#idk is it kind of weird calling all my early drawing of them experiment but it is exactly how i feel when drawing oc

[silver-peel]

more experiment of my birb baby Vulwain and Morr🌿🪶

not intended to be some kind of expression sheets, I just want to know how it's like to drawing them. hope they will be more solid when I made a proper character sheets🥹

#original character #oc #artists on tumblr #my art #illustration #character design #Morr bird companion is a crow #character drawing is not my strong point but i want to get better so i can draw more of them;-; #idk is it kind of weird calling all my early drawing of them experiment but it is exactly how i feel when drawing oc #like it's crazy these bitch didn't existed 2 second ago how I suppose to know lmao #also feel so grateful see some ppl enjoy them tysm🥹🧡 #they're brothers #they're the lil guy in my head🥹

[tendebill]

[oc]

Wanted to ramble about my sillies a bit, cuz I haven't had the time or energy to draw them at all :'|

So I have thing thing, specifically for characters from Drakenterra, where their magic is directly linked to their arcs. Basically the way their magic appears when its unrefined/raw is linked to them as a person. Usually it comes down to its texture/shape and color and for the most part doesn't change. UNLESS they themselves change on some base level.

(whole ass essay underneath)

For example Seph's magic (the one that he was born with, not the ones he got) has always been green, it never changes its color. While Slivern's and Menmarie's both have their own colors (silver/white and purple), green is very much HIS color. Its shape on the other hand...

As a kid he didn't get to use it much, I think I mentioned before that because of Mm's and Slv's magic he had trouble manifesting it for a long time. It did look like sheets of paper, if he were to use it freely they would appear like pieces of paper carried in the wind. HOWEVER his magic changes pretty early on. When Ellie and Seph end up in Elterra (where David is from) they are forced into military training and end up fighting in their first battle. That experience fundamentally changes Seph, as he discovers his more sadistic side and starts getting along with David (they hated each other at first and Seph was afraid of him). His magic starts to look like fire (still green), sort of likening him to David. And even after their relationship goes to SHIT and they spend years hating each other (more so David hating him than the other way around, but Seph has his anti-David moments too) his magic STILL resembles fire. Kind of as a signifier that, despite everything, he still considers David to be his brother (deep deep deep deeeeeep down).

Huen's magic doesn't change, it mostly looks like thick vines/tendrils? Or I guess a sort of hair texture? It's yellow and only changes when she starts using Mm's magic, then its purple/black/yellow mixed together.

As for Angele, I had the idea that her magic looks like thorny vines at first, pinkish purple color. As she opens herself up more and befriends more people, feels more accepted and appreciated it starts to look like a ribbon :3 Also when it mixes with Slv's magic it's like a ribbon that is purple on one side and silver on the other!

Ellie is an interesting example, because she has MAGIC FROM Drakenterra but she isn't from Drakenterra herself. Thus the color is dictated by Golthron's magic alone (gold/orangish yellow) and the shape is pure CHAOS. She's the only oc with no CONCRETE magic shape. It changes all the time, never staying the same. Even the way her portals look changes, one time they look like doors, others they look like someone ripped a hole into reality, other times they look like puddles etc. Chaos child indeed.

Dots' magic looks like fireflies, sparks if she gets angry. It's also yellow and doesn't change throughout the story.

Lucy's looks like pink/purple smoke at first, she's very shy and closed off, doesn't stand up for herself. The shape doesn't change, but the color does. It becomes blue overtime and some characters call this out as weird, as they don't associate that color with her. I want it to illustrate that she stops caring about what other people think she SHOULD be and instead is more true to herself. Blue had always been her favourite color :3

Cyan is a work in progress... I want their magic to END UP as lightning, to signify them losing their trust for people and becoming more brash/less forgiving. They strike hard and fast with no mercy, allowing for less bullshit and protecting their friends at all costs. That being said idk what their magic STARTS OUT as. I've thought of water/ice or fire, but these don't fit them that well? I thought it could be something music related, as I do imagine them as a musician. And since Seph's and Angele's magic already looks like OBJECTS (paper and ribbon) I could always pick something from any instrument. I just haven't had any good ideas lmao. Their color is cyan btw (shocker i know)

I also had an idea to have Seph's magic slowly start changing to look like Huen's in chapter 2 (when they're allied) but it would never go all the way and would be brief. Mostly because I love giving Seph doubts about just how much of Huen is left in him and just how similar they are >:]c

#tendebill ocs #oc #long post #rant #ramble #lore #oc lore #if u read all of this wow thank u so much #i dont know why u did it but i really appreciate it uwu #<3 #i didnt check this over this is pure stream of conciousness with minor editing and mistake check #no idea if its legible at all

[milkttea]

don't be scared,don't ask to ask for something about the pee oh the poop.

I would like to request a request about a quirkless!college! AU where hawks is an idiot fuckboy scumbag who harasses the reader and bullying him until the reader can not bear it anymore and decides to take revenge (dom!reader,femdom and ¿¿mommy kink i guess??).

few days ago I read some fics(NSFW)so they involve dabi and hawks some of them were misogynous incels and other they 2 bullied the reader,they all have something in common,the reader defends himself and puts them in their place until they're begging and pleading,yes,it involves dom!reader.

and I loved it,it was very satisfactory to read them and I was a little disappointed when I no longer find more fics like this,where the reader does justice by his own hand.

That is why I was looking for a blog with open orders,to ask for more of this content and feel a pleasant satisfaction,but if this is too much for you then ignore it,just let me know.

Idk your pronouns so I’m gonna refer to you as anon,, anon you are too kind to me 🥺

Now for pure filth😈 I saw the request and just OOOOO I BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE I will gladly put hawks in his place like the bratty little bottom he is.

Warnings: NSFW, smut, mommy kink? Mommy kink, hawks being a sub, femdom, no condoms on oops wrap it before you tap it y’all.

(If you want this to be gender neutral it could be read that way too ☺️, Mommy and Daddy can be used for both genders sometimes👀👀)

Everyone is 20+ remember to stay safe everyone!

𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙏𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙈𝙮 𝙂𝙡𝙚𝙚

College wasn’t going to be easy and knowing Takami Keigo, or as he commonly went by Hawks (though you never called him that), only made the experience even worse for you. Having known him for the worst part of four years meant that you’ve seen him through his phases of late high school and early college.

He hasn’t changed much, if his douchebag tendencies and fuck boy antics have anything to say about it. You truly couldn’t stand him and would rather not see his face ever again and you really thought you could escape him, but of course life decided to fuck you over once again and have you both go to the same college.

He would personally make it his mission to tease you about being a prude and boring and never doing anything that would bring any danger. Usually these comments wouldn’t bother you, you’d ignore them for two years already, but something about it irked you even more this time.

So you ignored his existence, no responding to his comments, no yelling at him, nothing. It bothered him more than you knew that his favorite little toy wasn’t responding. This is why he wanted to find you at the school library since he knew you would be there and he was right, of course he was right he’s always right.

He went there during the lunch period when he knew you would be there, it was less crowded and you preferred to be in a quieter place where you could watch whatever without judgement. He spotted you walking into one of the private rooms and made his way over to most likely harass you again as he usually does. However, he was stopped as he noticed a guy that followed after you and shut the door.

Said guy was a friend of yours who also happened to have a common friend with Keigo, he was inviting you to a party that would be happening later that day. Now it was a Friday, so that meant no classes the next day and normally you would decline but considering how stressed you were feeling you decided to give in and accept the invitation.

Your friend had left after telling you about the invite, little did he know he was being watched by Keigo the entire time. Keigo enters your room soon after as you sit at the desk in the room with your lap top open working on your latest assignment. You had your headphones in so you didn’t notice him at first since you were so focused, until his feather necklace went over your screen as he leaned over you.

“So, who was that?”

You raised an eyebrow at him before letting out with annoyance.

“Who was what?”

He just stared down at you, the tension in the room raised with something you couldn’t quite put your finger on. You just didn’t know why he cared so much about who your friend was, not like he was close with you or anything, he was more of a constant annoyance to you if you were being honest.

“Don’t act coy with me (Y/n), who was that guy who was just talking to you?”

You stared at him before letting out a scoff.

“Aw Keigo, that’s so sweet of you to see who I’m interacting with but, it’s none of your business sweetheart,” the pet name had heat rushing through Keigo with the way you said it in such a demeaning way, “now run along before I make you.”

He was frozen if he was being honest, the way you told him off just did something to him, not that you’d notice as you went back to your work. Getting out of his stupor he left the room quietly without a glance in your direction. Odd to say the least, but it was Keigo what else can you expect.

The interaction you’d had hours before had slipped completely from your mind as you were getting ready to go out to the frat party. You got ready pretty quick, not wanting to take too long unless you wanted your friend to drag you out by your hair.

Arriving at the house that the party was at was as you expected, loud and obnoxious with the smell of alcohol and cheap liquor all around. Truly the college experience. That was for the newbies though, there was always a tamer side where the upperclassmen could be and indeed there was.

You soon found yourself nursing a random alcoholic drink that you poured yourself while you chat with some people you were friendly with. Honestly you weren’t expecting much to come out of this, but the universe just loves to ruin your expectations and lo and behold Keigo Takami was here talking to some random girl. Why it bothered you you didn’t know.

Maybe it was because you knew he was a sleaze or the fact that you wished he could some form of humanity towards you. Truly you don’t know.

He makes eye contact with you and by some weird force of nature you follow him to a secluded area in the hallway, you curse inwardly towards yourself for following him. You’re a fool.

“Well if it isn’t (y/n), didn’t know these kinds of party’s were your thing?”

He holds a drink in his hand, most likely a beer of some kind judging from the lack of variety in the drinks that were in the fridge.

“Well I was invited by a friend and it’s not like I had anything to do today, I’m for once caught up with all my work, ‘m actually a little ahead.”

You took a sip from your cup with a slight smack to your lips as you licked away some of the slight residue of your drink. Keigo eyes the way you lick your lips before tilting his head and focusing on your face. You notice as you lift an eyebrow toward him in confusion.

“I can’t figure you out.”

Your eyebrow goes down as you narrow your eyes at him.

“What do you mean?”

He scoffs, as if to say that you should know the answer already.

“I just know there’s got to be something you like about me, maybe not my personality cause it’s shit and I know it, but I just gotta know what you like about me.”

You let out a scoff of your own as you take a tentative sip of your drink once more, eventually letting out a sigh with your response and with an almost regretful statement you continue with your speaking.

“You want me to be honest? You’re hot.”

Keigo, who had been taking a sip as he waited for your response, choked a bit on his drink as he let out coughs. He honestly was not expecting your response, he knew he was attractive but he wasn’t sure if you thought so.

“Really? You really think so?”

“I’m not blind Keigo, your attractive. Honestly if you weren’t such a brat I’d have fucked you already, but for some reason you just hate me.”

His eyes widen and he has to take a moment to double back and think about your words. Just hearing you call him a brat and thinking about you fucking him sends heat straight to his crotch.

“You think I hate you?”

“HA! I know you hate me, why else would you torment me all throughout high school and through college. You would go out of your way to make sure I was just having a shitty time.”

He gets closer to your form and backs you against the wall of the hallway before whispering in your ear with as much breath as he could.

“Maybe I just wanted attention from you,” and with a particularly breathy moan he says, “Mommy.”

You shiver involuntarily and reach back to the back of his head and grab his hair and pull back, hard, drawing a slight moan from the man in front of you.

“Well baby boy, maybe if you would have asked nicely I would have given it to you.”

He lets out a shiver of his own, his knees buckling slightly as you keep a firm grasp on his hair and pull the feather around his neck. The action seems to spur him on as he grabs your waist and lets out an almost silent moan. To anyone else it may have looked like he was crying and that you were comforting him, but oh they should know better.

You place your knee in between his legs and rub it it up and down his growing erection, as he lets out more whines and whimpers.

“I always knew you could be a bottom Keigo,“ you let out with a coo. He just continues to whine and you knew that you needed to do something quick before this went any further in a hallway within a frat house of all places.

“Baby boy,“ he nods, “I need you to listen to me alright? Your going to walk out of this house and wait outside for me and I’m gonna follow in a couple minutes then we’re gonna head out of here together, okay. Then I’m going to take really good care of you, you’d like that right honey?“ 

He lets out a louder whine as you put your hand around his throat to quiet him and then with a last slow rub on his crotch, pushed him off of you in a slightly rough manner. He takes a minute to compose himself and leaves to tell one of his buddy’s that he’s going to head out, not something out of the ordinary since he dips out more often than not.

You stay true to your word and tell one of your friends that you’ve had your fun and decided to head home, they trusted you to be home on your own, you only had the one drink you’d poured yourself. After waving a final goodbye to the small group you were talking to, you head out the door and look for Keigo, finding him hunched over on a bench nearby. You calmly walk over and see him with his dick in hand and stroking it fast.

“Oh baby, you couldn’t wait for me could you? Well sweetheart, you’re gonna be punished for this, but you know that right,” he let out a strangled whine as you took his hand off his cock and put it back in his jeans very softly making him cry out.

Not soon enough you end up back at your house after a very long, not really only 5 minutes at most, uber ride. The poor uber driver, you made sure to tip him more as Keigo had no shame in moaning in your ear about how badly he wanted you and how badly he needed you to touch him and take care of him. The Uber driver put the music up louder after a pointed stare.

After arriving at the house and exiting the car, with a very sorry look to the driver, you entered your house with Keigo trailing painfully behind you. The minute that you were in your house and locked the door, Keigo had pushed you against the wall with his arms next to your head.

“Don’t tease me, little mouse. You and I both know I could easily ruin you,” he says to you as he stares you in the eyes with a flushed face.

You simply stare back and watch him react as you put your hand on his throat and squeezed slightly. He immediately became responsive as his arms slacked and fell to your hips as you put your mouth near his ear and hummed slowly. The action spurred him to drag you through the house as you pointed out the direction of your room.

Once you reach your room you lock the door and tell Keigo to sit on your bed which he immediately does.

“The safe word is peacock, anything you’re not comfortable with tell me now,” he says nothing and repeats the safe word out loud making you nod your head.

“Get on your knees, now.”

He acts quickly as he assumes his position in front of you and waits for further instruction.

“You know Keigo, you’ve caused me a lot of pain, why don’t you make it up to me hm? Can you do that for me baby boy?”

He nods as he pulls down your pants and looks at your underwear, a growing wet spot forming that he kisses and sucks on making you pull his hair from the root slightly. Realizing that you’re getting a lot of pleasure he keeps going, making you moan out his name as he moved your underwear out of the way to pay close attention to your clit.

He continues his motions as he goes lower and licks and sucks there as well as your clit. Bearing your orgasm, you push head against you and hold it there as he keeps going steady and then when you finally release everything you let go of his head. He stops with a gasp as he drinks every bit of you and looks up at you with hazed eyes, looking drunk off of you.

“Look at you, pleasuring mommy like the good little boy you are? Want me to return the favor?”

He nods his head, too deep in sun space to form words and you coo at him.

“Get on the bed and take off everything baby boy.”

Moving quickly Keigo strips and sits on the bed waiting for you to do whatever you want to his body.

You walk to him and straddle him, leaning down to plant kisses on his neck as you leave marks. His moans fill the room and he whines when your hand makes contact with his dick and starts to rub slowly, up and down. Not fast enough for his liking, but he doesn’t voice his complaints not wanting to be punished.

