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f1smutwriter · 3 days
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Hi tis me again
I feel awkward with all the request. I'm just obsessed with f1 rn.
Pierre learning to do your acrylic nails so he can spend more time with you during the f1 season.
This guy's love language is acts of service and quality time
Chilling in the hotel in pajamas drinking wine and sushi getting your nails done by pierre gloating about your man on socials like "your bf could never but here's what mine does." Maybe he gets teased about ut by the other drivers but who cares he bagged a bad bitch and he's in love.
Almond shape but otherwise what ever is fine.
| 𝐌𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐧 (𝐩𝐠𝟏𝟎)
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𝐏𝐢𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐚𝐬𝐥𝐲 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Pierre the perfect boyfriend anyone could ask for. He adores his girlfriend and treats her like the princess she is. So he learned to do nails just for his princess
Warnings: nothing just some tea and cursing
Notes: Gosh these Pierre fics you request gosh I love them. Like these are my favorite things to write when the guy just does something to spend time with you. This is my first time doing the Instagram thing on tumblr but I do them all the time on Wattpad so if you don’t like it just let me know and I’ll change it for you girl. Hope you love it!
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“Ma chérie you ready” he called out for me as I come out of the bathroom with a smile. “Hi handsome” I smiled kissing his lips softly as I sit down on the bed so he can paint my toes. “I learned this cool new thing. Best thing ever” he smiled as he rubbed my feet softly making me sigh feeling more relaxed.
“Handsome I don’t know why you do this, you don’t have to” I whispered softly making her chuckle softly. “Mon cœur I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t want to” he smiled softly kissing my leg making me shiver softly. “I get to spend more time with you, plus I want to pamper my girl” He smiled making me blush from his words.
“Why do you have to be so perfect all the time” I mumbled before he snorts causing me to laugh with him. “You know what sounds amazing right now” I whispered softly as he looks up at me. “Why are you whispering” he laughed making me kick him softly. “Sushi and wine” I groaned softly craving both of them. “Want me to order us sushi and wine” he asked softly making me nod frantically. He goes over to the phone and orders room service.
“Coming in about 30 minutes” he said softly making me squeal. “thank you baby” I whispered kissing him feeling him grab my waist to kiss me back softly. “Gosh you have no idea how in love I am with you” he whispered kissing my neck softly. “Let’s get back to your nails before I take you right here right now” he said sitting me down on my chair while he paints my nails.
˚。⋆ ୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆ ˚。⋆ ୨♡୧⋆ ˚。
yourusername
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Liked by pierregasly, and 1,000,000 others
yourusername: get you man who does all this for you, and his excuse to do all this was. “Amour I need to pamper you”
Tagged: pierregasly
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charles_leclerc: this needed to stay in the drafts
yourusername: someone is mad I took their man
charles_leclerc: mad your always second place 🤷‍♀️
yourusername: really because last time I checked I’m first place babes 😙
pierregasly: my pretty girl I love you ❤️
yourusername: I love you more handsome
User: Charles hate to break it to you but your second
charles_leclerc: I know :(
alexandrasaintmleux: oh for Charles to do this for me
yourusername: you don’t need Charles babe you have me 😉
charles_leclerc: back up bitch or we fight
yourusername: I’m slashing all your tyres
carlossainz55: NO please don’t we need to win
yourusername: oh well bye bye Ferrari
lilymhe: the fact I’ve been stalking your page
yourusername: babe stalk my page all you want
alexalbon: not only are you stealing my girl but Charles girl to
yourusername: I’m after all the wags my master plan
lilymhe: tbh I’d let her take me
alexalbon: 😣
maxverstappen1: he’s lowkey whipped for you
yourusername: yes he is and guess what I love it
pierregasly: I am she gives good head 💁‍♂️
yourusername: 😧
pierregasly: it had to be said Mon amour I’m sorry
User: I want a guy to treat me like this
User: me to they make me feel so single
˚。⋆ ୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆ ˚。⋆ ୨♡୧⋆ ˚。
“Mon amour you posted me” Pierre asked shaking his head making me giggle. “Yes I had to baby, had to show everyone who my man was” I smiled before he grabbed me putting me on his lap. He started kissing my neck softly, feeling myself let out a small whimper. “I love you so much you have no idea baby” he whispered softly in my ear making me blush. “I love you more handsome” I smile before he kissed my head softly. “I love you the most princess” He whispered going back to kissing my neck.
˚。⋆ ୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆⋆ ˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆ ˚。⋆ ୨♡୧⋆ ˚。
Pierre just got on the paddock now walking towards his garage to look at the car, but he got stopped by one of his best friends. “Bro painting her nails and all of that your whipped mate” Charles snorted before laughing at him. “Why am I whipped because I love my girl” He smiled at Charles before Charles shakes his head.
“I do it because I don’t spend time with her I’m always away, so it gives us some time together” Pierre explained making Charles let out a small smile. “It’s nice to see you like this man, all in love and everything” Charles commented as Pierre feels his cheeks get red. “Me in love what about you and Alex I see how you guys are with each other” Pierre laughed softly now making Charles blush a bit. “Look at us two blushing fools” Charles snorted making them both laugh out.
“Who would have thought” Pierre laughed softly as they both walk down the paddock.
“Who would have thought” Charles smiled softly
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Notes: I’m sorry this was short but I kinda was running out of things to say. I hope you guys liked it, and please send more requests I beg you.
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fierceawakening · 1 day
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So this post is going to be a bit rough and rambly but… I don’t know how we put this genie back in the box.
Do any of you remember when I’d freshly left the abusive relationship I was in and I read VORACIOUSLY, trying to figure out how I’d been taken in by such an awful person? (I vividly remember telling my dad about her saying I’m sure I’m gay because on my previous relationships with men I never thought I was in love, but this was so intense… well. I still wasn’t sure but I wondered if it might be.)
I read stuff like Why Does He Do That? and I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me. I also read things like The Sociopath Next Door and one of Hare’s books on psychopathy. I’m pretty sure my ex just had BPD, and I hasten to say even there that I have known many other people with BPD who I emphatically don’t think would treat me the way she did. I was trying to make sense of her, not trying to condemn anyone with a label I don’t have. (There are prosocial psychopaths, too.)
Mostly I was trying to make sense of her lack of remorse. She presented it as sexy and exciting—oh no, I don’t ever worry about taking kink too far, I don’t care what people think of me, I never give someone who wronged me a second chance.
I now see these as huge red flags and worried about them even then, but I tend to be someone who obsesses over whether I’m giving people a fair shake, so the idea of getting with her sounded like a fun vacation from scrupulosity.
It was actually “surely the leopard won’t eat MY face,” but I didn’t see it then.
Anyway. Around that time I got into a lot of arguments with people here who felt that putting too much stock into those books was inherently ableist.
The things the books said about lack of empathy, about how someone who lacks empathy treats even close loved ones as objects of use and not as full people, resonated with how I’d been treated by someone who professed to care about me. But it ruffled HARD the feathers of people for whom “lacking empathy” just means “beepy boopy, but not uncaring.” I have no solution to this—I think they’re two different phenomena that unfortunately have the same name (on tumblr. Not sure they do offline.)
