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#if necessary just ask and ill be happy to explain lol
finely-tuned-line · 1 year
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Hello?
I am once again sending out broadcasts, because I love meeting new iterators! Can never meet to many, I believe pfff.
I am Moss, I am located near the void sea, deep underground.
I'm mainly just looking for people to talk to! Currently procrastinating on sleeping, and I'm taking a break from organizing rocks currently, so I have lots of free time!
(Sent from @threemossystones <3)
RP:
FTL: Greetings, Three Mossy Stones. To introduce myself out of sheer courtesy, I am FInely-Tuned Line, Senior Iterator of Local Group 16.
FTL: I do somewhat disagree with your statement of that "you can never meet too many [Iterators]", but I suppose it's a matter of perspective and priority.
FTL: Located near the Void Sea... Interesting. I'd assume that you were either or both one of the last Iterators ever built and/or have a purpose that holds some sort of relevance to your location? Because it truly is an odd one. I cannot imagine it must be pleasant - though that mostly depends on your distance from the Void Sea.
FTL: I'm fine with holding a conversation with you, though I do not guarantee your satisfaction with it. Whatever it even is that you're hoping to achieve via this conversation. Surely it can't just be seeking companionship. Doesn't matter.
FTL: You're capable of sleep? I don't believe that I've ever heard of an Iterator having that capability, truth to be told. What's even the point of that? A waste of time. May I also inquire as to why you're organising rocks? Are they just rocks you find in your general area, or is it a cataloguing thing? Seems a bit redundant, but who am I to judge.
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luvmist · 1 year
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all information can be found here.
welcome. i see you.
before you dive in, i ask that you read this attentively.
affiliated fandom
1. who i write for.
avatar.
as of right now, i exclusively write for avatar characters. this includes both the first film and the way of water. any changes will be announced.
2. which characters i write for.
in short, all.
however, if you would like to request anything with romantic affiliation between the character and reader, you may only request a male character. i do not write romantically or sexually for female characters. and i do not write male x male tropes that are not platonic. (please see 4 for further explanation).
rules
3. as of right now, i do not write smut.
4. i do not write same sex tropes.
please allow me to explain,
this is a safe space for all communities. homophobia and transphobia will absolutely not be tolerated. in the same breath, i cannot write same gender sex or romance because i don’t know how to do it. as a straight, cis gendered woman these are situations i am unable to relate to. and i fear offending or misrepresenting a community i love and respect.
5. all of my yns are girls with she/her pronouns.
6. i do not write any “traumatically geared” content.
honestly, in 2023 i don’t deem it necessary to state this as i like to have a little more faith in humanity. but just in case, i will.
don’t trauma dump. no requests that involve self-harm, eating disorders, mental illnesses, or anything in that nature represented in a romanticised sense will be accepted.
7. you are free to ask for a part 2 of a oneshot but please note it will only get done if i deem it necessary or if it inspires me. please remember that not everything needs a sequel. the story has been told. allow it to rest.
8. once you’ve left an ask, please don’t leave stuff in my inbox inquiring wether or not i’ve received that ask. i know you mean well but im not a machine. i also hoard drafts so i may be 900 words deep into your ask and haven’t finished it yet.
9. my characters will typically be aged up.
when requesting
10. you may be as vague, or as specific as you like. but please note that the vaguer you are the more i will have to fill in the blanks myself. so if you have a vivid idea of what you would like in mind, please try to give detailed descriptions (without writing the fic for me though, those requests will be ignored as it would simply be a repetition of the ask).
also please try to consider the following
11. genre (fluff, angst, humor)
12. content (this can range from asking for “a oneshot where reader braids lo’aks hair” to simply giving me a character and a single phrase, concept or sentence to work with. even a song perhaps. its up to you).
13. type (one shot, head cannons, drabbles etc).
14. i mainly write na’vi! reader. you are free to request a human! reader but if the story makes too little sense i may have to alter it. human reader freaks me out im not sure why lol apologies.
15. any extra information is also welcome (omatikaya metkayina, height, personality, physical aspects, aforementioned events) anything that you would like to add essentially.
reblogs, feedback and likes are deeply appreciated.
about me, masterlist
my inbox is always open for any questions or brain dumps u may have for me. thirsts, thoughts ideas etc. let’s talk. happy reading! ♡
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another taste of heavenly rush
So this was supposed to be a silly little breathplay PWP drabble as a birthday tribute to the lovely @witchertrashbag but then it kind of...evolved??? Mutated??? lol who knows what happened, I sure as hell don’t. Anyway happy late birthday Wine Aunt, you’re a credit to this fandom, I hope you enjoy this belated smutty mess 🖤
Jaskier is utterly bewitched by the sight of a huge, leather-clad hand on the man’s throat.
He should be paying attention to the words being exchanged, seeing as he started the quarrel that led to the aforementioned hand-on-throat situation. Well. Hadn’t started it, per se, but he had certainly escalated it, and gods know Geralt won’t appreciate that particular nuance.
But the red-faced man currently gasping for breath beneath the witcher’s considerable grip had simultaneously insulted Jaskier’s songwriting and Geralt’s honor in one ill-begotten, unoriginal sentence after Jaskier’s performance in the tavern common room, something about “don’t clap for that little prick’s filth, praising freaks and monsters.” The bard had simply smiled sweetly, taken a sip of his ale, and intimated that the man’s wife was something of an expert on the subject of little pricks.
And then the man tried to hit him with a chair, and Jaskier can hardly be blamed for that, although Geralt will, inevitably. He’d scurried away from the onslaught and called out an only vaguely panicked “Geralt!” which led them here, the ugly sour-breathed man pinned to the tavern wall, his feet twitching desperately for solid ground, held up by one huge, bulky hand.
This little misadventure won’t make it into one of his songs. There’s nothing poetic about a prejudiced drunk man being rude and getting choked for his efforts.
Although...Jaskier’s eyes are drawn again to the sharp contrast of the brown leather of the gauntlets against the greasy pink of the man’s skin. Maybe there is something poetic to choking, after all. Choking, choking out, feeling the life drain from your body by a huge, leather-clad hand. Choking as in choking something else, draining something else from...jerking off, choking as in jerking off, and it’s not his best work but he’s fairly distracted at the moment because the thought of a huge, leather clad hand gripping a swollen, leaking cock has burrowed its way into Jaskier’s mind and fuck, how is he supposed to think about anything else now? Slick red head squeezed a little too hard, beading pearlescent drops disappearing into a supple russet fist that’s a little too coarse, too cold, too dry but feels divine nonetheless…
“Jaskier!”
Fuck.
The innkeep is shouting at them to get out, holding a broom as menacingly as one can hold a broom, and Geralt is glowering at him. “Go, bard! Roach!”
Right. He grabs his lute and flies out the door, the cool night air a shock on his overheated skin. He sprints to the stables and sets to work quickly tacking up the mare as he coos at her soothingly. “Deepest apologies, my dear lady, but it seems our plans for the evening have been altered somewhat.”
He’s leading her out and back toward the tavern when the door flies open, Geralt charging out. He fixes Jaskier with an exasperated glare and snatches the reins from him. “Dammit, Jaskier,” he mutters, swinging into the saddle. “If your cock doesn’t get us both killed, your mouth will.”
And if Jaskier’s arousal had flagged in the process of fleeing and fetching their escape horse, all it takes is a reference to cocks and mouths in close proximity to bring it roaring back to life as Geralt drags him up behind him and spurs Roach into a gallop out of the village.
It’s new, this thing with Geralt.
He’d met the witcher just over two years ago, back in Posada. They’d travelled together and parted near half a dozen times since, but this current sprint is by far their longest together, going on four months. They’ve fallen into a routine, found ways of traveling that make both their paths smoother. Jaskier’s songs are more lucrative when he can theatrically proclaim that their hero, his muse, the town’s savior is in their very midst; Geralt’s presence protects him from beasts and monsters and bandits and keeps him fed on fresh game between towns when they make their camps beneath the stars. And though Geralt’s never mentioned it, he can tell he’s come to appreciate Jaskier’s contributions, too: he sets up camp and builds a fire while Geralt hunts when they stay in the country, procures rooms with less humiliation and rarer downright refusals from rude innkeeps and for significantly less coin when they stay in the village. Noticing Jaskier’s penchant for picking wildflowers on the roadside, Geralt’s even started teaching him the herbs, flowers and berries he needs for his potions.
Traveling together does have its drawbacks, of course, particularly Geralt’s reticence to stay within the confines of civilization. He’s perfectly content to go weeks without sleeping in an inn if the town doesn’t have any contracts available, wont to ride away from perfectly good villages where Jaskier would be able to find perfectly good lovers.
This came to a head a few weeks ago. Jaskier tried to settle on the lumpy ground for the night, tried to ignore that prickling restlessness beneath his skin, but he couldn’t will it away, couldn’t force himself into a fitful sleep like he had the past several nights. He tossed again, unable to stifle a sigh, when the witcher rolled onto his side to glare at him.
“Would you stop your fussing?”
“Fussing? I’m not fussing, Geralt, I can’t sleep.”
“Can’t you not sleep quietly?”
He snorted. “What a very stupid question. Weren’t you just saying yesterday that I don’t even think quietly?” Tired and frustrated and horny as all hell, Jaskier opted for the truth. Watching Geralt get that uncomfortable, vaguely constipated look he got when Jaskier talked about sex always provided an amusing distraction, at least. He sighed melodramatically, adopting a most put-upon voice. “Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve indulged in the wondrous carnalities of a companion, Geralt?”
“Don’t really care.”
“Ages, Geralt, it’s been ages. At least a week. Some may bear the cruelties of celibacy with stoic fortitude, my dear witcher, but alas, some of us simply are not so equipped. We really should stop in the next village. It’d do us both a world of good to sleep in a bed, particularly one that’s warm, if you get my drift.”
The witcher looked at him with that inscrutable expression. “Plenty of chances for you to get your dick wet once we reach Gors Velen.”
Jaskier darted up, horrified, all pretensions forgotten. “Gors Velen?” he whined. “You said yourself we’re still a month away from Gors Velen!”
Geralt shrugged. “You’ve got a hand.” With that, he turned his back to Jaskier.
And well. It had been Geralt’s suggestion, after all, and Jaskier may have many attributes to his credit and otherwise but shyness has never been counted among them. And if perhaps he put on a bit of a show, fucking up into his hand with a little more bitten-lip moaning, a little more breathless panting than was strictly necessary, well, it served Geralt right for brushing off his perfectly legitimate concerns so rudely. And if he came particularly hard with a surprised gasp that was all too genuine when he shot a glance at his companion and saw the witcher facing him again, perfectly still, with an intent, impenetrable expression that Jaskier thought looked almost intrigued, well, that served Geralt right, too.
And that’s how this thing with Geralt started.
The next night, Jaskier made no such fuss when he laid down atop his bedroll, brazenly pulling his cock from his smallclothes and stroking himself languidly as he met that golden stare with something akin to a challenge. “You too?” he asked, breathless, and moaned as he watched Geralt’s hand drift down to palm himself through the rough cotton.
A few nights later Jaskier laid out their bedrolls side by side, not touching but nearly. “It’s not quite fair, is it,” he explained, rolling his balls indulgently with one hand as he set a lazy pace with the other. “You with your extraordinary superhuman witchery senses, you get to hear every little noise I make, see every little expression on my devilishly handsome face from all the way across the fire. Seems like we ought to level the playing field, as it were.”
“Don’t need witcher senses to hear you,” Geralt groused, but the corner of his lip crooked in what could only be the hint of a grin as he settled in beside him without protest, taking himself in hand and echoing Jaskier’s tempo.
(Geralt can maintain his blank expression fairly well while getting off, Jaskier knows now, but he’s slightly less guarded when it comes to sound, to the noises too soft and unintentional to be noticed without such proximity. The little hitch when he twists his wrist just so at the head; the low rumbling of a moan in his chest that never reaches his lips when he’s close, so close; the voiceless exhale when he comes that sometimes, when it’s really good, sounds as though it’s been punched out of him; the abortive, shuddering breaths as his strokes turn into the gentlest trailing of the fingertips down his shaft just past the point of oversensitivity, prolonging that sweet touch until it can no longer be endured.)
The next night, well. A hand’s a hand, and there’s not so very much difference between wanking and assisting your very best friend in the whole wide world wanking, really.
And that’s what this is. Jaskier has no grandiose romantic notions, not about this, not really. It’s not about the passionate heat of bodies entwined, it’s just hands and cocks to aid with sleep and that’s all it has to be. This thing with Geralt is about getting off, not about sex, and he’s not entirely sure he understands this arbitrary boundary he’s constructed but the distinction feels crucial nevertheless. It’s a matter of convenience, not lust. Jaskier is content with this arrangement. It’s more than he ever hoped to experience with his lovely, taciturn friend, and that’s enough. He can enjoy these encounters with Geralt without needing them, without craving something more, without deluding himself into thinking they’re...something else. Paramours. Lovers.
Anyway, this was all going swimmingly until Geralt throttled a man on his behalf and it was the most arousing thing he’d ever witnessed. Now Jaskier is pressed up against him on a horse riding from a town in which they are no longer welcome with what has got to be the most obnoxiously persistent erection of his life because he can’t stop imagining those hands around his throat.
“Whoa, Roach.” Jaskier feels the witcher’s body tense against him as he pulls on the reins, halting as they approach a small copse of trees. “This’ll do.” He dismounts gracefully and Jaskier scrambles behind.
He’d assumed that Geralt would be furious that they’d finally stopped at an inn only for Jaskier’s uncanny ability to find himself in trouble got them ousted, but he doesn’t seem furious as they set up the campsite. Not that he says anything, of course, and not that he would say anything if he were furious, but Jaskier has grown rather accustomed to reading Geralt’s silences. This particular silence doesn’t seem to be perturbed in any way. If anything, it almost seems amused. Surely he’s misreading something.
He’s just finished situating the bedrolls when he turns around and nearly slams into Geralt. “Bloody hell Geralt, are you trying to...oh.”
Geralt unceremoniously tugs the bow fastening Jaskier’s trousers loose, reaching into them and immediately setting to work with a sure, steady hand.
“...oh, you’re trying to...that.” He closes his eyes at the sensation.
Geralt’s hand stills, gripping him lightly. “Will I get some rest if we don’t?” His face remains impassive as ever, but there’s something in his grumble that Jaskier could almost swear sounds teasing, fond. “Rather deal with you now than listen to you toss about and whine for an hour pretending you’re trying to sleep.”
And Jaskier could protest because honestly, he hasn’t since that first night, but he allows it, lets Geralt have his excuse because something’s different tonight. They never touch until they’ve undressed and settled into their bedrolls for the night. It’s just a part of the routine.
Nothing about this feels routine.
He lets out a laugh that’s a bit higher than he intends as Geralt resumes fisting his cock. “My, my, someone’s eager tonight,” he breathes, and all right, he may have no room to talk, but Geralt initiating this is beyond uncharacteristic.
A hum resonates deep in his chest. “Felt you rubbing up on me since we left town. You’re not subtle, bard.”
“Yeah, well, you’re not…subtle? Fuck.”
The witcher rolls his eyes. “Smelled you before that,” and honestly, fuck Geralt for wanting to have a conversation all of a sudden now that Jaskier’s completely incapable of it, “back in the tavern. What was it?” Geralt is shifting them, guiding him carefully, his hand never losing its rhythm, until Jaskier feels the trunk of a sturdy oak at his back. “What got you so hard in the middle of a bar fight?”
A knee slips casually between his legs, and the hard line of Geralt’s still-clothed cock presses against his hip, rutting ever so gently. “Gods, Geralt.” It comes out a whine, and Jaskier’s sure he’ll hate himself later for how easily he’s undone but now there’s just contact, so much touch all over and hot breath against his neck and he lets his eyes flutter closed, lets himself feel.
“Did you actually fuck that man’s wife earlier? While I was at the armourer’s, maybe? Did she leave you with some good memories?”
It takes a second for Jaskier to catch up to the question with Geralt’s hard body leaned against him, a delightful weight. Right. Man in the bar. Implied he’d cuckolded him, that’s what determined the course of this whole bizarre evening.
“Or was it the barmaid? Was she what distracted you in the middle of that scene you caused?” Geralt sounds perfectly unaffected, somehow, that mild, ribbing tone he uses when he pretends to scoff at Jaskier’s antics. “The redhead. The one whose bed you hoped to be in tonight.”
And he’s right, of all the people in the crowded tavern she’d been the one who caught his eye, the one he’d be planning to direct his next song to. Of course Geralt had noticed. Geralt knows what Jaskier wants. Knows what he needs.
And that’s...that’s what this is, that’s what he’s doing. Jaskier had planned to find a lover for the evening, planned to slip into a blissful haze of fucking where he doesn’t have to concentrate on keeping this unwelcome longing at bay and even though it’s Jaskier’s own fault that opportunity slipped through his fingers, Geralt wants to give him some semblance of that release. It’s why he’s talking, why he’s bringing up these women he assumes drove Jaskier to distraction.
And with Geralt’s breath on his skin and hand on his cock and body leaned so heavily against his, Jaskier wants to give him an answer. Wants to give him everything there is.
What got you so hard in the middle of a bar fight?
Jaskier grasps the hand not stroking his cock and brings it to his throat.
The world stops.
His eyes fly open to meet Geralt’s, and he knows he’s made a mistake. The witcher withdraws quickly, stepping away, turning his back.
“Fuck, Geralt, no, I’m—”
“Stop.” Geralt doesn’t face him, but he’s not leaving, at least. “Don’t.”
Jaskier leans back against the tree, trying to catch his breath. He scrubs his hand over his face. Leave it to Jaskier to fuck up something this divine.
He watches those broad shoulders lower, his breathing even out, but the tension is still written in every line of his body. Geralt stands silent for a moment before he quietly asks, “That’s what...at the tavern?”
Wretched, Jaskier nods, but of course Geralt can’t see that, so he stammers out, “Ah, yes. It seems so.”
When he speaks again, his voice remains carefully flat. “You were afraid of me?”
“What?”
“Were you afraid of me? Back at the tavern.” He considers, then adds, “Or now?”
“Geralt, no,” and maybe he shouldn’t, maybe he should give him space, but Jaskier pushes away from the tree, scurrying over to him and clutching his shoulders frantically. “No, listen to me, Geralt, I’m a horny idiot, that’s the thing, it was just...I don’t know, it was sexy! It was sexy, seeing you manhandle him, imagining if you manhandled me, maybe, with your gloves and your hands and your muscles, I don’t know, it was just a fantasy, I suppose, it just happened, but certainly not because I was scared you’d hurt me.” An ugly, desperate laugh rises from his throat unbidden. “If anything it’s because I know you wouldn’t, Geralt, I know you’d keep me safe.”
The witcher looks past him, but Jaskier sees the tension in his jaw release, sees his chest move a little more freely with his breath. After a moment, Geralt nods. “Thought perhaps I’d misread this.” It’s low, almost too low to hear.
“I want you,” Jaskier blurts out, and he should stop talking, he really means to stop talking, “I want you. Quite a lot. The rough, ah, the choking thing, that’s all just...I don’t need that. Don’t want anything you don’t want.”
It’s all a little too raw, a little too genuine, and Jaskier realizes with a sudden sinking feeling that this may actually be worse than his initial blunder, that an unexpected predilection for rough sex is one thing but voicing that longing he’s worked so hard to keep sectioned away is something else entirely.
He’s about to apologize when he hears the low hum.
Geralt is studying him, head tilted to one side. There’s nothing on his face to indicate disgust or excitement, no rejection or acceptance; just those golden eyes meticulously examining him, just like they had that first night. Curious. Intrigued.
Fuck. Jaskier doesn’t need a hand on his throat to make it hard to breathe.
“No gloves.”
“Sorry, what?”