“You’re such a good boy, doing exactly what I want. Do you want to cum, sweetheart?”

He nods fervishly as he moans louder when your thumb rubs the tip and swipes the precum down his shaft.

“Use your words, Keigo.”

He tries to let out a word, but doesn’t get the chance as his voice dies when you massage his balls too. The action making him buck his hips up to get more friction from your hand. You instead squeeze his dick as a warning.

“Naughty boy.”

You slip off the bottom portion of your outfit and sit down on him. Moving up and down slowly as Keigo lays back and pushes his head into the sheets as he moans loudly.

You continue riding his cock as he just moans and lets out grunts of your name. He nears his edge and you figure as his back arches and his dick hits a spot inside you that makes your head go back as your eyes close in pleasure.

“Mommy, mommy please move I’ll be so good to you, please just ride me!”

You chuckle as you do as he says and start bouncing up and down making him get closer and closer to orgasming. You stop moving once you also start to get to your high and he cries as you do so.

“Please, please keep moving!”

At this point he’s crying as tears start falling on the sheets. The sight makes you more horny and you bounce faster as you tell him to thrust up and match your rhythm.

He does so immediately and you find yourself cumming sooner as you use your fingers to mess with your clit and massage your nipples. You clench on Keigo, the sensation of both seeing you visibly tense up and then release has him cum harder than he ever has.

He lets out a series of grunts and moans as he comes down from his high. His hands grab your hips as you stay seated on him and rock slowly to get every drop of him out. A moment of silence passes as you both realize what exactly happened.

Yet, you both don’t mind as you both are in your room panting and waiting for your breaths to calm down. The air has shifted and both of you are glad for it. All those years of sexual tension went into this room and moment and it was euphoria.

#bnha #bnha x reader #mha #mha x reader #hawks #hawks x reader #hawks smut #keigo takami #takami keigo x reader #smut #bnha smut #mha smut

[thelittlemermage]

Aren't Pinky and The Brain 70 in mouse years?

Well, in the 90′s we see Brain have an entire midlife crisis. I like to think they’re the human equivalent of late 30′s-early 40′s. And then in the reboot they age another 23 years which...in mouse time kind of makes them immortal gods lol. There’s just no way they’re even close to resembling children, in fact we see them as children so we know they’re solidly adult during the series run. So the idea that someone would be a p*do for drawing vague lewds is...so baffling. They’re not even from like...Blue’s Clues. It’s The Animaniacs. A show known for having shockingly adult humor because it was designed to be enjoyed by both children and their parents. And it is! And again, a lot of older fans grew up with this in the 90′s so you’re accusing someone who grew up with the show as their target demographic...and is now an adult and still likes the show...of being predatory...for liking a show...for them. Is that about right? Because lewds side, I’ve seen people act weird about adults even being in this fandom which is bizarre considering the reboot just aired months ago and younger fans are very new to the scene. Idk, that’s all really weird to me.

I’m just hoping that anon is some 15 year old who knows they aren’t making any sense and just wants to stir up some sweet, sweet fandom drama. Because what they’re doing is NOT helping protect anyone from actual predators. Calling someone a p*do because you don’t like the content of their art (of adult characters...) is just turning a very serious accusation into a petty insult. There are actual people out there who would want to groom and harm children and I think it’s obvious Pluto isn’t one of them. It would be more useful to keep an eye out for people who..I dunno...are a real threat? Like that one known groomer who was lurking around at the beginning of the reboot time who got found out. That person was a real threat. They had a history of doing bad things which they admitted to. Shouldn’t we focus our energy on being worried about people like that?? 

And I guess everything from here on out is just my opinion, but it was only a few years ago that NS//FW content was considered a normal part of fandom. When Tumblr started their p*rn ban a massive amount of people either left or felt that it would ruin the fandom experience. To an extent, they’re right. I look back fondly on the WOY fandom and how everyone decided to use a separate tag for that type of art so that 1. The show’s creator didn’t see it since he used the main tag, 2. Anyone who didn’t want to see it, like minors, didn’t have to, 3. It wouldn’t show up in google search results because it was tagged as something other than the show’s name. And I thought that was great. None of those people were chastised for drawing that art. You could see the efforts they took to make sure there was a safe environment for everyone (in fact some people were mad we were TOO strict about it. Ha.) And even though it was never my cup of tea, I miss those artists now. They were creative and that type of art has value in it’s own way. I don’t think people expressing themselves that way through their art is an evil act, and there’s a number of reasons someone might want to draw that, from coping with their comfort characters to just finding a character attractive. As long as everyone drawn is a consenting adult and it is being put in adult spaces, I really don’t see what the issue is. If it’s not in a space where you have to see it then why do you care? 

Anyway, sorry I ended up ranting under such a simple ask lol. I was just thinking about it a lot after last night. I’m not really trying to draw out the drama any longer than it has to be so much as I want to address the issue as a whole. 

#patb ask #Anonymous

[hermannsthumb]

"newt isn’t sleazy and is also too busy wrestling with the ethics of hitting on his hot TA if the guy is 5 months older than him to even notice" pleeeease write this

Anonymous asked: "When I Kissed the Teacher" AU ft professor newt and his hot 5-month-older TA hermann

and coincidentally, this older one

Anonymous asked: i just rewatched mamma mia 2 and was wondering if i could request a "when i kissed the teacher" newmann fic?? love your writing!!!!!!

Ask And Ye Shall Receive. sorry ive been MIA 😔 concept from this post I made earlier this month. idk what class newt teaches that hermann would be qualified to TA for but just like, decide for yourselves

---------------------

Newt’s never been a list-making kind of guy, or--for that matter--even really a planning ahead kind of guy, but certain circumstances have thrown his life more out of wack than usual lately, and he kind of needs the stability the like of things like lists offer. Desperate times and everything. Or, at the very least, Newt is desperate. 

So Newt plans, and plots, and deliberates, and he even agonizes a little, but most of all, he makes a list.

On one half of the page, he writes pros. On the other, he writes cons. On top, he writes--what else?--Hermann.

The problem started in late August. Newt knew for months he was going to be assigned a teaching assistant come that semester--it was him, after all, who’d suggested it to the dean in the first place--but the Hermann Gottlieb of extensive, impressive, overachieving CV and overly-former cover letter was a far cry from Hermann Gottlieb in the flesh. Newt expected a dork, frankly. Someone too socially awkward to feel brave enough to thank someone for holding a door open for him. He expected a PhD student so eager to please he’d cater to Newt’s every whim, whether it was grading horrendous freshman lab reports or fetching him a sandwich from the commissary between class sections. 

They met for the first time at the campus coffee shop. Hermann was dressed in an oversized pair of slacks, a threadbare green sweatervest, and honest-to-God saddle shoes; the buttons of his Oxford were done up all the way, from the collar to the cuffs, and an ornate cane was settled against his thigh. His haircut was tragic. “Dr. Geiszler,” he said, all clipped and English, and held his hand out to Newt. “Hermann Gottlieb. It is a great pleasure to meet you. I’m an admirer of your work.”

"Sup,” Newt said, and tried to bump their fists together.

Newt knew he was in deep shit then. It wasn’t just because Hermann was gorgeous (which he was, in a sort of weird, frumpy, ripped-outta-1945 way), or that the scowl he proceeded to level Newt with made his soul wither and his heart race a little bit too fast, but both of those things in conjunction with a big one: Newt was, and is, so fucking love-starved. It’s an unfortunate byproduct of being made a professor when he was as young as he was and completing a PhD before he completed puberty. His early twenties should’ve been spent dyeing his hair terrible colors and adding to his already impressive tattoo collection and having questionable hookups with other young twentysomethings; unfortunately, the only young twentysomethings Newt ever seems to come across are his students, and he has a very strict code of ethics. Not to mention it wasn’t like he was getting any action before that as a weird, gangly teenager with peers several years his senior. He was bound to latch onto the first genius hottie who crossed his path who wasn’t trying to flirt their way into bumping that B- to a B+. And better yet, Hermann is five whole months his senior!

The shit only got deeper when the semester started. No, Hermann was not the sort to fetch Newt sandwiches, or coffee, or Aspirin from his office, nor was he the sort to handle the dreaded lab reports (at least not unless Newt handled them with him), and he definitely wasn’t eager to please. Newt, anyway. If anything the opposite was true: he seemed to actively derive enjoyment from undermining Newt at every turn.

“Wrong,” he’d mutter during class if Newt screwed something up in a lecture, or “No, Geiszler, you’re doing it wrong again,” or “How in the blazes did you get three bloody PhDs when you can’t even do simple addition?” and snatch Newt’s dry erase marker away to scrawl his own answers on the whiteboard. It was less like having a TA and more like having...well, a bitchy, annoying co-teacher. Or, God help Newt, a colleague. And boy, did he wave those five months over Newt’s head like a fucking flag. Newt was immature; inexperienced; clearly not as serious about his studies--his completed studies--as Hermann. Meanwhile Newt’s class (bright young twenty somethings, taller than Newt, cooler than Newt, with more friends than Newt) would giggle and snicker, and Hermann would look smug.

It drove Newt fucking batty.

It also made him, like, super turned on.

The two can co-exist. Apparently. Hermann Gottlieb is already helping Newt discover new and existing concepts; what a fucking excellent TA he is. Someone give that man a raise.

So Newt draws up a list, and he writes Pros, and he writes Cons, and he writes Hermann. The pros are regrettably easy to come up with, because Hermann is Hermann, and (bitchiness and undermining of Newt aside) it’s unfair how many he has. Hot. Stupid sexy accent. Stupidly smart. This is crossed out and replaced with so smart he makes me feel stupid (in a good way), because it seems like an important distinction. Glasses on chain. Mysterious. (In a tall, dark, and handsome way. Sort of. Average height--which is tall to Newt, pale, and handsome. He still scowls more than he talks, which makes him feel mysterious. In a Bronte sort of way. Newt can picture Hermann drawing a billowing cloak around his shoulders and stalking some desolate moor in the moonlight, though in this case maybe’s more of a puffy parka than a cloak.) In tiniest font of all is makes me laugh, because Hermann does, goddamn it, with his snide asides and cutting remarks and sarcasm, often not even directed at Newt when it’s just the two of them alone in Newt’s office at night.

The placement of “is my TA” on the chart is acting as a particular annoyance to Newt, entirely on account of the fact that he can think of several pros and cons for that as well, and he’s not sure whether to nestle it between dark eyelashes and once called me a moron in front of my class and I got a hard-on or beneath sweaters smell like sweat and mothballs, has annoying tic of clearing throat when lost in thought, and the dick wins 86% of our arguments. Sexy forbidden fling. Abuse of power. Is older than me so it's not as weird as it could be? I’m his boss. The school’s paying Hermann though, not Newt, and it’s not like he’s going to scurry off to the dean and demand Hermann’s funding slashed if Hermann turns him down (which he’d most likely do). But it still feels like a breach of ethics.

On the other hand, Hermann is exactly the sort of guy he’d try to pick up at a bar if he still did things like that. (Tenure, rather than giving Newt breathing space to kick back and relax a little, has only increased his obsession with his work, and now when he gets a Friday night free to himself he mostly switches crap on the TV and falls asleep with his cat on the couch.) It’s about the experience, the impossible task of seducing someone who--by all accounts--is too straight-laced and tight-buttoned to indulge in something that debase. They were always the best in bed. Tension, Newt knows, has to snap at some point.

He’d like to wrap Hermann’s personal piano wire around his thumb and bang away at the keys until it snaps, too. Ethics, Newt thinks (folding up the list and stuffing it out of sight), his ass.

Newt sacrifices a Friday night with his cat and Unsolved Mysteries in favor of working on a solution to his Hermann Problem. Swamped with work, he tells Hermann over the phone, it fucking sucks, dude, I could really use your help in my office, and Hermann grumbles, and snaps that Newt should learn to be better prepared for his own damn classes, but declares he’ll be on campus in half an hour and that Newt will be ordering him takeaway for dinner as an apology.

The door swings open at half past five. Hermann is bundled in that heavy parka and scarf (which, even for a Boston November, still looks a little too warm), and his hair is damp. “Is it raining?” Newt says, perhaps stupidly, because there’s not a single droplet of water anywhere else on Hermann’s body.

Hermann makes a face at him and pushes the door shut with his cane. “No,” he says, tersely.

“Then why...” Newt touches his own hair.

“I was taking a bloody bath,” Hermann snaps. “I don’t work on Fridays, as you well know, Newton.”

The use of his full first name stings Newt oddly even as the notion of Hermann luxuriating in a bathtub excites him. “That’s Dr. Geiszler,” Newt snaps back, because goddamn it, he’s Hermann’s boss, he deserves respect, and then mentally adds a small, depressing tally to the Cons half of the board. Ethics, ethics. 

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry, Dr. Geiszler,” Hermann says. He throws his scarf and coat viciously at the small couch in the corner of Newt’s office, then takes his usual seat across from Newt. “Well? Where are those papers it’s so crucial we grade?”

Hermann in a bathtub, Newt thinks. Hermann naked. Papers, Newt thinks. “Papers,” Newt says, and he shoves a stack at Hermann with twice as much force as he means to, causing several to flutter to the ground. “We need...to grade them,” he says. Hermann naked, in a bathtub, maybe some candles lit around him, some nice music on, daydreaming about that wretched professor he works for. Damn it. “I have a pen,” he says. “To grade.”

“What on earth are you saying?” Hermann says. “Be quiet. I can’t concentrate with your abominable prattling on.” Then he mumbles something that sounds like incessant, rips the top paper off the stack, and begins to slash at it in red ink. He doesn’t bother gathering the two from the ground.

Why did Newt invite him here, again?

Oh, right. He pushes his glasses up his nose and feigns casualness, pulling out another paper for himself to grade. “A bath,” he says. “Just to, uh, relax? Or...?”

Hermann narrows his eyes. “Or?”

Newt shrugs. “It’s Friday. Were you getting ready for a date or something?”

This time, Hermann’s mouth twists down into a frown. Almost suspicious. “Why do you care?” he says.

“I don’t,” Newt says quickly. “Just making small talk.” God, he could picture some stud of a computer science PhD candidate winning Hermann over with techno babble--or maybe one of his fellow students, ugh, maybe they made a study group together that meets Friday nights, and Hermann was getting all gussied up, goddamn handsome astrophysics grad students--

“I was relaxing,” Hermann says. “You must be aware at this point you cause me a great deal of stress, Dr. Geiszler, on a daily basis.”

“Oh,” Newt says.

He gives up on the small talk after that. Hermann’s promised takeout arrives--a small carton of pad thai--as does Newt’s--a large carton of the spiciest thing they had on the menu--and they eat in silence. They have about three-quarters of the papers to go when Hermann suddenly sits back in his seat with a groan and rubs at his eyes under his granny glasses. “Bugger,” he says. “I can’t fathom this one for the life of me. I’m too tired.”

“It’s getting kinda late,” Newt agrees. “Maybe we should--”

“It’s not that,” Hermann says. “I had a glass of wine earlier, and--oh, it doesn’t matter. Your students need to learn how to write in a way that’s actually bloody legible--it’s like chicken scratch.”

