#if you can guess which anime character is forcing her expression on steve here you get a cookie

[cloudbells]

Chronicles of a girl who has zero clue how to draw hair

Also I'm getting better. There were like 5 other (worse) versions of this same drawing before this one. I know the perspective is off (why can we see the back of his neck with a side view user cloudbells????) amongst various other things but it's IMPROVEMENT and I'll take it.

#me my mine #if you can guess which anime character is forcing her expression on steve here you get a cookie #i'm so easily influenced by the shows i used to watch i can't ever escape them #also why is the image quality so shitty all of a sudden??? #art wip #i stayed up all night again oops and i have PLANS today and now i want to cancel all of them #SEXY ART CHRONICLES #my art #same warning this mught end up deleted!!

[nattikay]

So I saw this post while browsing toa tags the other day. While I don’t think being obsessed with the school mascot automatically makes Toby a furry (though it is funny to joke about lol) since “being a furry” actually just means “being a fan of anthropomorphic animals” and doesn’t necessarily require any form of costuming or interest in such, it did get me thinking, hmmm...if he was a furry, what would his fursona be? 🤔 And from there I started wondering what Jim’s and Claire’s would be as well because y not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

BUT WAIT, I hear you say--haven’t you already drawn the trio as werewolves and wolfwalkers etc.? Wouldn’t those be their fursonas??

Well yes....but actually no.

I guess it’s a little hard to explain, but there’s a nuance between “[person] but as an animal” and a proper “fursona”. While a fursona is an animal character used to represent its person, it doesn’t have to physically resemble them at all as you would expect [person]-but-as-[animal] to. For example, if you were to design me but as a cat, you’d probably give it light brown fur and green eyes like I have irl. But my fursona, unlike my human self, actually has blue fur and purple eyes. You can give your fursona matching physical traits to your own if you want to, and some people do, but most use only a pinch of their irl appearance, if any at all.

The choices people make when designing their fursonas vary wildly from “it looks like me irl” to “it looks like who I want to be”  to “I just really like this color scheme” to “this particular color/marking holds deep personal meaning to me” to “this particular pattern represents a particular defining moment in my life” to “idk it looks cool and i vibe with it” etc. etc. etc. Everyone has different reasons of varying depth for the decisions they make in designing their fursona.

Therefore, to design a fursona for Toby etc., it’s less a question of “what would this character look like as [insert species here]?” and more of “how would this character choose to present himself with his own [animal] character?”

And that’s a much trickier game than just transferring a character aesthetic to a new species. ^^; We have to kinda dive into the characters and makes some guesses about how they, if given infinite creative freedom to design an animal avatar with no rules or limits, would choose to present themselves.

So all that said, here’s what I came up with:

Starting with Toby because he’s the one who inspired the post. I think Toby might choose a wolfdog fursona. A lot of people who choose wolves as fursonas consider themselves to be overwhelmingly loyal to their friends, a trait that fits Toby very well. However, while Toby likes to be “cool”, I don’t think he really thinks of himself as much of an “alpha” type--he’s more of a sidekick, and he knows that, and he’s ok with that. He’s the wingman. So what better way to incorporate that than to add dog into the mix? Man’s best friend=Jim’s best friend. Sociable, humorous, and unwaveringly loyal. Wolfdog it is!

With the species decided, we can move on to the design itself.

I can’t imagine any form of Toby in anything other than warm colors. This is extra emphasized by the flamelike patterns on his legs and tail, which both speaks to his desire to be totally awesome-sauce as well as acts as an allusion to his flaming warhammer. It’s fairly common (not universal, but common) for people to give their fursonas a more “ideal” physique than the person actually has as a sort of way to live by proxy physical goals or fantasies they’ve been unable to attain irl for whatever reason. Given that we’ve seen Toby struggle with fitness from time to time, it wouldn’t shock me to see him take this route. His wolfdog self is still relatively short and stocky, but it’s all muscle, babey. 

This fursona is strong, fun, boisterous, and generally just kicks butt. Concentrated awesomesauce flows through his veins. Just don't mess with his friends, or you’ll feel the flames!

.

Moving on to Jim. Jim was the hardest to nail down, and most definitely the hardest to keep my personal biases out of oof. Which I may have failed to do anways because yes, ok, I made my favorite character a blue feline, sue me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  But hear me out first!

For Jim I ultimately settling on a cheetah/lion hybrid.

Cheetahs, in a way, are sort of the underdogs (er...cats?) of the feline world--at least, in their local ecosystems. They are built wholly for speed, not strength--and as such, just about every other large predator in their environment has them beat when it comes to raw strength. Remind you of a certain Trollhunter? plus the long lanky legs. don’t forget those lol

However, because of this disadvantage, cheetahs...usually surrender. They know it’s not worth it to defend their kill from larger, stronger opponents, so they’ll give it up and just catch something else. This aspect doesn’t quite fit our protective, selfless protagonist all too eager to risk everything to save his loved ones--so a pure cheetah may not be the right choice.

So what animal is brave and protective? That’s where the lion part comes in, of course!

Why not just make him a pure lion? Well, a little similar to making Toby a wolfdog instead of a pure wolf. A straight-up lion feels a little too “chad” for our sweet Jimbo. Too much of a jock. 

Jim has the humble underdog nature of a cheetah as well as the bravery and fierce protective drive of a lion. Cheelion? Leetah? idk, but let’s design it!

Like Toby and warm colors, I don’t think I can possibly associate Jim with any color but blue. While it’s never directly stated, given that we’ve never really seen him wear any other color (with the exception of the Eclipse armor), I think it’s pretty safe to assume that that’s his favorite. Blue sweater, blue jeans, blue shoes, even his backpack and bedsheets are blue. So naturally, his fursona would be predominantly blue as well! Plus some yellowish accents to (somewhat) match the natural colors of his chosen species(s).

I imagine he originally designed the character without horns, but then added them after becoming the Trollhunter, since it became such a major and impactful aspect of his life.

His lion’s mane also continues down his back in imitation of the “mantle” found on baby cheetahs. This youthful feature could subtly represent the fact that he’s been forced to grow up too fast and take on so much responsibility so young--so his fursona can still be young and carefree as long as he likes even while his real self struggles with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

This fursona is relaxed, calm, and confident. He’s not just cool--he’s crispy!

.

Lastly but not leastly, we have Claire. Out of the three, I think Claire was actually the easiest to choose--or at least, I had the clearest idea of what I thought she might go for.

Claire is a bit of an interesting duck, because while she’s shown to be fairly popular at school, she’s definitely far from the stereotype of The Popular Girl™. Yes she’s smart and pretty, but she’s also a little spunky or even a bit quirky--she’s a theatre kid, she’s a huge fan of hard rock band Papa Skull, and while I wouldn’t quite call her “rebellious” per se, she’s certainly willing to bend some rules if she feels the situation calls for it (not telling her parents that she was going to the concert with Steve, literally sneaking into Jim’s basement to try to find out what was up with him, etc).

That said, I think Claire might go for a hyena fursona--something a little out of the box, but not totally out of left field. (she also shows a slight Gurl Power™ streak here and there “the staff was not meant to be wielded by man--” “I am not a man!!!”) and if you know anything about hyenas...well, yeah lol)

I think Claire would lean into her punk-rock “rebellious” side with her fursona design. This character is completely free of the pressure of being the councilwoman’s daughter and having to maintain her mother’s public reputation, and thus allows Claire to express a less restrained side of herself. She has a bold semi-edgy color scheme with bright accents (and some earrings to match her person’s hair clips) while still remaining feminine and (her own brand of) fashionable. 

This fursona is spunky and sassy; she’s spicy and sweet all rolled up into one. She knows what she wants and she’s not afraid to chase it down. She lives her own life and she’s dang proud of it.

.

....sooooo yeah there’s my take on what Toby’s, Jim’s, and Claire’s fursonas could hypothetically be. And I guess since this post was inspired by a joke about Toby’s infatuation with the school mascot, here’s just some quick thoughts on how they might approach fursuiting to end us off:

Jim I don’t see as much of a suiter. He might try it once or twice if given the opportunity, but at the end of the day it’s not really his cup of tea--he’d rather act as the “handler” for his friends, if anything.

