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viperwhispered · 1 month

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Too Hard

Woop part 2 of the trip inside Jamil's head. Part 1 here.

The next time Jamil caught sight of you on campus, his first instinct was to turn around on his heel.

What a stupid thought to have because of you.

Besides, that would only make him more conspicuous, not less.

So, when your eyes met his, Jamil gave you a short nod in greeting. He would’ve left it at that and kept on his way, had you not walked up to him.

“Hi Jamil! How’s it going?” you said with that impossibly disarming smile of yours.

Why was it so difficult to look at you like he normally would? You had no right to make him feel so stiff, so unnatural.

On autopilot, Jamil exchanged a few pleasantries with you - those lessons from his parents had been instilled too deep in him for him to falter too badly in a simple exchange such as this. Still, Jamil quickly excused himself by telling you he still had to find Kalim before his next class.

Jamil didn’t miss the way your smile faltered. Had you hoped to get something out of him?

“Oh, okay. I’ll see you two later, then.”

Something about that irked him, though Jamil did not allow himself to dwell on it further.

His heart really had no business still racing as it did when he walked away, unaware of the frown on his face.

Just act normal. That’s all he needed to do.

After all, he had no time for dwelling in silly fancies.

If Jamil had been acutely aware of you before, it only seemed to worsen now that he was making a conscious effort to not act any differently with you. In fact, the harder he tried to keep you out, the more you invaded his thoughts, unsettling him.

The most innocuous words from you looped in his mind, and even the simplest actions caught his eye. For goodness's sake, he’d found himself staring at you while you were queueing up in the cafeteria the other day, not even doing anything other than standing around and looking bored!

For once, Jamil found himself grateful for all his duties. At least they provided him with something else to occupy himself with.

After all, if he was busy enough, it was difficult to think about those bright eyes of yours, your sweet laugh, or the way you bit your lip while thinking.

Still, sometimes it felt like no matter which way he turned, you were there, ready to throw him off-kilter. Not like it was his fault that often the most convenient route to class intersected with your daily routines. Or that your face seemed to jump out from any crowd, catching his attention.

Which certainly did not help his basketball performance. Jamil certainly did not recall you having such an interest in sports before, yet suddenly you were always there, distracting him. What had changed?

Could you possibly-

Jamil scoffed to himself, forcing his thoughts back on track for the nth time that day.

He picked up the tray of food and started taking it to Kalim. After dinner, he’d need to help Kalim with his homework, there were some housewarden tasks that would need dealing with, not to mention the preparations for the next-

Jamil froze in his tracks.

The voice he heard was quiet, but it was unmistakably you.

Really, it should not have come as such a surprise to him. You had become a rather frequent visitor to Scarabia, and Kalim often invited you to stay for meals. In fact, Jamil had started planning the dorm’s meal prep with your tastes and dietary restrictions in mind, just in case.

Jamil rounded the corner with strange exhilaration, his heart fluttering needlessly.

Yet, his mood evaporated when he saw you.

Why did you stop talking and look so guilty as soon as you caught sight of Jamil?

Jamil knew that look you gave to Kalim, had used it himself a thousand times. The one telling Kalim to keep quiet about something.

What could there possibly be that you would be comfortable sharing with Kalim, but not with him? That would give Kalim reason to sit so close to you, a comforting hand on your shoulder?

Jamil's mind raced with possibilities, yet could not settle for any single explanation.

He’d have to ask Kalim about it later.

Jamil gave you a short, polite greeting, his eyes lingering on you in an attempt to read what you were hiding.

“If I’d known you were coming over, I would’ve prepared something for you to eat as well,” Jamil said, already thinking about which parts of the dorm’s dinner to spruce up for you.

“Oh, no need, just figured I’d pop by. I’ll get out of your hair soon enough,” you said, something sheepish about your expression.

As expected, Kalim asked you to stay and dine with them, and with just a bit more persuasion you agreed - though not before telling Jamil that he should join you too and have himself a breather.