Newt hops up and leans over his shoulder, squinting down at the page. Hermann’s hair smells nice, like something floral, and his skin has a small hint of what could almost be cologne. Why is Hermann wearing cologne? “Okay, let me see it,” Newt says, struggling to keep from getting lightheaded at the close proximity to Hermann. “I’m used to that kind of shit.”

“No,” Hermann says, drawing the paper close to his chest. “I am perfectly capable of managing it on my own.”

“Dude,” Newt says, “let me look at it, seriously. Hermann--”

He manages to tug it away from him. The handwriting is pretty bad, but the math seems to be worse. “Didn’t they do the readings?” Newt mutters under his breath. “That’s not even the right equation for the diameter. I gave them a cheat sheet, man.” They’re junior year engineering students--they should know this shit.

“I know what the equation is,” Hermann snaps. “I can grade it on my own. Give it back.”

“I didn’t say you didn’t know,” Newt says, “I said this kid--”

“It’s the radius squared--”

“Hermann, dude,” Newt says, “I know you’re--”

And that’s when Hermann grabs him by his skinny tie and kisses him, hard. 

They stare at each other afterwards. Hermann’s eyes are as wide as saucers; his mouth is hanging open. Newt’s tie slips from his fingers, which then fall limp to his lap. “Holy shit,” Newt squeaks.

Hermann is gone with a swish of his parka and a loud clack of his cane. And with a stack of papers Newt still has to somehow get through. Figures.

Their next few classes together are subdued. Hermann doesn’t interject any of his biting commentary or corrections, or even offer critiques of Newt’s lack of professionalism (when in the past his skinny jeans were such an easy target), and when the period is over, he practically sprints from the classroom before he and Newt can be alone together for even a second. It’s fine by Newt. Whatever. Maybe Hermann can get over it over Thanksgiving break, and Newt can try to get over the memory of Hermann’s strong fingers tugging him down, Hermann’s floral shampoo, Hermann’s chapped, wide lips against his, the little grunt of shock Hermann made as he did it, like he couldn’t believe his own audacity...

It’s not likely.

It’s December, the last week before finals, and Newt’s in his office bundled up in a sweatshirt (because the heat never seems to fucking work in here), revising a draft of an exam, and dreading the thought of trudging home in the snow, when there’s suddenly a knock at his door. Anticipating some overeager freshman here outside of office hours, he doesn’t look up as he says “Come in.”

A familiar clearing of a throat.

Newt shoots straight up to his feet. He knocks a mug of coffee to the floor in the process. “Hermann,” he says. “Uh. Hi. What--what are you doing here?”

Hermann shuts the door behind him, then takes a careful step forward. He’s back in his big dumb coat and big long scarf. “I thought I ought to tell you myself first,” he says, primly. “I’ve submitted a request to the dean to be reassigned to another professor next semester. Our research interests are far more in line, and I don’t imagine our personalities shall clash as much.”

“Oh,” Newt says, pretending his heart isn't sinking in his chest like a hunk of lead. Was he that bad of a kisser? He feels like he deserves a second shot at it--he wasn’t ready last time, you know, he bets he’d really wow Hermann if he had a fair heads up. “Are.. are those the only reasons why?”

“No,” Hermann admits. “They’re not.”

He crosses the room, and corners Newt against his desk before Newt even realizes what’s happening. “They’re not,” he says again, then adds in a murmur (lifting one hand to brush his fingers against Newt’s hair), “Dr. Geiszler.”

Neither of them talk much, after that.

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag #thxstral

[eva-novakov]

Bio

I’m doing this more of a ‘get to know you’ combined with dossier.

 Name: Eva Novikov  (Her name means “full life”, this is appropriate bc she sure is full of that) 

Age: 29 

Hair: sometimes light brown sometimes sandy blonde 

Eyes: light blue. One would say they literally sparkle when she’s happy. 

Specialization: N7 Fury 

 Orphaned, doesn’t know who her parents are/were. Biotics manifested at a very early age and they were so strong she got attracted the attention of an Alliance biotics program that recruited her so has basically grown up in that organization. Alliance “lifer.” SUPER strong biotics. Like off the charts, so Fury specialization was a logical choice at ICT and she excelled at it very quickly. She fell in love with the fighting style, which supports her personality. She was one of the youngest to graduate. Her weak point is using weapons and will only use them as a last resort, straight biotics are her go-to. 

 She is an expert at hand to hand combat and acrobatics. A fury’s fighting style is basically to warp/charge to an enemy, use the full force of her biotic power for either an unarmed strike, or priming them with sort of a ticking biotics bomb, so she can detonate it after she has flipped away. She can do this at any time of her choosing, and the ‘bombs’ also detonate off of each other,  so she could take out relatively large groups of enemies by herself with staggered , chain reaction explosions. Shields though, are a problem.

Quick run down of ‘how she is’: A strong appreciation for life (meaning she wants to learn and experience everything, not that she’s all hyper and jumpy). She wants to taste everything and close her eyes and experience every sense and every thing she feels at that moment. Outwardly shows no fear. (Speaking of, she’s afraid of heights, and giving her heart away). Called a tornado by those who know her well, (which aren’t many, if any), she flies in and out as she pleases. She never intentionally causes the destruction that sometimes follows. She’s hard and quiet most of the time, especially if she doesn’t know you, a byproduct of growing up having no one but herself to look out for her. She was screwed over one too many times by people to be easily trusting. But inside she is a big pile of sweet mushy goo. If she smiles that smile at you, or gives you that one specific twinkle-laugh, you know you’ve made it past her barriers. She doesn’t give them away easily. She grew up with no roots, so she doesn’t particularly want to put any down. She doesn’t need much, is not about material things. If alone, she sleeps with a stuffed animal that is the only thing she has from wherever she came from, she had it when she was found, but no one can know this upon pain of death because she’s a badass bitch that don’t need no stuffed plushy to cuddle with ok?

Interests: Astrology. Classical music and the ‘arts’.  Goes to any beach whenever she can. Basically wishes she was a mermaid. Obviously physical fitness, that’s kind of a requirement if she wants to live. Besides biotics, she doesn’t really truly excel at anything, but is ‘good’ at a lot of different hobbies/specialties, wanting to dabble in everything (photography, writing, drawing, etc). This reason alone is why she wishes she could live forever.

Likes: I hate this question I mean OBVIOUSLY PPLE LIKE A LOT OF THINGS but I guess right off the top of my head: Sunrises & sunsets (I didn’t know both night AND morning people existed, yet here we are), broccoli (idk man she’s weird, she loves the fact that she’s eating ‘little trees’) She’s a super healthy eater – marie sideeyes her-.  Soft spot for orphans. 

Dislikes: SAME OPINION AS ‘LIKES’. Anyone who takes advantage of someone, that dang tooth of hers, making decisions (she was def not born to be a leader) I’

#eva novakov #about eva

[badheart]

So having chatted about it today, let me delve into Kugo’s gay side. It is not frowned upon, homosexuality was even a thing in the past of Japan, like by the Samurai. But it still can have some sort of taboo vibes, you won’t really talk about it openly. To sum it super roughly up.  

Either way, he actually bi (but gay, feels sometimes like a term for it all, idk) but right now, I want to talk about his preference for guys, which clearly went downhill once he got older, considering how fixated he is on women then. As kid, he always got more along with boys, he could be more honest with them and not hold back, girls need to be treated respectfully and nicely, that much could his mother still teach him before she left and with that, he clearly lost an important role in his life (considering there was no one anymore who would really bother to tell him what is okay and what is not, his father certainly did not)

Some early hints had been there, he actually liked dressing up in more fancy stuff. His mother sure caught him more than once playing with her dresses. Reminder, she is from India, of course, she owns some sari and fancy garments with a lot of patterns, glitter and everything. Any kid would love that. Both his parents were slightly irked about it, considering apart of it, Kugo acted like a typical boy. Though to that age, still more friendly. He was a cute kid, got mostly along nicely with the others

// We all know Kugo is pale as fuck in canon, but surely you have noticed, I have been drawing him more darker since a while, due to his indian side (a hc), so definitely need to fix my about evtl. Looking at documentaries, stories, Mixed Race in Japan have it sometimes harder too, some are lucky, some are not and have to face actual discrimination. 

Perhaps, he even used the lipstick of his mother once, just being playful, curious and sure as hell finding it pretty. This was eventually not tolerated anymore, though the reasons as of why, still confused him, though he had to admit, he had not met any other boy yet, who held the same interest. Kugo was not the deep thinker now though and would not really question himself. He was simply different, that was all. Also when his mother left, there was nothing left from her belongings anymore. Since then, he was pissed at his parents anyway and adapted a more rebellious style. But you can still experience his love for fancy outfits & such later. Not really on himself anymore, but on others. He loves make-up on women and revealing outfits, but also less revealing, if they are very nicely decorated like a sari and even kimono, which he won’t admit so quickly. Also he developed a certain liking towards roleplay, even slipping into specific outfit for it. Seeing men with make-up irritates him, that this is really something they still do now, but if it looks good, he gonna like it but if it is too much, nope. Not anymore. I think a Drag Queen could intimidate him as they usually look super fancy and over-done but are prideful as heck in what they do. His deep respect for that, personally he actually started to care about society, trying to keep up a certain image of a man. But also for himself, for him it embodies strength and certainly (due to society) more people will take him more seriously. The most fancy stuff you will see him wearing now are fancy, colourful shirts, which can have all kind of pattern but he actually prefers flowers. With still wearing mostly dark clothing though, it will remain rather subtle.

As he became older, it became more clear to him, that he really preferred the company of other boys more than girls. Though, he would still interact with some girls too, of course and find them pretty. But on a more emotional level, he felt at first closer to boys.

This was not something, he had ever really voiced to his father or to anyone, though there was the small desire to share it. And sometimes there was indeed the wish his father would care more about him again.

His first crush, he had with 16 and that was a 19 year old boy called Jian. More here. Either way, after that relationship ended, he was devastated, as he had actually loved him, though if it really was real in the end is another question, he really is never too sure but he definitely knows, that Jian had been important to him and that he had enjoyed to be with him. After him, Kugo would maybe still try his luck with boys, but more on a sexual level but his confidence was certainly slacking. He could perfectly make out with them, but if it ever came to the actual act, he got difficulties or even left. Too much pressure, while he was not loving them now, it was still important to him (as he is a pleaser - despite his ego, or especially because of his ego - because what kind of man would he be, if he does not manage to please his partner?) And for the act, he really lacked the confidence and experience, so it was always a bit weird too. 

In the end, he would still flirt but even that became a rarity as he began to focus on girls from now on and that had been a far more pleasant experience, and easier. Must sound bit weird now, but their genital is certainly more made to be entered than the ass. Additionally, he felt more in control, even if a girl were more on the dominant side, though he developed a tendency to avoid those. One can still catch him off guard if done well. 

Thanks to all the women though, he also became more confident in gay sex again (but it really was a rarity in his life), though it is still possible to notice a certain insecurity and he would never bed a male virgin (unless they turn out to be the love of his life), for that he really is not the best partner in his opinion. He really targets more experienced men then, reasons he developed a liking for slightly more older ones then. By guys, he really searches for more experienced ones. Younger types only, when they got a punk look, that is a style, he is still secretly (or not) weak to, but even there, preferably someone more experienced, who has no issue to prepare themselves.

Kugo is not overly open about that side, though if it comes up, he will talk casually about it, but yeah otherwise, he will rarely mention his affairs with guys, he really speaks more of all the women he has dated, rarely dropping any hints about any guys. Even if he talks about his one love/crush, which is rare, he tends to hide his gender at first. He is not ashamed of this side, liking men, but he is not living it so much out either anymore. 

#✖cution ━ ❛ hc. #whew

[unproduciblesmackdown]

let's see those Prime Numbers for the ask meme

2) favorite albums?

well i was Ready for kesha’s album Warrior to come out in iiii think it was the end of 2012 or early 2013?? i snuck out to that tour in dc that summer also. totally solid album and it was fun to have something so fun during a totally Not Fun period lol. i was also pretty into owl city at the exact same time lmao, that’s Blatantly for when you’re depressed lol...and i also eventually saw that guy on tour when a new album came out in 2015, and that was fun too, and was Enjoying Myself a factor in the tipping point of “ah jeez i gots 2 get outta here” that i had in the next month? maybe! and uhhh i listened a lot to the phoenix te amo album. that one wasnt tied to anything at all but i have heard it So much. super short and also rock solid and relistenable. and then here we are and the bmc obcr is a gift to the world b/c a) it exists and b) Cuz It All Slaps and c) it’s so fun to either sing or dance along, or cry along if it’s the agtikbi reprise and d) lgw... and e) all the eternal, well-mixed wroland vocals

3) favorite memes?

oh god lmao idk......real earlier 10s stuff was the I Say Hey he-man meme, and the “that really rustles my jimmies” meme which was real underrated......there’s been plenty of Memes where i’ve been like “this one is funny to me Every Time” but of course now looking back on it it’s like. what’s a meme??? Vine

(skipping 5 & 11 cuz that’s the Entirety of someone else’s ask and i don’t wanna just have to scrap theirs completely and i’ll get to it next!!)

11) favorite fanarts?

you know what, there’s continuously been a ton of amazing fanart where i’m like, i’m so glad i’m seeing this, & this is Artistic Fuel, and marge simpson anime has really been just this Standout Experience lmao like......idk for as Inspiring as it is, there’s only a couple things i’ve drawn that are Directly inspired, but i just flip for it all the time and like, it’s supremely expressive and like, comics that aren’t chronological but more like a Collage Of a Moment / Concept which i think is super cool and also i love when stuff reminds me that it doesn’t have to look ~super cleaned up~ to look great.

13) favorite people you know?

oh god this one really got out of control lol i started like, talking about everyone ever from this past decade. so for Convenience i’m interpreting this as “people *i* know, but they don’t know me” so that i can cheat and say will roland, voted person of the year 2019. by extension, essential supporting crew who helped us reach this point, like john simpkins or joe iconis. leave it at that!! it’s 5am and you know i’m not lying. who knew where going “wow, This guy” in late 2018 would have so much Value.

17) a fandom you wish more people were in/you had more people to talk to about?

oof hmm.......amnesia tdd didn’t really have a “fandom” even though it obviously got a lot of attention, it’dve been fun if it had though lol. it’s tricky to answer this one cuz i always prefer like, smaller fandoms and/or finding the Niche or some other way of just like, interacting with a small corner of things, so i’m never like wow god damn wish i’d been absolutely in the thick of it with this thing. i’ve been in Corners n Niches and it’s been fine by me, really

19) a fandom that you had the best time in?

HMM lol.........marble hornets sure was fun but like, a lot of that was just the content itself and not necessarily The Fan Experience, tho i sure got a lot out of it in a ton of ways. i mean tbh that’s true of each thing i’ve really Gotten Into majorly, i go hard af and then walk out the other side with these #connections or #experiences like whoa where’d these come from lol!! but really like, overall, i’m probably having the best time right now. the “fandom” is basically just our agenda lmao but like i said i’m always having the best time when it’s a pretty niche deal, And the sheer variety of Contents n Characters to draw from here is super nice, and the fact that it’s like, oh yeah and i’m finally recognizing this should’ve-been-obvious entire Passionne i’ve had since always, and that’s great too, and like, also just having the Variety Of Live / Current Unfoldings that go down.....like, everyone havin fun with the Joe Iconis Xmas Xtrav was entirely great. and just the Engagement level is basically the best, cuz like there’s the times where maybe i’ll get a zillion notes and that’s definitely fun in its own way but i always enjoy just the way smaller amount of ppl who are Particularly Enthusiastic, and like, there’s times where like, maybe i’m *technically* in this larger circle of ppl but like, totally more of like a Tangent or peripheral to that circle or whatever lol........this feels like a really solid balance of like, being sorta in this orbit of people in a chill way, but also definitely the direct interactions Existing, which is always important lol but hasn’t always been a constant throughout my Fandom Experiences at all

23) who were you at the beginning of this decade?

