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mariaiscrafting · 3 years

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ahhhh ty ty ty <3

ok, so I think that what makes Dream act this way (iykyk) is how dreamwastaken became so big so quickly. and by quick I mean fucking lightning speed.

he didn't have enough time to learn enough about cc etiquette, especially in these three aspects: influence, boundaries and fanbase/stans/whatever you call it. I'll try to explain it:

• Influence: Does he know the influence he has? Like, when he hears that he is the myct with the largest fanbase, does he really process that? I remember he talked about not being able to control all of his fanbase and there's bad apples everywhere -- which is true, and that only like 1% of his fanbase breaks his boundaries (that include sending hate for him, harassing, doxing, etc. yk, basic twitter culture lol) but, honey, with your big ass fanbase, 1% is still a lot of people. As a content creator you *have* to be aware of that.

let's take the hbomb situation. First off, as a streamer, it's you that set the mood of the stream. Even if he was only messing around with his pals, even if they did say to do not send hate to hbomb, dt dunking on him created a toxic environment, which caused his fans being toxic towards hbomb and you know what happens next. Hell, when this happened, I was watching Tapl and he was watching them and he was crying laughing over them screaming bc they were just. so loud and so aggressive that it was kinda ??? Sirs, this is literally a Minecraft Stream lmaooo

my point is, that was not the road that dreamwastaken, 21M fans, should've taken. he don't condone his fans actions but he knows his fans are diehard and will always be on his side, he should be more careful before stating negative opinions, especially if its towards another person.

• Boundaries and Fanbase: He posted a list of his boundaries a while ago, idk if you know or seen it (btw please george copy your bestie for the love of god <3) but I'm not talking about those boundaries, I'm talking about the basic boundaries between cc and viewer. boundaries that, in my opinion, should exist between cc and viewer. I get that Dream is an open person, an oversharing type of open person if I may add, but I think he should take a step back regardless. When I heard that he was taking a time from twitter, I genuinely got so glad, not because he couldn't start any drama then, but because it would do so so good for his mental health. I'm not even that fond of him, it's just that for me, any cc taking a break or outright leaving twitter is a win for me. I know how RSD is hard to deal and honestly letting shit out it's better but dream you have dt you have bbh so please don't make things worse online 😭 I know how good can be to feel validation from millions of people but. it's not a good idea, especially in the state that his fanbase is on rn (this topic is kinda sensitive to talk abt for me bc people be outright ableist and hide it as criticism like. say that shit's not helping his reputation and whatever without acting like he's fucking. manipulating his fanbase for being affected by his rsd💀 or, on the other hand, don't say that hes just being adhd🤪 when he's just being an asshole like damn that's a Him thing bro lol)

(omg it's so big I'm so sorry and theres a part two I'm so sorry tumblr user messed-up-gal ToT) - morango 1/2

pt. 2:

Dream is the proof that the people who loves you can be your downfall. istg. Have you noticed that every drama that Dream enters, people usually get more mad abt how his fanbase reacts (85% they'll react in a bad way) than Dream himself? it's not always, but its definitely more likely. I'm not saying Dream is saint, he Is petty and his ego does him dirty and made him choke multiple times before,, But! i dont think hes a bad guy. he's literally just a dude. ok, he's a 21yr old white gamer man that has a trumpie past (maybe?? idk. I think hes cured now ig lol) so he's bound to do some shitty things but he still tries to get better and hopefully he'll mature. 21 is old enough but it's still so young, yk? I kind of lost my mind during the end and my eyes are literally begging to be closed so tl;dr: Its gonna be hard for him to become a better cc bc his fans don't let him be criticized (by infantilizing his adhd symptoms or the mob mentality as soon as someone says anything abt him), the honest criticism get lost between lies from antis that don't know shit, he still has a lot of growing up to do and overall he became famous too fast and he needs to learn things even faster bc as soon as there's not a single one dream hater on sight they'll turn their back and attack him instead lmao I hate twitter i definitely have more to say but I'm tired and my memory is shit. just-- hate dream if you want, love dream if you want, nobody is obligated to have an opinion but I wanted to express mine. have a lovely day! -morango 2/2

Aight, there's a lot to unpack here, so Imma try to only go into the points I have something to add to (here's what I talk about in each paragraph, if you want to jump to a specific point):

Speed of Dream's rise to fame

The "bad apples" in the Dream fanbase

Post-MCC HBomb stream

Not condoning versus actually condemning his fans

Manipulation & RSD

Criticism of Dream, his fanbase, and his brand

The ��just a dude” argument, flipped

First, I agree that one of the many factors that has resulted in the current image Dream has set up for himself, the way his fanbase functions, the ways people hate on him, and the way the Dream brand functions, is the speed of his rise to fame. It's unique, and there are probably a hundred social/psychological angles that could be used to examine the exact effects of that speed upon all of these facets of the Dream Name; did rapid fame beget the rapid rise of unrighteous hatred, did those waves of hatred then instigate the rise of a surprisingly overdefensive fanbase, did that rapid fame get to his head and/or result in an inability to appropriately handle all the after-effects of rapid fame, etc.? That point you bring up, about how the speed of his rise to fame requires him to learn even more quickly, is so interesting to me. I think that maybe Dream expected to get pretty famous pretty quickly, hence the preparedness in regards to some mechanics of influencer fame- merchandise, business-building, networking, knowing how to manage his fanbase to best benefit him. But I don't think he expected to get this famous this quickly. This is all speculation of course, as are this entire post and your ask, but I think that he just couldn't anticipate having to learn how to handle enmasse controversy, waves of antis, or every Youtuber speculating/knowing about him; and yeah, that results in him having to learn all of these things very quickly, lest he allow his whole brand and fandom to fall apart.

Second, I disagree with the frequent argument that Dream's fanbase is only marginally toxic. Personally, I think that the circumstances of Dream's fame, his personality and management of his fanbase, and his brand of content have resulted in the very specific kind of stan that Dream stans are. I don't think this is simply a case of "all fandoms have a small percentage of assholes who take it too far;" rather, the nature of the community itself breeds the kind of mentality of "an asshole who takes it too far." I only even know this because I was a Dream fan (kinda a stan, I'm ngl). At one time, I watched every single Dreamwastaken & Dream Team video multiple times; I listened to the Manhunts on repeat, as though they were podcasts; I followed mostly smiletwt and dttwt accounts on mcyttwt; I had upwards of 10 tabs for AO3 DNF fics open on my phone at a time; I watched DNF and Dream Team Being A Family-esque compilations on repeat; I watched every George and Sapnap alt stream I possibly could; I went out of my way to defend Dream against Redditors and Twitter antis regarding the cheating scandal. For the latter half of 2020, and a couple months of 2021, I lived and breathed this part of the fandom; so when I say that Dream stans are a whole other breed than any other kind of mcyttwt stan, I say that because I used to be like that, too. I usually use parasocial very loosely or ironically, but Dream stans are genuinely one of the most parasocial fanbases I have ever seen or been a part of. The level of investment Dream stans have in this man's life, the lengths they will go to to defend him, the amount of psychonalysis and digging they do on his life and character, the amount of emotion he can evoke in them- it's taken to another level, man. This isn't just characteristic of a fraction of his fanbase; this is what the fanbase is like as a whole.

Third, I partially disagree with your take on the HBomb thing, but not in the way one might think? I actually empathize with the way they reacted much more than I thought I would, simply because I suspect I have RSD (also suspect I have ADHD, have for several months now) and I can see myself getting insanely frustrated because of something like that. Like yeah, it was "just a MC stream" or "just an MC game," but that's kinda disregarding the fact that something that might seem like "just a [insert inconsequential thing]" to a rational mind might have a major emotional consequence/take a major emotional toll on someone with RSD, or really anyone who gets easily impatient/angry about video games (Sapnap reminds me of many of my friends, in that way). The issues I, personally, had with the way they handled the HBomb situation is that these are simply explanations and reasons for my empathy; they are not excuses. I have no excuse when I get irrationally angry about something inconsequential in my own life, for a couple of reasons. One, because I am an adult and I need to learn how to handle my reactions and manage my own anger. Two, because as someone with many mental problems, it is my responsibility to learn coping mechanisms to ensure my own emotional stability and livelihood; this includes learning whatever I need to handle RSD- whether that be isolating myself from others when I know I will become violently/passionately angry about something, creating and sustaining a support system that can get me through bouts of extreme emotion, finding healthy emotional outlets for my negative emotions that won't harm myself or others, or a combination thereof. I don't think what they said about HBomb post-MCC was an irreversibly horrible thing, or anything. I think there were errors committed by two men who should be fully capable of foreseeing and preventing those errors, but I don't unconditionally hate Dream or Sapnap for the post-MCC stream or comments. I just wish they had made amends quickly, publicly, and sufficiently, because the greatest consequences from the whole thing weren't even from those two criticizing HBomb themselves; they were from the waves of backlash because of their immense influence on the MCYT fandom, which could've been prevented, if they had acted maturedly and responsibly after the stream.

