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#i wont say what it is just incase lmao
liplinerloser · 1 year
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Yooooo I hear you do matchups? Can I get a BTD one if so, I'm nonbinary (they/he/it but fem presenting), bisexual with a male lean, as for personality I can say I'm very self isolating, nihilistic, kinda clingy, very empathetic and a bit too trusting lmao, my kinks are praise, degradation, overstimulation, biting, and a little bit of choking, thxx
Yah sure, and thanks for the ask! For boyfriend to death I pair you with…
Lawrence
It was your habit of self isolation that happened to lead you to these specific woods on this specific night, despite the rumours you’d heard, if you were honest you didn’t believe in wendigo’s or Liches, so what did it matter anyway.
Little did you know of the thing that would be prowling that night
You settled comfortably next to a flowing stream, staring down into the clear reflection. It was fairly cold that night, and instead of the soft smell of earth, all you could smell was a sickly sweet rot. It coated your lungs, practically making you taste the rot from the inside, you couldn’t tell if it was you who was rotting
It took a while for you to realise you’d zoned out, and by this point he it , had noticed you. You had let your mind wander, your first mistake. You glance back down at the stream only to realise theres 2 more eyes staring back at you. You feel someone dig their hands through your scalp and slam your face forward into the stream.
When you woke up was the first time youd actually caught a glimpse of him, he was turned around mumbling to himself. “Theyre deceiving….like a flower, cant trust..” you shifted in the chair, immediately he jumps around to face you. By the face he made glancing at you, you realised this wasnt going to be a quick ordeal.
It in fact wasn’t, but over the next month You ended up gaining his trust, since he had decided not to kill you, he assumed you wanted to stay alive for the survival aspect like most people, but would be very curious to find you had actually managed to develop a trust in him.
He preferred it like that, he loves when youre reliant on him, like a flower. He liked the way that when he went for work you’d beg him to stay a little longer, and practically be anticipating the moment he got home. It almost feels domestic.
Once he truly is sure that he can trust that you wont just leave him like the others, then he’ll occasionally talk about his past, despite the fact you have definitely not been to the river, or experienced death for that matter, he enjoys the feeling of you empathising with him like he’s a normal person, you’re the only normal thing in his life
You both have the shared view of nihilism, the cup is half empty, that kinda jazz. Although he would appreciate a more positive outlook on life, he likes to be realistic, even still he enjoys the fact theres more than just the wrong place at the worst time in common, your insides are like his too
because of the way you quickly become comfortable with him, he feels although its unfair to keep you in the chair. A lot of the time he lets you curl up next to him in bed, but the beds pretty small, so sometimes you fall off. He noticed this and slyly upgraded on one of the nights he had given you his special tea, now you both fit! Since you cling to him in part because of your personality and your Stockholm syndrome, he enjoys the feeling of your tight grasp to him, as if you’ll never see him again.
Although Lawrence is a bit dense he’s most definitely not stupid, when you need to isolate he knows the damp walls of his small apartment don’t keep either of you apart enough to feel alone
if you say you want to be alone and he has a high level of trust with you, he’ll go out and meet with a friend, leaving the apartment to you, with the windows open slightly for a breeze. However hes still a very paranoid man, he hides anything sharp and takes his phone with him, he even tells his neighbours if they hear any noises its just his partner drunk as fuck, just incase you try anything
Once he’s realised you’re permanent to his apartment, he gets hungry again. He’ll give you your favourite tea, and tie your wrists to his bed. He would force you to watch him gently butcher his next victim, the drugs must be doing some shit because you could swear he had antlers-
No matter how you look outside he will always be more curious about your insides, sometimes he’ll convince you to let him make small cuts in your legs and wiggle his fingers inside, other time’s he’ll fully drug you and make one long precise cut down just above your spine, and because you’re so trusting of him, you allow it.
Even if you did happen to die on his watch, he has faith youd come back via the river, even better if you do actually, massive turn on for him, because then you can rot together forever. He fully believes you’re pathetic enough to come back to him, over resting
I feel like despite him not being anywhere near as aggressive as some of the others, when he’s particularly gone, he would release you from his apartment. Force you to leave, to run. Then make a game of chasing you in the dead of night
He knows no matter how slow he runs, or how little effort he puts in you wont actively try to leave. He sees you looking back, checking he’s still there, how close he is, if he isn’t you slow down. He cant help but smile at just how much you need him. You’re perfect
Nsfw
Lawrence doesn’t fuck as much as his btd colleagues, so it takes a lot more time for him to warm up to the idea and likes to know he’s doing a good job for a little virgin eldritch horror. Praise him and tell him how good he is for you, even if he isn’t particularly horny he’ll jack hammer into you like theres no tomorrow, he likes knowing hes quite literally the only one who can do it for you
Hes really paranoid about the noise, as much as he loves the noises you make, he’s still too paranoid to just let you openly, chances are he’ll either hold his huge hand over the bottom half of your face to muffle the sounds, or just duct tape your mouth. He cant lie the way you look at him so helplessly turns him on
He definitely takes advantage of kinks like degradation, choking etc, he’s likes feeling like he’s above you, literally and figuratively, when I say choke I mean till youre on the verge of passing out.
This man will grip your throat till the skin around it is purple, if you ask him to do it to you on a day hes particularly high he might accidentally kill you.
If youre into this man its preferable you become well acquainted with the river and its sole inhabitant. This applies to not just sex but him generally
He definitely likes to have sex while he’s high, he wont be the only one of course, he makes sure to give you a fat hit of whatever hes taking it manages to mellow him out enough so you can experience the closest thing to soft sex. He doesnt duct tape your mouth, and he might actually kiss you
if hes high he feels like he needs to overstimulate you, he needs to show you how much he appreciates not being alone anymore, if you’re crying because of the feeling he relishes slowing down his pace, leaning down to your face, and licking your tears away, all with his dead eyes staring at you
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rottingsparrow · 2 years
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Part 5!! Re-reading Lore Olympus :) Ep. 41-50
I just finished reading the new episode too so I have things to say about but that can wait for like in two weeks when I get there lmao Last part:
Ep 41
Simple dialogue is nice once and a while
I know they are supposed to be love at first sight but its so awful to see how they act even if i was crushing hard on someone if they acted like that id be weirded out
“Lets go the scenic route” nah she almost died let her breathe
“Who is that woman” shes 19 you referred to her as a kid
Ah yes the barley mother part of the storyline
It so weird to me its like rachel wanted her to be rich bc she loves painting poor people in a poor(heh) light
Why is it raining atm
Ep 42
PERSEPHONE STOP STANDING LIKE THAT
What a poor way of thinking hades yes you two shouldnt be together but your thought process is unhealthy talk to your therapist
You are so gross hades just dont look at her
Hades really says “sexualise her outfit”
I hate to be that bitch but apollo was right. Not about her needing to change but like in the presence of hades apparently anything is too hot for him
Why does his have a hair comb
“Youre a fertility goddess” ok so thats a whole thing bc later its seen as a myth within the community and everything so what
“This is out of the question” and it shouldve ended there
Ep 43
Also he has the right to turn it down lmao its his company
Hera wont think youre weak
Or maybe she will shes a lil fucked up
“Little goddess, I said no” wow what a normal and healthy power dynamic that isnt questionable at all
Rachel really went all out for unhealthy dynamics, boss and employee, king and citizen, 2000 smth y/o and a 19 y/o. Lets throw in teacher and student why not. Maybe even parent and adopted child
“Im king here” like i said, unhealthy.
“Oh shit i cant make her rich that would make no sense to her problems” dont worry, just make it to where she doesnt use her moms money
Also hades how stupid are you to not see shes hustling you i mean maybe at first but
I do like her wanting to be her own person even tho i think that gets muddled throughout the story
Why is it snowing now wtf
Also shes not gonna die from snow hades wtf
She can go outside on her own
Ep 44
What a weird thing to do introduce an intern
Like wtf let your employees go home
Minthe has a point
Its a very cute scene but then you like remember everything else and its like omg
Like him laughing and her being a lil embarrassed is so fun but tied with everything its a tad weird
Yeah you shouldnt persephone and yall should get boundaries
Persephone why didnt you tell on her genuinely
Dont be rude hades
Persephone has a point, no reason to be super mad
Oh btw heres apollo just incase you forgot he was bad. Did i mention hes bad?
Ep 45
I like this episode while hes contemplating his feelings and then he goes “her ass looks like an upside down heart” and i lose any happiness i had
Like youre 2000 control urself
And im not saying persephone isnt allowed to be sexual or sexualized but the age difference, hes her boss, and also at this point in time she doesnt like it so
Why did you bring the paper from work what
Ep 46
This is one of the prime episodes where minthe gets fleshed out but then rachel says sike later on
ALSO ITS ONLY BEEN 4 DAYS SINCE THE PARTY
Please people can have a day of relaxation where nothing happens
“Neither of us are relationship material” yall definitely let those lines blur
Shes right to be worried
Also hera is so racist to nymphs
“I know im trash already” me in like middle school
No its good to expand on her character
“Thats what everyone expects” is it? I mean how long have you been acting this way yknow
Like i want more context for that line
Idk is hades monogamous
Also zeus does cheat on his wife a lot maybe hades would
He dosent but
“I thought we were supposed to be messed up together” and i think showing a two sided toxic relationship is a great idea but rachel forgets to show hades being bad too most of the time
Also please see a therapist
Ep 47
He has a typewriter old man
“Why do i pay that hack” good point i mean you dont seem to listen to them
I dont get why he gets back with minthe like fear of being alone or what
I like the letter episode though, its nice to hear all of the feelings
Why is she on the roof lol
Ep 48
I love the furies(?)
Hes supposed to be so spooky in this episode hes so lame
Like i agree with them hes a dork
Wow everyone either likes or despises hades/persephone they are such characters
Has anyone heard of a neutral opinion
Minus his employees i guess
Ope he has glasses
Ep 49
I love the random characters getting names its so silly yet fun to me
Hecate please unpop ur collar
Good talk hecate
Does he not care thats the king
In the “salutations” panel hecate loses all meat and becomes very long
Also if these are laws why does no one follow them
Or wait is weekly nark an olympus based newspaper
I always thought he asked “which eye did you take the picture with” but he doesnt so ig im thinking of something else
Also what the fuck just ban him or smth
Ep 50
Yeah artemis maybe it would be easier too if you paid better attention
Shut. the fuck up apollo
Also how is artemis getting taken advantage of here
Love hermes
Hc him as a gay man personally
“There are rules” that literally are never listened too
Also artemis sucks at listening wtf
Like wanting to talk and getting onto someone are two different things
Also like once again, artemis feels likes choosing to be unaware yknow
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o/
💋🌹🔥🍊🍑😊📀🍐💧🌀💤🍇🍆🎀🌺 (sorry there are so many-) any oc you have on the mind/ want to talk abt!
dont be sorry this is amazing!!!!! lol the only bad part is having to copy and paste each line from the post bc tumblr mobile wont let me do it the easy way......
ill do this for sun since i like her and she deserves to be more fleshed out
put it under a cut bc its so long lmao
💋 How affectionate are they with their friends? Their family? Their romantic partner(s) (if they have any)? Are they more physical or emotional when it comes to displaying their affection? Why?
shed be pretty affectionate! more physically than emotionally, but theres definitely both. i feel like her friendships would be important to her especially bc shes been pretty lonely for a lot of her life (especially in unreality - after her first death shes almost entirely isolated from people, other than the occasional unreality traveler or anon). but shed probably refrain from being so affectionate incase shes annoying or something - she wouldnt want to ruin something so important to her or make anybody mad.
🌹 How easy is it for them to connect with others and make friends? On the flip side how easy is it for them to make an enemy of someone? Are they the kind of person who hangs around the food table at a party and never talks to anyone or are they the type who can talk to anyone?
im not really sure..... but she has made more enemies/negative relationships than positive. i dont even know if she actually has a more positive than neutral/negative relationship. im so sorry girl lmfao
shed be the kind of person to just hang around, not really sure what to do/say. theres so many people... but shed probably try to start a conversation or something. in the past (like as a kid or teen) shed be totally up to talk to people. she does want to make friends but she saw the horrors so its a little hard
🔥 Give us a list of general likes and dislikes, such as colours, textures, music, weather and other stuff!
colors - likes warm/bright colors! dark colors arent really her thing though
textures - smooth and cool stuff is soooo nice. also fluffy things like teddy bears (happy teddy bear [the abno] enjoyer)! shed hate those like velvety textures. like fake velvet clothes or something?
music - she listens to vocaloid bc shes based and just like me fr. im never typing that out again
weather - likes quiter weather. more dangerous weather just scares her lmao
other - robot hater. finds the sephirot kinda fascinating but doesnt trust them at all, even if they were human before
🍊 What is your OC’s favourite meal? Snack? Dessert? Drink? Any reasons behind this besides liking how it tastes?
homecooked stuff is always the best.. i dont think shed really mind what. its kinda hard to get specific stuff lol, but she would like saviry food over sweet stuff. she gets a liking for tea over time as a manager - as her first part of unreality hell, she mostly only gets tea lol. good thing shes immortal
What is your OC’s most hated food? Stuff they can’t stand to eat or drink?
i think shed like fruit but if theyre too different shed hate eating it. anything too sour just isnt her thing at all
🍑 Where is your OC’s favourite place to relax or calm down? Recount a story of their time spent in this place! What makes it so special to them?
librariessss. i think shed always go reading books as a kid out of curiosity. shed play coolmathgames on the computers. libraries are generally just a nice, safe place to be. especially since she spent a lot of time there as a kid, she remembers it fondly :)
Is there anywhere your OC hates to go to? Anywhere that stresses them out or have negative memories of?
unreality is a 50/50 'safe but on guard'/'GET ME OUT OF HERE'. she knows shes safe but is it where literally 99% of her trauma takes place lol. unreality is also hostile to people/life, but give it enough of yourself and it wont hurt you.
she has a lot of negative memories of it, with lots of deaths in many different places. shed be wary of like anywhere she goes, knowing anything could hurt her. she is very aware that shes weak, so she tries to compensate with vigilance, knowing when to run
😊 What can make your OC smile even when they’re feeling down? What cheers them up and makes everything feel better for them? Is your OC genrally a happy person and do they enjoy making others smile? What about your OC makes others happy?
animals. give her a cute cat or duck video she will go 'awwwwwweeeee!!!!!'. even as an arbiter she still likes animals. the only good things in the world (also very cute)
shes generally positive, trying to see the best in things, but as an arbiter she starts seeing things more negatively. she likes to make people happy and be a sort of light in the world.... but doesnt really care as an arbiter, kind of resigning herself, saying shes only a tiny part of the world and that shed make no true difference (also being an arbiter and fucking with people is fun). kind of edgy but like. after unreality hell itd make sense okay lmao
however like i said shed never hurt an animal. completely reverts into a positive mindset around a kitty cat
📀 How easy is it to shock your OC? To confuse them? To lie to them, to manipulate them? How are they with feelings of trust? Can your OC be trusted?
its easy to shock her. easily spooked no matter what lol. shes not very easily confused, though, and likes to think things through. lying to and manipulating her are harder, especially in the future/as an arbiter, bc she has like no trust for anyone. she trusts people to do their jobs and such but worries when it comes to relationships/personal things. shed like to think shes trustworthy! she can be trusted, but as time goes on she gets less and less trustworthy.
🍐 What is your OC’s mentality? Are they overall positive? Negative? A bit of both? Describe their thought patterns and reasoning behind their choice making!
like i said, overall positive. she tries to see the best in things and make good out of a situation, empowering herself to get through it.
she just doesnt trust the sephirah much at all so she takes what they say negatively, and tends to not really argue with people who talk badly about her, like "they have a point tbh". she doesnt want to be egocentric or only see herself positively. she tries to make choices that help everyone (and sometimes to gain peoples trust/prove shes a good person).
💧 What is the earliest memory your OC can recall? Do they know what their first words were or remember where they took their first steps? Do they have any mementos of their childhood they’ve kept such as a stuffed toy or tiny baby clothes?
idk what her earliest memory would be tbh.. but she has a good memory. she took her first steps at her own house (technically her parents but still lol). and her parents were SO proud and they recorded it and everything. she couldnt keep anything since she got put into a whole new dimension while at work so. kinda hard to keep anything
edit from another question: EXCEPT her little hairband with the red things (gems? dots? idk what theyre called....)
🌀 Where is your OC from? Where were they born? Do they still live there, if not why did they move? If they still live in the area how has it changed since their childhood? How many places has your OC lived in and where has been their favourite?
she was born in the nest, living a pretty good life there! youll never guess why she doesnt live there anymore. she hasnt moved much, but she did actually move a bit away to work at l corp. the nest is still her favorite place, its just normal place for once.
💤 What was your OC like as a baby, a child and as a teen? (if your OC is a teen or a child, what will they be like as an adult?). How have they changed since then? What lessons have they learned and what things about their youth do they miss the most? Do they have any general regrets?
sun was such a happy baby. full of childlike wonder (amplified by being a child). she was a nice kid, but was also super curious and unafraid to be a menace. she only loses this partially as a teen. she had good parents so she basically learned to be a good person and stuff (pretend i know this part thanks). she kinda just misses her youth generally, especially just being innocent/not knowing things. she regrets not spending more time with her parents.
