. If they survive long enough - a rare case indeed - they regain their freedom. Among these prisoners are Loretta Thurwar and Hamara "Hurricane Staxxx" Stacker, partners behind the scenes and close to the deadline of a possible release - if only they can survive for long enough. As the game continues to be stacked against them and protests mount outside, two women fight for love, freedom, and their own humanity. Chain-Gang All-Stars is bleak and unflinching as well as genuinely hopeful in its portrayal of a dark but all to real possible future.

Parable of the Sower (Earthseed duology) by Octavia E. Butler*

In a bleak future, Lauren Olamina lives with her family in a gated community, one of few still safe places in a time of chaos. When her community falls, Lauren is forced on the run. As she makes her way toward possible safety, she picks up a following of other refugees, and sows the seeds of a new ideology which may one day be the saviour of mankind. Very bleak and scarily realistic, Parable of the Sower will make you both fear for mankind and regain your hope for humanity.

Binti (Binti trilogy) by Nnedi Okorafor

Young adult novella. Binti is the first of the Himba people to be accepted into the prestigious Oomza University, the finest place of higher learning in all the galaxy. But as she embarks on her interstellar journey, the unthinkable happens: her ship is attacked by the terrifying Meduse, an alien race at war with Oomza University.

War Girls (War Girls duology) by Tochi Onyebuchi

In an enviromentally fraught future, the Nigerian civil war has flared back up, utilizing cybernetics and mechs to enhance its soldiers. Two sisters, by bond if not by blood, are separated and end up on differing sides of the struggle. Brutal and dark, with themes of dehumanization of soldiers through cybernetics that turn them into weapons, and the effect and trauma this has on them.

The Space Between Worlds (The Space Between Worlds duology) by Micaiah Johnson

Multiverse travel is finally possible, but there’s a catch: No one can visit a world where their counterpart is still alive. Enter Cara, whose parallel selves happen to be exceptionally good at dying. As such she has a very special job in traveling to these worlds, hoping to keep her position long enough to gain citizenship in the walled-off Wiley City, away from the wastes where she grew up. But her job is dangerous, especially when she gets on the tracks of a secret that threatens the entire multiverse. Really cool worldbuilding and characters, also featuring a sapphic lead!

The Fifth Season (The Broken Eart trilogy) by N.K. Jemisin*

In a world regularly torn apart by natural disasters, a big one finally strikes and society as we know it falls, leaving people floundering to survive in a post apocalyptic world, its secrets and past to be slowly revealed. We get to follow a mother as she races through this world to find and save her missing daughter. While mostly fantasy in genre, this series does have some sci-fi flavor, and is genuinely some of the best books I've ever read, please read them.

The Women Could Fly by Megan Giddings*

In an alternate version of our present, the witch hunt never ended. Women are constantly watched and expected to marry young so their husbands can keep an eye on them. When she was fourteen, Josephine's mother disappeared, leveling suspicions at both mother and daughter of possible witchcraft. Now, nearly a decade and a half later, Jo, in trying to finally accept her missing mother as dead, decides to follow up on a set of seemingly nonsensical instructions left in her will. Features a bisexual lead!

The Prey of Gods by Nicky Drayden

South African-set scifi featuring gods ancient and new, robots finding sentience, dik-diks, and a gay teen with mind control abilities. An ancient goddess seeks to return to her true power no matter how many humans she has to sacrifice to get there. A little bit all over the place but very creative and fresh.

The Summer Prince by Alaya Dawn Johnson*

Young adult. Young artist June Costa lives in Palmares Tres, a beautiful, matriarchal city relying heavily on tradition, one of which is the Summer King. The most recent Summer King is Enki, a bold boy and fellow artist. With him at her side, June seeks to finally find fame and recognition through her art, breaking through the generational divide of her home. But growing close to Enki is dangerous, because he, like all Summer Kings, is destined to die.

The Blood Trials (The Blood Gifted duology) by N.E. Davenport

After Ikenna's grandfather is assasinated, she is convinced that only a member of the Praetorian guard, elite soldiers, could’ve killed him. Seeking to uncover his killer, Ikenna enrolls in a dangerous trial to join the Praetorians which only a quarter of applicants survive. For Ikenna, the stakes are even higher, as she's hiding forbidden blood magic which could cost her her life. Mix of fantasy and sci-fi. While I didn’t super vibe with this one, I suspect fans of action packed romantasy will enjoy it.

Babel-17 by Samuel R. Delany

1960s classic. Rydra Wong is a space captain, linguist and poet who is set on learning to understand Babel-17, a language which is humanity's only clue at the enemy in an interstaller war. But Babel-17 is more than just a language, and studying it may change Rydra forever.

Pet (Pet duology) by Akwaeke Emezi

Young adult novella. Jam lives in a utopian future that has been freed of monsters and the systems which created and upheld them. But then she meets Pet, a dangerous creature claiming to be hunting a monster still among them, prepared to stop at nothing to find them. While I personally found the word-building in Pet lacking, it deftly handles dark subjects of what makes a human a monster.

Bonus AKA I haven’t read these yet but they seem really cool

Lion's Blood by Steven Barnes

Alternate history in which Africans colonized South America while vikings colonized the North. The vikings sell abducted Celts and Franks as slaves to the South, one of which is eleven-years-old Irish boy Aidan O'Dere, who was just bought by a Southern plantation owner.

The Sound of Stars by Alechia Dow

Young adult dystopia. Ellie lives in a future where humanity is under the control of the alien Ilori. All art is forbidden, but Ellie keeps a secret library; when one of her books disappears, she fears discovery and execution. M0Rr1S, born in a lab and raised to be emotionless, finds her library, and though he should deliver her for execution, he finds himself obsessed with human music. Together the two embark on a roadtrip which may save humanity.

Womb City by Tlotlo Tsamaase

Lelah lives in future Botswana, but despite money and fame she finds herself in an unhappy marriage, her body controlled via microchip by her husband. After burying the body of an accidental hit and run, Lelah's life gets worse when the ghost of her victim returns to enact bloody vengeance.

Orleans by Sherri L. Smith

Young adult. Fen de la Guerre, living in a quarantined Gulf Coast left devestated by storms and sickness, is forced on the run with a newborn after her tribe is attacked. Hoping to get the child to safety, Fen seeks to get to the other side of the wall, she teams up with a scientist from the outside the quarantine zone.

Everfair by Nisi Shawl

A neo-victorian alternate history, in which a part of Congo was kept safe from colonisation, becoming Everfair, a safe haven for both the people of Congo and former slaves returning from America. Here they must struggle to keep this home safe for them all.

The Splinter in the Sky by Kemi Ashing-Giwa

Space opera. Enitan just wants to live a quiet life in the aftermath of a failed war of conquest, but when her lover is killed and her sister kidnapped, she's forced to leave her plans behind to save her sister.

Honorary mentions AKA these didn't really work for me but maybe you guys will like them: The City We Became (Great Cities duology) by N.K. Jemisin, The Lesson by Cadwell Turnbull, The A.I. Who Loved Me by Alyssa Cole

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pliablehead · 7 months

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DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE PRESERVATION OF PHYSICAL MEDIA? DO YOU WANT TO HELP MY 93-YEAR-OLD GRANDPA?

(cw for deaths in the family)

My grandfather has until the end of this calendar year to move out of the house he's lived in for my whole adult life. While he's been living here, he's lost his wife, his son (my dad), and his oldest daughter, each of whom was living in this home with him at their time of death. The house is way too big and old and nasty for one nonagenarian, so we're honestly glad he's getting bumped somewhere else, but what this means is that all the accumulated STUFF of four people is in this house, and he absolutely cannot take it all with him when he moves into his new tiny apartment for one.

A piece of this project I have taken on is trying to help get rid of three HUGE boxes worth of DVDs. I know not a lot of people have DVD players anymore, but I also know that a lot of people here on the internet (myself included!!) are really passionate about media preservation in an age when Netflix and other streamer services can just remove your favorite programming at the drop of a hat and there's nothing you can do about it. I would REALLY love to send these DVDs to people who care about them rather than just trying to offload them at a media resale store or something. Everything is pay what you want, although I'd love if you'd at least cover shipping (though it's honestly fine if you can't), and ideally I will be giving anything I make back to my grandpa to help him with the transition into this new living situation.

>>CLICK HERE FOR A LIST OF ALL THE FUN DVDS FOR SALE<<

** IMPORTANT NOTE TO KEEP IN MIND: Any titles marked with an asterisk are NOT official, commercially released DVDs, but are burned DVD-R copies made by my dad (an obsessive collector/tinkerer who in hindsight was so incredibly neurodivergent). They're still all in nice cases with legit-looking paper inserts that he made and everything.

This list includes things like: a lot of BBC or PBS public programming, classic films from before 1970, war movies, huge chunks of Monty Python, random sci-fi and horror offerings, and much more! If you or anyone you may know is at ALL interested, I encourage you to reach out, or to please at least share to a wider audience, and I will do my best to stay on top of people's requests, ship them out promptly, and keep the gdoc list up to date when things go! Thank you so much for helping me and my Pappap out! ♥

EDIT TO ADD: I am from the continental US, as are, I imagine, the majority of these DVDs. I am happy to ship internationally if I can be reimbursed for shipping, but I cannot guarantee the DVDs will play in another region.