And since Kalim agreed with you, Jamil soon found himself sharing a meal with you and Kalim. Yet, even as he sat down with the food, his mind raced.

Had you been getting particularly close to Kalim lately? But surely Jamil would’ve noticed such a thing. Maybe someone from the dorm had been giving you trouble? But if that was the case, then surely you could let Jamil know about it, too. Unless for some reason you did not want to? But if it was something that concerned Kalim, then sooner or later it was bound to concern Jamil, too.

All the while, Kalim was talking to you about this and that, the latest topic being the animals kept on the Asim estate.

“I’ve got some pictures, let me show you!” Kalim said with an excited grin.

Only, a thorough patting of his pockets and a look around confirmed that Kalim’s phone was nowhere to be seen.

Jamil pinched the bridge of his nose. Where had Kalim left it this time?

Before Jamil even had the chance to say that he would handle it, Kalim sprinted off. Jamil hesitated for a moment, automatically halfway up from his seat, before he decided that leaving a guest unattended would be a worse offense than not helping out his master.

Jamil slumped back down with a sigh, mentally tracing the path Kalim took today, trying to recall the last time he saw Kalim handle his phone.

“Breathe. He’ll manage,” you said. There was the faintest of smiles on your lips, and Jamil could not decide if it was knowing or amused. Perhaps both.

Somehow, despite his frustration, Jamil’s own lips wanted to curl up too.

“Hmm. Maybe he will.”

Sure, Jamil could’ve called Kalim’s phone, to make it easier to find, but it was not that urgent, was it?

Jamil took another bite of his food, keeping an eye on you from the corner of his eye.

How was his mind so empty and so buzzing at the same time?

“You know-”

“So-”

You looked at each other, both just as surprised that the other had spoken up at the same time.

Even your surprised look was so-

“You first,” Jamil said. The way you bit your lip... Jamil had to raise a cup to his lips, slowly sipping his drink.

“Just… Feels like it’s been quite a while since I’ve seen you be still, you know. Or exchanged more than two words with you,” you said. You were attempting a light, joking tone, yet it was quite clear there was more to it.

“You say that like it would be unusual for me to be busy.”

He was not prepared for the way your soft sigh tugged at his heartstrings.

“No. It is not.”

You were both quiet after, poking at your meals. Normally, Jamil would’ve cherished such a moment of peace, yet this particular silence between you two was decidedly awkward.

Where was your usual chatter? Why weren’t you looking at him like you usually did?

“If you’re worried about me, don’t. I’m fine,” Jamil said, some softness creeping into his tone despite his best intentions.

“That's what Kalim said too,” you said. Yet the way you looked at Jamil made it clear you were still skeptical.

Wait.

Had you clammed up earlier because it had been Jamil you had been talking about with Kalim? That Kalim had comforted you about?

The thought twisted his stomach into knots.

Eta: you can find part 3 here, and part 4 here. Hasdhfsdf the way I fought with that last scene I swear. I don't even want to know how many versions I went through, trying to figure out how to say what I wanted without rubbing it into your face or making it too veiled. The joys of trying to convey things through a limited pov. Hopefully it came out reasonably balanced in the end. Rip to all those sentences that were lovely on their own but didn’t work for the whole. Hopefully I can rehome y’all one day. I do have thoughts for part 3 and part x (might be some chapters between those two as well, who knows at this point), so maybe we'll see those at some point, too. Tag list: @colliope @crystallizsch @diodellet @jamilsimpno69 @jamilvapologist @twstgo If you'd like to be tagged for future works, let me know! (Just be aware that sometimes I do also write nsfw, though you can certainly ask to be tagged only for particular kinds of works.)