Any double way. One thing I kept coming across in that research was the specter of the sociopathic leader. A charismatic public figure who charms a whole community or nation, and once they do that, rule with an iron fist.
The appeal was eerily similar to why I’d latched on to such a gross girlfriend. “Don’t you ever just want to go ape shitt,” basically. What if you don’t have to care? What if you get to put yourself, your family, your tribe, America First?
Doesn’t that take a load off your mind?
Those weird leftists who don’t understand God or gender or American exceptionalism… what if you don’t have to understand them anyway?
What if all you have to do is win?
My books said THAT is why we should continue to think of sociopathy as bad and people who have it as predators. Not because human rights stop mattering if someone isn’t neurotypical but because the attitude is infectious.
A person who thinks that way by default, if they’re charismatic (and many are), can EASILY get someone who doesn’t think that way to start wondering why they bother with perspective taking and empathy and remorse anyway.
Dehumanization is a virus, and people like that are carriers. The more power they have in a society, the more virulent the strain.
Do most people eventually snap out of it? I mean I’d better think so, my sister in law is German.
But how long does it take?
That I don’t know. And that’s what makes me think Trump might win.
And why I continue to think fighting ableism is important but ALSO to think acting like empathy is superfluous is playing with fire.
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covidsafehotties · 3 days
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i saw your asks were open so i saw an opportunity to ask for some advice. please let me know if this question does not fit the type of questions you expect. i would love to be able to wear a mask in public to stop the spread of covid and to protect myself, but im afraid to ask my mom (im 15) if i can because she does not care much about my health or the health of others. im afraid of getting other people's blood on my hands, and im afraid of getting covid because im an asthmatic and my mom stopped paying for my insurance (thankfully im getting it back in a couple of days now thanks to my grandma. if you decide to answer this ask, thank you in advance. sorry if this seems like a lot to tell a tumblr blog.
I think you need to talk to someone else in your life about buying you masks or helping you take other precautions like air filtration, high rated filters for your home AC et al. maybe your grandma would be a good place to start. You should check out maskbloc.org too and see if there's an active group near you. They may have the resources to get you free masks.
In our fucked up society, we stress kids out like we do adults and then give them none of the relative freedom of choice able-bodied adults get with enough money. It's unfair and unkind and sensless and there's no easy way around it.
Also take some comfort in the fact that being tied to the decisions of your primary caretaker is not your fault. Parents are stupid. People are stupid. They don't think and they only want to be comfortable no matter what just in general. Admitting that they don't care about an ongoing plague is a fragile and misguided attempt to reach comfort, and that's part of why it's so hard to change their minds.
Tie that to the libertarian bs of not wanting to do things that help others on principle bestowed by capitalism, and you find yourself trapped in a bad situation as a minor. You don't have blood on your hands. If anyone does, it's our government and leaders who have mislead people like your mom into believing that sickness is health and harm is freedom.
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velvetvexations · 2 days
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(this is from yesterday so this entire thing is written out and just copy pasted in.)
The more I see how you've been treated by other trans people, the more hollow all the posts repeating variations of 'love all trans women! Listen to all trans women! Have kindness and grace for all trans women! Even the bad and ugly and annoying ones!' become to me.
One one hand, these posts almost without fail dissolve into active vitriol the moment someone (foolishly and naively) tries to mention any other kind of trans person, which the OPs often shut down and treat as insulting, hostile, nefarious or a deliberate attempt to take away (steal?) the kindness away from transfems (like it's a finite resource?)
On the other, I follow a lot more transfems than transmascs, meaning I got to see how some of them felt about it. The anecdote that lasered itself into my brain was seeing a butch trans woman saying she felt bitter and kinda hopeless sharing that kind of message because her experience was that not even other trans women had any kindness or grace for her.
And then how this has played out for you. You and another trans woman disagreed, and instead of saying 'you're annoying me and I disagree with your opinion' she presented you as misgendering her (it's apparently not enough that you use they/them by default to account for all the genderfuckery on Tumblr. How dare you not be clairvoyant.), she didn't care that you corrected yourself and told the person crawling out of the woodwork to talk shit about her to fuck off, she said you 'threatened to share' her nsfw account when you censored the url and told the anon to get lost, and blamed you for a shitstorm resulting from her saying something controversial.
Going further, you get that asshole demanding you 'give the URL of your transfem mutuals'. It reminds me of how everyone, including other transfems, were screaming at Tumblr's CEO to show 'proof' that predstrogen had said or done something worthy of being banned. And it's just... Does anyone hear themselves? Why is everyone okay demanding personal or potentially intimate information about transfems for the sake of 'proof?' Why do you have to hand off the URLs of people you know so some asshole can presumably judge them and dismiss them for not being good enough? Does no one else find it insane that it's okay to bulldoze transfem's privacy for the sake of 'proof'?
Is this why those positivity posts are so often structured like commands? So that everyone can nod their head and pat their backs self righteously for doing the 'right thing' of passing this command along to the unspecified OTHER meant to ACTUALLY work on treating transfems better? Did everyone press the reblog button to look good or something? I thought everyone, trans people included, agreed that the point was tangibly and personally putting in some effort to do better?
I always internalised those posts as a rallying cry to do better, all of us, but it seems like it's played out as an excuse for people to use personal pain to justify lashing out and pushing the DOING better part onto 'someone else'.
Yeah, like. So much of it just comes off as virtue signaling? I recently got accused of being an anti-SJW for using that term lol but that's an actual thing that actually happens. It's so performative. It's theory.
And it really does frustrate me that I can't take those posts seriously. Regardless of what anyone else thinks, I have serious chest thumping anxiety about the constant, terrifying situation we're all in. We as in "me as well". So I want to take comfort in those posts that are about how the OP will support trans women with their dying breath, I did take comfort in those posts, but then I look for five seconds on OP's blog and find ten posts about transandro bros and I want to never hear someone say they support me ever again because they're all fucking snakes and their support is completely worthless to me.
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butterflydm · 2 years
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wot reread: lord of chaos (chap 47-end)
For the first time, this book isn’t better than the one before it imo. I would currently rank them (strongest to weakest): The Fires of Heaven; Lord of Chaos; The Shadow Rising; The Dragon Reborn; The Great Hunt; Eye of the World. I’m not sure if any of the remaining books will be able to top TFoH for me tbh. We will find out!
spoilers for lord of chaos
1. Elayne tries to demand (in an icily royal way) that Mat lend her his ter’angreal against channeling each night so that she may study it. Mat pretends to be ignorant of anything she’s talking about to the point of driving her to complete frustration. Annoyed at him, and potentially trying to teach him ‘manners’ like she bragged to Egwene that she would, she inspects his men’s horses and gives him her opinions on how well he’s done, as if he were one of her men.
2. Important future note about Ebou Dar culture: “a woman killing a man was considered justified unless it was proven differently”. It’s also a culture that’s very big on dueling.