2009-2010 was a real distinct year lol i was in my second year of college in the middle of my teens, when i’d hardly really been getting to Explore My Interests Freely up to that point and still wasn’t, but all of a sudden it’s like goddamn i have to figure out my major???? and i’m like, obviously in the middle of only just now Really getting to figure out my identity in this deeper and more genuine way, thanks to being lucky enough to Live On Campus and be away from home like, 2/3 of the year, but i was just like, oh god i’m in Stress Hell now all the time cuz like. i’m trying to figure out my whole thing and what my ~Career~ should be and i just have no idea but am like, trying super hard all the time lol it was not successful and i was just really stressed about it all the time. i was def quieter back then.....pretty lonely at the time, i did not get into mh and gain the presence of any Online Friends until late 2010, and i hadn’t yet been sort of accepted by a small faction of theatre people via my roommate’s connections.....i wasn’t at all Out yet, and was def In Progress of figuring it all out.....i didn’t have nearly the Self-Esteem i have now lmao, it was Not a great time and in a lot of ways ‘09-’10 was the start of a downturn into Worse Than Usual Times, though in Other ways it was definitely an upturn lol like. the latter related to stuff that was important to me / who i am, the former tied to the situations i was in and the godawful morale that resulted

29) a time when the worst case scenario happened but you pulled through?

well by the end of 2012 i had my Wrath Parent deluxe mad at me big time, AND i was stuck at home all of thee time with that (not at all hours but. every day.) it was terrible!!! tf was going on in 2013, cuz that shit was definitely like, a gross blur of a lot of indistinct misery. and then, relatedly, when it was so shitty in 2015 that i was like fantastic, i am so officially sick of this i’m outta here. i revisited some Misery Posts from that period lately for someone stranger on twitter’s project or something, and boy i was having a bad time Summer Of ‘15 lol, things not getting better at home And a job that was so shitty that it was like..................bye. lol. and then i spent a year living out of a minivan. which was real lucky in ways b/c like. infinitely better than if i had not had that minivan. and when that broke down i was also then lucky enough to have this friend who was relatively nearby who’d also been willing to just like, set me up to Not have to ask the lgbt center where that trans-friendly forest zone a couple cities over was. nothing as dramatic as it could’ve been, fortunately

31) a time you were scared?

hmmm when leaving The Parents Home overnight, that was intimidating. bit of completely jumping into the unknown there, and also like, when you spend your lifetime assuming that Someone’s Arbitrary Wrath will be uponst you always, it’s hard to shake that sense of dread and doom, like ah jeez i am really potentially bringing hell on myself here........and like i mentioned with Start Of The Decade, there was just a ton of fear there all the time lol, trying to figure out virtually overnight The Whole Of Who I Am And What I Want when i’d only just even gotten to start......also i wanna say i maybe came out in 2011?? and i sort of also felt obligated to come out to my parents also (plus i think i was giving them like, one last chance to surprise me and be decent and kind of Grow Up themselves even tho i was the like, 16 y.o.) which yknow, kids you do not have to come out to anyone at all. someone was talking the other day abt how they didn’t think lgbtq “discourse” had evolved as much as you’d hope over the past decade, but idk about that, it's only a little bit of a wildly complex topic, and for starters Online Trans “Discourse” of a decade back was wayyyyyy in a vastly different place than it is now, leaps and strides really. so the way to ~really~ do it was presented kind of more rigidly i think. anyways i did it via email and was incredibly stressed to even open the reply a couple days later lol......which ended up being really weird and vague, and then there was a phone call where no one brought it up, and the only result was increased ire and resentment :( ........and then there was still like, cops encounters! near or not-as-bad-as-they-could’ve-been vehicular collisions! but tbh generally my reaction to the latter was underwhelming, except for one particular time when i was a passenger and also tense af for the rest of the ride. that’s it for Immediate fear really lol......oh wait one time i was at this decent sized Convention Panel Event and when i’m nervous i can Only talk more (it’s possible!!) and i snuck into line for the q&a and Right when i got to the mic (intimidating) they were like oop we’re low on time, lightning round!! :’] that was obviously more just a crapton of l’anxiete

37) a fashion that fell out of style that you wish would make a resurgence?

were Gladiator sandals this decade? the strappy deals that like, went up the ankles / calves? that was in fashion for a year or two and i’m into it. i like sandals and that kind of drama

41) something you learned a lot that not a lot of other people might know about?

i don’t know that i learned way a lot of anything that’s real in-depth knowledge and niche lore.........i have learned Nothing

43) an important relationship (of any kind) you had?

i had???? lmao well either way let’s say current relationships count and like, pretty much everyone in my Sphere i value a lot! i never like, have or have had a ~close~ ring of ppl around me lol like i thought it was lucky if i talked to someone Every Day (and not at all the Usual thing) and now it’s more likely that i talk to two people every day and maybe that sounds sarcastic but it’s not at all lol. i know my social stats aren’t impressive but i so appreciate what i get to enjoy and have. and other Connections might be way more like, we are friendly acquaintances, we talk on rare occasions, we haven’t talked at all in ages, we talk but only to trade cute pics of cats, Etc etc, but i seriously do appreciate all of everyone who’s cool who i get to interact with in any way and like, be in each other’s spheres and Not just like, absolutely on nobody’s radar. also obviously soph you are here in that list in case i wasn’t implying it good enough lol it is 5am and god knows deciphering what i say at any time can be its own challenge.....ur Epic Highs and Lows of bmc 3.0 is so good lmao

#hell yeah tysm now also i should go for Passing Outs #(where you pass out like knocking out) #thank you Three Other Asks i see and appreciate it as well #oh wait shit four!!! #lol #it's 5:20am bed time bitch all day hit the hay #i forget what i say here i've been on and off doing whatever for the past 5 hrs obviously lmao #nothingunrealistic1

[thirdmagic]

giant rambly walls of text post of headcanons and theories and general thoughts on david, roman and solomon ft lots of extrapolation

first of all, i basically think of archer david as like... if 'lazy cheerful mcdonlads loving manchild in a yukata dad' kerry got summoned into the body of his child self and went 'oh wow this is before Everything in my life went horribly wrong it almost feels like all that never happened!!' and got into it enough to try to recreate what he was like as a child. which i realize is a hilariously weird mental image but a close enough comparison. it's just in this case the difference isn't '30 year old and 10 year old (at most)' but '60-70 something very old man and late teens/early twenties'. on the surface level this david is much more David The Humble Nobody Shepherd Boy Who Beat A Giant then David The Anointed Powerful King, because most of the stuff this version draws on in his NP and skills are from this aspect of him. but it's also clearly very much not the same case as other younger/child servants. most younger versions are aware of their older selves and what happens to them in the future but aren't those people and haven't personally experienced these futures. but nearly everything david does talk about, experiences he calls back to, people he talks about, is stuff from his time on the throne. he talks about this time as something that happened to him personally. so this isn't really baby shepherd david even though his servant container draws on these aspects of him, it's David The King in the body of baby shepherd david.

but what i find most interesting, is that he seems to really play into this image/role... like it's a deliberate choice/preference on his part or something consciously cultivated. there's what he says is tamacat's interlude, but also his my room line that outright has him saying 'sure i used to be a king, but don't worry about it, it's whatever, i'm just a shepherd now and i want to take this chance as a servant to be just that'. the impression is that he's very much trying to distance himself from his king-self and that entire part of his life which is... in its own way a lost cause and he probably does this knowing it's a lost cause, given that's what he spent the majority of his life doing and how everything he calls back to is from that life. that shepherd boy is just not the person he is anymore and hasn't been for a long time, but i think that's why he prefers to be summoned in this specific physical form and in this specific class that draws on this part of his life- the servant container/class makes it easier to act the part, to put that undesirable aspect of himself aside. so long as he's not summoned as a king he doesn't need to act like one nor feel like he has the responsibilities of one. and being a king clearly kind of sucked as far as he’s concerned.

now i mentioned before that biblical david is super kerrycore so while i don't know how much fate would even want to incorporate this side of the original version... idk, i'm really into the idea and think it's just potentially super interesting to take this parallel full circle and for david the king to be the figurative equivalent to cold blooded assassin magus killer kerry. it gives extra weight to why he'd want to just put aside this part of his life and lean in fully into a whole other role/identity that has nothing to do with kingship and why he acts Extra carefree and frivolous: because he spent most of his life as everything but that. because he couldn't be this way so long as he acted as king, because the responsibility and the role demanded that he had to suppress this aspect of himself and also that he act in ways he might not have really wanted to even as he understood that it was needed. he was good at doing the dirty and unpleasant stuff and he understood the necessity of it; he had a talent for it, in a sense, even if it wasn't a talent for something he liked or enjoyed. it goes well with him talking about how he dislikes battle in conjunction to how he was a very military focused leader-- something he never wanted to engage in or do, but that the role of the king demanded of him.

because his biblical depiction is from the very start, from the first goliath story, more of a cunning politician and warrior than anything else. he's subtle, sly and calculating, not afraid to get his hands dirty and do undignified things to get where he needs to, and very conscious and aware of all that goes around him, including how he's seen by other people and how he needs to act as if he were in front of an audience. he finds creative and subtle ways to get around most problems, but he also knows when a problem is best solved violently and doesn't hesitate to commit to that solution. (most unlike fate david though, he's also super hot-tempered and fairly quick to Stabbity Stab if someone pissed him off lmao and has to be talked down at least once from Doing A Murder)

this is compounded by how, in general, the narrative very very often leaves us in the dark about what he's really feeling or thinking in a lot of pivotal moments and leaves us often to wonder about his sincerity and true motivations. his story in the bible is essentially the unraveling of this kind of hyper competent and skilled person as he gets more and more exposed to the reader emotionally and personally, as we see more and more of his weakness and vulnerability and his real flawed and imperfect core is revealed. the narrative is at once both critical of him while still remaining firmly on his side and sympathetic towards him, and the main thing that keeps him sympathetic as a character in this way, through his darkest moments and most questionable behavior, is that he's 1) unquestionably devoted to God and nearly flawlessly pious, which is for obvious reasons a significant virtue for both the original writer and the original audience the narrative was meant for, and 2) very good at handling criticism, accepting that he made mistakes, and making amends/fixing things when he needs to. which he does a lot of.

so basically, yeah: ruthless stabby killer who's a clever and sly pragmatist, but also a Sad and vulnerable dad. that's what i meant lmao that's the exact same aesthetic as kerry.

and something you'll find pointed out very, very often by any literary analysis or any analysis at all, is his humanity; it's something that can be ascribed to many, many biblical characters but is applied to him as a defining trait in particular. and that's.... even better and gets even more interesting for fate david specifically when pitted against solomon, the perfect, flawless inhuman king. there's a consistent thematic thread in fate of being an ideal vs being a human being, especially for kings and other types of leaders, and in this context i think you can do a lot with david as someone who, instead of giving in/fully committing to one at the expense of the other, went for a balance between the two-- and struggled with that balance. he succeeded in many ways as a king and was good at it, but in some ways he lost that struggle because he failed to find that balance and gave in to humanity at the worst of times, and it's those moments which led to both his biggest mistakes and his biggest tragedies. it's interesting to me because it's different from the patterns that characters like kerry and saber establish, and it offers a perspective on this dilemma that also explains why people like them commit to this all-or-nothing approach to it.

and it's also interesting to me to compare to solomon, but especially the fact that when put in context-- that god sees david and decides to make solomon the way he is seemingly in response-- the implication is one of a background 'story' that's very consistent to an interesting pattern about god in genesis: that he's always trying out new ways to interact with this world he created through humanity and having to retry after each one attempt doesn’t quite go well. he started with adam and eve and they disobeyed him, when he tried to with all of humanity and when they turned away from him and degenerated morally he had to destroy them all with the flood. then he tried to create this connection/interaction through just one person and then just one nation from this person, and that's how he came to form the covenant with us. humans are constantly ruining his plans and he's constantly having to adjust and try or test new things. and i like the idea that he's also trying to do something similar with the kings and leaders he appointed to this chosen nation; he tried with the judges who were all scattered leaders that couldn't unite the tribes, then tried with saul who was just kind of a weak leader and king in general and couldn't handle it, tried with david, and then looked at him and went, okay, i did pretty well with this one, he's served me well but it's still not what i need. so, god reasons, if his problem is that his humanity was what got in the way then clearly the problem is that i look to humans as my representatives in the world. so clearly i need someone who can interact with humans and the human world as one of them but won't have their flaws. and so that gives us some background to and explains solomon's circumstances.

now in fgo itself the exact circumstances of solomon's birth and why he was born as he was are kind of vague, and i haven't seen anything in materials or other canon sources to elaborate (Dark Nasu, Show Me The Forbidden Solomon Backstory) but the one, somewhat cryptic line we're given to explain is that he was offered by david to god to make him into a greater king than he was. that's not exactly what happened in the original story but not really wrong either. it's a fairly legit and logical take on what happened there imo. what we're told is that god looked at baby solomon and went 'oh yeah, this kid seems pretty legit, i like this one' (when he was already born, not before that), and through a prophet, gives him a second name that literally means 'friend to god'. then, many, many chapters later, when david is old as balls and senile and slowly dying and there's a succession crisis blooming, nathan (who was the one that gave solomon his second name, as this part of the story’s acting prophet) has bathsheba resolve it by, ahem, 'reminding' him that he promised her that solomon will succeed him. and it's kind of Highly Conspicuous that we have never seen nor been told that this promise happened in the one part of the narration where it would have been most relevant to include so it's not out of the question that nathan had her persuade him of something that never happened because he was kind of very malleable at that point and with shit going down in court they needed a fast solution.

with that in mind i think fate goes under the assumption that this promise was actually real, and that the only major difference here outside of the magic/nasuverse specific elements is that solomon being chosen this way was something that happened before he was actually born, so it connected the two and combined them with how he's characterized in the chapters afterwards as the Good Flawless King and then with all sort of external sources that i can't really speak of since they’re not my area. the other main difference is the implication that david actually played a part in solomon's divine kingly destiny and planned on him being king from the start and specifically offered for god to raise him as such. and there's precedent for something like that with samuel who basically got offered by his mother to be raised as a divine prophet/judge, and the circumstances are more or less similar. samuel was offered by his mother to be in service to god and was raised by priests, which is close enough to being raised by god i guess? but he was totally separated from his parents, and he was definitely absolutely not inhumanly flawless lmao. so i think what david offered is roughly to the extent of 'i will give you my son to raise as his father instead of me, so you could raise him into the kind of king i couldn't be, while i'll stay out of his life so you can do your thing with him as you need'. and with samuel as an example for a similair offer/deal, i think he was expecting a normal human child, just one who'd grow up into a very skilled, competent king and without david's own flaws. and i imagine he was not planning on how it actually turned out for everyone involved.

