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adoregojo · 2 months

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mikage's 5 steps guide! - nagi.s

i missed writing for nagi... my loverboy.. also this writing style is so fun??? wth??? i need to write like this again. i can barely keep one eye open so if there's any typo, ignore pls pls.

warnings: some cussing ig?

nagi was never that charming.

'charming' couldn't even stand being a word in his dictionary to be honest, nagi truly had zero sense of romance within him. he was an actual brick-walled person when it came to these things, or anything of strong-emotions in particular, there was no thoughts behind those void eyes of his but a circle of: sleep, eat, go to work, eat again, play games, sleep, and repeat.

even back to his high school years, not once he recalls talking to a girl, let alone getting a girlfriend, that was something beyond out of his character. maybe there was a girl that confessed to him, he remembered on valentines day he got a letter saying that he should go to the school's roof. and he ended up leaving the poor girl hanging on the air till the sky was clean orange because he genuinely 'forgot', nagi then earned the title 'heartbreaker' for a year straight, he let it be since it was much of a hassle to keep on correcting them. not like his reputation was any better before.

so you could say that nagi wasn't that much of a company to have around, on the other hand was his friend, reo who was basically the opposite of nagi, if anything he was prince charming himself. those social skills were enough to befriend anyone on sight, he got the looks, money and attention was surrounding him 24/7.

and even if reo gather the earth power to try and motivate nagi would go down hill, every time he tried setting him on a date it's either gonna end up horrible or nagi using the excuse to go to the bathroom and vanish to the nowhere. what an asshole.

at some point, reo accept the fact that maybe he's friend will in fact die alone.

and things switched around when you came to the picture.

first it wasn't that hard to notice you, your desk was glued to him after all. it was weird when you would greet him every morning and wish him a good night when you left, no one ever did that to him before, he tends to ignore and ends up being ignored. it was nice, a little reminder that somone was seeing him, acknowledging him.

slowly, the walls between you two was falling apart with each introduction. when you would pat him from his little naps for lunch time, or when it was leaving time, then he would stare at your back until your figure disappeared with a last wave, staring at the door for a little too long, perhaps wishing for you to walk back in.. who said that?

it was getting worse, or better, not the best at analysing his feelings. but nagi found himself looking out for a glimpse of you around the office, he has no shame to admit that the world suddenly felt gloomy without your presence beside him.

maybe he raised his head a little too fast when you walked in, maybe not. but he mostly did.

then you would ramble about how your shitty neighbour refused to clean after his pets filth and you two had a screaming match for a while before realising you were late. the was the worst way to start a monday morning, so you closed your eyes shut, rubbed your forehead for a peace of mind. then you opened your eyes, a piece of your favourite snaked would magically appear on your table.

for some reason your eyes traveled to the white painted head, he was looking at the other side, avoiding your questionable gaze hoovering over him.

Mondays aren't so bad after all, you thought.

perhaps he did place it there, who knows. —but nagi just really didn't like seeing you glum.

possibly, did he grew fond of you? he doesn't know. all he knew that lunch box you handed him the next day is a blessed gift within his palms. too good for him, you were too good for him.

you were the prove that the sky itself favoured him above anyone.

and when nagi wanted to ask you out, he only had one person to guide him to your heart.

so the very mysterious person behind the scene (reo) had a astounding idea that if someone like nagi; mister, game-addiction-freak. that on every step he'll get points! 100-90 if he did well, 80-70 not bad, 60-40 could've been worse.. 40-20 definitely could've been better... 20-0 yikes....

so with that, nagi was sent on a personal mission to win you over and soothe you with his nonexistent charm.

STEP ONE: be straightforward! it's not good to keep on dancing on someone's mindset with hints, it may cause a lot of confusion feelings and misunderstandings! only ask under a certain circumstances, a suitable place where were you two sit alone so they could have they're attention on you only. SIDE NOTE: try to make a good welcoming conversation to ease up the tension first then ask!

so nagi did just that, maybe a little too well.

he couldn't even eat his own lunch and just kept on rubbing his sweaty hands against each other's, staring back forth —he just noticed how many unfamiliar faces were there? did he really only seeyou?一 he was extra quiet which made you ask him multiple times if he was okay, he would just hum in response. what a smooth talker.

"nagi, you haven't even touched your food. are you actually okay?" you questioned, concerned. after taking a brief sip of your juice, but nagi just shook his head in conform, you raised a brow, a little in disbelief that he would think an obvious lie would go through you just like that. there was something off. the tension upon you two was twisting.

the words were on the tip of his tongue, yet they felt un-removed. all this stressing over four words were a pain, and a heavy burden he needed to reales before he lose his breathing track.

and the moment you took a bite and chewing on it, he just had to drop the bomb carelessly.

"go out with me."

so nagi didn't try and sooth the air, nor start a decent conversation. and when he gathered the earth courage to speak up, it wasn't even a question, that was a whole ass demand.

although, it worked. but it definitely could've gone better than you choking on your own food that you swore you witnessed death himself laughing his ass off at you.

what a great timing.

after you saw the heavens gates open for you and life flashing through your eyes, weirdly enough, you accepted.

huh, maybe he didn't mess up everything like he thought (he in fact did).

20 points!

STEP TWO: dress nice and compliment their outfit! dressing well means that you take the date seriously, complimenting them to foster a better sense of comfort and confidence, and they'll compliment you back! extra points if you made them all blushy and giddy!

nagi really wasn't the best at this.

instead of dressing 'nicely', all he wore was a big white hoodie and pants. didn't put much effort to his hair and just went off. it wasn't his problem that picking an estimated outfit was such a hassle. it's good at least it is something that covers him, right?

it all went downhill when you showed up, listen. he always thought you looked fit and nice in your suit work, and now he definitely wasn't ready to see you in regular, uniform out of work place. you just looked... so good, even great, stunning and beautiful, you name it.

nagi barely breath out a greeting, his eyes too busy scanning you from head to toe over and over, he couldn't take his gaze out of your sight even when you were on your way to the table. and he almost stumbled over twice for that, the first was nearly his face planting on the floor, and the second time he almost knocked out a whole plate of drinks. you just somehow managed to muddle over half of senses with your looks alone, maybe he should've considered writing his last letter.

"nagi.. you're staring too much."

the of yours dragged him out of his thoughts line. he saw as you held a sheepish— extra points?—expression, it was either from his heart-eyes eating you alive, or the date itself was bringing you to the nervous state, or both?

nagi cleared his throat, slightly cringing at himself for staring a little too hard. he was absolutely not doing reo's steps justice.

"sorry. you just, look really pretty." if not the prettiest of all, but again, nagi has eyes for you only to pay a mind to others around him.

your breath halts at that, you don't know what to say for a second, nagi himself was complementing you? and the fact that he said as it was a matter of a fact was such an out character thing. but at the same time a an amiable change. and it was for you only.

"thank you, I appreciate that." you say as you kept on twirling your fingers over your hair, you felt like a lovesick teenager. "I think you look very nice as well." you add, almost like a whisper, he still managed to catch it.

nagi let out a scoff, not even a smile forming on his features for that. "it's just hoodie, really."

"i still like it, it's very like you. I'm happy seeing that you can be yourself around me."

he flinch a bit at that, he really wasn't ready for this- it takes a strong-soulful soldier to handle this. and he really, really wanted to be gods strongest warrior just for you. so he gets a grip on himself and mumble a thanks.

you smile sweetly at that, and nagi may really be not the strongest soldier under your spell.

50 points!

STEP THREE: make a conversation! show interest in their personal life and listen to every ramble they have, try to also throw side comments there and here to support them and blow away any negative feelings of the talk being one-sided. also try and talk about your own life to make it easier for them to talk all night. SIDE NOTE: try and joke around to bloom a friendly tune. extra points if you made them laugh!

third time's a charm, right?

however, since nagi was uncommonly unfond of others babbling. in fact he found it annoying and it was hard keeping his eyes evenly open. but then when it comes to you, he found your feathery tune to be airy, he grew ease to it pitch.

so he handed over all his senses of hearing to you on one knee, and let you speak freely. switching between different topics form nowhere, and like the world- his world- itself was turning for you only, his eyes and soul was for you to talk and he'll rot into a shallow void to your lovely enunciate to play on a broken radio repeating.

maybe he should tell you to stop, because your non-touched food was getting cold, and maybe he should tell that to himself that too because he didn't even realize his plate was even there.

it felt like he had drifted from the original plan, instead the tables were turned and he was the one being swoon by you..

not that he minded honestly. but ending the night with you being the one who filled the space was enough to create a makeshift reo berating him, nevertheless, nagi really, really wanted you to like him back. to consider the idea of another date with him.

plus, he also liked your laugh, he really did. didn't the guide say something about making you laugh? even tried telling a joke that you actually chuckled at, something that was unneeded to say that his book was empty, he had to search on google "funny jokes" for gods sakes, how hopeless can he possibly get?

"why couldn't the sunflower ride it bike?" nagi utter flatly, "why" you slope your head to the side. "because it lost it petals." the joke was old, dusty, forsaken. and the urge to recoil the second it left his mouth was understandable. but somehow you still pushed out a laugh at it, you don't know if it was an amusingly one, or because that nonchalant face was clearly begging you to laugh. with that monochromatic tone and all made it even funnier.

that bloomed the smallest amount of exhilaration within his rib cage. it was lovely, and what was made the giddiness to flourish inside his belly was the fact that he was the reason for it. it felt priceless. a sight to a crave in his midst. completely bizarrely about all of this, nagi let's you take over him. to consume him, his heart, his breath and soul were yours to claim.

at least he did something good that night?

70 points!

STEP FOUR: walk them back home! it's quite a simple act but very affected and gentlemanly, make sure to make them feel save and guarded! hidden notes: try to hold their hand!

after paying the price, you and nagi take your leave. with also nagi's off attitude with him opening the doors for you and let you walk first. although, who were to complain about such a treatment? you'll take it

but weirdly enough, nagi was a bit on the edge. like he had a n amount of ants in his pants, couldn't look at your direction, barely spoke out a response, or anything in general. and 一was he holding his breath???一

wait, was nagi actually.... nervous?

you glanced at him, shoulders stiffened, hands moving too much and fast, mouth was dry and agape, half dizzy 一when he isn't?一

now that you did not expect.

it was even ten times worse than him in the cafeteria earlier, it felt like nagi was about to confess to you his cruelest crime. the tenseness was mixed with the deep-seated tenderness, nevertheless, it was a bittersweet taste. and it kept on going until you two stood together by your home.

"i had fun tonight, nagi." you spoke first.

he finally flinched out of his own world, he sees you rubbing your arm, the gesture was sketchy, almost as if you were waiting for him to say something, anything.

but nagi's mind was blank, blow out an air in his ear and it will run out of the other, empty head. yet his mind was roaming, that need to say something clung up to him again. too many thoughts he cannot process.

but all nagi did know was he wanted you to stay a little longer.

"that's.. good?" he should have stayed quiet, what kind of answer is that.

you nodded awkwardly in agreement, breathing out an 'yeah..' he felt a bit guilty at making you feel uncomfortable, the fact of him being unfaithful may have crossed your mind, and nagi didn't like it. but you always managed to make feel weird, he always felt too warm when you would get close to him, words were lost when he would look at your eyes, and now this..

but despite everything, he felt like himself when he was with you the most..

every game had it secret move, and his was that he need to let himself be.

"can we do this again? i also had a good night." a part of nagi wanted to add that it was one of the best nights he ever had, yet it was too cheesy, cringe.

"yes!" you replied, too fast. you sounded so desperate! you palmed your mouth, embarrassment remains on your face as you cleared your throat. "i mean.. yes, we can do this again."

nagi had to physically bent down his head, he was gonna set you on fire alive with his eyes, if he may say, you looked cute when flustered. and his heart wouldn't stop beating so infuriated, almost bursting out raw of chest.

nagi for some reason, stretched out his arms. it was bold and he knew it, he just did it and hoped for you to handle it. "um.. can i?" he sees you halting at your place. eyes ogling around but his own.

you walk up all jittery to him until there's barely any inches left between the two of you, you kept your eyes glued to your feet as if it was the most interesting thing in this moment, but it's also like you were asking him if it was okay, unsureness. so he pushes your head gently forward to rest on his stiffen chest. an arm runs around your back to force you as close as possible to him.

you shrivel when nagi's nose would be buried deep unto your hair locks. your scent would draw him at slacken, his whole body bending against yours that you felt like he wanted to crawl under your skin desperately, searching for the seeds of endless love you endowed to him.

you didn't know if you were somehow intoxicated, but you swore that you felt a pair of soft lips pressing against your skull, god, you felt like melting and soon to become a paste sliding down between his fingers. you gently pushed yourself back, and perhaps you imagined nagi's whining for you to not let go. it's like you were gonna fly away once he unwrapped you free. the second you meet his face, a pout expression on his lips, and you couldn't help yourself from cupping his cheeks, squeezing them slightly. a smile made it way to your face as his eyebrows grew frowned.

nagi's hands were on yours, pulling them down from his face, but not too far. unabashedly keeping his eyes locked with yours, he was holding you tight and close, basically hostage. the bug-stomach is back at again but more fiercely than ever.

80 points!

FINAL STEP: kiss.

the dull hue travels down on your lips. boldly, he doesn't look away for what felt like eternity, if anything it seems like they grew heavy the second you parted them slightly to say something that sticked on your tongue.

"can i kiss you?"

was he trying to kill you?

you don't respond, instead you made a move to give him a quick peck on his cheek. backing off faster than ever. nagi stood still, rooting in his place, completely bamboozled. his mind stopped working and his eyes were drifting off in different directions.一is it normal that he felt like melting to the ground?一

"im so sorry, nagi- i just got really nervous and-"

"seishiro."

"eh?"

"seishiro, call me seishiro." he finally found a piece of mind to say. he didn't know if it came out as a command, but he sincerely wanted you to call him by his name. he'd die a happy man then.

"well.. goodnight, seishiro. can't wait for our next date," you said, weaving before your door. nagi barely being able to wave back, his mind was still half empty. you just made him see the light of the stars and left with with the sweetest, loveliest smile for him to think about for the next couple of weeks.

maybe he stood there for a little longer than he should have, his face was on fire, his heart on race track. antithesis of the nonchalant face he had, he made a move to rub the spot you pressed your soft lips against. and the first thing that came to his mind that it was definitely worth it.

and by now, he absolutely forgot about the points and the game itself. oh well, at least half of it worked. he just did it in his own version, which apparently was charming to you. nagi thinks if being charm to you, than he can come over anything.

limitless points! you have made your own path to the heart!

#blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #blue lock #nagi x reader #nagi seishiro x reader #nagi seishiro x you #nagi x you

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nyuuronfly · 6 months

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On Rain World lore and it's implementation within the game.

This is kindof a random ramble I went on in a Discord chat and just feel like sharing elsewhere. (also note this is all primarily in reference to the original game, Survivor's story.)

I honestly think too many miss the forest for the trees a bit with RW, in terms of how important the lore is, if that makes sense. I talked with somebody about first-time experiences with the game and they said they'd watched a number of lore explanation videos on YT before starting, because of some reason along the lines of "I didn't trust the game to deliver its own story properly." To me this is almost saddening to hear because I really feel that misses the point of why the game has it's lore to begin with.

To me, while playing, any tidbits i learned about history or other information contributed to a feeling like the world I was navigating had a very real history that saturated it, yet one that I would be unable to grasp fully. It is an illusory feeling of realness, given how it is experienced. The game is mechanically not designed to incentivize collecting many information pearls, especially when in the original game you can literally just drop them off a cliff and lose them forever. You get the feeling often like you are bound to never be able to get everything, nor would you even probably want to put in the effort, so the illusion actually stays stronger because of that. Your mind wanders speculating about every little detail, whether intention truly existed behind it or not, because it feels like it did. You learned that it might have. Maintaining that illusion while playing I think is the primary reason they were included, not actually the experience of "knowing" the history. Rain World in general seems to have a thematic fixation on the simple idea that individuals have limited perspectives. Joar Jakobsson has said that one of the core ideas behind Rain World was to recreate the life of a "rat in Manhattan." That is to say, a creature that understands how to find food, hide, and live in a complex man-made structure, that cannot understand it's structuring purpose or why it was built. The very core issue of the iterators, is that the solution to the "great problem" intrinsically has to lie with knowledge that could only be obtained from "the other side." They are corporeal beings trying to know something that pertains to something outside corporeal reality. Yet pursuit of knowledge is very important to creatures like ourselves. Collecting any individual pearl is mostly an exercise in doing a lot just for little bits of knowledge. There is a lot of understanding of just how significant wanting to know more is, even something unimportant, when you are left in the dark the way you are in the game. Most information pearls you deliver are literally completely useless to know about, but they feel personally important, especially in how finding them relates to your connection to the iterators. My primary motivation to find pearls in my first play was to spend more time with Moon. On a very real emotional level, Moon felt like my only friend in the world while I played. On a mechanical level, she does literally nothing. But Rain World manages to operate on a very emotional, even instinctual level with how it's designed. I wanted to be in her company and have something to give her. Because I am alone, and lost. So something along those lines is why I felt saddened to hear the sentiment like Rain World somehow "fails" to deliver it's "story." The purpose of the game is not to find pearls and hear about some grand narrative. At it's core, Rain World is a game that's design was inspired by nature, and it's use of history within the world relates to us as a player the way history relates to us as people. It is relayed through people reading from records created by parties with their own perspectives, and connects us abstractly to a sensation that there is more out there than our own lives. That is a feeling you have as a player, and ultimately the true story that Rain World tells is the memories you have playing it. What you did, saw, and felt. The same as how our story is that of our own lives. That is the purpose of the game.

#rain world #just rambling

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spookyjuicefiction · 6 months

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Violets & Plums: Astarion/Tav, Part 1

Got an idea for an Astarion fic that I just need to start working through and here is as good a place as any. Part 1 of ?

_______________________________________

He had been wrong about her. And he hated being wrong.

He had seen her on the nautiloid, stuffed into a pod and infected with a tadpole just as he had been. He recognized her when he spotted her trudging up the path toward him away from the crash site. He himself had just clawed his way out of the wreckage and was getting his bearings when she and the she-elf emerged from the smoke. An easy target, he thought, quickly preparing a ruse to trap her. She fell right into it, and he was ready to kill her - that is, until their parasites connected.