OCTOBER 21 UPDATE: Visited again this week and picked up EVEN MORE DVDs! List in the original GDoc has been expanded to include the rest of the haul. Maybe take a second look if you were on the fence at first!

#signal boost #DVDs #media preservation #community aid #also just like a shitton of tom selleck's jesse stone movies

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louloulemons-posts · 9 months

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Teddy

Eddie Munson X Reader

Summary : Reader has a nickname for Eddie that melts his heart.

Word Count : 1.6k

Warnings : Pure fluff, reader cries a little, minor talk of Eddies mom passing, talk of heads being chopped off, swears, pet names, use of Y/N, not proofread, just fluffy goodness.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Walking into the cafeteria, you look around for your boyfriend and his friends. Wandering over to the noisy boys, you smile, slipping into the seat beside his.

In the middle of a rant about hellfire, he rambled on about the others whining about lack of knowledge of his newest campaign.

“What’s the point of me,” he paused, kissing you cheek and placing his ring decorated hand on your thigh, giving it a squeeze.

“-Telling you anything about it, it kinda defeats the object. You’d get through it too easy.”

“Can’t we just have a hint what we’re up against?” Jeff asked.

“Yeah man you wiped the floor with us last time,” Mike complained.

“Maybe it’s cause you’re shit,” Eddie shrugged, to which you lightly punched his shoulder. “What?” He asked.

“Don’t be mean Teddy, give ‘em a hint.”

You looked away from him, pulling your lunch out of your bag. A sandwich, some cherries and a bottle of water. “Fine, it’s sort of similar to last time. Just remember how many things can hide in the dark.”

“Wow thanks for zero help,” Dustin said. Eddie just shrugged, as you slid half of your sandwich over to him. “Here you go Teds.”

Kissing your head he smiled, “Thanks Sweet Girl.”

“You busy later?”

“No why?”

“What to rent a movie?”

“Sure, want a movie night?”

“Mhm, you can stay if you want. Parents won’t mind Teds.”

He went quiet as he nodded, taking a bite out of his half of the sandwich. You noticed how his cheeks were flushed, and through his thick curls you could see his ears red.

“You alright?”

“Yeah Sweetheart I’m good, foods nice.”

“Want any cherries?” He nodded, handing him a couple, you offered them to the other boys as well.

A few of them took some, all thanking you for the offer.

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Lunch was uneventful after that, until your friend Chloe came running in. “Y/N,” she said, placing a hand of your shoulder.

Turning to her, you smiled, “Hey Clo, everything okay?”

“Do you think you could help me with moving my project, it’s almost breaking and I need to get it to our next class.”

“Oh yeah sure.” You packed away your lunch and stood from the table.

Throwing your bag over your shoulder, you leaned down to peck your boyfriends lips. “I’ll meet you at the van,” he said.

“Okay, see you later Teddy.” You and Chloe waved goodbye to the others and headed out.

“So um … Teddy huh?” Gareth teased.

“Shut up!” He said.

“But it’s cute! I’m gonna start calling you that now, Eddie Teddy.”

“Fuck off, only Y/Ns allowed to call me that.”

“Aww why?” He asked.

“Uh cause she’s my girlfriend you dick.”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Standing by Eddies van you saw him walk out of the building, saying goodbye to Dustin and wandering over to you. You smiled and waved slightly as he made his way.

“Hey Sweetheart,” he smiled.

“Hey Teddy,” you said, standing on your tiptoes to kiss him. Taking your bag off you shoulder, he offered you his hand as you climbed in the van, placing the bag by your feet.

“Thanks.”

“Always.” He walked around to his side and began to drive out of the parking lot. “So what are we getting? Horror, sci-fi or are you gonna make me sit through a chick flick?” He asked.

“You always ask that, but you get so into them!”

“Do not!”

“Lies. I know you love them really Teds.”

“Mhm whatever you say.”

“Well I was thinking, I pick a movie for you, and you pick one for me.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“I’ve got popcorn at home and candy, so it’s just the movies.”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Walking into Family Video, Eddie kissed your cheek and spoke, “I’m just gonna go say hi, go pick out the movie Sweetheart.”

“Okay.” Waving to the pair behind the counter before walking away down the aisle.

“Hey Munson.”

“Harrington, Buckley. How are we?”

“Good, you hear to use our discount?” Steve asked. “You know it.”

“How’s it going with Y/N?” Robin questioned.

“She’s great. It’s great.”

“I’m so glad I introduced you.”

“Yeah me too, I’ll owe you forever. Can’t believe she’s stuck around.”

“Coming up to six months now right?” The other boy asked.

Eddie nodded. “So movie night? Her parents like you?”

“Her dads a metal head himself Steve, of course he likes him!” Steve held his hands up in defence at Robins words. Eddie laughed, “Yeah they’re great people, really nice. Makes sense though, having that Sweet girl as their daughter.”

“Talking about me?” You popped up besides Eddie. “You? Sweet? Nah,” The curly haired boy teased. You bumped his side, letting out a playful sigh. “Go pick your movie Teds,” you said.

“What did you get?”

“It’s called Highlander. Looks good.”

“Oh yeah it’s cool,” Steve agreed, “I watched it the other day, insane, but great.”

“Perfect! Now go pick,” you pushed him towards the aisle lightly.

“Jesus, you tryna get rid of me?”

“Me? Get rid of you? Never!”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

“Okay so I have Sweet and Salty popcorn, M&Ms and Reece’s. Help yourself,” you said, climbing on the couch next to Eddie. “Did you plan this?” He asked.

“I was just really hoping you’d be up for it,” you explained. “I’m always up for spending time with you Sweetheart.” You smiled, and snuggled into him.

“Okay kids we’re heading out now, we’ll be home at 1 at the latest,” your mom said, popping her head round the door. “Okay, have fun,” you waved to her.”

The pair shouted to goodbye to you and Eddie and were on their way. “Okay which movie first?” You asked.

“Well one has Sean Connery and one has Bowie so either ones a good pick.”

“We should start gory and end sweet?”

“Sounds like a plan, I’ll put it in.”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Soon enough you were sat together watching Highlander. Scottish warriors were freaking out because a man named Connor had come back from the dead.

“I think this was a good pick,” Eddie said.

“Thanks Teds, I’m glad your enjoy it.” Once again you noticed his face flushing. “Why do you do that?” You asked.

He looked away from the screen to face you, “Do what Sweet girl?”

“Go all blushy?”

“I’m not!”

“You are, your cheeks are all pink and I bet your ears are warm.” You reached out to feel, but he leaned away.

“Let me feel!”

“No! Get away from my ears.”

“Let me feel them!”

“No you little monster. Get back,” he shuffled to the edge of the couch.

You crawled after him, leaving him trapped. Reaching out again, you successfully touched his ear, it was burning. “Aha! I knew it!”

“Shush! Watch the movie! Look it’s Sean Connery.”

“No no, I’m pausing it.” You reached for the remote and paused it on the older man’s face.

“What’s going on? You know you can tell me anything?” You said softly, fully facing him. Legs crossed and hands in your lap. “I know sweetheart it’s just ..” he sighed.

“It’s okay Teddy. Take your time.”

“It’s that.”

“What?”

“Teddy.”

“Teddy?”

“When you call me Teddy I just,” he groaned, leaning back into the plush couch. “Do you not like it? I can stop,” you said, terrified that you’d made your lover uncomfortable.

“No!” He almost shouted. “Please don’t stop. I love it, so much,” he said, reaching out for your hand. “Then why’s it bad?”

“Oh sweet girl it’s not. It’s so far from bad, if makes my heart burst and my brain turn mushy.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah oh. Haven’t had anyone call me Teddy in a long time. When you first did it, it scared me, but I love it so much.”

You played with the rings on his fingers, “Who else called you Teddy?”

“My mom. Her little Teddy, said Edward was too grown up for me yet. Wayne was the one who started calling me Eddie after everything that happened.

“He called me Teddy once and I freaked. Said only mom could call me that, and now she was gone no one could. But then you came along, and damn sweetheart … you changed everything.

“So sweet and kind and beautiful. You called me Teddy and I felt so loved, only two ladies have made me feel like that. That’s how I knew it’d have to be you, you’d be my one and only girl. I just love you so much.”

You sniffled, rubbing your glassy eyes. “Oh no, oh Sweetheart. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset you,” Eddie said, panicked, pulling you into his lap.

“You didn’t! It’s just so sweet. I’m so happy I make you feel like that. So honoured that you let me call you Teddy.”

“I am your Teddy, like I was hers, and I’m Wayne’s Eddie or Son.”

“You said something else to Teds.”

“I did didn’t I?” He asked, to which you nodded. “Well it’s true Sweetheart, I love you. Think I have from the day Robin introduced us.”

“I love you too Teddy.” He cupped your face with his hands, metal chilly on your face, but his warm palms comforted you. Leaning in he kissed your lips softly.

You pulled him back in, holding onto his shirt. Making the kiss more passionate, opening your mouth slightly, letting his tongue slide in.

After making out until you needed to breathe, you smiled at him, “I love you so much my Teddy.”