Toby and Claire, on the other hand, I could definitely see as suiters. In fact, with her interest in acting, Claire would probably particularly enjoy it--she’d be one of those suiters who really gets into character, absolutely refuses to break the magic publicly (outside of any actual medical emergency), and popular at cons because she just performs so well. 

Toby, meanwhile, would be the more chill type--uses his normal voice in-suit, isn’t really too stressed about “breaking the magic”, just kinda hanging around like he would normally except “look I’m a talking dog, cool right?”. 

also while I was typing this it occurred to be that since Eli is canonically a cosplayer then he could be a fursuiter as well; in his case i imagine he actually made his own suit it’s a protogen and it’s full of little LEDs and other electric gadgets, it’s not the prettiest thing ever as sewing is not his forte but boy did he try!! good for him. good for him

#so anyways I put way too much thought into this...enjoy I guess? #trollhunters #tales of arcadia #toby domzalski #jim lake jr #claire nuñez #furry #my art

[nikibogwater]

Aight, loves, I’m only running on four hours of sleep here, but it’s time to Blether (bitterly)

Niki Blethers: Trollhunters: Rise of the Titans (SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT!)

Okay, um, how ‘bout we start with the good stuff first and then move into the Real Discussion.

Animation? Gorgeous. Even watching the movie on a janky iPad screen, I was blown away by the visuals.

Voice Acting: *chef’s kiss* I think this is easily Emile Hirsch’s best performance as Jim. And oh land, Colin O’Donoghue once again nails Douxie’s desperation, exhaustion, and sorrow. Give everybody an Oscar here, they deserve it.

Some of the emotional beats hit so hard. I can’t say all of them, unfortunately, but I was definitely in tears in a couple of places.

Dang, this movie did not screw around. It was extremely hard to watch the Arcane Order torturing Douxie and Nari, Nomura’s death, Jim breaking pretty much all of his ribs…I know whump fans are gonna have a good time with this.

Douxie body swapping with Nari was both viscerally uncomfortable and also made my heart bleed because oh my gosh Douxie you selfless king, c’mere and let me hold you, you brilliant boy. Also @sergeantsporks, how in the blue blazes did you predict that was coming.

Really great to see Barbara in the thick of things. I guess she and Strickler adopted out all the Darklands babies. I’m also so glad that Jim’s father wasn’t some important, mysterious person who left for a noble cause. The guy is just a deadbeat, and that’s all there is to it. It really helps build up the theme of Jim’s arc—that anyone, even the most unlikely people, can move past such challenges and be a hero.

The moments between Jim and his mom were wonderful. Very heartwarming.

DOUXIE BREAKING THROUGH BELLROC’S CONTROL OVER NARI WAS JUST 👌👌👌 LITERALLY EVERYTHING I WANTED FROM THAT SCENE.

MAGICAL SIBLINGS HUG AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! LOOK HOW RELIEVED HE IS, LOOK AT HOW MUCH HE LOVES HER, YA GIRL NIKI TOTALLY CALLED THEIR DYNAMIC!

Badass Nari with the Earth Titan lives in my brain rent-free now.

As much as I hated Nari’s death, I have to admit that Douxie’s response to it was appropriately heart-wrenching. The way he kept desperately calling her name, only to gasp it out once more when he realized she was gone—that was some good angst right there.

I still hate it, tho. 🙂

CHILDREN OF THE SUN, YEEEEEEAH!!! GET ‘EM, JIM!

Jim and Toby being both the beginning and the end for the series is so heartwarming. Honestly lost it over Toby’s death sequence and the way Jim was clinging to him and sobbing.

Okay, time to address the many elephants in the room:

M!Preg Steve should not have happened. Period. That wasn’t funny, that was disgusting, and honestly kind of insulting to the very real challenge of bearing children and giving birth. I’m sorry Dreamworks, but that is a hard no for me.

There were a handful of scenes where characters didn’t feel fully present, emotionally. Like, when the team realizes that Douxie is in the Order’s clutches….no one seems very worried? Like, guys, I know there’s a lot going on right now, but they literally killed him the last time he meddled in their affairs, why is nobody expressing any concern here? And when Douxie realizes he’s never going to see Archie again, he just kind of….shrugs it off? Bro, Archie is your Familiar, he practically raised you, and has been your one constant for nearly 1000 years, don’t you at least want to shed a tear or something? This isn’t anything major, but it was enough to break immersion for me in a few places. Just….why aren’t you guys emoting like you usually do?

I especially noticed this with Nari. She always seemed…really disconnected from everyone, which felt odd, because in Wizards, she very clearly cared about the others, and expressed genuine sorrow over Jim’s suffering and Merlin’s death. But here she seemed kind of….ditzy and out-of-it. Girl, why don’t you just tell Jim what to do. Use your words, I know you have them.

The ending. Oh. My. Gosh, that ending.

Let me make one thing clear here: I’m not averse to bittersweet endings. One of my favorite movies of all time is How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World. What I hate is the fact that this movie basically retconned the entire series.

These characters who we have loved and followed over the last few years, related to their struggles, took comfort from their triumphs—all of that is gone now, in terms of canon. Everything and everyone was reset, with the exception of Jim. That doesn’t feel bittersweet. That feels pointlessly cruel. And to make it even worse, it wasn’t reset in a way that would allow for everyone to live in much-deserved peace. The Order is still there, the trials and suffering of the series still have to be repeated—but hey, it’s fine, because at least Jim gets to live happily ever after!!!

I cannot fathom how in the blue blazes anyone thought this was an appropriate finale to this series. What was the point of all those adventures, all those relationships, all those struggles and triumphs, if you were just going to erase them at the end? It feels cynical, not bittersweet or conclusive.

This was….a very difficult morning for me. Most of you know that my passion and love for this series has been a huge driving force in my creative growth as an author and an artist. To have it turn so sour, so suddenly, right at the end of it all…I’m probably going to need some time to get over this.

That being said, I know the team behind the movie was under a lot of pressure. Tales of Arcadia is known for being innovative and breaking storytelling molds. I can understand their desire to take the ending in such a drastically different direction. But I don’t think it was the ending this series deserves.

However, I’m aware that this is all pretty subjective. If you loved the ending, please don’t let my take on it ruin that happiness. Just be aware that I will probably be ignoring this movie’s existence as I continue to create fan content. I love these characters too much to abandon the fandom altogether, don’t worry.

#tales of arcadia #toa #rise of the titans #rott spoilers

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Non-Sequential [Ch. 4]

Pairing: Pre-Serum Steve Rogers/Steve Rogers x Reader

One night, Steve Rogers met a beautiful dame named Y/N. He hadn’t intended on letting her get away. But fate had other ideas. Y/N appeared and disappeared in his life so hauntingly that Steve started to wonder if she was an angel meant to watch over him.

Word Count: 2,800

A/N: Inspired by the film The Time Traveler’s Wife. But not one of those fics that just literally rips off the whole movie and plugs in characters where they please.

Chapter 3

Y/N watched with an amused shyness as Steve moved about his room, grabbing clothes for her to wear. She kept the blanket tightly around her body. Losing her clothes was one of the many downsides of time traveling. It was embarrassing and awful, and it only made figuring out where and when she was that much more challenging and awkward.

“Here,” Steve held out a pile of his clothes for her.

“Thank you,” she replied. But instead of going to the bathroom, she started changing right there.

Steve quickly turned around, ever the gentleman.

“I should probably just get clothes for you to keep here,” he told her as his back remained to her.

“But I like wearing your clothes,” she admitted.

Steve turned around to see her in a part of his sweatpants and a t-shirt. He wanted to say that he liked her wearing his clothes too, but he held his tongue.

“Well, maybe some underwear…and a bra or two.” Y/N added honestly.

Even the most innocent mentioning of linger had Steve blushing.

Y/N let out a giggle at his obvious embarrassment.

The sound made Steve’s eye shoot right back to her face, as if he couldn’t bare to miss a single time she laughed or giggled, or even just smiled.

“It’s fine. I can probably ask Nat.”

“How old are you?” Steve asked.

She shrugged. “Still 20. It’s only been a couple months since I last saw you.”

Then Steve noticed something right below her left eye. His jaw clenched and he stepped forward quickly. “What happened?”

He’d lost enough fights and taken enough beatings to know what a fading bruise looked like.

However, Y/N jumped back in fear at his sudden approach. Almost like she was scared of him. The obviousness of it broke Steve’s heart.