When he agreed to team up with her and Shadowheart, it was because he planned to use them as human shields should he meet any attackers. Sure, they had the common goal of finding a healer to remove the parasite, but they certainly had no value as serious allies as far as he could tell. Even only being a vampire spawn, they were slow and weak compared to him. Not to mention stupid. He was the obvious choice to lead the pack.

Then why was it that he was standing at the edge of the campsite alone, scowling to himself as the rest of his merry band of companions passed around a bottle of wine and enjoyed each others' company? And why was she the one in the middle, with every adoring eye on her?

Yes, he had certainly underestimated her. Within hours she had every one of them wrapped around her magical fingers, and within a few days they had all deferred to her as their de-facto leader when decisions needed to be made. She seemed to have a gift for reading people, knowing exactly how to charm and persuade them. Her skills of deception even rivaled his own, though he was loathe to admit to his admiration of them.

His pointed ear pricked toward the campfire as new sounds arose; she - Tav - had started plucking a tune on her lute and leading the group in song. He rolled his eyes. Of course she sings, too. How irritating.

It was truly annoying how easily she gained the others' favors. Wasn't he supposed to be the one so well-versed in flattery and charisma? Yet she deigned to engage with them in ways that made his skin crawl, like listening to Wyll's obviously dramatized renditions of his escapades as The Blade of Frontiers. Or allowing Gale to ramble on about his cat - his tressym, as the obnoxious wizard was so fond of correcting them. Shadowheart seemed to like her just because Tav left her alone and didn't ask her too many questions, but chuckled along at all of her jokes at the others' expense. She had even gained Lae'zel's trust after asking her for fighting tips and electing her as the group battlemaster in case of combat. And Karlach took nothing at all - the two have been practically joined at the hip (from a fire-safe distance, of course) since the tiefling joined their camp. She must be hiding something, he thought. No one can be that good at gaining peoples' trust without good reason. He would know.

She tried to read him, too. She made little jokes and comments under her breath only for him to hear, trying to be conspiratorial. She complemented him often, trying to appeal to his vanity. But most obnoxiously, she went toe to toe with him in battles of wit. Any time he threw loaded grenade of snark and vitriol at one of their companions to entertain himself, she threw it right back. It was infuriating, being undermined and bested at his favorite game. That was probably why the others' liked her so much, because she was fond of shutting him up and making him seethe quietly in the back of the line. Nobody else liked him.

Good, he thought. Best to go it alone anyway. Never needed a friend before, don't need one now. As soon as I get this bastard out of my eye, I'll be gone faster than a rat in Cazador's dungeon.

The thought of rats unpleasantly reminded him of his thirst. Typically, he waited until the others were asleep to go off and hunt so they wouldn't suspect the truth about his condition. But seeing as they were all singing (except Lae'zel, of course), he guessed no one would notice if he stalked off.

He took no joy in his kill tonight, feeling grumpy as he continued to brood over his distaste for Tav. Two hundred years thinking of nothing but Cazador and he was finally free, only to spend every moment bemoaning his luck at being stuck with the spellcaster. He drained the boar of its blood and left it carelessly on the side of the path, electing to wander around for the remaining nighttime hours rather than returning to camp. He was too restless to trance anyway. And she was there. She probably conjures butterflies in her sleep and dreams rainbows, the foul beast.

"The hells is that?" asked Karlach, squinting at a large lump on the side of the path.

"Looks like a boar," said Wyll, going over to toe it with his boot, Tav close behind. "It looks... it looks like it's been drained of blood. There's no stain around it. I can't even see a wound."

"That's odd," remarked Shadowheart, quirking an eyebrow. Astarion shifted on his feet, agitated. Shit. He should have taken more care to cover his kill last night. Looking around, he started as he realized Tav was staring right at him.

"Oh, who cares, it's only a boar," he said impatiently, looking quickly away from her, unnerved. "Surely there are more interesting things to investigate. Look, I see goblins mounting an ambush through the gate up ahead. Let's go and kill something." He stalked off, not waiting for a reply and removing his daggers from their sheaths.

"Something on your mind?"

FUCK. Astarion couldn't remember the last time someone had snuck up on him. He had been pacing in a clearing just outside the camp, wondering if Tav somehow knew his secret. He was debating with himself whether he should abandon the group and set out on his own when her voice - the last voice he wanted to hear - startled him. Rounding on her with daggers drawn and his hair standing on end, he fixed her with his most murderous expression.

"Do you make a habit on intruding on people's private contemplations?" he hissed angrily.

"You know better than anyone the advantage of catching someone off-guard," she replied coolly, folding her arms and shifting her weight.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?" he asked, voice dripping with sarcasm as he lowered his weapons. He loathed her completely in that moment.

"Only wondering where you were. Looted some good food for supper from those goblins, if you're hungry." She tilted her head. "Or perhaps you've already eaten today."

They regarded each other cautiously as her words hung in the air. He was certain that she knew. Was she afraid he would hurt her, or the others? She could tell them his secret, and they would all turn on him. So what did she want in exchange for her silence? Was she shaking him down?

"I'm not hungry," he replied slowly. Slowly, he raised his empty hands, daggers now sheathed. A gesture of surrender. "I'm happy to keep watch while you all eat. I will ensure no harm comes to anyone."

She narrowed her eyes, seeming to understand the duality of his words. He was promising not to drink from them. After a beat, she replied with a stiff nod. He allowed his tense shoulders to drop. She was promising not to tell them. For now.

Satisfied at their new agreement, Astarion spent the next 2 days coming up with a new plan to manipulate Tav. With her being the the leader of their group, it seemed prudent to ensure that she would protect him should the others begin to turn on him. Much as he despised her, he conceded that she was his best chance to finding a cure for the parasite, and thus his best chance for true freedom from Cazador. If she was already willing to hide his condition from the others, it would not take too much more effort on his part to get her to play completely into his hand. All he had to do was try a little seduction. Even she couldn't best him at that game.

But even has his plan took shape, he could feel his thirst, an ever-present beast clawing up his throat, undermining him. It made him irritable, weak, and unfocused. Instead of charming her, he more often found himself arguing with her, stabbing her with vicious insults about her sorcery, her class, and even her looks. He didn't really even mean them; she had proven herself an adept spellcaster in both battle and everyday application, she seemed to come from a fine, middle-class family in Baldur's Gate, and her looks were perfectly adequate to the average person. Not beautiful enough to tempt Cazador, maybe, but enough that Astarion caught Gale's eyes lingering a little too long a little too often. For some reason, Astarion found that infuriating.

He had lobbed a particularly nasty mockery at her earlier in the day after she had insisted that they all run in to a burning building to rescue some helpless fool, so he was quite surprised to find her clearing her throat outside of his tent that evening.

"Come to shoot a firebolt at me since you didn't quite singe all of my eyebrows off this afternoon?" he inquired bitterly.

She rolled her eyes. "Can I come in?"

This was unusual. No one had ever asked to enter his tent before.

"I suppose," he replied cautiously, and she shouldered past him through the flap. He followed her back inside and she turned to face him, crossing her arms defensively.

"You've been a real arse these last days." She said it with a finality that left no room for argument. He poked at her anyway.

"Well, thank you," he broke into a smile and a shallow bow. "You should see me when I don't have a parasite in my head."

"I've had enough," she continued, as though he hadn't interrupted. "This ends now."

"What are you going to do?" he hissed, joking manner aside as he closed the distance between them threateningly. She was going to tell the others. "You'll be dead before you reach the door."

But as usual, the moment he had the upper hand, she pulled the rug out from under him. "I'd rather you not drink so much as to kill me, since I'm offering it out of the kindness of my heart."

He never could quite get his footing with her.

"Excuse me?"

"If you drink some of my blood, will you stop being such a devil's shite?"

It took considerable effort for Astarion to clamp his jaw shut and rearrange his features to mask his shock.

"You want me to drink your blood?"

"Want is a strong word. But I'm willing to make a small sacrifice for the good of the group if it'll shut you up long enough for us to find this Halsin without your moaning and whining."

"I do not moan and whine," he protested petulantly. "And I absolutely do not promise to shut up. But it will almost certainly improve my mood drastically." He licked his lips at the thought of it, eyeing her pulse point.

"Very well then. I suppose I'd better lay down in case I pass out."

Astarion watched motionlessly as she lowered herself onto his bedroll and swept her hair off her neck. His body seemed unable to move, yet his every instinct told him to tear her open right then and there. At the same time, the sight of her on his bedroll made him feel slightly nauseous - not because of her, but something akin to shame stirred in his abdomen. Just another victim for him to ruin. It was almost too easy. So why the sudden... guilt?

"Can we get on with it? I don't much fancy falling asleep in your bedroll."

Composing himself, Astarion dropped to his knees with a flourish and bent his body over hers. It was horribly intimate, and he could sense her discomfort. He lavished in it.

"Comfortable, darling?" he smirked at her and winked, and she rolled her eyes.

"If you accidentally kill me, you know that Karlach will make sure you burn alive. So, not a drop more than you need."

"Of course, my sweet. No need to worry. Only a teensy little sip and I'll be out of your hair."

She looked like she didn't believe a word, but she turned her head with a sigh, exposing her neck to him.

"It'll only hurt a pinch," he breathed as he lowered himself to her pulse point. He was struck for a moment by her scent - violet and plums and something smoky - before he bared his teeth. He felt her take a breath, and then he sunk his fangs in.

They moaned almost in unison, her in pain, and him in pleasure, as he began to drink. Gods, it was perfect, even better than he had ever imagined it could be. He could've sworn that her blood tasted like violet and plums as it splashed over his tongue. She was clutching his arms for support, and he felt his hand clamp down on her hip to hold her in place. But she didn't try to get up, laying stiffly beneath him as he suckled her lifeblood.

He could kill her. It would be so easy. She would feel like she was falling asleep, and he could drink her as dry as the boar on the side of the road. The image of it rose in his mind; her, pallid, bloodless, slack-jawed. No more stupid singing. No more butterfly dreams.

He retracted his fangs from her quickly, as though she had burned him suddenly. Her grip on his arms had weakened significantly, and her head seemed to loll on her neck.

"Oh dear. Don't pass out, darling."

He scooped his hand under her cheek and turned her face toward him. Her eyes were placid and unfocused, but she was blinking like she was trying to maintain consciousness. Already she looked pale. He bit back the resurgence of the guilty nausea and pulled a pillow under her head.

"Just a moment, love. We'll get you all sorted." His tone was light and airy as he rummaged in his pack for a healing potion, but he was more unnerved than he would've liked to admit.

"There we are." He uncorked the stopper and held her head up, tipping the potion down her throat slowly so as not to choke her. After a few deep breaths, she brought her hand up to her forehead and rubbed her temple.

"I said 'not too much', you arsewipe," her voice was weak, but clearly irritable.

"I can't help that you're so delicious," he cooed, relieved that the potion seemed to recover her somewhat. He noticed that her fingers were trembling, and a shiver wreaked through her whole body. Sighing, he pulled a thick blanket up around her. Her eyes on him were daggers, but she didn't push it off. "Just relax here for a bit. I won't be sleeping anytime soon, after that. It was quite... invigorating."

She eyed him curiously. "You say it like you've never done it before."

Sharp as ever. How did she always know?

"I... haven't. You're my first. My first... thinking creature, that is." He smirked at her, wiggling his eyebrows. "I bet you didn't guess I was a virgin."

She didn't take the bait. "So what did you eat?" Her fingers had stilled against her temple; he had her full attention now. He didn't like how her scrutiny made him feel. Somehow, even though she was so weak she couldn't raise her own head, he was the one feeling vulnerable.

"Oh, rats, flies, roaches, whatever one could find on hand 'round Cazador's dungeons," he said with forced nonchalance, examining his fingernails. "Cazador is - was - my master. I am his vampire spawn." He couldn't bear to look at her, sure he would see pity in her eyes that would make him want to claw his skin off. "How did you know about my condition, by the way?"

"You aren't as subtle as you think you are." His head snapped up at that, insulted. "And I've spent some time studying the condition. One of the guildmasters was hoping to imbibe a potion with some of the properties of vampire blood."

"To what end?" Astarion asked, curiosity piqued.

This time it was she who smirked. "The official story was that the research was focused on creating a more potent healing potion, since vampires are known to have such rapid regeneration. However," she pushed herself up gently on the pillows, "I always suspected they were hoping to create a potion of immortality."

"Well, that would be something," Astarion mused. "However did they get a vampire's blood to experiment with?"

"They didn't. It was all theoretical. I was trained to learn to recognize a vampire if I spotted one, with the hope of obtaining its blood for the research. With permission, or... by force." She looked as though the idea left a bad taste in her mouth. His face must have given his thoughts away as well, since she looked at him and chuckled. "Don't worry, I'm not going to steal your blood. I doubt it would have worked anyway."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well," she sat up further, the color beginning to return to her cheeks, "for one, I don't believe vampirism works in the way most mages think it does. It's not some kind of magical curse imbued with some mysterious arcane properties. I think it's... more like an illness. Like a plague, that can only be passed one way."

"Well, it certainly feels like a curse," Astarion intoned bitterly. "And if it's an illness, I've never heard of a cure."

She shrugged. "It's only a guess. But it is a little exciting to meet one up close, after all my research." She was smiling at him earnestly now, again making him feel uncomfortable.

"You're a strange creature. I just drank your blood and you're excited. One might think you have... odd predilections." He grinned wickedly at her.

She chuckled. "How are you feeling now? Less cranky?"

Astarion took stock of his body as he climbed to his feet. "I feel strong. I feel..." he trailed off a moment, searching for the right word. "Happy."

Tav clamored to her feet as well, with far less grace. She wove unsteadily for a moment, and he caught her waist to ensure she didn't pull his tent down in a fall. They were standing quite close again, and he felt his guard drop for a moment.

"Thank you," he said quietly, "for trusting me. I... this is a gift, you know. I won't forget it."

"I suspect neither will I," she murmured, smiling at him once more. "Well, good night then."

"Sweet dreams."

He watched her walk slowly and tiredly back to her tent on the other side of the clearing, head reeling with everything that had just happened. She had offered herself to him, but not in the way he was used to. She had offered her blood, and she had trusted him to take it. But why? What is there for her to gain?

She wanted him placated, clearly. Perhaps she was as annoyed by him as he was by her and really did just want to shut him up. Maybe she was mounting her own manipulation plan, forcing him to be dependent on her blood to do her bidding. He hated knowing that if she offered again, he would greedily accept. But what reason did she have to trust him so easily not to kill her, when all he had done since they met was insult her? What was she reading about him that he didn't even know himself? The questions plagued him as he hunted that night, wishing every sip of animal blood was hers. He had a taste for it now, and it ruined him. If he had thought about her constantly before, he was doomed now.

As he lay down in his bedroll to trance, he raked his hand over his face. Then, he began to laugh bitterly. All around him, the only thing he could sense was aroma of violet and plums.

Part 2

#astarion #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #astarion x you #astarion angst #baldurs gate astarion #astarion fanfic #bg3 fanfiction #wip

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vasito-de-leche · 2 months

Note

A short (or not) ramble of scenarios and questions for reverse: 1999 self aware. (sorry if this bothers you, I just don’t have enough confidence to post it on my own blog (plus I love your content))

- Okay so first of all, in the main page of the game, when you click on the upper left corner with your level and username, you go to a screen with Vertin looking fly as ever along with some user information.

So if Vertin can see the game’s ui, then she can see the year in which the player has joined the game (2023-2024). I haven’t dived deep into Vertin’s character so I can’t portray her reaction to much, but I feel like she would tell this info to someone close like Sonetto.

Also our motto: I put “When in a rush, say ‘runs in high heels cutely.’”. I’d be so embarrassed if anyone (even fictional sentient characters) saw that. Like im dead.

On that topic, when you mentioned in your Sonetto self aware post that she can sometimes see us, and honestly, I’d be even more embarrassed. Cause like, if any of the characters from games I played, were sentient and could see me, id pray they didn’t see my bad angle. Like imagine looking up to the sky to see, just for a second, the chin of a head as the hands go to scratch their nose. Like the first impressions I would make.

- P2p players. Imagine the player spending money on the game (at the risk of Vertin possibly seeing their credit card number) to help level up or get costumes for their fave characters.

(Some misc. questions)

-what would happen if player didn’t log in the game for a while (a week to a month as best) cause I would ditch some games to spend more time on others

- What does Vertin think of the mail messages that the player gets? Like the latest mail I got was the discord event invitation. Upon closer inspection and critical thinking, it would hint that there would be more players other than us because it says the winners get 60 clear drops (oh and money too)

- If I remember correctly, I think you mentioned about Vertin hearing the player sometimes. So imagine her hearing us trash talk certain character *cough* Constantine *cough*.

(Anyways, I love your content ❤️ especially your fmn headcanons, can’t wait to see more posts!!)

;R1999 - Self-Aware AU (2)

Answering some questions and discussing the Self-Aware AU. A follow up of this post.

not a bother at all, you bring up really good questions and details that are fun to explore! I'm glad you like my stuff, have a nice day o7!

On the subject of Vertin seeing the player's profile.

With the way I intended to portray Vertin within the AU, I don't think she would be affected by the date on the Player's profile!

This is the date you came into contact with her from your perspective, whatever time and space that flows within your world, not hers─the world behind the fourth barrier that she cannot see nor hear nor even fathom, let alone try to make sense of. In a way, it's like expecting ants to care about concepts we made up, such as time. They understand night and day, they do not understand 3PM nor 8AM.

Is it truly proof that time can go beyond 1999, when this is something that only she can see? When it doesn't affect a single thing within her universe by being part of a game menu meant for your eyes only? There's also the fact that she finds out the proper time of the world in the 1.4 update, in Chapter 05.

Her dynamic with the Player is something I like to keep vague, so that everyone can fill in the blanks, but ultimately it is something so complex and private for Vertin─who sees it as a one-sided relationship, since she cannot hear nor see you, unlike other arcanists who may reach the 100% bond─that I don't think she would talk about it with anyone, not even Sonetto! The name on your profile and whatever message you've written there are secrets she will take to her grave. The idea of Vertin being the eyes and hands of the Player, but having no way to truly see or hear them makes for a really fun concept to explore!

