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violentdelightsandviolentends · 1 year

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hi!! can i request carmy berzatto #16, t? 🤭

Finders, Keepers.

16. "Is that my shirt?" + t. Roommates

Author's Note - this is written as part of my 500 Followers Celebration!! find that post here if you're interested. my first time writing for beautiful angel boy carmy <3

Pairing - Carmen Berzatto x Female Reader

Age Rating - 18+

Warnings - smut!! + cursing

Word Count - 1185

Masterlist. 500 Follower Celebration Masterlist.

The Roommate Collection.

Having Carmen Berzatto as a roommate is a blessing and a curse.

It's a blessing for many reasons. He's kind, thoughtful, considerate. He cooks, he cleans, he loads the dishwasher correctly. He's fairly quiet, he respects your boundaries, he always lets you choose the movie to watch. He's perfect in every way, really.

He's perfect in every way. That's the curse.

He's the most attractive man you've ever laid your eyes on. And he cooks. And he cleans. And he's the best roommate you could ever ask for. You're convinced anyone would struggle not to fall in love with him. Anyone.

You've fallen victim to the Berzatto charm. As much as you'd love to tell him, you don't want to ruin this good thing the two of you have. It's not worth it. So, you keep your mouth shut, and your eyes glued to his perfect face whenever he's not looking. It's sometimes painful, but it works.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

You're woken up bright and early by someone knocking on your bedroom door.

"I'm making breakfast. Lesson, or nah?"

Before you met Carmy, you couldn't really cook. Sure, you knew the basics, but he's opened you up to all sorts of new techniques and flavours. Whenever he starts to prepare a meal, he'll ask you if you want a lesson. Sometimes, you'll say no, content to watch him do his thing in the kitchen. More often than not, you'll say yes, allowing him to talk you through what he's doing and why. He explains everything step by step, always ensuring he's thorough but never patronising. These little cooking lessons allowed the both of you to get to know each other, bonding you together.

"Yeah, sure!" you call through the door, still half asleep. "Give me a minute."

You hear him turn the coffee maker on, the sounds of mugs clinking together filling the kitchen.

You stumble out of bed, grabbing around for something to wear. You find a dark grey t shirt on the chair and throw it over your head haphazardly. Pulling some socks on to tackle the morning chill, you run your fingers through your hair before making your way through the apartment.

Carmy's wearing his navy plaid pyjama pants and a white t shirt that hugs his biceps just right. His hair is sticking up in all directions, and it takes everything in you not to reach out and fix it into place.

"Morning, sweetheart," he says without turning around. "What do you want for breakfast, pancakes or waffles?"

"Hmmm," you debate. "Waffles, I think."

"Waffles it is."

Carmen turns around from where he's been brewing the coffee, and almost falls over. You're stood leaning against the counter, hair mussed and eyes still sleepy. Your legs are on full display, socks ending just above your ankle, skin glowing in the morning light. You smell like warmth and a golden sunrise. Carmy holds onto the mug in his hand like his life depends on it.

"Coffee," he stutters, handing it to you. You cross the kitchen and take it from him, kissing him on the cheek as a thank you. You both pretend not to notice the way heat blooms up his chest at the action.

The longer he looks at you, the more he can't put his finger on what it is that's driving him insane. There's something different about you this morning, and it's got him riled up. His eyes rake over your body once, twice, three times before he figures it out.

"Is that my shirt?"

You look down to find that yes, it is. You must have picked it up from the pile of clean laundry he did yesterday accidentally.

"Oh, shit. Sorry, Carmy."

"No, it's okay. You look... you... it's - fuck."

You've never seen his brain short circuit like this, and you're not entirely sure what's happening.

"Are you... alright, Carmy?"

"God," he groans. "Stop saying my name like that."

"... like what?"

"Like... fuck. You say it so fuckin' pretty."

He has a look in his eyes you've never seen before. It's almost animalistic. He looks feral.

He strides over to you, cradling your face in his calloused hands. He presses his forehead to yours, and exhales shakily.

"Will you let me taste you, honey?" he murmurs.

Your breath catches in your throat, and your knees go weak. It's a good job he's holding you up.

"Please," he practically begs. "I'll make you feel real good."

You answer him by smashing your lips to his, hands fisting in the front of his shirt. He kisses you back with vigour, tongues tangling and mouths melding. You moan and he swallows it, committing the sound to memory.

Carmy walks you backwards and hoists you up onto the edge of the kitchen table, before dropping to his knees. He looks debauched, knelt in front of you with wide eyes and swollen lips. You think he's never looked prettier.

He starts by kissing up from your ankles to your thighs, building the tension expertly. You're practically vibrating with anticipation, desperate to feel him where you need him most. Your underwear is soaked through, and you're convinced you're going to go insane if he doesn't get his mouth on you soon.

As if he's reading your mind, he nudges his nose against your covered core, inhaling. He groans at your scent, and it's the filthiest thing you've ever seen. He pulls your underwear down in one quick swoop, looking up at you carefully. You grab the hem of your shirt, ready to pull it over your head, but Carmy stops you.

"Leave it on," he mutters. "Please."

You nod your head, and he takes that as confirmation. He dives into you, lapping you up like a man parched. He's nipping, biting, suckling at you as if he's done it a thousand times before. You prop yourself on your elbows, giving you the perfect view of this perfect man in this perfect situation. He's so eager to please you it makes your heart and your core ache.

"Fuck," he groans. "Sweetest thing I've ever tasted."

He slips two fingers into you with ease, and your back arches. You're writhing, moaning on every out breath, struggling to inhale. Is there anything this man can't do?

You can feel your orgasm building, warm and persistent in your stomach. Carmy can too.

"Come on, honey," he begs. "Give it to me. I want it. Let me have it."

You're not sure if it's his dulcet tone or the way his fingers curl on every upstroke, but you fall apart, hips keening and back canting. You whine his name and he groans, low and deep.

"There we go," he's muttering. "Good girl. That's it. Atta girl."

When he's satisfied you're satisfied, he stands up and kisses you again, allowing you to taste yourself on his bitten lips.

"No Michelin star dish is ever going to compare to that," he teases against your mouth. You both laugh, giddy off of each other.

"Shut up," you giggle. "Now, are we making waffles, or what?"

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yelenasdiary · 3 months

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Subby!Wanda being all shy and nervous about having sex with you for the first time after having the boys because she thinks she isn't pretty with the extra weight, but you love every bit of her and shower her in compliments and praise until she's a mess beneath you repeating the compliments back about herself.

Pretty Little Mess

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x GN! Reader

Summary: Wanda opens up about her recent stresses

Smut, Fluff & Tiny Angst. 18+ ONLY! Minors & Men, DNI!!

Warnings: Sub! Wanda, Dom! Reader, Use of Strap On (W Receiving), Oral (W Receiving), Mentions of Body Image Insecurities | 1.2K

AC: Thank you for sending this! I am so sorry for the delay in posting this, I hope you enjoy this soft smutty fic! X

Cupid's Dream Masterlist

"Honey, are you ready?" You called out after closing the front door. You'd just dropped the twins off at Clint's house for the night. It was the first date night in months, with the twin's first birthday coming up in a little over a month, you were able to convince Wanda that the boys would be okay a night away from their parents so the two of you could enjoy a little with each other. This night had been circled on the calendar for weeks and you'd made reservations at Wanda's favorite restaurant.

You wandered upstairs when Wanda didn't reply to your call out, she'd basically locked herself in the bedroom all afternoon trying on outfits. You knocked softly on the door, "Baby, you in there?" You asked. Wanda opened the door with slightly red and puffy eyes, you frowned with worry.

"Wands, are you okay? What is it honey?" you asked. She shook her head, "it's nothing, I'll be down in a few minutes" She tried her best to give you a smile, but you could see something was troubling her.

"We're not going anywhere until you talk to me love" you replied, making your way into the bedroom. It was a mess; clothes were thrown everywhere, and her side of the wardrobe was practically empty. One thing Wanda admired most about you was the way you always put her and the boys above anything. She knew you'd been excited for date night since the moment she agreed to let the boys stay at the Barton's for the night and the last thing she wanted to do was ruin that for you.

"It's nothing" Wanda assured you as she picked up a deep red dress from the floor. You gently stopped her from taking any further steps away from you, cupping her right cheek. "Honey, if you're worried about the boys, I promise you they will be fine. We can give Clint a call when we get home" you said, trying to assure her of her worries. Wanda smiled softly, "it's not that my love" she replied.

"What is it?" You asked.

Wanda stepped back and took a seat on the edge of the bed, her hands in her lap while her head hung low. "We're going to go dinner and have a wonderful time and then we're going to come home and things will get heated and I'm just worried th-" she paused as tears filled her eyes. You kneeled down in front of her, gently lifting her head up to wipe her tears, "it's okay love, I'm listening" you assured her.

Wanda took a moment to gather her emotions, "I'm worried you won't find me as attractive as you did before we had the boys" she confessed, "I've put on a bit of extra weight, I have stretch marks and I just don-"

You cut her off by kissing her deeply, looking her in her big green eyes as you pulled away, "don't you ever think even for a second that I don't find you attractive. Wands, you've never looked more beautiful and I'm not just saying that. You gave birth to our beautiful boys, and I love everything about you" you spoke before kissing her once more, "and I am going to spend the night showing you exactly what I love about you" you added.

----

Your tongue swirled around Wanda's clit while your hands ran up and down between her inner thighs, her soft moans grew more and more the closer she got to her orgasm only for you to pull back at the last possible second.

"Baby! Please stop teasing me" Wanda whimpered as you ran your fingers through her wet folds. "You know what to say darling" you replied as you looked up at her, the tip of your index finger ever so slightly brushing over her clit. You kissed up her body, slowly, making sure to kiss every single stretch mark on her stomach and hips, "until you see just how beautiful and sexy you are, you're not cumming darling" you said between kisses.

Wanda moaned softly when she felt the tip of your strap brush against her pussy, your lips traveling further up her body until you reached her lips. Wanda cupped your face as you slowly grinded your strap against her to tease her even more, "say it baby, tell me how beautiful you are" you whispered before kissing her deeply once more.

"I'm" Wanda started as your lips moved to her neck once again, sucking lightly as her hands roamed your naked back. "I'm…beautiful" she finally repeated back to you. A proud smile tugged at your lips before you gently pulled back to look at your wife once again, "say it again" you said while you lined your fake cock up with her throbbing pussy.

Wanda couldn't help the redness that grew in her cheeks as she laid beneath you, "I'm beautiful" she repeated.

"And what?" You asked, slowly pushing your strap inside her.

"A-and strong" she moaned as you stretched her out. "Keep going darling, you're doing so well for me baby" you replied.

You waited for Wanda to adjust to your new strap and size before you began to thrust into her. Every time she complimented herself you would thrust deeper, her moans got louder causing her to stutter her words. Her fists were full of the bed sheet, gripping them tightly as you thrusted in and out of her, your lips made sure to cover her with light hickies while she struggled to word each compliment.

"You're doing so well for me angel, look at you!" You pulled back to watch her new favorite toy sliding effortlessly in and out of her soaked pussy, "you're taking me so fucking well darling. My beautiful will little toy" you praised her before bringing your thumb to rub tight circles around her clit.

'G'nna cum, p-please!" Wanda moaned as she watched the actions of your thumb.

"Yeah? Promise me you're never going to forgot how beautiful you are" you looked at her, thrusting a little deeper.

"I p-pr-promise!" Wanda moaned once more, throwing her head back, "p-please baby!" She added.

"Go on beautiful, make a pretty little mess for me" you replied as you leant down, taking one of her nipples into your mouth as she came. Your name leaving her lips as her orgasm took over her body never got old. You fucked her slowly through her high, her legs wrapped around your waist to keep you in place while your lips began to travel back to her lips before you kissed her deeply.

"I mean it darling, you're so, so beautiful! Inside and out and I promise to make sure you never forget that, even for a second" you spoke softly after you pulled out of her and laid beside her, pulling her close as you wrapped your arms around her. Wanda sunk into your hold; light tears filled her eyes.

"I love you so much my love" she replied as she brought the back of your hand to her lips, giving your bare skin a peck.

"I love you more than you will know" you whispered back.

If you want to be on the taglist for my work, please click HERE.

#yelenasdiary asks #anon #fanfiction #marvel #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff smut #wanda maximoff x reader #happy valentines

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astroismypassion · 6 months

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Astrology observations 🦊🦊🦊

Credit goes to my Tumblr astrology blog @astroismypassion

🦊Libra Chiron, Venus Chiron aspects and Chiron in the 7th house often experience pressure from parents when it comes to partnerships. They might have parents that had a hand in coming together with their partner in union, marriage. I'm not saying these people experience an arranged marriage, we should look for other aspects for that, but whenever the native is in a serious partnership, the parents might pressure them to get married, they are rooting for it to happen.

🦊Mercury Chiron people along with Chiron in the 3rd house feel like they were never chosen when it comes to friendships, partnerships. They were the last picked on soccer team or for a team project. Therefore these people often want to have more variety, they desire more people around them that they can choose from.

🦊Neptune square Chiron people often don't like their feet, the shape and how they look.

🦊Libra Chiron and Chiron in the 7th house often have the feel like partnership is something hard to come by.

🦊Pisces and Sagittarius Chiron have tons of hobbies, because they often feel like they lack rich "inner world". So they need a lot of hobbies to fill them. They might think about themselves that they are not really that imaginative.

🦊Jupiter positive aspect Juno often have a person that they met when young and stay in touch throughout life for many years.

🦊Ascendant negative aspect Ceres often come across as they simply don't care even when they actually do. They need to work hard to overcome their tendency to micromanage too or giving opinion when is not asked for. These people often come across as not caring enough, so they end up overdoing it to the point of being overly sweet with compliments or little gifts. They might be tempted to buy affection of a person.

🦊People with Sagittarius Ascendant (Gemini Descendant) might often attract a partner that ends up looking more like their sibling or a cousin rather than a partner. One example of this happening in real life is Madeline Argy (Sagittarius Ascendant) and her former partner British rapper Central Cee (Gemini Sun).

🦊Boyfriends of a Virgo Sun often end up looking very boyish or have this teenage charm, like they look pure, angelic and young.

🦊I often find in same Sun couple (for example both are Capricorn Sun) that one of them has Libra Juno. They are looking for the same version of themselves basically.

🦊People with Scorpio South Node need to learn in this lifetime that not all of people in their inner circle of friends, family and romantic partners deserves their time, energy and affection.

🦊Virgo Jupiter and Virgo over the 9th house natives might feel anxious about engagements and marriage. They have this back and forth thinking about marriage, one day they are up for it, other days they are more anti marriage. Also, these people could feel like their in-laws are hot and cold or two-faced with them. One day they get along really well with them, the next day they might be more ignorant. You could travel with your in-laws too. You might also work with your in-laws, like being part of family business.

🦊Mercury in the 12th house, Virgo/Gemini over the 12th house keep their room, home soo tidy. Like they can't fall asleep if there are still dirty dishes in their kitchen.

🦊Actor Matthew Perry from Friends had so many addiction indicators in his Natal chart is unbelieveable, such a concentrated chart.

🦊I noticed in romantic Composite charts that Libra over the 12th house often points to the fact that the romantic connection, partnership might not flourish, happen. Because there is this feel that both STILL don't know each other well. There is so much confusion between both with this placement. A lot of misunderstandings, miscommunication or misplaced expectations.