She turned slightly away from him, trying to obscure his view of the area. “It’s nothing. I play soccer,” she told him quickly. “A girl elbowed me in the face during my last game.”

Steve stared into her y/e/c eyes, trying to find any indication that she was lying. “Did you win?” He finally asked.

Y/N smiled. “Of course.”

“I’ve missed you,” Steve sighed without meaning to. It had just slipped out. Seeing her smile, hearing her laugh… it entranced him all over again.

Y/N gulped at the sincerity in his words. “You did?”

“I’m always missing you. It feels like that’s all I ever get to do,” Steve admitted quietly.

“Steve, it’s your turn to decide on-” Wanda had barged into Steve’s room without thinking and stopped mid-sentence at the sight before her. “Oh, I’m sorry!”

“It’s OK, Wanda.” Steve assured her. “What were you saying?”

“It’s your turn to pick takeout,” Wanda said, more shy this time. But she couldn’t take her eyes off of Y/N.

It was impossible for Steve not to notice. “You two didn’t get to formally meet last time. Wanda, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is Wanda.”

Y/N stepped forward and offered her hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Wanda smiled at the girl’s politeness and shook her hand. But as soon as their skin touched, Wanda gasped slightly. “You…You’re special.”

“Not really,” Y/N immediately shut down.

Steve could see where this was going. “Wanda, why don’t you go ahead and pick takeout for me tonight? I think Y/N and I are going to keep to ourselves.”

But Wanda looked sad at the idea. “No! You can’t. You know the rules.”

Y/N looked at Steve worriedly. “The rules?”

Steve scratched the back of his neck. “We have family night once a month. Order takeout or cook. We rotate who gets to pick the food.”

“No one’s excused. It was Steve’s idea,” Wanda added with amusement. “And this month is his turn to choose.”

Steve was about to protest. He didn’t want to overwhelm Y/N. Everything about their relationship was already weird and confusing. He’d met her almost a hundred years ago and she had just met him for the first time a couple months ago. The last thing she needed was to be stressed out and interrogated by Earth’s mightiest heroes. But Y/N spoke before Steve could excuse them. “Sounds like fun!”

“Great! You gotta order the takeout in 5, Steve. Otherwise Sam and Tony might kill each other.” Then Wanda practically fluttered out the room.

Steve’s entire expression softened now that it was just him and Y/N again. “You sure about this? We really don’t have to go. The team can be… a lot.”

She smiled at his obvious concern for her. “Steve, I jump back and forth through time without ever know when it will happen, where I’ll end up, or how long I’m stuck there. Do you really think your friends scare me?”

Steve smirked at her sass. “You have a point there, now don’t you?”

“Plus, they’re not just your friends,” she added. “They’re your family too.”

He nodded slowly. “I guess I’m just being a little selfish.”

Y/N tilted her head. “What do you mean?”

“I just wanted you to myself.”

She giggled at that, making him instantly brighten a bit. “Sharing is caring, Steve.” Then she grabbed his hand. “Come on. I wanna meet the rest of them.”

Steve’s grip tightened around hers. Even the most innocent of touches made his heart beat faster. Sam’s words from earlier kept playing in his head and he tried his best to push them back.

The conversations stopped when the team saw Steve walk in with a girl’s hand in his. They didn’t even bother to be subtle about it.

“Guys – as some of you know – this is Y/N. Y/N, this is the team,” Steve introduced. Then he went down the line and introduced everyone individually.

It was Sam who came out of the group and hugged Y/N tightly. She laughed at his forwardness and didn’t take long to recover from the surprise.

“Alright, kid. We got beer in the fridge and if you want the heavier stuff, the bar is right over there,” Tony pointed out.

She smiled and nodded. “Beer sounds great.” When she started walking forward to follow Tony to the fridge, Steve opened his mouth to interrupt.

Sam saw it about to happen. “Leave her alone, Steve,” he muttered lowly so no one else would overhear. “Stop acting like your father and just hang out with her.”

Steve eyed him.

“She’s not a kid,” Sam added roughly. “Girl’s probably been drinking since she was 16.”

Steve sighed, knowing Sam had a point. Steve just couldn’t help but be overprotective.

To his shock, Y/N fit in with the group effortlessly. She wasn’t intimidated by the Avengers at all. Which just made Steve realize she saw them as people first, superheroes second. It gave him a relief that he didn’t know he needed.

When she seemed to be overwhelmed by any of it, she always found her way back to Steve’s side. It was like she was battery that needed to be charged and Steve was the electricity to do it.

Her effort to get to know his friends warmed his heart.

Slowly but surely, he realized she wasn’t as much of a kid as he kept forcing himself to believe. His mom always used to tell him that girl’s matured faster than boys, and men should just learn to keep up. But now he was could see it for himself.

It was later in the night now. Everyone had gone to bed now, except Sam, Nat, Steve, and Y/N. They had continued drinking on, even though Steve had yet to even feel a buzz.

He sat close to Y/N on the couch as the other two sat across from them on another one.

“Can I ask you a question?” Sam asked Y/N carefully, but there was animation in his eyes.

Steve watched her response closely.

Y/N smiled lazily. “Sure.”

“What’s the craziest thing you’ve seen?”

The question wasn’t meant to be intrusive. Sam asked it with awe, like her time traveling wasn’t a condition. She wasn’t a freak to Sam. Instead, she had a beautiful and magical gift.

Y/N took a giant swig of her mixed drink and cleared her throat. “I saw my own birth.”

Everyone was silent.

Y/N’s eyes went into a daze and she was mentally thrown back into the memory. “I showed up in a hospital closet. It was lucky – grabbed a pair a scrubs right there,” Y/N giggled. Then her eyes wandered off again. “I knew there had to be a reason for being there. I started walking down hallways, glancing into rooms every so often. Then I saw my dad at the end of a hallway. He had this panicked, yet excited, look on his face. He was younger, handsomer.” She smiled softly. “Then there was yelling and he rushed back into a room. That’s when I saw the date on a nearby patient’s log. It was my birthday. I saw them hold me in their arms. My parents looked…so happy. It’s strange seeing someone love you for the first time.”

She finally snapped back to the present. Nat, Steve, and Sam looked at her with wonderment.

“Sorry. I’ve never told anyone that before.” Y/N immediately shrunk into herself a bit, mistaking their reactions for discomfort.

“You don’t have to apologize,” Nat assured her.

Then Y/N looked to Steve and he had a shy, but encouraging, smile on his face.

Sam let out a huge yawn.

“Do you need to be put to bed?” Nat teased him.

“No, I can party all night!”

Nat rolled her eyes. “Stop acting like you’re a college frat star. Come on.” She got up and melodramatically pulled him to his feet.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Sam tugged against her. Then he turned around and practically tackled Y/N further into a couch with a hug.

Y/N giggled uncontrollably at it.

“I’m glad we finally got to hang with you,” Sam mumbled into her body.

“Me too,” she answered.

When Sam got up, Nat gave her a much less dramatic hug as well.

“Goodnight,” the two said to Y/N and Steve.

“You ready to go to bed too,” he asked her innocently, no hidden meaning behind his words. She nodded. “But will you stay and talk with me a bit more?”

He smiled immediately and nodded.

When they got to Steve’s bedroom, Y/N dramatically plopped herself on top of his bed, star-fishing the entire thing and staring up at the ceiling.

Steve couldn’t help but chuckle.

Y/N scouted over and faced him, then patted the other side of the bed for him.

Steve hesitated.

“Come on. Stop being so old-fashioned,” she teased.

He sighed, but did what she asked. He struggled with imagining a world where he wouldn’t do anything that Y/N asked.

Y/N laid on her said, one of his pillows tucked comfortably under her head. She tried to ignore how strongly it smelled of him. The scent was intoxicating. It just felt right.

She suddenly giggled for no reason.

Steve shook is head. “Is someone a little drunk?”

“Drunk? No. A little buzzed? Definitely. Don’t insult my tolerance, Steve.”

His smile dropped a little bit.

“You know, I’m not a kid,” she suddenly declared.

Steve’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“I know you feel like you have to look after me or that I’m this innocent teenage girl… You met me when you were 16. But I’m not 16, Steve. So stop acting like you’re going to corrupt me, OK?”

“What made you bring this up?”