🍇 Day or Night? Sun or Rain? Summer or Winter?
day, sun, winter. the day is just pretty tbh, sun > rain, and winter is super chill. you can make snowmen and snow angels and have hot chocolate. its awesome
🍆 Tea or Coffee or Hot Chocolate? Sweet or Spicy? Fruits or Vegetables?
hot chocolate/tea (but shes okay with coffee. not preferred though), spicy, fruits! shed be interested in trying spicy stuff tbh. and fruits are nice and sweet
🎀 Do they wear a specific accessory with a special meaning behind it? What is their usual fashion sense like? What do they wear when they want to be comfortable and what do they wear when they’re going to a fancy party? Or do they just not care?
her hairband is from her parents! it reminds her of them and makes her happy :)
she has a pretty good fashion sense, and likes wearing popular stuff, but sorta puts it off as a manager. she wouldnt care much about what to wear is she just wants to be comfy. for a party, shell put effort into dressing nicely though and wear a dress.
🌺 Does your OC have any tattoos or other body art? Does their body art have any specific meaning behind it? Do they have any scars? How did they get those scars? Any birthmarks?
the endddddd! yay
she has an X tattoo on the backside of each palm, and an X scar over her eye. these dont really have a canon meaning yet, theyre kinda just there bc shes the manager lol. though i do think the managers from her like. 'line' of managers all have X scars of their own. as for birthmarks, im not really sure, so no rn.
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mechromancergaige · 3 years
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Ahhhh he wants to meet up when restaurants and stuff reopen again!!!!!
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buckyskorpion · 4 years
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11 hours - part five
Pairing: Biker!Bucky x Reader
Summary: bucky is the mystery you can’t wait to solve. if you can get out of his bed long enough, that is. a biker au.
Warnings: gang-typical violence, sex scenes, alcohol mentions, probably more to come so stay tuned
A/N: alright things escalated VERY QUICKLY but shit had to go down sometime. i hope you enjoy! and sorry for the delay, i really been goin thru it recently. this part is 7k to make up for it lmao i wont be taking tags for this so please dont ask.
title taken from 11 hours by wet | playlist | my ko-fi
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It’s a big day. You had held Bucky’s hand as you stood in the doorway to his apartment, playing with his rings so you didn’t have to meet his eyes. You were nervous, not because you didn’t trust Bucky but because with every secret spilled you felt like a layer of your skin was being peeled away. But you’d held his hand and told him to pick you up tonight from your office. You handed him your business card, a physical embodiment of trust you hadn’t given to anyone else. It wasn’t your apartment address, sure, but it was something and Bucky held the card with the biggest, boyish grin on his face that melted your heart.
The real reason you’re so nervous is because if whoever followed you from Bucky’s apartment is following Bucky, then they’ll follow him right to your office door. You’d had a long talk to yourself in the bathroom mirror the other night, however, and decided you weren’t going to let a hypothetical stalker ruin yet another relationship for you. Not that stalkers are common in your life, but using any excuse to distance yourself and cut people out is most definitely your regular MO. Not this time.
That being said, stalkers aren’t common in your life so you are, understandably, fixated by it. You are sure it has something to do with Bucky because you don’t believe in coincidences and the guy literally followed you from Bucky’s apartment. The big question is, was the stalker after Bucky or were they after you? Since you have next to nothing to go on, you aren’t exactly on your way to answering that one yet. But you’ll get there, eventually, and you’ve got some ideas.
In the meantime, you wait for Bucky and attempt to tidy your organised mess. He’s meant to show up at seven on his bike, but seven is going on eight and he’s yet to show. You try not to picture the worst or convince yourself you’re being stood up, even though that’s what it feels like. The one time you give out personal details and he doesn’t show. That would be your luck. You kick a filing drawer closed a bit too harshly, the metal clanging loud in your deafeningly silent office. Whatever. It’s not like anyone is left in the building to judge you because Bucky is over an hour late and every other office in the place is long empty.
You water your desperately dry indoor plants, even the one on top of your bookshelf - a testament to how hard you’re trying to distract yourself from the imminent heartbreak. You stand on tiptoes on your swivel chair to reach the crispy fern, something your dad would yell at you for if he could see you, but he can’t so you just pray the wheels don’t slip out from under you. It’s a very precarious precision for you to be in when someone bangs your office door open and stumbles inside, that’s for sure. You nearly break your entire body falling from the chair, but catch yourself on the bookcase before any real damage can be done.
The invader slams the door shut behind them, making you flinch once again as you spin around to face your would-be attacker. Only it's not someone breaking and entering - it’s Bucky, panting heavily and bleeding from his temple while he turns slowly on his heel and assesses every corner of your tiny office for threats.
“Bucky?” you call out, hesitant to approach and startle him incase it’s not your office that he’s seeing. His dog tags hang out the neck of his t-shirt when they’re usually always carefully tucked under the fabric, and you notice now he’s not just bleeding from his head but somewhere under that shirt as well. He looks over at your voice and it takes a second for him to focus properly on you, shoulders visibly slumping, closing the space in three quick strides.
“I’m so sorry,” he says, pulling you bodily into a crushing hug. You wrap your arms around his waist, carefully holding him in case he’s got even more injuries you can’t see, but he squeezes you so tight you find it hard to breathe. He has one arm around your shoulders, that hand tangled in your hair and he presses your head into his shoulder. You feel him nose into the hair at the crown of your head, breathe in deep, let it out in shudders.
“You’re hurt,” you say into his t-shirt, and he shakes his head while still pressing his face into your scalp.
“M’fine, s’just blood,” he mumbles, barely coherent, so you let it go for the moment. You let him hold you and you hug him back, splaying your palms flat against his back and pressing him impossibly closer to you.
Eventually, you peel yourself from him in order to give him a once over. He smiles down at you like he’s amused, but you hardly find the situation funny when Bucky’s blood is literally all over you, now. You take his hand and make him sit on your swivel chair, spinning uselessly in the middle of the room from where it slid out from under you and rolled away. There’s a first aid kit in a box near the window, because you can never be too careful, and you take to soaking gauze in alcohol solution instead of speaking. You don’t trust what would come out of your mouth right now, anyway.
Luckily, Bucky fills the silence for you. He bites his lip as he looks over at you, taking in the tense set of your shoulders and jerky movements as you dig around for bandages. Then he says, “I got caught up, I really am sorry.”
You nod, but you still don’t speak. Instead you grab your supplies and move over to Bucky, avoiding his eyes as you assess the one wound you can see. Bucky has a thin cut from the corner of his eye to his hairline, shallow but bleeding profusely due to the thin skin there. You suck in a deep breath and start dabbing the soaked gauze on the wound, outside to inside, watching as the white turns coppery red with every swipe. Your stomach twists at the sight, and to your horror, you find you could almost cry.
“Doll,” Bucky says, eyebrows creasing up as if he’s just as upset as you feel. He hooks one big hand around your thigh, tugging until you let him manhandle you onto his lap. “I mean it, I didn’t mean to keep you waiting.”
“I don’t care that you were late,” you snap, clenching your jaw until you can get your flash of frustration under control. You drop your hand from his face, curling up further onto Bucky’s lap despite yourself as his arms come round to hug you to his chest. His bloodstained, most likely injured chest. You take a deep breath and ask, “What happened?”
“You wanna know?” Bucky asks. When you finally meet his eyes he doesn’t seem to be shutting down, shutting you out like you expect when it comes to talking about Bucky’s biker lifestyle. He just looks sad, and you let yourself soften just a bit to run your fingers down his jaw.
Bucky’s eyes flutter closed when you touch him, and you say, “I already told you - I just wanna know. No secrets.”
“No secrets,” Bucky affirms, smiling as he opens his eyes again. The corners are tight, though, as he starts to explain. “One of the things we do - the gang, y’know - is run protection details. Me and Sam were on it, supposed to be a simple job, but we got shitty intel and ended up having to fight our way out of a crappy spot. We got out, finished the job, but it definitely didn’t go to plan. ”
“Protection for what?” you ask. This is the most open Bucky has ever been when talking about his gang, so you’re not going to pass up this opportunity for a bit more information.
“For who,” Bucky corrects, smiling at you like he knows what you’re doing. He starts stroking up and down your shoulder blades as he talks, soothing the both of you it seems. “Rich businessmen, low-level politicians, mob affiliates - anyone who’s got a target on their back and need to get from point A to point B. They’re easy jobs for us ex-army guys and they pay well.”
“Better pay than fixing cars, I bet,” you say. Your attempt at levity works and Bucky grins. The way it makes his face turn young and open is so at odds with the trickle of blood down his cheek.
“Gotta be able to pay for your drinks somehow,” he says, and you slap his shoulder. He mock-winces and says, “Hey! I’m bleeding, ya gotta be nice to me.”
“Don’t gotta do shit,” you mumble, reminding you to press the gauze you’re still holding back on the wound on his temple to stem some of the bleeding. He hisses for real this time, the sting of the alcohol probably burning a bit, especially so close to his eye. You press a kiss to his cheek and in apology and Bucky hums, tightening his grip around your body to hold you close again.
“M’sorry I ruined our night,” he says, “I wish I could promise it won’t happen again, but I can’t.”
“Don’t be sorry,” you say, and he meets your eyes, slightly confused. You smile and say, “Not when you’re hurt. I know what I signed up for, I just want you to be ok.”
“What if, one day, I’m not ok?” Bucky asks, serious now, and you take your time before you answer him. His cut is clean of dried blood, and it’s stopped oozing any more. You doubt it’ll get infected so you should bandage it up but you can’t make yourself move from Bucky’s lap. Not just yet.
“I’ll fix you up,” you say. “That’s what we’re doing, right? Taking care of each other.”
Bucky blinks, once, as if allowing your words to download in his brain like a data file. Then he kisses you. He slides a hand up to cradle your head and presses soft, slow kisses to your lips like he’s got all the time in the world. He came storming in like a hurricane but now you’re in the eye, calm and quiet settling over you both as you cup his jaw and kiss into him all the tenderness you're too afraid to say. You mend his bleeding head and adrenaline-addled heart while he soothes your fear. Taking care of each other, and it feels nice to let someone else do that for once.
You know what Bucky is leaving out. The I hurt people admission, the fact he might have killed someone tonight, that the blood on his shirt isn’t just his. You really thought you’d care more - about the not knowing, about the truth of it, about everything. But he’s breathing and alive underneath you, trailing kisses and stubble burn from your mouth to your cheek to your temple, and all of those superfluous details become white noise. You’re surprised to find the simple fact that Bucky is alright is enough to supersede all the gaps you would usually itch to fill.
Bucky spins you both, tucking your legs up closer so you don’t overbalance as he looks around your office in a dizzying circle. A spike of nerves makes you feel sick for a second but Bucky smiles as he looks around, like he’s pleased with this part of your life he’s been able to see, and it makes you feel less afraid.
“This is where the magic happens, huh?” he asks, and you laugh at his teasing. “It’s very normal.”
“What did you expect? Like ‘Sherlock Holmes’ or something?” you ask. Bucky shrugs, mouth twitching like he’s trying not to laugh.
“Maybe,” he says, then squints at you like he’s considering something. “So, no violin?”
“No violin, and no Mrs Hudson. I make my own tea,” you say, grinning up at Bucky even though he’s being stupid.
“Yeah, right,” Bucky snorts, “Pour your own wine, you mean.”
“Are you calling me a drunk?” you gasp, reeling back from Bucky and almost sending yourself off his lap and onto the floor. Bucky grips you tighter, laughing at the offence written all over your face, and then extracts an arm to point meaningfully at the half empty bottle of red by the side of your desk.
“The evidence speaks for itself,” he says. You fold your arms in a huff, if only to have him kiss the top of your head in a silent apology.
“You stick to the gang stuff, I’ll stick to the investigating,” you huff, and Bucky kisses you again until you wipe the frown from your face.
“Alright, smart girl,” he says. He stands, holding you up like it’s nothing and you can’t deny how hot that is, even if he is being condescending to you right now. He sets you down on your feet and smooths out your jacket, the warmth of his hands seeping through the leather as they pass over your shoulders and down your arms. He links his fingers into one of your hands, smiling down at you, and says, “Can we rain check dinner? I think I need a shower.”
Bucky stands unnaturally close to you as you lock up your office and head out, scanning the street while you lock the back door and set the alarm system for the building. He takes your hand wordlessly and leads you to his bike, parked haphazardly on the sidewalk and just begging for a ticket. He hands you a helmet but is looking over your shoulder, not at you, and both of those things are worrying - you’ve never known Bucky to wear a helmet, let alone offer you one. You didn’t know he owned one. You feel fidgety, your skin crawling like you’re being watched, and Bucky must feel it too because he’s a bit rough in manhandling you onto the bike as quickly as possible.
“Bucky,” you say, and he twists around to give you a clinical once over - much like you’d done to him when he’d come to you bloody and breathless. You feel sick to your stomach, guilt and fear twisting in your gut, as you ask, “Do you think someone followed you here?”
Bucky’s face is impassive, but you’d like to think you know him well enough to read the tick by the corner of his eyes as a silent, muttered, shit. He licks his lips and says, “I can’t know the answer to that for sure.”
“But there’s a chance,” you say, and your heart is hammering so loud you barely hear your own voice. If someone finds your office then they find you, and the carefully constructed bubble of anonymity you’ve created is shattered in the space of a second. But you knew that, that’s what Bucky asked you on his couch - will you stay? Knowing Bucky is the antithesis of your comfort zone, will you stay anyway?
“Nothing is going to happen to you,” Bucky says definitively. You scan his eyes for trace of a lie but there is none. Bucky’s jaw is set, and he reaches up to grip your chin and hold your gaze on his, making sure you hear him. “Just like you said - we take care of each other. I’ll always take care of you.”
You let out a shaky breath, one you hadn’t known you’d been holding, and Bucky kisses the trill of fear away. You feel like you’ve dived off a cliff face, Bucky holding your hand all the way down the precipice of trust you’d promised yourself you’d never cross. But Bucky promises he’ll take care of you and god, it’s stupid but you want him to. You want his to be the arms you land in at the end of this free-fall. Even if, given who Bucky is, that’s the most dangerous place to be.
“Speaking of no secrets,” you say, more of mumble into his mouth than anything. Bucky pulls away, adorably puppy-like look of confusion on his face, and your stomach twists with guilt. “Remember the night of the party? At Sam’s bar?”
Bucky nods. He’s twisted uncomfortably on the seat of his bike and the helmet you’ve yet to put on is digging in o your stomach where you’re holding it. This isn’t the best place to be having this conversation but Bucky’s promise has made you brave, and if you don’t go against your own word now you never will. Not once have you ever spilled details of a case before you’d cracked it. This isn’t a case, you have to remind yourself. This is your life.
“That morning, when I left,” you say, omitting the fact it’s the first time you ever used his front door and will most certainly be the last, “someone followed me from your building. I shook them off, but they were waiting for me to leave and I don’t know if they were casing your apartment or if they were there for me, or what. I’m sorry, I should’ve told you, I just-“
“You just what?” Bucky doesn’t sound angry. Worse, he sounds cold. Shut down, clinical, and the way his face has pinched off makes your heart break.
“I didn’t know if I could trust you,” you say, looking down at your lap to avoid the way he’s looking at you like a stranger. Saying it out loud makes it sound so much worse, but it’s the truth and Bucky deserves that at least. “To be honest, I’m still not sure. But I want to. If I’m going to trust anyone, I want it to be you.”
It’s several moments before you’re brave enough to meet Bucky’s eyes again. He is coming back to you slowly, the shutters pulling up from his eyes as confusion seeps out. He scans your face and says, “Usually I would tell you that’s a really stupid idea, but I think you already know that.”
“Stupid ideas are kind of my thing,” you say, and that makes Bucky smile. Relief is bone deep, hits so hard you could slump from the bike in a pile of goo. He’s not mad. In fact, he leans forward in what must be a truly uncomfortable twist to press his forehead against yours and closes his eyes, breathes in deep. You follow suit, so ridiculously relieved you still get to do this while simultaneously trying to control the adrenaline rush from handing over what feels like you’re entire life to someone else.
All your life it feels like it’s always been you versus the world. Your dad raised you that way, to rely on no one but yourself so you can never be let down, not even him. It feels wrong on a cellular level to trust Bucky like you are so blindly doing. Every instinct screams at you to run, to figure this out on your own, that Bucky would normally be one of your main suspects in a regular case. But here you are, showing Bucky all your cards, hoping against hope that you won’t live to regret it.
“No more secrets,” Bucky says, and you nod. You feel his eyelashes tangle with yours as you move, pressed so close like this, and you open your eyes to stare at the veiny lids covering his. “Next time someone follows you, you tell me.”
“Yes sir,” you say, grinning at the warning pinch he gives to your hip.
“Let’s go to the shop,” Bucky says, pulling away from you and turning back to gun his bike to life. “The guys can help us figure this stalker shit out.”
“The guys?” you ask, and your chest does something painfully restrictive at the thought of letting more people in. “As in, everyone? Like, your gang?”
Bucky laughs, like the way you say ‘gang’ is so goddamn amusing, and throws you one last look over his shoulder. You tug the helmet on as he revs the bike, suddenly regretting every other time you’ve gotten on this thing without one, as Bucky says, “Yeah, doll, my gang. That’s kinda the whole point - we help each other out.”
