#i’m not gonna lie - it hurts so fucking bad to have done so much work all by myself - untreated - unmedicated - no resources -

[forcedjuggalofication]

narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real narcissistic abuse isn’t real n

#vent/rant in tags #some people are JUST ABUSIVE. #i’m not gonna lie - it hurts so fucking bad to have done so much work all by myself - untreated - unmedicated - no resources - #just guesswork - just to have it not fucking matter because people discard me the SECOND they learn about my #TRAUMA BASED fucking disorder. #it’s not my fault. i was a CHILD. i was a CHILD who should have been cared for - not neglected - isolated - and abused. #i’m sorry that maybe some people take that and repeat the cycle - but everything about that told me that i HAVE to be BETTER - #i CANNOT repeat those same fucking behaviours that wounded me so deeply and ruined my fucking life #IT IS NOT MY FAULT. #and you know fucking what? my biggest abuser had NPD - and i rejected my diagnosis for YEARS. because of terms like narc abuse. #and because people demonized him on the basis of being a narcissist instead of on the basis of being an abuser. #rejecting my diagnosis only hurt me more - and hurt the people around me more. #i am so tired. i’m just a person. i am just a human being. i try so hard - i don’t even want recognition or praise for trying - #i’m just tired of being thrown away - i’m tired of being treated like my abuser just because of my diagnosis #he quite literally tried to murder me - believe me if you want - i don’t care - i was a child and he tried to murder me and i still think #that there is no excuse to demonize NPD just because he has it. #fuck all the way off - go die - i don’t care #none of my friends would ever know i have NPD because i’m not a fucking stereotype - i’m not an evil monster - i don’t want to hurt anyone- #the way i’ve been hurt - i NEED to be the best - i NEED to be as good as possible #stop demonizing my disorder - please - i am begging #screaming into the void #NPD #narc abuse #narcissistic abuse

[triplexdoublex]

What The Cuck?

Parings: Pete x Reader / Colson x Reader

Warnings/tags: Cuckholding, squirting, P In V sex, Anal sex, Anal gaping, cum play, cum farting, make shift cock ring, dirty talk, degradation.

A/N: Hope you guys enjoy this, and that it was worth the wait! I’m opening anons back up.

“That’s it, Pete! I’m done, I’m leaving!” You shouted in the middle of a heated argument.

“Oh yeah, where you gonna go!?” Pete fired back as you made your way to the front door.

“I dunno, maybe I’ll go to back to Colson—he fucks me better than you do anyways!!” You let the door slam behind you.

The second it left your lips you regretted it. You were so caught up in the argument you were just saying things to be hurtful and spiteful at that point— even if there was a hint of truth to it.

It’s not that sex with Pete was bad by any means, but, yeah, Colson was definitely better. You had dated Colson for a few years, prior to you dating Pete, but things had ended amicably— just due to his hectic schedule.

You had gotten close to Pete through his friendship with Colson, and with him being more available, your friendship seemed to naturally progress into something more. Colson didn’t mind, a lot of people in their friends group had dated the same girls before, plus you were still on friendly terms with Colson, so it made group hangouts a lot less awkward.

You hoped your angry outburst wouldn’t affect their friendship, especially after you and Pete had made up and got back together. Neither of you brought it up. You silently hoped he had forgotten about it, much like how you both seemed to forget what had even started the silly argument in the first place. But you couldn’t help but notice the way he began acting when you both were around Colson lately; the way Pete tensed up when ever Colson got close to you, the way Pete would fuck you so hard the second you were alone again, like he had something to prove. At least that’s what you assumed, but the truth is Pete had a very different reason for the way he’d been acting. A reason that all came to light one day after an afternoon at Colson’s, followed by an intense fuck by Pete.

You had barely finished coming down from your high and catching your breath when Pete brought it up.

“So uhh, I’ve been thinking .. a-about what you said when we were fighting — ya know umm , what you said about Colson—”

“Pete, I’m so sorry.. I shouldn’t have said that , I was just mad and—”

“But you meant it? Didn’t you? He fucked you better than me.” Pete said, the last part sounding more like a statement than a question.

“Pete I-I” you stuttered , giving yourself away “I don’t—”

“Don’t lie to me, Y/N. Tell me the truth. Tell me he fucked you better than me!” His breathing increased and his flaccid dick slowly started springing to life again. “I wanna hear you say it!”

“Pete what the hell is —”

“Just say it! —PLEASE!” He cut you off , hand reaching for his hardening cock.

“Fine—! Uhhhh.. Colson fucked me better than you!— Happy?”

And happy he was; his shaft standing at full mast once more as he worked himself at lighting speed, “AGAIN!” He pleaded.

“Colson fucked me better than YOU!” You obliged, confused as hell but turned on nonetheless.

“Ughh Fuck— s-say something else.. about you and Colson , I’m- I’m so close!”

“At least Colson’s made me squirt before!” You teased.

That was exactly what he wanted, exactly what he needed , his cock fountaining over his fist.

“Pete. what the—” you were at a loss for words, but strangely into whatever the fuck was going on.

“I have no idea, all I know is that day we were fighting…and you said Colson fucks you better than me and slammed the door…I’ve…I’ve never been that hard in my life…haven’t been able to stop thinking about Colson fucking you since,” Pete admitted, out of breath. “Do you think Colson would … if .. if I asked?”

“Lemme get this straight — y-you wanna watch Colson fuck me?” You asked, completely flabbergasted.

“Yeah and not just that— like I want you both to tell me what a piece of shit I am in bed.”

“But — but you’re not! Colson’s not even that much b—”

“Just indulge me, ok?” Pete cut you off.

“Man, and I thought Colson had some weird kinks!” You teased. “But to answer your earlier question.. yeah, I think Colson would absolutely do it.”

“And umm.. uhh— what about you?”

“If you're really serious about this then, yeah, I guess I would. I mean , I’ve already had sex with him before so I don’t think it’d be a big deal.”

***********

“So you’re a cuck!?” Colson exclaims with a chuckle, after Pete proposes the idea the next time the three of you are alone together at Colson’s house.

“A what?” Pete questions

“A cuck— C’mom Pete, there’s a whole category on pornhub for this shit, what’d you think you were special cuz you wanna be degraded while you watch your girl get fucked?

“Well excuuuse me, for not being an expert in kink terminology like you” Pete jokes nervously. “So will you do it or not?”

“Oh I’ll do it alright,” Colson smirks as he makes his way over to the couch in his bedroom, where you’re sitting next to Pete.

Your abdomen churns with desire with every step he takes towards you. It’s been a long time since you’ve been with him in this way and you almost feel guilty at how much you’re eagerly awaiting his touch, his cock, his everything.

“I’d love to hear about how this came up,” Colson teases as he pulls you off the couch to your feet and roughly spins you around to face Pete. “You gonna tell me the story, pretty girl?” He prompts, from behind you, lips ghosting along the side of your neck and a hand slowly gliding up your inner thigh, causing your clit to swell with excitement.

You gulp with nervous anticipation before speaking as Colson’s fingers begin to disappear under the hem of your pleated skirt, and Pete’s eyes widen. “W—we had an argument, and I …Mmhhhm.. I said some things,” you let out a moan mid sentence, his fingertips having found your already engorged bud.

“You told him I fucked you better, didn’t you?” He roughly cups your pussy with his large hand, a smirk present in his tone. You nod, but it’s not good enough for him, he wants to hear you say it. “C’mon baby, you know I like it when you use your words.”

You let out a meek “yes” in response but he still wants more.

“Full sentences baby, and look at Pete when you say it.” He roughly jerks your jaw up with his free hand, forcing you to make eye contact with Pete. “Tell him who fucks you better!”

You look to Pete with unsure eyes— this is all so strangely alluring but a small part of you is still worried about hurting his feelings. But Pete gives a reassuring nod, letting you know it’s ok.

“Colson— Colson fucks me better than you!” You continue.

Instantly, you swear you can actually see Pete’s pupils darken and expand with lust — he’s truly enjoying this.

“Damn right I do!” Colson licks a bold stripe up your neck. “Did you tell him I can make you squirt?” He questions. “And use your words this time!” He warns, intensifying his grasp between your thighs.

“I did.”

“Yeah, well maybe we should do more than just tell him, maybe we should show him,” he growls in your ear as he slips your skirt off your hips and down your thighs, followed by your panties, helping you step out of them. “Feel how fucking wet your girl is for me.” Colson says tossing your soaked panties at Pete.

“Jesus, babe!” Pete gasps looking at you after catching the saturated fabric in his hand, his voice cracking into a brief laugh of disbelief at just how truly drenched they are.

“Bet you never get her that wet!” Colson mocks, and a wave of guilt mixed with humiliation wages over you, because there’s no denying that Colson’s right.

But Pete doesn’t seem the least bit bothered by the revelation, in fact he stuffs your wet undergarment down his pants and begins rubbing himself with them, all while keeping his eyes intensely locked on you and Colson. He watches wide eyed as Colson shoves you forward. You’re practically straddling Pete’s lap from where you stand now, your stance widening as Colson inserts two long slender fingers inside of you.

“Mmmm Fuck!” You cry out, your hips already bucking against his hand when his fingertips reach your G-Spot; each prod against it an erotic novel being written in Morse code. Your arousal is plentiful and squelches audibly between his fingers as you begin to tighten around his slick digits. Moan after incoherent moan fall from your lips, as he expertly works your spot.

“I can feel your pussy gripping my fingers. You’re already close, Huh?” He teases with a laugh. “I still remember all your tells,” he smirks. “And I still remember how right when you start to cum you let out that little sque—”

And as if on cue your voice cracks, your moans morphing into a shrill squeak as your orgasm warmly pulses to life in your abdomen.

“Ahh there it,” Colson chuckles smuggly, watching as your release gushes onto Petes lap; the soft light denim of his jeans now morphing into dark patches of midnight blue, all while Pete’s hand moves furiously beneath their fabric.

Pete’s speechless, his eyes flicking from you to the mess in his lap and back again in exhilarating disbelief like an unsuspecting passersby of some David Blayne-eques street magic. It was one thing to watch some strange girl in a porn squirt a million miles away behind the screen of his laptop, but it was another experience entirely to watch it live in front of him, as his own girl soaked his lap at the hands of his best friend.

“Annnd that my friends is the look of a man who’s never made a girl squirt in his life!” Colson taunts with a chuckle, while licking his fingers clean. “And don’t even think for a second that I’m done with her yet.”

Without warning Colson grabs you roughly from behind and maneuvers you in the direction of the bed, tossing you face down on his mattress. “ Ass up, you know how I like it.” He instructs before snatching off your remaining clothing.

You’ve barely even had a chance to come down from your first orgasm — in fact you're still dripping- when you hear Colson fumbling with his belt behind you. And the next thing you know he’s inside you, not even giving you a moment to adjust, his huge cock stretches you so deliciously, so perfect, each thrust pummeling your g-spot just like you remember.