“I just… I can feel you holding back. Like, you want to say things, but you won’t. Or you want to…” She stopped herself. “I don’t know.” Her eyes turned sad. “Are you scared of me?”

Steve frowned at the question. “Scared of you?” He repeated. “Why would I be scared of you?”

“I can’t always hide what I am to the people in my life. Sooner or later they find out. Some of them… it freaks them out. When they realize I know things about the future or truths about the past, they don’t want to be around me anymore.”

She couldn’t look at him now.

“Hey,” Steve whispered. Without being able to stop himself, he softly gripped her chin and made her look up at him. “You never, ever scare me, Y/N. You hear me?” He waited.

Y/N nodded reluctantly.

“What you’ll learn about the future or see in the past – well, I think it’s extraordinary.” Steve took in a deep breath.

Y/N’s eyes filled with tears and she scooted closer to bury her face into his chest. Steve instantly wrapped his arms around her waist.

They laid like that for some time.

Y/N pulled away, but remained just an inch or two away from Steve’s face.

“I have to tell you something,” she declared. “I…uhh…lied to you earlier.”

Steve waited patiently.

She gestured to the fading bruise on her face. “I didn’t get this from a soccer game.”

Steve’s gaze darkened. He wanted to ask for a name. He actually has to consciously stop himself from demanding it in a growl. But he knew that was the wrong approach to take. So he waited patiently for her to continue.

“I’ve been seeing this guy,” she began.

Steve swore his heart dropped to his stomach.

“He was drunk – we were both drunk. But he was far more than me. He kept trying to…” her words died down, but she knew Steve got what she was trying to say. “It’s not like we hadn’t before. But I told him no – said to stop. But he wasn’t listening. I tried to shove him off me. I know he didn’t mean to. But ended up knocking me in the face.”

Steve saw red. It took every fiber of his being to even control his breathing.  

His silence seemed to panic Y/N. “Steve, say something.”

“Has he hurt you before?” He finally spoke. She immediately shook her head. “No. And he won’t ever again. I’m done with him.”

Steve nodded. He knew he couldn’t tell her what to do or what not to do. She was a young independent woman.

“I’m sorry I lied to you,” she told him quietly. “I don’t know why I did that.”

“It’s OK, Y/N.” He rubbed comforting circles on her hip.

Silence again.

“Did he know…about you?” He asked.

“No,” she answered. “There was always – There was something missing with him. I knew not to trust him with that. I guess I knew it wouldn’t work out before it even really started.”

“Y/N,” he tried to choose his words carefully. He couldn’t dictate her life. “Promise me you won’t see him ever again.”

She chuckled at him.

“Why are you laughing?”

“You’re like my little protector. Well…” her eye’s grazed over his muscular shoulders and biceps, “little isn’t really the right word.”

Steve had the audacity to blush.

Y/N caught it and her face turned somber. “You worry about me a lot, huh?” She whispered.

Steve was quiet as he thought of how he wanted to respond.

“You were there for me when I needed someone the most. Always. You were always there.” He sighed. “I know it hasn’t happened for you yet, but I lived through it already.”

Then Steve reached forward and brushed his thumb against her cheekbone. “I’m always going to look after you.”

“As a friend?” Y/N challenged. She wanted him to say it was more. She needed him to confirm that he was feeling what she had been feeling since they day she met him.

Steve hesitated, but finally said, “For now.”

It wasn’t what she wanted to hear. But it didn’t completely discourage her like she feared. 

The next morning, Steve expected to wake up with Y/N disappeared, leaving a pile of clothes in her absence.

But she wasn’t gone. Instead, Y/N was still tucked against his side, sleeping peacefully. She was still with him, safe.

With the morning light dancing across her skin and her soft, even breaths tickling his skin, Steve finally accepted that he loved Y/N. He couldn’t keep repressing his feelings from the 30s, when he didn’t think they had a chance.

But he had just become a part of Y/N’s life while she had been with him for over 80 years. He couldn’t just thrust his feelings onto her. It wouldn’t be fair. 

So... he would wait. He’d be anything she needed him to be: a friend, a protector. He just hoped one day she’d see him as something more.

--------

Chapter 5

Sorry this took me longer than I wanted. I hadn’t had any time to write this week.  Let me know what you think!

I do not to taglists. Here is the series’ masterlist: Non-Sequential

#non-sequential series #non-sequential chapter 4 #pre-serum steve headcanon #pre-serum!steve rogers x reader #pre serum steve rogers #steve rogers fic #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers reade insert #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers angst #marvel reader insert

[steebrogurz]

Save Me (Part 1)

Summary: Bucky comes to your rescue during a fight with your boyfriend.

a/n: here is my submission for @sunmoonandbucky​’s 1.5K constellations writing challenge, and I really hope you all enjoy it. This will be part one of a new series I’m writing. Thank you so much for reading and let me know what you think I always love reading your thoughts and feedback :)

Characters: Bucky, Steve, Sam (eventually), minor characters

word count: 3941

Warnings: abuse, pregnancy, abortion,

My heart is racing in my chest as I sit in the corner booth of a cafe waiting for Alex to arrive. A steaming mug of tea and a muffin sit on the table in front of me but the thought of eating anything makes my stomach churn. Every time the door opens I look up to see if he’s here and I get a little bit more on edge when it’s not him. After about five more minutes I pull out my phone to text him and ask if he’s close when someone slides into the booth opposite me with a tight smile on his face.

“Hey, what’s going on? Your text said it was urgent,” Alex sits across from me shrugging off his light fall jacket. I take a moment to examine him. Sunglasses hang off the collar of his favourite band t-shirt. Locks of wavy blond hair fall into his eyes and he brings his hand up to push them back and he looks at me with a slightly worried expression.

We met on tinder and while I knew right from the start that we weren’t as compatible as either of us had hoped the sex was good so I agreed to a second date. Two months later we were still seeing each other.

My hands start to pull apart the muffin if only for something to do to distract me from my nerves. I open my mouth to try and talk but my throat closes around the words and I have to clear my throat to try again. “So I’m not exactly sure if there’s an easy way to say this so I’m just gonna say it,” I take a deep breath to steel myself and prepare for any kind of reaction. “I’m pregnant,” my voice wavers a bit as I say the two words I never thought I’d have to say and I watch for his reaction.

His worried expression changes to confusion. “How? We’ve always used a condom.”

“Well, condoms aren’t 100% effective.”

“Are you sure? Like, are you absolutely certain?”

I nod solemnly. “I mean I’m about a week late and I have a positive pregnancy test from this morning in my garbage so, yeah, I’m pretty certain.”

We sit in silence for a few more seconds as he digests the news. I was prepared for panic, frantic googling of what to do after getting pregnant, I even prepared myself for him to just get up and leave but I admit what happens next is not something I was expecting. A big smile slowly spreads across his face and his eyes light up. “This is amazing!” Alex pulls out his phone and starts typing rapidly. “Ok, there’s a lot we’ll need to do before the baby comes, but first thing’s first, you need to meet my parents. My mom will be so happy she’s been hinting at grandchildren for a while now.” He chuckles to himself and continues to talk about baby showers, whether we should find a new apartment together or if I should just move in with him, completely unaware of my own stunned and panicked expression.

“Alex,” I voice cracks as I say his name, he doesn’t hear me so I try again. This time I reach out and push his phone down forcing him to look at me. “Alex, stop.”

He stops talking and gives me a puzzled look. “What?”

“I’m not keeping the baby,” I say as firmly as I can. “I’m only telling you so you can, I don’t know, come with me, maybe.”

His smile disappears from his face and I can see shock and anger spark in his hazel eyes. “What do you mean you’re not keeping the baby?!” He demands. “You can’t do that! Don’t you need my consent or something?” His voice climbs in volume and I’m suddenly very aware of the other people around us.

“Keep your voice down,“ I plead looking around to see if we’ve caught anyone’s attention. “And I don’t need your consent but I’d be nice if I had your support but if you can’t give me that then we should just end things now and get on with our lives. I’ll do this by myself if I have to.” I grab my purse and sweater as I slide out of the booth, leaving the torn up muffin and untouched tea behind me.

I shoulder my purse and move to walk past him towards the door but he reaches out and grabs my wrist to stop me from leaving. “You can’t do this!” He growls at me and fear suddenly licks up my spine. I’ve never seen him like this. Admittedly, we never really had a chance to get to know each other past the sex. “I won’t let you kill my baby.”