🦊That person you had feelings for, but never confessed? You might have Composite Pisces Moon with this person.

Credit goes to my Tumblr astrology blog @astroismypassion

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secretgamergirl · 5 months

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How a Computer Works - Part 1 (Components)

I am about to teach you on a real fundamental, connecting up electronic components level, how a computer actually works. Before I get into the meat of this though (you can just skip down below the fold if you don't care), here's the reasons I'm sitting doing so in this format:

Like a decade or two ago, companies Facebook pushed this whole "pivot to video" idea on the whole internet with some completely faked data, convincing everyone that everything had to be a video, and we need to start pushing back against that. Especially for stuff like complex explanations of things or instructions, it's much more efficient to just explain things clearly in text, maybe with some visual aids, so people can easily search, scan, and skip around between sections. It's also a hell of a lot easier to host things long term, and you can even print out a text based explainer and not need a computer to read it, keep it on a desk, highlight it, etc.

People are so clueless about how computers actually work that they start really thinking like it's all magical. Even programmers. Aside from how proper knowledge lets you get more out of them, this leads to people spouting off total nonsense about "teaching sand to think" or "everything is just 1s and 0s" or "this 'AI' a con artist who was trying to sell me NFTs a month ago probably really is an amazing creative thinking machine that can do everything he says!"

We used to have this cultural value going where it was expected that if you owned something and used it day to day, you'd have enough basic knowledge of how it worked that if it stopped working you could open it up, see what was wrong, and maybe fix it on your own, or maybe even put one together again from scratch, and that's obviously worth bringing back.

I'm personally working on a totally bonkers DIY project and I'd like to hype up like-minded people for when it gets farther along.

So all that said, have a standard reminder that I am completely reliant on Patreon donations to survive, keep updating this blog, and ideally start getting some PCBs and chips and a nice oscilloscope to get that mystery project off the ground.

Electricity probably doesn't work like how you were taught (and my explanation shouldn't be trusted too far either).

I remember, growing up, hearing all sorts of things about electricity having this sort of magical ability to always find the shortest possible path to where it needs to get, flowing like water, and a bunch of other things that are kind of useful for explaining how a Faraday cage or a lightning rod works, and not conflicting with how simple electronics will have a battery and then a single line of wire going through like a switch and a light bulb or whatever back to the other end of the battery.

If you had this idea drilled into your head hard enough, you might end up thinking that if we have a wire hooked to the negative end of a battery stretching off to the east, and another wire stretching off to the east from the positive end, and we bridge between the two in several places with an LED or something soldered to both ends, only the westernmost one is going to light up, because hey, the shortest path is the one that turns off as quickly as possible to connect to the other side, right? Well turns out no, all three are going to light up, because that "shortest path" thing is a total misunderstanding.

Here's how it actually works, roughly. If you took basic high school chemistry, you learned about how the periodic table is set up, right? A given atom, normally, has whatever number of protons in the core, and the same number of electrons, whipping all over around it, being attracted to those protons but repelled by each other, and there's particular counts of electrons which are super chill with that arrangement so we put those elements in the same column as each other, and then as you count up from those, you get the elements between those either have some electrons that don't fit all tight packed in the tight orbit and just kinda hang out all wide and lonely and "want to" buddy up with another atom that has more room, up to the half full column that can kinda go either way, then as we approach the next happy number they "want to" have a little more company to get right to that cozy tight packed number, and when you have "extra" electrons and "missing" electrons other atoms kinda cozy up and share so they hit those good noble gas counts.

I'm sure real experts want to scream at me for both that and this, but this is basically how electricity works. You have a big pile of something at the "positive" end that's "missing electrons" (for the above reason or maybe actually ionized so they really aren't there), and a "negative" end that's got spares. Then you make wires out of stuff from those middle of the road elements that have awkward electron counts and don't mind buddying up (and also high melting points and some other handy qualities) and you hook those in there. And the electron clouds on all the atoms in the wire get kinda pulled towards the positive side because there's more room over there, but if they full on leave their nucleus needs more electron pals, so yeah neighbors get pulled over, and the whole wire connected to the positive bit ends up with a positive charge to it, and the whole wire on the negative bit is negatively charged, and so yeah, anywhere you bridge the gap between the two, the electrons are pretty stoked about balancing out these two big awkward compromises and they'll start conga lining over to balance things out, and while they're at it they'll light up lights or shake speakers or spin motors or activate electromagnets or whatever other rad things you've worked out how to make happen with a live electric current.

Insulators, Resistors, Waves, and Capacitors

Oh and we typically surround these wires made of things that are super happy about sharing electrons around with materials that are very much "I'm good, thanks," but this isn't an all or nothing system and there's stuff you can connect between the positive and negative ends of things that still pass the current along, but only so much so fast. We use those to make resistors, and those are handy because sometimes you don't want to put all the juice you have through something because it would damage it, and having a resistor anywhere along a path you're putting current through puts a cap on that flow, and also sometimes you might want a wire connected to positive or negative with a really strong resistor so it'll have SOME sort of default charge, but if we get a free(r) flowing connection attached to that wire somewhere else that opens sometimes, screw that little trickle going one way, we're leaning everyone the other way for now.

The other thing with electricity is is that the flow here isn't a basic yes/no thing. How enthusiastically those electrons are getting pulled depends on the difference in charge at the positive and negative ends, and also if you're running super long wires then even if they conduct real good, having all that space to spread along is going to kinda slow things to a trickle, AND the whole thing is kinda going to have some inherent bounciness to it both because we're dealing with electrons whipping and spinning all over and because, since it's a property that's actually useful for a lot of things we do with electricity, the power coming out of the wall has this intentional wobbly nature because we've actually got this ridiculous spinny thing going on that's constantly flip flopping which prong of the socket is positive and which is negative and point is we get these sine waves of strength by default, and they kinda flop over if we're going really far.

Of course there's also a lot of times when you really want to not have your current flow flickering on and off all the time, but hey fortunately one of the first neat little electronic components we ever worked out are capacitors... and look, I'm going to be straight with you. I don't really get capacitors, but the basic idea is you've got two wires that go to big wide plates, and between those you have something that doesn't conduct the electricity normally, but they're so close the electromagnetic fields are like vibing, and then if you disconnect them from the flow they were almost conducting and/or they get charged to their limit, they just can't deal with being so charged up and they'll bridge their own gap and let it out. So basically you give them electricity to hold onto for a bit then pass along, and various sizes of them are super handy if you want to have a delay between throwing a switch and having things start doing their thing, or keeping stuff going after you break a connection, or you make a little branching path where one branch connects all regular and the other goes through a capacitor, and the electricity which is coming in in little pulses effectively comes out as a relatively steady stream because every time it'd cut out the capacity lets its charge go.

We don't just have switches, we have potentiometers.

OK, so... all of the above is just sort of about having a current and maybe worrying about how strong it is, but other than explaining how you can just kinda have main power rails running all over, and just hook stuff across them all willy-nilly rather than being forced to put everything in one big line, but still, all you can do with that is turn the whole thing on and off by breaking the circuit. Incidentally, switches, buttons, keys, and anything else you use to control the behavior of any electronic device really are just physically touching loose wires together or pulling them apart... well wait no, not all, this is a good bit to know.

None of this is actually pass/fail, really, there's wave amplitudes and how big a difference we have between the all. So when you have like, a volume knob, that's a potentiometer, which is a simple little thing where you've got your wire, it's going through a resistor, and then we have another wire we're scraping back and forth along the resistor, using a knob, usually, and the idea is the current only has to go through X percent of the resistor to get to the wire you're moving, which proportionately reduces the resistance. So you have like a 20 volt current, you've got a resistor that'll drop that down to 5 or so, but then you move this other wire down along and you've got this whole dynamic range and you can fine tune it to 15 or 10 or whatever coming down that wire. And what's nice about this again, what's actually coming down the wire is this wobbily wave of current, it's not really just "on" or "off, and as you add resistance, the wobble stays the same, it's just the peaks and valleys get closer to being just flat. Which is great if you're making, say, a knob to control volume, or brightness, or anything you want variable intensity in really.

Hey hey, it's a relay!

Again, a lot of the earliest stuff people did with electronics was really dependent on that analog wobbly waveform angle. Particularly for reproducing sound, and particularly the signals of a telegraph. Those had to travel down wires for absurd distances, and as previously stated, when you do that the signal is going to eventually decay to nothing. But then someone came up with this really basic idea where every so often along those super long wires, you set something up that takes the old signal and uses it to start a new one. They called them relays, because you know, it's like a relay race.

If you know how an electromagnet works (something about the field generated when you coil a bunch of copper wire around an iron core and run an electric current through it), a relay is super simple. You've got an electromagnet in the first circuit you're running, presumably right by where it's going to hit the big charged endpoint, and that magnetically pulls a tab of metal that's acting as a switch on a new circuit. As long as you've got enough juice left to activate the magnet, you slam that switch and voom you've got all the voltage you can generate on the new line.

Relays don't get used too much in other stuff, being unpopular at the time for not being all analog and wobbily (slamming that switch back and forth IS going to be a very binary on or off sorta thing), and they make this loud clacking noise that's actually just super cool to hear in devices that do use them (pinball machines are one of the main surviving use cases I believe) but could be annoying in some cases. What's also neat is that they're a logical AND gate. That is, if you have current flowing into the magnet, AND you have current flowing into the new wire up to the switch, you have it flowing out through the far side of the switch, but if either of those isn't true, nothing happens. Logic gates, to get ahead of myself a bit, are kinda the whole thing with computers, but we still need the rest of them. So for these purposes, relays re only neat if it's the most power and space efficient AND gate you have access to.

Oh and come to think of it, there's no reason we need to have that magnet closing the circuit when it's doing its thing. We could have it closed by default and yank it open by the magnet. Hey, now we're inverting whatever we're getting on the first wire! Neat!

Relay computers clack too loud! Gimme vacuum tubes!

So... let's take a look at the other main thing people used electricity for before coming up with the whole computer thing, our old friend the light bulb! Now I already touched a bit on the whole wacky alternating current thing, and I think this is actually one of the cases that eventually lead to it being adopted so widely, but the earliest light bulbs tended to just use normal direct current, where again, you've got the positive end and the negative end, and we just take a little filament of whatever we have handy that glows when you run enough of a current through it, and we put that in a big glass bulb and pump out all the air we can, because if we don't, the oxygen in there is probably going to change that from glowing a bit to straight up catching on fire and burning immediately.

But, we have a new weird little problem, because of the physics behind that glowing. Making something hot, on a molecular level, is just kinda adding energy to the system so everything jitters around more violently, and if you get something hot enough that it glows, you're getting it all twitchy enough for tinier particles to just fly the hell off it. Specifically photons, that's the light bit, but also hey, remember, electrons are just kinda free moving and whipping all over looking for their naked proton pals... and hey, inside this big glass bulb, we've got that other end of the wire with the more positive charge to it. Why bother wandering up this whole coily filament when we're in a vacuum and there's nothing to get in the way if we just leap straight over that gap? So... they do that, and they're coming in fast and on elliptical approaches and all, so a bunch of electrons overshoot and smack into the glass on the far side, and now one side of every light bulb is getting all gross and burnt from that and turning all brown and we can't have that.

So again, part of the fix is we switched to alternating current so it's at least splitting those wild jumps up to either side, but before that, someone tried to solve this by just... kinda putting a backboard in there. Stick a big metal plate on the end of another wire in the bulb connected to a positive charge, and now OK, all those maverick electrons smack into here and aren't messing up the glass, but also hey, this is a neat little thing. Those electrons are making that hop because they're all hot and bothered. If we're not heating up the plate they're jumping to, and there's no real reason we'd want to, then if we had a negative signal over on that side... nothing would happen. Electrons aren't getting all antsy and jumping back.

So now we have a diode! The name comes because we have two (di-) electrodes (-ode) we care about in the bulb (we're just kind of ignoring the negative one), and it's a one way street for our circuit. That's useful for a lot of stuff, like not having electricity flow backwards through complex systems and mess things up, converting AC to DC (when it flips, current won't flow through the diode so we lop off the bottom of the wave, and hey, we can do that thing with capacitors to release their current during those cutoffs, and if we're clever we can get a pretty steady high).

More electrodes! More electrodes!

So a bit after someone worked out this whole vacuum tube diode thing, someone went hey, what if it was a triode? So, let's stick another electrode in there, and this one just kinda curves around in the middle, just kinda making a grate or a mesh grid, between our hot always flowing filament and that catch plate we're keeping positively charged when it's doing stuff. Well this works in a neat way. If there's a negative charge on it, it's going to be pushing back on those electrons jumping over, and if there's a positive charge on it, it's going to help pull those electrons over (it's all thin, so they're going to shoot right past it, especially if there's way more of a positive charge over on the plate... and here's the super cool part- This is an analog thing. If we have a relatively big negative charge, it's going to repel everything, if it's a relatively big positive, it's going to pull a ton across, if it's right in the middle, it's like it wasn't even in there, and you can have tiny charges for all the gradients in between.

We don't need a huge charge for any of this though, because we're just helping or hindering the big jump from the high voltage stuff, and huh, weren't we doing this whole weak current controlling a strong current thing before with the relay? We were! And this is doing the same thing! Except now we're doing it all analog style, not slapping switch with a magnet, and we can make those wavy currents peak higher or lower and cool, now we can have phone lines boost over long distances too, and make volume knobs, and all that good stuff.

The relay version of this had that cool trick though where you could flip the output. Can we still flip the output? We sure can, we just need some other toys in the mix. See we keep talking about positive charges and negative charges at the ends of our circuits, but these are relative things. I mentioned way back when how you can use resistors to throttle how much of a current we've got, so you can run two wires to that grid in the triode. One connects to a negative charge and the other positive, with resistors on both those lines, and a switch that can break the connection on the positive end. If the positive is disconnected, we've got a negative charge on the grid, since it's all we've got, but if we connect it, and the resistor to the negative end really limits flow, we're positive in the section the grid's in. And over on the side with the collecting plate, we branch off with another resistor setup so the negative charge on that side is normally the only viable connection for a positive, but when we flip the grid to positive, we're jumping across the gap in the vacuum tube, and that's a big open flow so we'll just take those electrons instead of the ones that have to squeeze through a tight resistor to get there.

That explanation is probably a bit hard to follow because I'm over here trying to explain it based on how the electrons are actually getting pulled around. In the world of electronics everyone decided to just pretend the flow is going the other way because it makes stuff easier to follow. So pretend we have magical positrons that go the other way and if they have nothing better to do they go down the path where we have all the fun stuff further down the circuit lighting lights and all that even though it's a tight squeeze through a resistor, because there's a yucky double negative in the triode and that's worse, but we have the switch rigged up to make that a nice positive go signal to the resistance free promised land with a bonus booster to cut across, so we're just gonna go that way when the grid signal's connected.

Oh and you can make other sorts of logic circuits or double up on them in a single tube if you add more grids and such, which we did for a while, but not really relevant these days.

Cool history lesson but I know there's no relays or vacuum tubes in my computer.