Fourth, you’re right, that he doesn’t seem to condone his fans’ behavior. I detest the frequent anti argument that one of the reasons Dream should be criticized is because he explicitly uses his fanbase to attack others, or something of the sort. Personally, I think he created his fanbase in a very specific way and interacts with them in such a way so as to benefit him as much as possible, yes, but he never actually tells his fanbase to go and yell at or harrass anyone. Still, there is a significant difference between not condoning something and condemning something. It might seem unfair, and it might be annoying of me to say this, but I truly think that someone with this large a fanbase, especially one as overzealous as Dream’s, needs to be condemned every single time it goes on some kind of rampage/harrassment campaign. Either that, or Dream needs to make a definitive, permanent statement against any kind of harrassment of others on his behalf. I know he’ll occassionally make the odd tweet or serious stream addressing something his fanbase did, but one of the many reasons his fanbase keeps doing the same damn thing is because he’s so lukewarm and spotty about this condemnation. A fanbase like his needs to be given explicit guidance and boundaries for the numerous things they do in his defense- harrassing/doxing antis, harrassing people who criticize him who aren’t antis (respectful criticism, other CCs, other MCYT stans, etc.), harrassing the people he critcizes (i.e., HBomb), speculating about his personal life (his relationship with his gf, his mental health/ADHD, his romantic life, his childhood, etc.), and speculating about his relationships with his friends and colleagues. My personal ideology is that, if you have significant influence over someone or a group of people, you are at least somewhat responsible for the things those people do or don’t do, if it at all relates back to you. I’m so fucking tired of the argument that CCs aren’t responsible for what their fans do. Obviously they aren’t responsible for every single one of their fans, and obviously they can’t fully control their fans at the end of the day. But I think there are certain things that reach such a level of extremity that does make those CCs responsible. This can be measured by either scale or intensity; that is to say, if a CC’s fanbase does things on an extremely large scale, or one person from/a fraction of the fanbase does something really extreme, then the CC is made all the more responsible. Another CC I’ve always had trouble discussing with other people on this subject is Pewdiepie, in particular, about the extremists in his fanbase. Because the things a small handful of his fans have done in reference to him and/or in his name were so fucking extreme, I thought Pewdiepie had to take at least some responsibilty. Along a similar vein, because the things Dream’s general fanbase does are so widespread and on such a massive scale, Dream has to take at least some responsibility.

Fifth, okay. Hmmm. I want to tackle this point you made about the ableism he faces in some criticism of him carefully and with empathy, but not coddling. One, I do think a lot of the criticism he receives for the ways he handles criticism (post-cheating Tweets, reactions to John Swan, post-MCC HBomb stream, etc.), disregard his RSD and can be oftentimes ableist. I’ve actually encountered people irl who criticize this aspect of Dream’s character, and have had to explain to them their disregard for how ADHD/RSD affect neurodivergent people’s reactions to criticism. But - and this is a big, and very controversial but - I think mentally ill/disordered people can 100% leverage their mental illness/disorders for the sake of manipulation. This is actually something I’ve learned from a psychiatrist, regarding the ways people I know and I handle our anxiety and depression. This manipulation can be unwitting or intentional, but it is entirely possible, and the possibility shouldn’t be entirely dismissed as ableist. Living with a mental illness or disorder that others know about/that you are very public about puts you in an interesting position to receive frequent sympathy, empathy, and/or pity. I’m not saying that empathy for Dream having ADHD/RSD is entirely unjustified; on the contrary, I have frequently expressed how I can relate to his ADHD symptoms and have defended him for expressing those symptoms, both on mcytblr and in real life. I am saying that Dream fans tend to use his ADHD as a kind of shield for a lot of criticism levied against him, including the supposition that he could be manipulating his fanbase to defend him because of his public expressions of RSD. So yes, my theory is that Dream knows how to levy every aspect of his life for his personal gain and for the growth of his brand, and that includes his ADHD. I think he has courage for his openess about his ADHD, I think his openness has contributed to the rise in awareness of mental health and empathy for neurodivergent people within Gen Z, and I think at least some of his expressions of RSD publicly/online weren’t intentionally made public. All that being said, I also think he has to know just how much his fanbase cares about defending him for his ADHD, and I think he has to know that some of the things he does related to his neurodivergence endear him to his audience, in a coddling, baby-ing, mildly ableist sorta way. Maybe this is all incredibly presumptuous of me. Of course, I can never know the real intentions behind any Dream video, Tweet, or stream. Maybe I’m just projecting, because I can see myself doing just this, if I had the maturity I had circa 2018-2019. Idfk know, man.

Sixth, I actually agree with you here, people probably do get more mad at his fanbase than him. Dream puts out content pretty seldomly, considering the frequency of content output for other Youtubers/streamers in his field/at his brand size. And yet, he has received masses of criticism. Considering that the things Dream himself does/says do not entirely correlate with the amount of criticism he receives, I think it’s a logical assumption that a lot of that criticism actually goes back to the size of his presence online, rather than the man himself. That is to say, because of the massive community he’s amassed, the exponential growth of his fanbase, their presence on every single social media site and in virtually every single Internet space/fandom, and the size of his metaphysical presence in his fields, Dream is much bigger than the man himself, so the criticism he receives will, at least in part, be a direct or indirect result of all these other aspects of the Dream brand. Something I don’t think many Dream fans/stans, or even most MCYT fans in general, understand, is that Dream isn’t just “one guy” in the eyes of the Internet- at least, not anymore. He hasn’t been for nearly a year. Like Pewdiepie, Mr. Beast, and other CCs who have amassed similar levels of fame and wealth via Internet content creation, Dream is a brand now, and most people will treat him as such. He isn’t just some uwu soft boy playing Minecraft anymore. He is on a whole other level from any other MCYT in his friend circle or colleague interaction bubble. His words will never again live in a vaccum or private bubble, his friend circle will never again be under anything less than intense scrutiny, his past actions will never again be simple mistakes or silly errors, his words will never again be casual tweets or streams for laughs among a couple thousand followers. Dream’s name represents something much bigger than just the one man. As such, all aspects of his brand, including his fanbase, will tie back to him and, ultimately, to any general criticism of him.

I’m not saying I like any of this, and I actually think the evolution of influencers from people to a marketable brand with similar mechanisms, responsibilities, and liabilities as a corporation is some kind of late capitalism nightmare fuel; I’m just stating my own observations and theories as to why so much anti-Dream criticism seems to be directed at his fanbase, rather than him.

Seventh, he’s just a guy, you’re right, but I think a lot of the antis on Tumblr understand this more than you know. As I’ve seen it, the sentiment among much of the “DSMP stans DNI” crowd seems to be that of “Dream/other MCYTs are such ‘bad’ people, so why do their fans stick to these mediocre, racist men, when there are so many better people to watch/better content to consume?” We know this argument is flawed for many of the obvious reasons - the conflation of all MCYTs’ actions regardless of individual identity, the equating of a CC’s fanbase’s morality to that of the CC they enjoy watching, the exxageration of any error MCYT CCs have committed as bigotry/racism, the fundamental misunderstanding and misinformation that led antis to believe this exxageration of the facts, etc. But I want to focus on the general, underlying sentiment of, “why not watch someone better, when your creator is problematic?” Sometimes, I ask this of Dream stans. Yes, being mildly ignorant, getting involved in the scandals Dream has, and being a right-leaning/libertarian centrist in the recent past all seem like harmless things, all things considered. One could say Dream isn’t nearly as bad as many antis who are misinformed seem to believe, and that there are much worse CCs Dream stans could be watching and creating fan content for. But I think what Tumblr antis wonder is, aren’t there also much better MCYTs/CCs people could be watching and stanning? Because he’s just some guy, right? Is his content truly so exceptional or is he really so exceptional a person, that people have to stick by him, despite the things that spike up regarding his current or past actions? I think that’s what made me finally decide to stop watching Dream. I realized he was just Some Guy. The Dream Team was a comforting dynamic to indulge in, DNF was a cute ship to read and speculate about, and Manhunts were fun videos to watch; however, once the Reddit posts came out and I read them in-depth, the cost-benefit analysis tipped over to the “not worth it” side for me. I realized Dream’s content, while fun and comforting, was not entirely unique, and wasn’t worth sticking around for, given what I then knew about his past political leanings. If he is just Some Guy, then there are a hundred more like him out there. There a hundred more ships, a hundred more found family dynamics, a hundred more entertaining and skilled Minecraft players. So while I agree with you on the point of people being allowed to love him regardless because he is just a guy, at the end of the day, I think that, if we are to believe that sentiment or use that argument in such a manner, we should also understand the flip side- that, if he is just some guy, why is it worth sticking around? To that I say, maybe because people just enjoy the simple things they enjoy.

Anyways, I wholly agree with your tl;dr. Thanks for that insanely long ask, this was a fun thing to keep me occupied while I’ve been at work, facilitating Zoom sessions this whole morning.

#ive been writing this on and off since 830 am est SHEESH #dreamwastaken #dream critical #eh i think im relatively lenient of him here given my past posts ab him #but still just in case the blacklist tags for yalls convenience:#discourse #/neg #asks #long post #long posts #this a LONG one bois #morango

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niko-jpeg · 2 years

Text

I posted 5,767 times in 2021

344 posts created (6%)

5423 posts reblogged (94%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 15.8 posts.

I added 416 tags in 2021

#undertale - 86 posts

#niko.jpeg - 80 posts

#undertale multiverse - 59 posts

#utmv - 51 posts

#undertale au - 51 posts

#underverse - 37 posts

#ink sans - 14 posts

#shitpost - 14 posts

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Longest Tag: 139 characters

#trans cross trans cross trans cross trans cross trans cross trans cross trans cross trans cross trans cross trans cross trans cross trans c

My Top Posts in 2021

Booobs on dream lol

Boobs on Dream. It's just a fact everyone is going to have to learn to deal with lmao

67 notes • Posted 2021-11-14 14:39:13 GMT

F L O W

71 notes • Posted 2021-09-17 00:28:19 GMT

Did I just come up but the world's worst name for ErrInk kids? Yes I did.

Did I have to draw this on paper because of an unannounced family trip? Yes I did.

So now, behold...

The world's worst picture of the world's worst Inking job of the world's favorite children. I did all of this in the car btw. I simplified their designs just a little to make them easier to draw while in the car.

(Credits:

PJ: @7goodangel

Gradient: @askcomboclub ?

Reimancy: @llwandehll

Speckle: @glitchysquidd

Airbrush: @adorablemew )

86 notes • Posted 2021-11-20 20:24:41 GMT

Where was Ink during 0.6

Wrong answers only

108 notes • Posted 2021-11-12 00:41:10 GMT

Multiverse HC Chain.

-Geno would fist fight the sun if he got drunk enough.

-Dream is genderfluid and wears skirts unironically sometimes

-Ink climbs trees sometimes, but gets stuck because he doesn't want to jump down.

-Dust does competitive table flipping with the rest of Nightmares crew.

-Blue sprays Ink with water if he draws "questionable" art and tries to show people. Or does anything stupid and reckless at all outside of battle.

-Dream is clingy.