#twisted wonderland #jamil viper #twisted wonderland x reader #jamil viper x reader #ner writes #jamil definitely knows how to deal with his feels #also writing this is making me wonder how aware jamil is of his inner versus outer life #like he’s very aware of how he comes across because that’s what he’s been told to watch out for #but how well has he truly learned to understand himself and his own feelings wants etc?#(I mean as you can tell I’m assuming not very well)#originally this went to more of a “jamil hears just the wrong part of the conversation” route but #a) I kinda hate that trope especially when it’s dragged on beyond belief and #b) Kalim maybe doesn’t want to spill anyone’s secrets but he really is such an open book especially with Jamil so #also it’s not like jamil needs the extra help to catastrophize he already does that well enough on his own 🙃#tho then I went a little too far in the other direction and had to pull back #but let's just hope I didn't edit this to death by now #also also: since I seem to have a bit of a naming theme going on for this series #if I were to be the sort to go for the angst route what part would definitely be titled Too Late or something along those lines #also x3 but loved folks commenting on that part about reader being inoffensive in the first part #I certainly had fun writing that line #(and in general extra love to everyone who leaves comments on tags replies wherever always great to read those)#(and in general chat with y'all)

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accirax · 3 months

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Alright, let me throw my hat in the ring for predicting who the upcoming DRDT MV is gonna be about. Spoilers for the series up to the second victim reveal.

So, I know that earlier today I said that I thought the MV might be about Levi-- I even voted for him on googledetective's poll. However, after actually looking at Yoidoreshirazu's lyrics, I have another prediction who (at the time of writing) has 0% on said poll. I actually think this MV could be about Rose?

I woke up as an unaware drunkard

While Rose obviously isn't known for excessive alcohol consumption, I think you could use her sleepy demeanor as a substitution for drunkenness in this song. Alcohol is a depressant, which "can affect concentration and coordination and slow down a person’s ability to respond to unexpected situations" as the Alcohol and Drug Foundation puts it. Similarly, a person as lethargic as Rose might have trouble remembering what's just transpired, or quickly answering questions. Sleeping may be another way that Rose chooses to get away from her problems, an "addiction" similar to someone who drinks to forget.

All of this bickering goes on til the dawn comes Worn out, we all look horrible Until all thousand voices become hoarse

Chapter 2 was full of lots of fighting and yelling, of which Rose was neither a participant nor an enjoyer.

I’m giving into you, but you don’t even have anything to say And my body is dyed

In order to pay off her debts, Rose has to give in to what the Spurlings ask of her. Her art and her soul are now forever dyed by the intentions and ambitions of the Spurlings, as opposed to her own expression.

And then The sacred mountain is covered in mud, it’s smeared and chipping away, ah yes, it’s not half bad I’m a milligram away from succumbing Getting drunk again and again, unexpectedly- Ah, it’s not half bad I’m a drunkard unaware of my rival in love, so

Rose's "sacred mountain" is art itself. Even if she isn't a sculptor working with clay, it's still the journey to which she wanted to dedicate her life. Her dream is chipping away, but she says it's not that bad because she knows the alternative would have been worse. Still, she's on the verge of giving up because of the depressing state her life has fallen to. The sentiment is then basically repeated with her choice to numb herself to the world around her, being an "unaware drunkard"-- it seems chill on the surface, but she still regrets giving up so easily and not being able to contribute more.

I'm not entirely sure who the "rival in love" is. My best guess is that it would sort of be herself? Or, like, the love itself is the rival. Her desire to make art for herself and love her life is the rival of being responsible and loving/supporting her family by making art for the Spurlings.

The singing voices are uncountable And once one gets lost in them, they end up at your xx

If this is Rose's MV, this section is clearly about her nightmares. The "singing voices" would be the other participants of the killing game, specifically those who screamed out in pain from massive injuries or death. Rose gets lost in her memories via her dreams, and those visions stick with her as part of her photographic memory. You could interpret the "xx" as "door," which just means that they always wind up right in the forefront of her mind. But, you could also substitute in "canvas" or "tip of your paintbrush" to incorporate how Rose often paints the things that worry her.