Right, so the above things are how we used to make computers, but they were super bulky, and you'd have to deal with how relays are super loud and kinda slow, and vacuum tubes need a big power draw and get hot. What we use instead of either of those these days are transistors. See after spending a good number of years working out all this circuit flow stuff with vacuum tubes we eventually focused on how the real important thing in all of this is how with the right materials you can make a little juncture where current flows between a positive and negative charge if a third wire going in there is also positively charged, but if it's negatively charged we're pulling over. And turns out there is a WAY more efficient way of doing that if you take a chunk of good ol' middle of the electron road silicon, and just kinda lightly paint the side of it with just the tiniest amount of positive leaning and negative leaning elements on the sides.

Really transistors don't require understanding anything new past the large number of topics already covered here, they're just more compact about it. Positive leaning bit, negative leaning bit, wildcard in the middle, like a vacuum tube. Based on the concepts of pulling electrons around from chemistry, like a circuit in general. The control wire in the middle kinda works in just a pass-fail sort of way, like a relay. They're just really nice compared to the older alternatives because they don't make noise or have moving parts to wear down, you don't have to run enough current through them for metal to start glowing and the whole room to heat up, and you can make them small. Absurdly small. Like... need an electron microscope to see them small.

And of course you can also make an inverter super tiny like that, and a diode (while you're at it you can use special materials or phosphors to make them light emitting, go LEDs!) and resistors can get pretty damn small if you just use less of a more resistant material, capacitors I think have a limit to how tiny you can get, practically, but yeah, you now know enough of the basic fundamentals of how computers work to throw some logic gates together. We've covered how a relay, triode, or transistor function as an AND gate. An OR gate is super easy, you just stick diodes on two wires so you don't have messy backflow then connect them together and lead off there. If you can get your head around wiring up an inverter (AKA NOT), hey, stick one after an AND to get a NAND, or an OR to get a NOR. You can work out XOR and XNOR from there right? Just build 4 NANDs, pass input A into gates 1 and 2, B into 2 and 3, 2's output into 1 and 3, 1 and 3's output into 4 for a XOR, use NORs instead for a XNOR. That's all of them right? So now just build a ton of those and arrange them into a computer. It's all logic and math from there.

Oh right. It's... an absurd amount of logic and math, and I can only fit so many words in a blog post. So we'll have to go all...

CONTINUED IN PART 2!

Meanwhile, again, if you can spare some cash I'd really appreciate it.

#computers #computer science #history #electronics #education #relays #transistors #vacuum tubes

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kaciidubs · 6 months

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for the LOVE of me… i cannot stop thinking about polyOT8! skz x fem reader where they have a bulge kink 🤭 Lee know and Reader were caught on the sofa whilst the others were finishing up at jyp and then it hit the boys.. there was a visible bulge in your abdomen where minho was BURRIED inside of you (you were basically fucking like rabbits and the boys kinda joined in afterwards) 😽🫶🏻

Darling, OT8 x Reader is my bread and butter, I shit you not - and pair it with exhibitionism/voyeurism? You're out to kill me, I'm convinced.

You were never more grateful for owning so many throw blankets, or else you'd be the main reason why the couch cleaning market skyrocketed.

"M-Minho! Fuck, right there!"

Your hands twisted into the soft cotton, knuckles turning white as your body rocked against the covered cushions.

Above you hovered one of your eight boyfriends, face glistening with sweat and black hair messily swept back - his annoyance with it getting in his face was palpable the minute you two started your little fuck-fest.

His face lit up an a maniacal grin, tongue poking out to lick at the corner of his lips, "Right there? Tch, you're saying that as if I don't already know where all your spots are - such a bold little kitten." A breathless chuckle escaped from him as he hiked your right leg higher on his chest, keeping your left straddled between his own muscular thighs. "Since you think I don't know what I'm doing, maybe I shouldn't let you come again, hm?"

Your pussy clenched at the prospect, mind reeling at the thought of being left dry after so, so many highs. "No! Please, please don't, I'll-"

"You'll what?" He challenged, dark eyes sparkling with mischief, "You'll go crazy without having a cock to keep you full? You'll seek out our other partners and beg them to finish what you started?"

Your eyes rolled, body writhing as much as it could in his vice grip, keeping you pinned and open for anyone to see - for anyone to observe the way you were diminished to nothing but a hole for him to use.

"Finish what she started, huh?"

The new voice brought you back to yourself, your gaze focusing on Changbin walking into the living room with Seungmin and Jeongin in hot pursuit. Soon, the space was filled with each of your significant others, crowding around the couch where Minho was - still - driving into you as if nothing had changed.

"You got him all riled up again, huh, princess?" Chris cooed, amusement evident on his face.

"Princess?" Minho scoffed, hooking your leg into the crook of his arm and using his thumb to rub tight circles around your swollen clit, "She's been a brat - thinks what she says goes. I wonder why."

Before either one of them could comment, Hyunjin hissed out a short breath, "Fuck, look at her." To which Felix and Han followed up with a choked gasp of their own. "Holy shit."

Even through your delirium, you could see that his eyes weren't focused on your face - no, they were currently trained on where you and Minho were connected, and it didn't click until you snaked a hand down to your abdomen to feel a difference.

Fucking hell.

On each rough inward thrust, you could feel the shape of Minho's dick bulge against your abdomen and press against the lower part of your stomach.

"Noona, your hand," Jeongin whined, coaxing you into moving your hand back to it's previous position with a sobbed moan.

"Min- Min- I'm gonna-"

"Come for me," he gritted, rutting his hips against yours until your body shook, coming with a sound you could only hope was an attractive moan to say the least.

It took some time for you to come back to your senses, and when you did you were met with the guys in various stages of undress - a new wave of heavy lust dampening the atmosphere.

Blinking up at the second eldest, your eyebrows furrowed, "Min?"

Chuckling softly, he nodded knowingly at your tone, "I finished too, kitten - now, how about we let the others have a go, hm?"

[unedited]

#✧. ┊ kacii answers #✧. ┊ lovely ihrtlix #skz smut #stray kids smut #lee minho x reader #lee minho smut #OT8 x reader #skz ot8 smut #Poly! OT8 x Reader #Poly! SKZ

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gynnnicsworld · 8 months

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I was thinking.... Do you remember the scene from 3A where Stiles, Allison and Scott do the ritual of changing places with their parents?

I can't help but think, why was Stiles the recipient of the nogitsune?

I mean, why wasn't it Scott or Allison?

((Please correct me if I'm wrong, it's been a few months since I watched 3A/3B)) okay, I can't stop thinking about the nogitsune giving those riddles and messages to Stiles about;

"When a door is not a door? "When it's ajar".

I'm going to try to explain this, when Stiles/Allsn/scott did the ritual, they "opened doors" and made their hearts darken.... That's why throughout the beginning of 3B we see all those scenes of Allison, Scott and Stiles having nightmares, and strange visions. So far it's understandable, But if you notice, you will see that Stiles is the only one who establishes connections with the doors from the beginning.

But there are no such references with Scott or Allison. So, this is where my theory comes in and I'm going to start by saying that everything is related to the ritual they did.

Let's remember that the person who would bring back Stiles/Allison/Scott were people important to them and with whom they had a strong/solid connection.

Allison— Isaac

Scott—Deaton

Stiles—Lydia

(If you ask me they were basically trying to give a message about anchors there.)

We all know that Scott and Deaton are basically a father-son relationship, and it's very likely that the closeness Scott has with Deaton is more genuine and stronger than the one he has with Rafael. So that anchor is very good. Because the connection between them is *MUTUALLY* strong.

Allison and Isaac? I don't have to explain that the two of them like each other, like IN LOVE. The attraction between them is 100% genuine. And strong. There is no doubt about their connection.

But Stiles and Lydia? They're friends, and they're not even friends as in best friends yet. This is where I think something went wrong, because Lydia didn't even think about being Stiles' anchor, she was going straight to being Allison's anchor.

And we had the wonderful (sarcasm) intervention of Deaton, instructing Lydia to go help Stiles.

There was clearly no other option (I know) because it's not like Derek would have been there, which I have no doubt would have made a difference.

The issue here is that Lydia did indeed bring Stiles back, but I think of the three of them (stls/Allsn/sctt), the connection between them (Lydia & Stiles) was the weakest.Which caused the door that Stiles opened to not close properly. That left the door ajar.

You can take this however you want, but personally this shows me that the connection between Stiles and Lydia was simply never that strong whether one-sided or bilateral.

On the other hand, Stiles is LITERALLY Derek's anchor, and is 100% Derek's strongest connection. And whatever Stiles felt about Derek during 3A, I think it was something like friendship (And he has an obvious crush on Derek, he's a teenager, who wouldn't have a crush on Derek?) ( There is also that in fact Stiles does feel a connection with Derek, and the Hale pack for some strange reason knows it) and if Lydia could bring Stiles back, being that Stiles is NOT her anchor, I think Derek managed to get Stiles to come back without leaving the door ajar.

Whatever, I have no doubt that if Derek had been in that scene, the obvious choice to bring Stiles back would have been him.

#theory #sterek #sterek theory #derek hale #sterek fandom #ao3 fanfic #stiles stilinski #stiles #derek x stiles #sterek fanfiction #3A 3B #stiles x derek #teen wolf stiles

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incendiobrock · 1 month

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Friday Nights {Chris Sturniolo}

Request: Hey could you do a Chris x reader fic.They both like each other but it’s more obvious on the readers end cause she is a big flirt.But Chris is more shy and reserved and tends to stray away from her.Her and the boys go out to a club and there is a girl who hits on Chris.He gets uncomfortable and the reader swoops in and saves him.she basically Like if anyone gonna flirt with you it gonna be me and say (dialogue 13 “I think a deserve a kiss”)Chris surprise her with a sweet kiss on the lips.

Prompt(s): "I think I deserve a kiss."

Warnings: drinking, I think that's it!

A/N: PLEASE SEND ME REQUESTS!!!

Friday nights were always your favorite. The triplets would upload their new video and then you would all go out and celebrate the beginning of the weekend. Between the boys filming, editing, and working on their own projects, and you being busy with your own things, Friday nights meant you could all finally relax. This Friday night was no exception.

The club was filled and the music was loud, just the way you liked it. "Let's go to the bar!" Nick said over the music, everybody following behind him as he led the way. Chris was looking incredible, as always, and the crush you had on the boy was growing by the second. You made it no secret that you were into him, flirting with him constantly. It was endearing to see him get all shy when you would compliment him.

His back was facing you as he stood in line with his brothers at the counter of the bar. You snuck in closer, nuzzling slightly into his right side and standing arm to arm. "What's the pretty boy thinking about drinking tonight?" You asked, getting close to his ear so he could hear you. He glanced at you with a smile on his face before briefly looking down at the ground, "Oh uh, probably just a beer or something."

The bartended stopped in front of you guys, asking everybody for their order. Nick and Matt went first and before Chris could speak up you decided to order for the both of you, sliding your card towards the bartender, "I'll take a vodka soda and a beer, you can put them both on my tab?"

Chris looked at you surprised, "What? Why are you paying? I was going to put it on my card!" You smiled, admiring his bright blue eyes, even in the dimly lit bar area. "Don't worry about it, let me treat you." You winked, before excusing yourself to run to the bathroom.

"Matt, if my drink comes out before I'm back don't let Chris drink it all!" You laughed, Matt promising to guard your drink from his younger brother. You had only been gone for maybe five total minutes but your place by Chris had been taken over by another girl. Sighing to yourself, you made your way in between Nick and Matt, wishing your original spot hadn't been taken. Over the music you could slightly hear the girl talking to Chris.

"Do you come here often? I feel like I've seen you before?" She asked, watching Chris as he took a sip from his beer bottle. Chris shifted uncomfortably on his feet as he replied, "I've been here a few times, yeah."

"You're too attractive to be here alone, you don't have a girlfriend or anything?" The girl pushed, inching closer to his side and trying to take hold of his bicep with her hand. Matt nudged you with his elbow, widening his eyes and tilting his head towards Chris' direction, trying to discreetly tell you to go over there. You caught on quickly as you noticed Chris scratch the back of his neck, uncomfortably trying to think of a response.

"Hey baby, I'm back! Sorry the line for the bathroom was super long!" You had placed your hand on Chris' arm, stealing the spot that the girl had briefly touched earlier. "And, who are you?" You asked, cocking your head to the side in annoyance. The girl opened her mouth to speak, looking around the club, "Sorry, I was uh- just leaving..." She walked away into the crowd so quick that you had immediately lost sight of her whereabouts. You met Chris' eyes with your own once again, searching them to make sure he was okay.

"Thank you." He said, feeling relieved that you had been there to save him from the uncomfortable encounter.

"You're welcome Chris. You know I would do anything for you. I think I deserve a kiss for all my hard work." You joked, continuing the flirty banter that you always shared with the special boy who unofficially had your heart. Without another word Chris leaned down and pressed his lips to yours. It was soft and sweet, and slightly tasted of beer, "You deserve more than one but we'll talk about that when we get back home." He said, pulling away from you. It was your turn to be left speechless as you processed the fact that Chris had finally made a move on you.

"I can't wait," You smiled, feeling giddy the rest of the night you spent at the club. Friday nights just got even better.

#chris sturniolo imagine #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo imagine #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #the sturniolo triplets #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader

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arielstruggles · 7 months

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The Dawn of Regret

Pairing: Joel Miller x Fem reader

Summary: You have a crush on Joel Miller and he becomes your patrol partner.

W.C: 3.4k

Warnings: Smut (mdni), P in V sex, fingering, oral (f receiving), Katoptronophilia, praise kink, slight dirty talk, breeding kink, big fat age gap (reader is 26 Joel is 56), angst.

A/N: Happy kinktober folks!. I love angst so i incorporate it in everything :| sorry. I honestly don't know if this will be a one shot or not, we will see. I'm sorry i'm not the best for descriptions. And if i have any grammar mistakes, sorry in advance i am not a native English speaker. Anyway, if anyone reads it, let me know your opinions, love you bye!

ch2 ch3

You and Joel have known each other for quite some time now. It has been roughly four months that him and Ellie decided to stay in Jackson, instead of trying to find the Fireflies. Since then, they were joining you at different tasks. Ellie was too young to join the patrols without a training but Joel, as a 56 years old, fearless man; he was the perfect fit. Well, obviously he was a mass murderer too but it was helpful in this situation. But other than that you were nothing to each other. Just a couple of “Hello”s and “How is it going”s here and there. But you couldn’t help to feel attracted to him. Normally, you were teaming up with Maria and Joel was teaming up with Tommy but Tommy and Joel decided that they were "sick of each other" so Maria came up with the solution that you were supposed to team up with Joel. It caught you off guard. You were so used to went on patrols with Maria that you didn't know what to do exactly. Not that you were unable to protect yourself or anything. You were living in Jackson for more than two years now and before that you basically learned how to survive on your own. No, it was not a doubt that came from your skills, it was because of Joel.

You were a little bit, just a little bit intimidated by his presence. He was not a chatty, lively man. His brows were mostly furrowed, well he was grumpy to say the least. Not that he was rude or mean towards you. On the contrary he knew where to stand. So, he sort of knew when to be nice which was obviously not around you. But you were not sure if you were okay where he was standing, you wanted more. He was a handsome man, grumpy old man to be fair but it didn't take anything from his charm. His broad shoulders, warm brown eyes, the dimple on his cheek which is a shame that you could barely see since he was not laughing around you that much. He was big and strong. His hands, his fingers... The thought of it showed itself as dampness on your panties. You were feeling guilty for dreaming about him from time to time but in your defense, who would not? Gosh those Fingers. “What would happen if he wrapped them around my throat?" you thought, on the couch where you were lying at the moment. "What would happen if he kissed me, or better bite me?" you get so worked up that dipped your fingers inside your panties.

