#idk I’m just feeling so. lonely and sad and

[ropebuny]

I want a dad so bad I’m going to cry and throw a tantrum. I don’t want to be an adult, I want to stop thinking and be taken care of like a kid & feel safe and cared for again

#been really needing and craving the attention of a strong and caring man a lot more than usual lately #I think it’s because I’ve been so stressed because of school and exams this past week #idk I’m just feeling so. lonely and sad and #I really miss having a father figure in my life #and it’s been so hard lately I just keep distancing myself from everyone because I’m overloaded with work #and idk. I just want to lay down in someone’s arms and feel okay again

[nuppu-nuppu]

Ignore if you don’t want to read about me being stupid once again

#pls dont read if you cant handle venting and whining #once again i am here to say that i am the loneliest person alive and i feel like i can’t grasp the basic consept of friendship and do it lol #like idk how to be friends #i feel like i will forever be sad and lonely #and i know everyone will say you can talk to me and i know that but i’ve just been by myself for so long that i don’t remember how to have #actual conversations with people i feel like i am disconnected from reality #i feel like i am an extremely unlikeable person and that’s why i was all alone in highschool and idk i am oversharing on the internet again #because it’s the only place i kind of feel safe doing it #pls take care of yourselves first before comfoting me or anything im sorry i sound very pathetic #how do i start living again #how does one live anyway #im just in my head all the time #this was supposed to be hot girl summer but it’s once again summertime sadness #im so stupid!!! #im so anxious and depressed that i dont know what to do with myself #im so sorry for oversharing i have a therapist dont worry im kind of taking care of myself #but the eternal loneliness just wont let me go #idk how to be a person anymore #i’m just sad #thinking of going to a church and pretend to be a believer so i could have a community again lol

[hauntxd]

make me laugh and get a surprise

#if u can’t tell i really like red #idk why i’m posting this #and yet here i am doing so anyway #i am in such a sad mood and how i’m feeling keeps changing #i don’t like it and at least wish the good parts would stay more consistent #can’t wait to be put on a mood stabilizer xoxoxo #me #my face #message me #dm me #talk to me #goth #goth girl #nsft #please these tags are so embarrassing #i mostly just wanna make friends and not feel so lonely

[dancing-with-stars]

guys. guys !!!!

#vanu is rambling #ok idk this is gonna b a happy post but i think there are lots of people who love me in this world. or at least enjoy my presence. #like i always always always ALWAYS doubt if my friends or family like me and in my head they all secretly hate me #but like for these past couple months things have been different. #i don’t feel so left out (like i usually do in groups) or alone. #like my friends genuinely want me there like they always ask me to go places with them. and i almost always say no because im so busy or #i just cant but they still ask me everytime. yesterday the whole group was calling and playing a game and i got a bunch of texts like hey #where are you u shud join the call it’s rly fun ! but i just couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone at that moment. #today they were rly happy when i joined the call and idk it made me feel like. oh. maybe my friends do like me #and also i have two moods: i’m either super talkative or i go into my little shell and don’t say anything/add to a convo. and like during #those moments they’ll be like hey u ok? or they’ll just listen to me talk about ceramics and how fun it is or how much i hate eating pears #and like. we laugh so much together. like i have so much fun with all of them i love every single one of them omg #and scary thing is we might not even be friends after we start college. but yk what? that’s okay i don’t wanna think about that. #because like who cares? i’m not gonna let my fears ab the future ruin my friendships. i’ll always love them anyways. and we’ll always call. #i’m glad i met them. they’re all such beautiful and funny and amazing strong willed-people. they are my friends. #it’s just so crazy to me that they willingly want to spend time w me and are sad when i can’t. and they’re so understanding at the same time #they don’t get mad about it. and like they have mad eng last year in high school so much more enjoyable. #someone told me that this is ur last year do things so when you look back you don’t regret anything- so you can be proud of what you did #and my friends helped me with that. and like i still feel lonely the majority of the class because despite this there’s like a permanent #stain of sadness right there at the bottom of my heart. but they make the hard days more manageable. #like i’ve been on call with these people until ungodly hours at night just laughing and i go to sleep feeling a bit lighter. #they introduced me to the tech side of theater which i never thought i’d get into but here i am. they teach me silly facts and words in asl. #they taught me dances- knowing full well i SUCK at it- because we all had fun with it. theyve taught me it’s OKAY to be vulnerable in #friendships and that sometimes being open/yourself is quite literally the best thing you can do for your own soul and others. they’re cool #people really. really cool people