3. Anyway, for all that Mat has a lot of random gender essentialist thoughts (like pretty much everyone else, though his tend to come with more insults and colorful language) he doesn’t see any reason why Birgitte can’t be a Warder, which puts him one up on pretty much every Aes Sedai who meets her.
4. The Aes Sedai also start channeling at him (presumably trying to study the effects of the medallion since he won’t let them borrow it). On the fourth day, they figure out that they can use the Power to make other things hit him. Super classy, guys. After that happens, Mat goes and drinks until he can’t stand up (because the thing that he was using for protection has a loophole that makes it less effective). This is honestly such a shitty thing for them to be doing to him. (we find out in the next chapter that Adelas and Vandene were the ones doing all the channeling and, wow, it would have done wonders for Elayne and Nynaeve’s relationship with Mat if they had... you know, told him that, but I guess Aes Sedai secrecy/solidarity is why they did not)
5. I admit that Ebou Dar does sound like a beautiful city. Not wanting to stay in the palace (good instincts!) Mat picks an inn at random -- the Wandering Woman, run by a woman named Setalle Anan. And the dice in his head stop. I really wish he would pay more attention to this sort of thing, tbh, the dice and his luck. He always ends up regretting it later that he didn’t (or, rather, he always ends up going through regrettable things because he didn’t). I’m actually going to mark this as another potential place for an AU and see how well it maps out if Mat had listened to his magical intuition here.
6. Nynaeve and Elayne are frustrated because, despite Egwene raising them to full sisters, Vandene, Adelas, and the Aes Sedai here in Ebou Dar are all still treating them like Accepted. Ah, now that Elayne is officially Aes Sedai, she’s introducing Birgitte as her Warder to everyone. And we learn that the reason that Adelas and Vandene came to Ebou Dar was to look for “runaways” though Elayne and Nynaeve do not know more than that. Aviendha was amused by Mat before but has now decided that he’s ‘irritating’; that would be Nynaeve and Elayne’s influence, I assume. Ah, and we learn that Egwene had a ‘discussion’ with Birgitte and learned the truth about her.
7. Elayne and Nynaeve go off to meet Queen Tylin, while Birgitte and Aviendha start their search of the city. Also, as of this point in the books, Nynaeve is twenty-six and Elayne is eighteen. We learn that Elaida has sent an ‘embassy’ to Ebou Dar as well, with two Sisters -- Teslyn and Joline. And the Whitecloaks also have an embassy here, led by Carridin, who Nynaeve and Elayne remember from Tanchico.
8. After Tylin tells them two of them how perilous things are for her here, Elayne tells Tylin all about their search for a ter’angreal to fix the weather. Tylin gets more instant trust than almost any other character in the series! Nynaeve is as startled as I am, at least. Elayne did it out of queenly solidarity, it seems. “I know how my mother felt about Aes Sedai traveling about Andor, never letting her know what they were doing.” Elayne also bets Nynaeve that she can have Mat “knuckling his forehead” for her within ten days, and Nynaeve takes the bet. There’s nothing riding on the bet tho.
9. Min “brought up” her viewing about Perrin needing to stay next to Rand to save him twice in front of Perrin and Rand wishes that she hadn’t; he really wants Perrin to go to Tear to be the visible face of Rand’s distraction army but now that Perrin knows about Min’s viewing, he won’t agree to do it. But Perrin didn’t want to go to Tear even before he heard about Min’s viewing, so *shrug*. Perrin says “what I want hasn’t seemed to count much since the first time we saw Moiraine” like he didn’t just go on an entire side quest of his own even while his ta’veren sense was saying that he should stay with Rand.
10. Loial is back and he and Rand catch up a little. Rand lets him know that his mother, Elder Haman, and Erith are now in the Two Rivers, where Rand thought Loial was. Loial is in a panic over it, since he’s not ready to get married and settle down in a Stedding. When Rand suggest that maybe Loial can talk to the Elders of the various Steddings so that he can put guards on all the Waygates, Perrin  blows up on Rand, telling him that he’ll use anyone. Rand agrees but points out that he’s willing to use himself up as well.
11. Min arrives, frantic, to tell him that seven Aes Sedai are coming from the embassy (Rand has forbidden more than three at a time to enter the Inner City). She also punches him in this scene hard enough that she “made him grunt”. She’s spending way too much time with Faile. Can we just have ONE relationship without casual violence being a part of it? But because of Min’s warning, he is able to meet the Aes Sedai somewhat prepared (though very on edge due to Min’s viewing about Aes Sedai hurting him at some point in the future).
12. Demira speaks for the group and tells Rand that they have decided his restrictions for them are null and void; they will no longer follow them. Lews Therin is panicking in his head and argues that the situation is too dangerous and they need to strike first.
13. When Min gets back to the inn, she sees that two more Aes Sedai have arrived - Bera and Kiruna, the two that had been sent to the Aiel Waste to try to chase Rand so long enough. Which means there are now thirteen Sisters in Caemlyn, which is the number that Rand/LTT says means anyone, no matter how strong in the Power, would be helpless in front of. Panicked again, Min immediately leaves the inn to inform Rand. Bera and Kiruna both talk about how Rand must be “leashed” and “brought to heel”. And Min says that she’s sure these thirteen will hurt him; she’s talking out of her panic but Rand assumes it’s one of her ‘senses of absolute knowing’ that she gets about her viewings sometimes. And his flight here pretty much directly leads to him ending up in The Box (though I don’t think he ever thinks that through and asks Min to stop giving him vague ominous warnings about the future; but this does seem like a clear example of a self-fulfilling prophecy, where Min telling Rand about the viewing helped make it happen). Even without Min’s warning, he still might have panicked and fled, but it’s clear that his fear is considerably amped up by her viewing.
14. Rand tells Min that she will come with him for now but he will send her out of danger if it comes down to facing the Aes Sedai. She brandishes her daggers and refuses the idea. Brave but foolish, considering she has zero defenses against Aes Sedai (or Warders tbh; she’s spent a couple of months practicing daggers with Thom and that’s it; she would be dead in two seconds). He also collects Perrin and Faile to warn them. re: Perrin “he could not leave Perrin behind, and not because of any viewing; when Merana found Rand gone, one of them might well bond Perrin the way Alanna had him”.
15. So Rand is leaving for Cairhien with Min, Perrin, Faile, Loial, Gaul, Chiad, Bain, and Nandera with five hundred Maidens. I wonder if Chiad, Bain, and Gaul all feel like they don’t really fit in anymore due to having missed all the changes in Aiel society while they were in the Two Rivers. Sulin declares that she is coming as well. Everyone writes letters to leave to people, and the plot relevant ones are that Perrin tells the Two Rivers men to follow them to Cairhien, and Rand writes a warning to Taim about thirteen Aes Sedai and then a very harsh warning letter to Merana that he is going to Cairhien and she is allowed to follow with herself and no more than five other sisters, so that their embassy matches Elaida’s there. And Bera and Kiruna take firm control of the embassy.