“You don’t get a say in this.” I try to keep my voice steady as I attempt to pull my wrist from his grip but he squeezes harder. “Let go, Alex, you’re hurting me.” I can feel tears well up in my eyes but I blink them back refusing to cry in front of him.

“No.” I can hear the rage in his voice. He grabs his jacket with his other hand and quickly stands up. I have to stumble back to avoid him stepping on me but I can’t get very far because his hand is still wrapped painfully around my wrist. He heads for the door, pulling me with him and I struggle to break free without causing too much of a scene.

I start to panic when he opens the cafe door and pushes me through. My mind is racing a mile a minute; Where is he taking me? Am I being kidnapped? What is he going to do to me? I’ve heard stories of women being beaten or worse for simply saying no a man. The street outside holds a few people window shopping but they’re too far away. I try to plant my feet in the ground to at least slow him down, maybe if I put up some kind of fight he’ll give up and leave. “Alex stop! You can’t do this! You can’t force me to have this baby.”

He stops in his tracks and whirls around to face me, the rage still his eyes. He brings his other hand up and I think for a terrifying second that he’s going to hit me, instead he grips my chin holding me still and forcing me to look at him. “I’m not making you to do anything, you’re not thinking straight and you just need time to think about this and bond with the baby.” I try to open my mouth to say something else but he just talks over me. “We can be a family, we can be happy.” I can see a spark of hope in his eyes behind the rage.

“Hey!” Someone shouts behind me but Alex doesn’t move, either not hearing the person or assuming they’re yelling at someone else. They yell again, closer this time.

“Hey!” A large, gloved, hand comes into view and grips Alex’s shoulder to get his attention. Alex releases my chin but still holds firm on my wrist that’s starting to lose feeling. We both look over to see a brick wall of a man standing before us. The man looks like he lives at the gym. He’s wearing a black bomber jacket but it’s clear that he’s very muscular. He looks vaguely familiar with his chestnut brown hair pulled back into a bun and his piercing blue eyes staring Alex down but I can’t seem to place it. “Let her go.” He speaks calmly in a low voice but his tone is deadly serious.

Alex squares his shoulders and draws himself up to his fullest height. I can see from where I am that he’s a couple inches shorter than the man but that doesn’t seem to deter him. “This is none of your business, asshole. This is between me and her.”

The man turns to me instead, his eyes soften as they meet mine. “Ma'am are you ok?” his tone is gentle and soothing as if he were approaching a panicked animal, which I guess I am at the moment. I look between the two men not wanting to make things worse but also wanting to get as far away from Alex as possible. I look down at my shoes and shake my head.

Alex scoffs and lets go of me with so much force that my hand swings back and smacks me in the thigh. I clutch my hand to my chest and take a few steps away from him partially hiding myself behind the man. Alex is glaring daggers at me and jabs a finger in my direction. “You know what, fine. Do whatever the fuck you want but just keep in mind you’re murdering an innocent baby.”

I stare after him as he turns and stalks off, shoulders hunched and fists clenched at his sides. As soon as he’s out of sight there’s nothing to stop the tears from falling and I break down sobbing in relief. A hand gently touches my elbow and I jump in surprise remembering the man is still standing with me. “Thank you,” I choke out between sobs.

The man offers a reassuring smile. “Don’t mention it.”

I manage to get a hold of myself and stop crying enough to smile back. “Can I buy you a coffee or something? I left my tea at that cafe over there and now I’m really regretting it. Besides it’s the least I can do after you probably just saved my life.”

The man hesitates but after a second his smile widens and he nods. “Sure.”

I turn to walk back to the cafe and he falls in step beside me. “I’m Y/N by the way.”

He hesitates again and I look over at him, his hands are in his pockets and he’s staring at the ground as we walk. I can’t shake the feeling that I know him from somewhere and I’m hoping that maybe if I know his name it’ll spark something. “I’m… James.” No such luck.

We enter the cafe and I quickly glance at the table I was sitting in not ten minutes ago. It’s already been cleared and I’m not sure what I expected, I definitely would have gotten a few stares if I just sat at a table to started drinking a tea that was just sitting there even if was mine to begin with. So we stand at the counter and I order again, forgoing the muffin this time. He orders the same kind of tea as me and I can’t help but stare in surprise. Again, I don’t know what I expected.

Once seated, him sitting across from me, we both sip at our tea in silence. I cast furtive glances at him still trying to figure out where I know him from. But before I can ask, he looks at me with his piercing blue eyes cutting off any thought in my head.

“Can I ask what that was all about back there?” The curiosity is plain in his voice and on his face but I can tell that he won’t push it if I refuse to tell him.

I scoff and stare into my tea watching the ripples as I drum the sides with my fingers. The fight with Alex already feels like a distant memory or a bad dream but the bruise forming around my wrist is a clear reminder of everything that just happened. “I’m pregnant and as I’m sure you can guess he wants me to have the baby. I don’t.” I shiver as my thoughts go back to fight and I wrap my hands around the cup taking comfort in the warmth. “And if you hadn’t stopped him-” I can feel tears sting in my eyes again but they don’t fall. “I don’t even want to think about it.”

James suddenly reaches across the table and gently places a warm hand on my arm and I freeze. My blood runs cold and I stare at his hand as panic rises in my chest, clouding my head. Somewhere deep in my mind I note that he’s wearing gloves, maybe he’s a germaphobe. He quickly retracts his hand looking away as he does. “Sorry.”

I shake my head to clear my mind and focus. “It’s- it’s fine.” I give him a weak smile and shift in my seat feeling a sense of restlessness. I watch as he focuses on anything but me, he picks an invisible piece of lint from his jacket, he checks his phone, and I decide I’m done talking about me. “have we met before?” I ask tilting my head to the side as I try to think of where I’ve seen him before.

James regards me with confusion and surprise. “Um- no I don’t think so,” he starts to look around the cafe as if he’s about to run. His phone starts to ring. “Shit, sorry one sec. Hey Steve- yeah, sorry I…forgot. I’m nearby, at The Postmark cafe in Brooklyn right now but I can be there in about fifteen minutes.“ He hangs up and puts his phone face down on the table. "Sorry about that, I had lunch plans with a friend that I’m now late for. I should get going but I just wanna make sure you’re ok, I can cancel and stick around if you think he’ll be back.”

I keep my eyes on him, watching as he talks to the person on the phone. I could swear I’ve seen him before and the clue that his friend’s name is Steve pushes him closer to the front of my mind but I still can’t quite put my finger on it. “No I think I’ll be ok. Are you sure we haven’t met? You just look so familiar but I can’t quite place it.” I squint my eyes at him as if that’ll help.

He clenches his jaw and his eyes go wide as something behind me catches his attention.

“Buck, we made these plans two hours ago how could you forget already?”

I turn around and feel my jaw drop as a man I never thought I’d see in person makes his way towards us. I stare wide-eyed when he comes to stand at our table.

“Although, now it all makes sense. Hi, I’m Steve Rogers.” He holds his hand to me and as though in slow-motion I reach out to shake his hand.

“Y/N” I say glancing between Steve and James…or Buck. Wait. Suddenly it clicks. I let go of Steve’s hand and turn to face James head on. “You’re James Barnes!” I sit there starstruck as he silently nods looking like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “Wow, I never thought an actual Avenger would be coming to my personal rescue today.”

“Rescue?” Steve’s brows furrow together as he looks between us. He crosses his arms across his chest and I have to tear my eyes away from his biceps.

I reflexively touch my bruised wrist. “I had a… disagreement with my ex. Luckily James stopped things from getting worse,” I meet James’s gaze and my heart flutters in my chest. “So I offered to buy him a tea to say thanks. But I should get going, there’s something I need to do.” James gives me a knowing nod and I push myself away from the table bending down to pick up my purse and tea. “Sorry for interrupting your plans and thank you again, James.”

James quickly scribbles something down on a napkin before standing up with me. “Here’s my number if you need anything,” he says holding out the folded napkin with a small smile on his lips. “And you can call me Bucky.”

I can’t help the grin that spreads across my face as I reach for the napkin and heat spreads across my face when I meet his eyes. “Okay Bucky, I’ll see you around…maybe.” I quickly turn and head for the door then remember that Steve is still standing there watching everything. “It was nice meeting you Steve!” I call over my shoulder before practically running for the door without waiting for a reply.