You hadn’t really thought of it like that before. Truthfully, your mind had been filled with shady drug deals and bloody fights, turf wars and tattoos and angry men on bikes. Bucky’s friends and the nights you’ve spent with them seem like a different world, the joy and love entirely removed from the illegal life Bucky leads outside of your reach, but you have to remind yourself - they’re one and the same. Your Bucky cannot be removed from the biker you’ve been kept seperate from.
Clinging to Bucky’s waist, you say, “Sounds very after school special for a gang, tough guy.”
You can practically see Bucky grinning just by looking at the back of his head as takes off, the streets of Brooklyn peeling away as heads for White Wolf Mechanics. Your anxiety and fear sheds off as well, floating away in strips down the tarmac like an outer layer of skin. You feel vulnerable, all new and exposed as you hold Bucky close so you don’t fall. That’s what makes it feel bearable - Bucky’s back against your cheek, the hand he places over yours against his stomach when you pull up at a red light. His promise, echoing under the rumble of the bike beneath you. I’ll always take care of you.
~~~
The shop looks closed from the outside, but you can hear a low bass-line from the street and people laughing somewhere inside. Bucky brings you round the back, the roller doors out front closed this time, and into the back rooms you’d yet to see since that first visit a few weeks ago. To your left you see what must be Bucky’s office, but the room he tugs you to looks more like a bachelor pad living room than a mechanics break room.
Sam and Steve lay sprawled on leather couches, beers open on the coffee table made of old crates stacked together. The Killers pumps through a very, very nice sound system which Natasha is quietly singing along to where she lays on top of the pool table, legs kicking off the edge to the beat. Her beer rests on her stomach, rising and falling with every breath, and she doesn’t even raise her head as she waves at the two of you entering. Sam lifts the icepack from his eye to look at you, grinning wide, and kicks Steve in the shin to get his attention.
“Barnes is back,” he says, rolling his eyes as Steve blearily blinks awake from what was clearly an unplanned nap. Steve focuses on you and Bucky, eyebrows drawn down in confusion, and Sam adds, “and he’s brought his girl.”
“Shouldn’t you be at dinner or something?” Steve asks, then seems to remember himself and smiles all big and perfect at you. “It’s great to see you again, by the way.”
“Quit brown-nosing, it’s embarrassing,” Sam says, and throws his icepack at Steve’s head. He swats it away, squawking at the wetness it leaves behind on his hand and cheek, which makes Sam grin.
“I need a beer for this,” Bucky mutters so only you can hear, which makes you smile. You lead the way to the minibar in the corner, right by the bookshelf full of video games and the cardboard cut-out of Guy Fieri (you don’t want to ask). Bucky follows, grabbing your hand and tugging you back into his chest as you walk - even without the watchful eyes of the other gang affiliates which usually follow you at his parties, Bucky seems hell bent on making sure everyone knows who you’re here with. Even his closest friends.
You can’t say you entirely mind.
“So, to what do we owe the pleasure?” Natasha asks. She’s sat up now, twisting on the pool table to face you both as Bucky grabs you some beers. Sam and Steve still continue to argue about nonsense on the couches and are ignored by the three of you for the moment. However, they stop bickering as soon as Bucky speaks again.
“Someone’s been watching my building,” he says. The silence is thick, and you feel almost guilty for ruining their fun night with your stalker woes. Bucky hands you a beer and looks at you pointedly, eyebrows raised. You take a sip before you follow his not-so-subtle direction to start talking.
“I was followed home the morning after Sam’s party at the bar,” you say. You have the full attention of Bucky’s closest friends, and you can’t help but feel a little intimidated. You take a deep breath and decide to look at the situation like you were debriefing a client on a case - remove yourself from the equation. “There was a man smoking against the building next to Bucky’s. He followed me about four blocks before I lost him. He was over six foot, caucasian, brown hair and stubble.”
“Sounds like every white guy,” Sam says. “You could be describing Bucky, for all we know.”
“Yes,” you say, frowning. “If I was putting a tail on someone, I would make them very nondescript. Makes sense, right?”
“And you’re sure he was following you?” Natasha asks. You glance at her, but she doesn’t look like she’s condescending you or anything. Surprisingly, she looks like she believes you far more than the other two men in the room. Maybe your trial by fire proved to her you know what you’re talking about, so you nod.
“Definitely. Either he knew I was there and was waiting for me to leave, or he was watching Bucky’s apartment and would have followed anyone who came out of it. Without more information I can’t be sure if he was there for me or Bucky.”
“You’ve never seem him before?” Steve asks. You shake your head, and he says, “Could you describe him a bit more detailed? I might be able to draw him.”
“Sure,” you shrug. “Or, we can just wait until he shows up at Bucky’s again and follow him.”
Bucky does not like that idea at all. He practically growls, grabbing your elbow and turning you to face him as he glares at you. Roughly, he says, “Are you fucking insane?”
“What?” Mildly annoyed, you tug your arm from Bucky’s grip and say, “If this was a case, that’s what I would do.”
“This isn’t a case. This guy is going to be a hell of a lot more dangerous than some rich businessman cheating on his wife,” Bucky says, voice raised to an almost shout in one of the quickest escalations you’ve ever seen.
A switch flips in your brain, and you see red.
“Thank you for the condescending analysis, Bucky,” you snap. You ignore Sam’s muttered ‘oh shit!’ for your own health and sanity. “But you have no idea the kind of people I’ve dealt with in my life. I can manage a fairly mediocre stalker.”
“A fairly mediocre stalker who works for someone who won’t hesitate to use your hamstrings as handcuffs,” Bucky hisses. He steps towards you, chest brushing yours as he breaths deep and ragged, and oh- there’s the Bucky you’d been missing. The guy who’s still wearing clothes stained with blood, most of it not his, angry in an incandescent kind of way which reminds you he could hurt you in many more ways than just a broken heart. He leans down to say into your face, “This isn’t something you fuck around with, alright? There’s a reason why I’ve kept this world from you.”
“I thought we said no secrets?” you say, raising your eyebrows. You will yourself to hold your ground, even if you are shaking like a leaf and your words come out soft in the face of his anger. Like you’d poked a pin in his chest, Bucky deflates. He backs off of you, face crumbling from anger to guilt as quickly as he built himself up there.
“I won’t let you get hurt because of me,” he says, shaking his head. The switch in your brain flips back, all indignation and pride fading away. He’s still trying to take care of you, just like he promised. Already it’s abundantly clear you’re not going to make that easy for him, and you wonder how long it will take until he gets sick of trying.
“This isn’t going to work if you don’t trust me,” you say, gesturing between you. “I let you into my world, now it’s your turn. I know it’s dangerous - I could have left, remember? But I’m here. So let me be here.”
“If someone touches you-“
“I’ll get over it,” you say. Bucky stares at you like you’re crazy, and maybe you are, but it’s true. “You said you were going to take care of me - how’re you gonna do that from all the way over there?”
You don’t mean the other side of the room, the valley of the pool table and the metaphorical arms-length which which he’s keeping between you. There’s only so much Bucky can hide from you before you either dive right in or walk away. This is the turning point.
“Fine,” he says. He looks physically pained as he scrubs a hand over his cropped hair, but at least he’s not angry anymore. “I still think thats a fucking stupid idea.”
“Like I said,” you say, offering him a smile he shakily returns, “stupid ideas are kind of my thing.”
“Uh, can I say something?” Sam asks, breaking the illusion that it was only the two of you in the room for that particular argument. You both turn to look at him, and he almost backs down with the weight of both your gaze. He carries on, however, saying, “I’m glad you guys have had this breakthrough in your relationship, but that doesn’t really help us in figuring out who this guy is. Or who he works for. Or why he followed you. Or how he knows where Bucky lives in the first place.”
“We could go around and ask,” Steve says, shrugging at Natasha’s eyeroll. “What? Baseball bats really jog people’s memories.”
“Why don’t we ask the private investigator for some expert advice,” Natasha says, giving you a look that seems to say men, right? You’re still trying to get your head around the image of Steve threatening someone with a baseball bat when you’ve seen him with his own puke on his jumper singing Sweet Caroline into a toilet bowl.
“Well,” you begin, darting Bucky a look but he seems to be listening and not getting ready to yell at you again, “since apparently following the guy is off the table for now, I would start with me and Bucky. Enemies, bad blood, someone with an axe to grind. Pull at some threads and see what happens.”
“That shouldn’t be hard,” Sam says, “Bucky’s got more enemies than friends.”
“So do we all, punk,” Bucky grumbles, glaring at Sam. “We’re in a gang.”
“This ain’t about me.” Sam holds his hands up in mock innocence, grinning big like he gets unrivalled joy from making Bucky’s face do the twitchy, dark thing it’s doing right now. The impact is somewhat lessened by the swollen, black eye Sam’s sporting from the mission gone wrong today, you assume, but it doesn’t curb his enthusiasm.
“I can put together a list of the most recent run-in’s you’ve had by tomorrow,” Natasha says to Bucky, ignoring the bickering with practiced ease. “Until then, we should put some protection on your building.”
“You guys have bodyguards?” you ask before your brain can tell you that’s a dumb fucking question. All three of them laugh, Bucky hooking an arm around your shoulder to ruffle your hair as he tugs you into his side. Point taken, you think as you pout under Bucky’s arm.
“I’ll stay in the spare room,” Steve says, swinging himself off the couch to his full, ginormous height. That image of him with the baseball bat starts to take a bit more shape in your mind, and you don’t doubt for a second he could offer some extra protection where the stalker is concerned. To you, he asks, “You don’t mind if I third wheel?”
“It’s not my apartment,” you say, attempting to hide your blush under the weight of Bucky’s arm. You are unsuccessful, if Sam’s smirk is anything to go by.
“We’ll survive one night, punk,” Bucky says, giving you a squeeze. “Or just buy some earplugs.”
“Gross!” Sam cries, flailing an arm around. “Too much information!”
You have a feeling akin to whiplash at how well these people are taking a stalker and potential threat on their lives. Joking around, Steve fake-moaning just to make Sam scream, Natasha laughing until tears form in her eyes at the antics of two grown men chasing each other around the couches like school children. Glancing up at Bucky and the warm look he’s giving them all, you suppose it must be lot less scary to face something like that with friends. Family, you think, as Sam crash-tackles Steve into the couch and smothers his face with a pillow.
“You’ll be alright?” Natasha’s soft voice manages to scare you, jolting under Bucky’s hold as you turn from watching Steve and Sam to find her right by Bucky’s other side. She’s looking up at him, lips pressed into a firm line, and you remember the last time you were here - James is the only family I have. Maybe some are taking this development a bit easier than others.
“Always am,” Bucky says, using his free arm to punch her lightly on the shoulder. She gets him back, much harder, and you feel Bucky wince away from her and into your side. “Serious, Natashenka. I’ll be fine.”
“Good,” she says. Smirking, she adds, “I’ll kill you if you aren’t.”
You look back to Steve and Sam before they can notice you eavesdropping, a hot, honey-thick feeling melting through your skin. You want to know what that feels like in a way which burns; to have people who have your back like that, and your dad doesn’t count because he literally has to. You understood Bucky’s gang even less than you originally thought - he’s not just a biker, a criminal, a hit man or an ex-army vet turned enforcer, whatever the case may be. He’s a guy doing what he has to do to protect the people he loves, because he’s surrounded by them. You’ve never had to protect anyone but yourself.
You tuck yourself closer into Bucky’s side, letting the warmth and smell of him consume you. That’s gonna change, you think. This feeling in your chest is telling you that change is already happening.
~~~
Steve does not have to get ear plugs to survive the night, and you make both him and Bucky coffee before you head off. Shower, new clothes, work - all that normal people stuff you have to do. Steve, golden in the morning sun with the brightest smile on his face, and Bucky’s moody scowl at the early hour and dark rings under his eyes, wave you goodbye. You kiss Bucky’s pout before you go, letting him grab your ass for a second before you slip away.
“Don’t do anything stupid,” he says, and Steve snorts like there’s some joke you’re missing.
“I’ll go out the laundry window,” you say, as if this is a new development and not your usual routine. “Nobody’s gonna follow me, promise.”
“Hmph,” is all Bucky says and then you’re really gone, racing down the stairs and out the window like you always do.
Sorry Bucky, you silently think towards his apartment as instead of making to cut through the gym parking lot, you wrap back around his building and scan the street from behind the bins. Sure enough, opposite Bucky’s building with a baseball cap on and another cigarette, stands the same dude who followed you the first time. You really weren’t lying - stupid ideas are kind of your thing.
You make sure you’re hidden by a group of pedestrians as you slip out the side alley of Bucky’s apartment building and walk away from your stalker. He doesn’t notice, and you manage to walk a block and cross the road without him any the wiser. Your roles have switched as you hang out at the news-agency a few doors down from where he’s waiting, pretending to flick through a magazine. It’s easy to take a few picture of him over the top of the page with your phone, grainy but useable for when you show Bucky later.
You can deal with Bucky being angry at you, because you know how to do your job and this is the most efficient way to get intel. It’s always easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
Eventually, you watch your stalker watch Bucky and Steve leave his building. It’s 9AM and they head to their respective bikes, revving off down the street in the general direction of Steve’s tattoo shop. Your man hunches his shoulders and pulls out his phone, taps into it for a bit, before he walks off in the opposite direction to Bucky and Steve. Not following them, then. Your stomach twists as you fall into pace a few people behind him. Just following you.
He gets on the subway, which makes  it very difficult for you to remain unnoticed but you manage to sit at the internal doors in the next carriage and watch him through those. He gets on his phone again, talking to someone with evident frustration if his clenched jaw and balled fist is anything to go by. He gets off in Manhattan, walks a few blocks, before ducking into a darkly lit bar called the Lerna. You decide it’s probably best not to follow him there, but you snap a few photos on your phone of the bar before doubling back out to Brooklyn.
You call Bucky as you go, a bit jittery at the incoming argument you know you’ve created, but you can’t help but feel it will be worth it. Now you have something to actually go off - a face, a name, some concrete facts. Much better than stabbing around in the dark. A few rings go by before Bucky picks up, saying, “Miss me already?”
“Get over yourself, tough guy,” you say, but you’re smiling. Maybe you do miss him already, just a bit. You were so focused on getting your information you didn’t get to fully savour Bucky this morning, all tanned muscles and tattoos, all yours. You force yourself to ruin the moment by saying, “I’ve got some information for you.”
“Me too,” he says, which surprises you. “Nat’s gotten together some potential candidates for your stalker. Have you got time to come to Steve’s tattoo place?”
“Sure,” you say, beginning to pick at your nails as the nerves set in.
There’s a beat of silence before Bucky must realise what you’d said before, and he doesn’t sound nearly as light and playful anymore “You said you had information? On what?”
“I’ll just show you when I get there,” you rush out, closing your eyes at the way Bucky sucks in a breath like he already knows what you’ve done. “Don’t be mad.”
“Oh, I’m not mad,” he says, as if through gritted teeth. “I’m fucking livid. Please tell me you didn’t follow that guy this morning.”
“Ok, I won’t tell you,” you say. “See you in twenty.”
“You’re dead meat,” he says before you hang up.
It could’ve gone worse, you muse as you round the corner to the subway station. Sure, Bucky threatened you with lethal violence and sounded even angrier than he’d gotten at the shop yesterday, but you can still imagine him smiling at his phone as you hung up the same way you’re smiling at yours now.
You text him the photos with a quick, Don’t say I never do anything for you xx
A minute after the photos deliver, Bucky is calling you again. You frown down at his caller ID, confused - you were on your way, why is he calling you back already? But before you answer that question, someone grabs your arm and tugs you away from the subway steps and into an alley instead. His grip is bruising, unbreakable, even as you scream and kick before he shoves a gun into your neck and you fall deathly silent.
“Scream and you’re dead,” the man says, hot on your ear. You can’t shudder away, his vice grip too tight and the cold steel on your jugular paralysing. You twist a bit to look behind you despite yourself, your stomach bottoming out at the familiar face which grins back at you. Baseball cap, brown hair, stubble - just like any other white guy. He sneers at you and says, “Not so clever now, huh?”
All you can hear, as your stalker marches you down the alley and into a waiting SUV with a gun to your back, is Bucky’s voice yelling this isn’t something you fuck around with. You’d let him say ‘I told you’ so a thousand times if it meant you got out of this alive. Hopefully, the phone tucked into your back pocket will be enough to save you. You hope Bucky is listening, the call you just managed to answer still catching the grunted conversation your kidnappers are having. You’ve never needed someone before, but god, do you hope Bucky’s got you now.  