Rough fingertips map his throat lightly, not pressing, not caressing, just exploring. Jaskier recognizes this look, it’s the same studious evaluation he’d seen Geralt give that nekker corpse yesterday before he began harvesting organs from it and that should definitely kill the mood here but it doesn’t. He pauses, wide finger resting over a thunderous artery. “They’re too thick. Wouldn’t be able to feel if it’s too much.”
“Right,” Jaskier rasps out. “Right, yeah, good. No gloves is good.” And if the image of being thrown about like a ragdoll and forced against a wall had seemed erotic, it somehow doesn’t compare to the overwhelming potency of these careful, analytical touches with Geralt monitoring his breath, his heartbeat, his face.
“Do you still want to try?” It’s a low rumble, but Geralt’s eyes are boring into him and all Jaskier can do is nod aggressively, grabbing Geralt’s hand and pulling him back until he’s leaned against the tree again, pausing only to fling off his open doublet.
Geralt shakes his head, quickly disciplining the little entertained smile that flits across his features but not before Jaskier sees it. It sends a reckless, euphoric thrill through his whole body. “Ah Geralt, admit it, you think I’m endearing,” he grins, striking a dramatic pose against the tree.
“You’re a nuisance,” he snorts, but he snakes his hand down the front of the bard’s trousers again, stroking him with just enough pressure to coax him back to hardness.
Jaskier rocks gently into his fist, a small contented sigh morphing into something much more ragged when he feels that solid hand back on his throat.
“Tap my arm if you want to stop.”
Jaskier nods, delighting in the way his flesh shifts under Geralt’s hand at the motion. Slowly, almost imperceptibly at first, the fingers tighten. “Good?”
“Good.”
“More?”
“Please,” and it’s a whine but he doesn’t care. His eyes drift shut. It feels like the pounding pulse is flowing straight from his throat into Geralt’s hand, or maybe the other way around, it doesn’t matter when all he wants is to lose himself in this swelling, living tattoo.
The pressure lets up and there’s a rush, a bright heady flood of exhilaration and he can feel every cell tingling in his body as his lungs work overtime to compensate and he can’t help thrusting forward faster into the tight fist on his cock.
Geralt’s other hand stays in place, loosely cupping his throat, idly stroking the skin. “Eyes open,” he murmurs, nuzzling into the crook of Jaskier’s neck for just a moment, breathing him in, his own breath labored. When he pulls back he looks a little wrecked. “Eyes on me, yeah?”
Jaskier nods, leaning into both warm hands a little desperately. “More?”
Geralt groans as he applies careful, steady pressure.
It’s good. There’s something soothing about the gentle acceleration of that drumming, far-off and immediate at the same time, the only sound that exists here. Peaceful. Floaty, almost. He wonders vaguely if this is what Geralt feels when he meditates.
“Jaskier.” The voice cuts through the haze, low but firm, the softest command. He focuses on Geralt, that unwavering gaze fixed on him. “Stay with me.”
Where else would he want to be?
And he’s still floating but somehow those golden eyes are a tether, not grounding him entirely but keeping him from drifting away. And when the tension releases and the tidal wave of elation sweeps through him again it’s met with chapped lips on his throat and fingers scratching through the hair at the nape of his neck and a steadying weight against him, and when the dizziness settles and he rests against the reassuring stability of the oak behind him, then there’s shifting, moving, the harsh grinding voice asking a question Jaskier can’t make out but understands anyway, golden eyes full of that question staring up at him and Jaskier answers by threading his fingers through pale locks shining silver in the moonlight and the warm, strong hand stroking him is replaced with the soft heat of Geralt’s mouth.
He won’t last much longer, not with the way Geralt’s thick fingers grip him, digging into the meat of his ass, with the way he chokes a little taking Jaskier all the way down but keeps pulling him in, deeper, and it’s wet and messy and a little too divine.
“Fuck, Geralt, I…” he gasps, the closest to a warning he can formulate, but the witcher’s staring up at him through dark lashes and sucking him down harder and Jaskier surrenders, coming with a keening cry.
Geralt diligently works him through it, swallowing and dissolving into desperate noises around Jaskier as he feverishly strips his own cock. He releases Jaskier and buries his head in the crook of the bard’s hip, shoulders heaving harshly. Jaskier pets him soothingly, long fingers massaging his scalp tenderly through the broken moan, the shuddering aftershocks, the shallow breaths slowly evening out.
They stay that way for a few endless moments, neither willing to break the trance, the intimacy. Jaskier barely notices gentle fingers unlacing his boots, pulling off one then the other. Geralt deftly tucks the bard’s softening cock back into his smallclothes before carefully pulling off his trousers and folding them neatly. He stands slowly, guiding Jaskier to his bedroll and settling him there, crouching beside him moments later with a waterskin he presses to Jaskier’s lips.
“Best take care, witcher,” Jaskier teases softly, “a man could get used to such treatment.”
“Don’t,” Geralt grunts, but there’s no heat to it. He thoroughly inspects Jaskier’s neck, tilting his head one way then the other with two light fingers on his jaw. “Pain anywhere?”
“No pain.”
“Good.” Apparently satisfied, Geralt stands, undressing methodically and lying in his own bedroll. After a few moments of silence, he adds, “Wake me if anything hurts. Or if you have trouble breathing.”
Jaskier huffs a laugh, turning on his side to fix his companion with a rueful smile. “Geralt, have you ever known me to suffer in silence?” Those inscrutable eyes hold him, searching, so Jaskier reaches a tentative hand to his jaw. “Thank you. For your...indulgence.” There’s an entirely different tightness in his throat, suddenly. “For taking such good care of me.”
For a moment, Jaskier thinks Geralt may answer as he watches something unguarded yet still utterly indecipherable flit across the witcher’s scarred, handsome face. When he speaks, there’s something soothing in the low rumble. “Get some sleep, bard.”
And he does.
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Hiii i saw your matchups/cakes and I LOVE THEM. English is not my first language so i am sorry for any wrong spelings and grammar use lol. Can a Get a boy from Hq?????? I am a capricorn, with a lot of fire sign in my chart. ISTP. Tall girl, 175cm. Dark blond hair to under my shoulders, blue eyes. Lean bulid, but mby a little broad shoulders and waist. Enything else is normal ig. I indeed have cheek bones and jawline, a caps face traits a think. Stretch marked on my ass and things. Im just gonna keep my personality short cuz i dont know how to talk about myself. Im Shy and intro and first, then i will open up and become a messy and late-coming person. Im never on time to anything. Once you know me and logical thinking, feisty, dark humor type of funny, sly, stubborn, determind, strong minded, oberetiv and a daredevil. I will do enything for somthing in return. Nobody can hold me back. I am also a Clumsy person, a will let a word og two slip and offend somone, will break or forget somthing. Im always there my friends, help them out with everthing and my door is always open for them. Street smart all the way, i Can talk about enything and give tips and trix on enything. Im not the Life of the party, in a party im either outside or taking care of Ppl or i am sipping for other ppls drinks. I listen to pop/rock but i Can vibe to anything. I also love pasta. And cats, but im allergic): I overthink a lot, tend to bottle up on my emotions and then just let it burst when im alone. I got bullied as a kid, thats why i keep to myself and have Some close friends and then friends i dont trust that much. I like long lasting realtionships and friendships. I wont settle for somthing that i dont belive will work. I just want to feel safe and loved and held, lol. Am i rly ugly cryer btw so i wont look into another persons eyes. I train a lot, do sport shooting, wresle a lot with my friends and dad in a safe way ofc. I love to have a friendly and funny wtesle. I lough a lot. I said i do sport shooting, and i hate it when ppl take it the wrong way and starts to compare it to illegal activity. That my biggest pet peeve, and loud chewers. I LOVE CHEES AND CARD GAMES. Also late night means and snacks. My favorite time is like late at night, after sundown. Late night walks. Laser tag or paint ball is a must, Water and pillow fights AGH my dreams. Also, just to chill in a bathtub👌🏻✨Pfffff Idk what more. I would like a boy form Haikyuu, whos taller than me. Would be up to my randome and mby dangerous ideas, but also calm and relaxing when it fits the mood. Dosent need to know how to comfort a crying person, just like do the basics and ill be fine. THANK YOU SO MUCH😘
@sussebassen
Romantic Matchup
Tendou Satori
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How Y’all Met
Ahhhh
Y’all had a class together
And EVERY SINGLE DAY you would show up late
Every. Single. Day
It doesn’t matter if you we’re 5 minutes late, or 15 minutes late
You never showed up on time
This peeked Tendous interest...
So, he asked you about it
You then explained how you never try to be late, it just always happened
Then one day
Satori was walking to class
The bell was going to ring soon so he was trying to hurry
Then he saw you
You were also just trying to get to class ON TIME for once
But you tripped...
And you fell...
And ALL of your papers went everywhere 🥲
You silently cursed to yourself before rushing to pick up your things
And you we’re startled when a certain redhead began to help you
You guys had gathered all of your things before RUNNING to get to class
And you guys were still able to make it on time 😃
The teacher made a remark that maybe you should hang around Tendou more often if it gets you to class on time
Little did he know that you would do just that
Apparently you both had similar interests
So you guys became really good friends
And feeling began to bloom over time
Poor bb was to scared to confess to you tho :(
He didn’t want to scare off one of the only friends he had
Of course he told all of this to Ushijima
And of course Ushijimas LOUD MOUTH
spilled the beans
Unintentionally of course
But still
He just didn’t get the gist that all of this was supposed to be a secret
So one day when he and Tendou were walking together
They saw you
And Ushijima was just like “ah your that person that Tendou likes correct?”
You:😳
Him:🙂
Tendou: 🥲
Tendou then took you aside and properly confessed his feelings
He was 100% sure you were gonna reject him
“I like you too Tendou”
I’m sorry what????
He was SHOCKED
Baffled
Beguiled
But SUPER DUPER HAPPY
he pulled you in for a bone crushing hug
And promised to be the best bf ever
Awww my boy luvs ya
What They Love About You
Ight I’m just gonna say it...
Mans ADORES your stretch marks
He thinks they’re so cool!!!
He often compares you to a tiger because of them
Oof
He LOVES your sense of humor
He also has a darker sense of humor
So you guys mesh very well when it comes to that
Loves that you have the combo of being sly and a daredevil
If there’s one thing satori loves...
It’s pranks
So those traits of yours make pranks so much easier to pull off 😩
He loves how he can talk to you about ANYTHING
He knows that if he’s ever distressed about something he can go to you
So he’s vv grateful for that 🙏
Favorite Things To Do Together
Oh he LOVES to play card games
His favorites is slap Jack
WARNING: he gets REALLY into that game
So he hits HARD
So be prepared...
He 100% swoops you away to stores in the middle of the night
Have you guys been caught sneaking out?
Yes
Was that the last time you did it?
Absolutely not
LASER TAGGGGGG
YOU WILL GET DESTROYED
MANS IS THE KING OF LASER TAG
So just take that L
Also paintball
He’s not that good at paintball
Mans aim is booty
But he still likes to play!
Random Hc
You’d actually be quite shocked on how chill he could be
Like sometimes he just reads his manga sin silence
If you want to talk then sure
But those are the moments he prefers to be quiet
The reason he’s so good at laser tag...
Is because kids used to target him 🥲
So he had to adapt...
And now he’s a pro!
If you ever want to talk to him about your bullyed past
ON GOD mans is always there for you
He knows what it feels like
So his goal is to comfort you when it comes to that
Honestly
Mf chews loud...
So that’s something you’d have to work on 😃
But he’ll try his best to stop if it bothers you THAT much
Astrology
Capricorn + Taurus
When Taurus and Capricorn come together in a love match, it’s a practical, sensible partnership.
These two Signs share a certain down-to-earth logic and interest in efficiency.
Taurus is not interested in risking more than is necessary in terms of emotional connection and involvement, and Capricorn is similarly disinterested in risk, but more in terms of money and career.
Capricorn’s career is one of the great focuses of their lives; they’re interested in scaling the heights and tend to set very high standards for themselves to adhere to.
Taurus has high standards as well, but regarding love, relationships and possessions.
These two signs admire ones dedication and strength, but, while they have this in common as well as a dependable, realistic, somewhat conservative approach to life (Capricorn more than Taurus), a love relationship between them can go stale fast.
The problem? They’re actually rather different at their cores.
Taurus may begin to find Capricorn too conservative and restrictive
Capricorn may start to think Taurus is too lazy and doesn’t care enough about career and status.
If Taurus can encourage Capricorn to relax a little and appreciate the fruits of labor, and if Capricorn can help motivate Taurus to achieve goals and make dreams a reality, their union can be smooth, happy and long-lasting.
Overall Aesthetic
Chaotic Teenage Romance
Songs
Electric Love- BØRNS
Line Without a Hook- Ricky Montgomery
Scrawny- Wallows
Hey Lover- Wabie
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Hi again! Sorry for not using ask box at first, I'm on mobile lol. Anyways I was hoping you can do the compainions with a male reader who has PTSD and fluff happens? Its no biggue if you can't! Thanks!
Cait:
(I strongly headcanon she has ptsd as well)
“Hey, ya aren’t looking too good......oh shite.”
All because the house you were searching scrap for had a particularly familiar blue crib within it. She knew from the second your eyes went hazy that something was gravely wrong. However it was when you approached the crib and you became numb to her touches and words she was queued to take action.
With a light sigh she finally forced your unseeing gaze away from the crib, dismayed at the far off look your eyes held.
“Sole, look at me, you’re stronger than this.” She whispered in an uncharacteristically soft voice. “Come on, let’s just get out of here and go get a pint. Sound good?”
~~
Curie:
“Shh, everything is alright mon amour.”
To say she was confused at first would be a vast understatement. It was for once a normal day, no scavenging, no violence, not even a disenchanted settler going off. Everything was calm and yet you could do nothing to stop the horror of a long gone scene rearing its ugly face, sending terror coursing through your veins. To add to your dismay, you couldn’t stop yourself from striking the petite scientist when she got too close. The illusion was abruptly torn away to reveal her bloody nose and hurt look in her eyes.
After this you tried your best to try to explain yourself through feverish tears, only to be stopped by her with her understanding gaze as she gently sat you down and made haste to administer a mild tranquilizer to ease your troubled mind.
~~
Danse: (he canonically has ptsd)
“Soldier? Sole look at me, I know what you’re going through. I’ve got you.”
Danse definitely isn’t the best at emotional thing, let alone comforting someone. However when he was laying beside your trembling form in your shared bed he knew he had to do something. He took it upon himself to roll you to face him, sighing as you adverted your red tearful eyes from meeting his gaze.
“I-..Danse, it was like I was there all over again.” You sniffled, gasping as he hummed whilst bringing you close into his chest.
“Y-you’re not anymore, no..you’re safe now. I..I wouldn’t let you be in that situation ever again.”
Although he knew well that words would never stop the traumatic nightmares much less absolve either of you from the burden, at least it calmed you.
~~
Deacon:
“Woah, sole it’s just me!”
Naturally Deacon reverted using humor when he saw the first signs of your distress. He was quick to realize the severity of the situation whenever you whipped your head back to look at him with terrified eyes and your hand quickly reaching for your gun.
Luckily you were able to snap yourself out of it before anything terrible became of the situation, but from there on Deacon knew to avoid certain places and worked especially hard on spending a few off days with you to give the rest your mind desperately needed.
~~
Gage:
“God damnit sole, get your head back about ya.”
He’d beat himself to hell and back over it once he realized what was really going on. But..when sole first displayed symptoms of an episode he teased them about it at first, the playfulness fading into annoyance when they refused to leave their home and get their “overboss duties” taken care of for the day.
It was when sole got angry enough to buck up to the raider that he understood exactly what was going on. Well, it was more or less the trembling and tense jaw that gave it away.
“I...I’m sorry.”
~~
Hancock:
“Don’t fret, I’ve gotcha sunshine.”
To be perfectly honest Hancock has seen all kinds of shit being mayor of Goodneighbor so seeing sole absolutely lose their shit at the sound of glass shattering wasn’t a particularly strange ordeal. He didn’t even think to directly link it to an underlying mental illness, no, that wasn’t at the forefront of his mind at the time. The first thing he did was tend to the symptoms of the blatant panic attack, popping a fresh inhaler of jet into his sunshine‘s mouth to calm them down.
Of course after they were calmed he gingerly approached the subject and once they revealed what caused the abrupt panic he gave a solemn smile and nodded in acknowledgement, pulling you into his arms for a loving hug.
~~
Macready:
“Take as much time as you need boss, the caps will still be out there for our taking later.”
He was pretty accustomed to people with ptsd, but seeing his dearest inflicted with him made his heart pang. Either way he understood that even if it wasn’t a flashback or something big, your sudden lack of motivation was also because of the illness. So despite his nature he just laid in bed beside you, occasionally getting up to get food and so, trying to take your mind off of whatever was preoccupying it.
~~
Maxson:
(Totally has ptsd as well)
“It doesn’t make it any better, I know, but I’m here for you.”
He’s grown to suspect every soldier in the brotherhood would eventually develop some form of a stress disorder but that still didn’t prepare him to see his precious sentinel in such disarray and fearful when he approached them overlooking the railing of the airship.
“Sole...” he started with a sigh, his fingers nervously twitching when you didn’t acknowledge his words. “Let’s go back inside.” Was all he could say, eventually just resorting to wrapping an arm around your waist and leading you to captain Cade’s office. That night he did his level best to provide you as much comfort as possible, fixing you both a glass of whiskey and snuggling into your side.
~~
Nick Valentine:
“Doll, if this is too close to home it’s alright.”
He should’ve known better than to bring you along a case, a case where a parent was trying to find their missing child. He just knew it wouldn’t be okay. His suspicions were confirmed as you started to feel in horror walking down a familiar path, unwanted thoughts progressively turning into complete flashbacks as Boston’s chilly air seemed to overtake you. Reminding you all over again of the cold tomb you awoke out of. Before you knew what was happening you were sitting on the cold cement curb of some ruined highway with nick close beside you, sharing a cigarette while gazing at the sky. That was the first and only case nick didn’t get to resolve with you since your partnership.
~~
Old Longfellow:
“Alright cap’n, calm down.”
He would of course been around long enough to see a whole rainbow of ptsd related symptoms. Seeing sole’s widened eyes and quickened breath at a seemingly harmless remark of a harbor person, he knew what was up. That being said he isn’t exactly a “let’s hug it out” kind of person so he instead settled for bringing his lover back to their cabin and pouring some drinks. He wouldn’t dare ask what caused that reaction but if sole was apt to speak he’d be happy to listen.
~~
Piper:
“Um blue..you know I don’t expect you to do all of this, right?”
It was quite the unusual symptom of ptsd but no matter what, even if you were sick you just couldn’t stop yourself from going the extra mile in absolutely everything you do for piper. That wasn’t a bad thing per se but..whenever you began to not even sleep more than four hours before waking and wanting go hound for more stories she knew something was terribly wrong.
It took a while to drag it out of you but once she took time to sit and you let the cat out of the bag she was horrified at first but slowly began to understand. So to attempt to remedy your illness she takes special care to remind you that it isn’t necessary to always be doing something for everyone. Self care is key.
~~
Preston:
“General, for once..the settlements can wait.”
He was well aware of your illness the very first time you displayed even a minor trait. So once the nightmares shook you into a hallucinating awareness he embraced you through your vicious yells and even your pained sobs. The next morning when you tried to pretend nothing happened he hugged you once more, taking your gun from your hands before shaking his head.
“Let’s take today off..”
~~
X6-88:
“Sole just breathe.”
Calm and collected was his m.o., no matter what. Be it his programming or just his core personality. That being said he truly did feel concern whenever he saw his normally equally calm love spiral down into a feverish frenzy of anger and confusion. However instead of wasting time he simply teleported back to the institute with you in (embarrassingly enough) literally in his arms, marched up to the doctor and demanded immediate assessment and treatment. Ranks be damned.