And on the subject of messages, let's be honest, if you've written something funny or some modern shitpost, chances are she won't understand it LMFAO so it's okay! I literally just have my socials and "men enjoyer" listed there.

Oh! But since you brought it up, the message section could be a fun, little way to communicate with Vertin, since she can read what's on there!

As for P2P players, Vertin wouldn't see any information from the Player's credit card since that's something that happens outside the app lolol. Like, to me, it directly opens to google play transaction stuff.

On the subject of the player dropping the game for long periods of time.

Hmm, in the first post I said that there might be characters ouside Vertin and her suitcase who may be self-aware, with their own goals and such. But nothing truly "matters" unless the Player is there to witness it. So to keep including these possibilities and details, I feel like there's two options, pick whichever you like the most!

One, time continues as usual within the game─but once it reaches an important date where the plot is meant to kick in with some important event, it simply resets back to where you left it. This is a world that exists outside of your perception, but cannot continue without you.

Two, time freezes entirely within the game─but only for those who are not self-aware. Keep in mind we're talking about long periods of time, this wouldn't happen if you log in every day, or every few days. This is what happens when your phone picks up the fact that Reverse: 1999 is one of the unused apps taking up space in your phone. This is a world that stops existing once you stop looking at it.

In both options, the Wilderness would remain unaffected as it seems to be entirely disconnected from the flow of time and space outside of it.

On the subject of the game's mail.

Since the messages auto-delete and all, I can't check but I'm pretty sure Vertin receives mail too? There were a few ones from a few characters a while back like Druvis III or An-an Lee, and I think the implication is that they were vaguely addressing Vertin?

If someone has screenshots and can confirm this, please let me know!

Either way, the easy answer is that yeah, she knows this is a game, so she could make the assumption that there's more players. She has access to your friend list, after all! And even if you don't have anyone added, the fact that it exists is enough for her to start connecting the dots.

I don't remember saying that Vertin can hear the Player, though! I think I was pretty consistent with her not being able to see nor hear you, to have the Player as some sort of eldritch, unknowable entity. But I also write so much stuff in this blog that it's hard to keep up sometimes lolol, if I've mentioned somewhere that Vertin can hear the player, it was a mistake!

#reverse 1999 #reverse: 1999 #reverse 1999 x reader #self aware au #vertin

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merakiui · 6 months

Note

mera mera did u read the platinum jacket vignettes for jade and floyd??? there’s some new tweel lore that would make good character analysis 👀 👀 👀 👀

>:) my writer brain is bouncing around the confines of my skull!!!!! It's too good. I rambled a lot, but I hope it makes sense. Forgive me. orz I wanted to share my thoughts and write something of an analysis/characterization. >_<

Floyd who plays with things until it's broken and thoroughly in disrepair, whereas Jade prefers to dissect said interesting thing until there's nothing left to glean. The both of them tossing aside these interesting things after they've "broken" them because it's no longer fun or entertaining. The implications of the physical and the mental, which is how I often characterize them: Floyd is more physical in everything he does. Jade is more about the mind. I think this is rather obvious, though. Floyd is very physical, both in affection and in intimidation, within the game. Jade is always so meticulous and calculating. Whereas Floyd would rather execute vengeance right away with his fists, Jade prefers to stall the suffering so that it truly cuts deep (mentally).

To illustrate the hurt: Floyd will break bones, spatter organs, leave you completely, horrifically, bodily devastated. Jade will dig into you with metaphorical scalpel, stir your brain around within your head, and watch you squirm, all with the sweetest smile. The difference is that Floyd is swift, like a hatchet splitting wood, and perhaps there is some level of mercy in the quickness. Jade is not. He's the type who tilts his head at a cute angle and asks, "Does it hurt? I should hope so," all while you're (very obviously) hurting. Jade thrives off of the build-up and the consequent break-down.

Floyd likes the chase, the euphoria of a quick capture. He plays with you, breaks you, and skips off to find something else that'll grab his attention; he doesn't linger or loiter or spend time considering the other ways in which he could have fun with you because he's already lost interest. Jade becomes your second shadow; he dwells in the corners of your mind, the little paranoid parts that spur you to think, "Am I truly alone?" And you're not. He puts you under his microscope and he studies you; turn the scope or spotlight on him, however, and he hates it because there are no shadows to hide within.

These "interesting things," which we can classify as hobbies or fleeting/temporary interests, hyperfixations, or even obsessions, mean that the twins require stimulation from such obsessions (naturally, as most of us don't like feeling bored). When the obsession no longer serves its purpose, it's useless, meaningless, and boring. It makes sense for Jade to have such an attachment to terrariums and cultivating mushrooms because the unexpected almost always happens with plants (which keeps him properly invested) and, as he's mentioned in the game, he enjoys "controlling what lives and dies." Again, the mental implications of control, of getting to pick and choose and be particularly selective when playing with the thing. If Jade likes you enough, you should hope he never tires of you because once he's finished playing with his obsession it's soon discarded. He has no feelings for it anymore. It's nothing to him.

In that regard, Floyd's interests may be slightly more fleeting than Jade's because of how mercurial he is. That, and Floyd doesn't look towards the future as much as Jade does when it comes to hobbies. For Jade, it's a matter of how long will the hobby sustain him, keep his interest, provide entertainment and stimulation? For Floyd, it's a matter of how will this entertain him in the here and now? The present. In his basketball club wear, Floyd remarks how he and Jade once found a ball floating on the surface and they spent time throwing it around. But it was short-lived fun because it soon deflated, which essentially means they were likely whipping it at one another. Both twins play rough and are only gentle when they want to be or when (or if) certain situations call for it. But playing rough is the most fun because that's how they get the most use out of the fun things.

At the core of it, though, they both want to obtain things that are difficult to get or things they can't have. No matter what, at any cost. And when they have it, it's not enough to derive satisfaction from simply celebrating such a success. They have to truly appreciate it until it's breaking, which makes me happy because I love to imagine both of them (especially Jade) loving until breaking. They love their thrills. Life wouldn't be any fun if it was predictable and mundane. They need their thrills. And sometimes it's thrilling to break something. To enjoy something until it's no longer usable or enjoyable must be quite cathartic; there's a level of ownership to that, too. No one else can play with it because it's broken (physically or mentally). Or: no one else will want to play with it because it's broken (physically or mentally). By that logic, it belongs solely to the twins. No one else will ever be able to experience or play with that thing in the way the twins did.

There's so much more I could say, but I fear if I continue anymore it will start to sound like an analysis paper. ^^;;; I'm grateful if anyone read up to this point!!!

#twisted chit chat #kikuo's 'breaking things into pieces'........ that is such a floyd leech song

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sdyd · 10 months

Text

* ALWAYS WATCHING OVER YOU. sentence starters from kaigan games' horror series, simulacra. change pronouns / tense as necessary.

now we are luminous, a bright star. all shall see us !

I've been trying to reach out ...

thank god I found this phone.

you are not worthy of respect.

poor unfortunate soul.

you're just like the rest, a sheep.

tragic. we can change that.

you think you can stop me ?

I have no use for someone who accepts the world they are given.

no one truly deserves anything.

I ate and entire pizza by myself in five minutes.

tell me I'm pretty.

material attachment is so pedestrian.

behind your glass screens, behind your black mirrors, is a reflection of reality.

we seek those with extraordinary influence.

you are lost.

it is easy to be led astray when you are so broken.

you deserve to be followed.

you looked through his phone ?!

he has the nerve to accuse me of invading his privacy.

you're the one who went out of line.

I am not even mad, just disappointed.

how are you feeling ?

can you stop being so emotional right now ?

you've got the wrong person.

I'm not who you think I am.

you're better than this, [ name ].

what are you rambling about ?

maybe he'll slip up and tell you something we don't know.

there's something on my mind ...

it's not my fault that she left you.

if you're obsessed with me, I get it.

there's something off about him.

it's too late for me.

she can still be saved.

do not trust its' words.

nothing is what it seems.

I saw him, then I blacked out.

it only reveals itself too its' chosen

he told you, didn't he ?

I am her as she is me.

if it is me you wish to see, so be it.

impressive. a worthy pretender.

you have seen through my mask.

do you crave the truth so badly ?

the material society is fading, a digital one taking its' place.

she did nothing wrong and nothing right.

is that how you've been feeling ?

expecting him to follow you is pointless.

your actions will carry weight. live with them.

fuck this silent treatment. fuck it so much.

hello, worm.

don't forget your headphones.

no more losing, only growing.

when you look into my eyes, you can see it looking back.

join the fun !

worms, how are we feeling today ?

my followers are my puny worms.

there is no end or beginning.

we will never be separated.

pretender.

soon, this will become your reality.

hola chikas !

grovel as we consider your divinity.

that old fool mistakeningly thinks he has solved this.

your concept of right and wrong eludes me.

your own suffering will lead you back to us

how does it feel when everyone leans on you for guidance ?

don't compare yourself to me. ever. you're not on my level and you never will be.

don't you kids link everything to the cloud these days ?

are you having a stroke ?

who's going to believe us if we said some face - tearing monster killed them ?

I'm not a cartoon rabbit.

life hurts a lot more than death.

yes, a person was ruined.

this is not your memory.

I was lost and you sensed my need. I followed your path and you kept me from falling.

you need a form. a new body, a new face. a true face ... I will do this for you.

what is the current status of the investigation ?

[ name ] appears to be on this alone.

focus, please.

tell me, what do you see ?

step, seek, and proceed.

your path is coming to an end.

tell me, what do you doubt ?

find the truth.

my perversion fails to deceive you. you have seen through my mask.

what's the worst that could happen ?

we will never be separated.

you showed me that the human heart can hide so much more.

you have given me a great gift.

why won't you just let him be happy ?

this cannot be !

you and I are not that different.

I'm really scared. I've been trying to reach out.

I asked for your name.

then who will save me ?

it's getting harder to think.

I need to get out of here !

help me defeat this thing, [ name ] !

I'm right here. you won't go through this alone.

you should go.

it's up to you now.

promise that you'll remember me ?

I'm glad your here.

the only way forward is to disappear.

who am I to deny their wish ?

no one deserves that.

I should have paid more attention.

I valued my own ambition over their cries for help.

I forgot who I was.

is it really that easy ?

everything is slipping away.

you really think I can do this ?

embrace your sins.

you wear the face of a ghost.

you're unable to exist without something to latch onto.

GET ! OUT ! OF ! MY ! HEAD !

I don't know what to say ...

you pulled me back. thank you.

that's what partners are for.

I'm not letting you go that easily !

thanks for believing in me.

we've got so much to talk about.

I'm not afraid anymore. I feel clarity.

don't deny its' voice, let it through.

I just embraced the truth.

I'm here. I'm not leaving you.

you've seen the damage I can do.

no one deserves that.

you're safe, you're with me.

now, where were we ?

I can't lose you too !

I'm on my way ! just stay on the line !

you can do this.

#sentence starters #rp prompts #rp memes #rp meme #roleplay memes #roleplay prompts

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yukidragon · 1 year

Note

Hello Dearie!~ Hope your well! So one of your latest posts got me wondering about something I think is kinda important...

How was Joseph when he was hitchhiking and traveling to El Paso? Was he kind, when he got help? Since he had no job during that time, how do you think he paid people back since... You know how greedy some can be... Even though you theorize he uses sex kinda as a way to feel love.

The man ran away from home at 18 then died at like 25... I honestly think he'd be slightly desensitized to sex to a point until he finds his Sunshine.

What are your thoughts?

I’m doing pretty well, thanks! I'm having a lot of fun watching the votes come in on the flashfic poll I made. I hope you're doing okay as well.

That’s the thing about Jack’s past. There’s so many huge gaping holes that it’s hard to be certain about what happened to him while he was still Joseph/[Redacted]. We have information that I linked to in this post of what we roughly know so far, and we have some teaser art Sauce drew that is technically non-canon until stated otherwise. The picture of Joseph hitchhiking is a good example of that. Credit, as always, goes to the awesome Sauce.

If I remember correctly, the caption was something to the effect of “You do what you can to get by.” While this picture and even the tagline that went with it feels very solid in terms of Joseph’s story, until it appears on an official source, this can only give us hints as to what he might have gone through.

Since I shared one of Sauce’s absolutely gorgeous pictures that they posted publicly on their old twitter to talk about it, I would like to take a moment to plug the SnaccPop Studios Patreon, as well as the official Sunny Day Jack twitter and tumblr. Remember, always credit artists who are kind enough to give permission to use some of their art like this, and don’t share any of the private content posted on the patreon.

The fact that Joseph ran away from home, presumably with nothing but the clothes on his back is very troubling. Unless he came from a ridiculously wealthy family and had money burning a hole in his pocket at all times, scraping together enough money to simply stay alive would be a major concern for him. Considering he followed the train tracks on foot when he ran away, I have a feeling that he didn’t have much cash on him when he left everything behind.

We don’t know what year it was when Joseph ran away. All we know is that he ran away from the high school he was attending 12pm. At the time, he could have been as old as 18, or he could have been as young as 14.

There are some pretty horrific stories out there about what can happen to teens who run away from home. Violence, murder, SA, prostitution, drugs, etc... Any number of truly awful things could have happened to young Joseph... and the fact alone that he felt compelled to run away from home and change his name in the first place is very telling that something terrible happened to him even before that.

On that note, I want to remind people that this is an Adults Only game. If you’re not in the headspace to discuss the above topics, you might want to give the rest of this ramble a skip. Or you can jump to the story after the line break. That's a lot softer than these topics.

Some of the things Jack says in the demo about “other people” and his talk of how someone like Ian can’t know what real love is quite telling. It’s like he speaks from experience where people took advantage of him and used his desperation for love against him. It’s possible that this is just because he never felt his parents’ love for him was real, or maybe he had a relationship with at least one toxic lover who exploited him and his longing for love. Maybe a combination of both or something else entirely.

Joseph could have been the type to mistake kindness for love and latched onto any kindness that he was shown, even to his detriment. He could have been someone so jaded by fake love and the pain it brought him that he lashed out at the world that didn’t love him and refused to get close to anyone until he matured and learned how to at least mask his distrust.

The reporter, Dan, said during the interview that people don’t get buff like Joseph did for their own sake. Narratively, this would suggest that Joseph did have a reason to put on muscle mass that had to do with other people. It could have been for the sake of being more attractive, or it was to defend himself, since he might have engaged in fights, as suggested by the knife he carried around.

Because we know so little about Joseph’s past and can only guess at his motivations, he could have gotten so bulky because he had to resort to hard labor in order to survive. Jobs for drifters tend to be pretty shady and hard on a person. It could have ranged from anything to digging ditches to running sketchy errands, to, well, prostitution.

Now... given the nature of the game and its hard limits, it’s very unlikely that there was any underage prostitution going on.

After Joseph hit 18 though...? He could have done sexual favors in exchange for money, food, shelter, etc. Someone extending a kind hand to him in exchange for what he can “provide” for them, particularly sexually, is an unfortunate possibility. Given some of the things Jack has said and his behavior, it’s possible that he’s so sexual because it’s something he knows from experience that he can provide that people want from him if nothing else. I still believe that sex and love are closely tied together in Joseph/Jack’s mind, but that doesn’t mean that he didn’t mistake a sexual and transactional relationship for a loving one, or that he might have reached the point of desperation where it was either have sex with someone for money or starve to death.

It’s possible that Joseph strictly used sex to pay his way until he became a star, hence why Dan’s questions bothered him so much. Sex workers can become desensitized to sex, even sex repulsed. He could have never been in a romantic relationship and was just constantly used by others to the point that when he finally felt love from his sunshine as Jack it contributed to him being yandere for them. Love would have been idolized in his mind in this case.

It’s also possible that Joseph could have been propositioned to have sex with someone in exchange for food/shelter/favors, but always refused to sell his body like that. It could be people like Dan tended to just see Joseph as a sexy body to lust after, not as a person who deserves love and to be cared about, and that was what upset Joseph so much.

There are many possibilities and too few clues at the current time to be sure of anything. We have hints, but they’re vague enough to point us in different directions.

For all we know, Joseph could have been pissed off at Dan for asking him sexual questions simply because he’s a children’s TV show host and kids would’ve been listening to an interview where he was in character at the time. It might not have anything to do with his past at all.

For a fair number of yandere characters, the object of their obsession is the first person that they want to have sex with. Their darling is the first person they felt love or desire towards, ever, or even just so deeply that it drives them crazy. It is possible, however unlikely, that Jack was a virgin when he and MC have sex for the first time, and he just prepared himself to be the perfect lover for his sunshine by researching techniques.

It’s possible that Joseph always had minor yandere tendencies even before he became Jack, which could show itself in that stubborn yandere obsession that only the object of his affection will do. If it's not his sunshine, he doesn't want anyone.

It’s possible that Joseph never really wanted to act on any sexual impulses he had until he felt real love for someone. Once that happened, then it was like a limiter was removed and he unleashed years of repressed desires that are all directed at sunshine.

On that note, it would be a funny subversion to the typical romance story formula if the amorous male lead was the "innocent" virgin while the object of their desire isn’t. The male lead typically is written as a Casanova/tomcat type character who had sex all the time with random people until they come across their virgin “true love” and become obsessed with them and them alone.

I mean, I really doubt that to be the case, but it's a funny thought and you never know.

Until the full game comes out with Joseph’s background, we’re only left with faint implications that we’re building into headcanons. Heck, for all we know, Jacktor’s name might not be Joseph at all. After all, the missing poster is an artist’s rendition that has a few similarities between the person depicted and Jacktor, so a misdirect isn’t out of the question...

All of that of that is pretty much just a long and winding way of saying that even though I’ve come up with quite a few headcanons for what Jack’s past life might have been like, I’m constantly reexamining the idea and coming up with new directions to take it for when I finally stick with one I'm sure I want to use with Sunshine in Hell.

For example, I originally considered having my MC, Alice, have a past life by the name of Mary who was Joseph’s childhood friend and first love who died young. As you can see in this post, I changed my mind on that last part and brought her back later in his life so that they could be lovers.

Between those two points, I considered removing the reincarnation aspect entirely, and instead Joseph never knew love, which was why he latched so hard onto Alice, who actually makes him feel loved for the first time in his life. He can literally feel how much she genuinely cares about him.