and as for the reason why he even made the offer in the first place, i chose to look to the promise as the hint to the answer: at least part of it should likely be piousness and sincerely wanting to provide god with the kind of person he couldn't be, but it also means bathsheba, who became his wife under less then ideal circumstances and who lost both her husband and the first child she ever had and that should have been her husband's to his actions and his punishment, has guaranteed protection under her status as the king's mother and isn't thrown to the wolves when he dies, which is the issue she appeals to when she asks him to officially appoint solomon as his successor. being the king's mother gives her control and power in a world where she'd otherwise be in a very precarious position. theeeeeeeeennnn there's also some tradition-- i don’t remember much but i know it exists-- that claims she was his Favorite of his wives, probably for shallow reasons, though i don't think there's much internal textual evidence of that, but that's also A Thought. (i'm just saying, if they ended up developing an actually good connection and ended up loving each other for real that'd be a fascinating and very nasu twist but idk if i'm officially adopting that as my hc yet)

then there's the question of david's relationship to solomon.... there's different takes on it, from what i've seen in fancomics and stuff that does have transltions, and what i managed to understand from untranslated stuff. one interesting one is that david emotionally distanced himself as a result of the trauma of losing the baby from his initial affair with bathsheba, so he kept this distance from the second son he had with her so as to avoid something like that again-- -out of fear he'll lose him again if he allows himself to get emotionally attached. it's a trauma that would certainly be compounded after he lost tamar, amnon and then absalom and how that entire incident really broke him. i don't know if i totally subscribe to that but i think it's on to something.

in general i think of david as not a cruel or abusive father but definitely an emotionally distant one and not very actively present in his children's lives. the struggle of balancing being a king and being a human being had a wrench thrown in it when among all the roles he had to play came up the role of a father, which he just had zero understanding of how to approach or how it fits in with that balance-- the inhuman role of a king and the very human role of father are far more difficult to separate in the world of politics and the court, for him. drawing in from the source text, even in the bible you get the strong sense that he's not very attentive at the best of times, but the moment he loses any of his children, his grief is almost always overwhelming and unsubtle, even if it always manifests differently. in fgo materials their relationship is described as an indifferent one, which is to say, it's not a bad relationship because there's not much of a relationship at all to be good or bad, and i think it was sort of the case with most of his relationships with his children. of course, i also doubt there were absolutely no feelings or affection involved and that it was a totally apathetic one-- on david's part at least. solomon would have been given no room for human attachments such as family or the involved feelings, which means he'd also not feel the pain of the absence of such a thing or the need to have it. if he was given room to feel any sort of familial affection, it's likely a very shallow, vague one.

roman, i think, probably just has a lot of very complicated feelings on it that he's not sure what to do with and doesn't himself really understand. i also think this distance also means he never really understood david or was given the chance to, or, due to his own nature, been given any reason to want to. the absence of this relationship is something he feels in this new human life and understands that it was there and that it was not a good thing, but in a very vague way he's doesn't have the words for; he feels disconnected from it all because even as solomon he was very emotionally disconnected from his family and all that happened in it. and now there's the amount of time has passed and how long ago it would have been for him and how overall irrelevant it all ended up being for him... that david wasn't much of a father to him ends up not mattering much in practice because everything would have turned out the same even if he was, and it's hard to miss something he never felt he ever actually had. he knows there's an absence but doesn't feel it because solomon didn't feel it, and roman never got to experience any of it as roman.

and then he actually gets to meet david again thanks to chaldea. which is completely different as a human being with, like, Feelings, when you have all this knowledge in mind, and to look at a real breathing living human (figuratively speaking) right in front of you and for that person to register as Father in your head is a completely different experience then. it goes from a sort of vague, disconnected regret to a real, emotional understanding of what it is to have a father you never managed to connect to and who kept a distance from you for reasons you don’t understand, and then having the chance to form a connection, all while trying to figure out what the heck is going on with him because he's nothing like what you remember in life.

basically i think the first thing roman thought when he saw david was roughly something like 'whomst the fuckest is [waves hands vaguely] this guy because that is so not my dad', and it slowly segued into 'okay no now i see it, that's closer to the sort of things he'd say or do, but still, what the fuck'. he starts seeing david in an entirely new way on one hand after being exposed to this completely different side to him, but it's also confusing to re-contextualize with all his memories of him and how different he is. the last time they talked, david was on his deathbed giving him a list of people he wants him to murder the shit out of, and another list of people he absolutely does not want him to murder, and his last words were basically 'i leave it up to you how you'll do it legally but i need you to kill that motherfucker dead'. his last moments on the earth he still spent not as a father speaking to a son, but as a king to his successor. ... which suddenly he can also bring himself to feel actual strong feelings about when all of this begin to feel much more personal and much less distant, and also makes the absence of this relationship actually feel tangible, including the feelings of vague regret, maybe a desire to reconnect and to really develop this relationship now that he has the chance to actually know his dad, maybe even some kind of affection for the man-- and when it starts going there that's when he panics because he was not asking for this and does not want these feelings they're really bad and horribly inconvenient this is literally the worst time to be awakening to them!!!!!!

it's all a moot point, of course, because he can't even if he admitted to himself that he wanted to; he can't afford the risk of anyone that's not da vinci knowing, much less someone like this person who he doesn't really know or understand and wouldn't have his trust even under normal circumstances. but and in between all these considerations, he looks at david and wonders about him, wonders how to talk to him-- he  knows how to talk, as solomon, to His Majesty The King or to his father the king, but he doesn't know how to talk as a human being to someone he knows to be his father, person to person. he's both familiar and a complete stranger, and talking to him is just a source of headaches not just because of his general personality but because of this particular dissonance. and it's worse because he's also completely undecipherable and he can't tell what he's thinking at least half the time. as easy it might be to dismiss him and think there's nothing beyond what's going on on the surface, he still knows his dad well enough to understand that this is just not the case. and there's a lot of hindsight reflection over his childhood memories and of everything he does remember and in some way putting these things in a new context.

in practice how this manifests is really mostly that he just sort of hovers just outside his orbit, wanting to approach but avoiding at the last second, thinking all these things but not really doing anything beyond that, at one avoiding him and still being unable to resist the urge to engage with him anyway.

.... anyway this post got way way too big and i'm not sure how to end it, but these are almost all the thoughts/hcs i’ve developed for the past year or so. maybe a few minor things i missed or forgot.

#fgo tag #what if we made the emiyas more tragic #thinky thoughts

[purplesurveys]

474

Tumblr makes the spacing kinda weird by the end, idk why but I hope it gets better for everyone else who wants to take this haha.

ONE - HI THERE! It’s an intro!

What do most people call you? Robyn. In what month is your birthday? April. What country were you born in? The beautiful but politically miserable Philippines. Do you have siblings? How many, if you do? I do; I have two. I’m the eldest, but they aren’t that far off from me. Who do you live with? I’m still studying so I’m living with family for now – mom and dad, a sister and a brother, and a dog. I really want to move out in the next couple of years though.

Are you in a relationship? Yes. Do you go to school? As I said, yes. I’m in university but I’m supposed to graduate next year. What mood are you in right now? Well, I wrapped up my internship last week and my entire weekend was booked with stuff I did, so now I’m just super glad to be home and bum around after all that hectic-ness. I just had 8 hours of sleep and am feeling pretty well-rested right now. What does your shirt look like? I’m wearing a big-ass gray Knicks sweater that’s like 3 sizes bigger for me. What’s your zodiac sign? Taurus.

TWO - Your Appearance

If you could have plastic surgery on any one body part, what would it be?Boobs. They’re so abnormally small that I’m tired of having to waste what would have been completely bomb outfits just because of my chest.

Are you satisfied with your hair? It could have less baby hair, honestly. But I’m fine with it for the most part.

Do you have a hitchhikers or a straight thumb? It’s a straight thumb. My left pinky is quite crooked though.

What colour are your eyes? Dark brown.

Do you have any tan lines? No, I haven’t gone to the beach in a while.

How old do people usually think you are? I just asked this question to Gabie last week and she said that I look 15.

What about your appearance do you get complimented on the most? Face and my overall figure.

Are you comfortable with your weight? Sure, but it’s always worrisome when I get to the lower 90s.

Do you have any piercings or tattoos? Where? Yeah, just the basic earlobes piercings that my parents got for me when I was a couple of months old.

How tall are you? I am 5′1″ and a half. I’m shorter than 5′2″, that’s for sure.

THREE - True or False

I love winter. Neither true or false as I have never experienced snow. I think I’d love it though.

I have eaten meat in the past five days. True. Filipinos eat meat a lot.

I have painted a room in a house. False. My mom is so controlling over adult things like that so she hired people to do it to all our rooms.

I can whistle. True. I learned pretty early.

My keyboard is black. True-ish? The buttons are black, but the spaces between them are silver.

I have never bought something off an infomercial. True. My mom would be so furious because it would be her money anyway.

I own a snuggie / would like to own a snuggie. False.

I bite my pens / pencils. False. I do bite my straws though.

I wear glasses / contacts. True.

My nails are painted right now. False.

FOUR - Childhood Memories!

What was your all time favourite movie as a kid? THE GAME PLAN, without a shadow of a doubt. Watched that shit everyday through third and fourth grade. My runner-up would be High School Musical.

Do you still have your first pair of shoes somewhere? Doubt it. My mom isn’t big on memories like me.

Did you have anything you always dragged around the house, like a blanket?Nope. I did use my parents’ blanket as a cape some days, and other days it would be a gown train and I’d pretend I was the Queen, but I wouldn’t drag it because it would get dirty.

What toy did you play with the most? I was always into grownup stuff so I always got kitchen appliances, dollhouses, etc. I once had toys that mimicked a pizza restaurant and it had a pizza roller and it was super fun for me haha. Once I got a pretend cash register though it was game over for all these bitches.

Did you ever bring your favourite toys in the bathtub? We didn’t have a bathtub, but yeah we would bring in our toys when we would shower.

Did you used to take baths with siblings/cousins? ^ Ooh, barely missed it. Yes, we did.

Are you still friends with your best friends from long ago? A handful are still my best friends. I keep in touch with most of my batchmates from my high school because we’re all close and we’re family and there was generally very little drama – and if there was, it was easy to let go.

Do your parents ever tell you stories about how cute/silly you were? They have several stories, but I was mostly a quiet kid who didn’t like getting in trouble.

Did you go to the park often? What was a typical outfit for the 5-year-old you?Blouses with a girly pattern, denim jeans, and Nike rubber shoes. The top always has to be tucked in.

FIVE - FAVOURITES

Actor/Actress: Kate Winslet

Singer/Band/Both: Beyonce / Paramore

Chocolate: Reese’s

Toothpaste: ??? Whatever we have at home I guess?

Picture of yourself: Nah man, not doing that here.

Pair of sunglasses: I don’t have a favorite.

Vegetable: Broccoli!

Sandwich: Monte Cristo

Aspect of nature: Waterfalls

Word to say: “Literally”

SIX - Love Life ;)

Who was the first person to ever ask you out? No one’s ever asked me out before. Although I think that dude from one of my classes in sophomore year intended to…but I dunno. We were paired up together for this class and he wanted to spend time with me in a coffee shop after our work was done; I didn’t feel comfortable just being by myself so I told him in advance that I was gonna be bringing Gabie…never heard from him ever again :/

What does your ideal date consist of? Dinner somewhere nice (Italian or Japanese) should be enough for me.

What’s one thing your partner must be able to accept about you? I get sad and I’ll need loooooooong stretches of time alone some days.

Does your ideal person have any special talents? She can paint and draw. She doesn’t really share these with other people but she does with me.

Do your parents like the person you’re with? (Or the last person) My parents liked Mike and were convinced something was happening between us lmao. They don’t know about my relationship with Gabie yet.

Do you like pet names? Yes when it’s just the two of us. Publicly, I control myself, cos I know it annoys me when other people are too showy/vocal. Like I don’t call Gab pet names when we’re out with friends; and when we’re out at the mall or whatever, I’m not very physical other than holding her hand.

What is your age range? Same age. I can’t imagine dating someone younger or older, but then again this is because I haven’t had any other experience.

What is one attribute that your ideal partner must have? Sincerity.

When was the last time someone seriously said “I love you.” to you? This morning.

Have you ever been in more than one relationship at a time? No.

SEVEN - The wonderful world of the Internet!

What is your most used website? Probably Twitter. It’s the first thing I check everyday.

Do you play any online games? Other than playing on Y8 when I was younger, no.

Which chat program do you use most often? Messenger.

Facebook vs Myspace- which is better? I haven’t used Myspace in a hot minute, so I’ll go with Facebook.

Is there someone you met online that you’d like to meet in person? Yes, I’m still waiting to meet Aliyah. Girl is in BGC every single day but I can’t seem to grab lunch or dinner with her!

Have you ever sold something on Ebay or Craigslist? No.

Have you ever gone on Chatroulette? Or Omegle video? Yeah, when I was like 12 and curious about the Internet haha.

Are there any videos of yourself on Youtube? I don’t think so.

Mac or PC? Mac.

Have you ever Googled your name? I’ve Googled my username before, but not my name.

EIGHT - This or That?

Twilight or Harry Potter?

French fries or potato wedges?

Liquid ortape white out?

Digital or film camera?

Nail clippersor nail scissors?

Rock, paper, or scissors?

Beard or mustache?

Knee high or ankle socks?

Hockey or basketball?

Mr Clean or sponge and ‘the other leading cleaning product’?

NINE - Be cool, stay in school!

What subject are/were you best at? It’s always history, or social studies in general.

How old will you be when you graduate high school / how old were you? I was 18 when I graduated.

Isn’t there that point in the year when you stop caring so much? Yep, it’s usually when you’re a senior.

Do/did you have any really cool teachers? In UP? Absolutely. There’s a lot of shitty profs, but the cool ones are way too hardcore.

Who is/was your most strict teacher? Sir Ruel in my old school. Old man was and is such a fucking loser. Once had a comment about my breasts and I never forgot about it. Also kicked me and a bunch of other kids out of his class in fifth grade because we didn’t have crayons. He actually got booted by the school for a year because a parent complained about him, but he came back after.

Where do/did you sit at lunch? In high school, the cafeteria was too crowded so my friend group would hang out in our classroom, since most of us were classmates. Right now, lunch just depends on my schedule and where I happen to be by noon.

What do/did you do at recess? Catch up on homework I skipped the night before.

There’s always that one kid who no one really knows, right? LOL, yes.

Is/was your cafeterias food actually any good? It used to be good. Then they kind of hired this company to start making the meals starting junior year and the food was never as good again.

Do/did you have a stereotypical school, with all those cliques and such? You can say that. We had popular party kids, smart but still cool kids, soccer players, the basketball players who all turned out gay, kids who kinda just hovered in the middle, and those who were kinda brushed to the side were the theatre and anime kids.

TEN - Randomly Platypus.

Do you like your toothbrush really wet when you’re brushing your teeth? Not really wet. I just make sure I’ve put it under the running water before applying the toothpaste.

What song are you currently obsessed with? Not into anything at the moment.

What was the stupidest dare you’ve ever done? I hate dares, so I don’t do them haha.