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the-satellite · 3 years
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Hello friends and welcome to ☆Hateful Nostalgia☆. I was exposed to the mob talker mod WAY too young bc I was an unsupervised child on the internet watching mod showcases and SkyDoesMinecraft. Looking back these sucked, the stories were often bland and the designs were milk toast at best and tits out at worst. So for the sake of procrastinating on working on anything substantial I grabbed the main 6 I remembered and gussied em up. Redesigns, rewrites, better names, all that bullshit. If your interested in better photos, design notes, story details and rambling hit the basement, otherwise here's a line up you should click for better quality.
Also I wrote all this once before already but I deleted it like a dumb bitch. On the night Unus Annus was murdered in front of my eyes no less. Was a rough fuckin night.
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The Creeper- Kupa. An explosive pyromaniac with a habit of making empty threats and yelling. She protects what she believes to be her territory with a suicidal passion, but if you manage to get her to cool down and soften up she's pretty sick to hand out with. Hard of hearing, has at least one bout of head trauma at all times, and deathly allergic to cats.
Because the creeper is kinda the og I wanted to reference AT2's design more than the others, but I'm p sure the only thing I actually kept was the red hair and brown gloves. Otherwise I was doing whatever. I really wanted to lean into the explody bit of creepers, so I gave her some bite and dressed her in clothes referenced from Irish railroad workers. This may also be why I keep imaging her with a very heavy Irish or Scottish accent, whichever would be most incomprehensible when angry. Every color but her skin was color picked from one of the references, with some minor alterations for makes my eyes happy reasons.
With Kupa I imagine a story line with her would largely be about her as a character and her development than like an actual adventure narrative like everyone else. She starts off ready to blow up both you and herself in a misguided attempt to defend what she sees as her's and opens up and learns not everyone is out to get her. Lots of time taken to understand her childhood and how she ended up how she is. Very simple, probably the default or tutorial run people would go through.
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The Zombie- Bee. The ill husk of a missing explorer suffering from a less than conventional appetite. She wallows in her self imposed loneliness, believing herself to be an irredeemable monster doomed to hurt those around her. What she really needs is a buddy and some clue to who she used to be. Rough voiced, chronically fatigued, and prone to spontaneous combustion in sunlight.
 I definitely consider this one the weakest for design sadly. I imagined Zombies as humans who went into strange caves and caverns and didn't come out for years, only to pop up as completely different people. I just tossed AT2's design. The first thing I did was make her a bit of a genderbent Steve and tinted her green bc Zombies in game are just Steve but green. Tore up her clothes, colored picked the darkest colors I could from the clothes on the in game and boom, Bee. I do vaguely regret not making her eyes pure black but I also still wanted her to be human enough to fit with the other overworld mods.
 Ok so Bee actually has a basic story. When you meet her she's aggressive, but as a warning. She fears the possibility she may hurt somebody so heads for threats immediately. Going back and forth between her cave and village for a while you learn more about the situation with the missing folks who come back and Bee as a person. After a bit you pick her up off her depressed ass and start a nocturnal adventure of refinding your past, adapting to who your becoming, overcoming self destuction, and slow burn babey!!! 
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The Skeleton- Ulna. One of the few surviving warriors of a now destroyed kingdom and dead culture. She spends most of her time now traveling alone, hiding in trees and shooting anything see sees as a threat- which is everything- in the face with homemade arrows. Very much suffering from loss of her home and a bad case of lost purpose. A woman of few words, very antisocial, and naturally nocturnal.
 I came in with the Skeleton wanting to make her seem mysterious, so my first thought was immediately a cloak and a mask, but I wanted her face to like be visible so I went with the face paint. I didn't actually know that I wanted to do under there so I went with wraps that are reminiscent of the original outfit but still not tits out bc it's so fucking easy! Gave her a quiver, color picked the cloak and face paint from the in game model and the wraps from AT2'S art. I did like. Subconsciously draw her eyes the way I do Asian characters but I didn't have anything specific in mind so like go nuts with what you think she is.
 Ulna's deal is very much her lack of purpose or home and the entire thing is about finding that again. She's found sitting up in a tree during a storm pointing a bow and arrow into your face. She eventually let's you stick around until the storm is over and theres some bonding into deep night until the rain stops. You ask if she wants to come with on your little travelling sword for hire business, she says sure, sleep schedule shenanigans, backstory angst, and road trip bonding happens and she eventually decides that helping people is her new purpose and you're her new home
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The Spider- Park. A young adult experiencing the world for the first time through her tribe's rite of passage. She's really just trying to figure out how to live life outside of the cave she's been stuck in her entire life and aggressively trying to be an independent adult despite not knowing anything about being an independent adult. Its projection. Blind in the daylight, naive and excitable, and taken to refusing help at her own risk.
 Ok so. I don't know who looked at the spider and said "purple haired loli with puffy pants" so I once again yeeted the whole thing, only really keeping the kinda cutesy and childish bits. Spiders are a tribe of humans what live in caves unless they've broken off to live on the surface. Kids are kept inside until they hit a certain milestone, where they come up to explore at night. They're usually small and pale, but are pretty kickass when necessary. Again picked the colors off the in game model, played with the lightest gray for the skin, and bc I couldn't figure out anyway to use the stripes so they're on the patches lol.
 Park's meeting is probably the funniest and most meet cute one here, in that she accidentally drops on top of you from a little cliff drop off. Cue loads of apologies and an explanation about the spider deal and being blind in light. She asks for some help getting around and bam babey friendship and emotional attachment! What follows is kinda a buddy of coming of age story with the obligatory goes home and is miserable scene. Generally it's just about being a scared young adult and having someone to fall back on and why that's important. Also crushes and young people being bad at that.
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 The Blaze- Amber. A demonic entity who would let the world burn and the sun die if it meant she'd get her soul back. She's known for being ruthless, taking souls through force instead of making deals like other Blazes. Keeps this forceful nature even once she's become friendly, makes you do dump shit. Territorial, eyes glow and dim with her life, and runs remarkably warm.
 Amber here is the first one I actually did! I was just. Really tired that she was in a bikini. I decided early on I wanted overworld mobs to be human and everyone else was decidedly not, so Blazes are demons who gave up their souls under false pretenses to other Blazes. Because of how little clothes AT2's design wore I had essentially free reign and my thought was immediately to lean on golden knight bc of how Blazes are found protecting fortresses. The gold isn't picked from anything bc I was looser with the colors, but everything else is, and the hair is supposed to represent the smoke. Also the sticks in her hair are blaze rods bc I don't like them just floating around her.
Amber is found in the Nether obviously, protecting a fortress and immediately trying beat your ass and either incinerate you or make you give up your soul. During you prove yourself a p damn good fighter and she makes a deal to show you how Blazes exist and pursade you to give your soul up willingly. Bonding happens and she explains where the souls go and what happened to her. Insert line about how she dug in the sand for her soul until her fingers bleed bc I'm an Arcana freak lol. In general I'd just like her to learn to adapt to who she is now and learning to live life well instead of letting her anger burn her up from the inside out.
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 The Enderman- Violet. A confused but sweet young bit of void created by and connected to the Ender Dragon. Her relationship with reality is tenuous at best and abusive at worst, making stable existence rather difficult. She doesn't know a name, age, gender, anything about herself aside from that she likes sweaters. Communicates primarily through psychic connections, docile and sweet, and melts like a witch in water.
 Violet was incredibly easy, so this may be way short. Endermen are decidedly human shaped void from the End with varying sentience. They're direct extensions of the Ender Dragon, and nobody knows how they're made or where they come from, not even they do. Adventurers who escaped The End say they seem scared of it though. Violet in particular is pretty damn new and extraordinary nonconforming, and I tried to show that with her sweater and ponytail. Once again, literally all colors picked. Definitely the simplest but one of my favs.
Violet is the sweetest meet up I think. As your traveling between villages you notice a strange enderman watching you and plant a little flower in front of her. She picks it and you hear a happy little trill come from you and a pretty voice say thank you in your head. Now you have a tall dark teleporting travel buddy! After a little bit of back and forth she tells you in some broken English that the Ender Dragon made her but she doesnt know how, and that it's bad and needs to be killed for the sake of Endermen and that's the new goal. Spoiler they're the corrupted souls of those that died fighting it, with it gone Endermen are free to exist as their own being and do whatever, hurray!
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conaionaru · 4 years
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Honor and Blood (Ivar the Boneless)
The plan of the Gods
Synopsis: Vanya has some doubts about her path. Which creates some drama between her and Ivar (only slight we will take it one drama at a time).
Warning: angst, fluff, mentions of manipulation, description of poor people, orphans, Ivar, toxic family
Tagged
@shannygoatgruff @youbloodymadgenius @xbellaxcarolinax @heavenly1927 @lol-haha-joke @queenbeeta​ @didiintheblog​
P.S.:
 Anything written in bold and cursive is a flashback.
 Anything in cursive is in Old Norse.
My writers block is over for now. So hopefully it will keep away for at least three chapters.^^
I don't own the gifs. Also, thank you for your support. I really appreciate it.
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When Vanya was young, her father attended meetings with the council every week. Every seven days, he spent three hours locked inside the throne room, talking to wise men. She remembers the day he allowed her and Silas to attend too. She was so excited to see all these important men made big decisions.
"King Osmond of Slegia, son of King Eadwine the Brave, second of his name. His wife, Queen Siflæd, Princess of Wrosan. Their firstborn Prince Silas and his sister Princess Vanya." One of the councilmen announced their arrival at the meeting with foreign royals.
The room was filled with men, old or young, all looking serious. Her father sat down on his throne with their mother next to him and her and Silas sitting on little chairs on her left. Her father told her it was a crucial meeting, and it would be better if they were all there. Even if they just sat there and smiled at some people.
"My dear lords, thank you for coming. I called you all here to talk to you about the threat that has plagued England for some time now." King Osmond said in his grave, commanding voice that sounded so different as to when he spoke to Vanya. It wasn't a king's voice that showed affection. It was cold and to the point.
"And what might that threat be, my king?" The lord who asked the question was old and bald. Next to him sat a younger boy, maybe of fourteen.
Osmond scoffed and glared at the stupid man. Of course, he knew what he was talking about. "The Northmen--"
"The Northmen are no threat. Ragnar Lothbrok was defeated and hides somewhere nursing his pride. He has for three years now." Another visitor cut off Osmond, waving his hand around like it was no big deal.
Osmond leaned forward in his seat and stared at the men before him with a cold gaze. "Ragnar Lothbrok may be hiding. But his heirs aren't. What of his son and his wife? What of his other sons? They aren't hiding. They are biding their time, and we must be prepared when they attack. We can't ignore the threat that grows stronger with time. When his sons are grown, they might invade England in their father's name. What of the settlement in Wessex? The slaughtered Vikings. The Northmen are loyal; they will try to avenge their own. I can feel it. And we must be ready; we must heighten our defenses, ready our soldiers."
The room grew so silent you could barely hear the breathing of the twenty men, one woman, and two children. Vanya watched the quite royals thinking the words over. They held no fear anymore, ever since the Vikings stopped raiding with Ragnar, they felt safe. They got comfortable.
"We should attack them!" Cried out the fourteen-year-old boy at the table. Everybody looked at him, some shaking their heads other agreeing. They were men of honor, stupid men, but men of honor no less. They thought war was the answer to everything, even if it is a lost war.
"Why can't we make peace?" Vanya asked, looking up at her father from her chair. The room got quiet again. Some men sneered in disgust at the child's simple words. Siflæd rolled her eyes in shame while Silas glared at her as if his gaze could set his sister on fire. The King looked at her with a blank face instead.
"Tell me, Vanya... How should we do that?" Osmond asked her, humoring his youngest child despite the group of councilmen before him.
Vanya bit her lower lip and twiddled with her fingers nervously. "We could give them something and ask them to leave us alone." She suggested hoping her father would like the answer. The wet nurse always told her that if she wanted something, she should ask politely. So it could work with these strangers too.
Osmond chuckled and mentioned for Vanya to come to him. He pulled her onto his lap and showed her the cross around his neck. "This is a cross my father gave to me when I was your age. He told me that God could protect anyone who needs help. But those men you want to negotiate with don't pray to this cross. They don't see faith and protection; they see gold. And if I were to collect all the gold, silver, and crosses in this kingdom and offered it to them, what do you think would happen?"
Vanya thought hard about her father's words. But before she could answer, he cut her off. "We are a small kingdom, Vanya. We can't offer them how much they want. They are greedy men. And they could go back on their word and attack us anyway. God wouldn't help us if we tried that. No matter how many golden crosses we might give them. It would save lives, yes, but negotiation isn't always the answer. We are a small kingdom; they wouldn't negotiate with us. It would be easier to fight us instead. It's noble for you to think of peace, but not everyone thinks that way."
After he finished his speech, he sat the eight-year-old redhead back down and sent her back to her chair. Silas sat next to her watching her every step with a hateful look, gripping the armrests tightly. When the meeting was over, Siflæd left the two children behind and returned to her chambers. Silas ran after her stomping his way and huffing like an angry bull. And so Osmond was left alone with his daughter.
She looked up at him with sad eyes. The young Princess hoped there was a way for peace. She didn't want him to go to war. People die in wars; her father didn't deserve to die. "You are a good girl, Vanya. One day you will make an excellent Queen. I am sure of it. That's why you should learn the ways of a ruler. We don't just make deals, little Spark. Sometimes fighting is necessary, that's why you should know to pick your battles. Fight every battle in your mind first, then move to the battlefield. Don't just jump into action; it could cost you your life and your people's lives. You are the daughter of a king, a small king, but a king nonetheless. Be smarter than your enemy. Bargain when needed and to fight when necessary."
Vanya looked at her father, curiously. It made no sense to her. "The wet nurse says the men fight. I am not a man."
Osmond chuckled and led her to a map on the table where the councilmen sat not so long ago. "Do you see this? Silas will rule this kingdom one day. He may be only twelve right now, but soon he will be a man. And men fight wars with other men. He is too quick to go into battle. Too eager to sacrifice his men in any fight. He will need a calm woman by his side to make him reconsider his choices. Some queens secretly pull strings. They whisper words into their husband's ears and make them think they were their thoughts.  You will be somebody's wife one day. The wife of a king, perhaps."
Vanya watches the borders of Slegia surrounded by the woods and other villages and cities. "So, you want me to whisper to my husband?" She asked, confused, not understanding what he wanted.
"Maybe you will have to do so. Maybe he will be a smart man. But it's better if he has an intelligent wife too. A silent little mouse isn't always the answer. So be smart, Vanya. Clever people make it further."
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Vanya kneeled on the ground on a hill, praying to the Norse gods for guidance. She had been kneeling there for the past hour. Her knees hurt from the hard ground as she waited for answers or a sign. Yet nothing came—nothing from the Norse gods or God himself. She was at her wit's end.
Vanya was not Queen material, no matter what anybody might say. When Silas became the King, she swore she would never be like him. He was cruel and didn't care about his people. No matter what Silas might have said when her brother sent her away. He would have sacrificed his subjects if he didn't need to rule over somebody. Silas cared more about the title and crown than about anybody else. 
But if Vanya ever were to be a queen, she would care for her people, protect them from harm, and make them love her. That's why she helped the people of Kattegat. She wanted them to be happy and not obligated to support her. In her eyes, the enemy weren't men with swords and armies. Those were her brother's enemies; the enemy of the people is poverty. And she will fight a battle against it in their name.  That's the battle she chooses for herself. Let men fight their wars with steel and blood. Her fight was against hunger, the cold, and illnesses. She will continue to be the Princess of the people. 
"There you are, I have been looking for you like mad." A voice startled her from her determined thoughts. She looked over her shoulder to see Ivar crawling towards her, annoyed. He froze when he saw her kneeling position. "What are you doing?"
"I was praying for wisdom," she explained, turning towards him and sitting down with her back against the stone she prayed against. 
Ivar huffed and crawled in front of her, glaring at her for some reason. "And to who were you praying? The true Gods or the imaginary Christian one?" He spat the words at her making her flinch.
Vanya clenched her hands and frowned at his tone of voice. "Honestly... Both. I'm hoping for answers, but mostly, I just think in silence."
Ivar scoffed and looked away from her as if he couldn't bear the sight of her. Vanya reached out to her husband, but he pulled his hand away and glared back at her. "Of course, the gods don't answer you. You are praying to that filthy Saxon god!"
"I am praying to him because I need guidance, and I always prayed to him before I met you. It's a habit, Ivar. I am not Christian! But he was my father's God; he is my family's God!"
"Yes, the God of the family that hates you and sent you away. The God of your dead father, what a useful God he is!"
"Stop it! I don't want to fight! I am sorry, just shut up!" Ivar growled at her bold tone of voice and slithered to her like a snake waiting to strike. The Viking got face to face with his wife and pierced her with a cold gaze. His eyes reminding her of the sea at the brink of freezing over. 
"What could be of such importance that you would dare to pray to him? Huh? What was so pressing you had to pray for wisdom?" He hissed at her making her shake in her spot in fear. She was afraid of him. How fast the joy faded from their relationship.
"Your mother told me things that made me question my faith. I already doubt myself with every step I take. And I needed answers that no one could give me. So I ask both my old God and my new gods."
Ivar pulled away from her with a frown on his handsome face, the coldness in his eyes slowly fading. "What did my mother tell you?"
"She wants me to use people to manipulate them by being nice to them. To help you and your brothers raise in the world. I am not a liar, Ivar. That is not my way." She revealed her hands clasped in fists with her knuckles white. Vanya felt her fingernails digging into her soft skin leaving behind a stinging pain. 
Her husband stared at her, blinking but not giving anything away. His face was better guarded than Kattegat itself. "Why did you come to pray then? If you know that, that's not your way."
"I don't want to disappoint her! I admire her. But I can't pretend to be someone I am not." The ginger blurted out her eyebrows drawn together, a pout on her lips as she loosened her fists. 
"Then, don't pretend," Ivar responded like it was that easy. If it were that simple, she wouldn't be on top of a hill with sore knees. "Ignore Mother."
"It's not that easy. I can't just do whatever I want to do, Ivar. It's expected of me to listen." She tried to explain to him, her voice getting higher and higher with every word—all of Vanya's recent decision gone because of Ivar's interference. 
Ivar sneered at her and looked over his home. He watched the people walk around, going about their day. "You are my wife. Do whatever you want to do as long as it's not praying to false gods. If anybody says anything to you, you tell me, and I will take care of it. You don't want to manipulate people, then don't. It is that easy."
Vanya gazed at the side of his head with wonder. She expected him to yell at her some more for going against his mother's wishes. Yet there he sat, calmed down, encouraging her to be herself. He had a temper, but he also had a brain. "Thank you."
"Don't thank me. Next time you want answers, ask the Aesir or the Seer." He ordered ready to leave when he saw Vanya check her palms and hiss. Ivar crept towards the ginger and pulled one of her palms towards himself. 
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Her palms held bloody half circles from her nails that stung a little bit. Ivar looked them over with his brows knitted together in concern. The Viking observer her defeated and ashamed front.
"I hate the Christian God, that won't change. You said yourself that you don't believe in him. But I am sorry for yelling." Despite the sincerity behind his words, it was evident to Vanya that he had trouble apologizing to her. But the fact that he did it anyway warmed her heart. He truly regretted his earlier tantrum.
He then looked back down on her hands and cupped her smaller palms in between his calloused ones. He then bought them up to her lips and gave them a kiss in apology. "Never hurt yourself again."
Vanya nodded at his pleading and smiled a little smile at him. She made her choice, and after some arguing, she had a supporter. The Princess would be herself. She had no desire to manipulate people, if her kindness did attract people to the Ragnarssons side, then so be it. But she would never intentionally do it.