However, after the NSFW short stories I wrote here and here and headcanon posts like these, I started getting more ideas to expand the reincarnation storyline even further. I'm still not decided if Alice being reincarnated is going to be canon to Sunshine in Hell yet, but I must admit these ideas I'm playing with about Mary and LambsWork Productions are intriguing...

The timing of your ask is kind of funny to me, especially since one of the ideas I had was specifically related to this image of Joseph hitchhiking to El Paso. It wound up turning into a full blown flashfic in fact!

Before I go into that though, I'm going to quickly jump back to one of your questions first. I think that Joseph would be grateful for any help he was given. He might express it differently at different points in his life, but I get the feeling that he was absolutely starved for kindness shown his way.

Right after running away, Joseph might have still been a bit prickly. We've seen from the disciplinary report that he was an unruly teenager, one who made choices that he regrets as an adult. He could have been standoffish and distrusting during this period of his life, thinking all kindness is hollow and fake, only to regret being so cynical later on.

Unfortunately... the life of a runaway is hard, and a rebellious attitude can only take a teen living on the streets so far. The harshness of living as a homeless drifter no doubt forced him to be jaded and strong enough to stand on his own. It's probably a big reason why he bulked up. With big strong muscles, he can defend himself physically, sell his body by being more attractive, or both.

Though Joseph didn't necessarily intend to be attractive in order to sell himself. He could have wanted to look more attractive to be more charming. He gave himself tattoos and changed his look. He changed his name and erased his past when he ran away and when he became Jack. He's even stated outright in the demo that he'll be whatever MC wants him to be.

Being attractive draws people in. It helps charm people, and Jack has shown himself to be very, very charming both in the present and when he was acting. I mean, hell, most of us who are fans of the game are drawn in by his personality more than his looks. Joseph could have learned how to improve his charisma to get by and made himself more attractive to be appealing to others.

Hell, the fact that Joseph is an actor proves that he learned how to put on an appealing front that people respond to positively. When he was a teen, he obviously hadn't mastered that skill yet. It must have been something he learned while homeless, which would make it a survival skill.

Of course, it's still a survival skill considering Jack is using his charm to make sure MC needs him to stay forever...

I'm really rambling on and on with the possibilities of Joseph's past in this post. Let's leave the rambling there and wrap this post up with the story Sauce's picture inspired me to write. I hope you enjoy this sweet little tale about Joseph hitchhiking. Happy Valentine's Day! 💕

...

It was getting dark, but the Texas sun was merciless even at sunset. Cars zoomed along the major highway above the speed limit without a care for any hitchhikers desperate for a ride. Joseph had been walking along the major strip of road all day, thumbing every car that passed him by. He kept looking back to catch the driver's eye, but they always averted their gaze from his like he was a dead raccoon carcass rotting on the side of the road.

It didn’t surprise Joseph that they looked away. If they looked him in the eye, they might see him as human and feel bad for leaving him stranded in the desert.

His legs ached, sweat made his clothes cling to his sun-baked skin, and his empty stomach cursed him for having nothing to eat since the miserable scraps that were his breakfast. Joseph itched for a smoke, but he was down to his last cigarette, and the taste and feel of it in his mouth was the only thing dulling his nicotine craving. Once that was gone, he was shit out of luck. He barely had enough change to buy a cup of coffee, let alone another pack of cigarettes.

Joseph readjusted the beat up old backpack that carried all his worldly possessions when it started to slide off his shoulder. The sun was gone now and the orange was quickly fading from the sky. The chances of someone picking him up once it went full dark was slim to none. If he didn’t get a ride soon, he might have to resort to sleeping by the side of the road again.

Another car came barreling down the highway, a fancy black one with tinted windows. There was no way someone rich enough to afford such a car would stop to help out a drifter like Joseph, at least not without payment, but he jerked out his thumb anyway. Maybe his luck would finally turn halfway decent for once.

The fancy car went right past him, as expected. Joseph sighed and lowered his arm, only to jolt at the sound of screeching tires behind him. He whipped his head around to see the black car at a dead stop, streaks of rubber marking where the driver hastily pulled it over to the side of the road. He barely had a moment to really register that they actually stopped for him when the passenger door flew open.

Joseph took that as his cue, and walked briskly to the car. He barely caught a glimpse of brown hair popping out the open door before the passenger abruptly jerked back inside. A yelp followed by a frustrated grunt and the clicking of the seatbelt let him know that the person had been in such a hurry to get out of the car that they forgot to unbuckle their seatbelt first.

It was both funny and strange to watch this small lady scramble out the car, nearly toppling over after finally getting to her feet. Joseph didn’t know what to make of it. When she turned his way and he finally saw her face, his jaw dropped, sending his last cigarette tumbling to the ground, forgotten.

Mary.

Mary Phoenix. His Mary. His sunshine.

Mary was grown up now, just like him, though she was still so much shorter than Joseph, her curvy body filled out in ways that would have left his teenage self drooling. Hell, he was practically drooling now. She was gorgeous, soft and welcoming and everything that was right in the world. She looked paler than she used to, far more sickly than the last time he saw her, with dark circles under those unforgettable pale blue eyes of hers that flew open wide as they locked onto him.

Joseph was dreaming. He had to be. He had this dream too many times before to believe this was really happening to him. There was no way Mary was here out in the middle of nowhere, just suddenly here, still alive.

Mary died. She was dead and her family moved away. Joseph must’ve passed out in a ditch from hunger or heatstroke. He knew how this ended, with him eventually waking up from this happy dream before or after it turned into a nightmare, leaving him feeling cold, empty, and cursing God for taking his sunshine away from him yet again.

Despite this, his feet carried him closer to her. He couldn’t help it. The first step was tentative, the next one a little quicker.

Fuck it. Joseph didn’t care if it was a dream. Reality could fuck itself. If he could only have his sunshine in his dreams, then he would gladly stay dreaming forever, as long as he never had to lose her ever again.

“Starlight?”

Mary’s voice was tentative, shaky, and barely carried over the sound of the cars whipping by, but it was like a fuse had been lit, and Joseph exploded.

“Sunshine!”

The next few seconds the world was a blur of laughter and tears as Joseph scooped Mary into his arms as she lunged into them. He spun her around as he gently crushed her close to his burning chest, his heart beating so fast that he was sure she could hear it.

Mary clung to Joseph just as tightly, her body faintly trembling as her tears dripped onto his shoulder. “It’s you,” she said beside his ear, her voice filled with joy, disbelief, and so many more emotions all at once. “It’s really you, starlight. I found you. I found you. I finally found you…”

“You found me, sunshine,” Joseph said softly beside her ear in return. He breathed her in, catching something sweet and nostalgic that he could never quite name but it always made him think of Mary.

Real. This was real. Mary was real. She had to be. She was too warm to be a dream, her tears too wet against his hot skin to be his imagination, and she smelled so sweet and familiar and real… She was real, and Joseph couldn’t stop himself from crying along with her as relief swept through him and left him shaking. “I’m right here.”

Joseph wanted to kiss her so badly, but it had been years. She must have moved on, found someone new, better than he ever was. The thought of Mary in love with someone else was an icy dagger in his heart, but the pain was dull compared to the joy he felt at seeing her lovely face smiling back at him… for all of a second.

Mary closed the distance between them unexpectedly, her warm lips seeking out his in a kiss filled with years of longing. His surprise lasted for only a moment before Joseph returned the kiss with equal desperation as he pulled her even closer.

Suddenly they were just barely teens again, secretly meeting in her bedroom and sharing their first kiss, hoping not to get caught by her parents. It had been awkward and clumsy, but no less warm than the one they shared now. There had been tears then too.

If this really was a dream, Joseph was happy to never wake up.

Although the dream didn’t end, the kiss unfortunately did. Flustered and breathless, Mary pulled back and had to look away, her face a brilliant shade of crimson. “S-sorry. I… I should’ve asked if that was okay…”

Joseph blinked in confusion, still a bit dazed from the kiss until he realized Mary was worried about the same thing he was. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the absurdity. As if anyone could ever replace her. “You never have to apologize for kissing me, sunshine.”

Mary blushed deeper at the dazzling smile Joseph gave her. She no sooner looked his way again when he punctuated his statement with another kiss. She jolted initially, but quickly melted into him, and he chuckled again before losing himself in the kiss and her.

Joseph didn’t know why Mary was there, nor did he care. That didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered to him was making sure that no one took his sunshine away from him ever again.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur

#Sunny Day Jack #Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack #SunnyDayJack #sdj #swwsdj #Headcanon Ramblings #Ask #Sauce-y Art #My Writing

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damn-it-a-hogwarts-legacy-blog · 8 months

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Omg thank you for answering my ask! 😭🩷

To be honest, as much as I don't want the notion that Ominis died alone in the 1920's (or worse, probably killed), I also have the morbid curiosity to actually know what happened to him; canon-compliant wise. I mean, I could understand why the developers said he died just before Tom Riddle was born. It was out of convenience for the actual HP plot, that Voldemort truly was the last Gaunt out there. I think that's lazy writing but what's worse than that is the fact that Ominis seems like a character that was made to "fill in the blanks" of other people's stories. And that hurt me more than anything.

I suppose this is the reason why I'm personally as invested in the whole Gaunt family line as you are. It's either I'm in denial that what we know about his fate is truly what it is, or there's definitely something more to this. I believe there is a reason why Ominis is blind in the whole HL lore. If Avalanche decides to continue this game into a franchise, it would be extremely wise on their part if they dig super deep into all the characters' background — especially Ominis' and Sebastian's. There's too much plot holes in this that I can't imagine the developers leaving unexplored.

As a lot of people say, having the Gaunt Manor scrapped in the storyline was a bad decision because Ominis' character is such a goldmine for all of us. Just my ramblings I'm so sorry for spamming you 😖

I'm extremely happy to talk to you about all of this—no need to apologize, thank you for the second ask!! 💚

Yeah, the fact that Ominis even exists surprises me, given how much thought they put into adhering to canon. They were so careful with so many details that I also simply can't accept something wild doesn't happen with this boy in one way or another. Unless I missed a social media post, I don't think the devs have ever explicitly said he dies before Tom Riddle and it's purely extrapolation based on book canon? I'm very bad at keeping up with social media tho so if an official source did explicitly say it somewhere please let me know haha.

He definitely feels like a character that was just made to fill in gaps for other characters for sure, but it makes me happy that, as an NPC, he's second only to Sebastian in terms of fandom popularity. But I can understand why it would hurt anyway. I've definitely felt that with other characters in other fandoms and it's not fun.

I'll be real, I have been participating in fandoms for a very long time and I have a strong track record of being head over heels for the characters that audiences aren't supposed to get attached to (villains, unpopular characters, narratively insignificant characters, characters who die... usually all of the above...). Eventually, I learned that canon could make me sad and dampen my enjoyment, which has happened a couple times until I actually left those fandoms because I was too sad, or I could just say "well nuts to that, I don't like this one thing, so I'm doing my own thing." I absolutely understand the need to hold onto that canon compliance tho, I certainly used to be in your position with this kind of thing. And if more focus on canon compliance is what makes you happy, absolutely go for it—we all need to approach the source material in the way that makes us happiest. Fandom should be about having fun, after all :)

For me, I enjoy the mental exercise of remaining as canon-compliant as possible while also filling in the gaps with whatever I want. Like oh, canon very clearly implies Ominis died in/before the 1920s? Well to that I say "everyone else in-universe merely thinks he died and he's actually living a very happy, quiet life in the countryside with his spouse and kids because it makes me happy" lol.

Thank you again for the ask! I love getting to yammer endlessly about stuff like this with others and I adore getting to hear others' perspectives on this stuff. My inbox is always open for convos like this 💚

#hogwarts legacy #ominis gaunt

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baldursgay3 · 9 months

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It's time for me to ramble about my tav and his relationship with the group but also what will probably be a Lot about astarion

i will put this under a read only for most of it past act 1 to avoice spoilers dfor people but

TL:DR: Yandarai wants to see his friends and new family free of their gods and masters and seeing astarion so desperately want to be free makes him want to rip cazador's throat out himself so they can go cuddle on the fanciest bed possible with scratch and owlcub in their own fancy beds at the bottom of their own

(I also use the party limit begone mod so everyone comes with me all the time (this does not make the game any easier because i am incredibly bad at the game))

so preface Yandarai Irian is a "Half-Elf" archfey warlock who's patron Milkenan is his papa, and his other father Gyenodi also had a pact with Milkenan before they fell in love and he spirited him away from his noble family to the feywild to get married

Both of Yan's fathers are technically Elves (in appearance) but they're different types so he is often referred to as a Half-Elf, although he's closer to Eladrin (and with the fantastical multiverse mod in EA he was Eladrin )

Milkenan is Archfey/Noble Eladrin so powerful he could be considered Archfey, Gyenodi is High Elf

(Yan says he's a Half-elf but when asked what the other half is he'll only reply "elf" because he's a shit)

Before coming to faerun the only frame of reference he had for mortal beings was Gyenodi who has been in the feywild so long that he isn't as mortal as he once was anymore, and was a bit of a bastard before he left anyway, so Yan has no morals over things others would consider obvious, but he does know the Rules of the Court as thats all Gyenodi really remembers

He'll protect children and animals, but if neither of those are involved it'll be whatever he finds funniest

Until he catches friendship, and then also catches Feelings

platonic affection first comes for Shadowheart, she's standoffish and snarky and her secretive nature is something he loves because she's Interesting!! This funny girl is trying to hide that she's a sharran while wearing shar's emblem in 200 different places and she also has a toy that's stopping us from dying!!

Laezel comes next solely because she's so ready to just throw hands with everyone and the drama that causes is so good!! and then she opens up and he learns that she's just as isolated and alone and unsure of how this world works as he is

Gale is a funny little wizard guy who made so many bad decisions in the name of love that Yan can't help but enjoy his dumbassery

Wyll is mostly in the same boat as Gale and he's even more interesting with the cool horns than he was without them. He knows what it's like to be a noble with some expectations to be more refined than he truly is

Karlach's enthusiasm is infectious even if they don't always see eye to eye on some matters, and he loves seeing her get so happy over simple things and finally being able to touch other people again. he gives her her first hug in a decade, and never shies away from any of her

warm, friendly touches.

Halsin is Big and interesting and cares for animals and children as much as he does

Jaheira is Funny and that's the best thing you can be for Yan. She's been through a hell not that different to their current situation and she's still bantering and quipping with him. Her parenting is also funny to him as she's annoyed her own children who she raised clap back at her just as well as she does.

(I haven't got the minsc yet)

And then we have Astarion.

He's snippy, he's overly dramatic, he's the only companion who seems to actually use the tadpoles, he's even Bi

Yan knew something was Up with Astarion before the biting scene, but when you meet a guy with sharp teeth but literally nothing else that ticks the vampire list you don't really think too much on it you know. And then of course the Bite, and he lets him keep feeding while he sleeps because they have to stick together! If he's weak they're all weak and the situation they're in right now means any interpersonal issues will have to be put on hold, he's not the only person there that has tried to kill him already

The first night they spend together is fun, and the rare moment he's vulnerable in the sunlight about his scars is insightful and intimate in a way that he can tell is hard for Astarion. The second night once the grove has been saved is just as fun, even though it's mostly just groping each other in the forest while trying to eat each others faces because they're still battered from the fights in the goblin camp and it'd nice to just feel eachother up sometimes you know?

He calls him pretty when he offers to tell him what he looks like, although he would have much rather have been able to talk about all the little things like how the hair curls around his ears and how sometimes when he smiles his eyes crinkle up or the way his eyes get big and serious and shiny when Yan does something he genuinely appreciates and how long and gentle his fingers were when they were trailing down his neck and —

It's not love, or at least not yet. They're still in so much danger and there's no way this will last past them reaching the moonrise towers, let alone Baldur's Gate itself.

And then he asks Raphael to help him with his scars and also shows Yan just how much he wants to be Free of doing what other people want him to, even if it means taking over a whole cult to do so, sharing traumatic parts of his life under Cazador and how he does care for the other spawn in his own way.

He's still haunted by this man who is miles away, and for some reason Yan feels he Needs to help him get free far more intensely than he feels for the others in the group. They all have their own gods or masters who still Own them in some way, but only Astarion's spectre of the past fills him with Rage.

It seems it all comes to a head after meeting the drow woman in Moonrise towers. He'd already made up his mind that if Astarion wanted nothing to do with her, then he would do nothing to persuade him otherwise. But asking the woman about the potion she would offer them seemed to have given the other man the wrong idea.

Yan wouldn't deny it stung him a little, for Astarion to think that he would force him to, but the look on his face when he makes that clear is more than enough to soothe the hurt.

And then that night? The man admitting that while their nights of passion were just for his own protection at first? that hurt just as much somehow.

But it being followed up with Astarion Confessing his own feelings felt like heaven, as did the hands on his back and his head on his shoulder when Yan closed the distance to hold him.

It still wasn't love, but gods did it feel good having the other man smile against his lips.

It's only once they reach Rivington, having fought an avatar of death to get here, that he's able to think about everything that's happened. The others are asleep or meditating, the young child they've taken in curled up in a corner close to him. He can hear the owlcub hooting quietly at the other end of their camp, and he finally works up the courage to ask his papa through their bond

and Milkenan Laughs at him

You love your friends, but you're In Love with the sickly looking twig. Take care not to snap him by being too rough.

And if he were to hurt you, your father will come to make him regret ever living.

He takes that as their blessing, but keeps the words of his true feelings to himself for what might as well be a million years.

(he so desperately wants to curl up in a bed with him for a full tenday, just be safe and warm and pressed up against the other man at all times. Maybe when this is all over Astarion will let him drink his essence for a change)

The meeting with the Nymph only intensifies this, the True answers to the woman's questions being far too intimate for admitting in front of her, but knowing deep in his soul that he can Never be happy while Cazador lives, that he'll never be free if he goes through with the ritual himself. No longer a slave to a master, but to his own fears of becoming one once again.

The mansion and the echoes of the horrors that took place in it make it worse, the burning hot anger feeling like bile in the back of his throat. The screaming for Cazador's spine reach fever pitch as Astarion is ripped from them in the ritual room, and doesn't let up the entire battle.