“I love you too Sweet girl, now come on let’s watch some guys chop each others heads off.”

~ / / / * \ \ \ ~

Thank you so much for reading! Please leave any requests 🤍

#eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x yn #joe quinn #joe quinn imagine #eddie stranger things #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x you #eddie x y/n #eddie x reader #joseph quinn #stranger things #stranger things imagine #fluff #oneshot #imagine #louloulemons

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leog4u · 1 month

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Game Design and Porn Pt. 1

or, How To Fuck Up The Best Intrinsic Reward Ever

Hi, I'm Leo G, veteran pervert. One time while chatting in a server exclusively made of porn artists, I brought up the game design of a porn game I enjoyed. One of them laughed, saying "Who cares, it's just a porn game?" Being unwell, I never let this go. Since then, I have played many adult games and took each one as serious products made by professionals. Fast forward to today, and the demo for my porn game, Joker's Trip, is nearing completion. I also have some sci-fi erotica you should check out.

So you wanna make a porn game. You heard they make money, and hey what’s more fun than making a video game AND porn? But you don’t know where to begin! Well don’t worry, Leo’s got you covered. We’re gonna walk through the line of thinking you should have when designing your porn game. There's gonna be at least three parts to this, with part 1 focusing on how to reward your player.

Define "porn game" for me, Leo.

There are porn games, and then games with porn in them. A porn game is a game where you won’t last 5 minutes, where everything exists solely to meet and, subsequently, fuck. A game with porn in it is a game where everything exists for the purpose of the game, and also, you fuck. Fate Stay Night, for example, is a VN with a story that just so happens to have some CGs where the protagonist rails Saber, but is mainly about Shirou and the Holy Grail War. Much like how I would call Castlevania a game with horror in it, but not a horror game.

Porn games are a lot like horror games. They both get a bad rap for being cheap to make, appealing to base instincts, and generally being low quality. They're also both not actual genres of games, but genres of content. Think about it, if I asked you what a horror game is, you'd say a game that's scary. But what's the actual game part? The unfortunate answer would most likely be "walking sim," but there are a lot of examples that are FPSes, puzzles, driving sims, platformers, deck builders, the list goes on.

The most common genres of game I see for porn games these days are by far RPG Maker RPGs and VNs. I won’t be talking about VNs because they’re closer to writing than game design, which isn’t a flaw but a feature. What used to be everywhere, in days of old, were breakout games, where the more bricks and levels were cleared, the more of the sexy image would be revealed in the background. Other arcadey type deals like shoot ‘em ups and mahjong were also around, and had a similar “strip ‘em down until you have sex” gameplay loop.

Okay, so what’s an intrinsic reward?

There’s intrinsic rewards, and there're extrinsic rewards. Extrinsic rewards, generally, are the number go up rewards. Things that make your character stronger, or give you more resources to buy new gear or whatever. Intrinsic rewards in games can cover a large swathe of things. It can be the feeling of satisfaction of completing a puzzle, a piece of lore or world building, or a new dialogue option with a character you want to fuck.

I like fucking characters, are we talking about porn now?

Yes! I’m of the opinion that you literally can’t make a better intrinsic reward than pornography. On top of setting the tone for the entirety of the game., at its best it can add to a story, add to someone’s character development, or be a beautiful piece of art to look at. AND you can jack off to it! Unfortunately, that’s at its best. Let’s talk about how porn is delivered in a theoretical RPG porn game. (As a head’s up, there will be talk of “bad end” scenes, but this is under the assumption that the player is the one consenting.)

So you’re playing an RPG and get into a fight. Maybe you were underleveled or too cumbrained to remember to buy healing potions. Then your HP goes to zero, and instead of going back to the title screen, you’re getting fucked by orcs. That’s right, let’s talk about Game Over CGs.

You get to watch porn when you lose?

To someone making a porn game with a battle system, this delivery method makes sense. The characters in this world are driven primarily by lust, this is just the obvious conclusion. And it doesn’t even have to be non-consensual! Games like Future Fragments show that it can be presented as a sexy inconvenience rather than anything uncomfortable for the player or our hero. Game Over CGs even have the benefit of softening the blow of defeat, by giving the player a chance to reflect on their defeat and jerk off. Even better if losing a fight isn’t lost progress, but rather a bump in the road. However, there’s a problem here. The player is a dog, and we’re rewarding bad behavior.

The porn is an intrinsic reward, so why are we giving it to the player for losing? Incentivizing losing on purpose isn’t just bad game design, but a waste of time. And to that end, a lot of porn games try to give solutions to this. One being a kill button on the keyboard or a skill that instantly KOs our hero to get to the lose screen faster. What might seem like a convenience is really just expediting failure.

What it says is that the gameplay doesn’t actually matter. You’re just here for the porn, right? In that case there’s plenty of places I can go to see a chick with huge knockers get railed by an orc, with the added bonus of not having to play forgettable and mid turn based combat!

Another solution I’ve seen is the game outright telling you, “hey don’t bother killing yourself to see the porn. Once you beat the game all of the scenes you missed will be unlocked!” At first this seems like a reasonable way to go about it, but it comes with another problem: your game better be fucking good to make me play through the entire thing before getting to see cock. Like I said earlier, porn at its best can reveal things about the world and drive character development. I uh. Just beat the game. I don’t care anymore. Showing me a scene that’s taken out of context by a factor of 5 hours or more isn’t what I’d call great game design or story telling. It’s also too little, too late.

What if we made the porn actual rewards?

Now we’re getting somewhere! Let’s make the reward…a reward! What if, every time the player beats a level, we get some porn? If we tie the CG to beating the boss, we’ll be tying the reward to game progression. That’s good right? So now, on top of the extrinsic rewards you’d normally get for beating a boss (a lot of EXP, better gear, opened areas) we also get that sweet dopamine rush of pornography! So we’re good, right?

There’s 1142 words left in this post, so I’m assuming no.

Well. It’s a start. It has the problem of predictability. If not handled properly, it comes off as lazy. As a game designer, one of your goals is to not constantly remind your player that they’re playing a video game. Get through the level, get porn. It feels a little too “mouse in a maze looking for cheese” for my taste. And much like the game over method, if the actual game itself is mid, the player will start to question if the reward is worth it, and might be afflicted with the worst condition a player could receive: boredom.

Of course there are exceptions. In puzzle or arcade type games where you don’t get extrinsic rewards, giving the player porn as another form of reward per level or whatever is perfectly reasonable (though it does have the issue of being predictable.) This is a perfectly good way of doing it if your game is short, or if the game is, y’know, good and fun to play. Bad Color’s game, Heroine Conquest, is a level based puzzle game with porn as the reward, but only when you do good. Combining the actual challenge of mastering the game, with a genuinely unique game loop makes for a feeling of accomplishment when beating a level. Pair that up with a sex cutscene, and the dopamine rush will hit.

So! Let’s combine giving the player a power trip, with a less rigid structure for giving the player porn. Instead of tying the porn to purely progression gates, let’s tie it to the progression.

Plot milestones

In Third Crisis, sex scenes are peppered throughout the regular game’s plot, starting with some lesbian bondage before introducing the protagonist, who goes through a tutorial before having their own horny encounters. It’s not just given when you win or lose, but is a natural part of the game. Beating bosses, losing to enemies, and exploring dialogue options in sidequests all lead to unlocking new CGs.

Now what’s nice about that, is that the sex isn’t placed somewhere extremely predictable. It isn’t just a reward for beating The Boss Of Forest Zone, Now Go To Ice Zone And Beat The Ice Boss For More Cock. Because that’s the biggest issue of predictable rewards, you know you’re not getting anything until that checkpoint, which will make the player weigh whether or not it’s even worth continuing. This is fine, again, for an arcade type game, not an RPG or adventure game. By sprinkling sex throughout the plot itself, the player will not only want to progress, but their curiosity will have them wondering “what else is out there?”

Rewarding exploration

By putting sex scenes behind optional side quests or encounters, the dog that is the player will scour every single corner of the map, and leave no pixel unturned. Personally, that’s more exciting to me than what you’ll get in the main progression route. In Future Fragments the player can find their rival Faye in sexual situations if they explore the map enough. These are completely optional, and don’t give any direct rewards like more HP or an item, but they’re by far what motivates me to explore the maps as thoroughly as possible, more so than the plot macguffins the game is named after!

So now the player is excited. Sex can happen anywhere. Maybe that daunting off road path with stronger monsters isn’t just hiding a secret, but a sexy secret! They’ll be more likely to venture down those optional paths you painstakingly made.

If we’re using sex in game overs, boss fights, and just randos, why not put it everywhere?

So now I want to talk about the concept of a “sex stat”. It’s not a bad idea! Say, the higher the player’s sex stat is, the more opportunities you unlock for fucking. It could even be tied to the player character’s personality, and affect the story! Instead of using a sword and shield, they’ll end any conflict with sass and sex. They open their eyes to the horny world around them and stop being a hero, and instead become a succubus, and the ending is a massive cum filled orgy.

That sounds excessive

Yeah, it does, doesn’t it.