“Fuck, Colson— so good.” You cry out.

“Yeah, you like this big dick deep in your guts, huh you little slut? Want me to keep fucking in front of your man like the fucking whore that you are?”

“Yess!” You moan breathily. God, he could dirty talk like no other.

“I know what else you like—” he proceeds to lick his thumb. “You like this pretty pink asshole played with, don’t you? He begins tracing his slick thumb in circles over the tight ring of muscle, slowly coaxing it open enough for him to slip his thumb inside” Your breath hitches in pleasure as it enters you.

“Mmmhmm FUCK! I missed my ass being played with like this.”

“Missed?” Colson’s questions. “Don’t tell me my boy Pete over here is too much of a pussy for some anal play?” He says, giving his friend a dirty look.

“It’s ‘not his thing’.” You mock while making direct eye contact with Pete.

“Can’t even give your girl what she wants— Pathetic !!!” Colsons fires his words in Pete’s direction, while he rotates his thumb inside you. “Now your sorry ass can sit there and watch ME give it to her.”

Pete’s eating this up, every teasing and taunting word spat his way traveling straight to dick. So much so that Pete desperately needs out of the hellish confines of his jeans to work himself more vigorously. His dark, wide pupils stay locked on the scene before him as he quickly lowers his pants down and over his pale ass to their final resting place right above his knees, and pulls out his cock, your soaked panties tumbling out with it.

Colson’s long slender body contours to your curves as he leans forward to seductively whisper in your ear “Should I loosen you up a little more, since it’s been so long? Or you think you can take me?”

“Fuck, Colson! Just give it to me!”

You know it’s gonna hurt, but you're so desperate to feel him back there again that you don’t care — besides in the words of Colson himself ‘a little bit of pain kinda make it feel good sometimes.’

With nothing but remnants of your arousal and his own spit as lube he begins his taboo entrance into what most only consider an exit. You relax your body and breathe through the inevitable discomfort of adjusting to his size, just as he had taught you years ago.

“Good girl, that’s it, breathe.” He praises. “You know it’s gonna feel so good in a minute.” He gently caresses your hips, helping you relax further.

By the time his length is fully inserted the pain has already begun to subside, replaced by the most intoxicating pleasurable fullness; every tiny nerve ending inside you set ablaze. God, you’ve missed the unique sensation. He feels impossibly deep, but yet somehow you crave him deeper.

“Fuck, Colson. Right there” you cry out as you push back against him; your backside now pressed appropriately against his XXX tattoo.

Just when you think it can’t possibly feel anymore pleasureful he begins to move inside you, slow at first, drawing his hips back until he almost slips out, then steadily forward until his hips kiss your backside again, his thick length reaching that pleasurable spot deep within you.

“So good, sooo FUCK-ing good, Oh My God , Colson!” You babble, already inebriated off his cock.

“Mmmmm Yeah, say my name again, remind Pete who fucks you right!”

It’s at this point you realize you’ve been so lost in the pleasure your ex is giving you that you completely forgot your boyfriend exists, nevermind the fact that he’s in the same room .. watching!

A cocktail of arousal and guilt swirl in your abdomen as you look towards Pete. Lucky for you he hasn’t seen to notice, too lost in his own fantasy-come-to-life playing out in front of him.

Suddenly, Pete’s head lolls back, his eyes slip shut and his eyebrows knit together ; a sign you know all too well.

“Gonna— Mmmm Fuck!, Gonna cum first like usual?” You taunt Pete through shattered moans.

Determined not to prove you right, Pete stills his motions for a moment and tightly grips himself at the base, silently wishing he had a cockring to restrict blood flow and help him last longer.

Pete adjusts his position on the couch while trying to gain some composure before he busts, his free hand coming down on something wet — you’re panties from earlier. The discovery sparks an idea. In an act of pure desperation, Pete fashions a makeshift cockring from the garment, quickly twisting the elastic waistband around the base of his cock, veins bulging almost immediately. Despite his best efforts he knows he isn’t buying himself that much more time, especially when he notices the way your arousal from your unplugged hole is dripping down your inner thighs like thick honey; so sweet he can almost taste it.

Colson's stamina is unmatched, he could drill your asshole for hours on end if you really needed him too, but he knows you're ready to cum by the way your legs are beginning to shake. You can feel it too, the way your lower abdomen squeezes and tightens climbing it way to the peak, and then just like a rollercoaster it comes surging down at a break-neck speed, an endless series of loop de loops as you climax hard. Your body is useless,, unable to even hold itself up on all fours while Colson’s warm cum fills you to the brim.

Quickly Colson pulls out and props you back up, turning your body so your ass faces Pete, and spreads your cheeks open. “Uhgmm, yeahh, fuck!” His voice is dry and raspy “Show Pete that gape, and show Pete how I came inside you, push it all out baby, let him see.”

You do as you’re told, and Pete cums, forcefully fountaining over his fist at the site of his best friends cum bubbling and farting out of your used hole.

The three of you are blissfully silent in the aftermath but it’s quite clear by everyone’s euphoric expression this will definitely be happening again .

#machine gun kelly #mgk #colson baker #colson baker smut #mgk smut #machine gun kelly smut #colson baker fanfic #Pete Davidson #Pete Davidson smut

[gyupinkys]

Use you

Hoshi x reader ft. txt

Soonyoung doesn't play around when it comes to his girl. Despite you being able to fend for yourself, he can't help but worry when you turn up missing. You on the other hand, you're having the time of your life putting a bratty Soobin and his friends in their place.

WARNINGS: MURDER, GORE, TORTURE, guns, knives, switch reader, dom hoshi, impact play, degradation, masturbation, some mxm, oral (m&f receiving), unprotected sex, voyerism, exhobitionism, mommy and daddy kink bondage, and more. I kinda went a little ham.

WC-2.8K

Hoshi’s knuckles are really starting to hurt. He’s not the muscle man so why is he the one torturing this man for information? 

“Where is she?”

“You’re never getting your bitch back.” the man tied to the chair says with a bloody smile. 

Soonyoung likes to think he’s a calm man. He always tries to keep his head steady, he tries to think things through, but right now all he can see is red. This fucking low life thinks he can disrespect you and it’s wont become an issue?

“That bitch huh?” Hoshi says with a smile; turning around to pick up his favorite, sharpest knife. You gifted this to him two years ago after you stabbed him in the leg for flirting with a girl at the club. The knife is beautiful, matte black blade with gold detailing and across the handle is his name engraved. You were so excited to give it to him only to see a girl's hand on his chest and his hands on her hips. You knew he was trying to rile you up, make you take him to the nearest bathroom and fuck him like he’s yours, but little did he know he had another thing coming. You and Hoshi have an open relationship, you both know you wouldnt work well tied down. Hoshi don’t mind you being with other people, frankly he think it’s kind of hot knowing you fuck other people but at the end of the day your his and you’ll do anything for him.  God, just remebering that night is making him hard but he needs to focus on the fucker who has the nerve to take you from him. 

Hoshi runs the knife across the cheeks, carving a smile into his face. “You know I've always wanted to do this to someone, joker style.” The man groans in pain and spits blood onto Hoshi's face. Without hesitation hoshi cuts the man's pointer finger clean off, making him scream.  

“You have nine more opportunities to tell me where she is.”

“Last I saw her she was gagging on my cock.”

“OK. You’re done.”

He shoves his knife straight into the mans throat making him gag and choke on his own blood.

“Gag on that bitch.”

Hoshi leaves the room frustrated. None of these guys give up any information and it’s already been two days since you were taken.

“Hosh, if you keep killing them you won’t get any information.” Jun sighs from outside. 

 “He doesn't know shit he’s just tryna piss me off.”

“Take a breath man, you know she can fend for herself.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You know I can see why Karina won’t fuck you, you punch like a bitch.” you say as you spit blood out of your mouth. That's a complete lie, well not the Seulgi part but he absolutely does not punch like a bitch. Your head is throbbing after only one punch.

“Shut it Y/N, I really don’t want to hurt you.” Yeonjun spits.

“What is your goal here? All you're gonna do is piss off everyone and Hoshi will make sure to kill you.”

“You know how much respect I’ll get for being the one to take one of SVT’s girls? Make her mine? That's the biggest slap in the face to any man.” 

“You're so cute Soobin, but that’s not happening. You got the right idea, but the wrong bitch.”

“And what’s little old you gonna do?” he says with a smile.

“You really don’t know who you're messing with.”

“I’m so scared," he said sarcastically and turned to leave the room. Before the door closed you hear him sadly say to someone outside “Yeonjun, do i really punch like a girl?” 

This makes you chuckle to yourself. You feel bad for the poor kid. He’s trying to make a name for himself but this isn't the right way to do it.  Slipping your hands out of the poorly tied ropes you stand up and stretch your legs. These guys are clearly new to the game, they only tied your arms together which is a rookie mistake. They also didnt search you which is even more of a mistake.  You don’t think they’re stupid enough to leave the door unlocked, but you try it anyway and low and behold it's unlocked.You pick up a gun from the tool table and sigh feeling even more sorry for them, this is very pathetic. 

You walk outside to see this is an empty warehouse. You’d think they’d have someone guarding the door but you walk right out. You hear commotion coming from a side room and you peek inside seeing five guys arguing over a game. You decide to mess with them, walking in and taking a seat next to Soobin.

“What are we playing?”

They all look at you with wide eyes. “Beomgyu! I thought you said you tied her up!”

“I did, I don't know how she got out.” 

“Guys, you really need to figure your shit out.” you sigh.

“Why are you all sitting there go get her!”

Beomgyu jumps up and tries to grab you but you hit him across the face with your gun making everyone stop. They all put their hands up and you tell them sit down. 

“Guys, I really don’t want to kill you ok! You seem like nice dudes but this is not the way to make a name for yourselves. You can’t be a puppy and try to attack an elephant or some shit. Start small.” 

“I told you we shouldn't do this.” the blue haired one says.

“Taehyun this is not the time for “I told you so” “

“Can you not tell them it was us, I really don’t want to die.” the tall black haired one whimpers.

“Aren’t you so cute, what's your name?”

“Kai”

“Kai, I can’t let you guys go without punishment.” you pout.

“Pleaseeee” he says giving you a finger heart.

“God, you guys are so cute.” you say with a smile. 

“Stop calling us cute. I don’t know why we're even listening to you, bitch.”

“Soobin. Do you know that I kill people for a living?” you say as you approach him.

“So trust me when I say I’m not scared of five little boys who think they have the balls to be in the mafia.”

“I think you’re underestimating us,” he says as he looks down on you.

“Do your best, love.”

He goes to throw a punch at you which you quickly dodge and grab his wrist, twisting it until it snaps.