-Error is a kleptomaniac.

-Ink is secretly obsessed with liminal spaces.

-Cross nicknamed Epic "the Walking Grape".

-Epic nicknamed Cross "the Living Embodiment of Angst".

-Error refers to Fresh, Epic, and Cross and Tweedle dumb, Tweedle Dumber, and Tweedle Dumbest.

-So does the rest of the multiverse actually.

-Nightmare curls up in a ball and sleeps in weird places like a cat.

-You can bribe reaper not to take your soul with enough coffee. Don't quite know how you're gonna get that much but if you do more power to ya.

-Nightmare can swap between passive and not, but still be goopy af.

-Killer will chase a laser pointer.

-Dream likes singing, but is too shy to do it in front of anyone.

-Dream and Nightmare used to playfight like what cats do before the apple incident.

-Paperjam and Gradient got lost in an Ikea once when they were little.

-Dadmare

-Paperjam is older than Gradient by two and a half years.

-Epic and Cross once defenestrated someone.

-Cross doesn't like Fresh very much.

-Dream secretly writes fanfiction.

-When Ink found the folder full of fanfiction that Dream has saved on his computer, he pulled three all nighters to read it all in secret.

-Occasionally, Epic, Dream, and Cross cuddle. Just because.

-Horror likes sunsets.

-Killer is really just a four year old with knives and swear words.

-Killer is also a Persona fan.

-Classic Gaster was a great boss. Relatively chill, supportive, and one time threw a bag of Popato Chisps at the King because all is fair in war and truth or dare.

-Error has so much blackmail on the entire Multiverse its almost creepy.

-Ink has ADHD

-Blue is unnaturally strong and once nearly broke Inks arm

-There are a lot more outcodes than the ones that are most commonly known. A lot of them stick to their own stuff and keep to themselves.

That's all for now. I'll add more soon! I have a lot of fun with writing HCs that contribute literally nothing to any plotline but are just funny side notes. If you want to continue this with your own headcannons, feel free! I'd love to hear what everyone else's takes on the characters around the multiverse are!

397 notes • Posted 2021-07-19 19:20:32 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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phoneybeatlemania · 2 years

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Hi, I'm the anon who asked about Paul and ADHD. I know I've seen some asks on Tumblr about it, but of course I can't find them now. I'll keep looking. However, I've found a libreddit page (don't know what that is) where people speculate he might be on the spectrum (can't link it here), and also on the blog Hey Dullblog, under the "Get Back Halftime Report" comments, if you search ADHD there are several people who speculate he might have it.

I couldn't find the libreddit page, but I found the comments on Hey Dullblog (x) - here are some of them:

[Paul] obviously has ADHD or something like that because he can’t stop fidgeting for a minute, and you can tell by the way he speaks that his thoughts are jumping all over the place as well. Again, he’s like that in interviews and it does make him difficult to watch. I have no doubt that he’s difficult to be around, and I’m not at all surprised that he got on everyone’s nerves – people like that always do, and through no fault of their own. I can well imagine the stuff that was edited out of HDYS. (Elizabeth, November 29, 2021 at 9:19 am)

My spouse thought his behavior seemed stimulant fueled, namely cocaine. I always thought this was his heavy alcohol/pot period and some of his circular reasoning and refusal to drop various subjects do say to me that something more was going on, either substance use or mental health issues/neurodivergence (could be a lot of things from OCD to ADHd to anxiety) But I was surprised by how restless and kinetic he is. As someone with ADHD, I see some of that in both Paul and John, whereas George and Ringo seem neurotypical. I think it’s significant that their early period was stimulant heavy, too. (Fox, November 29, 2021 at 9:53 am)

...stimulants could’ve calmed Paul’s ADHD — I have a friend who has it, and she says, “How can you tell if someone has ADHD? When they ask, ‘What’s the big deal about cocaine?'” (Because stimulants, like Ritalin for example, actually help ADHD’ers focus and get calm.) (Michael Gerber, November 29, 2021 at 9:57 pm)

To be honest, Pauls behaviour overall doesn't jump out as being symptomatic of ADHD to me - I feel like it could be better explained by other diagnosis’s or sources, such as anxiety, drug usage, autism, and even just the general characteristics of his personality.

Like, “Elizabeth” points out that in interviews his speech and behaviour will seem “fidgety”* and “all over the place” - and potentially, yes, ADHD is an explanation for this, im not dismissing it entirely. But also, to me it feels as though it has more to do with Pauls somewhat “performative” personality, if that makes sense? Or its a nervous/awkward thing; or a difficulty in being emotively articulate; or the influence of drugs and alcohol. Point is, I think that there are other potential explanations to consider there.

(*I picked up on Paul having shaky-leg-syndrome in Get Back btw, and like solidarity sister lol - but just throwing it out there because it often is related to anxiety).

Again though, im just pretty indifferent to most of this debate because I know im out of my depth here in discussing things like autism or ADHD. To me, he didn't seem that symptomatic of ADD/ADHD, because I dont recall him doing things like interrupting people, having a lot of difficulty concentrating, being disorganised etc. (okay ill admit I still haven't watched GB sober so I dont remember it that well - but I vaguely remember it) - and I understand that ADD/ADHD will present itself differently in each individual, but im just saying, its not the impression I got from him. But as always, if you think theres a strong case for a diagnosis there, then im sending you my girl power, and go for it. :)

#Elizabeth seems like an asshole tho #im just saying #pauls psyche #asks #anon #adhd #neurodivergency

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selfcareparker · 3 years

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(lovely anon) i'm so happy to finally be answering this oh my goodness hi gorgeous human being i feel that it has been too long 🥲 SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE WRITTEN ONE OF THESE HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

to answer the things you have said most recently- i'm so mad that spring break is over bc now i have to go back to life??? like dancing and school and shit that feels so unnessacry 😭 and like i can't just do nothing anymore? i was so used to it and now...... ugh. i STILL haven't played sims (i think it's because ✨depression✨ be hitting sometimes) lol but MWAHAH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR NEIGHBOR!AU AND THAT THEY HAD LITTLE BABY LEO!! i feel the name thing.. i just come up with something that sounds nice? i think leo is a nice name, it makes me think about lea michele and the fact that her son's name is Ever Leo but anyway. i don't name my sims after what i want to name my children irl either... idk why though. (i don't know why i'm telling you this but for boy names i love Liam🥰 and if i had twin boys i think i would do Liam and Peter though i am not married to the name Peter.... anywho)

LMAOOO the therpaist coming made me laugh thank you :)) i hope it's helpful? this may be tmi but i've only really had negative thoughts recently and not many healthy outlets so i'm hoping crossing one thing off this sad list will make me feel better :') i think during spring break my anxiety and my depression really spiked? idk, it comes in episodes but yeah THIS GOT REALLY SAD

i think a lot of things when i read your posts but i never say them hahaha so imma say it now: i googled what bon appetit meant ( i also just had to google how to spell it ) but ur right, i feel like bone apple tea makes more sense than bone apple teeth.. the "th" is throwing me off bc how i say it bone appa (like app-a) teet (like you're saying tit but teet lol) so bone apple tea makes more sense to me lol

i never know really know the time difference for anything lmao but est to germany (that's not gmt is it?) is like 6 hours wOAH so it's like 9pm while it’s 3pm here? wowee

i feel mega weird after watching this show called hollywood (darren criss is in it, so is laura harrier and a bunch of other people) but i don't like it💀 i feel really icky rn and idk why but reading your last response to my ask (?) always makes me feel better :')

i am doing what you said btw, i'm typing this on my computer first then gonna transfer it to my phone's tumblr lol but when you said a digital detox, it's interesting cuz i feel like i've been having one since tom's new project was announced? gOD i don't wanna get into it bc i get so triggered but i've been off of instagram since then bc instagram stans literally stand by tom through whatever even when something ain't right- i’m just gonna leave it there bc i’ll continue the rant, but yeah so i took a break lol

also heard abt your driving lesson thing (?) was it that bad? i can't find the old post but someone asked if you hooked up with your lesson person and i was sOOO CONFUSED LMAOO LIKE OK ARIA GET SOME BUT UHH HUH?

now to address the actual response HAHA the way you touch my heart :') by :') bringing :') up :') halle :') being ariel :') (i honest to God don't remember if i brought this up first, forgive me if i did, it's been a minute lmao) i'm always talking about it and i'm pretty sure my family is so tired of me talking about it lmao, but YEAH when i found out they weren't twins i was so surprised but idk why i always thought they were twins? but YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE WITH THE DISNEY TALK- everyone is always like "tiana is my favorite princess" and yea she's strong and stuff but...... she was a frog. for almost the whole time. it's about time we got another one!! i do agree with some people on the fact that disney should just make another black princess but halle is adorable and i was ariel on stage so it's already really special to me :')

yeah lol there are good times with my brothers but they make me mad for a good portion of the time (there's the 12yo vincent and the 7yo daniel but vincent??? psshhh he is a piece of work and i'm not sure how much longer i can put up with him HAJAH AND YES VINCENT IS THE ONE WHO WAS 👁👄👁WHEN I CRIED AND THE ONE WHO DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC- writing this now makes it sound like vincent is awful. which he isn't... we're working on him ig. not to add to the awfulness but no, he listens to obnoxious loud VIDEO GAME MUSIC and won't stop when we ask him to stop... he gets beat up a lot) anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌

yeah let me know if you end up watching it (wandavision)! i think it's great but if you like it lmk!! tfatws is sooo good like PHEW i am honestly loving it. sidenote: j*hn w*lker makes me wanna jump through the screen and choke him to the ground. i was thinking right, and the falcon and the winter soldier (THATS SO MUCH EASIER FAJHKDAH) would techinally be like a 10 hour movie right? because every episode is an hour long and there'll be 10 episodes? like wow. i get what you mean though, abt the racism in the show etc, like looking forward to it but not like..... no i get what you mean i will not try and give another example lol but you make me wanna learn more languages like really badly (bc of what you said about the german to american translation) & if you end up watching hamilton PLEASE LMK ABT THAT TOO HAHAHA i love it so much, same thing with lion king lmaoo

speaking of germany, i was at lunch on saturday with my mom and her friend and we were talking about my schooling and like-- she planted this idea in my head lol like what if i just got my GED and went around the world (to england probably) to get a theatre experience??? and i think it sounds so cool but no where near practical lol, it's just..... the dream haha and i would then try and learn a language 😉

uh yes we absolutely should order basically a resturant meal at a cinema, how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?

also about cherry (which i still haven't watched yet lol) i got the timestamps from tumblr😌 i couldn't find them anywhere else, but i agree, i probably wouldn't even look twice at cherry if tom wasn't in it? like i liked tdatt a lot, but it's not a movie i would be itching to see ya know?