I’m not a fan of “corruption” systems in porn games. Corruption as a kink is totally fine, and having it be a part of the story lets you incorporate more sexuality into the plot. But as I alluded to, it snowballs pretty fast (and I’m not talking about spitting in someone’s mouth). It ends up being like a cheat code, where you’re bypassing parts of the game for no cost. It stops being a reward, it stops being unexpected, and it stops it from being sexy.

Wait, what? Stops being sexy? What’s not sexy about a succubus orgy?

Alright, listen, we gotta rein it in for a minute. This isn’t so much about game design as it is about writing erotica, but if you have a world where everyone’s fucking and sucking 24/7, there’s no contrast to make what would normally be a hot taboo a hot taboo. If everybody’s naked, nobody’s naked. The aforementioned snowball effect of a corruption system can be seen if you play literally any game that has one. It won’t take long to not have to engage with any combat or adventuring system if you can just press the “Submit to the big dick warlock” button and watch porn to progress.

Which, now that I said that, is exactly the problem. Imagine any other rpg you’ve ever played. Now imagine if every encounter and dialogue option had an option to just watch a short cutscene to skip the encounter. That would suck ass, right? Literally no difference here.

It would. Hey, I’m sort of lost now.

Don’t worry, we’re wrapping this up.

So what did we learn? We learned game over CGs have a critical design flaw that shouldn’t be relied on. We learned that predictable rewards can lead to boredom. We learned to keep sex as a reward and not devalue it.

To summarize, here’s a neat trick to know where to put your porn scenes.

”Would I put an Xbox Live achievement here?”

It’s that easy. “Lose to Goblins for the first time,” that’s an achievement. “Beat orc commander,” that’s an achievement. “Find Hubert the Magical Dickhead,” that’s an achievement. Using that as a guideline is foolproof. Almost.

This sounds like it’d take a lot of resources

It sure does! But don’t worry. I’ll cover that in the next post talking all about how to deal with the resource management of a porn game.

(Shoutout to Taylor, my guy for editing!)

#Leo Gab #game design #game dev

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deconstructthesoup · 5 months

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I think the reason that Dimension 20 really scratches all those itches in my brain is that it really shows what you can do with D&D---and TTRPGs as a whole.

Fantasy High, by itself, is an incredibly compelling concept. What would D&D look like in a semi-modern setting? What would a high school that's all about teaching teens how to be adventurers look like? And the way it's done is beyond inventive, especially if you look at all the encounters in the first season---we've got a literal food fight, a high-speed road chase with tiefling greasers, a nightclub brawl with zombies, vampires, and werewolves, a skating match with a bunch of dwarven middle schoolers and a concrete golem, a high-stakes game of football (ish) with undead jocks that give off major teen slasher vibes, a fight done in an arcade where characters can get trapped in the consoles, and the final battle is done at prom. PROM! How cool is that?

And then we get to the Unsleeping City, which takes the urban fantasy elements that Fantasy High already had and elevates it. The way the D&D lore and magic is interpreted in a modern New York setting is excellent, as is the whole take on the "American Dream," magic literally coming from dreams, ideas, and the imagination. I know that I need to actually finish the UC saga, but from what I've seen and experienced, it is truly fantastic.

And the same energy carries through to the other seasons---my personal favorite outside of Fantasy High being A Court of Fey and Flowers, just because I'm a sucker for any Fey Realm content and I've been raised on Jane Austen---where the genre mashups shine through in the best way possible. I'll admit, I haven't seen A Crown of Candy, purely because I know how heartbreaking and devastating it is and I don't think I can physically handle it, but the concept of Candyland Game of Thrones is so beautifully bizarre that I totally get why people love it so much. Escape from the Bloodkeep hitting that workplace comedy vibe that we love to see in villains. Misfits & Magic being a love letter to the "magical boarding school" genre while also calling out all the weird contradictions inherent in it. A Starstruck Odyssey literally being an homage to Brennan's mom and exactly the kind of madcap and unhinged energy I need from my sci-fi. Neverafter perfectly encapsulating the true horror of fairy tales. Mentopolis hitting my noir-loving heart and personifying hyperfixation in the best way possible.

I'm not even kidding when I say that, if it weren't for Dimension 20... I probably wouldn't have even started my own campaign. I'd had snippets and ideas ever since officially getting into D&D and joining a game with some old friends (and getting back in touch with them in the process), but after I saw the Mentopolis trailer, I realized just how much variety TTRGPs had to offer. I could do a time-blending, history-meets-future campaign. I could go out-of-the-box. I could have endless amounts of options available to my friends and still tell the story that I wanted to tell. And when I sat down and watched Fantasy High---and when I got that Dropout subscription so I could consume whatever I wanted---it felt like the show was actually giving me advice. It's fantastic.

Also it helps that the episodes are usually only roughly a couple hours instead of being, like, an entire afternoon long. And that each season is 20 episodes, tops. No offense to Critical Role, but the sheer amount of content literally makes it impossible for me to get into it.

#dimension 20 #dropout tv #fantasy high #the unsleeping city #a court of fey and flowers #a crown of candy #a starstruck odyssey #neverafter #mentopolis #i just love this show so much you guys

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fairytale-poll · 5 months

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ROUND 1D, MATCH 1 OUT OF 16!

Propaganda Under the Cut:

Dimension 20:

Knight in invisible glass armor who turned the heel of her slipper into a spear and impaled the Fairy Grandmother with it to escape her false happy ending. Part of a team of princesses who want to destroy the entire fairy tale world to spare themselves and everyone else from eternally suffering. Gives weirdly good life advice.

A badass warrior in glass armor who stabs her fairy godmother with the heel of her glass slipper

Neverafter sweep!!!! Also, she is cool. Wears glass armor, tried to kill her fairy godmother with a spear, also tried to kill her stepmother.

She wears armour of glass and fights against a prewritten destiny

This Cinderella's story takes place in a world where all the fairytale characters exist but their stories have all gone wrong. It's a horror Dnd campaign, and there's also a multivariate concept where if people die, they're basically just reborn in a worse version of the story. Cinderella here is an NPC and is part of a faction called the Daughters of the Crown, which is a group of rebel nialaistic princesses who want to destroy the Neverafter to be free. She stabbed her fairy godmother in the chest with a glass shard from her shoe and she's a crazy powerful fighter. She wears full plate armor made of reflective glass so that she's essentially invisible when standing still. She's super badass but still is caring and funny. In the final battle when the PCs are fighting the Daughters of the Crown and other bad guys, she turns to their side after the other princesses are defeated and other giant villains come in, including her step mother, who became an eldritch horror. She stabs her stepmother through the heart with a shard of glass after dismissing the stepmother statement that she hurt her because it was destiny, saying that it doesn't matter if it was free will or destiny, she didn't like it. TLDR: She's a badass black woman/princess/knight

This woman has been through so much Shit. She has to go through the usual suffering of Cinderella (dead parents, abusive step-family) and then find out her entire life is a lie, just a story where she has no agency over her life? Her suffering is for someone else's amusement? So she's doing bad. Her stepmother also tries to destroy the ENTIRE universe after snapping. And okay. Maybeeee Cinderella tried to kill some people (mainly the campaign's party) but after she lost everything I can't help but feel a little bad for her. Thank you for your time.

shes ANGRY shes a WARRIOR she has GLASS ARMOR THAT SHE NEVER TAKES OFF she’s trying to END THE WORLD AND KILL EVERYONE she’s EVERYTHING to me

Once Upon a Time (in Space):

She spent decades searching every moon and planet trying to find her wife (Rose), who was kidnapped on their wedding day. Eventually, she found Rose, and they embraced, only for Rose to die in Cinder's arms. And so Cinder killed the king who had kidnapped Rose by punching through his chest and into his heart.

And then Cinder got a somewhat happy ending, in which she met Rose's clone who had Rose's memories.

What if Cinderella was a Sci-Fi lesbian? Well here she is. She has a whole love song about searching the stars for her girlfriend after their wedding was interrupted and she was taken away. She spends years searching only to when she finally finds and embraces her watch her be shot. Cinders is so devastated by this that she plunges her wedding ring into the heart of the man who shot her love killing him.

Lesbian space princess who elopes with the terrifying soldier who was previously conquering her planet and spends decades searching for her when they're separated. Listen to her song https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6w9V-gMgBF4

I think the way she punches the evil king through the heart as revenge for her wife is pretty neat.