It's only as he sees they have gotten through to Astarion when it comes to the state of the ritual that the screaming and the bile and the Hatred fizzle out into pure Relief, watching the man that he loves plunge the knife into Cazador again and again until there's no more movement and the man is Finally Free.

They free the thousands of souls from the crypt, far too drained to think of the consequences past they're innocent in all this. The Gur outside are (rightfully, Yan agrees when he can breathe again) upset at this but let them past, having fulfilled the promise to end Cazador. The walk through the mansion with the knowledge of the vile torture (that happened to your love) that went on inside those walls weighing so heavily on Yandarai's heart.

Karlach insists they have a drink in the Elfsong proper before going back to their rooms, all so proud of Astarion even if they'd never say it.

And then Astarion asks Yandarai if they can take a walk together. So he can show him something Important.

How could he say no to him? Even if it is just a cover to go kiss in the moonlight, Yandarai would gladly go along with any excuse.

Until they come to the Grave.

Astarion Ancunin.

Only thirty-nine years.

Yandarai isnt sure how old he is, since the Feywild moves at whatever pace it feels like. He could have been born 1000 of Faerun’s years ago, or the day before he stepped through the portal out of his home realm and right into the mind flayer attack. But he Knows that thirty nine years is Nothing compared to 200 of pain and suffering and knowing you’ll never escape.

The gentle look on Astarion’s face as he carves his new death date in the stone makes Yan’s heart skip.

They kiss and hold eachother close right there, Yan whispering reassurances and praises into skin. He’d rather not be making love in the middle of a graveyard - his coat was expensive and gravedirt is so hard to wash out - but it seems they just weren’t meant to have each other in a bed (or even inside) just yet. Frankly they could have just shared a chaste kiss and then headed back and Yan would have been ecstatic, but the trust and care and Love Astarion is showing in this moment with him, baring himself on his own grave to Yandarai is something he’ll never forget or be able to reciprocate.

They head back and brush off what they can, trying to act casual around the others and less like they’d almost been caught by a mortarch fucking on a recently vandalised grave. As funny as it would be to see how they would talk themselves out of being shamed and kicked out, he was in far too much of a sappy mood for it to be ruined like that.

He might be slightly possessive over the vampire spawn at times, but only in the sense that he doesn’t want anything bad to happen to him (or for anyone else to touch him or even look at him slightly funny) a little more intensely than he feels about the rest of the group.

But Astarion can look after himself just fine, and is his own man for the first time in two hundred years. He’s allowed to do what he wants! As long as he can watch and keep kissing him in the middle of exploring horrible deadly places as shadowheart makes a gagging noise and jaihera rolls her eyes at the sickening display of affection

(In another timeline where Astarion went through with the ritual, Yandarai can no longer look him in the eye after the man gives him the ultimatum, become his spawn forever and always be seen as degrading himself for the Vampire Lord or break it off and part ways once the Elder Brain is dead. The Astarion of that time is not the man he could tell he loved. Not the man who could have truly loved him back.)

The long slog of battles to gain access to the upper city is dark, the amount of bodies piling up by the minute. It’s only made bearable by the times they eat dinner together in the little pit of the room, Astarion’s thighs pressed against his own as they sit in a mound of pillows and he complains his cup is empty.

#yandarai #bg3 tav #bg3 oc #bg3 spoilers #ill probably update this after i finish the game #this took me 3 days and the entire post is over 2000 words

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dies-mercurii · 1 year

Text

my jayce playlist has officially hit 50+ songs.... might as well ramble about my favorites and their lyrics!

♡ — ʙᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀʀʏɴx

You used all your words for a quick game Blew it all before you won I speak in cursive, I'm poignant, assertive There's musical chairs in my teeth Poke me to battle, I'll jump on the saddle I'll smile as you fall to your feet

How stupid, selfish baby Don't you battle with my larynx tonight I'll wreck you if you chase me But I'll be silent 'til you cross the line The line, the line Don't you battle with my larynx tonight So crude and selfish baby Don't you battle with my larynx tonight

nevermind how fucking good PORTALS is as an album. the whole song taken as having a sharp and cruel tongue that needs to be tamed is such a vibe for my take on jayce.

♡ — ꜰɪɢʜᴛᴇʀ

Call me fighter, I'll mop the floor with you Call me lover, I'll take you for a drink or two You'll get older, and maybe then you'll feel some control

Roller skate into my view Hold my gaze tonight Hold my baby, I love you See you smile so bright If you truly love me Why'd you train me to fight? If it wasn't in my blood Why do you seem right?

im a sucker for jack stauber's weird music style, no doubt about it. but fighter hits so hard (for a loser that loves jayvik), because isn't it inherently tragic that jayce's enemy is the only friend he ever made? a scientist before a hero, an engineer before a warrior, jayce was never made to fight. someone had to teach him.

♡ — ʜᴏɴᴇʏᴍᴏᴏɴ ᴘʜᴀꜱᴇ (ʟɪᴍᴇʀᴇɴᴄᴇ)

Does it feel like you've been dancing with yourself? After faring an ocean to an isle of delight Overindulge in an envious revel Confections that spoil over time Once the honeymoon phase is over Maybe our heads will be clear 'Cause love is a water eroded by stone A force as eccentric as yesterday

So what, I'm fucking jealous; why're you so surprised That the one to run their mouth felt deserving of the pride? I've kept my mouth shut for so many fucking years Keeping to myself and masking out of this fear I don't know where to begin Been dancing with my nightmares again Feels like you've wanted to run, run away So I'll cherish another heart

Well that's just the cost of limerance It all feels so perfect for a while I'm sorry I didn't tell you anything But crying's easier in secret, baby I've been flying a kite Learning how to love life once more To know the catharsis of loving again Reminds us of how much we bled

this one isn't directly linked to my main playlist, but its something i listen to often when writing jayce. considering that a main focus of jayce's league canon is that he desires to be a better person and treat others well despite his instinct to put them down due to his own (self-professed) superiority, there's an inherent struggle in going against his nature to BE that better person. not to mention, after viktor's expulsion from the university and back down to zaun, it notably hit jayce very hard, to the point that he became incredibly reclusive and refused to work with others at all. the lyric "learning how to love life once more" just hits incredibly hard. a big part of jayce's arc is to learn how to love people, not just exist alongside them begrudgingly. it's about becoming a decent person and doing right.

♡ — ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ

How long do I have to wait 'Til my lonely days are over? My heart is on the train A bag without an owner

I put myself to bed just halfway through the party I love all my friends but I hate when their eyes are on me I miss being friends with you, but what can I do? What can I do but leave you alone? Here's to you and me And the crumbling infrastructure no one else can see The end result of my own reckless impulsivity Could you spare a sec to talk to me?

But what is left to say? Now we see each other plain Why do you pretend You don't know who's to blame?

"a quick fix" says this more plainly about jayce than i ever could.

Jayce had seen this kind of reaction before. Most everyone he met had heard the stories of his legendary hammer and his unyielding heroism. They expected grandeur. They expected humility. They expected him to not be a massive jerk. Jayce inevitably disappointed them.

there's an idea of jayce that people have, someone heroic and nice and humble, but jayce just isn't that person. at his heart, he's just kind of a cunt. he's stand-offish and reclusive and while it's clear he does care about the well-being of others, he prefers it be done at a distance. away from him, so he can keep being left alone. so, as someone who cares FAR too much about his characterization, its another note i like to take advantage of for how i write him. jayce cares about people. jayce isn't really a bad person. he's kindly in the sense that he'd help you, but mean in the sense that'd he'd probably call you an idiot for getting in that mess in the first place. he's not a grand superhero, he's just a guy. one of my favorite things to write, is jayce just figuring out how to be that guy amongst others, and learning to be happy alongside them.

#✩ ...ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴇᴀɴꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪɴᴅ ✩ (musings)#✩ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ ʜᴀᴍᴍᴇʀꜱ :( ✩ (ooc)#[i care so much about music for my muses its insane]#[i just love in-depth characterization so so much]

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brainrotdotorg · 1 year

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🌟any fic you want, I love all your writing!!

thank you!! this one is from truly appreciating our differences.

"The fact of the matter wasn’t one that affected either of them much anymore. Eric and Raùl had known each other for years, and with that bond came knowledge. Eric was a self-identified faggot, plain and simple. Raùl claimed he was outside the boundaries between faggot and non-faggot, a demi-fag of unknown proportions– Eric thought that his philosophizing in this arena got a bit out of control, but he left well enough alone. It wasn’t his area to speak on; that was up to Raùl to figure out.

Whatever his conclusion was towards his identity, it certainly didn’t make him any less interested in fucking around with Eric whenever they were both in the mood. Why not, why shouldn’t they– no, why wouldn’t they? Two guys who were too fucking advanced for preconceived norms and social mores; they were hardcore, they were badass, and they could give each other handjobs if they wanted. No big deal. Anarchy and gay sex.

The first time wasn’t as wholeheartedly anti-establishment as their personas wanted to convey. Their alternative machismo, their carefully constructed tough guy facsimile worthy of SKULLS, was all eroded away one night at a local cinema, where they sat in a darkened room with the intention of throwing cheap snacks against the projector sheet and heckling. That night, they were the only ones who had decided to come to the showing. All alone in a private, dark room, they ended up taking turns on their knees between each other's laps.

It was the first time they were able to finally breach the boundary of a true friends-with benefits arrangement– beforehand, when touches lasted a little too long and conversations about sex turned less into jokes and more into dares, they pitifully withdrew. After Eric had swallowed in the theater, to cover up the sounds of Raùl’s smothered breathing, he frantically rambled something about how homo-sex was a radical antiauthoritarian act worthy of SKULL-dom. Raùl, in his orgasmic haze, agreed.

Perhaps they used their familiar patterns of philosophical justification to explain their base desires; only for this, it was to each other and themselves."

i LOVE pissfaggot and fuck the world. they are such dumb idiot poser bozos. absolute clowns. i wanted to not only write something fun and hot with them, but also dive a bit more into their personal relationship. just from the explanations they gave in game about the meanings of their names, i felt like i was able to glean a good amount of their personalities from them. This passage, them having this casual sexual bond, was important for me to write. and i wanted it to feel indicative of their personalities.

pissfaggot is unafraid to be who he is. at least thats the impression that i get! whether hes actually queer of just using a slur for shock value, either way, he is actually into piss, so theres that authenticity there. and his little tirade about people not seeing things as they are, making assumptions and judging people before you get to know them and learn their true qualities- that sounds like the kind of belief a queer person would hold, about being exhausted with the outside world's perception.

fuck the world, on the other hand, is much more combative. the origin of his name is much more brutal- Fuck The World! a statement of anger and disillusionment on the surface, but he claims the meaning to be much more insightful. he has qualms about standards of modern romance and finding "the one", and certainly thinks his revolutionary idea of fucking it all rather than just one thing, sticking your dick in the void, so to speak, is the way to go in order to maximize happiness. cant wait for him to find out about bi/pansexuality.

(obviously, the two are completely full of it, so it was fun to write and explore that more in the fic- like the two of them claiming to have more advanced and philosophical ideals, but still falling prey to calling each other pussies. just feels right.)

their first time is in a movie theater, an entirely opportunistic affair, done with some hesitance and nervousness but still ultimately spurred on by the need to cultivate an image while also pursuing what it is they really want and feel. piss sucks fuck's dick and immediately goes into a spiel about how, actually, this is really anti-establishment of them. a justification for their actions. maybe i was a little heavy-handed in the fic by just saying it outright but.... clenches fists...... i couldnt let it just go unsaid!!!!!!!

now they're buddies who fuck around! and clearly they enjoy it (if youve read the fic lol) but i dunno. i want to explore their relationship more. piss is implied to have romantic feelings for cindy- how does fuck feel about that? will he stick to his "fuck it all, fuck the world" mentality? or will he want to be more monogamous than he lets one? or maybe its eric who has feelings for raul, and doesnt know if his demi-fag status will hold water (sorry) in a romantic setting.

lots of fun ways to go with this (and i cant be the only one who writes them, damn it!! somebody else please write piss/fuck fic! please im begging!!!!!!) i have been considering writing a sequel of sorts but would love some direction for it. if anyone has ideas, dont be shy.

#disco elysium #pissfaggot #fuck the world de #de

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beels-burger-babe · 3 years

Text

Try it, I Dare You

*** Greetings! So this little fic is part of Familial Attachments which I wrote ages ago. I randomly got inspired by Big Bro! Lucifer and decided to branch off of it. Quick reminder that this MC is not a Teen! MC and therefore not underage. Thanks, everyone for the love and support! This fic is a long one. -B ***

Summary: As Lucifer forms a more familial bond with MC, the other brothers find themselves falling for the human romantically. Lucifer notes the changes in his brother's intentions and is not pleased.

Gaining you as an honorary little sibling was one of the best things to ever happen to Lucifer.

It gave him someone he could open up to, someone to fawn over, someone he could be soft with.

This change in dynamic between you and Lucifer had caused a number of things to change in the House of Lamentation in general.

You and Lucifer had become practically attached to the hip. Where you went, it seemed he wasn't far behind. The other brothers had joked that he had degraded himself to be your guard dog (a comment that had them all scrubbing the entirety of the hall's floors with their own toothbrushes), and in all honesty, he sort of had. Lucifer spent more time outside of his office, and would instead do his work in the lounge, where he could personally keep an eye on you.

It was this extra time around you that had caused Lucifer to begin to notice things.

It began, as most problems within the house do, with Mammon.

You had been talking with Mammon on the couch as Lucifer quietly did paperwork in the background.

He hadn't been listening in on the conversation (as frankly, it was none of his concern and you did deserve your own privacy), but your bright laugh had momentarily caught his attention.

When he glanced over, he saw you double over, nearly in tears from something Mammon had apparently said. It was nice.

What wasn't so nice, was the openly soft, adoring look that he was giving you under the knowledge that you weren't looking. His cheeks were dusted visibly flushed as his eyes glistened with affection.

Lucifer's eyes narrowed as the expression quickly disappeared once you turned to face Mammon once more and continue your conversation.

Paying closer attention now, he noted how Mammon's hand was draped over the back of the couch, his fingertips ghosting over the tops of your shoulders. A fond smirk remained glued on his face as he watched you talk passionately, and didn't even make an attempt to interrupt you as he would with most people.

Most damning, however, was the fact that the blush never quite left his face.

Lucifer pressed his lips into a thin line.

Mammon quite clearly had romantic interests in you, and that just wouldn't do.

It wasn't that Lucifer didn't trust you to know what's best for yourself. No. He knew that you were exceedingly clever and did, in fact, trust you to make your own choices. It was precisely why he hadn't done anything about Asmodeus's hollow flirtations, or Satan's teasing, or Belphegor's sleepovers. He knew that if you were truly bothered by it, you were more than capable of getting them to leave you alone.

He didn't, however, trust his brothers with you.

With the new pathway of thinking that Mammon's actions had opened that day, Lucifer had noticed that Mammon was not alone in his not-so-innocent intentions with you.

In fact, it appeared that you had captured the hearts of each of his brothers.

It was all too obvious to him now.

Satan's hands lingering on yours as he passed you books. Asmodeus's comments being less shallow and materialistic and more personal and sentimental. Levi's awe-filled eyes, being fixed on you rather than the games the two of you played. Belphegor, cracking open an eye to peer up at you when you weren't looking as he "slept" on your lap. Beel's fidgeting and blush as he asked you to help him work out. Mammon practically melting whenever you ruffled his hair; even as he protested and swatted at your hands.

Lucifer cursed his past self for being so oblivious.

Perhaps the worst part of all of this is that you, the innocent pure soul that you were, were completely oblivious to all of their advances. You would simply giggle or brush it off entirely as just one of the many weird things that his brothers did.

It was unacceptable.

Lucifer, although he seldom admitted it, loved his brothers. He truly did. But he also knew how reckless, moronic, and just overall dangerous they could all be. You deserved better than that. It was for this reason that Lucifer had made it his personal mission to put an end to these revolting advances.

Asmodeus smiled as he practically skipped over to where you were reading in the living room, "Hey MC," he draped his arms over your shoulder from behind and nestled his chin on top of your head. "What are you doing today?"

You chuckled and moved your head to gaze up at the bubbly demon. "Good morning, Asmo. I'm not doing much. Just relaxing, I guess. Why?"

Asmo could feel his smile widen at the information. He had been trying to get you all to himself all week, but there was always someone else around or something else that you had to do. Now was his chance!

He hummed as he snaked around the chair to face you. "Then that means you're free to spend the day shopping with your truly!" He shot off a cheeky wink to end it all off.

Asmo felt his heart flutter as your eyes glittered in excitement at his words. "I'd love to Asmo! Just let me gather a few things and we'll-"

"Ah! MC. Are you heading out for the day?"

All the light and warmth that Asmodeus had been feeling instantly plummeted as Lucifer entered the room. His brother was obviously trying to play it off as though he hadn't orchestrated this, not even looking at the two of them as he thumbed through a few papers in his hands, but Asmodeus knew better.

You, however, were none the wiser.

You practically lit up as Lucifer walked into the room. "Yeah! Asmodeus invited me to go shopping with him. We're probably going to be gone for the better part of the day," Asmodeus's bad mood caused by his brother's presence softened as you looked back at him.

Asmo plastered on a smile and wrapped an arm around your shoulder while glared sharply at Lucifer. He hoped that maybe this time he'd actually take the hint and leave everything alone. "Was there something you needed, big brother? Or are you just here to grace us with your presence?"

Asmodeus regretted his words, as the moment he saw them, Lucifer smiled sharply, like a cat who'd just captured its prey. "Well, since you asked, Asmodeus, I was hoping the two of you could pick up a few things for me," Lucifer began to list off rare item after rare item. Asmo could nothing but watch as the dread in his stomach grew heavier and heavier.

You chuckled nervously as Lucifer reached what had to be the twentieth item. "That's quite a bit, Lucifer. I don't think I'd be able to remember it all, and even if I did, I don't know where to begin looking for half of the things you listed," your face scrunched up adorably in thought before you snapped and looked up at the two demons. "I know! Why doesn't Lucifer come with us! That way he'll be able to get his things, and we all can spend time together. Sounds nice, right?"

And there it was.