HAHAHAHA THE 24 HOUR NOTIFICATION- i think i have around 1030 hours on sims? but i've had it since 2019 lmao (reading the screenshots, yes u are 100% a genuis, i take screenshots too but on anon you can't upload them so i just read them and retype what i wrote lmao) i think the university experience in the game is fun, but time consuming and it's all work imo. idk why i do it so often tho 😭😭😭

and agreed!! when you're making good money in the game you have to find other ways to make it interesting. my cousins who play it just continously do "motherlode" and i'm like.... then what do you do in your game?? it just sounds boring to me... my current sims household, i had a famous comedian sim, her name was dylan, aND SORRY IM LAUGHING SO HARD WHILE WRITING THIS BC ITS A GREAT EXAMPLE OF THE UNI THING UNLESS IM JUST DUMB, she went to college for communications when i wanted her to be a comedian and when she graduated i realized that degree did nothing for the career 🥲 so yeah, i think i'm just dumb. but she had a kid in college, guy didn't stick around and she was pretty broke HA but then she got married to this (great) guy named steve, made good bank, had 5 more kids (two sets of twins and one more lol) but then she passed. uhm... yeah that's still an open wound . lol i'm kidding, but when you get rich like that, you have to find a way to make the game interesting and i chose a million kids.

(this was one giant paragraph until i broke it up uhh yeah) i seriously don't pay attention to the sims prices and just end up spending way too much money and not being able to finish the rest of the house😭 but then again, i'm so used to having sims live in apartments... if i end up building a house FIRST OF ALL it'll look like what you explained before lmao but i'll tell you if i actually end up building a house HAHA & planning out your sims game is so fun to me lol, did enisa and michael take in his daughter yet? i may be thinking too far ahead lol and i love that they fucked woohooed (i say woo woo lol) in celebration HAHA but when i was playing with this one couple i had them woo woo every night hoping the dude would have horrible pull out game and they would concieve, but one night they were too tired and i was like why? get back in there man. if i was in college and lived with my partner we would be fucking every night homie. be grateful. i have been talking a lot about sims, and like you said: enough 💀 i just love this game a lot 😭😭

SORRY LAST THING i think the sims romantic and sexual stuff is so nice bc its what i want?? LMAO IDK like the whole hot tub thing you're talking about- puh lease ITS JUST NICE TO SEE OKAY

i'm reading the german section over again and i said aloud "my german friend is so cool" lol (i was saying that to my brothers & i know they don't care LMAO) (& i'm glad the uni zoom call went well!!) so on a form, in german, it could possibily say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer because you would be a participant to an introductory event? i swear german sounds so cool 😌 but i love reading your german lessons!! it's really interesting, most of the time my brain can't comprehend it tho?? like that word makes sense to you, but i need a translation. like to be able to look at that and know what it says.... its just appealing and seems so cool lol i kinda wanna write something out in german but i feel that google translate will fail me. während googeln "google übersetzen" mein Computer war so verdammt langsam und es fühlte sich einfach wie etwas Gutes auf Deutsch zu sagen. ich bin nicht sicher, welches Wort ist "fucking", aber ich mag es lmao (did it fail me like i thought it would??)

LMAOOO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING UP JUSTIN BC WHILE AT THE RESTURANT THEY PLAYED A JUSTIN SONG AND I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF YOU AND THIS STORY😭 lol i was thinking it's depending on your age but not even that either... i really don't know.... but tom's fans are hollanders💀 i would consider myself one? he's the only person i'm really into like that (like a lot lol) so idk lmao (directioners 💔💔the pain is real)

LMAOOO (both of these paragraphs started off with “lmaooo” smh) "i like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death" PLEASE, i don't like pete's blonde hair... i just don't. i'm not sure if i wasn't watching the most recent snls but yea. my mom thinks he looks like trash, but i think he's okay? like he said staten island people just look like trash LMAO and I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN KING OF STATEN ISLAND GIRL I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT!! now i'm gonna make plans to watch it lmao, & yes agreed i find pete hot, don't ask why i really couldn't explain it to someone he's just .

my favorite songs from rex are from pony oh my goodness 🥺 anywho i'm gonna go eat cereal (i ended up eating bun and cheese instead) and listen to the Stormzy songs you recommended... aria. aria aria aria. i would like to thank you for introducing me to stormzy i- i don't have any words or any emojis to express HOW GOOD STORMZY IS. i hope he's popular in germany/the uk because i haven't heard of him but GURLLLL

one second - delicious i love it. it's really good. it’s not my favorite from the album, but its great.

superheroes - at first i played the non-explicit one (on accident) and wondered why the words weren't playing but i was reading them in the lyrics??? THIS ONE THOUGH??? IS THE BEST SONG I THINK I'VE EVER HEARD. i am so SO SO into black people empowering songs (like brown skin girl by beyonce) and this song???? PHEW I CRYYYYY ITS SO GOOD.... i was gonna quote some lyrics BUT THERS TOO MANY I LOVE, "i am young, black, beautiful, and brave" "black queen, you're immaculate, it's coming at the world, they ain't ready for your magic yet, and that was never your fault" THAT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT- I ALMOST CRIED THIS SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL (i played it twice lol)

lessons is another beautiful one, like its slow and it feels intimate and nurturing and just OO chefs kiss, beautiful . like you can feel the apology and the regret... it’s so good

own it - OWN IT OWN IT OWN IT IS AMAZING!! swear you would catch me dancing to this song, this song is so fucking good i cannot comprehend like this one might be my favorite for real... "it's the way you wind up your waist, i'm so in awe, you never have to worry abt nothing, you know its yours, you know you own it" 🥲 i played it two or three times honestly

rachael's little brother - YES I DID LISTEN TO IT LMAO AND YES I LIKE IT, its a very complex song and it's very layered in terms of emotions i think and i really like that about it. i probably won't listen to it that often, but its really good. i would recommend this song to my "older brother" bc he would just absolutely love this

shut up - i was taking this song seriously (also very good) until i heard him say shu-T up LMAO, this one is good, i probably wouldn't listen to it 24/7 like rachael's little brother but honestly its still fire

before listening to blinded by your grace and vossi bop, i know you brought up the religion bit, i definitely don't mind that, especially because i'm Christian lol and i actually liked that he brought up God in some of his songs like idk i just like it🥰🥰

(i then went to bed after that lol but first thing in the morning i listened to superheroes and... that song is probably my favorite tbh, i was gonna write MORE quotes that i loved from it but, yeah no there's too many. if you want i'll tell you lmao but this is already so long i would just be quoting the whole friggin song)

VOSSI BOP IS A BOP (lol) I CANT EVEN LIE, i love a song that hypes up a dude's girl so the line- i love that my phone decided to fail to load the lyrics, lemme google it, okay the lyric "looking at my girl like what a goddess" i was like AYEEE its honestly just really good. and no one in america says "sauce" like "i've got the sauce" but now i do (thanks to love island and Nas from last season) and now stormzy so (also im gonna watch the music video for superheroes bc it looks great so 😛)

(because this is already so long i feel like i shouldn't finish the rest but . no i'm gonna do it)

now for blinded by your grace pt2 idk why i’m nervous lmaoo PAUSE I'M NOT EVEN DONE WITH THE SONG GIRL THIS SONG IS *chefs kiss* no words, speechless PHEW y'all gon make me start jumping around. why did i not know about stormzy before, he is amazing i- ok yeah i finished the song, all i have to say is that Stormzy is immaclucate. period. i am literally sending his music to all my friends he is..... amazing

you want my song recommendations 🥺🥺 hmm uh okay lol i listen to a lot of old music, whitney houston, marvin gaye, queen, celine dion, i love "more than words" by extreme uhmm okay, but for actual music i listen to on the daily? (this is a lot of different music like.... they do not go together lmao so be prepared) a song about being sad by rex orange county, betty by taylor swift and lover by taylor swift and... most of that album lol, treasure by bruno mars lmao, OOOO and versace on the floor by bruno as well, lazybaby by dove cameron, creep by tlc has been on repeat lol, deja vu by olivia rodrigo (i saw what you said about drivers license and AGREED LMAO but i like deja vu a lot more haha) and two albums that i listen to in general, rare by selena gomez and ungodly hour by chloe x halle 🥰 you don't have to listen to all of them or any of them lol but that's a sense of what i'm into :) so basically everything haha, i'm into literally every single kind of music really so i wasn't too surprised that i enjoyed stormzy :’)

HAHASBSJHAHA your h20 story cracked me up,, like "wow these actors are so dedicated, learning german just for us" 😭 the beauty of overdubbing

once again, math and maths, in my mind maths makes sense because its mathmatics, but saying maths doesn't feel right to me lol, like if i said maths i feel like everyone would look at me like ??? and yea i was taught it as math so its just more natural for me. but yes math/maths is disgusting, easily one of my least favorite subjects so .

mkay. i- the first time i read this i could not contain my laughter when you said the only pollen you know is sex pollen LMAOKOOSHBABJFAJF STOPPP I'M EVEN LAUGHING WRITING THIS,, anyway. wow! that's interesting, my dad (<<< mostly anything else) gets migraines from the sun and the heat and stuff, yesterday (sunday, i was outside for like hours watching my brothers play football, the american kind lol) i was in the sun for like ever and i got a headache😔

summer clothes🥲 i need to go shopping fr fr. for my birthday my mom and dad got me a giftcard like dedicated to a shopping spree and we've yet to go so..... i should bring it up to my mom lol, but!! i went bra shopping (ended up returning literally all of them cuz they honestly didn't work for day to day work? its a long story) and if i could i would walk around in this new "summer bra" i got, i would. it's so fricking cute and its really light fabric (which isn't perfect for my nipples but still) so i don't get hot in it, but that bra and some shorts would be perfect. its the closest thing to being naked so