******************Bucky*********************

I watch Y/N’s retreating form until she’s out of sight and turn to Steve. He’s got that stupid smirk on his face and I glare at him. “What?” I cross my arms defensively.

“She’s cute,” Steve smiles wider and I have to resist the urge to smack it right off his face.

Instead I just roll my eyes and move around him towards the same door Y/N just walked through. “Shut up, I only prevented her from getting hurt. Are we goin’ or what?” I turn back around to see Steve is still standing at the table regarding me with a knowing look. He’s right though, she was cute and I might’ve asked her to dinner but in light of what I witnessed earlier with her ex-boyfriend…and the pregnancy she has enough on her plate at the moment.

Thankfully, Steve doesn’t say anything else on the matter and I’m forever grateful that Sam isn’t with us or I wouldn’t be hearing the end of it. We walk a few blocks west towards the restaurant we planned on for lunch and are seated shortly after.

We talk about nothing of importance mostly schedules and various missions Steve is set to go on when my phone rings for the second time today. I glance at the screen and it only says unknown number. Normally I don’t answer calls when I’m with someone but my gut is telling me that this is something I need to answer, so I apologize to Steve and answer the phone.

“Hello?”

“Bucky? It’s- it’s Y/N. I’m really sorry about this I know you have plans but I might need you to save me again.” Her voice warbles as if she’s trying not to cry.

“Y/N? Are you ok? What happened?” Dread settles in the pit of my stomach as she speaks. Did her ex find her after she left? I look up at Steve and see my thoughts mirrored in his eyes.

“Yeah nothing’s happened it’s just that there’s a crowd outside the clinic yelling at people trying to get in and that’s not really something I want to deal with alone right now.”

Without saying a word, Steve nods to me and I know he’s telling me to go. I nod back and mouth sorry before jumping out of my seat and making my way to the exit. “Where are you? I’m on my way.”

*****************Y/N*****************

I don’t have to wait long for Bucky to show up, and he’s not hard to miss. Being six feet tall and built like a tank everyone seems to just move out of his way. He finds me sitting on the curb of a side street out of view of the crowd and looks me up and down looking for any injuries I suspect. I find his concern endearing.

“I’m so sorry about this,” I say when he reaches me. My eyes sting from the unshed tears still clinging to my lashes. You’re weak. The thought flashes through my head and I hiccup trying to keep my nerves in check. “You probably have stuff to do today and here I am asking you to hold my hand through this.” I try to joke to cover the fact that deep down I’m terrified.

Bucky immediately places his hands on my shoulders and looks me in the eye, “You have nothing to apologize for.”

“I thought I could do this on my own but apparently not and I didn’t really know who else I could call.” I sniffle and take a deep breath to steady myself. “Okay I’m ready if you are.” I turn towards the clinic a d clench my fists to help me focus on putting one foot in front of the other

Bucky nods falling into step beside me. I hold my head high as we walk towards the crowd feeling emboldened by his presence, but as we get closer I start to shrink into his side and I bow my head to avoid making eye contact with anyone. Someone shouts something to me and feel a strong arm wrap around my shoulders protectively. I glance up and I see Bucky glaring at anyone who dares to approach us.

We reach the door without any major incident and quickly walk into the reception and waiting room of the clinic. The white walls give me a sense of both unease and comfort as I step up to the front desk and I’m greeted by a smiling nurse.

“Hey there. Sorry about the crowd outside, I hope they didn’t give too much trouble. What can we do for you today.”

“Um, hi. I have an appointment for an ab-” I falter and try again. “An abortion,” I whisper the words as if they would offend the people around me. I take a moment to look around to see if anyone heard me but everyone in the waiting room is either too far away or too preoccupied with their own issues to pay any attention to me.

The nurse asks for my health card and types something into the computer. “Okay, fill this out and we’ll call you when we’re ready for you.”

I quietly sit in one of the chairs to fill out the forms and out of the corner of my eye I see Bucky sit in the chair beside me. At first I’m confused then I realize that he’s probably planning on waiting with me. I feel a pang in my heart at the realization and turn to face him. “Look I don’t want you to waste your whole day here with me, you’ve already done a lot for me and I don’t think I could ever repay you, but you don’t have to stay this might take a while.” I can feel my heart race when he turns his blue gaze on me. There’s a sincerity in his eyes that I haven’t seen from a person in a long time and my heart skips a beat.

“I’m not going anywhere. I want to make sure you’re alright.”

I can’t help the smile that appears on my face or the blush that creeps up my cheeks at his words. “Oh, ok thank you,” I look down at the form I’ve finished filling out and stand to hand it back to the nurse. When I sit back down Bucky is still watching me and I feel as if he’s worried I might pass out or get sick or something. We lapse into a slightly awkward silence as we sit waiting for the doctor.

When my name is finally called I’m relieved to have something else to focus on other than the silence between me and Bucky, but at the same time I’m reluctant to leave his side afraid of what might happen if he isn’t there to save me one more time.

Sensing my nerves he takes hold of my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze of reassurance. “It’s going to be ok.”

The warmth of his hand shocks me into moving. Without letting go of his hand I stand up from the chair and take a few steps towards the nurse, who is now holding a door to the rest of the facility open for me. Bucky doesn’t stand with me and with one last look behind me and an encouraging nod from him I let go of his hand and follow the nurse through the door.  

#1.5kconstellationswritingchallenge #Save Me #Bucky Barnes #Bucky x Reader #James Buchanan Barnes #Bucky Barnes x reader #bucky x you #bucky x female reader #pregnancy #abortion #Part 1 #Steve Rogers #sam wilson #the winter soldier #Avengers #marvel #mcu

[fanfictionized]

Help Me Help You - The New Weapon (14/?)

Character: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader / OFC

Chapter summary: Thanks to Bruce, the Avengers and Annabelle finally find out what influence the serum has had on her blood and body.

Wanda decides to give Anna lessons, trying to make it easier for her to control her powers the way she can.

Warnings: Mentions of death, scientific shit going on oh boi I have no idea if that even makes sense

Words: 4k

A/N: This thing down there is supposed to be a GIF I made but it somehow only plays on the mobile version (if at all). Either that or my laptop is crap. Welp. Enjoy.

Previous Chapter // Help Me Help You - Masterlist

Annabelle confined herself to exploring her room. That included trying to work the stereo, listening to new albums she had never heard of before, watching TV to catch up with the news of the past weeks and reading into a few books that had also been laying around. She loved how the room’s interior was already really cozy. Almost made her feel like home.

Hm. Home.

Tears had sprung to her eyes at the thought of her mother, probably dying with worry while crying herself to sleep at night. She wouldn’t know what had happened to her only daughter. Her worst fear was that she believed she had run away. She knew she needed to tell her somehow, she had missed her so fucking much over the course of her disappearance.

Asking Friday for directions, she got up at one-fifty to walk upstairs somewhere. She replayed Friday’s voice inside her head. Go to the elevator, drive up three stories, end of the hallway, right turn.

And she did exactly that.

She turned right at the end of the hallway and there she could see through the glass walls that separated her from the conference room. And sitting there, alone in a seat while running a hand through his hair, was no other than Bucky Barnes.

She chuckled to herself. Of cause he was. She entered through the sliding door and he only looked up at the sound of it, keeping his surprised gaze on her until she was standing beside him, her hands grasping the black leather-backrest of the chair next to him.

“Do you mind?” She asked timidly and as if she had pulled him out of a trance, he suddenly shook his head rapidly. “No. Y-You can sit there.” He stammered and cleared his throat as he sat up straighter in his chair. She pulled it out from under the long glass table and let herself slump into it, a deep breath rushing past her lips.

“You okay?” He asked her. Her head was leaning against the headrest, turning slowly to face him. “Sure. Why not.” She didn’t seem pleased with the whole situation and Bucky didn’t know how to respond to that. He fidgeted in his seat uncomfortably, his leg bouncing underneath the table, she could see it.

“I’m sorry, that’s a stupid answer.” “It was a stupid question.” Her brows drew together in surprise and confusion. “No it wasn’t, don’t worry. I guess I’m just not as exited as I should be. I mean… should I even be exited?” She shrugged her shoulders “I think so.”