16. Because it’s narratively convenient for Min’s presence never to be questioned by anyone from this point forward, the Wise Ones easily accept her as one of their own. Once I started noticing How Easy the narrative makes things for Min in her pursuit of Rand, it’s hard for me to stop noticing it lol. The Maidens let her walk in on Rand in his bath and wherever else she wants; the Wise Ones accept her as one of their own much more easily that we’ve seen them do with anyone else; no one expects her to become Aviendha’s first-sister and go through all the required trials before being romantic with Rand. She doesn’t need to try to adapt to Aiel culture in the slightest (as Elayne does), as all the Aiel are willing to bend over backwards for her instead, which is just... completely counter to how they behave in pretty much every other situation. All the obstacles that Elayne and Aviendha face in trying to be with Rand are completely non-existent for Rand and Min. But a big thing that draws me to pairings is their ability to OVERCOME those obstacles, so that’s probably a large part of why Rand x Min didn’t ever appeal to me as much as Rand x Elayne (dealing with conflicting duties) or Rand x Aviendha (dealing with differing cultural expectations). I have a hard time getting attached to pairings where the way for them is smoothed by the narrative, lol. I guess the ‘conflict’ in Rand x Min is supposed to be over which one of them cracks first and admits out loud that all the snuggling and kissing and teasing is a romantic relationship?
17. Oh. I almost forgot -- in addition to the paranoia and recklessness, Rand is also becoming more susceptible to flattery, because we learn that he does now believe Alviarin’s letter from the end of TFoH - he talks earlier about there being a faction of Aes Sedai ready to bend knee to him. So that’s three dangerous influences on his mental state. Plus he doesn’t eat or sleep enough and has Vaguely Ominous Warnings to deal with.
18. Rand is trying to figure out how to have Min around without revealing that she matters to him to the people around him who might take advantage of it. Rand notes that he’s more ill-tempered when she’s not around but that even she can’t pull him out of his depressions. The temper thing is ‘told’ here in the internal narration about Min, but we’ve actually seen it in action before with Elayne -- when Egwene accidentally riled up his temper at the start of TSR, Elayne talking to him cooled him down. Just her presence was soothing, iirc. So I assume that a similar thing is happening here.
19. Rand is still very attracted to Berelain (everyone is more horny in these later books) but is now blaming that all on LTT. So that’s getting worse, too, because earlier in the book, he was able to admit that he was the one who found Berelain attractive but now it’s Lews Therin who finds her attractive. And Min joins the group we like to call ‘All Wetlander Women Hate Berelain’. *annoyed sigh*
20. Even though Rand and Perrin have now both been in Cairhien together for ten days, that catch-up session that happened that first day with them hasn’t repeated and they have not been spending much time together, with Perrin blaming it on Rand being busy. This friendship is so casual and low-key compared to the intense... thing that Rand and Mat have going on, and it makes me sad all over again that Mat has left.
21. The Berelain-Faile nonsense has started and I am not going to waste my time talking about it. I will say this and only this, because it’s both the first and last thing that matters in this pointless storyline: “Berelain knew he was married, knew he loved his wife, and that should have been that” (especially since we already know from an earlier Min viewing that Berelain is going to fall in love with someone else later, so Berelain desperately chasing after a married man is EVEN MORE ridiculous than it might otherwise be). Wait. I will also point out that Berelain laughing and ignoring Perrin’s wishes that she stop being overly flirty with him is exactly what Min is doing in her “wear Rand down into admitting he wants to sleep with me” campaign. Now I’m done with the subject. Oh, wait, also go to AO3 and check out @lesbiancytherea‘s Berelain/Faile fic: The woman I have always desired to be mine.
22. Ah, yeah, and the whole reason that Rand is bothering to meet with Elaida’s delegation at all (when he gets taken) is because he’s trying to ‘even out’ the audiences that he had with the Salidar delegation. This is still all based on his panicked flight out of Caemlyn. And LTT keeps talking about needing to take care of Sammael but Demandred first. He sees the Aes Sedai alone because he’s been taking more and more risks even as he’s been getting more and more paranoid (it’s been stressing me out all book), and they’ve snuck their secret Aes Sedai sisters (too young to get the distinctive look) into the room, to shield him and take him. Galina takes over the embassy and the Red Ajah is in charge. Captive in that noble’s house, Rand has started to sink into a gray depression. But, yeah, remember way back when Aviendha made the Maidens promise to tell her all of Rand’s comings and goings and I said that just sounded like it would make Rand start to sneak off without his guards? Nandera tells us that he’s been doing just that. So that’s why the Maidens aren’t on instant high alert.
23 Wait... I’m kinda curious now what bizarre nonsensical way that Min is going to end up with Rand here, since she wasn’t with him when he was taken. For some reason, I’ve remembered (incorrectly) all this time that she was with him and that’s why she was taken along as well.  lol, she “vanished” between the tents and the palace, we are told by Sorilea. Okay, my guess before I get to the chapter with the real reason: one of the Tower Aes Sedai randomly saw her in the streets and recognized her as fortune-telling Min and so she has conveniently been kidnapped along with Rand?
24. Mat has grown used to being called “Lord Cauthon”. It makes things easier in Ebou Dar, he thinks. Fewer challenges to duels. Ah, they are having Olver ‘pick up’ shameless flirting from Mat in this book, but it’s confined to “beautiful eyes” here. And even that much, Mat disapproves of him doing. And it’s fine for there to be ‘grown-up things’ that kids aren’t allowed to do? Mat isn’t evil for flirting with women while being In The Presence Of A Child.
25. As they search the endless streets and buildings, Elayne and Birgitte see a ‘Domani wilder’ healing someone. A Clue but they’re focused on their search, so they let it pass them by. And Elayne and Birgitte also spot Mat and Nalesean, who have been drawn to the correct spot at a useful time by Mat’s luck, but Elayne and Birgitte are trying to avoid them, so they hurry along. Because in their PoV, Mat is only here to get him out of Egwene’s way, not to actually be useful. Maybe this would be a better jumping off point for an AU than the earlier one I was thinking of. Marking it for later. (if anyone could literally walk into the correct building by accident...)
26. We do get the interesting mirroring here of the Salidar Aes Sedai keeping Logain under a shield even as the Tower’s Aes Sedai are keeping Rand under one. And this all reminds me of the excellent Logain scenes that we got in S1 of the show. Looking forward to more Logain, definitely. Egwene is trying to get Logain’s thoughts on Rand, the amnesty, and the madness. Egwene is startled when Logain angrily bursts out that of course he wishes “I were with [Rand] now!”
27. Egwene meets up with Elayne and Nynaeve in TAR. We learn here that Egwene HAS talked with the Aiel dreamwalkers (well, Bair and Melaine) and they told her that you can only use need to find a specific thing once (’like trying to eat the same apple twice’). Egwene notes (internally) that the dreamwalkers might be happy to teach her but they are telling her nothing about Rand anymore and have gotten very sour on the topic of Aes Sedai in general. For the first time in ages, Nynaeve stays alone in TAR to talk to Egwene, so that she can ask if there’s any news about Lan (there is not).
28. Because she’s realized that the Hall is going to vote to gentle Logain, Egwene’s arranged to secretly have him freed.