[kuiinncedes]

:’)

#to start this w a good note lol #bro almost all the music i’ve heard since we got to this vacation spot was done on gIee LOLLLL #not even just at the hotel where they were playing xmas music so like ofc a lot of that but also other music #that was just . all done on gIee lmfao #but also on the shuttle ride here from the airport #the driver had like disco music playing and istg it went from like #staying alive to ​u should be dancing to uhhh disco inferno #to idk if it’s disco but after that was u can’t touch this lmao 😭 #on to the not so good part bro it’s day one why i gotta be so sad lmfao #im blaming it on the like 2-3 hrs of sleep 🤩 #it ok i actually feel not bad for only 2-3 hrs of sleep before flight LOL i’ve been banking up the sleep so that rly makes a difference lma #i feel fucking ridiculous tho bc i feel lonely af and unwanted on a family trip #bc my brother has a childhood family friend to hang out with who for the fucking record i was also friends with #and last time we were together for a significant amt of time idk why but my brother freaking ignored him basically #ik they exchanged snapchats tho recently and they’re both like buff gym guys now lmfao so idk they’re besties now so #i kinda feel like i can’t hang out w them #and then idk my parents like yeah and then my grandma so i’m just kinda hanging out w my grandma #they all went onto the beach i think and i’m here in a room w my grandma and i spent fucking like 30 minutes watching the beach bc i didn’t #know where they were and they didn’t tell me and like overthinking whether i should go #i got as far as tying my hair up and taking out a change of clothes #and then almost cried and gave up and took out my book and came out on the balcony lmao #like what am i even complaining about. but idk #it all goes back to that lovely middle school friendship that left me fucking devastated bro lmfao 🤩 #idk if that’s actually the reason but i’m blaming it all on that LMAO #anyway we’re here for a while so . i’ll just chill and read today bc i do want to read more and i kinda in the mood recently #also another thing was that my skin is still being a little fucking bitch #and i’m so hesitant abt doing anything w it so like going in ocean water #anyway. fuck my fucking brain i hate it here #it’ll be better tmrw when i’ve had some fucking sleep lmfao #jeanne talks

[pepsimaxolotl]

Even though I know I’m making the right choice deferring next year to try uni again later, god I do I feel fucking awful about it and I’m dreading every moment going forward

#can I keep doing deadlines? no #can I keep living alone? no #is this even going to be forever? nah like a year minimum #do I feel awful about it and like I’ve failed life? yes #I’m also really sad I won’t go back and have the same class. Bar one person I really liked everyone :( #but I am just getting worst and worst right now I need a mental health break so bad #idk I put so much of my life into uni as an escape from home life #and in the end I couldn’t handle it going from the all the shit that happened in 2021 #tbh this is a pattern for me I saw it coming. But I chose to go ahead with last year knowing if I did it this year I’d be too lonely #I don’t regret going last year btw I met so many cool people and I know for a fact now that I definitely want to live full time out my town #I just regret that I can’t be there this year #/tw vent

[identitty-dickruption]

I feel like I’ve missed the boat on having friends, I really do. I never had them in school. had a group for a brief moment in year eleven before they started hating me. and now I’m an adult and everyone says that adulthood is when you start haemorrhaging friends. so. I guess this is it now. a couple of close friends all disconnected from each other and a longing feeling for something I’m never going to have and probably should never have. fuck.

#I’m not really. upset. idk. #I’m just sad for past versions of myself #and I’m lonely. so so lonely #but I don’t think having more friends would change that because. you know. #there are daemons inside of me that nobody will ever be able to converse with #and so they’ll never be able to ease the loneliness #maybe I’m just tired idk #I am mostly happy with my life and I have some semblence of a community at uni #I just can’t shake the feeling that I’m a temporary part of everyone else’s adventures #don’t mind me. mixing my metaphors

[coldvampire]

ngl. unconsciously disengaging from this website has been hdjfkg kinda good for my mental health overall? like yes im still dhdjfjf left out of a lot of stuff BUT i see it less so that means my feelings don’t get as hurt lmao. functionally that’s more or less the same thing probably?

going recluse isn’t what i ever want to do (& I didn’t even do it on purpose, just got busy and had a low social battery because of it) but aside from me being overall comfortable by myself, it just kind of seems like it’s where people are content to leave me. doesn’t feel great but it is what it is.