“Oooh thats gotta hurt.” you mock in false sympathy as he drops to floor clutching his hand.

“I’m sorry baby, here let me fix it for you.” you grab his wrist and pull it, making him whine in pain. “Are you going to behave Soobin?” 

“Yes, yes please just fix it” he whimpers.

You snap his wrist back in place making it instantly stop hurting, hearing him sigh out a breath of relief. “Go sit back down and shut up.” He stands up and sits on the couch, furthest away from you.

“Kai, sweetie, come here.”

He sheepishly stands up and walks over to you with his head hanging. You put your hand on his chin and raise his head to make him look you in the eye. 

“Give me your phone kai.”

“You promise not to get us killed?” he pouts.

“Yes, sweetie, I pinky promise.”

He gives you his phone and you call Hoshi.

“Babe, I need you to come here. Track the address and come by yourself you won’t need any backup.”

“Y/N what's going on? Why would I come by myself?”

“Soonie, I have everything under control, I promise just come.” 

“Babe-”

“Hoshi, just come here jeez.”

“Ok babe I’ll be there.”

You hand your phone back to Kai and smile at him. “Can you get me some rope, Kai.” you say and drag your fingers up his arm making him blush.

“Kai, don’t.” Taehyun says.

“Go get it for me baby” you say and walk over to Beomgyu grabbing his hair. 

“I’m sorry about this by the way.” you say and softly touch his face making him flinch.  

“I’ll make it up to you I promise.”

“How? I’ll make you feel really good love, I promise.”

Kai comes back with the rope and you tie them up one by one with little complaints. You make sure to be careful with Soobins wrist, not wanting to hurt him more. You tell them to go sit in the corner and be quiet making taehyun stay on the couch. 

“Gyu, why did you want to hurt me?” you say caressing his face.

You see his eyes dilate in real time. “Oh you’re enjoying this?”

“No.”

You straddle him and he groans, his hips bucking up into you. 

“What do you want me to do to you Gyu?”

He groans and you feel him throb under you. “Whatever you want Y/N.” 

“Whatever I want?” you say with a malicious smile.

“Well, I think I’m gonna punish you. Do you think you deserve a punishment?” 

“Yes.”

“I’m glad you agree.” You unbutton his pants and pull his boxers down, pulling him out. He’s much bigger than you anticipated, his dick was almost completely hard and throbbing. You spit directly on his tip and make his moan out, pulling at his restraints. You climb off him and round the couch so you're both facing the boys, draping your hands over his shoulders and beginning to stroke him. The other boys are staring hard at the two of you, all with dents in their pants. Yeonjun is biting his plump lips with furrowed eyebrows and Kai has the cutest blush on his face.

“Gyu, you feel so good in my hands. So big and thick you would stretch me out so nicely.”

“God, I wanna fuck you so bad.”

“Only good boys get to fuck me baby.” you speed up your pace and tighten your grip making him buck his hips wildly. His moans fill up the warehouse and the other boys start shifting around trying to loosen the ropes.

“Yeonjun come here and rub Gyu for me and if he cums I won't let you cum.”

He groans but gets up and you re-tie his restraints so his hands are in front of his body.

He spits in his hands and strokes Beomgyu watching you walk up to Soobin.

“I don’t think you deserve anything. You’ve been so bad to me soobin.” you say as you rub him through his pants.

“I’m sorry, please, please, please.”

“Hmm, I don’t think so.” you say and turn to Taehyun who's looking at you with wide eyes.

“Taehyun come with me.” You sit on the couch and spread your legs. You pull down your pants and pull his face into your clothed core and he starts lapping at you. He rubs his face back and forth into you, his nose bumping your clit.

“Take my panties off honey.”

He pulls your underwear band with his teeth and lets it snap back on your skin. You smile at him and pick up the gun next to you pointing it at his head. 

“Don't play games honey.”

He immediately pulls your panties down and dives in. He sucks and licks, devouring you. You look over to Beomgyu and Yeonjun seeing both staring straight at your pussy; soobin and Kai doing the same.  You run your hands through Beomgyus' hair, stroking his scalp. 

“You wanna cum so bad don’t you?”

“Yes, please let me cum Y/N, I’m so sorry”  

Seeing him look so helpless and pathetic makes you want to get up and fuck him but thats not what this is about. This is a punishment. 

“Yeonjun stop.” They both groan but Yeonjun stops stroking him. 

“I want you to switch. Gyu, you stroke junnie nice and slow for me ok?”

“Ok” he says, taking a deep breath.

You pull Taehyun deeper into you and he sticks his tongue into you, thrusting in and out. 

“Just like that honey, I want you to make me cum just like this.”

He moans into you,the vibration pulling you closer to the edge. You look up straight into Soobins eyes, giving him a smirk. 

“Don’t you just wish you behaved?”

He hangs his head and doesn’t answer you. 

Taehyun sucks hard on your clit and you’re thrown over the edge, moaning loudly making everyone groan. You pull Taehyun’s head back and catch your breath. You call Kai over and push Taehyun to the side. They don’t get to cum. “You three go back and sit by Soobin. Kai, sweety, take a seat for me Ok?”

 “My only good boy hmm?”

“Yes”

“Yes, who?” you say as you unbuckle his belt.

“Yes, mommy.” 

“There we go baby.”

You pull him out and lick a long stripe up his shaft. He whimpers and bucks his hips into your mouth.

“I’m sorry mommy, I couldn’t help it.”

“It’s ok sweet boy.” you say and take his whole length in your mouth. Hoshi’s trained you to take his whole cock in one go, since Kai is slightly smaller it’s not an issue for you. You use your hand to rub his dick as you suck on his tip. You keep sucking until he’s whimpering and on the verge of tears.

“Baby?” you hear Hoshi’s voice echo through the warehouse.

“Perfect” you whisper and pull off Kai with a pop.

You walk outside to see a very apprehensive Hoshi looking around. 

“Hi, baby” you smile and give him a sweet smile.

“Why is there blood on your face? I’m gonna kill these motherfuckers.” 

“Soonyoung, calm down. I’m already punishing them come look.”

You pull Hoshi into the room and he see’s five boys all with their hard dicks out looking humiliated. 

“So you’re the punks that took my girl?”

They all hang their heads in shame. 

“What a pathetic scene.” he says as he walks further into the room.

“Baby, you should've just killed them, because if you don’t I will.”

“Soonie dont kill them. They're just trying to make a name for themselves.”

“They're not doing shit, especially not using my girl.”

“We already used your girl. Quite the slut you’ve got on your hands.” Soobin says with a smile.

You immediately run in front of Hoshi, knowing he was two seconds from killing Soobin. 

“He’s just a kid babe, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“Why are you defending him?”

“I feel sorry for him.”

He gives you a dark look.

“Y/N, get on your knees.”

You immediately listen and drop to your knees looking up at him. He looks at Soobin, “I’ll show you how to really use a slut like her.”

You unzip his pants and pull out his cock spitting in your hand. Hoshi likes it beyond messy, he likes to see tears run down your face while you’re struggling to breathe. He pushes you all the way down his shaft, your nose on his pelvis. He starts to fuck your throat like he would your pussy. Your throat burns and you can’t breathe,your eyes start to flutter. He pulls out and slaps you, pulling your hair. 

“You can’t go two days without some dick? You resort to playing with punks like this”

“I’m sorry daddy. Maybe if you found me sooner I wouldn’t need to” you say with a smile. 

The five boys' eyes widen at you calling him daddy. Big bad dom Y/N is suddenly calling Hoshi daddy?

You’ve really riled Hoshi up now, he pulls you up and throws you over the couch so you're facing the boys.

“Watch real good, I’ll show you how to put those pathetic dicks to use.” he says as he slides in, not giving you time to adjust as he starts ruthlessly thrusting into you. He gathers your hair into his hands and pulls your head up so you have to look at all the boys. 

“Tell them how it feels baby.”

“It feels so good daddy, don’t stop.”

His thrust somehow deepens and gets harder, your whole body shaking. 

“Daddy, can I cum?”

“No, you don’t deserve it baby. You barely deserve me fucking you.”

“Daddy, please I need it so bad.”

“No.”

He puts your leg up on the couch and thrust impossibly deep, hitting your g spot everytime making you groan.

“Shit this pussy is always so nice and tight. I bet you wish you could feel, huh Soobin?” hoshi taunts.

“Fuck you” Soobin spits making hoshi laugh.

He feels you squeezing the life out of him, a clear sign you're about to cum. “Don’t you think about it baby.” he says, making you groan as he pulls out. He pushes you to your knees and cums on your face with  a groan. 

You look up at him with his cum covering your face and smiles. “So pretty like this, baby.” making you smile along with him.

He pulls his pants up and walks over to the boys bending down to Soobin. “Don’t think about trying some shit like this again. I’m not as nice as my dear Y/n, I’ll fucking kill your bitchass.”

“Let's go baby.”

#seventeen smut #svt smut #hoshi smut #hoshi fanfic #txt smut #txt fanfic #soobin smut #huening kai smut #yeonjun smut #taehyun smut #beomgyu smut #mafia au

[nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius]

TBB Incorrect Quotes, Part 1

Crosshair: *closes a cabinet*  *a crash is heard behind the cabinet door*  Omega: What was that?  Crosshair: The sound of someone else's problem. 

Crosshair: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.  Echo: I witnessed the dumb stuff.  Tech: I recorded the dumb stuff.  Wrecker: I joined you in the dumb stuff.  Hunter: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF! 

Omega: Who the fuck-  Echo: Language!  Omega: Whom the fuck-  Echo: No.

Wrecker: Where are your parents?  Omega: What are parents?  Wrecker: That’s just about the saddest thing I ever heard get said. 

Echo: Never gonna make you cry! Wrecker: Never gonna say goodbye! Echo: Never gonna tell a lie— Crosshair: I will hurt you.

Hunter: Where’s Crosshair?  Tech: Doing stuff.  Hunter: I don’t like the sound of that. Where’s Echo?  Tech: Trying to stop Crosshair from doing the stuff.  Hunter: And Wrecker?  Tech: Trying to stop Echo from stopping Crosshair from doing the stuff.  Hunter: I see. And what are you doing here, Tech?  Tech: I’m supposed to stop you from stopping Wrecker from stopping Echo from stopping Crosshair from doing the stuff.

Hunter: Do crabs think people walk sideways?  Crosshair: ...Hunter, what the hell.

Echo: Are you trying to give me a fucking aneurysm?

Hunter: Pretty sure we all are.

Omega: I wasn't.

Wrecker: I was.

Tech: I was trying to stop them, for your consideration.

Crosshair: I just cause aneurysms naturally.

Omega: Can we go to a haunted house?  Crosshair: What’s wrong with the one we live in?  Omega: Wh-what?  Crosshair: Goodnight, Omega.