Vanya stood up with Ivar's support and walked by his side to the chambers to take a bath and get ready for bed as the sun set behind them. They were quite the vision, the girl with flaming hair, and her head held high and a boy crawling by her side with eyes crafted of bright skies and frozen seas.
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embeanwrites · 4 years
Text
Finding Home Gavin Reed x Reader
Chapter 15
Masterlist
Connor had driven me home after we finished the movie and now, I was laying in bed looking at my phone. I decided to send Gavin a text before heading to bed.
 How’s burning the midnight oil with Nines?
 lame, i wish i was with my cats
 Me too lol
 how was dinner
 Pretty good, we watched Into the Spider-Verse after. Connor had never seen it!
 i haven’t either
 You’re joking, right? Is this the Jameson and Ginger Ale thing again?
 i barely have time for new movies, let alone old ones
 We’re watching it ASAP
 lol ok pipsqueak
hey i have bad news
 Damn, you couldn’t secure a place for the Dead Mom Society to meet? Or is the bakery out of chocolate chip cookies?
 no i have to work through lunch on monday
 :(
What are you going to have for lunch then?
 idk a pb&j from the breakroom
 Would it ruin your “working through lunch” if I brought you lunch and we eat it in the breakroom?
 nines wont be too happy
 Tell him it’s revenge for lying and setting us up!
 ok ill work on him and let u know
 Awesome! Good luck saving the city tonight, Batman!
 ur the biggest nerd ive ever met
yet for some reason i like u
 Awwwwww you like me
 …hm
 Yeah, yeah I like you too
I gotta go to bed, talk to you later
 Sleep tight, pipsqueak
I smiled at the screen for a moment, even if that nickname was rude and had started as an insult, it was his thing for me now. I'm an adult woman. A nickname shouldn't make me feel this giddy, but here I am, grinning at a now black phone screen, thinking about how he only grins and never smiles and how handsome it is when half his face scrunches up to accommodate those grins. I wonder if he's grinning now, a small one at his desk, maybe into a cup of coffee to hide it while he returns to his case files. I hope he's grinning, feeling like a stupid teenager. I hope he likes me as much as I'm starting to like him. I fell asleep soon after, thinking of what I should bring him for lunch, trying to guess what would surprise him most without being too flashy, what I could do to make him grin for me again.
 I woke up the next morning around 10 am, and laid in bed for a moment questioning how necessary it was for me to get out of this nice warm cocoon of blankets, with the sunlight streaming in gently just out of my eyes, and sighed loudly when I remembered that it was indeed necessary that I get out of bed, as Tina would be here to pick me up at 11:30. I kicked the covers off, grabbing my phone off the charger and moving to sit on the edge of the bed to check it before truly getting up. The first notification was a text from Gavin, sent around 5 a.m. 
u can come on monday probs around 11 bring whatever im not picky
 Will do, Batman!
I turned on a throwback playlist while I got ready, a quick shower where I debated too long over shaving my legs before I actually did so, thinking about how Tina might have me try on a suit or dress for the wedding. I hadn't decided what I wanted to go for yet, hence the indecisiveness with the razor. Eventually I bit the bullet and just took the extra five minutes to shave just to the tops of my knees, not bothering with my thighs as I highly doubted I'd be wearing a mini dress to a formal event, though it might be fun to see how Gavin would react to more revealing clothes. I filed the thought away while I got out of the shower, toweling off and tying the towel around my hair and brushing my teeth. By the time I had thrown on a pair of well loved jeans and a plain tee, Tina was calling me, I answered and before I could even put the phone to my ear, I could hear music blaring in the background, and then Tina screamed "HERE BITCH!" and promptly hung up. I pocketed the phone, and hurried looking for my Birkenstocks, of course they weren't by the door, they were in front of the fridge, where I had stopped last night upon arriving home to grab some food before heading to bed. I slid the sandals on, stopping for a moment to grab two packets of the applesauce squeezies for a quick breakfast. 
By the time I got to the car, Tina was listening to a different song, but the volume was the same, I'm sure my poor neighbors who were trying to sleep in on a Sunday morning were not very pleased. I opened the door and slid in, Tina turned the volume down. What a shame, she had excellent taste in music, ‘Do I Wanna Know?’ by Arctic Monkeys isn't a song you just turn down! 
"Took you long enough!" She laughed, a smile stretching across her face. 
"Shut up I couldn't find my shoes!" I shouted, holding up my feet and wiggling my toes in the most comfortable pair of shoes ever made. She looked at my feet and raised her eyebrows, snorting.
"Jesus Christ I’m a lesbian and I still wouldn’t wear those ugly ass shoes, (Y/n)!” I gasped and smacked her arm. 
“You’re disrespecting your culture!” I shouted, as the car silently started and began to pull out into the street, heading towards the dress store. Tina just giggled and I huffed. 
“For that, I’m not giving you the applesauce I brought for you.” I tore open the packets, double fisting them and squeezing all their contents into my mouth. Tina howled with laughter 
“What are you, fucking two years old! I cannot believe you!” 
“You’re just jealous that you aren’t as stylish as me and now I’ve had a healthy breakfast which I assume you didn’t as you were at the station all night. I was going to be a good, kind, maid of honor and offer you sustenance but if you disrespect the birks, you disrespect me.” I joked, crossing my arms and looking out the windshield past her. 
“Oh my god my maid of honor is two years old!!” 
“Hey! That’s uncalled for, I’m not a toddler, if anything I’m like a seven year old, I make sense but just barely.” I joked. She laughed and nodded. 
“Still can’t buy booze.”
“That’s why there are other best people who are of age who can.” 
There was a natural pause in the conversation, the song changed and we both listened for a moment before Tina turned to me, a devilish grin on her face making me nervous. 
“What?”
“So, I noticed something strange at work last night.”
“Yeah, what did you notice?” I laughed.
“A certain someone kept texting on their phone and smiling AND Nines wasn’t giving them a hard time for being on their phone.” She smirked. “I thought the date went bad?”
“How do you even know it was me, future Detective Chen?”
“Well, I may have glanced over his shoulder at some point and saw your name.” I laughed.
“Tina! I was going to tell you. You didn’t have to spy on Gavin!” She laughed.
“It was the heat of the moment. I promise the next time I spy on him I won’t tell you.” I shoved her shoulder and we both laughed.
“Man, I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too.” The automatic car pulled into the bridal shop and we both squealed, jumping out of the car and practically running inside.
"I win." Tina said smugly as she crossed the threshold of the store before me. 
"Hey who's the kid now!"
Time went by fast in the shop, the consultants immediately brought us back to a sitting area, offering us complimentary champagne that we happily took. Our consultant, a happy-go-lucky android named Lance, brought out a selection of pantsuits for Tina to try, and offered excellent counsel on all of Tina's concerns. She wanted something elegant and more masculine. She tried a couple things before deciding pinstripe made her feel like a mobster and that white was definitely not her color. Lance was always smiling and laughing with them, not minding at all when they laughed at one of the options or didn't like what he had brought for her. He was very efficient in bringing options, and after three 'no's' he brought out a selection of black jackets and pants, assisting her in a pair of slim fit high waisted slacks with a center vertical pleat to help her look taller, a simple white dress shirt with a short popped collar, and a sleek black satin jacket, with a black lining. The fabric shone nicely in the light, a little bit of a sparkle in the thread. She looked gorgeous, and I could tell she felt it too, the way her eyes shone a bit, and her cheeks flushed, though she would probably blame that on the champagne if I brought it up later.
“You should try on some bridesmaids’ dresses. I’ve got my suit and now I want to judge others!”  Tina plopped down on the couch next to me and took my champagne from me.
"You haven't even decided on the style you want! Are you matching both bridal parties? Doesn't Valerie have a say in it then!" I squawked, reaching for the champagne flute she'd stolen from me. 
"We actually have talked about it, and we decided that as long as everyone has blush pink or yellow in their outfit, whatever style they want is best. It eliminates the drama and keeps our wedding day happy." Tina said, tipping her head back and downing my champagne in one big gulp. I smacked her arm. 
"Ah, I'd be happy to help you find a dress Miss. (L/N)." Lance offered, moving to sit next to me and offered out his hand, images of dresses popping up on his hand. 
"What are you thinking Miss (L/N)? Would you prefer the blush tone or yellow?" Lance asked, looking at my face instead of his hand. 
"Ah, blush please." I requested. 
"Not a problem, it's a popular color so we have a lot of options. Now, what style cut do you like?" I looked at him like a fish out of water. 
"I'm not sure, what do you think would look best, Lance?" He smiled, before pulling up a couple of images on his hand and explaining the styles and what design choices would flatter my features. I nodded, and he guided me back to the dressing room. 
"I'm going to run and grab some of the options we discussed Miss. (L/N)." He told me, before shutting the door. He knocked when he returned about five minutes later, hanging six dresses on the wall for me. "When you're ready, join us in the showing room, and we can adjust the fit and see what the bride thinks." He told me. I shouted 'Thanks!' through the door before turning to decide which dress I wanted to try first. 
 “Wow.” I murmured looking at myself in the mirror. From the tag on the dress I learned it’s a ‘long chiffon dress with halter neckline.’ I didn’t really understand what any of those words meant, but this dress was…amazing. It made me feel like a goddamn princess. 
“What’s taking so long!” I heard Tina shout.
“Give me a minute, you drunk!” I walked out of the dressing room, towards where Tina was sitting.
“Holy shit.” I laughed and spun around.
“It’s pretty good, right?” She got up and walked towards me.
“You’re getting this one. No question. I’m not letting you leave without it!”
“Are you sure? I can try a light-yellow dress if you want.”
“No, this one is perfect.” She smashed her cheek on mine and we both looked at ourselves in the mirror. I was smiling so wide my face was starting to hurt. She quickly grabbed her phone and snapped a picture of us, and I laughed.
“Tina!”
“What! I want to remember this moment.” She kissed my cheek. “I can’t wait to come back here with you when Gavin proposes.” She teased, causing you to laugh. 
“We’ve gone on one date! How much champagne have you had?” She shook her head.
“Just three glasses, I’m drunk on happiness! Come on, change back and buy that dress!” I laughed and walked back to the changing room. I picked up my phone and saw Tina had sent me the picture already. Smiling, I sent the picture to my dad.
 Got my dress for the wedding!
 Beautiful kiddo!
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keagan-ashleigh · 3 years
Text
Even though I am not mad at this ending and think some aspects of it were nice, there is still a few things that I actually think were... not good. I am going to talk about what I think was right then explain what I think was wrong (I defend them in my last post, that doesn't mean agree with everything they did).
Like I said in my other posts, I don't think the writers are ill intentioned but just sloppy, and a little bit clueless. Like, I don't think they actually sat down and said "ah ah lets get people mad 😈". We can't brush away the fact they have really been trying to do something right, it's easy to judge on a single episode but the show as a whole has been very progressive and meaningful in terms of representation, advocating for equality, and in terms of respecting the fandom and especially fanwork. They have been on our side all along, writers and cast, so, no, I don't think they actually meant to hurt their audience.
I am struggling to formulate my point, it'd be easier in my mother tongue, but I think we idealized their writing, so of course they can't meet our expectations in terms of quality. For starters, I have never thought Supernatural writers were excellent to begin with. They have done amazing things in terms of storytelling, but also, they did some really disappointing writing, it has been irregular in quality since a long time. So it's not a surprise that they don't meet expectations. But I sincerely hate the idea that they're accused of being willingly abject with the fans by disrespecting the characters, I am not excusing everything but I don't think they deserve such virulence.
They don't disrespect the characters, they've just never read them like the fans did. They failed to give them the perfect ending because they really did think this is the ending their characters needed. That doesn't mean they didn't give an ending that was decent it's just not the ending that meets the perception we have of the characters, it's the ending for the characters they wrote, not the ones we read.
We see characters that have been fighting for freedom and that fight against fate, we have seen their growth from a perspective the writers don't have. What the writers gave them is the end they where supposed to meet at the beginning. Dean deserves rest and to be at peace with himself, Sam deserves a normal life, they gave them that, 100%. It fits the characters they wrote, it gives them an end that ultimately suits them. There isn't an issue with that in itself - I know everyone in my timeline might disagree with that lol. Considering Dean has been fight his whole life, fighting for survival, fighting to please his father, fighting to fulfill Chuck's desires, in the end he just chose to not fight, to give up because for the first time in his life, it's okay, he can go, there is no battle he needs to fight anymore. Sam has been robbed from a life he wished for, a life he designed for himself that has been taken away because hunting called back to him, the writers gave him the ideal life he wanted, a wife, a kid, a house with a fence and he died of old age peacefully. I've seen people complain that it's back to square one because that was their initial destiny, but, in fact... this is ok. Castiel end his story by finding love, by standing for himself, and by sacrificing everything for the one person he loved the most. That is, in fact, in character. Their end was beautiful in itself.
Now the issue I have with that, is that the writers obviously lost grip on the meta aspect of their writing and failed to see their characters were going in a different direction than the one they wrote. They failed to see this wasn't their characters anymore, and failed to take into account our perspective. Which is ironic because they convinced Jensen that their ending was true to the audience's perspective. We've been reading into the fact Chuck was the writer loosing grasp on his story, that the story was handed to the fans because it belongs to them - I think it's right to read it like that, but I also think the writers are just clueless about that reading. We gave them much credit for this meta aspect but I don't actually think they were controlling it as much as think.
The issue I have with this ending, mostly, is what I think has always been their flaw, they struggle with construction and rythm, and struggle with making their point come across. They naively think they gave us treats, like the dog reference, the pie contestcontest, they integrated that sloppily to this episode.
I've seen people ask what the pie contest meant... It's an inside joke with the fandom. It's there to talk to us through the show, it's sloppy but the intention here is to say "here is a wink for the fandom that did such good job at imprinting the show in pop culture and had such fun turning the pie thing into an immortal meme, thank you, here's one last laugh for you" (I did laugh). I also think somehow to them it meant giving a return to normalcy to Dean, gave him a bit of naiveness back, to show that his heart was lighter due to the fact he solved his issues with self loathing, with baring all the responsibilities by himself, it shows him at peace. And that's one of the reason why I din't think they completely ignored his character development, they were bad at showing it though, because the rythm was bonkers. They didn't took the time to actually tell it, but Dean did solved his issues between ep 19 and ep 20. He DID found normalcy, peace of mind, self love, and relief, he didn't just found happiness in death, he welcomed death because he was happy with his life. And we see him go to heaven and be happy in heaven because he never thought he'd make it there. What the writers did wrong is that we read that Dean was at first seen as daddy's soldier and didn't want to go like this, he believed that was the end he deserved because he didn't think he worthed much. One perfect ending for Dean would have been to go, but older, not on his old man's unsolved case, and not so stupidly, after everything, being beaten by a rusty nail doesn't feel right, it feels rushed. But it's mundane, it's almost a normal way to go after all, there is no big epic fight, this is just life being a bitch, and for once it is not a celestial being or a undefeatable entity, it's just a plain normal boring nail. It means, this is a calm way to go, the stakes aren't high, it's like, the complete opposite if what he has had since series 1. I understand what the writers meant. This is giving Dean an ending that wasn't as stressful as all the others, for the first time it is not an apocalypse to stop, and so he looked at the situation and thought: "that's it, the world won't end if I go, I don't have any burden on my shoulders anymore, I can go". I doesn't work but I understand what they meant.
What they didn't realized also was the fact we have read the character as bisexual, that we consider him canonically bisexual, and that killing him sends a bad message. But they don't actually think he's bi, we believe they did but that is something that we have read, not something they actually wrote. So, yes they are really clueless about the message they sent here.
If they did, which I doubt, then Dean's happiness was with Castiel, and since he wasn't on earth, he could only go to heaven, hoping that Jack brought him back (which he did). But I doubt they did because if that was the case we would have had a reunion. I'll come to that later.
But first, Castiel. Castiel's arc ended with him finding the one thing that makes a human a human in this universe : love. The angelic sensebif love was devoid of actual feelings, either in a platonic way or romantically, the angels have been depicted as obedient, stone cold, practical. In Castiel's ending, all of that is gone. I think his end should have been different because he and we deserve more that yet another kill your gays, but it was in character for him to devote himself to love in a final act of irrational and deep care for humanity, for those he thinks about family and for this man he loves and lost his wings for.
As a final act of love for Dean and humanity, he shaped with Jack a heaven that gives people the freedom to choose they're own perfect heaven. He designed it perfectly so people in heaven have free will. He designed a heaven that was meant to give Dean a sense of completion and that gave him the happiness and freedom he deserved (noting that he was happy before he went there).
What they did wrong was not showing Jack bring him back, it was not actually telling how he designed heaven for humanity, because as far as I can see the point didn't came across. It was also not taking time to show that it is not heaven and death that gives dean happiness and relief, they should have said Dean was at peace before going there. And it was not reuniting them.
That was their biggest mistake in my opinion because we needed to see a response from Dean. I have read somewhere Jensen actually think the fact Dean didn't answer doesn't mean he doesn't feel the same. I think he did wanted to tell something, he did love him, no matter which way, he did love him, I saw it cristal clear because Jensen is actually a good actor and got that across not only in episode 18 but in the whole show. He wasn't always on board with the idea because he had his own perception of his character but he knows the audience saw something he didn't and eventually took that in account and you can actually see it in his acting. Maybe Misha convinced him, you know he on the other end has always been open to it. Anyway, Dean had stuff to say. I think the writer considered he already did, by calling Cas family, by saving him over and over, I can't be sure, but they apparently didn't think it was necessary to make him express what he had to express and that is why they make him say to Sam that the pain isn't gonna go away and that he can only move on.
But they needed to be together in the end. To counteract the kill your gays. We needed a end à la Song of Achilles, so the sacrifice they both did was actually worth it. Instead they reunited the brothers, again, unaware that they portrayed a toxic codependency all along, I absolutely don't think they ever saw their relationship like that. I think they thought it was emotional and cute, and beautiful. In a way it was, but in another way, we needed more for both if them than Sam waiting to die in order to ve with his brother again. They say "you can go now" as if the sole purpose of his life from that point was to die. They really were oblivious to the fact that makes Sam not actually living a live he actually enjoyed and got involved in, they may have make him laugh with his son and be a better father than his own ever was (I don't think he was teaching him to hunt, the tattoo just meant he's protected from possession) but the whole message is that "you've walked in this life by default, waiting to be able to join heaven, not because you chose to".
I don't think the writers have really thought through what they were actually saying because they didn't took enough time to show and tell what they actually meant. On one end they failed to grasp what they birthed prior to that, on the other hand they failed to make themselves clear about what they mean. We lose much of their intent because they don't master their rythm, and fail to check what is really coming across the screen.
I don't think they are disrespectful, I don't think they delivered a bad or inappropriate ending, and I don't think they were intentionally homophobic, I just think they didn't give us the most appropriate ending. In the end it still feels right to me because I understand what they did, the characters where in characters, and it was a beautiful goodbye to me, but I am not entirely happy with it because I think they missed the point because, precisely, they are too much in character. They shouldn't have given us in character, they should have given us change, evolution, growth, from what the characters have been until then, and they should have been more explicit, because the way we read them absolutely calls for that. By staying too close to what they think they wrote they couldn't possibly satisfy the audience.
Like as said in a previous post, they were also playing safe with destiel, and I think they made a mistake. But yet again, I wasn't even expecting the ship to be acknowledged at all, so to me what they did was unexpected and nice. A big lead character, not a secondary but a lead, from one of the most popular show in television is canonically gay, there's that! And actually, there isn't much big shows that can say as much. The actual norm is still very low despite more and more shows being inclusive, they actually did better than the norm. I know it's not enough, I mean, I too want representation, I am a bisexual woman, I know we need better, but sometimes we can just be grateful for the little steps people are taking. We may believe it's nothing but it is not, they've done something great, not ideal, but great. They have taken the step Sherlock wasn't willing to take, they took a step so little shows were willing to take. Accusing them of being intentionally homophobic is just plain disrespectful for the impact they've had on television considering representation in popular shows.