Part 6
690 notes · View notes
bucksbisexual · 4 years
Text
okay since im rewatching 2gether, might as well make my reaction public lol
tine trying to be a supportive boyfriend by asking wat if something is troublig and wat’s himbo self being like “nah fam im good” god i love this dumbass
also tine not knowing how to talk about his feelings is so relatable help
honestly i would’ve LOVED to see sarawat at least one (1) question
tine’s smile while wat drinks..... Sir I Am In Love With You
also his blush..... Sir I Am More In Love With You Than I Was Before
“is the lyric about smile or happiness?” “don’t cheat” wat saw through his bullshit right there KSJFHKS
i wonder what’s in those glasses because it doesn’t quite look like coke but it obviously isn’t beer,,,,
ohhhhh “a friend from high school” ... explains tine’s reaction we see in the teaser when he introduces pam as his highschool friend
also explains why tine thought sarawat made that video for her instead of him. wat is in his high school clothes and tine probably thought it was before he saw him (when in fact it was probably recorded the same day lmao sarawat hopeless romantic)
tine: one more game! [spins the coin and supposedly falls on heads] wat!
sarawat: no one can talk to me if i fall asleep
i’m trying not to look at bright’s jiggly butt why is ass so fat fOR
it doesnt add the points here if i dont write something else so intro time yeet
yknow what . we need more earn and more pear in these two last episodes . i need my wlw rep and i need it Now
“personal space is important even for couples” still cant believe man was the owner of their braincell in this scene
tine giving all of type’s info away to wat so wat can give it to man who tine knows will use to pester him until he becomes his boyfriend...... say it with me: tine mantype shipper
“how did you know?” “i prayed to god” literally the funniest part ever
manboss: im not going good luck wat: you’re so full of bullshit
GREEN <3
i will just say that pink is tine’s best colour. i need him in every soft pink thing u can find. it accentuates his skin colour so perfectly and we are Here for it honeyyyy
MIL SHUT THE FUCKUP
sarawat being a savage (rachet booty nasty) we stan
bro get over him oh my god he’s taken and happy with wat LEAVEEEEEE
and man pestering type begins Now ksjfh
i’m like 100000000% sure that the only thing in that whole backpack is a pencil and half of an eraser
im also sure type saw him buy the book since u literally can see him from where man and that girl are and
hold up the waiter looks like a guy from whyru,,,,,,,,,,
i need someone to write a fic about tine being an astronomy lover and wat falling in love with him because of the joy in his eyes when he talks about the stars and interesting facts about the universe and new discoveries of galaxies and other things that wat doesnt really care about but he listens to either way because he’s too in love to shut off his brain
okay back to the episode sorry i just really had to say this
wat really said “don’t take advantage of me when i’m sleeping” when they haven’t even kissed.......... no words, completely speechless
tine probably thought he was being real sneaky right there lmao boy he fell asleep 2 seconds ago
god green really appears for 2 seconds and yet he steals the show KSFJHKFJFS he really was about to beat the person in front of him’s ass for not walking faster im crying i love him
BITCH SHUT UP AND LEAVE THEM ALONE STOP TRYING TO BE A HOMEWRECKER
wat looks so offended by his offer it’s so funny jhfksjhgj still MIL GET THE FUCK OUT
them running around is so funny when u know they had to do that like 20 times and were tired as fuck KSJFHKSHFS
WAT YOU SMOOTH FUCKER i love u
omg the bracelet truly isnt there at the start of the scene :-(
“nuisance tree” lemme just cry a bit
the music stopping here......... they truly played with our feelings there huh
WAT YOU SMOOTH FUCKER 2
the reactions are so kdrama outro i cant breathe KJHFJSFKJS
GET THE FUCK OUTTTTTTTTTTT
“well, you left him” IM GOING TO STEP ON YOU
bracelet where r u :-(
“it was here a second ago” it wasn’t im an obsessed bitch and noticed just as the scene there started
he looks so worried:-( tine baby
“i can make you a new one” “but i want the old one” why do i feel like that has more than one meaning,,,
half of the times wat touches tine’s head his hands are dirty as fuck lmaoooooo
is- is someone wearing a marihuana dress??????
manbosss again and he has a book
type is the teepakorn brother that can lie and will lie meanwhile tine can’t lie for a living
I LOVE THIS GUY GIVE ME HIS SELF CONFIDENCE
dim really made up a whole spirit just for wat to be with tine lmao i cant breathe (unless the pine tree spirit is an actual thing and he just used it for this specific thing lmao)
“that senior is me” “and who did you go with?” “that was a long time ago” “it wasn’t me, it wasn’t me” “green, drop it!” i love them KSFJHFSJHF
green and wats faces i cant bREATHE these are the faces of people who know this is all fake
BRO WAT WASNT EVEN THAT SLICK WITH THE PAPER IN HIS HAND SJKHSFHHKFS
my guess is that he had two papers that were the same number just incase they didnt get the same number but then somehow mf MIL had to come in and ruin it
i dont know who chose to make bright wear this much brown but it honestly fits him so well
coffee for his soon to be boyfie
man: loving u is kind of bothering? type: o_o man
he’s still reading the book kjshfsf WAIT HES SO CUTE
“you gotta miss me if i don’t show up one day” “just back off. i’m leaving. do not follow me. give me some time to miss you” okay tsundere ass bitch
type’s so rich he’d rather spend money on getting his tire fixed than get it fixed by man for free i hate rich people
he’s also too rich to care to check if his doors were locked i-
“for me?” “do you see anyone else?” bitch ass tsundere
type: smiles, realises he just did that, eyes cutely go o_o
type looks so cute in that scene for no reason im going to eat ur cheeks if u dont stop being a cutie
aaaaaand of course theyre not paired up
dude of course he is youre creepy and also trying to break his relationship apart only because u dont have the decency to see that you dont have a place in his heart whatsoever
dim honey........ jskhsjf
tine’s hair....... PLEASE I NEED TO TOUCH IT IT LOOKS SO FLUFFY
“the spirit doesnt like it when you pray with your eyes opened” did literally no one notice how nonsense that was? KSFJHSJ
GREEN U SCARED THE BABY WHY WOULD U DRESS LIKE THAT
he looks so cute im gonna cry like actually cry
weak ass blankets they gave them i swear
if u cuddled then u wouldnt have been cold but noooooo ur big puppy boyfriend has trust issues
baby:-((((((((((( i will cover u with a blanket and give u lots of kithes and hugs
tine having his phone die at an important moment and also having no sense of direction whatsoever is so relatable lmaooooo
thank god for the rain because otherwise sarawat wouldnt have ran the way tine actually went lmao i wouldve beaten dims ass if mil was the one who found him
this scene hurts so much:-(( his throwing the grass like that in complete defeat??????? the flashback to him saying that bad things seem to happen to them lately makes my heart break
the soft touches:-((((( please im gonna Cry
dnotsaysorrydontsaysorrydonsaysorrydontsayHE SAID SORRY FFS
baby :’((((((
“i prayed for something but i havent redeemed that prayer yet” “what did you ask for?” “it’s if i got to see you again, i would show you the video i made. it’s the song your smile you are so curious about” BITCHHHHHHHHH
HES GONNA SHOW ITTTTTT YES I LOVE HOPELESS ROMANTIC HIGHSCHOOLER SARAWAT
he’s all shy i cant breathe he cant even look at the screen skjfhksh
oh so it was on the same day sksjhj forgot about that
I CRY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH
tine is all blushy im gonna sob i love these two
im trying not to scream and tines reaction to wat telling him he went to every scrubb concert just to look for him
ITS NOT GONNA GET STUCK ON THE VIDEO BABY HE WILL LIKE U BACK IN A YEAR!!!!!!
“i like you” “yeah. i know. i like you too” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM LITERALLY REWATCHINNG BUT I STILL JUST SCREECHED AT THAT I LOVE THIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
their smiles after he said it tho.......... my heart hURTS
wat: the wish only drew us to cross paths again. us being together is because of something else, tine: what then? wat: shout out to my homies for being there for me since day one i love u bros
THE FLASHBACK AAAAAAAA I FOUND HIM YES U DID BABYYYYYY
boss’s whistle after he tells them that he only said he would kiss him until he dropped lmaoooooo
“his name is tine. [with the softest voice ever] what a cute name”
manboss looking at each other like this bitch is so gone for this random dude but we’re gonna support him because we’re the only friends he has
wat was probably wishing the pool had water in it so he could throw both of them into it at that moment KJSFHJSFHF
“he’s the one i like” “shiiiiiit” same dim, same
fan dee nAAAAAA
his ass was so gone he was gonna make his ig username lovetine i literally cant believe him
boss having the braincell in this scene i love it
“but earn has a boyfriend” LIES. SO MANY LIES. ITS A GIRL. SHES A WHOLE LESBIAN.
boss once again being the owner of the braincell...... im starting to think he owns it half of the time
“you get it now? us being together is not a coincidence. it’s because of us” WAT YOU SMOOTH FUCKER 3
wait,,,,, tine’s little head tilt,,,,,,, SIR I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU
the stars!!!!!!!!! theyre there!!!!!!
“i think nothing bad is going to happen anymore” honey you got a big storm coming
it ended :’(((((( my beautiful boys i love this episode and drama so much i swear
lets watch the next episode teaser
i dont think tine is gonna lsiten to pam saying that but if he does,,, baby pls dont overthink okay he loves u and wont leave u for anyone in the world
phukong dont come back to him he knows that u like him and will play with ur feelings
type is gonna have to choose between im guessing either a boy interested in him from work or man and im gonna vote for him going with man lets hope i win
WHAT IS WRNOG WITH U BRO GET OUT HES HIS BOYFRIEND OF COURSE HES GOING TO CARE AND WORRY YOURE JSUT A CREEP FOLLOWING HIM AROUND HOPING THAT THEIR RELATIONSHIP ENDS SO U CAN SNEAK IN UGH
“is pam your first love?” WHY DID U END THE TEASER THERE AAAAAAA BITCH
im so glad that the episode comes out today because i Need to know more
okay thats it if anyone read all of this first of all sorry kjshkfj and second of all thank u ,, u didnt have to but u did and ily for that okay bye
27 notes · View notes
Text
Episode 3: “She hates girls”- Dani
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I AM PISSED. I AM SO MAD AT BRANDAN RIGHT NOW. WHAT THE HECK. I WAS TOTALLY TRANSPARENT WITH HIM. HONESTLY??? I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUtT FLIPPING WITH HIM AND JULIAN IFFFFF THEY WOULD HAVE ASKED ME. AND JULIAN?? I TOLD HIM I HEARD HIS NAME, I TOLD HIM. WHY IS HE ATTACKING ME FOR BEING HONEST??? I'm so glad I have Lucy and Andreas but Brandan better waTCH OUT BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT HONEST WITH HIM. WHAT THE HECK i'm sorry, i'm just so MAD right now
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO all my alliance members are on different tribes, I am so sad. ALso I'm with Brandan. -___________- I don't know who else is even on my tribe. I like Kevin and the others are all okay but UGH WHY BRANDAN WHEN I AM SO IRRITATED WITH HIM STILL?? bring me back lucy and andreas :( 
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Okay so yay for a tribe swap but uhm it's kinda homophobic that not only am I not on a tribe with Dani or Ryan, but that I can't even speak to them now!! I'm still drinking with Dani on Saturday though so suck it hosts. This tribe is alright, like I said not my favorite set up but I don't feel completely screwed. I'm with Joey which is good because he's loyal to me, but people are going to assume we're working together since he picked me, also he isn't good at talking to new people so idk if that's gonna end up bad for us lolol. But yay for being on a tribe with Sarah! Idk she's iconic and I'd like to work with her. I talked to Andreas for a bit and he was nice, I'd hope we could work together. I started talking to Junior again before the swap so I don't feel completely off on him. Billy is the only one I've barely talked to, but he was on Sarah's old tribe so I think they're gonna stick together??? I just hope that we can win some challenges so that I don't have to worry.
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when trace and johnny give you lemons.... (ie- brandan) you make lemonade. I am currently kissing brandan's ASS right now. i told him that if he and julian asked me to flip i would have and all kinds of other lies just because i don't need any drama with him on this tribe going forward, I NEED numbers so whatever i'm going to be his new best friend and pretend to forget about tribal but I'm still PISSED. 
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This tribe swap is fucking disgusting. Why do i have to be on a tribe with junior. Im just glad jake is here and maybe him, billy and i can work together and grab someone else to work with us if we go to tribal 
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Okay so last night I was on call with Joey and he was like "someone told me you wanted to vote me out round 1" and I was like yeah it's true but you didn't have to say it. And big surprise it was Keaton that told him this. So now it's a new day and lo and behold I'm on a tribe with Keaton's snake ass and as much as I don't trust him I have to play nice because the boy knows WAY too much about my game and my personal life for me to risk crossing him so basically I just go from one migraine to another bouncing between my exes. If I get swap fucked I will be showing up in Johnny's PMs with virtual pitchforks. xoxo Madison
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https://youtu.be/5oLRQqS00UU
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VL Confessional Cause you tried to play both sides You got caught up in your lies And now you're runnin' You're runnin' out of time Try again, cause the game is over https://imgflip.com/gif/2vicz3
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Wtf! Why did we switch tribes right as I felt so good????? Now I’m in a tribe where I feel like I can’t connect to anyone except dan and sometimes Tom. I made an alliance with Tom, Madison, and Dan. I’m trying to ensure our safety Incase we do go to tribal. Keaton came to me and said he wants to target Madison and honestly I’m really down for that. So I think I can use this as an advantage. I can either tell Madison Keaton is after him and we get him. Or I can team up with Keaton and Lucy and get one other person to flip and we get Madison. Tbh only down for Madison because she doesn’t seem to like me at all. I’ve also heard she hates girls. Which is a little obvious :p. I hate that. GIRLS GOTTA PROTECT GIRLS. But nooooo she loves attention. Ok ranting done.
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VL CONFESSIONAL I feel like Jake is my #1, but Dani is visiting him today(lucky girl.) I feel like I would do a disservice to a majority of straight men in this game if I didn’t hum the intro to “Ether” at least once. Also, fuck Jay-Z.
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Heya, time for a little update! As of now, I am getting a little frustrated with my tribe (love Jake though). But before I get carried away, let's see how well we do in the immunity challenge. I am not sold on the song choice, but I appreciate that a few people give active input. I'll do my part as best as I can and hope that it'll be enough for at least 2nd place... Should we lose, I'll try to get a solid group with Jake and Junior, and add a player, who one of the other three wanna vote for. At this point, none of Joey, Sarah or Billy play a major role for my future plans in this game. Billy could become a close ally as he seems to be very underrated in this game. Sarah could become a close ally because she's a cool cat. Joey idk about. We're not bonding that well rn. 
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I have no faith in my tribe at all I somehow feel like this video is about to be 3 minutes of just me and a cameo of mark and his adorable kids x_x Time to make my cousins make some videos with me so I have a lot to edit in because I SURE can’t rap in time with this song 
Okay Isaac is sending weird clips of himself from challenges I’m not sure if that will cut it but I’ll take whatever I can edit together at this point DJSJS
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Me seeing the other videos and prepping to go to tribal... also a picture of Tom booty poppin should be on the dvd cover
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VL CONFESSIONAL THANK YOU JUDGESSSSSSSSSS! YOU GUYS ROCK! JESS LET ME BUY YOU A BUNCH OF TIM HORTONS. Alyssa, fried chicken at Red Rooster on me when I visit😃?
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I know I haven’t been around much. But I hate this swap. I hate this tribe. I know NO ONE who I feel will be willing to keep me safe with them. So I actually have to work hard to talk to people. Music videos are not my forte. But I have to contribute because if we lose then I’ll be someone on the chopping block for sure. And I can’t have that. I’m just hopping we can slam challenges and then we can make it to the next swap. But I hope Sarah and Jake stay close with me. I really like them both. Jake is really cool to talk to and he’s not bad to look at either. Sarah is my soul sister. Then there’s Joey, who has this plan to get rid of Andreas and honestly I’m kinda ok with it. Anyone but me is how I’m feeling. I just gonna find somewhere to sink my teeth into this game and take a bite. I don’t want to be a background day player with no story line and shitty gameplay.
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=zfISjcq23KU
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Okay so I think I'm gonna go for Billy this round. I didn't want to lose because I think I have good connections with everyone on our tribe, but someone's gotta go. Billy makes me worried now because he said in our tribe chat that Tom told him we lost, so bitch you cross tribaling??? Andreas and Junior both told me they like me and each other so I think they're trying to form a group of 3 there? Sarah also said she liked me and Billy and I like Sarah but it might be hard trying to get her to vote Billy out. Joey originally said he wanted Andreas out and that he likes Billy, but Billy told me and Junior that Joey was spreading Andreas name, so I let Joey know that Billy's doing that, and I think Joey trusts him less now. We'll see what happens. I just don't my name going around like last time. I just need another tribe swap ASAP.
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So now were going to tribal bc johnny announced the results wrong. Johnny is a pissy player and cant stand when other hosts mess up but wants us to understand when he does..hm TEA Anyways ill see what i can do to make sure I do not go home. I think i have junior, and jake and billy but we shall see
Literally fuck off. HOW IS IT FAIR THAT THE HOSTS fucked up and they wont give us an extension??? INTERESTING????????? Why does one tribe get over a day and we get less than 12 hours..lol ok what ever maybe get your fucking shit together before fucking over ppls games 
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Well look at it, we lost again. Great! Just great! And people seem to be thrilled to go to Tribal Council! They're so excited that they throw the challenges! So me being a straight shooter, I immediately target Billy, who has slacked the most on this new tribe and would be a fair call (on paper). But it's only natural that people have their own agenda and I am being targeted by Joey and Billy at least. Sure, Joey might still be up in the air, but either way, I NEED to believe in Jake and Junior here to vote for for Billy, or I am toast. And if Billy doesn't step up next round, so are Jake and Junior. I have nothing against Billy, but this season we don't really get along too well. We had a fun chat today, but it felt like it was too little to late for me in this season. Let's see what happens in this mess of a round :D Love Johnny though, I don't blame him. I really wanna stay and fight for all the people on my tribe to stay in this game!