She’s a revolutionary married to a woman, what’s not to love? From Cinders’ Song: “ When I was a little girl, my mother always told me / "Someday your prince will come, my love" / But as I grew, I knew it was a princess who would hold me”.

her girlfriend got cloned and most of said clones were brutally slaughtered in war and she searched for her girlfriend all throughout the galaxy and when they were finally reunited on the battlefield her girlfriend died. and a clone of her girlfriend who due to technical errors retained her memories, so does that count as the same girlfriend? theseus's girlfriend? anyway vote for cinders she's been through hell

Lesbian!! Has to search for her lost love Rose with her glass wedding ring that changes color when its near its partner!! Gets to embrace Rose once again for one final moment before the villain kills Rose right in front of her!! So Cinders kills him in return!! And she's left as (almost) the only surviving main character from her own album but!! She is eventually reunited with a clone of Rose, and while they cannot have a truly 'happy ever after' together they are the ones graced with the closest thing to it

SPACE LESBIANS (she's in love with Rose Red, who gets kidnapped on their wedding day and Cinders searches the galaxy to find her, waiting for her white ring to turn crimson, indicating that its twin was near) She took her name from the ashes of her burning planet <3 She also killed Old King Cole >:)

shes a tragic lesbian and killed a violent dictator shes literally the best

shes gay shes traumatized she dates both rose red and sleeping beauty. badass space wanderer looking for her wife

Her wife Rose gets kidnapped on their wedding day and Cinders spend the next thirty years looking for her. She finds her (:D) and then Rose dies (D:) and then Cinders kills the guy who killed Rose (girlboss).

shes a lesbian. she lost her wife, Rose (yes, as in sleeping beauty) the day they got married bc she was kidnapped. she spent 20 YEARS looking for her. as soon as she found her wife, Rose DIED IN HER ARMS. Cinders has gone through Too Much to lose this poll

(Her info from the wiki) the Princess of a planet burnt by King Cole's army, after it is ceded by her stepmother. She is imprisoned, meets Rose and plans to marry her. She is released by her godmother for the wedding, then flees when the attack happens, spending thirty years looking for Rose. Her half of the wedding ring will light up when she finds Rose.

"When I was a little girl, my mother always told me 'Someday your prince will come, my love' But as I grew, I knew it was a princess who would hold me I looked to the stars for you, my love" She's lesbian Cinderella IN SPACE. She fell in love with her wife in prison and they ran away to have a secret marriage but the empire kidnapped Rose on their wedding night and Cinders had to leave her behind. She searches for Rose for decades with the glass ring that guides her to its twin on her wife's finger. She finally reunites with her love after Rose rips three supersoldiers to pieces with her bare hands (hot) but then then the evil king kills Rose so Cinders fucking punches through his heart. And then a clone of Rose (who is also lesbian Sleeping Beauty IN SPACE) finds her cradling her wife's body and they have a happy reunion(?) and maybe they didn't have a happy ending BUT WHAT IF THEY HAD EACH OTHER? HUH? AAAAAH

she’s everything. she’s a princess from a long since conquered planet. she was imprisoned to make a statement of the brutal reign of old king cole. she met her wife while she was in prison, a beautiful brutal soldier covered in scars from battles. cinders and rose fell in love, so cinders’ godmother in white broke her out of jail so rose and cinders could be together. they were going to be married, except that OLD KING COLE intervened and kidnapped rose to make her the genetic base of his unholy army. so cinders spends THIRTY YEARS searching the galaxies for her love (and sings a really cool song about it called “Cinders’ Song”) until finally she arrives during the final battle just in time to see old king cole SHOOT ROSE DEAD. so cinders punches the king so hard (with her wedding ring) that he just Crumples Into Dust. the end! (no we do not talk about the fiction.)

lesbian, for one, and for two i don't really care i just think it'd be cool if she got in/if she made it past the first round

#this match is going to be incredibly intense and chaotic #cinderpoll #round 1 #round 1d #cinderella #dimension 20 #dimension 20: neverafter #dimension 20 neverafter #neverafter #d20 #dropout #cinders #once upon a time in space #the mechanisms #fairytale #poll tournament #poll bracket #character polls #polls

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violets-and-books · 9 months

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The Crows watching Horror Films

Kaz:

Loves horror movies

Is basically the perfect horror film watcher

Watches intently

Never jumps at the jump-scares, the most you'll get out of him is a startled 'oh'

Always guesses who the mystery killer is

Always guesses it correctly

Loves slasher films

Inej:

Not a big fan of most horror films

Likes the final girl trope

Prefers sci-fi horror to anything else

Will rant about the pseudo-sadist, purity-obsessed horror films and why they can be better to anyone who'll listen

Won't go out of her way to watch a horror but will make an effort if A) Kaz wants to or B) It's made by a diverse minority of some kind

Jesper:

Hates horror films

Watches them because Kaz and Wylan like them

Loves watching them with Wylan because it gives him an excuse to cuddle up to his boyfriend

"are you scared?" "no" (literally shaking in his seat)

Is that one guy who screams at the screen like a goat

"I wish Milo was here, I wish Milo was here, I WISH MILO WAS HERE, I WISH MILOOOOOOOO-"

"ThAt'S nOt WhErE bLoOd Is MeAnT tO bEeEeEEEEEEE-"

"Wy, hold me, I'm scared" "The film hasn't even started yet-"

Jumps at every jump scare. Every. Single. One.

Wylan:

Likes horror films, especially ghost ones

Finds them cathartic

Has long conversations about themes and analysing horror with Inej and Matthias

Has seen all the classics

Likes gothic horror films

Is the only one who'll put up with Jesper's antics

Can't watch slashers - too violent

If he gets scared, he'll cover his ears and scream in short bursts until he isn't scared anymore

Matthias:

Is that one guy who'll analyse the film while watching it

Points out how scientifically incorrect all the kills are

Has very specific catagories for what counts as a horror film

Loves cult films, especially the Wicker Man

Can't watch haunting films, hates them so, so much

Nina:

Doesn't like horror films

Makes fun of Jesper for being so scared but then screams just as loud as him

Yells and swears at the characters for being so stupid

Ended up practically glued to Matthias' lap, if she didn't start out that way

"NO ONE would be that stupid to actually do [X]"

Quotes Scream at every given opportunity

(whenever someone on screen has sex) "Ooooooooh, you gonna diiiiie"

Kuwei:

Laughs at the jumpscares

Not even like a nervous laugh, plain out, hilarious laughter

Knows everything about how the films were made

Loves horror, possibly even more than Kaz

"Jes, are you scared? You can hold my hand if you want"

Has to sit a safe distance away from Wylan at all times to avoid being murdered

Explains how they did that stunt on screen as the stunt is happening (but will shut up if asked nicely)

Really likes body horror

#six of crows #six of crows hc #six of crows headcanons #soc #soc hc #wylan van eck #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #nina zenik #matthias helvar #jesper fahey #kuwei yul bo #horror films #wesper #helnik

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unknownati · 3 months

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iii. are you still watching?

a/n: EEEK ilygsm. im glad ppl liked the last post so much ^_^ <333 thank u!!!

u didnt hear this from me but i MAYYY be working on a lil something w ellie 😜😇🤫🤫

ngl? idk if i like this! i'm very 50/50 on it but ur the judge 🤷🏾‍♀️

warnings/tags: suggestive? like you're literally on the BRINK of fucking (so mdni!!) , still fluffy tho (you already know i can't live without it), "netflix n chill 🤓", cuddling, making out, not really tlou aligned more of a modern au, ending kinda sucks lol, guess what. NOT PROOFREAD 🔥🔥, once again not very long but still made with love 😁 🫶🏾

__________________________________________________

it took you an abby an hour to actually pick a show to watch. it always took you two forever, and the first 10 minutes of disagreement was usually on whether it should be a show or a movie. once you got past that, then it was which one to actually watch.

horror?..not really abby's thing.

sci-fi? not feeling that.

mystery? you didn't feel like thinking.

thriller? nothing good.

you eventually just settled on 'insecure' since you'd had your eye on it for a minute (and abby didn't feel like going back and forth with you anymore).

once you made it past the hour of picking something to watch, these were your favorite nights to have with abby. she'd come over, sometimes you'd order food, and you'd whip out your comfiest blankets to bundle up in. you had this specific blanket that abby loved to use, it was not too thin but not too thick, and it was adorned with these cute little cartoon dogs. she refused to let you use it even though it was yours.

you were fully invested in this show, but the same couldn't be said for abby. she kept glancing over towards you, staring for long enough that she didn't know what was going on.

you kept making small comments about the show just to receive late 'mhm's and 'ohhh's back. it wasn't until you took a peek at abby that you realized she wasn't even looking at the screen. "are you even watching it?"

she shrugged and nodded, almost defensive. "i am! you're just..." she exhaled, the faintest grin spreading across her face. "distracting."

you blink, raising a brow but matching her expression. "how am i distracting you? i'm not even doing anything, babe."

she nudges your leg with her knee. "you're just so pretty, i can't not look at you." you roll your eyes, focusing your attention back on the screen when the intensity starts picking back up. and abby let you watch. for a couple minutes, at least.

right when it was getting good, you felt a hand at your thigh. you glance over, she's darting between your face and your thigh; testing the waters. you don't say anything, still partially trying to see what's happening. her hand moves, up, up, right to the hem of your shirt. she pushes the fabric up, and that fully captures your attention.

"whatcha doin'?" you question, watching how she moves closer to you and looks at you with the prettiest, most love-struck eyes you've ever seen.

"nothing. just keep watching," abby reaches up and turns your head back towards the tv. you try your hardest to focus, but the feeling of her hands sliding up your shirt and slowly savoring every inch of your skin was a lot. and it didn't help that she started to kiss your neck, taking her sweet time to cover you with affection.

she trails up your neck, and soon she's kissing your jaw, her hand stationed at your waist. "you're so pretty. can't keep my hands off you, just wanna touch you all the time."