They just committed a mistake by staying true to Castiel's character and making him sacrifice and by not bringing him back. They had good intentions, but were clueless about the implications of what they did. They intended to be faithful to the characters they wrote, and missed to be faithful to the characters they actually created.
No it wasn't the ending that I think would have been great. But I don't think they completely failed to give a nice ending that really says goodbye and thank you. It just could have been better, it doesn't deserve all the backlash I'm witnessing here. It deserves criticism, and it deserves for some of its issues to be addressed, but also, some people need to take a huge chill pill because it wasn't the horror they believe it was. Destiel isn't canon, yet they still brought their characters to peace.
And, to finish, I've seen a post say it sent a bad message about depression too. I have depression, and let me tell you this year it is getting heavy on me because shit happens. Yes, it kinda can be read as "you only find happiness and peace in death", but like I said I don't think they go to heaven go find peace, I think they go to heaven feeling at peace and happy because they did solved their issues before that. I personally didn't read it in such a bad way, au contraire, I think they got the peace and healing they needed before dying, but the writers weren't clear about it. But yes, can be read like that and maybe they should have think twice about that too.
To conclude: yes it was flawed, no it wasn't great, but it wasn't that bad either. I feel fine about it because I get what they meant, and I am fine with writing my own end for them.
Also, let's not forget we're in the midst if a global pandemic, we have to be indulgent with the fact they couldn't do everything they wanted.
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macklives · 4 years
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hey so this is gonna be a long-ish one. ive decided its been far too long since i did a session, and we did so many i can often forget what happened. i started in july and im pretty sure its been more than half a year now since this whole blog happened. and in that time, we’ve gone through 88 sessions and i want to know if i remember the relevant plot points and what we got up to in the last few sessions. a refresh/reminder if you would.
so i hereby commence my own little recap of act 5 because yeah no, its too much to do a recap of everything and i have andrew for that after every few acts. but i wanna refresh my mind on act 5 for now. so here we go.
1. alternia.. fucked up place. but its a place the trolls live on so what are we gonna do about it? overthrow the government? seems about right, lets do that with the next troll that gets introduced and if its not kanaya idk what andrew is doing by not having introduced the best troll yet. why the long wait? it was the second introduced? i honestly expected it to go in order when i first read act 5, because first we had karkat talk to jade which was the first new piece dialogue in the comic besides the main kids, but then we had kanaya with rose, which was followed by tavros, then terezi (iirc). so id assume we were following that order but nope karkat got fully introduced, then this random fucking juggalo called gamzee made its way into the comic. imagine my surprise.
2. theres been terminology throughout act 5, that i do not fucking know and will not remember and probably never will. like tf is a perigee again? i made a doc somewhere ill probably find it.
3. karkat’s introduction... short but very sweet. and by sweet i mean we got to know the depths of the angry edge lord. and by depths i mean karkat got angry at gamzee for typing in a way that he didnt like so he yapped like a chihuahua. nah, but seriously, i do like karkat tho, hes growing on me but only bc hes a bitch baby and his whole personality makes me want to mock him so thats the reason im not that annoyed and think hes funny, and the most harmless troll. even more so than tavros. and thats saying something. 7.5/10 bc im generous.
4. then gamzee... the high juggalo troll who has the worst typing quirk imo, i cannot for the life of me read it. but hes chill, i actually really like gamzee. hes funny and the least problematic as of right now. 8.5/10.
5. terezi’s introduction next i think. she likes playing as a lawyer with her stuffed dragons, ie by roleplay, shes blind, can see through licking, and she likes eating chalk, maybe its even nutritious. shes good. 9/10. 
6. uhh in the process of these intros, there are teams being made? karkat joins gamzee and terezi in, i THINK, the red team?? bc terezi likes red?? could be wrong, i dont remember the teams except that its red/blue to represent sollux’s duality in those colors. terezi then tries recruiting AC but AC is like lol sorry i have to ask this friend of mine who has authority over me for some goddamn reason and terezi goes yuck tf i hate that guy................... yeah thats all we have on the teams. pretty sure sollux had smth to do with karkat about the making of the leaders, and they did the “i hate me” and the “no i hate me more than u hate u” or whatever the fuck that was. they got embarrassed afterwards and deleted their messages. im pretty sure they have no messages because everything ends up being mutually deleted so their logs are actually empty. ngl, kinda enjoyed their convos, made me appreciate their characters. i hope we get more because its good content. i also dont know what order this whole thing is in, who contacted who first? couldnt tell you. ill remember later on. and since im basing this off from memory alone, gotta deal with what i remember. uhhhh so yeah. we havent met all characters yet so the teams have not been officially decided but we got the bases, which is that.
7. god i found it, and the only thing im looking at right now is the terminology list i made and what the fuck?? what the fuck?? you miss a few weeks and suddenly the word nubslurping comes up and you forget what the fuck youre reading.
8. im PRETTY SURE aradia is seen after that whole team fiasco?? or its sollux... maybe. wait. its sollux, right. i just knew someone gets introduced mid way through is all. actually, someone gets introduced after every 20 pages. i have no idea. but ik aradia and sollux go hand in hand.
9. oh shit. OH SHIT! RIGHT! I REMEMBER! so this occurs in the latest session i did, and not the beginning of act 5, but AG and aradia team up, right?? and sollux fucking gets manipulated by them and ??? idk??? they make him find the game, reprogram it and then make him believe its going to end the world (which in hindsight is true, but anyways) so he refuses to play it which was AG’s plan all along so she steps up and becomes leader in his place. but aradia says sollux will still play the game no matter what, but she never went through with the plan for AG but it was apart of a prophecy? that sollux wouldnt be the leader at all? that he’d still play? but it had to go according to plan so it could succeed??? we just dont know why yet. anyways, point being, she still cares for sollux since she did it for him rather than for AG. and thats what i recall. god tf i forgot about that whole drama until writing down “sollux and aradia go hand in hand” which gave me violent flashbacks to the memory.
10. oh and id give aradia 9/10 and sollux 7/10. i do like sollux but if i put him higher than karkat, id get crucified. so im keeping them around the same.
11. man i really like sollux and aradia tho, i may have put him at 7, but i really like their dynamic and i really hope they make up and aradia explains herself about AG. because from one side it looks shitty. and while sollux is rude and never makes up his mind, he apologized to aradia after going off, and that was the only time ive seen him be sincere, so im pretty sure he cares for her to some extent. and i think its somewhat mutual? considering the whole “did it for him” thing. man, i see potential because i actually like both their characters. theyre well written. may not have the best personalities, but i appreciate well written characters and homestuck has the best ones ive seen in a while.
12. oh shit, hell yeah, the more i write, the more im connecting the dots and remembering. however, the more i write, the more i want to just make an analogy post but thats not for now. jesus christ its not all about analogies, mack, this is a recap. but.. how does andrew do it? to not go off track??? hard. telling ya.
13. anyways, didnt we break the fourth wall at some point and have the demon gods or whatever the fuck speak to us in third person for the first time in the comic, after having only gone into second person narrative, right after we were introduced to sollux and his “virus”? the uh, the phrase “the demon was already here” was said, or something along those lines. first line in homestuck to give me the creeps ngl and i appreciate it bc it gives me motivation to know what the fuck its about. its cool bc you have no idea where its going and it sure doesnt have anything to do with the current plot, since the trolls’ session/game doesnt have fucking demons so im curious as to what the fuck that was about. and if i really have to make a theory, i feel it has something to do with aradia’s voices in her head which also connect to the gods rose heard when she started disregarding rules and told dave to look at derse without listening to music bc it was as if he was purposely blocking away their calls. like holy shit, that gave me the shivers. while i do want to know more about wtf happens after act 4, trolls are taking priority right now. just like we did with the intermission. no discussing the kids unless necessary. treat this as its own separate comic. and THEN we can connect.
14. ANYWAYS, tavros’ intro???? that comes afterwards?? with the fiduspawn that made me gag a little on the inside? yep. remember that. fuck that lol. -1/10 but tavros himself is MAYBE a 6/10? i wish we explored his character more in his intro bc right now he just looks like a character made only to be a victim rather than have any depth and i feel thats robbing someone of their full potential. give me more personality andrew, rather than a quivering boy who falls prey to bitches. im expecting more throughout the comic honestly and i hope he gets growth so hes not looked as a “victim” but rather his own character. he is still sweet, and i like him because i want to protect him, but id rather have more info, you know what i mean?
15. oh hell. kanaya had a chainsaw at some point. that made me happy. and didnt she cut off tavros’ legs?? and he got robot ones? and some creepy dude was looking and we called him saggy tits bc hes sagittarius? right? neat. that did happen. pretty sure saggy tits is ACs friend that tells her what to do. the more u know. OH and they all have colored blood similar to their text colors lol. that i remember... so tavros has brown, terezi has blueish green, um. karkat has grey the loser. and apparently it forms a rainbow which is nice. rainbow is good.
16. i dont remember anything else actually
17. wait no i do. AG appeared. shes a petty bully. idk what to say about her. we didnt get that much, except that she hates tavros but is okay with aradia. she also looks like a bottle opener. actually, i think she teamed with aradia to gain leadership rather than to “be friends”. and while that is similar to how karkat did it, meaning the gain, the motivation and how they earned it is entirely different. kinda seeing a trend tho. the leaders of the red/blue teams are both characters who wanted the role, but never had it to begin with. only to win their way into the position. but rather than ask non-stop like karkat did, AG manipulated others so she could be successful. not too sure if she also used aradia for that, or is actually motivated to become friends since they were “past enemies” and she needed a rebound. pretty sure its somewhat both. while AG did mostly use aradia to speak with sollux, what she doesnt know is that aradia is a bad bitch who never even thought about AG and only followed through with the plan bc she had a plan of her own. i guess we’ll look into that later. i lowkey want to know their history.
18. OH AC!!! she appeared for a second as well. love her. shes amazing. 9.5/10. and you may ask yourself, why am i saying “i love this character” but none of them are 10/10?? weellllll its because, and i cant stress this enough, 10/10 belongs to kanaya, i dont make the rules. im waiting for her introduction, shes my favorite and its obvious. sorry.
19. oh huh seems i forgot about the term “lusus”. which.. is.. their parents but not really, its these fucking weird ass creatures that the trolls fought in a cave or something as a child. i dont fucking know. terezi hatched hers and it died? gamzee’s also died but his goat sea dad was never really there to begin with so while it is sad, its more sad that gamzee never saw him? um.. karkat killed his own by exploding his computer bc sollux said dont run the virus and karkat said u cant tell me what to do and did it anyways. so thats on him. but apparently theyre supposed to die, to become prototyped during the game, right? yeah. i remember now.
20. thats.. about it? idk anything else, nothing is coming back to me apart from the shit above. huh.... im surprised how quickly things do come back to you the moment you rant about the plot tho.... handy trick.
cool. neat. fun. this took me too long. but im glad i remember a little bit.
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starbuck · 4 years
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Terror Notes: “Go For Broke”
well… I guess I’m really doing this! Some proper, bullet-pointed notes for each episode of The Terror, starting with ep 1: Go For Broke!
I wrote these out last night (and edited them this morning to make them readable - you’re welcome!) so I hope that y’all enjoy my thoughts and assorted nonsense! I tried to save my comments for points I actually wanted to make because I feel like they bring something to the table but I still ended up writing A Lot lol
I love that Crozier couldn’t even be bothered to be present in welcoming Sir John and Fitzjames onto Terror, making Little and Hodgson do it by themselves. One could argue that he had important captain-y things to be doing at that time or something but I’m not 100% sure that wasn’t the case. 
idk if it’s just the angle, but I paused the episode just as the shot of the officer’s mess is coming in from above and Hodgson’s hands make me so uncomfortable. They look so bone-y and weird. (Just what you came here for, I know. Hand commentary.)
Cannot tell you how uncomfortable it is, after many rewatches, to listen to Fitzjames recounting in a casual, lighthearted manner 1) shooting people 2) people catching fire (and burning to death), and 3) their burning flesh smelling “like roast duck” (so, like something edible) and it’s even more uncomfortable to have the closeup be on Hodgson’s face as he laughs at the ‘roast duck’ comparison.
On a lighter note: I love that Fitzjames felt the need to remind everyone what size cherries are by illustrating it with his fingers. In case they forgot, I guess? As someone who occasionally speaks unnecessarily with my hands, big mood tbh.
I LOVE it when Fitzjames gives Little that affirmative tap on the arm after he compares Fitzjames’s injury to Lord Nelson’s. My friend Eli and I refer to it as The Fitzjames Arm Tap. I would like a Fitzjames Arm Tap, pretty please.
God, Sir John loudly setting his hands on the table to try to dispel the tension from the ‘birdshit island’ debacle as he attempts to change the subject is so funny. I’m gonna stop just pointing out things I find funny soon, I swear, but I just cannot handle this scene.
Between Hodgson looking horrifically embarrassed by Crozier’s outburst at Fitzjames and Little looking nervous when Crozier shoots him a look as Sir John says that there’s no reason to be concerned about the ice, it really does seem that they were having to ‘manage’ him even back in ep 1 when his alcoholism wasn’t completely out of hand.
Personal sidenote about this: My Pop-pop is often rude to workers in stores and restaurants (he doesn’t drink thank goodness but he has Alzheimer’s coming on which has worsened his temper) so I very much understand the feeling of being on-edge that an outburst is going to occur and trying to deal with the fallout when it does. Just going by my own experience, I can imagine Little apologizing to Fitzjames for Crozier’s rudeness as soon as they were out of Crozier’s earshot (not that anything Little could say would heal the deep psychological wound that Crozier created but hey, it’s something).
The way that Sir John brushes aside Dr. MacDonald’s and Crozier’s concerns about moving Young when he’s in such bad shape never fails to upset me but also ~foreshadowing for hauling the ill on boats oooohhh~
I said I was done pointing out random things that amuse me but the speed and agility with which Des Voeux pops out of the hatch and onto the deck after Orren falls into the water is just so funny. I could watch that two second clip on repeat all day. Might gif it so I actually can.
Is this a good time to point out that there’s also a scene in Moby-Dick where someone falls from high up on a mast and drowns? It’s in a chapter all about bad omens experienced by the crew of the Pequod and The Terror definitely has some similar vibes going on with the sun dogs displayed in the establishing shot of Erebus in that scene and David Young, a “warning of things to come,” on his way over.
The second(?) time I watched the part where Young tells Stanley that he didn’t think anything of getting headaches since he’s always gotten them, I had this thought pass through my head that was like “oh god, I had chronic migraines for years so I’d never have known if I had lead poisoning either!” but then I realized that this probably was not a relevant concern I should have.
Not sure I have any deep commentary on this but as Gore informs Sir John and Fitzjames about the blocked propeller, he’s standing in the same spot, in the same room as Goodsir will stand next episode to tell them about his death.
Also regarding this scene, I love how Gore waits for Fitzjames to give him the go-ahead to leave before actually going. I know that Fitzjames is his superior officer too but, since Sir John already dismissed him, it seems like waiting for Fitzjames’s approval isn’t really necessary, yet a nice thing to do. Perhaps this is a legitimate formality, but something similar happens later in this episode in the command meeting when Crozier asks Gore how many sun dogs he’s seen; he looks to Fitzjames and waits for his nod before answering Crozier. He doesn’t look to Sir John, he looks to Fitzjames. I know that we know essentially nothing about Gore but like.. underrated ship???? Just saying…
Ten nights ago, I was unable to get to sleep for at least an hour because I started thinking about David Young’s saying “I want to go to my grave as I am” and, of course, that ultimately doesn’t happen for him but also, this, like all things about him, is a “warning of things to come.” I’m pretty sure that no one else was properly buried until, arguably, Fitzjames and ironically, that was explicitly not what he wanted done with his body (and, since his grave was later looted by Hickey, similar to the way that Young’s autopsy ultimately achieved nothing, it didn’t really matter anyway).
I know that this happened exactly ten days ago because I forced myself to wake up and write it down in my notes app, lest I forget, which only prolonged my sleeplessness. I suffer for my analysis. 
Ah yesssss Tozer’s lesbian haircut. We love it! Why does my hair not look like that when I take a hat off? I’d like to file a complaint.
Was just thinking the other day about how Hartnell being the one to notice that there was something up with the ice in ep 1 is followed up on with Blanky complimenting Hartnell’s ability to read the ice to Crozier in ep 7. I wonder if Blanky ever gave him like. ice-reading lessons after becoming aware of his interest and natural talent at it in ep 1? That makes me happy to think about.
The two people who we’re shown awoken by Young’s screaming are Sgt. Bryant and Morfin and like. Do I even have to explain why that’s an Oof?
The way that Goodsir hesitates before knocking on Stanley’s door and Stanley irritatedly closing his book before answering the knock in an exasperated voice would be comedic in any other context. If I’m being honest, it still makes me laugh. As does Stanley’s “As if that weren’t plain.”
I’ve pointed this out before but mmmmm... that shot of Stanley in profile with the open candle flame in the background… the foreshadowing in this ep is thicker than the smoke at… Oh alright, I’ll stop. 
God, the autopsy/dive scene…. Collins being lowered down and entering the water paralleled with Goodsir’s initial cutting into Young’s corpse, the breaking up of the ice paralleled with the cutting of the bone-saw. But most significant to me is the parallel of what is seen/not seen and the long-term effect that this has. Collins sees Orren’s corpse (and then presumably never tells anyone about it), reinforcing his guilt over Orren’s death, the beginning of his mental health decline. Goodsir doesn’t see the cause of Young’s death in his autopsy and this not knowing about the lead poisoning until it’s too late to do anything about it is the cause of many of Goodsir’s later problems as well. And, to finish it all off, both the autopsy and Collins’ dive were ultimately for nothing (considering a spinning propeller is useless when your ships are frozen in). 
Crozier and Blanky’s simultaneous face journeys as Sir John rambles on about how there’s nothing to worry about and they’ll find the passage any day now are truly legendary.
I wrote some pretty extensive tags on this already but man… Crozier’s comment about how not all of Sir John’s men returned from one of his previous arctic expeditions is just so nasty and awful. Like, yes, Sir John is wrong to undersell the danger they’re in and Crozier is advocating for the correct position here, but that was completely uncalled for and horrible to say, particularly in a command meeting, in front of so many people. And Sir John looks legitimately upset by it too. He gets over it quickly, at least on the outside, but I still feel really bad for him (and I NEVER feel bad for Sir John so this is weird for me).
“But of course we will not be abandoning Erebus, or Terror…” Let’s check back in six episodes and see how that’s going! 
Crozier slamming his fist on the table to prove he’s not being melodramatic reminds me of this one post (that I sadly can’t find rn) about Jesus Christ Superstar that’s like “‘CUT OUT THE DRAMATICS’ Judas hollered dramatically.” It’s such an Overall Mood.
I don’t have a developed commentary on this at the moment but it’s an interesting reverse-parallel that Sir John had no concern for Young’s well-being when he was alive, ignoring Crozier’s concerns about moving him from ship-to-ship when he was in such poor health, yet now that he’s dead, Sir John is the one to recommend that Young be buried which Crozier is surprised by, and seems to feel is unnecessary.
There’s been so much amazing commentary already made about Young’s burial scene so I’ll skip it except to say that Hickey’s irritated sigh when he hears footsteps coming towards the grave is SO funny. That’s exactly how I feel when I know that someone is about to tell me something that will annoy me.