IS THE BIRD STILL BOTHERING U ARIA, TELL ME NOW ISTG, i laughed really hard that the bird isn't stupid and is really trying to torture you LMAOO like i was rolling, it wants you to suffer, badly

when you said "mensus" it was still close to mens!!! latin speaking queen 😌😌

okay STORYTIME i was reading back your response and started (fake) crying bc i love you lol and my youngest brother (daniel) gon say "oh man, catherine's crying about something we don't care about, again" I--- i swear when i tell you about them they sound awful, but they aren't that bad, just the stuff i say about them is sounds really mean LMAO

but the thing you said about being kind, same, what i always say is: don't be the person that makes people say "i hate people" ya know? like there's no reason to be a jerk or anything.... but its true 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you are really kind and every time i talk to you i would like to personally fly to germany and give you a hug 💖💕💞💗💓💝💖💘

& i'm gonna show my stretch marks some love bc of you 🥺😭 i really hate how men have basically everyone conditioned that you can't love your own body </3 fuck them, y'all beautiful :')

also thanks for what you said :')) you literally are the kindest, sweetest person i think i've ever spoken to and i love you 🥰🥺🥲💓💗

READING YOUR TAGS HAHAHHAHA the spelling errors makes everything so much funnier. once again, i like your german lessons & yea!! i'm gonna play sims after writing this hahah

#catherine's tags are back #i don't think i've told you my name before?? #anyway it's catherine🥰🥰🥰 #i'm typing this on my computer (without emojis) and if i didn't edit this you would be reading shit shite like #heartface and pout and cry LMAO #yeah abt the tattoos #some stuff with my parents i'm like deal with it??? lol #my mom tells me "if there's something you enjoy or you like but i don't have the same opinion on it... why would my (my mom's) opinion matter? #and i love that #like i'm not gonna go and do whatever i want #but if my mom doesn't like that i swear (which isn't true just an example) #its like okay.... #but whatever #and your tattoo ideas sound really cute!! #and yeah @ your parents, i mean you aren't getting something wild #and the tattoo album>>> #i'm gonna look up ariana's butterfly tattoos just so i know what you mean lol #but i'm guessing you don't want something so incredibily simple, but not super like over the top? #correct me if i'm wrong lol #LMAO the tags were in order don't worry ! #and yeah lol ily2 <33 #and once again, again, sorry for this post JSHJS ITS A MESS AND LONG AS HELL #and you don't need to go in order of my post its literally longer than your german compound words #u're fine #also !!! while writing this the birds were chirping outside and i was like 😳 #and one of your fics (i’ve read all of them, i don’t remember lol) that valentine’s day one where y/n had lingerie on (the pancake one lol) #inspired me to buy lingerie #like when i look back on me “growing up” #that fic & basically you lol really helped with that #that made no sense and i don’t know how to make it make sense... but... yeah. like ily

hiiiiiiiiiii <3333

Dear catherine, 😌

(you have said your name before, but it wasn‘t like an introduction or anything i think you were talking about .... was it possibly the incident at the cinema??? And you said something like ‘calm down catherine‘ like you were telling yourself to calm down idkd dkdkkdkd anyway i didn‘t mention it cause i wasn‘t sure if it was an accident or not dkdjd but now i know 😌❤️ Catherine is such a cute and lovely name btw omg and so are your brothers‘s names 🥰

Sorry that I‘m answering this so late, it‘s been an emotional rollercoaster for me since last week but i‘ll get to that in a second lol

Sksklssk girl i haven‘t played sims in like 2 weeks now ekejdkdlldld ok that‘s not that long at all actually but i keep wanting to play but then i end up not playing for whatever reason, so no news about my sims game 😔 but i love the names Liam and Peter and for twins!!! That sounds really nice actually

okay i‘m trying to answer your ask in chronological answer even though i wanted to wait for the depressing stuff and write it at the end or something OKAY so. i thought that i‘d feel so good when i start uni and that i‘ll like... have a purpose in life again and just be happy (cause in the last year i didn‘t do much and i was depressed like half of the time lol).... anyway i kind of feel even worse now? 😭 i think it‘s because in my brain it‘s like: university!!! that means your life will change and it‘ll all be so exciting. and don‘t get me wrong it is exciting butttt..... idk the online thing is so weird cause you‘re not meeting any new people (i‘m introverted anyway but still lol) and it doesn‘t feel like you‘re listening to/talking to actual people cause it feels the same as just watching a video?

also i thought i‘d be busy again but i only have one lecture (90mins) a day and theres one day where i dont have any lectures at all and just one day where i have 3 hours but.... idk i mean i shouldn‘t complain about having so much free time but i just don‘t know what to do all day and in a pandemic there really is nothing to do but i also can‘t relax bc it‘s like during the week and i know i have uni the next day and .... yeah.

There‘s also this one assignment i had to do that took me AT LEAST SIX HOURS AND IM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING????? so that was the only thing i‘ve been doing besides “going to“ lectures. for this one course we have to read two (really really long) texts (like it literally took me 3 hours to read them) and we‘re supposed to post it on this website that all the professors in our uni use. So after 5 days of anxiety (✌🏼) i posted mine this morning bc last night i realised that i didn‘t even know why i was having anxiety so i just posted mine today. The deadline is tomorrow at 12 and no one except me has posted theirs yet........ so i have anxiety again 🥰 cause idk if i‘m the only one who did it or if i even did it correctly

Edit while i‘m rereading this: my anxiety about uni is a lot better and i‘m not as d*pressed anymore maybe it was just hormones? idk but i‘m better so that‘s good

(I started writing this like 5 hours ago and then i randomly completely forgot lol)

I‘m in a better mood now though so let‘s move on from that (oh wait also, i think i‘m gonna see if i can find a psychiatrist bc with my anxiety symptoms (long story) i need to go to a psychiatrist, and so far i‘ve only gone to like psycholgists and it didn‘t help but i think that‘s just bc i was meant to go to a psychiatrist and not a psychologist so dldjdjsj

n e ways but yes you‘re not alone, ily, things will get better and yes i love you (i‘m not good at this type of thing🥲 but i‘d hug you right now if i could <3)

Yess i think the time difference between est and me is 6hours but gmt is uk time i believe? i think mine is called.... cet? For central european time? I could be completely wrong though lmao

Oof i completely forgot about hollywood, i remember when laura kept posting about it on instagram but i never actually watched it and i definitely won‘t now lmaodkdksjsn

Okay my driving lesson LEBDJDKDK I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH ANYONE AKSJSKSMMLM especially not my 40 or 50 year old driving instructor lol i like her but NOT LIKE THAT, the lesson was really really really good actually and i think i‘ll have my driving test soon, but i don‘t even remember why the anon would have thought that??? Oh wait now i remember okay KEKSKDLDL so during the lesson my instructor was like do you mind if i turn on some music? AND THIS WOMAN TURNED ON ONE DIRECTION I LOVE HER so i made a post about it and i said something about the song up all night and i guess i phrased it in a .... idk in a dumb way 💀 so the anon made a joke that i stayed up with my driving instructor all night and NO. No.

Wait did i read that right? YOU WERE ARIEL ON STAGE? SIALDBDJDKSLMSBDKDMDMDKDJSLSMDJFJJEDMBFEKLEFBJDLDVSIDLESKSKWKDKDJDOWNYUEKWNDUWLNSUFLWVSUDLEHDOENSIDBEISBEHENJELBSIEMWUDNRIW KB WOBE JO ON SBEUU HIII S HWS LV W ICH US KB okay this keyboard smash is getting out of hand but uh please do elaborate on that 💘😌???? Like you can‘t just drop that information and not say more??? I forgot if you‘re in like your school‘s drama group (is that a thing? lol idk anything about acting) or in an independent group? Either way - ARIEL that is so fucking cool

Your brothers loooooool, no i get it though obviously you love them and stuff but esp at their age children are so annoying so good luck with them 😭😭😭lmao

Yeah “anyway i imagine being an only child is really calming.. like you have time to yourself and its just you and your parents 😌“ yeah just me and my parents who constantly fight 🥰 lmao no i like being an only child, like i cannot imagine having siblings but i feel like if i had siblings i would be saying that i can‘t imagine being an only child so? but i do think it‘s quite different like i‘m trying to imagine having siblings and WHAT that‘s just so different omg i‘ve never really thought about it like properly ???

I saw a tik tok the other day that was like “sometimes i forget that my siblings have a life of their own. like i see them as side characters in my life“ and even though i can‘t relate obviously i felt that. lol, like i can really imagine how it feels idk what i‘m talking about like shut the fuck up, daria

(also my actual name is daria not aria but i dont like it, and also i wanted to be more anonymous on tumblr so now i‘m aria lmao. pls don‘t mention it though cause no one knows except for you and mel (peterbenjiparker) dkdkdkdnkdnd. but i‘m starting to identify with the name cause everyone keeps calling me that looool😭😭😭 (but i like the name, more than daria anyway? well it also depends on the accent, cause the way germans say daria is okay. the was Americans say it is also okay, but some of my family in England are from the north of england and i don‘t like how they say my name 💀 no offence to them(?) but yeah pls don‘t mention the name in your ask cause the chance of people seeing it is higher then (or if you want to say something about it just send a separate ask and i just won‘t post it (IDK what you‘d want to say about my name but yeah just in case slsldlldmsndnsns)

I‘m loving falcon and winter soldier so much but when i was watching an episode the week before last week (?) my laptop broke😭😭😭😭 during the scene where the dora milaje came at the end my laptop just shut down? And it had these lines all over the screen and i had to bring it to the shop where i bought it and they said it‘ll take 6-8 weeks to repair 💔💔💔 but at least it‘ll be for free, cause if i brought it back to apple it would cost like 400€ (i think that‘s nearly 500$) so yeah. but it sucks cause now i‘m “going to uni“ on a really old rusty laptop and on my phone which kinda sucks. oh yeah and also i can‘t watch anything on there 😭 i definitely want to watch wandavision but it‘ll have to wait🤧

Yessss you should def get your GED! I googled and I‘m still not entirely sure what it is dldks but from how you described it- YES!!!!!!