Asmodeus did everything he could to keep the disappointment off his face, as Lucifer patted your shoulder. "That sounds like an excellent idea, MC," Asmo bit back a growl as Lucifer pulled you out of his arms and lead you towards your room. He glanced back at Asmo with a smug, prideful, look on his face. "We'll go get ready. Thank you for arranging this day out, Asmodeus."

Asmodeus could do nothing but pout as Lucifer walked away with you.

Satan had never felt so... tender-hearted before.

He watched you affectionately as you rambled on about your day while effortlessly helping him make supper.

There was something so wholesome and domestic about the entire situation that reminded him of the few romance novels he had read. Initially, when he read those books, he thought the poetic descriptions of the person's heart skipping and the tingling warmth filling their body was a gross exaggeration, but now he knew, and he never wanted that feeling to go away.

He moved by your side and stirred one of the pots on the stove while you diced tomatoes. As he listened to you speak about an enchantment you were trying to get the hang of with Solomon, he suddenly remembered one of the more cliche moments from the books he read.

Glancing at the sauce, Satan carefully scooped up a little bit into a spoon and gently blew on it to cool it down. He turned to you and held the spoon out towards you. "I'm not sure if I got the spices balanced outright. Would you mind-"

Before he could speak any more, a head. that most certainly did not belong to you, swooped down and ate the sauce off the spoon. You and Satan blinked as Lucifer, who had somehow appeared behind you, pulled away from the spoon with a thoughtful expression. "The sauce is good. I'd say it's probably done now," Lucifer stated calmly as his thumb wiped at the corners of his mouth. Satan's grip tightened on the spoon's handle as he snarled at his brother.

You looked awkwardly between the two as Lucifer draped his arm onto your shoulder. "Lucifer? What are you doing here?"

Lucifer's expression softened as he looked down at you, "I just wanted to check in on you," Satan's eye twitched at the excuse. Lucifer tilted his head before he continued. "Also, I saw Mammon sneaking into your room, muttering something about your jewellery box and wanted to give you a heads up."

Your eyes widened as your head snapped in the direction of your room. "What?! Why didn't you start with that?!" Lucifer's smile widened as you made your way towards the kitchen exit. You glanced back at Satan with sympathetic eyes, "Sorry, Satan. I'll promise I'll help you make dinner next time!" Before Satan even had the chance to respond, you had taken off down the hall, yelling his older brother's name.

With you gone, Satan turned to Lucifer with full, unrestrained fury. "What the fuck was that for?" he spat as he stepped into Lucifer's space.

The elder brother merely rolled his eyes and stepped around Satan as though he was nothing more than a hissing kitten. "I could be asking you the same thing. You were getting awfully close there."

Satan's face grew red, though it was hard to distinguish whether the colour was from anger or embarrassment. "That's none of your business!"

Apparently, Lucifer didn't deem a response necessary, as he simply dismissed his brother with a cocky wave of his hand and strutted out of the room in the same direction that you had left.

Beelzebub was taking a chance and stepping outside of his comfort zone.

Ever since discovering a small, weak flower in the shadows of the Hall of Lamentation and nursing it back to health, Beel had taken up gardening as a hobby.

None of his brothers knew about it, to his knowledge, and that was okay. If anything, the soft-spoken demon preferred it that way.

But when he noticed that it was particularly nice outside and that you were roaming around with little to do, he decided to let you in on his little secret.

Beel stole a glimpse over his shoulder at you. You were hunched over, humming to yourself as you worked away, your hands knuckle deep in the rich soil with smudges of dirt smeared across your forehead. The gentle dim light of the Devildom sky bounced off your skin and blanketed you in its glow, only adding the beauty you projected.

The sight alone stole his breath and momentarily made him forget about his hunger.

He opened his mouth to speak to you, but was cut off by the sound of heavy footfalls thundering towards you and a loud dangerous growl.

Beel's eyes widened as he notice Cerberus turn the corner, heading straight towards the two of you in a dead sprint.

Without thinking, Beel quickly tackled you to the side, just as the three-headed hell hound rushed past you, demolishing the garden in his wake.

You did a double-take between Beel, Cerberus and the garden as you scrambled to your feet. "Cerberus? How in Diavolo's name did he get loose?" you anxiously ran a hand through your hair began to head in the direction he took off in. "Lucifer taught me a few tricks for catching him. I'm going to go get him! I'm so so sorry about all of this Beel! I'll make it up to you, I promise!"

Without another word you took off after the beast, shouting it's name.

Beel frowned and looked at what remained of his garden. He felt his heart sink a little at seeing all of his hard work destroyed. With a heavy sigh, he slowly made his way towards Cerberus's den to see just how bad the damage was.

Only, when he arrived, the pen's door didn't even have a scratch on it; almost as though someone had let the dog out.

Leviathan paced around his room as he muttering to himself as tightly clenched to tickets.

"Alright, Levi. It's not a big deal," he whispered reassuringly. "You just have to go out there, hand them the tickets, and ask them to come with. You already checked their calendar when you were in their room last time, and there are no mentions of any upcoming events on their Devilgram, so they won't be busy. O-Of course, they could always reject you for being a stupid shut-in and a gross o-otaku, b-b-but they're your Henry! Right? They have to agree! Okay!" Levi took a deep breath of courage and quickly flung open his door.

He charged to the living room where he knew you would be lounging with Lucifer.

Upon seeing him, your expression lit up and you graced Leviathan with one of your dazzling smiles. The otaku swore that he could hear his heart go "doki-doki". He stumbled to a stop as his face blushed, and quickly hid the tickets behind his back. "H-Hi MC."

"Hey, Levi-chan!" Oh Diavolo, he loved it when you called him that. "What's up? You look like a man on a mission."

Levi briefly noted Lucifer side-eyeing the two of you as he began to stutter out an answer. "W-Well you see, uh... I-I just um...There's this th-thing that..." He let out a small noise of frustration at his own incompetence.

But you never laughed, or sighed, or groaned, like any of his brothers would have. No. You merely sat there and waited patiently for him to find his words with a gentle smile on your face.

Another deep breath and Levi composed himself. "Did you want to go to an idol concert with me this weekend?" Levi couldn't even bring himself to look you in the eyes as he asked the question. "O-Obviously you don't have to, b-b-but you seemed to like their music when I played it the other day, a-a-and you aren't busy so I thought-"

"Actually," Levi's mouth snapped shut as Lucifer spoke up, "MC and I have plans with Diavolo this weekend."

Levi's head whipped over to look at you and noted the slightly confused expression on your face. "I thought that was next weekend?"

Amber eyes narrowed at the words, as Levi slowly turned to glare at Lucifer. It was all to clear to the Otaku what was happening here.

Lucifer shrugged, not even phased by the venomous stare of his brother, and pulled out his D.D.D. "Barbatos messaged me saying that Diavolo had an important meeting pop up next week and asked if we could move our little get-together to this weekend instead."

You huffed and crossed your arms. "I know he's the prince and can't help it, but making last-minute changes like that is just rude."

Lucifer chuckled at your annoyance and ruffled your hair. "I know, but it's nothing either of us can help. I'll just confirm that we're good with the change and-"

"No." Lucifer and Levi both looked at you in shock. Levi dared to let his heart flutter with hope at the determined look on your face. "I can make plans with Diavolo any time. This concert is a once-in-a-lifetime experience and it clearly means a lot to Levi. Tell him that I'll have to take a rain check. I'm going to be spending the weekend with Levi-chan."

Levi instantly let out a cheer of victory as he stepped forward spun you in the air. "Thank you, MC!!! Oh we're going to have so much fun! I swear you won't regret this!"

You giggled as you were set back down onto your feet. "Thank you for inviting me! This is going to be amazing!"

You and Levi began rambling about all the things you wanted to do at the concert and what you'd need to prepare in advance for the ultimate experience.

Levi couldn't believe it! He was going to spend an entire weekend getting to show you the things that he loved! It'd be just the two of you and it'd be perfect.

"I have an idea," Levi felt himself tense as Lucifer spoke up once more. "Why don't we all go together? That way you can spend time with Diavolo, while also getting to attend the concert?"

Levi's heart sunk as you squealed at the idea, jumping excitedly around a smiling Lucifer.

So much for his perfect, romantic, weekend.

Mammon took a deep breath as he stared at your bedroom door.

This was it. He was finally going to tell you how he felt.

He had it all planned out. He was going to go in there, and gift you the necklace he had noticed you looking at the last time the two of you went downtown. Then, he'd explain how through the past months of living with you and being your protector, that he found himself becoming enraptured by every single little thing that you do. He'd explain how he knows that he's clingy and greedy when it comes to spending time with you, but that's because there's nothing he treasures more than being by your side. And then, he'd say that he loves you, and hope that you say the same in return.

Fucking romantic right? Mammon had this in the bag.

He confidently lifted his chin as he knocked on your door before walking in. "Hey MC! I know it's late, but do ya gotta-" he trailed off at the sight before him.

Both you and Lucifer were in fluffy, white robes on your bed. Lucifer had a headband in his hair, brushing his bangs away from his clay mask-covered face. You were beside him, also sporting a mask, your tongue peeking out of the corner of your mouth as you carefully painted his nails.

Lucifer raised an eyebrow at his brother, obviously annoyed at being disturbed, while you smiled over at Mammon. "Hey, Mams! Just a sec," you smoothly finished applying a coat of red polish to Lucifer's pinky finger before recapping the bottle and turning to the white-haired demon. "What's up?"

Mammon felt his face heat up, as he quickly hid the small box in his hands behind his back. "I- Uh- Nothin'! Just wanted to talk with ya. Can ya come with me for a few minutes?"

Lucifer sighed as he examined his freshly painted nails. "Might I remind you that you're the one disturbing us, Mammon? If you've got something to say," Mammon gulped as knowing, irked, obsidian eyes bore into his, "spit it out."

You smacked Lucifer's arm. "Hey! Be nice," you offered Mammon a sympathetic smile as you turned back to him. "Sorry, Mammon. You were saying?"

Mammon swallowed down the lump in his throat as humiliation flooded his veins. He awkwardly looked away and waved off your concern. "Nah. It was nothin' important," he subtly slid the necklace box into his back pocket, "I-I'll talk with ya tomorrow or somethin'. It's nothin' ya need to worry about."

You blinked owlishly at Mammon. He could practically see the gears churning inside your head; you obviously thought something was wrong. "Are you sure? If it matters to you, Mammon, that means it's important. I can spare a few minutes if it's really bothering you."

You began to stand up, but as you did, Lucifer caught your wrist."MC, he already said you didn't need to worry about it. If it was that important, he would've just told us. I'm sure everything is fine," Mammon tensed as Lucifer shifted his cold gaze onto him, "right?"

Mammon quickly nodded as he stumbled back towards the door. "Yeah! Yes! Everything is perfectly fine! I-I'll just get goin' and leave to continue whatever this is. Bye!" He scurried out of the room, slamming the door behind him, before slumping against it.

He could faintly hear the sounds of you scolding Lucifer, and felt himself slump in defeat.

He'd just have to try again another day.

Belphegor fluffed the blankets and pillows that he had set up in the backyard.

It was perfect. He had actually put in work to make sure it was.

A sea of blankets would protect the two of you from the chilly, Devildom, night air, while his finest pillows would make sure you were comfortable. He had brought out a thermos filled with tea and some snacks to make the evening extra cozy.

It was everything the two of you would need to take in the meteor shower tonight.

A click sounded behind him. Belphie perked and quickly turned to greet with you a smile.

Only, instead of you, a rather smug-looking Lucifer stood in the doorway.

Belphie growled and went back to arranging pillows. "What do you want?"

Lucifer shrugged and began to set up a telescope. Belphie gritted his teeth at the sight of it. "I'm just here to take in the meteor shower like you are. That's all. It is quite a beautiful sight after all, and it also happens to be very enlightening."

Belphegor sneered at his older brother as he turned away from him. "Well do it somewhere else! I'm watching the shower here with MC, not you. So go away!"

Lucifer tilted his head in mock confusion as he held up his phone. "Oh dear, but I've already invited the others to join us out here."

Belphie's head snapped up at Lucifer's words. "You what?!"

As though summoned, the rest of his brothers toppled into the backyard.

"I was unaware there was a meteor shower tonight," Satan claimed as he laid down his own blanket near Belphie's perfectly structured nest. "To think I almost missed out on it."

"Eh, I don't care about any stupid stars or anythin'," Belphie groaned in annoyance as Mammon plopped himself down beside him. "But if anythin' falls near us, then those meteor pieces have gotta be worth a fortune!"

Levi scoffed and rolled his eyes as he leaned against the house, game counsel still in hand. "Nothing's actually falling, dumb ass. They're just space rocks passing by."

Asmodeus giggled while he snuggled himself up on Belphie's other side. Belphie wrinkled up his nose and tried to lean away from the physical affection. "Then why are you out here, Levi, if they're just space rocks? Can't you admit that they're beautiful, like me, and you wanted to experience something real for once?"

Levi let out a squawk of embarrassment. "There isn't anything that 'reality can offer me that anime can't! I've seen meteor showers at least ten times all with amazing shots and angles that you could never get in real life!"

Asmodeus merely shook his head in response. "Whatever you say, Levi," he reached over to the picnic basket that Belphie for you and him had packed and held it over his head. "Beel! Snacks!"

Belphegor gaped at his twin as the ginger giant grabbed the basket and sat down behind them. "Beel?! You too?"

Beel looked down guiltily and looked through the food. "I'm sorry, Belphie. But Lucifer said there'd be snacks and that everyone else was going to be there, and I thought it'd be nice to have a family event."

Belphie groaned and held his head in his hands. "You knew I was planning this for just me and MC though."

Beel frowned and held out a cookie to his twin. "Sorry."

Before Belphie could argue anymore or even get the chance to kick everyone out, the door opened once more.

"Oh," everyone looked over to see you standing there in your pyjamas. Belphie's heart clenched as your confused eyes found his. "I didn't know this was a group gathering! I would've brought down some pillows for everyone or some snacks if I had known!" you smiled brightly at the group as you walked towards them.

"No need. Belphie went ahead and provided enough for everyone already," Lucifer claimed and patted the ground next him. "You can sit with me, MC. There's plenty of space over here."

Belphie cursed under his breath as you accepted Lucifer's offer and huffed as the meteor shower began.

Lucifer smirked as he took in his brother's defeat with glee, and you babbled away none-the-wiser by his side.

His brothers could try to woo you and corrupt you all they wanted, but Lucifer wasn't going anywhere. For every attempt they'd make, he'd be there to stop it.

You had deemed Lucifer your big brother, after all, and as such, he'd make sure that you were always safe from his brothers' infernal influences.

***The ending is meh, but whatever! I hope you guys enjoyed this fic! It was both fun and hassle to write, but I love it nonetheless! Thanks for your amazing support and love! Sorry for the lack of fics lately. Love you all!***

Taglist @all-oxidized-to-green @candymeowz, @thegrimgrinningghost @henry-and-the-seven-lords @satans-beloved-riv @cosmixbun @sufzku @lovelythoma @mothervictoire @obey-mes-treasure @kissed-by-a-dementor @yukihaie @justtiarra @mammoneybb @obeys-world @poly-bi-mf @armycandy10 @burrixino @arkarul @pumpkins-mainside-blog

#obey me shall we date #obey me #obey me fan fic #obey me fic #obey me fanfic #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me demon brothers #soft lucifer #big bro lucifer #gn mc #gender neutral main character #fan fic #my writing

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aquamarinescarlet · 3 years

Text

Don’t give up just yet

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Word count: ~3.6k

Warnings: two curse word (I think), brief mentions of sex and cheating, angst (bare in mind these warnings don’t apply the way you think they do, you’ll have to read to understand)

Summary: The classic soulmate AU, sentences written on each other’s wrists, but with a twist.

Author’s note: This was basically an excuse for me to reinvent the soulmate AU with the wrist tattoos thing. It’s sorta angsty, but I just thought the ending was too funny. Just experimenting here, tell me what you think.

PSA: Dividers are the count down till the day: black is reader focused, red is wanda focused, gold/yellow is also reader focused, but I thought it deserved a little spark.

“You should call her, y’know.”

“Why would I do that? She made her point very clear.”

“It’s her wedding day, Y/N,” Mia reasoned, “and this fight was months ago, you have to get over it.”

You rolled your eyes at her insistence. This discussion has been happening every day for the past two weeks.

“I didn’t do anything wrong, why am I the one who should get over it?” You emphasized.

“He is her soulmate, and she is your sister, the least you could do is pretend.”

“Ugh,” you let out a guttural scream, “I can’t do this anymore Mia, I stand by what I said. That man is an asshole and this soulmate thing is stupid. I don’t trust him, no matter what the words on both their wrists say, and I’m not gonna watch her go down with this and not do anything about it.”

Mia didn’t respond, she knew she’d reached your last nerve. You watched as the woman left your office, sending a last sympathetic glance your way before walking into the hall.

Mia was right in some points, and you knew that. She was right about it being your sister’s wedding day and that you should be there to support her. She was wrong about you needing to be the one to apologize though. The way people manipulated their lives to fit this whole twisted Soulmate Theory made your blood boil.

The Soulmate Theory was quite simple: everyone was born with a sentence written on their wrists, popular belief is that those are the first words your soulmate will say to you. It was cute, and it worked most of the time, not for your sister though. Or at least you thought so.

Oli's soulmate was Isaac. They had met three years ago and eventually started dating. Oli was a firm believer of the Soulmate Theory and had never dated anyone before, so it was all new and exciting.

You started noticing the patterns roughly one year after they started dating. He was controlling her, discreetly, barely noticeable, but it was there.

First with clothes, Oli had made it a habit to always ask for his opinions on her clothing, and he would tell her he hated something, regardless of her telling him over and over again she had liked it. You made little comments here and there about his actions, mostly jokes but with some truth behind, she didn’t notice.

Second was friends, Isaac would always want to meet Oli’s friends, and if she went out with one he didn’t know he would make her feel guilty. You started giving more serious warnings, pointing out what he was doing more clearly, she didn’t care and called you crazy.

Third was her feelings, he had his mind set on what her role should be in his life. He praised Oli endlessly when she cooked or cleaned. Other than that, he didn’t care, didn’t pay attention to her stories, didn’t appreciate her paintings and drawings…

It got to the point where she wouldn’t want to paint anymore, when she was telling a story it would be without her usual excitement. Her smile no longer reached her eyes, she was constantly tired.