Hey, look at how pretty it is, the daydream rondo一 I hide a thousand and can only spit out ten

The paintings of Rose's dreams are beautiful, but Rose always has to hide them behind black paint, lest the Spurling Foundation fully steal her soul. Still, she's frustrated that she can't paint what she wants more often.

Please don’t let this fleeting happiness go away, Until I can lend an ear by your side I’m giving into you, but you don’t even have anything to say And my heart is dyed

Rose has at least tried to make friends in the killing game. The two most notable, in my opinion, are Teruko and Nico. I'd like to believe that her brief interactions with the two of them, at some points in time, have made her happy, at least in comparison to the rest of the killing game. In Rose and Nico's FTE, Nico mentions how they like that Rose is a chill person who will just hang out and listen, and when Teruko asks Rose about her secret, Rose explains to Teruko that talking to others helps her work through her complicated thoughts and emotions. These two pieces together make me believe that Rose likes showing that she cares by listening to others, so "lending them an ear" is her way of reciprocating that happiness. Both of them are pretty quiet, but they've still changed who she is right now, for better or worse.

I’m a drunkard unaware of the story

Rose's sleepiness and general withdrawl from social interactions prevent her from getting involved in major portions of the story, such as helping Levi reconnect with Ace. Her fears also directly prohibited her from being aware of certain pieces of evidence when she refused to enter the Playground to investigate Arei's body.

Finally, I also think that the style of the music just kinda fits Rose. Veronika would probably say that I'm just primed to believe that after Venus and I assigned Rose the song Always Tired, which has a similar low-key, depressing red flavor. But, while much siller, Cartoons by Louie Zong (which pretty much everyone agrees was Rose's from the official playlist), also has that slow synthetic/tech beat. (Does that make sense??? I don't know what instruments are.)

Obviously, I didn't go through every lyric, but I felt that most other lyrics were either pretty self-explanatory, ignorable, or more of the same. The lyrics of the song definitely lead me to think that we could be looking at a Rose MV, but there are a couple of other factors arguing against that interpretation.

The first is the choice to give Rose an MV now of all times. Our first MV was Sleepy, a song for Min which came out shortly after she died. Our second was Literature Girl Insane for David, which came out shortly after his show-stopping reveal which made waves in the killing game and the fandom. Rose... well, she did have some important scenes this chapter, between the reveal of her secret and her breakdown outside the Playground, but neither of them were particularly recent or relevant to where the story is currently paused.

Well, DRDTdev did say that not every character is planned to have an MV, and that the creation order of them isn't totally within his control. So, if the idea for Rose struck now, then we could get a Rose MV now!

For what it's worth, I realized that it probably doesn't make sense to give this MV to anyone who's involved in the Chapter 2 murder. Even if we're still a few months out from that reveal, I feel like it would make more sense if we just waited until the chapter was over to give the killer a nice MV sendoff, much like Min. I, along with... pretty much everyone else I asked back in August didn't think that Rose was going to die this chapter, so she's most likely free from that mark.

The second is the quote in the description under the video, "I lack self control." I... really don't know what this would mean for Rose. Generally, I think she's pretty good at controlling her emotions, and I agree that that part might point in the MV more in the direction of Ace, Levi, Veronika, or someone else.

Still, I think that the lyrics of Yoidoreshirazu fit Rose pretty well, and wanted to explain my thoughts somewhere. Most importantly, new content! Thank you DRDTdev; stay healthy out there!!!

#danganronpa despair time #drdt #drdt spoilers #rose lacroix #nico hakobyan #teruko tawaki #my theories #yoidoreshirazu mv #i wonder what made drdtdev tell us the song's title ahead of time this time. i guess just bc the thumbnail he wanted to use has the title?#yoidoreshirazu is a bop i'm excited that anyone who hasn't heard it will get to know it better #what if it's bandori cover.... haha jk unless?#don't actually do that it would make the video get copyrighted instantly

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