After you came imagining it was his fingers inside you instead of yours, a wave of warmth washes your whole body. You are feeling so guilty. You are about to go on a patrol with this man and you masturbated, in your couch, thinking of him. And you had no idea how he felt about you, you saw him flirting with women before in the Tipsy Bison however none of them were as young as you. They were mostly older than forty. You are in your mid-twenties. Also, you know the fact that he had a daughter which if she was alive would be older than you so this was both unethical and impossible. You shake your head due to your own stupid thoughts and realize that it' almost three a.m. that means Joel and you are about the meet in an hour. You fix your clothes and decide to make yourself a coffee, you have limited supply of coffees so even though you really love it you can't drink as much as you want to but tonight, or this morning to be precise, you need to.

While you sip your coffee with the shame on your shoulders you hear a knock on your door, you leave your mug on the table and walk towards the door. “Who is that?” you ask, even though the low and husky tone makes it clear that it is Joel, you are just trying to be careful. “It’s Joel. I was just checking you if you were awake.” To hide the reflection of that stupid grin on your voice, you clear your throat “Yes, I am.” You can’t help the heat that rises from your core. “Okay, be outside of your door in 30.” He says and you hear footsteps fading away. You realize you didn’t even open the door, let alone kindly inviting him but it was probably for the best. You still feel warm and fuzzy because of your Joel fantasies. You grab your coffee and sip the rest while thinking of him.

Once you’re done with your coffee, you step outside of your door with you backpack on your back and gun in its holster, waiting for Joel. After a while his big figures approaches which makes you feel giddy. You curse under your breath for feeling like a high schooler who sees their crush. “Mornin’” he rasps, “morning” you say in return. “We’re heading towards east this time. Tommy claims. There are riders.” It is obvious by his tone that he mocks with his brother. You nod as a response to his explanation and you both start walking. You know, silence is better to search the area but it makes you so uneasy. You want to talk to him desperately. “So, why you and Tommy decided to not to be partners anymore?” you ask, your tone is louder than you expected. “You wanna get attention of clickers or sumthin?” he is not mad, it’s his usual grumpiness but still you feel ashamed. Your cheeks burn with embarrassment. “sorry.” You murmur, this time your tone is quiet. “He was being a pain in the ass, I’m sick of his bullshit.” He answers your question without looking at your face, you are grateful for that. You hum in return while you keep on walking. It’s still dark outside and cold. You wish you were in your warm bed. But the man who is walking right beside you seems so unbothered. He doesn’t care about the cold or how dark it is. It is as if he is living for the sake of living. You study his demeanor, trying to be sneaky. “Is there sumthin on my face?” “no, i- I’m sorry.” “well, you should focus on the road not me.” his tone is amused this time, not annoyed, not grumpy. You see a smile dancing around his lips, it is not a smile but it’s the best you got which sort of encourages you. “I can do both” “Aren’t you sumthin?” he chuckles, you made him smile.

That little conversation is all you need for you to have a crush on Joel. Not that you had not anything towards him but it was not a strong feeling whatsoever. But the moment you were able to make him smile. Well, it worsens the situation. For the rest of the road, you are mostly quiet. The sun is about to rise, the sky is turning into a lighter shade of blue. The birds chirping. It almost sounds peaceful. In the middle of an apocalypse. You can’t help but laugh audibly. Joel turns towards you with a questioning look on his face. “I was thinking how peaceful it felt. The sky seems so pretty, birds are chirp-“Joel covers your mouth with one of his hands and yanks you to a tree trunk which sends a shock to your body. While you try to grasp what is the reason behind this, he gestures with his other hand to be quiet. You nod in return and both of you listen carefully. You hear the clickers around. High pitched screams of a bunch of them fill the woods. It’s disturbing. You are grateful for it though, it distracts you from thinking how close your bodies are, how one of his hands is on your mouth. After he gives you the que you wait in silence, you kill them one by one. “Morning exercise I guess.” You say. “Yeah, right.” He replies grumpily and rolls his eyes. Here he is again, the Joel you are familiar with. It is saddening honestly. Witnessing a side of him which he only shows people whom he really cares and trusts, which you crave to be one.

You look at your pocket watch it reads 8.45. Morning sun shines through the sky, it is warmer than a couple of hours earlier. You still have more than three hours and frankly, after your last unsuccessful attempt to make him talk, you give up. Morning sun hits his face in a way that invigorates his handsome features. You want to reach his face and caress his cheeks, kiss tip of his nose. Of course, you can’t do any of that, how could you? You don’t even know him, he doesn’t even know you. It’s just your hormones talking, you assure yourself. “Cat got your tongue?” he questions your silence. “Huh?” “You seem lost in your thoughts. You were chatty earlier.” “I thought you would be annoyed if I talk too much.” “Yeah, you thought that right.” Well, he is honest at least. You don’t say anything back. He breaks the silence when you find an old shed. “I know this is safe, I’ve been there before you wanna rest a bit? Before heading back to Jackson?” even though staying in a small space with Joel for a couple of hours seems like not a good idea your feet hurt from all that walking and fighting with clickers was draining so you decide it’s for the best “Yeah, sure.” He opens the door and checks out the shed just in case then nudges his head for you to get inside. There is a mirror at the corner. It has cracks here and there and sort of rusty but you can see your reflection.

You sit on a moldy couch, it’s not the best thing to sit but at least better it is than floor. He sits right next to you, you are pretty close to each other. This surprises you but considering it is the only somewhat comfortable thing in this place it should not. The silence is too loud. You want to speak, to say something but you don’t know what to say. It’s as if you forgot how to talk, as if all the words in you have lost their meanings. The hand on your thigh jerks you awake from your thoughts. You look at his hand on your thigh then his eyes. He looks at you as if he is about to devour you. Even if you dreamt about this before, it feels different when he really touches you. You feel shy all of a sudden. “Darlin’ you thought I didn’t realize how you look at me?” his raspy tone sends shivers down on your spine. You want to give in and let him fuck you senseless but a part of you still wants to resist. You clearly have no idea how this thing is going to work or what he really wants. “What? You must be dreaming Joel.” You chuckle nervously. “I most certainly am not.” His hand moves up and up till your crotch but he doesn’t touch there yet. “Tell me darlin’” he leans on your ear, his breath tickles your neck, you’re sitting side by side but you want him on top of you. “Tell me you don’t want it and I’ll stop.” “Fine, okay. I want you.” you try not to sound so desperate but the last part of your sentence comes out as whining. “Atta girl, was that so hard?” he murmurs and cups your crotch through your jeans. He doesn’t dip his fingers, not yet. He leaves wet kisses all over your neck. You do something bold and climb on his thigh. His large hands find their places on your waist. You kiss him deeply. Your tongues dance with harmony. You get wetter with each passing second and press yourself on his thigh a little more. He moans into your mouth. “Naughty, naughty” a smirk spreads across his mouth. You grind on his thigh more and more; the tension is unbearable at this point. “Joel, do something!” you burrow your face in the crook of his neck “Do what darlin?” “Fuck me Joel.” Your voice comes muffled. You bite down on his neck. he cradles you and take you in front of the mirror which you saw earlier. You are confused. “What are you doing?” you ask him. “Just want you to see everything.”

You are standing before the mirror; Joel is pressed behind you. His cock is nestled between your ass cheeks. His movements are slow, you still have a couple of hours left and everywhere seemed clear so you can take your time. But you are so restless. He takes off your coat, then your shirt, then your bra. You’re half naked. Your reflection in the mirror startles you. You are as much eager as Joel. He cups your right tit. His calloused fingers brush your hardened nipple while he licks your neck. You gasp with the overwhelming feeling. You’re dripping cunt flutters against nothing. You want him inside. “Joel” you moan. He bites your shoulder in return. You both watch your reflections in the mirror. You take one of his hands that are on your waist and slide it into your panties, he takes the hint, an amused laugh leaves his lips but he does not want to tease you so he starts toying with your clit while leaving wet kisses all over your shoulders and neck. While his thumb circles around your clit and he dips his middle finger to your hole. “Aren’t you a slut, hm? Waiting for me to fuck this hole of yours?” You moan to the vulgarity of his words. He adds a second finger, hitting just the right spots. The overwhelming sensation takes over your whole body, you feel weak in the knees and rest your back against his chest more and more. At this point you look like a body with two heads. You feel your first orgasm is about to hit. “Joel ‘m close, I’m so close.” You coo, “let it go baby girl. You’re such a good girl for me, let it go darlin’” he whispers to your ear. You don’t even hesitate to ruin his fingers with your cum. He takes his fingers off of you and licks them. You see the reflection in the mirror. It feels so unholy. You feel as if a sinner, for letting a man who’s the same age as your father, if he was alive, to finger fuck you. “Now darling, I want more. I want to my cock in that sweet pussy of yours. I want to eat you out.” “Yes Joel, please.” Your voice sounds so needy that you cringe. “I want you to watch baby girl. Every second of it.”

He lays down his coat to the floor and then lays you down on it. Unbuttons your jeans and strips down the rest of your clothes. He starts kissing your neck and makes his way down while leaving kisses on your torso. His tongue finds his way on your clit, it moves with ease. You grip a fist full of his hair and press him against your pussy more. The warmth of his tongue mixed with the warmth of your pussy sends shock waves to your body. He eats you out with such ease and pleasantly. Your moans fill the old shed. Then Joel stops, “time to take my cock darling’” he coos and unbuttons his jeans. Cold air hits your glistening folds, makes you shiver. He takes off his jeans and boxers. His fat cock is up against his belly. Your mouth waters, you want to take it to your mouth. He catches your hungry eyes. “Next time darling’”. His tip shines with pre cum. He is hard as a rock. He checks on the mirror, to see your reflections, you do the same. You can’t name the feels in you at the moment because it feels nice. He leans on your body and aligns his cock with your entrance. “You ready?” you nod eagerly. It has been a while-3 years to be precise- since you last got laid and you don’t have that much experience but you want to hide this fact from Joel. Once he pushes himself inside you, you scream. Then you adjust to his size and he picks up his once slower pace. “So wet and tight for me. So pretty.” He mutters in your ear. “good girl, aren’t you a sweet girl for me, darlin’?” you nod, he grabs you by the throat, “Answer me!” his tone is demanding, his gaze is dark. “Yes, yes Joel” you answer but frankly, you don’t even know what was he saying. Your hips move in sync. He is close “Where do you want me to come, darling?” “Inside” you say. You come together. He fills you up. After you’re both done, he lays on you. You wrap your arms around his torso. It feels so intimate. You have so many questions you want to ask. But you don’t know how he will respond. You clearly have a crush on him but you are not sure if he feels something towards you or if it was just a bodily pleasure. You decide to wait for him to take the first step.

You lay there for almost half an hour. Then he speaks “It’s almost 11 a.m., we better get going.” You can’t tell if he sounds distant or not. He helps you to get up and you wear your clothes and he does the same. You leave the shed and head towards Jackson. He does not talk; you don’t want to talk as well. But you have more than two hours of walking distance so after a while you are so bored of silence and curiosity eats you alive. “what’s gonna happen now?” you ask expecting for him to say something positive. “Nothing.” he almost barks. You are stunned by the tone of his. “Oh?” is all you can say. “Look, it was a mistake, I shouldn’t be so reckless. You forget what happened, I’ll do the same.” It hurts you. He is so blunt and there is no emotion behind his words. You feel so stupid for even thinking this could have led to something. You feel tears sting to your eyes but try to hold them back. You have no intention to feel smaller in front of this monster of a man. You are unsuccessful though. He hears you sniffing, does not look at you. He does not want to feel more guiltier than this. “Now, don’t cry on me.” he wants to sound harsh; he wants you to hate him so that you will never like him. It does not help. He wants you to be safe and being closer to him is not the safest option.

You can see Jackson, you’re close. That means you can go to your home and cry for hours. Your sadness leaves its place to anger. “You know, you are a disgusting man. You gave me hope and now you’re leaving me like this.” You know that is not the truth but you want to hurt him. “You are right about that. But I didn’t think you could be this naïve to fall for me.” “You deserve to die alone! If your daughter knew all this, she would’ve hated you.” You can see the burning flame in his eyes. For a second you think he will smack you across your face but he does not instead he grabs your arm tightly. “Just because we fucked does not mean you are something to me. You are clearly desperate for attention. You want someone to love you. But that ain’t me. You’re nobody.” He leaves your arm and walks towards his home. You stand there like a fool you tried to hurt him but he did it. You start to walk as well, Maria approaches you. “So, how was your patrol? You seem pale.” “It was okay, a couple of clickers, nothing unusual.” Your voice cracks, she looks at you worriedly. “please, I don’t want to talk.” You explain and she nods. You open your door and enter your house. The moment the door shut closed you start crying.

#joel miller #the last of us #joel miller hbo #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal #joel miller smut #kinktober #tlou hbo #the last of us hbo #fanfic #joel miller angst

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outisgivingpac · 9 months

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Pick-a-card: What kind of lover you are attracting?

Hello everyone, I'm back (kind of?) to deliver my first love reading ever! 👀🔥 This PAC will look into what kind of romantic (but also platonic) relationship you are inviting to your life with your current energy. Basically, we will see what personality traits you like about each other and what makes your relationship work. Be mindful that your energy changes over time, and with this collective reading, only take what resonates 🍀✨

If you want to book a personal reading with me, check out my pinned post. There you will also find the masterlist of all my free PAC! Enjoy~ 🌞

🐱Pick a pile/image you feel most drawn to🐱

Pile 1. Pile 2. Pile 3.

Pile 1: Queen of Swords, 6 of Pentacles, 4 of Swords

First of all, the kind of lover you're attracting are drawn to you by your sharp wits, as well as your fierce and independent nature. Where others find your rough exterior difficult to deal with, this person finds charm and wisdom. They like how argumentive and opinionated you are, like you won't be afraid to speak up for the underdogs and can be real protective around your loved ones. In turn, you might like this person for their generous and forgiving nature. Though their ways of living might trigger your protective instinct at first, like how could someone be so comfortable laying their heart bare? What if someone take advantages of them?? (Lol) But soon enough, you will learn their kindness didn't come from naivety, but their rich life experiences; they are someone emotionally mature and capable to give and receive love from a healthy headspace. As someone who had to navigate through life with careful calculation and always on alert, you will grow to trust this person to mean what they say and be genuine with you throughout your relationship. Fundamentally, you both see each other as a sanctuary. You know the other got your back in the end of the day, and got to "recharge" just by spending time together. Platonic or romantic, this seems to be a wholesome connection that helps you stay grounded during turbulent time.

Pile 2: 4 of Cups reversed, Page of Swords, The Moon reversed

The first thing came up when I read your cards is how it feels like you guys meet/interact with each other in a highly specific environment. Meaning, you don't neccessarily have access to each other's personal life or have constant communication, but just expect to see each other at particular time and space. You could easily be classmate or colleagues, or are sharing a mutual friend. I hear some of you would refer to each other to a third person with a really specific nickname, for example "that guy who takes double expresso" or sth like that. You like this person because they're a social-butterfly with a lotta energy. They often poke fun with you and are fairly successful. On their side, they find you interesting, despite the first impression of you being quite standoffish. You managed to take them aback several times with some witty/funny remarks. They think you have a lot to offer, long as others put effort to help break the ice. This relationship seems to be of a casual and light-hearted nature. It sounds strange but, it just works when neither parties know where they are going, nor do they try too hard to stir the boat somewhere specific. It's the kind loose committal relationship that deepen slowly overtime, like the sediment at the bottom of a river.