Goodsir was really getting into the emotion of Sir John’s “eulogy”/motivational speech before he remembered the promise he made about Young’s ring. Also, what triggered his memory was Sir John saying “We shall earn our loved one’s cheers and embraces,” so no doubt a reminder of the traumatic “Your loved ones will be there in Heaven to welcome you! :)” “I never knew my mother or father” exchange (or maybe just a reminder of the fact that he was supposed to get Young’s ring to his sister but just let me scrape a little humor out of this. God knows I need it).
The shot of Bryant praying in his hammock the night before they get completely frozen-in is honestly deeply upsetting to me. Especially considering he’s a marine so he Did Not Ask To Be Here, yet there he’ll die.
According to Melville, ship’s compasses occasionally spun round-and-round when a ship was caught in a severe storm and this was an incredibly upsetting thing to behold because of how disorienting it was. So, considering that, Fitzjames keeps his composure pretty well but he clearly has some reservations about how things are going and Sir John has no comforting-sounding remark about ‘Magnetic North’ to offer him now.
The bit where Sir John “sees” Crozier, on Terror, turn away from him with a half-smirk on his face is interesting because there’s no way he could have possibly seen Crozier’s expression at that distance and I’m doubtful that he’d even have been able to make out the identity of anyone he might have been able to see on Terror’s deck. So really, it speaks mostly to Sir John’s mental state; his seeing their getting frozen in as a loss against Crozier and imagining that Crozier would see it as a victory for himself.
Ugh the final shot is making me think about @catilinas’s post comparing a shot of the two ships stuck in to the shot of the ink drops from ep 3 and I am LOSING IT but I was losing it anyway because it’s 2AM now and my entire body feels like gelatin. 
THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT! 
SEE YOU NEXT TIME!
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kayyeffsee-blog · 5 years
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Bangtan fics that I’ve read and liked (will get updated)
uhh, so the thing is that a lot of jikook fics will be in here, as it is my otp. But I have  also put in many others. Thank you!!! (this goes in descending order, so newer ones will come on top, and i still have a lot of older fics, they’ll come at the bottom) (all fic titles in italics are my ult favs and all ships in bold have their plot and are not just implied)
On Patrol  and  On Patrol - Season 2 : jikook, yoonseok, namjin, police au, LOVE this series, check it out!
summary: Officer Jeon has his eyes on Mr. Adorable.Officer Min has a strange neighbor he can't seem to keep out of his life.Captain Kim finds comfort in his son's homeroom teacher. Well, cops need some loving too, right?
A Gilded World : i cannot believe this fic aint down there, yoonjin, must read, chaebol au (i love them), ULT FAV, kdrama au, with vmin who has a tiny storyline too, and side namseok, rated E, 169k words, bros jinkook, READ IT, the fic that got me interested in yoonjin.
summary: Jeon Seokjin has exactly four weeks to stop the impending engagement of his younger brother, doomed to a loveless marriage. The only way to stop it is to make a better match, more advantageous, more lucrative for the Jeon family. It's impossible. It's his only option.Min Yoongi does not want, will never want, will never ever even consider, marriage. It's not in the cards. He's stubborn enough to achieve the total ban on marriage talks. Except maybe his grandmother is a little more stubborn than he is, and maybe she's determined to see him march down the aisle.The chaebol arranged marriage au that exactly one and a half people asked for.
baby, love me hard and hold me tight : jikook, ceo kook, tsundere-yet-not-so-tsundere min, lots of smut, dancer jimin. summary’s too long.
all the light we cannot see : yoonkook, spaceship au, tsundere yoongi, wow i read a lot of those, rated E, 109k words.
summary (part of it):  (when jeongguk finally gets his chance to sail the cosmos, it’s onboard the ship of an aggravating man named min yoongi. he thinks it’ll be extraordinarily dull—but the universe, and the legend of treasure planet, have other plans.)
note: another not so common yet not completely rare pair, i honestly love this fic so much.
nobody's like you  : jikook, college au, pissed jimin,dense kook, a cute fic, rated T, 20k words. 
summary: if you have a crush but you don't know you have a crush, is it really a crush? and other great philosophical debates with jeon jeongguk.
or, jeongguk kinda fucks up and jimin can only take so much.
흰 여름 ('White Summer') : yoonmin, non-au, lil angst, rated T, 24k words. 
summary: “Diversity,” Namjoon had said when he had explained the concept to them. “Learning to love yourself, no matter what.” “We already did that,” Yoongi had pointed out. “Literally the same title.” But Namjoon, when he looked at him, had seemed strangely bright and somber at the same time. “Not like this,” he had said.Or, Jimin and Yoongi have to kiss for an MV. And deal with the fallout.
7 Minutes in Heaven : yoonmin, highschool au, fluff, mutual pining, rated T, 8.4k words, too long a summary.
♛ Chrysoprase ♛ : vmin, abo but with a twist, aristocracy au, ongoing, a piece written beautifully, rated E, 39k words, rich tae and poor min.
summary (partial):  Taehyung is a rich boy who gets captivated by a trapeze act from an unknown Omega at a theater show sending him on a ride of emotions--and ruts. 
   Mono No Aware : jikook, rated E, 104k words, divorce au, model agency au, summary’s too long.
Cotton Candy  : highschool au, yoonmin, highscool band au, another GREAT fic, set in the 90s, 240k words, rated E.
summary (partial):  As spring turns into summer, school band Cotton Candy unexpectedly loses its singer and the members are forced to look for a new vocalist. Six boys find one in the form of the promiscuous pink haired boy Park Jimin who makes a home in their hearts and finally finds a place he belongs.
Beta Tau Sigma : come FIGHT me, but this IS a classic, frat au, i scrolled through this long ass post twice, i cant believe its not down there, namjin, you need an ao3 acc to read this, anyways i suggest you to make one, crack, 123k words, rated M, shenanigans, side yoonmin with a tiny storyline, FAV. 
Before This Christmas : taegi, non au, amnesia, a great fic, rated T, 8k words, summary’s too long.
black versus blue : taekook, soulmate au, a LOT of angst, i LOVE this fic, hurt/comfort, dr tae, side yoonmin and namjin, rated E, 41k words.
summary: Taehyung had always dreaded meeting his soulmate, unlike the rest of the world’s population. He always hid the words scrawled in black cursive on the inside of his right wrist and felt terror at the thought of them turning blue, of his soulmate speaking them.
And as he sprinted down the packed Seoul sidewalk, hot tears streaming down his cheeks and sobs choking his throat, he knew he'd been right.
Or was he?
sick boy : vmin, LOTS of homophobia, fluff and angst, dystopian korea, its a really good fic, rated M, 8k words, side namkook and yoonseok.
summary: Jimin has always lived in a society where pride was held higher than anything else. His kind nature is unwelcome, and he spends most of his life alone.
Taehyung is the boy who dyes his hair every week, is too eccentric for his own good and is, most importantly, not like the rest of the town that they live in.
Look out the window, do you see love? : jikook, I LOVE THIS, kidnapping au, ceo kook, college student min, tsundere kook, heavy smut and drama, rated E, 100k words, summary too long.
a blessed touch, skin deep : yoonjin, slightly platonic, oneshot, fluff, massage au, but not the smutty kind, rated G, 3k words.
summary: Hoseok recommends his favorite masseur to Yoongi.
Yoonjin Massage AU, with side Hoseok/Jimin and Taehyung/Jungkook
the heart of a siren : jikook, pirates au, angst, enemies to lovers,rated E, 92k words.
summary:  Beware of what you take from the sea. She is not a treasure to be plundered, but a dark, vast void that will swallow you up and think nothing of it.
The Collabofornication : yoonmin, idol au, rapper au, lots of smut, 32k words, enemies to lovers, rated E, 32k words, summary’s too long, really good.
teeter totter : jihope, such a cute fic, 5+1, i love this one, neighbours au, 5k words, rated T.
summary:  five times jimin accidentally stumbles into his neighbour and the one time it’s very much on purpose.
Take Care : a short jikook, accident au, angst and fluff, rated G, 2k words, college au.
summary:  Roommates Jungkook and Jimin are in the midst of a friendship rift until an accident brings them together again.
Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo : yoonmin, rated T, royal au, 34k words, cute, i really like this twist on classics kinda thing.
summary: Everyone (including Taehyung, Jimin's best friend) could only talk about the ball the royal family was going to give in honor of the princes. Every single one was thinking and worrying about which clothes they should wear and how to impress the two, very single, princes. Jimin? He could only think about the new regular, who had a sweet tooth and the cutest smile he had ever seen.
The Universe Has Moved For Us, Without Missing A Single Thing : minjoon, such a feel good fic, tsundere min, canon, with a bit of yoonjin, so good, rated M, 14k words.
summary: Jimin is tasked to create his next comeback with his least favourite producer at BIGHIT, RM.
He is petty and bitter from day one.
Or, is he just really bad at feelings?
yesteryear's charms : jikook, hp au, a lot of fun, enemies to lovers (if you dont know, im a sucker for this particular trope), rated M, 18k words.
summary: After losing a bet, Jimin has to perform the Jingle Bell Rock routine from the iconic Muggle film, Mean Girls, at Hogwarts' annual talent show, dressed in red pleather and black knee-high boots. He receives a bigger reaction from certain people (read: ult rival Jeon Jeongguk) than expected.
a dose of salt : jikook, I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS FIC, with a lot of taejin, doctors au, enemies to lovers, pls check it, its great, rated E, 145k words, ongoing, almost finished.
summary: Park Jimin is a renown cardiothoracic surgeon—a genius, a medical prodigy, the best surgeon at the hospital. He’s kind, friendly, handsome, and patient. He’s also the son of the hospital’s Chairman. But nobody needs to know that since he’s worked for and earned everything he’s accomplished on his own without the help of nepotism.Everyone loves him. 
Everyone but Jeon Jungkook, the hot new military trauma surgeon straight out of the army. The decorated veteran is brilliant and quick witted, but has a hot temper and absolutely zero tolerance for bullshit.
When Park Jimin makes a bad first impression on him, things get extremely salty between the two very different personalities.
playing with fire : vmin, ONE OF MY ULT FAVS, rated T, 30k words, college au, drama actor v, dancer min, enemies to lovers, SO GOOD, laser tag.
summary:  Despite never seeing eye to eye on things, Taehyung and Jimin find that they have more in common than expected through a game of laser tag, a play and a dance competition.
At 4 O'clock, I'll Stay : vmin, footballer (soccer) v, bar owner min, enemies to lovers, a good fic, grumpy min, rated E, 35.8k words.
summary (part of it):  the one where Taehyung goes to Jimin's bar to talk bad about his latest soccer matches and Jimin waters down his drinks by "accident."
Happy Ending : namseok, implied OT7, massage au, rated M, smut, 2.3k words.
Rose Quartz and Pink Opal : such a good fic, i love this, if its down there im sorry just tell me in the comments, jikook, rated T, 21.4k words.
summary:  “Everyone is born with either 1 or 2 small powers. If 1, then your soulmate has the other. They will swap the first time you see each other, and you will obtain both when you fall in love. If born with 2, you have no soulmate.”
tell me how to make this better : hurt/comfort, angst, vmin, non au, such a good fic, go check it, summary’s too long, rated T, 44.6k words.
loverboy : vminkook, a masterpiece, manipulation, assasin au, powers au, rated M, 9.7k words.
summary:  this much jimin’s figured out: sometimes, somehow, his words make people fall in love with him.
Never Judge a Book by its Cover : jikook, rated M, library au, 25k words
summary: Thanks to Jungkook's idiot best friend, he drowned the books he borrowed from the library. Now, he has to work there to work off his debt. He doesn't really like the job but that one boy that always has his nose burried in his books makes his days much better.Or in which Jungkook meets bookworm Jimin and falls harder than he thought he would.
note: squeelll, I love this fic!
we've got chemistree : jikook, rated T, 19k words, fake dating au. (can’t put summary bc its too long)
note: I love love love it. do check it out.
The Pink Envelope : yoonmin, no ratings, 12k words, highschool au.
summary: to a prompt I received on tumblr "Oh shit, sorry I got the wrong locker" When Jimin is sending love letters to his crush via locker but fails because it is Yoongi's locker.au where 6 of them are highschool students (Jin has already graduated)... and Jungkook is also in highschool with the rest of them (please don't ask me why I just want him to be there hahahaha)
note: cute and fluffy.
Him : jikook, rated M, 35k words, college au, dancer!jimin au.
summary: 'And like the dawn, you woke the world inside of me You were the brightest shade of sun when I saw you' or “I mean a muse,” explained Yoongi, eyes traveling to Hoseok. “Someone that makes you feelthe shots. Not only take them.”Jeongguk snorted. “You’re just whipped.”“Maybe,” agreed Yoongi, winking. “But it works.”
note: touched my feels, lovely.
Nu ABO: A Memoir by Park Jimin : jikook, rated E, 34k words, non au, a/b/o au.
summary:  The world didn't think it was necessary to give him a guide when it shoved all of these omega hormones at him, so here it is, Park Jimin's handbook on dealing with heats, unrequited love, and Jeon Jungkook.
note: amazing! Omega jimin dont wanna be an omega, and tries really hard to be an alpha. easily one of my faves.
Blackjack : yoonseok, vmin, namjin, chat fic, game fic, slightly creepy but light hearted, happy ending, not your ordinary chat fic, LOVE this, puzzles, mystery, rated T, 78k words, summary too long.
Fake Sugar : jinkook, rated E, non-tropey sugar daddy au, competitive eater jin, rich jungkook, fake sugar daddy, 87k words.
summary: im sorry, its too long. but ill put part of it.
(Hedge Fund wunderkind and Certified Awkward Gay Jungkook needs a sugar baby to show off at work, and Professional Competitive Eater and Objectively Beautiful Human Jin just wants to stop working shitty side-jobs. Fake Sugar Daddy AU. A trope and a half.)
note: a rare pair fic. (that rhymes, lol) i love the author, i have read all of his fics, i think. 
Worldwide Lonesome : yoonjin, rated E, 39k words, non au.
summary:  After the BBMA, Yoongi starts bringing guys back to the house.
note: i honestly love this ship and fic, it talks a lot about how closeted jin is and this fic has a great characterization for jin.
 Pause, Rewind, Play: jikook, non au, rated G, 3k words.
summary:  Jimin doesn’t know why it starts. Maybe it’s the eightieth post he’s seen today about him being rejected by Jungkook. But whatever the reason, Jimin starts to not care anymore.
note: loovve it, short and really good.
The Boy in the Music Box : yoonmin, mystical au i guess?, college au, rated T, 52k words.
summary: Yoongi doesn’t really expect anything special when he finds an old music box in his grandmother’s attic and she tells him to keep it. Oh sure, he expects the music box to be a pretty decoration to add to the stale interior of his small apartment. He expects it to play a tune and he might even dare to expect the barely-functioning little ballerina to dance along to the soft chimes, but that's it, really.The last thing he expects is for the little ballerina to take human form at night and throw his life out of balance with radiant smiles, soft giggles, and a heart-wrenching story.
note: another author i absolutely love, this fic is amazing. its one of the only fluffy ones that has made me weep! do check it out
pick me up, buttercup : taekook, soulmate au, crack au, 9k words, rated G.
summary: AU where your soulmate's first words to you will be tattooed on your wrist when you meet. Which freakin sucks, because Jungkook's forearm will now forever read "Hey baby, if you were a booger, I'd pick you first."What the fuck, universe.
note: a very light fic, i love it so much. its really really good.
Cherry Tree : yoonmin, hanahaki au, angsty, rated T, 10k words.
summary: Yoongi always thought that Jimin looked like a cherry blossom, like Spring had manifested itself in the form of a human.Now he knows for sure.
note: really good, not a tragic ending i swear.
good game, well played : vmin, library au, college au, rated G, 23k words.
summary:  AN EXCERPT FROM PARK JIMIN'S PLANNER (ft. Jeon Jeongguk) -grammar reading :( -get pasta -buy the nice guy from the library ❤MY BIG GAY CRUSH❤ coffee
note: super good, college aus are one of my favs.
fairy brat : yoonmin, 3k words, rated T, supernatural au.
sumary: “I don’t know if you know but,” Namjoon says, “Hoseok’s roommate is a little… difficult. Yoongi hyung is a good guy, though, I promise.”“Anyone who lives with Hoseok hyung can’t be that bad,” Jimin says.Jimin could not be more wrong.
note: tsundere yoongi, really good!
The Perfect Japchae : yoonjin, 19k words, rated T, neighbours/college au.
summary:  In the eight months he’d lived here, neither of them had done more than nod in greeting when they passed in the hallway. Most of the time he just ignored Kim Seokjin and went about his own business while inwardly seething. A little voice deep down questioned why, exactly, he was so pissed all the time whenever he thought about his neighbour… but Min Yoongi really didn’t have an answer.
note: i love this pairing, such a good fic!!!
aye, love (you led me to a miracle) : yoonjin, rated T, 6k words, Cafe AU, tsundere yoongi.
summary: It’s six in the morning and all Yoongi wants is some fucking coffee.(Not to be, not to be assaulted with a possibly illegal stare and a smile that could probably bring dead flowers back to life, god dammit)
note: such an amount of fluff, i love it.
I need you boy (you're beautiful) : jikook, chat fic, rated T, 18k words.
summary: (part of it)
t h e d e s t r o y e r: jimin who is ur future husband
ChimChimz: ok so like
ChimChimz: here’s the thingy
00ngi: omfg you don't even know who he is
ChimChimz: uM
note: love it, really good.
to be with you : jikook, rated T, non au, 4k words.
summary: 5 times jungkook tries (and fails) to confess to jimin and the 1 time he succeeds.
note: really cute fic, but i think ill not put notes on all fics now, im getting fed up
A Wish Your Heart Makes : kook/everyone, polyyy, smut, another venturing into newer waters fic, rated E, 16.6k words.
summary: "This can't be the right translation," Taehyung says, before Jungkook can do something crazy like just ask to suck Jimin's dick. Taehyung has his phone out, and is frowning as he taps the screen. "But I looked it up on Naver, and there might be something called sex pollen? Sex pollen? Like, plants?"
gladly beyond : jikook, 21k words, rated M, enemies to lovers fic, sports fic.
summary: too long, but jimin sees the tattoo of his “enemy” at a strip club.
note: another trope i love :)
Riptide : jikook, i actually visited this 10 times?!?, rated M, non au, 62k words, rated M.
summary (part of it):  A three year story [2013-2016] of coming together, breaking apart, and putting each other back together again. Jeon Jungkook learns about change, growing up, and the hardships of falling in love with a friend.
note: really love it
Hey, Baby, I've Got My Ion You : jikook, chem au, bad puns, rated T, 4k words.
summary: 
everyone: fvck the maknae jimin: i'm trying - (aka: chem au where jeongguk jumps two grades and becomes jimin’s lab partner and maybe a little more than that.)
note: copper tellurium (loll)
honest you do : jikook, idol au, reality show au, 26k words, rated T.
summary: “Do you think you’ll be a good husband?” Jimin smiles. “I’ll really, really try.” 
Korea's darling, Park Jimin, gets married.
note: a great fic, honestly.
In the Line of Fire : jikook, are you even here?, if so ty, frat au, 11k words, rated E.
summary:  For some reason, Jimin was everyone's favorite target.
A truth universally aknowledged : yoonmin, college au, rated T, 6k words.
summary: "It is a truth universally aknowledged that Park Jimin has the most wanted ass out of the whole college."AKA 5 times that Jimin gets asked out and Min Yoongi butts in + 1 time where the tables are turned.
Unrequited : yoonjin, taejin, hanahaki au, rated T, 3k words, not a happy ending.
summary: The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs of flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals. It can be cured without side effects only when the feelings are returned. 