"abby..." you whispered, turning to give her a proper kiss. and that was all she needed. the way your voice sounded was like music to her ears, especially the way her name rolled off of your tongue and dripped like honey. heavenly.

it doesn't take long before you're on your back with her on top of you, her hand pulling your shirt up above your chest like she'll die if it's not off of you. it's so cute, the way her brows are furrowed while she kisses you, the small noises she makes that are just enough to tell you how bad she needed you. her touches are so gentle. she treated you like the most delicate piece of glassware yet she was so desperate for you.

her lips trail down, kissing down your sternum while she looks up at you with glimmering blue-grey eyes. she makes her way down your body, stopping right above the hem of your shorts. by this point, you your hear your heart thumping in your chest even over your thick breaths. "can i?" she asked, voice breathy.

you've never nodded and muttered a 'please' like that any faster.

it wasn't until you felt your shorts slide off and be carelessly tossed to the side that you noticed your show had paused and a large box of text popped up on the screen.

'are you still watching?"

#abby anderson #abby anderson fluff #abby anderson wlw #abby anderson x reader #the last of us abby #tlou #wlw #tlou2 fanfic #abby anderson smut #abby the last of us #i kinda cooked #abby tlou #tlou2

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bogkeep · 13 days

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Would you recommend the SSSS comic? I know little of it beside the very beautiful artstyle and premise

to answer the question of if i would recommend SSSS as a comic: yes, yes i would.

a description for those who don't know: Stand Still Stay Silent is a post-apocalyptic horror + adventure webcomic set in the nordics (norway, sweden, denmark, finland, iceland) that have been isolated from the rest of the world and gone back to their old gods. the the world outside of safe zones is full of trolls and beasts - humans and mammals that got infected by a horrible virus and turned into monsters. the story follows a ragtag crew that ventures into the old world (derelict denmark) on an expedition to collect books.

the comic updated every workday until it concluded in 2022, and consists of two Adventures. the creator had plans for many adventures with these characters in this world, but ended it after two when she wanted to take a new direction with her life.

what i love about it:

- the art is GORGEOUS. it's been a huge source of inspiration for me. open any page and it's a masterpiece, and you will ask yourself "how the FUCK did she update this FIVE DAYS A WEEK"

- the characters are wonderful and endearing. i just, i love them so much. i am so thankful lalli hotakainen exists he is one of my #1 blorbos forever

- the world is so cool. the blend of chunky sci-fi and norse mythology fantasy magic slaps. it goes so hard. i fell so hard for this comic when i got to the big ferry ship with a viking style dragon head prow added to it. it's everything

- it really really gets nordic cultures. it's difficult to explain all the dynamics and nuances but it just gets it. it brings me as a scandinavian a lot of joy to read a story that speaks to my heart this way. the attitudes, the language barriers, the cultural differences... it was so refreshing to me in a media landscape dominated by american stories. when the pandemic hit, i decided to reread the comic because i found such an odd comfort in seeing how it depicted the scandinavian countries reacting to, well, a pandemic.

- there's kittycats

what i don't like about it:

- the most glaring and obvious flaw is that everyone in the comic is white. there's not a single character of color anywhere, not even i background shots or the prologue. there's no mention of the saami people (the indigenous people of northern europe), either. i believe this was done in ignorance more than malicious intent, but the implications are Extremely Bad and it's been bothering me (AND MANY OTHERS) since day 1. that is the number one caveat i will give to anyone wanting to check this comic out. i've been in the discourse trenches and i am not going to excuse this. it's just bad!

- you can tell in the middle of adventure 2 that the creator has kind of lost interest in the work, around the time when she found jesus i guess. like, very few people can keep up work on the same creative project for years and years and years and i think it's fine that she wanted to drop it, but it's a bit sad to see the comic dragged to its end like a limp corpse, and feeling like the creator no longer really cares about the characters.

- minna sundberg has said and done some questionable things, presumably gotten somewhat radicalised over time, and has also converted to hardcore christianity which is what her new works are about. there's nothing about this in SSSS - there is a moment of christianity represented in the story in a sort of mythological sense, just like the other religions, but this was written before minna's conversion. her new works... are a Choice. i have much to say about them, and i have, and im not gonna rehash it now.

SO YEAH hopefully this will help you take an Informed Choice! i got into this comic in 2015 and was deep in the fandom and it's for better or for worse part of my soul foundation now.

i also recommend A Redtail's Dream, minna's "practice comic" before SSSS, based on finnish mythology and the kalevala.

#stand still stay silent #might as well tag this if i wanna dig it up later

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hairrington · 2 years

Text

Without A Clue

Summary: Steve is into you. Really, really into you. The only problem is that everybody seems to know it but you. It’s not until you get dragged into the Upside Down that you finally start to see just how much he cares about you. Female reader hurt/comfort in which reader is clueless to Steve’s feelings! Requested by anon. Some canon divergence. CW: blood/injury. Gif credit to hawkinsindiana.

The rowboat was bobbing in the middle of Lovers Lake with the five of you inside, but it rocks even more when you stand.

"Whoa, what are you doing?" Steve asks.

"The gate should be down there, right?" you say. "We have only one way to know for sure."

"You're jumping... in there?" Eddie asks, staring into the black water.

"I'll go," Steve urges.

"You snooze, you lose, Harrington," you say, peering over the corner, adrenaline coursing through your veins.

"Damn, (Y/N) has guts," Robin says with an impressed scoff.

"(Y/N), seriously," Steve mumbles.

"I'll be fine, Steve," you say. "Hate to brag, but I have great lung capacity." You give him a proud smile before plunging into the cold lake.

As you pump your arms through one breast stroke after another, deeper and deeper into the still water, you think about how you got here in the first place.

It all started with a part-time job at the arcade. One lunch break, you decided to kill time in the video rental store next door. You figured it was better than sitting in the arcade’s depressing break room.

Standing in the Sci Fi section, your eyes travelled over the spines of the VHS tapes. You noticed movement near you and looked up to catch a handsome man's eyes. The next second, you noticed his uniformed vest and name-tag.

"Looking for any recommendations?" he asked.

Normally, you would've said you were just browsing, but the guy was too sweet to turn away.

"Sure," you answered.

"Anything in particular you look for in a sci fi flick?" he asks, raising an arm to rest on the top shelf.

"Hmm, lots of action," you say.

"Adrenaline junkie?" he asks.

"You could say that," you answer.

"Well," Steve says, lips pursed. "You might like...” His eyes landed on a tape. “Somewhere In Time. Maybe. I don't know. To be honest, I'm trying to look like I'm good at my job in front of my boss."

You laughed, amused by this rambling stranger whose nametag you could now read: Steve. Sure enough, way at the front counter, a long-haired man stared daggers into the employee’s back.

"So, Steve,” you said. “I should look like I'm getting a lot of valuable information from you.” You began nodding and looking at Steve seriously, knowing you were being watched.

"Thank you," he said with a relieved smile.

"I get it," you said. "I got one of those types of managers next door."

"Oh, you work at the arcade?" Steve asked.

“Yes,” you joked. You had put a cardigan over the itchy t-shirt you were forced to wear, put pointed to the small fraction of words on the shirt. “And I swear, time actually stops there.” Steve half-smirked.

“I thought it’d be fun to work over there.”

“I hear pinball machines in my sleep,” you said seriously, making Steve smirk again. “So, to make you look good, I should probably rent something out, huh?”

“I’ll owe you one,” Steve replied.

After that, you visited the video store way more often than you needed to, befriending both Steve and Robin and enjoying the laughs and customer horror stories you’d shared with them. They’d visit you, too, trying their hand at some of the arcade games and actually getting pretty good at them.

When you noticed some of the kids you saw at the arcade visiting the video store speaking with Steve and Robin with low tones and serious expressions, your curiosity got the best of you. And suddenly, you were immersed in the stories of the Upside Down - unbelievable, scary, but incredible stories.

Funny enough, as you dive deeper into the lake, Steve is thinking back to the first time you met, too.

"That's it, I'm going in," he says, staring at the water and shaking his head.

"Cool it, Romeo," Robin says. "It's been like ten seconds. Have some faith in her." Steve rolls his eyes at his friend’s incessant teasing about his crush on you.

"It's the monsters I don't have faith in, Robin," Steve complains.

Meanwhile, you had reached the bottom of the lake and encountered the red, otherworldly entrance to the dimension you’d heard so much about. If you weren’t underwater, you’d have gasped.

After swimming your way back up, your hands find the rim of the boat and you take in a big gulp of air. Steve is not much of a religious person, but when he sees you alive and well, he silently thanks God.

“So, there’s definitely a portal down there,” you breathe out, gazing between Steve, Eddie, Robin and Nancy, their faces lit up by the moon. The cold air presses up against your wet skin.

“Glad we settled that,” Steve says. “Get back in.”

“Yes, sir,” you chuckle. But when you set to lunge forward, instead, you feel a tight pressure around your leg. You let out a shriek before it pulls you down, filling your lungs with water.

Fear boils deep into your bones as you watch the surface get farther away, gasping for air but only gulping in water.

Once air reaches you again, it's thick and smoggy. You lie on your front on the hard, rocky ground, gasping to breathe. Heart pounding, you look up to see red skies and disjointed rocks.

Is this the Upside Down?

You find the strength to get on your knees, still gasping and feeling the sting of water in your nose and throat.