Pile 3: 2 of Swords, Strength, Temperance reversed

The person you're attracting seems to be someone you would usually consider as "out of your league". Unlike you who always strike for a harmony in a group, this person has a strong and upfront personality, though I won't describe them as unkind or selfish. Quite the opposite, they are incredibly wise and have a big heart of an advocate. In your eyes, they have accomplished a lot of admirable goals with their talent second to their tenacity and hard work. Comparing to them, you might find yourself too indecisive and easily flustered to step out of your comfort zone. On the other hand, they see you as someone with many contradictions and complex inner world. In conversation with you, they can tell how you have many different interests and potentials, yet more often than not surrender your choices to the circumstances or other people. On the surface, it seems like a "I can fix them" kind of attraction, but at the same time I don't sense a strong desire to force themselves in your life from this person. In other words, they are not someone who would force others to change in order to match them. But they will wait and see if you will break out of the comfort zone, or from the harmony of "how things should be", with your own conviction. If anything, they want to be one of your conscious choice, not an convenient option due to the circumstances.

#tarot #tarot community #tarot reading #intuitive readings #pac #pick a card #pick a card reading

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a-small-writer-in-a-big-world · 3 months

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Closer pt.2: cbf!soap x f!reader

Warnings: smut mdni (18+), mentions of sex, mentions of masturbation, nudity, awkwardness, body image issues, reassurance, slight hand job

Long part but real stuff will happen in this next part due to length

Ever since that night it was hard for Johnny to keep his hands off you, more so than usual.

He tried not to make it obvious when he pulled you into him and held you by the waist. Truth be told it wasn't any different than all the other times he held you, but to him it was so much more. Ever since he felt you flutter around his fingers and heard how you sounded, how he made you sound, he was addicted to feeling you.

Johnny wouldn't admit that he had thought about having sex with you a lot more than a best friend should. There were countless nights at basic training and AIT where he'd touch himself after ending a call with you just thinking about what it'd be like to have you with him.

He thought it was a little embarrassing how he wanted it to only be you, that he wasn't sure there was anyone else out there he trusted right now to take his virginity but you, so when he found out you felt the same he felt immense relief.

And that's what gave him enough courage to start.

Neither of you went any further than touching each other. You both barely kissed each other while it happened, Johnny too afraid it might be a step too far and he assumed you felt the same when you avoided his lips.

He didn't have a problem with what you were doing together, he'd be content if he left and all that happened was him fingering you especially because he was a little nervous about having actual sex with you, but that didn't mean it wasn't on his mind often.

Johnny could only imagine how good you'd feel around his cock...

"You make me worried when you get this quiet." You teased him, bringing him out of his thoughts, and he sent you a look from your bed.

You were at your desk doing homework while he talked your ear off from your bed, a regular routine since he had come back.

"I'm not gonna do anything." He huffed and couldn't help but smirk when he saw you smile. "Unless you want me to tell your neighbors to fuck off."

"Please don't, I still have to live here until I graduate."

"Fine."

He sighed dramatically and flopped back on your bed, his eyes on the ceiling. He went quiet again, feeling his stomach tie up in knots at the thought of asking you if you wanted to take it further.

Would you want to go further with him? Fingering was one thing but actual sex?...he wasn't exactly the most attractive man and he may have gotten more muscle but he didn't think he was all that impressive compared to a lot of the other men's dicks he'd seen in porn.

Though he knew that wasn't real he just couldn't but feel like maybe he wouldn't be up to standard, which was mainly the reason he stopped you every time you tried to touch him.

"What're you thinking about?" You wondered innocently and he swallowed hard.

It was you. He could tell you anything and he knew you wouldn't judge him but this was getting into uncharted territory.

"Do you...want to take things further?" He couldn't look at you as you both fell silent.

He could feel his heart in his throat before you spoke.

"Like now?" You asked and he sat up, finally looking at you with pink dusted cheeks.

"It doesn't have to be now." He shrugged and pulled at his mohawk. "Just...whenever I guess."

You had a flustered look on your face as well while you struggled to look at him. You went quiet again and made the face you always do when you were in deep thought, the face he loved but almost dreaded right now as he waited for your answer.

"We can." You told him and his eyes widened. "Like you said, I trust you and...at this point I can't see myself doing it with anyone else."

Johnny tried not to let that get to his head, or his heart, but he felt some sort of pride and relief knowing that you felt that way about him.

"Awesome...I mean great-" He fumbled and cringed, but you gave him a sympathetic look. "Yeah."

"I'm going to take a shower." You told him and he nodded, his entire body on fire.

When you were gone he tried everything to get rid of the nervousness he felt. He wouldn't say he was anxious guy, in fact he was overly confident in literally everything he did yet when it came to this, when it came to you, he was a mess.

How was he supposed to do this? He wasn't sure if he could live with himself if things didn't work or if he made it bad.

He paced around your dorm, stuck in his own thoughts before he glanced at your bunny. He propped it up on your bed without further thought and stood in front of it with his hands on his hips.

"What the fuck am I gonna do?" He huffed as it's beady eyes stared back at him. "I should know what to do but I'm lost. She might not even like what she sees, she might think this is a bad idea."

Johnny was in the SAS, he had practiced disarming bombs and sniped professionally yet this was the most nervous he had been since his last exam. He almost felt pathetic, especially as he aired out his anxieties to your stuffie.

He stared at it, noticing how it's fur was more worn and how it had discolored from the years of use. It was your prized possession, something that gave you comfort when you needed it and he wished it helped him the same.

"You don't even have to worry about anything." He sighed as he picked it up gently. "Wish I was you right now."

He ran he thumb across the bunny's face, a soft smile pulling at his lips. To think that a stuffie was the reason why he was here in the first place, the whole reason why you two became best friends. He had never lived his life without you in it and despite all of the other embarrassing stuff that had happened you were still here.

"What're you doing?" You stepped in and gave him a curious look.

His smile only grew wider.

"Remember when I got this back from Holly?" He asked, knowing you did but wanting to reminisce with you.

"How could I forget you calling her a 'daft cow' at the age of five." You laughed as you tossed your towel in your closet and he chuckled.

"Yeah, that was kinda mean."

"It was deserved I think."

"Worth the phone call to mam."

Johnny set your bunny back where you had him, the fondness taking over some of the nervousness as he watched you hop onto your bed. He joined you immediately, sitting close enough that he could smell your body wash.

You snuggled up close to him, melting into his side like you always did and he naturally wrapped his arm around you.

Neither of you said anything, both of you too focused on taking in each other's presence rather than anything else.

"Are you nervous?" You asked softly and he sighed deeply.

"Yeah, you?" He asked just as softly and you nodded.

You surprised him when you straddled his lap, his hand holding onto your hips firmly while you struggled to look at him. You placed your hands on his chest and he stared at you, holding you close to him while you chewed your bottom lip

"What's wrong?" His eyebrows knitted together. "We don't have to-"

"I know, I'm just worried about..." You trailed off before you gestured at yourself, at your chest and stomach.

Johnny shouldn't have been surprised knowing that you felt insecure about yourself just like him but for some reason it made him forget all about his own. How could you be insecure when you looked the way you did? Hell, you were the prettiest girl he'd ever seen, there was no reason for that and he'd gladly change your mind.

"I can take my shirt off first." He offered with a smile but you still looked nervous.

"It's different." You argued but he shrugged.

"Better if I'm half naked too."

Johnny tossed his shirt on the floor and gave you a grin, suppressing a shiver when you place your hands on his bare chest. It wasn't the first time you'd touched his chest but everything felt heightened right now.

You scoffed as you squeezed his pec and his ears burned.

"What?"

"Even your chest is bigger. What were they feeding you?"

He barked out a laugh and you giggled, your shoulders loosening up while you ran you ran hands across his chest.

"Nothing good, but a man's gotta eat." He said and you hummed, your smile faltering. He frown as he rubbed circles into your hips and waited until you looked him in the eyes. "I could close ma eyes. Would that help?"

You hesitated but nodded, looking a little guilty as you did so, but he just smiled and shut his eyes. There was moment before you took off your shirt and he clenched his jaw, imagining what you looked like right in front of him, on his lap.

You let out a shaky breath, you hands shaking as well when they returned to his chest. He gave you a comforting squeeze and you told him to open his eyes.

When he did, he felt himself began to grow hard and stopped you from moving anymore on his lap to save himself. He had thought about what you may have looked like bare in front of him but his thoughts had nothing on the real thing.

You looked beautiful. He's not sure what made you think he wouldn't like what he was seeing because the long he stared the harder he got and the more he had stop himself moving his hand to touch you, especially as your nipples hardened.

Johnny licked his lips.

"Can I touch you?" He wondered, as if he hadn't touched you many times before.

When you nodded he ran his hands up your waist, cupping your breasts and massaging his palm into them. You sighed and leaned into his touch, pressing yourself against his lap.

He groaned and began to kiss your breasts. He reveled in the way you whimpered, in the way your soft skin felt against his lips and tongue and grinned when you shuddered underneath his touch. He took a nipple into his mouth and ran his tongue across it, playing with the other between his fingers while you squirmed.

Every time you moved it only made him harder and it was hard to keep his head straight. You threaded your fingers through his hair and tugged lightly, which practically short circuited him.

"Johnny!" You squealed when he lightly nipped your breast.

"Sorry, couldn't help it." He grinned and you whined when he ran his tongue over the spot to soothe it.

He pulled away but held you close to him, his forehead resting against yours. He stared deep into your eyes, clenching his jaw when you purposefully began to grind against his hard cock.

It felt good but some of the nervousness came back.

"You know, I'm fine with staying like this." He admitted but you didn't look convinced.

"Really?" You breathed out and he nodded.

"Yeah...you're beautiful."

He didn't miss the way you became flustered and god it made his heart flutter when you smiled before you wrapped your arms around his neck.

He opened his mouth to say something when you pressed your lips against his. He was stunned by the kiss but didn't pull away this time and instead melted into it. He hummed as you kissed him tenderly, your lips soft against his own while you stole the breath away from him.

Soon he was passionately making out with you, his head going dizzy as you held onto his face while he lightly pinched your nipple. You moaned into his mouth and he stuck his tongue in, tasting you like he had dreamt about.

Johnny was so caught up in you, being consumed by you and consuming you as well that he missed the way your hands had gone to his sweatpants. It wasn't until he felt you tug at the hem of them that he pulled away.

He couldn't look at you, shame bubbling up inside him while he caught his breath. His face had to be red.

“I can close my eyes.” You offered sincerely and he clenched his jaw.

“Nah, I can’t do with the suspense.” He let out a shaky laugh. “Just, don’t get your hopes up?”

“Johnny, don’t say that.”

He grunted but grabbed the hem of his sweatpants. Despite his racing heart, he pulled them down and let his cock spring out, unable to look at you as the cold air made him twitch.

You were silent for a moment and he was sure his entire body was red.

“Johnny, Jesus fuck, how is that supposed to fit?” You squeaked out and his attention snapped towards you with confusion.

“It’s not that big-“

“Yeah it is. Believe me compared to the dick pics I’ve gotten this is…you’re huge.”

He wasn’t sure if he believed you but the way you stared at him made some of the nervousness disappear.

You were telling the truth. He was just a bit over average length but he was thick, and yet somehow he didn’t realize that.

“Can I touch you?” You wondered and he shifted.

“Uh, yeah.” He swallowed hard.

You hesitated for a moment before you attempted to wrap your hand around him. Your fingers couldn’t even connect and the feeling of your warm skin against his throbbing cock made him get even harder.

His breathing got heavier as you held his heavy cock and watched a bead of precum form at the tip.

You gave him a tentative squeeze, not hard, and a moan got stuck in his throat. He guided you on how to move your hand snd soon he was squirming underneath you.

He was impossibly hard and he could feel the tingling pleasure race through him with every passing movement. Your hand felt so good, better than he imagined. He was so close and it was only your hand.

“Holy fuck.” He cursed breathlessly. “I’m gonna come-you need to stop.”

You didn’t stop however, a gleam in your eye as you listened to him moan and watched as precum dribbled down his shaft and over your fingers.

He groaned and grabbed your wrist, pulling you into a heat kiss that you gladly returned. He held onto tightly as he rolled on top of you.

Before long it was just you and him completely naked on the bed together.

tags are closed! Sorry no more tagging

A/n: boom. I know I said I’d wait until tomorrow but I’ve got other stuff planned so here’s this enjoy

Tags: @elysian0612 @cassiecasluciluce @pepsicolacoochie @hayleybarnesx @tiredmetalenthusiast @misshoneypaper @sodavrr @ghostslittlegf @glitterypirateduck @comeonatmebruh @mandalover2023 @blush-haze @xxshadowbabexx @infpt-zylith @sadsackssss @fandomsfanficsfantasize @blush-haze @writingmysanity

#cbf!soap #john soap mactavish x reader #john soap mactavish x you #johnny soap mactavish #john soap mactavish #johnny soap mctavish x reader #johnny soap mctavish x you #soap x reader #soap x you #john soap mctavish x reader #john soap mctavish x you #call of duty