Do you enjoy playing with tape? No?

What’s one word/phrase you say too much? LITERALLY. Which is a problem because most of the time, the things I associate the word with aren’t literal.

When was the last time you went trick-or-treating? 2017.

What did you last use a knife for? Haha, my orgmates were cooking up lunch and I volunteered to chop up the onions. Fun fact: First time to use a knife, ever.

When you open a pack of gum, why is everyone your best friend? Because gum is always a good idea.

What has been on your mind way too much? Completing my requirements for internship so I can submit them as early as possible.

Did you actually enjoy my survey? Sure. Categories are always fun.

#survey #surveys

[tixelsketchbookuniverse]

My awful D&D experience

And the dangers of having a really bad GM.

Warning, it’s quite long. So my apologies!

So picture this. I’ve just arrived in college and am making new friends that are on the same page as me. We all love art and making characters so I suggest “Hey why don’t we form a D&D group together?”. Most of them had never played before, but that was fine, we could teach them. 

One of my classmates, a guy who loves drawing big muscular men and women, offers to be the GM. All good all good.

I already had my little cleric character, named Elio. He came from a city in the desert, his large clan worshipped a home-brew Goddess. Yna, Goddess of the sun. His devotion to her granted him powers, he can materialise crystals with his mind, but he can only do it during the day, at night it didn’t work. Elio in particular was so devoted to her, that he vowed to become the next High Priest. The High Priest had to have long long hair, and a perfectly preserved body (aka a virgin), because they would be the perfect vessel for when Yna returns to the earth. Elio was also the son of the Queen of said city, but kept that little bit of info a secret.

All that seemed to be random info, but it’s important later. 

The other members of the team were: Delaine, a upperclass woman who was a total tank; Seera, an alchemist who likes to bugger off and not contribute a lot; Brise, a wind sorceress with a split yandere personality (not a fan); Kalisie, a nudist black elf; and Elias, a witch who manipulated threads of fate. 

So fast forward to our first session. We’re all in a circle, eagerly waiting to begin our quest. At first, this are well. But one thing was weird to me. Our DM was having us use a 100 side dice. Weird, I thought, shouldn’t we be using a 20? Our first session was actually pretty okay. I mean Elio got stabbed in the shoulder and bitten by a snake, but I figured it was fine.

Later our GM asked to see all our character sheets. Elias’s creator and I were the only people who’d played before, and both had very detailed and extensive character sheets. Well, the normal kind for any D&D character. 

Our DM looks them over for a few days, and at our next session pulls out some sheets of paper. He said our sheets were ‘not appropriate for this game’ and had photocopied our original sheets, and removed everything he didn’t want. We were left with: Strength, Wisdom and Social stats, two abilities, and 2 spells each. We were not happy. According to him “detect good and evil” was a spell only a level 10 and up could use. We called bullshit and he said “it’s my game, I can make the rules however I want”.

And from that point on he became crueler and crueler to my character in particular. Got into a fight with some bandits? All lunge on me. In a torture dungeon (he liked those a lot)? Guess who got put on the stretcher and whipped again. Walking along the street and cross paths with a beggar? Stabbed in the side. 

At this point I was getting annoyed. I’d been keeping count on how many hitpoints we were all getting per game. 3 sessions in, and while I was on 20 per session, Kalisie on 19, Elias on 16, Seera Delaine and Brise were all on 0. So I began to think, is this personal? Did I do something wrong? Or am I just playing like an idiot?

But then it hit me. 

Elias, Elio and Kalisie were black. 

It couldn’t be a coincidence.

I talked to my GM about this, but all he had were excuses and ‘it’s my game, I can do what I want’, and said that if I kept questioning him he’d destroy my character’s home-city and kill his family. That, I was not happy with. 

Elias’s creator and I realised that our GM had lied to us when he said he’d “GM’s for countless other campaigns”. OR he’d only played with people who’d never played, so would believe everything he said. I’d start making an understudy for Elio (as GM had said multiple times that his goal was to kill all of us, except for Seera because he had plot armour) and I wanted to either make a dragon-born or a tiefling. I text DM to ask if I could, and the guy didn’t even KNOW what they were. After I explained them, he said “no those don’t exist”. This guy seemed to believe that the only civilised people in D&D were humans, elves and dwarves.

This guy would change the rules, spells, meta-game the shit outta us. And this was an extremely dark, racism universe. You couldn’t talk your way out of a tough spot, you HAD to fight to the death. And through some eavesdropping, I discovered that team White characters were the “main characters” of the other, and we were nothing more than minor, disposable, waste. 

So Elias’s creator and I started calling him out on his bullshit. We’d use spells were were meant to use right from the start, bring our own 20 side dice, and actually play the game the way it’s meant to be played. GM was not happy. 

And on our last session, he starts things off by brutally murdering Elias’s husband (despite her asking him beforehand to NOT DO THAT), and ends it with Elio getting kidnapped by the bandits we were investigating. You see in the town we were at, Elio discovered some of his clan members lived in the slum part of the city (because of fucking course) so goes to ask them for info. Our DM decides to play them using a very racism voice imitation, racist slurs and has Elio’s distant cousin attempt to sexually assault him. Wonderful. 

Elio follows a seemingly trustworthy kid to his house, and tells the kid of his royal status, before SURPRISE! The bandits were waiting in the kid’s house to jump Elio and kidnap him. Meta-gaming at it’s worst. 

Our GM then describes the 10 bandits tear off Elio’s clothing, and proceed to brutally torture and sexually assault for 5 hours. He then says “roll a social” to see if he’s mentally damaged by this. (I rolled a 99, critical failure). 

At that point, I was done. Elias’s creator had to leave early, so I KNEW he’d waited for her to leave to do this. 

I said “You can either take all that back and actually fucking play fairly, or I’m DONE with your game.” He was shocked by this. Like someone being disgusted by rape was news to him. He said it “wasn’t so bad” and that I was “over reacting”, so I said I was done. The session was over and I’m not playing anymore. 

So moral of the story? Idk if there really is one. But for any aspiring DM’s out there, here’s some advice: -Communicate with your players. Actually take some time to lay down the rules to them and STICK TO IT. -If you’re letting people into your fantasy, try and find out what people will or won’t be comfortable with. -Be respectful of your player’s wishes. -Don’t be racist.  -Don’t pick favourites or main characters. This kills everyone else’s want to play.

Side note, after I left, so did Elias and Delaine’s players. Kalisie then left too, and I think Brise’s player’s gonna leave too. I’d feel sorry for our DM, but I really don’t.

Thanks for reading, and I hope your D&D sessions go a lot better than mine!

#Dungeons and Dragons #d&d story #Bad Gm #Bad DM #tabletop roleplaying #Dungeons and Dragons story #cleric #racism

[icharchivist]

Kind of a weird curiosity. But I remembers years ago when there was talk over what it'd be like if Allen had been a girl instead (I even read a girl!Allen fic about her time with Cross. It was surprisngly good. Probably because it had no shipping =p). For some reason I just start thinking about that topic again and I wonder how Allen and Lavi's dynamic would be? For the most part I don't see most of Allen's dynamics changing at all (except more (more) fanboys. Lol). But then I remembered Lavi -

2 and I think it's been pointed out Lavi treats females a bit differently. He doesn't seem to prank or tease them as much as the males (not that he's the perfect gentleman either. Komui Talks makes me wonder how innocent he actually is XD). Nor give them nicknames. With this is mind I wonder if Lavi would still act the exact same (chaotic prankster. Touchy feely physically. Retaliating over rough housing) or if he'd tone some things down but do other things more (maybe try to be more like a -

3 big brother initially if he kinda of bases off from Lenalee and Komui, w/o the complex, to get closer to a female Allen?). Lol, Idk. This is kind of more of a Lavi meta question since it's been stated Allen's relationship is utterly crucial to Lavi's character. Again, I'd be curious if a dynamic w/girl Allen would be slightly different or the exact same (in a you're an exception. And people bop him more because 'stop picking on a sweet girl' while Allen cackles menacingly from behind).

Oh my this is... interesting to think about.

I think it’s fair to start with... the fact that Allen was originally a girl. Or more- when Hoshino pinched the idea to Shounen Jump she made a one shot with a main character called Robin. Here you can find it. And Robin... was an akuma. A girl in a boy’s body. Long story short, you can read the one shot if you hadn’t yet - but ye that was originally the character we were going with.It’s to argue that it would make a point for Robin planned as a transwoman in those instances.

According to the Gray Arc however, when the series became serialized, her editors were against the idea, because “No one would care if a girl would be crying”. That’s litterally word for word the reasoning. So Hoshino had to scrap it.

and she mentions quickly that it was one of the reasons she had no idea what to do with Allen to start with. He kinda started with him being a revamp of her character. (What I admire a lot with Hoshino is how much Her Vision can be affected by little things? Like how Lenalee became an entiere different person in her head the moment her editors forced her to have her with long hair.)

There’s also the elephant in the room that considering the timeperiod it was originally written. DGM was originally published with some big name shounen, Shounen Jump had some control over some choices, would react to fan backlashes (Lenalee being forced to have her hair long again is among those btw) ect... I mean like I think people may take for granted that for instance, the Alma arc was a complete anomaly when it came out in 2009/2010. That it had like. Major effects on fanbases. I’ve seen so much dudebros yell at this arc while i was thriving my friend. And tbh before the Alma arc DGM was often lurped in the “basic Shounen” category. A lot of people argued about the tropes it had to follow or not, and if this sort of things had any impact on the writting of the manga earlier? I can see how things wouldn’t go smoothly.(The Alma arc rooted out all the bad dudebros i’ve known of though. I don’t even care what people’s reaction nowadays are to it, to me back then, from the experience i got from fandom, it was revolutionary when it came out.)

I’ve stired away sorry, but Lenalee also works better, bc I know Hoshino fought for the Alma’s arc and that her editors didn’t agree with the direction she was taking. But if you read some of the interviews of the Grey Arc specifically, you see that Hoshino was constantly told how to rewrite Lenalee to fit a male audience sort of. Her editor pushed her to have long hair bc “that’s the kind of idol he found cute”, there was a complete backlash when Hoshino managed to cut her hair, the fans supported the editors, Hoshino talks all about it with such a bummer because “her Lenalee” had short hair. (also during that specific interview her editor calls her a moron. Later on she got called very annoying for sassing her editors after they called her dumb when she had a writter block writting the 14th song, and she sassed them asking for help going “since you’re far more intelligent than me-”. And the editor failled hard, Hoshino didn’t even use his writting, and the editor insulted her for being bossy. Needless to say I’ve since then been filled with anger with how the early days of DGM must have been hard on Hoshino).

I’m forced to make this preface because I truly think it would have affected Allen’s writting had he been a woman. 

If i’m optimistic i would like to think that nothing much would change because Allen’s writting kinda transend genders. But If i’m realistic i know it wouldn’t have happened.

As for Lavi specifically (wouh 7 paragraphs in and i’m finally touching the point of this post) the thing is that he also has a soft spot for women. (I mean i personally would argue he describes Dug as “cute” far too much in his novel to be 100% straight but he at least show his attraction to women more easily in the manga). 

And ye he does tend to treat the women differently but he also doesn’t... have a lot of women to be around to. I mean Lenalee whom he respects (and can be worried Komui will kill him if he tries anything), Miranda that he kinda met at the wrong time? He was always so overly serious around her because he was griefing and we didn’t see him with her at all since he got better. Aside then from his occasional crushes, that he does let himself feel, he didn’t really have an opportunity to spend more time with those women.

My point is just that the women he had met don’t help us set up a patern about how he treats them more casually: in term of pranks for exemple. Like in the day-by-day, we only have Lenalee and Miranda, and pranking Lenalee would be really putting a target on him to be murdered by Komui, while I would argue that Miranda’s anxiety (and the circumstances in which Lavi met her) would make him go softer on her. It doesn’t mean we know for sure he wouldn’t tease a woman in his peer surrounding in others circumstances.

I would love to think he would make an exception for Allen if only because of the timing: He was still handling Dug’s recent death and I think even if Allen was a woman the parallelisms would be there for him to be bitter. 

I want to think that because of that Lavi would still have teased Allen normally like he teases guys. But it’s not impossible that he would have treated Allen differently.

I think eventually like... If Lavi recognizes his soft spot for women (that it is with his strikes and whatever) he might actually be more ready to keep a guard up around them? Like I personally think he has a major soft spot for Lenalee but it took eventually Allen shaking everything up for him to acknowledge this soft spot. That he would have otherwise just protected himself against.

That, the reason our Allen was so effective was that Lavi really, really didn’t expect anything like that. and I think expectations would have been his doom, and I am inclined to think if allen had been a woman, he would have had some expecations.

Regardless: The major plot points that changed Lavi’s mind on Allen were emotionally driven and would still have had the same impact had Allen be a girl, i’m convinced of that. 

So it’s only on how he would treat that Allen more casually. And tbh... considering how vicious Allen can be, I feel like if Lavi treated her “more softly”, Allen’s reactions would probably have ended up with Lavi going “nevermind she’s a prick” and tease her just like he teases our Allen. I mean just taking the Vampire’s arc, with a whole joke about when Allen got bitten and that Lavi was lowkey scared because of that that Allen would turn into a vampire- in the term of, Allen being a danger to him. And Allen therefore sassing him because Lavi was being a moron. I don’t see how the gender would have changed anything, and if Lavi did treat Allen softly “as a girl”, I think this sort of things would have stopped him dead in his track as in “ye no she’s a PRINK where is my sharpy i’m gonna draw on her face.”

But that’s wishful thinking. I honestly don’t know and I think a lot of this post is more how i’m tryng to reason it. 

I’m sure more people would be more able to pinpoint exactly the characters and how it would work. I think i can’t ignore what went down backstage in term of the women’s writtings  so i cannot help but let it affect how I would see the manga as written by Hoshino be affected by it. But also perhaps if Hoshino had managed to keep her female main character, she could have gone more “fuck you” to her editors and manage to flesh her out to a point where half of what i’m worrying about wouldn’t even matter. 

If we divorce the story from the backstage stuff, perhaps there would be a complete different take to have - and it’s cool if people get to explore it. I am just... not the one placed for that.

I used to be good at transformative media, like headcanons and fics, and let those a little take over, but I got kinda insecure of my interpretations so i started to rely on canon a lot more. I already get insecure when I push my interpretations of canon too far. So something that really get me out of my comfort zone is not where you’d find the best answers about that, i’m sorry. 

But hey i hope this ask made sense? If not for the second half, at least for the half where I mention the backstages issues.

Take care!