Idk if you know this? Like no idea if I‘ve told you this already (hmmm wait i feel like we talked about it actually?) anyway i was originally gonna go study in England, but for loads of reasons I ended up staying in Germany and I‘m def happy with my decision, but I definitely want to go to England sometime even if it‘s just for six months or maybe for my masters or something? And (obviously everyone is different) but i think everyone should go abroad and live in a different country once in their life, no matter if it‘s for school or what, and even if it‘s just for a few weeks. But i think that‘s something that you‘d never ever forget! And combining that with your acting/theatre??? You really would be living the dream 💘💘😌

how about burgers, chips (fries), and a large drink? any time next week works for me, should i pick you up?— sounds good see you soon 🥰🥰🥰

i used to be one of the people who‘d just do motherlode motherlode motherlode and just... what did i do? Why did i do that??? But not anymore lol. Like I said i haven‘t played sims in a few weeks but i‘ve been watching a few legacy challenge let‘s plays and usually i play with the aging off. So my sims just don‘t age 💀 but i could (should) turn aging on so that it stays exciting and i have limited time and everything. and once i get bored with my current sims i can just make them have kids and continue playing as their children when they get older- like recently i remembered that i haven‘t played the acting career in ages? and i haven‘t had a shop in ages? and i think you can even become a vet right??? like those are definitely some things i want to do in the next weeks!!! Also yes sksksjs i have a few hundred hours on sims as well (if not thousands 😭) it was just that one household that i‘d been playing with for 24hrs

AND GIRL SSKSKJD THE UNIVERSITY THING HAPPENED TO ME TOO, it was a while ago so i don‘t remember what degree and what job it was about but i made my sim study something for aaaaaages so she‘d get a better job from the beginning (you know what i mean like get in at a higher level)...... and i apparently studied the wrong thing cause i didn‘t get any benefits from studying and still had to start at level 1 and shit 🥴🥲

Oh also (this was like 2 weeks ago) Enisa and Michael did take in Michael‘s daughter and i think Enisa currently even has a higher/better relationship with the daughter than Michael but um💀💀💀 also i was hoping (since michael and enisa married (in their back yard i think lol) that the daughter (i forget what her name is😭) would have enisa as her step mom? Like you know how you can see the relationship and it says daughter or son or sister.. and i was hoping that it would say step mom but it doesn‘t say anything 🥲 but in my mind (and if the sims had proper family relations) she is her step mom😌 also Leo is a teenager now???? I mean I aged him up lol dkdk he was being too annoying as a toddler but i don‘t like children so i aged him up twice in one day and now he‘s a teen, but that means he can look after his half sister when she becomes a toddler which is good (the game recognises them as siblings tho even if they‘re just half siblings? why can‘t they have step family members in the sims🥲) okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

I‘ve been a bit sick these past few days and now i‘m getting a headache so i have to finish this response tomorrow 😭😭😭 </3

It‘s not tomorrow, it‘s 3 hours later but i‘m better lol

oooff when sims are ungrateful and won‘t woo woo (lol i like that) cause they‘re too tired like?? Be grateful that you‘re not living with your parents anymore 🙄 no okay dkdkdkdl idk if you play with mods (i don‘t) but i know there is a mod (or it‘s part of a mod idk maybe wicked whims?) where you can adjust the percentage of how risky a normal woo woo is, like you still click woo woo (3dksksks okay i‘ll say woohoo again— wait is that what’s it called? 😭) but there‘s like a 25% chance that your sim can still get pregnant just like in real life there‘s always a chance of getting pregnant even if you‘re using protection (just not 25% lmao) but yeah i personally don‘t play with mods sksk and you can always just click try for baby but it would be cool if you could add stuff like risky woohoo to the game without mods (i have no idea how to download mods and i play sims on a really really old laptop and sims is literally tje only thing that works on it anyway so—) i repeat my words from earlier: okay i‘ve annoyed you enough with sims ✋🏼

okay i‘m so sorry i‘m gonna watch fast & furious 1 now cause i need to watch f&f 1-5 until the 30th of april cause they‘re only on netflix til then (i mean i could watch them somewhere else but the quality is never as good) so i will finish this tomorrow after all😭

it is now 1 am, i finished the film, can feel a new obsession coming up again (i always have these f&f obsessions for six months before and after a new film comes out)

THE GOOGLE TRANSLATE wkekdjdj tbh it sounds like someone is speaking with some kind of foreign accent i guess that‘s probably because it just is a direct translation and so anyway slsjsj i don‘t know if you asked me what the word fucking is in german? like idk cause the translation is a bit weird but in case you asked lol sidjsjs theres not really a good translation like we just say fuck for fuck lmao, i don‘t know if you typed in fucking in google translate and it came out as verdammt? cause that means damn (or damned sksjjs) ummm yeah idek if/what you asked so imma move on🤧

I‘m not gonna comment on what you said about every stormzy song cause you already said all the important things but SKSKSJSJSKNSNDBDUDOENWBSLSKKHSULSLSKSBSJSKSK I WAS SMILING SO HARD WHEN I READ YOUR RESPONSE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH finally i know someone who loves him as much as i do 💘💘💘 also since you brought it up, i‘m pretty sure he‘s considered the most successful UK rapper or if not then at least top 3 so he‘s defffffffffinitely big in the uk, in germany more and more people are listening to uk rap too but not as much stormzy cause theyre dumb apparently 🙄 but anywY i‘m sooooo sooo happy that you like him. i think hith came out end of 2019 (i could be wrong but i think it came out on the 13th of december so (in a european way) you‘d write the date: 13.12 and obviously i don‘t KNOW this but i can definitely imagine that he chose that date because ACAB and yes, Michael. Yes. But he hasn‘t made too much music since then so i hope he‘s working on some new stuff 🤞🏼

Also i ordered the stormzy poster😌 also a nicki minaj one bc i decided i‘m gonna have one wall with red-ish posters (i already have two kinda red ones) and one with blue/green-ish posters (already have two) and i can add stormzy to the blue one and nicki to the red one, but i think that‘s it cause if my walls are tooo full it could look cluttered? I‘m not sure how that type of thing works lmao but my room is generally untidy so i don‘t want the walls to look unorganised too so i think that‘s it for now

I really want to finish this now but my brain is getting kinda slow and i need to sleep soon so this will have to wait till later after all 🥺🥴 (not that it makes and difference to you bc you‘ll see this whenever i post it buttttt i wanted you to know that i want to talk to you again but with my slow brain i‘m just taking too long to do it in one day😭😭😭 and i‘m so busy tomorrow hmm but i‘m sure i‘ll have 30 minutes to finish this then <3)

Okay wait I‘m so dumb I didn‘t realise I‘d nearly answered everything i could have posted this yesterday 😭😭

Oooohh that summer bra sounds so nice like if i was confident enough i literally would just wear a top that resembles a bra (or really is a bra lol) cause my tiddies always be looking amazing i‘m just insecure about my stomach sometimes 🙄🙄🙄 but recently i‘ve been loving myself more and more tbh 😌

also i hope you can go shopping for some nice clothes soon ✨😌

I‘ll be honest I haven‘t listened to your song recs YET but only because i wanna take my time with them and i‘ve been so busy and slso AJ tracey‘s album came out last week and I haven‘t listened to that one yet either so ekdkdj (he‘s also a uk rapper like quite popular and successful as well, but i feel like i‘m not gonna like his album cause whenever i‘m looking forward to an album it ends up being really bad and the albums where you weren‘t expecting it turn out to be bangers.... so yeah but i‘ll let you know when i listen to your songs!!!! :)

Omg i keep having to scroll up all the way to see the next thing you said so sorry if I completely miss some of the things you said😭😭

So when you sent this the bird was still bothering me oh my FUCK DKDLDMMDMDMD but now i‘ve been going to bed at like 1-2am so the bird is probably still asleep lool

Okay and for the rest of your ask my response is: 💘💖❣️💚❣️💛❣️💛💕💞❤️💓💟💞💕💕💖💘💝💟💟🧡❤️🧡💞💛💚💓💚💚💚❣️🧡💖💘🧡💝🧡💕💘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥰🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘 (okay that looked cuter in my head i don‘t really like the green hearts dldkkdksndnd)

#lovely anon #<3333333333333 #‚‘it‘s literally longer than your german compound words‘ LMAODKDMSLDKSLKS #ignore the comma at the beginning of the last tag????#aww wait i just read what you said at the end of your tags🥺🥺💘💘💘#love youuuu #ooooof i‘m reading my response and do i not know what a period is? like period as in. full stop.#my sentences are literally paragraphs and i use keyboard smashes to separate sentences from each other like what‘s wrong with me???#or ‚lol‘ snd ‚lmao‘#imma need me to do better (did you listen to heavy is the head as a whole? like the whole album? the song do better is stuck in my head toda #today so)#i‘ll try to write normal length sentenced in the future💀#sentencessss*