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yuyu1024 · 3 months

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Roommate

Pairings: Yunho × y/n

Genre/tags: first time

Warning: smut/angst 🔞🔞🔞 unprotected sex, pet names, a lot of cursing, mention of masturbating

~~~ [lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 2.6k

Disclaimer:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

Note: another random drabble i just wrote before i slept the other day. But forgot to post 😅 no storyline

***

Typical. Everyone around you is either holdinh hands with their partner or just basically eating each other's face like you don't exist in their friendship group.

You love your friends, you do, with all of your heart, however sometimes you just want to slap them across their faces and tell them to stop being showy of their love, affection and horny asses while you are with them. They know you are single and lonely. They can try to control it right?

It is not like you are single solely by choice. It's not like that. You also wanted to date. You wanted to try. But the problem is, no one is even willing to try it with you. Basically, you think, you are not attractive enough for boys or men to even look back to you and talk.

Just thinking about it makes you want to cry.

You did what you can to change so that society can notice you. You started wearing contact lenses to let them see your eyes that usually hides behind your thick glasses. You even styled your hair. Not a drastic change but your friend says the layering cut fits you. Then you also updated your wardrobe. You still have the comfy ones in there but you added some basic blacks, whites, browns and nudes color for basic mix and match for future dates.

However, no future dates ever happened since then.

You thought, who are you kidding? No one wanted to date you when you are you so how can anyone date you now as well when you are trying to be 'normal' and same as the others.

"Here is your pineapple juice." San, your bestfriend, brings you your nonalcohol drink.

"Thank you..." you say as you take it from his hand. "Where is your girlfriend?"

"Ah, she went outside to meet his big brother..."

"Brother? She has a brother?"

"Are you even not listening to any of our conversation for the past year?" He raise his brow at you

You roll your eyes. "Oh sorry... how can I listen to your conversation when all I could see is your mouth nibbling her neck whilst your hand is on her boobs and squishing it like I'm not here!" You rant

San laughs at you. "Babe! I'm sorry!" He puts his arm around you. "You know I can't get enough of my girlfriend..."

You scoff. "I know! Like it's not obvious. I see it every week we go out and hang out!" You push him away jokingly.

"You act annoyed and disgusted by us... but when you get yourself a man... you'll know how we feel." He says, laughing

"IF... I get myself a man. You know I'm struggling here..." you sigh, shaking your head.

"Hi I'm back!" San's girlfriend emerges from the crowd, pulling a tall guy with her. "Got my big brother here."

"Hey! Yunho! Long time no see!" San gets up and hugs his girl's brother.

"Yeah... it's been quite some time now..." Yunho responses. "But I'm back... but... homeless..."

"Homeless?" San questions as they all sit down.

"He's moving back here... he just resigned from his job and looking for a place to live." San's girl answers. "He is staying at my place for now... but my unit is not big enough for the two of us..."

"Right... hmm... I would suggest my building but currently all units are full." San says. "Oh wait! Y/N!"

All of them looks at you with dear eyes whilst you were drinking your pineapple juice.

"What?" You ask San

"By the way, she is my bestfriend... Y/N.... and Y/N... Yunho... Her brother..." he introduces you

"Hi..." you greet, smiling.

"So," San claps his hands, grinning. "Didn't your roommate just moved out?" He asks you

"Yes..." you are lost why the sudden question. But then your eyes met San's girlfriend's eyes. "Wait... are you suggesting..."

"Don't worry about him!" She stands and sits beside you. "His work is nighshift so... when you are home he's not! So it's like living with no one..."

"Huh? Wait. Why my place?"

It's not that you are being rude but it is a bit awkward since you just met the gorgeous guy a second ago.

"Girl... just accept it." San suddenly whispers to you. "He have a ton of friends... goodlooking ones..."

"Are you suggesting to let him stay with me in return to find me a guy?" You hiss at San and then hit him on the arm.

"Don't worry... it's just for a mean time... while he's saving up and looking for a place to move near his work. Which is oddly same area as your place."

San is really enjoying this sitution. You don't like what he is doing. You're guessing he is either playing cupid for you and Yunho or he's trying to make you look good for Yunho so he could also help you find a man.

Wow. You're bestfriend is so desprate to get you laid and have a life.

"Maybe her building have an extra unit?" Yunho asks

"Well... my place is more like a 3 story apartment building... the owner lives at the house next door and the two units under me are all taken." You explain

"Her place is outside the city yet not to far to get to." San explain

"Hers is more quiet than my place. You definitely could get your sleep in the morning." His sister adds

"Really..." his eyes then shifts to his sister to you. "Don't worry... I could pay rent if you like... I could share with the food too."

That's fine you guess. Right? Since it's going to be just for a mean time? What could go possibly wrong of having a guy in your apartment just to sleep during the day while you are out at work...

***

"San!" You hiss while you slowly close your bedroom's door. "I don't think I can do this." You whisper on your phone

"What do you mean?"

"You and your girlfriend missed out an important detail about Yunho... before you let me take him in my place!"

"What detail? Yunho is a nice guy. He's not going to hurt you or anything... he's very kind too and caring. He is a decent guy Y/N."

You sigh as you go on further your room, making a ton more distant from your door so Yunho won't hear you.

"Yeah, he's great. Sure. I get that. But..."

"But what?"

How can you explain to your bestfriend that whenever you wake up in the morning to get ready for your day, not just one time but like a few times now in the past month, THAT you caught your new roommate masturbating. Like seriously moaning outloud and out and about. He does not even try to close his door or anything!

"Y/N? You're still there?"

You snap out of it. You try to stop imagining it all over again. But fucking hell, how can you remove the image and the sound in your head? It is now engraved in your brain and it echoes in your ears.

"Hello? Are you still alive?" San asks

"Yes... I'm still here..."

"So... what is it?"

"Fuck..." you hiss. "Nothing....nevermind... I'll just.... whatever. Yeah... I just hope he finds a new place soon."

You say outloud. It's not like you don't like him now just because of what you keep witnessing every now and then. It's just awkward for you. Awkward in terms of..... you don't know what to do about it. The dirty thoughts building in your mind is too much for you to even handle.

You don't want to be a pervert or a freak imagining him fucking you. Especially with the length he got? Oh dear. Just imagine him pounding you and making you lose your shit.

"Good morning." Yunho greets you the second you got out of your room. He just finished showering and preparing breakfast. "I made something quick.. scrambled and toast..."

"Thanks..." you try to avoid looking at him. Not because you caught him today.

He was not doing it today actually but because, the reason you called San in panic mode is becauss you dreamt about it. And that's not okay. It made you, wet early in the morning. Even for someone who is a virgin and only knows sex through books and movies.

"You're not up early today." He asks before he bite his toast

"Ah... it's my off today." You say as you pour yourself a cup of coffee.

"On a wednesday? Middle of the week?"

"Yeah..." you then add sugar and milk to your drink. "Forced leave actually... since I don't use them much and my boss thinks I'm a workaholic." You take a sip and exhale satisfaction. "He said... I should use a few days and just... relax... plus the weather lately is not good so... it's okay..."

Both of you look outside the window and watch how strong the storm is.

"Yeah... it was a struggle to get to work last night and even get home earlier..."

"Glad you got home safe." You say, "A friend of mine at work lost control during his drive... he almost hit a tree..."

"That's bad."

"It is..."

You glance at him and saw him looking at you. You try to smile it off and ignore the fact that he is starring and just continued to look outside the window and drink your coffee. But then...

"You know... you look cute with your glasses on." He suddenly says. "Hmm no actually... I think... you look sexier with your glasses on."

What the fuck was that?

"S-sorry...?" You can't process what he just said

"I'll go ahead and sleep..." he smiles. "Enjoy the breakfast I made for you." And as he walks pass you, his hand slightly brushes off your ass like he tried to touch it but didn't actually. "Goodnight, Y/N..." he says before he disappears to his room.

You thought that, THAT one thing. That morning is just a fluke like he was just being nice and flirty. But it has no malice.

Because you thought, why? Why would someone like him? Tall, handsome, sexy and someone nice will take interest to someone like you? Someone no one seems to like.

But then... a few more weeks of being getting to know each other more, sharing flirtatious gazes and catching him still masturbating. Well, like probably any smut books you've read, it all ended up having a spicy moment with your roommate.

"Y-yunho.... Yu..... Yunho...!" You are out of breathe and probably about to pass out. That's how tired and weak you are right now. "I... I aaaah!!! I think I'm going to explode!" You cry, grasping onto the headboard for support.

"I can't stop.... I can't." He grunts as he pushes himself in you more and more. "You're sucking me in real fucking good!" He snarls. He is breathing hard and heavy as you are. "Fuck!"

What happened? How did you end up like this? Legs spread open, naked and being pounded by Yunho.

"Fuck!" You moan as he constantly hit your spot. "Yunho! This is fucking insane!" You are tearing up but its not from the pain but its from the high its giving you. It tickles you from the inside.

You never knew sex would be this damn good.

"Shit!" Yunho hisses before he locks his lips to yours. "What the fuck are you doing? You are getting tighter and tigher... fuck so good! Aaah!!" He wraps his arms around you, caging you more close to his body. "Y/N!" He calls your name, "shit... holy shit."

You are not sure what you are doing. But your body is tense and reacting very well to him fucking you.

"I'm dizzy because of the alcohol..." you exhale. "I don't know... how can.... how I even..." You stop to scream as he pounded you real hard and you felt it in your gut. "Fuck!"

"Come for me..." he then says before he nuzzles his face on your neck. "You even smell so good."

Right. You two celebrated your promotion. You're supposed to celebrate with San and his girl too but since the weather is bad and not safe to really go out, you decide to just do it with Yunho. Bad idea was to drink alcohol with him to help you to warm up a bit since it's snowing bad outside. Coz now... it got you fucked and still getting fucked up.

"Oh god! Yunho!" You moan. You actually think you exploded. You feel more wet down there. But Yunho don't seem to mind. Because he's not stopping yet

You got pretty close already after a decent amout of months living with him. But tonight, is another level of closeness. The alcohol vamps up both your horny asses.

You being curious about how sex feels, craving it even if you haven't done it yet ever and him, being vacant in that 'section' for months and months now since he is single and busy. So... the combination of that got you to your position now.

"How do you feel?" He asks, looking at you eye to eye

Your mouth is open and breathing loudly but you still managed to answer him. "A-amazing..."

Your answer made him smile. "I'm close..." he says, "Do you want me to pull it out?"

"Pull out? Why?" You whine

He faintly laughs and then kisses you on the corner of your lips. "We don't have protection. We got so excited that I forgot to grab a condom."

Then you extend your legs and wrap it around his hips. "Don't. I want to know how it feels.... I want to feel it. Everything... give it to me..."

"Fuck Y/N...." he snarls before biting his lower lip. "You're making me more horny by saying that."

"Please...?"

"Hold on then..." he says before he picks up his pace.

He thrusts more faster and stronger. He is running to reach his climax. And it didn't take long for him to break since you clench so tightly whenever he hits your core perfectly.

"Fucking hell!" He gasp for air and your embrace the moment he lets go of himself. "Y/N... you are one dangerous woman..." he mumbles, "fuck..."

"I should be the one telling you that... you seduced me..." you says as you softly kiss his cheek

"Oh baby it's the other way around..." he pulls out of you and lays flat beside you. "The moment you came out of your room wearing my hoodie by mistake..." Yunho covers his face with his forearm, hiding his smile. "I lost it."

You giggle as you find him adorable. He is embarassed right now but when he asked you if could fuck you hours ago, there was no hint of shyness in him.

"Y/N...?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I be your permanent roommate?"

"What?"

"Because..." He pushes himself up and turn to face you. "I don't think I'd allow myself to not have a taste of you every fucking day now..." he leans forward to your chest area and let his tongue swirl around your hardened nipple.

You squirm, feeling it from your boobs to your core. Your cheeks also becomes as red as the cherries on the cake you have left on the dining table.

"Looks like... you're body wants to go again..." he teases while he is still licking you up

"Fuck... My nipples are so sensitive plus it feels so good... I think... I think... I'm horny again..." you breathe. Your hips are already out of control moving just from him teasing your nipple.

"I can go again if you like..." Yunho then kisses you on the lips. "I told you... I'm... the perfect... roommate for you." He says in between kisses

"Really?" You smile

"Yes..." Yunho scoops you up making sure he gets more access to your other boob.

"Fuck me again...?" you ask, eyes closed

You hear him smile. "I'll never say no to that."

#yuyu1024 #ateez imagines #ateez x reader #ateez x y/n #ateez fanfiction #ateez fanfic #atz x reader #ateez smut #ateez x female reader #kpop fanfic #yunho fanfic #yunho x reader #yunho smut #ateez yunho #ateez scenarios #ateez hard thoughts #ateez hard hours #atz yunho #atz yunho fanfic

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just-j-really · 7 months

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Concept that grabbed me and wouldn't let me go:

Dreamling soulmate AU, only they're not soulmates.

I have ideas for the canon timeline, but for the sake of argument, let's go with a modern AU. Dream and Hob aren't friends, exactly, but they're in the same friend circle, so they see each other fairly often. And one night, Dream's been dragged out drinking with some friends, and he overhears a very drunk Hob saying that soulmates are stupid, HE'S not going to go along with it, he'll fall in love with whoever he wants! So Dream (a hopeless romantic) makes some sort of bet with him, that when he finds his soulmate he'll be blissfully happy with her.

After that, whenever they run into each other at other's friends' events Dream will ask Hob if he's met his soulmate (Eleanor, according to the messy handwriting on Hob's arm), and Hob will be like "Nope! But I've got a job at this weird startup!" and then talk at him for three hours. The bet goes from a bet they're taking seriously to an excuse to talk to each other to a Weird Bit that's an essential part of their friendship.

And they are, genuinely, friends at this point, which is why it's such a betrayal for Dream when Hob answers his joking "found your soulmate yet?" with a quiet, "I think I might have. He's been asking me that question for like a year now."

Dream does not take this well. He believes in soulmates, wholeheartedly. He can't figure out a single interpretation of Hob's declaration that doesn't leave him feeling used: best-case scenario Hob legit believes what he's saying (but is still using Dream in this obviously doomed experiment of his), worst-case scenario Hob's noticed that Dream is attracted to him (even if that will never ever go any further than meaningless attraction because they are not soulmates) and is deliberately trying to take advantage of him to prove his point.

They argue. Dream storms off.

Somewhere in here, Dream has a relationship with his Actual Literal Soulmate, Alianora. It is extremely Messy, and she breaks it off because they may be soulmates but clearly this is not working. She's not the first person ever to end things with their soulmate, but it's extremely rare, and the fallout is shit-awful for both of them because everyone in their lives is trying to figure out whose fault it was, never mind that the answer was "nobody's- they met under really awful circumstances and the specific cocktail of that and the pressure, both internal and external, they were under to Be Perfectly Happy Together Forever just. Poisoned their relationship and they didn't deal with it until it exploded and by then it was too late."

Eventually, Dream and Hob resolve their argument, complete with an inn-building-equivalent Big Gesture from Hob. Their relationship goes back to the way it was, mostly, except that Dream is undeniably aware that Hob is sad and pining after Dream and trying to hide it from him. And Hob being sad is Basically the Worst Thing That Could Possibly Happen.

Dream is... more aware of the implications of that thought than he'd like to be.

And once he's noticed that it's really, really hard not to notice how gorgeous Hob is when he smiles, the way his heart flutters whenever Hob calls him a nickname or makes sure to grab Dream a coffee when he gets one for himself, the fact that he'd be perfectly happy sitting and listening to Hob talk for hours...

And things are different now. Dream's soulmate doesn't want him, he's not betraying her if he starts a doomed relationship with someone else. Hob will be happy. The only person getting hurt here will be Dream, when Hob inevitably meets his soulmate. He's setting himself up to get hurt, yes, but at least he'll get to be happy with Hob before that.

So one night he very tentatively asks if Hob still meant what he said, about Dream being his soulmate. Hob's like "Crap I thought I was hiding it I'm so sorry I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

Dream's like "You are not actually that subtle. But I'm. Glad. You still feel that way."

It takes Hob a few seconds and a fairly terrible emotional rollercoaster to figure out what Dream meant by that, and Dream is not good about clarifying. But when he does he asks Dream on a date, and Dream agrees, and before he knows what's hit him Hob's moved in with him and is very cautiously hinting around about engagement rings and he can't possibly be in love with Hob, right? Whatever's between them is too easy, too natural, too much like they added romance to their existing friendship and somehow it worked perfectly and-

Oh. Shit.

And just when Dream realizes he's invested- not just invested, committed, this was Absolutely Not how the story's supposed to go and it's terrifying but he desperately wants it anyway- just when he's got something to lose-

Hob meets Eleanor.

And almost immediately asks if Dream would mind him explaining things to her one-on-one, since he thinks it would go more smoothly that way. Dream says he doesn't, and braces himself. It's not that he thinks Hob is lying to him. He 100% trusts that Hob has made this meeting to turn Eleanor down.

He's just also 100% certain that the moment Hob has a conversation with his soulmate he'll realize just how important a soulmate is, that Dream was right and that next to the person he's destined for, Dream means nothing to him.

When Hob gets back from the meeting he's happier than Dream's seen him in months, maybe ever, and Dream braces himself.

But the first thing Hob does after closing the door is kiss Dream, for several minutes.

And the second thing he does is excitedly tell Dream, "It went really well! She said I'm not worth it!"

And Dream's like "...what."

And Hob explains that he'd told Eleanor that he was very sorry, but he already had a soulmate, and she'd been upset but essentially told him "Yeah fine, if you're this adamant about not wanting a soulmate it is not at all worth it for me to pursue anything," with a grudging sort of understanding.

And Dream's like "...what."

And they go back and forth for a bit until finally Dream's like "But she's your SOULMATE. You're not even going to TRY to have something with your soulmate in order to stay with a man who is so bad at romance his soulmate left him."

And Hob's like "I've been saying for years now that you're my perfect other half, soulmates and destiny be damned, and I meant it. You're perfect, and I'm not letting you go for anything."

And Dream... still can't entirely believe in an undying non-soulmate romance the way Hob does. But he wants to, and he trusts Hob enough to try. And several years later they're married, maybe talking about kids, and in some mundane little domestic moment Dream realizes he does entirely believe in this now, in a way that snuck up on him gradually.

And he tells Hob he's won the bet.

#dreamling #the anti-soulmate au #the follow up to this is Eleanor and Alianora doing an enemies-to-lovers thing #with dreamling being obnoxiously domestic in the background #my fic #unsoulmates au

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randomfandomblabdom · 11 months

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I really need to vent about how much I like Cal and Merrin's dynamic in Jedi: Survivor cause they've quickly become probably my favorite canon pairing in the franchise.

I absolutely love that this relationship is built on the basis of friendship, respect, and a genuine mutual understanding of each other. From gameplay comments and conversations, Cal is very clearly so enamored with Merrin and literally everything about her. I know it's become a bit of a joke how clearly into her he is but he just thinks she's the most incredible being in the entire galaxy and it's honestly the sweetest thing. The writers could have very easily made his connection to Merrin a weakness or had it where it made his struggle with the darkness harder but I adore that they allowed him to be completely smitten with her and presented it as a strength. It's refreshing not only in Star Wars but in media in general, at least in my opinion. Love being presented as a positive asset is something so deeply missing in media nowadays - especially romantic love. Far too often in this day and age, love is presented as a weakness or something that will only bring you down, so I respect the fuck out of this writing.

Oops, this got really, really long so I'm putting the rest under a cut. It's kind of spitfire, so I apologize if it feels random.

I love how their first kiss is Merrin basically making a split-second decision where she realizes she doesn't want to die without kissing him at least once even if it runs the risk of making things awkward should they survive. Is it cliche as fuck? Absolutely, but it works so well in this instance. Cal being so dumbfounded, gawking at her like a fish, trying to process what the hell just happened that BD has to remind him they're literally about to die is the best thing too.

I appreciate that Cal is so obviously hesitant about giving into any sort of romantic feelings for Merrin because, of course, he would be due to his upbringing. He's pushing so hard against it to the point that he's even completely reluctant to so much as discuss it with Bode when they're on the Lucrehulk. Personally, I don't think Cal is oblivious to their potential feelings for each other. I've never been a huge fan of treating Cal as completely naive. He still might be a bit emotionally stunted, sure but he's lived 10 years outside of the Jedi Order at this point. I think he's hesitant to talk about it because first of all, it's really none of Bode's business but also, if he talks about it, he has to admit it, and if he admits it, that makes it real, and if it's real... well fuck, now he has to do something about it either way which is exactly what he's trying to avoid. I think he's trying to stay as neutral about it as he can until he gets to a point in the story/his arc where he decides he actually wants or feels ready to make a decision. Bode almost gets it out of him too before they're interrupted. The progression of Bode's questioning during that mission is something I actually find really interesting but that's a different topic.

Many people have pointed this out but Cal smiling so brightly while Merrin is clearly freaking the fuck out of Bode is just the cutest thing. Not only because he finds such humor in her scaring the shit out of people for fun when he of all people knows it's a running joke but he also goes along with the joke any chance he gets. He does this even when she's not around. People will be freaked out by her and he still plays along and it's not even like, "Yeah, I know, she's fucking scary bro," it's more like, "Yeah, I know, she can wake the dead, isn't it amazing how scary she is!" Someone else already pointed this out in another post but that feels almost more intimate than any kiss they share. His attraction to her encompasses all sides of her including those that many people find incredibly terrifying and I find that so endearing, he wouldn't ask her to change for anything. He's the only person who genuinely isn't freaked out by her in the slightest but not only that, he finds that side of her to be so incredible. Also, Cal being so blase with Bode about his obvious attraction to Merrin a mission prior and then having the most blatant sexual tension with her in front of Bode in the next scene is peak comedy, I don't care what anybody says. Like, Cal, honey, you just spent the entire previous mission trying to convince Bode (and yourself) there's nothing there and/or you're not pursuing it, so you're not doing yourself any favors by looking at her like that, standing that close to her, and speaking to her with the cadence of a lover bro.

I love that the second Cal walks onto the Mantis after killing Rayvis, she instantaneously picks up on the fact that something's wrong. Literally instantaneously. You can see her face drop the moment she sees him. She just knows something happened. Her ability to read him insanely well is something that is introduced very early on in the game, most noticeably in the campfire scene, and it stays consistent over the course of the story. The following conversation they have is honestly one of the best moments between them in the entire game. It's this type of conversation I've been wanting to see with a Jedi and their potential lover since Revenge of the Sith. He is so open with her even in a somewhat roundabout way about his genuine fear of losing himself and while the conversation is not explicitly about their relationship, the implication is still there and she 100% picks up on it, especially since he wonders aloud why Santari didn't see the change in Dagan before it was too late. Instead of shaming him for his reservations or calling it ridiculous or anything else she could have said at this moment, she instead decides to possibly help curb those fears and give him some comfort regarding it. She goes on to basically tell him in so few words she knows what she's signing up for and is willing to cross those bridges with him if they come. It's a great difference between Cal and Dagan. Though it's never outright stated that Dagan and Santari were in love, I feel like it's... pretty heavily implied, or at least he was definitely in love with her (was I the only one who read it that way??) but whereas Dagan demands that Santari talk him away from the darkness and seems to almost expect her to, Merrin herself plainly offers to do it with no prodding on Cal's part. It doesn't seem to be a burden Cal wanted to put on her, not something he was inherently expecting of her but she willingly offers, it is her choice, she wants to carry that burden with him. While she does seem maybe slightly annoyed by his hesitancy regarding their relationship to each other, she is also so incredibly patient with him while he's stewing over what he wants to do. It's beautiful. As a side note, "A shared dream is not so easy to wake from," is such an amazing line. Seriously, I want merch with that quote on it.

I liked that going through with the relationship was Cal's choice in the end. Merrin didn't push it, she didn't pressure it. She let him bring it up and come to her when he was ready and if that meant potentially being rejected by a man she very clearly adores, so be it, and I have no doubt she would've respected that choice if that's what he'd wanted. I know a lot of people seem to think he only makes this decision due to Bode's questions earlier but it really seems to be a combination of multiple things that lead to this. Bode picking his brain definitely got him thinking about it, maybe more than he wanted to, but I do think the other big part of Cal being willing to go forward with it at this moment is his confrontation with Dagan that, while an illusion, did cause him to come to grips with his own mortality in a way. "How does it feel knowing you're about to die. That your life meant nothing." As Cal says, Dagan uses an extremely powerful force hallucination based on fear here, so while losing himself to the darkness might scare him, his life being completely meaningless is what he seems to fear the most. Cal's journey throughout Survivor encompasses many things but one of them revolves around feeling aimless and finding a purpose, preferably outside of being a hired weapon that will surely and slowly consume him. It's what everyone consistently tells him: find a home, settle down, embrace happiness because it's fleeting, the path you're on is not healthy and will consume you otherwise...etc. His decision here to give in to his romantic attraction to Merrin is a culmination of all of these interactions and conversations he's had throughout the story, how they've influenced his line of thinking, and him coming to his own conclusions regarding what he personally wants and at this moment, when things are finally, calm and everyone is in a good place with a plan going forward, he personally decides there's no point in living up to the expectations of the Jedi when the Order doesn't exist anymore and wants to see where this could go.

I love the fact that when Merrin witnesses Cal's darkness in the ISB, it's made abundantly clear that she's just as afraid of losing him as he most likely is of losing her. I do think a major reason why she was able to talk him down at the moment is that he fundamentally understands what it feels like to lose everything and everyone, your entire livelihood. That is what they first bonded over and it's something that keeps them bonded in the saddest, yet most profound way and he would never want to add himself to the list of people she's lost. She's also doing exactly what she said she would. In an instance where again, she reads him like a fucking book, she can tell just from his responses on the intercom that he's losing himself and is guiding him back. She immediately went to rescue him as she says. No question, no argument, nothing, she simply does it. She made him a promise and she kept it and in that moment, he promises that she won't lose him, he won't allow it. This is a fundamental difference between Anakin and Padme's dynamic and Cal and Merrin's. While Anakin's love for Padme quite famously ends up extremely selfish in an "I would lose myself to ensure you're not ripped away from me" type of way, Cal and Merrin's dynamic is leaning towards a more selfless, "I won't allow myself to be lost because I can't let that happen for your sake," type of way and god damn it, I love it.

There are several interactions they have in gameplay that I'm lowkey peeved weren't included in cutscenes and one of them is when Cal returns to the Mantis after all but demolishing the ISB, they have this really short but great interaction where Merrin says that if he ever feels that way again, he needs to tell her. She doesn't even ask him to do it, she all but demands it, "If you feel that way again, you will tell me." She's demanding communication from him regarding the darkness and he doesn't fight this demand at all. He agrees to respect this request and I fucking love that from both of them. I will genuinely be kinda upset if we don't get a moment like that in the next game.

I like how their kiss after they've successfully navigated the abyss is kind of their first kiss inverted but instead of "omg we might die, I need to kiss you" it's more "holy shit, we survived, I need to kiss you," but instead of Merrin initiating, now it's Cal. I'm probably reading too much into that but whatever, it's cute.

This isn't about any one part in particular but I do love that it looks like the headcanon so many people had regarding Merrin most likely being quite physically affectionate is turning out to be true.

...I think that's enough for now lol I might add on some things later

Apologies for any typos and thanks for indulging my rambling if you got this far.

#star wars #jedi survivor #jedi survivor spoilers #cal kestis #nightsister merrin #merrical #calmerrin #cal x merrin #dagan gera #santari khri #bode akuna #mine

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golbrocklovely · 15 days

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complicated // sam golbach

A/N: had an idea like this for quite sometime, and i was finally able to finish this fic. just so everyone's aware, there WILL be a part two. but it might not be in the way you think lol hope you enjoy this fic and lmk what you think :)

prompt: you and sam needed a stress relief, and if you couldn't get it from who you really wanted it from, second best was better than nothing at all. || sam golbach x fem!reader

trigger warning: SMUT, drunk sex, cursing, snc are both single in this fic, angst, finding comfort in each other, friends to lovers, kitchen sex, almost getting caught, mentions of babygirl, good girl, sam is using you and you are using sam

word count: 4020