Ok, so as per usual in premerge, my fate rests within other peoples hands. That's just how I play and that's totally okay with me. The scenarios I can see are: 4-2 Billy/Me (which is what's being sold to me sort of with Billy and Sarah voting for me) 4-2 Me/Billy (if Jake sticks to Joey and they decide to ride the tide and vote out Billy over Junior if they lose another TC) 5-1 Me/Billy (if they all wanna be safe lmao, but Junior seems really sincere, so I doubt this happens!) I can't scramble too hard at this vote, because I really feel that Jake wants to keep me around and me reaching out to others will make me appear like a bigger name to write down. I 50:50 Hate/Love each tribe I'm on and I hate that I am such a sulky old man in this season, but that's just a new facette of good old me.
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https://youtu.be/i6ZY0hrvDaM
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I am SO glad that we won! the judges were HARSH, huh? But it's okay, we still won! I really hope that andreas is going to be okay tonight, I'm just a little worried but I think maybe Billy will be the one to go?? Maybe. 
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I fucking wrote out a long ass confessional and then it refreshed and I wanna die, so here are the highlights: I love how Johnny has progressed enough in life to recruit 5 iconic female judges in the name of feminism, but has not progressed enough to perform basic arithmetic I want the f5 to be original Robinsons and I trust them as follows: Mark > Dani = Ryan > Junior I want a f3 with Mark and Junior because Dani is a big social threat and I would always vote for a woman over a man because fuck men, and it’s like the laws of feminism I’m really happy I haven’t had to go to tribal yet, let’s keep it moving and NO DOUBLE OR TRIPLE TRIBALS PLSSSS
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It looks like this is a wrap y’all. Unless sarah actually pulled some miracle out of her ass and convinced them all to vote Andreas then it’s time to blow my flame out. I’ve been on the outs ever since I was picked last. So I guess this shouldn’t be a surprise. 
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bleepblopbloop56 · 6 years
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Motorcycle au again
Okay so originallyni wasnt planning on posting anymore for this motercycle au but fuck it its my blog i do what i want
Sexuality
Logan is gay and demi
Roman is pan
Virgil doesn't know what he is
Neither does patton
Deceit is bi
Rem doesnt know and doesnt care (and ace)
Gender
Logan is cis male he/him
Roman is cis male he/him
Virgil is trans boy he/him
Pattons non-binary they/them he/him
And deceit is genderfluid she/her he/him they/them
Remy is cis male he/him
Their jobs (incase i didnt say already i dont remember)
Virgil works at starbuck and runs a youtube channel
Logan is a professor
Roman is an actor
Patton works as a vet
Remy and dee work together as a mechanic (well remy is dee isnt aloud to touch the shit)
Here are some questions about the au my friend @virgilswritings me
Virgil's yt name? Anxious Nightmare. His fans call him anxiety for the longest time and he would always joke that hell tell them his name when he hits a million. Well suprise suprise, he does eventually get there and he has to tell them since he promised
Does Roman dream of going to Broadway? He does! Ever since he was a child hes wanted to go to brodway and he so close to getting there now that his names out there
Will Virgil be ok with that? Of course he would be! He knows how much roman wants this and triesto suport him no matter what
If Roman did go to Broadway would he follow him? Risking comfortable setup for his love? (Idk where that came from lmao)Virgil would follow him to the end of the world.
Has Patton ever seen a rescue in his clinic and tried to take it home? He wants to take every animal he sees, but logan doesnt think they have time for an animal right now. Patton does always make sure they get to a good home, or at least go to a shelter he knows will take care of them
Additionally do they already have an animal? Logan says they dont have the time for it now, and offers maybe a fish but patton cant pet a fish.For his birthday logan decides he might be able to acomidate one (this backfires hillariously on logan, ill tell ya later)
Additionally additionally, how many times has Logan had to tell him that they cant keep the animal? Patton calls him at least 3 times a week to ask if they can keep one, usually in tears
If Patton works at the clinic does that mean he cant be around the cats? He has some very strong allergy pils he takes every morning before work that calm it down a bunch.
Does he just stand out of the cat section with puppy doge eyes while another co-worker has to litterally push him away before he starts sneezing like crazy? On mornings when he forgets them definetly.
“Patton no you forgot your allergy medicine, your eyes are alredy red and itchy”
“He needs help!”
“The others have got him its fine”
Is Logan one of those cool teachers? Tries to be cool and the kids just pat his back and laugh at how hard hes trying? He tires to remain fairly professional with his students but does ocasionally try to joke with them. The big nerds find it hilarious, the normal students give him pitty laughs (logan absoluetley loves when he can make them laugh, he feels so proud of himself
How close is Logan with his students? They love him, hes an amazing teacher and even anxious students can tell him they dont understand because they know he wont be upset. He will explain everything in as many ways as possible to make sure they undertand. So yes, hes pretty close with them.
How many times has he had to stay up grading papers? All the time, he wants to get his work dont as soon as possible but pat always keeps him company, or to convince him to head to bed
Is Dee a pathological liar?Tho i would imagine it would be about stupid little things. Hes more of a sarcastic peice of shit.like “dee did you eat the last cookie?”
“Nooo i would nevverr do that”
“bitch-”
Does he ever have trouble conveying when hes which gender? Does Remy just know?  He has a hard time figuring it out sometimes but once he figures it out he can just kinda scream it out
Like sitting around the house
“F E M A L E”
*from the other room* “Got it sweet heart”
How much coffee does Remy drink a day? As much as he can afford and get his hands on, he usually swichesto tea after 5 pm to get make sure he can get to sleep some nights ( unless its a night when things are running behind, then hell chug until he can see sunlight)
And does Dee try to steal some? Of course he does, every time he sees rem
If Dee does steal some how does Remy react? It varies between playful slaps on the hand to bat his hand away, or allowing him to sip before taking it away and getting him his own cup
I have more but for now this should be cool
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lejindarally-blog · 6 years
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BTS having a crush on you
a/n: ahhhh this is definetly gonna be bad so im sorry lmao. this is my first reaction/imagine and trust me im terrified lol. anyways, no matter how bad it is, i hope u really like. or dont, idk. ahhh ok here u go (∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆゚
💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫
Jin: Jin would be pretty secretive about his feelings. he would be scared of sharing how he really felt, but he also didnt want to presure u in anyway. It was a little obvious, but he tried to be as polite as he possibly could
He would do little things, like compliment you and call you pretty all the time. He would be a gentelman, lending you his coat when its cold outside and helping you with anything you needed
If you needed anything, he would LITTERALLY SPRINT over to you. he is always right by your side and there if you need anything
" Yah, why is my friend so pretty?"
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Yoongi: Yoongi is very low key about his real feelings. in fact, you might even think he hates you sometimes, but thats not the truth. The truth is he finds you beautiful with an amazing personality. he wants to touch you, make you his, but hes to shy.
He will secretly stare at you now and then from under his black hoodie, gazing at ur beauty. he will ALWAYS let you have the first listen at his new songs becuase you always have the best critisim and criteque.
You understand how hard he works and he loves that ypu really appriciate what he doez. You are the only one that truly makes him smile and he loves to be around you
"It really means the world that you understand me, Y/N~"
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Hoseok: holy shit STOP HIM! he is litterally UBSESED with you. non stop hugs. he will squeeze the living shit out of you if he isnt careful. he loves you with all his heart becuase of your bubbly personality and your beautiful curves that he always secretly wanta to play with ( ͡°з ͡°)
you dance with him all the time and he teaches you anything you want to learn or work on. LOUD AF! he will see you and litterally scream and run around becuase hes so happy. fucking bouncing off the walls, its litterally insane.
all the members can EASILY see that he likes you, but weirdly you always thought he just liked you as a friend, even though you liked him alot
"OH MY GOD, Y/N!!! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH COME HERE!!!"
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Namjoon: Namjoon, ame as jin, will be very quiet about it but FUCK THIS MAN IS DIRTY. you catch him staring at your ass and cleevage all the time, but you never say anything becuase you dont want him to be uncomfortable. He fell in love with your beautiful face and sexy body.
He loves to touch you, like putting his arm around your waist, playing with your hair or simply just holding your hand. ofc you love him to and it is very obviouse that you like him back, but you are STILL scared to say anything incase you are possibly wrong.
He loves sharing his clothes with you and thinks you look adorable in his giant sweatshirts.
"t-there was a bug!"
"so there was a bug on my ass?"
"y-yeah! I just wanted t-to figure out how to get it off without looking creepy.."
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Jimin: SHY LIL BABBBYYYYYY! litterally the cutest fucking thing. He loves to give you hugs and cuddles, but always gets shy after a while. he loves being by you and seeing you happy.
like Jin, he will do anything you want him to do. he would stare at you from a distance, but he would never be caught. nobody knew that he had a crush on you, but everyone knew you had a crush on him (except jimin). they would tease you about it all the time and try to bump you closer together
if you get hurt or your sick, hunny hes the sweetest little thing. he would be so worried and maybe even cry if it was to bad.
" c'mon Y/N, just one more hug? please?"
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Taehyung: ACTUAL boyfriend matirial. hes the type to be just your friend, but treat you as if you were his girlfriend. buys you ALL the gucci in the world. lends you his gucci slides and his ecpensive hoodies
he wont take no for an answer when he gives you his expensive things. he loves you for your smile, 4D personality and how thrifty u r with your money. he enjoys watching you do things and acting normal and comfortable, it makes him feel nice
tickle fights and nerf gun wars are always a must
"TAE THIS IS 1000 DOLLARS I CANT-"
"shhh take it, it looks great on you❤"
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jungkook:you guys are the meme queen and king. an actual child. He would be shy around you ofc (like all girls) but sometimes he just likes to act like a little punk. you both act like children when you guys are together. stealing snacks from the kitchen abd having prank wars with you are some of the things he loves only doing with you.
makes fun of you all the time, but will make sure not to hurt your feelings. a complete sweetheart. will takr care of ypu (if the others arent taking care of BOTH of you.) loves to dress in matching onesies and have sleepovers
he fell in love with your cute charm and child like wonder , always wanting to protect youand be by your side
"YOU BITCH THATS NOT FAIR"
"WHWHSJSG WHO SAID I WAS FAIR, PRINCESS?!"
"YOU LITTLE SHIT IM-"
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10 notes · View notes
x-rambles · 3 years
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06.18.21
Gratitude: 1. I got the summer schedule that I want!! Extra $$ is a dream! 2. My birthday is NEXT WEEK   3. I’ve been walking outside consistently!
So...this post is definitely a brain dump! Essentially, I want to talk about fear. I am feeling so much fear & I am, afraid...ugh it’s drama because I shouldn’t be operating from a place of fear! I need to have an abundance mindset! It’s just upsetting that I feel lost in the sauce, like I don’t know what to do/what to focus on.
As of late, and I think the root of my entire quarter life crisis is a fear that my time is being wasted! For example, with A! I’m pissed I’m not meeting his family/people in his life because if the relationship isn’t progressing a certain way my time may be wasted!!! Do I want to share my life with him? Do I want to marry him? I just don’t want to waste my time! 
This shit with not seeing each other has just been weird as fuck though. Not seeing each other, not really communicating, no bueno! I know I’m not initiating any more communication.....I’m just not exactly too sure about opening up my options. Opening my options would be to A-make me happy! I like dating, I like being treated a certain way. I deserve that, so if he’s not giving it I would have to get it elsewhere! B-ensure my time is not WASTED! My sis said the sad truth is I’m single until marriage & it’s true. IDK if I want to be married by 25, that could be a bit much...but I am positive that I want to be in a relationship progressing to marriage.
It’s odd how things with us were going great & we were more or less on the same page then BOOM-complete stop! So....ya if he’s not being the boyfriend I require I must look elsewhere. Maybe I wont go on apps right now, but....yeah! 
I also fear time being wasted in my job! And I hate that because similarly I’m not too sure what to expect, what I want! I guess because I’ve been talking about the PhD for FOREVER & have yet to make strides toward that. I think with the PhD I just need a timeline. Transparently, teaching AND curriculum development ARE very helpful! I think teaching experience (which I love) can help w my PhD. Developing AA history helps me continue engaging w sources & docs. I’m just so afraid of staying stagnant. This year I haven’t been stagnant. This year I have grown. I need to be sure that I continue doing that! Continue following my passions, continue progressing with that in mind.
I don’t like that I’m feeling romance anxiety. It’s hard being so afraid & I think a lot of that may be my fear of getting caught up in the type of thing I was caught up in before. And like, idk...I hear about people being in relationships for 2-3 years before being engaged.....I try not to think too much. I’m trying to think step by step. I liked the progression from dating to stating goals, to exclusivity, to relationship growth. I should trust my instincts too! Why am I not more integrated into his life? Why is it so casual for him to not see nor speak to me. RED FUCKING FLAGS. I’m not comfortable addressing them as I....don’t want to be in my masculine. All that I can do is open my own options?
If I open my options I’m praying that I don’t fall into the 80-20 trap. And when we’re together maybe I can ask for help more? Ask for what I want more...ugh. There are times when I prefer more chivalry....this is damn insane man. I just want a loving relationship with a man who loves me. I am not comfortable. UGH.
I’m freaking out about if he’ll reach out to hang out this weekend! On the one hand it’s like....Me & Jenny do have plans (stupid ass plans) & on the other hand, I for sure want to hang out! SO-maybe if he reaches out I can say I’ll come over tomorrow night? If he doesn’t reach out-I’ll be pissed as fuck like I have been, It’s hard being me because I get so emotional about hypotheticals lmao. It’s rough because I just like having plans! 
I wonder how I’ll feel. On the OFF chance he reaches out to hang out at his/my home this weekend (one day)-NO SEX If we do his house Saturday-Sunday? I have to feel the vibe out. I’m nervous because I love & miss him...but I don’t want to pretend his being MIA is okay! Maybe the first attempt I’ll express that I’ve been feeling distant lately & want to enjoy our time together. If he attempts a second time & I feel receptive to it I may go along...Communication is so hard, & I do want to prepare incase I have to initiate discussing this. It’s also a mess because I feel distant from lack of communication/seeing each other AND about not being more integrated into his life/not being too clear on the progression of our relationship. 
These hypotheticals are all hinged on whether or not he even reaches out...if he doesn’t reach out until next week (Bday get away) I’ll be pissed asf. I guess I’d have to just feel stuff out & ask his thoughts about our lack of time together when I see him bcus that’s crazy asf.
Is everything okay with his cousin? Even if not, I just feel like he’s responsible to take care of it, or communicate that. I’m nervous because part of me really doesn’t know if I’m ready for this conversation.
I guess when I say something (because I cant hide it) I’ll have to be transparent about expressing how I feel & genuinely wondering about his thoughts. That’s about has far as I’ve gotten...& thank him for sharing his thoughts...because it’s some bs.
Unfortunately, If a valid prospect presents itself I will remain open to it because I am not messing myself up with this clownery, I’m just not. This cousin shit needs to be over by my birthday and/or he should be taking me out on weekdays. I am not going to continue putting up with just never seeing each other. I’m not in the business of having myself unavailable yet being single in my own relationship. I’m not interested in doing that & I will not do that.
Action Steps:  -NO SEX for 1 day visits -MUST gather thoughts/perspective before sex on weekend visit **praying we don’t have to discuss this over my bday...it may be good to discuss in the car? Or maybe the Friday before....but I...I’ll flesh out that action plan when it gets closer.
Keep your eye on the prize-and baby, YOU are the prize! XoXo, C.
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askemilydeanyo · 5 years
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Hi Emily, to keep this short n sweet i just wanna hop right into the issue. The thought of my boyfriend fucking another girl turns me on and pisses me off simultaneously and i cant make these thoughts stop:( we haven’t been together that long n i do get insecure sometimes bc i see what girls he’s been into in the past. so i imagine him having sex with them n get off to it n then afterwards, i kinda get mad lmao. is this toxic?
Hello! Interestingly enough, you are the second person that has brought something of this nature up to me in the past few weeks. Sounds like you could potentially be a cuck! ;-) 
To answer your question, I wouldn’t say it’s ‘toxic’ unless it’s directly interfering with your life or your relationship. Maybe more so just inconvenient, or even uncomfortable at times. If it’s something you just get off to and feel occasional bouts of insecurity about, I want to assure you that you are not alone in this regard. If you are getting off to the thought and then blaming your partner for sleeping with people before he even knew you, then that would be toxic!
A few questions for you: Have you shared this fantasy with your partner? Is it the thought of him with another girl specifically, or an ex? Do you find yourself looking at/thinking about his ex’s intentionally and then getting jealous as a result?
If you have talked to him about this and it appears to be something he could be on board with, I would highly suggest acting on this fantasy with someone your boyfriend does not know. Imagining him with an ex whom he shared an emotional connection with is a recipe for disaster. On the contrary, suppose you hand pick out a girl that turns both of you on, and ask him if he would be comfortable sleeping with her while you watch. Does that sound like something that could satisfy your need just as much?
I think a major key to involving others in your sex life (if you are a monogamous person just looking to occasionally throw extra people into the mix) is to make sure that there is some sort of emotional distance. Boundaries are crucial. If your partner slept with someone he knew, you would likely have a lot of uncomfortable thoughts that followed: Is he texting her? Is she going to reach out to him? Do they follow each other on Instagram? You know, those kinds of things. If it is with someone he does not know, you wouldn’t have to worry about that nearly as much. No emotional past, no exchanging of phone numbers, no real connection - just physicality in the present moment.