“You don’t have to pretend.” He mumbled, looking down to his bouncing leg. “It’s a strange situation to be in.” “Hm.” She answered and turned her head to look at the ceiling again. “I am the, uh… what is it again? The thing you do tests on?” He turned his head in confusion. “Guinea pig?” “Yes. I am the guinea pig. People get to look at me to see what their tests have done to me.” She sighed deeply. “I guess it’s not the best metaphor, but I hope I’m still that old guinea pig I used to be, you know?” He nodded. He did know.

“Well, hello there.” Sam said suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows as he entered the room along with Natasha. He looked back into his lap at Sam’s expression.

“Who do have we here? Beauty and the beast.” “Oh, fuck off.” Bucky hissed and sent him a glare. “Don’t worry, you’re not the beauty. Belle over here is.” “Oh my god, that’s actually perfect. She even has the same name!” Wanda squealed as she entered the room behind them, slinging her arms around Sam’s shoulders, making him tumble backwards.

She winked at Bucky as Sam yelled in protest and a tiny smirk appeared on his lips. “See, I can literally take you down without my powers, point proven.” She let go of him and quickly grabbed the other seat next to Annabelle. “Hey, that was mine!” He whined, but Wanda only stuck out her tongue at him. He grumbled as he sat down at the other end, next to Natasha who had sat down next to Bucky.

Even though they had all proven themselves to be very amusing, in that moment she didn’t feel joy. Her heart was pounding. She was on edge from what Bruce had found out and what he was about to say. She nibbled on the nail of her right thumb as her left fingers thrummed on the armrest.

They were sitting so close, the others, lost in their own conversations, didn’t even notice Bucky’s hand moving over to take a gentle hold of her wrist, immediately stopping her actions as she looked down at his flesh hand on hers and then up to his face with big eyes.

“It’s gonna be fine.” He said quietly so that only she could hear it and she nodded slowly until he smiled fleetingly at her and let go as soon as Tony entered the room along with Steve, Bruce and Vision.

Her expression was still that of a deer in the headlights, but she managed a smile as Tony send her one.

“Gather ‘round, children!” He said as he walked up to the end of the long-ish table. “And let the doctor speak.”

Bruce stepped beside him and pushed his glasses up his nose.

She tried to tell anything from the look on his face, her cheeks blushing with anxiousness.

“I, I think I’ll start right away.” He stammered and called up an invisible screen floating in the middle of the table and Annabelle leaned back as if it could actually touch her.

“Anna, I’m glad to see you here.” Bruce said and smiled faintly at her. She did the same. “I just… I want to know.” She hesitated and she hoped the others couldn’t hear the shake in her voice. She needed to know.

He nodded back at her. “Well, we’re not going to push you away. We’ll include you in all the knowledge we have on this case.”

Her heart was racing.

“I… I think maybe it’s better if you start with, uh, the enemy we’re dealing with.” Bruce looked at Steve and he just nodded, turning to face her.

“The ones that took you are part of a terrorist-criminal organization called Hydra.” He had a concerned look on his face, as if he didn’t really want to expose Annabelle to the ugly truth. But the only unknown truth there was, was that she, out of all of them, could handle it the best.

“They were the ones we fought in the second world war and they’re the ones that experimented not only on Bucky, but also on Wanda.”

“They gave us our powers.” She spoke up and when she looked at her, a reddish glow – one that she had only seen on TV before – emerged between her fingers.

“And they wanted them to use it for Hydra’s plans. Control them how they wanted to force their will onto the world.”

The puzzle-pieces started to align and match up. Not about her abductors but also about Bucky’s past.

“And you would’ve been their next toy to play with.” Tony said and sat down.

“Nicely put, Tony.” Steve glared at him and Tony shrugged, shaking his head “Tell me I’m wrong.” Steve sighed and continued.

“Hydra has been getting S.H.I.E.L.D’s attention for the past six months. Since they have started…” He seemed like he was hoping to get a little help from the others, but they looked like they felt just as awkward as him.

“…since they have started to scatter dead bodies with a chemical compound in their bloodstream we had never seen before.”

She didn’t know how to answer. There had been others before her. But she always believed that there was a plan behind all those injections, all the brain-shocking… Why would they go through it only to kill them? It made her realize that if she had been there for just a little longer, she would’ve wound up dead as well.

“They have been working on a way to combine both the serum that made Bucky and I so strong with the one that gave Wanda enhanced abilities.”

“And they have succeeded.” Bruce finally chimed in and the room got quiet once more.

He swiped to the next page with a movement of his hand and in front of them appeared a hemogram of dark purple blood cells with even darker centers, vibrating across the screen.

She has had enough years of biology in school to say that whatever that was, was not normal. Blood cells were red, most likely unmoving, but not quivering like they had a will of their own.

“Your blood sample from earlier matches with the ones they took from the other victims.” Bruce explained, but she couldn’t get her eyes off the moving picture. Goosebumps crawled over her skin at the sight. At the sheer thought of that filling her veins.

“I don’t know if you saw it when I extracted the blood from you” Her head cocked to the side in confusion. No. She had not. She had been trying to focus on not puking with her eyes squeezed shut.

“But it was various shades darker than regular blood. And my theory is that the discoloration of your blood cells is the cause of it.”

Her brows drew together. She was more than just confused at that point.

“But… that’s not the only thing I saw under the microscope.”

Swipe to the right.

“The minute I tried to poke them with a microscopic needle to extract their contents for further research…”

The animation showed the same twitching blood cells with a pointed head approaching one of them. They all watched curiously as the needle tried to breach the cell wall, she had seen this procedure a few times before, but the breach never came.

Instead, the blood cell suddenly stained darkly, carbon black, spreading from the inside out and tiny bumps formed on the exterior which formed into tentacle-like arms, starting to wiggle. The movement touched the cells surrounding it and within a fraction of a second it had alarmed the rest as well, turning into the same defensive mess.

Annabelle’s mouth hung open, along with all the other’s. Her scalp prickled with shock and her chest constricted.

That was floating inside of her. She had an own, built-in defense mechanism. Or whatever that shit was supposed to be demonstrating here.

“What the hell?” Sam blurted out.

“Seriously, Bruce. What is that?” Natasha added, equally shocked.

“This” He said and swiped right once more as the video started to replay itself “Is Hydra’s newest weapon.”

“I’m what?” Panic rose up inside Annabelle’s chest. She clearly looked like it as well.

“You’re not.” Tony interrupted and held up a stopping hand “You’re not a weapon. It’s what Hydra has been trying to change those people into. You’re just the first person to survive it.”

“Yes, of cause.” Bruce added, looking a little ashamed. “You- You’re not. They would’ve turned you into a, a weapon, but you’re still yourself.”

“Well, obviously I’m not!” She couldn’t breathe.

“Kid, you need to calm down.” Tony said slowly, cautiously. Realization hit everyone at the tone of his voice. This meeting could go another way if she wouldn’t.

All eyes were on her.

Her face was beet red. She didn’t know what to do.

“You’re enhanced, is what Bruce is trying to say.” Bucky said as he turned around to look her in the eyes. “You’re both like Steve, Wanda and I, but also you aren’t.” She seemed so frightened. “You’re something new and we don’t know what it is yet, but we will. Right, doctor?”

“I, uhm, yes. Of cause.”

He didn’t break eye contact with her once. “They would have turned you into a weapon if they had gotten the chance. But they didn’t. You’re here now and that won’t change if you don’t want it to.”

He looked at her, his eyes both calming and piercing with the depth of the blue in them. Like the ocean on a stormy day, she thought. It did in fact make her calm down. The tingling in her fingertips subsiding and the beat of her heart no longer throbbing in her head.

“Okay.” She whispered and nodded. He smiled at her softly before she looked back at Tony and the rest who were all staring at the two of them.

“I want to help. Whatever I have to do, I will. I want to control… whatever this is.”

“And we’ll help you with that.” Steve said and nodded back at her.

“From what I could tell, your… self… has an own awareness of your surroundings and instinctively wants to protect you from any harm” He scratched his neck. “My assumption is that this defense mechanism activates itself through your bloodstream, as we could see as an example from the reaction of your blood cells. Whichever Neurochemicals and hormones are released activate the serum.”

“And now in English, please.” Sam raised an impatient eyebrow. Bruce sighed.

“Extreme emotions trigger extreme response.”