~~~~~~~~~~~

To say my relationship with Sam and Colby was complicated was a bit of an understatement. But I had no one to blame, really, except for myself.

I had known them for years, being one of the first friends they made once they moved out to LA. We were always friendly with each other, and kept in contact over the years. Then one day, they told me about how they needed an assistant, someone that could help out behind the scenes as well as being in videos occasionally. Things fell into place perfectly, and I signed on to be their assistant. I moved out to Vegas with them, living in an apartment not too far away from their place.

God only knew why I even had my own place since I crashed at their house more often than not.

Our relationship never seemed all that complicated.... until one day. Something clicked in my head, and suddenly I became extremely aware of how attractive Colby was. His eyes, his smile, his voice. Sam, of course, was attractive too. But he always had Kat, so it was never appropriate for me to like him. But Colby... he was basically an eternal bachelor. So, it made total sense for me to like him.

And our friendship was a bit strange to begin with. We were both naturally flirty people, constantly hitting on one another whether sober or drunk; but especially when we were drunk. There were some close encounters with us, especially once we started opening up to one another. I could count on two hands how many times we had kissed, and on one how many times we had almost gone farther than that. But we never finished what we started.

The problem with Colby is I could never tell where we stood entirely. Sometimes, it seemed like I was all he wanted to pay attention to. Other times, he was with someone else, and wouldn't even glance my way. It was strange. He was always close, but somehow an arm's length away.

And some nights, I couldn't stand him. The back and forth, the cat and mouse game... It was exhausting, to say the least. Sometimes I just wanted to know how he felt. Exactly. With no add ons or extra shit. But with Colby, it was never that simple.

This was normal for us. But things changed once Sam became single, and both of the boys were out on the prowl. It was like their auras changed, and suddenly I was seeing them through different eyes.

I had no one to blame except myself. But at the same time, I didn't feel guilty.