Seokjin starts coughing up crimson-red rose petals.
pulling shapes just for your eyes : taekook, reality show au, rated E, really good (i cant be bothered to make a note lol), 110k words, a lot of sex.
summary: The number one rule when you're a producer on a show like Miss Right, Taehyung thinks, should be do not fall for the bachelor. It's such a shame Taehyung has never been good at following rules.
ringa linga : fluff, yoonmin, one-shot, best man au, rated G, 3k words, crack.
summary: Best man Yoongi needs to pick up the rings for his best friends' wedding. The problem? The clerk won't hand them over.
Enter lifesaver and fake-fiancé, Jimin.
note: light-hearted, really fun.
Heart of War : namjin, 173k words, royalty au, really frickin good, ongoing, rated M.
summary: For the protection of his people, Prince Seokjin has to marry his fiancé’s killer: the alpha king of the most ruthless and feared kingdom in all the lands with a reputation of being a cold blooded monster on the battlefield.
Worst of all, the omega prince doesn't even speak their language.
my heart flutters from the sugar high : taegi, I LOVE THIS FIC IT’S SO GOOOD, <cough> 5.9k words, rated M, canon compliant, crack, every so slighty tropey, just a teeennyy bit, fake dating au.
summary:  Yoongi and Taehyung sneak around together, cheating on their diets. The group? They've drawn different conclusions.
Seeking Alpha : jikook, I love this author, 17k words, rated M, a/b/o fic, but not the wolfy (lol) kind, i guess you could say ‘in a modern setting’, cracky.
summary:  It was meant to be a “fuck you” to the dating world as Jimin knew it. He was done with dating, fed up with alphas, so he put a message out to the world to say so. How could he have guessed the sweetest alpha ever would respond to it just to prove him wrong?
The Jeon Pack : jikook, a/b/o dynamics, THE BEST abo fic you’ll ever read, 70k words, rated E, the wolfy kind (heh)
summary: Jungkook's pack had survived centuries in the cold unforgiving forest. They followed strict traditions and laws to ensure their survival against nature and rival packs. Soon the responsibility of leading the pack would fall on his shoulders but before assuming the position of head alpha, he needed to choose an omega mate.
The problem was that Jungkook was in love with an omega that hated his guts.
浮世 U K I Y O : yoonmin, i’m pretty sure you’ve read house of cards and songbird and the sea??, this one goes in the same category, a breed of those two classics, Mafia au, rated E, almost complete, 366.9k words, oh and btw if you haven’t the above two ill link them right below.
summary: “Is that what they say about me? I'm stuff of nightmares?” “You own a city and you painted it with your colors,” Jimin says, his voice is quiet and his scent subdued. “Why wouldn't people have nightmares about you? You are scary.” “Are you scared of me?”Yoongi owns a city that he painted red until a man that doesn't seem to truly exist steals something from him. And all the strings lead to Jimin, a succubus who works in one of his brothels.
House of Cards : the LEGENDARY fic, vminkook, gets you right in the feels, dont waste your time here go read it, 394k words, rated E, mafia au.
summary: Jungkook is the heir to a mob empire, the most notorious in the whole of Seoul. Taehyung is a rookie sent in to infiltrate by his select team and bring the empire crumbling down."You knew the game and played it, it kills to know that you have been defeated."
The Songbird and the Sea : AGGHHHH, THIS IS THE BEST FIC EVERRR, made me love pirates, yoonmin, just read it, 255k words, pirate au, rated M.
summary: (wayy too long, go read it!!!)
time slip : jikook, rated T, alternate canon, 29k words, time-related fic
summary:  Jimin wakes up in the year 2017, which is very strange, considering the fact that last he checked it was 2013.
note: a great canon fic
A Glass of Water : jikook, but namjoon pov, a fresh fic (others aint rotten mind you), 8k words, rated T, college au.
summary: Namjoon is maybe a little over protective of Jimin and takes it upon himself to find out the identity of his new boyfriend. The others are absolutely no help.
Or, Jungkook and Jimin are dating and everyone knows except Namjoon.
You Broke My Heart (but I broke it myself) : jikook (haven’t you gotten fed up yet XD), anggstty, 19k words, rated M, alternate au.
summary:  Jimin's fiancé has abandoned him on his wedding day, and Jeon Jungkook, Jimin's first love and worst heartbreak, is back.
You Don't Bring Me Flour : short jikook, fluff and crack, college au, rated G.
summary:  In order to graduate, Park Jimin must convince cute grocery cashier Jeon Jungkook that this sack of flour is his beloved child.
Shooting Stars and Silver Moons : vmin, rated E, 20k words, fake-dating jikook, college au, bff fic.
summary: Yoongi and Jimin make a bet, Taehyung makes bad decisions.
(Or: "I'm kind of pissed you didn't choose me to fake date, I'm your best friend")
blindside : namhope, namseok, blind date au, rated T, i love this fic so much, 12k words.
summary:  Hoseok finally somewhat has a date. A blind date, but a date nonetheless.
The Shaman and the Exorcist : namjin, spiritual au, ghost au, but not the scary kind, college au, cracky, rated M, 145k words, apparently i visited this fic 21 TIMES (gasspp), i LOOVEE this too
summary: (too long)
in your eyes (it's where i wanna be) : yoonmin, tooth rotting fluff, rated T, 5k words, college au.
summary: Jimin pauses with his marker inches away from the cup, because — is he really going to do this? Isn’t it a bit old-fashioned to write something flirty on a coffee cup? But no matter what his churning gut says about danger and what the hell are you doing do you want to die, this guy is — with no better way to put it — totally Jimin’s Type with a capital T.
(Or: Jimin accidentally starts a nickname war with the cute blonde who likes his coffee way too bitter.)
i'll stick to you like glue-cose : jikook, rated T, 7k words, enemies-to-lovers kinda, really good.
summary:  Jimin merely wanted to study in peace, yet a certain five-foot ten frat boy - unfortunately also a past hook up - that epitomizes the very definition of smugness in one entire body whose ego is as big and full-scaled as the national debt, won't let him.
you're only brave in the moonlight : smuutt, bff au, vmin, college au, rated E, 14k words.
summary: There are reasons, very specific reasons that justify why—in three years of being hopelessly pathetically in love with his best friend—Jimin has not said a single word. Certainly hasn’t made a single move or attempt at a pass.But when it comes down to it, three years is a long time. A very long time.So when Jimin’s dam breaks, it breaks hard.(Or, Jimin asks Taehyung for help with taking photographs.)
(it's a paradise) it's a war zone : jikook, vacation au, really cute, enemies to lovers, rated T, 7k words.
summary:  murphy's law states that "anything that can go wrong will go wrong." jimin could maybe make peace with that if it didn't mean sharing a room and a bed with jeon jeongguk, the thorn in his side, for the entirety of his vacation.
once upon a timeshare : jikook, ex fic, rom com style, cute AF, 32k words, rated E.
summary:  Jungkook is in desperate need of a vacation, but spending two weeks in Namjoon and Hoseok’s timeshare in Okinawa with his recently separated ex of three years was probably (definitely) not what he had in mind.
Tie Me Down : taegi, lovvveee this fic, really fun, has drama elements to it, rated M, college au, 24k words.
summary: “I’ve just woken up with a fucking splitting headache, to find myself fucking taped to an office chair in a fucking living room that smells like unwashed socks and takeaway food. How am I? How do you think I fucking am?” “Wow. That’s a lot of f-bombs you’re dropping. Did anyone tell you that you need a healthy dose of positivity?” 
In which Yoongi’s life is a parody of Taken and Taehyung is just trying his goddamn hardest not to get arrested.
a sugar coated pill and a pick me up : soccer dad fic!!! namjin, kids taekook, rated T, really good, rated T, 25k words.
summary (only a part):  namjin are soccer dads who fall in luv
shōnen-ai love you : one of the most fun and cute (read: fluff) fics, vmin, rated T, manga fic, high school fic, 4k words.
summary: "What if I woo him with what he likes?" Jungkook frowns. "Knowing you, it's going to be a disaster." "I'm in pursuit of Park Jimin," Taehyung tells them dramatically, just as the bell rings and the teacher starts writing the first question on the board. "I'll do anything."
Doing anything means, apparently, studying BL manga.
My Cup of Tea : cute and short, minjoon, 6k words, high school fic, milk tea (lol) fic.
summary: One of Taehyung's many admirers tries to woo him by bringing him milk tea every day but Taehyung is lactose intolerant so it's always Jimin who drinks it.
From a distance away, the admirer watches.
Pastel : POLLYY, not really my cup of tea but i wanted to explore you know, jungkook/everyone, i liked it kinda, bdsm, baby kook, daddy kink, rated E, 188k words, bottom jk.
summary: Jeongguk learns the age-old lesson that you can't run from who you are, or who you like, for that matter.
There are a LOT of fics left, I’ll slow update.
326 notes · View notes
missjackil · 4 years
Text
My 15x07 Opinion
Last Call
Personal discomfort aside, I thought the episode was overall pretty good. I can be objective and understand that just because I don't like something, doesn't make it bad. Sometimes, it's really just personal taste. Me being “anti Saileen” has nothing at all to do with Eileen herself. I like the character, I like the actress I even like hers and Sam’s friendship, and think it's adorable that Sam is learning sign language. What upsets me is adding the romantic-potential sex element to it. It isn’t needed, it changes a sweet pure relationship into meaningless sex at least, and potential separation of the brothers at worst, and a new way to break Sam’s heart all in the middle. Call me old fashioned but meaningless sex is never good for anyone. It’s never truly meaningless, someone WILL get hurt. Sam is also completely over wanting to leave Dean for a “normal life” even if all the monsters are gone.  But that all being said, let’s have at it.
Dean really needs to clean his room! Well, he manages to find a case, goes to gather up Sam and finds him and Eileen making a big breakfast in the kitchen. Now I dont know what Supernatural hangovers are like but even when I have had a hungry hangover, I was not in the mood to make the food myself. If no one was making me bacon and eggs, I would eat potato chips LOL  but Dean seemed like a lot of alarms went off in his head when he asks “Are you two hung over?” and as much as he was trying to be supportive of Sam “gettin some” I think he seemed uncomfortable and even a little sad about it. But he’s got to be the big brother and tell Sam to have fun  😀as he is screaming internally. 😱
Dean sets out on his own to Texas and meets up with some random creepy Sherrif that thinks Dean should go to Hollywood because he has “the look”. (???)
Dean rolls into Swayze’s bar where you can carry your gun but not your cellphone (rut roh)  and meets up with an old hunting buddy, Lee.  Now I know many of you were beside yourselves on a cringe-fest about this but seriously it was fine.  I like the Yellow Fever throwback, and I always like when the boys talk about pre-series things and how John was.  Dean and Lee were apparently friends as teenagers if John was pissed they had gotten trashed, and Dean said “I havent seen you since Sammy was in Stanford” so Im getting the impression they knew each other for several years.
Meanwhile back at the ranch.. errrr,, um... bunker. Sam and Eileen are researching and oh my... Eileen is just mentally exhausted and needs a break, as does Sam, but whatever will they do in this huge fortress equipped with about 20 random beds, a shower room, dungeon etc?? Well, Eileen can think of a few. but now here’s Sam, with about half a teaspoon of a smile, and then a face of “Oh my dear friend.... you dont know how terrible an idea that is” And upon my first watch, it looked to me like Sam was about to kiss her when he took her hand, but on the second watch, he looked like he was sad and about to let her down easy. 
But here comes Cas, who I was never so happy to see in my life!! Great cock block Cas!! But not so fast! He needs to probe Sam a little (snicker)  Okay but I have to say something... Im not complaining about seeing Sam skin, i wont ever do that but how much dramatic skin revealing is necessary for this little booboo? I tried it out myself as I sat here in a flannel and tshirt, like Sam and I only needed to pull my shirt over 2 inches to show the same spot he was showing LOL yes sometimes I do appreciate “a little something for the Sam girls” fan service ;)
Okay so Cas’s probing of Sam’s wound got him slammed against the wall and knocked out. Dean is going to just forbid Cas to be in the same room as Sam pretty soon right? Cas cant get a hold of Dean, why? Because they collected his cell phone at the bar that he is now on stage singing at!
I thought the singing was pretty great. I love how nervous Dean was and there is no reason on Earth why anyone thinks “canon was broken” because Dean sounded good, because 1) It was an easy song with no difficult voice range or harmony and 2) Every single one of you, yes all of you, can sing better when you’re actually trying, than when you're goofing around singing in the car.  Y’all just sound like bitter wet blankets. Just chill and enjoy what we have left. 😜
Meanwhile, Cas can’t heal Sam so he calls on good ole Serge from last season. Serge not-so-subtly drops the existence of the key to Death’s Library on our laps. Im not speculating yet as to what that would be for, but I do know we don’t know what Sam’s “true forever” death is caused by, though I think he has to be killed by Dean.
 Serge can help Sam, then Sam is dying, then Cas is threatening Serge’s niece (savage!) then he’s healing Sam but Sam is freaking out, seeing Chuck’s memories and then he’s back!
Dean, of course, finds out the hard way that his old buddy is a killer feeding a monster in his basement, typical Thursday. I thought the fight was kinda cool and the dialogue was pretty good. Glad to see Dean coming back to caring because somebody has to.
Now Dean’s home, Sam is okay... Cas and Eileen sorta fade into the background. Sam explains his link to Chuck or as much as he knows of it, and optimistically tells Dean he believes they can beat him. 
So yeah, I liked this episode and will even moreso if next week we find out Sam let Eileen down easy and she went about her way.  It lacked bromance so it will lose points for that. It is rewatchable yet won't make my top 50. 
So on a scale of Bloodlines to Lebanon Ill give Last Call a 6.5. 
See you next week for the Mid Season Finale!!
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Notes from Robert McKee’s “Story” 09: Genre and Expectations
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The majority of this section defines genres and sub-genres of story. I’ll provide a summary of them at the end of the post. I think that we all as writers know what genre our works tend to lean toward, so I instead want to focus on what McKee has to say about what is expected of writers as dictated by genre and by the audience. 
Mastery of Genre
As life-long consumers of media, we have ingrained expectations of a story once we hear the genre. A rom-com? Well then, we’re in for a light-hearted comedy with a happy ending for the love interests. High fantasy? There’s gonna be lore and magic and elves and dwarfs, and a massive conflict that will probably span multiple novels or films. 
“The genre sophistication of filmgoers presents the writer with this critical challenge: He must not only fulfill audience anticipations, or risk their confusion and disappointment, but he must lead their expectations to fresh, unexpected moments, or risk boring them. This two-handed trick is impossible without a knowledge of genre that surpasses the audience’s.”
As writers, it is our job to identify our genre and research it thoroughly. In the previous section about setting, McKee explains how the setting of the story gives the writer both limitations and inspiration. 
Genre is, in a certain way, the frame in which the setting and story sit. Depending on the genre, the frame can be pliable or it can be rather fixed. Here you need to study your own genre deeply to find out exactly how flexible it is. For example, the genre of “Comedy” is much more pliable than that of the “Crime” genre. There are sub-genres, of course. But under the vast umbrella of “Comedy” almost anything goes as long as we can get a laugh out of it. “Crime” on the other hand, generally involves a struggle between a criminal and a justice-seeker (with the justice-seeker most commonly being the protagonist) and culminates in one triumphing over the other. 
How to Master Your Genre
“Never assume that because you’ve seen films in your genre you know it. This is like assuming you could compose a symphony because you have heard all nine of Beethoven’s.”
McKee states that genre study is best done in the following way:
List all the works that feel similar to yours, both successes and failures. Studying works that are similar to yours but were failures can lead to great insights.
Study each of these works from page to page, breaking each one down into elements of setting, role, event, and value. 
Stack these analyses on top of each other and look down through them all and ask yourself, “What do the stories in my genre always do? What are its conventions of time, place, character, and action?
Until you find these answers, the audience will always be one step ahead of you. 
Personally, that sounds like a lot of work lol. But doing case studies like he describes would certainly help me to better understand my genre. Idk when I’ll have time for it, but...well. I’ll work on it. 
Creative Limitations
This section really echoes what McKee had to say about setting, in that both setting and genre create boundaries for you to work within, but having boundaries pushes you to be more creative. 
Until now, I’ve always started writing a story on a whim, based on a single scene in my head that grows into some 300 page monstrosity. I resisted plotting and just wrote what I wanted to write that day. I enjoyed the freedom that came with having no specific plans and not thinking much about my genre. 
However, McKee uses a brilliant example to illustrate the beneficial aspects of understanding and working within the bounds of your genre:
“Robert Frost said that writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down, for it’s the self-imposed, indeed artificial demands of poetic conventions that stir the imagination. Let’s say a poet arbitrarily imposes this limit: He decides to write in six-line stanzas, rhyming every other line. After rhyming the fourth line with the second line he reaches the end of a stanza. Backed into this corner, his struggle to rhyme the sixth line with the fourth and second may inspire him to imagine a word that has no relationship to his poem whatsoever--it just happens to rhyme--but this random word then springs loose a phrase that in turn brings an imagine to mind, an image that in turn resonates back through the first five lines, triggering a whole new sense of feeling, twisting and driving the poem to a richer meaning and emotion.
Thanks to the poet’s Creative Limitation of this rhyme scheme, the poem achieves an intensity it would have lacked had the poet allowed himself the freedom to choose any word he wished.
The principle of Creative Limitation calls for freedom within a circle of obstacles. Talent is like a muscle: without something to push against, it atrophies.”
So one of our first steps as writers is to identify our genre or combination of genres, and then learn the genre conventions. 
Genre conventions are the expected aspects of a certain genre. In a “Boy Meets Girl” romance genre, an obvious convention is that a boy and a girl must meet. It isn’t a cliche--it’s a necessary part of the equation. These conventions force us to use our imagination to reinvent the paradigms our genres and audiences demand, and if we can do it right, we fulfill their expectations while giving them something they had never dreamed of before.
Mixing and Reinventing Genres
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What better way to sum up this section than Run DMC’s “Walk This Way,” which was the first hip hop hybrid video every played in heavy rotation on MTV? 
Generally, a work tends to be a mix of two or more genres. For example, there is a Love Story subplot in just about EVERYTHING nowadays, for better or for worse. By mixing genres we as writers have a chance to give the world something that has never been seen before. 
Something that McKee stresses is that genres are not static. He says:
“Genres are simply windows on reality, various ways for the writer to look at life. When the reality outside the window undergoes change, the genres alter with it.”
Social attitudes change. This means that what may have been a compelling story 50 years ago may not be as compelling when looked at once again today. The example McKee uses is the 1950′s film FALLING IN LOVE, which was about a man and woman who fell in love with each other but were already married and in unhappy relationships. Nowadays, in mainstream America, divorce isn’t a big deal. If an audience in 2020 watched this film, they’d just say, “You’re married to people you hate--just get a divorce already!”
“The audience wants to know how it feels to be alive on the knife edge of the now. What does it mean to be a human being today?
Innovative writers are not only contemporary, they are visionary. They have their ear to the wall of history, and as things change, they can sense the way society is leaning toward the future. They then produce works that break convention and take the genres into the next generation.
The finest writers are not only visionary, they create classics.”
McKee’s List of Genres
McKee states that there are many different ways to break genres down, and his is neither the best nor the most complete. Also, keep in mind that this book is actually focused around storytelling through film, so the references he uses are not books, but films. 
LOVE STORY. It’s sub-genre, Buddy Salvation, substitutes friendship for romantic love. 
HORROR FILM. This genre devices into three sub-genres: the Uncanny, in which the source of horror is astounding but subject to “rational” explanation, such as beings from outer space, science-made monsters, or a maniac; the Supernatural, in which the source of horror is an “irrational” phenomenon from the spirit realm; and the Super-Uncanny, in which the audience is kept guessing between the other two possibilities. 
MODERN EPIC (the individual versus the state).
WESTERN. 
WAR GENRE. Although war is often the setting for another genre, such as the Love Story, the WAR GENRE is specifically about combat. Pro-war versus Antiwar are its primary sub-genres. 