Hunter: Let's just agree to both say we're sorry on the count of three.  Hunter: One... two... three.  Crosshair: ...  Hunter: ...  Hunter: See, now I'm just disappointed in both of us.

Omega: Many people are mildly dehydrated and don’t realize it. You should drink at least six glasses of water per day.

Hunter: No, eight glasses!

Wrecker: I heard ten.

Crosshair: You need to drink at least five glasses of water per minute.

later…

Tech: Okay, I just read through every study I could find to try to figure out whether low-grade dehydration is even a real thing.

Omega: What did you learn?

Tech: If you spend all day doing research and forget to eat or drink, you start to feel pretty bad.

Hunter: I’ll get some water.

Tech: But how many glas–whoa, feeling dizzy.

Echo: Maybe you should just drink straight from the tap.

Tech: Hunter, we tried things your way.  Hunter: No, we didn't.  Tech: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

*Comments under an image of a really hot knife cutting bread*  Hunter: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.  Tech: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful.  Crosshair: if you want information it is  Omega: why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?

Tech: Can you pass the salt?  Crosshair: Can you pass away?  Tech: Too much salt.

Echo: That’s the key slice of truth we need to complete the entire truth pie.  Wrecker: Ooh, can we get some actual pie?  Echo: I like the way you think.

Hunter: I feel like Wrecker is looking down on me.  Crosshair: That’s because he’s on the counter and you’re short. 

*The Squad is playing Chess*  Tech: *easily beats everyone because they know how to play*  Echo: *doesn’t know the rules, but wins anyway*  Hunter: *doesn’t know the rules, and loses*  Wrecker: *knows the rules, but still loses to those who don’t*  Crosshair: Actually, you can’t do that, because I said so.  Omega: They named a board game after cheese? 

Echo: I'll offer you some friendly advice-  Crosshair: I don't want your advice.  Echo: Well, then consider it unfriendly advice.

Hunter, skipping rocks on a lake with Wrecker: It’s such a beautiful evening.  Wrecker: Yeah, it is.  Wrecker: *whispering* Take that you fucking lake. 

Echo: So I’m the only one around here who can clean up, huh? You can't even lift a finger?  Crosshair: Do I get to pick the finger? 

Hunter: Fun Fact! The average person will walk by 36 murderers in their lifetime.  Crosshair: I like how this is a "fun" fact.  Tech: It's fun because they didn't decide to murder you. 

Tech: I just watched Crosshair jump off of a spinning chair. Luckily, he wasn’t hurt that badly. But the whole time, Wrecker was screaming for help, which caused Hunter to run in to help Crosshair. Just note that all of this happened in the span of six minutes. 

*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one*  Omega: I will not let you down.  Wrecker: Sounds fun.  Crosshair: K.  Echo: No, I'm fucking not.  Hunter: Do I have to be?  Tech: Please god, I am so tired. 

Hunter: I’m the smartest, wisest person in this group.  Echo: Really? Then why is your hand stuck in a vending machine?  Hunter: I paid for my Mars Bar, I’m getting my Mars Bar. 

Echo: I wish I was a cat, but not in a furry kinda way, more like a “I can sleep all day and hit people with no consequences” kinda way. 

Wrecker: *walking around disappointed after visiting an aquarium*  Tech: Wrecker, what did you think a tiger shark was? 

Tech, to Omega: If you see Wrecker, give him this message *makes a neutral face*  Tech: He’ll know what it means.  *later*  Omega: oh, and Tech said to give you a message.  Omega: *makes a neutral face*  Wrecker: Oh no. The neutral face of displeasure. 

Crosshair: What do you guys do when you're stressed?  Omega: Try and calm myself down!  Echo: Sleep.  Hunter: Get myself into even more stress, so that the first reason for my stress gets cancelled out.  Tech: I don't. 

Hunter: I am convinced Crosshair and Wrecker share a brain cell.  Echo: And it's not in use very often, it seems.

Wrecker: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL-  Echo: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!

Rex, walking into his house: Hello, people who do not live here.  Hunter: Hey.  Wrecker: Hi.  Tech: Hello.  Omega: Hey!  Rex: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!  Echo: We were out of Doritos. 

#the bad batch #incorrect bad batch quotes #incorrect quotes #star wars #yes they’re all together shhhhh

[dbnightingale24]

A Dream Worth Chasing

Sneak Peek

~~

Laurie’s P.O.V.

“Andy, can you stop packing for five fucking minutes?!” I sob as he continues to load his clothes into his duffle bag.

“Laurie, I’ve told you multiple times that I’m done, and you won’t fucking hear it. I don’t know what else to do,” he shrugs, a look of pure indifference on his face.

“Andy-”

“You’re the one that cheated. Without saying it out loud, you decided that you don’t want this anymore. You don’t want us. So, I’m moving on. I’ve moved on!”

“Andy, no. You think you’ve moved on, but you’re just-”

“Laurie, I don’t love you. I have no desire to work this out, and I never will again. Please, just let it go and sign the goddamn papers!”

“You just need time,” I sob as he throws up his hands and scowls.

That’s what he used to say to me all the time, and it always worked like a charm; he could always bring me back. However, now? It seems like a lie. I’ve been using the same line for practically a year, and for what? The more I say it, the less he wants me.

Maybe that’s difference. He was fighting for someone who he truly loved, and somewhere deep inside, I loved him back. Now? I’ve pushed him away so much that he truly is finished with all of this, but now I finally wanna come back.

I finally see what’s worth fighting for.

“Where are you even living now?”

“It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I’m gone for good, and you need to sign the damn papers.”

“You don’t need to be so cold!”

“That seems to be the only way that you’ll respond,” he huffs before closing his bag. “Laurie, at one point, we were lovers and best friends. We have Jacob. I don’t want this to get ugly, so please don’t let it get to that point. He’s moving out, we both know he’s gonna propose to Sarah sooner or later, and you and I both know that we’ve run our course. You can have the house, the cars, you can paint me as the bad guy. I truly don’t care. Please, just let me go.”

“Andy, please, lets just go away-”

“I don’t want to go away!” he finally snaps, causing me to jump just a bit.

Hes never been this way with me.

“Laurie,” he sighs dropping his bag, clearly frustrated and worn out “don’t make me be this guy. The angry husband who has to be an asshole. I don’t want to hurt you, I don’t want to upset you, and I don’t want either of us to hate each other. After all is said and done, I still want us to at least be able to have some sort of healthy relationship. It doesn’t have to be something fueled by hate and anger, it can be amicable. I don’t hate you, Laurie, I just don’t love you anymore,” he sighs before picking up his bag. “Think about it, I’ll see you in a few days.”

As he walks away I can’t help but think back to college. Was this all my fault? He never pursued me, I always wanted him.

He never looked for me, I always looked for him.

“You came!” I beamed as the handsome brunette came walking into my dorm room.

“You made it sound like I’d be missing out on something big if I show up,” he chuckled with a bright smile.

I’d been daydreaming about the smile since I first saw it two weeks ago in the campus library.

“You didn’t bring anyone?” I asked, hopeful that I wasn’t about to make myself look like a complete fool.

“No one to bring. I spend most of my time studying or working. That’s why I decided maybe it would be nice to go to a party. Thanks for invitin’ me.”

“Thanks for showing up,” I replied, and I could tell my cheeks were burning red.

From that day on, I looked for him, I waited for him, and I tried to come up with any reason to talk to him, until he finally asked me out. At first, it was exciting and I was enamored with you. Then, after about five months, I started to get lazy and he took notice. It’s not even that I stopped loving him, but I realized I wanted to be young and experience college as a single woman. Neither of us said a thing about it, but I could tell he knew and that I’d hurt him.

Then I started seeing him hanging around with some girl and it made my blood boil.

He was mine.

So, I showed up at his dorm one day and when he opened the door, I practically pounced on him, and of course he didn’t say no. Of course, my little impulsive act ended up with me pregnant, and he was a saint about it. Why wouldn’t he be?

Andy is the sweetest soul on earth; he always has been.

Everything was perfect for a while. Even with school being as demanding as it was, Andy was a loving and doting father. I wasn’t surprised that he proposed, and I was more than happy to say yes. I wanted nothing more than to devote myself to him forever.

For a while, it was perfect. We had the perfect life. Sure, I looked at other men sometimes, just wondering what it would be like to have the freedom to do whatever I wanted, but I never acted on anything. I had a good life, why mess it up?

Then, Jacob’s trial.

Even after everything that happened; the arguments, the trial, the sleeping in separate rooms...the accident...he still treated me like I was the center of his universe, and loved me unconditionally.

But I felt betrayed.

How could he not tell me about his father? Yeah, it’s his life and he’s allowed his secrets, but I’m his wife! So, after all was said and done, even with him being as amazing as he was, I still cheated. I cheated because I wanted him to feel as betrayed as I did. I seduced his best friend, best man at our wedding, and fucked him in the backseat of our car. It should’ve been quick and dirty, but I fucked up and let it turn into something that it should’ve never been.

It was nice to feel like I was a priority, to feel beautiful, and just get away from the weight that now comes with being a Barber. The flowers, gifts, then sneaking...it all felt new and exciting. I felt young again.

Andy started to notice of how distant I was becoming and offered to take me  on a trip, or pay for me to go on my own trip, and that’s when the guilt set in. I was out being the world’s worst wife, and he was still trying to take care of me. So, I broke off the relationship and came clean to Andy.

He didn’t even say a word, and to be honest, he didn’t need to. The look in his eyes told me everything. I had crushed him and instantly felt terrible. I was so ready for him to demand a divorce, and a small part of me wanted him to, but he just stormed out and spent the rest of the night driving around. Of course, Andy being the amazing man he is, came back in the morning and told me he loved me and wanted to work it out.

That should’ve been enough for me and I should’ve been happy, but of course I wasn’t. I dug my nails in and did my best to make sure that no one would ever be able to steal him from me, including making sure he never met Y/N. Of course, I’m the one that made the mess, and it was obvious that she’d done nothing wrong, but still. Enough people talk and word gets around. It was irrational, mean, and dumb, but I wasn’t going to take any chances.

All my hard work and it did nothing.

Yeah, I messed everything up out of pure fear and jealousy, but it was nowhere near as bad as the last time. I knew it pushed him to his wits end, but it’s something I know we can make our way back from it.

But now? After that dinner for Jacob and Sarah?

God, the way he looked at her that night? Is she the one he’s in love with? No, she can’t be. It’s just not possible. He wouldn’t do that to Jacob, and she’s so damn young. 24? 25? He’d never go for someone her age.

No, whoever has his attention...I can fix it. I can make it right and do better this time. I know it took me forever to realize it, but I truly do love Andy, and I’ll do anything I can to prove that to him.

I can fix this.