High-pitched shrieking startles you as horrifying bat-like creatures lunge right for you. Burning pain rips through your shoulder when you realize one the creatures has dug its teeth into your skin.

You scream out, grabbing for it and pulling it off, the pain gruesome and nearly debilitating. You stomp on it, missing a few times, but successfully knocking it out.

When you were pulled down, Steve didn't hesitate. He dove headfirst in the water, fully clothed, knowingly and urgently swimming down into the dangerous world you had been pulled into.

You hear your name being shouted and you frantically look around, finally landing on Steve.

"Duck!" he screams, and you obey, narrowly missing another demon bat.

Nancy, Robin, and Eddie appear shortly after, the group of you swinging and strangling and stomping the bats. In the tussle, you feel fangs dig into your leg above your ankle, and you choke out a sob, continuing to fight for your life.

Finally, the last bat lets out a spine-chilling groan, lifeless on the ground.

Heaving, you all walk towards each other to form a haphazard circle, your ankle and shoulder burning.

"You alright?" Steve asks, primarily looking at you.

"Never better," you breathe, wincing. The shrieks of demobats return and to your horror, a hoard of them appear in the sky nearby.

"Over there!" Nancy points. You all follow her lead, running into the dark woods. Unfortunately, your newfound injury makes you limp far behind, and when Steve notices how far back you are, he turns towards you.

He runs your way and scoops you up, cradling you in his arms. You brace his sweater for stability, cotton bunching up under your fingers. Steve pants as he runs and you look up at him, his eyebrows furrowed as he gazes ahead.

The five of you find shelter in the murky forest full of tangled, disjointed branches. Steve slowly lowers you, strong hands still on your waist as you find your footing.

You feel faint, but don't want to show it and cause panic. Sure enough, though, you can't hide it from Steve.

"Is it bad?" he asks, breath hot on your neck.

"It's not good," you admit.

"Is it your leg?" Robin asks. Steve rounds you, giving you a chance to put all your weight on your feet. The burning in your ankle is still vicious, and you're still a bit drowsy, but it doesn't hurt as bad to stand.

"I guess one of those things got me," you mumble, looking up from your foot to your shoulder. "Twice."

"You shouldn't have jumped in the water," Steve mumbles. You roll your eyes, but he doesn't notice as he’s too busy pulling his yellow sweater off of his shoulders, revealing his torso.

"If I didn't jump, you would've," you answer. "So what difference does it make?" He gazes at the blood on your shoulder, the ash over your face, and it pains him to his core to see you so wounded.

Steve steps closer to you, looking down at his sweater as he rips it.

"I'd rather be the one cut up like this than you," Steve says at a volume only loud enough for you to hear.

"What kind of survival instinct is that, Harrington?" you tease. You look up at Robin to share an amused look, but she's only looking at you two empathetically.

"We'll catch up," Steve calls back to the other three over the sound of fabric ripping in his hands. "Just don't walk too fast."

Robin only shrugs in agreement and slowly makes her way in the forest with Nancy and Eddie.

Screeching and howling in the distance fills your ears as Steve takes one half of the sweater in his hands, the other tucked under his elbow.

"But that was such a nice sweater," you say quietly, trying to earn a smile from Steve. It doesn't take.

"I don't care about the sweater," he says.

You're close enough to see the wrinkles his forehead makes when he winces as he wraps the fabric around your shoulder. The pressure against the wound stings, and you recoil.

"Shit, sorry," he says. "We just have to put pressure on it, okay?"

"I know," you whisper, nodding quickly. "Do what you have to do."

He tightens the fabric around your arm up to your shoulder, tying a knot at your shoulder blade. You find a place to focus your eyes, and it just so happens to be his chest, peppered with tufts of hair.

Then your eyes travel up to his face. His very concerned looking face.

"Steve, jeez, you look..." Worried isn't quite the word. It's not strong enough. "Distraught. It's okay! I didn't die."

"You got hurt, though," he answers, bending down with the other half of the fabric, investigating the gash on your ankle. "Can you hold onto me?"

You oblige, moving your good arm to grip his firm, naked shoulder. You stare down at Steve, hair tousled, as he creates a tourniquet around your ankle.

Finally, Steve rises to his feet, towering over you with frantic eyes.

"Thanks for patching me up," you say. "Now stop looking so worried."

"(Y/N), we care about you, okay?" he says quietly. "I care about you. I can't... I can't see you get hurt." Steve sighs, cupping your shoulders, grip loose on the bad shoulder. "You don’t see how much you matter to me? Don't you get it?"

His eyes skitter away, then return to yours. Steve's so close, smelling of sweat and cologne.

"Get what?" you ask.

Your eyes travel his face, waiting for an indication of what he's talking about.

"I don’t know when I wanted to do this but this is definitely not the time. We should go," Steve says, words rushed. He’s nervous. You’ve never seen Steve nervous. "Are you okay to walk?"

The confusion of the last five seconds sends your head spinning, so all you can do is nod. No need for Steve to carry you again, no matter how comforting it was. And no need to make a joke about it, because whatever happened between you just shifted everything.

How much you matter to him? This isn’t the time? What the hell is he talking about?

Sure, you’d been friends for a few months now and of course a person cares about their friends, but as you make your way through the woods, careful not to roll your ankle, you can’t get the soft, meaningful way Steve was looking at you out of your head.

Steve marches in front of you, listening for your footsteps to make sure you’re okay, but unable to bear turning around to look at you again. He's too nervous that he's ruined everything with you.

As much as he likes you, your obliviousness has frustrated him to no end.

Whenever he’d ask to hang out outside of work, you’d ask if Robin was coming, too. Whenever he complimented you, you’d roll your eyes and assume he was joking. Whenever he’d go above and beyond to show he cared about you, you’d smile in that sweet way you always did, too stubborn to see that he was falling for you.

Robin had been telling him to just give it to you straight. But right now? In this squalid forest in the Upside Down? Not the time to just spill it out to you.

You stare at his bare back as you follow him, watching the dips and valleys of his muscles, and you’re not sure if he’s mad or just stressed out. You feel like you’re missing an important piece to the puzzle, but you’ve searched everywhere and the piece simply isn’t there.

“Hey, guys,” Eddie says as you approach the group. “Anyone know how much longer we have to walk through literal hell?”

“We’re close,” Nancy says matter-of-factly.

“(Y/N), you alright?” Robin asks, eyes darting between you and Steve. He finally turns around, concerned eyes boring into you.

“Yeah,” you say. “Thank you, Steve.”

He gives you a genuine smile, albeit small, and turns back around. Robin meets your eyes again and you mouth “I don’t know” to her with a shake of your head. She looks like she wants to say something, but doesn’t.

When you reach the Wheeler house, you’re grateful to see that at least couches exist in this alternate dimension. At this point, the ache in your ankle is sharp again, and you desperately need a break.

As the others go upstairs and explore the house, you sink into the living room couch and trying to even your breathing. Guilt finds its way into your core when you think back to Steve’s frantic eyes and shaking hands. He was terrified for you.

A minute passes, and when you hear the four of your group members talking upstairs, you grab the armrest, pushing yourself up onto your feet. The break helped.

As you go towards the noise to find the group, quick footsteps hammer down the stairs and you get to the staircase to find that Steve has just reached the bottom.

“Hey, you alright?” he asks.

“Just took a little break,” you say. “Steve, I’m sorry that I scared you.”

“Hey,” Steve whispers. He can’t take the sad expression on your face - the way your mouth turns down and the way your eyelids drop kills him. “You didn’t do anything wrong. There’s nothing to apologize for. I’m sorry I freaked out.”

You swallow hard and nod, looking up the staircase in the dark, musky house.

“You can hold my hand if you want to,” Steve says gently, and you take it without hesitation, his palm calloused and warm. Your heart races at the intimate gesture.

When you make it to the bedroom, Robin takes note of you and when her eyes dart to your hand clasped in Steve’s, you swear that she smiles for a second.

Being guided by Dustin’s echoing voice from the world you’re desperately trying to get back to, the five of you stare at an orb of light, debris floating menacingly. You kneel in front of the light, and when you lose grip with Steve’s hand, you’re surprised to realize how empty you feel without his touch.

After staring at the light for a few moments, an idea pops into your head.

“Trace with your finger,” you say quietly to nobody in particular, and when Nancy tries and it works, the others gasp in disbelief.

“Good one, arcade girl,” Robin says, amazed. You grin at your friend.

When you realize you have to make it to Eddie’s trailer, dread fills your body. You’re not sure if you can walk again. But when you discover that you can bike there, you’re much more up for the task. You make it to the trailer soon after, relieved knowing you’re one step closer to getting home.

Breaking any and all laws of physics, the five you climb and somehow fall at the same time into the right version of the world. Breathing in normal air brings you a wave of comfort.

You all take a second to inhale and exhale and let it sink in that you’ve made it back. You gaze up at the portal that separates you from the terrifying world you’d been attacked in.

Then, you look to your aching shoulder to see that your blood has soaked through Steve’s sweater. Dread crawls up your back. Your impulse is find Steve’s eyes next, and when you do, you see that he’s chewing on his bottom lip as he stares at your shoulder.