MATURATION PLOT or the coming of age story
REDEMPTION PLOT. Here the film arcs on a moral change within the protagonist from bad to good. 
PUNITIVE PLOT. In these, the good guy turns bad and is punished. 
TESTING PLOT. Stories of willpower versus temptation to surrender.
EDUCATION PLOT. This genre arcs on a deep change within the protagonist’s view of life, people, or self from the negative (naive, distrustful, fatalistic, self-hating) to the positive (wise, trusting, optimistic, self-possessed)
DISILLUSIONMENT PLOT. A deep change of worldview from the positive to the negative.
COMEDY. Subgenres range from Parody to Satire to Sitcom to Romantic to Screwball to Farce to Black Comedy, all differing by the focus of comic attack (bureaucratic folly, upper-class manners, teenage courtship. etc.) and the degree of ridicule (casual, caustic, lethal).
CRIME. Subgenres vary chiefly by the answer to this question: From whose point of view do we regard the crime? Murder Mystery (master detective’s POV); Caper (master criminal’s POV), Detective (cop’s POV), Gangster (crook’s POV), Thriller or Revenge Tale (victim’s POV); Courtroom (lawyer’s POV); Newspaper (reporter’s POV); Espionage (spy’s POV), Prison Drama (inmate’s POV); Film Noir (POV of a protagnoist who may be part criminal, part detective, part victime of a femme fatale). 
SOCIAL DRAMA. This genre identifies problems in society--poverty, the education system, communicable diseases, the disadvantaged, antisocial rebellion, and the like--then constructs a story demonstrating a cure. It has a number of sharply focused sub-genres: Domestic Drama (problems within the family), the Women’s Film (dilemmas such as career versus family, lover versus children), Political Drama (corruption in politics), Eco-Drama (battles to save the environment), Medical Drama (struggles with physical illness), and Psycho-Drama (struggles with mental illness). 
ACTION/ADVENTURE. This often borrows aspects from other genres such as War or Political Drama to use as motivation for explosive action and derring-do. If ACTION/ADVENTURE incorporates ideas such as destiny, hubris, or the spirtual, it becomes the sub-genre High Adventure. If Mother Nature is the source of the antagonism, it’s a Disaster/Survival work.
HISTORICAL DRAMA. The treasure chest of history is sealed with this warning: What is past must be present. He must find an audience today. Therefore, the best use of history, and the only legitimate excuse to set a film in the past and thereby add untold millions to a budget, is anachronism--to use the past as a clear glass through which you show us the present. 
BIOGRAPHY. This cousin to Historical Drama focuses on a person rather than an era. BIOGRAPHY, however, must never become a simple chronicle. That someone lived, died, and did interesting things in between is of scholarly interest and no more. The biographer must interpret facts as if they were fiction, find the meaning of the subject’s life, and then cast him as the protagonist of his life’s genre. These caveats also apply to the sub-genre Autobiography.
DOCU-DRAMA. A second cousin to Historical Drama, DOCU-DRAMA centers on recent rather than past events. 
MOCKUMENTARY. This genre pretends to be rooted in actuality or memory, behaves like documentary or autobiography, but is utter fiction. It subverts fact-based filmmaking to satirize hypocritical institutions.
MUSICAL. I would love to see a musical novel lol.
SCIENCE FICTION. In hypothetical futures that are typically technological dystopias of tyranny and chaos, the SCIENCE FICTION writer often marries the man-against-state Modern Epic with Action/Adventure. But, like history, the future is a setting in which any genre may play. 
SPORTS GENRE. Sport is a crucible for character change. This genre is a natural home for the Maturation Plot, the Redemption Plot, the Education Plot, the Punitive Plot, the Testing Plot, the Disillusionment Plot, Buddy Salvation, and Social Drama.
FANTASY. Here the writer plays with time, space, and the physical, bending and mixing the laws of nature and the supernatural. The extra-realties of FANTASY attract the Action genres but also welcome others such as the Love Story, Political Drama/Allegory, Social Drama, and/or Maturation Plot.
ANIMATION. I guess you could equate this to graphic novels, comics, and manga. 
Source: McKee, Robert. Story: Substance, Structure, Style, and the Principles of Screenwriting. York: Methuen, 1998. Print
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tvshowfreak · 5 years
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Thank you so much for translating the part where she talked about joana😊😊 are there any other important parts in the video that us aka non Spanish speakers need to know? Like cris talking about how she realized she was bi or idk, something else
Hey sweets, it’s @croanaexiste on insta who translated the whole section so kuddos to her, I don’t speak spanish well enough to give a complete accurate translation, I just get the general idea of the sentence most of the time 😂
I can try to give you basically the break down of the things they talked about but for a full and accurate translation we’re gonna have to wait for fluent spanish speaker angels.
They start the interview by talking about Skam’s popularity and what it was like to go from being anonymous to having people from all around the world talking to her. 
Then he asked what it feels like to be chosen to be a main character of a season, she said it’s an honor, that it’s amazing to have such huge visibility, for bisexuality, relationships between girls and mental illness, and because it’s so necessary to talk about these important subjects.
Then they talk about bisexuality and how it’s not a sexuality that is represented or showed much on spanish tv. She talks about how rare it is to have two central characters of a show be two women in love, and that on top of that are both bisexual because usually bisexuality is completely absent. 
Then she talks about the amazing impact of the show, how she got messages from people who were able to come out to their friends and family or even feel better about their sexuality because of the show. 
Then they talk about Cris’s character as a party girl who hides things from her parents, and something nowadays generations staying at home - I’m sorry I didn’t quite understood that part 😂
Then they talk about the scene Lucas finds out about Cris and Joana at the party, and how beautiful was that scene and how important it was for those two characters to have a connection. They talk about how they went further with Lucas’s storyline by giving him a youtube channel and showing awareness on his instagram posts and how important it is. Irene adds that giving Lucas a youtube channel was also a way to give more space to his character because it’s an important one, and that he was also important to put light on how different it is for bisexual girls for example and gay guys, in how people perceive them or recognize them in the street, she was referencing to Lucas getting harassed I presume. And how important it was to show the solidarity I think (sorry I couldn’t understand the specifics).
Then there’s a whole part in which they talk about parties again, but I honestly couldn’t understand anything 😂😂
Then they talk about Croana, that part that was translated 😊
Then they talk about whether or not she thinks Cris knew she was attracted to women before Joana. Irene says that no, and that when she met Joana and felt how she felt she didn’t realize it because she thought it was an effect of the ecstasy and she had so much to think about with the pills and the fight - so she confused everything, and it’s only maybe a couple of days later that she really realized what she felt for Joana.
Then they talk about the subject of BPD, of why they chose to change the original illness which was bipolarity in the og. Irene explains that BPD is apparently a lot more common in women and that it’s often diagnosed during the teenage years, and that they saw it as an opportunity to shine light on a mental illness that is very unknown. She said that herself didn’t know BPD existed before the show, and that since then she talked with so many people who have BPD and that it’s really nice for them to be represented. She says that they talked to psychologists, and between themselves so they could help Tamara represent it the best way possible without dramatizing it or making it just extra drama to the drama. They wanted to do it in the most normal and sane way possible.
Then they talk about Cris having to deal with such important matters at a young age and how it took her time to understand and make choice concerning her relationship with Joana. Irene explains that Cris is 17, she’s got a lot on her plate with school, being a teenager which is a pain in the ass (her words 😂) and on top she discovers that she’s bisexual and that her girlfriend has a mental illness, and that it’s a lot to handle, especially when you don’t know anything about the MI. And that you don’t know that things can be easier if you’re informed, if it’s treated well, and that, like Viri says, it shouldn’t have more importance or be more difficult than to be with someone who has diabetes. She think that Cris’s reaction was normal because she needed to think and wrap her head around everything and be sure that she would be able to handle it. Then she says something about being happy with Joana 😂
Then they talk some more about how badly mental illnesses are shown sometimes, like it’s just people being crazy.
Then they talk about the importance of the friendships in the show, the solidarity between the girls of the squad. Irene says that they wanted to make a show very feminine and feminist and that’s why the show is focused on a group of five girl friends. And that it was important to show the solidarity between women, and between friends - especially because friends are such an important part of your life at that age. The interviewer talks about how cool it is also that the group are outsiders and Irene agrees.
Then he asks about what’s going on with Ruben (lol who cares) and Irene laughs her ass off because indeed, who cares 😂 And she says that Joana was there so what was Cris supposed to do, and that he’s a good guy and she hopes he’s happy 😂😂The interviewer talks about the pills and the money and Irene is like well Cris is happy with her girlfriend now so let’s not bring that up again 😂
Then they talk about Amira and how nice and interesting it was to have a little bit more light on muslim culture. Irene says that Cris and Amira have been friends since kindergarten or middle school and that’s why it was so important for Amira to be a central pillar this season, because she has a big place in Cris’s life. Then Irene starts laughing and says that we’ve seen a little bit of Amira’s culture but that there’s a lot more and it would take an Amira season to really explore it. Of course the interviewer jumps on that and asks if it’s a subtle way to say next season is about Amira and of course Irene says she knows nothing, that she’s just saying 😂
Then they talk about a clip that we should petition for, I think a video of all the actors together, and Irene said she would propose it, I’m not sure I’m sorry i didn’t understand that part.
Then he asks how is the cast and crew are getting along - Irene starts laughing (🌚) while looking on the side, she can’t stop and the interviewer says that Nicole Wallace is there off camera and that they’re laughing together. Then Irene answers that everyone gets along very well, that they now form a small family and that it’s really nice to work with people that are so professional and so sweet. 
Then he asks in what capacity can the actors modify or give their input in the scripts and dialogues. She says they can but at the same time they can’t 😂They can modify the dialogue a bit if the way it’s written sounds off for their character and they think it should be said another way, she says it’s important so that Skam can be the closest to reality possible. 
Then they talk about when Cris comes out as bisexual and that there was a bit of controversy around the pansexual comment in the dialogue. Irene gets real nervous all the sudden 😂 She explains that for her personally, as Irene, she thinks the term pansexuality shouldn’t exist, because in a way it’s biphobic because it implies that bisexuals aren’t open to being with people who are trans for example. He keeps talking about how it brings up the fact that there’s a lack of knowledge of what all the sexualities and labels mean. She says that “there are made up sexualities”, and that it’s not necessary to keep adding more and more labels because it confuses young people, and they have trouble knowing what to identify as, just like Cris who had trouble finding her “label” because there was too many. That’s a rough summary, cause she says a lot of things.
After that she starts breathing again 😂
Then the interview is almost over and her asks how it felt to be the main character of a season. She says it was amazing for the most part, but that it was also a lot of work to appear in all the scenes, but that she’s so grateful to have had the opportunity to have such an amazing storyline, and play such a cool character with such cool people (something like that 😂) The interviewer adds that it’s even more special because it’s unique to Skam espana to reinvent the story and my baby Irene is proud 😌
That’s it 😂 Again this is a rough summary of what was talked about, it’s highly possible that I misunderstood some stuff 😂
youtube
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deeahhnuh · 4 years
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2019!
I've done this year-in-review thing since 2007! 2007-2012 are over on my old LiveJournal, and 2013-on are right here on my Tumblr. :)
2020. 2020! That year sounds space-age or something lol, and not like it's just, well, tomorrow. Happy New Year, Tumblr!
What did you do in 2019 that you'd never done before?
Not too much, lol! I guess I just kept doing the things I usually do, but tried to do them better/improve them (when it comes to work!), or do more of them (fun times and family times!).
Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Every year I mention that I don't really make New Year's resolutions - more like little goals all year! - but hey, it's a new decade! This year I think I will make a resolution that I will hold myself to. In 2020, I resolve to work hard - like really hard - on being healthy! Eat right, exercise, lose weight, work on maintaining less stress - be good to myself! I know everyone makes that kind of resolution, but it's a good one for a reason. :)
Did anyone close to you give birth?
Aw, no new babies this year!
Did anyone close to you die?
Sadly, yes... my uncle (my dad's oldest brother) passed away in May. ♥ We also lost a beloved neighbor in August.
What countries did you visit?
Lol, none!
What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019?
I seemed to lack the ability to chill this year, haha - I stressed out about everything! :O So I’m ready to go with the flow better in 2020!
What date(s) from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Can’t think of any big dates, but this December marked 5 years since I graduated (and gave a speech at the departmental ceremony, to toot my own horn lol!) from the University of Maryland! Time is bizarre - 5 years feels both forever ago and also not that far back!
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I’ve been working in the registrar’s office at a community college for three years now! I love it, and I’m proud of the work I do!! :)
What was your biggest failure?
Everything’s a learning experience of course lol, but thankfully I didn’t goof too bad this year! ;)
Did you suffer illness or injury?
Oh my goodness, I started off the year with a thumping in my right ear (the name for it is “pulsatile tinnitus” - which somehow makes it sound scary!). :O Happily, that mess dissipated in a few months’ time, but it sure did worry (and annoy) me! Other than that - all good! :)
What was the best thing you bought?
I was very fortunate this year to buy a few things that really made me smile!
I do love a perfume! Dior Addict is a stunning, spicy vanilla (I love ‘em sweet!) that really hits the spot.
I’m also pleased, on the “I stan goofy dance music” front, to have found a couple of old Ministry of Sound compilations that I’ve had bookmarked on Amazon for awhile - they came back in stock this year and I snatched ‘em up. Anthems Sound of Dubstep (2012) is brash and obnoxious fun, and Sessions Ten (2013) is slightly less brash but just as obnoxious so I love it. They’re both releases from the Australian arm of MOS!
Oh and one of my fave used record stores had a copy of one of DJ Rap’s “Bad Girl” CD singles with mixes I didn’t have; I was kinda shocked to see it and very very happy to buy it! It was only 99 cents. Wow!! I do like a ridiculous deal! :)
Whose behavior merited celebration?
My mom is amazing, as always, and so are my dad and brother! I love my fam!!
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
No one!
Where did most of your money go?
See above - my more frivolous spending went toward perfume and goofy dance tunes, haha!
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I will never, ever forget opening a very special present for Christmas this year. I love and adore It’s a Wonderful Life, and I even wrote a paper about it in college. I used a fabulous book as one of my sources - The It’s a Wonderful Life Book by Jeanine Basinger - and since then I’ve always had it in the back of my mind to purchase it someday. It’s a fantastic keepsake kinda thing for a fan of the movie. Unfortunately it always seemed to be out of stock, or way too expensive to consider, so over time I kind of just put it on the back burner.
But just a few days ago on Christmas morning as we all opened gifts, I tore wrapping paper off a box, pulled off the box top, and bam - there it was. Decorative tissue paper obscured it, but I could see the book cover peeking through - The It’s a Wonderful Life Book! My mama, the best mama, found this awesome book for me! My Christmas - my year! - was made! ♥
What song will always remind you of 2019?
Here’s a Spotify playlist of the songs that I loved this year; most are old releases lol. New(er) songs and albums I loved this year:
“Like Sugar” by Chaka Khan. Funky!
“Lost in the Fire” by Gesaffelstein feat. The Weeknd. Cool and atmospheric!
“Lights Up” by Harry Styles. Boy band guy makes good lol! Great tune.
Mazy Fly (2019) by SPELLLING. Dark, richly layered, weird, beautiful.
The Destroyer - 1 and The Destroyer - 2 (2019) by TR/ST. Two EP-ish releases that make up a whole album-ish listen. The Destoyer - 1 slightly edges out the second release, but I just like hearing so much synthy TR/ST goodness!
Compared to this time last year (2018), are you:
Doin' all right, and hopeful for a great start to 2020!
What do you wish you'd done more of?
Listen to more albums - new or old! The last few years I seem to listen to a handful of albums a year, then spend the rest of my music-listening time playing dance music compilations. Ah well, maybe I'll catch up on my massive "to listen" list in the next decade lol!
What do you wish you'd done less of?
Stress (see above lol) - but I'm def working on it! :)
How did you spend Christmas?
Family time!! ♥
What was the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in 2019?
Nothing, yay lol!
How many one-night stands?
None lol
What was your favorite TV program?
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My silly cartoons! Family Guy, American Dad, Bob's Burgers, and SpongeBob SquarePants (lol idk, nostalgia is hard to kick!) still make me laugh even though I am otherwise a perfectly reasonable adult. :)
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Bravo's Real Housewives - all of 'em! - crack me up and bring the totally ridiculous drama!
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The Orville is fantastic, one of my fave more recent shows. I love the cast! Each episode really adds to their stories and builds the show's world. Looking forward to the next season!
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Emergence is a great new sci-fi show with a strong cast - especially the sensible, big-hearted lead Allison Tolman - and suspenseful storyline!
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I haven't seen the first season, and to be honest I don't think I'd be able to explain what the heck it's actually about because I'm easily confused, but American Gods caught my attention this year! The cast is excellent - even if the plot escaped me, lol, I really got into the characters.
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And What We Do In The Shadows! Such a delight!!
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2019?
I love a classic, slightly minimal style, but I'm just happy to look decently put-together lol!
What kept you sane?
My fam, my entertainment stuff (music, movies, TV, magazines), working with wonderful colleagues... ♥
Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No! :O
What was the best book you read in 2019?
The It’s a Wonderful Life Book was probably the best book I read (well, most of it!) this decade. ♥
What was your greatest musical discovery?
SPELLLING is awesome - definitely an artist I'm excited to hear more from!!
What did you want and get?
I won't say The It’s a Wonderful Life Book again! :)
On a more serious note, I had my first MRIs in a while for MS maintenance - my previous neurologist retired and my new doctor wanted to get a baseline. I was very, very anxious about getting the results. My former doctor last ordered an MRI in 2011, so this was definitely a good and highly necessary step, but very nerve-wracking! I'm so fortunate to not be experiencing symptoms - and haven't since my initial occurrence of optic neuritis in '09 (though I was actually diagnosed with MS in 2011) - but what might the MRIs (brain and T- and C-spine) reveal?
I wanted to receive good results - a report of stability, not progression. And would you believe it? I did. My (amazing!) neurologist gave me the greatest news I had all year - stable, no new lesions, all good!! Of course this is for now - who knows about the future? - but I'm thrilled, and thankful. As this year ends and I reflect on all the good, this takes the cake!!
What did you want and not get?
Pffft, nothin' lol! I've got so many lovely things and reasons to be thankful - who could ask for more?!
What was your favorite film of this year?
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Lol I did not see many new movies, but of the '19 films I saw, my fave was Knives Out! I only just saw it yesterday - what a fun way to close out the year! Fantastic cast, clever story, funny - just all-around entertainment.
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I also loved Yesterday. All the Beatles references and the obvious affection for the group and their fans just felt like a great big hug! So good!
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Girl I'm well and truly a thirty-something now - 33!! I had fun! I did lots of little fun things with my fam - like shopping, watching movies, that kind of good stuff!
What three things would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Like I said above - who could ask for more? Not me! :)
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
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I'm late to the David Harbour bandwagon - but better late than never!
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And also Daniel Craig in Knives Out was a good thing.
What political issue stirred you the most?
Ew, there's something stirring like every hour or so.
Who did you miss?
Losing my grandmother at the end of last year really colored a lot of this year... and then losing my uncle added more shadows. ♥♥♥
What is a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019?
I always answer this one with a twist on the Pet Shop Boys song title and my life philosophy - "Happiness is an option." So here we go! The chorus of the song acknowledges that "it is not easy," and some times are definitely like that. This year had those moments, and next year will too, because that's how life is! It is often not easy.
But! The last bit of the chorus follows "it is not easy" with "happiness is an option." Things can stink, but they can be okay too. That's what "happiness is an option" has always meant to me, and it means that just as much this year. Maybe even more!!
What quote can be used to sum up your year?
See above haha! "Happiness is an option” has been my fave quote for years, and I’m gonna keep on living it! :)
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