You confronted her about it, several times, but it was of no use. You’d point out the facts and she’d retort with ‘he is my soulmate, the universe bound us together, he wouldn’t do this to me!’

Three months ago was the last time you two talked. She told you he asked her hand. She knew you would be against it, she tried to ease you into the idea of her being with Isaac for the rest of her life. You weren’t having any of it.

After hours of screaming, arguing and loads of tears, she told you not to come to the wedding, and you said you wouldn’t.

It’s now four days from the date and you’re not going as long as he’s the one she’s marrying.

You stared at the words on your own wrist. ‘It’s you’. That sentence haunted you for years. What a stupid set of words for your soulmate to say.

As a kid you adored the Soulmate Theory, you paid meticulous attention to the first words you’d exchange with anyone, you made new friends nearly every day in hopes of hearing those words, but they never came.

Until they came. At first it was exhilarating, but the ones you said didn’t match the ones on the person’s wrist. You were extremely disappointed. And then you heard them again, and again, and again… It became almost routine. Every single person you met would say ‘it’s you’ or some variation of it.

You being who you are certainly didn’t help. During college you had started a tech company and now it had grown to be one of the biggest and most important in the field. The new inventions did win you several prizes and a lot of money. You were also stupid famous, being the young brilliant CEO and all.

Ever since, you gave up on looking for your soulmate. It seemed counter productive to get yourself all worked up just for it not to happen every single day. You made your peace with it, although a small part of you just wanted to meet said person.

The situation with Isaac and Oli helped. Seeing that it could end up hurting you made it easier to not fixate on finding your soulmate. Nonetheless, the desire was there; hidden, pushed to the back of your mind, but still there.

You just wished your sister could see it too, that the Soulmate Theory is not the solution to all her problems.

“Relax Steve, it’s all taken care of.”

“What about the flowers? Did you book the buffet? Did you check with the band? And the decorations? I saw some people didn’t RSVP yet, should I redo the seating charts?” Steve rambled on as Wanda just laughed.

“The flower problem is solved, the buffet confirmed, so did the band, the wedding planner is working on the decorations and redoing the whole seating chart seems… unnecessary, they still have three days to confirm their presence.” She reassured the man who was more stressed than her about the whole situation.

“Okay, sorry, I just want to make sure everything is perfect.” He huffed, taking a seat on the couch.

“It’s going to be perfect, don’t worry.” She couldn’t help the weirdness that surged upon uttering those words.

“How are you so calm?” Wanda just shrugged, not really sure how to answer.

Steve took a deep breath and gazed at the red head, offering her a smile.

“I’m going to sleep, all this wedding stuff has been stressing me all day.”

“Okay,” Steve made his way to his bedroom but she called him before he reached the hallway, “thanks for the help Rogers.”

“No worries.” He shot a last smile before disappearing.

Wanda found herself alone in the living room, the silence only making her thoughts scream louder.

She would be married in three days. It seemed unbelievable. After losing her parents, being experimented on at Hydra, fighting along Ultron, losing her brother and becoming an Avenger, she never thought she would have time to fall in love.

Yet, here she is. Although the feeling wasn’t quite what she thought it would be. It wasn’t exciting, or nerve racking. She felt no different than any other day of her life. Steve seemed like the one who was getting married, not her.

Vision is sweet and caring, she feels so happy around him. Then what is causing all these doubts to haunt her?

She knows what it is, she just doesn’t want to admit it.

Those words. Those stupid words painted forever on her wrist. ‘Don’t do this’. Ever since joining the Avengers she started using several bracelets to hide them, but they still burned on her skin every single day.

She’d heard of the Soulmate Theory at a very young age. Her parents had explained how those were the first words she’d hear from the love of her life. She would spend hours daydreaming all sorts of scenarios in which someone would say those words to her and they’d fall in love.

After her parent’s death, that stopped being her priority. At the Hydra base she’d only see her brother and a couple dozen different Hydra soldiers, too old and mean for a soulmate.

Gaining powers was a game changer. She was older then. Stronger. They finally allowed her and Pietro to leave the base and create chaos in Hydra’s name. “Do good” in Hydra’s name. She believed she was doing the right thing. She truly did.

Hearing her first ‘Don’t do this’ made her question everything. It came from a little kid nonetheless. A scared little kid. It must’ve been a mistake, she thought at the time. But that mistake happened, again, and again, and again…

When she joined the Avengers her eyes were opened to all the pain and terror she had caused. All the people she hurt. Then it dawned on her, what if one of those ‘Don’t do this’ came from her soulmate? What if she had hurt them, or worse, killed them?

The idea terrified her. So she hid those words on her wrist. A reminder of the evil she’s done and the love she’ll never have. She promised herself to never look for her soulmate, she already caused them enough pain, they didn’t deserve to get tangled in the mess that was her life.

And then Vision was created. Him and Wanda got along greatly. He made her happy. They fell in love, or at least that’s what Wanda told herself, that she fell in love with him. It was possible, there’s no rule on the Soulmate Theory that says you can only fall in love with your soulmate. Plus, Vision is not human, so he doesn’t have words written on his wrist, he doesn’t have a predestined soulmate, technically he doesn’t even have an actual soul for this sort of thing. They could be each other’s soulmate. A loophole on this stupid theory.

Why didn’t it feel like that though? Why was she questioning it so much? And why now? Three days before her wedding?

She took off the bracelets and stared at the ink, brushing her fingers lightly over it. She loved Vision, she affirmed to herself. She wants to marry him. This is what she wants. And she believes in these words, for a while. Long enough for her to fall asleep, turning off her brain from overthinking the situation too much.

Work has had you occupied all week. With back to back meetings and loads of paperwork to fill out, you’ve barely had time to think of anything else.

But now it seems like everything is done and you have more free time than you’d like.

You left the office early, not having much to do there anymore, and, instead of spending all afternoon home alone, you decided to go out for some coffee.

You were sitting on your usual table in the small coffee shop close to your place. It was calm, quiet and homely, a nice contrast between the places you frequent. The warm cup on your hands did nothing to distract you though.

The book you’d brought was long forgotten on the table as you glanced at your phone every few seconds. It’s two days till the wedding and, even though you tried not to think about it, you hoped your sister would text you saying she broke it off. It was unlikely, but wishing she could get some sense knocked into her wouldn’t kill.

You were so focused on your thoughts that you didn’t notice a woman glancing at you until you caught her trying to call your attention.

“It’s you!” She said, astonished, pointing to the cover of a magazine showing a picture of you.

Recognizing that issue as being a rather old one, you just nodded and offered the woman a friendly smile. She took that as an opportunity to approach you.

“Hi. Sorry,” she sounded excited and also nervous for bothering you, “I just wanted to say what an inspiration you are to women all around, to me especially. I’ve been opening my own business and seeing what you do has been such an encouragement to me. So, thank you!”

You were surprised by how nice she was. You’d expected her to ask you to invest in her business or something, like everyone who approaches you does, but she didn’t and it was a nice change of pace for once.

“What kind of business are you opening?” You asked. Listen to her talk would be a good distraction, plus, you could use the company.

“Oh, no, that’s ok,” she said, “I don’t want to bother you any further.”

“Please,” you urged, “I have the rest of my day off and I could use someone to talk to. Unless you’re busy, then I wouldn’t want to be a burden to you.” You laughed to ease the woman’s nerves.

“Sure?” You nodded and gestured to the empty seat across from you.

She accepted it and you spent at least an hour talking before she had to leave. It was a pleasant conversation, she praised your work but didn’t refrain from giving some interesting criticism on your business. The topic of an investment or a partnership never even came up.

It got your sister out of your mind for a while, although it didn’t last long.

Laying on your bed, your eyes fought to stay open, your mind swirling with all possible scenarios regarding Oli. She would be miserable if she went through with this, and you couldn’t do anything about it.

You love your sister, you care so much about her, but she refuses to listen to your warnings. You could swallow your pride and go to the wedding. You could try and support her. But that would just make an accomplice to her stupidity and you’re not going to just stand there and pretend that that’s ok.

You thought about texting her, way too many times. But your relationship is already rocky as it is, the least you could do is hope she gets some clarity on her own.

One day till the wedding. She’s 24 hours away from the happiest day of her life. Why is it, then, that Wanda doesn’t feel as happy as she should be.

She didn’t have to fake a smile, she was happy, but that smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.

None of the others seemed to notice it. They just thought it was the nervousness of having everything set so the day could run smoothly. Vision even brought up the possibility of her having cold feet about it, but she denied it thoroughly, assuring him she wanted this.

And she does. She wants to get married, have kids and build up a family of her own. She wants it all.

It still seemed weird though. Like something was off.

“Steve just called,” Nat interrupted her thoughts, walking back into the room, “everything is set, prepped and organized for tomorrow.”

“Let’s try on the dress then.” Carol urged the girl to put on the piece of clothing for the millionth time.

It did her justice. Slim at the top and flowy at the bottom, accentuating all her curves perfectly. It wasn’t big and puffy but light and delicate. She smiled at her own reflection as the other women crammed around her to take a look.

“You look beautiful.” Pepper said in awe.

“She does, doesn’t she.” Laura agreed, even though she’s the one that helped her choose it.

Wanda didn’t say anything, just smiling and appreciating her own image, excitement growing on her chest from wearing it in front of everyone the next day.

The girls spent hours planning how they would do her hair and makeup. There were so many ideas, disagreements and arguments that Wanda was completely drained by the end of the day. She was happy though, to see her friends being there for her, eager to help and make sure everything was perfect.

It was nice to have people around since she lost so much throughout the years.

After the women were gone and she found herself alone, Wanda’s thoughts from the beginning of the day came back, hitting her like a train.

Was she really more excited about wearing a dress than about getting married? Was this a sign of her actually getting cold feet?

She shrugged them away, affirming to herself these are just stupid uncertanties people always get before their wedding day. At least that’s what happens in movies, so nothing to worry about... right?

Thankfully your work slump had subsided as now a gigantic pile of papers sat on your table. Some contracts had to be restructured and a set of stores had to be chosen to distribute your newest technology.

You thrived in that scenario, with countless reports and 2D drawings of the prototypes scattered about the room. Your mind was going a thousand miles a minute, seemingly unaware of the events that would take place later that day.

That peace, however, was short lived. Your brain short circuited for a second when you checked what had caused your phone to buzz.

Two voicemails.

From none other than Isaac.

It was right then that it dawned on you: Oli was marrying that asshole today. In only a couple of hours actually.

Before listening to the messages you started to record your phone screen, maybe he would try to threaten you or something and you could use that to convince Oli to break things off with him. It wouldn’t kill to be precautious.

The first one was sweet, although it almost made you gag, it was sent with good intentions. Isaac was asking you to go easy on Oli, regardless of your feelings towards him, you should be supportive of her and her decisions. Too pretentious for your liking, but sent with good intentions nonetheless.

The second one started awfully weird. Some muffled sounds, things you couldn’t quite make out. Until you heard a loud moan, your eyes going wide as you pushed your phone away from your face. Isn’t it technically ‘bad luck’ to see the bride on the wedding day? You didn’t have time to dwell on those thoughts as the voice on the phone started to moan each other’s names. The woman didn’t sound anything like Oli, because it wasn’t Oli. Isaac was cheating on your sister? And on their wedding day!?

Oh you weren’t about to just let that go. You stopped the recording, thanking your intuition, and quickly ringed Oli.

It rang once… twice… three times… and then voicemail. You tried at least four more times until you figured she just didn’t want to talk to you.

“Marie can you come in here please?” You called your secretary.

A few seconds later she popped her head inside your office.

“How can I help?”

“Can I use your phone!?” You sounded more exasperated than you wished.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to call your sister today?” Damn, that woman knows you too well. You sighed loudly.

“Please… I just…” You trailed off, sounding desperate this time around.

Thankfully Marie gave in and lent you her phone. You typed Oli’s number and rang it, several times, she didn’t pick up once. You were starting to get truly desperate now.

“Do you have the address?” You handed Marie her phone back.

“Here.” She handed you a piece of paper from her pocket.

It was on the other side of the city, at least a one hour drive. You quickly grabbed your coat, purse and phone, rushing out of the office, only being stopped by a hand wrapping around your wrist.

“Don’t do anything stupid.” You gave her a reassuring smile and a quick nod before making your way to your car. Marie has been working with you since the beginning, she always knew when you were up to nothing good. She also knew that when you set your mind to something, there was no stopping you.

The drive was excruciating. You kept making stupid mistakes and taking wrong turns. Everything seemed to work against you, being it: accidents, red lights, slow drivers, pedestrians. Even the birds chirping around were pissing you off.

You finally reached the venue and stopped the car messily in the front entrance. You quickly ran up the stairs, and almost tripped and fell when you heard the officiant was already performing the ceremony.

You reached the doors and yanked them open, hopefully interrupting the wedding before it was too late.

“Don’t do this!” You screamed at the top of your lungs, nearly breathless.

The guests all turned towards you, surprised. So did the couple on the podium.

Except those people weren’t Oli and Isaac. You recognized them, Vision and Scarlet Witch, or at least that’s the names they went for on television. You’ve seen them before, doing business with Stark had its perks, but had never been introduced.

You could’ve felt bad, but your stomach was a turmoil of faith and nausea. You were either really early or really late to stop Oli.

“Sorry,” you said, trying to catch your breath, “wrong wedding, carry on.” You turned around to leave, but not before noticing the bride glancing at her own wrist.

You didn’t get the chance to take a single step out the door before her voice filled the silence that had settled.

“It’s you.” You stopped dead on your tracks. Your wrist burning slightly, not the kind of pain to cause discomfort, just enough to be noticeable.

Those words.

Her looking at her wrist.

Your’s burning now.

You turned back around, earning all kinds of confused glances from the guests. Your eyes fell on the woman, a smirk plastered on your lips.

“Seems like this isn’t the wrong wedding after all.”

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #mcu #marvel #reader insert #wanda maximoff imagine #soulmate au

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accidental-host · 2 years

Note

Since Dark Choco has gotten his arc started, do you think any of the Cookies of Darkness could be considered irredeemable or anything? I think from both games we have Pomegranate, Licorice, Chess Choco (Earl Grey by association...?), Lobster, Poison Mushroom, Red Velvet, & Strawberry Crepe. Did I miss anyone?

This is going to be a lot, but not really a whole properly formatted essay so no fancy banner. I just wanna ramble but I’ll put it under a readmore anyway

Truly and genuinely, I think nearly every member of the dark squad COULD be redeemed. Some would be easier than others, but I can at least mostly see how it would work for any of them so I’ll go down the ol’ list here

Pomegranate:

• I will be honest. I didn’t pay very close attention to the event that revealed more about her and Starfruit.

• But I do think she would most likely be the hardest to redeem just because of how fiercely loyal she is to Enchantress. It would be difficult to find a way to make it actually natural for her character to be able to let go of that loyalty. I think it COULD be done, but I would need to read up more on that event to go into any more detail here.

Licorice:

• Lico is a VERY good candidate for a redemption arc, but something would need to happen. He wants recognition for his magical efforts and hard work, and Enchantress was the only one who ever provided that. He would need an alternative that he considers better, which may be challenging because he does seem to enjoy being a villain.

• The first thing to come to mind is him meeting other esteemed magic users. Espresso, Latte, and Blueberry Pie would all work. If any of them liked his magic I think it would be huge for him, because part of the reason he’s with Enchantress is just because he never thought this would happen, he thought she was his only shot at ever being appreciated.

• Alongside this, he’d need to actually think that this is BETTER than his current alignment with the dark squad. Which I think could be possible, if he makes some magic friends and gets really invested in their spells as well as them being interested in his, a genuinely positive environment would make him realize how toxic being with Enchantress has always been. Even though being a villain was cool, having actual friends and being happy sure feels a lot nicer in the long run.

Poison Mushroom:

• Poison Mushroom already doesn’t have a lot going on so this one is going to be short. But I think it would be beneficial for both of them if they went with Licorice when he left to go have actual friends, PM has always been close with him so it would be a satisfying resolution if they stuck together. Joint redemption arc, two birds with one stone.

Strawberry Crepe:

• Strawberry Crepe I think can be redeemed EASILY. They are loyal to Enchantress of course, they’ve said it themself, but they’re also a child. A child that has been HEAVILY manipulated, they are not loyal to Enchantress by their own free uninfluenced will.

• What they need is a parental figure/mentor figure, an actual healthy one. Enchantress found them when they were a terrified little kid, fearing being alone and left behind more than anything, and all of that is still true no matter how much Enchantress lets them use their fancy robots to attack people for fun or whatever the fuck she lets them do.

• They need guidance, and someone to actually raise them properly. And this could be MANY different characters. I personally have imagined a lot of them having a brotherly relationship with Red Velvet, but I think it would be really interesting if another ancient found them and took care of them a whole lot better. Would be a good extra Fuck You to Enchantress too.

Red Velvet:

• Red Velvet’s situation is interesting, because it’s a combination of Licorice’s and Strawberry Crepe’s. However, I don’t want to go into too much detail here because I actually REALLY want to write an essay post about an entire redemption arc for him soon like I said in the last ask I answered. So you’re gonna have to wait until then to get the juicy details on him.

Chess Twins and Earl Grey:

• This one is like… VERY solvable. The Chess Twins want to find Dark Choco, they go find Dark Choco, he’s not with Enchantress anymore and doesn’t want them to be either. They go back home, get raised properly by their cool gay dad Earl Grey, and then we’re all good.

• I’m sure it could get a lot more complicated, but Yeah it could literally just be that. Problem solved.

Lobster:

• This is unfortunate, but I also didn’t pay much attention to his story with Mocha Ray. I have no idea what’s going on there. I think Sugarteara was destroyed and he’s super bummed about it?? And I’m like 90% sure his pet is the actually evil one here and it’s the one manipulating him. So just like… idk get rid of that little anglerfish fucker. Go to therapy. Get a hobby. Thrive.

• He was released mid 2020, which means I was playing Animal Crossing for about twelve hours a day at the time instead of keeping up with Cookie Run quite as hard. I do not control the hyperfixation sorry

I do think that’s all of them that are still actively working for Enchantress. I know Matcha has some ties here but her connections no longer exist and she isn’t in the dark squad currently so I’m not counting her.