Now, I’m not even sure if you’re actually interested in acting this out, but I thought I would throw that information out there just incase. I only say so because I recently was turned on by a similar thought, and I told my partner, and when we acted on it it worked out really well because of those exact reasons. I chose the person, I made sure there was no connection between them, and then I did get to see my honey with someone else and I felt totally calm and collected because it was in a safe environment. Had they dated in the past, I certainly would not have been a-ok.
So anyway - try talking to your boyfriend and see what his thoughts on this are. And if you find yourself being met with insecurities: take a deep breath, process what you are feeling, and remind yourself that he is your partner and he wont sleep with anyone else without you asking him first. Your partner is your partner for a reason. You chose each other. And if you find uncomfortable feelings resurfacing, ask him for reassurance. Explain what you’re feeling. Also consider seeing a sex therapist if you want some additional advice. Just know that these feelings are valid and more common than you think! And shouldn’t become toxic to you unless you allow them to.
Xx
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Confessionals!
Hi it is Olivia! So I don't have the gifs of this season or the player banners so this will be separated by day since I was just an intern and didn’t keep track of confessionals or what day it was when they were posted. Its just all of the confessionals for this season on one post. Sorry for the delay!
5/22
Tim
WHY ARENT I ON THE PRETTY TRIBE! I love Aren already he seems super fun and chill! Certain people... however make me wonder why they are all stars.. jk lmao Im here to have fun and do great!
Aren
Spoiler alert, the f3 is trixie/madison/aren!!!
QuilLynn
So its me, QuilLynn, Two-time winner, next first boot of atomic! I'm happy to be with Dana, but idk about the rest of tribe. I don't really click with anyone, so i'll probably just try to let dana have the social game and i'll just like cling to her coat tails until merge or a swap. I'm trying to be my catty self and form a pretty girls alliance with Dana and Sarah since we are all Iconic woman winners, but I know Sarah will be more loyal to dan, or I think it at least. I'll fill you in more later, gotta go mingle! <3 xoxo gossip ho
Stephen
Its what, one hour into the game and I already love sarah. i knew this season was going to be crazy, it is after all all-stars. So that means no inactives to vote out round one. Eek. So I’ve got to work fast to make those social connections and try and get myself a place in whatever majority forms if we lose immunity. Which we wont. I love creative writing, if we lose this because of my writing I might as well give up writing altogether.
Aundra
"THIS IS BRAZY!! Going into this im ""like Jesus do i want any IOS people in?"" ""theres going to be at least one, right?"" SIKE! THERES 3!! i cant deal im super excited that tim and heather are in the same game as me because they're great people Stephens also here which is awkward a little but i dont really feel like theres any bad blood between us, we've basically made up since IOS . ALSO IM ON A TRIBE BUILT MOSTLY FROM WINNERS. I really wanted to have some winners on my tribe that way i could have hopefully a built in alliance but all winners except one is on my tribe thats so much pressure. And unlike most games ive had a small convo with just about everyone on my tribe/ know them or i like them. this game is definitely going to be different experience and hopefully it will be a long and fulfilling im really looking forward to this season.
my game plan for right now is to get on the good side of all the people that haven't won a game yet and get the other winners out. target #1 QuilLynn SHE HAS WON TWICE. did they let sandra make it to merge?? NO do i want to go far with her in this game? NO is she probably a great person? MAYBE but i dont want to take chances and im gonna be pretty limited at the begging of this game so hopefully the will let me survive long enough to establish myself apart of this game.  
Hopefully this game is worth it and is as fun is it was last time even if like time i was sent into a depressive mode thanks pressure last time i think i can take it this time! lmao                                                                                                 xoxo, gossip girl "
5/23
Madison
TOO MANY PEOPLE I KNOW. TOO MANY PEOPLE THAT HATE ME. I’M GONNA DIE SO FAST. 
Dan
"So I like a lot of my tribemates which is cool because if I didn’t I would have quit night one and thrown all the rice in the fire. There’s a ton of Lago representation, which I’m not surprised about, but am v concerned about. It’s like when you were in like 7th grade and you had those friends you talked to every day and then summer came and y’all didnt talk for a while and you come back for 8th grade and things are chill and you catch up, but they still know you’re better than them in every way.
This first challenge is....a choice. I love Cameron with all of my heart normally, but this makes me only love him with my right atrium, so there’s that. I havent taken an English class since 12th grade so y’all know I’m basiclally illiterate now.
I’m just hoping for a cute little jury placement and play a more UTR Sammy-esque game this time around. I know that eventually the wheels will fall off of that plan and I’ll go into full on neurotic, here, queer, and not going anywheer mode where I win like 6 consecutive immunities, but for the mean time I’m goung to try to be diverse, and show I’m not a one trick homosexual. "
Sarah
"Hey so let me just tell yall im stoked for this season bc im back for ALL STARS!
First season winner and flop returning again.
I adore this cast and the fact that I have been put on a tribe with all the winners (except  luke) is amazing. we created a girl winner alliance right away with me, dana and quillynn. I adore them so much!
Also im connecting with stephen and i think he likes me! I will prob be able to control him a tiny bit this season so lets see how that goes :~)
I just want to let yall know there will rocks this season bc me and julia are back! Were not on the same tribe but i adore that bitch and shes just as equal craziness as me
So far i have connections af and i havent burned any bridges with the ppl in this game so im literally in love
Jay will probably want to get me out asap but fuck u im on my own tribe OK
Anyways just like s1 i have an alliance made almost immediately and i have connections!
Also i did the whole immunity so incase we lose they will feel guilty of voting me out WHHAAHAHAHHA
Anyways ill be back later with more news"
Aundra
"A tribe full of mostly winners.. in a way sounds ideal. It’s not the only person that’s attempt the first challenge is Sarah and Sammy helped out i wrote half of one which is better than I bet majority of team has done I highly doubt we’re going to win the challenge becaus Sarah’s story is not all that great it lacks anything it’s just boring but aleast she tried she put forth some effort toward the challenge and I honestly don’t want to go to a tribal that would be the worst also did I forget to mention that the idol system for this season is the exact same way as IOS which I suched and was probably the worst person in the moors of all time cannot l t me just make merge so I can have and isle of skye reunion with my main man tim cause I really need someone that would be my ride or die and I wouldn’t have to worry about betraying me
Also I QuilLynn is a really cool person it would be hard to vote them out ( I think that’s there pronoun caus ewhen we were talking she started using we and what not so I’m gonna call her they/them for now on) and Duncan obviously did some sorta research on the cast cause he came at me with basically my whole tumblr survivor history. I gotta watch him closely                                 Xoxo, gossip girl "
Tim
"Everyone: oh this challenge is so cute its gonna be great
Me internally: It's ok but I thought I'd see it at swap or something its not my favvvorite
Also them: Doesn't write anything for the challenge but some gives ideas
Me: Guess I'll just... write."
Well I just wrote my story for the tribe and trixie drew some bomb ass pictures! It really brought the story to life a bit and I appreciate the partnership effort!
Stephen
"Duncan: Don’t backstab me okay? Me sharpening my knives: Unfortunate Like I love the guy but anyone who asks for an alliance day one can easily become a target or an asset. If we end up losing this challenge I will either throw him under the bus of us or us him to get numbers. Also about this challenge, I feel really bad for not having more input, especially after I bragged about my writing. But tbh this prompt is very specific, and doesn’t really mesh with my style of writing. And by the time I had caught up with messages and read what Sarah had written it was 11:30. Sorry guys."
Duncan
https://youtu.be/5PLE0dQ1mIk
Aundra
"this is going to sound completely under believable but it’s all true and happened day while I was in the the Acadia Mountains on a afternoon hike. So I was walking having a very nice time enjoying a new trail I’d never taken before. It was longer than most and seemed to never end, I almost thought I was going around in circles. When I was finally about to give up my gps went off saying I was near a geocache! So like any normal person I went to go it. When i found the capsule it began to glow. Strongly and brightly it started to shine. I’d never seen a geocache this big so I decided I was going to take it the I noticed something weird on it it had names next to dates on it. QuilLynn- 1902 Samuel- 1913 Dana- 1940 Sammy- 1953 Dan- 1969 Sarah- 1982 Stephen- 1986 Heather- 2000 Duncan- 2012 Aundra- 2018
I had no idea what this list meant or who these people were, I’d so find out. I started my way back to my car but never made it back that day. Once I began to try and leave the geocache started heating up. It became so I dropped it. I would’ve ran off then and there but I started hearing a voice. “Give me what I want and I’ll give you what you want!” Said the dark and gargled voice. “What do you want?” I said quickly to scared to think of anything else to say. “Your soul!” Whisper little voices so close to my ear I could feel there lips nibbling on my earlobes. I got chills and started panicking breathing heavy. Fast. Hard. Deeply. I thought I was gonna pass out but surprisingly stayed awake. “What do o get in return?” I asked the voice. “Happiness” it shot back quickly. “Ok, have it.”
That’s the half of the story I wrote defiantly better than Sarah’s but it’s whatever hopefully her story can pull through with a W                                  Xoxo, gossip girl "
Dan
"Our story is........... garbage honestly.
What happened to Heather’s amazing 7 deadly sins story line??? We got a stale piece of white bread with no plot or anything with just food jokes??? Sarah did her best yes, but when your best is subpar it’s kinda hard to like win a challenge ya know? "
Heather
Wow first confessional after immunity, we stan a mess. So before anyone can get situated we get our challenge thrown at us and of course it is something I am actually terrible at: WRITING. Hun I cant write for shit. But I came up with a great idea that I thought would really sell the judges being the 7 deadly sins. However there are 10 people so 3 would be the ones who find the geocache and use the items in it to fend off the other 7 who are possessed by the sins. Everyone was like super excited for it, but Sarah didn't use it in the writing, which is upsetting since I really wanted to be sloth and be fended off with like Nyquil or something, but aye that's how shit is. Now I guess its time to get these bitches on my side and find out who to get rid of.
5/24
Duncan
so we lost. Obviously i'm not thrilled about it but I'm not filled with rage or anything like that. If i go home first I'll be a little surprised but I don't think thats going to happen. What I'm kind of hoping to form is a foursome of me dan heather and sammy. I think that would be a very strong group at least for now. As for the longevity of the group? I don't know. I just know I told dan and sammy individually that i want to work with them and heather is someone who dan trusts. Sammy and Dan played lago together so hopefully they'll be on good terms. This way Dan can kind of be seen as the leader of the group and if anyone tries to take a shot at the grouping later down the road it will be his head on the line and not mine. As for who goes home at tribal? I don't think people will vote for Quil or Dana as not to stir the pot. We can't vote out Sarah. It would be mcfucked if we did that to her. So that leaves Stephen, Aundra and Samuel. Obviously I would like to keep Stephen around because he can be an asset to me moving forward. As for Aundra and Samuel?  think Aundra is a little enigmatic but i like him. I also like Samuel, he was the last person to add me but we've been talking the most out of all people that are brand new to me. Speaking of being brand new. I kind of want to talk to Heather and Aundra and be like "THIS IS ALL STARS!! WHY Y'ALL ACTING BRAND NEW!?!" because I've talked to them like the bare minimum. Do you know the untucked where that quote was from? God i love untucked. Where was I? Oh yeah. Hopefully they don't send my ass packing first. I haven't thrown out any names, hopefully someone can throw out a name by noon tomorrow. I'll report back later if i have time. xoxo gossip gorl. also woo mitch! im going to try and win this for us since we were robbed in alcatraz <3
Luke
"Hi hello we won immunity and that’s pretty iconic! I like a majority of my tribe but I’m SCARED of if we have to go to tribal because I think I will DIE!
Opinions on my tribe:
Aren: he’s iconic! He’s british and we hit it off right away, I think he’s going to make a great ally for me!
Carson: I love Carson so much ahhhh, I’m excited to see him in this game because we always work really well together. He’s definitely a number for me.
Chris: last time I played with Chris was in Great Lakes when he had a premade to help him get to the end so I can’t wait to get my revenge lol (:
Julia: I love Julia but she always makes it difficult to work with her because she always explodes on somebody and people want her out because of it. I hope she stays a little calm this game because I could use her.
Madison: uggghhhh. I like Madison, I do. She just got me out in BBFurby and I am a LITTLE bitter about but she says she wants to work with me. I believe her like...70% because I think that she’ll take the opportunity to take me out when she can. So I need to get her first.
Ruthie: My Dead Sea queen!! We worked so well together in Dead Sea and she was vital in my plans to win and it worked out for me. I hope she wants to work with me again!
Tim: Tim is one of two people I didn’t know coming into my tribe but he’s super sweet! Our conversations have been nice so far!
Trixie: ugh stupid furby BITCH! i hate this SKANK i want her to CHOKE she will be first boot and we made it no secret in PMs we hate each other >:( HEHE JK i love this bitch can’t wait to work with her again "
Trixie
"Trixie's Alcatraz Confessional Strike Receipt #1
[2018-01-25, 9:51:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Pls trixie [2018-01-25, 9:51:51 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): ur gonna get another strike [2018-01-25, 9:52:02 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): why… why are u like this "
Dana
"There are NOT enough horses on this Island Cameron!!!!
Ok but fr me, Sarah, and my mother Quail have a Pretty Girls Only Alliance. This is a strategy Quil and I have used before, where we rope in a third girl and work with her, but Sarah is smart af so idk if she'll just like work with us and not ask questions.
Then we all made a winners alliance, which I love. But the only problem is I have a cersh on Sammy... so we can't vote him out NEVER EVER. "
Jay
I haven't really done much but i want to make the weed alliance aka me chris and Julia
Heather
Ok so when I saw Stephen here I was like " Hey maybe we can make amends and work together this season" Then all of a sudden people are targeting him. Also Aundra is on my tribe which if anyone doesn't know I adore Aundra well I do. But he is having wifi problems which sucks. I also heard Samuel's name which I would much rather like to roll with. Ughh too many icons tho why u do this. Right now I seem to be working a lot with Dan and Sammy a bit ( Wow Lago thanks a lot) even though Dan idoled me out but he d=cant do that this game cause of NO FUCKING IDOLS. Speaking of advantages I got me a heavy rock. The heavy rocks power is that I can throw it at someone at tribal and cause them not to vote. I laughed so hard when I got it cause who doesn't want to throw a rock at someone. I am really loving this violent all star season. I hope next time I hunt I get a heavier rock where I can throw it at someone to get them out of the game. hehe
Sam
Wig going okay so far!!
Ruthie
I'm SO glad that I'm on a tribe with so many creative people, i'm super busy until tomorrow and i'm just READY for summer vacation so I'm glad I'm not flailing about to save myself.  I've connected a bit with Aren after not talking to him in like two years so that's nice!
Tim
Their story was cute! But you know gorgeous (our story) next to cute. Gorgeous is just gonna devour cute. [Plz tell me yall get this reference lol]"
Our efforts actually won us the comp.. I feel so inspired to write now.
This is the season that I came to play hard and win. These comps bettee get ready because Im giving it my all and not giving up.
Ali
just popping in to say cam & olivia are the DREAM TEAM and I lav them both :)
Sammy
okay so woo i have a lot to talk about kinda...so i usually make an intro saying how i feel about everyone but umm let’s skip that. The cast is super cool but I have to be super careful because I’m playing with the best of the best? Anyways I wasn’t around to help with the story that much but I did go through and edit stuff I saw...so I did something! There were three names going around today and they were Samuel, Aundra, and Stephen. Now Stephen probably thinks that like it was me that is trying to go for him but his name was brought to me? I know we kinda said we wouldn’t target each other this round buttt he usually lies to me so why not. He took me out of the last couple games we were in together and I feel like he has something against me? Idk. So yeah...and last night i did the trails thing and I freaking got caught by a park ranger for touching a rock. I’m so dumb. The whole tribe knows I was searching:/ rip. Anyway I’m trying to get the numbers on my side and Duncan wants an alliance with me him dan and Heather. But also I might be getting myself into a little group with Dana and quill and hopefully sarah? Idk but woo.
Aundra
"So look im not that smart and all im looking for is the Ali to my Jay and right now, seems like thats not possible. So we lost immunity like i said we were going to because it was obvious any who QuilLynn decides to make a winners alliance which im definitely not going to say no to that because thats safety and numbers for a little while BUT im stupid and may have just leaked the whole thing to Duncan who i thought was a winner and isn't. ik he pays very close attention to things (or at least i think so) and this could really bad on my part and to my game hopefully it wont and all is good
QuilLynn is like a really cool person but im on to them i just have to wait till the perfect moment to strike or to get voted off lmfao but im watching them. Stephen is unfortunately the vote tonight which really suck because i wanted to kinda work on our relationship from the last game that we played in. He doesn't really deserve this but it has to happen to everyone . im also thinking of becoming very close to QuilLynn they say keep your friends close and your enemies closer for a reason                                                                                  xoxo, gossip girl"
Carson
"Wow I like most of my tribe?? Everyone is really funny and I actually don’t want to quit on day 2. Who would have thot.
Being on a tribe with Chris stoner AGAIN is terrible, but Luke is also here and that makes up for it. I cannot wait to vote him out for playing me in Alcatraz! "
Stephen
So I have heard absolutely nothing about the vote, then I ask Aundra. So then he messages me saying he’s voting Samuel, but before I can respond he deletes the message. Then claims it was a link he sent to the wrong person. Wow, glad to see he’s gotten less messy since Isle of Skye, but he did win that one so I should never underestimate him. I wouldn’t be surprised if I went home tonigh with all this radio silence, so I’m voting Samuel on the off chance I can survive.