#ichafantalks dgm #idk if it shows that under my very long posts i'm actually totally and completely insecure about the way I interpret media #that's... kinda why I keep repeating that I don't want to let my bias influence my posts #because i'm terrified to do so #I htink also part of the reason i ramble so much is that i'm insecure my thought process doesn't make sense otherwise #and it's only when i have canon to back me up to start with #with fanon i'm... terrified i'm just going to say something widely inaccurate #which is stupid i know fanon is for people to explore everything they want #and i love fanon stuff I just somewhat hold myself to others standarts #probably the fact I associate it more to my teen years or had bad experience and all #but that's a therapy for another day #for now that's all i can give on that topic kjdhfkdj #take care! #Anonymous #ichareply

[jikook-love]

hi ami, i've been a bts for maybe a year but i just noticed something and i wanna ask if someone with more experience would agree. do you have a feeling that bts is being treated somehow weirdly? like not in a rude way but idk? i mean mostly interviews (knowing bros felt weird af) but also other idols when they are together on stage? like bts really blew up and no one was expecting it so now no one knows how to act around them, esp after the first billboard win. what do you think?

yeah, just to distract ourselves from all the al;kdfjaskldfjsdflksjdfksjfk right now (though idk if you want to even hear this lmao because HULLO THEYRE UNDRESSING EACH OTHER ONSTAGE LIKE PROPHECY FORETOLD) but you know what i’ve been meaning to answer this for awhile just haven’t gotten the chance to grab my laptop XD

so because i’ve been in the kpop fandom for a long time more or less and my ultimate stan group is super junior (who are very into variety and run the business as idols pretty much lol). i don’t think it’s that they’re super famous because i think everyone expected it to happen at some point to some kpop group, because that’s all kpop companies ever aim for so the industry has been prepared for years. i think the answer is pretty obvious: 

bts are given different treatment on shows because of their large and often oversensitive fandom

bts is not a group “trained” in variety persay in the typical sense. they didn’t really go on variety shows earlier and focus more on their music which totally makes sense. ofc, that doesn’t mean their own variety shows aren’t hilarious and i follow them to a tee. but that’s because we genuinely enjoy their personalities and watch it for them. actual korean variety shows are quite different.

the humour can be quite harsh. some shows do it better than others and some comedians are just wittier than others. that’s why early bts experience with these shows weren’t so great. it’s a certain kind of back and forth with a little sass taking into account the actual person’s personality, but more often than not, it’s actually scripted and planned, also very very well edited. 

knowing bros felt weirder, and i sensed it too. why? because they were being so much nicer than usual. no member was really being insulted and if they were it was all edited out. i thought it was a huge giveaway when they announced at the beginning “we’re gonna be fair with BTS. treat them like we treat everyone else and cut them no slack!” after which they obviously didn’t. so ofc, when everyone has the kind of tiptoe around, it feels a little more awkward than normal, especially with the kind of atmosphere knowing bros usually is where all the guests get roasted at some point or another (and it makes it hilarious cause it’s actually very witty). 

and i know that most fandom members are thinking: WUT NO. WE CAN TOTALLY TAKE IT. ROAST BTS I ROASTED JEON’S COCOUT HAIR EERDAY IT EXISTED, but nah. i doubt it XD i mean even now there’s tension and differing opinions between fandom members with inside jokes within the group itself e.g. ranking jimin last in terms of looks or calling hoseok a horse or calling v an alien...etc. etc. so as a famous variety show with high ratings, i don’t really want these vicious ppl coming after me just because i didn’t really know where to draw the line. so it’s better safe than sorry XD add a few jibes about their dating life, bring up one or two inside jokes to show you did the research and call it a day ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

you get the gist XD

that being said i still want them to go on super tv so badly at some poitn because that shiet is lit and they better get rekt

#ask #Anonymous

[choric]

( park jimin - demimale, he/they ) — did you see noeul han walking down the street? the twenty-three year old has lived here for three weeks. i heard they’re an aspiring painter & a part-time barista now, time sure flies. gooey by glass animals always did remind of them, maybe it’s because they’re so audacious & charitable. though i did hear they can also be commanding & capricious if you catch them on a bad day.

hey babes drum-roll it’s admin fany here to welcome yall~ with some random info about me I guess uh so I’m 26, living in northern europe, most of the time dying bc I’m not made for these hot ass summers, other times just being distracted twelve times outta ten jsyk I’m not ignoring anyone my attention span is just in the negatives. or I’m playing overwatch. or subnautica when I’m feeling particularly masochistic.  would drop dead without tea. ye. that’s all for today folks

anyway here’s Noeul’s profile if you wanna peep also a very messy plot page aaaand I’m gonna ramble about him now uwu

tw: emotional abuse, tw: assault ( kinda brief mentions, esp the assault, I tried keeping it safe )

born in Seoul but his family moved to USA when he was barely 6. they moved around a l o t since then but stayed within the borders. save for one weird year in France back in 2010

he haTED it. all the constant moving around and starting at new schools with new people trying to get new friends and find new hobbies and leaving pretty much everything behind so often just stressed the hell out of his young self and he was in a perpetual state of over-emotional about the whole ordeal and angry and bitter and yeah. not having a good time

over the years he managed to find ways to cope with it, drawing and painting being a major thing as it was one of very few things he could just continue without any special arrangements made or it feeling different. putting all that bent up negativity on paper was helpful in itself so he stuck with it without much thought then, clinging into a lifeline of one constant in a sea of variables

later on it morphed from being less of a therapeutic activity and more one of him being able just flow with creativity, paint with a less personal agenda and enjoy it way more too ( not to say he doesn't still use it as a form of escapism too )

reading was another thing he found enjoyment in, especially during his early teenage years. that is something he doesn't engage that often in anymore however

his parents didn’t really care about what hobbies he took on ( even with painting carrying throughout the years he ended up trying a whole slew of other things too ) until it became apparent he was actually considering art as a legit career path. neither agreed it being a good idea but they didn’t flat out deny him either.. just were very patronising about it for months and by that time he had come to actual decision of going through with it out of pettiness alone lmao. which of course served nothing but to legit piss them off and led to a number of arguments they still have to this day yikes

his parents entire view on life seemed to be there was no point getting attached to anything, sentimentality was a flaw and you could just buy everything you needed again without much care for what was left behind. especially his mom had a lot of emotionally abusive ways to steer his life in the direction she wanted, but giving just enough freedom for him to think he had a say in anything. not to say she wasn’t supportive and encouraging too but he honest to god can’t tell now how much of it was genuine. she was especially fond of using subtle blackmail in form of referring to her own feelings and how his actions will upset her, occasionally bursting into a loud tirade which was then quickly pushed to the side without any apologies for making him in turn upset so boy was always just on edge. this still happens but he pretty much only communicates with her through calls anymore so, Noeul just hangs up when she starts acting up. his dad was more the type to not involve himself into his hobbies and likes or anything at all he only cared about academic plans.

that all messed him up big time in his younger years bc he was inherently just very attached to everything and everyone but now.. it’s almost the complete opposite, enough repetition and shit will stick I guess cause he has next to no sentimental feelings towards anything, in turn actually loves travelling and meeting new people now. partially also cause he doesn’t feel obligated to uphold anything or allow himself being chained down, he treats everything like it’s fleeting, but not without care– don’t assume he doesn’t care when that’s something he does in abundance actually. he just.. accepts nothing lasts forever. ironic enough he’s adopted far too many of his parent’s habits to count now but has grown more tender with the experiences rather than cold. probably a miracle in itself. hella guarded about his feelings tho

so yeah he moved to LA ( parents were at the time both living in NYC ) for art school and got that bachelor of fine arts degree, graduating just spring last year and has no desire to further those studies cause screw school he’s done with institutions for a decade

also his parents filed for divorce while he was at it. before he was even done with freshman year. wasn’t all too surprising nor did he have anything to really say about it, except the times mom called him whilst drunk and essentially blamed it on him being a bad son :/// his dad’s fucked off somewhere he hasn’t heard whole lot from him in last three years beside birthday texts and money transfers to his bank account. and subtle messages through mom about how he expects him to clean up one of these days. meanwhile mom mostly contacts just to check he’s alive & doing well financially while slipping in vague ‘if you would have just listened to me‘s and ‘when will you come to your senses’s >_>

forgot to mention his dad’s a CEO of a small airline company. don’t ask me what his mom does idk prob some manager of a huge ass successful online shop?? something along those lines

will not speak about them if asked tbh don't expect anything other than "they're alive."

does not like announcing his ( their ) wealth to the world either and tries not to make decisions that could reflect that but something always has to give in the end. like he’s just way too happy to blow money on other people no matter how subtle he tries to be about it and often like his parents buys new stuff instead of finding ways to bring his old along, some of his clothes are also a dead giveaway it’s not so much that he specifically purchases anything cause it’s designer but if it looks nice he doesn’t see it as any different buying from any other store around. smells awfully lot like privilege but he’s unapologetic in getting exactly what he wants, it’s not his problem if someone takes offence to that

kind of also hates that he’s so dependant on parent’s money still but has made peace with it by giving away and works twice as hard for his own stuff, regardless if it yields anything cause he’s not doing this whole painting thing as a means to gain money ( would like to, but alas, it’s a tricky career path ) more from pure passion for the art

and noeul def is not gonna tell them to stop sending him cash he'll just have fun spending it in all the shit they'd hate-- even if they've basically set conditions but weird enough haven't cut him off yet.  guess that really is the only thing they can give him and they know it too :)) 

so. doesn’t actually like sitting idle even tho he all but could, yet cannot happily place himself in an establishment with very strict 9 to 5 shifts and such, so if and when he takes on extra work occasionally it’s always part-time, and for own personal gratification

in the case of him recently taking on a spot as a part-time barista here in acarike ( started like, two days ago or something ) was also bc of keeping up appearances ( surely he would run out of money eventually? no, but no one needs to know that ) and getting to know some of the people around since his group of road-tripping friends have seriously decided to settle in

if anyone was wondering yes he has experience working in cafes, among other places. his parents abhorred him taking on such jobs at all cause “what was the point? are we not providing enough?” first of all did he ask?

I guess he is currently residing in the stardust motel?? but is looking for a place

for him travelling in the past few years has been sorta cathartic, inspiring if I dare say both in personal growth and in his work since he can decide on everything by himself, where he wants to go, for how long, for why etc

sometimes likes when he has company for that, other times he just needs to make a trip in solitary. altogether prefers meeting random people along the way

is a kind of odd friend, loyal, compassionate and all that but puts himself before anyone else. or rather puts his emotional and other needs before everything else. if he feels you’re the one getting more out of it than he is it’s not worth it sorry. very generous tho and sees it as his duty to help others in any way if it doesn’t inconvenience him. not unreliable but available only when it suits him. so unless it’s life threatening or emotional distress he will not drop everything for even a friend’s sake you can wait an hour or two. can make friends as quick as he drops them

might get a little inappropriately affectionate with friends. especially so when intoxicated

is an even weirder lover. he loves the idea and feeling of being in love and the emotional thrill of it. relationships are fun yeah but commitment?? not in his. vocabulary. to elaborate he lives for the push and pull and the suspense of it all and needs things to stay stimulating on all levels across the board when deepening relationships further while also being able to maintain a sense of own freedom. he craves the sort of emotional security and gratification it all brings but refuses to become dependant on it ( he knows how that will go ), furthermore does not like all the limitations it brings nor everything being perfect to the point of feeling fake??

tries to make it clear that he’s NOT looking for anything long term but even then people haven’t taken it well when he out of the blue announces they should stop whatever it is they’re doing. he always feels bad about it and tries to part in good terms but yeah :// many hearts have been broken. it’s probably even worse for the other person cause Noeul himself seems to have absolutely no problem continuing his life like nothing happened. all this has made him into a bit of a serial dater??

in whole he takes everything as they are, nothing is everlasting and he doesn’t try to make it so, doesn’t necessarily want to. values experiences but doesn’t get too hung up on letting go of them. including relationships. this is something a lot of people in his life wont understand and it’s frustrating for everyone involved sometimes but you gotta do what you gotta do. might be scared of opening up to people. of that attachment. maybe he’s actually just picky and is waiting for something out of the world magical who knows

repels all negativity as if his life depended on it like. add begone thot meme here

but can also be very confrontational so???

is actually in constant war with himself over positive and negative emotions but filters that out pretty handily. most of the time. cause uh absolutely will turn vicious and loud when angry. sensitive to criticism and personal attacks but gets over it quick enough. does hold grudges but mainly towards people whose opinion he cares about. strangers rarely phase him. has random emotion™ bursts but tbh only cries when being shouted at and/or being target of someone’s wrath-- OR when noeul's angry himself?? also lowkey dramatic but most of the time he’s just sorta chill and cheery, occasionally sarcastic but in a good-natured way he doesn’t mean ill with it. has very strong opinions on some things but doesn’t care if someone else sees it differently. as long as they’re not saying their way is the only right way. or if their reasoning is utter bullshit which he will call out then :))

negative people just make him laugh. will not take your ass seriously at all if you’re being a douche. used to take offence to these kinds of people all the time but he’s grown out of it and learned to simply ignore people who don’t deserve the time of his day. at least outwardly.

similarly used to be very.. well. lets say prone to letting people control and push him around cause that’s what he had learned to accept but whoo boy when he finally figured it out and took the reigns into own hands no one could stop him try it bitch

likes doing things in own terms in general, need for control has kinda taken off so will not take kindly to being ordered around in any manner. tries not to impose on other people or be pushy himself but cannot stand indecisiveness so. it happens. for better or for worse

in tune with his surroundings and current community of people if something’s off he can sense it and it will bug him to no end before it’s fixed. this could be anything from his room being in disarray to something going on in the city in whole

I ain’t saying he’s a psychic but actually stupid intuitive most cases WILL see through your bullshit don’t even try

…ok but lowkey into supernatural stuff and spirituality all that jazz he’s gone through it all while trying to find himself– which is a whole another can of worms we ain’t opening here

did I forget to mention noeul and co ( minho & jae ) rolled into town in this shiny big rv. he's def looking to buy a smaller car to drive around

not too keen on giving rides to strangers since this one time two summers ago that went south real fast when a guy pulled a knife on him. has a pretty big scar to show for it on his right side? tummy?? there’s a pic in the profile page if you’re curious. he jokes about it now "it adds character" but is actually terrified of that happening again so perpetually jumpy minho blames himself for it cause he's dumb

you can prob hear him coming 5 miles away with the amount of jewellery he adorns

don’t get me started on his wardrobe it’s a mixed bag and then some. gender norms belong into the fiery pits of a volcano

is equal parts a tea & coffee enthusiast basically lives off that stuff. i'm probably not even exaggerating here boy forgets to eat when he gets focused on something and just wolfs down a pot of coffee.

obsessed with watermelon flavoured lollipops probably has one on him at all times somehow magically pulls them outta thin air??

you can prob find him painting outside in the randomest places when the weather's nice

likes painting on people probably as much as painting them

it’s not an intimacy thing I swear. but. can be?? probably accidentally turns that way that’s just how he is

prefers either to focus on faces ( eyes specifically ) or nude models in general fcking @ him

this. is so long already I’m sorry omg

and that’s all I got my brains’ fried over this all but yo come plot with me pls also check my plots maybe orrr if you want me to check your plots ( I’d love to!! ) come poke me ay ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

#acarike:intro #i am physically incapable of keeping these things short #hands out cookies to anyone who read through all that bless your heart #cake gif bc CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES COME ON!

