#feel very lonely in my faith in daniel tbh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

untolikeiron-a · 7 years

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RULES. repost, don’t reblog. tag ten whatever. TAGGED. @sxmbol TAGGING. I feel like I always tag the same people in these things so honestly just go for it and say that I told you to.

BASICS.

FULL NAME. Daniel Thomas Rand-K’ai NICKNAME. Danny, The Living Weapon, The Young Dragon AGE. 33~ ish BIRTHDAY. april 1st

ETHNIC GROUP. his dad was German, his mom was Irish, he is all kinds of caucasian NATIONALITY. american. LANGUAGE. english, mandarin chinese, japanese, some korean but only a handful and he can ask where the bathroom is in spanish SEXUAL ORIENTATION. heteroflexible RELATIONSHIP STATUS. single and heartbroken (aka resistant to mingle heyooo) CLASS. upper class HOME TOWN / AREA. midtown manhattan new york city, new york. CURRENT HOME. midtown manhattan PROFESSION. CEO of Rand Corp, who specialize in medical technology but have several other divergent interests in infrastructure and chemical manufacturing

PHYSICAL.

HAIR. blond. EYES. blue. NOSE. broken more times than you can count; it has a permanent bump in the middle from injuries FACE. slim, oval shaped, long LIPS. thin, often chapped COMPLEXION. fair BLEMISHES. Very light spotting of freckles on the shoulders, upper chest and back of neck SCARS. everywhere TATTOOS. a giant black dragon on his chest HEIGHT. 5′ 11″ WEIGHT. ~190 lbs BUILD. slim, toned, muscular but not bulky-- practical muscle rather than “show” muscle. FEATURES. easy and genuine smile, expressive and kind eyes, hair that just don’t care. ALLERGIES. none. USUAL HAIR STYLE. hope for the best in the words of bff matt USUAL CLOTHING. sweat pants and t-shirts (or, more often, no shirt). Also business suits for work.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR. not really a fear because he confronts it but being alone/lonely for long periods of time drags on him. ASPIRATION. to be the best like no one ever was live a good life, die a good death POSITIVE TRAITS. kind, compassionate, loyal, trustworthy NEGATIVE TRAITS. too trusting, reckless, occasionally gives into a deep-seeded rage, currently is also very lost VICE HABIT. fighting (ง •̀_•́)ง FAITH. taoist (buddhist in mcu) GHOSTS? sure he’s met a few AFTERLIFE? seems like that might be possible REINCARNATION? sure why not ALIENS? yep seen those POLITICAL ALIGNMENT. democrat. (so far left that he’s exited, pursued by bear) ECONOMIC PREFERENCE. socialist SOCIOPOLITICAL POSITION. extreme-left EDUCATION LEVEL. completed 2nd grade before disappearing, acquired GED after returning to New York.

FAMILY.

FATHER. Wendell Rand MOTHER. Heather Duncan-Rand SIBLINGS. half sister: Miranda Rand EXTENDED FAMILY. Some adoptive family in K’un-Lun and the Meachums who were like family to the Rands but no other blood relatives NAME MEANING. Daniel: The name Daniel is a Hebrew baby name. In Hebrew the meaning of the name Daniel is: God is my Judge. HISTORICAL CONNECTION. the Iron Fist have been guardians of K’un-Lun for hundreds of years; Danny is the 66th (I think, I always forget, it’s right around there) Iron Fist. Previous Iron Fists include Orson Randall, who fought in WW I and WW II, Wu Ao-Shi the Pirate Queen of Pinghai Bay, Li Park (a pacifist), Kwai Jun-Fan who was the first Iron Fist to come to America in order to battle against the treatment and slavery of Chinese immigrants in California, and Bei Beng-Wen who used the chi of Shou-Lao to increase his intelligence both on and off the battlefield.

FAVOURITES.

BOOKS. Danny doesn’t read a lot, simply because he doesn’t have much time, but he enjoys reading almost anything. MOVIES. Same as above; Danny’ll watch whatever you want if you make him sit down for long enough. MUSIC. rap, hip hop, r & b, pop, alternative and rock DEITY. none HOLIDAY. various taoist and local K’un-Lun holidays MONTH. april SEASON. spring. PLACE. any place out in nature WEATHER. any weather is good weather SOUND. chimes/bells/gongs, wind through mountain pass, singing SCENT. concrete after rain, the crisp “smell” of snow, old wood TASTE. extremely spicy (but he can’t handle it that well, he only indulges occasionally as in like twice a year), deep fried whatever, seafood FEEL. cold (as in snow, air, etc), polished/well-worn wood, a touch of silk (he doesn’t like a lot of it, like sheets, bc it catches on his callouses but a sash or a belt or something is fine), jersey cotton ANIMAL. all animals tbh NUMBER. none really COLOR. green

EXTRA.

TALENTS. master martial artist in several forms and disciplines, strategist and tactician, awkwardly charismatic/charming, disarmingly kind BAD AT. “normal” social interactions particularly in formal settings, public speaking, not so hot at math either. TURN ONS. c o n f i d e n c e. danny’s into any woman who can kick his ass literally or metaphorically. strong women. aggressive partners. enthusiasm. TURN OFFS. passivity, asking him to change or to be other than he is, selfishness in word and deed. HOBBIES. eating everywhere. service & philanthropy. running outreach and charity programs. teaching/running the school of thunder dojo TROPES. honestly too many for me to go chase down atm but the biggest one is mighty whitey lbr AESTHETICS. dragons, ancient China, Himalayan mountains, New York City, sneakers with business suits, hands in pockets

FC INFO.