29. Elsewhere in the camp, Lan arrives and Myrelle is waiting to meet him. We’re told that this (like Alanna’s forced bonding of Rand) is also considered awful and out-of-bounds, passing a Warder’s bond along to another Aes Sedai without his permission. Ugh, the way she thinks about him here: “a wolfhound mourning his dead mistress did not come to a new mistress willingly”. So she compels him to obey (which is what Alanna has tried and failed to do with Rand).
30. Back in Perrin’s PoV, Rand has been missing six days. Min is also missing. “he could feel Rand’s need like an itch everywhere under his skin”. Yeah, much less evocative and coded romantic than how Mat described it, lol. We also learn here that the Aes Sedai left three days ago, so Rand is three days out from Cairhien and heading towards the White Tower. They find out that Rand is truly missing from two people: Lord Dobraine has come to warn them about two Lords being murdered and Lady Colavaere doing some suspiciously political dinners; and Belelain has found Rand’s sword and Dragon belt buckle, left behind. Sulin INSTANTLY realizes upon seeing Aviendha’s two gifts to Rand that this means he has been stolen away and has not left of his own accord and she calls him her “first-brother”. The privacy thing I will always have issues with, but they really do love him so much. She is DONE with being a servant, she must SAVE HER BROTHER. Also, we can count Dobraine as very firmly Rand’s man.
31. lol “Perrin liked to think things through; when you were hasty, you could hurt people without meaning to”. Perrin really is just as self-deceiving as Mat or Nynaeve, I swear. He manages to think this literally moments after he has flown off the handle to scream at Berelain for simply entering the room. I actually have some thoughts maybe about how all three of the guys’ plotlines are representing PTSD, but I feel like that meta has probably been written years ago lol.
32. Yes, Min has been captured by Galina. We aren’t told who/how they took her, but apparently her knife skills weren’t as up to the task as she thought they would be when she was showing off to Rand earlier in the book; the fact that Jordan doesn’t even bother to tell us how she was captured does kinda make me laugh. And it is because Galina apparently recognized her from when she was hanging out with Nynaeve and Egwene, and knows they’re connected to Rand, of course, and now she’s hanging out in the same city as Rand so, you know, clear connection there. When Rand saw that Min was there in the camp, he went so wild with rage that he killed one Warder directly and another one died from the shock of being Healed. There are 39 total Aes Sedai in the group that is holding Rand captive. Rand’s treatment at the hands of the Tower Aes Sedai in this section really is truly horrific. Each blow that they hit against him firms his resolve to never trust another Aes Sedai. It is in Rand’s PoV that we learn that Sevanna and the Shaido Wise Ones are hanging out with this group (though we saw the bargain being made earlier in the book).
33. But, yeah, Min being here really does make me very ??? at why she’s exempt from being protected from Rand’s danger-aura in the future by being send away from him. Being close to him literally got her kidnapped; she was targeted exactly the way he was afraid that Elayne or Aviendha or the Two Rivers would be if he let people see that he cared about them.
34. Rand has another two-way conversation with Lews Therin, and he asks if they can work together. After a moment, LTT agrees. Rand tries to plan out a way to pretend to be broken so that they will stop holding him so hard, so that they will tie off the weave that’s shielding him instead of maintaining it. Galina’s goal for Rand: “when she brought him to the White Tower, he would kiss Elaida’s ring, speak when spoken to and kneel in the corner when he was not wanted”. She wants him to be damane, essentially.
35. ALL of the Maidens wanted to come, but got restricted to a thousand, as every Maiden leaving the city would make it very very obvious to the Aiel that Rand was in grave danger. There are also five-thousand other Aiel, ninety-four Wise Ones (”the strongest in the One Power near the city”; and ALL of the Wise Ones wanted to come as well, but they only let the strongest come. And Sorilea), five hundred of Lord Dobraine’s men, and two hundred of Berelain’s.
36. And when they rest for the night, Perrin calls out for the wolves to come and help them rescue Rand. Just as Mat reached a peak of a kind in this book (he’s very firmly Rand’s general, and loyal to him); so does Perrin, in being able to take command here to lead the rescue to save Rand without second-guessing himself or his willingness to lead. Which uh, makes it unfortunate that there are so many books remaining, because there’s only one direction for them to go.
37. I love the evocative descriptions of the wolves’ names. Gorgeous imagery. “Two Moons was really a night-shrouded pool, smooth as ice in the instant before the breeze stirred, with a tang of autumn in the air, and one moon hanging full in the sky and another reflected so perfectly in the water that it was difficult to tell which was real”. We also learn here that wolves can sense channelers. And the wolves are PISSED when they learn that Rand (”Shadowkiller”) has been caged and the word is passed around from pack to pack and “several hundred” are coming to help.
38. So, with the siswai’aman, we learn from Perrin’s smell-o-vision that they are jealous of the Maidens, while the Maidens are possessive of what they have -- obviously, this is about their connection to Rand, though Perrin doesn’t realize that. They are all devoted enough to Rand to be willing to fight Aes Sedai in order to try to save him, which most of the Aiel are not willing to do.
39. Seven days into chasing after Rand (so Rand has been captive 13 days total), Perrin learns (via the wolves) that they’re running into the Two Rivers’ men. Honestly, it actually kinda annoys me that Perrin did not bring Tam or even tell him Rand needed him (because he knew from the start that Rand was ‘tugging’ him away into his duties)? That’s his son. He doesn’t even know that Rand is the Dragon Reborn! Anyway, Verin and Alanna are here, as well as seven others, so three more than the six that Rand said were allowed to follow him to Cairhien.
40. So now three hundred Two Rivers archers, nine Aes Sedai, and sixteen Warders have been added to the army. So, if I were writing this in a way to make it so that more characters could rescue Rand... Perrin would be coming with the archers, and you would have Mat with this main army here (and the Band), marching from Cairhien. Can’t think of any easy way for Egwene, Nynaeve, or Elayne/Aviendha to be there though. It would need to be BEFORE Mat was sent to try to get Elayne to go to Caemlyn. But, of course, any changes here would depend on earlier changes as well, which I can’t predict. If Elayne and Nynaeve aren’t at Salidar at this point, then they could potentially end up in Cairhien or Caemlyn and thus go along. Though it probably wouldn’t make narrative sense for Egwene to be present, since she and Rand are supposed to be pulling apart at this point. Again, depending on how the storyline is going.
41. lol, yep, Gawyn will Technically Keep His Word to Egwene by not physically raising a hand against Rand personally, but not keep the spirit of his word, since he is helping to enable great harm to happen to Rand and is very aware Egwene would not be thrilled. Once again, Gawyn straddles that fence between two sides and tries to help both and neither at the same time.
42. Rand has been memorizing each woman that has taken her turn at beating him. Galina, Erian, and Katerine are the three that have done so more than once. He’s still desperately feeling along the shield and hoping that they will tie it off instead of holding it.