~~

taglist: @fuckingbye, @maroonsunrise83, @whxre4cevans, @autumnrose40, @greeneyedblondie44, @whiskeytangofoxtrot555, @pono-pura-vida, @nomadstucky, @companionjones, @yiiiikesmish, @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters, @liecastillo, 

#Defending Jacob #defending jacob fanfiction #defending jacob smut #defending jacob fanfic #Andy Barber smut #andy barber fic #andy barber #andy barber x reader #andy barber x y/n #chris evans characters #fanfiction #fan fiction #fanfic #fan fic

[fanficfanattic]

Apples or poison or Tooting (and if none of these work, head). Please and thank you.

There wasn’t any toots or tooting. But!

🍎apples AND ☠️ poison were both in the same fic, so you get from the intro of the one to the outro of the other.

In this fic, Ted does go into the treatment room:

“I don’t even know what me favorite fucking fruit is, cause ten years ago he said some shit about only being allowed to eat apples. No reason given. Just the right shade of drunk that I couldn’t know if he’d remember it or not. And its not like he could tell what we ate at academy. Or in me own home once I had one.

But I still only eat fucking apples. Tried them all, I think. Can tell you which are favorites from that. Granny Smiths are not for me.”

He’d edged back from the rage in his voice when talking about his father. But that just meant he returned to ridiculing himself.

“Like I said, no reason to listen to a word he says. Particularly since I don’t much agree with ‘im bout anything. Once I started though, I’ve just never, never managed to stop.

‘Don’t pass, be the star, caring ‘bout people will hold ye back’.

It jus…he was happier with me when I did what he said, and happier meant a lot less hurting.

But it’s just…it’s just putting that hurt onto someone else? Isn’t it, Keeley?”

And she didn’t want to confirm it, because he was hurting right now and she still cared about him. Loved him in a way she could only do for him. But this is what she’d tried to tell him months ago. And it was the truth. So.

“Yeah, Jamie, that is what it is. I’m not gonna lie to you. But seeing that? Its good, its important.”

“I don’ wanna be like him. I don’t! I wanna be more like I were before all his stupid fucking rules. Fuck. Fuck me.”

“No! No, you’re not. Like him. You’ve done things he wanted you to do, that weren’t good to do. But you said 15 years, Jamie. You were a kid. And I’ve seen you at benefits and signings. You’re so fucking good with kids, babe. You’d never hurt one. Not ever.

And that’s because…people who abuse their family, it’s about control. But you aren’t fucked in the head enough to take that out on someone truly helpless. Even when you turned that hurt on to someone else. You were just trying to find a way for you to have some control back.”

“Not an excuse though.”

“No. But it’s a reason. Oh god, that’s the reason you never wanted me to come round when he was down?”

“Course. I wouldn’ta let him fucking near you, Keels. I don’t let him fucking near anyone, if I can help it. He can’t hospitalize mates if you stop having them.”

“…what? What did you just say, Jamie.”

His face had the dawning horror of someone who realized they’d said too much. Admitted to something they couldn’t take back. And she didn’t know if he was upset that he’d revealed he didn’t have friends. Or that his dad had spread his control out over so many more people.

“Hey, no, don’t need to answer that. God Jamie, I’m so sorry he ever showed back up in your life. Even at my most pissed at you, I’ve never wished anything bad on you.”

“It’s okay, Keels. I know. You’re dead brill. Best thing ever happened to me, honest, and I know I’m lucky we’re still…friends, yeah?”

“Of course, Jamie. We are friends. I don’t let any of my other exes come over to talk or crash my dates with Roy.”

And he honest to god let out the tiniest laugh at that. Just as quickly the quirk of his lips flattened out. He slumped back against the wall, energy fatigued, and went back to looking at the wall.

“Hey, you’re gonna be okay, babe. We’ll get it sorted, yeah?”

“You don’t have to help me sort shit, Keeley. Thanks though. I’m just so tired of it. Of being scared rather than a grown man. All I’ve ever wanted to do was play football, and it’s like he’s turned it into poison. He turns everything to it, sooner or later.”

There wasn’t anything to say to that, though, so she just put her hand back on his shoulder. He’d rested his own hand over hers, for barely a second, when he heard footsteps approaching the door. Heard them before anyone else did. These stood out, loud ones with anger in them he could tell, a skill developed from a childhood of listening for drunken footsteps as a warning system.

His reflexes, trained to be quicker and then quicker still, meant Jamie was already moving as the door slammed open. He pushed off the wall so he was on his knees, upright as possible, putting himself between Keeley and the door.

It wasn’t his father. It wasn’t his fucking da, just Ted and Beard, but his breathing was already sped up anyway. He barely felt Keeley put her hand back on his shoulder, but heard her say softly from behind him, “Hey, Ted.”

“Hey there, Keeley.” Ted responded to her first. Before turning to him. And an angry Ted had only ever yelled at him before, never once tried to hit him. But he hadn’t yelled at anyone else at all, and Jamie was used to being the exception to a lot of people’s rules. He couldn’t get his breathing under control. And he knew Keeley could tell. But she wasn’t scared of Ted. She’d told him that he could trust ‘em.

“Hey, kiddo. Good thinking sending Coach out to help. But I told you to get to the treatment room-”

“Oh. Fuck. Sorry. I didn’t…wasn’t tryin to-“

“Oh, hey, hey, it’s okay, Jamie. I’m not mad at you. I wasn’t trying to keep you from the team. But you’ve got to get checked for a concussion and we need to see if anythings broken.”

“What?”

“Think your nose bone might be broken, son.”

“Its not. Been broke before so I know how it feels. And it ain’t bone, the nose.”

“Well that’s true, it’s cartilage. But all the same I want a team doc to check you over. Can you do that for me?”

“I don’t understand you.”

“Your hear-“

“No, not that. It’s…you and Dani and Sam? You all just…I thought it were an act, yeah? You caring, and shit, bout everyone. Let alone me. Cause that’s not…that’s not how people are.”

And Lasso made a choked off sound, but didn’t interrupt, so he kept going. All this poison sitting under his skin, like he’d just told Keeley about? Had all this venom pouring out his mouth now. Was he purging it? Or using it as a defense. As an offense?

“I could easy spend a hundred years next to a Roy Kent. Know how to absorb anger, or let it fall off, know how to survive it. I don’t have any fucking idea what to do with…with…with niceness!”

“Surely people have been nice to you before, Jamie?”

“Plenty of folks. That all want something of you or from you. Sam a mentor. You a more biddable player.

Keeley’s the only new person I’ve trusted in…years.” She just started lightly rubbing the shoulder she’d been touching, didn’t pause or stumble.

“Cause she said exactly what she was willing to give and what she wanted in return. No tricks.

And she said…”

Ted’s eyes moved to hers, quick and fathomless, before focusing back on Jamie. He realized with an almost start that the boy was trembling. He wanted to put a hand on his other shoulder or pull him into a hug. But the sudden movement, with all this adrenaline and the obvious now, so stupid Ted, the PTSD he had…now wasn’t the time.

“What’d she say, Jamie?”

“That you weren’t playing games with me head. You meant it.”

“I did. I do. I care a lot about you, Jamie.”

“Why’d you send me away, then? Once I started finally listening to you?”

#jamie tartt #keeley jones #roy kent #ted lasso #afc richmond players #coach beard #willis beard #james tartt sr #abuse of an adult child #physical abuse

[set-phasers-to-whump]

Day 18: Ache

whumpee: sonny carisi

fandom: law and order svu

hi! this fic is for @pauletteandrea28 i am so sorry it took like four months but i hope you enjoy it!!! it's set around s17 but nothing specific.

He aches. He’d thought, yesterday, afterwards, that he’d be fine. A little bruised, maybe. Nothing more. But now he’s sitting at his desk, looking into a construction company that’s looking more and more like a front for sex trafficking, and he feels like he can barely breathe. 

He’s angry with himself for letting it happen. He’d been stupid. Chasing a highly dangerous man down a back alley with no backup, not even a call to his team to let them know what he was doing. 

He’d paid for it - a dumpster shoved his way out of nowhere, pinning him to a brick wall, knocking all the air out of his lungs and sitting against him, heavy on his chest. 

Their man had gotten away, obviously. Because of him. By the time he’d freed himself from his rusty metal prison, the guy was nowhere to be seen. And Sonny had had to tell his team that he had lost their perp. 

He hadn’t told them about the dumpster, of course. It’s bad enough to be responsible for a dangerous man still being on the streets. He doesn’t need the extra embarrassment. 

“Carisi! You coming?” 

He looks up from his computer at the sound of Rollins’ voice. She, Fin, and Liv are standing by the elevator, and it’s clear he’s missed something. 

Not that he’s going to let them know. 

“Comin’,” he says, and stands up. His chest twinges, and he forces himself not to grimace, to just breathe (never mind that that hurts, too). He’s gonna have to go to the ER after work tonight. He’s pretty sure his ribs are bruised, if not broken. 

“Are you alright, Carisi?” This is Liv, as they’re getting into the elevator. Maybe he hadn’t done as good a job of hiding his reaction as he’d thought. 

Fin saves him. “Course he’s alright.” He puts up his hands like a boxer, throws a playful fake punch at Sonny’s chest. It barely even connects, but it hurts. 

He hisses in a breath, which hurts too. He bites his lip, stifles a groan, closes his eyes when they start to water. 

“Hey.” Fin’s voice is still playful, but it’s careful too. “What’s wrong with you?”

Sonny opens his eyes, blinks a few times. God, it hurts. He doesn’t want to be here. He doesn’t want them to know. 

He feels his face heat up, the way it does when he’s embarrassed or upset. He’s both now, and he hates it. 

Rollins’ hand is on his arm. “C’mon, look at me. What’s wrong?”

He opens his mouth to say something but the words won’t come. The sharp pain is receding, turning into a more pronounced version of the ache that’s been enveloping his chest since yesterday.

It’s not even that bad. But it still fucking hurts. 

“Are you hurt?” This is Liv. The elevator has stopped, but no one moves. 

Sonny can’t bring himself to lie to her, but he doesn’t want to tell the truth either. He settles for a shrug, for stepping off of the elevator. 

The three others follow, naturally. They don’t let him get out of the front door, shepherding him to a relatively secluded part of the lobby and then pouncing on him. 

“You need to tell us what’s going on, right now.” Rollins is all business, but there’s concern underneath. He doesn’t deserve it. Not for this. 

“I’m fine.” He is, relatively speaking. It’s not a complete lie. It’s not like he’s bleeding. It’s not like he’s concussed. He can still do the job. He just wishes it didn’t hurt so much. 

“You’re not.” Fin says it like fact. 

Sonny hates that he’s right. 

“It’s nothin’, really. No reason to be concerned.”

“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that,” Liv says. “What happened?” The question is gentle, but firm. 

There’s no getting out of it now. 

“Yesterday, when…when I let that guy get away. He shoved a dumpster at me, got me in the chest. Stupid, I know.” He says it quickly, not quite meeting her eyes. 