If he can have fun, so can I.

~~~~

“But did you see him? He was basically humping the air!” Colby laughed, kicking his shoes off.

I followed him and Sam into the kitchen area, our usual hang out spot. “Oh my God, yes! It was almost like your old Vine.”

He groaned, “Please don't bring that-”

“Baby grinnnnndd oooon meeeeeee!” I sang dramatically, completely offkey.

He deadpanned, “I hate you so much.”

I faux gasped, clutching my nonexistent pearls. “Wha? How could you say that? I'm one of your best friends!”

“And you're about to be unemployed if you keep it up.” Colby crossed his arms defiantly.

I narrowed my eyes. “You wouldn't.”

He smirked, “Try me.”

I turned away from him, yelling to my other best friend, “Sam! Tell Colby he can't just fire me because I'm making fun of him.”

Sam looked up from his phone, “Uh? I wasn't paying attention to what either of you were saying.”

“What are you doing?” I asked, dropping the topic.

He stared at me innocently, “...Trying to order Taco Bell.”

“Oh my God, Taco Bell.” Colby moaned, closing his eyes, “Oh, fuck.”

I grimaced, “Damn Colby, try not to come in your pants. It's just Taco Bell.”

“I'm sorry, I just get hard for Taco Bell.” Colby admitted casually.

Sam chimed in, “Dude, I get hard for Taco Bell too.”

I scrunched my face, “You guys are weird.”

Colby smiled playfully, walking away, “I'm gonna go change, order my regular?”

“Gotchu, brother.” Sam nodded.

I sighed, leaning against the island. I watched Sam scroll through his phone, clicking away at options for food.

“What do you want?” He asked.

I shrugged, “I don't know. Can I see your phone?”

“Come over here. I don't want to throw my phone.” He commented.

I huffed jokingly, walking over to him, taking it from his hand. "Well, someone's in a shitty mood."

“I'm not in a shitty mood. I'm tired, I'm drunk, and I'm very hungry. And I wish I ordered Taco Bell in the Uber home.” Sam replied, exacerbated.

“So... a shitty mood?” I repeated.

He grumbled, “Yeah, sure. Whatever.”

“Is something the matter?” I questioned, still looking at the Taco Bell menu.

He paused, then finally spoke. “It's been a year.”

I glanced up, “A year?”

“Since we... broke up.” He finally finished.

My eyes widened, putting his phone down on the counter. "Oh shit, I'm sorry Sam."

He exhaled, swatting at me, “It's okay.”

“No, we shouldn't have.... gone out tonight.” I half-heartedly argued.

“Why? So I could sulk at home over my failed relationship? I don't think that would have been any better.” He quipped.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” I placed my hand on his shoulder.

“I don't know.” He leaned back, rubbing his eyes tirelessly, “It just feels weird, you know? I never thought I would be single again, so all of this just feels... off.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, you're not the only one struggling in the love department.” I remarked.

“What? You and your secret pining for Colby not working out for you?” Sam sassed.

I glared, sucking my teeth, You know, sometimes you can be a real ass.”

“What? Because I can see you like Colby and he's just... blind, to it?” He smirked.

“Why don't you tell him that and not me?” I jeered.

“I'm not getting involved with whatever the two of you got going on. I swore off helping his dating life long ago.” He chuckled, putting his hands up defensively.

I scoffed, “You were literally his wingman tonight as he flirted with the waitress!

“And you wouldn't have noticed that if you weren't watching him like a hawk.” He mentioned.

I rolled my eyes, my hands resting on my hips. “Trust me, I wanted to look away. But it was like watching a train crash.”

Sam laughed, “A train crash that ended in him getting her number.”

I exhaled. “Again, the whole 'you're an ass' comment stands.”

“Why don't you just tell him how you feel?” He rebutted.

“He knows,” I winced, shrugging. “He... has to know. He just pretends it's not real. When there's no one else, that's when he comes to me.”

“And how does that make you feel?” He inquired.

“Like shit. I hate being a second choice.” I muttered.

He hummed, “I know the feeling.”

“Yeah, well at least you got to be first. I don't think that's ever gonna happen with me and him.” I sighed, ignoring my heart dropping at my own words.

Sam, always the optimist, replied, “Maybe that's better in the long run. Maybe you work better as friends.”

“Maybe.... But what about you?” I stared up at him.

“What about me?” He chuckled.

“You really do have a knack for just changing up the conversation so you don't gotta talk about yourself.” I pointed at him, pushing my finger into his chest.

“What do you wanna know?” He asked.

I questioned, looking into his eyes. “How are you feeling? Genuinely.”

“Genuinely... I'm…” He was hesitant, but spoke, “a bit lonely.”

“Have you tried to be with other girls since your break up?” I queried.

Sam nodded, “Yeah. But none of them seemed right. I've realized I don't like being alone.”

“Not many truly do.” I added.

“It just feels odd not having someone there, you know? You wake up for years with the same person over and over again, but once they're gone it's like... something's missing.” He exhaled, his head falling back.

“Well, someone is.” I murmured, leaning against him.

He groaned, rubbing his eyes, “I kinda feel like a teenager again, but in the worst way.”

I turned to him, puzzled. “Really?”

“I can't tell how I feel anymore. Or what I want.” He flipped his hands over, weighing the options, “Am I lonely or just alone? Do I miss her or just the comfort that having her brought?”

I jokingly mimicked him, “Am I finally into someone new or am I just horny?”

“Yeah…” He gave me a strange look, but laughed, “What a weird way to put it, but yeah.”

I pffted, “Oh, I'm sorry. You two just said you get hard for Taco Bell, but I can't say I get horny sometimes?”

“Well you are my employee.” He smiled sarcastically.

“And you're my employer. So it's even worse.” I glared, “I should report you to HR.”

“We don't have HR.” Sam deadpanned.

“HR will have to hear about this... once they exist.” I declared.

He rolled his eyes at me, “Are you really horny that often?”

I inhaled, “Bro, honestly.... it's really bad sometimes.”

“Really? Like how bad?” He pushed.

“The other night I almost called up an ex just to see if he would fuck me.” I admitted, uncomfortable by the memory.

He whistled, “Ooof, that's pretty bad.”

“What about you? How horny do you get?” I asked, almost confused why I was.

He thought for a second, then stated, “Mmm, maybe every couple days.”

I snickered, “Oh that's not too bad. Aren't guys notorious for being constant horn dogs?”

“I guess so, but you already know I'm not like most guys.” He winked.

I shook my head at him, “How unique of you.”

Sam stared at me, his gaze a mix of annoyance and... something else I couldn't place. His voice came out low, almost husky. "Are you horny now?"

Butterflies erupted in my stomach, and I did my best to play them off. "Maybe a little. What about you?"

He raised his eyebrows, noting my statement, "Maybe just a little."

I nodded softly, my eyes taking in his face. He was really handsome. He always was, even if most of my feelings were for Colby. His eyes were blue, but very different compared to Colby's. Icy and intense in nature. They stared into mine, his eyes flickering down my face to my lips. I mirrored him, looking at his.

They looked awfully nice....

I don't know how, but we must have gotten closer and closer to one another. And suddenly, his lips were on mine. His arm wrapped around my lower back, pulling me towards him. My hands rested on his shoulders, catching my balance. His kiss was soft, but fierce. Our tongues met in a matter of seconds, a gasp falling from my lips when his entered my mouth. He pressed his body into mine, our hips meeting and grazing each other sexually.

Holy shit, I was kissing Sam. And not only that, I was liking it.

Sam must have also came to this realization, that he too was kissing me, because he pulled back abruptly. Shock was written all over his face. “Woah…”

I breathed, leaning back against the island. “W-What was that?”

“I don't know. Wow, um…” He sputtered, taking a step back.

I cleared my throat, “Yeah that was... surprising.”

“You can say that.” Sam rubbed the back of his neck.

I exhaled, looking at him. "Guess we are really horny."

He agreed, letting out a light laugh.

We stood there in awkward silence, trying to get our bearings. My heart fluttered in my chest as I realized how turned on I had become just making out with him.

I really was in dire need to be fucked. And Sam... seemed willing enough. At least, for a moment there.

Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the loneliness. But something came over the both of us in that moment. We locked eyes, and it became apparent that things were changing. The awkward silence turned erotic, like one of us was waiting to make the next move. I wanted to, but what if I was wrong?

Fuck, I just... needed him.

Sam bit his lip, his eyes tracing my form. Once they landed back on my face, a look came over him. It was intense, his pupils blown wide. He looked eager, determined... hungry.

“Come here.” He mumbled lowly.

That's all I needed to hear.

I rushed up to him, our bodies slamming into one another. Our mouths met hastily, jumping right back into what we had been doing just minutes before. He wrapped his arms around me, his hands resting low on my hips. He spun us until my back hit the counter in the far corner of the kitchen. His hand slid down to my knee, raising it up so it rested around his hip.

He pulled away quickly, putting some space between us. Are you okay with this?”

I tried catching my breath, “W-wha?”

“Are you okay with this? Do you really want this?” Sam questioned, repeating himself.

“Yeah I do. Why would you ask?” I furrowed my brow.

He scoffed, “Come on, Y/N. We just spent ten minutes talking about how you wanted Colby.”

“Yeah, and you spent the better half of that talking about how you miss your ex.” I retorted. “Obviously, we aren't each other’s.... first choices. But that doesn't mean we can't have fun. Let's just enjoy this, and not make this a big deal.” I snaked my arms around him, pulling him back into me.

“Fine with me.”

He lowered his face to my neck, sucking and nibbling on the sensitive skin. I lulled my head back, allowing him as much access as he wanted. He pressed his hips into mine, sparks shooting up through my core into my entire body. I whimpered unexpectedly, Sam smiling into my neck at the sound.

I tugged lightly on his hair, pulling his head back. Our lips met again, my hand roaming his chest. I found the first button of his shirt, undoing it. I slowly followed suit with the others, my fingers tracing down his torso as I did.

He grabbed my wrists, stopping my motions. “Shouldn't we go back to my room and do this? Do you wanna get caught by Colby?”

“How about we stop bringing him up? I don't want to be thinking about him right now,” I smiled bitterly. “And anyway, you know as well as I do that man is probably knocked out asleep on his bed. So we'll be good til morning.”

“I don’t think I'm gonna make it that long. Maybe three rounds max.” He joked.

“Oh wow, three rounds?” I gazed up and down at his body, “I'll settle for one right now.”

“Same here.” He kissed me quickly, pulling back for a moment, "but just in case he's not totally asleep, let's not get fully naked."

“Lame. But fine, I guess.” I huffed.

“Trust me, I would love to see all of you, but not now. Not here.” He whispered sweetly.

I giggled, his face and lips pressing into my chest as he lowered my top more. His tongue dragged across my skin, and I felt like I was on fire.

Maybe all of that tequila was a good call, after all. Because God... the feeling between my legs was just growing hotter and wetter by the second. All I wanted was Sam.

Was there a part of me that also wanted Colby? Yes. But that part would have to shut it for now. Because he wasn't here. He didn't choose me. Sam did. And I was going to enjoy every second of it.

Our kisses became harsher, more passionate, as our hips grinded together harder. I could feel him against me, his bulge pressing right against my core. I grazed my hand down his torso, finally resting it on his belt. I undid with my one hand, trying my best.

He laughed, pulling back from me. “I'll get it.”

“Do you have a condom?” I breathed.

“Yeah, in my wallet.” He grabbed it out of his pocket, placing it on the counter.

As he undid his belt, I took the condom out, ripping the package with my teeth. I gazed down at his dick; it strained against his underwear, begging to be touched. I reached out, cupping him softly.

“O-oh, fuck, Y/N.” He choked out a moan, his eyes closing at the feeling.

“Does that feel good, Sammy?” I whispered, biting my lip.

He glared, a smirk on his lips, "You know I hate when you call me that."

I bit back a smile, “But I enjoy it so much.”

He hummed, “And I guess I'll enjoy this.”

Sam closed the space between us, his eyes never leaving mine. His hand slid underneath my skirt, palming my sex instantly. I gasped as my wet panties pressed into my aching clit. I shuddered against him, a dark chuckle leaving his lips.

“That's it, babygirl. You're so wet for me, aren't you?” His voice was raspy as he spoke.

“I told you I was horny.” I rubbed my palm harder into his cock as he did the same to my clit.

“Yeah, but only a little bit. If this is only you a little horny, I can't imagine what you're like completely turned on.” He pressed into me more, kissing up my neck.

My breath hitched, “Get inside me and you'll find out.”

“Ain't gotta tell me twice.” Sam lowered his pants and underwear down enough for his cock to spring free. He took the condom from my hand, rolling it down his shaft. I watched in anticipation, direly needing him inside of me.

I yanked my panties down, kicking them off my heels. Sam lined up with my entrance, our eyes meeting again.

His tip teased me, “You ready?”

I nodded, “Please Sam, just-”

He inched his way in, filling me slowly. We both moaned in unison, the sensation hitting us hard. I was so wet and slick, he was able to push all the way in easily. Once our hips met, his hand cupped my face.

I opened my eyes, and his searched mine. I should have felt weird in this moment. Here I was, in my employers' and best friends' kitchen being fucked by one of them while the other was just a room or two away. We could get caught, we could be seen or heard at any moment. I shouldn't have wanted this. Sam was my friend, and not the one I really wanted in my heart.

But my feelings be damned if I wasn't gonna enjoy every second of this. Plus, it's not like I was the only one getting something out of this. I was his second choice, and he was mine.

Sam started bucking his hips, building up to a good rhythm. My hands slid up his back, resting on his shoulder blades. He leaned his forehead against mine, his eyes closed. He was concentrating on his movements, of going deeper into me. His one hand rested on my ass, cupping and gripping it as he thrusted. The other was in my hair, burying deeper into my locks.

“You feel so good, Y/N. So fucking wet.” He uttered, his voice shaking.

“I need more, Sam. Pleaseeee.” I whined.

“I gotchu, babygirl.” He lowered his hips, hitting my sex deeper, “Just like this?”

“Oh my- Fuck! Yes, just like that!” I cursed loudly.

He hushed me, snickering, “Shh, you can't be too loud. You might wake him. Unless that's what you want…”

“What?” I raised an eyebrow, pulling back slightly.

He slowed his movements down, tracing my jaw with his thumb.“You wanna get caught, don't you?”

I hated that the idea did excite me. The thoughts swirled in my head; would Colby be upset? Would Sam? The what ifs made my mind wonder.

Sam grabbed my face suddenly, a little rougher than I expected him to be. “Look at me.”

I blinked, staring into his eyes.

“Don't look away from me, okay? I want all of your attention on me and what I'm doing to you. Got it?” He commanded.

His tone was sexy, my body jolting from the sound. “Okay.”

He pecked my lips, “Good girl.”

I gasped as his hand slid down to my clit, rubbing it in time with his thrusts. My body clenched at the sensation, my hips speeding up.

“You need more?” Sam growled.

I hummed, only able to nod. My nails dug into his back as he sped up his movements. He began fucking me harder against the counter. He held me steady, going deeper as he did.

I shuttered, “Fuuuck Sam. You make me feel so full.”

“Yeah? Feel fucking amazing, Y/N.” Sam grunted, “God, if you squeeze around me one more time, I'm gonna-

I smirked against his neck, squeezing his cock inside of me. He halted his hips, raising his head to look at me.

He pushed his dick all the way in, filling me completely. His fingers started rubbing my clit faster and faster. My mouth fell open, my body shaking with pleasure..

Sam glared into my eyes, watching me as I almost came undone. I gripped him hard, panting. I could feel myself getting closer and closer to the edge, and all he was doing was using his fingers.

“You right there for me?” He hissed.

I whimpered, pleading, “Please let me come.”

“Stay right there for me. Don't come yet.” He demanded.

He picked up his speed again, fucking me faster than he had before. His cock pounded into me repeatedly, adding more to the pleasure of his fingers on my clit. I could feel my wetness leak down my thighs. I was so close, unable to hold on for much longer.

“Sam, pleaseeee..... I'm so fucking close.” I mewled.

He groaned, closing his eyes tightly. “I'm right there, babygirl. You gonna come for me?”

“Fuck, yes, yes! Please Sam!” I cried, begging.

He slammed his hand down on my mouth, letting out a small laugh. “Don't fucking scream.”

My response was muffled, but he could tell what I said.

He lowered his mouth to my ear, whispering aggressively, “Squeeze around me. Do it, Y/N. Come for me.”

I bucked my hips with abandonment, my head falling back as my cries were silenced by his hand. Sam grunted lowly as he came, his fingers pressing into my clit while he was deep inside of me. My body spasmed, my orgasm hitting me in waves.

Sam fell against me, his hands sliding and wrapping around me in a soft embrace. We stood there for a moment, catching our breaths.

The silence was cut suddenly.... by the sound of Colby's door shutting.

We pulled away from one another, glancing at each other with wide eyes. We hastily pulled our clothes back on, fixing ourselves as best we could before Colby appeared.

I turned my back towards the boys, a noticeable blush on my face. I ran my fingers through my hair, adjusting it the best I could.

“Hey did you guys order Taco Bell yet?” Colby called, his voice coming from the other side of the kitchen island.

“Um, uh. N-no. Not yet.” Sam stammered out, clearing his throat.

Colby sighed dramatically. “Can you hurry up and do it? I'm fucking starving.”

I turned around, finally feeling relaxed enough to join in. “Yeah Sam, hurry up. I'm hungry.”

“I thought you said you were full.” He stared at me with a playful glint in his eye.

“Well,” I jested, cursing him out in my head, “I guess I have a bigger appetite than I thought.”

I gave Colby a quick once over, realizing he was shirtless and in sweatpants, like usual.

Definitely a bigger appetite…

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