43. Pretty much all of Perrin’s allies all hate each other -- but they are all determined to save Rand, even if they die in the effort. Why doesn’t Perrin understand why the Aes Sedai have to go into the battle in order to fight? He was with Alanna and Verin and I’m sure they told him that they actually need to be threatened in order to help? Didn’t they? Maybe they didn’t, since they were fighting Shadowspawn. Hmm. The battle itself is pretty good -- it doesn’t go into too much gory detail but we get enough of what is happening to understand the story of the battle.
44. Taim and the Asha’man arrive via Gateways and level the playing field against the Tower Aes Sedai and the Shaido. That is... convenient timing. But we’ll see if Taim says how he knew to come.
45. As the battle rages, four of the Aes Sedai holding him have to tie off their part of the shield to join the battle, leaving only two actively holding on. He unravels three of the knots -- another Sister starts actively holding again, but he is able to burst through the shield of the three Sisters holding him before they can bring someone else into the shield to hold him. Min is magically unharmed by the chest exploding to free him because of course she is. Rand stilled all three of the Sisters who were still holding onto the shield when Rand blew it apart. Anyway, Rand promises to protect Min and she’s officially his Damsel Figure now, I guess, and the Damsel-fication of Min that has been slowly occurring over the course of the last couple of books is feels like it’s starting to reach Peak Damsel. Will this be her exemption clause out of his general “must keep everyone I care about far away from me if possible” attitude, because helpless damsels can’t be allowed to wander around on their own lest they tragically die as they are wont to do? I guess I will find out.
46. Rand starts picking out the Tower Aes Sedai and shielding them. When “Lews Therin” thinks that he wanted Erian, Katerine, and Galina ‘especially’, Rand denies that the thought could have come from him, despite the fact that it obviously did. He takes down Sister after Sister, but doesn’t see Galina (though he did get Erian and Katerine).
47. Rand and Gawyn are briefly confronted with each other; Gawyn asks Min to come with him to safety, she refuses and tells him that Elayne loves Rand. Gawyn leaves, swearing that one day he will see Rand die.
48. Ah, Taim says they were able to show up because he had “reason to be in Cairhien”. That is... very thin, but Rand isn’t really in a state of mind to challenge it. Taim offers to heal him and Rand refuses, thinking that if Taim touches him with the Power, however innocently, Rand won’t be able to stop himself from killing him.
49. When Rand sees Perrin arrive, he has to stop himself from looking around to see if Mat is there too. Oh, buddy, I wish he were.
50. When the Salidar Aes Sedai come to Rand, to try to tell him about rescuing him, he orders them to join the Tower Aes Sedai. They also disobeyed his commands -- they brought nine Sisters when he said to bring six -- and he has absolutely zero trust left for any Aes Sedai at the moment in time. So he orders them to kneel, and Taim enforces it. It’s a big contrast to the triumphant (with warning tones) ending of TFoH -- this is somber and ominous. Technically, Rand has won... after being caged and beaten nearly two weeks, after watching a horrific slaughter (which feels probably like an illusion to the invention of modern guns being able to cause carnage on the battlefield?). The Aes Sedai kneel and swear to Rand (I will note that Rand’s aversion IS limited to Aes Sedai and not female channelers in general; this event doesn’t make him start mistrusting the Wise Ones, for example).
51. In the epilogue, Rand’s philosopher friend is killed, conveniently creating a ‘job opening’ for the next book for Rand to get a ‘new’ philosopher ‘friend’. I actually did like Herid, though I disliked him being yet another Old Dude who is super into Girls Young Enough To Be His Granddaughter, like Thom was in TDR/TSR (though luckily Thom... grew out of it? before Elayne’s inexplicable crush on him).
52. Aran’gar frees Moghedien and Egwene wonders if Logain did it. Anyway, Moghedien has been summoned to Shayol Ghul. Right now in SG, the Great Lord is praising Demandred for “doing well” at “letting the lord of chaos rule”, which sadly is a tiny scene that makes no sense after the upcoming change to Demandred’s plot/location lol. Oh well. And the book ends on the Dark One laughing.
So, LoC is a pretty good book but I would not say it’s as good at TFoH. Better than TSR though (Perrin and Faile keep TSR from being better than LoC, I would say). In TFoH, any issues I had were super-minor and one of the main things that bugged me throughout the book -- everyone and their sister bullying Nynaeve -- ends with Nynaeve getting to triumph over Moghedien in the end. LoC, though, has some sections where it just felt like nothing much was happening, plus I learned that I... actually dislike Rand/Min? Before this reread, it was my least favorite of the Rand pairings but I DID like it okay. But this time, really digging into it, there’s just a lot of ‘yikes’ there for how much Min was willing to warp her personality, behavior, and looks in order to try to appeal to Rand and win him. Ironically, I’m actually super into Powered/Unpowered pairings, where one person is ‘mundane’/’normal’ and the other is magical in some way, all the way back to my love for Clark Kent & Lois Lane. But Min is... Min is no Lois Lane. I’ll leave it at that, lol.
Again, I DO think the show has lots of opportunity to improve the Rand x Min pairing to make it feel less ‘yikes’. If we can avoid the ringlets and the simpering on Rand’s lap to try to get him to admit he wants to bang her, I would be thrilled lol. And making it so that all the relationships get more equal ‘face time’ would also be an improvement.
Since (imo) we have entered the beginnings of The Slog, I am going to keep track of Sloggy Things. Two main things.
The first being -- how long does it take plotlines to resolve?
In the previous books, all main plotlines were resolved by the ending of the book -- they get to the Eye of the World in EotW, everyone goes to Falme and the Horn is used in TGH and the dagger has been retrieved, everyone makes it to Tear in TDR and Rand is officially proclaimed as the Dragon Reborn. It gets a little more complicated in TSR, because there are more storylines at play, but Perrin defends the Two Rivers, Rand becomes the Car’a’carn, and Elayne and Nynaeve get (and dispose of) the Sad bracelets. In TFoH, Couladin gets taken care of (which is both Mat and Rand’s plotline) and Rand takes control of Cairhien, and Elayne and Nynaeve get to Salidar. Egwene doesn’t really have a ‘plotline’ of her own in the first five books, though she tags along on other people’s -- but she’s getting a lot of training instead and also has some Traumatic Events happen to her that shape her perspective of the world.
Now we get to LoC. The goals of the characters:
Rand & Mat - take care of Sammael in Illian. NOT completed by the end of the book and entirely canceled for Mat. First time Rand has not completed the proposed plot of his book.
Perrin - do a ta’veren thing for Rand. COMPLETED! (but also much shorter PoV-wise than Rand’s incompleted arc)
Egwene, Nynaeve, and Elayne are all mostly chilling and waiting for a plotline to start for them in this book but we do open up the new plot threads for A Crown of Swords near the end of the book. Min’s only goal is to get Rand to have sex with her, but that is also uncompleted in this book I guess, lol. And Mat gets a new task assigned to him by Rand. I guess... technically, Elayne and Nynaeve’s ‘purpose’ this book was to get the Salidar Aes Sedai to side with Rand, so that is definitely NOT completed. But this goal also seems to get canceled when Egwene takes over, and the new goal is to march on Tar Valon and confront Elaida.