“Not your fault,” Fin says. “Busted ribs?”

Sonny shrugs, which hurts. “I dunno. Maybe.”

“How bad’s the bruising?” Rollins asks. 

It had been bad enough this morning, a harsh line of purple across his entire chest and scattered splotches beneath that. “It’s not so bad,” he says, because it definitely could be worse. 

“Can I take a look?” Liv asks. He knows she wouldn’t press if he said no, but he isn’t going to deny her request. Anyway, they’re not angry with him. And none of them had laughed when he’d told them what happened. They’re not looking at him weird. They’re just worried. He can deal with that, even if it’s not something he really deserves. 

“Yeah, okay.” He turns his back to the rest of the room, tosses his tie over his shoulder, untucks and lifts up his shirt to reveal the bruising. 

“Jesus,” Rollins says, and Sonny looks down. His view is slightly hampered by his shirt and hands, but - it’s pretty bad. The bruising has darkened and spread since this morning. Seeing it makes the ache in his chest redouble, and he quickly releases his shirt, tucking it back in. 

“You’re going to the ER,” says Liv. 

“I will.”

“Now.”

“I can go after -”

“You’re going now.”

“But -”

Liv shakes her head, cutting him off. “No buts, Carisi. Go now. Take care of yourself.”

She’s firm, but she’s not mad. He doesn’t have a reason to say no, beyond his own stubbornness and sense of pride. 

And so he gives in. “Alright, alright, I’m going.” He raises his hands in mock surrender (which, like every other action, hurts) and goes outside to catch a cab to the nearest emergency room.

thanks for reading! the ending is a bit wonky but that is par for the course by now. hope you liked it!

#whumpmasinjuly2023 #wij23day18 #ache #law and order svu #sonny carisi #broken ribs #hidden injury #my writing #i say things #once again sorry this took so so long but i hope it's alright! #anyways in things that happened to me today: #at work i told a lady to have a nice day as she was leaving and she very politely responded 'no thank you' #i assume she thought i was asking if she wanted a bag or sth #but it was very funny #and tomorrow i have my first day off in 11 days!!! can't wait to do nothing :)

[herosway]

▴ — @nihlkahn ;; Link & Fora. ❛  i know you feel like giving up right now, but it's not gonna solve any of these problems. ❜

   “Giving up seems like a really great idea right now, and I think I’m going to do it anyway.” Link stated, squeezing the green cap in his hands as he tries to wring the water from it. Today had started bad and then just continued to accelerate on him. Waking with a panic attack, his breakfast catching on fire, being attacked out of nowhere and then falling onto a chuchu as it exploded and soaked him in its gross weird guts–Link is very much done with functioning today. And he’s fairly certain it’s only noon.

   He hasn’t eaten, he hasn’t made it out of their camp, he hasn’t done anything other than walk to the nearest spring to try and wash his clothes from the guck he had fallen into. So he’s standing, freezing cold and naked, in the middle of a river trying to wash himself clean of chuchu guts. Which is not how anyone wants to spend their morning, and Fora is telling him to just keep going it’ll work itself out. More or less, not his exact words but they’re how Link is taking them right now. 

   And he does not want to do that. 

   Link has learned that when the day starts shitting on you, it’s best to lie down and just take it. When the Goddesses want to fuck you, they’re going to fuck you and he would much rather be fucked in what he knows is a somewhat safe place. They’ve had this camp for a couple days, and this is the first incident. It might have come in spades, but he can hold his ground here if shit starts getting worse. 

   He’s so incredibly stressed too, and Link knows himself well enough to know if they start wandering around recklessly? He’ll do something stupid and he’ll get himself hurt. He’d rather stay, right here, naked or not and wait for things to work themselves out. Maybe tomorrow will be better, he can risk going hunting and finding food or moving camps then. At that point his clothes should be dried too, not that he doesn’t have other tunics and trousers to wear, but that’s not the point. 

   He squeezes the green cap again, shakes the water out of it and drapes it over his shoulder as he grabs his tunic to wash it next. “Just give up, Fora.”

#▴ — (inbox) answered. #lunarisdeus

[silentsockfeet]

tlou hbo s1 ep9 thoughts (w spoilers)

really did love the scene we got with anna i’m just upset that we didn’t get more!! it’s so symbolic to have ashley play ellie’s mother and that moment felt cheapened by the fact that we still know so little about her. why not get to know her, watch her life and how the outbreak impacted her, see more of her relationship w marlene so that when the moment comes where she has to die we know just how much that hurts! there is so much more they could’ve done and i’m mad that they chose to rush through it

okay i’ll stop the rant and talk about what i liked about it now. really loved how much of that classic ellie attitude shines through in anna’s lines, the spunk was inherited i guess. and i really love that you can tell just how much love ashley poured into anna and therefore anna pours into ellie, she is so careful with her and insistent with marlene about taking care of her. ellie was so so loved from the beginning and it is so evident in everything anna does

especially loved how insistent anna was about telling marlene she cut cord before she was bit. it was a flat out lie but she was so intense about it that i almost believed her for a sec despite having just watched the scene. she is so strongly protective of ellie

joel’s goofy dad side really came out this episode every little moment is just him trying to get a smile out of ellie. the line with the dynamite really cracked me up he’s tryin so hard

watching ellie drop the ladder i was sitting there screaming at joel like GET OUT THE WAY ur about to get conked by a ladder!!! lol

giraffe scene my beloved ❤️ that’s all i just love it

“i’ll follow you anywhere you go” thanks i’m but a broken shell of a human!! and when we get dina’s ‘you go i go’ parallel next season i may actually pass away

joel’s admission about trying to kill himself,, it surprised me at first but hoo boy that hit. i like that it almost felt as if he HAD to tell ellie, like it clawed it’s way out of him. it’s his time to finally admit out loud how much losing sarah hurt, but also how much ellie means to him. and seeing them letting themselves be so vulnerable with each other made my heart ache

we got the apocalypse joke so actually this is the best show ever it did nothing wrong

UGH joel storming the hospital while a deep slow orchestral version of the theme plays fUCK ME UPPP gustavo always delivers

laura bailey as one of the nurses 👀 i’m wondering if they’re gonna have her play a bigger character in s2 and give her some connection to abby

i am a bit sad that they didn’t have the whole chase sequence with joel carrying ellie out of the hospital. i get that it probably works better in the game but idk i think they could’ve gotten it to work. that scene is just so loaded bc it’s like you have her and you’re almost there and the tension and fear is so high that when you escape all you feel is relief and happiness that you saved ellie. would’ve liked to have seen that translated into the show

the extra little bits of joel’s lie were fun, especially when ellie asks if marlene was okay. i almost feel like in the game ellie could sort of write off the lie easier bc it was a generalized thing? but since joel adds the extra details here and specifically sort of half lies about marlene for some reason to me it feels even more painful. idk did a bad job of explaining that but yeah i really liked the additions

i know i’ve complained about how they’ve been using pt2’s score for this first season so much but playing ‘unbroken’ after joel lies to ellie is like smart but also so mean. like i’m already dead on the ground you didn’t have to drive the knife deeper

“i’m not saying that you’re not girly-“ “i’m not” i fuckin love ellie so much. gonna get serious for a sec but ellie being super masc is one of the reasons i fell in love with her when i first played the game bc i felt so seen by it and idk just hearing it addressed so directly just made me happy

also loved the fact that joel basically called ellie short. bella said short king rights ig

also also i just loved that whole sequence in general, joel just wants to make sure that ellie knows that she’s not some replacement or that joel doesn’t view her as sarah but as her own person and he’s a dork about it but it was so heartfelt

okay so. i’m not happy that they confirmed ellie kills riley tbh. i was never a fan of that idea in general bc it didn’t feel right to me. and even despite my own personal opinions about how i think ellie leaves riley i think there’s something to be said about having ambiguity around it. leaving it open let’s people form their own thoughts and feelings about it, it engages them and makes the story feel more personal, so confirming what actually happens just feels cheap to me.

the other thing is too, i knew they were gonna confirm it as soon as marlene kills anna bc they were setting it up to be such an explicit parallel. they could’ve still left riley’s fate open ended in that final convo and people would’ve come to the same conclusion bc of the setup beforehand, but at least this time there’s like active engagement and analysis happening with the audience. i just don’t think there was a need to actually have it explicitly confirmed. idk i just did not like it at all.

overall tho i’m glad the ending stuck so close to the original. i liked the changes they made to joel’s dialogue in the final scene, it was like a little surprise

so anyways kinda can’t believe this show is real tbh like wow they really took my favorite game and turned it into a show. and obviously i have some complaints about it but overall it was still super good?? this is a thing that happened??? wack. it’s gonna take a bit for it to sink in that it’s over for now. i’m excited for season 2 tho, bella ramsey is a goddamn power house and they’re gonna fuckin crush part 2’s story

#have some general thoughts about the season overall too but i’m gonna save that for a later post maybe #and i have my ep 6-8 thoughts just half written sitting in my drafts bc school and life has been busy lately #one day i might fix those up and post them but it feels late now idk #tlou hbo #tlou hbo notes

[gottalovesuki1]

Hii im a new follower and my name is axo I have a request.

I know you did something similar but this time a bratty! Reader x dabi? What would he say if they were being extremely bratty (brattier than normal)

Bratty! Reader x Dabi

Warnings: I tried my best lol, instead of Dabi being the asshole it’s you well he’s still an ass, bratty behavior, choking, and he’s not tolerating your shit, smut You have been warned.

It was like the calm before storm. You where acting brattier than usual since Dabi was being a ass for not letting you see your friends but you didn’t care you would go anyway. It seemed that was not the right option.

You where doing your makeup getting ready to go hang out with your friends. While Dabi was sitting on the edge of the bed quiet. Quieter than usual it kinda put you on nerves but you ignored it. Finally done with you mascara you soon picked up your favorite shade of red lipstick.

One second you putting on the lipstick the next your where being putted on the dresser. “Dabi as much as I would-“ you shut your mouth as soon as you saw that gaze. “Finally shut your mouth huh?” His gaze basically froze you in place oh he was mad. “That attitude of yours has been getting outta control.” His hand was secured tightly around your neck.

“Dabi please don’t do this.” You pleaded although technically it was your fault for pissing him off. “I find it amusing that your begging, soon it’ll be on your knees but for now..heh.” Oh shit he had that sadistic glee in his eyes what a bad place for you to be in. You tried to find some way out but it was to late for you.

He hand was tightly(to tight you couldn’t breath fuck!) around your neck. “Why do you look so scared it’s not like I’m gonna hurt you.” That was a lie of course he was gonna hurt you. His other hand was doing something else crawling up your dress. “D-dabi-please” you where struggling to breathe and-. “Cmon let’s mix pain with pleasure” he was grinning fully intent on making you remember this “lesson”.