[baconpal]

Whats your opinion on the Monogatri series?

fuck man, i was gonna draw tonight, you cant just give me an ask that i could write for hours about

idk how long thisll get but just in case, usual read more time but tl;dr very very good series, absolutely recommend to any seasoned weebs out there

I fucking love the monogatari series for so many reasons. i’ll just shit out bullet points of cool shit

1. gigantic but segmented: it’s one of the longest animes i’ve watched, but if someone wanted to just watch some i’d just tellem “hey just watch bakemono and stop there for now” and they’d still watch some great content and be mostly satisfied as everything wraps up well and doesn’t have any kinda sequel bait or cliff hanger. You can watch as much as you want when you want, even down to the various arcs, even out of order if need be, so it’s incredibly convenient, which means a lot to me (i say as i marathon HxH and Ippo)

2. Fuck the Order: there’s about 3 main orders that people like to preech, novel order (the order the arcs were released according to the light novels), anime release order, and chronological order since the story isn’t told chronologically in either case, and that can get confusing on top of none of the arcs being numbered outside of bakemono and bakemono 2 (which almost nobody recommends you actually watch consecutively) BUT the part I love is ANY order works and is interesting in its own way, the order that events are presented to you can change the impact of various scenes and events, like the ending to koimono is a lot more terrifying if you have no clue that kaiki is a healthy happy boy a year later, and owari becomes a bit more confounding if you know ougi is also doing fine (even if a bit boyish), and when you watch kizumono can drastically change how you feel about araragi and shinobu’s relationship, like when they were super duper tense in nise i always felt kinda whatever, but now that i’ve seen kizu its kinda like “fuck man how arent either of you dead already”

Basically its cool as shit since everything is written without regard for order

3.Character Development (and lack there of): All the characters in the series develop pretty well, and sometimes experience multiple large character shifts that improve them from the absolute pieces of garbage they are in bake (lookin at you Hanekawa, though you were pretty alright in kizu) Senjougahara is also worth note as she’s the primary girl and is thus around a lot despite having very few arcs centered on herself

but one of the most powerful parts of all the characters is they all also never change their true worst traits, and those who don’t really are my favorite characters, and those would be Senjougahara, Hachikuji, and the main man himself, Araragi. Senjou never really is able to drop the autistic girl sitting on the fourth wall deep down within her, Hachikuji continues to constantly fill roles and play parts that don’t belong to her, up through the very end of the series where she becomes a fucking GOD for NO good reason but FUCK it i love you hachikuji, and lastly Araragi, one of the best protaganists ever, who matures quite a lot over the course of his life and all, but from the begining of kizu to the end of owari, he is just completely incapable of letting someone pathetic go without help, even if it means completely sacrificing himself and I love my stupid boy so much

4. Who’s the protag anyway?: So araragi is the protag, duh, but not all the time, and the differences in how the show works when it changes is always very interesting, as it reveals a lot about both araragi and the characters who take his role; namely, Hanekawa, Nadeko, and my fucking BOY Kaiki. Hanekawa interacts with the story much closer to a novel (to the point of analyzing chapters and such), Nadeko sees everyone around her as bubbly colorful nobodies, and Kaiki sees everyone as normal fucking people which is only strange and jarring because when Araragi is the protagonist, anyone who is unimportant to him literally does not exist or physically manifest on screen. Some would call it a lazy choice, and maybe it is, this is shaft, it wasnt the first time they did it and it wasn’t the last either (side note; i like mekakucity actors fight me pussy) but even moments full of “background characters” like Araragis freshmen highschool dilemma, everyone in class other than the 2 cute girls he knows are just depicted as names and random photographic images of shit and its very telling of his character despite never being directly said in the novels or script.

5. FUck man this shit looks good: Art is important shit dude, and monogatari consistently looks good, even if the backgrounds can be incredibly simple at times, they are STYLISH and effective and thats all they need to be, and despite being a show mainly about people talking, the characters will move and be in as many weird cool perspective shots as they need to in order to fill out a scene. Whenever the show ISNT just people talkin, the animation does not slack off. The few fights of the main series are absolutely to my taste, I love Araragi V rainy devil, and thats pretty much the only straight up fight in the show, but the Kizu movies are 3 hours of pure kino holy shit, even araragi buying some porn to beat he meat is animated excessively well and with cartoon abandon. 

I know that stylish substance is still just a shaft thing, but it’s always on point in monogatari, also NO CG CHARACTERS outside of a few random shots in Kizu, which is a definitely worth pointing out considering mekakucity’s original television run exists.

6. FUck man this shit sounds good: The voice acting is impeccable, I love everyones voice so much, but the music is also of very high quality, and guess what it does that thing that i always fucking mention cus it’s awesome and should be used whenever possible anywhere: Motifing. Every character has a theme in some way due to every major character having atleast 1 opening centered on them (there’s an OP for every fucking arc and its insane they’re all fully animated too its bonkers) and theres usually a couple remixes of each persons theme used at some point, especially as like, bittersweet slow classical songs at the climax of an arc being a remix of the OP for that arc. 

Kizu is also noteworthy for motifing the EDs into the other songs, remaking songs from the anime for specific classic interactions (looking at you, sharp and friend or foe) as well as just being super interesting in its use of vocal accompaniment, like the shoowap-doowap kind of stuff they throw in is very fun.

 7.FUck man this shit IS good: I said early that the show is mostly just people talking, but fuck man i love listening to these people talk to each other. Everything they talk about is super entertaining and full of multiple meanings and just so much to take in that any amount of rewatching will always have me finding more to love, but since its a weeb show with references and puns and stuff, I would recommend making sure you’re atleast a decently powerful weeb who can at least UNDERSTAND some Japanese and knows a bit about anime before getting into it, also make sure you can read decently fast. It’s not Tatami Galaxy levels but stuff can move quick. (bit far into a post like this to make a recommendation but hey)

oh no i wrote for an hour about this shit bless the poor souls of any mobile users who still follow me

#long ass post #Anonymous

[onestowatch]

First Look + Q&A: I Don’t Know How But They Found Me Travels From The ‘80s To Release Debut Track & Video

If you could encapsulate an entire film & art collective into an individual person, that would most definitely explain the personality of Dallon Weekes. Imagine if famed film director Quentin Tarantino was a good-looking musician with a great head of hair and magical glitter tears painted on his face—add in a heavy dose of vintage-synth sounds, a unicorn-hair colored drummer, and you’ve got Dallon’s latest project: I Don’t Know How But The Found Me.

If you’ve ever had that friend who references ‘80s movies dialogue, random BBC television crime series and other obscure pop culture facts--then this is the band for you. Just as “I Don’t Know How But They Found Me” may be the best band name you’ve ever heard, you’ll be happy to hear that it comes from the ’80s cult classic film Back to The Future and that essentially everything surrounding the band (imagery, lyrics, etc.) has some sort of ancillary material that you can read up on in between the elusive song release schedule.

You may know Dallon as the long time touring bassist from Panic! At the Disco, and drummer Ryan Seaman is best known from Falling in Reverse, The Bigger Lights, and Weekes’ former band The Brobecks. The long-time friends are taking their next-level project and leaking sonic magic and visuals all over the Internet.

Dallon’s return to center stage comes as more than just music, but more of a concept with a whole backstory. After falling down an accidental virtual rabbit hole with 1980’s cable access talent show videos on YouTube, Dallon knew that his new project only made sense as a band from the early 1980s who appeared on the Superstar Showcase Cable Access TV show and had their tapes and songs go missing for the last thirty years. I Don’t Know How But They Found Me is the best-kept secret living in a time capsule all these years, if albeit by accident.

For the last few months, the band has only released bizarre GIF’s on their Instagram and has had no music released officially, until today. But they’ve leaned into the mysteriousness of it all by playing small shows all over Los Angeles--capturing the attention of fans wondering just what the f*** is actually going on. The lucky ones who have managed to catch them live have kept the rumors flying. The duo are charismatic and theatrical and everything you hoped for from a band with a matching theatrical name.

With their first release, “Modern Day Cain,” those strange Superstar Showcase GIFs suddenly make sense--as the band appears as a musical guest on the show, complete with a random grandma on the organ. Take a look at the video here, and then get the firsthand account Dallon in our Q&A below.

OTW: How did this whole thing start? How did you and Ryan meet initially, because he's obviously in a different band, and you were on tour with Panic. How did it happen?

Dallon: Ryan and I have known each other for like 10 years. He used to play drums with Brobecks for a while, which was my band that I did before Panic. I've been wanting to make a record on the side for a while, and he was always in a similar situation--being a hired musician, playing for another band, so it made sense. I brought him in to play some drums on the record that I was making. It had been a while since we had hung out. I was telling him about what I was wanting to do with this project, and he was really interested, and wanted to be a part of it.

OTW: Where did the band name come from?

Dallon: It comes from the movie Back to the Future, when the Libyan Nationalists find Doc Brown in the parking lot at the Twin Pines Mall. I've always just really liked that--not just that part in the movie, but that phrase. “I don't know how, but they found me”--I just always liked the sound of it. It always implied that there was another story behind that sentence. It's not part of the movie; you had to create it for yourself. Maybe that's the writer in me, trying to make sense of people being vague.

OTW: Everything has been super secret so far, with the exception of a few LA shows. Why so secretive?

Dallon: Having this whole thing be a big secret was really a fun way for us to get it started. We didn't want it to be a secret forever, as fun as it was. I think anyone who's creative, who makes a project, or some kind of art--they want that thing to be as successful as possible, and that's the case with us. We will try to think of some stuff to keep people on the lookout. It's been working for us--having things that people need to discover on their own. I hope that that's always a part of what we do.

OTW: Let's talk about the video for “Modern Day Cain”, how did you come up with the concept of the band appearing on a weird cable access show?

Dallon: While I was in the middle of making the record, I was up late one night and I fell into this weird YouTube vortex of these old cable access talent shows from like thirty-something years ago. It was so bizarre to see this parade of people--like each of them were so sure that this cable access show was their big shot and that they were going to be a star. I was fascinated by it. I immediately fell in love with it, and I wanted to be on this show so bad, but obviously that’s not really possible. The whole idea of IDK being an act from thirty something years ago, who was on this show, and got that chance--that's where it started.

OTW: So your live shows, you play bass, Ryan plays drums. That’s kind of an obscure thing to do live as a duo.

Dallon: We use backing tracks when we play live, which is a pretty common thing now. It wasn't so much ten years ago. I think it used to have a really weird stigma attached to it. If you were a band, and you were using tracks, people would really look down on that. I think over the last decade, it's become more commonplace, more acceptable. When we went into this, we wanted to make sure first and foremost that it was something that was going to be fun for us, but also something that would be simple and inexpensive, so keeping it a two-piece made sense to do for those reasons. I make all those tracks on my own at home--they're taken from the record.

OTW: How does the songwriting process work? Do you guys play other things when you're writing?

Dallon: I'm not a great guitar player, but I do play a little bit. It was the first instrument I ever learned. I think the only thing that I don't really dabble in is drums. I wouldn't call myself an amazing musician, but I do dabble in just about everything.

OTW: “Modern Day Cain” —the song itself— Is there a concept behind the song? What do the lyrics mean to you?

Dallon: It was inspired by a TV show on BBC called Broadchurch. Particularly the priest character, who is played by Arthur Darvill. I really got into that show. I still love it--I have a soft spot for BBC shows in general. When I was in the middle of writing this new idea I had, I was really inspired by that character and his part in the series.

OTW: I feel like there's ancillary material, like assignments that we need to be given to read and watch before we listen to IDK. What are you inspired by?

Dallon: When it comes to drawing inspiration, there are bands and artists that I love that I don't necessarily ever want to sound like or that don't necessarily trigger me to write something new. I think inspirations are more subliminal, they can come from anywhere. They can come from things like a TV show or a movie, or a commercial you heard when you were a kid. They come from everywhere, because that stuff is all around you. All of these exterior things are going to influence you somehow--whether you know it or not.

OTW: What do you hope happens when somebody hears the song or sees the video? What do you hope happens for them?

Dallon: I hope that when people come across it or discover it, that it strikes a chord--that it means something. Anytime that I create art, it has to mean something to me first. It's always my hope that I won't be the only one that cares about this thing. When I put it out into the world, I hope someone else will care about it--maybe not in the same way that I do, but it will carry some kind of meaning for them.

OTW: What is your relationship with Panic! At the Disco at this point?

Dallon: Brendon [Urie]'s my friend--he and Spencer Smith changed my life. I owe a lot to both of those guys. Brendon has been generous enough to keep me around for eight years, and still have me play bass for Panic when they go on the road. It's an amazing job, and I love being part of it.

OTW: So let's say it's five years from now--what do you think you would want the project to be like then?

Dallon: Oh man, “what if’s” are always a little dodgy. I just want this project to be as successful as it can be. If we're making art that resonates with people or not--I hope that we are--but that's what I see this whole experience as: an exercise in making the best art that I can make and hope that it connects with people.

OTW: When you first got up on stage to play the first show ever, and no one had heard anything, was that nerve wracking?

Dallon: To be away from center stage for a long time--I sort of had to figure out how to do it again. The last time I did it was in Brobecks, maybe like six or seven years ago. It's also one of the many reasons why we wanted to start playing around LA secretly, to find those roles again and figure out how to do this thing. We knew if we going the standard route of a press release and a big announcement: "Hey come look at us,”--that there would already be a built in fan base, ready to come see. We didn't want to exploit that. We didn't want to take advantage of fans that way. We wanted to find out our roles again and how to do this thing first and the best way to do that was to start playing secretly.

OTW: After you played your first song live, and people seemed to like it, did that ease your mind?

Dallon: It eases your mind, it makes you feel 10 feet tall, like you're on top of the world. That was another one of the reasons that we wanted to play live shows secretly. LA crowds are notoriously unimpressed with people. It's an entertainment town, so they've seen it all, and they see it all on a really regular basis. To catch the attention of an LA crowd is a challenging thing to do. We wanted to take that challenge head on. We wanted to play for a room full of strangers that didn't know who we were, didn't care, and weren't there to see us and see if we could get their attention.

OTW: What's the story with sticking your pick on your forehead? You do it in the video and you do it on stage.

Dallon: I've just done it for years. As a musician, you go through picks like they’re nothing. They just sort of tend to disappear on you, and fly away. I guess the habit started when I was in The Brobecks. It was a really, DIY project, really low budgets, and picks were a hot commodity. They're probably your most common expense. Rather than dispose of one, anytime that I had to switch from picking to playing with fingers, I would just stick it to my forehead so that I didn't have to lose that pick and have to buy another one later. Pretty much everything I do, was born out of being a necessity somehow.

OTW: What about the glitter tears? How is that a necessity?

Dallon: Oh, that is definitely a necessity right now. I wanted to do something that made me look and feel different from how I am on stage with Panic or Brobecks. I wanted everything to be new--to feel new on stage. That's not something I've ever done before, so I thought I would give it a try. It helps to put me in the zone of playing an IDK show.

OTW: What’s next for IDKHBTFM? Is there a plan or are you just going to see what happens?

Dallon: There is a plan, but we're playing everything close to the chest right now, because we're still a DIY operation. We're trying to figure out the best way to put a record out. There is a whole bunch of stuff, that we want to put out and release into the world. It's just a matter of finding the right way to do it and the matter of timing too. Nowadays, you don't necessarily need a record label to put music out, you know you can do it from your kitchen table or anybody, anywhere, with a laptop and a microphone can make a record and put it out. That's pretty awesome I think. We want to put our stuff out on a scale that's as large as we can.

For More on I Don’t Know How But They Found Me:

Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/idkhow/

Web | https://www.idkhow.com/

#i don't know how but they found me #80s #synth #electro pop #pop #panic! at the disco #Dallon Weekes #Ryan Seaman