So, these are the tasks that are being set up to be completed in ACoS:
Rand - take care of Sammael in Illian (2/?)
Mat - escort Elayne to Caemlyn and watch her become queen (1/?)
Perrin - ???? Rand wants him to help with Sammael but who knows? (I mean, it’s a reread, so I actually do know, but it’s not said in this book lol)
Egwene - get to the White Tower and challenge Elaida (1/?)
Nynaeve & Elayne - get the Bowl of Winds and fix the weather (1/?); they also believe this will... somehow???... help the Salidar Aes Sedai to side with Rand.
And the second thing being -- how many times do we get unnecessary scenes/plotlines?
Which I will define either as scenes that are pointless (like the Berelain-Faile jealousy stuff which has already been shown pointless because of Min’s viewing that Berelain is going to fall in love with someone else entirely, so why are we wasting time on her trying to chase Perrin) or repetitive scenes that give us no new information.
Many of the earlier Salidar PoVs in LoC feel this way to me, like they could have been condensed into fewer sections, like Perrin’s were, and I believe this is definitely something that will get worse in future books (pretty sure the vast majority of one of the future books is like this lol). Jordan needed a stronger hand on the editor’s pen, someone willing to ask him “do we really need this scene or are you just trying to show off your worldbuilding?”
I’ll try to keep track of this one as I go, and then tote it up at the end of each book.
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ao3screenshotss · 10 months
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sometimes i worry about my internet footprint and the fact that it might stop me from getting a job in the future or something (i literally run a blog posting screenshots from fanfics i read) but then i think ‘well damn, if they can find all this information about me then i don’t deserve the job cause i know i wouldn’t put in that much effort to find information on someone’ and i feel better
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xmcu-fietro · 9 months
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anyone know any tips for hacking into that sweet adhd hyperfocused state of mind when you’re depressed and apathetic about life 🙃
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calamitydaze · 2 months
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long tag ramble below u have been warned
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#ok i feel like i should say Something before i start being active again#but i dont want it to be a Statement which is why i’m putting it in the tags#(also bc i procrastinated doing this for weeks so i know this is a very stale topic by now#but i also haven’t been on tumblr literally at all so this is 100% my organic authentic opinion lmao)#so read if you gaf and ignore if you don’t#anyway: george def could’ve done more to ensure she was comfortable#and as someone who has also gotten in over my head with older men and regretted it#her hurt is valid and i’m deeply sorry she feels the way she does about that night#but with that said i see no reason to believe george Should have known how she really felt#or that he deliberately took advantage of either her youth/inexperience or her discomfort#and that’s the most important thing for me— he fucked up and misread a situation but that doesn’t make him an evil person#and i hope they can both move on and grow and heal#as for my future in the fandom: i honestly dunno how active i’ll be going forward#i was already becoming pretty disconnected so this might’ve just sped up the process? i’m tired of being put through the wringer#but i also don’t really have a fandom to replace this so i might just continue casually participating in the way i have been#either way rest assured i will never become a rabid anti. that shits embarrassing#i got HORRIBLE drolo rsd the other day when tommy’s mom needed clout and vagued him so like if nothing else. droloisms are forever#also as a last thing— this feels kinda silly and self centered to say but i will anyway#sorry for not opening up my blog as a forum for discussion again the way i did with the drituation#i know i helped a lot of people sort out their feelings and that was (and is) really really important to me#but it also tanked my mental health (mostly as a result of the fallout and not the act itself but still)#plus my life irl was pretty stressful at the time when everything was first going down#so i just didn’t feel up to putting myself through that again#but i’m sorry if anyone wanted to discuss w me but wasn’t able to#anyway. i think that’s all i have to say!#i don’t want to turn this into a capital D discussion but as always my askbox and dms are open#love you all tons! i hope you’re having a good day 🫂🫶#bella talks
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vulpinesaint · 1 year
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mkay not to be like. a little insane or anything. but god i've been going crazy over religion (catholicism) and blood lately. did anyone else drink blood as worship every week since they were seven. was anyone else inundated with images of open wounds as holy. is anyone else consumed by the thought of holding onto a crucifix tightly enough for the edges of it to draw blood. i turned in a poem about drowning in communion wine in an empty church while bleeding from crucifix-inflicted hand wounds and trying to talk to god and my creative writing professor gave me extremely normal critiques i feel like i'm losing my mind
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terrainofheartfelt · 5 months
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#i need to be childish and rant some more about this thing#i talked to a mutual friend — the poet of our group— and she advised me to repair things with this friend i had a Thing with last week#and the adult intellectual side of me who has a modicum of emotional intelligence knows she’s right#i know it#but GOD. does anyone else feel like their well of grace is running dry?#the thing about being The Good Kid is that I am always reaching first#it always falls to me#and like god I can’t remember the last time someone has reached for me. because I am worth the effort of repair#and I am TIRED. and I just want to be wanted as a friend for a goddamn second#going to be litigious on my own tumblr blog for a minute#because I am the wronged party here. she was the one who leapt at me#and honestly made me feel like she thought so little of me. after all the years we’ve known each other#i was open and vulnerable with her through a really hard fucking time for me#and I didn’t think she would ever use it as ammo against me but she DID#so why does the repair have to fall to ME#and I know — I know that sitting and waiting for her to talk first is childish and I could be waiting for a long long time#i know that is ultimately unproductive and doesn’t get anyone anywhere#(just like i know this friend is working through some deep deep shit)#(and my shit is lesser)#i know all this AND YET#I want to be petulant and pathetic because I never get to let the line down ever and I’m exhausted is everyone else exhausted#but it’s also like. this friendship this group is for fucking life and i really mean that#i am just—— UGH#anyway this is the anguish occupying my brain this wed evening#also i am afraid to reach out because what if i inadvertently hurt her and what if#what if reaching out only gives her an opening to hurt me again?