The lab. She remembered what she felt back then. Pure fright and panic and just fear for her life. There must’ve been so much adrenaline rushing through her blood that her body consequently reacted.

“We still don’t know for certain what exactly includes said response, but doctor Cho and I will try our best finding that out as well.” Bruce assured her.

Well. That was insightful. More than she had hoped for for sure. In the back of her head she had already dabbled with that idea of what could’ve caused the outbreak, but here it was. Her answer served on a silver plate.

“Will she be okay?” Steve asked him.

“I think so. I mean, I – all of the exposed dangers in her bloodstream that the, uhm, serum has caused have either vanished or manifested themselves. There don’t seem to be any major genetic changes except for the mutation… the alteration of what was already there.” He cleared his throat awkwardly. “What I mean is I don’t see you growing extra limbs… although the treatment did involve a certain level of radiation. Of cause we’ll have to see what the long-term effects are, but despite all your immune system is being very adaptive and your health is recovering incredibly fast.”

His smile seemed earnest this time.

“Could be the influence of the Super-Soldier Serum.”

“Okay.” She mumbled, staring onto the see-through table. That was a lot to process. But all in all… good news, right?

“I can help you figuring out your powers.” Wanda suddenly spoke up from next to Annabelle. She looked at Bruce, then at her.

“I know what it’s like being in your position and I had to figure it out by myself, but you don’t have to. I know all the tricks on that department.” She winked at her and Tony agreed.

“Sounds like a plan.”

***

Her current state had been discussed, further theories on Hydra’s position and plans reviewed and with that, the meeting had ended. Class dismissed.

“Hey, we can start right away if you want to…?” Wanda asked before she stood up, laying a hand on her shoulder. “I, uhm… okay. I mean, I don’t have anything else to do.” She shrugged and stood up as well.

“Great! We can practice in the gym, if you feel comfortable enough. Do you, uh, maybe want to put some gym clothes on?” She asked. Annabelle shook her head.

“No. I mean, I don’t know. Should I?” “Whatever you feel comfortable in.” She shrugged again. “I guess I’ll just… stay like this.” She looked down at herself. Oversized shirt and jeans with socks. “I’ll probably need a belt, though.” She groaned as she tugged on the loose fabric around her waist. “Don’t worry” Wanda grinned and leaned in to whisper “You can borrow my clothes; I’ve gained too much weight for them anyway.”

They both laughed as they exited the room along with the others.

Bucky stayed behind, watching the two of them.

“Are you okay?” Bruce asked the soldier and he turned his head around. The doctor was collecting the piles of paper he had brought in.

“I’m fine.” He said and stood up as some of the pages glided to the ground, bending down to pick them back up.

“Oh, thank you.” He mumbled as Bucky handed them over.

“Will she be okay, though?” Bucky asked sheepishly and looked back at the doctor.

He stared at him for a few seconds before he decided to response. “Well, I- I surely think so. She really is doing well, all things considered…” He hesitated, looking at the papers. “We will have to see how it develops.”

“The serum?”

Bruce shook his head, correcting himself. “Yes, sure. Of cause. I think, we’ll have to see how she develops as well. I believe the serum and her well-being are very closely related.”

Bucky stood there and listened.

“If, I mean, if she feels bad or, just anything in that manner… unhappy, frustrated, unwelcome… I believe it will show.”

“And what if it’s the opposite?”

“Well… I mean that could surely have an influence as well. Although I’m not quite sure what- how it would manifest itself.”

Bucky nodded.

“Then we’ll have to make sure she feels at home.”

***

“Relax.” Wanda assured her as she went to close the door behind her. The gym was big with high ceilings, long and even parquet dance floor with mirrors on the walls and lots of room to work with.

“I can put on some whale songs...?”

She turned around to her, furrowing her brows. “Why on earth would I want that?” Wanda let out a chuckle. “What do I know.”

She realized it was very silent there. Wanda grabbed a mat she rolled down in front of their feet. She figured that all the training equipment and weights must have been located in another gym.

“Come on. Sit with me.” She crossed her legs as she sat down, patting the seat in front of her. Annabelle did as she was told.

“Are… we going to meditate?” She asked, clearly confused. “No.” Wanda answered and closed her eyes. Annabelle continued to stare at her. “I want you to close your eyes.” She rolled them first, but did the same. “What are you feeling right now?” She heard her gentle voice, the low whir of the fluorescent light above their heads, a car speeding somewhere on the streets.

“I don’t know. Confused?”

She heard her gentle giggle. “If you have to ask me then I don’t think that’s what you’re truly feeling.” Annabelle breathed deeply and went into her train of thoughts.

“I feel…” Her head cocked to the side “relieved.”

“And why is that?”

“Because I finally know who did this to me and what it was that they did.”

“What else do you feel?”

“Tense. I feel tense.”

“Why?” This was beginning to feel pointless. She sighed, starting to be on edge.

“I don’t know. Maybe because the people that have done this to me are still running around somewhere? Because I can’t do anything about it? Because I don’t want what happened when I woke up here to be happening again?”

“That’s why we’re here. To turn those reasons into productivity. Because you can do something about it.” Her words resonated in her head. “Because you can control it if you want to.”

“What are you feeling now?”

She looked deep inside herself. Her heart was pounding. Either with Wanda’s hopeful promises or the building hatred for what she was yet powerless.

“Rage.”

A pause.

“Go on.”

Her breathing got quicker, already audible to the both of them.

“I want them to pay.”

“For all that they’ve done to you.”

A pang to her heart as it contracted. She felt it, the sting in her chest and the pull in the back of her throat where a lump was building.

“Yes.” She hissed.

“Good. Stay there. Right where you are now. What do you see?”

Her voice was no longer in front of her, but inside her head. She knew what she asked for and Annabelle kept digging, everything else faded down. Her hands balled up to fists as her subconsciousness dug deeper; The tips of her fingers had begun to tingle.

She dug her nails into her palms, leaving small, moon-shaped imprints. She felt it. The same rush in her veins she had felt back there in the lab, the same that had wanted so badly to creep back up this morning, but this time she let it. Welcomed it inside with no fear.

It spread through her chest and she could see it before her closed eyelids. Even darker shades of black winding through her already dark vision. Not like a movement she could compare. Not a snake, no kraken could wind their way through her self that way. It felt like a simultaneous tug at her insides, a quivering worm, one tortured with a burning lens. The motions were visceral, out of control.

And it settled in the pores of her skin, gushing out and pooling in the palms of her hands. She had to control that haunted creature and it gave in the second she let it in, still moving on its own, but not fighting its occupier. This was one vicious parasite.

“Anna!”

Her eyes shot open and she was looking through the eyes of said demon. That was until she felt something else yanking on her brain and she gasped with the sudden sharpness of a headache, clasping her hands above her head and hissing.

“I’m sorry, I had to.” She heard Wanda’s voice, it was so much closer than before. She turned around to understand what she was talking about and saw the girl crouched next to her, one hand held close to her temple and in the corner of her eye she noticed a red glow finding its origin from the tips of her fingers.

“What are you doing?” Her voice sounded raspy and her eyes were burning. Everything looked different. She got her old vision back for some reason.

“You were in it too deep.” Was her only response as the red glow faded away. She knew what this girl was capable of. America had made her stay in said country; a difficult and very public thing to handle. Why? Because of what she was able to do with her gifts.

That’s what they called them, but she knew damn well that it was a burden. One she had been blessed with as well.

“What do you mean?” She rubbed her head, the pain had gone but the question stayed.

“You got to it, Anna. You did it, but…”

She leaned back and sat down. “You couldn’t hear me anymore. I saw it dripping down your hands and I warned you, but you didn’t listen. I didn’t want to touch you I, I didn’t know… how you’d react. So I gave you a little kick.”

“In the brain?” Annabelle gasped.

“Just enough to pull you out.”

She looked around. There was nothing left. Staring down at her palm she only saw the imprints of her nails into her skin there.

“I’m sorry.” She croaked out.

“No! Don’t be.” She let out a chuckle, her eyes wide with amusement and enthusiasm. “That was- well, I thought we’d go easy, but that’s not a problem.” She laughed.

“See” She said and gripped Annabelle’s shoulders “You can call it up if you want to. That’s the first step of controlling your powers.”

The first, she thought, The first of how many?

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@humanexile

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