#not rly on discord servers for the same reason tbh #got tired of trying to interject my awkward attempts at participation #I mean people can still @ me but i just don’t have it in me for the server stuff #my social perception is low enough that I can’t tell what the right move is but high enough I know when I fucked up #idk if I’m just not built for larger groups or if it’s something else :( #wish I knew so I could work around it but it’s not exactly a perfect experiment #so w/e. I do kind of miss it a bit but I also feel like my absence doesn’t make a difference #which is a sad thought in itself but that’s how it goes #idk I think in general I’m in a weird spot where I make an impression but it’s never a vital one to the dynamic ? #I do sometimes doubt like. what I bring to interactions in general lately #doesn’t feel like much if I’m being honest. I mean I think I’m at least moderately interesting but djfjf who knows #weirdly settled with myself as a person but I’m thinking that cost is probably an isolating one #knowing a lot of people just never breaking past that surface level #sucks. not much else to describe it as. #idk I’m sure this is bad for me but I think I’ve kind of already messed up first impressions #it’s so stupid but I keep encountering the same dynamic of either we Click fairly quickly or we just don’t really at all #and I feel like that’s wrong of me bc I know some people need time but unless that initial click happens I just seem to falter?? #idk idk idk I guess lately it’s like I feel alone/lonely but I don’t feel like I’m wanting to return to anything #bc I never felt like I really had a place there to start with #weird feeling. very weird feeling. #logging back off now dhjfkf

[finalhaunts]

Man.

#vent #(sorry for venting so much) #anyways i don’t know. things feel really weird #i’m just really sad in general right now and interacting with people feels weird #and I kinda just want to isolate for a couple of days and just not really talk to anyone #because interactions just feel so forced and I think i’ve been fucking up and acting weird every time I talk to my friends #and embarrassing myself #but then im going to get violently lonely if i isolate. but also I’m not really good at talking to people right now #and i keep fucking up #and i just. don’t want to talk to anybody #idk #i feel like i’m kinda just forcing myself to talk

[likelylarks]

xx

#there’s like suddenly so much maxiel angst/break up fic and also an acceptance that daniel won’t be on the grid next year #AND WHERE DID BOTH OF THESE THINGS COME FROM #why is the general vibe sad and angsty and resigned???? #when did we (the general you) all decide to feel like that?? #i don’t wanna feel like that!? #honestly!! i just #feel very lonely in my faith in daniel tbh #and feel very weird about wanting to write and read nice equally supportive maxiel #idk i’m just!! it’s very weird vibes to me rn/for the last little while and it feels like they came out of nowhere

[ragingdumpsterfire]

.

#been feeling really lonely and unaccomplished as an artist lately #I know I haven’t had much time to work on art lately and that’s a large chunk of it #but it just feels really quiet and lonely on social media #been trying to draw stuff that makes me happy but I’ve been knocked back a bit with my skills #since it’s been so long since I practiced frequently #idk #I’m just…sad and lonely #need to go out for coffee with someone and just talk shit about video games and stuff

[salstini]

sigh just feel like a broken human being, like i’m missing a big chunk of self-confidence that most people seem to have

#like the way i’m just so deeply deeply afraid of conflict that like. can’t even say anything without feeling immense fear and shame #when i listen to some ppl sometimes i’m like.. wow they really aren’t afraid to talk #about themselves or things they know… or just not afraid to be themselves #im so terrified of judgement or punishment i have no clue idk #especially with guys like other men scare me so much #sigh i really dunno… it’s that horrible feeling of inadequacy and feeling like #there aren’t gonna be a lot of ppl out there whom i’ll feel truly comfortable with #that just makes me sad and honestly kinda… yeah. makes me think of bad things #it’s a lonely existence #i hate being sensitive and anxious af like this #will talks #vent

[segsation]

not gonna lie to y’all. thinking about switching this account to be less of a hockey account. not that i won’t still post hockey but like i’m never on it bc i use my second account more..

#my second account @elevatormusic #lowkey that account is me being sad all the time because all my irl friends just kinda stopped being my friends?? #and idk man come be my friend i’m lonely #and feel like my old friends never really liked me to begin with bc it was so easy for them to leave me #why am i saying all this in the tags right now lmao