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ornithia · 3 years

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again? ohboy let's take a look:

still a racist, i see

so ... you admit to trolling? in other words, you knowingly and willfully instigated drama in the fandom tags, fully aware that your "cohorts" in this entire mess were likely fabricating the true extent of their "reactions"? wow - and the craziest thing is i can't tell if this is actual honesty coming from you for once or if you're just attempting to downplay the role of your own antics by throwing your own 'friends' under the bus now, i mean - really? color me surprised_pikachu.jpg

i mean, you keep using our names and talking about us, so yeah, anons are gonna let us know bc you're basically shit-talking behind our backs instead of actually confronting us directly by unblocking and having an actual conversation. and SPEAKING of assumptions and viv, i can't believe you're actually making an ass out of yourself over this:

look at all these ASSUMPTIONS you've made! what a shame i'll have to tear them down one by one:

i have 0 interest in FNAF. like, i legitimately think it's a bad game specifically for the reasons you described about it just now (i don't scare easily at ALL, jump scares are stupid and cheap, and the character designs are hideous and aesthetically displeasing to ME (though i wont shit on people who did like the game bc separation of art and artist is a thing that exists). idk who your anons are/were, that's how internet anonymity works but fuck them if they sent death threats, they should take their own advice if they're going to sink to that level

whatever gave you the notion that i might support the republican agenda in ANY capacity? it's laughable, seriously - i won't condone doxxing but also fuck the FNAF dude for actively funding the oppression of marginalised groups. i literally don't care enough about him to even recall his name from all of the whole doxxing drama or to even google his name right now, but viv was right

and viv was so right, in fact, that i spent days literally reporting doxxing posts and blogs targeting her - here's proof:

(there's more btw but i'm not going to screenshot every single instance bc this post has a 10 image limit, lol. but there you go, i actually did something about the situation and helped remedy it to some extent (and i'm still going, btw - i've also done this for the times the tags were spammed with kpop stans' fancam gore and drug peddling posts, too, but no you just think i'm just a "bully" for calling out your bullshit boohoo ;;uwu;; )

actually, i don't regret stepping in to call out an older fan for using their age/disability as "leverage to blow up at a younger fan unnecessarily for the crime of not knowing the full situation, that's completely on you - what goes around comes around (ALSO i'd like to add that throughout this whole situation, i merely pointed out all of the inconsistencies in everyone's arguments, and there were many. if you personally felt i was defending her, then maybe it wasn't me defending her so much as your own guilty conscious realising you weren't 100% in the right of the situation and that's not my problem, that's yours to recognise and reflect on)

oh "honey, sweetie" - i know how the @ function works. but the reason i or others use it is for our own legibility, regardless of whether it actually notifies you or not due to your little blockade (and this isn't the first time i've explained it to you either - who knows if it'll stick this time). like so, @heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon - did that work? not a fucking chance, but it looks nicer imo so i think i'll go ahead and keep using that format to my heart's content my own blog, tyvm

again, the only person vague-blogging throughout this entire ordeal has been you. i've directly addressed all matters pertaining to me directly, or referenced people who have gone more in-depth on the topic bc why regurgitate what's already been accurately said? also, this may come as a shock to you, but 6c6 actually reached out to me directly and thanked me for one of my call out posts. this was after my bigger post regarding his and trickster's whole drama with petit, which they undoubtedly saw (trickster, for sure, considering he reblogged me, and you KNOW he did bc you commented on it). and STILL they reached out to me, civilly, without having to resort to blocking me bc nothing i did was actually a threat to them or to anyone else involved (unflattering, for sure, but without ill-intent). proof below (post-deactivation obviously, bc i don't take screenshots unless i have a reason to):

anyway, so where were we? oh yes - that whole thing you went off on about guillermo del toro? added absolutely nothing to this convo. using your disability (or any other irrelevant token about yourself) as a shield against valid criticisms is not just inherently abelist ("i'm disabled so i can't be held accountable for my hot takes!" - do you not see the problem here?) it's also dismissive as fuck about the greater discussion at hand that affects everyone in the conversation, not just you. pulling oppression olympics will get you absolutely nowhere, not even in your own community. now let's see if you'll actually read this post or just pretend you did so that you can type out another long-ass rant highlighting your reading incomprehension.

#discourse #heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon

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hopeless-lovex0 · 5 years

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I HAVE A DREAM ( PART 9 )

Kim Hongjoong Fanfic

Warning: Angst. Cheating. Heartbreak. Cursing. Fluff.

HELLO GUYS. 👋🏼 Here is part 9 of I Have A Dream and I must say this part was very fun and exciting to write 😄 I hope you guys aren't so surprised with this weeks chapter and like always please enjoy this weeks chapter 😊😊 BTW how excited are you guys for this new come back? 😃

“ Holy... Shit”

Breathes out Mingi, the showdown between Ji Woo and the sweet older lady still present in his mind.

After watching Ji Woo scurry off, being casted out by the whole village community both Mingi and San ran back to the house. The whole ordeal being way too big to not mention.

Slamming the door open, Mingi takes ahold of San’s arm and drags him towards the big living room where he knows the rest of the guys would be hanging out in.

The rest of the guys (minus Hongjoong) watch as Mingi drags San into the room and sits him down on the sofa before leaning down and taking huge breaths in from having ran all the way from the small town square. Mingi takes a few more breaths in before walking towards Jongho and taking the remote off his hands, turning the TV off causing all the guys to yell out HEY! in protest.

“ Listen up, we have some something to tell you guys” say San once he finally regains his breath, standing up and walking towards the pile of guys that sat on the brown couch. “ Guess who we just saw!” Mingi says as he waits for one of the guys to start guessing.

“ I'm gonna go ahead and say Y/N since she's the only one that could bring up such a big reaction from you.” exclaims Seonghwa, irritated with how abruptly Mingi and San interrupted them in the middle of a good movie.

“ We saw her too and let me just say... WOW! I swear if you guys saw her you'll honestly lose your breath, she looks so pretty and pregnant!” answers Mingi causing San to nod along in agreement and the guys don't seem to miss the way his eyes twinkle at the mention of her name.

“ Then who else did you see? ” asks Wooyoung, curious as too who else would have caused Mingi and San to apparently run all the way home.

Mingi and San look at each other for a couple of minutes, seemingly having a mental conversation before turning towards the guys and uttering the name of the girl they have all collectively hold a strong dislike towards too.

“ Ji Woo.”

Serious of gaps fill the room, faces of shock confusing stare back at San and Mingi almost causing them to burst out laughing if the topic at hand wasn't so serious.

“ SHE’S HERE?!?” yells Wooyoung, causing the guys to wince at his volume. They failed to notice the small leader hiding in the shadows listening to their conversation.

“ More like she was.” says San, the guys calming down and giving him confused looks. “ What do you mean she was? Is she here or is she not?” questions Yeosang, the rest of the guys nodding their heads right after his question.

“ Okay so we went for a swing around the village to eat some food, but we bumped into Y/N and this older lady. We were waiting for them to leave and then eat something really quick but all of a sudden Ji Woo pops up behind them and starts trying to talk to Y/N.” Mingi blabbers on and the rest of the guys attentively listen to every word, making sure they don't miss anything. The leader of the 7 slowly inching his way in, making sure to be as quiet as he can so that none of the guys catch him.

“ Y/N didn't want to listen to her though, so the older lady with her took her and pushed her behind her. It looked like she knew who Ji Woo was because my god was her glare scary and it looked like she was trying to shut Ji Woo down quickly.” Mingi continues before stopping and taking a big breath in, his words coming out at a fast pace causing him to lose his breath. San having been quiet this whole time letting Mingi tell the story, notices how Mingi stopped so he decides to continue for him.

“ So the older lady was the one talking to Ji Woo and I guess Ji Woo didn't like that so she started screaming at Y/N! Telling her that she couldn't drop years of friendship for something that was apparently small, like can you believe her!” San spits out, the words that Ji Woo said replaying in his mind and causing him to huff in anger. The rest of the guys seem to feel anger as well as some of the guys have glares set upon their faces, jaws locked in frustration.

“ Y/N was being crowded by some people of the village and Ji Woo was getting mad, so she started screaming at Y/N that it was her fault that Hongjoong cheated on her! That she wasn't a good girlfriend to him!” butts in Mingi, causing the guys to jump up in anger.

“ HAS THIS BITCH LOST HER MIND!” yells out Jongho and the rest of the guys freeze in shock, first off; never hearing Jongho curse out so freely and second from how mad he sounds. All the guys do is watch as he paces around the back of the couch, muttering under his breath. The sound of curse words mixed in with Ji Woo’s name causing the oldest of the bunch to cringe from the harsh words coming out of the youngest mouth but nonetheless letting him continue.

San reaches forwards and takes ahold of Jongho’s sweater, pulling him towards the couch and making him sit down. Before Jongho can get up and start pacing again, San grabs both his hands and starts rubbing circles in them with his thumb, a technique that Y/N used to do on him whenever he was stressed or mad.

“ I really miss her Hyung...” Jongho mutters sadly, causing San to sigh. After the whole ordeal in Y/N’s apartment and her leaving, the guys felt like something was missing from them and San took a huge turn because of that but everyone knew that the second person to slowly change due to her departure was Jongho.

Y/N was like a big support system for Jongho, second to his family. She was always reassuring him whenever he couldn't hit a certain note or whenever he was getting frustrated with a specific dance move he would tell Hongjoong to call Y/N wanting a big warm hug from her.

Jongho really loved Y/N like a big sister, a sister that he could talk to without holding back. She took care of him like a big sister, and all he wished for was being able to hold her again wanting to feel the comfort that she could only provide.

“ I think her life is falling apart..” whispers Yunho, the guys waiting for him to carry on talking.

“ I went to the mall she used to work at with y/n and apparently she got fired.” he says and all the guys do is roll their eyes.

“ Whatever.. She honestly deserved that, after all wasn't Y/N the one that got her that job?” Yeosang asks, wooyoung humming as an answer to his question.

“ Okay enough about her losing her job! Anyway, so she started being rude and disgusting towards Y/N so you won't believe what the older lady with her did!” Mingi once again exclaims, catching the attention of the guys again.

“ She practically marched towards Ji Woo... AND THEN BAAM! SMACKED HER RIGHT ACROSS THE FACE!” Mingi cheers out, the rest of the guys gasping out in shock. Jongho turns towards San and gives him a look of disbelief, San just lets a smirk invade his face and gives a firm nod.

“ Did she really get smacked?!?! ” questions wooyoung and Mingi screams out a yes. “ You should have seen her face! She looked so surprised and her lip was split from how hard Mrs. Park smacked her!” San adds in, the smug look upon his face letting the guys know that he probably enjoyed her getting smacked.