Julia
So like these hoes so boring. I rly h8 Chris stoner, and I’ve been so high idk what’s really been happening I’m floating rly bad rn but idrc
Chris Stoner
"So I’ve been in Denver! Not good timing but it’s all good cause we won the first comp and now I’m home to socialize and compete.
Instantly me and jay clicked. Jays a cool dude. I don’t expect jay to take me far but I do think he knows I will work him.
I’ve also talked a bit with Tim and Aren. Both are cool dudes. I played with Luke and Julia before, both whom were against me. So should be fun to see how all these relationships play a role. Hopefully it’s not too bad. "
5/25
Heather
SO Immunity just ended and I am a little bit nervous about it. I definitely did the most for my tribe so hopefully I can pull out a win. We had some people like NOT EVEN PARTICIPATE. Like we in allstars bitches we gotta not flop ughh. I feel bad for voting out Stephen last round because I wanted to talk to him about flipping the vote, but he didn't get on until I was in a concert. Samuel I don't think participated so I can prob get votes on him. IF WE NEED TO WHICH I FEEL LIKE WE WILL. (Im Cam messaging to confess while I am in the midst of it I love you hehe) I hope this didn't put a target on my back, or do it. welp time to go hunting for shit
Tim
Um this challenge is so rushed and Aren and Julia are dead!!!
Madison, who is arguably one of the most beneficial members of the tribe so far, sat out and Im not sute if were gonna win!
Heather
I swear I am about to rip out my hair. I got the most points in the whole hunt and WE STILL LOST. I GOT FOR OVER HALF MY TRIBES POINT. I AM PISSED AND AM ABOUT TO STRANGLE A BITCH BUT THIS BITCH GOTTA BE SWEET.
5/26
Aundra
"So QuilLynn is my new favorite person i mean they kinda already were but like now it official because the feeling are both ways and i could be happier on other news we lost immunity again and im pretty surprised at how close it came down to right now it votes are between Sarah and Samuel. Sarah's apart of the winners alliance so i doubt they'll want to vote her out which i kinda do because im looking at the bigger picture. winners are very intimidating to me and the more there are in the game the scarier im going to be. this round shouldn't result in me going home if the odds are in my favor. ( also if you couldnt understand my wonderfull story sorry that it had alot of typos)                                                                                     xoxo, gossip girl      P.s. I know that its going to be revealed pretty obvious who gossip girl is when these get posted but it so fun to sign off everything with it so your gonna have to live with it.  "
Chris Stoner
Nothing much.  We keep winning which is nice. Gives me some time to find an alliance. I still feel pretty isolated because of my schedule. It’s hard to talk to ppl. I’m sure I’m the easy boot. So maybe a swap will come soon 
Dan
So I feel like I’m personally in a good spot even though we keep losing. I’m on good terms with basically everyone left. Duncan offered me an out of the winners alliance that won’t effect any of my relationships with them. I guess Aundra accidentally leaked the winners alliance to Duncan thinking he was a winner, but Duncan and I talked things out and all is good. I was aligned with him before them and I explained it was a one week kinda thing for me personally to make sure a winner didn’t go home first. So now we have a target of Aundra bc he done goofed haha. Byeeee
Luke
Hi nothing is happening because we won immunity woo! i have some seaglass which is cute so i look forward to using that WOO! Aren made himself a target by not submitting which makes me sad but Julia is basically inactive so I lowkey hope we vote her out first looool 
Sammy
ahh okay so I’m super tired and like I’m flying to California and I have been up for over 24 hours...ANYWAY I did what I could in the scavenger hunt and I think some people didn’t really try. I’m just in so many games but like the problem is I forget I apply for them and I’m like uh oh. I think aundra is going home tonight but at the same time it could be me because I haven’t talked to anyone. I’m trying to find a good balance between the way I played in Alcatraz and the way i played in Lago and hopefully make it far!! 
Ruthie
So I’m really sad that a few people didn’t participate in the selfie hunt but I am happy that so many people did and even more happy that we’re safe another week! I suspect that we’re going to swap tribes soon though which is kind of frightening!! 
Quil
So this is a MESS. Aundra “accidnetally” leaked the winners chat to Duncan. Now I LOVE Aundra but this has made him the target. I’ve been trying my best to help with damage control but people still want to vote him!!! I’m trying to push to get Duncan out because I like just don’t trust him, idk UGH. 
Duncan
its round two and im going home because i worked all day and wasn't able to contribute to the challenge at all rip. I trust that Sammy, Samuel, and Dan wouldn't vote me out but if Aundra teams up with the girls and gets them to vote for me I'm donezo. Aundra leaked the winners chat thing and has basically ghosted me all day and I appreciated their story the first round but if they want me out he can go. Dan told me that Quil and Dana were going back and forth about voting out me or Aundra and if I am safe tonight?? Thank god for Dan. That man can do magic. I just want to spend some more time on the island but i don't know if I'm gonna last in these conditions tbh. The game has only just started and to go home now in round two would be like going to orlando but not going to disney world. Like I want to ride space  mountain so badly, i dont want to go.
5/27
Duncan
Okay so a lot of shit happened. Firstly Samuel got med evacd from the game this canceling tribal council. Like that’s crazy, I really liked him and wanted to work with him but his dog passed so he might be in a funk and I just hope he’s not depressed and he’s doing okay at this point. Now at the same time this could’ve been a blessing or a curse. If everyone was lying to me and I was going out the door then this was a blessing and I’ve been given a second life. As for if aundra was leaving? Then this is a curse. But who can never be sure besides the hosts I suppose. Then we get told to drop our buffs. Drop these buffs honey? I’ll drop more than just this buff honey! Ohhhhh hooooooonnnneeeeeyyyyyy! So yeah! I’ll talk more about my new tribe later 
5/28
Tim
Im really vibing with everyone on my tribe all of them are really neat. The person I've bonded least with is Dana unfortunately.
Carson
HALF OF MY FUCKING TRIBE DIDNT SUBMIT... THE CLOWNS HAVE JUMPED OUT. I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I SPENT THE TIME I SHOULD HAVE BEEN SLEEPING ON THESE PEOPLE. I JUST WANT TO MERGE SO I CAN PLAY WITH LUKE AND WE CAN COWIN AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE
Aundra
"Idk if I already said this but I was probably going to be voted out because of how I told Duncan about the alliance on accident so he and Samuel decide to try to get me out idk if I would’ve stayed if Samuel didnt get med evac because he didn’t vote lmao what a dummy. We had swap which was nice mainly because I got to stay with most of the people in cool with include my allstars bff QuilLynn and Tim now!!! Happy that he and I can work together this time instead of directly against eachother I really like this tribe as a whole really and see good things going for us till we make merge which I feel will be soon do to the amount of people getting evacuated. What’s up with all these allstars being flops?                                    Xoxo, gossip girl "
Jay
I'm so sad that Julia is gone but that's okay bc I have a new alliance. Honestly I made 0 bonds with anyone on my original tribe other than Julia, Chris, and Tim. So once I joined this tribe I immediately went to Sarah and Duncan and said I wanted to work with them. Which I mean, it's half true. I want to work with Duncan far into the game, but Sarah needs to go sooner rather than later. So my thought is I want to take out Madison or Trixie, doesn't matter to me. And then MAYBE try to see if I could take out Sarah the next time. She doesn't have to go that soon but if I can make it happen, I'd like it to happen.
Dan
I’m so pissed I wasted so much time and energy on that stupid ass game for nothing!!! I love life rn, couldn’t be happier (: 
5/29
Dana
Nothing is happening. I like Dan more than I thought he would and we made a cute alliance chat. 
Tim
Rip Aren also me, Aundra, and Quilynn might become a thing!!
Ruthie
"real life is SO overwhelming right now, i thought the summer would give me more time but it's... quite the opposite these days!  As far as the game goes I am SO glad that our tribe is safe and that we don't have to see tribal for another week.  I think it was SO lucky too hehe.
I've really connected a lot with Duncan, right now he's the person I would say I'm the closest to! "
Aundra
"Guess who found a hidden item!!? MEEE!! I found the magnifying glass which many already know allows me to see who someone voted for. This will definitely come on handy if there is a suspected rat and I got to find them hopefully this isn’t the only thing I find on my walks away from camp. Watch out cause I got eyes everywhere lol                                     Xoxo, gossip girl "
Quil
the new pokemon games look so cute!!! Also love Aundra and Tim, trying to set up a side alliance with them that can take out the other winners down the line! Honestly if I make merge with the right people, we might be looking at my 3rd win folks!
Luke
My new tribe is actually pretty lit now. We’ve bonded by being the hosts’ favourites and winning two challenges! Same can’t be said for the other flops. I want to make an OG Bernard alliance with Carson and Chris to secure my spot in this game and make sure I’m not voted out before another swap. I need to be reunited with my friends!
5/30
Chris Stoner
So swap happened! I def feel swapfucked. 3/5 ppl on my tribe were on opposite sides as me in past games. The fourth person, heather, probably knows at least one of those 3 and will just go with them for an easy vote. Luckily we won and I did a lot in the challenge so I hope that keeps me around. I need another swap or merge... my days are limited with this tribe. 
5/31
Dan
I’m so over these creative challenges. I rarely have time for them which sucks because I’d have time for challenges that are more typical. You know damn well we won’t end up producing anything of substance, Heather’s tribe will submit something oscar worthy, and we’ll be going back to tribal 
Ruthie
My tribe... once again has not stated anything yet. I feel like this is gonna be another mess 
Sammy
nothing insane is going on but like we have a lip sync challenge and I’m not home yet so this sucks hahah, I’m glad that we are doing good as a tribe and honestly everyone seems to be super kind and nice about everything. So we def have good tribe dynamics. I really enjoy playing with heather this time because in lago we were kind of against each other. I’m hoping we can work more together this game and I also hope me and Carson could work well. Oh and Luke, he puts off really good vibes and I click with him well.
Ruthie
I REALLY hope my tribe gets their act together this time around. Friday is... tomorrow. 
Sarah
I hate my tribe they can all die in a pit of fire...that is all
Quil
"https://youtu.be/vis4R2MfzNA xoxo"
6/1
Duncan
Umm so we tribe swapped and MY TRIBE SUCCS EGGS!! it’s me and Sarah with jay, ruthie, trixie, and Madison. Ironically despite how inactive our tribe is we have the most members at this point in time. Julia got med evacd after the reward challenge and after the last immunity challenge, which we did not even attempt to complete, we learned the other tribe had forfeited the challenge and decided to have their tribal that night. We’re blessed as fuck to be ahead of the game right now but luck can’t last forever. We have had three days to do this movie trailer challenge but no one is ever on. I threw a while fucking idea and script out there but nothing ever came of it. If I go home because of my tribe’s inability to come together I’m gonna have a bitch fit
Sammy
literally like i keep suggesting things or asking questions and nobody responds I’m so annoyed. The only one that even responds to me some is heather...i really hope we win the challenge or i could be going home:/
Ruthie
So Madison and I just did the whole trailer by ourselves and Madison is doing 95% of the work, my lines took less than 5 minutes to film what the heck is the rest of our tribe doing 
Tim
It appears as if QuilLynn has gone inactive and our tribe isn't going to submit which is sad! Just send me to final 3 tbh. Also our trailer had a cute concept ngl.
Olivia
REMEMBER THIS DAY AS THE DAY QUIL TURNED IN THE VIDEO LITERALLY 30 SECONDS BEFORE THE DEADLINE AND RIGHT BEFORE WE WERE GOING TO NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING FROM THE TRIBE BC THEY DIDNT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION 
Carson
Heather is the proud owner of my wig whew
Aundra
"Guess who isn't going to tribal for the first time since the game started!!?? MEEE finally i dont have to try and vote out someone and make sure that im safe from getting voted. tbh i really like my tribe and would've hated to have to vote someone off i would really enjoying playing with all of them once we make merge if there are people left in the game to make merge with. these people are being such flops and not submitting confessional or voting its almost like what was the point of saying yes to playing the game. if only we had some real players in the game so i could be stressed and depressed /                                                                                                xoxo, gossip girl P.s. i know im not a girl but i can understand why someone would sign off with it its fun typing xoxo it makes me feeling like i run something lmaoo"
6/2
Stoner
. I’ve never gone to tribal yet this game and I want to keep it like that. I have a feeling the second I go to tribal I’m gone. Unless I merge. If I make merge I’ll have some more options and places to run and hide. I’ve tried talking to people and forming bonds but it’s just not working. 
Trixie
"Trixie's Alcatraz Confessional Strike Receipt #2
[2018-01-31, 5:16:08 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Hello you have not yet made a confessional this round! Pls do that!
[2018-01-31, 5:17:33 PM] Trixie Stale-Werthers: im so sorry the link isn’t working for me
[2018-01-31, 5:17:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Sure jan
[2018-01-31, 5:18:19 PM] Trixie Stale-Werthers: im so sorry but something really bad is about to happen and there’s nothing i can do to stop it
[2018-01-31, 5:18:41 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): can u not [2018-01-31, 5:18:48 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): Can u just make a damn confessional
Heather
"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXmXsntB4RM
This was earlier BUT EVERYONE STEPPED UP AND WE WON THAT SHIT HEHEHE"
Luke
AW THE MOVIE TRAILER CHALLENGE WAS SO CUTE IT WAS SO FUN SEEING OUR TRAILER AND WE ALL INPUTTED SO IT WAS ICONIC! I love the Bernard tribe we work really well together and have won every challenge thus far. The other tribes are messy and have big players on them so it’s going to be interesting to see who leaves tonight. Maybe a winner? That’d be shookening. Although I do like this tribe I’d love a swap or something, there’s never much wiggle room on a tribe as small as this but for now I’m content. Still need to work on that Carson/Chris/Luke alliance. Nothing much else to update on. Happy pride! ^.^ 
Dan
We won woo love life no one talks to me
Carson
We surprisingly killed that challenge after waiting until the last possible minute to start it. I’ve been really impressed with how my tribes stepped up after the reward fiasco a few rounds ago. It’s definitely nice not having to go to tribal, so not swapping would be best for me. I’m still tight with luke and plan on being so for the rest of the game. We’ve already talked about hooking up with the other great lakers come merge. After that, world domination!
Jay
I'm getting voted out it was fun while it lasted i guess :/
6/5
Sammy
woo okay so my tribe is doing so good and I’m so happy because if we lose immunity i know that me and heather don’t have the numbers....I’m hoping i make it to atleast jury. Alsooo i just did my maze and it went really well. Yayyyy, okay yes.
6/6
Carson
"So... is no one trying at these challenges? I'm really shocked that I'm actually dominating every single one of these. I normally do well in challenges, but I've performed better than i ever have before. Its definitely because i'm worried about my place on this tribe. Being that we havent gone to tribal yet, there aren't solidified alliances. I've also had no one start a conversation with me. The conversations I've started with people have never lead to any sort of alliance building either. It makes me believe that I could try to be blindsided because I'm the strongest in challenges and that the merge is on the horizon. I wouldn't put it past these people honestly. I know I have luke in my corner, but stoner is a huge wildcard to me, especially since he's both saved me and burned me in the past. We had a weird relationship in Alcatraz, and it makes me hesitant to trust him in this game.
Also I asked Luke the round where he got caught searching if he wanted to work together with me to find the idol. His response was yes, however nothing has transpired from it. Ive sent him my search route once, but he never reciprocated by telling me the routes he's done since he went many times before I even tried. He probably already has it honestly, which is fine, I just wish he would be honest with me about it."
Tim
Woo we won!!! I CAN RELAX
Sarah
I hate hate my tribe pt 4
Quil
So im in a good spot still, I'm literally queen of this series, but trixies tribe lost again and she's probably going home and I swear i'm going to be so pissed if i lose a jury vote rn because of that fatass tribe of rejects! (idk who is on it tbh but still!!!)
Heather
WOO Another immunity and reward. We stan the Bernard tribe. Even tho Carson basically won the flash game. King of flash games. I kinda hope another swap is happening soon but at the same time our tribe is doing fine with challenges soo hehe. 
Luke
wow hello i forgot about this omg.... we won immunity and reward again that's so amazing! Bernard tribe has been killing it but it's been boring, i need a change of scenery. i need to meet up with my friends again and kill this game and WIN i really want to fucking win oh my lord please let me win 
Madison
IT's boring af! I want to pick this shit up! Tribals have been easy! I want to be SPOOKED! Put me on a tribe with people that hate me or something I want DRAMA. 
In addition to my last confession, I'd love for someone to call me a fake feminist right about now. Do you think Sarah will since we're voting her out? 
6/7
Dan
"Literally so shocked we won. I’m not surprised I did well, but like I was so worried others wouldn’t turn it out. I thought we were getting a one way ticket to tribal, but I guess my tribe is a little more iconic than I thought.
I might actually try to talk to people today???? Idk haha I’m just so pretty and can’t be bothered"
Duncan
Like I said! Our tribe succcccs really bad!! Madison and I and ruthie get to choose which of Sarah and trixie go home. Either way is going to be pissing someone off. Hopefully we make the right decision because I feel a swap coming on
Tim
Fuck my game with this swap huh.
