#I don’t get what my purpose is beyond ‘getting better’/coping w disability and I don’t get why I’m here

[xmcu-fietro]

anyone know any tips for hacking into that sweet adhd hyperfocused state of mind when you’re depressed and apathetic about life 🙃

#like actually. does anyone know how I can feel that fun hyperfixation buzz in my brain when my dopamine is this low #because this isn’t very fun #and it’s really affecting me #turns out it’s bad to not care about your own well-being. who knew!! /s #tw: suicidal thoughts #not trying to be TMI or get too dark or anything but honestly I just don’t really want to be here? and I’ve felt this way before so I’ll be #fine but it still sucks. I just don’t understand what the point of me being here is #and I know this level of apathy isn’t logical because there are objectively good things about my life but it all feels so pointless #I just feel so defeated that I’ve had years of meds and therapy and I STILL struggle this much #I don’t get what my purpose is beyond ‘getting better’/coping w disability and I don’t get why I’m here #not sure why I’m sharing this much on tumblr. I’m definitely going to feel awkward/embarrassed about this later #actually adhd #adhd #hyperfocus #hyperfixation #fietro’s personal posts