“ Mrs. Park..?” asks Seonghwa and San nods his head in confirmation to the name. “ That's the name of the one who smacked Ji Woo, we heard everyone talking about her after they left.”

They all sit in silence after that, wooyoung letting out small whines from having missed Ji Woo getting slapped. Hongjoong decides that he should finally make himself present or else the guys would call him out for listening to them.

“ Ji Woo was here..?” His small voice pierces the silence of the living room and all the guys turn towards him in surprise, his sudden presence causing Mingi to jump in fright.

“ Why are you acting so surprised.. I honestly won't be surprised if it was you who told her where we were. You probably missed your midnight fucks right.” scoffs out Jongho and Hongjoong bites his lip in anger, causing the skin to break and the taste of the iron red liquid swirl inside his mouth.

“ I-.. I didn't call her... I blocked her number after y/.. After Y/N left.” Hongjoong mutters out, desperately trying to defend himself as best as he can.

“ It doesn't matter anyway, the home wrecker left after being humiliated in front of everyone. Karma is working fast with her.” San says, trying to quickly dismiss the subject of Ji Woo the thought of her just making him angry.

Standing up abruptly, San walks towards the living room doorway where Hongjoong stands causing the rest of the guys to jump up in alarm. They know San would never hit anyone, no matter how much they wronged him but they still stand alert in case anything were to happen.

San knowing the guys are probably watching his every move lifts up his hand and shakes it around letting them know that he doesn't plan on doing anything bad.

Stopping next to Hongjoong, they stand next to each other both facing different directions. “ Ji Woo was one problem in Y/N’s life and I'm glad she's dealt with but there still stands you. One more problem for her, but I'll make sure that you stay far away from her from now on.” he says and finally walks out, heading towards his shared room.

They watch as Hongjoong squeezes his eyes closed, desperately biting his lips again and harshly gripping his pants. He lets out a shaky breath and opens his eyes again, glassy teary eyes stare straight at the rest of the guys in the living room. The immense frustration and pain causing some of the guys to look away from him before they all slowly start walking out, leaving Hongjoong standing in the living room alone.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

“ Seonghwa-Hyung, have you seen my airpods anywhere around here?” San asks as he walks into the dining room where the older male is seated in, a book and a steaming cup of hot chocolate situations next to him.

At the call of his name, the older male lifts up his head from his reading and watches as San walks around the room slowly starting to look around. “ Didn't you have it with you yesterday? How could you lose such an ugly blue airpod case?” Seonghwa exclaims causing San to snap his head towards him in disbelief.

“ How could you?!? Wooyoung gave me that case for our friendship anniversary hyung! What would he say if he heard you just now!” San points at Seonghwa, his fake hurt tone causing the older male to let out a small chuckle.

“ He won't say anything, he's too scared to go against me.” Seonghwa smugly says and all San does is shake his head trying to not let Seonghwa see that he agrees with that statement.

“ Didn't you have it with you when you came back right after spotting Y/N?” he ask but San just shakes his head in agreement. “ Yes I had it with me then.. But I didn't feel it in my jacket pocket a while later.” San says and Seonghwa hums in concentration. “ Maybe you dropped it when we ran after Hongjoong, we did run the whole way and came right back home after dragging him back. It might still be there.” Seonghwa say and San snaps his fingers when Seonghwa mentions the running they did yesterday.

“ You're right Hyung! After we came back home I didn't feel it in my pockets anymore.... I'll be back, I need to find it before someone else grabs it.” San exclaims making the older male shake his head at him. “ Why don't you wait till the morning? It's already dark and it's supposed to rain in a little bit.” the older male says, worry evident in his face.

“ Don't worry! If I run over there, I'll have enough time to look around and make it back before it starts to rain. I have my phone with me, so I'll call you when I start heading back.” San shows his phone to SeongHwa before bolting out the dining room and towards the front entrance.

“ H-HEY! You better be back in 20 minutes! If you're not back by then, I'm sending a search and rescue party!” Seonghwa screams out and all he gets in return is laughter from San.

By the time San gets near the park, the low rumble of clouds nearby cause him to curse out loud trying to hurry up before the waterfall catches up to him.

Taking out his phone, he turns on the flashlight and starts panning it across the cobblestone road desperately trying to find the bright neon blue airpod case. Due to the complete darkness surrounding him, he fails to notice the big twisted branch sprouting from the ground a couple feet away from him.

Slowly walking around the area, he curses out loud again before quickly twisting around and beginning to walk back towards the house. He makes it a couple steps before his foot is caught between the branch causing him to fall and twist his ankle, letting out a loud yelp of pain when he hits the floor.

Slowly reaching towards his foot he rips the branch off the ground and turns on his back, reaching a shaky hand towards his throbbing ankle. Lifting up the material of his sweatpants, he sees his ankle slightly red and swelling no doubt in his mind that it's at least sprained.

Falling on his back, he lays there a couple of seconds taking deep breaths in trying to calm himself down. Reaching towards his pockets, he takes out his phone and quickly unlocks it wincing in pain when he accidentally moves his ankle. Pressing the contact icon, he types in Seonghwa’s name but before he can press the call icon a familiar voice calls out towards him.

“ Oh my God! Are you okay? I saw you fall and I ran as fast as I could to reach you!” the person exclaims and San turns towards the girl making her way to him.

“ Do you need help? Is your ankle okay? That was a pretty heavy fall...” her voice trails out once she makes eye contact with the male laying on the floor.

“ S-San...?” Y/N mutters out, starting at the injured boy with wide eyes. San goes to reach for her, but only manages to scream out in pain the throbbing in his ankle getting worse than it was before.

The scream snaps Y/N back into reality and she without thinking carefully crouches down and places a comforting hand on San’s shoulder. The action surprises him and he snaps his eyes towards the woman he's in love with in confusion, expecting her to leave the minute she saw him. Instead, he watches as she closely inspects his ankle then wince when she notices how ugly it's gotten in just a couple minutes.

“ We need to head to my house.” she firmly states causing San to choke on his spit from how serious she sounds. Without waiting for his response, she stands up and then crouches down again putting her arms behind San and carefully trying to lift him up.

“ Woah Woah Woah! Wait a minute Y/N! You’re pregnant, you can get hurt trying to lift me up!” San yells out in protest, trying to remove her hands away from him in order to stop her for moving him any further.

“ It's about to start raining and my house is close by. Do you want to wait in the rain for someone to pick you up?!” she harshly asks him, causing San to shut up from how hard she’s glaring at him. Looking at the sky quickly, he notices how much darker it's gotten and the bright flashes of lightning rolling in from further away. She's right he thinks and all he does is get one look at her stern face before giving up and nodding his head.

Neither of them say anything as she helps him get up, San trying his hardest to carry most of his weight as to not hurt her and her baby. Gradually walking a couple more feet, in under 5 minutes they end up in front of a small two-story house. Walking up to the porch they make it just in time because the moment they step foot under shelter the heavy clouds above let out buckets of water, harshly hitting against the steps they just climbed.

Taking out her keys and throwing open her door, Y/N drags a panting San towards the living room before dropping him on the sofa and quickly walking towards the kitchen. As she rummages through her pantry, taking ahold of the small first aid kit she spots a small white note with her brother's handwriting letting her know that he's out buying food.

Placing the note back down, she walks towards her fridge and grabs a bag of frozen peas before walking back towards the injured man. Kneeling down she places a small table in front of him and props his foot up on some pillows, trying so hard to focus on something else instead of his piercing eyes looking at her.

Placing the frozen bag on his swollen red ankle, she grabs his shaking hand and places it on the cold bag before getting up again and walking towards the downstairs bathroom. San’s heart beats a hundred miles per hour, the soft touch of her hand grabbing his causing him to forget about his injured ankle for a split second before he watches her stand up again and walk towards a long hallway.

Throwing his head back he takes a big inhale through his nose and let it out in form of a shaky breath,the pain causing him to break out in a sweat. He runs a hand through his quickly dampening hair and waits a couple second before hearing the sound of Y/N’s sandals rushing back towards him.

Opening his eyes, he comes face to face with a cup of water and Y/N’s outstretched hand with a white pill placed in the middle.

“ Take it.. It's ibuprofen. It'll help with the pain.” She says and San quickly takes it from her hand, wanting to get rid of the pain coursing through his ankle.

Y/N moves back towards his swollen ankle and takes his hand away from the still freezing cold bag, making sure not to accidentally bump or move his foot. She reaches towards the red first aid kit before taking out an anti-inflammatory cream and carefully spreading it across the red swollen skin.

San watches as she takes a role of clean white bandage and carefully wraps it around his ankle, tying it firmly so that it won't fall off right away. After tending to his ankle they sit there in complete silence, the tension in the air so thick you could cut it with a knife.

“ I'm sorry... I'm really sorry..” San whispers out to Y/N, causing her to grip her baby blue dress. Standing up abruptly, she goes to walk away from him but San reaches out faster than she can walk. He strongly grips her wrist, yet soft enough so he doesn't cause a bruise.

“ Please... Please don't leave me again Y/N...Please don't walk away...” San chokes out holding onto her wrist with both hands and bringing it towards his face, placing her hand on his face and gripping it there. Y/N watches as San sobs onto her hand, his hands keeping her hand placed on his face and sobbing out pleas for her to stay.

Turning back around to face him, she lifts her other hand and places it on his other cheek causing San to let out a loud sob and cry out even harder. He intertwines his fingers with hers and brings them up to his forehead, preventing her from moving away from him.

“ Please just let me explain.. Let me explain myself and if by the end you still hate me then I'll leave you alone but please just let me explain.” He cries out causing Y/N to choke in a sob, dropping her head on their intertwined hands and letting tears drop from her glassy eyes.

They sit there together, both they're heads placed on their interlocked hands crying into each other. Finally lifting up her head, Y/N watches as San manages to calm his sobbing down to a meer sniffle here and there.

“ Do it..” she whispers causing San’s head to snap up towards her, his bloodshot red eyes staring right back at her intense stare.

“ Explain Yourself.”

#ateez #ateez angst #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez reactions #kpop imagines #kpop angst #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez san #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez jongho

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