Aundra
"Feet don’t fail me now take me to the finish line I feel so alone on this Thursday thanks to lady O and Cam I think I need wine. ANOTHER SWAPP WHYYYY  my tribe was like the best people ever and we worked very well together now I’m with a group of people I’ve never meet which means I have to sit around and talk to them all to get to know them. This is horrible to me 1) I’m a lunatic and going crazy because I’m hella overwhelmed over the last day of school 2) I don’t really want to work with all these people and will more than likely be an outsider because I know NOBODY on this tribe 3) the only person I think I might know looks like Miranda Cosgrove and she’s allegedly super great at everything and multitalented soon to be governor of some state in America. I literally can not. IM SEPARATED FROM MY NEW GAME BFF QUILLYNN we haven’t really talked in awhile but when your tribe is safe you don’t really have to talk plus we’ve all been kinda busy but that’s besides the fact they err my ride or die along Tim IM AWAY FROM MY BFF TEEM I pretty sure Cam and Olivia hate me but you know what they say the devil can work but Normani works harder                                   Xoxo gossip goat "
Dan
Mcscuse me???? Under construction? You know my ass is Charlie Day-ing this shit searching the blog for things. I'm officially crackdt. 
6/10
Tim
Now I now more about Maine than myself. Lmao but we won woo!!
Quil
Just another day of me being the most iconic winner! Kinda sad Sarah got taken out but, at the same time its one step closer to my 3rd win!
Aundra
"So we’re voting Stoner out my favorite person on my tribe tbh i vibe with him and he’s cool the rest of these people ain’t all that and a bag a chips. I have to sit around and lie to him and say Duncan is the vote when ik that he’s the vote which makes me feel horrible because being blindsided is never fun I lowkey hope I’m getting blindsubwvaus the cast is basically full of the the people that could never and winners and the winner seem over it they’re trash in a way like come on people this is an allstar season and you sit around like your here just to be here at least act like you signed up to play and weren’t forced that’s really all I got to say so here’s to me bein a bad friend and to me possibly getting voted out!                                   Xoxo gossip goat"
Luke
"My new tribe was a disaster at first but now everybody wants a bite of this english muffin :~)
I have Dan I have Trixie I have Madison and Duncan as a threeway
Ugh my mind"
Duncan
I don’t know what’s happening. It’s been a stressful week irl and idk why I’m playing a game rn. I’m probably going home but I’ve heard stoner as the vote so that’s what I did. If I die hopefully my daughter Madison thrives 
Heather
Wooo Tim and I did that kahoot. I thought a tribe swap would mean I would lose for the tribe tbh. 
Dan
This vote seemed way too easy tbh. Did I want a comeback story arc with Stoner? I mean kinda? But like he’s also straight and it’s pride month so he gotta get the boot sis. This all could be an elaborate scheme to get me out but in all reality it’s a waste bc I’m so busy in my real life that I pay an ounce of attention to this. (To clarify I do care about this game I just had a super busy weekend full of social events and you know that this boy doesn’t ever have a social life so he had to take advantage of it!!!!)
Ruthie
"I'm SO glad that the people on my tribe are good at challenges! I hope I can do something with the next one so I can show that I'm useful and not just taking up space on the beach bahah!  
I have no idea what will happen tonight but we'll see!  I don't think that there will be another swap anytime soon. "
6/11
Heather
We most certainly do not stan this upcoming one world. No we most certainly do not.
Dan
I love rigging my random.org so Dana is safe. Gotta look out for my winners after Sarah's messy ass left haha. But seriously random.org picked her. I think Heather and Tim will be a little annoyed that I didn't pick someone from Lago, but if they ask I literally have screenshot proof that I randomized it to be fair with a time stamp so like they can calm down. And if one of them goes, oh well??? I really hope merge is next. I feel like this game is going by so quickly, I am forever thankful for that. 
Aundra
"A tribal twist that I really like but both robes are gonna to tribal I think tonight or tomorrow idk I haven’t been paying attention and am more of a mess than normal I really wish I was working with my peeps and not with these randos that are probably going to vote me out which sucks but hopefully I’ll make jury given that we get to go to tribal second it’s all about the motion of the ocean                                   Xoxo gossip goat "
6/12
Tim
Damn it I thought I had a good score in immunity but I lost :////. Congrats Carson and Dan i guess lol but comp beasts can choke (in the game that is). Dana and uhhh someone else is safe so hsbdd. Yeah so the plan is to stick with Quil, Dana, and Carson so ya!
Quil
Idk if im going home or not. Dan is dead to me for not giving me immunity!!! Ruthie better be leaving or yikes
Tim
So it looks like Ruth is dying because of this ugly twist!!! But hey atleast its not someone active.
Luke
"YES YES YES CARSON CAME THROUGH FOR ME AND HE GAVE ME IMMUNITY I'M SO FREAKING HAPPY. This just proves that the relationships I'm making in this game are working to my benefit and are keeping me safe and I could not be happier right now. This tribal council is a difficult one. I like everybody on my tribe but I said I'd work with Madison and Duncan, I said I'd work with Dan, I said I'd work with Trixie which leaves Aundra as really my only option to vote. It sucks because I like Aundra a lot but they don't really talk to me or anybody and it's getting to the point where if you don't try, you gotta go...
I'm expecting a merge after this tribal council because we'll be at 11 (I think ) which is perfect for a merge. I can meet up with Quil, Trixie and Dana, I can get back with Carson and also utilise my relationship with Madison/Duncan. I think I'm gonna make it far providing I play this game smart WOOOO O"
Sammy
ugg okay so I’m on a tribe with everyone that i like so making this decision is gonna be so hard:/ I’ve heard Ruthie tho imso im just gonna go with it....
Madison
"Me: throws immunity
Also me: feels like everyone is sketchy and that I’m probably going home this week.
Am I mad? Not particularly. "
Aundra
"Guess who’s probably going home! Me!! NOBODIES saying anything to me about a vote everyone is “lost” and i think I’m voting Trixie no need to keep dead wieght on our tribe and if these people vote me out they’re idiots complete dummy’s for keeping people that won’t work with them and can’t contribute to the tribe stupid people do stupid things                                   Xoxo gossip goat"
6/13
Tim
I MADE MERGE WOOOO
6/14
Luke
"Hello well all of the conversations about this game spicing up at merge were true because this cast is fucking CRACKEDT and I have no idea what's going on. I'm in an alliance with Duncan, Madison and Dan... Quillynn, Trixie and Dana expect me to vote with them so I'm kinda stuck between two threesomes but Dan wants to talk to me privately in a few about something and I think it's about the same thing I wanna talk to him about. It's about us being STUCK because we're expected to vote a certain. All I know is my name hasn't been brought up so that's good.
After this round, depending on which way to go I want to work with the group I don't betray, Dan and Carson. I think it'd be smart of me. I just need to talk with Dan before we decide what's going on. Will keep you posted. "
Duncan
I might go home because Tim has the fattest mouth on the block. I was hoping for some black guy magic but I just don’t think it’s in the cards. I think one of us will go home and do I know why he chooses the karringtons over the rest of us? No. Also I haven’t really done shit strategically this game and have barely been around socially idk how I’m stil here. Over jay Sarah stoner and aundra? I don’t know how he does it. Maybe if I do nothing in every game I’ll be guaranteed merge. I just don’t get why people are coming after me. You’re not going to like hearing it but sometimes I forget I’m in this game. I’m just now getting my feet game wise but apparently I can’t go in the kiddy look without enduring a shark attack 
Dan
Honestly I’m really happy that my name wasn’t thrown around this vote it’s a hot ass mess and I’m aligned with too many people
Heather
"This round is a mess. Heres what happened Madison wanted Isle of Skye Alliance Her me and Tim make said alliance I get busy and cant message and only do 12 stones for immunity thinking imma lose I win cuz everyones dead Quil wants to gun for Duncan Madison and I wanna gun for Quil Tim does what he always does in games and snakes Quil confronts me I lie I tell Duncan we should gun for Tim NO ONE IS TELLING ME WHO THEY VOTING WJDJSHD"
Carson
God this round was kind of a hot mess for me. So my main concern going into the merge is not being a target. I knew coming into the merge people would see me as a threat based on my performance in challenges. So my first order of business was to throw the immunity challenge since I would still be among other challenge threats (luke and dan) if I don’t win. Next, I made sure I was still good with my alliance of quil, Dana, and Tim. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s best for me to continue with that alliance. So I went ahead and made a side alliance with Duncan. I view him as a HUGE threat to win, but i feel better going to the end with him knowing I can beat him in immunity challenges. My old alliance is full of wildcards. So at this point, I’m pretty much aligned with everyone, which is both terrifying and exciting. I have been on tribes with Sammy and heather for the past few rounds. Luke and I are super close. I have a new alliance with Duncan that was formed to redeem ourselves from Alcatraz. Dan and Madison are allies of Luke and Duncan respectively, so I need to work on my social connection with them bc jury management. I’m starting to see a path to the finals, but more on that next round. I need to go run errands!!
Madison
Do I lowkey hope they flipped the vote on me and I go? yes. at least then someone will have made a move!!
6/15
Sammy
okay so so so I’m at camp and i feel like I’m missin so much stuff happening in the game. But I’m with quill and Dana....however Carson and Duncan want to work with me. BUT Duncan and Quill are against each other-_- why does this always happen to me.....
6/16
Duncan
I think it’s bananas that Tim went home. Well, not really, he broke peoples trust within the first round of merge. You can’t do that. I feel like no one is really playing the game rn besides like Madison and I love her but if I still have a shot to win, even though I’ve done retroactively nothing in this game, I’m still going to go for the W. So if I don’t go home tonight, expect me to start my cocaine drug abuse problem that I had in Alcatraz. Last time I was here for Mitch, this time im here for me. So once I start being active, it’s all over
Madison
"OKAY TEA. Trixie is literally voting however I’m voting bc she’s gonna be gone I’m CACKLING I LITERALLY HAVE A DOUBLE VOTE! WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!!!
Idk who I want gone. If I go that’s cute too like it’s jury who cares but this is hilarious. Idols make me a little nervy but idk. "
Dan
"I'm so yikes over this vote rn. Like I knew I was aligning myself all over the place, but I wasn't expecting to have to pick a side. Quil basically confirmed today to Luke that votes would be public tonight, which makes this even worse bc I have to own my shit. I'm hoping that Madison doesn't freak the fuck out when she realizes she is really on the bottom. This is what she gets for Mongolia tbh. I turned over a new leaf with her for Lago and now it's my turn to snake. I'm gonna tell her Duncan is going at like 9:50 tonight if she has some advantage or something cute to save him, but like I just also feel like shit???
I don't especially trust Quil, but I need her in front of me bc she'll always be a bigger threat. I know I need to flip on her eventually, but with Quil gone, the drama is gone, the target is gone, and I'm a sitting duck.
Also peep the white gays killing all the POCs, I'm literally disgusted. "
Madison
WHEW okay so I knew the vote was going to flip obviously I’m not an idiot. so this is either going to work and make it seem like I’m on the bottom OR it’s gonna make them all flip and vote me out next round and that works too so. woohoo
6/17
Olivia
Dan searched the trails and found 1/3 idol. Luke searched at practically the same time but like with a 30 second delay. Both went down the EXACT same path. Luke lost the idol by like 20 seconds it was wild. 
6/20
Dan
"I just scrolled 8 miles through the chat to find this yikes.
Honestly like if I go home this round it’s cool and whatever but I just feel like I’m great spot??? Luke showing his cards last week put the target on his back. Of fucking course he had to win immunity bc I didn’t have time to play Casanova, but like I feel like Sammy can go. I’m in 2 strong groups of three and Dana is my number one. I’m just proud I’m getting at least 7th in an all stars season where I’m coming in as a winner. "
6/21
Dan
"Wow so uh I got played huh. That’s what I get for being confident, thanks Demi!!! I just wish that someone clued me in on the Quillynn vote. Like yes I had been working with her, yes she was a big threat, but yes I would have gladly voted her ass out. She would have easily won if she got to the end just bc she’s a 2 time winner.
I did message Heather and Luke and said I would have gone along with the plan if I had known about it so hopefully they believe me bc that’s the honest truth. I really need to do some damage control with Sammy as well. The only reason I voted him was because no one gave me another alternative. I’m definitely not gonna win this game ugh. But again I’m happy that I made at least top 6 in an all stars game coming in as a winner. "
6/24
Dan
"Oh hey it’s me, Lago Dan, here to make an immunity run bc like I feel like I would have been next. I wouldn’t be surprised at all of Dana/Trixie/Luke team up against me and Sammy but also I really want to hope that Luke and Dana will go with the winners to the end mentality. I just realistically don’t see a winner winning if it’s not 3 winners at the end. The jury is fucking bitter bc it’s an all stars season and their entitled asses are just gonna have to get over it.
Realistically I don’t see me having many big moves on my resume besides the Heather vote last round. I think Heather needed to go because she really called the shots at the live Tribal with her vote and she’s someone that is likebale to the jury. This game I tried to get all the lago people out because none of them want me at the end again. The next to go in theory is sammy but I think I might try to give Trixie the boot tbh. Sammy is someone who could win final immunity, but let’s be real the kid lives at camp rn or some shit so maybe he won’t even show up again.
I really wanted to try to have a game with a bit more complexity than my first game but I think I ended up playing pretty similarly. This time I tried to hold off before winning comps and now look at me I’m slaying. But socially I think I faultered a few times in this game and I’m ready to face that bitter af jury"
6/27
Dan
This could very well be my last night in the game and it's super bittersweet. I hate that it's coming down to this fricken comp. I can't figure some things out because some things never got posted on the blog.... *EYES CAMERON AND OLIVIA FROM ACROSS THE ROOM* but anywho, Dana isn't giving me a straight answer about what's going on with everything and I just wanna die. Like Sammy told me he didn't do the comp, which is cool and will self vote to force the tie and then throw fire making, so like now that this confessional has taken a turn for the better I think I'm good (: hehehehehehheehhehehehee. I love being a two time winner (hopefully)
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Text
personal story time with reagan
so i saw someone posting hook up stories that people were sending them and mine is too long for the tumblr character limit on asks so lets fucking go:
when i was in the seventh grade, literally six years ago, i had a best friend. now me and this girl were so fucking close we would do EVERYTHING together. and slowly over time i started having a crush on her, even if she smelled like toenails lmao. anyways, there was this emoboi™ that had just started going to our school and me and my best friend who we will now call Caren were like super fucking into that whole emo™ aesthetic™ so obviously we tried our damndest to become his friend. and it fucking worked guys. it really worked. caren has like the biggest fucking crush on him and we had this other friend named kim that liked him to and kim really seemed like the biggest hoe on earth not gunna lie my guys. so me, caren and kim are all hanging out in what we like to call emoboi’s crackden listening to my chemical romance when i decided i was tired of watching kim and emoboi flirt, so i leave and just go to bayou behind his house. i literally live like 30 minutes away by car btw otherwise i would have gone home. so my dad comes and picks me up and like i go home and then i get this message from caren that kim and emoboi fucked on emoboi’s washing machine while caren was literally alone in the crackden waiting for them. we were in like 7th grade when they fucked im pretty sure. okay now fast forward to eighth grade year, i start dating our other friend (were gunna call her katy) because literally this girl was so fucking sweet and dammit guys she treated me so fucking good but NOW SHES STRAIGHT AND IM CONFUSED BUT WHATEVER FUCK. anyways caren over there gets fucking PISSED that i am dating katy and makes it very obvious that she is not happy by calling me while i am at a church thing with me and katy’s friend lizzie, and is like crying and shit and telling me shes going to kill herself. spoiler alert, she didnt. and me and katy obviously break up because katy isnt gay which is fine, whatever she was trying to figure herself out we were like 13 its fine. caren still fucking likes me and she likes emoboi even though he fucked kim and now she hates kim but whatever. so me and katy are still best friends because who cares that we dated, and she goes to this church thing that has like lock ins and shit. a few days before one that we were supposed to go to, caren tells me that she and emoboi like hooked up or some shit in his bedroom and he had an icarly poster thats literally all i remember about that kids room deadass. and i was just like oh. okay. so the night of the lock in comes around and caren tells us that apparently she helped emoboi cheat on his at the time girlfriend who she was also really good friends with and like all this shit and it was just drama and so caren felt hella bad and i was pissed tf off that she was leading me on, so like the petty bitch i was i made a plan. we had all gone somewhere with the church group and caren, katy and i were all alone in a car waiting for the lady driving us to come back. so i text caren and ask her out. obviously she says yes, because ya girl right here is a fucking CATCH. we made out in the church bathroom. and then i broke the FUCK UP WITH THAT FUCKING BITCH BECAUSE SHE LITERALLY WAS SUCH A SNAKE AND DID NOT DESERVE LOVE FROM ME I WAS TOO GOOD FOR HER SORRY ASS.
where are they now:
caren; she dropped out of school like sophomore year?? last i heard she was smoking way too much pot and being a fucking skank tank somewhere i dont even know anymore. still smells like toenails.
kim; i havent talked to her since the end of 8th grade. she became a body builder and i fucked her brother a few times until she told him to stay the fuck away from me. he obviously didnt listen.
katy; we dont talk but shes still such a precious bean. we met when we were five in a dance class and she still does dance and its adorable and i adore her so much.
emoboi; this ones actually sad so buckle up. emoboi was one of my best friends, i wont lie. he wasnt a bad person, he just made really bad decisions. sadly, he made the worst decision about two years ago and he shot himself. rip, bud. our song was helena by my chemical romance, and i will never forget that shit.
anyways if you read all of this shit, welcome to the shit show that used to be my life. obviously i changed the names incase they somehow find this, but they fucking know who they are. 
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