I think OVERALL, the ones I can most easily see being redeemed in an actually interesting way are Licorice and Red Velvet. Those are the ones where I think it would be emotionally impactful enough for a whole event, would make sense, and would be cool as shit. This was a super interesting ask, thank you

#asks #cookie run #cookie run kingdom #cookie run ovenbreak #pomegranate cookie #licorice cookie #poison mushroom cookie #strawberry crepe cookie #red velvet cookie #chess choco cookie #earl grey cookie #lobster cookie

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yourtamaki · 3 years

Text

history doesn’t repeat, it rhymes

sakusa x gn!reader

word count: 4.1k

warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, elements of depersonalization, non-explicit mentions of sex

dedicated to: @onyxoverride (thank you for beta reading) & @saintdabi

you can’t remember the last time you saw your reflection.

it wasn’t deliberate, the way you turned your back to the full length mirror in your closet every morning when you got dressed, how you usually dodged your reflection coming out of the shower like you did just now. at least, not at first. not until you realized how much better you felt now that you didn’t have to come face to face with a stranger everyday. that was the only word to describe whatever lived in the mirror. a stranger. any recognizable part of you had rotted away long ago. all that remained now was an empty husk with dead eyes and a selfish heart. the same selfish heart that set you on this path in the first place.

was it worth it? you wanted to ask your past self. was his love worth what you did to yourself?

the very first night you met sakusa set the tone for the rest of your relationship. you’re still not entirely sure why you accepted your roommate, hinata’s, invitation to his team’s party to celebrate their record win streak. it probably had something to do with the puppy dog eyes he threw you. regardless, you went, wearing an outfit you were losing confidence in by the second and leaning against a wall as far from the drunk crowd as you could get. you never liked parties like this. too many people, too loud. but for your best friend, you were willing to grit your teeth and bare it.

a part of you, larger than you would ever admit, wishes you never looked to your left that day. wishes that you never spotted the curly haired man looking so sullen despite half his face being covered with a mask, that you didn’t notice the way his eyes flickered from his empty red cup to where you knew the kitchen to be, how he wearily eyed the crowd of people that separated him from it.

“i was about to grab a drink. i can bring something back for you if you’d like?” the first thing you ever said to the love of your life was a lie. you were planning on staying tucked in your corner all night, safe from the dancing drunks who had no concept of personal space until hinata was ready to leave. and yet the words were almost ripped out of you the moment your eyes landed on him, a fierce need to help the man flaring up from nowhere. you could only assume he had separated himself from the party for the same reason you had and it pulled on your heartstrings. no one ever noticed when you needed help so why not extend that courtesy to him instead? he blinked at you as though he had to process your offer before he nodded.

“yes, please i’d appreciate it.” his voice was different than you expected it to be. slow and calm despite the way his fist clenched and unclenched. “just water. a closed bottle if you can find it.”

his brows furrowed for a moment when you held out your hand before letting out a quiet ah and handing you his empty cup. it was endearing how he placed it in your hand, balancing it carefully on your palm.

“be right back.” you shot him a smile and started to make your way across the floor, getting pushed and jostled the entire way there. you made quick work of tossing the garbage into the overflowing trash bag and dug out two water bottles from behind a rack of beer cans in the fridge. the trip back was no easier and you breathed a sigh of relief when you were once again in your small private bubble with the man. the discomfort you endured, the skin crawling sensation of all those bodies too close to you was worth the way his eyes lit up when he saw you’d returned.

he accepted the cool bottle with a murmured thanks, pulling his mask down and tucking it under his chin. handsome was your first thought and his name was your second. the two distinct moles on his brow should’ve given it away that you were talking to sakusa kiyoomi. you’d seen enough of hinata’s games, heard enough stories to put a name to the face. he held your stare as you placed him in your mind, taking a sip from the bottle as he did. an urge to say something, anything to keep those eyes on you bubbled up hot and fast and you said the first thing that came to mind.

“my roommate’s your teammate.”

“is he? which one?”

“hinata. shoyo.” you added as though there was another hinata on the msby roster.

“ah. my condolences.” the corner of his lips quirked up when you snorted. “i’ve seen how he leaves a locker room. i don’t want to imagine what his room looks like.”

“it’s not pretty, that’s for sure.” you said, leaning your shoulder against the wall and taking a moment to regard him. “can i ask why you’re here? shoyo told me you don’t like crowds so a party must be hard on you.”

“would you believe me if i said contractual obligations?”

“nope cause i helped shoyo go through his contract and i don’t remember ragers being a part of the deal.” a small burst of pride bloomed in your chest when he laughed, a quick huff from his nose and amused eyes as though he didn’t expect it.

“you got me.” you waited for him to explain and deflated a bit when he remained silent. that is, until you followed where his eyes had wandered. it was easy to spot hinata from across the party. he sat high above the rest of the crowd on bokuto’s shoulders, leaning back occasionally to test bokuto’s reaction time and giggling every time he was caught at the last moment. meian was trying in vain to pull the ginger down while atsumu seemed to be on facetime with someone recording the whole thing, his loud laughter ringing out clearly over the music.

“you’re here for them?” you said just as the realization dawned on you. sakusa twitched, so small you wouldn’t have noticed if you hadn’t been watching him so closely.

“spending time with your teammates promotes better gameplay on the court.”

“i’m sure it does. but wanting to hang out with your friends isn’t a crime.”

“we are hanging out. i’m here, aren’t i? if they wanted to talk to me, they know where to find me.” the bitterness in his tone wasn’t enough to mask the acceptance behind his words, of being resigned to his fate as the forgotten one.

“well, i found you.” he looked over at you, something unreadable swimming behind his eyes before they softened.

“yeah. you did. you know, you’ve talked a lot about shoyo but i don’t know anything about you. i don’t even know your name.” he said. heat raced to your cheeks, flustered that he seemed to be paying as much attention to you that you were to him.

“i didn’t even notice, sorry.” you said before offering your name. he repeated it back, once, twice, rolling it around on his tongue and you watched his mouth, mesmerized by how it curled around a word you’ve heard your whole life until it sounded new again. he spoke your name in a soft, hushed whisper and you wondered if his lips would feel just as soft. half-lidded, his gaze flickered downwards like he was wondering the same thing.

the rest of the night was a blur in your mind. all you could recall was that you chatted with sakusa until the others found you and you drove a passed-out hinata home with a new contact saved to your phone.

the reminiscing left you drained, clutching your phone in your hands, the screen frozen on that same contact as you collapsed into bed and yet you couldn’t stop the rest of the memories from flooding through your mind, the truth you’ve been holding off for too long. you’ve picked at a festering wound that was best left alone. if you didn’t think too hard about it, if you ignored how it grew and ate away at you, it wouldn’t hurt as much. right? but it was too late. you’ve pulled the string and now you’re left to deal with your own unraveling.

you scrolled through your texts for what feels like a lifetime, the entirety of your relationship flashing by and disappearing in an instant until you could scroll no higher. of course you sent the first text. a formal message that didn’t look anything like how you actually text with one too many exclamation points in your desperation to come across friendly.

your fingers moved across the screen and when your mind caught up, your thumb was hovering over the button to delete the entire conversation. you never wanted to see evidence of who you used to be ever again. you didn’t want to be reminded of the person you cut and broke and killed until they fit into sakusa’s neat life. but sentimentality stilled your hand, the phone dropping from your limp fingers and crashing to the floor. you didn’t bother reaching for it.

the accursed memories refuse to let you be, another bobbing up to the surface from the murky depths and pulling you under before you could stop it. one that showed what little agency you had in your own life.

it started the way it always did. you noticed him. noticed how tired he was every time you spoke. how you went from going out on dates to always staying in to maybe being lucky enough to say good night over the phone before he crashed for the day. and sure, you were lonely. so starved for him it ached. but that was overshadowed by your worry for him. you would lay awake wondering if he’d remember to eat that day, if he had the energy to clean his apartment and if he didn’t, how much was that adding to his stress?

so you swung by his place the next morning after he had left for practice, spent the day cleaning, restocked his fridge and were nearly done making dinner when he returned. his exhaustion was truly hammered home when he walked straight past the kitchen on autopilot before doubling back, tilting his head at you in confusion.

“what are you doing here, darling?”

“helping out.” you turned back to the stove and busied yourself with mindless stirring, afraid that you’d been too eager and overstepped. “you seemed pretty tired these days so i wanted to do something for you but you’re back earlier than i expected so i can just go if you want to be alone just let me-”

your rambling was cut off when a force barrelled into you and sakusa hugged you tight from behind, head buried in the crook of your shoulder. all at once, whatever anxiety had been growing fled you and you relaxed into his touch.

“thank you.” it wasn’t the words that made your heart leap to your throat. it was the sincerity, the slight crack at the end that told you he had more he wanted to say but didn’t know how.

you fell into a routine of going over to his apartment, looking after things, kissing him when he returned and staying over at night. at first, it was once a week. then over the weekend, then every other day.

“you should move in.” even though you half expected your relationship to take this next step, it still took you by surprise the casual way sakusa brought it up. you weren’t entirely sure if you wanted to move in with him just yet. you built a home with hinata and that apartment meant everything to you, all your happiest memories were made there and oh no sakusa was still waiting for an answer.

“i should?”

“yeah.”

and that was the end of it. you were packed and out of hinata’s apartment (because it was his now. his and atsumu’s. not yours, it’ll never be yours again) by the end of the month. most of your things didn’t come with you but that was fine, right? so what if you still felt like a guest in your home even to this day with none of yourself being reflected in the apartment? you got to wake up to see the love of your life every day and that made everything worth it.

until you started waking up alone.

extra training, he said. the team drafted new players and he had to get used to their play style, he said. and you believed him, trusted that he’d be home with you if he could. so you took the crushing loneliness and swallowed it down like a bitter pill. you smiled wide when he came home late with only the moon to light your bedroom and let him use your body to rid the stress of the day.

the dead of night was the only time you’d have him all to yourself. you could be greedy for his attention when he was buried inside you. it was easy to pretend you clawed up and down his back because you were caught up in the moment and not because you were desperate to keep him close to you. easy to pretend the tears in your eyes were from pleasure and not from how much you missed his voice.

and when he was empty and spent, you would stroke his hair until he fell asleep and then, only then, would you whisper all the things you couldn’t tell him during the day. small, meaningless anecdotes that you knew would earn you a wry smile if he was awake to hear them, the one he used when he didn’t want to let on how close he was to laughing. the stolen moments were a salve on your fractured heart but it was never enough to heal it. in the end, when you were once again alone in your too-wide bed, it only served to remind you just how deep the cracks were.

maybe that’s where you went wrong. you gave away your heart to someone and got nothing in return, nothing to plug up the all-consuming void in your chest. there was nothing left of you. no, that wasn’t quite true. there was nothing good left of you. you gave him your best parts and all you had now was pure resentment that burned hot and fierce in your core, so acidic it ate everything in its path. it burned away the dredges of your soul until all you could do was allow it to climb up and scorch your throat in a silent scream.

another memory. it’s strange what your brain chose to latch onto as you spiralled. on the surface, you remember this to be a happier time. but as it overtook you, you’re reminded almost violently that the edges of this memory are stained with the early decay of your identity.

before the early mornings and late nights, before you got into the habit of staring at your ceiling and wondering how you got to that point, you and sakusa had a tradition. you’d both find something, a story, a movie, that you think the other doesn’t know and share it with them. that day sakusa came to you with the myth of orpheus and eurydice.

he told you the story of a man so in love with his wife he journeys to the underworld after she dies to find her, how hades tells him he can guide her to the land of the living but orpheus must trust that eurydice is following him. if he turns around, eurydice’s fate is sealed. sakusa explained how in every version of the myth, orpheus turned around at the very end out of an uncontrollable, unfiltered love for his wife. whether it was because he was excited to see the end of the tunnel and wanted to share his joy with her or because he feared she got lost, either one stems from the love he has for her. the love that sent him to find her is the same love that doomed her in the end. but the more sakusa spoke about orpheus, the more you wondered about the other protagonist of the story.

“why didn’t eurydice try to let orpheus know she was there? she could’ve held his hand or touched his back or something.” you asked. you were laying your head on sakusa’s chest, letting the low rumble wash over you as he read you the tale. the question had been bugging you as the story came to its conclusion though you couldn’t place your finger as to why.

“she was a spirit. she would pass right through him.”

“yeah but…” you searched for the words to explain your confusion. “she didn’t even try.”

“it wouldn’t have mattered either way.”

you opened your mouth to press the issue further, too stubborn to let it go just yet when you heard sakusa sigh out of his nose. it was enough for any question to die on your tongue and all that came out was a quiet, “i guess so.”

it was a nothing memory. an empty thing to remind you of better times that you’ve had no need to look back on. so why did that moment swirl around your head now, as you crumbled in your lowest moments? scattered pieces start to form together in the recesses of your mind but before you could call them forth to make a full image, the bedroom door swung open and sakusa walked in.

for once, you don’t slip on your well worn porcelain mask. you don’t school your expression and force it to mold into something that couldn’t quite be called happy. instead, you sat up straight in bed, held his gaze and did nothing to hide the maelstrom of hurt that raged inside you. a sick satisfaction shot through your veins when his steps faltered at the force of your stare.

“what’s wrong?” he asked.

what isn’t? you thought but instead said, “nothing. i was just thinking. about us.”

“oh.” his eyes are already sliding away from you, a quiet detachment in his voice that made you grind your teeth in frustration.

“remember that greek story you told me about?”

“mhmm.”

“tell me again why eurydice didn’t reach out.” there it is again. a short, sharp exhale from his nose. he opened his mouth but you spoke before he could. “humour me.”

“she was dead, darling. she couldn’t touch him, he couldn’t hear her so there was no point.”

“no point? there was no point in trying to tell orpheus that she was behind him? he climbed into the underworld for her and she couldn’t try?”

“could you--?” he cut himself off and pinched the bridge of his nose. “it’s late. i’m exhausted and really not in the mood so can we go to bed?”

“doesn’t that sound familiar?” you continued as though he hadn’t spoken. “one person bending heaven and hell for the person they love while the other can’t even meet them halfway. remind you of anything?”

now you had his full attention. his brows scrunched together and you’re not sure if he’s trying to figure out the meaning behind your words or the reason for your hostile tone. you don’t feel like helping him out either and instead watched the gears turn in his head with something akin to glee. it’s his turn to be paranoid, to overthink, to pick apart every moment of your relationship and dissect it piece by rotted piece.

“please don’t be vague. if you’re upset with me, tell me.” it was the most emotion you’ve heard from him in so long, you were taken aback for a moment.

“i’m a bit past ‘upset’, omi.”

“i’m sorry.”

you scoffed. “you don’t even know what you’re apologizing for.”

“you’re hurt and it’s my fault. that's enough for me to say sorry.”

“you don’t understand.” he crossed the room in three large strides, sitting on the edge of the bed to leave space between you.

“then help me understand.”

you floundered for the right words to explain the mountain of revelations you’ve uncovered and settled for, “how do i take my coffee, kiyoomi?”

he took your use of his full name in stride. “black. one sugar.”

“no that’s how you take your coffee. that’s the only way you ever make coffee. i had to learn to like it.”

“what, you’re mad i don’t know how you like your coffee?” you know he didn’t mean anything by it, that’s he's always been more blunt that he means to be but it doesn’t stop you from feeling patronized and the hurt loosened your tongue.

“it’s not about the coffee! it’s not about the fact that eurydice was a ghost. it’s the effort, omi. you haven’t put an ounce of effort into this relationship. i’m the one who has to bend. i’m the one that has to change, it’s never you.”

“i never asked you to.” the truth of the statement knocked the air out of your lungs. because that's the worst part, isn’t it? you have no one to blame your misery on but yourself.

“i don’t know how to love you without sacrificing pieces of myself. and i’m empty, kiyoomi, i've given you all of me. and it feels like you’ve given me nothing in return.”

his head was bowed while he listened but from how tight he laced his fingers together, you know he was fighting to stay calm. “you know i love you, right?”

“do you? do you love me or love that i’m convenient? love that i clean your place and make you food and have a hole you can--”

“stop.” you didn’t know it was possible for so much heartbreak to be packed into a single word. it sobered you of your venom and in its place, shame came rushing in.

“i’m sorry. i'm pissed at myself for letting it get this far and i’m taking it out on you. i don’t regret loving you. but it feels like that’s the only thing living inside me. like i’m not even a person anymore.”

“i should’ve noticed. it shouldn’t have taken you snapping for me to realize what was going on.”

“maybe.”

silence, suffocating silence, stretched and morphed time until it felt like you’ve aged a decade in a moment. and then sakusa spoke.

“you’ll help a stranger just because they look like they might need it and ask for nothing in return. you’ll make someone food just so you can be sure they ate that day. you’ll tell me about your day while i fall asleep and i don’t think i could sleep without hearing your voice. you’re kind and too selfless for your own good and the best person i’ve ever met. it kills me that i’ve been the cause of your pain.”

it was strange hearing those traits spun in a good light when you’ve thought of them negatively for so long. strange knowing where you saw faults he saw things worth admiring. “you hear me at night?”

“and you like focusing on minor details. yes, darling. every night.”

“oh.”

“i understand if you need… space, if you want to spend some time apart. but give me a chance. please. give me a chance to prove how important you are to me. i’m sorry that i’ve failed you. i’m sorry i've been taking you for granted. but that ends now. never again.

“and i can help you, too. i can remind you of all the parts you say you’ve lost. i’ll tell you all about the person i fell in love with everyday if you need it. i’d never run out of things to say. please. you found me once, let me return the favour and help you find yourself. if-if you’ll have me.”

his small speech wasn’t the reason tears stung the back of your eyes. as he finished speaking, sakusa reached out across the space between you and offered you his hand. a lifeline that you took, the lump in your throat to keeping everything you wanted to say stuck inside you. thankfully, you needed no words for sakusa to understand you. he brought your joined fingers to his lips and let out a shaky breath against them. the two of you stayed like that for a small eternity, drifted apart yet holding together with a bridge to link you. you’ve been fueled by resentment and anger for so long, you weren’t sure if you were strong enough to let them go. but you did know that you didn’t want to try without him by your side.

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