MAIN FC. Andrew McMahon ALT FC. Finn Jones (MCU) OLDER FC. - YOUNGER FC. - VOICE CLAIM. Andrew McMahon

#ooc #;; headcanon tag #also most of this is written for 616 danny rather than mcu danny so if you wnated mcu uh... sendi t to me again and remind me

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jess-oh · 5 years

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Reflection

Dear journal,

Hey! I do really want to get better at doing this. I really do.

I am currently at Norris on a Wednesday and I’m glad I got to spend time with Johnathan, P. Josh, Johnny, Daniel Bang, and David today. And Joy stopped by earlier too to say hi! But I must admit that a small part of me feels a bit lonely and hurt.

P. Josh and David are both going to volleyball today which is great and im happy for them but they didnt invite me but did invite Johnny. Johnny decided not to go but I was kind of hurt they didnt want to invite me. I’m assuming it’s because they end late and it’d be hard for me to get home later. A part of me wanted to say yes and go with them or even ask if i could but I also know that I do have a lot of homework and reading to do. So I decided not to say anything.

I know I have a lot of homework to work on so I purposefully didn’t have a lot of fun today and tried to just focus. I thought everyone else would just want to study too but I guess they wanted a mix of both. Which makes sense. But when I first got here, I studied with Johnathan and eventually once he finished his work, he got up and sat with his other friends and had a gr9 time with them. I just kept studying but I felt kinda bad. Like my company wasn’t good enough.

And I played smash with P. Josh and Johnny which was fun and I definitely could’ve left sooner after a few games to sit alone on the ground floor again in case someone wanted to come join/study with me. I really want to be here for them. To live life with them. So they know if they need someone to talk to, I’m here. I don’t want them to feel burdened to hangout with me but I just want them to know that I am here and willing to be with them. And just having fun and playing smash...I feel took away from that. Time I could’ve spent being available upstairs was wasted having fun downstairs. And I know it’s important for me to get along well with P. Josh and Johnny too, especially since I’ll be serving with them a lot closer next year but...still. I know I could’ve done better. But I also just didn’t want to be alone. I didn’t want to ditch company that I already had. I didn’t want to choose to be alone again.

I thought if I just kept this mentality, it would be easy to do this and in some ways it has been. Commuting 1 - 1.5hrs is fine. But I didn’t realize the toll it would emotionally take on me. To feel unwanted. This is definitely something I need to pray about and something I want to continue doing but I do feel a bit discouraged. I’m just gonna keep hoping things get better. God, I trust you. Please just take control because I cannot do this by my own strength. I really can’t. Thank you, God.

I could just choose to go home now but I want to stay to (1) be here in case anyone needs someone to talk to and (2) so I can focus and concentrate and finish my homework! I just associate my apartment with rest now since I’m rarely ever home anyway. But because of that, it’s a lot harder to find the motivation to get any work done. And I do want to be a good student and really try with my philosophy and IP class. Really.

It’s important to be here and really try and live life with the church but it’s also important to be a good student and diligently engage in my studies! I want to glorify God in any way that I can and that includes this.

I can never tell if I’m being too hard on myself or not hard enough. Oh well.

I’m really hoping Joyce drops by during her 7-8pm window though I know it’s unlikely. If anyone comes from now to 10pm, I would honestly be really happy. But it seems pretty unlikely at this point. I just want to make the best use of this time and really focus on my homework! I need to read about 20 more pages for my IP class and I’m not sure how many for MBQ. But I also at least want to start researching for my IP thesis as well so that I have something ready and prepared for class tomorrow!

And then tomorrow, I need to finish my layouts for Website Design II and turn those and help out with the Lunar New Year event after class. Hopefully it isn’t too much! I would prefer not to go to the Lunar New Year event but because I am well and able and I’m a board member, I feel as though I should take responsibility and help do my portion.

I’m really debating on whether or not I should rejoin as a board member next year because I don’t even do that much as a board member, tbh. And with Ally, Mitch, and Wes, I think they’ll be in a good place. I want to focus more on church, especially during my last year. But I’m also worried I’m cutting off my ties with the people at school and investing maybe too much into church. I think having a balance is important and of course, being close with everyone at church is important but I also don’t want to be alone and/or lose my community at school either. It’s tough though bc my school community is so lacking in terms of faith and being Christ-centered. I would much rather spend time with people who can challenge my faith. But I’m also worried I’ll just end up alone. And I don’t know if P. Josh and/or the NU kids could understand that bc they have such a powerful Christian community at their respective schools/ministries. It is discouraging, I think.

I also keep wanting to address my MAST concerns with P. Josh but I always flake out. I have a whole list ready but I always make up excuses in my head to not bring it up. I’ve just been afraid to speak up or say anything recently. And I kind of hate it. It’s important to listen and stand down but now I’m just afraid.

I do think it would be important to tell him about this though. Because honestly, it has been getting increasingly harder to keep up with this and do this. But this was conviction I had and commitment I wanted to make. And I do really want to keep up with it as much as I can. But I also don’t know if I’m starting to just do it out of a sense of pride than willingness to actually do this for the Lakeview community. I do genuinely want everything I do and say to come from a place of love and that has been lacking in what I do recently. I admit it. But I do want it to come from that place. I don’t want it to be something I just brag about or take pride in. But I want to very humbly do this for the chance that I may be able to help others. And just trust that God would use me to help them in some way, shape, or form. It might not be in some amazing way and it might only be one person. But regardless, that should be enough for me. And I do want it to be. So God, this is my desperate cry and plea to you. Please just take over. Please create in me a clean and pure heart so that I may wholeheartedly serve with everything that I am for your Kingdom and glory.

Amen.

#reflection

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