“(Y/N) needs to get to the hospital,” Steve announces, more so to himself than anyone else. You’ve been successfully softening the magnitude of your injuries, but now, seeing that much blood and feeling as faint as you feel, you can finally agree with Steve’s uneasiness.

“Get them home,” Steve says to Robin, Steve, and Eddie, motioning to the kids. “And I’ll get her to a doctor.”

“Steve, the neighbor two trailers down has one of those magnet key boxes,” Eddie says, glancing between you two. “Under his front left tire. I’ve... taken it for a spin a few times. I swear, the old guy sleeps like a rock. He’s never caught me.”

“We can’t steal someone’s car,” you say, wary.

“We’ll borrow it,” Steve says, nodding to Eddie. “We’ll take anything we can get now. You need a doctor.”

You’re too tired to argue.

“And you probably need a shirt, dingus,” Robin comments. Steve looks down and nods quickly, so distracted by your state of need that he can’t think of anything else.

After Eddie lends Steve a plain black t-shirt, the two of you pace to the neighbor’s Ford in silence. You settle into the pick-up truck, feeling throbbing in your shoulder.

“How’s the ankle?” Steve asks once he slides into the driver’s seat. The engine comes to life when he turns the key.

“Better than the shoulder,” you say.

Steve exhales deeply, and when you glance over at him, you notice his hands are shaking on the steering wheel.

The two of you make it out of the neighborhood and onto a main road that you recognize.

He’s scared. He’s so, so scared. In the Upside Down - hell, even in the Russians’ bunker, he was more calm than he is now. He can’t stand to see you in danger like this.

Street lamps plunge you in and out of light.

The pain and the fatigue hits you like a train, and you feel hot tears build in your eyes. You can’t hold them back and they slip down your cheeks, letting out quiet sniffles.

"Oh no, baby, please don’t cry,” Steve whispers, the pet name slipping out and immediately embarrassing him. “We've got like... not even ten minutes, okay?"

"I'm just tired," you mumble.

"It's okay. We're getting you to a hospital. It's okay."

In his time working at Family Video, Steve had seen his fair share of drama films. And one thing he remembers about when someone is seriously injured: keep them talking.

"Talk to me about something else," Steve tells you. "Anything."

"I'm really glad I have tomorrow off," you mumble. It makes Steve chuckle, and you smile to yourself. "Finally, I get you to laugh. You've been so serious all night. It's unlike you."

You think back to how courageous Steve was in the Upside Down. He was like an action hero.

"But seriously, you were kind of amazing down there, Harrington," you mumble honestly.

Steve feels his cheeks get warm. How can you say things like that and not realize what it does to him?

"Yeah, I know," he quips, making a right turn. Only a few blocks left.

"Humble as always," you mumble, feeling your eyelids getting heavier. Steve looks over at you.

"Do me a favour?" he says.

"Hmm?"

"Keep your eyes open?"

You sigh, forcing your eyes open.

"Yes, sir," you tease.

"So, what would you have done tomorrow? With your day off? Tell me everything you're thinking." Steve asks.

"I was planning on catching up on sleep," you tell him. You think of your home. Your bed. Your mom works nights, so you'd probably wake up when she's already back home and sleeping. At least you know she left for work before you set out of the house tonight, so she has no idea that you spent your evening fighting inter-dimensional monsters.

"I'd have a quiet morning," you continue. "My mom would already be back in bed, so I'd watch the tv on low. Then I was thinking of dropping by Hawkins' best video store."

"Best, huh?" Steve asks. He loves when you come into store. Hearing the door jingle and looking to see you walking through it always gives him happy goosebumps.

"I know a guy. Gives all the best recommendations."

"Sounds... not true."

"Okay, yeah, I lied," you say. "But his boss knows all the girls come in just to see him so he keeps him around."

"They do?" Steve chuckles.

"Don't play clueless, Harrington," you tease, fighting to keep your eyelids up.

Steve shakes his head to himself. If only you knew how clueless you were about how much he likes you.

"How's it driving?" you ask.

"Higher up than I'm used to," Steve answers with a nervous chuckle. He goes through a green light. "But okay."

"It smells like peanuts in here," you say. Steve laughs. "Hey, you said to tell you everything I'm thinking."

"I'm glad you are," Steve says.

"I can't believe that this car is stolen right now."

"Borrowed."

"You stole a car for me," you say.

"I'd do anything for you," Steve replies.

This sends your heart fluttering. Even in your drowsy state, you recognize the weight of his words.

"Remember when we met and I rented out that movie just to make you look good to Keith?" you ask.

"I was thinking about that actually," Steve says. "Earlier tonight." He thinks back to watching the water in Lovers Lake, praying you'd come back up to the surface.

"You said you owed me one."

"Yeah?"

"With everything you did tonight, consider it paid back. Like, tenfold."

"All I did tonight was freak out," Steve says.

One thing you know for sure about Steve after months of being friends with him: he likes to pretend to be cocky, but in reality, he can never take credit for how good of a guy he is.

"We're here," he announces, pulling into the hospital parking lot. You breathe a sigh of relief.

After checking in and claiming it was a stray dog that attacked you - "close enough", Steve had said to you privately - you were waiting in the small hospital room.

You assumed Steve would've wanted to stay in the waiting room, but he offered to come with you, and it made you feel much less nervous.

You sit at the end of the hospital bed, and Steve is settled in a chair a few feet away from you, leg shaking rapidly. You look at him, his brown hair hanging over his forehead, chin resting in his hand, concerned eyes glued to you. His jeans and shoes are dirty and look funny with the clean borrowed t-shirt. You stare at each other, wordless.

In this moment, Steve can't think of anything more important in this world than you.

"So we got a dog bite here?" you hear a voice. You look up to see a woman in a lab coat enter through the door, with a nurse following close behind.

"Ye- yes," you mumble.

"Okay, let's take a look."

You peel off the soaked, ripped sweater Steve had given you, wincing at the pain. The doctor quickly examines it and looks at you.

Steve watches, heart ripped in two.

"You'll need stitches and antibiotics," the doctor explains to you. "We have anesthesia so the area will be numbed, alright?" the doctor explains.

"Okay," you repeat.

After the wound is cleaned and the numbing gel is applied, you look to Steve again. Remembering what he said back in the Upside Down in the Wheelers' home, you give him a weak smile.

"You can hold my hand if you want to," you say to him. Steve exhales with a smile, standing next to you, fingers interlacing with yours.

You don't look when the doctor puts in the stitches. After they check out your ankle and determine it doesn't need stitches, they clean and wrap it in gauze. The doctor then does a general check-up and determines that your blood loss level doesn't require extra attention, so you're okay to go home.

"But drink water and stay off your feet," she instructs. "And I'll see you soon to get those stitches out." The doctor looks to Steve. "Make sure she takes it easy and takes her antibiotics, okay?"

He nods with a serious expression, taking his mission to heart.

When you exit the hospital and get back into the pick-up truck, Steve takes a moment to hold his head in his hands and sigh deeply.

"I like you so much," he says quietly. He can't keep it in any longer.

You swallow hard, staring at him. His head is still in his hands, fingers in his messy hair.

"Wh- what?" Your voice is small. Disbelieving.

Steve drops his hands to his lap and looks at you. In the dark pick-up truck, the shadows aren't too stark, but you wish you could see his eyes better. See if what he's telling you really is true.

"I thought it was so obvious." He half-chuckles. Your eyes travel over his face. The weird comments about you not getting it, his anxiety over your injuries, the way he takes care of you. It all makes sense. The last puzzle piece clicks into place.

Your stomach numbs at your friend's confession. He likes you. And within the next millisecond, you realize you like him back.

"Watching you get hurt... I can't explain it, (Y/N). It kills me," he says. "I care about you so much. I can't keep it in anymore."

"Why did you?" you ask with a smile. "Keep it in, I mean."

"Waiting for the right moment?" he explains. "Waiting for you to see it yourself?"

"You'd be waiting forever," you tell him. "I'm clueless." Steve chuckles, dipping his head. "I'm clueless and I like you, too."

His head darts up - eyes big and smile bigger.

"Yeah?" Steve's tone is adorably excited.

"I thought it was so obvious," you tease. "Are you going to kiss me or what?"

He's gentle when his lips find yours. No matter how hungry he is for this, for you, no matter how long he's wanted to kiss you, he's soft and slow with it. He wants to take his time, especially because you're injured.

His mouth is warm, a wonderful change from the cold bitterness of everything that took place tonight.

To Steve, kissing you is unlike how he imagined. It's somehow even better. And while he kisses you, he knows when he says he likes you, he really means love. But he'll save that word for a time when you've wrapped your head around everything that's happened tonight.

Steve pulls back, forehead pressed against yours, eyes closed.

"Sorry I'm clueless," you whisper. Steve laughs the sweetest laugh.

"Can I be your boyfriend?" he asks. Your heart swells.

"Yes," you reply, unable to think of any better way to say it.

"I want to stay here forever, but you need sleep and medication," he whispers back.

"Yes, sir," you sarcastically scoff.

Steve smiles below the next kiss he gives you and pulls back to start the car.

The entire ride home, you stare at your boyfriend's profile. He squints as he drives, previously shaky hands now steady. One hand is on your knee, and you hold it tightly, knowing that whatever is to come, you have someone looking out for you.

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