He loosened his hand on your neck just so you could breath a little bit better but it still was tight. He was messing with your clit pulling and squeezing it. It felt so good that you couldn’t help but moan a little. “You like it? Well that’s not good I wanna see you cry.” He pressed more rougher before inserting two fingers inside of you.

Between the choking and the fingering you your body didn’t know if it was supposed to in pain or pleased. Your breathing came out heavy and he just kept teasing and teasing you. And finally the tears had came out. “There we go” he seemed satisfied but he clearly wasn’t done cause he picked you up and sat you on the bed.

“Now be a good girl and suck my cock for me yeah?” He unzipped his pants and sat it in your mouth. “Well what are you waiting for bitch suck it.” He grabbed your head and forced it into your mouth and with a reluctant sigh you got to work.

Authors note: Sadly yes this is where it ends. I find smut scenes kind of hard to write so I hoped i got it right. Yes Dabi likes to inflict pain onto to others he gets off on it. Hoped you enjoy <3

#mha dabi #dabi smut #dabi x reader #Dabi #brat

[balkanradfem]

Ranting about being ridiculously sick

So you all know I deteriorated after having covid, and while things have gotten better, they’ve also gotten funnier, because it seems that no matter what, every single day I get a health problem now, and at this point I can only laugh at it.

So, I get a back pain like I’ve never had before, right, and I literally can’t sit down for 5 minutes or I’m in terrible pain, and this can’t just be ignored (tho I tried), so I figure, I know! I’ll go swimming, this will relax my dumb back muscles and I’ll be all better! So I go swimming, and I’m used to being able to swim across the river and back 3 times, and be okay. So I swim across the river, and I realize, my back pain is worse, and I have to swim back, and in the middle of swimming the pain intensifies tenfold, by the time I reached the shore I’m in tears, barely able to walk home. Not only swimming made it worse, but now I realize that instead of getting tired, I feel back pain, like it’s now a signal that I’m tired.

Okay so I figure, I’m going to exercise, and then that will help. But one day I have to go to work and after I get back I’m basically unable to move rest of the day, and the next day I preserve food and that also takes all of my energy, the day after that! I get my period of course. And now I’m there with back pain + stomach pain and I’m like, fuck it, I’m gonna exercise.

So I do, and I’m feeling, okay-ish, until there’s an exercise that requires lying down, and as soon as I lie down, I realize I can’t get back up, I’m motionless on the floor. Luckily this is pretty common for me so I’m chill, I wait until I can get moving again and I crawl up the bed and rest for hours. My back now hurts in a whole different way, like I almost-fixed the previous problem but then my muscles are now upset I dared to use them. Then my roommate invites me to a walk, and I accept.

Which was a bad call, because, on the walk, my period pain decides to just, shoot into the stars. I suddenly remember that if I don’t move around enough during the month, and don’t eat flax seeds, my periods tend to be insanely painful, and last month I spent pretty much in bed so this was to be expected. So now I’m stuck in the bathroom, in absolute agony, feeling like I’m going to vomit from pain, and I realize, wait, I have to go to work tomorrow, and I can’t sleep in this much pain. So I better think of what to do, and I remember, that my period pain will generally disappear if I’m inside of a river. And it’s 9pm at that time, night outside, and the closest place to swim the river in the middle of the city.

And I have no good alternative so I go. I’m not dumb enough to attempt swimming again, so I just float and look at the pretty lights and the pain is subsiding, but slowly. The water is cold. The air is cold. The pain lessens but now I’m cooling down more than it’s safe. I still stay for as long as possible, because the more I do, the less pain I go back with. I come home ice cold. My roommate touches my hand and is shocked at my zombie-like temperature. I wrap myself in blankets, go to work the next day, feeling more tired than usual, but I get it done, I come home, and I try to recover, because later that day, I’m supposed to go swimming with a friend.

So we do go swimming, and the water is even colder, but we’re brave and we can cope with cold water, of course. On my way home, I’m struck with neck pain and headache. I’m like, this can’t be happening, I literally just got that back pain to calm down a little (I still can’t sit for longer than half an hour tho), and I come home and go to sleep, and the next day, my pain is only worse and I come down with a fever and a cold because apparently I was in such bad shape that being in cold water twice made me sick!

The health of a human being is just an illusion.. I can only dream of the times I would do whatever I wanted with zero consequences.. apparently now cold water is also forbidden for my sickness-ridden body... and yet, this will not stop me, for I will continue doing stupid things regardless... my spirit is strong but my body cannot keep up... I’m going to put out bets on what part of my body is sick next, did I mention I also fell in the kitchen the other day so now my butt hurts also? Can’t blame that on anyone but there it is...

#ranting #unrelated to anything #i'm laughing at how dumbly sick i am #like i don't care regular colds dont phase me #but my limbs feel like jelly and i can't do anthing #i was supposed to be preserving food dammit

[taylors-karma]

It’s time for my first official ranking after seeing the interviews! Here’s to hoping I’m right about some of these (and wrong about others). 

Stan Card Activated

1. Blue- I still really like her and y’all really like her and I trust the fandom with every fiber of my being so I know we are right, I can feel it. I wish she had gotten more screen time in the interview but if she’s a last-minute alternate addition, it just pushes her even further. 

I think I’m gonna like you 

2. Jag- He gave me really good vibes in his picture and he’s giving me good vibes in his interview too! I think he’s gonna be a really chill guy but I can also see him being a huge mastermind and doing well in the game. 

3. Bowie- I like her accent and she seems cool. I feel like I’ll vibe with her and she’ll be on the right side of the house. Don’t let me down woman!

4. Felicia- She seems sweet! She reminds me of all the nice older southern ladies I’ve met since moving to South Carolina. Nice and comforting. I feel like she won’t try to make waves in the beginning but I could see her getting pissed and telling someone off and I hope we get to. 

I want to like you but something’s off

5. Izzy- Like I said, the queer musician connection has me wanting to like her but her crescendo joke was so fucking bad and I fear she’s just another Kaycee. Idk tho maybe she’s the butch lesbian we all needed. I have hope for her. 

6. Mecole- The politician thing is throwing me off I’m not gonna lie. Also she still reminds me of Ameerah and I could totally see her being a bitch. However, I can also see her being an awesome strategist and actually getting some work done. If she’s a girlboss I’ll take her but if she’s just gonna drag people in the mud I will not. 

7. Kirsten- There wasn’t much that I got from her, but she does seem like someone who’d end up aligning with the wrong people. I feel like she’ll be the most tolerable member of the alliance we all end up hating and we’ll all be begging her to work with the other side/s the entire time. Please prove me wrong girl sdifjpef. 

Mid

8. Matt- I do really like the deaf representation, but he seems boring af. Not someone I can see myself caring about. Sorry. 

9. Cameron- I could see myself potentially hating this guy, but he seems unproblematic to me as of now. I could see him woking with annoying people but also being kind of a floater. He’s practically TBD lol.

I don’t know yet

10. Jared- Apparently his mom is a Survivor legend? I haven’t seen Survivor so I would have no idea of knowing how good this guy could be, but family doesn’t mean shit sometimes. I can’t read this guy yet so I’m still wary. I just don’t want another Monte y’all. 

11. Hisam- After watching the interview I have definitely changed my opinion about him, but I’m still wary. He seems like he could be another Michael maybe? I could also see him becoming irrelevant or being part of the annoying big alliance. Idk I can’t tell I think I’m going crazy. 

Can’t stand your ass already

12. Red- I just know he’s going to be annoying. Is he going to be Frenchie? Cliff? Idk, but I don’t care for him either way. Out. 

13. Reilly- She’s going to be in the stupid popular alliance and is gonna get into some stupid showmance and rat on the other girls. Useless!!!! Next. 

14. America- I literally can’t stand her voice or her personality already. She reminds me of Alyssa from last season so much it hurts. She’s gonna get into a dumb showmance, be a bitch to everyone, start every rumor and bully train, etc. I just know it. 

15. Luke- Nah this guy is literally just Kyle. I’m waiting for it. 

16. Cory- I don’t give a fuck that his brother was on Survivor; I couldn’t stand looking at him or watching him talk. Literally didn’t hear a single word he said because I was so appalled by what I was seeing. How is someone just built like that. I’m sorry ksdjfposdjgdfg I know he can’t control these things but I have a feeling I will be proven right. Cory, make me feel guilty about this please. 

#bb25 #big brother #bbus #bb rankings #don't take these too seriously

[faofinn]

17. Syncope/Fainting

@sicktember

Fao wasn’t sure how long he’d been awake. Too long, probably. He’d done a full shift at work with overtime, , gotten home, and then gotten caught up in some stupid emergency from a job gone wrong. He’d worked through the night patching people up, even taken one of the lads into their small operating theatre. In truth they’d all been up, all hands on deck to keep the basement well enough staffed to look after everyone. After that, he’d spent hours typing up notes and taking regular obs. Their beds were totally full, which was actually quite unusual for them. 

He’d tried to get some sleep when he could, but had managed probably less than half an hour before the nightmares started. So he gave up, dragging himself out of bed and back downstairs. He smoked a cigarette (or two) and then headed back into the kitchen. He was running on empty. Less than empty, really. He had nothing left, and yet he still couldn’t sleep. He’d been on and off dizzy for hours, too, and the cigarettes hadn’t made it any better. Maybe coffee would help. He knew he should eat, too, but the tiredness made him nauseous, and he couldn’t face it. He leaned against the counter as he waited for the coffee machine, closing his eyes against the slightly spinning room. 

Harrison had had a slightly better night, but only just. He'd managed to get a few hours sleep more than Fao, but still not enough.

He glanced over at him as he made his coffee, frowning at the state of him. "You look like shit."

“Cheers, Hars.” He muttered. 

"Just telling you the truth." He shrugged. "Steve chewed me out for not doing it the other day. Turning over a new leaf and all that bullshit."

“Steve told you off for being nice?”

"For lying, I'm not going to go against his wishes." Harrison smirked. "He'll soon see it's a bad decision of his."

“Have you slept at all?” Fao asked tiredly. 

"Had an hour or two. Kept hearing you wander around."

“Think I got twenty minutes before the nightmares woke me. Kept nudging Ely in the ribs so I gave up and got up so she could sleep.”

"You need something yourself too, though. We need your skills."

“My skills got me into this mess.”

"Yeah, I know."

“It's all well and good you guys need me. But I'm the only fucking useful surgeon you have.”

"Steve's not too bad."

“He’s good, but how many neuro cases do we actually have?” He grumbled.

"Finn." He laughed. "He's always in. He's good enough as a general."

“Mm.”

"He doesn't kill people."

“He kills people all the fucking time.” Fao said tiredly. He really did feel like shit.

"But on purpose."

“Yeah.” He murmured, turning to pick up his coffee.

"He's more careful than that." Harrison continued. "If he wanted you dead, you'd be dead."