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clavissionary-position · 10 months
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but going back to jude, all i know is that my obligatory avril lavigne song for him is Hot
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sunglassesmish · 1 year
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I think our @ Misha when talking about when he is online might have finally scared him away 😔
honestly he should be. WHY IS HE EVEN HERE. (long rant in the tags sorry)
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ezraphobicsoup · 2 months
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sometimes i think i’m a fully proper binary guy. and then i think about gender for a minute too long and
#no but i am a guy i’m not non binary#but equally what makes me a man? what is masculinity?? how can i identify with something i don’t understand?? but i am a man! but why?? what#does that mean???? what makes anyone anything and does it matter??? no of course not! all that matters is that people can comfortably view#themselves and that’s the point of gender; to be comfortable#and gender *roles* are just bullshit and not real. but if not for gender roles where does gender come from?? again does it matter????#i mean really. we’re all just people and it’s about being happy. these boxes exist for a variety of reasons but if there’s happiness in the#box then you take the fucking box#you can have as many boxes as you like. or none! you just do what makes you happy. .. but then what makes me happy#cause as i say. i am a man completely. i wouldn’t be happy if someone referred to me as not a man. but am i a Man? do i want to be?#if masculinity is built upon stereotypes and i can never truly meet those stereotypes then what makes me a man? it’s the feeling of it?#the euphoria in being someone’s son. someone’s brother. someone’s boyfriend. you know? maybe that’s all it needs to be#i don’t have to understand masculinity to be a man. maybe no one actually understands masculinity or feminity for that matter because theyre#not tangible things. that’s what it boils down to it’s fucking intangibility and culture isn’t it#and i mean i think in a sense that’s beautiful? gender boxes can suck because of what we say are in them but really inherently? the fact#that humans have such an array of ways to make ourselves feel more comfortable in how we talk about ourselves? that’s incredible#i think that’s all i have to say for now#once again this is macbeths fault fuck shakespeare why does this always happen#ezra’s real life rambles#tldr i am a binary man but in a silly way i think. ever so slightly to the left. but i like being seen just as a guy and that’s easy enough#sorry to uh broadcast this on tumblr dot com if you read all of this i hope this was interesting
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steakout-05 · 2 months
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eeuuaghh i would like everyone to know that i apologise if i have not responded to your reblogs/mentions/posts on tumblr, i have really terrible social anxiety and for some reason people talking to me makes my nervous system think i'm being hunted for sport by a resident evil boss. sorry if i havent responded i'm not being rude i'm just having a panic attack :P
additionally: social anxiety is actually the reason why a lot of my old posts from late 2022 had weird spacing and spelling mistakes. i was too anxious to type properly
#sorry this seems like a random thing to post but it has been bugging me for a little bit now and i want to post it#and by a little bit i mean the entire time i've been on this website#as for the reason i have social anxiety: i went to a really terrible high school full of dangerous people-#-who were literally like. the worst most bigoted people ever. not everyone there was bad of course but 90% of them were-#-and that stunted by social development by 5-6 years and now every time someone talks to me i feel like i'm about to get murdered#also primary school was. bad. the other kids could sniff out the autism in me and didn't like me for it#this post isn't directed towards anyone specifically but also it kinda is because there's a DM from someone-#-that i haven't responded to in literally 8 months and every time i think about it i get anxious#i'm sorry!!! i'm not trying to ignore you on purpose and i want to say something but my brain literally will not let me out of fear :(#i'm not used to getting talked to directly so every time i do my entire nervous system starts screaming and running in circles#it's kinda ridiculous because it's like. come on. why are you having a panic attack over a message on tumblr it's LITERALLY just words on-#-a screen what are you freaking out about. but also it's like hhhhh unfamiliar social situation scary. help.#unrelated to that but i am very worried about what people will think of me and like i know i really shouldn't worry about that-#-because i can't control what other people think of me and it really shouldn't be any of my or their business. but also-#-i have legitimate trauma that backs my fears up and every time someone is even slightly critical towards me my brain just goes-#-''see? it happened again i TOLD you it would happen again. idiot. you shouldn't have said anything''#and then i hide and cry and lay in bed thinking about how i'm going to die until i suddenly snap out of it and think-#-''wait hang on why should i care. i love being a weirdo on the internet why should i let my anxieties stop me''#and then it happens AGAIN and it's just a viscous cycle at that point#be silly on the internet -> detect slight criticism -> think everyone hates you again -> go back on your bullshit after 3 days of crying#and it makes sense because that exact same pattern happened to me countless times as a child.#be silly in school -> get made fun of for it -> get hated for it -> rinse and repeat until you think everyone is dangerous and they hate yo#if i could put it in a metaphor it would be like me being a little rabbit who thinks everyone is a scary wolf because of their big shadows-#-even though they're all also rabbits and i'm just paying attention to the scariest parts of them because i only know what wolves look like#trauma does fucked up things to your psyche lemmie tell you#social anxiety#anxiety disorder#i'm literally the ''too scared to order food'' stereotype except it's not a stereotype because it's real and every time i look at the 7/11-#-at my campus i go ''hm but what if they hate me for the food i buy there'' even though they're LITERALLY SELLING IT what is WRONG with me#anyway um. social anxiety sucks and i don't mean to not reply ro everyone who talks to me i am sorr y
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thatlovelydove · 3 months
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im getting tired of people acting like someone using anti tags are dramatic or chronically online, i mean some people may be but not all of them
if you want to talk shit about something use: the anti tags
if you want to talk about how much you love a thing: use the pro tags or the normal fandom tags
that way people can filter out what they do or dont like
do not post things you like in the anti tags and do not post things you hate in the pro tags
if you want to talk shit about people who use anti tags: DONT USE THE ANTI TAGS
if you are going to complain about people tagging incorrectly AND THEN DONT TAG CORRECTLY IM GOING TO EAT YOUR KNEES
also if you like something but then keep going in the anti of that thing please stop and just block the tag dont try and debate people who use the tag you're not going to change their mind there's a reason why they're posting in that tag
btw if you see a random anti post out in the wild that isnt tagged properly you have full right to get upset, im just asking for yall to not just go in the anti-tags to complain use the General tags or the pro-tags instead
(sorry if this comes off as rude or harsh im just annoyed with how often this happens)
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eviltothecore13 · 1 year
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lots of people in this fandom CLAIM to love Gomez but when someone makes a post with Morticia as "Barbie is everything" and Gomez as "he's just Ken", it gets likes and reblogs
like...isn't that meme essentially saying "he's bland and boring/doesn't do anything interesting/is no good at anything and has nothing special about him, and no-one cares about him that much because he's just some bland generic guy with no personality beyond being a sidekick"?
do the majority of fans genuinely believe Gomez has no personality and no interesting traits?
#I really am starting to consider deleting all my fics and my Tumblr#because most of my planned WIPs focus on Gomez quite heavily#and I feel like no-one will care or want to read them because apparently everyone thinks he is dull and bland#I'm also assuming everyone I've ever talked to about him was secretly#thinking 'I wish this loser would stop going on about this boring character who no-one cares about'#'ugh they're pathetic he's the most generic bland guy on the planet why would anyone be a fan of him'#even if at the time people seemed interested I'm starting to think they must just have been pretending#because APPARENTLY the whole fandom thinks he's boring and useless and bland and stupid and has no personality#if I post any of my fics I'm worried I'll either get zero response because no-one likes or cares about Gomez#or I'll just get comments from people going 'give up and quit writing no-one cares about this stupid character he sucks and so do you'#I don't get why he's apparently seen as dull and boring when he swordfights and builds robots and blows things up but apparently he is?#I especially don't get it from Morticia fans tbh#because I don't think SHE'D actually like people calling Gomez dull and bland and forgettable and useless#she generally seems to believe he's amazing just as much as he believes she's amazing#but hey what do I know I'm clearly the only person in the fandom who finds him interesting#or thinks he has a personality or is anything more than Morticia's forgettable stupid sidekick#so I guess I'm just stupid and wrong about everything#and should stop writing fic because apparently I'm too stupid to understand the characters properly#and I'm just an idiot with bad taste and bad opinions#because if I was a true fan who understood the characters I'd think Gomez was boring and useless too like everyone else does#it's just not fun to know that everyone I thought was interested in my fics and headcanons was only pretending to be
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