“I know that.”

"And he's smart enough to operate too."

“An’ I’m not?”

"You said you were the only one."

“Well, he's not gensurg, so…”

"No, but he can operate." He said, waving his toast around.

Fao sipped his coffee, feeling unsteady. “So could you.”

"Fuck that."

“Would help.”

"I'm not doing that shit. I can do the anaesthetic side, that's more than enough."

“How are you so… So alive?”

"The six energy drinks I've downed helped.'

He wrinkled his nose. “Fuck that.”

"I'm not sure what's real, not gonna lie."

Fao hummed, suddenly feeling much worse. He'd been standing for too long, maybe, because he went from a bit dizzy and unsteady to very dizzy and unsteady. The nausea was rising, too, not helped by the bitter taste of coffee on his tongue. He was hot then cold then hot again, and he groaned, trying to grip the counter, suddenly aware he was going to faint. 

Harrison glanced up. "Are you okay?"

Fao shook his head, as his legs went out from under him and everything went black. 

Harrison didn't move for a second, swallowing his toast. "So, no."

He rolled his eyes as he stood, moving over to Fao. He gave him a quick check over, rolling him onto his side to wait.

Fao stirred after a moment or two, groaning. “Ow.” He grumbled. 

"You hurting anywhere?"

Fao thought for a moment. Everywhere ached, but what was worse? “Knees? An’ my head, I think.”

"Safe to move? Or do I need to get someone to help?"

“‘M okay.”

"Oh, so that's why you're lying on the floor covered in coffee and shards of ceramic."

“My mug.” He whined. “I can move.”

"We can get you a new one." He murmured, rubbing his shoulder. "It'll be okay."

“Help me sit?”

"Alright, slowly, okay?" He told him, shuffling so he could sit against his chest.

Fao moved, pushing himself up to sit, careful of the shattered mug all over the floor. The movement made him groan, the room spinning, and he leaned heavily against Harrison. 

"That's it. Deep breaths, yeah? Just relax." He murmured, rubbing his arm. 

“Sorry.”

"You don't need to apologise." 

“Fainted.” He said. “An’ now you're on the floor wit’ me.”

"You could have just asked if you wanted me on the floor." He tried to joke. "Though I'm not sure the kitchen is the right place for it."

Fao sighed, resting his head back against Harrison’s shoulder. “God, I’m tired.” 

Harrison pressed a gentle kiss to his hair. "I'm not surprised. Do you feel ready to stand? We can go to bed."

“Mm, can try.”

They stood, Fao gripping tightly onto Harrison. He swayed a little, but stayed upright. Slowly and carefully, the pair of them headed upstairs. Harrison shepherded Fao into bed, and muttered something to Ely once he got him settled. She just tutted, and rolled over to fuss over her boyfriend, thanking Harrison for looking after him. Fao was out like a light, the exhaustion finally catching up with him.

#sicktember 2022 #whump prompt #whump writing #whump #faolan blackwood #harrison #the wolf and the ghost #crime #syncope/fainting #fainting #faint #crime au #steve cunningham #elyana lozier #elyana blackwood #exhaustion #sleep deprivation #basement medicine #the daniels do bad things but they're good people

[nonclassyparty]

Okay I won’t be able to sleep until I get this off my chest. I finally finished reading subtle variations of heartbreak and it really ripped me to shreds I won’t lie to you! I didn’t cry reading the first Yunho one, nor did I cry for Yeosang or Hongjoong. But when I got to Seonghwa’s, especially at the end, I just started bawling my eyes out. And every single chapter after that I was just done for. Every step of the way I felt so bad for mc like it was just hit after hit after hit the poor girl never got a fucking break. When the second Yunho one had come out I cried so hard for it that i didn’t think it could get much worse than that. There was no way that the pain could get worse. But then the fucking Wooyoung chapter…. My god… it gutted me. It really did. Before I even started reading it I was so worried about what was gonna go wrong. What was Woo gonna do that broke her heart. But then it wasn’t Woo that broke her heart, it was herself who broke her heart and I think that that was simply just a punch to the gut. Because it was so clear to see how broken she was by that point, how she truly could not believe that someone could love her so genuinely and honestly and she just couldn’t accept that. It had me putting down my phone because I wanted to yell at the screen “what are you doing?! Stop!!!!” Even the Mingi chapter didn’t hurt as much as the Wooyoung one. Like yeah it was absolutely fucking painful because mc is once again going through shit and she doesn’t deserve that, but the Woo chapter really sealed the deal. I also just want to go back and mention the Seonghwa chapter and how he called her “a pretty face on a pretty body” and not much more (or something along those lines I can’t fully remember bc my brain hurts from crying so much thank you) and that was like a slap to the face. Pair that with how mc felt like she wasn’t good enough to make Yunho stay with her, or good enough to have Yeosang fall for her, or good enough for Hongjoong to even want something serious with her; like no wonder she was in such a negative headspace once Woo came along. Throughout all these chapters it was the mc getting put through the ringer and being told that she wasn’t worth it, and I think that would really fuck with anyones head. Even with the San chapter there was still that little bit of worry inside of me because damn… you know? I’m glad it worked out for them because she really deserved that happiness. I also loved the inclusion of seeing Hongjoong at the market and Wooyoung at the bakery (yes I did have to put my phone down to cry again alright) and how she reacted to those events. It showed growth and it was so nice to see. Sometimes, when I finish reading a book series, or finish watching a TV series I feel this sort of nostalgic bittersweet feeling in my chest at the fact that it’s over. That’s how I feel about this series. There’s this bittersweet sadness that resides in my chest to know that the story has reached its end. I understand that she got her happy ending, and I’m so glad she did, but damn this really affected me in a way that fanfics very rarely ever do. I truly applaud you on your ability to write angst, and to write it so fucking well, honestly. This really is one of the best fic series I have ever read. Although I cried so much, I just want to say thank you for your creativity. Thank you

STOPPPPPPPPPP!!!! thank you so much for this long message i loved reading it, definitely made my day lol and yes, woo's chapter was kind of the most painful one for me as well 😭 😭 thank you so much for the kind words and for enjoying it!!!! <3

[fictionalreads]

La Brea Season 2 Episode 3

Gavin

I feel bad for Gavin. Doing all this for Eve and she gonna leave you if y’all ever get back topside. Hell she gonna leave you down there.

Of course they don’t believe it’s real. The man brings you a plan and you turn it down.

How is it better to go on the fly rather than use a map you have?

Yeah choose between the men Eve. Of course she fucking chooses Levi. I can’t stand her.

Well I was hoping you’d tell your story so I could know.

She ain’t it Gavin. Find somebody better. Please, I’m begging you.

Yeah. Do you have each other’s backs? I’m with Gavin. I don’t think y’all do.

Eve and Levi

I can’t stand her. She’s so flip floppy.

They didn’t hurt her, she’s hiding the fact that she just told your best friend that she loves him.

How dare you hug Gavin after you just made out with Levi

He didn’t exactly have a choice but to get on board. Otherwise he would’ve been alone.

This shit better work.

Levi you are the worst. First you steal his wife then you leave him behind?

Should’ve gone with Gavin’s plan.

Why are you acting like the concerned and loving wife? You fucking his best friend.

Why are you trying to be all over Gavin in the same place you were with Levi? It’s gross.

Oh now you wanna use his map? Should’ve done it earlier when you had the chance. Now Gavin is hurt and I blame you.

Watch her get free and they get caught. I’m going to be pissed if that happens.

Clearing Crew

Uh oh. Para (pala?) does not look happy.

She has a connection to Isaiah. There was a look.

Had? Oh damn. She’s done done.

Yeah no I blame you too Sam

Of course Lucas wants to do something rash.

Scott (and Lucas and Veronica)

I think this is a lie. A coverup.

Okay yeah it’s a coverup. What are you hiding?

Okay something is going on with you Scott. Aldridge has told you something. You have a reason to do something.

SEE EVEN LUCAS HAS NOTICED

I lowkey like this little trio

Yes Scott! Tell us the plan!

Fucking hell Scott. How did you fall?

OH YOU LIAR!

He killed his mom.

Of course he wants to kill him. Look Lucas you doing too much at once. Choose one. Either steal the food and start a war or kill the man and start a war. You can’t do both.

Veronica, you tried.

Why would Silas leave it behind. He probably has it on him. Oh he doesn’t.

Thank God. Get the food and get out.

You are a terrible liar Scott.

Damn Lucas’ eyes are blue.

You don’t tell us shit Aldridge.

Riley and Josh

Are we going to see them this episode? If not I hope that doesn’t mean we’ll get another episode that’s only them. I just don’t think they can carry a whole episode.

Miscellaneous

I swear I only get questions from this show. Never any answers.

ALDRIDGE TELL US THE TRUTH AND DON’T SAY IT IN RIDDLES

#la brea nbc #la brea #Gavin #eve #levi delgado #I only remembered his name cause it was suggested #I can’t remember their names yall. my mind is really blanking #sam velez #riley velez #scott #Lucas #tye #Veronica #josh #Izzy

[secretdge]

So basically this is exactly what it says on the tin.

It’s going to be my diary, I’m determined to write here everyday. I’m going to be honest and I won’t lie (for once). I don’t really even want to have any followers on here because of the honestly thing. I don’t want anyone to find me, not from my real life and not from my other blog on here. The thought of those 400+ figuring me out scares the fuck out me. Why can’t I just write it down privately on paper? That’s a good question Void. Well for one I actually really do not have that much free time to pick up a notebook. Also it would feel more real, the things I’m about to admit to. And I have my phone by my side all the time. Too much really.

Besides except some rare moments when I’m going to have more time it’s just gonna be a recap of my day and emotions just so I don’t feel insane.

I’m on a nightshift, almost done with the paperwork. Everyone seems to be asleep. C is sick again, I really hope it isn’t HFMD, but I know I’m probably not that lucky. It’s been going around in their daycare and he’s been there for two days. I wish I could take away his sicknesses, it seems to hurt me in my sternum whenever I think about him suffering.

L is…it’s been bad. Strangers passing by. Worse really because of the history. Sometimes I cruelly wonder if I somehow planned for this to happen. Get the kid and then split with him. I don’t want to but I feel like it’s inevitable. Never mind. Not today. We’ve been trying I thin but the past occurrences and him buying the wrong binkies and diapers for C ruined part of my night and subsequently day. It wasn’t a bad day all on all, I was a little bit more irritated than normal. I’ve also been on my headphones a lot longer than normally I think. I don’t know if I can break this habit, sometimes it feels like too much to give that thing up too.

Ok well. I need to finish up this work and try to sleep for a few hours so I can take care of C all day tomorrow. It’s going to be tough with my hairdresser appointment and my MIL babysitting C. Ugh, I wish I wouldn’t have to interact with as many people.

Xx